#im fine. I'm okay. I'm NORMAL :)
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*through tears* HER LITTLE POG CHAMP
#anyway shout out to my big sis for getting me some offical arcane knock-off pogs. I realise the caption makes no sense without that context#and very little sense even with it probably. ANYWAY THAT ARC HUH#im fine. I'm okay. I'm NORMAL :)#Finished the episode and immediately started drawing this. Hope to render it a bit more#Arcane spoilers#Arcane#arcane season 2#arcane s2#arcane season 2 spoilers#jinx arcane#isha arcane#isha and jinx#AUAUAUAUUAGH familial tragedy gets me like no other#Fan art#Fanart#Jinx#Artists on tumblr#My art#Paint the town blue#The message hidden within the pattern#Spoilers
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So, if I'm to believe Twitter today Nightow apparently did mention Vash and potential love interests in an old interview and-
(please forgive the shitty google translation but ya get the gist of it)
So, what I am getting from this is:
canonically, Vash avoids falling in love with humans (and from what we can see in the manga, any sexual interaction too) because their lives are far too short and he wouldn't be able to 'share a full future' with them.
Okay, okay. Mr Stampede what did you mean by this then?
Everyday, Vashwood gets more canon in a way that hurts even more than the last and I can't stand it.
What do you mean Vash doesn't want to fall in love with people whose lives will inevitably end before his and he ends up falling for the one guy that was doomed from the start to die young.
Mr. Nightow we need to talk.
#trigun#trimax#Vashwood#Vash#Wolfwood#trigun maximum#Vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#That and this explains Vash confusion when Ww explain that#Anyone would pick up a gun to protect their loved ones#And then at the end Vash does#I'm okay man#This is fine#Im normal about this
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do you. do you think, in the nether, that mumbo was maybe so insistent on his deadly predicament being Grian's fault (despite it very obviously being his own, actually) because the last time they were together in the life series, his final death was Grian stabbing him through the chest?
are you also insane about the fact that in the end, mumbo's final death here, just like in last life, followed Timmy's death? that both of their final deaths were once again caused by Grian?
#im so normal about this (lie)#secret life spoilers#secret life#life series#slsmp#slsmp spoilers#secret life episode 6#secret life smp#secret life smp spoilers#life series spoilers#last life#llsmp#last life spoilers#llsmp spoilers#last life smp#last life smp spoilers#mumbo jumbo#grian#jimmy solidarity#I'm okay i'm fine im not insane at all
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thinking so long and hard about joyness once more…like yesss they are very cute and sweet and all but i think them getting together even after their History is sooo interesting. like, does joy first start hanging out around sadness and talking with her more often out of guilt? is it performative? when does it stop being performative?? and at what point does joy realize it’s stopped being performative? how does joy feel when every single interaction she has with sadness after the events of the first movie are just like…constant reminders of how she screwed up with her prior? liking someone who makes her feel that bad when she normally never lingers on what she's done wrong just seems so counterintuitive (fun fact: joy has literally never genuinely apologized for anything she's done, across both movies. she's acknowledged and fixed her mistakes before, sure, but she has never expressed guilt so straightforwardly like that. is she simply incapable of it? or has she just...never given importance to feeling guilty before so long as she can just Fix her mistake? just something very interesting i've noticed...)!!
like, joy’s canonically admitted that she’s literally tried to kick sadness out of headquarters before. that’s truly how little joy thought of her before she got to know her better…she totally would have been fine with just. never seeing her again. imagine disliking your coworker THAT much since the very first day you met her and now you have feelings for her…?! not a possibility joy ever would have considered, and i think joy would struggle a Lot with coming to terms with that initially. she is the Queen of cognitive dissonance. of being Delusional. it’s HARD to shake off old habits just like that!! joy is someone who very much doesn’t fully acknowledge how she feels until it gets so intense it bubbles up to the surface and breaks through her usual demeanor (we’ve seen that both with how she’s gotten sad and angry before…who’s to say romance would not be the same. i think she’d just keep denying it until she just. has an Ah Shit moment with sadness one day. probably over something completely mundane).
and it certainly doesn’t help that sadness is, well. Sadness! she clearly admires joy from the very beginning even when joy treated her so poorly (knowing her she probably thought she deserved it…sigh). she’d literally just assume absolutely nothing would come out of her feelings. and you know she probably might even romanticize and Enjoy it in a weird way…i mean think about it. she canonically likes sad romance novels…this is her own "tragic romance" (apparently. SUPPOSEDLY) so i think she’d kind of insistently cling to that. define their entire relationship as unrequited and reallyyy lean into it and warp anything that happens otherwise to fit her little Doomed Yuri vision. she's observant as hell for pretty much everything, normally, but she just has goddamn Horse Blinders on for just this one thing specifically.
she’s just completely unaware of how fundamentally she’s changed joy and shattered her entire worldview (meanwhile joy is just busy having a whole crisis about exactly that). and NOW she has to deal with actually being treated like she matters, both by joy and the other emotions?? helloooo? she’s definitely got a lot to process by this point because Her entire way of living has changed too now in an entirely different direction.
