#im getting sick so its getting harder to do these everyday but....hanging in there...

[meruz]

another heavyjan set

[gettinshiggywithit]

alexandrasmatchups asked:

Here's my prompt: Hange comforting reader who's brokenheart, lonely and all (platonic is okay ofc, I specified broken heart because I am, but not currently looking for a relationship)

moonshineandclearskies answered:

Hi nym thank you for my first ever prompt on tumblr!

Pairing:-NymXPlatonic!Hange Zöe

Trigger warnings?:- talks of death

ps. this is also an older piece!

The sun was setting on another day and the scouting regiment was back from yet another expedition.

As usual many new recruits were injured ans many more were lost,adding to the long list if names of those who had already given their lives in the name of freedom.

But one particular young scout seemed to be more shaken up than most,her name was Nym and she was clearly taking that day’s loses harder than most.

She sat down to take off her odm gear and rest for the day when section commander hange zöe plopped down beside her.

“Hey there cadet!how are ya doin?”commander zöe asked in a voice that Nym felt was too cheery for that evening.or rather too cheery for someone in the survey corps all together.

Nym looked up at her superior and didnt fail to notice the sadness that lay deep within the commanders eyes.

“Commander hange,”she replied,”im alright.thank you for asking”she said with an awkward half smile.

At this hange removed their goggles and placed them on the top of their head before looking the young scout in her eyes and continuing.

“You sure cadet?You looked a little rough out there,careless even.”they said in a caring yet motherly tone.

Nym sighed.

“It’s nothing commander,I’m fine I promise”

Hange’s gaze turned serious.

“Nothing doesn’t make one of my best scouts act like a careless newbie,Nym”

Nym eyed the ground nervously,she weighed her options,should she tell her superior what was bothering her and risk being seen as weak or should she tell them anyway and get it off her chest?

After a second she closed her eyes and took a deep breath as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

“Why do the titans exist?why are they alive and why do they keep killing us?when will it end?when will we truly win?we lose so many scouts everyday and I’m so sick of it.sick of seeing my comrades,my friends die at the hands of those monsters!”she rambled on.

But Hange heard and understood every single word.Never had they ever felt more in tune with one of their cadets,for every single thing that Nym had just said,they had thought to themselves numerous times before.

“Ive lost so many friends,and it breaks my heart,they believed in something greater,something more than life within these walls,and their hopes were rewarded with nothing but death.i feel so...so alone Hange.and im just.so.tired of it.”Nym finished.

At this Hange wrapped their arms around her and enveloped her in the biggest,warmest most comforting hug Nym had experienced in a while.and this made her sob silently.

“I’m sorry Nym,I’m sorry you had to go through that and I’m mostly sorry about the fact that i cant guarantee that it wont happen again.but no matter what,i promise to protect you to the best of my abilities.i cant promise you that you wont have to watch death taking your comrades away but i promise to keep you safe from his grasp.Nym i swear with all my heart that i will do anything in my power to keep you safe,and thats a promise i intend to honour until my dying breath”they said while stroking their young friend’s hair in an attempt to calm and console her.

Nym looked up at them and smiled a smile which was filled with gratitude respect and adoration for her superior.

Hange seeing this gave her one last kiss on the forehead and helped Nym in talking off her ODM gear.

Once they were done,hange placed their goggles back on their eyes and wrapped and arm around their young companion’s shoulders.

“ now come on cadet,lets get you all cleaned up,its almost dinner time”

“Thank you hange,it really means a lot.” Said nym.

“ always,and anytime dear.ill be here for you no matter what”replied the commander. And with that they walked off to get ready for supper.

please dont repost my work here as your own on any platform all rights belong to me except that of the mha characters used,their right belong to their respective owners.but these stories? mine.

feedback,likes,reblogs and comments are so very appreciated tbh :’)i hope you enjoyed and ill catch ya next time!

Comments & Reblogs w/ tags >>>>>>>>>>>likes please

[moonshineandclearskies]

Here's my prompt: Hange comforting reader who's brokenheart, lonely and all (platonic is okay ofc, I specified broken heart because I am, but not currently looking for a relationship)

Hi nym thank you for my first ever prompt on tumblr!

Pairing:-NymXPlatonic!Hange Zöe

Trigger warnings?:- talks of death

The sun was setting on another day and the scouting regiment was back from yet another expedition.

As usual many new recruits were injured ans many more were lost,adding to the long list if names of those who had already given their lives in the name of freedom.

But one particular young scout seemed to be more shaken up than most,her name was Nym and she was clearly taking that day’s loses harder than most.

She sat down to take off her odm gear and rest for the day when section commander hange zöe plopped down beside her.

“Hey there cadet!how are ya doin?”commander zöe asked in a voice that Nym felt was too cheery for that evening.or rather too cheery for someone in the survey corps all together.

Nym looked up at her superior and didnt fail to notice the sadness that lay deep within the commanders eyes.

“Commander hange,”she replied,”im alright.thank you for asking”she said with an awkward half smile.

At this hange removed their goggles and placed them on the top of their head before looking the young scout in her eyes and continuing.

“You sure cadet?You looked a little rough out there,careless even.”they said in a caring yet motherly tone.

Nym sighed.

“It’s nothing commander,I’m fine I promise”

Hange’s gaze turned serious.

“Nothing doesn’t make one of my best scouts act like a careless newbie,Nym”

Nym eyed the ground nervously,she weighed her options,should she tell her superior what was bothering her and risk being seen as weak or should she tell them anyway and get it off her chest?

After a second she closed her eyes and took a deep breath as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

“Why do the titans exist?why are they alive and why do they keep killing us?when will it end?when will we truly win?we lose so many scouts everyday and I’m so sick of it.sick of seeing my comrades,my friends die at the hands of those monsters!”she rambled on.

But Hange heard and understood every single word.Never had they ever felt more in tune with one of their cadets,for every single thing that Nym had just said,they had thought to themselves numerous times before.

“Ive lost so many friends,and it breaks my heart,they believed in something greater,something more than life within these walls,and their hopes were rewarded with nothing but death.i feel so...so alone Hange.and im just.so.tired of it.”Nym finished.

At this Hange wrapped their arms around her and enveloped her in the biggest,warmest most comforting hug Nym had experienced in a while.and this made her sob silently.

“I’m sorry Nym,I’m sorry you had to go through that and I’m mostly sorry about the fact that i cant guarantee that it wont happen again.but no matter what,i promise to protect you to the best of my abilities.i cant promise you that you wont have to watch death taking your comrades away but i promise to keep you safe from his grasp.Nym i swear with all my heart that i will do anything in my power to keep you safe,and thats a promise i intend to honour until my dying breath”they said while stroking their young friend’s hair in an attempt to calm and console her.

Nym looked up at them and smiled a smile which was filled with gratitude respect and adoration for her superior.

Hange seeing this gave her one last kiss on the forehead and helped Nym in talking off her ODM gear.

Once they were done,hange placed their goggles back on their eyes and wrapped and arm around their young companion’s shoulders.

“ now come on cadet,lets get you all cleaned up,its almost dinner time”

“Thank you hange,it really means a lot.” Said nym.

“ always,and anytime dear.ill be here for you no matter what”replied the commander. And with that they walked off to get ready for supper.

[anythingandeverything1d]

Naps

You were laying backstage on the couch in Harry’s room. He was out on stage doing sound rehearsal and your eyes were barely staying open. You yawned and scrolled through instagram. The past few weeks had been a lot, you were always on the road, touring around with Harry and dealing with the fans, fame, and paparazzi. You loved that you were in a position to watch Harry perform and travel alongside him. You were beyond proud of the performer he had become in the last few years. You also loved getting to spend so much time with him, whether you were sight seeing or chilling on the tour bus, you had gained so many more memories with him it was crazy. On the other side of things, you hadn't been home in probably 6 months. You missed your family, you had never really been away from them for more than a month or so at a time. You missed your friends back home, and you missed the calmness that was associated with home. It had been hard on you, in fact you really hadn't slept more than a few hours since the first week of Harry’s tour. Traveling from place to place was a lot especially when you had a hard time transitioning and sleeping in new unfamiliar places. You were always tired, and that made you feel like you were bringing Harry down. “There you are.” Harry said walking in with a smile. He jumped on the couch next to you and kissed your cheek. 

You smiled at him and traced his butterfly tattoo distractedly. “How was sound check?” you asked without looking up.

“It was good, I just wish that I could interact more from the stage, theres just no good way around it.”

You looked up at his furrowed brows and expression and smiled. “The fans know if you could interact more with them you would. Plus, we don't want anything crazy happening to you.”

“I know, it’s just hard.” You kissed his lips and smiled before yawning largely. “Tired already? We've only been awake for a few hours.” Harry then got very worried. “Are you sick? Do you have a fever?” he pressed his hands against your forehead. “You don't feel warm..”

