#im forced to fight for basic respect from men who get away with 3 times what would get me fired every fucking day

[baeddling]

Post: men are privileged under the patriarchy and are not oppressed for being men

Replies: um actually OP intersectionality means misandry is real!!!1!11!!!! Clearly you never ever ever talk to men

[greensconnor]

i’m asking about your dragon age characters

molly i would KILL for u im ur personal hitman now

anyway i said my city now because the entire bioware writing team sucks shit xoxo and i’m so much smarter than all of them but also fully incapable of having a normal amount of ocs for anything (see: the time i made 20 rwby ocs in less than two weeks) so i have. five worldstates here r some assorted thoughts

uhhh so the worldstates r as follows

eira mahariel (two-handed berserk/champ spec), rhett hawke (two-handed berserk spec), alas lavellan (mage knight enchanter spec), romanced alistair/fenris/dorian respectively

shiv tabris (dual wield duelist/assassin spec), radella “rads” hawke (mage spirit healer spec), kat adaar (two-handed reaver spec), romanced morrigan/isabela/cassandra respectively because im a pc gamer and i think i should be able to date whatever video game woman i like because im infinitely better than cishet men

this world state said yeah i respect mens rights. mens rights to shut the fuck up

twins bronson (sword/shield reaver spec) & bryant cousland (archer ranger spec), carmine hawke (archer assassin spec), syracuse trevelyan (dual wield tempest spec), romanced zevran/anora/josephine/bull. if ur wondering how that works my city now and the warden, hawke and the inquisitor should all meet and so they do because i Said So

riva amell (mage arcane warrior/battlemage spec), graham “gray” hawke (mage force spec), hellathen “hela” lavellan (archer assassin spec); romanced cullen/anders and later blackwall because hawke only likes men who will break his heart. hela doesn’t have a romance because she’s literally 20. who let her lead the inquisition (me it was me). also it should be noted the version of cullen i have in my head only vaguely resembles actual cullen because i write better than dragon age writers ever could and i gave him an Actual Cohesive Narrative and he gets bullied relentlessly for being scrawnier than his mage boyfriend

malien “mal” surana (mage spirit healer/keeper spec), jules hawke (sword/shield reaver spec), ash adaar (mage rift spec), romanced leliana/merrill/krem because i should have been able to kiss krem and its a Crime that i am not allowed to

knight enchanter is a Very op specialization and by Very op i mean it makes a mage with their built-in low constitution stats able to solo the biggest baddest dragon in the game on nightmare mode in under five minutes so like. alas lavellan fist fights dragons for fun send tweet

i think lavellans should be able to hit ppl with bricks for all the shit they endure. thus solas gets pranked by mahariel and alas by which i mean they just tip buckets of water onto him from the rookery

kat might be my only competent inquisitor but she did also try to knock out the right hand of the divine and attempt to gap even tho there’s fucky magic burning up her hand so does she have a brain cell? you decide

also its fantasy land and i do what i want so kat has blue/gold sectoral heterochromia

gray “mage rights” hawke is best friends with fenris which surprises literally everyone. their friendship started because they got into a fist fight and then they were like okay i respect u now. hawke is like hey fenris give me ur sword i have a fun trick to show u [uses his sword as a foci to zap carver in the ass with lightning]

i am Always thinking abt like how cullen could have been one man anti-chantry propaganda machine if he hadn’t so blatantly been shoehorned into every game past origins so anyway bioware forgot about a wholeass moon i can write what i like. [holds up cullen by the scruff of his stupid armor] not only are you bisexual you are also a bottom

i also Hate the whole uwu mage haters get fixed by romancing a mage

unlocked secret dialogue option where my inquisitors verbally cuss out dorian’s dad instead of whatever sympathetic narrative the writers were going for cuz its bullshit.

riva is a showoff and a Menace about being as good as he is because he unabashedly loves being a mage and hes like oooh look at me im sexy i dont need to use my hands to cast magic because i’m just that good ;)) and you know what. hes right.

gray, on the other hand, does Not want to be mage. he wants to be a druffalo farmer and retire in the hinterlands and be left the fuck alone. unfortunately he is gay and has one brain cell and terrible, terrible taste in men. ribbed relentlessly for this by riva (altho does he have room to talk hes been hung up on cullen since he was like 13)

shiv is trans n kieran is the result of doing the dark ritual with her wife and he looks a Lot like shiv (dark skin pointed ears, shock-white hair) and morrigan always just Assumed she dyed it or did something magic with it so seeing their kid come out like that was a WEIRD time for her

leliana almost Murdered by cassandra in worldstate 5 because the warden is Actually There The Whole Time, but its been 10 years, mal’s cut off all her hair and gotten full facial tattoos and she’s like “no one will know its me its fine” and she’s right. she gets away with it. only cullen like, Knows, because he knew her before the blight but he doesnt have a death wish n he like. will Not piss her off

shes dalish by birth n she was stolen from her clan by templars and thus is vehemently anti-circle and anti-chantry in general

uhhh the vallaslin (elf face tattoos) of my 4 dalish characters are:

eira = ghilan’nain (chose em cuz shes rlly interested in the navigation aspect of the goddess)

alas = falon’din (god of the dead n he picked them because he’s Also the god of fortune and alas is like tee hee fun but also he can and will kill u if u fuck with him so yk its fitting)

hela = june (god of the craft bc she likes to Make things but june is also the god who taught the elves 2 hunt and hela is. a hunter.)

mal = elgar’nan (allfather/god of vengeance bc. she is Vengeful. she is Angry. but yk fucking with shem politics and fucking their divine is like. mal may have little a retribution. as a treat.) yes she has the full half-face solid colour tattoo she does NOT fuck around.

bronson and bryant r not genetically identical but they Look similar enough 2 anyone who doesn’t know them well enough 2 play spot the distance. anora and bronson think this is a super fun game to play, especially when nobles realize they’ve swapped out the king but they’re too nervous to say anything

eira mahariel has two hands. one is for holding hands with alistair and the other is for throttling elven gods, apparently. she’s killed one before so solas she’s coming for your bitch ass next. watch urself.

speaking of eira and alistair are married thru dalish tradition and humans don’t recognize it n alistair loves 2 re-propose to her with random things. he’ll just pick up like. a bit of cheese and be like “marry me ;)” and she’s like GASP but whatever will the chantry say!!!! all of their friends r sick of them

“vhenan if you love me bring me a sword” “you think i could do better than a sword made out of space rock?” “:)”

eira is my youngest hero at 18 at the start of her game and kat is my oldest at 32 at the start of her game.

none of my hawkes are under six foot. rhett is the tallest (6′8″) and rads is the shortest (6′2″).

syracuse trevelyan would have been the Perfect inquisitor if he were not a pretty boy himbo and a gay bastard who does Most Things just to spite his parents.