AND then you add to that how it's pretty clear that sadness knows joy pretty well, but joy still has a Lot to learn about sadness because she never gave her a chance before...very much a recipe for guilt and confusion and miscommunication and other such weird occurrences to arise.
BASICALLY tldr theyre both kind of idiots and i think their dynamic is a little more complicated than people give it credit for. joyness is a veryyy. She fell first (sadness) she fell harder (joy) type of dynamic. To Me.
#nebposting#IS ANY OF THIS COHERENT. PROBABLY NOT BUT THAT'S FINE.#adding this to the long list of thigns i wanna draw out eventually. chanting to myself IM NORMAL IM NORMAL IM NORMAL#SORRY TJEYRE JUST. SO INTERESTING....opposites attract trope sure but opposites also. KINDA fundamentally clash!!#ugh been obsessed with them for 9 years atp i feel crazy#.............#okay yknow what sure joyness tag could always use more posts LOL#joyness#joy x sadness#joy#sadness#<- those last two are for personal organizational purposes lol#side note i feel like i'm just. explaining my thought process for both of my fics so far pretty much HDJKHF.#i definitely had a lot of these thoughts floating around trying to write for them....
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Just saw an absolutely amazing post that convinced me that Ceroba would be the one who confesses first.
(op turned turned off reblogs unfortunately so I'm making this post (┬┬﹏┬┬)) ("Just put the link to the post here-" No, you absolute buffoon, they turned it off for a reason and I'm going to respect that) (also potential rambling?? again??) (future LM here, yep there is alot of rambling. this was supposed to be a character analysis but I accidentally made a fic halfway LMAOAOAOAOAOA )
god I'm a sucker for slow burn and angst (duh, you all know that) I used to think that Starlo wouldn't be able to take it anymore and finally get the balls to confess to her, he goes up to her and it'll be the usual cheesy but wholesome moment with him nervously laughing, Ceroba getting surprised so she turns away while brushing off some hair that got on her face, Starlo sheepishly rubbing the back of his head and stuttering to get the words out. It'll all be planned of course he's a gentleman, he's just so stupidly nice and understanding that if Ceroba just flat out tells him "I don't wanna be in a romantic relationship with you" I just know he's going to smile and tell her it's okay and he'd still be there for her and it won't affect their friendship at all and he's going to stay by her side de jashdkahsd sorry the brainworms are doing the thing again.
Of course the idea of Ceroba confessing first also came into my mind, her realizing she's in love with Starlo but now has to fight the guilt thinking that she's "betraying/cheating on Chujin" made the little angsty gremlin in me giggle but I just preferred it would be Starlo who breaks the ice just for shittles and giggles (I like seeing him get all blushy and shy HIHIHIHIH). Also adding the fact that Ceroba DID consider getting together with him but she brushes it off cuz she thinks he's still too immature. (Yes I am aware Ceroba acknowledges Starlo growing up in True Pacifist but I didn't give it that much thought I was in delulu land)
But then I saw the post and ho h my god oh my goddddddd.....
I was a fool
Starlo is aware of what Ceroba has gone through and as her childhood best friend he would respect her and not risk overwhelming her with a confession cuz OF COURSE HE WOULDNT, and if he DID consider confessing it would be YEARS after the whole "Clover-sacrificing-themselves-for-the-futue-of-monsterkind" ordeal but he would have probably fallen out of love at this point and it would go
⭐: "OH YEAH btw I had a crush on you when we were kids" 🦊: "HUH"
(not dismissing the chance he could still be in love with her despite that I mean he's dedicated and loyal and so damn devoted to her it makes sense, it was just had a funny thought giggles)
But then after reading the post, it reopened the idea of Ceroba confessing first and... oh my god it was glorious. It would start small, thinking he looked nice one day, subconsciously gazing at him and adoring him at the distance as he talks his usual nonsense at the saloon with the feisty 5, wanting to hang out with him a little more than usual, until it slowly builds up over time. She starts noticing the little things about him, his wide smile, the sound of his voice and the laughter he makes when he does his usual shenanigans with her in post-pacifist where things are starting to get brighter as they heal together, she would call him an idiot but god he would just smile at her again and the little dimples on the sides of his face would make her melt without knowing and she swears she felt her face get warm but brushes it off, thinking it's nothing. But that's where the snowball keeps getting bigger, she would see him talking to the folk again at the saloon and wish it was her he was laughing with, she'll quickly snap out of it, shake her head a little and think about how weird it was for her to have thought about that. She'd find herself beaming when he calls her name and feel so stupid for doing so, "Why am I so happy all of a sudden? He says my name all the time..."
