#im glad it took care of the cramps at least
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I've been in so much pain this last week in a bunch of ways and I'm so tired. I've already taken pain killers but they're not really working much so I just gotta deal and it suuuuucks.
#im glad it took care of the cramps at least#chronic pain is the worst#most the time i try to shut up about it but jfc it's really made this week a long one#at least i didn't have to work
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Never thought about Scott getting mated like that at all! I just get lonely only child vibes from him even though im pretty sure he mentioned a siblings in one video? I feel like him getting left alone and possibly emotionally neglected was a thing. In my head, his parents rarely took interest in his interests and have to guess and what he's like as a person, but only when they need to think about him for stuff like holidays or family reunions.
Scott didn't even know what his first heat was. He only kinda knew heats where a thing. He was much younger than normal when he got it(not trying to be creepy. I just like lowkey projecting my pcos experience on him and making it 10x worse) . He felt nauseous, cramps and thought he might pass out on his way to knock on this parents door for help.
His parents were super vague about the whole thing. Maybe they said something like "you're a man now" and it made little Scott panic because he thought he had to abandon video games and the stuff he liked. They just kinda gave him a water bottle and said that it's normal, he'd be fine. But then he realized how weird his heats were, and jeb had to tell him to see a doctor for it. Late teens Scott had to basically pull on teeth to get his parents to help him see a doctor, and they only did it because he annoyed them enough. Now he just kinda feels like a freak and locks himself inside his apartment because he has no one forcing him to go to school like a zombie when he's sick.
Personally, I'm not into parent incest but my horny brain can justify fictional sibling and step sibling stuff (probably because I'm an only child with no step family) but do your thing, it sounds interesting!
I really like the idea of Jerry helping him through it. Scotts just so inexperienced and everything he knows has come from random stuff, he cant tell whats real or fake. He airs everything out of Jerry after months of therapy so jerry kinda goes off record and asks Scott if he wants him to help him. And Scott wants him so bad but it's a ton of stuff hitting him at once and maybe his heat is hitting too so he just runs out of the room.
Jerry comes to check on him later at his house and finds him balled up in a ball jerking it again so he goes to comfort him. Maybe he sucks off Scott a little just to offer some relief then cleans, feeds, waters him, ect.
He cuddles him while trying to calm him down. Scott asks him a ton of “dumb questions” like if it hurts the first time, if it always hurts, if his body physically won't accept anyone else or if it will change to fit only one person. And Jerry answers all his questions to the best of his abilities until Scott passes out in his arms.
It takes him 2 weeks until he asks Jerry to fuck him on his next heat. Jerry gets really excited and makes a “heat care box” (it's a cute common thing people do in this universe like a period self care box). He fills it with water, energy drinks, Scott's favorite snacks, trail mix, non perishables, at least 2 sex toys, lube, blankets, ect. He finds it very sweet which only makes him more horny when the heat hit. When Jerry gets the call from him about it he rushes over with his big ass bag to help him. Every touch feels super intense to Scott. He ends up getting knotted by Jerry and loves all the attention he gives him.
(In my mind getting mated is only a slight step up from fucking so you can get mated by like multiple different people and it doesn't physical change your body(?) But hormonally/chemically it does something to make you more receptive and submissive(and breedable). Like 80% of it is a social thing. Also the catboys can knot because I think it's cool)
this is all just really sweet I like the Jerry stuff also glad catboys in this world can knot
Scott is an only child! He’s talked about this irl multiple times :]
I don’t have many notes here this is all just pretty neat
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maybe jikook for the siblings ?? (im remembering that moment when jungkook and jimin called jungkook’s mom and his mom said “ily” to jimin🥺)
A/N: Did this in the middle of my law work ahaha but yes!
Tw: emeto
Jikook. Jimin: 21 years old, Jungkook: 19 years old. Sibling/Family AU
—------------------------------------------
Jimin let out a sigh as he entered, the warmth of the house greeting him and making his tired body relax. His keys chimed as he shoved it into the key bowl and took his shoes off. He could still hear the conversations of his co-workers, but he was very glad to finally finish his night shift and the digits of the clock on the stove blared at him.
2:12 am
Jimin was eager to be salvaged in his warm blankets, sleep seemed like an excellent idea. That is till he saw his brother, Jungkook, slowly coming out of his room. His brows furrowed and he's almost paused unbuttoning his work jacket, he called out to the younger. "Jungkookie?"
Jungkook, startled, to say the least. His thoughts were interrupted, from rallying up self assurances to now needing to explain to his brother why he was up.
He turned on his heels, it jostled his stomach. He'd tossed and turned in his bed, but there was nausea plaguing his insides like no tomorrow. Jungkook looked at Jimin, he chewed on his lips almost anxiously. "Hyung" He responded quietly.
Jimin approached him slowly, the lines on his forehead squeezed together. "What're you doing up, big guy?" He asked, keeping his voice low because the other family members were snoozing and to not frighten his brother.
"I–" Jungkook opened his mouth to respond, but closed it again. Crap. He couldn't think of anything past his stomach that bubbled, it was hot and felt like lava. The cramps jabbed his muscles, a particular one made him suck in a breath. "My stomach's not doing too well" He told him, his face paling and he almost turned green.
Jimin raised a brow, the stubborn youngest, even if it's just the two of them. Was never so quick to confess, so he figured matters were definitely serious. He resumed taking his jacket off, placing it around one of the chairs as he eyed how Jungkook was swallowing.
"Eomma, did you tell her?" He asked, maybe he needed an adult. He was the adult, but what if Jungkook needed the maternal adult.
Jungkook shook his head, and then half nodded. He briefly remembered being handed some tea, midday whilst Jimin was at work and how she stroked his hair lovingly. "Earlier, she gave me tea. But now I feel like I'm about to throw up" He felt a burp fizzle up just as he said that, pressing his fist to his mouth.
Jimin blinked, alarmed as he nodded. "Oh." He's taken care of Jungkook before, so when his mind isn't throwing itself into confusion he wraps his arm around him. "Okay, that's okay. Come with me" he held onto Jungkook and guided him to the bathroom.
He flicked on the light, his hand grabbing the door knob and he pulled it behind him so the door shut. Jimin watched as Jungkook kneeled in front of the toilet with his head hung, a look of sheer concern and sympathy etched over his face as he reached in and rubbed his back. "Not sure what's going on, but it'll be over soon okay? Jeez you're hot"
Jungkook hummed while stifling a hiccup, his skin felt hot like a burning furnace to the point his brother's hand felt like a slap to his forehead. His shirt stuck to his back, lathered in sweat that was visible in the white light. His bloated stomach pushed against the waistband of his sweatpants, it gurgled and his spine curled.
His mouth opened, the saliva trickled down. Jungkook felt the contents of his stomach curdle, the nausea pulsing through his veins and he pitched forward with a heave. A wave of golden, tea-coloured liquid rushed out of his throat without a warning and Jimin wrinkled his nose.
"Uh oh, there we go" He barely looked. The older busied himself with grabbing a washcloth from the cabinet, he stared at himself as he let out a quick sigh and soaked it under the tap. Jimin gingerly placed the washcloth on the back of Jungkook's neck, his other hand began to pat his back. "You're okay kid, let it all out. It's okay." He assured him softly.
His arms laid on the side of the seats as he shuddered, he belched lowly. Jungkook's throat burned, he rolled his tongue in his cheek and spat. His body rocked along with Jimin's ministrations, long and slow strokes to his back creating friction and providing comfort.
Jimin was spectating silently, he stopped rubbing the boy's back and wrapped it around his middle instead so Jungkook didn't nose dive into his vomit. He grimaced, muscles contracting under his palm as Jungkook heaved once more. "Shh, shh" He hushed, rubbing across the squeezing muscles. His worry hadn't ceased.
"Do I need to call Eomma?"
Jungkook heard Jimin over his garbled hearing as he retched and shook his head. "No-" He panted softly, the last thing he wanted was his mother helicopter-ing over him, fretting over him. He liked Jimin, Jimin was quiet and patient. His voice sounded like honey dripping off a stick, doing wonders to his sick frazzled brain and nerves. Jungkook just wanted to get over and done with it, now.
He felt his stomach bubble up again, the vomit crawled up his throat and he moaned. "-I'm not done yet" His hand joined Jimin's on his stomach as he held it tightly. His jaw tightened and he groaned behind the clenched teeth with a strained gag.
"Hey, it's okay. Don't force it, Kook. You're going to end up hurting yourself" Jimin warned, he took the opportunity and grabbed Jungkook's hand before he lightly squeezed the younger's clammy hand and fingers. He weaved his hand out, returning to his back as he watched some puke dribble out of him. "It's okay, you got it"
"You're okay-" Jimin paused, Jungkook leant forward forcefully as his throat made a gurgling sound and a torrent of vomit sped into the toilet. "-okay, that's it. You got it" He repeated, almost exclaiming at the amount. He sweeped Jungkook's hair out of the way to avoid any back-splash, and kissed the side of his head. At least that's what his mother would do for him.
Jungkook held onto his throat, he massaged it with a grimace before he lurched in again. He whimpered, his veins slithering up his neck. He hiccuped and continued to throw up, his frame shakes with each retch and bouts of tea mixture so Jimin steadied him.
"Did you even eat anything today?" Jimin asked, noticing he wasn't bringing up any food and just bile mixed liquid. He patted Jungkook's back slowly as he panted, helping him to catch his breath and sighed when he shook his head.
"I was too nauseous– it wouldn't stop. I somehow managed to drink some tea, and it helped for a while" Jungkook croaked, his throat raw and sand paper sounding after he dry heaved. After what felt like hours, he was finally done. There was nothing left in his stomach to bring up and if he tried, his stomach burns and the middle begins to hurt.
"Better?" Jimin chirped as he saw Jungkook was silent, leaning back on his feet. He felt relief wash over him once he nodded and smiled. "Good, you did good." He praised, ruffling his hair. "Let's get you up, your knees must be sore" He helped his younger brother up, flushing the toilet with a scrunched nose.
Jungkook slumped tiredly against Jimin, and then hauled himself to the sink where he grabbed his toothbrush. Jimin stood behind him, handing him the toothpaste. "That was pretty gross, by the way" he teased.
His brother shoved the toothbrush into his mouth, the sounds of the bristles brushing against his teeth filled the room before he stopped. Jungkook looked through the mirror and furrowed his brows.
"You're gross" He retorted and elbowed Jimin in his stomach.
Jimin laughed, doubling over when he took the hit to his stomach and coughs amidst his giggles. There may as well be steam coming out of Jungkook's ears as he glared, yet still it was entertaining as Jungkook continued. "Remember the night you came home drunk, you puked all over the bathtub and its walls. That was gross." He rinsed his mouth.
"And who had to clean all that? I did!" He sneered, tilting his head before shaking the water off his toothbrush on to his older brother's work shirt. Jimin's hands flew up to shield himself, sprinkles of water hitting his face. "Okay! Okay! I agree. I'm the gross one" He said before putting Jungkook in a headlock, holding onto him tightly and bright at the colour that was returning to his face for the night.
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Hi! Have u done any pregnant Hanji and overprotective daddy Levi already?? Yep i think im craving for more domestic levihan family, im sorry 😭
Im a bit new here in the community, and when i read ur works, i fell in love with it already, thank you for existing!!! 💖💖💖
Hello anon! Thank you so much, I’m so glad you enjoyed my other fics :3 Sorry for the very long wait for this one, I've been struggling to find the time/motivation to write lately, but I'm feeling a little better and I figured I'd get to work on some of my prompts. Starting here!!
It ended up a little less domestic and a touch more angsty than I had originally planned, but only for a moment--happy endings all round!
Warning: this does start off with non-graphic depictions of nausea/vomiting, I hope that doesn't bother you!
Hange had been feeling unwell for days.
It wasn't an uncommon occurrence—Hange tended to wake up feeling nauseous some days, most often when she'd neglected to eat a decent meal the evening before—but this was the fourth morning in a row now, that Hange found herself bent over the toilet bowl in the early hours of the morning, heaving up nothing but acid and empty air.
She retched until her stomach ached. There was nothing left to bring up, but her gut still rolled unpleasantly and there was a telling tremor under her tongue that warned her it might be best to stay in the bathroom a little while longer. She settled heavily against the wall to catch her breath.
It didn't make any sense. For most of the day, Hange felt fine. A little tired, maybe, but that was only to be expected after spending half the night every night on the bathroom floor. Tonight, no doubt, would follow the uncomfortably familiar routine: Hange would dry-heave a little longer, until the queasiness abated enough for Levi to convince her to come back to bed, and then she would toss and turn, too warm beneath the bed clothes, until she could fall into a restless sleep. She'd wake up feeling a little groggy, a little bleary, unreasonably hungry, but after a coffee and some breakfast she would feel well again. Perfectly normal.
Like clockwork, Levi appeared in the doorway just as Hange had flopped herself back over the toilet. She felt his palm, cool and soft, press against the back of her neck. Hange gathered her hair back from her face with both hands, braced her elbows on the toilet bowl, letting out a groan of discomfort as her stomach twisted, threatened to revolt again. Levi's thumb rubbed soothingly against her neck.
Sure enough, she brought up nothing more, but she gagged plenty, and found herself gasping for breath by the time she leaned back against Levi, aching and exhausted. His lips pressed into her damp hair.
Levi was as silent as always. His touch was pleasant, his presence welcome. Hange needed the hand he offered to pull her to her feet, needed his reassuring grip at her hips as she brushed her teeth and rinsed her mouth out. Her quaking knees felt unstable beneath her.
He lay facing her after they got into bed. Hange was sprawled out atop the covers, shifting restlessly to find the coolest patches on the bed. Levi watched her for a moment, then said, "This isn't normal."
Hange only grumbled.
"You said you'd book an appointment with the doctor."
Hange grumbled again. Levi ticked his tongue and rolled to lie on his back, staring at the ceiling.
"Call tomorrow."
"If I didn't know better," Hange said sluggishly, "I'd say you were worried about me."
He scowled and rolled onto his other side, his back to her now.
"No, just sick of waking up at half four every morning to drag you back to bed."
Hange managed a small, wicked snicker, but shuffled across the space between them and pressed an apologetic kiss to the back of his neck.
"Must be dreadful," she said. Her voice sounded raw, hoarse. She buried her nose into his hair and took a long, deep breath. Levi grunted, but reached back and pulled her arm loosely over his hip. He knotted their fingers together loosely.
"Call them, Hange."
Hange gave his fingers a gentle, reassuring squeeze.
"I will."
**
Hange prided herself on being a reasonably intelligent person. She had two degrees, was working towards her doctorate, and already had her name on a small handful of peer-reviewed research papers. She spoke multiple languages, read dissertations for fun, kept a (in Levi’s words) disgustingly realistic human skeleton in a box under the bed for study purposes, and had spent the better part of the last 26 years of her life studying human biology and physiology.
How she had not predicted that she might be pregnant was almost unfathomable.
She left the doctors office in a daze with an appointment card and several pamphlets in hand. She had been referred hastily to a midwife and the hospital would soon be sending out a date for an ultrasound—“As soon as possible,” the doctor had said, “since you’re not sure how far along you are.”
The thing is, Hange had been on the same birth control pill for years now. Forgetful as she may be about many, many things (like eating, and bathing, and washing the dishes and taking out the garbage and and and), Hange was religious in taking that damn pill at the same time every single day. She had never missed it, not even once. Without a regular cycle, Hange had no way of predicting when they had conceived, and the doctor was eager to make sure no essential landmarks in her antenatal care were missed, if they could possibly help it.
The thought had never even crossed her mind. It seemed ridiculous now, in hindsight. The sickness was one thing, but now that she thought about it, there were a whole host of small oddities that Hange could easily attribute to pregnancy. Lethargy, and bloating, heartburn, and she had been peeing more than usual—Hange groaned, and scrubbed her hands over her face. She should have suspected, at least. Should have put the pieces together sooner.
But, stupid and naive as it may be, she hadn’t thought it possible. Why worry about it, when Hange had taken consistent precautions to avoid it?
She felt queasy the entire bus ride home.
It wasn’t that she was against the idea of having children. One day, maybe. When she had finished her doctorate, got herself a steady, well-paid job. When she and Levi had moved out of their tiny, cramped apartment into somewhere bigger, somewhere more suited for a family.
And god. Levi.
This was something they’d never really talked about. For his part, Levi never seemed all that interested. He was good with Hange’s nieces and nephews, and Erwin’s son adored him, and he hadn’t showed any express dislike for children, but—well, tolerating other peoples little brats and raising your own are two very different things.
What if Levi didn’t want the baby? What if he did? Hange wasn’t even sure herself what she wanted to do about the whole situation—what if she didn’t want it? What if, after some reflection, Hange decided now wasn’t a good time? Could they even afford a baby right now? Hange’s money was tied up in her education, while Levi was just making ends meet at the office. They got by well enough with just the two of them, but add in a baby? A whole other person, entirely dependant on them for support? Hange could barely feed and bathe herself, some days, never mind responsibly care for a child.
By the time the bus pulled up near the house, Hange felt more distressed than ever. Levi, at least, was at work until the evening, so she had a few more hours to herself to mull everything over, but the entire situation made her stomach clench and churn unpleasantly with every new thought.
The prospect of having a child was terrifying. The prospect of not having this child was nauseating.
Levi had left the flat in pristine condition when he had left for work, but Hange barely had the energy to feel even a little guilty as she shrugged off her coat and kicked off her shoes, leaving both strewn about the floor. She dumped her bag and made her way sluggishly through to the bedroom.
Levi had made the bed. The sheet was stretched flat over the mattress, the pillows perfectly fluffed and set against the headboard. Hange’s nightshirt, one of Levi’s old, baggy shirts, too stretched and threadbare for him to wear, had been folded neatly and left on her side of the bed, her slippers lined up smartly with the bed frame. For some reason—hormones, she told herself—her eyes watered, and a lump swelled in her throat. She sniffled pitifully as she stripped off her clothes and pulled on the shirt, clambering into the bed and tugging the sheets until the cocooned around her.
Hange passed the rest of the day tossing and turning in bed. She tried to nap, but her mind was too restless, occupied with thoughts of the baby, with the concept of having to tell Levi when he came home. She could try to lie, say the doctors had done some blood work, that she was waiting on the results of some test or other, but Levi knew her too well. She could never lie to him, and her despondent state would give her away before she had the chance to say anything.
The sun was beginning to set by the time she heard Levi’s keys in the door. She felt exhausted, head aching with all the thinking, considering, weighing up her options; with running over every possible outcome she could imagine. Keeping the baby, getting rid of the baby, Levi not wanting the baby, Levi leaving over the baby—every scenario she could imagine was worse than the last. There was only one idea that she had hardly dared entertain, in fear of disappointment if things didn’t work out.
She heard Levi call out for her, but gave no answer. She listened, curled up in a ball on her side, as he shuffled around, no doubt picking up her coat and shoes from where she had abandoned them. And then he made his way towards the bedroom, steps soft on the plush carpet. The bedroom door creaked open.
“Hange?”
She made a small, warbled noise under the bedclothes. Levi came to sit on the bed, the mattress dipping beneath his weight. His hand found the curve of Hange’s hip.
“How was it?”
Hange made another noncommittal sound. She wiped her nose and eyes on the sheets, but didn’t dare show her face just yet. She wasn’t ready. She had never prepared for this conversation, never even imagined it before today. It was too soon. Not enough time to rehearse.
Levi’s hand moved to her back, rubbing lightly up and down her spine, before dropping to the mattress behind her. He leaned over her, and she felt his lips press warm and gentle to the point of her shoulder. A fresh wave of tears poured over the bridge of her nose and down the side of her face.
She tried to be quiet, but something—the shake of her shoulder, perhaps, or the shudder of air as she tried to take a steadying breath in—gave way to her crying. Levi moved off the bed, but Hange felt his fingers prying lightly at the sheets, pulling them down until he could get a good look at her face. He was kneeling by the bed now, face level with her, and he looked at her with worry pinching deep creases between his brows.
“Oi, what’d they say?”
Hange bit the inside of her lip and rubbed her damp cheek on the pillow. If Levi was bothered by her using their bedding as a tissue, he didn’t show it. He simply looked at her, eyes darting over her face, searching. It occurred to Hange then how this must look to him. She had gone to the doctors due to unexplained, violent sickness, and now she is in bed, hours later, still crying about whatever news she had received.
“I’m fine,” she said. Levi’s tense shoulders relaxed a fraction, but his face remained pinched, frowning and concerned. Hange wanted to tell him quickly, simply, like ripping off a plaster, but the words would not come. She opened her mouth, but her throat constricted painfully.
Eventually, she said, “my bag. There’s some stuff in my bag. Have a look.”
Levi gave her a somewhat quizzical look, but stood, dropping a quick kiss to her temple before going to fetch the bag, and dipping his hand in to fish out the contents inside.
Hange watched with her breath held and her stomach clenched as Levi pulled out the handful of leaflets and turned them over, looking at each one in turn. His eyes widened fractionally as comprehension dawned on him. His lips pressed into a thin line. Leaden weight settled in Hange’s gut. She curled into a tighter ball, pressing the bedsheets over her mouth and nose, waiting for him to gather himself enough to say something.
After a moment, he spoke.
“That’s all?”
Huh? “Huh?!”
Hange disentangled her arms from the sheets and sat up, staring at him. Levi moved to sit on the edge of the bed again, a scowl back on his face, though there was an intriguing flush high on his cheeks as he whacked her lightly on the top of the head with the leaflets.
“Stupid four-eyes,” he said, exasperated. “Crying like that. I thought you were dying.”
“I’m pregnant.” Hange said the word slowly, carefully, in case Levi had somehow misunderstood. He had the audacity to look at her like she was stupid.
“I can see that.”
“And you have nothing more to say about it? That’s all?”
Levi shrugged a little at her. Aside from the small patches of colour in his cheeks, Levi seemed wholly unfazed by the revelation.
“It’s just a baby. We can handle a baby.”
“That doesn’t terrify you?”
Levi scrutinised her for a moment, before he said, “are you scared?”
“Yes? Yes! How are you so calm? We can’t afford a baby—we don’t have the time for a baby? Where will they going to sleep? We don’t have a spare room. Can we get time off work to take care of a baby? How will we pay for childcare when we can’t be around?”
“Hange,” Levi said, putting a stop to her rambling. He watched her with a pinched stare. “Do you not want it?”
Hange had spent the majority of the day mulling over this same question. Staring a family was a huge, life-changing commitment, something that required careful forethought and planning. They had not had that luxury. Hange was pregnant now. She had doubts and fears, more than she could ever express, but the idea of simply having a baby—of having this baby—wasn’t upsetting. In the small, brief moments she had allowed herself to imagine a future where she and Levi were parents, where they weren’t wanting for money or time, where things were well, she felt happy. Giddy. The prospect was almost exciting.