“Harry.” You said laughing and pushing his hand away. “I’m fine, just a little tired. I just didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Again? You haven't slept well in a long time.”

You sighed and crawled onto his lap. “I know, I just don't do well sleeping in new places. Something about not having my bed and pillows and blankets. I don't know its hard to explain.”

“I know baby...I’m sorry its been hard on you.” Harry looked down with a frown.

You tilted his chin up and kissed him a few times, “Don't be sorry Haz, I wouldn't trade this for anything.”

“I just don't like that you are struggling and not living your best life..”

“Harry really I’m fine, its just an adjustment to my sleep schedule..” You kissed him longer this time and smiled. “Plus..” you kissed him again. “There are definitely perks” another kiss to his lips, this time a little longer. “To being on tour with you all the time.” He smiled and sat up, holding you tightly and kissing you back.

“Oh yeah?” He trailed kisses down your neck, sucking gently on the sensitive skin by under your ear. He gently bit down on the skin and you sucked in a breath.

“Yeah....” you whispered against his lips. He tugged your t-shirt off and grinned, the dimples you love spreading across his cheeks. He pulled you closer. 

“What-” he kissed your nose. “Are those” A kiss on your cheek. “Perks?” He kissed you firmly, pulling your now swollen lip with his teeth. Your hands were tanging in the curls at the base of his neck. You kissed him harder, your tongue entering his mouth and wrapping around his. You pulled back slightly to look at him, he was smiling, his green eyes shining as he looked into yours. 

You kissed him softly. “This is definitely-” you yawned. “One.” Harry sighed and smiled.

“I have an idea.”

“What?” you asked suspiciously.

“We are going to take a nap. Right now, right here.” 

“Har-”

“Nope.” Harry pushed you off his lap, standing up and walking around. He dropped his jeans to the ground and grabbed a blanket. He tossed you his t-shirt and smiled. “Go ahead-change.” You just stared at him. “(y/n) I know you sleep better in my clothes. Put it on we are going to sleep.” You still were looking at him when he laughed, kneeled down, and dropped the t-shirt over your head. He kissed your nose and laid on the couch, patting the space next to him. You sighed and gave in, crawling over to where he was. Harry was laying on his back so you cuddled up next to him. Your head on his chest, your legs tangled in with his. He threw the fuzzy blanket over the two of you and smiled. He kissed the top of your head. “Now, close your eyes.”

You looked up at him, “But Im not even-” another yawn. “That tired.”

“Baby you are.” He laughed softly and played with your hair. “You need a nap, and we are going to take one.” The heat from Harry’s chest was rolling against your cheek. His heartbeat was pounding into your ear. His fingers trailed through you hair, down your arm and across your back. Your eyes were slowly closing and eventually you were out. You woke up a few hours later, drool pooling across Harry’s chest.  A soft snore coming from his mouth. You looked at him closely. His hair was getting long and it was dropped across one of his eyes. His mouth was hanging wide open and you laughed quietly trying not to wake him. His grip on you was tight and you knew there was no way of standing up without waking him so you rested your head on his chest again. You felt so much better than you had before. If only you could sleep like that every night, you would be set for life. Your fingers traced his tattoos and you smiled as he slowly came too. You pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

“Morning handsome.” you smiled tapping his nose.

“Someones in a much better mood.” He commented, sitting up a little more and  running his fingers across your arm.

“I feel like a new person.” you nodded earning a bigger smile from him.

“I’m glad.” he kissed your lips, lingering a little more. “So...does that mean we can finish what we started earlier?”

You kissed him again, now in a sitting position on his lap. You pulled his shirt over your head and smiled leaning in close to kiss him again. “I think we better...” 

Harry laughed and pulled you against him, kissing your lips and unhooking your bra. “Maybe we should nap everyday” he joked. You just laughed kissing him harder and feeling immensely grateful for the curly haired angel in your life.

---

Got a request for something like this so thanks for the request! xoxo

[stimmypaw]

Stimmypaw reads Darkest Night! The fourth text post!

Back with these uh live reading comments! Remember those? yeah! I'm on the fourth book of Warrior Cats: A Vision of Shadows :D I read The Apprentice's Quest and Thunder and Shadow and Shattered Sky and now!! I'm here :D and boy did I have a time. Click read more to see it!

NEEDLETAIL?????????

Needletail???????????

What?????

OH???????

Wh THIS GUY IS TALKIN 2 DEAD PEOPLE????

HOW WHO IS THAT

OH MY GOD

These guys are weak and dumb skyclan is epic and sharing the territory with them is good, but of course sparkpelt isn't dealing well with change wink wink nudge wink nudge nudge huh???? (this is a nod to how I project into her and say shes autistic)

I am getting anxious for tinycloud SERIOUSLY how much longer until those kits??? Everyday you show up and its WOW my tummy ssure is HUGE AND BULGING I just Wonder Oh When They'll Be Born, probably pretty soon!!! :) and then they arent!!!! Birth dammit!!!

Cherryfall cut the sick and hurt cats some slack jeez youre Fine, youre not feeding half the forest and you have THREE medicine cats ready to help you if youre not feeling well

Bastard Cherryfall I hate you /lh

Dovewing and Tigerheart have relationship drama again. What is UP with those two I simply do not understand them

Watching Bramblestar trying to control this bizarre situation is actually funny he is so close to screaming "PLEASE dont be mad :c"

SOON WHEN???? JUST KIT THOSE KITTENS DAMMIT

Get her, Alderheart

They LITERALLY said something about sharing the territory, they were like "Stars have five points baby and we need those 5 clans togetherrrr" what else do these cats want??? I know its a big change but its necessary

Wait everyone shut up that cat is named Podlight this is so important to me

Dang these cats are really still struggling :c I wish they didnt blame each other

Harestar is so cool

What the FUCK mistystar????

God what a disaster of a gathering Starclan is gonna be so pissed everyone is doing the opposite of what they should

I was holding my breath oof

I hope thunderclan gives some territory too thats too small a space for Skyclan

Oh boy oh boy oh boy i am Anxious for these Kitties

Violetpaw is me having nightmares every night

Macgyver is a heavily gringue name and I have No Clue how to say it how the hell do you say it

Update its either Mick Guyver or Mac Guyver apparently

Its fun to see how different the sisters are from one another, I love them both

I also love their mom with the name identical to puddleshine wish I got to meet her

IM CRYING BRO........M...MDB.....NFBANN.....VIOLETPAW BELONGS MY DARLING MY DAUGHTER

Sadly Twigpaw is for gender binarism 😔 /j

Twigpaw is often in her thoughts and doesn't pay attention to anything around her and I love her for that

Bad news Finpaw is gonna lose his tail, good news I can draw his tail fin-shaped

Puddleshine surgeon moment!!!

I love Graystripe and Millie

And I love that being flirty is a part of Sparkpelt's personality, I don't know what Alderheart is talking about she's always been dandelion-headed

Ok this is epic, I’m glad we’re breaking gender roles in Warrior Cats my heart dropped when the books called Briarlight cr*ppled, that’s the thing they promised not to do anymore recently right? I’m not sure but, I could use some uh less ableism on my Warrior Cats, the series is old but the newer books should be better, so yeah, good modernize these cats babyyy

OH COOL Skyclan journey!!! Fun I hope they find someone :] also fuck Molewhisker and Cherryfall bastards.

Jayfeather is gonna miss Alderheart too much for him to leave hehehe

ALL of Starclan showed up just to call out Riverclan pahahah

oooo is shadowclan haunted?????

FINALLY TINYCLOUD IS KITTING YES GOD YES GO QUEEN GOOOO!!!!

I wonder why Twigpaw wants to stay behind, there has to be more than just the camp stuff

"I wish I were more positive like Twigpaw, but at least I'm just as scarred by the death of my loved ones as my dad :] I like being like him"

Violetpaw witnesses a car crash 😔 that was a bit messy what happened to those cars also why the hell was one of them smaller was it a bike??? Or ???? Idk what's up with it!!!

Needletail just happens to have slow-down turned on for her on the discord chat so she can only say like a few words each hour :/ why the hell is she here tho Violetpaw needs to get OVER your death!!!!

