#im getting gender envy FROM A TREE WHAT THE FUCK

[k1tty5]

the creaking etho HELLO

[sirompp]

odd characters i thought i had a crush on as a kid but much later realized was just gender envy ranked by how tasty and/or edible a meal they made would be (in no particular order)

character 1: baldi from baldis basics

i imagine baldi would make a decent stew with homemade broth, and provide some saltine crackers with it. nothing revolutionary but its pretty good, more than edible. 6/10

2. tord from eddsworld

i dont think this man would make anything more than instant noodles or slightly burnt toast. hes probably capable of cooking Decent or even Good food but i dont think he would. fortunately for me though i love slightly burnt toast 7/10

3. underfell sans (i couldnt find any official art so i drew this myself)

you know i was going to say "ive never had a chimichanga so i cant rate him." but. turns out its papyrus who makes the chimichangas. not sans.

i think sans would make like. those fucking canned hotdog bits but hed put relish and mustard on it which is technically edible, but personally id rather eat rocks. 2/10

4. four from bfb

four eats exclusively american cheese slices and dunkaroos. most would consider this an awful terrible meal but i am autistic 9/10

5. enderman from minecraft

That's a dirt block. You know its gonna be dry as hell too because shes allergic to water. 1/10

6. the once ler from the lorax

im pretty sure he makes food in the movie but i forgot what it was. im a fake fan i know. alphabet soup served in a thneed and im photographed 8 million times while i eat for a new promotion hes doing where thneeds can be used as bowls for food (they cant) (the sop is so full of truffula tree fluff.) (its disgusting.) (i dont even like alphabet soup) 3/10

7. shopkeeper from my tomodachi life island

(he literally said this as i went to get a photo for this post)

he makes a MEAN omelette. i dont even like omelettes but his would be so good i might change my mind. he would decorate the plate with fruit 7/10

8. underfresh sans (same situation as fell, drawing by me again)

store bought donuts, pringles, and a pepsi. i really hate donuts but the others are fine. im gonna be hella hyper after the pepsi though 6/10

9. imposter from among us

whatever it is its guaranteed to be poisoned. 0/10

[ampersand-antics]

I've finally gotten my hands on totk and. Oh gods. This game sure is something

Cue Atari Rant Mode ig?

!!! SPOILERS FOR TOTK AND UNHINGED RAMBLING UNDER THE CUT !!!

What the fuck is that gloom thing with the eyes and the hand and the puddle it grabbed me I am terrified help please someone kill it for me

I am constantly hypervigilant for those things whenever I'm out in the overworld.

Also every single time a tree ends up being not-a-tree? I get so surprised. Like dude I am fully aware that was a thing that could happen why does it scare me so much I swear I jump like a mile each time.

Um let's see. I've played through the Rito quest line, I'm halfway through the Zora one (climbing up the skyslands now), I've gotten the first four tear visions and I've visited Kakariko, Hateno, and a bit into Faron and Eldin outside of quests.

Tulin is so baby I love him so much <333 my child now.

They gave Sidon a wife. How fucking dare they pop the bubble of every sidlink shipper. That man is fruity as fuck. Yknow what from now on I hc he's in a poly relationship with Link.

Also zelda gets so much characterization in this game omg. The school the garden her journal and her diary I'm going to cry I'm so in love with her. Also the zelink here is so heavily implied! I love it! I'm a hard-core botw zelink shipper

The fact that this has to fo with THE IMPRISONING WAR??? WERE FIGHTING THE DEMON KING HIMSELF???? LIKE THE OG??? DOES THIS MEAN THE CYCLE WILL BE BROKEN??? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS FOR WHAT THIS MEANS FOR THE TIMELINE!!!!!!!!! IM SO FUCKIN HYPED OMG

Also all the Zonai lore we're getting. Amazing. I love them. I wanna fuck Rauru. Like I know I don't normally like men but *him*. And also Sonia but she was a given, I knew that from the start. Also Rauru? Hella gender envy

Look forward to pt 2 of this next time I have More Thoughts :P

[thealleycat]

i have been tagged twice (thank u for ur interested in the allied cat)

Name? Allie

Pronouns and gender? they/she, some kind of girl-shaped genderblob

Sexuality? gay asf (i like women and femme leaning ppl)

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? I would really consider myself part of any fandoms tbh. top 5 things i am a fan of - speedsouls (bloodborne/sekiro in particular), jerma, destiny(2), FFXIV, ultrakill

What is your Most forbidden snack? red-hot metal looks rly appetizing.