And the snowball finally crashes when they have one of those talks, y'know the ones where you usually have at 3 am with your friends? Just talking about life in general, talking about the future, what are each of them scared of, what they feel and what they think about things, just being so vulnerable and open with each other. They've had their fair share of these talks but today was different. He looked absolutely stunning, despite being mentally exhausted he still looked divine, the way his eyes droop when his expression softens, the slow rise and fall of his chest when he sighs, his wide glistening smile turning into a small and soft curl on his lips. She can't help herself but make subtle touches and discreetly brush her shoulder against his as they lean towards the railings of the balcony, fighting the urge to just reach out and figure out small ways to make contact with him. She gazes at him the entire time, analyzing him, noticing all the little changes he makes, why can't she look away? She can't, she tried, so many times but it still ends up with her looking at him again trying to burn the image of him in her mind, wanting to leave it there forever. When the talk comes to a close, he turns to her and offers a hug, she accepts it and the moment he melts into her arms, she feels a sudden warmth on her chest and it instantly scatters around her entire body, enveloping her. They share each other's warmth, she slowly buries her face onto his shoulder, cherishing this small moment with him as they hold each other tight in each other's embrace. She's closing her eyes, inhaling his scent, it feels like she's in a dream, she doesn't want this moment to end, she doesn't wanna wake up just yet but.... They break a part, he gives her his goodbyes. As she goes home she lays in bed, face up, staring at the ceiling as she recalls everything that happened to her, putting pieces of the puzzle together as she finally comes to terms with herself and gets hit with the realization. It all comes crashing down to her, her eyes widen and she lets out an audible groan. She lays in silence for a moment, feeling absolute agony for being so stupid, she peaks through her fingers and looks back up the ceiling again, "Fuck..."
I haven't even dabbled with what goes on in her head after she accepts this fact, the sudden guilt consuming her, feeling like she betrayed Chujin, the person she loved with her entire soul only to fall for another. She hates it. And if she confesses she's going to be a wreck and Starlo just instantly goes to comfort her, telling her it's okay, she doesn't have to force herself to confess to h- No. She wants this, she's absolutely in love, he may have fallen first but she fell even harder, but with so much conflict in her mind, wanting to hold his hand without the weight on her shoulders pulling her back. The entire time they're together, Starlo finds the time to console her, comfort her, feeling horrible for making him stay up late just for her but he says he doesn't mind and he himself wants this, feeling absolutely honored to have her in her arms and that she trusts him so much that she's just so open and vulnerable and he's being so kind and patient to her I hate them I HATE THEM I FFUCKING HATE THUEJN R F FUCK FUCKF FFIFUUCJCC N I HATE THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
thE SLOW BURN IS SO SLOW BUT KEEP UP AND SET THE KITCHEN IN FLAMES PLEASE RAUGHHH
SAVE ME STAROBA W AS SAV VE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
TL;DR: uhhhh read a post and it convinced me that Ceroba slowly falls in love with Starlo over time without realizing it and when she finally does she feels really guilty cuz it feels like she's betraying Chujin, the slow burning is burning and the angst is scrumptious. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. /j
#LONG POST#sorry in advance if there were spelling errors I only proof read this a few times but im so tired we die like Chujin#Fun fact! I was sick again while I was typing this! But overtime I slowly felt better and I??????? WHHAHAAHSDHASD????????????#Staroba makes me so sick it cures me???? thats crazy (update: im sick again HAHAHAHAHAH)#There's so... SO MUCH more I want to say.#That includes Starlo slowly teaching her how to love again and Ceroba slowly opening up and letting herself accept his affection#What if Ceroba one day breaks and she just lets it all out and just cries in his arms kissing him cuz she cant take it anymore—#—shes apologizing profusely and overwhelming him with pent up frustration and bottled up love she doesn't allow herself to express—#—🦊“I-I'm sorry I'm so sorry.. I'm so selfish and greedy for this but I love you so much it hurts"—#—But he just smiles and lets her smother him... like shes kissing him while apologizing at the same time and he just keeps comforting her—#—saying things like ⭐:“it's okay” ⭐:“don't apologize” ⭐:“I'm fine”—#—bUT HE KEEPS GETTING CUT OFF WITH KISSES KAJSHDAHSDHDAJSHDASJDHASHDASHD IM BEING SO NORMAL ABOUT IT#OMG CHAT. HEAR ME OUT. CEROBA GETS BABY FEVER RAUGHGHGHHGHGHGHG IM SO OMG IM SO#*gets shot out of nowhere and falls down on the ground peter griffin style*#LM whispers#undertale yellow#undertale yellow spoilers#uty starlo#uty ceroba#staroba#character analysis
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dont you guys ever just make random characters in those papa louie games?? in my case, its ALWAYS vocaloid.