This short exchange has made me love Dewpaw

Also, I love Twigpaw, I still wonder why she stayed behind tho

Ahh, is it cus she feels too estranged from her family :c ? I wish her mom was around maybe that would help

Jee Twigpaw be a tad more empathic, I can see Twigpaw struggles with that sometimes

You can't cheer him up right now he's grieving, just find him on common ground, talk to him, don't try to make him happy just try to keep him company

Oh wow finpaw that's a dangerous thing to say I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure to never be sad because people like her because she's happy and her being sad would be bad

ALSO I JUST REMMEMBRERD UH TWIGPAW MENTIONED BRIARLIGHT BUT BERRYNOSE IS RIGHT THERE???? HE IS RIGHT HE DIDNT DIE OFF SCREEN IM SURE OF IT WAIY

BERRYNOSS IS RIGHT THERE I CHDCKED!!!! HE LOST HIS TAIL TOO AND HES A GREAT WARRIOR, TWIGPAW!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED IT ITS MORE RELATABLE

Okay I'm glad they're getting along this is nice

Oh look twigpaw you Are like your father :] this is cute

Skyclan begins to fish competitively I'm glad

I like it when medicine cats bicker about their leader's behaviors ehheheh, Jayfeather talking about how weak Shadowclan is, Alderheart being annoyed at his father for wanting to stay silent, the others worried about the tensions this is all cheff the kisser

Jayfeather spitting the truths about how Starclan doesn't know shit, and he is very much one to speak

Puddleshine: Rowanstar stepped up the patrols :c

Leadstar: He has warriors enough for that?? Damn good for him

Dang poor Skyclan I hope they manage stuff better soon

Oooo the girls are fighting!!!

Alderheart starclan anxiety time dang

Sheep :]

Needletail :[

I'm sad Ravenpaw isn't here, this is a lovely reunion scene but knowing Barley will be alone when they all leave breaks my heart

Oh, maybe not, but if they stay I'll be sad also cus Skyclan needs its warriors

Aw man, Twigpaw is struggling :c

OUCH

I WANT SKYCLAN 2 SWIM THO......

Omg crimes

That sounds kinda possessive twigpaw!

DOVEWING?????

T

WhHAHAGAHAHA WHERE DID THAT COME FROM

omg tigerstar 2 real

Whats he gonna do to rowanstar???

ALRIGHT THATA OVER THEN PAHAHA

Aw, I'm glad they're having fun tho, and that twigpaw sees herself as skyclan

Alderheart, as he meets someone for the first time in a while: ARE YOU OKAY???

Blackstar protagonist moment

The medicine cats: our gods are toying with us again and destiny is uncertain

Leaders: I cannot DO this right now PLEASE leave and let me care for The Real Issues

Alderheart: YOU WILL hang out at my house Willowshine this isn't up for debate

Riverclan suffered enough and it's their turn to throw a tantrum about it, honestly good for them hsghahah

Alderheart asks his father to go on a quest to check people's feet

WHAT THR HELL IS A CANTANKEROUS

Alderheart and Willowpelt sitting there watching Shadowclan fight

This is really funny

HEWWO????

Puddleshine, in his eyes: help help

I love Skyclan

Ok this sounds like it's gonna be very very fun

Mission impossible: Escape From São Paulo

Oh, is Fallowfern deaf? That's so poggers omg I wanna see more of her

Edit: fallowfern is an elder that lost her hearing with age and retired after that happened :/ boring

I love leafstar so much

Juniperclaw: aren't you gonna punish her????

Leafstar: why

Juniperclaw: when I tell rowanstar he's gonna be pissed

Leafstar: don't tell him

Juniperclaw: the fuck is wrong with you and your clan??? Where is everyone???????

Leafstar: busy

Icon

I don't trust abled people specially able-bodied people telling disabled people they just have to train harder and feeling sorry for yourself won't help.

But this is the closest to a positive message to disabled people we have ever had in warriors so I guess I'll take it but I want better

IVYPOOL!!!💖💖💖💖💕

Dang ivypool what a way to show someone you miss them hahaha

Twigpaw: uhhhh how's dovewing?

Ivypool: what do you mean did she do something illegal I'm sure she did

Ivypool is a seriously funny character WHY are you yelling at the young adult about your sisters illegal activities she doesn't know anything about it!!!!

Alderheart goes on an adventure

Feet inspector on the road!!!!

Jasper is so funny I love him

Omg what's he got against clan cats??? What's his sad backstory????

YEESSSS SPARKPELT MY LOVE 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕

Sparkpelt your opinion sucks but I love you

I'm really really glad they had this moment this is really sweet, they hadn't talked for a while but this is genuine like, we hadn't had this sort of relationship in so long in the books with just, dialogue yknow??? THEYRE TALKING ABOUT THINGS

And the pause Sparkpelt takes between her speaking to fix what she's saying "I'm sorry for saving you :c no wait uhh not exactly but like" this is so good so natural so fun I love you sparkpelt

I get why she has a diferent opinion on Skyclan it's good for someone close to Alderheart to have a different mindset from him and for him to have someone like uh be opposites from him a lil yknow contrats his characteristics makes both siblings fun round and full of kitty do you get what I'm saying???

I love this

I love Sparkpelt, love her lil anxious moments, love her, love that she just wants to fool around with toms and enjoys Larksong but doesn't want to get serious you go girl

They wanted to write smart-ass they wanted to write smart-ass so bad

They're doing this in the rain?????

I'm quite certain Violetpaw is a young adult by this point its valid for her to go

Wh why did you let your cat out in the rain dude!!! When it comes back it's gonna dirty up the whole place it's wet out there!!!! And the cold is gonna get in the house!!!!!!!

I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH OH LORD

That was SO INTENSE AND SO FUNNY AND SO MUCH, IM SO GLAD SHE MADE IT I GOT SCARED

Oh this is so epic

That moment when your cat nearly dies and then it runs off and you go after it and then a bunch of other cats show up and start running with it

I hope Twigpaw can see the others soon

Glad to see her keeping her medicine cat knowledge ehehehe

???????

Sandynose I hate you you are so abled

Sandynose: I don't want my son to feel distanced from his peers so I'm distancing him from his peers

DOVEWING???

SANDYNOSE SHUT UP IM GOING TO KILL YOU ANS MURDER YOU

I'm so upset with Sandynose WHY isn't leafstar seeing this WHY DOESNG ANYONE SEE THIS SOMSONE PLEASE CONFORT AND LOVE MY CHILD TWIGPAW DOESNT DESERVE THIS

Angry sad upset why

Piscina

Thanks graystripe

Ok who's dying this time

Ok no one just a background cat got hurt he will survive otherwise it would be relevant

This was intense though what will happen now???

YES FINALLY

Oh this is lovely so good they're here!!! The rest of skyclan has arrived and we are all happy together

That dream felt good

NEEDLETAIL??? AGAIN

Where were you at!!!!

What!!!

Check this man's feet how many toes are there this could be good

What

Hegshahwha what the fuck is up with this guy

Okay I like him

Ohhh THATS tree

Change your name if you don't like it you sound trans already

Yeah nothing makes one smarter like dying

This is very fun I'm excited for more of whatever happening

Twigpaw :c

HIS SNIFFLES

Oh no

Hhhhnn I want Twigpaw to be happy so bad, I hate seeing her struggles

Sandynose you are so evil and very detested by me

You can and you SHOULD feel angry at Sandynose he SUCKS and he is being needlessly mean at you!!!!! There are much better ways to bring up the possibility that maybe you'd be happier with thunderclan!!! Fuck off Sandynose

Oh so Snowbush hasn't improved, maybe he will die?

Poor Alderheart

Oh fuck there he goes

Yeah

Aw man, rip to the background cat

That was a heavy death too

Aw, I was hoping the rest of Skyclan would show up before the gathering, maybe just after it???

I wonder what's going on in Shadowclan

TIGERHEARTS MISSING HUH???

The couple was kidnapped

HUH????

Oh my lord oh fuck

Can't anyone step up to lead why do they depend on Tigerheart so much???

Jesus christ

Alderheart kills his gods

This is so chaotic and funny I'm worried as hell for shadowclan but excited a lot is happening

HI TREE AGSGAHAH

Tawnypelt >:(

Puddleshine: WAIT DONT KICK HIM OUT, CHECK OUT HIS FREAKY FEET INSTEAD

Oh dear

Twigpaw :c

TWIGPAW :CCCC Man rememebr when I said I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure of being happy for others? yeah

GET OUT SANDYNOSE I DONT CARE YOURE BEING REASOMABLE FOR ONCE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LATER

:C

I'm so heartbroken for them

Uh pdhsgahab okay then

Bye finpaw

Wow that was easy for him

This is fun

I'm still sad as hell

Okay there's a lot going on right now wow

The owl scene was funny as hell to picture, this dramatic prophetic moment and the cats just "uuggh is that a prophecy??? Nooo"

Okay so

There's some shadowclan cats missing, considering the many sleekwhisker maps I'm sure she's up to no good but I have no clue what happened to the others and I hope they're okay

Wow! That was really something

Fantastic ending to a very good book its, definitely a different energy from the third but I'm really enjoying this I'm still excited as hell!!! I got worried things would get kinda bad from here but nope!!!! Very fun stuff for now this is very very good and I am enjoying it

This is definitely one of the most fun arcs I've read so far!!! The drama the stakes the little moments everything is tying together really well into a very fun story I'm enjoying a lot!