Would you pet a bug? I had some rly bad experiences with bugs at my old living situation/job and I no longer like to be around bugs, but I used to have a tarantula i would pet.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I donno i think everything about me is weird. It’s hard for me to think of stuff off the top of my head and everyone i asked didn’t have any suggestions, lol.

What does the color blue taste like? blue gatorade

What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? Californian ancient redwood forest. Or Lake Tahoe in wintertime. Seeing trees so big and wide it’s like staring up at a skyscraper was overwhelming. Lake tahoe is just a beautiful area. Skiing there was one of the best places I’ve ever been. On the last day we were there it snowed over a foot of dry, soft snow. It’s hard to comprehend just how stiflingly silent it is during snowfall like that. It’s really beautiful.

What is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done? When I was in my senior year in High School I went to my first and only house party. Which was full of drunk, underrage kids in a house with 0 adults. ( and it was the 4th of july. ) The cops showed up and me and my friend I was there with were in the back of the house, so we bolted and didn’t get caught. When we looped around the house, we noticed another cop car with one cop up like fifteen feet away up the street. They hadn’t noticed us so, me and my drunk friend lit some of the fireworks we had and tossed em into the cop car right through the window. You can guess what happened after tho the cop didn’t catch me or my friend (we were both in high school track/long distance running team). Also, ACAB.

Stupidest thing you’ve seen/heard someone else do/say? My sister used to think Palm Trees were fake. Also she married a MAGA head. Both of those are pretty stupid.

Hyperfixation song? kamikaze and Truncheon by The Royal They

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? I really like Izutsumi from Dungeon Meshi. her design gives me gender envy and I relate deeply to working through the trauma of having a shitty situation growing up. and I think Alley Cat is a fun way to disguise my name while also having my name on full display

Dream career as a child? Something involving the physical sciences. Not kidding when I say I was doing science experiments for fun when I was 6.

Dream career as an adult? Something with computers. Or gaming critique. We’ll see how it goes.

Thoughts on cilantro? Spicy Lettuce

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? Yeah, when I was a senior I used to work at fast casual local place in my hometown. It was basically half a step nicer than mcd’s or any other fast food place but also only had 3 locations in this one town I lived. Anyway, we close at 9:30 on weeknights, and it’s finals weeks. Everyone who works there is a high school student (Because it was legal to pay us below min wage and the owner was a cheap fucking loser). General manager wants to stay open past closing to get a ‘big day of sales’. Currently, I was the only one there who knew how to work the kitchen so im making all the orders. When another order rolls in at 9:50 I tell him im not going to make anymore. Ppl have finals the next day and need to be in class at 7:30 am. He tells me to leave and never come back, even to buy food. Fuck that guy tho.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple pizza, apparently.

Trans rights? I support trans rights and trans wrongs fellow 196 refugees are welcome to jump in but im not tagging anyone

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[snoopdoodle]

Platonic ranboo x enby reader where he asks them to define gender envy and they show him with photos and explains them, and the entire time ranboo is just listening with a smile on his face at how happy they seem to be

awee I love this 😭 and I hope its up to your standards!! Please tell me if you enjoy :] also im sorry if its short!! I tried to fit a lot of detail in :,)

---

Gender Envy

platonic!ranboo x gn!reader

pronouns: they/them

summary: Ranboo asked Y/N what gender envy feels like, so they explain it, and Ranboo listens to every word.

Ranboo was confused. Not of you, no no. It was how you described something. That something was known as Gender Envy. Now, you would often joke around about it, like looking at a Tall minecraft tree and saying something like, “Oh, that tree gives me so much gender envy.” And you would laugh it off as he would with you, but he never understood what you meant. He’d try looking it up, but where he would, it wouldn’t give him the answer that he wanted.

“What do they mean…” He would mumble as he scoured the internet for the meaning. He would often get comparisons to the term “jealousy,” but he knew that it wasn’t the right word to use. He decided to ask you today, although it would have to wait after your stream. You were streaming with Wilbur, Tommy, and Charlie, so this was bound to take a while. He waited it out, though. Listening as the clock ticked by and 2 hours passed with ease.