[corypheus pointing at syracuse’s visage in his crystal orb thingo] i want that twink obliterated

i love the companions from older games return thing i truly do so i make it a point for Every companion to return in inquisition so the gang rlly is all here because i am a Slutte for found family

i lie in my keep worldstates because i dont want to choose between hawke and alistair during here lies the abyss but i never make him king and every time i play inquisition and cole has the wicked grace line it makes me Scream. alistair baby im so sorry i did this to you but i didnt actually do this to you

yes this is my everyone lives au but like. all the time. i have never left hawke in the fade and i do not intend to.

fuck whatever nonsense about wardens not being able 2 have kids. by sheer divine power (me) anora and bryant have three daughters; eleanor, sabina & cecelia n both bronson and zevran make Excellent uncles because i think anora deserves good things because i’m tired of bioware being like women bad, actually,

so like most of the time i have the warden & hawke turning up after the move to skyhold n then staying on, with the exception of bryant, carmine & mal. mal is as mentioned previously just There the whole time with her girlfriend. bryant steps in as king of ferelden w/ interests in closing the big hole in the sky spewing demons in2 his kingdom yk. carmine shows up because she wants to help & she wants protection for bethany but she outright says she’d rather die than be inquisitor so cassandra is shit out of luck.

“CHANGE HER MIND VARRIC” “she once doubled down on insisting amaranth was a shade of blue because she didn’t want to admit to being wrong. no one’s changing her mind seeker”

alas is the middle child of eight and is thus very good with children and also bossing around people older than him. 2 of his older siblings come to the inquisition when stuff in wycome has been settled

i left ash with the basic canon background with Some variation (he grew up under the qun and left of his own free will when his magic was discovered n he realized he couldn’t take living as a saarebas

kat on the other hand was raised tal-vashoth and has bounced around basically all over thedas and leads her own merc company when the conclave blows up. she also speaks multiple languages. is there a language she doesn’t speak? probably not

just realized how long this got so im gonna like. stop my general rambling now but lmao yeah theres some basics. waves hands.

[hollowedsammy]

Hello, hello, everyone! My name is Susie, I am 21-soon-to-be-22, I live in the EST timezone, and this is the first of my two characters, Sam! If you’d like to plot, like this or IM me! This contains his basic info, backstory, info about what he’s currently up to, some misc. information, a small playlist, tropes that apply to him, and wanted connections. Yeah... I went a little hard.

☾  ↪  cillian murphy, male, forty, he/him.  ／  ❛  have you heard from samuel marx lately ？ yeah, the forty year old mechanic / drug dealer. pretty sure they’ve been here twenty years, and from what i’ve heard, sam can be kind of cynical  &  self-serving, but i caught them on a good day once, and they were pretty funny & clever. i’m probably overthinking it, but given all the crazy shit around here, i hope they’re okay. maybe they’re watching their favorite scary movie, i heard it’s child’s play.

trigger warnings: homophobia, parental/domestic abuse, self-harm, depression

BASIC INFORMATION

Full name: Samuel Joseph Marx

Nickname(s): Sam (everyone), Sammy (his mother, close friends, or significant others only)

Age: 40

Gender: male

Sexual orientation: bisexual

Birthday: January 12, 1956

Zodiac: Capricorn

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Personality type: ISFJ

Family: Joseph Marx (father, deceased), Serafine Marx (mother, deceased)

Criminal record: shoplifting (3 counts), underage drinking (2 counts), auto theft (1 count), fraud (2 counts), possession with the intent to distribute (2 counts)

TROPES

Beware the Quiet Ones

Cornered Rattlesnake

The Cynic

Deadpan Snarker

Don’t You Dare Pity Me!

Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas

I Just Want to be Loved

I Need a Freaking Drink

Lower-Class Lout

Not Good With People

Perpetual Frowner

The Runaway

Smarter Than You Look

The Snark Knight

Sour Outside, Sad Inside

When He Smiles

FIVE-SONG PLAYLIST

“The Mute” by Radical Face

“Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” by Cage the Elephant

“Run Boy Run” by Woodkid

“The Kids Aren’t Alright” by Fall Out Boy

“Emperor’s New Clothes” by Panic! at the Disco

BACKGROUND

Sam was born and raised in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He had a small family -- just him, and his parents. His father was a police officer, and his mother was a housewife.

Sam never got along with his father. Never. He can’t remember a single time that he didn’t entirely despise the man.

Joseph Marx was a corrupt cop, as well as an abusive husband and father. The Marx household was frequently filled with the sounds of slamming doors, screamed profanity, and glass breaking. While he frequently took his anger out on his wife, Sam quickly became Joseph’s favorite target.

Sam was also a favored target of other kids. An incident during which two older boys held him under the water instilled an unshakable case of hydrophobia in him, and he was often beat up when teachers weren’t around. Many said he brought it on himself -- what did he expect, when he was so obviously queer, dressed in such ratty clothes, acted so strangely?

Unsurprisingly, he developed delinquent behavior early on, and was frequently in trouble for cheating on tests, stealing other students’ possessions, skipping class, smoking, drinking, and stealing cars for joyrides.

Bullied at school and abused at home, Sam had few friends, and spent as much time as possible out of the house. He’d wander the swamps and streets alone, only occasionally having a companion with him.

Finally, when he was sixteen, Sam hit a breaking point. A terrible fight with his father led to Sam being thrown into the kitchen window. The glass shattered, cutting into Sam’s skin. His mother tried to help him get cleaned up, but Sam had had enough. That very night, he packed a small bag and snuck out the back door. He stole a truck from one of his neighbors, and hit the road, never to return to Baton Rouge.

Lacking any sort of plan, Sam wandered from town to town, making money via odd jobs, shoplifting, pickpocketing, purse-snatching, and selling dime bags of weed. He had his fair share of scrapes with the law -- even spending six months in a correctional facility when he was eighteen -- but always managed to worm his way out any long-term consequences. 

While in jail, Sam finally wrote to his mother -- now that he was eighteen, he couldn’t be forced to return to his family’s home, so he could assure her that he was alive. While he kept in contact with his mother from then on, Sam never spoke to his father again, and refused to ever return to Baton Rouge, even after his father was shot and killed in the line of duty.

ARRIVAL IN HOLLOWAY

Sam got to Holloway at the age of twenty. He only intended to stay for a couple weeks, long enough to make enough money to make a cross-country trip. The girl he was dating at the time went to school in Maine, and he wanted to go visit her.

When the first Hollow Man murder happened, a couple weeks after Sam’s arrival, he was nervous. When it became evident that there was a serial killer in Holloway, he started thinking maybe he should just say “fuck the money” and skip town altogether. However, before he could, the police were asking to talk to him.