I worry for Twigpaw and hope for her happiness, and Violetshine too, hope her and Hawkwing deal well with missing her. Tree is being interesting. Alderheart wasn't much of a focus here but always fun to see him trying to solve the damn prophecy no leaders seem to care about. Mousewhisker was okay??? Lots of very fantastic turns for all events and uh let's see where this all goes next!!!

[belalugosisdeadness-blog]

A New Years Eve Story BenjiXEthan

“Come on Benji, just come to my new years party it’ll be fun. Everyone else is going to be there. Even Ethan.” A sing songy tune as Brandt rolls over Ethan’s name, “So what do ya say?” I hate parties they make me terribly horribly anxious and normally I wouldn't go, but I could hang out with Ethan. New Years Eve is very romantic I’ve been meaning to tell him how I’m feeling for a while, “I guess sure I’ll come. Do you want me to bring something?” my hand subconsciously finds my way to my hair and I brush it back. Brandt raises and eyebrow, “Nope, just look nice for Ethan.” Ugh Brandt. 

9:00 PM 

I’m bringing a pack of beer anyway. Just to spite Brandt also he has a terrible taste. Not really that great of a helper either. But Ethan, Ethan was going to be there. Ethan Hunt, his beautiful name just rolls off of my tongue. Everyday I talk to Ethan and it just keeps getting harder. I want to be with him. He’s so strong, I feel so protected in his arms. I’ve been dreaming of kissing him on New Years Eve as the ball drops in New York. I’m just walking down the street to Brandt's house when I hear,

“Hey, Benji!” I turn around in the direction of the voice

“Hey Luther!” I stop and wait for him to jog up to me.

“You going to Brandt’s party?” 

“Yep.” I hold up the beer. and we start to walk

“Heineken, good choice. You know Ethan is going to be there. Are you going to tell him?” 

“Luther I just you know how awkward it would be and well maybe -Oh look that's Brandt’s neighborhood right there.” We walk in and find Brandt’s house among the many we all up to the door and ring the bell. It opens, 

“Hey guys, I’m so glad you could make it!” Brandt opens the door with a smile he motions for us to come in and we walk into his house. It’s a typical modern house with beautiful wood floors I can see everyone is sitting on the couch crowding around the TV and then I see Ethan. He looks over at me and smiles bearing his pearly white teeth. He gets up from the couch and walks over. 

“Hey Benji!” 

Ethan and I sit down facing the TV with the beer on the table behind. I manage to spark up a decent conversation talk for a long time he asks me about myself and I ask him about himself. It just flows so naturally with Ethan. He used to take Ballet when he was younger! He talked about growing up and I stood and listened to him talk. He didn’t usually talk so much about himself, but after some careful coaxing it all came out at once. This was a moment that I wanted to stay in forever. If I had stayed right here forever right now I would be perfectly happy

10:00 PM 

We were talking everything was perfect Ethan was going on a long monologue about how much he hated his first grade teacher and then he looks back at me, “Hey, Benji I’ve been talking forever tell me about yourself.” It is true we’re friends, we work together, but thinking about it Ethan doesn’t know that much about me, 

“Well, um what do what do you want to know?” Ethan looks up to me, “Tell me about your love life.” I felt my cheeks blush a little and I felt my hand go straight to the front of my to brush through it out of embarrassment, “Um, okay I had a boyfriend his name was Andrew we were together for almost a year.” Andrew poor lad I miss him.

“Why aren’t you still together?”

Oh no. It’s because of Ethan, because I couldn’t be in a relationship when I loved someone else, “I’m sorry excuse me for a moment Ethan.” 

“Wait Benji, no, come back. I’m sorry that was out of hand I shouldn’t have said that can you just stay.” 

Ethan wants me to stay, “sure.” We sit in blank silence for a bit. Ethan seems to be just sitting enjoying the smiling faces of people watching the hockey game. However I’m truly upset. I love Ethan, but he just reminded me of Andrew and everything is so confusing. I truly hate parties why did I come. Every sound is echoing a thousand times and I can’t stand it. Im getting complete sensory overload, I feel like I'm going to scream at everyone here. Ethan is still right next to me I think I see him look up at me. My heart begins to race at the thought. I feel sick. I feel my hands shaking as sweat drips from my forehead. I need more beer. I reach to grab one when I feel a hand on my wrist. 

“Benji, we need to talk. I’m worried about you.” Ethan cuffs my wrist and drags me to the backyard. Ethan sits me down on the steps leading to the backyard and sits there with me, 

“Ethan what’s going on? I’m fine, I’m just not a party person is all.”

He looks me dead in the eyes to a point where it’s uncomfortable, “Benji, I’m sorry about earlier that was inconsiderate of me to say. People aren’t like files and I can’t just open them and get all the information I want.” 

Of course he apologizes perfect bloody Ethan Hunt. Should I look down and upset to make it dramatic? Should I just confront him? What would Ethan do? well maybe, “You’re just so perfect. You’re Ethan bloody Hunt and you could get any boy or girl or anything in between that you wanted. I had Andrew and I had to chose between him and my job and I ended up choosing my job because it’s not just the job Ethan. It you and how bloody perfect you are.” 

Ethan looks up, “You think I’m perfect?” 

11:00 

“Ethan, I’m just going to say everything I’m thinking right now and put it all out on the table because its too much for me to think right now. I hate parties. Can’t stand them I feel crowded and gross and they make me truly anxious and it’s like the whole world is closing in-” I stop Ethan pulls me into a hug a warm hug. He flexes his muscular arms around me and squeezes. His  long sleeved REO Speedwagon shirt protecting me from the cold. I feel a wave of calm wash over me like this was a thousand birthdays wrapped into one single moment. I could stay here forever. I turn and I hug him back. I carefully tuck my chin into his neck. 

“Benji, I can’t let anything happen to you. So I better just hold you for the rest of the night to keep you safe.” 

“I love you, Ethan.” Ethan lifts his head and suddenly our eyes meet. His brown eyes filled with golden specks of determination and love. 

“I love you too, Benji” he puts his chin back on my shoulder and I follow suit. We sit there for a while just relaxing in this moment. Except I can’t relax Ethan said he loved me. Ethan loves me. I feel like a giddy school girl, but I just might start jumping around. 

“Move it love birds.” Luther’s voice echoes. 

We look up and get off the stairs. Luther walks down and out to the yard. He’s setting up for the fireworks. He takes out so many different kinds and he fills a bucket with water. I get so excited watching everyone set up the fireworks i hardly notice Ethan wrapping his hand around mine as our fingers interlace. Luther looks up from placing all the fireworks about and looks to the door.

Brandt practically jumps out into the yard, “10!”

“9!” everyone starts to join in.

“8!” Ethan squeezes my hand a little tighter

“7!” He wraps around my waist

“6!” He rests his chin on my shoulder from behind me

“5!” Ethan spins me around to face him

“4!” I wrap my arms around his neck

“3!” his hands go to my hips

“2!” our foreheads touch 

“1!” Before I can even say happy new year Ethan pulls my lips into his and we share a beautiful kiss. Feeling his lips against mine is like pure heaven on earth. It feels like riding on a shooting star. I know that Ethan feels the same way as he squeezes my shoulder and pushes my head back towards his. We’re moving in sync with each other. I feel a jolt of electricity sparking through my entire body. My calf muscles start tightening and I feel like I could run a marathon. As people start to leave the yard we slowly pull away from each other resentful to break the kiss. We stand there foreheads touching we stand taking in the sounds of the night combined with the heat of each other’s breath suddenly Ethan breaks the silence, 

“My place?”

“Your place.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

[lotus-0398]

A/N:Hello! Im back with a new one. Ive been busy but hope you huys like it!

You can ask me anything and request anything if you like! ✨

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

You and Jin met in middle school. You were two years younger then him. He was your senpai in a way. He was alone and you sat by his side to make him company and thats where all started. You two love food, animals, coffee and other stuff. You two began to hang out and even though he graduated and moved to another school for high school. You two would still be in contact. You guys would hang out in arcades, at the pool, having picnic or just a sleep over in his house or yours. You guys were having the best days.

One day he came to you and told you he was a trainee at Big Hit. You were so excited and hugged him. You fully knew that was his dream and you were gonna be there to support him. Also you were beginning to have feelings for him. You dont want to be away from him, you want him to know that youll be there for him, that you care for him, you loved him and that he was everything to you. You didnt dare to tell him yet.