He smiled as you did your outro, your [Masculine, Feminie, Neutral] voice was calming to him and probably to everyone around him. He smiled as you hit the end stream button. ‘They’re probably drained... ‘ He thought to himself, weighing his options and choices. ‘Ok,’ He decided in his head as he re-opened discord again. He went to your account and began to type. The light music of a spotify playlist and typing were the only things that he could hear in his room.

His message was just a plain “Do you think we could call? I’ve wanted to ask you something.” You had enough faith in Ranboo for this not to be some shitty confession. You replied with a plain “sure.” because, like Ranboo had assumed, you were drained from your stream. You join the call to hear a soft, “Hey there, Y/N.” You smiled, dozing off to sleep, as your sleep schedule was pretty fucked. “Heyyy, Boo.” You dragged out. The tired smile evident in your voice. Ranboo gave a chuckle back to the nickname you had jokingly given him, but now it sort of stuck.

“I’m sorry to bother you about this, I know you’re probably really drained from that stream-” He slightly panicked, but you waved him off with a tired laugh which sort of soothed his nerves. “Don’t worry about it man. You are right, but you’re important so I’ll listen before I head off to bed.” You spoke, smiling at how worried he was for you. “Im sorry, this might sound like a stupid question, buit what is gender envy..?” Ranboo started with confusion and worry in his voice. Worry, because he didn’t know how you would react. “I-I’ve looked it up, but it didn’t give me a good description…” He spoke gently. You beamed on the other side of the call.

“You really want to know?” You questioned with a smile. He nodded, laughing when he realized you couldn’t see him. “W-Wait I’m sorry- I.. haha, I nodded cause I thought you could see me-” He laughed into the mic, and you chuckled along. “Alrighty.. If you want to know, Gender Envy is like…” And so you told him. You told him what made you feel dysphoric, you told him was it felt like to have gender envy, you told him everything. All the while, he smiled and nodded to your words. He smiled when you would get passionate about something. It was learning experience both he and you enjoyed.

[jewizh]

an excessively long self-reflection into gender and sexuality - specifically being trans and bi.

first off, im just noticing there's a rainbow eucalyptus tree by my bus stop, so now i can daily zone out looking at pretty colours.

second, figuring out sexuality/handling bisexuality "am i bisexual? am i not? i thought i was, then i realized i wasn't, except now i think i am" is absolutely frustrating and not something i see much being talked about - honestly probably because i avoid it as i tend to do with a lot of things, to the point that i'm still confused and on the edge of what i am - especially in relation to being transgender.

and it's like, my first idea that im bisexual came from "wow girls are hot, boys are hot, guess im bisexual" and i lived my life like this. young, baby brained me was honestly pretty intellectual and knew things. even better, i was lucky enough to not question beyond this, and went and had a girlfriend in middle school while together, we fawned over boys. it was a genuinely not terrible experience, until then-fourteen year old me was being told "i love you" and i panicked because i'm fourteen and didn't feel the same way, so i broke it off. unimportant in the long run.

and after this, i continued on thinking, i'm bi. it's chill. i started questioning my gender, something i dont think would have happened earlier on had i not dated someone who wasn't cis - and as soon as some jackass comes out saying "transtrender" or some dumb shit, no. i was confused, always have been confused in relation to gender expression at the very least. i had always been non-feminine, but, here's where i started actively looking at gender. amazingly, this analysis of how i acted didn't even key in on the idea that i'm not a girl, but instead, i figured my avoidance of femininity was because of internal misogyny, so baby me went and wore a dress "happily" to embrace that being girly wasn't weak! yay! good intentions, but...wrong personal reasons.

i get older - that sounds dramatic because it's like the span of a year or two - and i continue "i like girls and boys and non-binary!" (gonna be honest, this is about the time i was delving into hamilton, one of the worst and better experiences i've had in relation to tumblr, but that is a completely different story; at the very least, i was getting more into social insight on gender.) about here, i'm questioning my gender for real because while that dress i wore to homecoming was pretty, i was uncomfortable as hell and expressing femininity did not make me feel good. step one is realizing im not a girl, which is a good step: i say im non-binary (which, i am). through this confusion, i tack on that i'm asexual because im confused and frustrated and like...fourteen/fifteen. i really would have saved myself a world of pain and confusion if i just sat there for a few minutes and went "im fourteen/fifteen", but again, another story. at this point, i'm still touting that im bi.

