#im fine now it was just an insane trip i was all fucked up i didn’t think i could walk bc my legs wouldn’t stop shaking the entire ride

[newfeeling77]

i miss my friends i havent spent time with anyone in like 2 weeks but im also so sick of being busy i want to just sit at home alone forever

[puppmeo]

Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody

[garlique]

my tummy hurts so bad i hate traveling

[luveline]

IM BEGGING ON MY KNEES PLEASEEEE 🔥🔥🔥 NOTICE MEEEE

Really quiet and shy reader who’s new to the team and Spencer JUST got out of prison like a month ago and he comes back and sees the cutest girl he’s ever seen so young and new to the team and can’t help but tease her

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEE🧎🏾‍♀️🧎🏾‍♀️🧎🏾‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️

Unit Chief Emily Prentiss scares the fuck out of you, but you're still not as intimidated by her as you are by Dr. Reid. 

Dr. Reid, and not Special Supervisory Agent Reid —there's a big difference— shouldn't be a scary guy. He doesn't have any tattoos or piercings, his haircut is tame, and you watch him pour enough sugar into his coffee to weaken the enamel of your teeth just looking at it. But while all or this is true, Dr. Reid just came back from a weeks long stint in one of the most tense prisons in the world. Emily assured you in her way that everything bad you may have heard about Dr. Reid would be false, and that anything positive is true. 

He looks different to how you'd pictured him. Emily's promise aside, Garcia painted him as some sweater-wearing Teddy bear of a boy who likes chess and Doctor Who. 

This is a man. Full grown, full suit, dark-eyes. You're not sure what to feel as he spots you. When Anderson gave you the desk across from Spencer's you'd thought you were lucky, getting treated as part of the team from the very beginning, but now you're not so sure. 

“Hey,” he says, eyes on you as he puts down his coffee atop a stack of medical journals. His things were left untouched while he was gone, even though he was technically separated from the bureau. He's well respected. “I've been excited to meet you. I'm Spencer.” 

“Dr. Reid,” you say immediately, standing up from your chair to meet him besides your desks. 

“Spencer,” he says again. “I don't shake.” 

“Oh, no, of course not,” you say, hiding your hands behind your back. “I know you were here long before me, but I can safely say how nice it is to have you back.” You smile. “They were all so worried about you.” 

“You kept them in line while I was gone?” 

“No, I was useless. I've never felt this stupid in my life.” 

“That's just how it feels for the first year.” He isn't smiling, isn't frowning, a hint of amusement in his eyes and hands steady as he tucks them into his pants pockets. “It's not the others, is it?” 

“No, there's just a lot to learn.” 

“It shouldn't be hard for you, though, right?” He gestures to you like this means something. 

“I don't…” 

“You're what, twenty four?” Spencer picks up his mug and takes a drink. “If you're smart enough to be here now, you'll be fine.” 

“You think so?” 

“Don't tell me you're scared, Y/N.” His lashes flare ever so slightly in feigned surprise. After a second of your obvious flustering, he laughs. “No, you don't scare easily. I can tell.” 

Absolutely nothing like you told me he'd be, Penelope. I thought we were friends. 

“So what was your last case like? The Bentley driver?” he asks, nodding toward your desk. “How's your peer reviews going? They used to drive me insane.” 

You startle and rush to sit in your desk chair, opening the case file from the last case to gather his approval. He flicks through pages, almost non-committal, though he gives a hum of approval when he reads your UnSub summary, and when he sees a comment you'd made that you'd believed to be particularly astute, he laughs. “Yeah,” he says, “you'll be fine.” The smell of him floats your way, cologne or aftershave that makes you feel dizzy. He looks down at you. “Something wrong?” 

“Nothing, uh–” You bite your tongue rather than answer and trip over another useless sentence. 

He touches the top of your shoulder lightly. “It will get easier,” he promises. 

He means work, of course, but for a split second you wonder if he means being near him. If he's like this often, you doubt that that's true. 

[rensukepie]

Lorord do u have anythjng… to say abt Aiku and niou…. They’re so fine but i legit cannot find a single other person going crazy abt niou on here Guys comeon… THEY’RE BOTH SOOO BIG AND STRONGG if u have Anyything abt size kink or manhandling i think i’d genuinely go fuckinf Insane .,,,,

aiku + niou size kink/manhandling :3

a/n : IM SO SORRY @aikuposer FOR TAKING SO LONG ON THIS… (I made niou’s part longer for you :3)

minors dni

nsfw under the cut

oliver aiku

you knew how big and strong your boyfriend was even before you dated him.

sometimes, you’d see him playing soccer in the fields with a couple of his friends or you’d spot him in the gym lifting a crazy amount, which would keep you up at night with your tiny fingers inside of you, thinking about how easy you could be for him to carry around, or how he could just pick you up and press you against a wall to fuck his cock into you right there, or if his cock would show a bulge in your stomach.

….

“ah- a…aiku…you’re too big f’me..” your eyes are all glossy because of him! you can’t even count the amount of times he’s made you cum already. but right now, all you care about is his big cock plowing in and out of your tight cunt. so much so that you’re practically creaming all over it!

“mm… you say that every time I fuck you doll.. but you like how big i am, don’t you? you’re fucking creaming all over my dick like a slut.”

it’s almost as if he could read your face.

“y..yeah… feels so good… gonna cum again..”

“cum for me baby.. show me how good i make you feel…”

….

of course, he’ll treat you right after all of that! starting you a nice bath and possibly another round :3!

kazuma niou

“n…niou.. mm! ffuckkk…”

as one of his friends, you had agreed to help him forget about his girlfriend who broke up with him recently. but for some reason, you’re now in his bedroom and you don’t know how or when it happened!

you hate to admit it, but you always thought niou was somewhat—no, very attractive. you couldn’t help it! there was so much tension between you too, and now the both of you are fucking in his bedroom.

he’s so strong! his arms and thighs are sooo big, you wonder if he could throw you around and just take you at any time… I mean, he’s a boxer, isn’t he?

“you’re pussy’s squeezing around my cock baby.. you wanted this huh?”

“n…no I didn’t..! haah— mm…”

“you can lie to me all you want, but this pretty pussy of yours tells me everything I need to know..”

soon after, he’s throwing you into a different position all with ease! lying you on top of him, squeezing your cute little ass while he thrusts his cock into you once again.

…..

the next time you see him, you both are at your apartment this time. your roommate went on a trip with her friends, so you both had the whole thing to yourselves.

he’s such a tease! licking and sucking at your pussy even if you’ve already came with both of his arms wrapped around your legs. he seriously can’t get enough of your sweet cunt, can he?

“n…niou! you’re so mean… haah—…”

“sorry cutie… can’t help it… your cunt is s’sweet and cute…”

….

[boydepartment]

ོ༘₊⁺☀︎₊⁺⋆.˚ from the start (trips) - nishimura riki x m! reader

inspired by this cover - angst - masterlist - wc 250-300 -> PT 2

riki absolutely hated your tendency to have new crushes almost weekly. you were his best friend ever and something that kept him from going insane. riki always had busy schedules so being able to hang out w you once in awhile helped balance it.

there was just one thing, you were a hopeless romantic and would crush on anything breathing. and normally this didn’t bother him but now for some reason

it was.

it was REALLY bothering him.

riki didn’t know what was wrong with him, he watched you as you started to wash his face, bumming off his products and clothes.

he liked when you both shared clothes, having the same style helped a lot. he liked shopping with you too, how your eyes would light up a bit seeing something. or when you guys went out to get coffee and you’d know his order.

but you were his friend. yeah…

“oh and then she said this thing that was just so funny it had me cracking up and-“

you were ranting about this girl you met in your class, which was weird because riki noted that you mentioned slightly last week that you leaned towards guys which wasn’t a problem for him at all and-

no never mind riki didn’t want to think about that right now.