Months have passed, days, hours and you were close to all the members. You brought them food almost every day made by you so they will eat well. Also they debuted and they were being successful. You were happy to see Jins dream coming true, for you studying was hard but it was all worth it to have a future. Thank God you took clases online because you couldnt stand being in a room full of people and having to dress all days just to go to college was something you didnt want. But you could dress up all days for Jin. Yes you love him and still you havent confessed to him. You began to be very shy around him again and talking more to the others. Jin noticed this and one day he took you out of the practice room and placed you to the wall.

“Jin.. wh-whats wrong?”you stuttered. And looked down.

He looked at you and sighed” Why dont you talk to me so much? We used to talk a lot non stop.. did i did something wrong?” He said sad and you grabbed his hand

“No.. you havent done anything bad.. i just...”you kept silent. Thinking if you should tell him.

“Y/N... whats wrong? Is something bothering you?..i would do anything for you to be confortable you know?.. and i have something to tell you.. im gonna explode if i dont tell you.. i.”he bit his lips and looked at you in the eyes” i like you.. like a lot..and i cant stand you talking more with the others than me.. i know we dont like go together because now im a singer.. and having this life is difficult.. plus having someone its even more harder..i..”he kept silent. You looked at him.. you began to tear up and hugged him

“We can work this out.. i like you too.. Jinnie.. i.. ive fallen for you.. but i didnt know how yo say it to you. “You said all shy and he smiled widely.

“So.. you are telling me that.. like a year ago i could have tell you how i felt and we would be Girlfriend and boyfriend by now?”he got closer to you. You blushed immediately and nodded. He chuckled and placed a finger on your chin to make you look at him. He slowly got closer to you and your lips met. It was a sweet and tender kiss. It was better than you expected, he hugged you by the waist still kissing you gently and softly. After a few 5 minutes you two parted and immediately you hide your face in his chest. He laughed at your action and placed a kiss on your head.

“I have to go back sweetie.. ill text you or call you later okay? I love you..”he smiled and walked away waving at you. You only looked at him blushing and waving back at him.

Day by day your relationship was great, amazing, he was lovely, caring, made food for you and had the best dates. But there were times when you two fought because of his work. You knew it would be difficult but its more difficult when you see him on TV flirting with other women because thats his charm. You miss him so much, everyday. And the calls and text are less and less each day since they got even more famous. Going to USA, Japan, Europe and winning the billboard for the first time. You began to feel lonely in your home, you just wanted him to be there by your side. But even though distance is hard between a couple you knew he would never hurt you or chest on you. Besides his members wouldnt let him in any way.

4 years have passed already, four years of relationship, of good and bad moments. But you werent feeling good one day. You felt sick, your hair was falling constantly. You didnt know what was going on but you thought it was something you ate. So you didnt bother to go to a hospital. You told Jin and he immediately got home.

“Babe are you okay?? How do you feel?”he says softly.

“Im better.. but i still very sick..”you said softly..”can we cuddle? Ive missed you a lot... i feel lonely..”you said with tears and he hugged you.

“Im sorry... i know.. but bare with me babe.. im here.. imma do all i can to be here more often or bring you with me..”he says and you smiled softly.

You two cuddle until you fell asleep in his arms. He just admired you and brushed your hair when he noticed he had brought a lot of your hair in his hand. He was in shock. You were losing hair, this wasnt normal. Usually you dont lose that many hair when brushing it. He began to worry even more. He sighed and kissed your cheeks. “I love you..”he said softly..

“I love you too...”you said in your sleep and he giggled.

Three months have passed and you felt even more sick than ever. But you didnt tell anything to Jin. You just pretended to be okay for him. Today you were gonna have a date with him. He sent you a box with all you should wear today. You were very excited so you prepared yourself for today, doing makeup, hair and everything. Jin knocked on the door and you went to open it up and there he was with a bouquet of sunflowers and chocolate. He looked so good in that pink button up shirt and black pants.

“Hello beautiful. How are you today? You look stunning..”he smirked and gave you the flowers.

You giggled and smiled”Thank you handsome. You look amazing, that color suits you..”you gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“Mm thanks. Shall we go princess?”he smiled and you nodded.

Both of you went out of the house. It was a very romantic and planned date, he was like a prince and taking good care of you. You loved him and that wasnt a doubt. You two had so much fun talking about everything, eating, drinking and suddenly the other members, your family and his got there. You frowned and looked at him quickly. He was on his knees and you gasped placing your hands on your mouth to hide it. You didnt expect this, you teared up and he began saying:

“Y/N.. we met in middle school in the cafeteria. You sat by my side and talked to me. You were my first friend and only one since then. We fell in love and began our love story 4 years ago. I cant imagine living without you. I promis to take care of you, to make you happy and be there for you always.. i knew from that start that i wanted to be with you forever. That you are the perfect one for me even thought we dont always match or get along in something’s. I love you and.. Y/N would you marry me?”he said wit the biggest smile. You looked at everyone around with tears in your eyes, you looked at him again and nodded non stop. He stood up placed the ring on your finger and hugged you. “I love you princess..” he said and you started crying even harder.

“Also babe.. i want to plan our wedding for the next month. I want to be your husband immediately. “He smiled and you laughed.

“Hahaha really? I mean if you want me that badly why not do it in two weeks?” You said joking

“Thats not bad! Lets do it! I already have things that i want. Lets discuss it later okay?” He said.

You blinked a few times and smiled.”okay..”

He kissed you again softly and you responded. After the dinner and date, he took you home and he made love to you.

Two weeks have passed and today was the day were you and Jin were getting married, everything was planned, it was gonna look beautiful and it was a simple wedding. The most expensive of it all would be the honeymoon and both of your dresses and his. Your friends were helping you get ready. One did your makeup, the other your hair, other helped you put on the dress. You looked perfect, like a princess thats gonna get married to her prince charming. You smiled widely looking at yourself in the mirror.. You still felt very sick but you did all you could to be fine today in your wedding. The girls told you to go since it was time and off you go.

Everything went perfectly and now you were at the reception to dance, eat and have a good time. You were in your second dress, more light and easy to walk. You were looking at Jin dancing with his band mates. You smiled widely but suddenly you felt dizzy, sick, headache, and you passed out.

Jin noticed quickly and went to you. Trying to wake you up but nothing helped. He quickly carried you and went off to the hospital.

*FlashBack to one week ago*

You went to the doctor to get a check up. Because you were still very sick and your hair lose was worrying you too. So you went, waited to be checked. When you went inside and they checked you, gave you a paper to do all the exams and test. You went that same day.. and in a matter of 30 minutes your resulta were available. You went to the doctor again and he gave you the news that you had Cancer. You looked at the doctor in shock at first, but you slowly came to realize what he just said. Tears started to fall, silence among the office and you cried hard. But the worst thing is that the cancer is very advanced and its taking over your body. You cried even more. You stood up and went out, you paid and got to your car. You cried non stop on the way home and you didnt tell anything to Jin. You want him to be happy, you would do anything in your hands for him..

*End of the Flashback*

When he arrived at the hospital, they immediately took you. They did blood test and everything. After a few hours they came to him and said the news that you had terminal cancer. He kneeled down and cried hysterically. His band mates came in that exact moment and hugged him.

“Jin Hyung.. whats wrong?”said JK

“Tell us.. we are here for you..” said RM..

“Y/N...Y/N has terminal cancer “ he cried out loud and they all looked at each other.

“You need to be strong for her Jin hyung..she needs you now more than ever..”Suga said and brushed his hair.

“Suga is right Hyung” said Taehyung.”Its gonna be tough.. but we are with you too Hyung..”he said softly.

Jin stopped crying loud and tried to calm down. He nodded and hugged them.”Thank you guys.. thank you..” he sat down and sighed hiding his face crying again in silence. He felt useless as if he didnt do anything for you. He wasnt home often, the fights, he remembered them all. “i need to do something for her.. i feel like an idiot..i need to show her how much i love her!..”he said softly to his band mates. They all looked at one another and RM smiled.

“I know what you can do.. write your feelings.. what you want to let her know..”RM said softly

“Yeah! Thats a great idea..”said suga”I can help you with the beat.”

Jin looked at them and thought about it” i think is the best way to express my feelings for her.. i love my wife.. i love her.. i.. cant live without her..”he says softly”She is everything to me.. she has been in all stages of my life.. “

Suddenly the doctors came and spoke to Jin. They told him everything and let him go see you. He quickly went and opened the door to see you with the oxygen tubes on your nose, your hair still on fleak, he approached to you and kissed your forehead. “Jagi im here.. i love you..”he said..

You opened your eyes and looked at him smiling softly”Hey honey.. i love you..more.. im sorry i didnt say anything to you..”you teared up and he hugged you.