more time passes - aka now im 16 - and i cut my hair, get a binder, im turning into my mom's worst nightmare right before her eyes. i never fully drop the whole "im non-binary" thing, but i actively start embracing and expressing that im trans-masculine - or, just trans because that's so much easier to say and is the whole damn truth. here is about the time i put my attraction on the line because i was/am confused and scared. it's going to take me a few months to work through that i'm not asexual - no, i'm not grey-sexual, fuck why did i think that, who let fourteen year old me go "oh damn, i dont wanna sleep with anyone right now??? i must be asexual!!" and who let fifteen year old me go "hm, i think im starting to feel sexual attraction, but not towards every person i pass, im grey-ace!" - but now i'm also looking at my attraction to gender. newly appointed trans me has a large interest in boys because i was confused. slowly, i dropped thinking i was attracted to girls because i was too busy giving boys heart eyes in what i assumed to be total attraction and not also just envy that they have what i dont. being attracted to girls confuses me because i hated my body and some evil part of my brain said i cant like girls because that means i should like myself and my body - don't ask for the logic here, there is none.

and here's the thing, for years i went along with this. i envy boys, who i also happen to me "exclusively" attracted to. dysphoria compounds this, i go with it, even as i pass over girls that are cute because my attraction to them isn't the same as my attraction to boys - oh, news flash, nobody told me that my being attracted to them in different ways is completely normal. i pass through life actively attracted to girls and waltz about like there's nothing wrong with that, i'm gay, even as i want to date a girl im like "pff, im gay, that's weird". i was actually so deep into confusion based around gender dysphoria i really went and dropped being bi altogether, honestly thinking i cant possibly like girls.

now, call me a nerd and sad, whatever, but i actually took me doing a heavy and thorough star trek rewatch and falling in love with a girl every three seconds before i sat there and realized "oh shit". it was a big oh shit, and even then, i was nervously like "nah, it's just. they're pretty! i like boys exclusively!! i dont like girls the same way i like boys, so i like boys!" and it really took finally seeing someone else say that being bi doesn't mean you're attracted to gender the same way for me to realize - damn it, im bi, aren't i. not in a disappointed way, i will say i think im luckier for not ever dealing with internal biphobia when i was younger, and that carried over, i dont have any distaste over being bi, but there really is a sense of frustration looking back at eleven/twelve year old me saying im bi and sixteen-eighteen being like "im gay" all because of confusion based around gender dysphoria. and there's even more frustration confronting that dysphoria and how it sways my perception of gender and attraction in a way i can't really express. there's frustration that i finally concluded im bi while watching star trek at midnight while pointedly not doing my physic homework.

i never had people to talk to about this, absolutely terrified of being judged, called fake, etc. and scared of stigma. it took me long years for my ever-evolving self to come full circle because i was too scared and confused to talk about it instead of crying into a pillow at night because of extreme frustration.

and that's my excessively long post to say... im bi. girls are pretty.

[ted-hyung]

nielwink hitman au (I enjoy your writing a lot!! honestly it doesnt have to be hitman au but nielwink is all I need)

anon-sshi i, forthe love of god, am too mild for hitman!au. here, have a 2.5k fluffy bodyguard!auinstead.

feat. another thug!daehwi, lame bodyguards, jihoon being a teenager, a girl group member, glorified age AND size-difference, all the good stuffs for sunday. plz comment, likes, and reblogs, tell your friends about my fics etc ʕ – ㉨ – ʔ ʕ – ㉨ – ʔ ʕ – ㉨ – ʔ

also tagging le queen @6ungjin tell me whachu think imma on a roll.

one of the newbodyguards looks like a big dog. no. an overgrownpuppy. oh my god, jihoon thinks, ashe hides a grin behind his hands and steals another glance at the man who isso, so big and wide. his glaring ash blonde hair further convinces jihoon thathe’s a… samoyed puppy? or maybe a golden retriever? ugh, especially when hesmiles and his eyes disappear like he just demonstrated over somethingjisung-hyung says. the apples of his chubby cheeks aren’t helping his cute appearance at all! he doesn’t looklike a bodyguard no matter how much black attires he’s wearing from head totoe! jihoon is weak for cute things!

“bro, controlyourself,” daehwi hisses from his left. he’s speaking without moving his lips,a talent that he’s mastered for variety show appearances but actually comes inhandy at situations like these. everyone’s been picking up his talent andchecking out girl group members are easier nowadays god bless lee daehwi andthe entire k-pop industry.