#miikanui#i swear im normal#these games are such a life saver for me during classes 😭😭#ESPECIALLY CIVICS.#AND ENGLISH. (sometimes)#school is kicking my ass#well#okay not really#things have been getting easier now that im balancing work and rest#EXCEPT FOR LAST NIGHT. that doesnt count.#i guess the only thing i'm worried about is how my schedule is going to look now that drama production has started#auditions are gonna be starting soon and im absolutely TERRIFIED.#i shouldve stuck with what i did last year and done backstage#SNAP OUT OF IT MIKA#YOURE GONNA BE FINE AND YOURE GONNA GET A ROLE !! (delusional)#oh before i forget#i might be a little inactive with posting art due to school and this :( i'll try and post art to the best of my abilities !!#why am i even putting it here no one reads tags#oh well#thanks for reading the tags if you did !! have a good day/night and dont forget to eat and stay hydrated :)#actual tags now#vocaloid#hatsune miku#luka megurine#papa louie#flipline studios#papa's scooperia#papas games#miikanui !!
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JUST RE WATCHED CAMPING BLUEY EPISODE
#I'm normal#i'm so incredibly normal#I'm completely#I am okay#I'm fine I#guys#I'm okay#Grips them#Grips you#Jean luc#jean luc bluey#bluey heeler#Bluey#Camping bluey#Camping#GUYS. IM OKAY.
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*through tears* HER LITTLE POG CHAMP…(Read More)
#anyway shout out to my big sis for getting me some offical arcane knock-off pogs. I realise the caption makes no sense without that context#and very little sense even with it probably. ANYWAY THAT ARC HUH#im fine. I'm okay. I'm NORMAL :)#Finished the episode and immediately started drawing this. Hope to render it a bit more#Arcane spoilers#Arcane#arcane season 2#arcane s2#arcane season 2 spoilers#jinx arcane#isha arcane#isha and jinx#AUAUAUAUUAGH familial tragedy gets me like no other#Fan art#Fanart#Jinx#Artists on tumblr#My art#Paint the town blue#The message hidden within the pattern#Spoilers
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#spilled ink#sad thoughts#sadgirl#spilled feelings#sad quotes#sad poem#spilled thoughts#depressing shit#sorry for being depressing#i'm sad#im so tired#im cryin#im dying#im fine#i'm not okay#i'm not sorry#i'm normal#i'm not crying you're crying#i'm not ok right now#i'm not ok lol#tw depressing stuff#tw depressing thoughts#depressing quotes#quote#words words words#kinda depressing
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youtube
I am unwell
#i volunteer#please#devil dust pleeeeeeeeeeeease#im right here#🙏🙏🙏#AAAAHHHHHHHH#im normal im normal im normal#hhhhh#i#need#kahdgagdgshsjdkagdhshddj#aksjdhsgdgdjfjf#i gotta draw her i GOTTA#WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!#🥺🥺🥺#please maam#maam#maam please#okay okay okay im done#im done i promise#MOMMY#what who said that#just kidding#NO BUT I NEED A MASC LESBIAN DRAG KING TO DOMINATE ME#RAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH#I'm done im calm its fine#qkjdshdgsgdhf#gummy says stuff#video#suggestive
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Spiralling down the jimmy drain?
um. um.um um um. um um.um um. um.