“Shh.. its okay.. its okay.. im gonna make you more happy.. im gonna do everything for you.. we will go through this until the end.. i love you so much “he kissed you softly and you kissed back with tears. You really love this man very much. He is everything to you.

After two weeks you were released from the hospital. You guys went to have a dinner, then to the park and went home.

“Honey... i want to watch a movie and cuddle up with you...”you said with a low voice.

“What do you want to watch? Something romantic or something funny?”he smiled at you.

“Hmm... lets watch comedy. I want to hear your laughter. “You said with a smile and his heart broke. Why? Because he forgot how to laugh ever since he found out about your cancer. He wasnt himself and he would only pleased you. He looked at you and nodded

“Okay Jagi! Go to bed and ill be right there with the movie alright?”he went to look up a movie and you went to the bedroom. After a few minutes he went up and saw you on the bed all dressed up in a sexy silk short bed dress. He smiled widely. “Wow.. baby... you look amazing!”he hugged you tight and kissed your forehead.”so sexy.. you know how much that dress drives me crazy..”he smirk and you blushed.

“Haha.. it wasnt my intention..or maybe it was” you winked and he laughed hard. You smiled and hugged him. You loved and missed his laughter.. “i like it when you laugh... i know that you are trying to make everything for me.. to make me more happy.. to be with me and pleased me... but lets be happy together.. lets be pleased together.. yeah? It makes me happy seeing you laugh.. lets go normal again? Yeah? Lets just live the moment. Can you do that for me?”you grabbed his face and looked at him with teary eyes and he looked at you with teary eyes too. Jin just nodded and kissed you softly. But that kissed became a needy one and hungry. That ended up in bed making love to one another.

The next morning he had to work so he left you a letter, he made you breakfast and did everything before work. When he got to the company the guys were waiting for him.

“Jin hyung!”said suga very cutely for some reason.

“Oh.. hey Suga.. whats up?”he said relaxed.

“I fixed a bit the song you composed and its great. I cried so much just so you know”he smiled with his gummy smile.

“Really?? Wow.. thank you!”said Jin happy.

“Now you need to go to RM”suga said and Jin did as he said. He knocked on the door of his studio.

“Namjoon? Are you here? Its me..” said Jin

“Jin Hyung! Come on in.. Jhope just picked the beat and now we need to record” Rm looked at him.”You okay?”

“Yeah im okay. And thank you for helping me.”he smiled .

“Anything for you and your wife Hyung”Rm smiled”Now lets work”he giggled and Jin nodded.

They began the recording process, they record plenty more to make sure he was doing it right. Then the hearing if its okay, fixing mistakes, etc. After 9hr working and doing everything they finished it and it was done and good to go. He smiled and went home. When he arrived you were in the bathroom vomiting blood. You didnt felt good. Your cancer was killing you, it was advancing.

“Jagi? Are you here love?”he said softly. You didnt respond. “Baby? “He ran quickly to your bedroom, you werent there, he went to the bathroom and there you were sitting, looking all weak and pale. He bit his lips trying not to cry and sat down by your side rubbing your back.”You okay? Need to go to the hospital?”he said softly and you said no with your head. He picked you up and hugged you. He walked to the bedroom and laid you there softly, then he cuddle you up to his chest.”Jagi... i want you to hear me.. can you?”he saids with a smile and kissed your forehead. You just nodded weakly.

He began to sing softly.

‘We're too different

You know that well

We aren't able to embrace

Each other's realities

 "I don't understand"

"I don't remember"

Words that will always just be words

I don't expect them

 I love you (x5)

To your warm touch...

 I love you, I love you

I love you, I love you

I love you, I love you

 To your warm touch...

 Please hold me

Please catch me’

You were crying softly and he felt your tear since the were falling on to his shirt.

“Dont cry Jagi.. i love you”he kissed you softly and you responded the same way. You loved this man so much. He was everything to you and you are everything to him. After a while both of you went to sleep. It was a peaceful night until you got up and ran to the bathroom. You were feeling more ill than ever and began to vomit and fell on the floor of the bathroom. “Agh... mm...”you tried to get up but you didnt have strength, hou felt your vision getting more blurry and blurry until you passed out. Jin immediately heard something hit the floor and ran to the bathroom. There you were all weak and unconscious. He panicked but tried to relax. He picked you up and soon he was driving to the hospital crying non stop. He texted his band mates. He got to the hospital and they took you. He just sat in the waiting room and cried in silence. The boys got there as soon as possible, saw him and hugged him tight, all of them and Jin broke crying out loud. “I dont want to lose her... i cant lose her please...”he said with a crack on his voice.

“Shhh she will get better hyung”said Jimin.

“Try to stay calm okay?”said Namjoon.

After a few hours the doctors came and talked to Jin. You were in a room but they said you wont make it. He froze and bit his lips. They had you in intensive care but you were no longer in the body. You were not gonna wake up. He immediately went to see you. He grabbed you hand softly, kissed it, kiss your forehead and your lips.”Jagi... i dont know if youll hear me but.. here i go.. i love you with all my heart... the day i first met you was.. like magic.. i fell in love with you in an instant. Youre my everything... with you i have it all.. without you. Im empty... i love you so damn much.. if i lose you ill lose my mind but... dont fight if you cant no more... if you have to leave me do it.. i know youll take care of me from heaven.. i know youll be watching me and supporting me.. i.”he broke crying but tried to finish” im so glad i met you and have you as my wife.. youre the love of my life forever and ever. Ill miss you..”he kissed your lips softly and when he finished kissing you.... you passed away. He could hear the machines going blank. He bit his lips hard and cried softly, he hugged you one last time. He went out the room and the boys were there outside.

“Hyung! What happened?”said Jungkook.

“She... she is not with us anymore..she passed.. away..”his lips trembled and tears were falling down his cheeks. Everyone gasped and their eyes went wide. They immediately hugged him.

Months have passed since you passed away, Jin was okay but he was missing his other part: you. They were on tour and nobody knew you passes away. Only Bighit employees and the guys. He misses you so much. When they went up stage and sang all of the song in this new comeback and stuff. They got to the end were they all thank and say how much they love ARMY. Bow it was Seokjins turn.

“Armyyyyyyyyyy!!!”he said with a smile. “Aaaaarrrrmyyyyyyy”he said playing.” Um.. i wanted to thank all of you and the staff for everything. Army is the reason why i wake up.. and keep going.. because..”he started to tear up.” As you all knew i got married.. and my Jagi is everything to me... i loved that woman with all my heart. But for the past few months ago she got ill and.. she died three month ago..”his voiced cracked and cried in silent ,the others cried too.”she was everything to me.. i feel empty but.. im glad im here today in front of you Army.. and sing this special song that.. is dedicated to my wife..”he smiled with tears and he began to sing ‘I love you’.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed! 😭💜

[crisspezmemories]

within these branches (rewrite)

rewrite of my first fic woo love that

sorry this took me like ten years!! i’ve had zero writing motivation and also life things (i’ll add a read more thing when im on pc)

this isnt edited at all whoops

The streets were deserted and the city quiet as the first hours of a new day rose on Ann Arbor. It was just the day after the anticipated reunion, numerous members of Team StarKid packed into hotels across the town.

Lauren’s phone brightened with a small buzz as a new text appeared on the screen. She sleepily sighed, face driven into her pillow while her hand reached for the device. She turned to face the screen with squinting eyes as she read the message displayed.

Darren Criss

let’s meet up?

Lauren frowned, tilting her head back to think before she replied or even decided to at all. She still kept her guard up despite the years past, always wary of what he could do to her.

Darren Criss

I have gluten-free muffins?

She snorted at his remark. It only ever took few words for Darren to convince her to do anything. It was the little things that made her love him, and that hadn’t changed years after.

Lauren Lopez

where?

Darren Criss

our tree. it’s been a while since it was just us

Lauren Lopez

fine. but if i get caught by a serial killer the blame is on u.

Darren Criss

noted.

—

Their tree existed as a faint reminder of everything they used to be. The I love you’s still echoed in its branches, and the trunk still conformed where two lovers used to lay. The memories are encaptured in the curves of its bark, never quite ready to fade away.

Lauren shuffled through the entrance of the park, her scarf tucked just under her nose. It’s been seven years, but she still remembered how to navigate through the path. She buried her hands in her pockets, carefully following the trail she used to know.

She spots him leaning against a park light, a backpack slung over his shoulders with a blanket nestled under his arm. The first thing Darren does is hand her a muffin, a smirk on his face as he laid out the blanket.

“Cute look today Lopez,” he teased, “I think the rat nest hair makes a good touch.”

Lauren scoffed, elbowing his arm. “If you didn’t hear, some fucker woke me up at three in the fucking morning.”, she snapped back, a smile on her face in contrast as she sat down.