It had been discovered that a couple of the deceased had bought drugs off of Sam a few times. While they hadn’t thought much about Sam at first, this caused the cops to look closer at him. Upon further digging, the investigators found that Sam was a drifter who had dropped out of school and run away from home, had a history of behavior issues, an ever-growing rap sheet, a brief stint in jail to his name, a skittish and antisocial air about him, and an obvious hatred of cops.

Yeah. It did not look good.

Sam was interrogated many times. His story never changed. He did sell weed to two of the deceased. No, he didn’t hurt them. He never even interacted with them beyond the sales. He was asleep at the time of the murders. No, no one can confirm that, he was alone. No, he doesn’t have a hotel room, he’s been sleeping in his truck.

Despite a lack of solid evidence or a motive, Sam was still a prime suspect for the first few murders, and he was told not to leave town. Knowing it’d look much worse if he ran, Sam decided to get a job -- partially because he was stuck in Halloway for the foreseeable future, and partially because he knew he might have to hire a lawyer soon. He eventually persuaded the local auto shop to hire him as a mechanic. (Accused of murder or not, Sam is damn good with cars.)

No official charges were ever brought, and eventually, another murder took place while Sam had a clear alibi, having been drinking in a local bar in full view of at least a dozen people all night. He got busted for having a fake ID, but at least he wasn’t an official murder suspect anymore.

Key word being official. Some suspected that Sam had an accomplice, and that the whole thing was a set-up to clear his name. Despite rumors, whispers, stares, and even a few people accusing him of the crime to his face, he always maintained that he never hurt anybody.

After being cleared, Sam intended to get out of town as soon as he could. But then, the girlfriend in Maine he’d been planning to go see dumped him... via postcard. It was the cherry on top of what had been a shitty few weeks.

Sam decided to stay for a little while until he figured out where to go next. He was rather enjoying having a steady paycheck for once, and it wasn’t like he had a plan. “A little while” eventually turned to twenty years.

NOWADAYS

Sam has now lived in a half-double in town for many, many years. It’s small, but he makes it work.

While most have probably abandoned the idea that Sam killed anybody, he’s still not exactly Mr. Popular in town. He’s known to be a sarcastic, self-centered dick, who has no respect for authority. (Some things never change.)

He still works at the auto shop. The original owner’s son runs it now, but Sam is the longest-standing employee, as well as the best mechanic.

Sam still hates cops. If he could refuse service to them, he would.

He’s still selling weed on the side (his boss looks the other way -- so long as Sam doesn’t get busted while at work, he doesn’t really care), and can be bribed into purchasing alcohol for underage students. However, he refuses to get mixed up in anything harder than that.

He mostly keeps to himself, and isn’t known to be particularly violent. If someone else attacks him, he’ll defend himself, but he rarely throws the first punch.

He’s been in an even more melancholy mood than normal lately, because his mother died last month.

He honestly thought the Hollow Man business was behind him. But now that a new victim has been found, he can feel people looking at him sideways again.

And, no matter how much he says he doesn’t care what other people think... he doesn’t like it at all.

MISC.

Sam’s sexuality is not public knowledge. He’s not ashamed of it, but he also wants to avoid harassment, so he’s only ever openly dated women. The only people who know are men he’s been with in the past, and maybe, maybe a very close friend.

Despite his dislike of people, Sam is quite fond of animals, and even adopted a stray cat he found a couple years ago. He’s named him Hecate, and he is quite possibly the ugliest cat in existence -- he has one eye, crooked fangs, and scratches everything that isn’t Sam.

Sam suffers clinical depression, but is in denial about how serious it actually is. It’s driven him to make some pretty damaging decisions, and he’s had a habit of burning himself with cigarettes since high school. The scars are all over his shoulders, arms, and stomach. 

Sam was -- and still is -- a frequent target of classism. Due to his lack of education and working-class background, many assume the worst in him, and many underestimate his intelligence. While he uses it to his advantage, he is irked by it.

It surprises people to learn that Sam is actually very well-read, and a talented actor. In another life, he could’ve joined a Shakespeare company. In this one, he reads passages aloud to himself when he’s alone.

Sam claims to hate... well, everyone, but he holds a special contempt for bullies and abusers. One of the only times Sam’s been known to instigate a fight is when he got sick of listening to a drunk guy catcall a woman walking by, and just decked him.

Sam still hates water, and refuses to go swimming -- on the rare occasions he has to go near the water, he won’t put his head under.

Sam has a pitch-black sense of humor. The Hollow Man murders are one of the few things he won’t joke about.

SUGGESTED CONNECTIONS

Someone who still believes Sam was or is the Hollow Man.

Related to the above, some of the younger characters have probably been told by their parents to stay away from Sam. Whether or not they listened is up to you.

Friend with benefits.

Exes.

Someone who has become aware of Sam’s depression and is trying to help him -- whether he likes it or not.

Unrequited crush (from either party).

And anything else you can think of!

[galaxyblake]

your top 5 fav characters from the 100 and the reasons why you love them

Okay, so this has been in my inbox for awhile now because my response will be kind of long and so my answer is below the cut :) 

1. Bellamy Blake (shocker)

I’m not going to go into many direct examples because we would be here all day but even for general reasons, my reasoning will be LONG . Also note that I wrote the Bellamy one when I first got the ask and I didnt realize how long it was compared to the others but Im trying to post this before work so sjfkdjf oops 

Bellamy has always been in my top 5 easily, and one of the only times he wasn’t  #1 was at the beginning of the first season because you all know that I really loved my son Wells Jaha who deserved better, but even when Bellamy’s character was “supposed” to be a jerk, he intrigued me more than a lot of the other characters.

Now, I personally don’t usually like the “asshole” characters because a lot of writers have given them stupid motives and have made them one dimensional when they have a lot of potential, but I could tell that the writers of The 100 knew what they were doing and showed quickly that he broke the mold. At the start we see that Bellamy’s love for Octavia is a huge plot point for him, it drove a lot of his motives and made me see why he did certain things because I have younger siblings and I know that I would’ve done anything to protect them if given the chance.

In 1x06, My Sister’s keeper, we dive deeper into the idea of having a sibling on the ark and we find that he had to give up everything, he had to give up his entire life for Octavia and he never even seemed to question it.Because of his responsibility to his family he likely coudln’t focus when it came to school/a social life, he couldn’t help his mother who had to give up even more than he did, he couldn’t have a proper childhood because he was basically a brother and a father at the same time, he couldn’t ever stay out with friends, he couldn’t bring anyone over, he couldn’t eat all of what little food and water he was allowed, he coudln’t fully help his sister who was forced to grow up as secret, he couldn’t relax for even a second because he knew that at any moment he could lose everything. When he was a 7-year-old boy he was told that it was his sister and his responsibility and he had no choice whatsoever and he accepted it and did everything he could for his mother and his sister, even if it meant suffering himself.