“she also said this one thing about my hoodie- well your hoodie and-“

“okay okay i get it.” his tone even took him aback, he felt horrible when he noticed you tensed up and turned to him.

your messy hair falling perfectly on your boyish features, the way your eyes looked, the small details on your face. this has been happening a lot, the awkward silences and him staring at you for a little too long. then it clicked…

oh

oh

“i’m sorry- i- i don’t know where that- i’m sorry continue.” riki coughed and looked down at his phone.

he heard you huff and he looked at you again, “i’m not going to talk if you’re just going to look at your phone. in fact you’ve been off this entire hangout dude… i don’t know what the fuck i did to you- god forbid i share about MY day… you get-“

“okay well maybe you’re fucking annoying talking about all your crushes every week, it’s to the point where i tune you out because it’s so fucking irritating!” riki snapped and he now knew where this anger was coming from- jealousy

he watched as your features shifted from anger, to concern, right back to anger, “well fine since i’m SO annoying i guess i’ll leave then.”

riki felt you shoulder check him before walking out of the bathroom, he stood there for two seconds debating.

he could run after you, and risk ruining everything.

or he could stay here in the bathroom and wait till it all blows over the next day- handling it in a very “dude” way. that’s what jake and him do. just handling it the dude way with a quick apology after an argument then it’s over.

but to riki- you weren’t just a dude, you weren’t just one of his guy friends, you weren’t just his best friend, you were more than that.

and before he knew it, his feet were sprinting to the other side of the house where you were slipping your shoes on. panicking he full on tackled you.

“what the hell is your problem?!” you yelled as you hit the floor

“IM JEALOUS OKAY? IM JEALOUS!” riki yelled, holding onto you like you’d disappear

he had no clue what the hell he was doing. he felt crazy- insane even.

he felt you sit up slightly, rubbing your head from the impact and he looked up at you. still holding tightly onto you.

your brows were contorted and confused, you were dazed obviously because of the fall.

“jealous of what, you psycho?!” a small smile started to curl up on your lips, he felt his stomach churn as you kept speaking, “you’re my best friend, some girl won’t change that-“

“no- no it will-“ riki was panicking again, god what was wrong with him?! usually he’s confident and calm what the hell is going on?!

you looked at him again, “riki genuinely i’m not a shitty friend i’m not going to leave you for her that’s a terrible thing for a friend to-“

“i- i-“ he swallowed hard and he did something he is going to regret, he let go of you, he realized just because you said you liked boys, doesn’t mean you necessarily liked him like that, “yeah- yeah sorry… i just got paranoid i guess.”

“stupid.” you laughed and shoved him playfully, you took off your shoes, “since you’re not going to be an asshole anymore let’s finish that movie.” you stood up and riki watched you walk back further into the house. when you turned the corner he turned so he was on his back, he stared at the ceiling.

memories flashed of you and his hangouts, he felt his heart drop.

i guess he’s always loved you from the start

[juyeoz]

XO KITTY S2 IS OUT‼️‼️‼️ pls share your thoughts when u watch it 🙏🏻 i NEED someone to talk about it

I JUST FINISHED THE SEASONNNN, XO KITTY S2 SPOILERS AHEAD

First off. family reunion was so cute i’m so happy for them. Now second off……

YOO I FUCKINNG HATE STELLA. IVE HATED HER SINCE SHE ASKED KITTY TO HELP HER WITH MINHO BROOO I WAS RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING SHES SO WEIRDDDDD AND MENTALLY INSANE.

but jin and q were the cutest omfgg i acc lived for their scenes. also juliana and q forever being my fave duo they’re so silly with each other

THEN THEN THE DRAMA???? THE SKI TRIP?????? PENIEL BEING MINHOS BROTHER??? Life was hectic. so much stuff happened😭😭😭 BUT MINHO AND KITTY’S SCENES WERE SOOO CUTE UGHH THE RAIN SCENE YOYOYOY THE DREAM???? HE LOOKED SO FUCKING GOOD

Yeah i was drooling looooll………. BUT THEN KITTY AND YURI?????? I WAS BAFFLED THE WHOLE KISS CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD 😭😭 then juliana and yuri and kitty??????? Lord. im glad yuri and kitty made up in the end tho!!!!! if they didn’t yall would’ve seen me on the news❤️ (POOR YURI THO OMFFGG)

the moment i heard like me better playing i paused so fast CS THATS LJ AND PETERS SONGGGG SO IM LIKE YOOO HOLD ON IS HE COMING??? AND HE APPEAREDDD I WAS LIVID I LOVE HIM SM 😞😞😞 him and kitty, their scenes were a nice break from all this drama BYEEE

dae and eunice they’re so cute (just watched the scene where they lwk had a fight omg??? NOOOOOO) but poor dae’s dad bro i felt so bad HES SO ADORABLE🙁

back to minho and kitty HE FELL FIRST SHE FELL HARDER???? OH MY GODDDDDDD IM TWEAKING OUTT SHE WANTS HIM SO BAD PLEASEEEE PLEASEEEEE flashback to when minho saw kitty at the party last year and her looking at him now???? yo 💔💔💔💔💔 but love q for setting them up like OOUUHUG YOOOO NOT STELLA SEEING THEM DANCING ESP AFTER KITTY SAYS I MISS YOU???? (yeahhh i’m kms this scene is abt to wreck me she’s such a manipulative little SHIT BRO) AND KITTY SAYING THE SAME WORDS FROM MINHOS CONFESSION AT THE END OF EP 7?????? YOOOO THE WRITER KNOWS WHAT THEYRE DOINGG SORRY I LOVE THIS SHIP SM

ps. alex (forever my love) and dae is acc so bad……….. he and minho look so good this season like Hello??????? their beefing moment hurt me but i’m so happy they’re warming up again anddddd im going to binge minho edits and add them to my minho collection…. It’s been dry…..

DAE PERFORMING SEVEN??? AND THEYRE OUT HERE DANCING W HIM??? ITS GIVING CAMP ROCK I CANTTTT (sad that he didn’t win tho….) AND THE PROPOSAL AWWEEEE THATS SO CUTE im so glad the family is good again

WATCHING THE SCENE OF KITTY AND MINHO AFTER THE TALENT SHOW RNNN LIVE REACTIONN PLEASEE PLEASSEE oh. K. They didn’t kiss K. I see how it is.

Okay… watching the last scene now….. live reaction. not the long walks in the sculpture garden BYEEE YOO HE LOOKS SO GOOD IN THIS RED OMFOFMFOKFGOKG hes so fine God. Uhhh stop whys he leaving WHYS HE LEAVING STFU STFU BUEE NOT BETTER OFF AS A PLAYBOY… TELL HIM KITTY PLEASEEEE PLEASSEEEEEEE I DONT GOT THAT LONG. Yo. ISTFG IF THEY GIVE US ANOTHER SEASON PLEASEEE JUST YOOO I CANT DO THIS OH KY GODDDDD YOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOTHING???? NOTHING????????? Awww at least a hug. that’s cute ig MINHO NEEDS TO SAY SKEMTJING YOO YOOO YOO WHATS HAPPENEIGN WHATS HAPPENIGN YOYOYOYYOOYOY ARE THEY GNA KISS YOOO YO….Uhhh guys he walked away? you’re seeing me on the news 7:13 pm jan 19th. WAIT WAIT SHE CALLED FOR HIMY O WAIT WIAITJTITITI OMGGOMFOFMG ASKING TO JOIN HE SAYSSSSSSSSSSSSZSZSS UESSS OKAYYY DEF A S3 DEFINITELYYYY OH MYOGDDD YEYSYAYSHSH

best believe i’m going to work on something based off of this show guys……😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

[babyisa1]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ party in the maldives/ TOM

warnings: alcohol, slightly smutty towards the end, pretty funny/fluffy, swearing

1:45am

you heard the waves clashing in the backround along with a warm breeze flowing in your faces as you locked hands with tom, walking towards the open bar on the beach. your heels click on the wooden path as you near it, tom sending you a quick smile as the booming of the music gets louder.

„LETS GET THIS FUCKING PARTY STARTED!!“ bill shouts, pushing between you and tom and sprinting towards the bar, bombarding the barman with different drink orders. the poor guy barely understood english, let alone english with a thick german accent.

„fucking hell, someones excited“ tom laughs, turning around to see georg and gustav chuckling aswell. you smile, grabbing toms hand again as you enter the bar, thankfully not that crowded. you could feel the beats of the music through your feet as you walk up to the bar to order some drinks. „a line of the strongest shots you have please“ you state, smiling brightly at the barman who sends you a wink before bending down and rummaging through the storage under the top.