“It’s not that,” Hange said earnestly. “I do—I’ve been thinking about it all day, and I—I do want it. But I just—we had no time to prepare. We have no savings, we have no space, I’m a mess. How are we supposed to take care of a tiny person? Babies are hard work, Levi.”
“You’re already hard work.”
Hange laughed weakly, and wiped at her face again. Levi pressed a kiss to her raw cheek.
“We’ll figure it out,” he said.
Hange leaned into him, sighing quietly.
“Is this the kind of thing we can just figure out?”
Levi hummed, shrugging his shoulder. His fingers skimmed up beneath Hange’s shirt, splaying over the small of her back and pulling her closer.
“Why not? We’ve done a good job bullshitting our way through everything else.”
Hange laughed lightly and bumped the side of her head against Levi’s.
“This is different, Levi. This is a person. A tiny little person who is going to need me and you to do everything for them. What if we can’t do it? What if we mess up?”
“Hange.” Levi pulled back a little and his hands came up to grip either side of her face, forcing her to look at him. “Stop. I know all that. But if you want the brat, and I want the brat, we’ve got no choice but to get on with it.”
“I know, I know, but—wait, you want the baby?”
Levi maintained eye contact with her, but it seemed to take a concentrated effort to do so. The flush of his cheeks deepened a little and his lips quirked at the corners. No doubt to compensate for the show of emotion, he pulled his face into his customary frown.
“It’s fine,” he said. Hange fought the urge to roll her eyes and caught his hands as he lowered them from her face, pulling them into her lap.
“Are you saying that because it’s already too late, or do you want to keep it?”
Levi’s face took on a look of constipated strain. He curled his lip as though in distaste, then hooked a hand around the back of Hange’s neck and pulled her face to his abruptly, smacking a kiss to her lips. He let his forehead settle against hers and stroked his thumb over the hinge of her jaw.
He fought to keep his tone neutral, but Hange could hear the happy tremor in his voice as he said again, “It’s fine.”
For the first time since hearing the news that day, Hange allowed herself to feel excited. To accept the idea that she and Levi were about to start their own bizarre little family. That Levi was still with her felt incredible enough, but to know that he was pleased—it was more than she could ever have hoped for. Hange gave a wet laugh and kissed him again.
“Are you allergic to looking happy?” Hange asked as they broke apart. Levi clicked his tongue and pulled back to flick her square between the eyebrows. She laughed a little louder and leaned to wipe her runny nose on his shoulder. Levi muttered under his breath, but didn’t push her away.
“Okay,” Hange said, after a moment. She sat back and pushed her hair back from her face. “Okay. We’re having a baby, then.”
Levi’s rubbed the smile from his lips with the back of his hand, nodding. “We’re having a baby.”
Hange sunk down to flop back over the pillows. Levi looked down at her, head tilted, chewing the inside of his lip. Hange reached up to brush his fringe off his forehead, warmth spilling in her chest when he held her hand close and turned to kiss her palm.
She smiled a little playfully, and freed a leg from the sheets to dig her toes into his ribs.
“If I’d known you wanted kids I would have been significantly less stressed, you know.”
Levi quirked a brow at her.
“I’ve told you that before.”
“No, you haven’t.”
“I have. At your sisters wedding.”
Hange racked her brain, searching for the conversation. She remembered the occasion, and she remembered that she and Levi had somehow ended up babysitting Hange’s family brood. She remembered Levi, wrestling to keep her youngest nephew on his lap while the eldest, still only five or six at the time, was clambering up the back of his chair, sticky hands tugging at Levi’s collar. Hange fought hard to recall more of what was said, but could remember nothing at all of Levi announcing that he had wanted one of his own.
“You said these brats aren’t so bad,” Hange said slowly.
Levi nodded at her. Hange waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t, only looked at her like there was nothing more he needed to say.
“That’s it? That’s your idea of telling me you want kids?”
“The hell else could I have meant?”
Hange dug her toe at him again but Levi caught her foot this time, pushing it firmly down onto the mattress. Hange reached for him with both arms instead, curling them around the back of his neck and tugging him down quickly. He toppled over her with a quiet oof, and Hange rolled them quickly, straddling his waist and dropping her weight down onto him.
“That is the kind of thing you say clearly, Levi! These brats aren’t so bad—you’re ridiculous!”
Levi wrestled with her arms a little longer before giving up and bringing his hands instead to rest low on her hips. He watched her with a curious expression on his face, something open and soft, and then his eyes roved down to her abdomen and his thumbs brushed inwards, beneath the hem of her shirt, stroking over her lower belly.
This time, he didn’t fight his smile.
He reached up and pulled her down by the neck, and kissed her soundly. Hange melted against him, welcomed the press of his tongue between her lips, shuddered pleasantly when he nipped at her bottom lip. She went with him willingly as he rolled them both over, nudging a knee between her legs and settling his weight against her.
She was spreading her legs to make space for him, when he paused suddenly, and pulled back, leaning over the bed and scooping through the discarded back of leaflets. Hange, winded and dishevelled, watched him incredulously as he flicked through the contents of one, then tossed it aside and opened another.
“What are you doing?”
Without looking up, Levi replied, “Checking.”
“Checking what?”
“I wanna know if we can still—” he waved a hand between them, and went back to searching.
“We’ve been—” Hange mimicked his gesture, “—up until now anyway.”
Levi looked up at her, looking mildly horrified. He held up one his open leaflet and said, “You’ve been drinking alcohol, too. You’re not supposed to do that. And look, here—you’re not supposed to overwork. You’ll have to take on less hours at the university. And you’ll eat. Proper damn meals. Every day.”
Hange flopped back against the pillows, eyes rolling, watching as Levi picked up each new leaflet in turn, pointing out every little adjustment that Hange would have to make.
“This one says you should get eight to ten hours sleep per night. Every night. And not so much coffee, the caffeine’s bad for the baby.”
The baby. It sounded surreal. It sounded ridiculous. Levi shifted to sit against the headboard beside her after opening the chunky little What to Expect While Expecting volume Hange had been handed while leaving the doctors. He seemed thoroughly engrossed, and seemingly unaware when one of his hands reached out to pull Hange’s hair free of its ponytail and sink into her hair. She hummed happily as his nails scraped over her scalp.
Things were still scary, and Hange was still uncertain about how this whole adventure might turn out. But Levi was still with her, and Levi was happy, and that—
—Well, that was good enough.
#levihan#ask#my writing#this was fun!! thank you :D#hoping I can get around to the other prompts soon too!!
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(nearly) lost love ; spencer reid
pairing: spencer reid (criminal minds) x f!reader
summary: “hi idk if you’re taking requests but if you are i’d love to read something where the reader ends up getting hurt somehow (maybe by an unsub) and is in the hospital and spencer is super worried about her and maybe confesses his feelings for her bc he thought he was gonna lose her?? idk just something super fluffy with a little angst if you’re up for it” 2890 words
a/n: im gon na be honest idk how to write angst so i just went where the story took me????
masterlist
Spencer was proudly stood in front of his geological profile in the Austin precinct when the frantic call was made over the comms.
“Agent down! I repeat, Agent down! We need a medic!”
It was Morgan’s booming voice, firm and commanding, and Spencer first felt relief knowing at least Morgan was safe. But fear follows, prickling through his entire body when, oh no, someone on his team has been injured.
Morgan kept his comm connected. Spencer could hear all the chaos on the other end – he picked up that JJ was counting bodies, there was at least four medics requested, and, the most gut-wrenching for Spencer, was listening to Morgan repeat variations of, “Stay with me Y/N. Don’t close your eyes – listen to me, baby, stay with me, Y/N!”
You. You were the agent down.
You, who, less than two hours ago, laughed at your own joke so hard you couldn’t get it out. You, who made plans with him to go shopping for Halloween decorations that weekend (which Spencer was way too excited about, by the way). You.
You, who Spencer recently realised he’s in love with.
Why does he feel like this is his fault? He knows, logically, it isn’t – the obvious reason is because Spencer wasn’t there (which, a little voice in the back of his head says well maybe if you were there this wouldn’t have happened…) and it’s likely that this is entirely the ubsub’s fault. He attacked and you were the unlucky target.
But the history of Spencer’s love life shows there is a definite risk to being associated with him.
Is this the world’s way of telling him he shouldn’t love you? He shouldn’t tell you he loves you?
Was the big speech Derek gave him, the month they spent building Spencer’s confidence up, all for nothing? Because Spencer’s cursed?
This isn’t about you, Spencer, he thinks, angry at himself. God, you’re hurt, injuries still unknown, and he’s floundering because he’s convinced himself he’s cursed.
“Reid? You there?”
It’s Morgan, still talking through the comm, and it knocks Spencer out of his head. “Y-yeah, I’m here. Y/N? Is it Y/N? Is she okay?”
Morgan’s voice is calm and collected, as always, “Hey, kid, chill. She’s with a medic on the way to the hospital. You wanna-“
“I’ll meet you there.”
Spencer dashes out of the room.
+++
When he arrives, Hotch and JJ are waiting for him at the entrance. JJ expected Spencer to be worried, a little agitated, but she didn’t expect him to look so dishevelled and distressed. His hair, usually so well-kempt, sticks up in all directions. He abandoned his jacket and satchel at the station, obviously in a rush, and now his shoelace is untied and it’s giving JJ anxiety.
“Reid,” Hotch greets.
“How-“
“She’s fine, she’s okay,” JJ immediately says. Spencer has always said JJ knows exactly how to soothe him. “A nasty knock to the head, but she’s been taken care of and she’s resting now.”
Spencer’s whole body sighs in relief.
He sounds fragile when he asks, “Can I see her?”
JJ gives a small, bittersweet smile, then gestures for Spencer to follow her. He stays close, basically standing on her heels, the entire way to your room, where Emily is leaving.
He struts straight in, acknowledging no one, intent on seeing you and seeing you only.
You lie there, lifeless. All he can hear is the haunting sound of the heart monitor, combined with your chest minimally moving up and down being the only signs you’re alive. You’ve lost all your usual colour – Spencer recalls JJ mumbling something about you losing a lot of blood – and the whole sight makes his stomach lurch.
He walks in, and walks right back out.
Everyone shares looks of bewilderment. He did a complete 180, hardly sparing you a glance, and ran straight into the hospital’s bathroom where the team hears the distinct sound of retching.
Derek sighs and follows him. Their gazes meet: Spencer’s head barely lifting from the toilet bowl, Derek shutting and locking the bathroom door with pitying eyes.
“I’m sorry-“ Spencer starts.
“Don’t apologise. How you feeling?”
He groans in response, leaning against the wall. He begs himself to not think about all the germs and diseases that are probably infesting his body as they speak – his heart stings too much in his chest for that.
Spencer swallows the stone in his throat, grimacing at the remnants of bile, “Seeing her like that..”
“I know.”
“I never thought I’d see her like that. I’ve never wanted to see her like that and-and.. I couldn’t be there to protect her and help her-“
“None of this is your fault, Reid. It’s not your fault, or her fault, or anyone’s fault except the guy that did this. And he’s dead. And she’ll be fine. Please,” Derek warns, “Don’t guilt yourself into mayhem. I know you, and I know her, and all she wants is for you to be the first thing she sees when she wakes up. If not, or if she finds out you’re beating yourself up over this, she’ll kill you, man. With her bare hands.”
Derek’s smirking at the end of his speech because he’s right and Spencer knows it too. And Spencer can’t refrain from grinning a little at the thought of you, just gaining consciousness, and leaping from your bed to smack some sense into him.
You’re incredible. Which both pains him and makes him fall for you harder.
When Spencer rises and starts swirling his mouth out with water, Derek gives him a firm pat on the shoulder and leaves, Spencer not far behind.
This time, he won’t run out of the room like a weakling. Because it’s you and you need him to be there for you.
It’s what you’d do for him. And before that thought can go any further, he’s taking a deep breath and opening the door.
You’re still resting, looking exactly the same as when he first saw you, and his stomach jumps into his throat again – it pains him to see you like this.
But Penelope is leaning over you, fingers brushing your hair back with the trademarked tenderness that is Penelope Garcia. You’ve always called her your Fairy Godmother, your guardian angel, the true love of your life.
Maybe you’d rather see her when you first wake up.
So he stays back, lingering by the entrance of the room, until Rossi nudges him and he stumbles to the top of your bed. Right by your face, your oh-so-gorgeous but bruised face, and Spencer stares.
He can’t explain how glad he is that you’re okay. You’re here, a little beaten up, but he knows that in a couple days, maximum a week, you’ll be back in the bullpen with your quirks and nudges and warmth that is so you and he’ll never let anything come near you again.
(He knows he can’t actually do that. You wouldn’t let him. But he still thinks it, because he loves you and he’ll do anything for you)
The team silently agrees that Spencer will be the one to stay with you. At least until you wake up.
(Why? You might ask. Because you drunkenly told the girls that you’re convinced the closest thing to heaven on Earth would be waking up and Spencer Reid being the first thing you see every day. Ever since, they’ve committed themselves to trying to set you two up)
Spencer sleeps next to your bed, cramped in the uncomfortable and tiny chair, until about seven am. Then he recites some books in his head, just to pass the time. Then Penelope calls.
“I’m on my way with baked goods, Doctor. Would you like me to pick something up for you and the sleeping beauty?”
Spencer goes to decline, before looking at you, “I think Y/N would appreciate a burger. Maybe two.”
Garcia hums down the line, “You know, she’s always been full of good ideas. I’ll buy too many burgers then be on my way. Kisses!” Then hangs up.
In the meantime, Spencer scrolls through your conversation on his phone. He’d never been one for texting, or technology (notoriously), but you always send him things you think he’d like – maybe an article (he’s read every single one you’ve sent, even the one about the monkey using a frog to masturbate), a picture of a cute dog (this one looks like you, spence!!!!!!), and anything else that catches your eye.
For example, a comprehensive list of way too many “why did the chicken cross the road?” jokes.
They’re your kryptonite. Even after you explained the joke to Spencer, in depth, he still doesn’t quite understand the appeal. But you love them.
So he reads them to you.
He knows you can’t hear him. Being asleep is obviously very different to being in a coma, where people have claimed to be able to hear the people around them, but it passes the time and eases him a little. Cause he also knows that if you were awake you’d be chortling away, happy as can be. And that’s how you should always be.
Happy.
Spencer hopes he makes you happy.
Damn, he loves you.
Damn.
He has to tell you he loves you.
It feels like this need, this obligation – if he doesn’t tell you when you wake up then when will he tell you? The next time you’re injured?
The thought sends him reeling.
No matter the outcome, you need to know. He needs to tell you.
“Why did the rooster cross the road?” He reads aloud, “To cockadoodle dooo something.”
He’s cheesing at his screen, at the audacity and stupidity of these jokes. But they’re sweet, just like you, and they take everyone prisoner when it comes to making people smile.
“That was a good one.” You heh.
Your voice is croaky after not being used in hours, but it’s still the same dreamy voice Spencer loves to hear.
You’re awake. And already smiling, which is one hell of a win in Spencer’s book.
“Good morning.” He whispers.
“It’s morning?” You ask, moving your head slowly to see outside your window. “At least I got a full night’s sleep for once.”
“Should you really be joking in your condition?” Spencer teases, leaning to fluff your pillow when you wince.
You exhale deeply, “And what is my condition, exactly?”
“You look as sexy as ever, buttercup.”
Garcia’s grinning from the doorway, Derek the same from behind her, two bags of food in her hands.
You’re ecstatic when you say, “Penny!” Trying to hide the pain when she hugs you. You’re too happy to see her to turn down her love.
She dishes out the burgers and, as expected, you ask if there’s another in there for you. You chomp happily, despite the dull ache still present, chatting jovially with the three of them.
Penelope gets caught up in telling you about the most recent documentary she saw. When he notices, Derek nods towards the door, making Spencer furrow his eyebrows in confusion. What does he want?
Derek does it again and Spencer gets it. He lifts from his seat the same time Derek does, saying nothing until they’re out of the room and the door has shut behind them.
“I’m gonna make Penelope leave-“ Derek begins, and Spencer stutters.
“What? Why? Is everything okay?”
Derek chuckles at Spencer’s reaction, “Kid, everything’s fine. You just gotta tell her.”
Spencer doesn’t even try to pretend he doesn’t know what Derek’s referring to. He peeks through your door’s window, staring directly at you as you giggle at something Penelope says.
“Do I?” He ponders. “It could-“
“Nope. We’re not doing that “it could ruin everything” spiel. You’re an adult, she’s an adult, and adults don’t play around with feelings like this. Tell. Her.” Derek’s got both hands on Spencer’s shoulders, grip tightening and loosening sporadically as he talks. He looks like a football coach giving a pep talk before the big game, and Spencer feels invigorated.
“Alright.” Spencer nods once, “Let’s do this.”
“I will remove Penelope Garcia from the premises.”
They nod at eachother and move back into your room.
+++
When Penelope is pulled from your room by Derek, stumbling and muttering and stuttering, all you do is blink in confusion.
“What’s going on there?” You say, speaking out of the side of your mouth, as if you’re sharing a secret.
Spencer doesn’t answer. You turn to look at him, another question on your tongue, but the words die when you see his facial expression.
It’s so tender. So soft, and gentle, the littlest of smiles on his lips as his cheeks darken.
“If I tell you something really dramatic right now, do you think you could handle that?”
Your head tilts, brows furrowed, looking far too endearing with your bandaged head.
He clears his throat, “I just-just need to make sure it won’t overwhelm you.”
You don’t know what to expect, but you agree anyway. Is this why Derek and Penelope left?
“I vomited when I saw you in bed. In this bed. In hospital.” He begins.
“Oh, thanks, Spence,” You tease.
“No- no. Hear me out!” He gives a little laugh, hands coming up in defence. “I don’t have a script, and statistically, both men and women speak around sixteen-thousand words a day – I want these ones to be special. Because you’re special.”
You’re still visibly confused. You clasp your hands together in your lap, “I’m listening. You have my full attention.”
Having your full attention is terrifying and electrifying at the same time. Spencer wants you to know that.
“You make me feel things, you know.” He reveals, “Things I’ve only ever read about, fantasised about – you know… things.”
This is going terribly. For a man who’s read the dictionary more times than he cares to count (he does care to count – twenty two times), he is very much struggling to explain himself to you.
Deep breath. From the start.
“It’s alright, Spence,” You console, hand resting on his closed ones. “Take your time.”
He does. He takes a few more breaths. “I don’t know where to start so- so bear with me.”
“Always.”
Why do you have to make his heart race like that?
“What?”
Oh. He said that out loud.
Well. Might as well repeat it.
“I said,” Louder this time, “Why do you have to make my heart race like that?”
“I’m sorry?”
“No. No- I like it. I like you, that’s what I’m trying to say. Maybe not like since Derek told me we’re not in high school, kid,” He lowers his voice to impersonate Derek, “But the l word is scary, especially when I don’t know how you’re gonna react. But whatever you say, however you react, we’ll be okay. I know we will. I just need you to know how you make me feel and how-how good I think I’d treat you, I guess.”
It feels like your silence goes on forever. Then you quietly ask, “And how do I make you feel, Spence?”
“Like I’ve never felt before. I meant it when I said you make me feel things I’ve only read about – you’re so easy to love, you know that? Infuriatingly so. And you’re so open – I think that’s what drew me in at first. You knew nothing about Doctor Who, but you heard I was asking around for someone to go with me to that convention and you said you were available if I wanted you and I… I had to practice how to ask you in the mirror for three days straight. Of course I want you, Y/N. I think I always have.”
His voice is timid when he asks, afraid of what the answer might be.
“Do you think you want me too?”
“Are you crazy?!” You cry out.
The volume makes Spencer jump. Then he registers what you said and slumps, rejection seeping in.
“Spencer-“ You say, exasperated, “You’re the most incredible person I know. I tell you all the time cause I mean it.” You give a short laugh, “How could you even think that I wouldn’t feel the exact same? I’m kind of obsessed with you, Spence.”
The shock on his face melts into pure joy. Is this really happening? You..
“I want you an embarrassing amount, Spencer Reid. I always have and I always will.”
He doesn’t know what overcomes him, but he leaps forward and smashes your lips together. It’s messy and a little clunky, teeth hitting together and mouths unable to stop grinning, but it’s perfect. Everything you could’ve asked for in your first kiss with Spencer.
It’s perfect. He’s perfect.
And he thinks the exact same of you.
He pulls back, heart racing and entire body burning, strong hands cradling your head. It doesn’t take a profiler to realise the two of you, foreheads leaning against eachother, are the happiest you’ve been in a long time.
“You taste like burger.” Spencer breathes, soft and low.
You giggle. “You taste like coffee and burger.”
His lips quirk, raising an eyebrow, “You like it?”
You hum, rubbing your nose against his, “I like it a whole lot. I like you a whole lot.”
Spencer kisses you again.
And again.
“Glad to know we’re on the same page.”
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfiction#mine#i like this one! i think#does anyone else struggle infinitely with titling fics#i go with the randomest shit lol
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Teacher’s pet- Part 19
Here is the latest part of my dad! Ben Hardy series, I hope you will all like this part I know it’s taken me a few days to get it done. Feedback is always lovely to have.
Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh
Series taglist: @im-an-adult-ish @gwilymleeisbae @k-k0129 @haileymorelikestupid @glittrixvibe @youngpastafanmug @ultraviolencezs @kdatthecastle @darlindolan
Series masterlist
Summary: (Y/n) teaches at the school Ben’s boys go to and they soon start a relationship. But they have their ups and downs with the problems Ben faces with his boys and how quickly the relationship progresses.
Enjoy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A tired sigh passed through Ben's lips as he slouched further down in the light blue leather chair beside (Y/n)'s bed. After spending the night and most of the morning in the same chair, it had turned from comforting to a very painful chair to sit in for hours on end.
He knew that very soon he was going to have to go to his mum's house and see the boys and take them home for the night but he didn't want to leave (Y/n). He had called his parents early in the morning to let them know that (Y/n) and their girl were okay and being taken care of and to ask if the boys were okay. His mum had said it was fine for the boys to stay for a few nights because she knew Ben needed to be with (Y/n) and the baby right now but Ben said he wanted to have the boys tonight. He didn't want to be away from any of them for too long in case they got unsettled.
When he talked to his mum he said he would be there to get the boys at around four in the afternoon but he doubted he would be there in time anymore. He wanted to talk to (Y/n) before he left and make sure she was okay with being on her own for the night because her parents couldn't come and stay with her tonight. But she hadn't woken up yet.
She had slept through the night due to the painkillers and the exhaustion of everything she had been through and it was understandable. (Y/n) had woken up at around ten in the morning and talked to Ben as much as she felt able but she had fallen right back off to sleep without wanting anything to eat or drink and she hadn't woken since.
Ben was at least relieved that (Y/n) seemed better than she did last night.