Now, for the more general reasons, we see quickly that he is charismatic and caring and brave and compassionate and selfless (to a fault at times). We see how he breaks nearly all of the stereotypes that we are accustomed to seeing on screen nowadays, not only male stereotypes but stereotypes of men of color and in Bellamy’s case, stereotypes of Asian/Filipino men. His character is one of the most alpha like characters on TV and yet we see him when he’s vulnerable around Clarke and some others, we see him cry like a normal human without really trying to hide it but it’s not portrayed in a way that makes him seem weak, it’s just his emotions and the fact that we even see him express emotion is huge for his character. Another main thing is that aside from all the good, he has his flaws. He is impulsive, overbearing at times, reckless when it comes to the people that he loves, he doesn’t have a strong sense of self-preservation, he can be too serious and this makes him one of the most complex characters ever and the way that Bob plays him is just incredible. When I look at his scenes, whether they are emotional or not, I am blown away because just in 1 second I can feel more emotion than some characters make me feel in an entire season. Bob loves and understands Bellamy more than anyone ever will and with every emotion that crosses his face, it becomes more and more apparent that his character is iconic.

2. Raven Reyes

I really could gush about Raven for YEARS. When we first met her character I honestly heard “boss ass bitch” playing in the back of my mind. For starters, she is brave and smart and badass and strong and caring and determined and driven.

 She is a huge part of every storyline and she always manages to pull through whatever it is that she’s/the others are dealing with. The first time I really realized that she was one of my absolute favorites was in 1X10, “I have become death.” She didn’t hesitate to do what needed to be done to save everyone, she was willing to die for people that she hardly knew because it was what had to be done. Raven was on the ground for 2 weeks less than the others and by the time she got down it was a lot of all work and no play but she didn’t ever question it. In that episode she knew that work had to be done and so she went to that bridge, even after she knew that she was sick, she persisted and was ready to die if it meant giving her people a fighting chance.

Even after 1x10 we see that she has suffered so damn much in her 19 years and a lot of the time she is suffering from what others have done to her but regardless, she continues to fight for those who have caused her pain because that’s who she is.

From being shot and nearly paralyzed, to being drilled for her marrow, to losing Finn, Gina, and Sinclair, to being strung up for a crime that she didn’t commit, to suffering through seizures that could kill her because she knew that the information from Becca could help them. Even after all she had given up, she rarely gave in to her pain or fear and the only time she did was with the chip and even then she showed just how much stronger she was.

Raven is wicked smart, finding a solution before someone even realizes that there is a problem, always having that last minute idea that saves the day. Hell, this girl KILLED HERSELF AND BROUGHT HERSELF BACK TO LIFE. She chooses life because she fights for it. Lindsey is incredible and we all know just how much she loves and respects Raven. The way Lindsey shows how Raven struggles internally with her pain is amazing and it makes us feel for her because we often forget that, though Raven is strong as all hell, she is suffering every day.

3. Clarke Griffin

I love my baby space bi and I will fight every person who comes @ her, just saying. Clarke is a character that very much suffers from “main character syndrome” where people see more of her and so she isn’t necessarily the #1 fan favorite, it happens in a lot of shows and I really don’t know the reason behind it but I know that it still happens. 

I love Clarke because though, I do like other characters more, I still see that she is one of the most realistic young adult characters ever. She makes mistakes and she gets angry and holds grudges and is selfish every once and awhile and though it can be frustrating it is true to her character because she is just a kid. Even though she is a kid she is resourceful, caring, cunning, direct, ambitious, strategic, conflicted, thoughtful and brave. Hell, her first day on the ground consisted of her fighting for these strangers who thought of her as nothing more than a privileged white girl. Then what did she do when Jasper was nearly killed for doing nothing? She demanded that they go back to him even when others were downright terrified but she went because she knew it was the right thing to do and knew that she would do what it took for them to survive even if she had no on to help her. 

At times Clarke can be a little too hell-bent on surviving and she forgets that they need to live. Unlike Bellamy, she uses her head more than her heart and can often come across as callous, but she still does what needs to be done even if it means being hated by the people that she loves because she would rather have them alive and hating her than loving her and dead. 

She is so emotionally strong, she has lost her father becasue of her mother, her best friend was murdered after they finally reconciled, she was forced to kill the first love of her life and then she had to watch another love die in her arms after their first time. Time and time again she moves on from what she goes through and pushes past her emotions because she needs to lead and then even when she’s pushing those emotions down we see them come back up around characters who allow her to be vulnerable and we get to see that she is not the commander of death or whatever, she is a kid with too much responsibility. 

4. Monty Green

The sweetest, most down to earth cinnamon roll to ever exist. Anytime I see him on screen I know that I’m gonna get some knowledged dropped down on me. Monty is so wise and understanding that I really don’t understand how it took some people so long to realize that he is the best. Like? Wtf? Love my son. 

Anywho, Monty is one of the kindest characters on this show. He is always looking out for his friends and always making sure that others are okay. He loves each and every one of them and is always shown to be looking out for them when Bellamy and Clarke (AKA the parents) can’t. In Mt. Weather he went looking for Harper and Clarke, he risked his life to find them. he demanded that they use him for marrow instead of Harper, he stayed by Jaspers side through his entire procedure with Maya, he talked with Miller about random things when they thought they were going to die just so he could cheer him up, he brought Harper tea, and then, even after all he had to do to save his people he still kept himself together for the sake of others. When we see him break and say that he is not fine it broke my heart becasue he is one of the most put together characters that we have and we he breaks we all break a little bit. 

There are grander gestures that he has done to ensure the survival of the people that he loves, the main one being that he knew that he couldn’t let his mother kill Octavia and so he took his gun and shot her. He killed his last family member to protect someone who didn’t even consider herself one of his people. Then he was forced to delete her code and basically had to go through the trauma of killing her all over again. Monty is supposed to be 15 turning 16 and he has to suffer through all this, while also being the glue that holds the delinquents together? How he does it and still manages to be optimistic and kind I will never know. 

5. The rest of the delinquents and Lincoln and Luna and Gaia and Niylah and Lxa You can’t make me pick one last one. I cannot do it. 

[jaws330]

Fatalis but with actual edits this time

Allot easier to read and with real grammar. cheers Sonya for the help. im not a writer by nature so it helps when people with actual talent help out.

________________________________________________________________

Four men sit apart from each other in the hull of a ship. Wood creaks as the ship pushes through another swell. The men haven’t spoken much to each other since preparing for the trip 2 mornings ago. Jackson scans the room, checking on his team members. Marlow and Ike hadn’t moved in hours, and Hans was still focusing on his meditation. The group’s Palico, Thellow, had brought down fish from the upper decks and encouraged everyone to eat, but no one seemed interested. The journey was worse than many of the hunts the men had been on.