„i dont feel like shots baby..“ tom mentions, „we dont either, well have a beer“ georg and gustav agree, you look at them with your eyebrows furrowed. „um, these are all for me, idiots“ you scoff, turning back around to the bar and seeing the colourful shots perfectly lined up on a palm tree decorated board.

you throw your head back, downing the shots while you feel the hot alcohol burn as it trickled down your throat. it was a good burn though, which powered you to finish them all. „holy shit are you insane? im the one thats going to have to deal with your drunk ass later!“ tom remarks, his eyes widened. you laugh, already starting to feel your body buzzing as you walk away from the bar to find bill.

your jaw almost unhinges from your face as you spot bill making out with a girl in the corner, his hands feeling up her body as they basically ate each others faces off. you giggle, feeling proud of bill as he usually was super shy, a total softie. you strut towards the dance floor, loosening up as you begin to sway your hips to the beat.

half an hour later

your dancing was sensual and in control in the beginning, but now the amount of shots you took earlier hit you like a truck. not to mention the few cocktails you had in between. you stumbled slightly through the club, looking for tom as he didnt join you to dance. a bright smile tugs on your face when you spot him just outside, smoking a cigarette as he takes in the beach view.

even though you were absolutely plastered, you couldnt ignore his beauty. the sky was pricked with stars, and the warm salty breeze from the ocean softly blew into toms face. he didnt seem drunk though, maybe a little tipsy as he knew he had to be somewhat sober to take care of you.

„tommmm where wherw yu i missd youu“ you slurred, tripping over your heels as tom swiftly caught you in his arms, dropping his cigarette. „god youre so drunk.. are you okay? do you have to puke?“ tom asks lovingly, putting the cigarette out with his shoe.

„noo *hiccup* .. im finee lets go for a walk!“ you exclaim, grabbing toms hand as you throw your heels off and run on the sand. you and tom laugh loudly as you both run across the beach, it was like no one else existed and you two were in your own little bubble. you accidentally step on your long flowy dress, causing you to faceplant on the sand as you take tom down with you.

you two groan slightly in pain, but after a few moments of silence you burst into laughter. „i bet your heavy ass broke a couple of my ribs“ you laugh, tom now laying flat on his back on the warm sand as you both face the sky. the laughing dies down after a while, as toms takes your hand into his and softly grazes his thumb across it.

„the view is gorgeous..“ you sigh out, mesmerised by the sparkly stars above you both. „it sure is“ tom replies, before you turn your head towards him. he was staring at you the whole time, causing your face to flush bright red.

it was special moments like this when you realized how deep your love and connection for eachother was. it was unconditional. he gazed at you which so much love, you swore your heart was going to jump out of your chest.

the faded beat of the music still played in the backround, causing you to snap out of you trance and lift yourself on your feet, your head pounding slightly as you were still drunk. you strip yourself completely naked before running towards the water. „join me tom, dont be a pussy!“ your shout, giggling. tom gasps, whipping his head to the bar (to see if anyone was looking) so fast he almost got whiplash. he hesitated a bit, before mumbling under his breath; „god- fuck it“

he quickly took his clothes off, running towards you as the cold water made him shiver. you both were now chest deep in the water, and tom pulls you into a hug to keep warm. with your chest flush against his, you wrap your arms around his neck, smiling. you begin to plant soft open mouthed kisses on his neck, causing him to relax at your touch. „mm..“ you hum in between kisses; „your so fucking hot..“ you breath out, grabbing his hand and pulling it underwater to feel how wet you are.

he groans lowly in satisfaction, before quickly coming to his senses. „we cant baby.. not here and not with you like this..“ he whispers, referring to your drunken state. you ignore him, smirking playfully as you find his sweet spot, just below his ear. his chest heaves up and down heavily, as your hand trails along his toned abdomen, towards his heat. „shit.. youre driving me insane y/n“ he breaths out, almost giving in when he takes you by surprise and picks you up, bridal style. he walks you both over the your pile of clothes in the sand as you whine out of disapointment.

just as you both were about to get dressed, you hear distant screaming coming from the bar. both your heads shoot up, witnessing bill and the rest of the band with total shock on their faces.

„WHAT THE FUCK-" gustav exclaims, his hand flying to his mouth. georg bursted out into laughter, and bill cant believe his eyes. „woahhh i don’t remember drinking that much.. is that tom and y/n butt naked over there?“ bill asks in confusion, rubbing his eyes.

„oh theyre real alright!“ georg blurts out between laughs, holding his cramping stomach.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

this wasnt proof read so i apologize if its shit, but i rlly liked the idea of this oneshot :) hope you all enjoyed!

[purgatory-is-life]

Mechtober prompt 24/day 24-Hijacking

another one i mightve. gone a little insane with lol

@mechtober-2024

And The Walls Begin to Tear (Rending This False and Hollow Reality) - Reality666Rift999 - The Mechanisms (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

tw; cursing, disassociation, losing time, blood, sleep walking, marius gets kneecapped briefly, implied sex and a few sexual innuendos, like maybe one idk what u want from me im but a hapless ace, nightmares, probably more, let me know what i should add!!

---

Lyfrassir could not be more confused. Which was saying something, as they lived on a sentient starship with immortal pirates after watching their entire world get consumed by an outer god.

And yet, here they were, confused out of their mind.

They had been on their way to hang out with Brian in the cockpit, content to just work on their most recent knitting project while he flew and talked about anything and nothing, and yet…

They were in the artillery storage room. Somehow.

Admittedly, Lyf hadn’t been feeling the best, they’d had a persistent and annoying headache, and had been a bit dizzy, but that didn’t explain how they somehow got to a storage unit while on their way to the bridge. Aurora was very careful to keep the storage rooms away from high-traffic areas, a few too many instances of food getting destroyed half-way through a long haul trip, and Marius and Jonny eventually resorting to cannibalism for one reason or another made it abundantly clear it was too dangerous to keep the storage areas where everyone went regularly.

Lyfrassir had no idea how they got here.

Lyf looked around at the room, and went to speak, but Aurora beat them to it.

“Lyfrassir?”

Lyf jumped, looking around frantically for where the voice was coming from, spotting a speaker hiding in the corner. “A- Aurora…?”

“Yes. Are you alright, Lyfrassir?” The voice was almost robotic, and slightly glitchy, drawing out the vowels a bit longer than they should’ve been drawn out. Lyf had never heard Aurora’s voice, according to the others she hardly used it before they arrived, and she’d given up entirely on it shortly before they arrived at Yggdrasil. She preferred to communicate with her screens when she had to.

“I- yes, I’m fine– why am I down here? Did you bring me down here for something?”

“No, I didn’t…” Cold air blew into Lyfrassir’s face. “You stopped walking towards the bridge, and then my camera footage got incredibly corrupted in several rooms. When they cleared, you were here, staring at nothing. I have been trying to get your attention for twenty minutes.”

“…What the fuck,” Lyfrassir looked around again, tail swishing as their heartrate picked up. “What the fuck.”

“Are you alright, Lyfrassir?” Aurora repeated.

“I– I don’t remember coming here? I don’t…” Lyf wrung their hands anxiously, startling at the fact that they weren’t holding their knitting supplies anymore.

Aurora blew cold air at Lyfrassir again, creaking and groaning in concern.

They took a deep breath.

“Okay… Okay, this is… weird… But… This can be a problem for Future Lyf. How- how do I get out…?”

Aurora creaked, fans whirring with unsaid concern, but she lit up a light above the door, and Lyf left. They still had to keep Brian company, after all.

—--

The colors were overwhelming, swirling and squealing at the very thought of being perceived.

“Edda?”

They were singing, and that singing sounded so familiar, so warm.

“C’mon, this ain’t funny, Edda.”

Like their mothers and their father, it was comforting. Like their brother and their sibling, It was so warm.

It was calling.

They were calling.

“Edda! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

They wanted to reach towards it, but did they have hands? No, they weren’t real. They were never real, after all.

What were they, again?

“C’mon, the joke’s over, Edda!”

An extension of its will. That’s what they are. Just another piece of It.

“The fuck is going on right now, Lyfrassir?”

They are a Key, they are a Gate. Just a pawn in It’s great game.

The colors were so warm, so beautiful.

“Lyf?”

The Void was calling.

“Lyf!”

The Void was so warm.

“Lyf, please…! I-…”

Their family was there. The colors were so pretty, moving and swirling with minds of their own. They wanted to reach towards them, join the colors around them–

“Lyfrassir!”

Jonny snapped his fingers under Lyfrassir’s nose, snapping them out of their haze. They blinked blankly at him for a moment, before glaring.

“What, d’Ville?”