“what the fuck?”jihoon hisses back, coughing a little to cover up his never-ending grin andmostly his portrayed image as this aegyo machine who’s just oh so pure and innocent—not the foul-mouthed prettyboy he really is.

“you’repractically vibrating,” daehwi says while pretending to look down to his phone.“he’s cute, i know. i want to hug him too. but seriously control yourself.don’t scare him away on his first day.”

“shut up itagged him first.”

“no, you’renot.”

on his right,jinyoung hisses at them as he opens a bag of potato chips loudly, “guys,please. just share him, we still have dongho-hyung, remember?”

daehwi hums,acknowledging his slip. dongho-hyung is their favorite bodyguard who’scurrently on leave due to sickness—lies,they know he got knocked over by a horde of fangirls with folding chairs andexpensive cameras when they were at incheon airport last week—thus the reasonwhy management is hiring two new bodyguards in the name of kang daniel(jihoon’s, thank you very much), and im youngmin, a smiley but tall and just aswide, if not wider, man with red hairand huge hands.

now, don’t getthem teenage boys wrong. living the lush life of being an idol can be lonely;they stutter when they try to talk to any girl groups and they can’t reallymake friends with another boy group since they’re still new, the still need toestablish a solid fanbase before worrying about befriending their literal‘rivals’. they—jihoon, daehwi, jinyoung, samuel, and euiwoong aka boy’sgeneration, the nation’s hottest idol to date—are all lucky to have a superhilarious manager-hyung slash talkative uncle who takes a good care of him.jisung-hyung was once a trainee who got denied his chance to debut thrice, andvowed to be a good manager to every groups he’s managed and he did. boy’sgeneration saw with their own eyes how red velvet girl group members, yes, the red velvet from sm entertainment,always flock around jisung-hyung like he’s their mama bird every time theyhappen to run into each other in music shows recording because he was theirmanager for a long, long time before he got transferred to manage boy’sgeneration.

anyway, besidesjisung-hyung, they also have kind-hearted stylist noonas and hairstylist noonasto talk to in between hectic schedules. choreographer-hyungs and don’t forgetcafeteria staffs.

and then there’sdongho-hyung and his team.

real men in suits with muscles, notjisung-hyung and his bb cream compact but don’t tell jisung-hyung that or elsethey will be denied late night sneaky snacks.

okay, so! realmen! because dongho-hyung is menacingwith the sides of his head shaved and cool tattoos, lots of them! he doesn’tshave and doesn’t moisturize at night! euiwoong once looked him up on naversearch and found that he had black belt in taekwondo and got an honorable medalfrom the navy because he helped rescuing a north korean refugee from drowningat the yellow sea. wow, right? daehwieven talks about him a lot on interviews, saying that he aspires to be as manly as one of boy’s generationbodyguards so please wait for me blooming as a real man a little bit longer,guys, saranghae~

daehwimonopolizes dongho-hyung all by himself whenever they have a vacation, sittingnext to him in the plane and clinging to dongho-hyung’s thick arms as they tryto swim across beastly fangirls waiting for them at the airport. dongho-hyunghas three people with him, all looking like they can kill with their gaze butis actually a sap. there’s wonshik-hyung who talks too fast, gets confused bywhat he says, and teasing him is boy’s generation favorite pastime. next, theyhave taekwoon-hyung; the quietest, the scariest, but also the sweetest when itcomes to tending any of boy’s generation needs. he’s got a soft spot forjinyoung who blurts out random nonsense at times that never fails to crack himup, and jinyoung even introduced taekwoon-hyung to his cousin-noona. the lastone in the bodyguard team is shinwoo-hyung, an actual bear personified. he’ssquishy and wide, sleeps a lot, and lets samuel and euiwoong braid his longhair.

jihoon is closeto all of them, but he wants one just for himself. kang daniel seems like agood candidate because im youngmin looks like he’ll be strict despite hisoverall soft-looking appearance.