The painkillers had been lowered this morning, she had had two blood transfusions late into the night which seemed to have worked and had now finished and she wasn't on any oxygen either since she had mellowed out and stabalised.
With (Y/n) calm and stable, Ben had gone to see their baby girl at around half past ten at night. It surprised him how small she looked yet she didn't look that premature in his eyes. Her hands and feet were formed and there was no sagging skin anywhere on her petite frame. She could open her eyes and her features looked normal instead of shrunken and unfinished.
Doctor Mills had even told Ben that tomorrow they could hold her if they wanted which was a good sign that she wasn't in any immediate danger.
Reaching his hand out, Ben slowly brushed a few loose strands of hair behind (Y/n)'s ear, knowing she didn't like when her hair fell near her eyes. He slowly smoothed the side of his hand against her cheek like a feather brushing against her skin. Smiling to himself at the feeling of her fuzzy peach skin against his hand. Ben liked how peaceful (Y/n) looked right now, it was a much better look than how distressed and sick she had looked last night.
It was tempting to just leave and let (Y/n) rest but Ben didn't want (Y/n) to wake up and wonder where he had gone and be on her own.
Ben slowly moved his hand, trailing his fingers against (Y/n)'s neck and down to her collar bone as he leaned his head to the side, his eyes following the intricate patterns his hand was making.
His fingers tickled against her skin and gently slipped under the pale cream hospital gown (Y/n) was wearing since she hadn't had the energy to change into any clothes Ben had brought with them. But when his hand carefully caressed her chest and danced across her skin, his head ticked to the side and his eyes narrowed a little when he looked at her skin.
His cramped frame sat up straighter in the uncomfortable chair and he hunched forward like he was going to rest his head on his knees but he pushed his upper body closer to (Y/n) instead. His fingers hooked around the edge of the gown she was wearing and he pulled it down so he could look at her chest properly. (Y/n) had pale blue patches of skin on her chest as well as dark red dots that looked like a rash.
A look of contemplation came across Ben's features before he silently reached across and pressed the emergency help button.
"Baby... baby, you gonna wake up for me?"
Ben started to run his fingers across (Y/n)'s cheek and neck to try and prompt her to wake up and look at him, relieved when she finally started to blink. Her tired, rather sore eyes slowly focusing until she was looking up at him and her lips curved into a small exhausted smile.
"Are you going home to the boys now?" (Y/n)'s voice was croaky and quiet since she was still mostly asleep and hadn't used her voice in hours but Ben heard her properly. She knew that he was planning on spending the night at home with the boys and she agreed it was a good idea so they wouldn't be worried or unsettled with Ben being away for so long. To be honest (Y/n) wouldn't mind Ben going now, she didn't want him staying with her if she was only going to be sleeping off the painkillers and the after effects.
It wouldn't be fair for Ben to stay with her if she was only going to be half awake every so many hours. Unless he was staying to be with their girl, (Y/n) would rather him go and stay with the boys and make sure they were okay.
"Um, not just yet baby, the doctors coming to see you." Ben smoothed his fingers through (Y/n)'s hair as his eyes darted from her to the door when doctor Mills walked through.
Doctor Mills looked concerned considering the emergency button had been pressed but he was also apprehensive, he didn't want to come in all guns blazing and worry either (Y/n) or Ben if there was no need. But after the events (Y/n) had gone through yesterday he had been walking on egg shells in case something else happened with her. She was in danger of another haemorrhage, a number of infections, a fever, even a hernea.
"Afternoon (Y/n), is everything okay?" He looked between Ben and (Y/n), unsure which one of them had asked for assistance until he saw the look in Ben's eyes. It was almost like he felt guilty for wanting help or a second opinion on something and he clearly hadn't told (Y/n) whatever was worrying him.
"She has a rash on her chest and it doesn't look normal."
(Y/n)'s tured eyes seemed to wake up a bit more when she comprehended Ben's words. She wanted to sit up and scan her chest to see what he was talking about but she had no energy to move around just yet, nor did she have any energy to take his hand or express her worry. She hadn't had any rash last night when the midwife came back to check her over and make sure she was okay and settled. After her blood tranfusions had finished everyone seemed rather sure that she was on the road to recovery and would be fine.
"Okay. (Y/n), could we move you onto your back so I can examine you please?"
Doctor Mills could see that (Y/n) had very little energy when he moved to stand beside her so he and Ben very carefully helped her turn until she was resting on her back.
It didn't take long for Doctor Mills to examine the red blotches of skin dabbed with distinct patches of blue before Ben watched his expression turn grave. He moved to grab the stethoscope from around his neck and listened to (Y/n)'s heartbeat for a moment before he pressed it under her back to listen to her breathing.
"(Y/n) it looks like you've developed sepsis from catching an infection after labour. I'm going to call a nurse, we'll take some blood and run some tests and you're going to be put straight onto antibiotics."
Ben ran his hand over his face before he reached out and took (Y/n)'s hand in his own. Sepsis was the body's way of reacting badly to an infection, the body started to attack healthy tissue and organs because it was confused and if it wasn't treated quickly it could be fatal. The fact that this was happening in her chest was what was scaring Ben the most because if it got to (Y/n)'s heart they wouldn't stand a good chance of helping her. It had to be treated and sorted out now.
Ben wasn't going home anytime soon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ben didn't know what woke him.
It took him a few moments to try and scan his eyes around the room that was submerged into darkness with only a few streaks of light coming from the few machines in the room and from the gap in the door.
He could feel his body tensing and cramping from the way he had been laid in the uncomfortable chair. Ben was used to sitting in chairs for hours on end when he had to transport prisoners long distances from court to prison or one prison to another. But he was always sat up or slouched for those few hours and sometimes he was even sat in the back of the van with the prisoners. But last night and tonight he had been laid out in the chair with his feet propped up on the end of the bed and it was tensing all his muscles.
His back was bent at odd angles for a few hours each time, his legs were propped up and the edge of the bed was digging into his lower calves. And there was no good position for him to rest his head when he was sleeping but he was glad he could at least manage to sleep right now.
It didn't take too long for Ben to realise what had woken him when he pushed himself to sit up in the chair and pull his feet down from the bed. His eyes set on (Y/n) in the darkness when her hand suddenly reached over but instead of taking his hand like he thought, she hit his arm instead. Her movement was quick and hap-hazard and it was clear she didn't know if she had Ben's attention or not because she kept hitting his arm just to make sure he was waking up.
Ben was quick to turn on the light above the bed so he could see what he was doing and what was wrong with (Y/n) for her to be waking him in the middle of the night. But his eyes widened in their sockets when he took in her state.
(Y/n) was laid on her side facing Ben with her right hand clamped around Ben's lower arm but her other hand was pressed forcefully against her chest. But it was her breathing that was worrying Ben, (Y/n) sounded like she was being strangled, her breaths were like static from a tv and sounded very hard to catch. Her chest wasn't moving properly, it seemed to be expanding and expanding but not exhaling and her body was trembling and jerking like she was being electrocuted.
Ben didn't think twice before pressing the emergency button at his side before he hunched over in his chair, trying to see why (Y/n) couldn't breathe but he couldn't figure it out. His first thought was that she was having some kind of allergic reaction to something but she would have had a reaction before now if it was the antibiotics that she was having a reaction to.
"Hey, baby just try and calm down for me. Shh, someone's gonna come and help you it's okay."
He slowly brushed his fingers through (Y/n)'s hair as he moved his other hand so he could hold her hand that was grabbing onto his arm. All that Ben could think of doing was trying to calm her down right now because he couldn't work out what was wrong or make it better.
When Doctor Mills and two nurses came barelling into the room and turning the main light on, Ben wondered if this man ever had a day or even an hour off. Whenever they needed something he always seemed to be here on hand at the ready to help. It was a relief to have the same doctor here to help them but he didn't seem to go home.
"She can't breathe!" Ben's words were frantic and he was already up and out of his seat, moving towards the back of the room to let the professionals take his place. He didn't want to be in the way when they needed to help (Y/n) but Ben did still want to be in the room, he couldn't wait outside not being able to see or hear what was going on because it would drive him insane. He backed himself up against the wall, pressing one hand over his mouth to try and slow down his own breathing but he hated this.
He hated having to watch and not being able to do anything, it made him feel so useless and powerless stood at the back of the room not able to do anything for the person he loved. Ben had to stand and watch everyone else do everything for (Y/n) and wait around until she was okay enough for him to be next to her again an offer the only thing he could; love and comfort.
Doctor Mills started listening to (Y/n)'s breathing before both nurses carefully but swiftly turned her so she was laying on her back rather than her side. They moved the monitors and drips out of the way so they could help her.
"The sepsis has reached her lungs, the right one has collapsed I'm going to have to intervene. Get a room in intensive care sorted with a ventilator."
The doctor looked between both nurses before one of them left the room to sort out a room for (Y/n) when they had gotten her a bit more stable than this. When his eyes cast down to (Y/n), he tried to smile comfortingly at her to try and show her that it was okay and she would be okay before he started to get to work.
With frightened eyes, Ben watched Doctor Mills oull down the front of the gown (Y/n) was wearing so he could see her chest before he tapped his fingers against her chest. When he made sure there were no blocked arteries or veins, he pressed his index and middle fingers over two ribs on the right side of (Y/n)'s chest. Pushing the skin between his fingers so he knew where the gap was between her ribs.
He didn't have to speak, all he had to do was hold his hand out expectingly to the nurse who placed a worrying sized needle in his hand.
"Okay (Y/n), try and hold your breath for me, you'll feel like something's popped in a moment."
Ben's frame jumped against the wall when he watched the doctor stab the needle into (Y/n)'s chest between her ribs and his two steadied fingers. The moment he did that it looked like a balloon had suddenly burst in (Y/n)'s chest which deflated instantly.
(Y/n) seemed to gasp and cry out all at once as her body sank down rapidly before her chest slowly rose a little more now that the air in her chest was alleviated and her lung could expand properly. But even though she could breathe better, Ben could still hear the static sound as she started to breathe and it didn't look like she was actually breathing at all. It looked as if she was drowning instead.
Doctor Mills gently pressed the end of his stethescope under (Y/n)'s back to listen to her breathing again before he reached out and pressed the intercom button.
"I need an OR set up immediately, post-natal sepsis and fluid in the lungs. Mr Jones could you step outside-"
"No! I can't leave her!"
A deep sigh passed through the doctor's lips as he didn't have the time or the effort to argue with Ben this very second.
He reached out and increased the amount of antibiotics going into her veins through the drip before he and a nurse helped to turn (Y/n) onto her side in case she was sick and to decrease the chances of the fluid causing her to choke or drown.
"Intervene and start getting rid of the fluid and the team will come and take her to surgery."
Dr Mills gave his orders before he side-stepped around another nurse who came speeding into the room, allowing the doctor to advance oveer to Ben as (Y/n) was in capable hands. He genty rested his hand on Ben's shoulder before trying to urge him to leave the room with him. Ben watching this was only going to traumatise him and they needed to stabalise (Y/n) and get her taken to an operating room, Ben couldn't be in the way of that.
"What... what's happening to her?" The desperation and sadness in Ben's voice made the doctor frown. He could never get used to seeing people cry in front of him or be so cut off and desperate like this because he couldn't help them, he could only help the ill.
"The sepsis is affecting her lungs, her antibodies are attacking the healthy tissues in her chest and it's caused her lung to collapse but the other lung is starting to fill up with fluid. She needs an operation to drain the fluid and attach a tube into her lung so if this keeps happening we can keep draining it. Then she must be on a ventilator until she is well and stable enough to breathe on her own."
"Could she die?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Dad!"
The moment Ben closed the front door behind him his body was overcome by his boys attaching themselves to him like monkeys clinging to a tree. A sigh passed through his lips and he wasted no time in lowering himself down to his knees so he could wrap his arms around all his boys. He buried his face in Carter's hair who was clinging to his right side as he had Finn buried in his chest and James attached to his left arm like he was never going to let go.
"Hey, you all okay?" He breathed through the words, his eyes tightly closed as he didn't dare let any of them go.
"Missed you." Finn mumbled quietly, not prepared to let Ben go just yet. They had all spent three nights here with their nan, away from Ben and it was the longest they had been away from him in over a year. They hadn't thought that (Y/n) having a baby would mean they were away from both parents for so long.
"Yeah, where's mum?" Carter pulled his head back just enough so that he could look between Ben and the door, trying to see if (Y/n) would be walking through the door at any moment or not.
"She's at the hospital buddy... come on let's go sit down."
Ben moved his arms so he could pick Finn up and rest him on his hip before he motioned for his other two boys to walk ahead of him and go into the living room. Ben's eyes briefly locked with his mother's who was standing in the doorway to the kitchen before he guided the boys to sit down. He watched Carter and James sit down on the sofa before he gently settled Finn down next to them. Leaving Ben the room to kneel down on the carpet in front of them.
"Is mum okay, and little sister?" The moment their nan had told them that (Y/n) had had the baby, James had been desperate to go to the hospital and see their sister. He couldn't remember what it had been like when Finn was born but he had been fascinated this time around with (Y/n)'s stomach and knowing how big the baby would be and when she would be here. Now he just wanted to go and see what she looked like.
"Yeah... um, boys listen up for a minute. (Y/n) had the baby the other night like nanny said, but they're not very well at the moment."
"Why?"
"Your sister's here a bit early so the doctor's are looking after her but she's fine, nothing's really wrong with her. But your mum... she's been ill, she had an operation last night so I had to stay at the hospital with her again to make sure she's being looked after."
Ben didn't know how to explain it without upsetting, scaring or angering any of them. With their sister it was easier to explain because she was just premature, the doctor had assured Ben that she was doing well and in two weeks or so she would be fine to be out the incubator. But with (Y/n) it was different because her problems couldn't be cured or helped so easily.
"Operation for what?" Carter's words were slow and calculated but his expression was for once, very easy to read.
"She got an infection and it made her really poorly, she had to have an operation to clear her lungs. But it worked and I've seen her this morning, she's okay at the moment but she's gonna be in hospital for another week or two."
The operation had worked, (Y/n)'s lungs were cleared of fluid and a tube was inserted into her chest to keep draining them but she was on a ventilator since she couldn't breathe on her own. They had to wait and see if the antibiotics were working and clearing the sepsis and it was a waiting game that Ben didn't want to play.
"Can we go see mummy?"
"I'm taking you all home with me tonight and tomorrow I'll take you to see your sister, but you can't see your mum just yet. In a couple of days when she's feeling better then you can visit her, but not right now boys. You can see her soon, I promise."
There was nothing Ben wanted more than to take them to see (Y/n) to lift her spirits and calm them all down. But he couldn't let them see her on the ventilator, it would scare the hell out of all of them to see her unable to breathe herself, being hooked up to so many wires and machines. And they wouldn't like her not being able to talk to them. (Y/n) looked ill and the boys seeing her like that would only worry them further and Ben couldn't do that to them.
Ben couldn't let them worry like he was.
#ben hardy#ben x reader#ben hardy imagine#imagine#BoRhap#gwilym lee#gwilym imagine#teachers pet#pregnancy
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aaa i loved how you wrote the coming out one!! it made me smile so much :’) could i request the rfa and v and saeran and when they knew that mc was the one? like the one they wanna spend the rest of their life with
RFA+V and Saeran reaction when they realize Mc is the one
Aww thank you so much!!! \(^○^)人(^○^)/ I’m glad it made you smile! Thank you for the request, I hope I wrote this the way you wanted it, or at least similar :)! I hope this one makes you smile too! (Working on two other lovely requests as well! Check my Masterlist regularly to see what I’m working on!) (。♥‿♥。)
!!WARNING!!
!!PROFANITY AND TRIGGERING SCENES!!
☆ Yoosung ☆
☆ Since day one of you joining the RFA, he definitely had his guards up against you but, ended up always somehow taking an interest towards you. That interest grew to an attraction and soon into love. Yoosung just knew you were the one. You understood him so much and you had a deep connection with him no soul could break it. You loved him too, you also felt like he was the one for you. The person to marry, to have kids with, the person to hold hands and grow old with till death did you apart. However, it wasn’t really that simple. Every time he tried to express his love to you he gave you rather aggravating compliments as he compared you to Rika. It made you doubt yourself, did he really love you? Or did he see you as a substitute for someone that couldn’t be with him anymore. All you wanted was for him to see you as you. It hurt you everyday and even if you have never mentioned it, he could take the hint and he regretted it every time he compared you. But it was like a habit, it was almost like he was programmed to say it.
☆ One day you had been sitting against the bedpost as you read a book before going to bed. Yoosung came in as he took a seat next to you, he suddenly apologized to you. Out of the blue he says, “Mc...I’m so sorry.” This was so random but his voice was so gentle and he had such a guilty expression on his face. You were a little scared as you replied, “Why?” You place your book down on the nightstand.
☆ He held your hands together, as he began to tear up. You only had a baffled expression before gently swiping his tears with your hands. You tried to calm him down but he only continued to apologize, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I always compare you to Rika but I don’t mean to. You’re so sweet, understanding, lovable, supportive, and...and so much more! But I don’t tell you that...I always only tell you that you’re like Rika. And that’s not true. You’re, you.” Your heart stings at his last words. They were exactly the words you wanted to hear. Either way, you continue to hear him out still a bit baffled, where was this all coming from? He takes a while to breathe in to continue, “It was never my intention to hurt you, but it doesn’t change the fact that I did. So you don’t have to forgive me. I’d understand.” He begins to sob as you hug him. “Yoosung, It’s okay. We’ll get over this, I know.” He continues to cry as he barely screams out, “Don’t...act like you’re fine when you’re not! You’ve been hurting yourself!” You let go of his hands, now he’d just doubled your confusion. “Babe what do you mean?” He leads you to the bathroom, he points to the trash can. In the can there's Toilet papers soaked in blood. Did he think you were harming yourself? But that wasn’t true in fact... Your face blushes red, they were from wiping blood from your ass. “Babe...IM ON MY PERIOD!” (┛o`皿′o)┛彡┻━┻
☕️ Jaehee ☕️
☕️ After moving in with Jaehee, you would notice the two of you getting into arguments quite often, but they always ended up in fluff. You've always thought Jaehee was the one for you. You wanted to get married and start a family of your own with her. However Jaehee didn’t really mind, she just lived in the moment. Just happy you were her girlfriend and she was your girlfriend. This is what she thought, until one day, you were invited to your friends wedding. You offered Jaehee to come with you, and she gladly accepted.
☕️ The ride to the hotel where the wedding would take place did not take long to get to. You linked arms with Baehee as you greeted your friend. Your friend looked beautiful in her glamorous white bridal gown. Jaehee had never been invited to a wedding before. She thought everything was cool as she explored with awe in her eyes.
☕️ When it was time for the main event you and Jaehee took a seat at your table. The lights went off, the only light in the giant ballroom were the spotlights that flashed the charming groom. The music started playing as the beautiful bride entered with another spotlight flashing at her. The Processional had started. The bride slowly walked down the aisle, linked arms with her dad and a flower girl throwing flowers along the sidelines. Jaehee just imagined it for a moment. She imagined she’d be standing waiting for you down the aisle. She imagined Seven proceeding the speech for both of you, as you walked down the aisle in a alluring white gown. You would mesmerize everyone in the room, but you’d only walk down that aisle for Jaehee, and Jaehee only. Her heart thumped so fast at the thought.
☕️ It made her realize that in fact, yes she did care. She did care if you got married to her, and she had exactly wanted to start a family of her own with you. And when she looked at your twinkling eyes as you watched your friend. She just knew you were the one. (◡ω◡✿)
🎤 Hyun/Zen🎤
🎤 Like Yoosung, Zen just knew you were the one. When you first joined the RFA his lighthearted flirts may have just been a simple interest towards you. But as time went on he was so curious about you. You were always patient and kind hearted. You gave him so much support, and he saw that. You were the only one to know his inner scars, the pain he had never told anyone before. Even with the RFA members he’d spent years with, you were the first he told. You felt the same, and it was like you were both meant for each other.
🎤 However, it had never crossed his mind to be married with you. It wasn’t because he didn’t love you though, it was because he had never thought about it. He was always just focused on you, like Jaehee he just lived in the moment, treasuring every second he got with you.
🎤 It wasn’t until one day you had been over at his house. You both drank until your heart desires. Soon you became drunk and started feeling light headed before collapsing on Zen. He sweetly smiles as he helps you sit back up before kneeling in front of you. He places his hand against your cheeks, “Are you sleepy?” You nod, still drunk. He blushes as he quietly mutters ‘cute’. He helps you walk to the bathroom as he guides you to brush your teeth. Half awake with the help of his hands you’re able to use the spare toothbrush he had kept.
🎤 He places you in his bed and lays down on the floor right next to the bed. He tries to fall asleep but every 10 minutes he’s awakened with the sound of a loud crash. He feels something heavy on him as he notices that you keep falling out of bed into his warmth. How’d you manage to fall out of his king sized bed every time? You’d whisper to him about how you wanted to feel his warmth. He had to calm his inner beast several times after hearing that. After it happened over and over again he was not having it.
🎤 He laid you down on his bed again but this time he got in with you. He spooned you with his arms around you. You finally stopped wriggling and stayed to fall asleep. The next morning he jumps up to see your adorable sleeping face first thing in the morning.
🎤 He blushes seeing you in his bed, sleeping so soundly, not even a earthquake would wake you up. His mornings have always been boring, he got up and everyday it was always lonely and empty in his apartment. Then having to wake up by you he felt something. He felt so warm and relaxed. He realized how much he had wanted you to be the one to wake up with every morning. He just instantly knew you were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. (◡△◡✿)
♛ Jumin ♛
♛ After everything you both had gone through, Jumin just gradually came to know he wanted you to be the one he would be with. Nobody else but only you, could ever fill that desire of his.
♛ The small things you would do for him, or the small things you would say to him, they just all piled up into an emotion he was unaware of, love. Even after marrying you so soon he never stops finding even more reasons to love you.
♛ There had been one day when the two of you had been visiting Jaehee at her café. The place was so busy Jaehee didn’t even notice the two of you come in. Jumin hated how the place was so loud and cramped, but you’d begged for the two of you to come and if you wanted or needed something he would do anything to get it for you, so here the both of you were.
♛ “Sweetie what should we get? I came here with Saeyoung last week, everything tastes so good!” You lean over to him as you share a menu with him to look at the category of appetizing drinks and desserts on the list.
♛ “You came here with Saeyoung? You could’ve always brought me-” You place the menu down before crossing your arms, “That’s not important right now!” You giggle as you hold the menu back up to continue looking for what to eat.
♛ Suddenly, a child with a tray of drinks in her hands accidentally trips spilling the liquid all over your black pencil dress. Jumin is in a hurry to help you get napkins for you, he doesn’t want you to catch a cold.
