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wouldnt-it-be-hilarious-if-i · 2 years

Text

5:42 am

*TW: discussion of antisemitism

currently listening to: smack a bitch by rico nasty

i woke up sweating like a damn pig because my fan broke a few weeks ago (it's so freaking hot) and because i had a dream about someone i know. i feel like my consciousness only caught the tail end of it, but it was enough to make me paranoid that i texted them in my sleep lol

anyway, i'm up now so whatever. i was thinking about fundamentalist christians before i fell asleep, and idk if it's just because of how much of a genuine pet peeve of mine antisemitism is. also pet peeve is a very, very bad word for what i mean but it's the best i've got. as someone who comes from a german family, i simply have no patience for it.

anyway, idk if it's be of how much of a genuine pet peeve of mine antisemitism is, or just because fundies tend to gravitate toward really pissing me off, but i cannot stand this time of year for one reason: christians who celebrate passover.

let me explain

so i have a huge hyperfixation on fundies, and i read about them a lot and follow them often because they just fascinate me. i "follow" this one family on social media (air quotes bc i mostly just look up their account, not follow) and the mom is like genuinely in need of help. also im not doxing her, she literally had thousands of followers and her following grows daily.

last year was her first year celebrating passover, and the fundie snark reddit forum was seething bc of the way she was behaving.

first of all, she said in her instagram post that there was "no right way to celebrate passover," and that there was "no book telling you how to do it." which, like, there LITERALLY is. it's called the haggadah. not that fucking hard to google. but i digress, this woman shouldn't even be allowed on the fucking internet she needs literal fucking help

then, she had the nerve to celebrate it POTLUCK style. like with a whole bunch of people from her home church, serving fucking lays potato chips and shit like this. literally nothing she served was kosher in any way

OH, OH, and she literally made the WHOLE thing about jesus

she said that passover is celebrating jesus as the sacrificial lamb

i just-

i literally added this entire fucking egregious display of 1). clear appropriation of a sacred jewish holiday and 2). stupidity to my 35 page google doc on things that make me actively lose faith in the jesus fandom (i grew up christian and still tenuously consider myself christian---i was catholic). i'm literally not joking. i have a very organized google doc of things that i think the church really needs to fucking address bc i'm so tired of christians doing shit like this

anyway, so the reason i'm talking about it all this year is because she's celebrating it again this year (as a lot of fundies are in place of easter since easter is a "pagan" holiday and these people want nothing to do with paganism. the passover seder is in the bible and this family only celebrates biblical feasts) and she made a post recently that just

why

here are a few of my personal 'favorite' quotes (when i say favorite, i mean i fucking hate everything about it, just to be clear):

"every year, jews condemn us for celebrating passover. they say it is 'their' holiday and 'christians' are taking it from them." bc it IS theirs, and you ARE actively participating in appropriating it. full stop.

"i don't understand this mindset. is the bible not for all people? are we not all created by god?" i-

"this command was for the israelites to pass down from generation to generation to remember how Yahuah delivered and saved them from egypt. it is to tell their children about the goodness of god. yet it also says that if a foreigner is living among them that they must celebrate as well. so if we are simply only following the old testament, as they do, it is still acceptable for 'foreigners' to choose to celebrate the holidays of god."

it gets worse

"we celebrate it today as christians with even greater meaning though. christ is our passover lamb. and our celebrations will not be intermingled with jewish traditions and customs but rather simple biblical intruction. and jesus said that there is no longer jew or gentile, male or female. we are all children of god (those that call upon the lord and trust christ as our savior) unified by christ."

words can't not express how angry this woman makes me

AND THE FACT THAT HER FOLLOWERS ON IG EAT THIS SHIT UPPPPPPPPPPP

let me just go ahead and make this clear as fucking day: these bastardized versions of Passover are inherently antisemitic. literally all you have to do is know how to fucking read to see that everything about her reasoning is disgusting, hateful, and violent. she literally just said that Jews aren't even supposed to exist because Jesus said that everyone is unified by Christ, so everyone is supposed to be christian. and then she spent a good chunk of the post complaining about being rejected by people for celebrating Passover

UM MAYBE BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING AN ENTIRE FUCKING CUNT ABOUT IT?

Jewish people are real people. They have real, honest, sacred traditions that have MEANING both historically and religiously. They are not playing pretend, they are not out to reject christian beliefs, they are not doing any of the nasty shit you think they are because of your nasty antisemetic beliefs about how jewish people behave and feel. They're literally honoring their religious beliefs, and begging you to just not do what you're doing. It's not that fucking hard to just respect other people.

At this point, i really really understand gatekeeping. i hope the people rejecting you spit on your nasty, unwashed, three-day eyeliner wearing, greasy once a month washed haired, drop-shipped boutique 'Alexa, homeschool the kids' t-shirt wearing bitch ass self. i literally hope that jesus himself looks at you after you die and goes, "no fucking way am i letting you in. are you fucking serious? what the hell was that?" i'm just so angry--like what the fuck is wrong with you? you are the furthest fucking thing from christ-like, i'll tell you that. you are a narcissitic bitch who knows DAMN FUCKING WELL that you are appropriating a fucking sacred event, and i know that because you've deleted every comment made by a jewish person on your stupid little "we love you more" t-shirt post about being rejected by others for this. it's not our holiday. it's not your holiday. you are a violent, nasty, godless piece of shit who will fight long and hard for a holiday that DOES NOT FUCKING BELONG TO YOU but won't take your fucking children to the doctor when they have broken fucking bones unless it's bothering you in some way, and even then you just fucking pray over them and pretend they're healed after.

FIND HELP.

If you want to experience a real passover seder, literally just do the work and find a jewish community willing to invite you (good fucking luck after this fucking mess tho, at this point just look it up on youtube honestly bc if i were jewish i wouldn't let you near my community with a 500 ft pole), and experience it not just correctly but respectfully. like are you fucking serious? you really want to sit there and fucking pretend that jesus would have WANTED that? that's literally hilarious of you to think considering 1). jesus was a jew himself 2). he literally flipped tables and shit when he saw the church fucking using sacred grounds for gambling and consumerism, you don't think he's going to be flipping tables at your little potluck when he sees you doing essentially the same thing to another group of people? jesus espoused love, and this is literally the exact opposite of that.

this literally infuriates me so much. and i hate that this woman and others like her are teaching their beautiful kids that this is okay, and acting like jewish communities who are hurt by this clear act of violence against their religion ARE JUST LIKE OVERREACTING OR SOMETHING? oh my god, it's on sight if i ever fucking catch some bullshit like this coming out of someone's mouth. i'm not joking. i'll lose it.