ʕ – ㉨ – ʔ

nothing majorhappens.

daniel-hyung, asit turns out, is a dork. he’s a big fan of harry potter the series and he anddaehwi are bonding over their favorite book; harry potter and the goblet offire. he speaks english too, and if jihoon is a lesser man—boy—he would havehidden all of daehwi’s shoe lifts because daehwi’s been looking so smug afterhe talks to daniel-hyung about finding nemo or other american stuffs jihoondoesn’t really care. youngmin-hyung, true to his prediction, is the gentlestand smartest and prefers to tutor them instead of fully doing their mathhomework (shinwoo-hyung did it before but their grades didn’t actuallyskyrocketed ha ha ha).

jihoon is bored.

he’s recording apopular eating show alone today as a special guest alongside a girl groupmember who made jihoon’s heart skipped a beat the first time he got a good lookof her smooth, long legs clad only in a pair of pastel pink colored tennisskirt. she’s super nice, not overly friendly or even touchy with boyish cutblack hair and orange tinted lips, but jihoon can’t afford to be comfortablewith an opposite gender now. probably not ever until they’re years into keepingboy’s generation relevant.

jisung-hyungcan’t go with him because the rest of the members are filming an openingsegment for their newest variety show, boy’sgeneration 101, that jihoon had filmed prior this schedule. daniel-hyunggot assigned to accompany him instead and he’s being chummy with the girl’smanager-noona, both standing underneath the shade of the years old oak treejust across the road, looking like a movie star with a simple black polo shirtand black bermuda pants. jihoon notices that daniel-hyung’s calves are just assmooth as the girl’s and he chokes on a quiet laughter.

“hi.”

jihoon yelps,and the girl apologizes for startling him.

“no no, it’sokay,” jihoon splutters, standing up from the plastic chair he’s sitting. he’sjust barely a couple of inches taller than her and it’s making him sad. “hi.hello.”

the girl,ahreum, smiles and it’s not a flirty kind of smile. jihoon hopes he doesn’thave a chili stuck in between his teeth or something when smiles back at her.

ahreum says,“the PD-nim told me we’ll be back filming in ten minutes.”

“right, whew. ican’t wait to have the dessert to be honest,” jihoon nods, thanking the godsthat his stutter isn’t as severe as samuel that foolish maknae. “um. what wasyour favorite dish?”

“i loveeverything,” ahreum giggles, “i just love seafood so much. you’re allergic toshrimps, right?”

they’re filming,you guess it right, in busan. it’s dongho, daniel, and youngmin-hyung’shometown. jihoon is not even a big fan of seafood but at least he could enjoyeverything else that wasn’t shrimp. the dessert is some unique flavor, homemadeice cream. jihoon loves sweets and he’s going to eat a lot because jisung-hyungis not here with him to watch his sugar intake. the agency told him to lose acouple of weights because he looks bloated lately. it’s the goddamn chocolatebars jihoon bought on impulse the last time he got his paycheck. tch.

“are youthirsty?” ahreum asks, “let’s go to 7-11 just down the road. i’ll treat youcola.”

as much asjihoon loves cola, he can’t have it due to his sugar diet. “can i have pocarisweat instead?”

ahreum nods,smiling. she’s pretty. “anything you want.”

jihoon tellshimself not to blush like a pre-pubescent boy. “um, wait here. i have to telldaniel-hyung,” he says, putting his hands in the pockets of his sponsored denimshorts.

ahreum looksover to where her manager and daniel-hyung are still talking, and comments,“your bodyguard, right? he’s really handsome.”

jihoon, in lieuof snorting in annoyance, blurts out, “he’s a dork tho.”

“still.”

yeah, well.

daniel-hyung iscrossing his arms on his chest; they’re bulging heavily unlike jihoon’stwig-like ones. he doesn’t wear any makeup but his skin is flawless and jihoonenvies him for sweating freely, while he has to be careful not to smear his bbcream away whenever he dabs his sweat with tissues. daniel-hyung smiles whenjihoon approaches near, and the manager-noona greets him politely.

“ahreum and iare going to the 7-11,” jihoon says, “do you want something, hyung?”

daniel-hyung’sanswer is immediate, “i’ll go with you.”

ooo…kay?

jihoon frowns.“it’s just down the road,” he waves a hand to the general direction of theroad, even though truthfully he hasn’t seen a 7-11 near the dessert house.

daniel-hyungtilts his head, a very cute habit that makes him look more and more like anovergrown puppy. if only he’s not being annoying right now, jihoon would havebeen squealing. in his head.

but he’s beingannoying right now.

“right,whatever.” jihoon mumbles and makes a u-turn, and he hears a loud horn ananosecond before he realizes he’s being held back by daniel-hyung’s strong andheavy arms. someone curses out loud but jihoon’s ears are ringing with howdeafening his heartbeats are. he wasn’t looking and he almost got hit by aspeeding motorcycle, all because he thought daniel-hyung, who saved his life,was being annoying for wanting to go to 7-11 with him and ahreum.