♛ Yet, you give him a quick smile before proceeding to crouch on the floor to make sure the child is okay. Jumin’s angry at the situation but he would never be angry at the child, he knew it was an accident. He crouched next to you as he kept a arm around your shoulder. You help the child up as you say, “Are you okay, little one?” The child nods with a apologetic look. You assure her it’s okay and she returns to her parents. They apologize to you as they are in panic not knowing what to do before telling them you’re fine. He’s surprised at how good you’re with kids. It makes him wonder what’d be like to have a child with you. Especially one that resembled you.
♛ “We can come back in the future, let’s get you some new clothes darling.” You nod as you both leave after waving at Jaehee who finally noticed you two when the child spilled her drink on you. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
👓 Saeyoung 👓
👓 Saeyoung became more busy by day, he was tasked in a pile of work but weirdly, you felt like he was just overworking himself in a excuse to push you away. With the help of Saeran and Vanderwood you successfully took Saeyoung out with you to a park for a date.
👓When you got there, the fresh smell of flowers were the first thing you noticed. There were not a lot of people, but it was better this way. You were also glad you wore jeans because the grass was untrimmed it looked like a jungle.
👓 You laid down on the grass near a river as he reluctantly followed you and sat down. It was quiet for a while before you pointed out at the clouds that had funny shapes. You pointed one particular cloud out implying they looked like Saeyoung glasses. He chuckled a little before noticing it. He looked away embarrassed as he tried to act like he did not just laugh.
👓 You laugh...a little too loud it makes him refuse to look at you. You pout as you push his shoulders to make him lay down. You smile a little mischievously as you block his view from the sky. You place a small peck on his lips and holds his chin, “I know what you’re afraid of, but I won’t leave. I’m here to stay, unless you continue pushing me away. Or... is that not why you’re avoiding me? Have you...lost interest in me?”
👓 His eyes widen at your words as he furiously pushes you to switch positions. Now he’s on top of you. “No! That’s... that’s not true. I love you. I’ve always wanted you to be my little 606 from day one till the day death would do us apart.”
👓 “Then you need to show me that. You need to stop pushing me away because that will do us no good. Cause...I’ll always be here for you and you will always be here for me in the end.” He nods with a grin ear to ear before leaning in to kiss you. (◕‿-)
🌚 Saeran 🌚
🌚 Let’s be honest, Saeran just knew you were the one when you showed him love and sincerely cared for him. But if there was one thing stopping the both of you from happiness, it was that he kept pushing you away like Saeyoung because he thought he wasn’t good enough for you. He thought you deserved so much more than a “mess” like him. But you knew that wasn’t true. He was more than what you wanted. He just didn’t have the confidence to see it though.
🌚 It was another chilly day, the house felt so hard to breathe in. Maybe it was because of the rain that came overnight, or the silent treatment and cold shoulder Saeran gave you. Saeran had been in the bathroom for so long it had started to make you worry.
🌚 “Saeran? You okay darling?” You knock on the door, but you don’t want to barge in because you know he’s having a hard time. You want to respect that and give him space. He yells back at you, “JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! UGH...” You hear his groan at the end and feel something is terribly wrong.
🌚 You rush in and thankfully the door is not locked. You see him on the floor with a razor in his hands. His arm is bleeding and you fall weak on the floor in front of him. You hold his hand gently before hurriedly trying to get napkins only to end up ripping them by how quickly you are trying to rip them. You continue to sob as Saeran sits not knowing what to do. He instantly feels bad, he wouldn’t have done it if he knew it would hurt you this much. He knew you were always usually a happy person. And you rarely cried. But for you to be crying it meant that you were painfully sad.
🌚 You press down on the wound to stop the bleeding. You place your other hand against his cheeks as you cry out, Saeyoung rushes in with Vanderwood. They immediately take Saeran to treat his wounds. It takes a bit but after noticing the therapy sessions Saeran went to weren’t helping him he stayed home with you. At first everyone worried because he was so clingy to be with you, he wouldn’t even let you go anywhere.
🌚 Later, that got better when he came to realize that he didn’t need to change for him to deserve you because you always reminded him that he was already perfect. \m/(>.<)\m/
♧ Jihyun ♧ (In reference to his song “The Compass” ●´ω`● )
♧ It was the day before V would leave to travel around the world so he could learn to love himself before rushing into another relationship with you. You wanted to give him something before you left so you went over to his house. You ringed the doorbell but there was no answer. You found it strange because Jumin had told you Jihyun would be home. Worried, you peak in the window. Yes its kind of creepy but for the sake of this headcanon... You see that he’s home but he’s going over his pictures with Rika, pictures he’d taken of Rika, and her belongings. A unknown wave of emotions rushed over you. Why were you crying? You knew that what Rika and he had was just obsession not true love. But you still understood that he needed to recover and forget about Rika. So... why were you were crying? You calmed yourself down reminding yourself that you needed to give him time to heal.
♧ You look up when you notice Jihyun, he’s crouching down in front of you, a hand on your shoulder with a concerned face. “Mc? What’s wrong? I didn’t know you were coming. Sorry for leaving you out here in the cold. Since when were you here?” You are in a hurry to wipe your tears as you refuse to look at his eyes your gaze somehow ends up on the box of Rika’s belongings.
♧ He glances down at the box before looking back up at you with a smile. He places the box down as he places his hands on your cheeks, “I’m sorry I never made it clear to you. I don’t love her. In fact I never did and I only realize it now with your help.” You place your hands on top of his as you feel how cold they are. “I didn’t mean to stare...sorry.”
♧ He shakes his head, “Please. Don’t apologize.” He soon then looks down at his wrist watch, “Ah...my cab will be coming soon. It would break my heart to leave you here in tears...” Before he says more, you cut him off. “It’s fine, I only came to give you this.” You hand him a small brooch shaped as a sun. You smile, “To remind you, that you're like the sun.”
♧ He stares at you baffled for a minute, before he returns a sweet smile, “Thank you. Ah, that reminds me...I also have something to give you.” He rummages through his pocket to take out a small compass. “Please see it when I leave. Oh, sorry. Of course you could see it right now...but that would rather be...embarrassing. So please, I would appreciate it for you to read it when I’m gone.” You nod and he smiles to pick up Rika’s belongings. “I’m going to leave this at where it should go. It would do no good for me to keep it.” You don’t quite know where he’s exactly bringing the box. But regardless, you nod as he walks you back home. He promises you that he will often call and text you as before he leaves for his cab.
♧ When you’re back on your bed after a warm bath, you fiddle with V’s gift before opening it. It’s a vintage compass with a small sun in the East heading West. You find a note with it and it says, “The sun always sets in the West. In the West, you’ve always waited for me. You were always the one for me.”
HBADBJADGADBJAB KILL ME V’s is so cringe...T.T Please listen to his song “The Compass” if you want to understand it better because I suck at explaining...heh...
#mysme headcanons#mysme ray#mysme v#Mysme#mysme 707#mysme saeyoung#mysme luciel#mysme Jihyun#mysme hyun#mysme hyun ryu#mysme jumin#mysme unknown#mysme zen#mysme yoosung#mystic messenger headcanons#mystic messenger fanfic
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I forgot to send on my voting story. Ok so my brother and I both got mail in ballots, and let me tell you how we both forgot to mail it in so we just thought to bring them to our voting location. The lady there kinda yelled at us? She was confused and didn't know how to go about it. And honestly I just took it because we were the idiots who didn't mail in our ballots. We had to rip them up and they just us new ones to fill out in person and submit. Not exciting, but a story for void snippet. 👀
Anonymous said: Hi!! I'm so excited for void! I voted today around 30 minutes before the polls closed in my neighborhood because I had to wait for my dad and brother to get home from work since they wanted to go all together hehe. It was a pretty fast process! We just pressed buttons on screens (compared to last election where we had to bubble in everything by hand) plus, I got to keep the stylus that they gave us and it works on phones too! 🥰🥰 Thank you! I love your writing so much 💜💜💜
Anonymous said: I did mine through mail me and my husband did and we went to the post office a little while back and then he took us on a nice little date afterward and we got ice cream! Also I love void💖 keep up the good work
Anonymous said: VOTES FOR VOID??? I love democracy and I love VOID! So since May I've (temporarily) moved back home from New York to Indiana RE: covid; I've voted absentee for the both the primaries and presidential election (I'm still in IN rn...blah). I voted early and mailed in my ballot for the presidential election (about 3 weeks ago). Made sure my family was voting (brother mailed it in, mom dropped off a ballot, and dad did early voting) and encourage them to put up a Biden sign in our yard <3
Anonymous said: HI BEE! I ALSO VOTED TODAY! IM 21 SO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME VOTING FOR THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION (my 18th bday didnt make the cutoff since im a december bday) im so happy to have done my part! I made sure to study up on the judges and policies and everything! Luckily the polling place didn't have a line so i was able to get in, get my ballot, and fill it in right away! I even dragged my mom and cousin to come with me. I made a joke on snapchat to encourage my friends to vote too. It was a pic of my "i voted" sticker with a caption saying "omg youre so sexy when you vote aHaha" -🦙
Anonymous said: this is my first time doing this so, so i hope i’m sending this correctly! i voted early in late september by mail! i live in a swing state, so it’s really important for me to vote and not waste time!! bc of my age, this is my first time voting so i’m really nervous 😅
Anonymous said: I voted by email! I'm overseas so I wasn't sure if my ballot would actually make it through in time, so I decided to go electronically. Had to sign a waiver saying I understand that my vote won't be anonymous but I haven't been given a reason to suspect voter suppression/fraud in my state, so I'm happy I think...!
Anonymous said: hi, i voted early on oct 24th. my absentee ballot didn't come in, so i had to travel back home to vote (~3 hour drive). when we got there, there was a ton of people outside the polling place, but no lines, so i was in and out pretty quick. it was my first time voting, so i had all the candidates i was voting for written down on a tiny receipt so i wouldn't forget 😅. my mom was with me, so she voted too. took a pic with my sticker (mask on for extra covid-ness) and went home. drove back the next afternoon!
whippedforkook said: Hi Bee. 💕 I voted in early October - nearly a month ago! 😱 It’s been really weird with all the lead up to the election because it felt like it should have been done once I cast my ballot! A lot of my friends have volunteered to get out the vote: writing postcards to voters, texting, phone banking, working the polls, curing ballots. I didn’t volunteer at all this year, but I hope that all of my friends’ hard work and everyone else’s is enough. I’m also hoping and praying that I will be in a better place mentally for 2022 so that I too can volunteer. Our work starts with 2020 not ends. 💕 Wishing you well. ���
begineuphoria said: I went and voted last Friday as it was our last early voting day. No way was I going to wait until today with the crowds of people in my area that still act as if masks are somehow infringing on their rights. 🙄 It was a rather normal experience for the most part. Other than having to use a coffee stir stick to press the buttons on the machine to vote. In and out within five minutes.
Anonymous said: I voted down the street at this pretty park this morning. I got up at 5:30 and it was freezing. Luckily I wore like 30 layers and stood outside for 2 hours. Some nasty orange man supporters were rude but everyone else was pretty nice. A really cute older couple was playing soccer with pine cones and kicked it towards me to play too. Not the worst time tbh.
Anonymous said: Did mail-in voting in California! Extremely exhausting and took forever to research all the propositions - they are notoriously tricky in hiding their flaws and one side tends to outrageously outspend the other. But in the end I felt really good about my research and decisions! No need for you to post a snippet for this story - would like to save that to read sometime in the future ;) Thank you so much for doing this!
joonsgotthejuice said: Votes for void??? I am here! I went last Thursday and it was chaotic bc I kept going past the poll place but the line was soooo long so my mom called me and woke me up like "its pouring rain and the line is super short get up I'm gonna pick you up" so thats the story of how I got dressed in 5 minutes and dragged my ass to vote in the rain <3
Anonymous said: i voted early on thursday it was cold and rainy but i went in the late afternoon and thankfully the only waiting i did was a few minutes for an elevator i got very lucky and while waiting for the results is awful the relief that came from voting in general was just great
Anonymous said: Wheeew the polls just closed and I finally got to cast my ballot yayyy ( I was the one working the polls from earlier) it’s been a really really long day and we actually had surprisingly good turnout. I saw a woman try to vote for someone else who claimed to be “helping” and I saw a woman who I’m pretty sure was on some typa something 👀 Overall though I really I’m really thankful for people like you who encouraged people to get out and vote. I hope the odds are in our favor❤️🤞🏼
chelsea-chee said: Hello Bee! Today surprisingly my elderly father wanted to vote so I brought him out with me. He only cared about voting for Biden, which meant I got to help decide who he should vote for with the rest of the candidates and amendments! Say hello to baby bee for me as well! 💖
Anonymous said: Okay I gonna got a chance to vote today and the process wasn’t that bad actually. I went in just now and it wasn’t that busy( thankfully) so no lines. I’m from Texas and it’s gonna be almost impossible to turn this state blue, but every vote counts! I love that you are getting people to vote and also sharing your experiences as well!
owl-orgy said: Dropped off my mail in ballot at a polling location! I originally wanted to vote early in person because I was worried my signature wouldn’t match closely enough but ended up just turning it in and double checked today to make it said “ballot accepted and counted”!
Anonymous said: I voted in person this afternoon, better late than never I guess. I was gonna go last week but then I got cramps from hell. There was no one in line in front of me, I think my county early voted because it was packed everyday the last few weeks
Anonymous said: I voted early a couple weeks ago. Exciting thing though that did happen was I got both my parents to vote for their first time ever.
Anonymous said: I had a mail in vote. So, I filled it out and dropped it in at the ballot box at my library. (I also checked out books for the first time in years, so I had fun!)
bubblyjiminnie said: I literally just finished voting. Lucky for me, the line and wait wasn’t very long, and it was a nice enough day that the short amount of time I had to spend in line outside of the building wasn’t too bad. My social anxiety when it comes to stuff like this tends to be high but that’s what I get for waiting until Election Day instead of going the mail in route. This was only my second time voting, but I’m glad that I did 😊
Anonymous said: I turned my ballot in last week :) I’m not a big fan of crowds and I hate make spur of the moment choices but despite that the first time I was able to vote back in 08 my Mom pressured me into voting in person because “you’d have to experience it at least once in our life”. And ever since then I comfortably vote by mail. I take my time, do all of my research, listen to music, and best of all don’t have to deal with people.
Anonymous said: here in Washington state it’s super easy to vote. I dropped my ballot off in mid-October and it’s already been accounted for! Mail in voting and drop box voting is fantastic and provides equal opportunity and access. Sad to see some people in red states misinforming Americans about it! We also have a referendum for implementing mandatory sex ed, including teaching respect, empathy and consent as part of the curriculum so I was happy to vote yes on that too!
unionrox006 said: I voted about 2 weeks ago by doing a mail in ballot. The other eligible to vote members of my household did the same. We chose to vote by absentee ballot because both my mom and I have an autoimmune disorder, so we have to be careful going out in the pandemic. Tbh, the ballot layout was a bit confusing at first as was all the paperwork and required IDs and documents. But my dad explained it to me and we got them filled out and mailed off. Kinda mad I didn't get a sticker for it though
bluetostone said: Love this and so excited for the next chp of void! I early voted a few weeks ago and because I live in a pretty rural county I was in and out of my polling place in a few minutes. No sticker though 😢. I live in a swing state so it could go either way in terms of delegates. Just praying everyone is safe tonight as the results roll in...though, won't we not know for sure for a couple of days or weeks?
Anonymous said: My mom, sister, and I received our early voting ballots a while ago and I took the longest to fill mine out because it was making me anxious :,( but I did return it before it was due. I checked our ballot statuses and mine and my moms were accepted but my sister’s said they hadn’t received hers back. Then she got another ballot so she filled that one out too and I took it yesterday 👍👍 I think she got two because she changed her address late so they sent two?
vixsynsblog said: Non-interesting voter story: I'm paranoid and live in a highly divided area, so I filed mail-in ASAP, mailed it a few days after cause neighbors are nosy and don't understand boundaries. Was able to track my ballot through my credit company, which was nice. Only thing I was missing was my sticker. Never got one✊😔. So I had to improvise and write it in pen on my disposable mask. I'm working all this week so if riots break out from either side, I'll be at work. Prayers for the safety of others🙏
______
Waaah!!! Thank you all for voting!! You are all my heroes. I am so grateful and proud of you. I’m sorry I ran out of time to respond to you individually. I’m going to drop two big scenes from Chapter 7 in gratitude (one of which will be familiar to my patrons and one won’t). I’m hopeful I will have the whole next chapter out very soon. Love you all!
Void spoilers below the cut.
When you wake up in the morning, there are still no signed HR forms in your messages. Had you been a fool to think they were interested? How much time does it take to decide such a thing? Perhaps just by putting the idea out there explicitly, it had lost all of its taboo appeal.
There is a calendar reminder waiting for you: Today is chili pepper pollinating day. At least this gives you an excuse to talk to Hoseok.
You find the science officer in the lab as always, sitting with his knee up against his chest. Hoseok doesn’t look well. He’s got dark circles under his eyes.
“Hey, um…” You shuffle your feet. Want to fuck me? No wait…“You don’t look good. Were you here all night?” you ask.
He blinks at you, bleary-eyed. “Um, was I? Yeah.. I suppose. Lost track of time.” He rubs his eyes, before looking you up and down, then casting his gaze back to the floor.
All you want to do is ask about the forms. Or the meeting. Or what he thinks of you now. But you don’t. “I need to pollinate the chili peppers today.” Usually Hoseok is the person who assists with that. “But I can get one of the other guys to do it if you need the sleep.”
“No!” Hoseok lurches forward, standing up a bit to rapidly and needing to put his hand back on the bench to steady himself. “I mean, I’m fine.”
You should disgaree with him. He is exhausted. But you’d like more time to talk to him.
Pollinating the chili peppers is both time-sensitive and time-consuming, hence why it took two of you to get the job done. There were no insects on your ship to do the job for you and if they didn’t get pollinated, they wouldn’t bear any fruit. Your chili peppers were your favorite crop. Not only a vital source of Vitamin C, but all your food benefitted from having a bit of spice added to it.
You and Hoseok head for the greenhouse together. The intital set-up gives you something to talk about in the beginning. Hoseok gathers the pollen from one flower onto a paintbrush, then hands it over to you to paint onto the stigmas of each little flower on the next plant in the line.
Slowly the conversation dries up as you fall into a silent rhythm. Other than just enjoying the chili peppers, you must admit that this was one of your favorite tasks on the ship because of the high likelihood that the two of you would brush hands peridically. Always gave you butterflies. But today he seems extra intent on keeping his distance from you. Was he disgusted by you now? His hands are trembling.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
His hand twitches so hard that a little rain of yellow pollen cascades onto the floor. He curses in frustration before turning to face you. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Um, yes, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“This, um, plan of yours…” he gestures to the vague tension in the air. “It doesn’t feel like you.”
“I’m trying to save the mission. That has always been my top priority.”
“Yeah, I’m still not clear on how this benefits the mission.”
“Yoongi said…” you start to say, but are cut off my Hoseok’s derisive snort.
“Look, if you’re in love with Yoongi, just go date him, okay? Don’t feel obligated to include the rest of us out of pity.”
You frown. “I’m not… I’m not in love with him. It’s just sex. Just biology.”
“This isn’t you!” Hoseok argues back. “You hated the idea of anyone of us ever treating you that way. And now you just want all of us to… to… use you like that?” He splutters out the end of the sentence.
“No one is using me! This is my plan! I’m in charge!”
He sighs. “Well, I can’t be a part of it. Excuse me.”
______
Taehyung finds you in the gym. It’s good to see him up and about, even if his arm is still in a sling.
“Hey, so I need to talk to you about this, um, ape sex thing.” He fishes awkwardly into his pockets and pulls out his tablet. Maybe Jimin was right. Is Taehyung going to be the first to take you up on your offer?
You pause your jog on the elliptical machine. You wish you weren’t so sweaty and gross for this conversation. Taehyung is such an intimidatingly attractive man with those strong eyebrows and that perfect skin.
Taehyung opens up the tablet and flips to the form. It’s happening. He’s going to sign the form. Shit. Then what will you do? It’s one thing to say you want to have sex with your whole crew, but what if he’s hoping to go right now? You need a shower.
Taehyung has really nice hands. Long strong fingers delicately navigating the touch screen. It seems totally improbable that a man this attractive would be into you, even if you were the only woman in the universe. It just adds to your suspicions that hormones are driving everyone crazy. Perhaps if you slept with him once, he’d lose all interest.
He finds the form and then turns his gaze up to you, staring you down with those eyes. It’s a good thing that Taehyung rarely turns his full gaze on you, because it is almost too much to bear. Shit, is he just going to sign it? Is he waiting for you to give him some sort of signal?
“You can’t do this to Jimin,” he says.
“What?” Not what you were expecting. “Do what to Jimin?”
“This.” He gestures over the HR form. “Signing these forms with everyone. Having sex with everyone. You’re going to destroy Jimin.”
“Jimin’s the one who suggested this whole thing in the first place.” It’s a lie. You know its a lie. Or at least a gross exaggeration. But Jimin was the one who first brought up the idea of sharing. All for the benefit of the man in front of you now.
“No way.” Taehyung scoffs, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. “No way was it Jimin’s idea that you sleep with the whole crew.”
“Well…” You can’t bear his gaze anymore and look down at the floor. “He wanted me to sleep with you.”
That surprises Taehyung. He puts down the tablet. “What? Why would he want that?”
This is awkward. “He, um, thinks you’re in love with me.”
“What?” There is only surprise on Taehyung’s face. It’s actually a relief to see that Taehyung is just as shocked by that idea as you were. “Why does he think that?”
“I don’t know…” You feel kind of dumb now. Of course, Taehyung doesn’t feel that way about you. Look at him. “Cause you told him you were jealous. Cause you can’t stand to be in the same room as us…”
Taehyung bites his lip. “Oh, um, shit, sorry, that’s not what I meant.”
If Taehyung isn’t jealous of Jimin...
“Taehyung…” He looks up, biting his lip. “What did you mean? Who are you jealous of?”
Taehyung’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he reaches for his microphone and mutes it. Out of respect, you mute yours as well. He glances toward the camera in the corner of the room, then stands up and begins unzipping his jumpsuit.
“Um…” You are distracted by the golden arms that peak from either side of the tank top as the zipper reaches his groin. “What are you doing?”
“Need something to block the camera.”
“We have towels,” you mutter. But he’s already stripping out of his shirt. The musculature of his back ripples. He hangs the shirt off of the camera to block the rest of the room from view.
“Yeah, but this way anyone watching will think we’re having sex.” His chest is just as attractive as his back and you flush at the sight of it. Mercifully, he zips back into his jumpsuit as he returns to his position in front of the exercise machine.
“You want them to think we’re having sex?”
“Don’t you? It plays right into your whole save the mission with bonobo sex plan.”
“I suppose.” Though the plan was also supposed to be that there would be no more secrets between the crew. “What plan of yours does it play into?”