“What the fuck yourself, Edda. You were jus’ starin’ off into space and weren’t listening.”

“What? You were just telling me about your concert plans, I was listening.”

Jonny growled, rolling his eyes. “Now I know you ain’t paying attention, we moved on from concerts like, ten fucking minutes ago.”

Lyfrassir stared at him, eyebrows furrowed. “…What? But– hm…” Lyf turned away, picking at the skin on their lips. Jonny rolled his eyes.

“You’re lucky we don’t know shit about your immortality, otherwise you’d have a bullet in the head right ‘bout now.”

“I’m surprised you’ve been able to resist this long,” Lyf pointed out.

“Fuck off. I ain’t dealing with whatever Raph comes up with if you die-die.”

Lyfrassir flipped Jonny off at that. “Whatever. Just continue. Where were you?”

“Fine. So…”

—--

Ever since escaping Yggdrasil and the Bifrost, Lyfrassir had been experiencing nightmares. Screaming, the sounds of boiling flesh and shrill growls, and overwhelming rainbow aura’s that burned to look at. Squamous Things from deep within the Void, things covered in eyes and tendrils constantly releasing an ear-piercing shriek from their many mouths. Every night, scenes from the Black Box and reminders of the Bifrost played behind their eyes. And those nightmares only seemed to increase in intensity and frequency after they died for the first time.

They were not pleasant. And sometimes Lyf woke up from those nightmares sore and more tired than they were when they went to sleep, sometimes they had unknown bruises and scrapes (the injuries were at least usually easy to hide, never on their hands or face or tail. It was… almost odd, really, how the bruises were never visible when they were in their normal clothes…), and on very rare occasions, they woke up in a completely different part of the ship.

Usually, when they woke up in other parts of the ship, it was to loud, blaring alarms as Aurora creaked and shrieked at them. Aurora had expressed that it was hard for her to keep an eye on them, her video feed corrupting and glitching every once in a while, only getting worse whenever they lost time or woke up somewhere else. So sometimes, she woke up with Lyfrassir out of place, they were just staring or standing somewhere, rainbow-tinted hair floating aimlessly around the former-inspector, and Aurora had no idea when or how they arrived at the rooms they appeared in. And the most effective way Aurora had found to snap them out of their strange state, was to blare alarms. She had tried to flash the lights with the alarms a few times, but that often just served to make them further disassociate.

So usually, if they woke up in a strange, different part of the ship, it was to loud, blaring alarms.

This time, though, they woke up to soft, yet chaotic and discordant violin music. It was… surprisingly nice, working to drown out the call of the Void leftover from their dreams.

They blinked, attempting to clear the colors and chaos from their vision. As the colors edged away, only remaining on the periphery, Lyf watched as Baron Marius von Raum came into view, playing that discordant melody. His eyes were closed, eyebrows furrowed, as he focused on the song.

Lyfrassir felt a piercing pain behind their eyes, causing them to flinch. “Shit, fuck,” they mumbled, closing one set of their eyes and rubbing them. They tried to inhale, something stung as something warm started dripping from their nose. “Fuck!” They said, a bit louder, using their free hand to catch the thick, dark blue, slightly iridescent, blood. The noise caught Marius’s attention, and he opened his eyes. He smiled, not his usual manic grin, something different… Something a lot softer. He put his violin down, no longer playing that strange song.

“Ah, you’re back. I’m glad that worked… I wasn’t sure it would, actually. That–… Normally doesn’t bring me back.”

“What the fuck are talking about, von Raum?” Lyf asked, pinching their nose in an attempt to stop the blood.

“You were Lost, from what I could tell. I get Lost a lot too, though I bet it’s different for you…” Marius hummed. “Wow, you’re ah, you’re bleeding a lot.”

“Mm.” Lyf sat down, leaning against one of the Aurora’s many rooms. They looked around, trying to figure out where they were, but the colors at the edges of their sight seemed intent on making sure they had no idea where they were. “Where… What room are we in?”

“Hm? Oh, ah,” Marius looked around, “looks like our meat storage room. Or one of them, at least.”

The blood finally stopped flowing from their nose, and they let go of their nose, wiping their blood stained hand on their sleep-pants. “Hm.”

“Are you alright, Lyf? Do you– I can keep playing, if you think you might get Lost again.”

“Von Raum, what does that even mean? You keep saying that– I was ‘Lost’. What the fuck do you mean by that?” They snapped. Perhaps, they could have asked nicer, but they were tired and had a migraine forming quickly, they couldn’t think past the fog very well. Marius didn’t seem to mind too much, shrugging.

“I… I really can’t think of how to describe it. Funny, for a storyteller, right? I just… I get Lost a lot. In my Music. I thought, for a while, that the others understood, but I’m starting to think they don’t. They get a weird look about them whenever I bring it up. Hm…” Marius sat down opposite Lyf, fidgeting with his violin bow. “I– I live because of Music, I’m Marius because of that Music. Because it needed a Voice, a Player in the real world. It’s something like the Bifrost, I think. I don’t know. I’ve lived with that Music for my entire life, even before I was Marius. I can deal with it, because I’ve figured out how to deal with it– when to let it take over, when to ignore it, when to try to play over it. It takes me sometimes when I’m not paying attention, though. It’s a weird thing, Sound isn’t consistent, you know. But it is loud, and sometimes it’s hard not to get overwhelmed by it. Not to get Lost in it. That’s what I mean, you were Lost in your own thing. Probably the Bifrost, considering… I dunno what it’s like for you, but it’s never pleasant for me, and I figured you’d rather have something to guide you back out sooner rather than just leaving you to wander ‘round Aurora aimlessly till you found your own way out.”

Lyfrassir opened up their second set of eyes again, watching Marius carefully. Marius was picking at his flesh hand with his metal one. His violin had disappeared. “That’s…” Lyf wasn’t sure what they were going to say. They could probably say a lot of things, there were several thoughts running through their head in response. “That explains a lot. …Thank you, Marius,” they settled on.

“Of course! Like I said, though, I uh, I wasn’t sure it would work… Though it did for Zeze, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised…” Marius’s eyes glazed over, and he stared off into space for a few minutes. The silence was filled only by the occasional creaks and groans coming from the sleeping Aurora.

“What? Who’s…” They let their voice trail off, not wanting to put their foot in their mouth like they had so many times before with the Mechanisms. “Marius?”

The other jumped, tail flicking before he settled again. “Hm? Yes, Lyf?”

“Are you– alright? What was it you just said?”

“Hm? I just finished explaining getting Lost, didn’t I?”

“I… Sure, I suppose so…”

“Alright. Anyway, you going to be alright, Lyf?”

“I… I probably will be, yes.”

“Alright!” Marius stood up. “Then I’m going to head to my room. If you find yourself Lost again, or on your way to it, I’m just a knock away! Another time, Inspector!” and then Marius disappeared further into the sleeping starship.

—--

Lyfrassir was half asleep, warm and comfortable on top of Brian (he kept his lights on, dimmed but still on, when he slept, which was slightly odd to Lyf), content to just stay there forever…

…Only to have their one chance at comfortable sleep interrupted by a haunting, echoing violin song.

Lyf jumped at the noise, as Brian groaned. “What’s that noise?” Lyf asked.

“Sounds like Marius…” Brian said, still half-asleep sounding. “He does this sometimes. ‘M surprised it hasn’t happened sooner. Or, more recently, I guess…” the drumbot snuggled further into the bed. Lyf rubbed their eyes and sat up.

“Is he– why is he playing so late?” Lyfrassir yawned. “And why not in one of the music rooms?”

“‘S probably asleep…” Brian opened one eye, looking up at them. “Jus’ ignore him, he’s fine.”

“Did anyone ever tell you you get incredibly clingy after?”

“Jonny’s the clingiest…” Brian yawned. “But also the hardest to break down… If you don’t like violence as a love language…”

“Hm.” Lyfrassir was about to leave it at that, if Aurora didn’t groan loudly, and several doors slammed open.

“Shut the fuck up Marius!” Gunpowder’s voice yelled from the hall, which only served to make Marius’s mournful song get louder.

Brian heaved a heavy sigh, opening his eyes. “Okay, we should probably see what’s going on. Keep things from escalating too much.”

“As the only responsible two.”

“Ivy’s plenty responsible. Usually.”

“Eh. When she wants to be.”

“But she’s probably not going to wake up.”

“Tim if you don’t get that dumbass to shut the fuck up I swear to Space God–!”