…

daniel-hyungsmells like baby powder.

“jihoon! are youokay?!” that’s ahreum, eyes as big as saucers as she runs towards him but notbefore looking both ways for any vehicles. jihoon gets a glance of the eatingshow crew in a various state of shock, and daniel-hyung is still holding him upwith gentle hands because jihoon doesn’t think he can stand upright without ahelp anyway.

“ahjusshi, is heokay?” ahreum asks, addressing daniel-hyung formally. weirdly. daniel-hyung is only twenty seven years old, exactly tenyears older than jihoon but his birthday is on december. he’s an oppa, really,not ahjusshi.

…

did jihoon tellyou already that daniel-hyung smells like baby powder? because he really does.

“he’s alright,he’s fine,” daniel-hyung sighs, softly, like he doesn’t want to spook jihoonmore if he speaks in a normal tone. “jihoon-ah? can you hear me?” he asks,carefully maneuvering jihoon in his arms, cupping jihoon’s face with his gentlehands that smells like milk. probably his hand cream.

jihoon blinks atthe question, and a tear falls.

ahreum makes adistressed sound as daniel-hyung envelopes him in a hug. he’s so warm, sogenerous with how he strokes jihoon’s hair to reassure him that he’s stillhere, safe and sound. jihoon wraps his arms around daniel-hyung’s torso, nailsdigging onto the fabric and the thickness of daniel-hyung’s skin, vaguelyrecalling whispers from ahreum and her manager-unnie and soon enough the PD-nim’sconsolation that they will hold the filming until jihoon recovers from hisshock. jihoon wants to go home. he wants to curl up on his bed with hisfavorite polar bear plushy and a bar of dark chocolate cadbury. he wants toerase his makeup and sleep with a clay mask he got from his fans. but mostimportantly, he doesn’t want daniel-hyung to let him go.

ʕ – ㉨ – ʔ

nothing majorhappens after that.

it takes jihoonapproximately a week and a half to get back to his old self, to get over thehumiliation of his own childish view of life that almost cost him his life or aleg or worse; his face. daniel-hyungnever brings up the issue and he seems to pay more attention to jihoon eversince. he volunteers to accompany jihoon on his next personal schedule and he’salways the first to reply to jihoon’s question on their group chat, actuallycoming over with a bag of cheetos when jihoon jokingly asked for it, summerthunderstorm be damned.

he looks like awet, overgrown puppy as he shows up on the front door and jihoon pouts, whiningand pulling him inside where it’s warm and jisung-hyung just cooked spaghettiand kimchi soup.

“i’m sorry!”jihoon squeals as he runs to his room to get towels. euiwoong is eyeing himfrom the top bunk, one earphone dangling as he monitors their latest music bankperformance like a good leader he is.

“are you talkingto me?” euiwoong asks.

“no,daniel-hyung is here. he brought cheetos!”

“what the…”euiwoong sits up. “cheetos that you asked on group chat? and what are youdoing?”

“towels! can iborrow yours? i’ll laundry it tomorrow.”

“bottom shelf.”

jihoon grabs twowhite towels embroidered in his and euiwoong’s initials—the perks of livingwith four other boys and one adult in one apartment, they can’t risk sharinggerms thus the territorial towels—and runs back to the front door wheredaniel-hyung is laughing at something jisung-hyung says.

“yah, thisbrat!” jisung-hyung scolds jihoon, but he’s helping daniel-hyung pattinghimself dry. “and you! you didn’t think to use any umbrella or what?”

“i was alreadyout,” daniel-hyung sniffs, concentrating on his hair. “thanks, jihoon-ah.”

jihoon nods,tongue-tied mostly because he was just joking about craving cheetos yet herethey are.

jisung-hyungclaps his hands. “oh, right! how was the date?”

daniel-hyunglaughs and tells them that she ditched him. jisung-hyung gasps, scandalized,and proceeds to rant about how dare she to passover someone as hot as kang daniel! and daniel-hyung laughs again, hiswhole body shaking with the mirth.

…

um.

what?

what was that?

why did jihoon’sheart skip a beat at the sight? is he for real?he’s seen daniel-hyung laughs multiple times before! why now, park jihoon, why?!