if you don't like easter, literally just say that and eat your bland boiled food, ok? go and pray or something and call it a day. but don't steal something that isn't yours, act like it is, and then get upset when everyone is like hey that's pretty fucked up of you, maybe don't do that?

anyway, if anyone ever wants to read my google doc on things that make me lose faith in Christianity lmk lol

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13solo · 3 years

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Your Simeon post hit the nail on the head of why I dislike so many takes on him. He's super fascinating! Like that tea time scene with him and Dia I think gets oversimplified- neither of them really have malicious intent to eachother but are in complex situations where they still have to do what they need to because of their duties/obligations for their realms. Like the mutual conflict in desires is super interesting!! But both of them get tons of theories that flatten their depth to good traits being a front/ treat their flaws as active malice to make them out as secretly evil. Legit people treat brown characters with so much more suspicion and bad faith, its skeevy as fuck

THE TEA SCENE WAS JUST SO COOL IN GENERAL LIKE

i love how clearly tense the atmosphere was, how diavolo was extremely vexed by everything simeon was saying and how, despite the threats, simeon still appeared calm and benevolent. like i keep saying that the game is written weirdly but that scene was literally just so good in every way i love rewatching it.

i like that diavolo and simeon still seem to have this kind of distant friendship despite that too. like diavolo said he doesnt like simeon, but we see in season 3 that they do hang out together and talk and they just seem so friendly and

i literally live for their dynamic you have no idea

but you’re genuinely so right about them being flanderized by the fandom. ive seen people say that they hate that diavolo isnt an antagonist despite how he was set up as one in season 1 and im like 😭😭 literally WHEREEEE

diavolo’s whole backstory of him being a spoiled, but extremely lonely brat that was used to everything he said being treated as gospel but also desperately pining for intimacy makes his naive stubbornness make so much sense. its why i love him in season 3 so much because hes constantly having his worldview challenged by other characters (levi and belphie ❤️) and starting to develop more as a person. he isn’t evil, just clueless and desperate to be loved

someone in the tags of my post said that they think that the now-dateables are probably the most interesting characters in the game because they werent initially made to be love interests, so they were able to exist outside of solmare trying to write them in to be the perfect hot ideal boyfriends, and i kind of have to agree.

#ask

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bondsmagii · 5 years

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what embarassing/annoying things lgbt people do online? I dont spend a lot of time on the internet outside of my niche so im genuinely curious

god where do I even start… to be honest I’ve always been wary of communities in general because personal experience has taught me that things get weird fast, but I’ve never seen anything quite like LGBT circles online. some of the things I notice fairly frequently:

making everything about being LGBT to a freaky level; I just don’t think it’s healthy to have your gender and/or sexuality be your entire personality

related to this, making everything the x experience – the gay experience, the trans experience, etc. many of the things mentioned are things that everyone experiences, and most disturbingly, many of the things lauded as the x experience are actually symptoms of extreme trauma (feeling like there’s something inherently wrong with you, feeling lonely, constantly yearning but not knowing for what, etc). even if this trauma is related to your being LGBT, it isn’t healthy and people shouldn’t be accepting it as normal and encouraging it in others. trauma isn’t natural.

the top/bottom thing. like. ugh. I’m a dude in a relationship with another dude so this really makes me uncomfortable. the importance put on if someone is a top or a bottom, assigning personality traits to people based on this, saying stupid shit like “bottoms can’t park” or whatever, and just the extreme fascination with if someone is a top or a bottom… it’s very fetishising. even if people are talking about themselves, that’s still a detail of your sexual life that I do not want to know. it’s not appropriate to talk like that in front of strangers.

going on from this, how overly sexual a large chunk of the community seems to be. it’s not appropriate. I know this one isn’t LGBT specific, but in my personal experiences my straight/cis friends do not talk like this, but if someone finds out I’m LGBT too, they seem to think it’s fine to start talking in detail about their sex life/ask me invasive questions about mine. it’s not fine.

the really fetishising treatment of male/male couples even in the LGBT community is really… not good. my relationship isn’t a cute commodity that only exists for your fandoms.

the misandry is absolutely atrocious. lesbians are out there thinking it’s fine to declare men useless just because they don’t need us for sex; bi women are out there lamenting the fact they’re attracted to us disgusting men and why couldn’t they just be a lesbian. I’ve even seen bi women say they’re going to just ignore their attraction to men and choose women, perpetrating harmful myths that a) you can choose your sexuality and b) bisexuals are just faking and are capable of just “picking a side”.

the community has an extreme problem with policing one another and a lot of issues that they spend time and energy debating are pointless and just stupid, if I’m honest.

the fact that vehement hate is seen as OK so long as it’s directed against straight, cis people. it’s not.

the fact that cis, straight people can’t even mention the above point without being ripped apart, ridiculed, harrassed, insulted, and threatened is also not OK.

the diluting of actual important terms. “transphobia” and “homophobia” grow murkier by the day; people are being accused of these incredibly serious prejudices over stupid Tumblr arguments that rarely have anything to do with actual issues or aggressions.

the idea that if you’re LGBT you’re automatically free of blame, innocent, can do no wrong, etc. there are nasty people of every gender and sexuality. you’re not except from being abusive, oppressive, etc just because you yourself are a minority.

the fact that people out there reclaiming “queer” think they can call everyone in the LGBT community “queer” and if someone protests they’re “speaking over” them or setting back the movement or whatever. I have no problem if you identify that way, but I am not queer. I’m bi.

at least on this website it’s L rather than LGBT: ➡ gay men are shat on almost as badly as straight men, unless they’re trans, and then they’re treated like cute uwu transboys who are somehow exempt from the hatred levelled at cis men, proving that these people don’t see them as “real” men. ➡bi people (if acknowledged as bi and not just the umbrella term “gay”) suffer from a whole lot of internal prejudices, with bi women being seen/encouraged to be “lesbians” and bi men just not fucking mentioned at all. also we’re usually completely forgotten about; characters can’t be bi, they have to be gay (and shipping them with a member of the opposite sex is seen as “erasure”) or they’re straight. ➡ trans people get incredible amounts of transphobia within the community from cis LGBT people; trans men, as mentioned above, aren’t treated as “real” men and are seen as Men Lite™, and the arguments for this (that they don’t share the same chemical biology as men; that they were “raised as girls”) are transphobic and also dysphoric as hell. trans women get shit from all sides and there’s an incredible TERF problem in the community, especially among lesbians.

basically everyone is infighting, perpetrating harmful myths, speaking over people, forcing adherence to behaviours many might not be comfortable with, and generally being generalising, inappropriate, and wholly embarrassing. the way the community has got on over the last few years alone has probably set the movement back a decade.