Jackson and Ike had been hunting wyverns and dragons all over the continent for the last 10 years. Marlow was new. That isn’t to say he was without skill. Jackson and Ike had seen the kid rip a diablos tail clean off with 5 good slice shots that Ike had bet strongly he wouldn’t be able to make. Marlow had a keen eye, but he didn’t have the same willpower the others did. Jackson was worried he wouldn’t be up to par for this hunt.

He didn’t have the greatest tact when talking to others, so after a while of contemplation he moves over to Ike and sits next to him on the floor. The floor creaks more as Jackson’s weight sinks upon it. The damp wood smell doesn’t help to lift the mood either, not that any of them seem to notice. The simple act of moving towards the prey they had been asked to hunt was harder than any of them expected.

Jackson leans his head over to Ike and whispers, “Could you check on Marlow? I don’t think he’s doing well.”

Ike looks back at Jackson. His eyes are red, and the skin under them sags. He must have been sobbing, though Jackson hadn’t noticed. Ike gulps, taking a deep breath. He looks like he’s about to say something but can’t find the words. He exhales in despair. The two look to Marlow, who has lifted his head at the new activity. Marlow stares back at his two seniors, and within a few moments he breaks down and cries. Ike rubs his eyes and starts to compose himself. Standing up, he walks to Marlow and places his arm around his shoulders, comforting him as best he can.

Hans hasn’t said anything, or even noticed the energy in the room change. He had been meditating for the last day. The Wyverians had it easy. They could focus their minds and remain steeled even in the worst situations. The rest of the men were only human and could not help but dread the impossible task they had been given.

The monster they had been sent to kill was growing more and more confident in its prowess. Everyday it seemed like its area of influence was growing. More towns burnt to the ground. More bodies are incinerated while running for their lives. And more hunters burnt, killed, or mutilated beyond recognition. The impression of glory from the hunt had faded from most hunters�� minds. All that was left was the depression of knowing that those who face this creature have forfeited their lives.

Jackson was nervous, but had expected a fight like this to come at some point in his career. Ike too, but with less acceptance than Jackson. Marlow had only been an official hunter for 2 years. He showed lots of potential but still had a lot to live for.

Despite showing strong will in the face of an impossible task, there was still something burning in the back of Jackson’s mind. He’d had a song stuck in his head for the last few days since news of the hunt came in. He was surprised by the persistence of his own brain to keep the song running at every waking moment. It was not even a good song. It was only ever sung by kids playing games, and Jackson couldn’t remember the last time he had even heard it sung out loud. But in stressful situations the mind can fixate on things. Even things you might not want it to.

_______________________________________________________________

A few hours later the boat comes up to port.

“Finally,” says Ike.

He is the first and by far the most eager to get off the boat. Jackson thought that getting on with things is probably the best move for everyone. Waiting just let the mind stew and overall wasn’t going to help the hunt at all. Hans jumps to shore first and ties down the boat. The others prepare their gear and pass it over one by one. The metal boxes of explosives, ammo, and blades were an awkward shape, and heavy for most. Ike jumps on shore as well to help Hans with carrying everything, while Jackson and Marlow pass the boxes across. They take extra care not to slip on the wet stone of the port. It had been sleeting here for some time and most of the stone and wood was covered in moss. Losing a weapon box here would be not only embarrassing, but tragic. Even losing one weapon would put a huge burden on the rest of the hunt and create even more risks which none of the men wanted to take.

Once the supplies were on shore, they set about looking for a place to stay the night. The clouds around Schrade were always thick and dark ever since the beast moved in. The port town at the base of the mountain where they had just landed was a hollow shell of what it used to be. The town’s name had been burned away with its people. Now all that was left was a few streets of wooden shacks, either black from ash and fire or bleached white from the sea and time. The streets were an eroded cobble path of wet granite. Grass and small plants were pushing past the stone to reach what little sunlight they could. The group venture into town, already knowing the location of the one building that would give them some refuge for the night.

At the end of the main street there is a well-built stone and oak building used by the town's fire brigade. Suitably, it was the only building that was not totally destroyed by fire. The hunter’s guild had already scouted out the area to make the journey a little easier, and after the two nights of sailing the old abandoned building seems like a luxury hotel. The metal door swings open easily and inside there are a few old sleeping mats, a pile of firewood, and a pile of paper scraps. The group pauses after seeing the rather basic and dismal interior. Marlow let out a disappointed exhale. He had been looking forward to a real bed. Hans enters first and moves to the right-hand side of the building. He drops his bag and swings around, clapping his hands together.

“All right boys, who’s getting the fire started?”

Thellow crawls in between the hunter’s legs and runs for a pile of old drapes. Rain was not a Palicos friend and scraps of cloth were a nice reprieve. Marlow, Ike, and Jackson let out the first smile in days. They needed someone like Hans to take the reins for a bit.

After about an hour, Marlow got the fire burning. Thellow had set up a camping grill and was preparing some fish for the group. Hans was thumbing through the scraps of paper while Ike was writing on one.

"Would you like to write one too, Jackson?” Hans called out from across the fire.

Jackson was going through the metal boxes they had brought, checking everything was where it was meant to be. Some hunters hated how neurotic he got when preparing. However, his policy of triple checking before a hunt meant that no one hunting with Jackson had ever worried about running out of medicine or drugs during the expedition. He had checked the weapons and med packs 12 times since packing.

Hans called out again. “ Jackson, are you going to add your own letter or not?”

Finally out of his packing trance, Jackson perkshis head up and quickly replies: “Yes, yes, of course I’ll write something. Let me just finish and I’ll come over”.

Hans rolls his eyes while Ike snickers. They are both a bit sick of this behavior.

Ike stands up and says: “I think this will do. If anything happens then at least people will know how cool I was.”

Hans addsIkes paper to the stack. For a hunt of this caliber it was tradition for hunters to leave a note at base camp. Each hunter would write a bit about themselves and why they were going after the monster they were. The notes would pile up at base camp until someone slayed the monster. Only the winning person or team could take the papers home with them. A symbolic way of carrying the efforts of other hunters with them. Even if hunters did not lose their lives, it was still a way of showing respect to others in the field. After another 3 minutes Jackson walks over and takes the pen from Ike. He doesn’t want to write anything too sentimental or emotional, but considering the monster they were going to be fighting he tried his best.

Thellow was just about done with the first part of dinner. Grilled fish with lemon and mashed potato. It was basic, but filling. Marlow and Ike take the first servings. Hans would eat a small amount after everyone was done. He wasn’t the one hunting. Hans was a Recorder and Handler for the hunt. It was his job to get the hunters safely to the monster and gather what information he could during the fight.