Darren rolled his eyes and chuckled as he took a seat next to her. The comfortable nature between them seemed to be the one thing that never changed. It was harmless jabs and careless jokes, the long philosophical discussions and debates that never went away.

He gazed in amazement the same way he used to when Lauren was his. She looked as if she hadn’t aged a day since 2009, a brilliant youth in her eyes left untouched. There was a brief moment where her hair fell in her eyes, and Darren was tempted to move it.

Lauren crushed the wrapper and looked up at Darren.

“So, why’d you want to meet tonight?” she questioned, a particular softness in her voice

“Just to...talk about things, I guess..” he admitted, opting to avoid eye contact.

.“And of all places…?”

“Maybe being back on campus made me a little nostalgic.”

“Darren, you know I’m dating Joey-“

“I know, I know.” he reassured, “Not like he rubs it in my face all the fucking time or anything.”

Lauren shrugged, “Sounds like you’re jealous.”

Darren tilted his head back for a moment. “It’s not everyday your best friend starts dating someone you still love”, he returned the shrug, “but who wouldn’t be jealous either way?”

He started to fiddle with his fingers. “Besides the point...Are you even happy with him?”

Lauren looked him in the eyes. “He treats me right. Isn’t that enough?”

Darren opened his mouth to speak before closing it shut. For once in his life, there wasn’t an excuse at hand.

“If I could go back...”, he muttered, “I would.”

The moment quickly dissipated, another memory to pretend to forget.

—

Random debates and talks of each others’ lives ensued as the sky began to lighten. Darren sat up and peaked at the rising sun.

“We should get going now. People might start up to wake up soon.”

Lauren nodded. “Good point. I’m sure Joey won’t wake up until around noon, though…” she trailed.

“Is this your excuse to hang out with me, Lo?” he joked, grinning widely.

“Ha ha,” she responded sarcastically, shoving Darren. “We’re all packed up though, Criss. It’s time to leave.”

“One second, I think I forgot something.”

Darren quickly pulled Lauren in, tilting her chin upwards as he bent down for a kiss. He sighed into her lips, gripping her face harder.

It’s only seconds before it becomes clashing teeth and bitten lips, hands pulling the others hair in a sense of urgency. It acted as if it were the words never spoken and all the feelings left behind, a sick chemical combination that had started its reaction.

It only lasts a few moments longer before Lauren pulls away, Darren finally brushing her hair out of her face.

“We never had a proper ending anyways, did we?”

Lauren looked away before he could tell her eyes were glassy, letting out a small laugh. Darren eyed the sidewalk, not much left to say.

She built up the courage before placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll see you around, Darren.”

He displayed a sad smile as he watched her leave his line of sight.

“I love you”, he murmured.

[tizzabianca]

It’s been three weeks since I made a “Life Lately” post meaning bits and pieces of my recent memories are floating everywhere. A lot has happened over those three weeks so this is my attempt in recalling those ganaps, bullet style:

Reunion with friends. I met up with both my college and high school friends. Kim, Reigner and I had samgyup then dessert at Spiral afterwards. It has only been months since I last saw my Santugon kapatids but like old times, there was never a dull moment with those two, even if sometimes I can’t relate with their conversation because both of them are working already. But that’s okay because that means they are obliged to treat me haha! I also met up with Sher and Alli whom I haven’t seen for eons! I’m glad they’re still the same people I’m comfortable talking with about anything and everything. We all agreed to do it a monthly thing, hopefully my schedule (and wallet) will permit.

A lot of pigging out session. With Lally, mostly. I don’t if it’s stress eating or what but we are always hungry. There’s not a single day I wouldn’t ask Lally if she has food and inviting her to eat outside when we’re dismissed early. Though I need to cut down on food because I can feel and see myself getting 10000x heavier. And since I don’t get to go to the gym with Reiner anymore, I need to be more disciplined with what I eat and working out after school. 

Real patients in the ward. Back in second year we already encountered some patients during PDWW (physical diagnosis ward work) but those are “actors” only, meaning they’re not really sick, just pretends to be one depending on our module. For example during our cardio module, our patient would complain of a heart problem and we are tasked to perform physical examination according to the patient’s chief complaint. But now we are given real patients and we get to rotate to different departments namely pediatrics, surgery, Ob-gyn, EBM or evidence-based medicine, and internal medicine. I had my rotation in pedia first and my first ever real and pediatric patient is a one month old infant. I was so caught off guard because I was expecting at least a 2 year old patient but we were presented with a tinnier human being. It was intimidating at first because I see infants as something fragile (because they really are) but eventually I got the hang of it. I got to hold the baby and do special maneuvers on her to test any developmental delay or deficit. It was stressful and overwhelming but it was a good learning experience. My second pediatric patient was a 4 year old (I think) little boy and I have to say he was harder to deal with than our one month old because you really need to get him to trust you so he can be comfortable and cooperative with the physical exam. I had to let him and ask him to draw as a distraction and as a way to test his motor development. I even lent him my iPad which was an effective distraction. You really have to be extra patient and creative when it comes to dealing with kids. My next rotation was surgery and my first surgical patient is still a pediatric one but who had surgery for thyroglossal duct cyst. Last Saturday, we were tasked to interview an IM patient who has chronic kidney disease for psych assessment and that was the most enjoyable patient I had so far. She was 57 years old and unlike the other patients, she wasn’t cranky at all! Maybe it’s because she was about to be discharged already. Just from a 2-hour interview with her I can already say she is an optimistic person with a very loving family. I wish she do get well so she can spread more happiness to others. I never got to tell her but she really touched my heart with her life story. This is why, no matter how tiring people thing third year is, I still look forward to what it has to offer. I appreciate now the concepts we only used to tackle during lectures because for this school year, I get to apply those learnings.

Beauty and skin care. I currently added two products to my skin care routine which are both for my acne marks. I’ve only been using it for a week and I haven’t observed any grand difference yet but hopefully it will deliver its purpose as I continue using it. I also started having this obsession with lipsticks especially red ones. I’m starting to think red is my color because it really looks nice on my skin tone since I’m really pale. I’m still on the lookout for the perfect everyday red shade because I don’t think I’m bold enough to wear my current red lipstick to school everyday without looking even more “intimidating”. 

Another exam week is approaching and my test results from last wave are satisfactory, even for my own standard. Third year has been nice to me so far in a sense that I feel like I am getting closer to becoming a real doctor. I know I still have a long way to go but I don’t mind taking the long road because after years of endless studying, I’m actually starting to love what I’m doing, and doing what I love. I hope you all find that passion that will make your entire existence whole and pure. 

[decodervon]

"You won't admit you love me and so, how am I ever to know?

You only tell me, 'Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps.'

A million times I ask you and then... I ask you over again, you only answer: 'Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps.'

If you can't make up your mind up, we'll never get started.

And I don't want to wind up being parted, broken-hearted.

So if you really love me, say 'Yes!'

But if you don't, dear, confess.

And please don't tell me, 'Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps.'"

Everyday, I understand more and more of what you went through. Wanting to reach out harder to someone emotionally distant. Hurting to speak the language your heart speaks to your mind. Thinking of hundreds of different things, scenarios, choices that could bring you closer.

It feels like every choice is another shot in the foot. I've never wanted someone's attention so badly. I'm starting to see the things I think you saw. The pain in you. Feeling you reject me in small ways. Wanting the space to distance your heart. Perhaps wanting someone else to give it to. I used to get so anxious at that thought, maybe I still do. I think your heart is mine. I.. want it to be mine. It's a sad denial I still cant let go of. It hurts not to be able to love you like I used to.

Some of the things you said before your production.. hurt. You told me to keep my feelings to myself. I understand what you meant. You couldn't deal with me emotionally at that moment with all the stress pushing on you. But there was a time where that's all we did, was share our emotions. Not like they were some burden or inconvenience. The last thing I want to do is guilt trip or make you feel bad. Those words hurt though. When did it get to the point where we felt we /had/ to solve each others problems?

The thing that solved my problems was seeing you. Spending time with you in bed. Laying on you on the couch. Seeing you focus on the road. Being around you in your energy was.. so relaxing. It's tough when you have that same anger and disappointment that I once felt for you. I feel you lashing out, lightly. I take my hits and move a step back. I deserve the hits. It's hard to stop from reaching out to you. I still think you're my person who I can tell my nightmares to. I'm unsure of every step I take towards you. If I felt more bitter, I would compare them to eggshells. But it feels more like they have to be perfect, to show you I'm worth your time. But I know I'm not in charge of that decision.