#anon #asks

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synodicatalyst · 5 years

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honestly i

i don’t know where you believe i said “everyone who prefers reading or writing m/m or m/f is inherently lesbophobic” because i like, didn’t. and to make it clear - i’m not offended, i’d just rather people didn’t send asks in bad faith as such.

also “i write a lot about this one character = i hate all the other characters” is something you said, not me, and i really don’t understand where that line of thought came from. anyways.

let me explain why i don’t like the “it’s just a preference!” argument:

preferences do not justify a whole fandom bias. many of them are rooted in genuine internalised lesbophobia and misogyny.

the female cast of homestuck is, as a whole, just as strong (writing-wise) if not stronger than the male cast. by this i mean vriska and terezi and rose and kanaya and aradia are all INCREDIBLY GOOD and well written and funny characters. there are some pretty good boys, but i genuinely believe only dave manages to snag a spot in the list of top 4 best written homestuck characters

the girls are as a whole, more plot relevant, more pivotal, and better rounded than the boys. this is just like, fact. the female cast of homestuck is superb and it gives us a cast of many vibrantly different girls who are weird and funny and sometimes gross and have wacky interests and i think that’s genuinely so incredible. thus i think it’s a huge shame that people like, don’t get that? or they don’t want to focus on it???

anyway, a preference / bias has to come from somewhere and i don’t know how it doesn’t sound lesbophobic to you if someone openly admits they care more about m/m and m/f relationships than f/f ones. or if they say they dont care about the girls as much as the boys. if youre a gay dude and relate to the boys more, sure? i guess? i just think its wack to suggest there’s obviously nothing Deeper to a Preference like this

i think something that needs to be examined is why, even though so much of fandom is female and largely wlw, there is a disproportionate amount of m/m content and why most of it ISN’T CREATED BY MLM. in most other fandoms, this can partially be attributed to the fact that female characters are usually not as well written as their male counterparts, as well as being lesser in numbers. this is completely not the case in homestuck, however, which suggests a bias amongst fans. and when you have a clear trend where explicitly romantic, fascinating and dynamic wlw ships like vrisrezi have LESS AO3 CONTENT THAN CRONKRI? ??????????????? that means that there’s clearly a fucking issue lol

anyways if only ever drawing and writing and reading about dave is what floats your boat i literally can’t stop you and i’m not accusing you of lesbophobia for doing so. like, i only read FFXV fics that have Ignis as a pivotal character and he is a dude. this is because there’s almost zero femslash in the ffxv fandom though. and i am in the middle of writing a pretty long f/f oneshot for it so, you know.

so yeah this isn’t a PERSONAL ATTACK and if you take it as such either youre exactly the sort of person who needs to have a little Think or you should stop worrying about my opinion and call me a bitch and complain about how i’m generalising all people who like m/m or something. if you do the latter please do it in my inbox and explain exactly why you’re not lesbophobic (this sounds very combative but im sure You, as in The Anon Who Sent This, is the least of my problems to be honest)

im just saying like. there’s a very bad fandom bias. and that bias has to come from somewhere. and it’s obvious. and if you only create boy content for this fandom you might want to ask yourself why and then read roxi’s fics because that’s the number 1 guaranteed way to become deeply invested in girl content. i’m not kidding

also sorry i sound mad in this response. im not actually mad i’m just bracing myself for ten anons telling me about how i should just let everyone like what they like and not talk about how the fandom has a really bad problem with misogyny and lesbophobia and where that may come from

also this is the third draft of this post. i was going to put a long anecdote about how i used to be a striderfan but i didnt because it was embarrassing

#TEXTBOX #i considered not posting this #seeing how female characters get shafted all the time both in canon and fan content sucks #i dont know why people don't understand this #like holy shit look at ao3 #anon #asks #long post

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inevitably-johnlocked · 6 years

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I'm a bit embarrassed to ask this. Have you ever read a fic that, stylistically, it's beautiful, linguistically it's tight, and it's obvious the author poured their whole self into constructing the plot, crafting the world, and nailing down the characterizations, but... You just don't get it? Like, perhaps there's some insight you're missing, and it's almost there, you think maybe you're close to getting what the author is trying to portray, but you just can't make the connection necessary?

(Embarrassed nonny continued) You even reread to make sure you didn’t skip anything, but it’s like it just seems that something missing? Or that you’re the one missing something vital? So you go to the comments to see if anyone else is confused, but all you see are lovely, supportive compliments about how beautiful the story is (and it is), or how heartwrenching it is (usually so). But you seem to be the only one not getting it?

(Embarrassed nonny cont. again) Is it destructive to let the author know that I think a story is beautiful in it’s telling, but that I don’t quite understand it? I don’t want to offend the author, who has clearly worked very hard, and I appreciate them so much. But, I want to understand the story they’re telling, even if I’m the only one not getting it. If that even makes any sense. P.S.- thanks for always taking time to listen to fandom woes and fielding requests. You’re a champion! ❤

Hi Nonny!

First of all, there’s nothing for you to be embarrassed about! Stories are partly about authorial intent, and partly about reader interpretation; no two people will interpret a story the same, and no author SHOULD expect a reader to interpret their story exactly as the author intended. SHERLOCK is a perfect example of this (the writers SAY they meant it to be one thing and literally the ENTIRE FANDOM is divided on what’s actually being shown on screen), or if you want to be more classical, the works of Shakespeare as well.

In fact, Shakespeare is a perfect example of your problem: I love Shakespeare: it’s beautifully written, it sounds lovely to the ear, and it invokes imagery based on how someone interprets it. But I sure as heck have NO idea what I read until someone explained it to me, or how I SHOULD have interpreted it (which, is oxymoronic to my point, I know…). Only after I hear how someone else interpreted the work, I can then RE-READ a work and begin to understand what was meant by it, and then develop my own interpretations.

I’ve read a few fics by a couple authors in this fandom where I LOVED their writing, but I had NO idea what was happening until I re-read the fics… it’s a reading comprehension thing with me, I’m sure (my brain tends to move a bit quicker than I can read and talk, and in turn it also tends to wander when my eyes aren’t going fast enough, LOL), but a lot of times, if I just read a fic a second time I can then grasp the words my brain omitted the first time and then really enjoy and love the fic. I hate that about me, but that’s how my brain works… Perhaps it may be the same with your brain? If a fic is well written and you enjoyed it but just had some comprehension issues, perhaps a second read-through will help you as it has done with me :)

So, now to answer your question: if after reading a fic, and you don’t understand it, is it okay to ask the authorial intent of the story? Unfortunately, there is no yes-or-no answer to this question, Lovely, as every author is different. Personally – and this is just for me speaking, and what I would do or what I would not mind if I were the author – I think it’s alright, so long as you are respectful to them! Dig around their user pages and you can often find ways to interact with the author outside of their fics, or information about whether or not they want to read criticism etc. on their stories. If an author doesn’t want any interaction, they’ll be very clear about it, but most authors have ways to get in touch with them, so to ME that’s a saying “hey, if you have any questions, here’s how to get a hold of me!”.