no? (smiles)
#LOOKS IN MY HERMITCRAFT FOLDER.#SEES NOTHING BUT JIMMY AND TANGO.#LISTEN.#LISTEN.... I#I CAN EX no i cant#what do u want from me#hybbat love of my life i cannot believe this is our first interaction i'm so embarrassed#head in hands#YES OKAY#IM DOWN THE JIMMY DRAIN#ITS DARK DOWN HERE#IM MELTING AWAY#im fine about him though#normal#uhhh huh#uh huh#yep#anyway.#ask#hybbat#ILL JUST BE LEAVING NOW /SILLY
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Homosexuality sometimes do be minding your business, doing your silly little desk job and then being hit with the memory of the sweet Hungarian religious girl you met while waiting for the bus in your unicorn onesie on the way to the airport and she approached you to share her church's pamphlet with you because talking to people made her nervous but she thought you would be nice to her, and then you chatted a bit about her religion, her family and being in a different country on your own at 18 and as the bus pulled over, she slipped a small bookmark with a saint on it onto your hand and there was phone number in the back, with her name on it, almost a decade ago.
Anyways, lesbians amirite???
#personal#lesbian#im okay im okay im fine i swear I'm normal about this interaction#i swear i do#the worst part is that i'm human and I I have long since forgotten her name and lost the bookmark#so it is all in my mind now#anyways#when I came bacl a month later#i tried going to a service in hope i'd see her#but that never really worked out#and then I tried the number and texts wouldn't go through :(#she was so cute so pretty and so sweet#i hope she's been well#wlw#wlw post#lgbtqia#lgbtq community
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its not like a perceived sensation of rejection or responsibility for loss (or just loss Normal) isnt the underlying factor in almost every single non-dying loop or anything. surely that wouldnt be the case right. Haha
#isat spoilers#🗝️#and i stare at siffrin and i dont say anything at all.#okay thats the end of the post dont look at the tags dont worry about it#the rare few that are just like “wait i fucked up” in a normal way#THE BONNIE ONE W/ THE DEATH RITUALS CONVO MADE ME JAW DROP BECAUSE THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME THAT HAD HAPPENED IN MY GAME#AND IT IMMEDIATELY CLICKED FOR ME LIKE. OH. THIS IS HAPPENING BECAUSE YOU WANT IT TO.#BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH THE ALTERNATIVE. WELL THAT'S CUTE#actor AND director!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahee !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and to this extent it makes me giggle whenever loop is like. Ummm. I have a suspicion. but I'm not going to say anything.............#like you know if you dont spell it out for siffrin he's going to pretend it's not real right. because it isn't until it's spoken aloud#because I'm sooo sure he knows that much at LEAST about what's going on with the wish#is that it's at least partially connected to their OWN willpower#enough so that he intentionally invoked it at the ending of act 3#okay im done reambling in the notes. you understand#I guess i just wonder how much about the play is Siffrin following the Universe as they tend to say to justify his willful repetition#and how much about the play is the Universe conceding to Siffrin to allow them that repetition#or rather. providing the avenue for him WAIT A MINUTE#OKAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY#CLENCHES JAW ITS FINE
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i wonder if there's the potential for a solution to the doxxing fucking over marginalized people specifically thing and/or the some people only being able/knowing where to engage with community online thing if we we were able to like. weaponize the relative lack of actual anonymity in the opposite direction.
like for one thing, instead of doxxing just resulting in problems from others in person, using that information to actively support the person instead, and for another for the other potentially more targeted use of the internet to find people to engage with in person (although that one you'd have to be even more careful about in case it worked in the opposite direction. I'm just thinking it would be nice to have something more structured/widespread than happening to find out your internet friends are in your local area, that could potentially be used to circumvent people not meeting in third spaces/other issues people have initially finding local community in person.)
It would be nice if instead of exclusively finding offline solutions/telling people how to be more careful we could also use what's often part of the problem to our advantage when it does happen. Like, having a way to address it that isn't only preventative.