Jackson puts his pen down, satisfied with the drivel about the honor of such a hunt. The song rattling in his head didn’t help. He writes and scratches out a few parts, and the whole thing looked a bit fake. He moves to get the next serving of dinner while Hans starts reading Jackson’s note.

While Jackson fills his mouth with potato mash, Hans snaps at him. “Is this really what you want to leave? You’re not doing any of these other notes a service by mixing your crap in with them.”

He gestures to the pile of 50 or so papers piled on a supply crate. Ike and Marlow both look at Jackson, assuming he had written something dumb about it being bullshit that they even need to do this.

Jackson finishes his bite and swallows. “I did really try, but I couldn’t find it, ya know? It’s kinda hard to think about good things for a hunt that we are being forced into.”

Ike and Marlow look back to Hans, expecting a well formed argument, but are surprised when he nods in agreement. “I know it's not the best situation, but every day more and more towns are destroyed. The guild can’t get hunters up here on short notice like this.”

Marlow cut in. “If we don’t kill it now then the next closest town is Minegarde. Hans is right, we should knock on its front door rather than let it come knock on ours.”

The port town of Minegarde was usually safe and had a high quantity of hunters ready to take on whatever challenged them. But stories of an elder dragon, Darhen Mohran, had drawn most of the town’s skill away to the east.

Ike lets out a laugh and says: “Bet you don’t think the Mohran hunt is overrated now, Jackson.”

Jackson laughs as well, and sheepishly replies. “Yeah, I kinda wish I had gone with the rest. Probably would have been a livelier trip.”

Marlow offers a small smile, and Hans chuckles.

Jackson looks back to Hans. “Would you like to write it for me then? You seem to be better with words than me.”

Hans shakes his head. “No, this will be fine. I’ll make sure anyone who comes here will know of the great Jackson who thought he had better things to do than hunt an elder dragon.”

It was the first time the 4 men had laughed together in days. The joy a simple meal and good conversation can bring to people’s hearts is astounding.

The dinner bolsters the spirit of the party far more than expected, and when armor and skill are stripped away, spirit is all that’s left. An hour later the group settles in for the night. They all try to get a good night’s sleep before tomorrow’s hunt. Jackson still struggles to sleep, the song running in his head like a ticking clock. He starts wondering if maybe the song was written by the monster itself, to drive hunters mad before they even fight it.

Eventually, he dozed off.

_______________________________________________________________

Morning came, but day did not.

The sky is still dark, and only a few rays of sun pierce the black clouds that loom over Schrade. They are unnatural. They weren’t from a volcano or storm, but they linger around the mountain where castle Schrade once stood. The castle had been destroyed hundreds of years ago. The town was a settlement that tried to take advantage of the castle’s well-built infrastructure. They had planned to turn castle Schrade into a hunting hub for the mountain ranges above Minegarde. It would have made a great port town between the western coast and northern town of Pokke. It would have, if it wasn’t for the last living resident of castle Schrade.

The group spends the early morning getting ready. Hans helps the men get their heavy armor on, while Thellow sorts the packs to make sure everyone has the correct equipment at the ready. Jackson gets his armor on first, a nice well-made set from a Brachidios. He had a reputation at the guild for his humorous encounter with it, so he figured it was a good choice of armor to wear for a hunt like this. The Brachadios’ obsidian hide was naturally fire resistant, and considering his role at the front line, it fit both thematically and practically. He cleans his gun lance one last time while Ike and Marlow are getting ready.

Ike is a jack of all trades, and enjoys hunting with whatever he finds most suitable for each hunt. For this particular hunt, he chooses the matte red Rathalos armor and a greatsword. He figures that to kill a big monster he would need a big sword.

Marlow was to provide cover fire and support from behind with his bow gun. He doesn’t usually bring more than a few kinds of ammunition. He likes to keep it simple. As long as he can shoot the monster down then it will be fine. For this hunt, he makes sure to bring a wide variety of ammunition. Poison, electrical, and a few sticky bomb shots.

Each of the hunters have prepared an appropriate kit for a fight of this caliber.

Finally, the crew is ready to depart. Hans would be climbing the neighboring mountain to observe and record the encounter. From there he will be able to tell if the crew is successful, and if anyone or anything survives the fight.

Hans grabs Jackson’s hand and looks straight into his eyes. "Don’t let this beast be your end, Jackson. I will see all of you when you return. Legends of the guild.”

The three wave goodbye as Hans starts his own journey. Jackson feels hollow, as he watches the only natural leader among them walk away. Now it's his turn to lead. The group doesn’t waste any time, and sets out climbing the mountain to castle Schrade.

The sides of the mountain area trial in and of themselves. They have narrow walkways, coated in damp mud with a sheer drop on one side. For a gun lance user like Jackson this was a bit of a joke. He has Ike and Marlow go before him for the first part of the climb, and even tiesa rope around his waist just in case the weight of the cannon mounted on his back becomes too much. Eventually the path comes to an end at a plateau. The area is larger than expected at this height. The group could easily fight the beast here if it were not for the rusted graveyard of old weapons.

Before them was 20 or so old worn out Dragonators. A metal spear several meters in length, designed to drill straight into the hide of even the toughest monster. They were a devastating defense the guild had been employing since its early years and they were a staple of elder dragon defense operations. This pile must be hundreds of years old. It’s hard to tell if the previous occupants of castle Schrade used this as a nearby dump or if they had been hauled to the castle and simply forgotten. Regardless, the team climb over with care, making sure not to slip and fall onto one of the vicious spikes.

The real climb was just beginning. A sheer cliff with only a few outcrops for about 100 meters. Jackson and Ike tie their equipment to a rope and would hoist it up after they had made it to the top. They aren’t the best mountain climbers, but they make do. At about halfway up Jackson pulls his head up into a cave that can easily fit the party.

He calls out to the crew. “We should take a rest here.”

After entering the cave the group line up and, together, pull the weapons and Thellow up the cliff into the small cave. The Palico makes sure the knots stay firm and the weapons don't rock too much while ascending.

Ike makes a snide remark while huffing and pulling on the rope. “Jeez, Thellow, how much fish did you eat last night?”

The Palico meows loudly from outside the cave as the group pulls the equipment inside.

They all fall to the ground and pass around a water bottle. While Marlow and Ike have a drink, Jackson investigates the back of the cave. Finally he’s able to spend more time examining it. It isn’t very big, but at the back is a pile of ash and rusted metal. He walks over to inspect it. Reaching out to wipe the ash away, the whole thing crumbles and explodes into a black cloud. He wipes the black soot from his visor and has the chance to see what remains. It is an empty suit of old armor. It only takes a second for Jackson to realize what the ash filling the armor used to be. He loses focus for a moment. The song is louder than ever. He can even hear  the voices of the children singing it now. His heart is pounding, feeling like it’sbanging on the metal armor around his chest.