If they have a Tumblr with asks turned on, you can even do it like you have done for me here; write exactly what you mentioned, just tweak a few things: Mention how much you love their prose and their storytelling, and you can really feel how much love they put into the story. You found it interesting, though you’re unclear on a few parts. Ask them kindly how they intended for an audience to read it. Many creators appreciate honesty when talking about their works, so just be honest and say that you didn’t understand something and wouldn’t mind a bit of clarification about something. They can’t fault you for not understanding something, and if they do, well… I find that rather ableist, in my opinion: That’s like telling someone with dyslexia to just stop mixing up letters, or someone who’s native language isn’t English to just learn one of the most complex languages in the world with so many structure rules that make no sense half the time…. *shrugs* It’s harsh of me to say, I am sorry about that, writers, but reading comprehension doesn’t come easily for everyone.

ANYWAY, back to my point: An author, so long as you are respectful (and maybe peppering in some compliments and praise never hurts either… a lot of us creative-types have praise kinks) and don’t throw a backhanded compliment (like don’t say: “Your work is so amazing! Though I think you should make it easier for people to understand it, your words are too complex”), they will be more than happy to write out their intent for the story. Let them know it’s YOU who’s not understanding (so, “I have trouble understanding this part” as opposed to “you should make this work easier to read for everyone”… make the onus on YOU). DON’T be demanding (like, don’t say something that can be interpreted as “it’s YOUR responsibility to cater to MY need to understand”), and be patient for a reply.

You can see why this isn’t an easy yes-or-no answer, LOL.

Essentially, kindness begets kindness, and respect begets respect. And – this isn’t an attack on you personally with regards to this ask, because I know my audience are adorably shy beans – it might be a show of good faith and intentions to stay off anon when you ask your question; it shows the author that you aren’t being malicious, just simply a smol bean who loves stories and want to learn more about theirs. BUT, it IS okay to stay on-anon if you are shy / worried about not the author but other people interpreting it the wrong way, just make sure you tailor your question to the author in a respectful way that it comes across as respect. Perhaps something like this:

Hi, [author]! I really love your story, [story title]! It’s well-written and I can really tell how much you love this story and how much soul you put into it. I just had a question for you with regards to [name concern here]. [state question here]. I have trouble sometimes with [reading comprehension, English/language, dyslexia, etc.], and I would love to know what your ideas and thought process was for [character, plot point, situation, etc.]. Understanding what the author intended really helps me enjoy the stories even more than I already did, and your thoughts would be really helpful for when I re-read your story! Thank you so much for your time, and thank you for blessing us with this beautiful story!

Or something like that, LOL. And if you genuinely aren’t a native-language speaker, let them know that it’s not your first language so you’re just honestly not grasping a colloquialism that’s common in English but not in, say, German. It’s more common than you think! I’ve had people ask me in private before about a phrase I’ve written or about how they should interpret a meta of mine; I’ve never taken insult upon it, and in fact I love helping people understand my work so that they can enjoy other peoples’ content in the future.

As an additional thought I just had, I think a good example of fandom-understanding-authors is, actually, the @johnlockficclub; every couple months or so we read new stories, and then at the end of the story, we ask authors our questions about their intent of the stories, and in turn the author gets an interesting (I hope) insight into how various people interpreted their stories. Even during the live-chats leading up to the author q-and-a, we all see how we each interpreted certain sections of the chapters we read that week, and see various viewpoints we never considered. So I think that is a wonderful way to see authorial intent vs. reader interpretation, and as far as I know, all the authors we’ve “interviewed” loved just getting that kind of feedback for their stories. You should join in on at least the author interviews just to see how they go and give you some ideas on how an author will take feedback. It’s so fascinating to me!

Just a fun little anecdote that oftentimes, it is a positive experience for an author because most of them love to talk about their stories – their stories are their children, and they care deeply for them, because it’s a part of them, and it’s an expression of their love. They WANT you to understand and enjoy their work. It’s a cyclical thing: if you understand their children so you can love them too, then they will love their fanbase and will want to continue to write since they received feedback that was validating to them that they produce work that people enjoy and want to know more about.

Finally, I’d love for some authors to weigh in on their thoughts about this; would you be offended if someone loved your story but would want your clarification on some things, or want to know how you intended for the audience to perceive it? Please let us know!

Sorry this answer was so long, but I hope it helps!

P.S. Aww, you’re far too kind, Nonny! me. XD

#steph replies #my advice #fan fiction #authorial intent vs reader interpretation #my thoughts #Anonymous

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televisionoperator · 3 years

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(same anon from earlier) YEAH YEAH ive seen a big thing in stuff getting internet popular is just like. sorta how relatable/easy to project on it is so you get a lot of stuff where the writings super shallow and ppl will like expand on the story/characters themselves way beyond what the source material ever did (which sucks when the original material just sucks/has bad writing but can be cool for like video games and stuff like i cant think of any examples off the top of my head) and then also one thing ive seen is that a lot of things that get absolutey HUGE beyond what they deserve tend to be things where the worldbuilding has some sort of like. system of Groups where the Groups are distinct and have some correlation to what their members tend to be like (like with steven universe gemsonas, a lot of media that have any sort of magic system where different people have different types of powers, theres a few more specific examples i can think of but theyre too horrid for me to want to list) and like. basically im rambling forever but what im saying is that like if its really easy to say "oh if i was a character in this fictional world i would be [whatever] and i would have [whatever ability]" + things that give people a lot of freedom to sorta interpret things and write them themself will make it 1. WAY easier for people to get attached to the world / the media as a whole and 2. people are WAY more likely to want to share about it with their friends which both contribute a lot to popularity. and like a more contained story with more strongly-established characters can be a lot harder to project on if you dont relate to any of the characters. like ofc this isnt exact ive seen a lot of things that should be popular bc of this and arent and theres a ton of things popular for other reasons / a lot of other factors to whether stuff gets popular but i think its a big deal. AND SORRY FOR THE BILLION WORD LONG ANON ASK IM JUST LIKE REALLY FASCINATED BY WHAT MAKES CERTAIN MEDIA GET SOOOO SUPER POPULAR (ALSO I HATE HARRY POTTER/ETC AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY I REALLY DO LOL)