“Okay, we really should go see…” Lyf stood up and Brian rolled out of his bed lazily. The two left the room, exiting into the hallway to observe what was happening. Jonny and Tim were both awake and holding their weapons, seemingly only being held back from killing Marius by Ashes, who was standing in front of them.

“He’s only just gonna get worse if you kill him,” the half-asleep quartermaster grumbled.

Lyfrassir turned and looked towards the not-a-doctor. He was playing loudly, a tune that sounded messy and all-over-the-place, but also… incredibly sad. A deep, unending sense of grief and mourning filled them as they listened to the tune. His eyes were distant and glazy, expression nearly blank, and he was walking very slowly down the hall. The further he got, the louder the music seemed to grow.

“Is– is Marius okay?” Lyfrassir asked. They watched in concern as he continued to play, not reacting to the noise around him.

“Yeah, he gets like this sometimes,” Ashes said. Raphaella exited her room, rubbing her eyes, while The Toy Soldier appeared from wherever it stayed. Aurora groaned loudly. “He’s not usually this loud, though,” Ashes growled. “Maybe wakes a few of us, pretty much never wakes ‘rora up, though.”

“Gets like…?”

“Plays in his sleep,” Brian explained further. “And wanders around. It is rare that Marius sleep walks, admittedly, but he plays in his sleep a lot.”

“…In his sleep?” Lyfrassir raised an eyebrow, turning towards Marius. Something about his demeanor seemed… familiar.

“It Really Is A Shame! You All Need Rest, Because You Are Mostly Biological Beings! Marius Is Not Being Very Considerate, Right Now.” The Toy Soldier pretended to sigh, crossing its arms.

“Yep,” Ashes said, sighing. The music got louder again. “This is an, unfortunately, common situation. And killing him doesn’t work, just makes him play louder and longer.”

Jonny managed to duck away from Ashes, pulling out a knife from seemingly nowhere. “I cannot fucking sleep with his damn racket!” Ashes reached out to grab him by the scruff, but Jonny managed to escape, and scurried over to where Marius was still lazily walking through the hall. “I’m gonna fucking kneecap this mother fucker and move him somewhere where he can’t fucking keep us awake.”

As Jonny went about taking Marius’s kneecaps, Lyf watched as Marius didn’t even notice, only playing that haunting tune. (The Colors hated the noise, and an anger not their own began roiling in their gut, which they promptly shut down and ignored.)

“He’s not asleep,” they said, realization dawning.

“What?” Brian was the only one who responded to them, the others still just irritated at Marius for disrupting their sleep.

“He’s not asleep,” Lyfrassir insisted.

“Yes, you said that, but what does that mean?”

“I… I don’t really know how to describe it? I think he’s explained it to me before but it’s… It’s strange and doesn’t make much sense if you don’t experience it. But he is not asleep.”

“Hm.”

“I’m–”

“If you know how to get him to be quiet and actually get some rest, feel free to try, Lyf,” Brian yawned, before placing a kiss on their cheek. “I’ll be here if you still want to cuddle later.”

“Mhm,” Lyf grinned and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll find you when I get cold.”

Brian stuck his tongue out at them, before returning to his room. Lyf walked over to Jonny and Marius, the violin-playing not-a-baron now sitting limply against the wall, still playing that saddening song. Jonny had successfully acquired a new set of Marius-kneecaps, and was grumbling about his interrupted sleep.

“I can take him back to his room,” Lyf said, “you can go back to having a threesome with Ashes and Gunpowder.”

“Fuck off, Lyf,” Jonny grumbled. Still, he stood and started stomping back to his room. “Just so long as I don’t have to deal with him.”

Lyf sighed, as the other Mechanisms returned to their rooms or the rooms they had been sleeping in. “Marius?” The violinist didn’t respond. Lyfrassir sighed, and scooped him up in a princess hold. They walked back towards Marius’s room. “You’re– Lost, right? That’s what this is, it got too… Loud?” Marius still didn’t respond, but his playing got marginally quieter. Lyf kept talking, on the way to his room. “I– I don’t know how you pulled me out of it, and I know you said it never worked to play music for you. It just pulls you further in, right? I don’t know if talking will help, then, but I really don’t know what else to do. I don’t really understand this.”

Aurora opened Marius’s door, giving a hum, a question mark appearing on a screen.

“It’s fine, Aurora. He’s fine. I– I think, anyway. I’m new to this.”

Aurora creaked again in response.

“You can go back to sleep, we’ll be fine.”

Aurora groaned, but her noises started to quiet and lessen. Lyfrassir sat on Marius’s bed, starting to run a hand through his hair. It was knotted and matted, and Lyf wasn’t sure when the last time he’d brushed it out was. They wrapped their tail around Marius’s waist, clicking their tongue. “I don’t know what it’s like for you, besides what you said. I didn’t even realize what it meant, at first. The colors of the Bifrost, they’re all I see. I hear the call of the Void, it sings with my family's voices, begging me to come join them. Sometimes I don’t even know who or what I am. It’s like a dream. I think I mostly get– Lost when I’m asleep. Because I think it’s my nightmares that trigger it. It’s– it’s strange. I don’t like it. It’s weird to get Lost.”

Lyfrassir blinked as their hair started moving with wind that wasn’t real, the pearlescent stains started glowing. Marius’s song slowed down, head turning a miniscule amount towards the glowing colors. That gave them an idea. They pulled away, reaching behind and undoing the braids that had survived their night with Brian. The colors seemed to glow brighter, catching Marius’s attention, his grief-fueled tune slowly turning into something different, something a bit nicer. Lyf returned to running a hand through his hair.

“Is it the colors? Are colors the opposite of your Music?”

“Hm…” Marius purred quietly, but otherwise didn’t react outwardly much more.

“I think I can grow to like the stains. If it helps. Norns, I really hope you don’t remember that. I’m tired, okay? My filter isn’t working correctly.”

Marius just purred, the music turning to something that resembles a more coherent song, something that sounded a lot like ‘Loki’. Lyfrassir hummed in response, a purr coming from their own throat, seeking to comfort the not-a-doctor. Their purrs sounded completely different, due to how different their vocal chords were structured in comparison to each other and the purrs seeming differing intentions, but Lyf liked to think the purring was somewhat effective to help draw Marius out of his labyrinthine songs. Marius continued to play quietly, staring in utter fascination at the way Lyfrassir’s hair was moving and glowing, colors shifting.

Eventually, the light returned to his eyes and he stopped playing. Marius slumped against Lyf, and his violin disappeared. He stared up at them, confused.

“Ly-yf?” his voice sounded rough, hoarse and gravely. “Wha– what ‘re you doing ‘ere?”

“You were– Lost, I think,” Lyf explained, tightening their tail’s grip on Marius’s waist. “And you were waking everyone up.”

“Oh…” Marius’s eyes fluttered closed. “‘M sorry… ‘S hard to ignore, sometimes… It just takes what it wants…”

“Mm.” Lyfrassir continued running their hand through his hair, and his tail wrapped around them. “I think I get it.”

“Mm… Lyf?”

“Hm?”

“My knees hurt…”

“Yeah, Jonny stole them.”

“Oh… They do that a lot… ‘specially when I wake ‘em up…”

“They seem to relish any excuse to cause violence and harm.”

“‘S cause we’re the Mechanisms,” Marius mumbled, “‘nd violence is how we communicate. ‘S not healthy. As the doctor.”

“You’re not a doctor.”

“Of medicine, at least…”

“Are you going to be okay, Marius?” Lyf asked.

“I’ll be fine,” the not-a-baron replied. “Don’t worry ‘bout me. I think ‘m finally too exhausted to get Lost again.”

“I’m sure Brian wouldn’t mind if I bring you along to cuddle. He seems more open to cuddling just whenever than a lot of you.”

“Yeah, ‘cause it’s Bri, and he’s a touch starved dumbass…”

“You have no room to talk on that front.”

“Mm… Shut up…”

“Do you, though? Want to join me and Brian?”

“That… does sound nice…” Marius yawned. “You’re warm… Bri’s warm… makes a good scratching post, too… Yeah… That sounds nice.”

“Alright.” Lyf picked up the half-asleep violinist, and began heading back to Brian’s room. They bit their lip and swallowed thickly, before saying, “You know, if you ever start getting Lost like that again, I’m just a knock away.”