“What was that?” Ike asks from behind.

It snaps Jackson from his trance, and he swivels around. “Nothing, just some old scrap”.

Jackson has some water and the group continues up the mountain. Another 40 or so meters and Jackson finally places his hand on the stone base of what once was castle Schrade.

_______________________________________________________________

 Pulling himself up, Jackson pauses for a brief moment to take in the fortress. The enormity of the structure staggers him for a moment. The wind blows softly but carries the scent of decay. Distant metal structures can be heard creaking and clunking as time passes them by.

Jackson, realising he still has friends climbing the cliff, turns to assist them up onto the final ledge. Without hesitation, Ike and Jackson begin pulling up the weapons once again. Upon reaching the top, both Ike and Jackson quickly grab their tools. Being unarmed for that long has made them both a little jumpy. Marlow has already started surveying the area. He needs good vantage points and places to move to while gunning. In front of them is a large courtyard made of stone bricks. On the upper side isa castle wall connecting to a stone watchtower. Spears and swords lay around it, as if the men they belonged to simply evaporated. It was giving all of them chills.

Behind that is more of the castle. The entire building is massive and expanded over 2 mountains,crossing the range in between. This is only the entrance. It is by far the best place to fight something big. The rest of the castle is too jagged, with corridors that will restrict movement to much. The team knows that the monster will almost certainly take advantage of that and blow them to pieces before they even know it’s attacking. Out in the open is the best they can hope for.

Marlow has already started moving to the side wall to get some height. It is a great place to have a gunner, and gives a brilliant view of the area. There are a few pieces of old ammunition around. Not much, but some ballista and cannon balls might help if given the opportunity. The castle wall still has one intact Dragonator in it, unfired. Jackson has already set to work getting a plan ready, using what little they have in  the castle.

It is only morning, but the sky is still dark. Not much light can get through the clouds, even this high up. It still feels like night is around them.

Ike moves over to one of the cannons and starts checking the fuses while loading a ball in. Jackson starts walking to the eastern side to check if the last cannon has a working fuse. He stops, frozen in place. The creature appears out of blackness. As if the clouds that swirl around this mountain are the monster itself. A beam of light shines across it, revealing the full size of the dragon.

It is a lot bigger than anyone expected. Standing on his back legs, it stands easily over the entire watchtower, over 40 meters tall. Its tail is an enormous black whip that stretches the whole length of the beast and more. Its legs are short, but its claws are long, crusted with blood from those who had come before. The spines along its back look like bladed gravestones. Its scales are a hideous black and blue, as if all of its skin isone giant bruise. The wings on its back stretch into the air, welcoming the hunters to its roost. Its neck is long, which gives it incredible height. At the top is a head full of more teeth than its mouth can hold. Two sets of two horns each side of its head that twist away from its skull. And its eyes. Its awful eyes. They have black slits like a snake, but a furious red iris that looks like a fire storm inside its head.

It hasn’t even made a sound. Jackson isn’t even sure it is real yet. He doesn’t know if Ike or Marlow are even still here. The world pauses for a second. The dragon’s tongue slithers out of its mouth and licks its lips. It stares down at its new guests. Jackson has fought a lot of monsters, and after fighting enough he can tell why a monster fought by the way it looked. Some are hungry. Others are scared. But this is something new. Never has Jackson seen a monster smile back at its combatant. This unholy creature of night doesn’t care for food or to defend its home, it just wants to kill. It is genocidal to the core and wants nothing more than for hunters to die. The dragon is going to enjoy this.

Jackson yells out to whoever might still be behind him. “Time to show it what we're made of!”

He flicksthe main barrel of his gun lance down and takes out his shield. Turning the safety off with a click, he rotates a few shells through the main gun. The dragon lets out a bellowing cry that changes from a roar to a shriek. This close, it feels as if his ears are going to bleed just from standing near it. His heart slows down, and a smile creeps into the corner of his mouth. Both the song and his fear leave his mind. Without his fear he feels confident, nothing holding him back from his fate.

The song’s lyrics make sense now.

The Legend of the Black Dragon

When the world is full of wyverns, the legend is revived

meat is eaten, bone is crunched

and blood is sucked up dry

he burns the earth and melts through iron

he boils the rivers and mows down trees

he awakens the winds and lights the inferno

he is called Fatalis, the wyvern of destiny

he is called Fatalis, the wyvern of destruction

call for help, run for your lives

and don’t forget to pray to the skies

he is called Fatalis, the wyvern of destiny

he is called Fatalis, the wyvern of destruction

Fatalis, Fatalis

Heaven and Earth are yours

Fatalis, Fatalis

Heaven and earth are yours

[valorousowl]

So I'd said I'd complain here. Because I want to. But I also don't want to. Under the cut because sensitive shit.

My father died two weeks ago on Sunday. I've made about 3 posts about that. Last week we had some funerary services. Mom is having a month long wake for people to pay their respects to his ashes which will be mixed with hers following her death and then buried together, likely in the Military Cemetary in Pennsylvania where her brother is also buried.

I performed some of the services, reading

Psalms over his remains from his Lutheran service book at my mother's request. I also said prayers over his remains a few times and blessed a cross she's received as a bereavement gift.

Other than that we just spent a whole lot of time together, not enough, and talked a whole lot.

This is thw second funeral I've been at in 6 months. In may my Uncle Jack died and if home down briefly for that. An aunt had died cut In that time, Ngoc, but I wasn't close so I ended up not going/not invite to her funeral.

My sisters at that time, had been quite angry that id gone to his among other things, despite the fact he'd been like a second father to me and always looked out for me during high school.

To make things simple I'm gonna bullet what they did last time under their names.

Page

Bitched a lot about me choosing a nonblood relative over a blood relative

Had a whole homophobic* rant about it not being fair the family accepts my wife but not her girlfriendbeating, childabusing, alcoholic, lazy, boyfriend.

Ended up leaving me until way after the funeral ended because she was pissed at me. My other sister had to get us and take us to the after part.

Not great but not bad comparitively.

Hillary

Ended up showing up late to pick us up from the pick up location in Ithaca. I literally can't give her my address it's that bad.

I had to drive us down. She'd programmed her gps, two of them, to give conflicting turns so the other was no help when I got lost after Harrisburg.

Wanted to sleep at a rest stop parking lot only halfway through, this is the DAY OF the funeral.

Literally started screaming at me for getting lost and said "I drive like a man"

Told me she'd kill me for transitioning when I joked that I can't drive like a man when it's so expensive to transition**.

Repeated it, making sure I looked her in the eyes, in front of a witness, that she will kill*** me if I ever transition.