THANK U SO MUCH for this little mini essay i agree wholeheartedly. i think that there is a problem in a lot of media wherein characters will pointedly have so little development bc people tend to. idk relate to them more?? sympathize? whatever. i feel like the whole ‘fandom experience’ should ALWAYS be a backseat to like genuinely enjoying a piece of media. like this is just my opinion and i mean i guess its not a problem if the piece of media we’re referring to isn’t actively harmful but it still really takes away from it. or even in something really innocuous like what happened with gaster in undertale. where people who were in that fan-space were so.... intrinsically obsessed with developing and explaining gaster to a mollecular level and ignoring a lot of the other character development. and more pointedly ignoring the canon wlw couple in favor of wanting to bone sans (no pun intended) but thats a completely different matter. its just so. idk if fascinating is the right word for it but it really is. how people consistently favor media that they can twist to their specific ideals of shipping and fandom culture rather than media that they can enjoy.

#01110100

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spockandawe · 7 years

Text

So you’ve heard Spock is the actual literal devil

Have you heard that I’m a terrible person? A plagiarist? Have you been told that I’m only into transformers at all because I wanted to make this one random guy unhappy? If you’ve been told that, you’ve probably also been told that a year and a half later, I’m still making fanworks just to upset him. You might have even heard that shhhh, don’t disagree with Spock on anything, or they’ll hunt you down and harass you.

Right, okay. This is one hell of a saga that I will attempt to tell in as compressed a form as possible. It’s a lot. Years ago, back in HS, there was this one guy who policed the hell out of one of the character tags. I’m going to call him C. He’d pressure people not to make the content they were making, decry the hateful people reading with a malicious eye who thought the character would ever do anything bad (the character was a creep). And because being obnoxious wasn’t bad enough, if you didn’t cave to his demands, he just might do things like start whisper campaigns about how you support rape, casually out you as a survivor, cute little things like that.

This is not a story about that guy.

This is a story about C’s one-time attack dog, eventual boyfriend, and current ex. We’ll go ahead and call him R. I’ve tried real hard to avoid namedropping on my blog before, but could people find him from this? Probably. Have I stopped caring? Absolutely.

TL;DR, unsubstantiated accusations of serial harassment are a little questionable when they’re coming from someone with a years-long, extensively documented history of serial harassment and a personal grudge against me.

Cut for length.

Edit 7/2/2017: R has posted that he regrets making these posts about me, and admits that he said things that were out of line. And he’s stated that he’s going to try to do better in the future. I genuinely, truly appreciate that. I’m leaving this post up because there have been lies about me floating around for a while and I reserve the right to defend myself, but I really do appreciate that.

Oh balls, none of this makes sense without backstory (I’m so sorry)

If you think I suck or my work sucks, that’s fine! You do you, go enjoy the things that make you happy.

If you think I’m the devil because this one guy told you about my evil, evil past and all my terrible misdeeds, without anything at all to back up his words? You can ask me. I don’t bite, and oh lordy do I have receipts.

To be clear, R is totally allowed to hate me! I don't care. I don't care if he hates my writing, I don't care if he hates me as a person. But now he's escalated to spreading lies about me, and people are believing him, and I’m not enough of a doormat to let that just stand.

And I’m going to cheat a little. Here’s a memo with the cliffs notes version (not the original memo, I made a copy with C’s urls cropped out since he hasn’t attacked anyone in a long while). Warning, digging any distance into this turns up violent fantasies, violent sexual fantasies, creepy interactions with a minor, and lots more, it’s all really, really unpleasant. Evidence is thoroughly documented, please tread with care.

You would not believe how truncated that is compared to the reality.

Now, the worst of this came via C. Who has calmed down a lot these days, and I’m really happy that’s the case. Good for him. I hope his life continues in a direction where he doesn’t find it necessary to do this stuff.

Lucky for me, R was standing by to pick up the slack.

It doesn’t show up as much in the memo, which is mostly C-focused, but R was standing by C this whole time, defending his right to spread around private information about someone’s abuse history, sending nasty messages on the other guy’s behalf, and much,much more. it’s long, it’s awful, it’s unpleasant. R personally hurt people in some significant ways that I don’t want to link directly, for their sake. He expressed deep remorse a few times, but it never stuck.

Here’s my personal favorite quote from R. He’s speaking to the CSA survivor that C casually outed (with information given to him in confidence), and who they’d been running a long, long whisper campaign against, and who was understandably a bit upset over the whole thing:

oh go wank to your own tears [name]

#and get your sympathizers to help #nasty fucking people #maybe if you cry enough youll be able to go into second grade in the fall #ooc

Said, again, to a CSA survivor they outed and harassed. That person is such a sweetheart, and this screencap still infuriates me.

The first time I saw C pick a fight he had lots of friends. Shockingly, as he did things like loudly fantasize about how he wants to mutilate people and rant about how autistic people should die, those friends mostly drifted away. I know one person had a friend even help them stage a faux relationship-ending fight, so they could be sure they’d be able to completely cut and run from C. R stuck with him, though. Eventually they even started dating.

‘Spock followed R into transformers to harass him and stalks his favorite characters just to harass him more’

Then, transformers. Here, let me show you the first post (by R) that ever brought MTMTE to my attention. I spent years being aggressively uninterested in transformers, but this caught my eye

and honestly, ppl (adults too!!!) shipping someone who has the mentality of a child and is quite glaringly lacking a world of experiences and general understanding of things outside of ‘good’ and ‘bad’, with an adult, is just. very alarming and gross to me.

and honestly, the fact that there is a large portion of people who want him to become romantically (and sexually!!!) involved with either one of two fucking adults in canon, and hell, esp those defending it with ‘hes an adult too tho!!’ is really gross.

you can pretend all you want that hes ‘an adult’ because his body is, but theres no way jro didnt intent to code him as a child. stop fetishizing children lmao,

#pedophilia -/-/- #cygate -/-/- #if someone comes at me screaming ‘rule 38′ im gonna shove them in a locker

I didn’t know transformers, but I was pretty sure this was some straight-up bullshit.

(but don’t worry, he ships it now! no hypocrisy here, no sir)

It’s “really gross” to ship this adult with other adults. Mm. Given the reasonableness of the claims these guys have made in the past, and given their extensive history of harassing people over those claims, I hopped to the wiki to check it out. I read a bit about the comic and the plot, and all of it sounded so fascinating that I just had to give the comic a try.