Marius smiled at that. “Thanks, Lyf…” he fell asleep before they even got to Brian’s room, but woke up comfortably squished between Brian and Lyf some time later. He smiled and snuggled in a bit closer to them, sighing. He could sleep for a little while longer.

[ryololart]

Hospital Troubles

Summary: After Simon crawled out of Mexico and Evan dealing with him.

Warnings: Horrible spanish (im sorry i used google translate), gore description,

I had been bitten by a snake once in my life when I was 14. 

Ethan had gone out with his friends  onto the east side of the highway earlier that day and hadn’t come back in a few hours. I had begged Mason to go look for him but he just handed me his sidearm and told me to go myself if I was so worried. In my house guns were given out like toys. Maybe it was just Texas in the 90s but Papa’s shotgun hung over the fireplace, Mason’s sidearm was always on the table, a deagle I managed to swipe off an officer going around town had its place under my pillow. The cold metal felt secure in my hands.

I got on my old bike that had started to rust from the rain and headed south towards Route 90. My head had been flooded with worry, what if he got taken, he’s hurt, dead. My little brother, he can’t, he’s fine. Out of all of us, he is the most resilient, he would be okay. 

The rocks under my tires sent ripples down my spine as I rode the 30 minutes to the old picnic station in East Sanderson. I nearly drove myself insane for those thirty minutes, pedaling as fast as I could without getting too out of breath. The gun was heavy in my waistband, the metal starting to warm from my body heat was waking me up. The adrenaline was shooting through my body and making my chest feel tight. My muscles were tense ready to react, my eyes on alert, my fingers gripping the handlebars so hard I thought they might turn white and fall off. However, there they were, the four boys and my brother, higher than kites. The sun had just started to go down and the creatures of the nights were coming out. I threw my bike down and grabbed him by his shirt from where he was sitting at the picnic table. The red rage that had been flowing through me exploded in the moment.

“Ethan Richard! Do you know how worried I was, and here you are smoking a fucking joint with these idiots!” My words were laced with venom, but he was my responsibility and here he was putting himself in danger. “If you wanna smoke I don’t give flying fuck! But don’t do it an hour ‘round the trip at dusk! Do you know what's out there ya nitwits? You are lucky I won’t tell ya mothers! Home now!” I let go of Ethan and pointed at his friends, Mitchell, Dighton, and Jose. 

I guess I had been so blind in how upset I was I didn’t watch where I was stepping and my yelling was louder than the rattling. I stepped right on a rattlesnake and he wasn’t happy about that. Got me in the ankle in return, fangs right in the meat. I grabbed the pistol from the back of my pants and fired a shot right at it in panic. Its little head exploded like a firework of red. 

I was swearing up a storm and flipping out, I had seen people get bitten my entire life and some didn’t recover. The boys were higher than the goddamn stratosphere and could barely walk straight and I was panicking. You always let a venom bite bleed out because hopefully it will release the venom. Sucking on it wouldn’t do it no good once it’s there. I managed to get my wits about me by grabbing some rope that had been left at the park and tying all the bikes together. It was nearly dark now, the stars covered by dark looming clouds. We had less than twenty minutes to get back to town before it was completely dark. 

“Ride your fucking bikes and don’t loose the goddamn rope,” I told them and pulled them all along back to town. I had one hand steering and one hand firmly on the gun, eyes peeled on the horizon. It was slow, they could barely feel their peddles to keep going. I felt like I was watching sand fall in an hourglass as the sun faded into the west. The crickets and howling were keeping my thoughts company as we rode. I kept the markers of time in my head as we passed the giant dented rock we called the fallen star, twenty-five, then the broken down truck that has been there forever, twenty, the mile marker, fifteen, the cemetery, ten, the trailer park, five, the clinic. 

I had already started to get dizzy and feel as if I was gonna fall, but I kept peddling, I could fight this. I could do this. We didn’t have any lights in town, it was too expensive, the only thing that lit up the streets were the businesses that were closing. Blood started to drip down my nose. People had started to draw the shades and wind down for the night, and there was a string of six kids, five high as hell, and one panicking and holding her ankle stumbling in the clinic that was closed for the night. Luckily the nurse hadn’t left yet and usher me in the door telling the boys to sit in the lobby, turning the light on for them as their atoms merged with the couch. 

The nurse's name was Lauraine. She had always been a nice woman, about forty then, graying brown hair, tired lines on her face, soft blue eyes that reminded me of a cold stream that I wanted to crawl into. Out of the female role models in my life she was the one I clung to after Mama died. She patched me up, shot me up with anti-venom, and gave me a swat over the head sending me on my way. She did not charge me a dime. Which was nice because I still had a 10k debt to pay her for my mother.

 I had to go get Lucas’s toy wagon and pull the boys back to their homes. I purposely knocked on their parents door to wake them up so that the boys would get in safely, and hopefully never do this again. Kids would be kids but in Texas that will get you killed. 

They were out there in the night for less than an hour. Simon had been out there for a week, barely moving, crawling with his hands to the border, for safety.

 It took him a few days before he would actually look at me. He refused to talk. I would come in and try to make conversation, get him comfortable around normal people again. I’d let him read my reports before sending them to his boss. I think he liked the control. His forms of approval and disapproval were getting a shaking head and a scoff or a rolling of an eye and the paper shoved back in my hands. I flicked him on the forehead and told him to use his words several times but the doctors didn’t like that very much. I spent a lot of time translating for him because he didn’t understand too much Spanish. He picked up a few things here and there but our doctors spoke too difficultly, too many words at once. 

Once they ridded him of his restraints I got him a pen and pad where he tried to stab me, some feral side of him exposing itself.

“Ah-ah, naughty boy,” I hissed, ripping it from his weak hands. “Is that how you treat your host? Hmm?” After that he used it much nicer. It took a bit of coaxing, making sure he felt safe, and that we weren’t gonna hurt him. After what he had gone through, I could understand how he was like a feral dog. No worries, I got a good collar and leash for him. That’s what we are, feral animals just trying to bare teeth instead of biting into flesh. However when it’s time we will draw blood, that is the oldest cycle of the world. Blood for a small amount of peace that never lasts.

First I made sure I was telling him things on my own instead of the doctors coming in and speaking Spanish for me to translate. It was much easier for me to read the reports and tell him myself. Second, I gave him time by himself. We had him on 24/7 watch before but we found the more time he was alone, the better his demeanor was. So at random, unscheduled times he got an hour by himself. He was still being watched on cameras, but I think he felt like a prisoner before, which he wasn’t. Thirdly, I would have shifts in there by myself with him and I would tell him stories. I told him about the time I got bit by the snake and a few others from my childhood that were a bit lighter in nature. 

One time Liana, Marcus, and I broke into Priest Cornell’s house. Found out he was a wannabe rockstar when he was a young adult. He had a guitar, music sheets, a lot of coke, magazines maybe priests shouldn’t have, and other shit that was odd. I got a chuckle out of Simon from that one. It was from deep in his chest, it sounded like a scoff but the slight smirk on his face said otherwise. It was like a treat, to pull one out of him. 

I made it personal because this was. He wasn’t a broken man, his pieces were just a bit shattered. He needed someone to glue them back together again so he could go back to his family. Just like I would have wanted someone to do for me. I tried my best to make the room less sterile, make it a little more homely. Hung up a few pictures, once he wasn’t so unstable I brought in some better blankets, helped him obtain some belongings. 

Lucas had gotten Mono once. Nasty thing, he had kissed some girl at school and she gave it to him. His throat swollen looking like spider bites, bones so achy he couldn’t get out of bed, a blistering fever, and appetite for nothing. I had sat by his bed for a week, cold washcloth on his head, forcing old cans of soup down his gullet. I had been so worried and we were at a time I couldn’t afford to take him to the clinic. I felt helpless.

 That is how I feel with this man in this hospital bed. I knew I had to get him back home. Halcon was the one who had brought him to the hospital. Everyone has to work a shift in town in the doctorate as the border was pretty hostile and the border guards weren’t able to keep it tame enough. He was the one on shift sitting in his Ford Ranger he had bought himself with his second payment. He hadn’t had a family to feed, or a house to pay rent for. Once he got to the base he made it his home, he had no one to go back to anyways. He had wanted that truck for awhile, telling me about it all at bootcamp. He had worked out a deal with the guy who had been selling it in the newspaper to wait to sell it to him when he had the money. God he probably hung the clipping above his bed to look at every night. Since the man had been found by Halcon he was now my unit’s responsibility and I was the Sergeant Master, the highest ranked and responsible for the team and their findings. 