#no idea whether it's actually practical im essentially just thinking outloud#if we could have another pokemon go thing where people have the opportunity to#encounter each other on a friendly basis in person because of their phones that would also be nice#idk how you'd do some of this in a way that's actually 'safe' though#mypost#the doxxing response thing would have to be either like. a general cultural shift which is probably very unlikely#or a targeted attempt to support people affected that extends to their local area#and the other would kind of just require people to be fine with telling people online roughly where they are it seems like#unless there's some additional vetting process or something you could use first#which would obviously have a bunch of risks + more for some people than others#but like. part of my personal situation re online safety#is that a. i've already been on here and posting shit since i was a younger teen#and it would be practically impossible to make my normal social media doxx-proof to begin with#and b. none of my political opinions or me being trans or anything are exactly a secret in person#so anything someone could try to harass me with in person would either be trying to just like. embarass me in general i guess (useless)#telling people something they already know (also useless)#lying (could cause mostly temporary problems with the wrong person at most)#swatting (okay yeah this one could cause problems if they're stupid enough#to fall for it but also i don't really think there's anything to be done about it)#or other threats to my physical safety (people can do that anyway considering how outwardly visible i am about my#opinions/being trans/etc + that would require them to be in my phsyical proximity as well)#so basically my threat model for internet security is way more lax on General Social Media than a lot of people would think it should be#and i've used the same url for events i've attended in person#but considering that people could definitely find me if they really wanted one way or the other + there's nothing really. secret? on here.#like. there's stuff i wouldn't randomly bring up in conversation but none of this is something i'm actively hiding really#and then if there's something i do want to use the internet for but want to keep Secret secret from my irl identity#that's just a whole different account that i'm creating#tldr you can't realistically intimidate me by threatening to reveal information that's already public knowledge#i guess maybe once i move i'll have to reconsider whether i want to try a new threat model since some of the infomation people would be abl#to get easily would be outdated but i also almost prefer it to stay mostly a moot point so people can't effectively use it as leverage
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IM SO PISSED OFF I'M SO PISSED OFF ONE POINT AWAY FROM GOLD???? ONE???? WE HAD NO NEGATIVE FEEDBACK????? LIKE AT LEAST IF WE WEREN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR GOLD LIKE LAST YHEAR GIVE US CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM AND HOW TO IMPROVE BUT THERE WAS NO REAL CRITISISMS YOU HAD TO OFFER????. NONE????? BITCH?????
#killing the adjudicators of [recent choir competition] with my mind#except outnumbered guy i trust you actually UNDERSTAND THE BLOODY STYLE OF MUSIC#im so pissed off i'm so pissed off#we go tthe ajudicator feedback from the choir competition we competed in 2 weeks ago#they gave out 6 gold awards#we got a silver#which fine okay we can always improve for next year you know proud of us anyway#but like????#the feedback was that we were really good and the judges loved us??? and that our technique was fantastic and we were excellent????#like thats not feedback a silver choir gets#also they were like “need more melisma in the bach” like NO WE DIDN'T? DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE STYLE OF MUSIC WE WERE DOING????#THE BOW CHANGES WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE DUMB FUCKS#sorry im very normal and not salty at all (🧂🧂🧂🧂🧂me🧂🧂🧂🧂🧂)#like another choir got an 88 which cool fine congrats#but like#we were better than them?? their harmonies didn't lock in very well#but just because they were showy and had a dramatic piece#they did really well#i also think its unfair of the adjudicators to tell us we needed to be louder#when all the choirs that got gold had 2-3 times the amount of people we did#like my bad let me just clone myself real quick#anyway im not mad im not mad im not mad im not mad#(we won gold at the world choir games in the year and it sucks to feel like we've regressed somehow)#(when we've tried so hard and improved so much idk)#choirposting#saltyposting
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if Bean doesnt eat something soon i think i am going to lose it
#personal#theoretically i know c versis can go for months w/o food but. it HAS been months#i'm considering rehousing her/redoing her tank in case she just isnt happy in there anymore#which is my suspicion bc she destroyed part of her web tunnel#it's just scaring me#and also ive never rehoused an adult tarantula#maybe the bottom of the house is too dirty and that's upsetting her? it's hard to spot clean most of it bc of how the cork bark#and her web are placed#so there's some old dead feeders tucked in the back as well as her old molt#and i can re-do the whole substrate if i can get her out and into a different container for a bit#hopefully w a cricket she will eat#half of the problem is i just cant get the crickets TO her#but then even when they do get near her she doesnt eat them#ughhhhh#if anyone has any personal experience getting picky new world arboreals to eat after a long hunger strike PLEASE reach out#also if u read this far u get the additional sad news that my tiny little apache jumping spider has died#fine yesterday. curled under today. poor lil guy :( idk if he reached the end of his lifespan or there was another issue#also sprout hasnt been seen in a few months hopefully she's okay tucked in her cave#but i never did get her sexed and she's 3 years old which...if she's a male that's the end of her lifespan#at least mid-nite is doing exceptionally well and eating ravenously after his post-molting period#doty also ate well today#reminding myself that im Not a terrible spider caretaker and it's normal for c versicolors to be fussy sometimes
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