Reader, I married it.

I shotgunned MTMTE 1-47 in two days, started doing fanworks right out of the gate, and I’ve never looked back. A lot of my art was cygate, because come on, the comic wants you to ship it so bad, my first readthrough ended with issue 47, and that was the first ship I’d ever read about for the series, even before I dove in.

Now, both these characters punch me right in the heart, in some painfully personal ways. Tailgate’s the more relevant one here, but I don’t even know if I could do justice to the emotions both of them give me.

I’m still not a fan of how R’s lies about me have edged me into needing to say this in public, but okay. I’m developmentally delayed. It’s been a rough ride. And Tailgate hits me in some of those spots so hard it just takes my breath away. I’ve got a lot of baggage over not being a real adult, and not in the funny oh-no-how-do-taxes-work way, more like an extended months-long meltdown my first year of college because I can tell that my friends are years ahead of me and I don’t know how to even start catching up, and just existing, as myself, is humiliating.

All of my relationship milestones have come painfully, painfully late. The whole thing is still one awful emotional bruise. I hate it, and I hate how easy it is to convince myself that yeah, of course you don’t actually deserve to be treated as an adult and you never will. Just look at you. So then it is unbelievably important to me that I can see someone someone who is like me, being treated as a legitimate adult, and being able to have an adult relationship.

Hearing that shipping someone like me is essentially pedophilia is the opposite of that.

But he ships it now, so everything is fine :)

Yeah, you know what? Another fucking receipt.

uGHGH im so tired of all the rabid cy// /gat// //e fans like even cy’s giving em a look like ‘leave my fucking child alone’

#i just #im hoping jro has some taste tho and doesnt make an adult date a child #and if not im hoping the outcome blows over soon bc im so tired of seeing people defend pedophilia #pedophilia -/-/-

Parental.

This continued even after JRO explicitly confirmed Tailgate was an adult.

Bonus ableism: shipping Whirl (another character who hits me way too hard) isn’t okay either. Even though there isn’t the excuse of ‘but he only lived three years--’ No, at that point, you’re saying that an adult who fails to adult correctly does not count, and isn’t allowed to have romantic relationships. It makes my skin crawl, and it is an issue which is very personally and directly important to me.

So some of my cygate was porn from the start (it’s what I write. it’s what I draw.), and some of the porn was made because I was upset over discourse that says someone like me needs to be treated as a child. I played with cywhirlgate too, because omg how could I not, and some of that was porn as well. It was ages ago, so I don’t remember the details for every little thing I made. But when I saw someone saying that Cyclonus and Tailgate had a parental relationship, I’m sure that helped nudge me in that direction. Maybe R thinks I should have channeled my emotions by starting a whisper campaign to exclude him from fandom spaces. But I think my way of working through bad emotions might have been a little healthier than that.

So when R accuses me of making cygate content to spite him? Half true. Just true enough to be real fucking dishonest. R spent a nice long time insisting that cygate was pedophilia. I channeled my outrage over that ableism into fan creations.

I didn’t attack him. I talked about him some – on a private forum, with people who’d already been aware of him and had been watching him and C hurt people for years, plural. I haven’t told people on tumblr any real details about him until now. And R still is happy to talk about how it was his toxic ex’s right to post torture/rape/murder porn vent fic about actual people.

Tell me, how exactly am I in the wrong?

Bonus pettiness: I posted some cywhirlgate porn. The next day, R vaguely whined about robot pedophilia and turned around and wrote some obviously-a-response cywhirlgate. Where it was super platonic and the text explicitly said it was super platonic and it even had platonic thigh nuzzling. With two “children” involved. Of course I turned around and wrote more fic of my own, because jesus h christ that made my skin crawl. You want to play this game? I guarantee I can write faster than you, let’s do this. (he did not follow through on that)

I’d also like to say that forgetting inconvenient little details like this is a thing with R. Hard to call me terrible for writing spitefic when you write it yourself.

A history of Spock’s personal involvement

Let’s backtrack a tiny bit. You may notice I am up to my elbows in this nonsense for no clear reason.

I was friends with some of the people C was taking shots at, and I was unfortunate enough to believe his original smear campaign about that one artist (I’m still ashamed about that). I cared about a number of people C was trying to hurt. I think one or two fanworks of mine upset him, but he already had loads of targets. I kept tabs on him and R, because anxiety is the gift that just keeps giving.

Eventually, C fantasized about wanting to put my former datemate’s hand through a meat grinder (ey wrote a fic that portrayed his fave in a negative light). And R defended his right to do that.

The person he posted about is still feeling the effects of that incident. I’m still feeling the effects of that. And it wasn’t even directed at me, just someone I care deeply about.

R has recently posted that ‘oh my goodness, C sure was awful, remember when he posted this thing about a meat grinder and how unreasonable it was?’ Thanks buddy, glad you noticed, now just go ahead and keep on blaming me for the aftereffects of what your boyfriend did, and what you defended.

After that, it was months before I could properly look away from either of their blogs.

C posted extensively about trying to track down the street address of his ~enemies~ (including the one whose genitals he fantasized about mutilating). He posted about how autistics should die. He had skype chats about wanting to do amateur brain surgery on people. All while posting very often about finding real addresses.

Yeah, it’s more than a year later, and every so often I get a stab of anxiety and have to head off to double check on what these two are up to.

I will repeat that C has been pretty chill lately. He’s got a career he’s aiming for. Good for him, go find success, please don’t slip back into being an internet bully. It’s sad and upsetting to see R echoing some of the early patterns of his ex, and it’s so strange to see me labeled as his own personal enemy.

‘Spock will totally come harass you too’ and/or various accusations of ableism

So there are some things I did in the mix in this history that I regret. Occasionally, I went out and flipped through the blogs of C and R’s friends, seeing if maybe they’d had said something in their notes, did they have any vagueblogs C liked, did they post about— It got unreasonable. I admit that. Anxiety was at the root of it, but it absolutely got unreasonable. And also it is a massive time sink, and I can’t remember the last time I bothered with it. I enjoy life much more when anxiety and paranoia issues don’t have their claws in me. This hasn’t been an issue in a very long time.

I came down hard on some of the kinfeels and system stuff too, which I do walk back a bit. C’s approach was… hahaha. It was something. And he was my intro to the kin and system paradigms. I saw R talking about C’s approach being unreasonable too, pretty recently. So that was an unfortunate bit of poison in how I processed the next people I met who did that sort of thing. I don’t do kin stuff, but I get it. And DID may not strictly apply to all systems, by the formal diagnostic criteria, but I’ve learned there are plenty of other dissociative disorders out there. And I met people who were multiples and who did kin things that weren’t these two guys. Which helped a LOT.