He really didn’t sleep as much as he should have been. He often would wake up thrashing, I would be sitting in my little chair in the corner, working on reports on aircraft fixes I had made that week. Half the time I had Cruz and Dino’s reports to write too because they had a hard time writing in English. He would lurch up, gripping the rails of his bed, sweat dripping down his face, arms shaking. Once his eyes met mine he would take a deep breath and lay back, an arm over his forehead, hiding his face. 

There was a demon in that man's head, plaguing his dreams. Its claws dug itself into his mind, holding on for dear life. Made him do things, act a certain way, worst all of it locked his mouth shut. It was like when you had been traveling for a long time without water, but forced to keep walking, couldn’t stop. You were out of breath, your throat itches and ached for that sweet drink of relief. Yet you still have miles to go to get it. You don’t open your mouth for the hot air as it will only make it worse, you just keep swallowing the little saliva and pray it won’t dry up, but when it does do you accept and fall to your knees and accept the fate the maker had for you? Or do you push through the need and walk, walk for the next day, walk for the day after, and then the next. Whether he had nothing to say or couldn’t conjure up a word, he never spoke. Not once. He would make grunting noises, hums of approval, or a scoff of frustration, but never enough syllables to make a word. 

The doctor would come in to finally take off the bandages on his chest from work they had done on his hook scar. At least I think it was a hook. There was an entrance wound on the backside of his ribs to the front side. It was large leaving a good sized hole behind and the way it pulled up like he had been hanging by it makes my theory further prove itself. When I asked him what it was from and tried to get him to write something he just shook his head at me, his hands would shake with the pen between his fingers. I stopped pressing him for answers after that.

“Hola, ¿cómo estamos hoy?” The doctor pushed the curtain that separated us from the rest of the hospital. Dr. Richard was a short man, tanned skin, dark eyes and hair. His face was lined with wrinkles and tired lines. We had a back corner room next to a window. The walls were a soft beige, the monitors connected to him made soft beeps, and there were a few chairs scattered around from where I had migrated around the room. 

“Hi, how are you today?” I say to Simon without thought, not even looking up from the part I was tinkering with. He raised his hand making a so-so motion and looked away from the doctor. He was not looking forward to this. He was so hesitant towards the doctors. Especially when they brought out their tools, I swear he flinched every time the cool metal of the instruments touched his skin. The fear in his eyes looked like Cargo’s when Mason would yell at him.

“Estamos cambiando los vendajes y comprobando si hay infección en la herida de la costilla. Debería ser rápido. Queremos intentar darle el alta pronto.” The doctor says moving to the opposite side of the gurney to where I was. 

“We are changing the dressings and checking for infection in the rib wound. It should be quick. We want to try to discharge you soon,” I repeat looking up now, setting my project to the side. Simon shakes his head and I know this is gonna be a battle. He had been acting like this for a while. He often would fight the doctors first before letting them do their work. “Mr. Riley don’t fight him, just let him do this and you get to go home soon.” 

“¿Lo sujetarás, Evan?” The doctor asked me to hold him but I knew this was preventing his progress. Each time we forced him through another procedure he would revert back to when we found him. The feral dog that needs cuffs to keep him tame. He was my responsibility and I feel like  I was doing him wrong each time they did this to him. However, what choice did I have?

“no le gustará,” I rolled my eyes knowing this was gonna be a challenge.

“Va a sufrir de cualquier manera, debemos tratar de mantenerlo físicamente sano durante ese tiempo.” He sighed and stood up straight urging me to do the same. I knew he was right, he was gonna suffer either way at least let's make him physically comfortable. I don’t know if I will ever get the full story of what he went through but from his reaction it was bad. I knew what Post Traumatic Stress Disorder looked like. How Ethan flinched whenever someone raised their hands, how Liana and Marcus would turn away from the loud noises on the streets, how Mama would freeze when she heard my loud footsteps or a slamming of a door. I still had flashbacks of my broken door creaking open at night and having the point a the gun under my pillow at a drunk Mason to tell him he was in the wrong room. 

“Hazlo rápido, ha lidiado con suficiente dolor Richard,” I told him to make it quick. “Mr. Riley, he has to change the bandages, it will be quick.” Simon shakes his head at me, eyes glancing back and forth from Dr. Richard and I. I go to touch his hand and he pulls it back quickly, that look returning in those bloodshot eyes. Then I have an idea:

“The first time I went to Mexico I was nine,” I managed to snag his hand in mine and his breath quickens, but his eyes are off the doctor and on me. “My oldest brother, Mason, was a border guard and he has a special mission to go over the border to check a train coming into Texas. He didn’t speak a lick of Spanish and needed me to talk to the conductor to keep the train in place long enough to check the cargo. You see this was an illegal drug run that a cartel had paid my brother to let through and they had to make sure everything was still intact. My brother was a bad man but didn’t have any skills in lying, he was too stupid, and they weren’t supposed to be in Mexico-.” Dr. Richard managed to pull the blankets down and start to cut on the old bandages and Simon was still too focused on me. 

“I remember crossing the border and thinking, well none of this is any different than Texas,” I laugh a little. “It was all still hot and sandy. Only thing which was different is most people only spoke Spanish, and the dirty looks were now directed towards us instead of the other way around. The train stop was about six miles from the border. I had on old tennis sneakers that sole’s were started to rip from the bottom and a toe was poking through the front. My feet ached and blistered but we kept walking. I felt like I was on a mission, my mind racing with thoughts of being a government agent, undercover. I felt so important that day. I was so headstrong I barely even noticed my surroundings and how beautiful it was becoming as we walked away from civilization, down the tracks. It was early morning, the sun just rising, orange light touching all the rocks around us. Lizards sitting on large rocks, soaking up the heat after the cold night. Once we found the train, the boys went right into the cargo, crawling like bugs up the ladder. I knocked on the conductor's window, leading him to sliding the door open. The man was older, graying hair, dark skin, a big scar on the left side of his face and part of his ear missing. I just started talking, asking him where the train was going, what kind of train it was, who he was, what he was doing. Childlike questions. I feel guilty now because he was a kind man, especially to someone who was obviously not Mexican. With my blonde hair and green eyes I was noticeably American to anyone,”  His bandages had been removed, wound cleaned, and new ones applied. He was so focused on me, like an owl his gaze piercing and head tilted to the side. “Mason checked the cargo and it was all there, signaled me with a hooting noise, and headed back home. I talked the entire way home about how cool I was and he called me his little spy. I had never felt so useful, until I watched the train blow up in front of my face as we crossed back into Texas. I learned later the guards had planted bombs to blow up the train and blame it on a different cartel to start a war. Get them more focused on each other than the border. The man was dead, and I never knew asked him his name.”

 I shook my head at the memory. I could still feel the heat on my face from the blast. God my ears are still ringing to this day. This was the first time he didn’t need to be restrained during or after the doctors did work on him. 

[69misato69]

🍭I have arrived. Listen to me very carefully Venus. We got one shot at this. I need you to focus on me. Ajax and Zhongli are dating and they fuck live on stream every Friday. Write this shit down. You are not writing it down. I can see.

Good boy. Now then, fucking on stream was it? Yes. Cam boy show and a wholesome audience. I need them both transgender.

Zhongli isn't there, business meeting or something. I'm not sure, make it up. I trust you.

Ajax announces that he will be alone for the stream and chat is doing their best to keep him entertained. He misses Zhongli after all.

Halfway through the stream, Zhongli joins chat with a cheeky "Without me?"

He is supposed to be busy, so it doesn't cross Ajax's mind that he would be watching. Nevertheless, he is. After he joins it's a whole another form of - putting on a show -

Do not ask me any follow-up questions. Delete this is you refuse. I have a feeling that you won't.

Yours forever and always, my friend. Godspeed.

hi anon you are... insane i love you so very much. ur the only person i have ever seen that is more off the rails than i am. i hope you enjoy this <3

masterlist ✦ archive of our own ✦ twitter

camboys childe and zhongli, zl is unable to participate in their weekly show bc he is out of town so he comes up with another solution. (2k)

c: implied top zl x bottom childe, transmasc childe with top surgery and no bottom surgery, sex toys, overstimulation, voyeurism and exhibitionism

minors DNI please. enjoy !