Tried to drop in unannounced at 6 am at the mother of the dead aunt to pay condolences. Even if I'd been invited that'd be supremely rude.

Immediately went to sleep when we arrived about an hour or two BEFORE the funeral.

Continued to hang all over me and call me ungrateful for not visiting for almost 4 years before this.

That was last time.

This time she did something worse, and what makes it even worse was the fact that it was our FATHER.

I know it shouldnt matter because family is family but she was there when he died and had tried to get ahold of me at work before it was too late. All of this made me think she was at least acting like a decent human being. I was wrong. I know people process grief differently and I'm no different, im still fluctuating between denial and anger and even mom is pushing it far from her mind so she doesn't have to face the reality of it. But there's certain things that are unforgivable.

Page in comparison was really kind, so anything she did out of frustration I'm skipping this time because she made an effort to be civil.

Hillary

Lent us her bedroom which was nice, except she was in there all the time. Like not to get stuff she needed she was just hanging out in there all the time. And I know you're thinking "It's her room, stop being an asshole!" Except it brings me to point two. She'd especially do it after picking fights, so that literally we didn't have anywhere to get away from her. She'd do this when I lived there too, except she'd do it in MY room, which had literally no way of locking her out as we shared one connecting door that only locked in her side. She does this for attention so she cannot be ignored.

We went out to her work, where she introduced me to Everyone as her daughter. There's about three problems there alone, but I had to be polite to her co-workers. She did so so she could basically just mooch off the free samples. Which they all commented on, pointedly.

Afterward she had me drive just to start an argument about politics, literally took me down several new roads I didn't know, and got mad when I wouldn't make the turns instinctively and made me make what were basically illegal turns. She made up for this by buying my therapy cat some things at Wal-Mart including a fidget spinner****. Then stayed in our room for three more hours.

The next morning she acted like nothing had changed and said we were going out to eat. We went to The Green Dragon which is a fancier Asian buffet with a variety of dishes. It was nice. Until she started discussing politics LOUDLY. It wasn't that kind of restaurant, it was mostly older people, like 80% 60-80 year olds on the early bird special, not somewhere you want to talk politics in rural Amish country Pennsylvania.

I told her three times, we aren't talking about that here and now.

She insisted she was talking to "My friend*****"

I told her neither of us wanted to talk to her about it so she dropped it for a while.

It wasn't long before she was back on her bullshit. She went on about infowars or some shit. (She doesn't like him, per se, but she's a "conservative in a gay hat" type) and how it was hilarious to see him get ripped apart over "Michael obama"

I tell her it's pronounced Michelle. She replied "no it's not! He's really a man, haven't you seen?" And extrapolated from there. I told her she can't call women she doesnt like men just because she doesn't like them or isn't attracted to them. (She does this)

At this point, she continues on about how Michelle is "a transgender or whatever", not really a woman, had a penis, and even without my biases, she still is SHOUTING THIS IN A PACKED RESTAURANT FULL OF OLD PEOPLE IN RED PA

I tell her to back off because she doesn't know anything about trans people and maybe she should just not talk about it because I'm not going to talk to her about it. To which of course she replies that she knows so much better because she knows lots of """"""real trans people"""""

She goes on about how they're disgusting, they smell bad, they're bad people, she outed her friend who I didn't know was trans and said that she (She managed proper pronouns for her at first then reverted to calling her a man) forced her to support her even though she was *insert insults* and even went so far as to call them... rather us, mentally ill freaks.****** She insists we wouldn't have high suicide rates of we didn't "pretend to be the other gender and accept what we really are!"

I'm done. I've had enough. I just get up and say "I'm going to the bathroom" and I literally walk away and lock myself in the family bathroom. While I'm gone she asks what my problem is and my wife tells her off, basically that she doesn't get to decide anyone else's journey for them, it costs 0.00 USD to respect people's identies and not be a fuck. To which Hillary says "don't tell me she's one too" which I'm not annoting because I've already made two notes on this. Rowan tells her "It's not my story to tell,"

"That tells me all I need to know." (Yeah no shit Sherlock you were told outright)

Rowan says she's gonna check on me, so Hiillary tells her "well, tell her her mother's dead. She doesn't have one anymore."#

##

So I'm having a breakdown in a public bathroom, on the phone with my mother, because she has humiliated me and outed me to a restaurant of strangers, and she still keeps us out with her for another hour past leaving the restaurant even when I said I wanted to go home.

She immediately tried to retract and say that first off, "[I] don't understand how hard it is and [I] don't understand the choice [I'm] making" I am not talking to her about this.

She insists she'll always support me. I want to go home.

Here's where she actually took I to Wal-Mart. Rowan has reminded me this is what the Wal-Mart trip was to make up for. On that note. She tried again to say she'd "always support me and I know it". I reminded her she told me last time she said she'd kill me over it. She denied it and I told her I still had logs to which she said "ugh, okay whatever!"

This all led to outing me to the REST of the family, which thank God they took better than her. They admitted they didn't understand and hoped I'd get lots of doctors who could help me transition safely with my health issues. Overall it was better than expected but I'm the second openly trans member of the family.

She continued to say that I hold grudges and I shouldn't be so sensitive among other things but that's really all I have the spoons for. This took three hours to write as is. So yeah, additional notes are below. This is why I will never live in PA again and never live near her again. All of this when we were supposed to be mourning our dead father.

*Its homophobic from perspective because I'm only out as a lesbian at this point.

**She is a (closet-bi) lesbian who has been told twice at this point that I'm trans. She's said I'm confused. I don't know what I am. She didn't give birth to a boy etc.

***This is about the third time in my life she's told me if it was up to her she'd have killed me. She said she wanted to abort me, she said if I'd been a boy (xy) she would have. She says if they wouldn't let her, she'd have smothered me coming out and as it stands as a "girl" (xx) she planned to orphan me if mom hadn't told her to being me home.

**** I don't even know. She insists cats love fidget spinners. Mine doesn't care.

***** I don't have to explain why this is fucked up. But I will. If you havent had this situation happen to you, regardless of sexuality and presentation, it means that person who is so important to you to be your significant other, does not measure up. Other than dehumanizing them it's just in general a shitty move. And when they dont even use your SOs name it's clear they're seen just as an accessory of you.

****** y'all remember I've already told her I'm trans? I have the Facebook logs from that convo still.

#I got sick of counting stars, so we're switching to hashes. I'm adopted. Hillary is my biological mother and we were both adopted by the same charitable lady. Her statement doesnt make a lick of sense, mother is at home. She constantly tries to insist she's my mother after all of the above and more I can't even go into here.

## If I knew all it's take was coming out as trans for hee to disown me, I would have much sooner. Soon than I did. She'll forget this in less than six months likely. Because I'm not important enough to expend memory on. I'm marginally okay with this.