But the big one, hmmm. C wrote a fic. The idea was interesting, but the execution frustrated me. Everyone but the main lead felt so… flat. Everyone was constantly cruel to the main, for no reason. I saw a way to riff on the original text while staying true to its shape, and writing my bad emotions out is also a major, major thing I do to cope. Now, my big thing is that I should have asked before I remixed. I’d been thinking in terms of, y’know, transformative fanworks. Even with authors like Anne McCaffrey and Anne Rice, who fought against fandom, people have still felt that it should be allowed, even against their wishes. So I wrote the remix. I gave full credit on ao3 in the ‘inspired by’ box, linked to the original with positive words, the whole shebang.

The guy was still furious, and… that’s fair. I thought I’d written a thing on self-sabotage that was pretty sympathetic and compelling, and the self-sabotage actually drew a lot on my own personal history. But I gave the main flaws he strongly disagreed with, and I didn’t ask for permission. I get why he was/is angry over it.

I’ve been a fixture on their shitlists ever since :P

It’s remarkable, even while R posts now about ‘oh my god, remember how C wrote the creepiest things?’, I’m still the one who’s the the actual worst, for being skeeved out by the creepy things and finding a constructive way to deal with it. R’s controlling ex gets full freedom when it comes to vent fic, even when it’s about wallowing in torturing, raping, and murdering an avatar for a real person (the original one they harassed!), or punching someone in the face until they agree to be your friend (another artist these guys targeted). But R’s position seems to be that only C is allowed to vent (even if it’s genital mutilation fantasies), and I’m definitely not.

Oh, and R has now expanded this remix into me totally having a consistent pattern of stealing ideas and plagiarism and so many remixes that are obviously done as revenge on anyone who pisses me off. So that’s nice.

So R hates your writing. Is that seriously why this post exists?

Ha, no. Let’s look at the concrete things R is saying. Here, let me post a little sampling of evidence.

These aren’t just things he’s shouting into the void, people have responded saying wow, I never knew that! These are lies that people are believing about me. And then yesterday, June 30, 2017, he warned a friend not to disagree with my meta, or I’d come harass them. A friend I’m aggressively leaving out of this, just as I’m leaving out other responses, because these people don’t deserve to be dragged into R’s bullshit.

Let’s have bullet points. Some of these are the silly spock-is-bad-at-writing complaints. Those are here because this whole mess is pretty fucking depressing and the ridiculous claims make me laugh, but these are all things he says.

Spock is evil – You know what, he’s not calling people pedophiles, which is a step up. I’ll take it.

Spock is a plagiarist – I remixed one fic with full credit, said only good things about the original, and linked to it in extra places so that people would have extra opportunities to click through and check it out. I arguably remixed inappropriately, but that’s not the same thing. Words have definitions. If I’m a plagiarist, so is everyone who’s ever written a fanfic.

Spock is something something mean when people disagree – I don’t even know, man. I’m actually shockingly conflict-averse. Is this because I make walls of text and explain why I hold opinions at great length? I enjoy talking about a thing I love. I’m autistic, I’m hyperverbal, and this is my special interest, so is it that I talk a lot? That’s the best I can do. I’ve talked about things I disagree with on a private forum, in which case mister pot has had a lot of fun in public on twitter, not only talking shit, but also spreading outright untruths. Maybe he wants to rethink this one.

Spock will come harass you if you disagree – You need to back the heck down, pal.

Spock’s meta/fic/characterization is bad and they should feel bad – Hahaha, fite me. He won’t, because I can articulately defend myself at significant length, and his criticisms seem to stop at ‘spock sucks’, but hey.

Spock used ableist language about Whirl - I... what? This one confuses me and makes me laugh so it stays here. Also, holy double standards, batman.

Spock is only into transformers to harass R – I checked out transformers because I was pretty sure R was being disgustingly ableist (he was). I stayed in transformers because I adore it. I had to adore it a lot to make me willing to share fandom space with these two. My god, I have better things to do with my life than spend all my time on something that bores me just to annoy one asshole on the other side of the internet. I’d ask if he thinks I spent dozens of painstaking hours cross-stitching Starscream just to bother him, but….. yep, pretty sure he does.

Spock goes after all of R’s favorite characters to upset him – R latches on to just about every interesting and/or sympathetic character that shows up. When he was dating C, they covered most of the cast between them. I don’t care who R likes best because I don’t agree with his opinions. I tend to stay away from his opinions because I don’t like reading things that bother me. This is asnine. I’m only allowed to like the characters R despises, I guess.

Spock makes fanworks for things R likes just to make him see them – Oh my god, I don’t caaaaaare. I write about things that interest me, unless I’m venting. Say, venting about the way R and his ex have deliberately hurt a shockingly high number of people I care about. ‘Spock made rodistar because I liked it--’ I made it because I wrote a thing about their parallels, and shipping was the obvious next step. R isn’t that important to me. Promise.

This is just exhausting, man. The anxiety bugs had been dying down, and it had been ages since I checked out this guy’s anything. C, who drove the whole initial blowup that led to this, has been quiet and chill on tumblr. But R has learned from his ex’s old example and has been having fun spreading lies about me.

In conclusion

Some fun history.

R was 18 when he told a CSA survivor upset about being outed and harassed to wank using their tears for lube.

He was older than that when he defended C’s right to post about wanting to mutilate someone’s genitals (for the crime of saying C’s logic didn’t make sense).

He was older than that when he complained about that person’s spouse being ‘vicious’ for reacting badly to C’s genital mutilation fantasy.

He was older than that when he nodded along as C called autistic people retards and said they should die.

He was older than that when he talked about being happy that someone he disliked was triggered, and nodded along when C fantasized about that person drinking bleach.

And he was older than that when he defended C, his twenty-something boyfriend, against the thirteen-year-old that C had been having incredibly inappropriate conversations with, despite skype log proof and everything.

And despite all this, I’m still the bad guy, because I didn’t think what they were doing was okay. I’m the bad guy for being upset by C's actions, even though... R is now upset by C’s actions. The ways I responded to C were inexcusable. My only motivation is to hurt people. Every thing I did that ever upset them still means I’m terrible, even though R is saying this while he’s busy posting about how awful C is. And this all means that he needs to warn his friends not to catch my attention, or I’ll come harass them.

So, I’m tired.

I’m very tired.