“The one where Jimin doesn’t realize I’m in love with him.”
“You’ve never tried to tell him?”
Taehyung laughs wryly and shakes his head. “How would that conversation go? Hey man, I know we’ve known each other for years and I’ve already seen you naked and that you just think of me as a friend, but I’m in love with you. I know that’s awkward but now you have to spend the next twelve years with me, knowing that I’m attracted to you when you don’t feel the same way.” Taehyung sighs. “Doesn’t sound like a good plan to me. If he doesn’t feel the same way, I’ve just ruined the friendship for nothing and then I don’t even have that.”
“Yeah… I get that.” There’s something touching about realizing that Taehyung has been fighting the same battle as you for the last two years.
“I couldn’t tell anyone before launch because what if they wouldn’t let me go then? You know?”
“Yeah, the director wasn’t big on sending anyone who might ‘complicate’ the mission.” The two of you share a sad knowing smile.
“Yeah… And I thought it would be fine, you know? I like women too. I’d just date women until launch and no one would know. I wasn’t planning on falling in love with my roommate.”
“I don’t think any of us really knew what this would be like.”
“I knew it was going to be a problem. I should have pulled out…”
Your mind flashes back to that moment of doubt when Hoseok talked you into still coming on the mission.
“But I couldn’t just let him go off into space without me. Even if he’d never feel the same way, at least he’d still be in my life.”
The emotion in Taehyung’s words makes your eyes begin to mist. “You really do love him.”
“Yeah,” Taehyung sighs again. “But he’s in love with you.”
“Well, he thinks he is.”
“What does that mean?”
“He only feels like that about me cause he thinks I’m the only option.” You wonder if maybe he would feel differently if he knew about Taehyung’s feelings.
Taehyung frowns and shakes his head. “You don’t give him enough credit.”
“Oh come on, you know him. How many women did he date while we were in training?”
“A few…”
“And how many of them was he in love with before he found the next one?”
Taehyung bites his lip. He can’t really argue with that. “So why are you with him then, if you don’t think it’s real?”
You shrug, rubbing your arm. “He wants me. It’s nice to feel wanted, I guess.”
“You know you could have that with any man on this ship right?”
You scoff. “They’re all suffering the same delusion. It’s only-available-vagina syndrome. I just want us all to fuck and get it out in the open. Maybe if we could get it out of our system, they would see I’m nothing special. And then we can get back to the mission.”
Taehyung eyes you up and down. “You don’t give yourself enough credit either.”
You shrug. “You wait and see. Jimin will get bored of me. They all will.”
The two of you both slump backwards in your seats, mulling over your shared woes. Taehyung bends down and picks up the tablet again. “So what should I do with this?”
“Obivously, you don’t have to sign it. I should have realized that not everyone would be interested.”
“Jimin thinks I’m in love with you?”
“Yeah…”
“Is it okay if we let him think that for now? At least until I figure out how to tell him the truth?”
“Okay.”
Taehyung smiles and signs the bottom of the form, then sends it to you. Your phone lights up with a message. “Thank you,” he murmurs before he leaves.
#I'm not going to answer asks about the spoilers right now#because I want people to be able to avoid them until the chapter drops#but that should be sometime in the next week or so#votes for void
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We gonna ignore the fact that ghostie isn’t my main account but 150 :)
-saarah
HAPPY BIRTHDAY @ghostiewriter 🥳🥳🥳 ur old now congratulations. So you though could stump me with this vague prompt “make up your own” IM SORRY OKAY I thought giving something vague for Christmas prompts would make it EASIER. Anywho I have a secret weapon and her name Annie. Big shout out to @yellowlaboratory for turning my traumatic story of puking in a school bathroom during a track meet into a hilarious fic idea; please enjoy this unedited 🙈crack Drabble akdhsjdhsjdh
“You want me to call your priest?”
Track had always been a JJ and Kie thing. In sixth grade she’d decided they need to keep active during the winter and that indoor track would be the perfect way to do it. Not only was it during the months where there was no surfing, but it was a sport she could actually do with her boys. She just needed to convince them to do it. Pope was an immediate no, too much homework and John B was insistent on trying out for the basketball team, his dad used to play or something. Which left JJ, who for whatever reason picked joining track with her over joining basketball with John B. She always figured it was because he thought she needed him more, seeing as John B could make friends with just about anyone. Or maybe she was overthinking it and JJ just thought that track sounded more fun; either way, she’s glad he did.
They had long bus rides together, traveling to the mainland so they could meet up with other schools, spend the whole ride there laughing and joking and talking about nothing in particular. She snuck extra snacks into her lunch box so that she could share with JJ, forcing him to eat “healthy shit” like apples and granola bars. (she was quite pleased with herself for that one) They would normally fall asleep on the way back, wake up half on top of each other and not talk about it afterward. She would aggressively snap, “No” when people asked if they like each other and JJ would just grin widely like it was the funniest joke in the world.
He was annoyingly good too, at pretty much everything. If the coaches were down a person they could just throw JJ into that event with a little bit of practice and chances are he would at least place. He was mainly a sprinter and a jumper though, same as Kie. A lot of her favorite memories came from the three years they ran track together. In eighth grade however, things got more complicated because suddenly Kie also had to deal with her period.
She wasn’t one to let that hold her back, but long track meets after school definitely made things more difficult, but it was manageable. Until of course, it wasn’t, which long story short, led to Kie being doubled over on the gross floor of another school's bathroom feeling like someone was digging a knife through her lower abdomen and hoping she doesn’t start puking again. She wasn’t sure how long it took for JJ to find her, walking with his hands over his eyes, judging by the sound of him running into a stall door.
“Yo Kie, you in here?”
“Down here,” she groaned from her spot on the floor not wanting to shift from her position to face, any movement at all made her feel nauseous.
His eyes widened as he crouched down beside her, “Wow, shit. You okay?”
“Do I really have to answer that question?” She muttered with an eye roll, but even that felt weak.
“Right sorry. So did you like catch a bug or somethin?” He asked, backing away from her like she might be contagious.
The last thing Kiara felt like doing at the time was explaining the nuisances of period cramps to a thirteen year old boy so she just muttered, “girl stuff,” and the movement was enough to have her heaving into the toilet again.
“Holy shit,” JJ muttered softly, sounded shocked for reasons Kiara was in too much pain to care about.
“Are you pregnant?”
Kiara choked on her puke, managed to turn her head enough to face him.
“What?”
JJ ran a hand through his hair anxiously, not even seeming to have heard her, talking mostly to himself as he mumbled, “I’m not ready to be a dad.”
“We haven’t slept together you idiot.”
JJ’s went wide with realization. “You slept with someone else,” he exclaimed with what almost sounded like betrayal in his voice.
Kiara didn’t have time to respond before the aggravation at his absolute idiocy had her hanging over the toilet boil again. JJ shifted down so he was squatted beside her, held her hair back as he rambled on.
“So who's is it? No- no you don’t have to tell me that, I don’t even care who’s sperm it is I’m here for you Kie. He’ll be like my kid anyway. Or she. Duh.”
Kiara squeezed her eyes shut in disbelief, didn’t have the energy to turn her head to him as she hissed out, “JJ.”
He raised his hands in surrender, “Okay, okay, I get it, too much,” then added hopefully “I'll still be uncle JJ though right?”
“It’s no one's sperm you dipshit!” She cried, momentarily forgetting the pain in her abdomen as she turned to him.
JJ just blinked at her for a few seconds before responding with a dramatic gasp, a small spark in his eyes as he whispered, “Virgin Mary?”
Kiara groaned in disbelief, pulled her arms up to the toilet boil and rested her head on them, too exasusted to care about the unsanitariness of the situation.
“Does this mean I’m gonna be Jesus’ uncle?”
“JJ if you don’t shut the fuck up right now the next time I puke it’s gonna be on you.”
He backed up immediately, “okay okay point taken. I mean come on that one was kinda funny though.”
She didn’t look up, but she could easily picture the smirk on his face.
“Can you please do something helpful and go call my dad? I left my phone in my bag.”
JJ perked up at that, jumping to his feet. “Right, I’ll be right back, I’ll let the coaches know you’re puking too. Oh and do you want a water? Gatorade? Maybe Pepsi?”
“Water’s good.”
He was sprinting away before she could say thank you. Kie curled up on the floor, giving about zero shits about how dirty it was, anything to make her stomach hurt a little bit less.
JJ returned a few minutes later with water and her phone in hand. Announced, “Kie I can’t find your dad’s contact,” as he handed her the water.
She groaned inwardly for thinking she was funny when she made her dad’s name in her phone.
“Oh uh call Father Mike.”
JJ looked up at that. “You want me to call your priest?”
“No that’s my dad,” she responded with a sigh.
“Your dad’s a priest?”
She sat up and opened her mouth to respond but the movement sent another wave of nausea over her and she found herself back above the toilet boil.
“Should I start confessing my sins before or after you finish puking?”
Kiara fixes him with a glare as she pulls away. “It’s a joke. He put his dad in his phone as Father Joe so I put him in as Father Mike. It’s like imagine there was a comma, like ‘Father, Mike’.”
JJ furrowed his eyebrows as he considered that beforing saying. “You really should add the comma. It’s very misleading.”
“Can you just call him?” She asked, her voice almost pleading at this point.
JJ’s joking tone shifted at that, “right. Yeah of course.”
After that she felt well enough to let JJ help her back to their teams set up in the track building, where she could lie down on blankets instead of a cold floor. JJ still had races and events to do, but he ran back to check on her after every one and each time she would assure him that she was fine and that she didn't need a babysitter, but secretly appreciated how concerned he was. And in hindsight, the Jesus jokes were kinda funny, at least Pope and John B thought they were.
#jiara#jiara Drabble#prompt#jiara prompt#HAPPY BIRTHDAY NESSIE#CONGRATS UR OLD#GO HAVE A DRINK FOR ME#Saarah is an absolute powerhouse#the talent#the absolute inhuman speed#and a great friend#💖💖💖#also yes this actually happened#but my friend wasn’t a cute blond and she did not think I was pregnant lol
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THIS THE DUMBEST MF REQUEST U EVER HEARD BUT IM ON MY PERIOD AND I HAVE TO TAKE MEDS BC CHRONIC CRAMPS ANS ITS GIT SO MUCH MF CAFFIENE AND IM FUCKING TRIPPING RN AND FOR SOME DUMBASS REASON I NEED DIN X READER WHERE READER TAKES MEDS AND GOES BATSHIT CRAZY LITERALLY IM SHAKING SO MUCH WOEOWOW SORRY THIS IS ACTUALLY SOME TH IFN IM ASKING FOR YOURE GRET!!
Hi friend, I hope you’re okay now and feeling better! Din blurb? Din blurb. Enjoy! Thank you @rosetophighlander for providing some much needed inspo!
Mandalorian Masterlist
»»————- ♡ ————-««
When it came to your least favorite time of the month, you were normally able to handle it...for the most part. It’d been a routine that you’d been going through for what seemed like eons, but some months were worse than others. This was one of those times; not just one of those times, but also the first time you’d had this much pain around your Mandalorian companion.
The morning had gone fairly well, you’d made sure to stay hydrated and eaten a decent breakfast, along with your small green friend, but why the time the afternoon started, your insides were in utter turmoil. You thought you were doing a fairly good job of keeping a neutral face and hiding it. Until...
“What’s wrong?” Din’s gaze was trained on as you sat in the co-pilot’s seat, hand on your stomach and a contorted look on your face. So much for handling it well...but it was hard when it felt like your innards were being eaten.
“N-nothing,” you lied, biting the inside of your cheek as another wave of cramps rolled over you. You should have known better than to lie to him. He was a trained bounty hunter, years of practice had made it easy for him to read just about anyone.
“Why are you lying?” he asked and you just sigh and let your head flop to the side, letting out an exasperation groan.
“Period,” you finally said through gritted teeth as you pointedly avoided looking at him, “I’m on my period.”
“Oh,” he sounded almost nervous but just awkwardly cleared his throat. He wasn’t inept when it came to a woman’s body, but it had been some time since he’d experienced being with a woman during her time of the month. You just nodded and a waved a hand in his general direction, “is there...”
“No,” you said quietly, hoping that if you remained seated and still that the pain would dull and pass quickly. Din stood up after a few more moments of watching you silently struggled with the waves of pain, disappearing without a word. Maybe you’d scared him off?
But no - he was back within a few minutes, handing you a big glass of water, followed by a few pills that you didn’t recognize. You didn’t even bother to ask what they were, or what their origins were, but you quickly swallowed them and down the glass of water.
“That should help,” he said softly and you nodded, giving him a thankful smile, “maybe you should...take a nap.”
“I’m not tired though,” you insisted, knowing the tiredness that always accompanied this time of month could come later in the afternoon. It always did, like clockwork.
“You’ll...just trust me,” he insisted, nudging his head in the direction of the your shared sleeping space, “you’ll want to sleep. It might be...just take a nap.”
“Oh...kay,” you shrugged and decided to oblige him, slowly clambering out of spot and heading for your cot. You might have been going crazy...but did you already feel better? Din wasn’t normally so cryptic or weird, but you weren’t to question him. Besides, maybe a nap would be nice...
»»————- ♡ ————-««
Once you’d slipped into your cot, it took only a few minutes until you gave into the soft pull of sleep. If you’d been awake, it would have surprised you, but instead you were quickly snoring...and loudly.
But then...almost as quickly as you feel asleep, you were wide awake again. Your eyes snapped open as you felt a rush of energy running through your veins...you felt more awake than you possibly ever had. But your pain was gone, instead you felt nothing but pure adrenaline pumping through your body.
“Din,” you almost shouted, as you jumped up and ran to find him. When you didn’t spot him anywhere on your floor, you climbed up the cockpit and found him there, playing with the Child, “Din!”
A small, quiet oh no spilled from his lips as you almost barreled him over in your attempt to sit down in your normal spot. He had hoped this wouldn’t happen, it was a risk he was taking...but alas. Your eyes were wide as you sat down and stared at him, speaking so fast that he wasn’t able to catch more than a word here and there. Part of him wondered if you were even speaking Basic anymore.
“andidon’tevenknowwhatyougavemebutifeelsoalive,” you jumped up again, peeking outside, studying the dying light of day. Maybe you could go out and explore for a awhile. Just as you started walking off again, Din grabbed your arm and keep you from walking away, “what?”
“I think you need to stay inside and sit with me,” he felt bad that you’d had such a reaction to the pills he gave you, but couldn’t deny that he was little amuse, “it’ll pass soon, but I need to keep an eye on you to make sure you don’t hurt yourself.”
“I’ll be fine,” you insisted, bouncing on your heels as he kept you restrained, “I just want to go and explore!”
“Cyare...no, just say with me please,” he insisted softly, “but are you...feeling better?”
“There’s no pain,” you promised, “I just feel so...alive! Have you ever heard colors before? I’m pretty sure I’m can hear them!”
“Kriff,” he sighed lightly to himself.
“What even was that stuff?!” you asked as you pulled free from his hold on you and started to dance around the open space, “I love it! I feel so alive!”
“Painkillers,” he admitted honestly, letting the Child down to try and get you in his arms again so you wouldn’t hurt anyone...namely yourself, “apparently much more potent for someone of your size.”
“We should get more of that stuff! We should go to the market and buy some,” you grabbed his hand and started to dance with him, finding it hard to get the large man to move along with you, “you should take some too! Maker, can you imagine how much we could if we don’t have to sleep and we just play?!”
“You can’t buy this stuff at the market,” in order to give you some reprieve, he gave in and danced with you, letting you guide him around the open space.
“Where then!? We have to go!”
“It’s not exactly...legal,” he confessed the last part quietly, but you were so hyper-aware of everything that you picked up on it. You shrugged it off regardless, “I probably shouldn’t have given it you. I should have known better...”
“No, this is great,” you insisted, stopping and put your hands on his shoulders, “I’ve never felt so...amazing! I feel like I can do anything!”
“Yeah...that’s one of the effects,” he cursed himself silently. He’d just wanted help you and alleviate your pain, instead he’d created a whole different type of problem, “cyare, why don’t you come with me and we can go lie down.”
“But I don’t wanna,” you pouted at him, but he just hung his head, “I just wanna go outside and be with you!”
The last part tugged on his heartstrings a little bit, and while he was glad you weren’t in pain, he didn’t mean to induce all of this either. At least this way you were enjoying yourself; the grin on your face hadn’t faltered once. He weighed his options for a moment before nodding lightly, “alright. We’ll go outside and explore for a little bit, but if and when you start to feel sleepy or anything else, you let me know, yes?”
“Duh,” you promised him, your eyes glowing with excitement as you leaned up and pressed a kiss to his helmet, where his cheek would be, “we’re gonna have so much fun!”
You leaned down and picked up the Child, carefully as you could in your current state, and Din stopped breathing for a moment. He knew you’d never do anything to hurt him, but in your haze, he was mildly concerned. But you were still so gentle with him, making sure he held tightly against your chest before descending the latter to go downstairs.
“Come on, slow poke!” you called to him as he listened to your footsteps running out of the ship. He sighed lightly, almost in amusement as he quickly followed after you.
He had a feeling you weren’t going to be the only exhausted by the time you were coming down from your high. At least he knew better for next time: half dose...or perhaps something more legal...either way, he vowed to make sure to take care of you.
#din djarin x you#din djarin x reader#din djarin#the Mandalorian#the mandalorian x reader#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader
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OD'd (All American)
Y/N loses all hope in her life and tries to commit suicide, but her ex boyfriend, Sam, finds her in time //trigger warning: attempted suicide, substance abuse
part 2 of Leave Us Alone
I slowly started to zone back into reality and when I do, I realize that there was a beer in my hand and a whole lot more around me. My eyes sting from the lack of blinking I have been doing. I don't even know how long I was zoned out for. I glance at the clock and it read 12 pm. Sam was probably working right about now.
Its been two weeks since I left Crenshaw, but it felt like two years. Alcohol really has a paradoxical effect. The days blur together, but the overall time moves so slow.
I'm glad that I at least have Sam. Sam understands better than anyone what it means to suffer in silence because you don't want everyone all in your business. He's worried about me because he knows how I am when I drink.
He doesn't want me to fall down the same hole that I left San Francisco to get out of. But truth be told, I never really got out of the hole.
And since we're telling the truth, I came back to San Francisco because I felt terrified of being alone. Even when I had my biological parents that would beat the shit out of me, I still had someone. I was never really alone until now, and I'm absolutely terrified.. Im not reliable enough to be independent.
I was never thrown into the deep end and told to swim. I had a rough start but after that, I was pampered by the James family.
I never truly been alone before, and I don't know what to do. I stand up from the couch and decided to help clean up the empty beer bottles all over the floor and couch.
Guilt builds up in my chest as I think about how i just showed up in Sam's life and took it off its orbit. I tend to do that to everyone nowadays...
Once I finished cleaning up the empty beer bottles, I walk into the bathroom and decided to take my shower. I haven't showered in days, and I wouldn't have eaten either if Sam didn't force feed me.
I grab some of Sam's boxers and a sports bra. I let the water run over my hand before I start the shower and hop in.
My body gently shakes under the hot water and I cover my face with my hands so I could breathe. I nearly choke on the thick steam and started to cough a little. I lower the temperature of the water and crouch down on the cold bathroom floor.
How do I get out of this? Or better yet, where do I go from this? I'm slowly reaching rock bottom and I stopped trying to fight it. Im done fighting. The people that I was fighting my inner demons for, abandoned me.
The shower water washes away my tears and my lungs don't even sting anymore when I cry. I just blink to let the tears out and that's it. I stand up to wash my body and hair.
I finally turn off the shower and wrap a towel around my body as I step out of the shower. The steam was so thick that I could barely see what was in front of me. I click on the fan to circulate the air out and in doing so, I stub my toe on the bottom of the toliet.
And i could have sworn that I heard a crack. Just great. I wanted to do something for myself, I end up getting hurt because of it.
I open up the mirror in search for a bandage wrap, and instead, I saw a bottle of Naproxen staring right back at me. I take it into my hands and blink slowly at the label. At least it'll be painless. I dry my body and put on my clothes.
I grab a new beer bottle from the kitchen and take it to my room. More tears leave my eyes as I pour most of the pills of Naproxen into my hand. A cramp of nervousness attacks my stomach but ignore it and toss them into my mouth. I chugged all the beer down with the Naproxen and I just lay down on the bed and wait for it to take its course.
"I'm sorry, Sam."
**
A warm sense of light touches my face. I open my eyes and see the sun sitting proudly in the sky, no clouds in sight. I am sitting in the tall grass of the Savannah went I hear a deep growl. I slowly turn around to see a male lion slowly creeping up.
I glance around frantically for something that I could use as a weapon. When I don't find anything, I stared into the lions eyes as it neared me. Once it gets close enough, he lays down in front of me and rests his head on his paws. I tilt my head to the side and he lifted his head to do the same. "What the hell?"
But shit got even crazier when I hear him say, "Y/N, please don't give up on yourself." "I'm officially going crazy," I say. I feel a sharp pain on my feet and I look down to see a snake biting my foot. I yell out and try to pull the snake off of me, but it wouldn't budge. "Damn it!"
I jolt awake and back pedal as I try to understand where I was."Y/N, Y/N, relax. Its Sam." I slowed my breathing as I look around to see that I was in a hospital. "No," I say to myself. "What the hell were you thinking, Y/N? Naproxen, really?"
I tuck my knees into my chest and that's when I felt another sharp pain in my foot. I since and Sam said, "The doctor said that you have two broken toes. How did that happen?"
I rest my the sides of my face on my knee caps and didn't say a word. "Look, I didn't mean to yell at you. Its just... you scared the hell out of me. You are so lucky that I decided to come home early for lunch." "Why did you?" I ask. "What?"
"Why did you come home early?" "Because I wanted to make sure you were fed." "See? That's why I did it. I'm a burden, Sam! A burden on everyone. You were practically babysitting me."
"You were not a burden for me at all. I remember all of those times that you pulled me off of the floor and made sure I was taken care of when we were younger. I was just returning the favor." "I won't ever forget how much you did for me. And that's why I refused to give up on you like you gave up on yourself." He adds.
He stands up and slides into the spot next to me in the bed. "I got you something," He says as he reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a box and hands it to me. I take it into my hands and open it to see an outline of a lion in gold. "I.. while I was under, I had this dream of a lion. It was super weird though."
"So it is true, people can hear in comas." "What do you mean? I wasn't in a coma." I say. "Yes you were, for two weeks. They put you in a medically enduced coma so your body can recover from what happened." "I can't believe this," "Y/N, I know that you're probably going to hate me for this, but I called them."
"Called who?" I look into his eyes and immediately knew the answer. He took my phone and Grace and the rest of them. They're probably already here.
"Why?" "Because you need help." "They'll just make it worse." "You don't know th-" "Sam, they abandoned me! They made me feel worthless! Why do you think I tried to kill myself!"