I... never wanted you to do things that you didnt feel. You told me that some of the things you did, you forced yourself to or you felt like I forced you to. I'm sorry if my Will manifested itself in a way that compelled you to do things like that. Hearing that makes me feel like the one and only time I coerced you into physicality. Makes me feel gross, bad. sick. I wanted your authentic love. I wanted to to feel loved. I never wanted..that. I'm so scared, because I am almost so sure that if I dont keep this plate spinning that you'll let it fall. That's why I'm asking for the next time I can see you. The next time to hang out. But those asks... compel you. It hurts my heart to think of you hanging up the phone to roll your eyes and feel impeded by agreeing to get me to leave you alone. I feel like you dont want to see me anymore and I dont know what to do to keep fighting. Im.. leaving you alone, but it feels like giving up. But it's been two months now, going on its third. Our connection further dwindles, bit by bit. Feeling so desperate for your touch.. your interaction.. even your voice is excruciating. I dont understand how you endured.

But you're changing. I see it in little pieces. I wonder if I will be just a lesson for you, like I had been for so many before. Doomed to only be a catalyst for others change.

As usual, I dont know if you'll read this, but I implore you. Do not compel yourself for me if it's not real. I cannot tell the difference and you already feel enough resentment for me without forcing yourself to be around me. I wonder if I was actually relaxing to you at some point. When, if ever, was I the person to flee to get away from your troubles? I miss being your cheerleader. I miss you caring about me because, and only because, you wanted to.

"So if you really love me, say 'yes!' But if you don't, dear, confess. And please don't tell me,

'Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps.'"

[nostalgicbts]

Frat | 06

previous next

+

It has been two weeks since the party. J-Hope and Tae had invited me to other parties but I refused, wanting to take a break from that and study for my upcoming exams. Same with Elly. She's stayed home with me that past two weeks to help me study and to study for her own exams.

I sigh as I plop onto the couch after a full day of exams. Luckily I took all my exams today so I don't have to worry about them tomorrow or for the rest of the month. I pull my hair out of its bun and walk to the kitchen to get myself something to drink. I decide on hot chocolate and wait for the milk to heat up. Jimin has texted me almost everyday of these  past two weeks to ask me to hang out. I told him that i was focusing on studying, which wasn't a lie, but I also just didn't want to see him. The way he kissed me made me want to cry in a good way. The kiss made me feel something I hadn't felt since my last boyfriend and that scares me. It scares me because I don't want to feel that emotion again for it to end so bad. I know Jimin doesn't want a relationship and I can't change his decision on that or anything. The only thing I can do is protect myself from developing any further feelings for him. Once my hot chocolate is almost done Elly walks through the door and throws her keys and bag on the counter.

"How were your exams?" I ask her as I hand her a cup and pour my own.

"They were alright. You?" She takes a sip and pulls off her shoes and puts them in the corner where we keep our shoes.

"I think I did pretty good." I shrug as I take a sip and sit on one of the stools.

Elly sits on the counter and sighs. "So Jungkook invited us to a party to get some fun in after our countless studies. Want to go?"

I think about it. Do I want to risk it and run into Jimin? But he's the one that said he wanted to be friends not me. So we should be able to be friends and have no problems.

But these feelings I've developed for him. I just sigh and mumble, "Sure why not."

She smiles and puts her cup in the sink next to her. "Jungkook and Tae said that Jimin hasn't been at the parties this week. I guess he actually takes school seriously." She shrugs and hops off the counter. "Lets start getting ready."

I go to my room and fix my hair and makeup first. I straighten my roots a little bit but keep my ends their natural wave. Then wipe under my eyes and fix my mascara and eyebrows. Everything else is fine. I get dressed in a maroon Crop sweater that reaches the top of my highwaisted jeans. so if I were to raise my hands, you'd see my upper stomach. I put on my white and black Adidas and my everyday jewelry. My rings and necklace. I spray my perfume and walk out of my bedroom. Elly is sitting on the couch tying her boots, she's wearing a long black knitted sweater and jeans with her long curls down. She stands up and turns to me. "I told Jungkook that we were capable of driving ourselves, so lets go."

~~

"My favorite girls." Tae exclaims and walks up to us and pulls us into a group hug. "The only girls in this house that don't throw themselves on every guy." He whispers to us loudly and sloppily.

"Are you drunk Taehyung?" Elly asks him laughing.

"He's drunk off his ass and the party just began." Jungkook says as he comes up behind Elly . "Hi baby." He says and kisses her forehead.

"You guys make me sick." Tae rolls his eyes and pretends to throw up. Afterwards he holds his stomach and wobbles. "I might actually throw up."

"Come on buddy, lets go to the bathroom." Jungkook says and starts to lead him in the direction.

"We'll meet you there." Elly yells after him and runs to the kitchen holding my wrist.

We go into the kitchen that is surprisingly empty and Elly grabs two cups and pours vodka into both. "Just to start off the night." She says and clinks our cups together and we down them.

As I'm swallowing down the drink and whiny voice comes into our hearing, complaining to want a drink. We look at each other and roll our eyes before laughing at the annoying voice.

"We'll go get a drink now." Another voice comes into the room with the other, and that voice, we both know.

Park Jimin.

I sigh and close my eyes and open them again and make eye contact with Elly who sighs and looks at Jimin and whatever girl he brought today.

"Hey Elly and (Y/N)." He says happily.

I turn around to see Jimin standing in the doorway with his arm around some girl's shoulders. She has light brown hair and is wearing a white shirt with jeans and sneakers. She stares us down and crosses her arms over her chest.

"Hey." I say and give him a fake smile, which I know he can tell is fake by the way his smile kind of falters then his head turns to the side a bit.  

"Um we're just leaving." Elly says and pulls me along to walk by them.

"Leaving the party or leaving the kitchen?" Jimin says causing Elly to stop walking by him. Im right in front of him and he's staring me in the eyes as he's asking the question.

"The kitchen." Elly states with slight attitude then continues to walk out the kitchen. My shoulder rubs against his shoulder and I can see him staring at me from the corner of my eye but I continue to walk.

~~

As always, we play pool while we're here. Tae is feeling better and has stuck to drinking water now and is sitting on the couch next to J-Hope and Yoongi, who I was just introduced to a few hours ago along with Namjoon and Jin, but they're talking to some others.

This time Elly and I are playing against each other and Jungkook is leaning against the table watching us. It's now Elly's turn and I watch the crowd. I watch as Namjoon and Jin talk and flirt with these two girls. As I'm watching them, I see a familiar set of faded orange hair from the corner of my eyes. I look to see him and that girl from earlier dancing together. More like grinding but for my sake I'll just say dancing.

"That's Hayat. She's from Turkey and moved here about 7 years ago. She's in my Psychology class." Jungkook says.

I look at him and shrug and play my turn. After I win, I go to the kitchen to get a drink for me and Elly I have both our glasses in my hand as I start to walk back to the large room. As I'm about to enter the room a semi-deep voice stops me.

"Hi, I just noticed you a few times and wanted to introduce myself. " He says as i turn around. He's cute. He has brown eyes to match with his hair and a smile that can cure a broken heart. He's wearing a grey sweatshirt with jeans and black boots. "I'm Dylan, nice to meet you."

"I'm (Y/N)." I smile and look down at the drinks in my hand. "I would shake your hand but," I say and lift up the drinks in my hand.

He laughs and looks down at the drinks. "One's for your boyfriend?"

"What?" I say dumbly and look down at he glasses again. "Oh, no no no. One's for my best friend." I laugh.

"That's good to hear." He smirks and looks down.

I laugh then look down. “Maybe so-” 

"Please back away from her."

I furrow my eyebrows in surprise and turn around to see Jimin standing there with a sarcastic smile on his face and his hands behind his back.

"And who are you to tell me that?" Dylan challenges.

"I asked you nicely, buddy. Don't make me ask you again."

"Jimin-"

"Is this your boyfriend?"

"No-"

"So you can't tell me to back away from a pretty girl like her if she's not yours. Am I right?" Dylan steps closer as does Jimin.

Jimin smirks sarcastically and looks down for a few seconds. I turn around to look in the room and make eye contact with Elly , mouthing "help" and she quickly taps Jungkook and he looks over here.

I turn around and in slow motion. I drop the cups onto the floor and yell.  Jimin punches Dylan. This time, Jimin's opponent punches back and hits Jimin just as hard, maybe a little even harder. Jimin pushes Dylan onto the floor and starts to puch him more. Jungkook quickly runs and pulls Jimin off with the help of Yoongi. Tae helps Dylan up, who immediately walks out of the house.

I look at Jimin with frustration and confusion and he just stares at me as he wipes his lip. Hayat runs to Jimin and grabs his arm to see if he's okay. He's eyes still locked on mine he yanks his arm out of her grip and turns around. Disappearing into the crowd and up the stairs.

What the hell was that?

05.08.17