I’m glad he’s trying to grow past that history. Good. Maybe he can do that without making up a story about how I’m unrepentant villain who lives for villainy and who only takes joy in causing him pain. I’m sure it helps him, because it’s a story that brushes aside the shit he did that he regrets, and makes his past less painful to think about. But that doesn’t mean I’m okay with him telling lies about me.

I don’t know why I’m the one boogeyman he has left (I kid, it’s because I’m in transformers, and because he thinks I’m popular. he harps on it a lot, and it’s weird for everyone). I mean, whatever. I’ve aggressively avoided publishing drama details on here for a very long time. But there are two blog tags, miscellaneous other untagged blog content, three forum threads, and hundreds of pages of skype logs with hard evidence of this bullshit.

I’m pretty sure that if he tries to defend himself, one, he’ll place some blame on his ex. That’s fair. C was pretty darn controlling and demanding. But R is still absolutely responsible for his own actions, and is especially responsible for the harm he personally caused. He’ll talk about how it’s bullshit to pull up all these receipts from so very long ago. In that case, his receipts for me (whatever he even has) are equally old, so aren’t they null and void? No, because Spock is the devil. And it’s not so much bullshit if he’s clearly learned nothing, and has gone back to spreading outright falsehoods about people.

To be clear, a lot of the lies he told about me were told a while back. Weeks to a few months to a year. I was letting it sit, because I’d really, really hoped this was over. Yesterday, June 30, 2017, he warned a friend not to publicly disagree with my meta or I’d come and harass them.

It’s been three years since I first saw him doing this. I’ve watched him hurt a lot of people, and I’ve watched him admit, multiple times, that he has hurt people. I thought he’d learned to stop following these toxic patterns. Apparently he has not.

Edit 7/2/2017: To repeat the edit up above, R has said he regrets posting these things about me, and that he's going to try to avoid slipping into this in the future. I very much appreciate that.

#drama tag #abusaa tag #tw: all #i can't list them all it's too many #just tread with care

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nothingbeatsreadingintherain · 8 years

Text

Tag 9 People You Want to Get to Know Better...

I was tagged by @luna-myth

Questions:

What is your age? 18

What is your current job? Full time student at UC Davis, although I do plan on working in the following quarter and I work at GAP during breaks

What are you talented at? Well…lets see…Mario Kart, really any Super Mario game, running, depending on fanficiton for life just as much as I depend on oxygen. I’m also rather good with English and Math, although I enjoy English much more since I am a bookworm at heart. Fun fact, I’m not that bad at acting and I’m also trilingual… Honestly though, I always hate talking about myself because I feel like I’m selfish/conceded and so I tell myself to just never bring me up BUT at the same time I do want to be more confident in myself and- OH RIGHT. As you noticed, I’m very very talented at being extremely paranoid. Perhaps what I’m most talented at is procrastinating (not by choice, trust me…). I know it’s not something to be proud of but honestly, it gets kind of amusing in a terrifying HOLY MOTHER OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN YOURE GOING TO DIE type of way to see just how far I can push the bounds of procrastination without actually dying…dont try that at home kids…

What is a goal you are working at or have already achieved? I really want to make it out of college alive and be able to graduate. Also, I want to FINALLY get my driver’s license.

What’s your aesthetic? Im not sure what this question is really asking but I love pajamas ALL DAY EVERY DAY 24/7. As for how others look, I’m not picky with that either, if what they wear makes them happy then I’m happy as well.

Do you collect anything? Does homework at the last minute count? No? Ok…well, I used to collect rocks and seashells, but now its mostly Funko Pops and books. TV Shows, music, and fandoms as well, along with A WHOLE LOT OF FAN FICTION, I CANT EVER GET ENOUGH OF IT. Also tiny things that will immediately transport me back to the memory that corresponds with that particular item.

What’s a topic you always talk about? Well, I love nature and especially the ocean, Jellyfish and whales are ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING! Ancient Egypt, yummy food, books, more food…did I mention books? OOOOOO ESPECIALLY THE SMELL OF BOOKS AND THE FEELING OF SLOWLY CARESSING THEIR SPINE (I swear i’m not insane). I also talk a lot about Dr. Who, Harry Potter, OUAT, Beauty and the Beast, Rumbelle, Rumbelle again for emphasis, Emilie de Ravin, and Robert Carlyle…Come to think about it I talk a lot so I can write pages upon pages of things I talk a lot about.

What is a pet peeve of yours? Ok so I bike a lot (being at Davis and all) and It REALLY REALLY REALLY bothers me when a pedestrian decides its ok to walk in the middle of the firkin bike lane when they have an entire area designated especially for them…I can’t tell you the number of times I almost ran someone over just because they thought it would be hilarious to scare jump into the middle of the bike lane for a laugh. It also really bothers me when someone is walking really slow and they’re blocking the path…I try to have patience but God knows I’m severely lacking in that area when it comes to that. I also don’t like it when people don’t say thank you at work after I help them with whatever they needed (retail problem) or when they yell over something I have no control of.

Good advice to give? At the risk of sounding naive: live your authentic self and do what makes you happy. I know it can be hard at times, but honestly, you only ever get one life, so always make the most of situations and stay positive. I like to be genuinely positive and kind to others as a firm believer that a smile can go a long long way, but sometimes people take that as an invitation to take advantage. And honestly, as confident as I thought I was, sometimes I chose to just turn a blind eye and let it happen for the sake of “peace” (I only channeled my inner vampire when it came to my friends and family, for them I could pull my fangs out). My biggest mistake was confusing silence with peace, so here’s my advice: I know it’s hard, I know you’ve probably heard it million times and have now deduced it to be an overused “inspirational” phrase that in the end isn’t as easy as it seems, but don’t let anything impede you from standing up for yourself and protecting your happiness, whatever that may be. And dont forget to embrace yourself! I was always a weird kid, and it wasn’t until recently that I realized it’s actually a blessing (normal is just so very boring after all…).

What are three songs you’d recommend? Its hard narrowing it down to three, but here ya’ go:

1) “Sail” (Unlimited Gravity Remix) by Awolnation

2) “Dog Days are Over” by Florence and the Machine

3) “Instant Crush” by Daft Punk ft. Julian Casablancas

(bonus: any Melanie Martinez song, they’re all amazing)

I’m kind of still easing into the world of Tumblr and don’t actually now many people yet, but here are the people I’m nominating: @thequeenandherswan @mariequitecontrarie @rumbelleinthebrooke @bookwormchocaholic @nirvigedearie @simplythedarkone @lulabelle714 @advah @dizzykat28560:

PS: I didn’t proofread this, so sorry for any typos/ improper grammar that may have slipped my mind/notice…

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