A deep cold feeling rushed throughout my body and I sigh deeply. "Y/N, you need help. And clearly you can't help yourself and that's not your fault. My friends went to this one facility that helped them think clearly."
"You want to send me to rehab?" "Beats having you in the ground. You are destined for great things, Y/N. And the greatest of people had their fair share of struggles."
"Those struggles are what made them great. So let this shape you into a strong lion and not a tiny, defenseless ant." He adds. I hear a knock on the door and I looked over at it to see Grace, Spencer and the entire Baker family behind them. "Oh God," "That's my cue to go." "No, please don't leave me."
I hold onto his hand and he held the side of my face to press a long kiss to my forehead. He placed the necklace around my neck and said, "I believe in you." He slid off of the bed and gave me one last glance before leaving the room. And just like that, I was alone once again.
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tl;dr and TW: I had a miscarriage (and an ER visit)
So, I haven’t been on tumblr for a while. Let’s see how long. ...Three and a half months. Basically, I haven’t been on since a little before I found out I was pregnant. See, my birthday was January 28th. My last period had started on New Year’s Day, so I was slated to start again on my birthday, and I just kept thinking, “gosh, I would really like to not be on my period on my birthday!” Well, I got my wish. A few days came and went, and I thought, “okay, I’m pregnant.” This wasn’t an overreaction; I’d never been more than 3 days late in the past few years, and I just... felt it. I took the test, and lo and behold, it was positive. A ‘dye-stealer’, even. (A strong positive, where the positive line ‘steals’ all the dye from the control line.) (I’ve spent a lot of time on pregnancy forums; I’m familiar with a whole new world now.) I was happy. Mostly excited, mostly not scared. My husband was the same. We’d been married for 12 years with no kids, no prior pregnancies, and I’d thought for a few years that I probably did want kids-- it just... never happened. We were too careful, until we decided not to be. (Even then, we weren’t trying. We just let things do as they would.) The next 6 weeks were interesting. It was... neat? Neat to feel all the minute changes. Every day I was so aware of my body and what was happening to it. Even though I was almost not showing at all (I could see a slight difference; nobody else would have), I felt so big, and I was exhausted, but it was kind of fun. It was fun thinking about having an October baby; maybe its birthday would end up on my husband’s, or my old bff’s. Maybe it’d be 10-15-20. I thought that would be cool. And I thought about names, about how we’d arrange the house, how we’d afford everything when we have such a habit of just squeaking by. I felt we were up for the challenge. But I read a lot of information. SO MUCH information. So I knew there was a chance it wouldn’t work out. After all, roughly 1 out of every 4 known pregnancies ends badly. And there was no reason why I should miscarry, when I was healthy, and my family didn’t have a history of common miscarriages. But I wasn’t stupid, and I’ve never been the kind of person to say, “it won’t happen to me”. I guess I was lucky that I read so much, that I knew things could go wrong, because they did. Even so, I wasn’t entirely prepared. I started bleeding around week 9, so I read an absolute ton about miscarriages. They all said it happened pretty quick-- maybe a few days of light bleeding before the ‘big event’, and that the event itself was painful-- AT LEAST like heavy period cramps. When I continued bleeding for over a week I thought “...maybe it’s not a miscarriage?” I read some more and determined it could have been a subchorionic hemorrhage-- bleeding in the uterus that is usually not fatal to the baby, often characterized by period-like bleeding: long, slow, not very painful. The whole time I was trying to find a place to get an ultrasound. I don’t/didn’t have a doctor of my own, a primary care physician or an obstetrician. I’ve never really done doctors. Figured I’d wait until about the second trimester to find one, since my readings told me a lot of doctors waited til week 10+ for the first appointment anyway. Unfortunately, all the clinics I talked to wouldn’t deal with me when I mentioned I had some bleeding-- even though it was just a little bit! Less than a period. “Go to the ER”, they said, to which I responded that I absolutely was not going to go to the ER for a non-emergency when hospitals were stuffed with coronavirus patients. Therefore, I just waited while I kept looking, hoping it would sort itself out. In a way, it eventually did. Monday morning, as I was about to go to sleep (I work nights), I had some slightly heavier bleeding. Thought it might have been another small clot. Sat on the toilet for an hour before I felt woozy and decided to lay in the tub before I passed out. Thank god for my husband, because I don’t know if I would have survived the next several hours without him. HERE’s the TMI >>>>>>> I continued bleeding for the next three hours, my husband pouring warm water on me to wash all the little clots away. After a while, I passed a huge clot, size of an egg. Ever done that science experiment where you use vinegar or something to dissolve an egg shell and you’re left with just the innards in a flexible membrane? Well it was like that, but blood. I passed out a little while after that. ....That’s when I knew things were getting weird. It was my second time passing out ever, and I hated it. I think it’s literally my least favorite thing in the world. 5 seconds that feels like an eternity and it feels like you’re going to die but you can’t explain why. Terrible. I still thought maybe we could get through this. It didn’t hurt, it was just... well, losing blood. It was within the realm of what I’d read about subchornionic hemorrhage, so I thought maybe that clot was the worst of it. HMM, I was wrong. I passed another one just like it. Then I passed out twice in quick succession, upchucked all over myself (the smell haunts me, ugh), and apparently turned rather blue. So I told him, “hey, it’s time for the ER”. Boy, that was....... a thing. He called his mom because I said I didn’t want him driving and for me to pass out again when he couldn’t help. I swaddled myself in towels and garbage bags so I wouldn’t bleed all over the damn place, all the while feeling like I might just die at any moment. When we got to the ER, they put me in a wheelchair, asked me some questions I could barely answer, and then took me back. The next 24 hours consisted of being stabbed, suctioned, and pumped with 5 liters of saline solution which left me smelling weird. I was barely conscious for the first half of it, but talking and joking whenever I could-- because apparently that’s how I deal with stress. Anyone surprised? Anyway, they quickly confirmed what I knew as soon as I passed more than one ungodly egg-clot: it was a miscarriage. They removed what was left; I didn’t look at it, but my husband said there... wasn’t really much. Nobody did any analyses, so I’m left to surmise that it wouldn’t have been more than 6 weeks (or possibly anembryonic), meaning it was just in there for 5+ weeks by then, doing nothing but accumulating blood. Insult to injury much? The biggest strangeness of the whole ordeal, the reason why I didn’t expect it was a miscarriage in the first place, was that none of it hurt. Every story I read said it hurt, but this just felt... awkward. I mean, passing out wasn’t fun. Sure as hell didn’t feel comfortable, but I never experienced any pain (except the blood draws; lord did those bruise. Ugh). The whole thing left me feeling exhausted. It took days before I could do more than toddle around the house. It’s been 2 weeks now, but I still feel a little sick when I think about those fucking clots, or the strangeness of the ER, or passing out 4+ times. I’m hoping I don’t have brain damage, geez. I certainly feel mentally slower than usual, like maybe the pregnancy-brain never went back to normal. As for what I feel emotionally... it’s... hard to say. I’m sad. Disappointed, annoyed. But mostly I was scared. And that makes me hesitant. I still want a kid. I wanted that kid. But I’ve always been very careful. We always knew the risks and wanted to wait until the right time. The problem is, now... Now I’m more intimately familiar with some of the risks, and I’m a bit afraid it’s going to make me too careful. Will I ever get another chance? Will I ever give myself another chance? I don’t know. I really just don’t. Mostly though, I am glad to be alive. And while I was more than accepting of the ugly bloated and tired feeling of pregnancy, I’m happy to take the good with the bad now. I hate what I lost, but my body is starting to feel normal again, and... well, that’s nice, I guess. Anyway... That’s partly why I haven’t been online, and what I’ve been up to since. God I hope you guys have all had nicer, less-eventful years so far. (If you wanna catch up, feel free to message me. The IM feature seems busted on my end, so maybe try sending an ask or something instead.)
#elo talks#long post#super long post#tw: miscarriage#tw: pregnancy#tw: emergency room#tw: blood loss#this is a personal post but I don't mind who interacts with it. I hope maybe it'll help someone somehow#sorry to make you read all this crap
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June 13th-June 19th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive
The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from June 13th, 2020 to June 19th, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:
What is your physical and digital workspace like when you’re working on your story?
🌈ERROR404 🌈
LOL it really depends on what stage I'm in of the process - My storyboarding space is at home, as comfortable as I can be, a beer and some food at the ready and pure silence. The cats have to be freshly fed, otherwise I'll be harassed and lose my headspace entirely LOL. I usually work on my story boards digitally, just at a very small scale, with my script/outline on my computer and working on my ipad! The double screen helps a LOT, although i would just print out the script if I had access to a printer, haha. When I'm working on the actual page itself, it's a very different story. I usually just try and work on it in tiny little batches during the day when I'm stuck at home, and usually work around the animals as best i can, lmao. Truthfully, I really prefer to be in a coffee shop when I'm working on finishing pages, it makes me so much more productive than i am in this house with so many things to take care of right in front of me, but, obviously, that's a bit difficult to do these days. ;; I usually reserve food and drink until after I pass a milestone in inking/sketching to help motivate me to keep going for as much as I can before taking a break, and I need some kind of music or video playing in the background to keep myself from being absolutely bored out of my mind. My shading process, since it's in black and white, is very easy and i can finish it in one setting, easy, no matter what I'm working with. I also work digitally for my pages, of course, although I don't need more than my ipad and clip studio for it!
DaeofthePast
freshly fed cats
🌈ERROR404 🌈
They are BEASTS when hungry, the little bastards (love them)
I may only work in peace when they're post-food napping lmao
DaeofthePast
we only have one, but same
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I work almost entirely in the corner of my IKEA couch at home I used to work at a proper desk with a Cintiq, but when I switched to Procreate on an iPad, I migrated to the couch and surrounded myself with a nest of clothes and blankets and books and... here I am, bein' cozy. With terrible posture But when I was between jobs last year, I did rent a little coworking space down the street so I could get out of my pajamas and go get comic stuff done there. It was a godsend. I like drawing at my favorite coffee shop every so often too, but I tend to hide my work while I draw, and there, everyone can look over my shoulder The coworking space had a tall artist desk that was rarely used, so I often grabbed that one. Not cheap, but to stave off cabin fever, heck yes, worth it.
🌈ERROR404 🌈
Ahhh I've been really thinking about getting a studio space one of these days I really shouldn't rn, with my finances as they are, but I could REALLY make use of one recently
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I loved the space I used last year. They recently had to close for... current-event reasons... and are going to reopen with all sorts of plexiglass barriers between the desks I feel so bad for them. Good studio spaces are wonderful, I would support them again if I ever was out of a job!
🌈ERROR404 🌈
it's good they've found ways to make it safer, though!
carcarchu
My old workspace was in the basement of my home in canada and it was always perpetually freezing even in the summer and i was frequently visited by spiders so my current workspace is a huge improvement in that regard. I do miss my old ergonomic desk chair though. I'm definitely not the kind of person who can draw in bed or on the couch. I need to be in workmode and having a designated space just for that is necessary for me to get in the right headspace for that.
DaeofthePast
my workspace rn is just my desk with my laptop and my drawing tablet. my laptop is stacked on top of a pile of books so i can see the screen (otherwise my tablet blocks my line of sight). it's kinda simple
chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]
Depends. I have a Cintiq Mobile Studio, so I can draw pretty much every where and sometimes in the oddest position, but most of the time I am on my desk with the cintiq hooked up to a second monitor so I don't have to look down so much.(edited)
Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS
For Wayfinders: Thumbnails are somewhere cozy and the only physical work. Me and Q sit and plan them out together. The rest of wayfinders are made on Photoshop, and flat colors in clip paint studio. In the world I would love a nice studio place in an office with others. During corentine I have been working from home, and I am not that good at it, being quite the extrovert. Before corentine I was in a artist residency where I worked on Wayfinders which had a workstation and all the programs we could need. It is so nice and me and Q are going to return there when it opens up again!
Miranda
I have an iPad so usually on the couch, cozied up with coffee and pillows and blankets. But sometimes at the table. But usually on the couch like the gremlin I am
FeatherNotes(Krispy)
I have a large drafting table, a mini drafting table, and a lapdesk in my papasan when we ink/draw! Toning and letters are all done on the desktop in its own space
Miranda
I need to get a good lap desk. But that sounds like a grand setup!
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
My first time hearing about a lapdesk
Omg I need one
FeatherNotes(Krispy)
They are the best things ever Mine has just the pencil holder !(some come with cup holders and its a waste of space imo)
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
Wow I like your setup of the drafting tables
FeatherNotes(Krispy)
I wanna show pics of them....if im allowed in this chat?
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
I hope so, I'm not sure which channel we can post studio photos at? I did see some did before?
FeatherNotes(Krispy)
Ill post in shop talk since creator babble gets archived
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
my current space is uh.... a bit better than my last one. I used to work on an old writers desk for a decade and I did most of my comic work sitting there cramped up with my desktop taking most of the space. Now I have an L shaped desk where I have my desktop on the shorter end. The longer end it's my pen, pencils, and watercolor stuff. my display tablet occupy the space at times so switching from digital and traditional without worrying about setup hassle is a lot better than what I dealt with before lol.
I'm glad the days I had to curl up and draw with no privacy are long gone now
kayotics
I’ve got a little drafting table where I draw all my comic pages. I’m messy with my pens so they’re kind of strewn about until I start to lose them. Then I put them back. I’m not particularly neat. I spend most of the comic process off the computer, so most of my digital work is just on an iPad where I can sit anywhere. I try to keep good lighting around my drafting table and there’s always loose eraser shavings all over.
Natasha Berlin (Pot of Gold)
I got myself a lil corner desk by the dining table. Not as well-lit as I'd like, but it's decently ergonomic and I started putting posters on my wall Plus I can leave work mindset easily by turning off my computer and forgetting about the dark corner in the dining room XD(edited)
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
My desk is really sloppy and covered in all kinds of junk. I have a harmonica, a ball of yarn, a bunch of ink bottles, etc on my desk. I have my sketchbook under my tablet and usually a notebook somewhere for writing. My tablet sits to the right of my laptop (on top of sketchbook) while I'm not using it and when I'm using it it goes over my computer keyboard. I sometimes have a glass of water or some food sitting to the lefthand side
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
The only thing I wanna share about my workspace is this
once i spent over three hours looking for that damned pen
never again
🌈ERROR404 🌈
Ajkdhfkjs the models for hte magazine im crying
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Oh my God
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
mad giggling
Deo101 [Millennium]
youre gonna manage to lose the string
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
omg
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i know in my heart deo is right but still i hope
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
You should weld a metal chain to it
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Watch me lose the whole tablet
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Oh nooo
I believe in you!
TaliePlume
My workspace is a black table with a white, yellow, blue and green tablecloth with 3 black chairs. It's next to the kitchen. On it, is my laptop and the left side is my clipboard, 3 blue folders full of writing. Then above it, is 3 sketchbooks and another blue folder from a class that I took in community college.
June 16, 2020
sagaholmgaard
I have one long desk at almost three meters. On the left side is all my coffee and tea supplies, in the middle is my work space and on the right is my dining table xD I get everything done from there, despite having a mobilestudio so I COULD sit anywhere and work, lol. It's a blessing during holiday seasons to be able to bring it everywhere, but at some I like my designated working space. Although I am moving in a few weeks, so who knows what my new workspace will be
Moral_Gutpunch
My workspace is anywhere I can draw or write. It's more of a "Will I be interrupted over something petty or stupid" issue than space. Not that I don't want more space.
Mitzi (Trophallaxis)
My workspace is a big, broken corner desk I managed to lug out of an old apartment when it was gonna be trashed. Before then, I'd just draw in bed. I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure the folding chair I sit at is a similar affair. It's got a Dollar General throw pillow on it so I can at least say I'm trying to save my back. The top of the desk is a mess of mostly old bottles and cans, pencils, incense ash, and my old tarot deck. I love this setup dearly. This is the first time I've ever had my own desk space, much less a space I can decorate or leave as messy as I want. Got my own art up on the walls with sticky tack and all! Also the cat's scratching post is directly behind me, because we've learned the cat won't use it unless it's as in the way as possible. What can ya do, lol.
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Oh cats...
Desnik
I got spoiled with an adjustable desk. It is six feet long, and has a whiteboard top for noodling with dry erase markers
my main computer is set up on an adjustable stand so it floats over the desk, and then I have my cintiq, which we tried to mount on a similar stand but then it was just too heavy
I keep my dice collection nearby because fidgeting helps think things through sometimes
and rolling to make odd decisions never hurts
lately during the quarantine I've been sharing the office with my spouse so we've had to establish rules over when it's okay to bug each other(edited)
oh yeah and we also have a whiteboard installed in the office, and it rules!(edited)
Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho
Mine is pretty simple: I have a laptop that's long stopped being portable and is now mostly just sitting at my desk at all times and a 19 inch Ugee as my display. I usually keep a lot of stuff on top of my desk, but it's mostly just a mess because I have been using it for work too for a while now
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
I suppose I'll talk about my setup too :) My main setup is where I do digital art. I share an office with my SO, so we both have workspaces on opposite walls from each other. I work on a corner desk that holds my beefy computer, two monitors, and a Huion Kamvas GT-191. That's where I draw my comic and pretty much everything else done digitally. Ngl, it's a mess right now. I have comic notes and location floor plans in sketchbooks and DnD character sheets spread out all over the surface, and random pens and sticky notes. In the corner of the room, we have a nice large-format printer where I produce prints for conventions. I actually sketch my pages on an iPad pro in Procreate, so during the sketch phase, sometimes I'll just bundle up on my couch and do it, or before quarantine, sometimes I'd sketch on the go. My other workspace (which hasn't gotten much love as of late tbh) is a drafting table in the corner of our living room. I keep a tabletop easel on it and my Copic markers, as well as whatever I'm working on at the moment. (RN it's some ink washes.) The drawers hold all my ink, pencils, erasers, etc. Next to the drafting table is where I keep all my large charcoal, graphite, and oil pastel drawings (mostly school projects), and my large paintings. Other than that, I have a nifty little cart where I keep painting supplies :) I will say, this setup is by far an enormous improvement from my previous setups.
#ctparchive#comics#webcomics#indie comics#comic chat#comic discussion#comic tea party#ctp#creator interview#comic creator interview#creator babble
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Request : your ex boyfriend whom you broke up with on good friends comes to visit on a birthday party organized by your current boyfriend Bucky. Bucky feels overshadowed and threatened . Angst and fluff pls
A/N: okay i am LIVING for this honestly, jealous!bucky is a fave !!!! sorry if this sucks :-( keep requesting pls
You didn’t want a famous Stark party for your birthday, you wanted a cute small get together with all your friends and your boyfriend. You had college though, and you were an avenger, so time didn’t really exist for you. Let alone enough time to plan a whole party. So of course you dropped small hints to your beloved Bucky.
“you know these two colors go really well together” “oh this cake is SO yummy!!” “i think this playlist is perfect for something like a laid back but FUN party!” “oh these decorations are amazing”
These subtle hints continued for about a week, not including the bundles of texts you would send him while in class or when you were bored or walking the dog you had, and yes, you forced them to get a dog. And now tony created the little guy his own room, catered to his every need, but of course he preferred you over everyone else and was very protective of you. One time while cuddling on the couch he tried to bite bucky because he thought he was trying to kill you, let’s just say bucky flinches a bit now when the pupper jumps on you.
“Okay team. T minus 10 hours until show time. I need Tony and Rhodes on decorations, Bruce and Natasha on food duty- STRICTLY DESSERTS AND CAKE PLEASE, Clint and Sam on food food duty, Steve and Thor you’re on gifts, I’ve compiled a list, and i am over seeing everything as well as inviting everyone. ARE YOU READY TEAM” Bucky gave out the orders, everyone nodding their heads as they all put their hands in the middle. “This has to be PERFECT Y/N needs to know how much we appreciate her, assemble on 3!” “1, 2, 3” “ASSEMBLE” the heroes yelled out as they scrambled to get everything to perfection. People fighting over which super car to drive.
You however were already in class, running late but with iced coffee so it’s worth it. As you jogged into class rushing to your seat next to your ex. Yes your ex, you guys were great friends though so it was okay, you loved Bucky and he trusted you. “hey man i woke up early but still managed to be late? How does that even work?” You said slightly out of breath setting you bag down and pulling out this classes respective notebooks. “You always find a way Y/N” y/e/n smiled at your frantic actions.
As class came to a close you put away your things and headed to the colleges outdoor area, it’s where you hung out with a few people until your next class. “Mind if i join you today?” y/e/n asked you, “of course not! Cmon before i miss the dog i always pet” you beamed at them as you lightly jogged to meet the canine you loved. Your paths crossed only at that time of day and you were never late, you and the dogs owner, Angelica, became somewhat close thanks to this golden retriever. As you made slight small talk, you ended the conversation and you headed in different directions. As you talked to your ex and your other friends joined you they gave you a cupcake and sang you happy birthday. Time flew and before you knew it you were headed to your next class, ready the day to be over and to get home.
you checked your phone briefly before your class started and saw a text from bucky.
buckaroo: do you still talk to y/e/n ?
you quickly composed a text, yeah i just talked to him for like an hour rn lmao
You hit send and put your phone away as your professor began to talk about the upcoming test you had. After a few hand cramps from taking notes too fast, and trying to not fall asleep, the lesson was over and you were almost free. You had to go to the library quickly to get a book you needed for a report. As you made your way to the library you quickly replied to some birthday texts from friends and playing people back at iMessage games.
After getting the book you headed back to the compound, ready to shower, relax for a bit, and then party it up with you friends. But thats exactly what happened, but not in that order.
“T MINUS 30 MINUTES! HUSTLE PEOPLE HUSTLE IM 100 YEARS OLD AND I MOVE FASTER HURRY IT UP” Bucky shouted as the team finished the final details. It was beautiful, Bucky knew you would love it. The people he had invited flooded in as they were told specific places to hide to surprise you.
“Hey Bucky!” y/e/n called out to the super soldier. “Oh hey, it’s James by the way” Bucky said immediately dreading whatever came out of this assholes mouth. You said that he wasn’t that bad, just didn’t work out dating, Bucky however hated his guts, he lost you, the most amazing thing is all the nine realms and didn’t even feel bad about it. He wanted to punch the guys face in but he couldn’t get blood on the decorations. After forcing himself to your ex walked away and Bucky had to take a deep breath in to collect himself.
“T MINUS 39 SECONDS SHES HERE” Tony yelled as everyone took their places, Bucky grabbed a bouquet of your favorite flowers and opened the door. “hey doll, how was your day?” Bucky smooth talked you with a kiss on the cheek as he hid the flowers behind his back. “Pretty good honey and yours?” You asked hugging him and setting you bag down by the door. “Close your eyes” Bucky started firmly, you chuckled and did as you were told as he led you to the middle of the room. “Happy birthday doll” Bucky whispered in your ear as you opened your eyes.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY” everyone yelled popping up with squeakers and those little blow out things you always loved. You stared in awe as you observed even the smallest of details, not one thing you had said had been left out. You looked at bucky who handed you the flowers and your eyes began to well up with tears. “It’s perfect baby” you smiled getting on your tippy toes to kiss him on the lips quickly. Bucky smiled and quickly kissed you back. “Go have fun baby” he smiled at you as you hugged him one last time before running off to your friends.
About an hour had passed and Bucky could not find you. And someone he spotted you in the corner of the room. With y/e/n. His blood ran cold as you smiled and laughed with him. He saw the way your ex looked at you, the way he put his hand lightly on your arm when he told a joke, and the way his eyes raked over your body as you got another drink. He hated it. As he began striding over to him, his metal arms whirring as he clenched his fists, a strong hand bragged him pulling him back. “Don’t buck. The last thing she’d want is a fight.” Steve told Bucky as he let out a shaky breath. Staring at you as your red dress fit you perfectly and you laughed at what was probably a horrible joke. You snatched his arm from Steve’s grip and walked the other way, the lights bouncing off his metal arm.
“Look at them. Look at her Steve, she’s all laughing and smiling and everything. He’s flirting! Just right there Steve!” Bucky huffed as he ran his hand though his hair angrily. “Go talk to her then” Steve said drinking some of what Thor brought him.
“Maybe she doesn’t love me anymore” He whisperered, watching you lean into your ex while laughing at something he said. He couldnt stand anymore of it.
Bucky stormed out as he headed to the fifth floor where the dog was and where the beautiful view of the city was. “Hey buddy” Bucky said softly as his chest sank lower and lower. The dog- Ace, sat next to him as his tail wagged glad to have some company. “Does she even love me anymore? I mean she’s so beautiful and I’m actually 100 years old. And did you see how she was acting with her ex? Her ex! As if i didn’t plan this whole fucking party for her, buy her exactly what she wanted and make everything perfect? And he suddenly waltzes in and she’s laughing with HIM?” Bucky furrows his eyebrows as he huffs out in anger his complaints. Ace lowly barking and making noises almost agreeing with him. “It’s like she has no respect for herself now” Bucky said immediately regretting his words.
“Wow.” A sad voice echoes behind him. He and ace quickly got up as he saw your standing a little bit behind you two. “No self respect huh? I throw myself at every guy? That’s what you’re saying?” You said angrily, hands shaking from either sadness or rage. “No Y/N you know i don’t mean that” Bucky pleases striding towards you grabbing your wrist. “Don’t touch me.” You stated voice cold.
“Well what the fuck do you expect? I do every fucking thing you tell me, hoping that you can at LEAST validate my efforts and be with me during the party I threw for you. But no. You’re off with you Ex of all people laughing and completely ignoring me.” Bucky said voice raising only a bit. The hurt was evident in his voice, but you were going to give in.
“I thought you trusted me? Do you think something is going on?” You looked at him, knowing that would make him feel bad. “No but it’s just seeing you look so happy with him, hurt.” Bucky whispered.
“Knowing you can have him and any other guy and be normal and live a normal life, with someone who isn’t as broken as I am, someone who doesn’t have to wait two months before being okay with holding hands. Seeing you so happy with him makes me wonder if you’re gonna find someone better and realize you can do so much better than the horrible thing I am.” Bucky whispered not being able to look into your eyes. Your chest hurt from hearing the words leave his mouth. You hated when he was like this.
“Look at me James.” You states sternly grabbing both of his hands in yours, putting two fingers under his chin and making him look at you with his blue eyes that melted your heart.
“I love you. Only you. I don’t care if i can have a ‘normal’ life. If normal means not you, i don’t want that. I want you James Buchanan Barnes. I want you and every one of you flaws. I want you and your good and bad days. I want you and only you. You’re my soulmate and nothing can change my mind. I understand if you think he was flirting and honestly he probably was, which is why i was laughing so much. He probably thinks he can take me back to make me like him again, but little does he know you could snap his neck with your pinky” you smiled at he let out a slight chuckle to your last comment. He pulled you into his chest as you wrapped your arms around him.
“I’m sorry for being such a loser on your big day” Bucky mumbled into your hair as he kissed your forehead. “You’re my loser, the party is still perfect angel” You said kissing his jaw. He stared down at you with pure love in his eyes. “We should probably go back and open presents huh” He smiled kissing your lips between each word. “mmm maybe we should” You said closing your eyes and savoring the moment.
The two of you left Ace to sleep and headed out silently as Bucky told you his plan to threaten your ex. You laughed at his fake macho voice and kissed him once more. “Thank you for everything bucky, really it’s perfect” you said sincerely. “Anytime doll” he smiled as you entered the booming room packed with all the familiar faces. As you wondered off to find something to cut the cake with, y/e/n came up to Bucky.
“There you are! Been looking for you, where’s Y/N?” He asked slyly. Bucky stood a little taller and let the light catch his metal arm. “Listen kid, I’m gonna tell you this once and only once. You flirt with my girl one more time, you try and ‘threaten’ me or try and overshadow me by hanging out with my girl, and I’ll make you wish you were dead. Hell you might actually be dead. Is that clear?” Bucky said in a deep voice close to his ear. He frantically nodded and quickly scampered away as you came back smiling.
“When will you ever learn James” you teased giving him a nudge and leading him to the table. “They gotta know who you belong to babygirl” he smirked as you blushed. “You’re just a big softie” you teased as you two enjoyed the rest of the night together and with friends.
#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes angst#readers birthday x bucky#bucky barnes imagine#jealous!bucky#reader x bucky barnes#bucky barnes blurb#jealous bucky barnes
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When you walk away (Nothing more to say)
chapter 10 - just,,,,all the fucking angst
trigger warnings: sympathetic Remus and Deceit, self-degrading talk, thoughts of suicide, crying, glass stuck in hand (Remus breaks a beer bottle in his hand), blood, toxic father, lots of swearing, lots of angst, allusions to biting nails into blood, rain, talk of hypothermia, some mentions of a dog barking, allusions to self harm and suicide (no actual suicide or intended self-harm), cognitive distortions, underage drinking, drinking spoiled beer let me know if i missed something
summary: All the fucking angst poured into one chapter intended to emotionally destroy you.
author’s note: it's 2,500 plus words, buckle up, buttercups. I am writings this at near-midnight and if ya'll see some typos, don't blame it on me blame it on the red bull. Also wooo!!! this is the 10th chapter!!! can't believe I made it that far and that ya'll are still reading my elaborate daydreams that I vomited onto a screen!! yaay!!!
He was cold. No, not cold, numb. Both, actually. The rain trickled along his soaked denim jacket. Not that Damon cared, he deserved it anyway. The jacket did nothing to keep him warm, after all, it's main purpose was to look cool. A shiver shot through him as his phone buzzed in his back pocket. His shaking hand slowly took it out, "Avery...?"
Remus.
Damon put the phone back and let it ring until the only sound he could hear was the rain falling, the occasional car driving by. He didn't want to talk to Remus right now.
...Huh. Didn't want to talk to Remus, that would be a first. A bittersweet feeling flooded Damon's chest. He couldn't tell if he was still crying or not, if yes, the rain mixed with the tears too perfectly to tell. He could still see the sidewalk before him, but not for long. It was dark, it was getting darker. Damon sighed, just a few streets more. Just a-
He sneezed. Great, so now he has a cold, this day couldn't end any better. He flinched as a loud barking began, probably a dog. It's not like Damon paid any attention to it. He didn't know if Avery would be home, he prayed that they were not. The barking stopped, that or Damon was far enough for the sound of rain to block it out. He should check if Avery was home.
He pulled the phone out again, scrolling through the phone screen with some difficulty due to the rain. He finally reached their phone number, typing a simple message: 'u home yet??'
He waited for a response, still walking towards their house. He tried to shield the screen with his arm but eventually gave up when his arm started cramping. After a few minutes, after he finally accepted he would get so response, his phone buzzed. Damon looked at the screen again.
'U MEAN U ARENT HOME YET!?!!'
Oh, shit, that's right. God, Damon was so stupid sometimes. It wasn't long before the phone buzzed again.
'DAMON HORACE BARNES ANSWER ME DAMN IT!!!'
Well, there goes his freedom for the next six years and a half. He sped up his tempo and began writing back: 'i was at-' he hesitated, finger hovering before the screen for a while, then they got back to work 'i was at virgil's'
'...at least u were inside, wouldnt want u hanging out under a bride in this bad weather or something'
'lmao y would i be under a bridge im not THAT stupid'
'just get home already -_-'
And with that, Damon shut off his phone and looked up at where he was, hopefully his muscle memory didn't betray him. It didn't seem to, as his house was finally in view. He sighed and walked directly towards it, picking up the spare key from beneath the welcome mat on the rocky path. He opened the door and was immediately hit with a wave of warmth. He took off the soaking jacket and tossed it onto the kitchen table. He shivered at the feeling of bare arms, the wet t-shirt doing nothing to preserve his body heat. Not that he cared anyway, it was just another thing to add to his list of problems.
He went straight to his room, not bothering to turn on the light, plopping onto his bed in the still wet clothes. Now that he was alone, still cold, and at home, he could think about what will be the consequences of his actions. He tangled his hands into his hair. Stupid. Remus probably hates him now, great, he made everything between them awkward because he was selfish and wanted Remus for himself. He curled up into himself. Stupid. Of course the one time he doesn't think, the only time he acts on impulse, is the time that he ruins everything and more. He tugs on his hair harshly, taking his attention away from the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He's so stupid.
"Okay, you guys ready?" Jenna glanced between the two, "Or is our widdle newd here afraid of freezing to death?" she baby-talked at Logan.
Logan rolled his eyes in retaliation, not saying anything and instead walking up the steep hill to Jenna's brother's car. He...wasn't entirely sure what he was called. Kind of a bad thing considering he was getting a ride from him. It wasn't long before the other two joined, Jenna sitting in the front seat while Logan and Virgil were in the back seat. Logan didn't care for nor listened to the bickering of the twin. He turned his head to the other side at the heavy feeling on his shoulder. Virgil was resting against it, of course, Virgil always preferred to initiate physical contact, it was obvious why. The ride was not at all silent, not that it bothered either of them. It wasn't long before they were at Virgil's house, with the mix of Virgil signing and Logan interpreting to...Tyler, was it? for directions. He didn't thank the twins, even when exiting the old car. It was a bummer leaving Logan, but he'll live, right?
Virgil pulled out his keys to the house and let himself in, recoiling in panic when someone threw himself at him, "There you are! I was worried sick! I thought someone had kidnapped you or you froze to death!" Emile pulled back, still clutching at his shoulders, to look at him, "Do you even know how late it is?! I thought you…" Emile trailed off. The scars on Virgil's legs hurt faintly as he did. Emile soon shook his head, "Well, I am really glad you didn't. Y-you must be cold. Wait on the sofa, I'll make you some hot cocoa and reheat yesterday's dinner, yeah?"
Virgil couldn't help but nod, his chest heaving with guilt of what he did. Not the same guilt mom made him feel, no, definitely not. This was a new kind, he didn't like that one either. The sofa was soft, softer than he remembered, maybe he was just tired…Was Logan tired? Why was Virgil asking that? Of course he was, who wouldn't be?
To say Logan was tired would be an underestimation. He was exhausted, in more than one way, "Answer me, for fuck's sake!" The hands banged on the table. Logan didn't relent answering this time, "I, uh, I was heading home and...got caught up with some friends…" he fiddled with the loose of his flannel.
His dad scoffed, "Some friends you have, you smell like cigarettes and paint."
Logan needed to think of a good lie, just until momma comes down. Just a few minutes, she always worries for Logan, she would check if he came home. His dad inched closer, "It's a second-hand smell, I had to take a shortcut through a poorer part of the city."
Soft steps could be heard up the stairs, growing closer and closer. It wasn't soon after that momma revealed herself on top of them, tired as always. She froze for a second when she saw Logan, then stomped down, all while dad tried to reason with her, "Honey, Melissa, you surely know what a slacker he is, I mean, look at him."
Melissa turned her head so she couldn't see Gerald sign or move his lips. She looked at Logan taking his face in her hands. Logan looked away, sighing after an intense staring contest that Melissa won, "I am sorry, it won't happen again, I promise," Melissa was still frowning, but her face softened, she always had a soft spot for Logan.
Gerald scoffed, knowing his wife won't hear him anyway, "I can't believe she's that gullible..." he grumbled something under his breath, most probably about Logan being spoiled, and went upstairs to his office, where else would he go? His mother removed her hands from his cheeks and began signing, a thing Logan was glad he didn't have to interpret to someone anymore, like, do you even know how tiring that is?
'Where on earth have you been? Do you know how worried I was?!'
Logan sighed, signing back, 'I was out with some of my friends, I apologize for making you worry,' he watched as surprise glazed over her face for a second.
'Boys like Roman and Patton would never stay out so late.'
Logan hesitated, looking away.
Melissa raised an eyebrow, eventually waving it off and sending Logan to bed. The poor boy must be tired, she was too. She can interrogate him about his whereabouts some other time.
Tap. Tap. Tap. The droplets of rain fell to the ground endlessly. Clank. Remus kicked the trash can over, garbage spilling over the sidewalk. Tap. Tap. Tap. His shoes tapped against the concrete. His uneven breaths echoed the streets in white clouds of breaths. The place where his fingernails should be is stinging with the cold and pain, fingers digging into the outer side of his arms, dried blood on where the fingers were placed. It wasn't from the arms, his nails weren't sharp enough to do that. Remus could still feel the metallic taste in his mouth, the familiar taste, it didn't mean he liked it though. He hit his foot on something hard, his eyebrows furrowed. Remus looked down at it, slowly picking the beer bottle up. Did it have something left? Remus shook it. Hah, at least something in his life didn't go wrong for once. It tasted bitter, flat, Remus might say. Not that it mattered, as long as it got him drunk. He took another swig, face scrunching up at the taste, but hey, he'll get used to it. Just like he gets used to everything. Like living with momma. Like being a disappointment of the family. Like being alone. Yeah, he can get used to being alone again, no biggie. He'll get over it. He gets over everything.
He heard a car passing, god, he hopes it'll run him over. It gets closer, Remus can hear it. He considers running in front of it...no, he...he couldn't do that to Virgil. A freezing shock runs through the left side of his body, he shrikes and jumps away from the road.
...God, simply fucking amazing. Now he's soaked completely. Well, too late to jump in front of that car now. Remus blinked and looked up...Where was he again? How...How long did he walk for?
"Remus?"
He already knew who that was, how couldn't he? He didn't need to be babied. Remus kept walking. He couldn't even bare looking at Damon's family.
The car still rode beside him slowly, "Remus, kid, you're gonna freeze out here, c'mon."
Remus kept walking.
Avery sighed, "I'll drive you home, okay?"
"Why?" Remus barked back. His step quickened.
Avery stuttered, "Why?!" Remus flinched at the sudden rise of tone. Avery tensed, "Look, sport, by this rate you're gonna get hypothermia, and I already have one teenager to worry about. Get in the car."
Remus didn't relent. He didn't wanna deal with anyone right now. Knowing Avery, they wouldn't...interrogate him, per se, but they will try to, ugh, talk to him. He didn't need that. He didn't hear them say anything. Did they drive off already? He didn't hear them.
Avery sighed, "I'll call your mom."
Remus' eyes widened, "Wait, no, don't!"
Too late. Too late again. Fucking god, Remus just couldn't do anything right, could he? He just...always messed up no matter what. Remus' grip on the bottle tightened. He could just hear ma and Roman, 'God, Remus, you're such a burden!' his hand started shaking. Why should he even bother them with his presence? Maybe if he hurts everyone he comes to contact with he shouldn't exi-
The bottle shattered. Remus hissed in pain. Fuck. He dropped the remains of the beer bottle onto the ground, beer mixing with his blood. His hand twitched, he trembled with pain, and the rain isn't fucking helping. Great, just...fucking magnificent. This shit is just asking to get infected. Whatever. Whatever. What the fuck ever.
Avery opened the door to their house, putting the keys back in their purse. It was dark, don't tell them..."Damon? Honey, are you here?" they called out, listening carefully for any sound. Soft sobbing came from his room. Avery slowly walked to Damon's room, not bothering to knock and opening the door right away, "Sport? You okay?"
The light from the kitchen illuminated a part of his room, mainly the bed where a bundle of sheets shifted more into themselves, "Get out," came from beneath them, voice hoarse and raspy, almost like...
"Oh, honey," Avery walked closer, sitting on the edge of the bed, "I am assuming it has something to do with Remus?"
The muffled breathing stopped, they could almost feel Damon tense.
"I...saw him on the way here," they explained.
Like on command, Damon rose from the bed, "You what?! What did- did he say something? Wh- why is he still out, it's late!" his bloodshot eyes were wide and searching all over Avery's face for answers. All he was getting were dark circles and even darker eyes.
Avery sighed and slowly moved their hand to Damon's. This time, they could actually feel him tense up, "Damon, sweetheart, what happened? Did Remus hurt you?"
Damon looked at Avery like they had just slapped him, Wh-what?! Of course not! He would, he would never do that!" his hand clenched into a fist. Damon looked away from his parent, "I just...messed up like I always do."
Something in Avery broke, "Dee, dee, sugar, look at me."
Although unwillingly, Damon looked at them. They took Damon's face into their hands.
"You could never mess up something as big as you and Remus, okay? One mistake won't erase years of friendship."
"B-but-"
"There are no buts in this household, Dee," they slowly stroked the other's cheek, "I am sure you two will make up in no time."
Eventually, Damon gave up on trying to convince Avery otherwise. He nodded, "Yeah, okay. You're right," just get over with it, he wanted to be alone right now. Or forever.
Avery sighed, "Of course I am, just wait," they got up from the bed and walked over to the door before turning back to Damon, "I'll order some pizza and we can watch Law & Order on my laptop, yeah?"
Damon nodded. As soon as Avery walked out he buried himself back in his bed. Huh, he didn't notice but he was starving. Whatever, he deserved it anyway. He could hear Avery talking on the phone, though he tuned them out. He wanted to be left alone, how could he trust himself around other people now? He couldn't. He shouldn't. He should just...pretend tonight didn't happen and avoid Remus as much as possible. Yes. The best-case scenario, Remus was too drunk to remember it, though, he probably wasn't. Eh, give Damon a rest, let a man dream. Though...Damon wasn't sure he would dream tonight...or anywhen in the future, really. Now that he thinks about it, Damon wasn't sure about a lot of things. Hah, how pathetic of him.
#long post#when you walk away (nothing more to say)#sanders sides#logan sanders#virgil sanders#deceit sanders#remus sanders#sympathetic deceit#sympathetic remus#me??? coping with my daddy issues??? in this fanfic??? it's more likely than you think.#angst#it's dark side angst o'clock and the clock is stuck
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Ebony and Ivory (V x Reader Fanfic) Chapter Two
Author’s Notes: Holy crap, you guys are so kind! Im glad you all are enjoying this story so far! Just be warned, I’m kind of changing the timeline to days instead of hours in this. So they have time to rest and do shit. Its important to the plot ;)
Chapter 2
Upon entering the van, you realized right away that it was in fact a mobile home of sorts. On one end rested a leather couch, the area sized to be a small living space. It smelled of cigarettes and metal, yet also with a slight hint of something unmistakably feminine. A perfume or something. It felt cozy, albeit a bit messy. At that moment it was also pretty cramped. Nero moved to the front to sit by Nico while they discussed their course of action, V taking up a chair behind the driver's seat at a small table. His bird found its perch on an old jukebox off to the side, still looking pretty ruffled from his argument earlier. Did the bird and cat have names? You wanted to ask, but mister pretty boy goth was engaged in speaking to the other two about their plan of attack.
The panther settled down near V’s feet, still close enough to touch. You stared back at their piercing red eyes with silent longing. It looked so soft, and you were going stir crazy while waiting for the others to remember you were there. Gathering your courage and accepting the loss of an appendage, you slid to the floor and sat cross-legged, watching the creature’s pelt ripple warily now that you were closer. Upon further inspection, you realized the cat was a dark blue as well, although much more subtle. It growled lightly at you, ears flicking when kept looking at it hesitantly.
V was still talking to Nero, discussing the Qlipoth roots they had to destroy. You already had the gist of what needed to be done, so you didn’t really have to listen in. You had always been easily distracted—how you had survived this long with a success rate that high you would never begin to understand. You came here to fix a problem and instead you were trying to win over a big cat, one that looked ready to bite you. You wouldn’t say you were stupid per se, but impulse control was definitely not at the top of your list of skills. Your emotions and desires often got the better of you, that was something very apparent even when you were just a human.
While the others continued to talk, you quietly summoned your Void power, murmuring a quiet incantation as you centered the ability on your palm.
“From the Void into being.”
From that point energy glowed and weaved, creating the organic object you imagined. One of your many abilities, it was meant to be used when you had zero access to food. With the power you had, you could create something from the nothingness of the Void. That something usually just organic material like meats, fruits. If you absorbed something from a world you could easily replicate it. After going to so many worlds there were hundreds of things you could make, though the energy it took to do that depending on the item was too taxing. And it was only organic materials. Only medicines made from organic plants, only food and things of that nature. And here you were, expending energy to create fresh, raw red meat for this panther.
Responsible, thy name is Y/N.
After you were finished, it occurred to you that the three had gone quiet. You blinked, and turned to see all of them staring at you. V looking curious and lightly bemused, the other two outright shocked.
“...Uh.” You cleared your throat, “Yeah?”
“Holy shit,” Nico whistled lightly, looking pretty excited all things considered, “How the hell did ya do that...?!”
You looked at the meat in your palm—it was even cold to the touch. Fresh, real and just as real as meat cut from an actual cow. You supposed it would be really fucking strange to people who didn’t have such an ability.
“It’s one of my skills,” You replied, holding out a piece of meat for Nero to take, “Here, touch it. It's real raw meat. I mean, I wouldn’t suggest eating it raw but...You could cook it if you had the time.”
Nero pinched the scrap between his fingers, bringing it up to his nose to sniff. You found yourself smiling at his reaction, patiently waiting as he and Nico both mulled over the meat like it was the most fascinating thing they’d seen all day. You remember being that entranced the first time you tried it, you still remembered the first item you ever made—A chocolate bar. You could still make one now if you wanted, but wasting energy was a bad idea and your dumb ass had already expended some.
“How does it work?” Nero finally questioned, handing the meat back to you and wiping a hand on his jacket.
You fought a laugh, offering back a rueful smile, “I don’t know the specifics myself. I just know if I absorb an organic material, I can take it and remake it as many times as I want from my energy.”
He made an impressed expression, leaning on the inside door of the van, “That’s pretty damn neat.”
Before you could reply, you hear Nico let out a low hum, one full of mischief.
“Ohhh damn there, Nero. You already warming up to the new girl? Do I need to tell Kyrie?” She tsked, shaking her head as if filled with disappointment.
“Knock it off, Nico,” Nero frowned, crossing his arms over his chest and protesting indignantly, “Are you gonna say that any time I’m friendly to girls?”
“You ain’t friendly to me, pretty boy.”
“Give me somethin’ to be friendly about, you maniac.”
“Who’s Kyrie?” You interjected quickly, trying to diffuse a rising argument peeking over the horizon. And by peeking you meant inches from exploding in this small space you all were in. The pair looked at you when you questioned, and you instantly noticed Nero’s expression soften a little, just a slight difference compared to his cocky expressions you were growing to accept as normal. Clearly this person was special to him, no doubting that.
“Kyrie is his fiancé,” Nico answered for him, jabbing Nero lightly in the shoulder, “Focus, lover boy. She takes care of some kids at an orphanage in Fortuna. A total sweetheart—how she ended up with this punk none of us know.”
She jabbed a thumb at Nero again, making him huff and release a little peeved “Hey!”
So, he wasn’t a twink?! This revelation both made sense and was vaguely disappointing. Was there a straight equivalent to a twink?
Regardless, you did have a task in mind when you summoned the meat. It occurred to you that V had said nothing during this entire exchange, and you glanced over to see him with a book opened in his hand, eyes scanning the page. Completely indifferent it would seem, which was pretty disappointing. If you were going to lose a hand to his pet cat, you at least wanted him to watch it happen, damn it. Still, you turned to look at the creature while Nero and Nico started to bicker a little bit again, completely distracted—you preferred it that way.
The cat looked at you again, nose twitching as you gingerly held out a piece of meat. A quick glance at the bird confirmed he was watching you like you were out of your god damn mind. That was pretty pleasing if you had to say so. You glanced at V again, and if you weren’t mistaken you thought he took a quick glance at you before delving back into his book.
You took in his appearance for a second--he was definitely an odd one. Long black pants, black sandals, black everything. Yet he carried himself with the energy of an old century poet longing for some lost love. Other than the fact that these two demons worked for him, he seemed pretty normal. The concept of familiars was not lost on you, many places you had seen touched on such things. Witches and warlocks often kept demons as companions and helpers, but you didn’t know if those things existed in this place.
Either way, you didn’t want to bother the goth in his musing. You instead turned to look at the bird on the jukebox, holding some meat out to him too.
“Hey, mister bird,” You quipped, “Do you and the cat have names?”
He looked surprised to be addressed by you again, and even more surprised that you seemed to be offering him food. You saw a gleam of interest in his eyes, but his feathers ruffled, stubborn and prideful as he tilted his head up.
“What’s it to you, princess?” He sneered lightly, clawed feet tapping on the glass top of the jukebox, “And no offense, I don’t wanna eat your weird magic meat!”
You sighed. That nickname again.
“My name is Y/N,” You frowned in disappointment, “Come on I’m trying to be friendly here.”
He cackled a little, shaking out his tail feathers as the panther sniffed the air, still too wary to walk forward and take any food. You glanced at V again, expecting him to still be reading. You were instead startled when you found his dark green eyes meeting yours, a wry smile tilting his lips as you were caught in your expedition to win over his pet cat. If he was watching he might as well help you at the very least. Though you had to take pause—it had been a while since you found yourself dazed after staring at someone’s face. The guy definitely had the looks to make up for his bad fashion sense.
“Do they have names?” You asked him instead, since the bird was not cooperating at all.
He closed his book with one hand, the soft thud very satisfying to hear.
“They do,” He replied simply, much to the bird’s obvious annoyance, “The one you’re very determined to feed is Shadow. And the one you called ‘ten piece’ is Griffon.”
“V!” The bird, now dubbed Griffon, squawked indignantly.
He simply tilted his head, giving him an unapologetic look from underneath some long lashes. Boy, he had a smolder going on. It seemed like V was very passive and confident. His mannerisms were very strange, quiet yet carrying a sense of purpose and energy. You found yourself very fascinated in him—he was fairly mysterious to you. And you liked a good mystery. He also seemed fine with you trying to bribe his pet demons, which was always a plus in your book.
You looked at Shadow, holding out a piece of meat again as the cat twitched its nose at you.
“Come on, Shadow,” You said softly, desperately trying not to use the soft baby voice you generally used for cats. This was a demon and you were sure it was smarter than the average house cat and you didn’t want to insult it, “I swear it’s normal meat. I just wanna be friends.”
You heard Griffon snort loudly, head tilted toward you as he said mockingly, “How could you insult me at first chance but wanna be friends with the overgrown house cat?!”
Oh jeez, he almost sounded offended. Griffon seemed pretty complicated—you had no doubts he hid behind a wall of insults and jibes to hide loneliness. You had seen it before.
“Don’t call me ‘princess’ and I won't call you ‘ten piece’,” You said with a genuine smile, offering some meat to him again while you felt V’s gaze burning into you from your right side, “Deal?”
He paused, and you swore you could hear the wheels in his head turning. You were a pretty patient person, and you could tell he was battling between pride and a million other things in that moment. You thought you heard a low chuckle from their goth master, your gaze briefly landing on him—he was leaning his head on one hand leisurely, watching to see how your little quest played out. Nico and Nero were arguing about Nero paying for his metal arms, but you couldn’t be bothered with that at that moment.
Suddenly you heard the scrape of claws, beak swooping down to quickly snatch the meat from your left hand. You smiled, incredibly pleased as you watched Griffon quickly slurp down the food you had produced as he took up his perch again. Then from your right you felt the brief brush of soft fur on your palm, a low growl sounding from Shadow as they too snatched some meat and slinked back away from you, curling around V’s legs as they chewed. You cheered internally, wiping your hands as you released a slow breath. You were easy to please it would seem—and pleased you were.
You heard V chuckle again, the man sitting forward and resting his hands on his cane as he grinned at you, eyebrow raised.
“Well now,” he remarked, tone so low and smooth it could have put you to sleep, “Don’t you look as smug as a peacock.”
You shrugged, leaning back against the couch and drawing your knees up to your chest, “It’s the little victories.”
“Oh?” He hummed in reply, fingers tapping on that cane, “An optimist are you?”
You snorted, “Maybe. I just find being happy about every little thing makes life a lot better.”
Before V could reply, Nico sat down behind you, her feet brushing against your side as she lit up what appeared to be a cigarette. You tilted her head back to look at her, wincing a little when you were met with a cloud of tobacco smoke. The sudden urge to stand and leave was pretty overwhelming, smoking was definitely not your favorite thing, as much as you liked Nico as a person. You saw V mimic your discomfort, waving a hand through the smoke to clear it away from his face.
“So, uh, Y/N,” Nico commented, blowing another cloud of smoke as she addressed you, “What other kind of funky shit can you do?”
You couldn’t really tell her your range of abilities. Not then at least, maybe later when you knew who was worth trusting. You had your limits like most creatures, but you drew energy from a strange and mysterious source—technically there was a lot you could do, but your body had limits. The power of the Void was heavy and chaotic, deeply hard to wield and a heavy burden at times. Too much at once could damage you, and you had an amount of energy you could use before you started to overextend. You’d be useless if you did so, and it damaged you physically so you avoided such things at all costs. You knew your limits; you weren’t meant to be a magic fix-all for these scenarios. Merely a guiding hand with enough energy to put the steps of fixing it into motion. Thus, why you had the foresight.
So you decided on the safest answer.
“I can provide energy and heal wounds depending on their severity,” You said, tapping your nails on your knees, “Plus I can use the energy to fight, and you already saw the creating aspect. I have a limit though, and passing that limit is dangerous for me.”
Nico let out a thoughtful noise, eyeing you with a mix of curiosity and fascination.
“So like, what are ya then?” She puffed more ash, making a perfect “o” shape with her mouth, “You seem human. Are ya half anythin’? Maybe ya got a demon daddy somewhere down the line.”
You shrugged at that, offering an apologetic smile as you replied, “Nothing that exciting. I get my powers from a deity of sorts—someone down the line probably made a deal for magic and I get the sloppy seconds from that.” Kind of a lie, kind of not. They didn’t need to know you were the one who made the deal.
“Whoa, that’s pretty cool!” Nico blinked, staring at you like you had grown horns, “Never heard of anythin’ like that before.”
You opened your mouth to reply, but was interrupted by V slowly rising to his feet. He was still waving away the smoke, brushing past you toward the door of the van as his companions followed him.
“I’ll be taking my leave now,” He said simply, offering Nero a half smile, “And If I don’t see you along the way...I’ll see you at the bottom of the Qliphoth.”
You felt a slight twinge of disappointment. You knew they were talking of splitting up earlier, but you were kind of hoping you could spend more time with the animals he kept with him. And, well...with him. He was a lot calmer and more collected than Nero, who’s heavy energy was a bit much for you if you were truly honest. As for Nico...the smoking was just too much. Brought back too many bad memories. The sensation of smoke in your face was definitely not welcome.
You opened your mouth, unable to figure out how to ask if you could go with him. Luckily, you didn’t have to.
“V, take Y/N with you,” Nero put a hand on V’s shoulder, stopping him half out the door, “You could use the help.”
You saw V visibly pause, hesitation now showing in his frame as a couple seconds passed by.
“I assure you, I have the help I need,” He said simply, gesturing with his cane to Griffon and Shadow.
Nero crossed his arms, letting out an annoyed huff, “You’re pretty frail as it is, V. I don’t think your little bird friend can wrap a bandage and shit. You could use the healing energy and extra fire power as back up.”
There was another lengthy pause. Despite your mission here, you felt kind of guilty. You didn’t want to burden anyone or force your presence here—you had gotten the needed information, but this...You bit your lip, exchanging a glace with Nico as the silence stretched a bit longer than you liked. In theory you could have gone off on your own, did your own fighting. It would have been easier without hiding your powers, but these people made your foresight burn. They were a part of everything, at the very forefront of the conflict you were trying to fix. Whether with Nero or V, you'd still be getting the job done...but this was based on preference now.
You nervously stood, brushing off dirt as you stepped up to address the two men.
“I don’t want to be forced on anyone,” You murmured, meeting Nero’s concerned gaze as you continued, “I’ll try to be useful where I can, but if V is uncomfortable, I—”
“Her presence is fine by me,” V interrupted you, despite how low and docile his tone was. Both you and Nero looked at him, but he met your gaze with one filled with calm curiosity, “I do have my moments of exhaustion. Nero is right, I could use a backup when that happens.”
Was that relief? Sure was. You tried not to let it show on your face.
Nero, however, released an obviously relieved sigh, “Perfect. I’m sure we’ll meet up somewhere along the way. Until then, Y/N, watch his back.”
Griffon let out an annoyed huff, raising a clawed foot at Nero’s face, “What are me and furball here for then? You don’t trust us, pretty boy?”
“Yep,” Nero replied simply, brushing past with an obviously fake smile and a pat on your shoulder, “Be safe, you two. Nico, I’ll call if I need anything.”
As you said that you felt a hand press a small piece of paper into your palm, your head turning to see Nico standing to your right now. You looked at the paper, seeing a phone number hastily scribbled there, along with Nico’s name.
“That’s my number,” She told you, tapping the paper twice, “Ya need anythin’ you find a phone and call, ya hear?”
You nodded, absorbing the paper into your palm after memorizing the number, “Thank you, Nico.” You would definitely call at some point, to see her if anything. Nico seemed friendly enough under the rough persona she projected. You liked that about her. It had been a while since you had any real friends, or friendly people to interact with. You had no idea how long you’d be there, but you were eager to savor every moment of it that you could get. So you patted Nico’s shoulder once and offered a kind smile, turning to meet V’s gaze again.
He gestured with his cane, that half smile still on his lips.
“Shall we?”
You nodded, following him and his companions out of Nico’s van. The door closed behind you, the sun still shining outside. You put up a hand to shield your eyes, but enjoyed the warmth regardless. It would have been a beautiful summer day if not for all the chaos in the world. You gave the van behind you a passing glance as you followed V away, unsure about how you felt about the whole situation. What the hell were you supposed to talk about? Would he even want to talk? Silence made you very nervous, but you didn’t want to be annoying either. You found yourself clasping your hands behind your back, taking small looks at V’s back when he walked. His shoulders were pretty broad for a guy so wiry. He had very slight muscle definition, and upon further inspection he did seem...frail.
Was he sickly? You frowned a little at the thought. He did walk with a cane, though you couldn’t tell if he had a limp or anything. His gate seemed steady, eyes fixed forward and...driven. He seemed very driven.
Or you assumed he was focused. He surprised you enough that you jumped when he spoke.
“There was always the option of staying behind,” He commented lightly, tilting that dark gaze to you with his typical wry smile. He never seemed to lose that little crooked smirk, like he was always in a state of constantly bemused. The only time he was without it was when he was reading that book.
“You seem very convinced that I wanted to stay behind,” You replied, jogging lightly to reach his side, “What’s that all about?”
He let out a light, thoughtful sound, tone light as he replied, “Merely an observation. You seemed to enjoy Nico’s company.”
You hummed quietly in response, taking in the buildings as you and V entered a part of the city still standing, albeit pretty damaged nonetheless. It looked like it would have been a nice city before the disaster. Gothic architecture with high windows, beautiful shops and what looked to be a market place in a city square. Or at least...they were beautiful once before. Now destroyed, bodies littering the streets frozen in their dying moments. You felt your heart sink as you passed them, seeing a child's form still holding a red balloon as ashes drifted from what remained of her.
Focus, the goth boy started a conversation.
“Nico is nice,” You replied after some thought, trying to shake off the images around you, “Nero is too. All three of you have been kind to me. But what can I say? I like animals and poetry.” You sighed softly, rubbing your arm as you added, “I also can’t stand cigarettes.”
He chuckled at that, tapping the book tucked away in his vest with light fingers. You took the time to observe that he had nice hands, elegant and beautiful.
“That’s very understandable, although I am glad you find enjoyment in my musings,” He said, turning his head away once more, “It's going to be a long journey, so I’m sure you’ll be hearing a lot of it.”
You smiled lightly, running your fingers along a building as you passed by, “Can I ask about that? What’s up with the whole poetry thing?”
You saw him pause, both Griffon and Shadow stopping with him as he turned to look at you with a pondering expression.
“...Strange,” He replied after a few moments, that half smirk coming back again, “You are the first person who asked me.”
Nero and Nico never once thought to ask? You blinked, wondering just why the hell no one had thought it was strange he just reads poetry at all times. Which, mind you, normalcy wasn’t your strong suit either, and you didn’t have a problem with his poetry reading. The more you thought about it, the more it made sense that they wouldn’t ask. From what you saw of Nero’s fighting style...he was pretty god damn extra. And Nico was not normal in the slightest. Everyone in the group was a bit quirky and odd in their own way, and you found that comforting.
“I was just curious,” You replied, scratching the back of your head, “Which, mind you, if it’s a private thing you don’t have to tell me.”
He let out a low hum, giving his cane a light twirl again.
“I find poetry clears the mind and brings focus in clarity in moments where there is none,” He still told you his reasoning, giving you a smoldering glance from under those lashes, “One could also argue a flare for the dramatic.”
Translation: He was just as extra as Nero, just in different ways.
You fought a laugh, clasping your hands behind your back as you replied, “Noted.”
He hummed in response, starting forward again with a tap of that cane. Griffon soared behind you, landing his talons on your shoulders with a solid “oof” from you both as you stumbled a little to accommodate his weight. He wasn't light by any stretch of the word, he was a big bird. He just barely managed to settle, resting half his weight on your head as he trilled quietly and huffed.
“So, what’s your deal, Y/N?” His voice was loud in your ear, sharp talons scratching you ever so slightly, “Got all those fancy powers and shit, just wandering around a broken city? What were you doing there?”
Griffon was asking the questions you had hoped to avoid. You let out a low murmur of thought, inhaling softly through your nose as you formulated your response.
“I’m...kind of a drifter,” You decided to reply, grasping onto his clawed feet to help steady him as you walked, “I like traveling from place to place, and I like helping people. I had been looking in the ruins for anyone who may have needed help, and to see if I could figure out what was going on. In a way, it worked out." It wasn't a lie. You told yourself that.
You heard him let out a quiet “huh”, shaking out his feathers a little as his beak rested on your head. You smiled, enjoying that Griffon seemed more comfortable in your company now.
“So, you have the gist of the situation right? Got any more questions?” He asked, tapping your head with his beak.
You winced a little, “From what I gathered...Urizen is a bad boy who did bad things and he needs a spanking in that big tree in the sky,” You pointed at the Qliphoth as you spoke, looking up at the towering behemoth with a disgusted gaze, “A guy named Dante may or may not be up there and need saving. Is that everything or am I missing something?”
Griffon snickered lightly, “Nah, that sounds about right.”
“Great. Then no, I don’t have any more questions.” That was a lie, you had several, but they were all more about personal things than the mission itself. You didn’t want to seem nosy and pry in on their business.
You saw V smirk at you again from the corner of your eye, but by the time you turned to look he had turned away again. You frowned lightly, wishing you could even slightly begin to figure him out. He was full of mystery and intrigue, mild mannered and polite. But he also seemed easily amused, and pretty extra if you were being completely honest. He was a hard guy to read; mind you, you had only known him a few hours. You had plenty of time to figure it out, right?
You entered a small entry way tunnel of sorts, footfalls echoing as you both approached what looked to be an open back alley in the city. Griffon launched himself from your shoulders, causing you to stumble again and huff. You rubbed the skin there, feeling scratches through the think fabric of your shirt. You didn’t mind Griffon perching, but damn. His claws really did hurt. V looked at you again as Griffon glided ahead of you both, and you were sure you saw his gaze linger on the shoulders you had just rubbed. Upon further inspection you realized there was slight red on the fabric of your shirt from where griffon scratched you.
“Griffon,” He spoke, eyes meeting yours before he glanced at the bird, “Gentler.”
“Whoops, Oops, my bad,” Griffon trilled as he rounded back, seeing what V meant as he swept past you, “Girlie’s got fragile skin.”
You rolled your eyes, “I have normal skin, birdie,” You smiled again, looking at V as you said, “And don’t worry. I’m just happy he doesn’t outright dislike me.” You said that last part quieter, leaning toward V so only he could hear.
V chuckled, “Griffon is a simple creature. A mere bribe of food and he’s already on your side,” He tapped his cane along the concrete walls of the tunnel, the sound echoing hollowly in the space ahead of you, “As for you, Y/N...you don’t' really seem bothered by demons like Nero and the others.”
He was right, you weren’t. Sure, Demons were the enemy in this case and this scenario. But his companions were loyal to him, and in your travels, you had met plenty of kind demons and people who were labeled with bad stigmas. Making assumptions was bad, and you didn’t like doing that. Besides, neither of his creatures had threatened or wronged you—Griffon's taunting seemed harmless enough, and he was done with nicknames for the most part. As for Shadow, you were determined to get close enough to this cat to pet it, that's all you wanted. But V didn't need to know about that strange obsession of yours.
“I don’t make assumptions about people,” you replied, looking down at Shadow as it slinked along beside its master, “Kindness can exist in all manner of things, and your companions haven’t been outright unkind to me either. So why should I be unkind to them?” Empathy always came first before fighting—you much preferred making friends compared to outright hating literally everyone you met. Hell, some of the conflicts you had faced were resolved with just a little kindness and empathy. People would be surprised what you could accomplish if you just tried to help people.
V gave you a respectful nod at your response, a breeze traveling through the tunnel and sending his hair drifting slightly. You looked away, trying not to think about how nice that looked.
Continuing forward, you and the group came out into the alleyway back into the sunlight. You looked around, seeing more debris and graffiti everywhere you looked. The hairs on the back of your neck started to stand up a little, foresight warning you something bad was about to occur if you kept walking. You held out a hand and grabbed V’s shoulder before you walked further, eyes scanning the area warily as that gentle breeze blew through again. Something was definitely here; you could tell that much. V looked at you, then looked around as well, gripping his cane tighter as Shadow growled and stepped forward, teeth bared and saliva dripping from its maw.
As soon as the cat entered the clearing, Demons began to appear, bubbling up from the ground and materializing into existence. The exit behind you was closed by tumbling rubble, and all other escapes blocked by...a shield of sorts? You stared in shock and confusion, sending what looked like red, magic veins and magic blocking any way out. This was a trap of sorts then. You and V exchanged a glance, and you were surprised to see he was incredibly calm, slightly bemused even. He walked forward slightly, your hand dropping from his shoulder as you warily waited to see what he would do.
Griffon swooped overhead, cackling as he said to V, “Oooh, genius says ‘be careful’! Yeah no shit, Shirley! Ain’t that right, V?” he swooped past your head, causing your hair to blow in that direction as he squawked, “I mean I know you’ve got girl wonder here now and all but you ARE still fragile, V! Wouldn’t take much to wipe you out in a sticky situation!”
You activated your Void power as he spoke, stepping up beside V as the sensation burned through the veins of your hands. You and V exchanged a look, you offering a light smile as you told him, “I’ve got your back.”
He inclined his head, giving you a small nod and twirling that silver cane.
“Excellent.”
Griffon made a noise of pain at your words, swooping by again as he continued, “Yeah well I’m just sayin’ running away is okay. It’s always okay to run away if you two aren’t up to it!”
You rose a brow, knowing damn well running away wasn’t really an option with how these demons were looking. In theory, you could use your Void powers to grab them all and yeet yourselves upward, over the shields and to somewhere safe. But these demons seemed easy enough. Squishy, one might say. The basic bitch of demons. You scrunched up your nose as one screeched at you, sending the stench of his breath your way. Yeah, that was definitely not your favorite thing.
On your left, V pulled out his book, opening it with one hand as he looked out at the demons with a half smile.
“He who desires but act not, breeds pestilence,” He read in that smooth tone, voice lilting and almost relaxing in the situation. He closed the book with a gentle thud, eyes tilting forward again as he inclined his head at the demons, “So it is written.”
You heard Griffon sigh, tone slightly exasperated as he landed on V’s outstretched arm, “Okay, Shakespeare, just remember this,” He shook out his feathers, a low growl in his tone as he continued, "You and I like to exist, so get rid of those demons quick, 'cause killin' them ain't my shtick!"
You stifled a laugh, watching as he flew forward toward the demons, wings glowing with a bright blue mixed within the dark feathers.
“I got your back, ‘cause dyin’ is whack!” He finished his little improvised poem with a hefty cackle, Shadow stepping forward as well to punctuate it with a roar at the approaching creatures.
A second later, the battle began.
Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18136193/chapters/42882122#workskin
Tagged: @silentwhispofhope @just-call-me-no-name @nightshadow4713 @slightlylunatic
#devil may cry v#devil may cry#dmc v#dmc5#dmcv#V#V dmc#V x reader#vxreader#sle insert#v self insert#fanfic
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