Childe looks around the room to make sure everything is neat and tidy. It’s silent except for the computer’s fan humming softly. Awfully quiet without Zhongli. 

He hooks the cable to a larger screen and adjusts the camera. The lobby is already almost full, as it always is at least ten minutes before their weekly show. 

Childe clears his throat and takes a deep breath before starting the stream.

“Hi, everyone!” 

ajaxfucker69: hi jaxxx

mrincognitomode: HELLOOO

Chat floods with greetings. The forced smile on Childe’s face soon transforms into a genuine one upon reading the kind wishes, “Ah, good to see you all.”

rickastleyofficial: where lili :( 

The comment causes his eyes to lose their sparkle again. 

“So, right... About that, I have to tell you guys something.” he averts his gaze. 

hydroslime: NO OH MY GOD NO

thisismeta: DONT SAY IT OMG

ajaxfucker69: there is no fuckng way 

Dozens of comments speculate about their break up, already jumping to conclusions and expressing how devastated they are that Childe realizes how he should have probably led on differently.  

“No, no of course not.” he shakes his hands in the air, “It’s just that he had to leave for a trip right after last week’s stream. He was supposed to be coming back today but… Well, some family stuff. It’s a bit complicated. In short, I’m alone today.”

rickastleyofficial: GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK DAMN

zhonglikisser: thank god but everything is ok right? 

“Yes, everything is fine. But it was so last minute that we had no way of announcing it. We can wrap this up and do a longer one next week, maybe. What do you think?” Childe ruffles the back of his hair. He is visibly anxious about gathering all their audience and having to explain the sudden change of plans, but no one seems to mind.  

mrincognitomode: no no hehe go ahead

simphour: fuck yourself (affectionately. i will watch <3)

Childe laughs at the remark, “Alright. No objections? I can’t really do anything that we planned on my own, though. We’ll save those for next week.”

rickastleyofficial: pls just strip and finger urself im so hungry

“How can I say no to such a kind offer?” Childe tosses his shirt aside and slides the underwear off his legs. He pads his back with a pillow and leans on it, facing the camera sideways so that his full body is on display. The light bounces off his strong arms and legs, circles around his soft belly as a soothing breeze hits him between his thighs. 

Childe turns to read the bottom part of the screen, complying with every request. He parts one leg to the side as the other stays bent, hands teasing his own nipples until they’re hardened and sensitive to the touch. 

Soft moans that drive everyone insane and leave them begging for more. He chuckles and slips one hand between his thighs. A rare occurrence where everyone stops typing, only to resume as soon as Childe begins to slide two fingers up and down between his folds. 

He sighs blissfully, secretly sore from viciously fucking himself the whole week. He tries his best to go slow, to work out his aching cunt as it gets wetter with each passing second. 

zhonglikisser: do u miss him ajax ;(

“Oh boy, do I?” Childe hisses as he brushes against his clit, “A week’s just too long.” 

He circles around the sensitive bundle, pressuring every nerve ending to the point that he can’t catch his breath. 

“Fuck—” Childe sighs. He grows weak, legs twitching, voice shaking and hole quivering for more. 

ajaxfucker69: ur so handsome ill cry 

tartalitruther: BIG BOYY 

thisisalsometa: we r here dont worry ajax </3

Childe has a hard time figuring out why, but it’s much better when people are watching. It overwhelms him with pleasure knowing how so many people are drooling behind their screens, eyeing him up and down and swooning over him. 

Silent worship. 

Even better when Zhongli watches him when he’s not allowed to touch. He takes his time slowly working himself out and laughing as Zhongli crumbles. 

He grips his thighs and grunts with every flick of Childe’s wrist until he’s allowed to press his husband against the mattress and slam into him. 

Until they’re both covered in sweat and Childe’s hips are bruised from his grasp and Zhongli’s back is marked with his nails.

Childe occasionally glances at the screen but it gets harder and harder the more he melts into the sheets. The room closes twenty minutes in, so the sound of a new guest is usually never heard after that. Naturally, his eyes widen upon hearing it. 

A small crown symbol that signifies a creator’s account.

Zhongli: Good evening, everyone.

“Huh?” his hand stops moving. 

ajaxfucker69: HUSBAND CAMEO

ilyzhongli: yall get in formation

rickastleyofficial: hi zhongliii (twirls hair) 

“Zhongli? You—came?” Childe can’t believe his eyes. 

Zhongli: Not yet. You first.

godsgayestsoldier: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

bitchless: I CANT FUCJING BREATHE 

rickastleyofficial: goofy ahh

Childe can’t help but laugh. Zhongli is supposed to be busy all week in a house full of his relatives, having excruciatingly long dinners every night that exhaust him into oblivion. It’s only when he’s with family that Childe gets to witness typos in his good night messages. 

Zhongli: Why don’t you spread your legs and show us? I feel like I’m not getting my money’s worth. 

ajaxfucker69: ur so right 

rickastleyofficial: pussy reveal RIGHT NOWWW 

Childe’s heart races, he shakily gets up and sits in front of the camera, spreading his legs. He’s embarrassingly wet now that Zhongli is here. He shifts forward as the chat goes berserk and slides his hand down again. 

Zhongli: Beautiful. 

God, he’s doing it on purpose. 

Childe can’t see his face or hear his voice but it’s so easy to trick himself into thinking that it’s Zhongli touching him. He digs deep with two of his fingers, curling them up against his sweet spot and whimpering at his own touch. 

Tears pool around his eyes as he bites down on his bottom lip. So sensitive and needy, he fights the urge to beg Zhongli to come back and lay him down. To kiss him all over and bury his head between Childe’s legs. 

It drives him insane to think about how Zhongli would be watching him. Is he alone, stroking his cock as he watches Childe — or is he at the family function with headphones on? 

It would be so wrong, with all those people around and his husband moaning in his ear.

Childe hopes it’s that one. He hopes Zhongli is hard under the table, fighting for his life and about to lose his mind. 

Before he realizes he’s already clenching around his own fingers, releasing with a low moan. 

ilyzhongli: TOY TOY TOY

zhonglikisser: the pink oneeee <3333 pls ajax

Childe collapses forward with a grin, “Tsk. So merciless today.” 

He reaches for the drawer with shaky legs, taking out a small vibrator with a remote controller. He settles back down as the chat bubbles over with excitement. 

Childe looks down, holding the device against his clit and turning it on. A squeak escapes his lips at the sensation. 

“Why don’t I take some questions from the audience, and if you like my answers I’ll change the frequency?” he proposes and slides it inside. His walls tighten with the low vibrations caressing his insides. 

rickastleyofficial: be honest did u fap to zhongli pics this week

“No.” a slightly twisted smile takes over Childe’s lips, “I did it to some voice messages, though.” 

Zhongli: Oh?

“While wearing his clothes, maybe. Who knows?” 

rexlapis: id be dying right about now

evenmoremetanow: this is true love everyone shut up

rickastleyofficial: put one on. right fking now 

Childe scrapes himself off the bed, “Well, of course.”

He makes his way to their wardrobe with trembling legs, picking out a soft, light-brown, collared shirt. 

He lays on his side and rests his cheek on his palm, “Might get it a bit dirty though, is that alright Zhongli?”

Zhongli: Paint it white. 

ajaxfucker69: u heard the man 

Childe giggles at the thought, “Ah, I’ve entertained enough requests, don’t I deserve a bit more?”

Zhongli: Agreed. Turn it all the way up.

He’s delighted to see Zhongli grow more invested by each passing minute. Sure, it’s impossible to hear it but his gentle yet demanding orders ring in Childe’s ears. He obliges happily, lower body twitching with the impact. 

“Tell me, chat. If you had a boyfriend this pretty—hah—would you leave him all alone like this?”

ilyzhongli: nooo

mrincognitomode: nuh uh

Childe squirms and aimlessly grips at the sheets. 

“That’s what I—ah—I thought.” 

With every incoming wave he grinds down on the mattress, so full yet hollow at the same time. It has to be Zhongli bending him over, ramming into his wall and filling him up until Childe is sobbing on his cock. 

“Zhongli…” he whimpers desperately without even noticing. 

Begs and pleas spill from his lips for him to return, to have him whatever way he wants to as he unravels and humps the mattress with the vibrator stuffed deep inside.  

Childe on their bed, using their toys in Zhongli’s clothes, moaning for him. 

There is no way he isn’t going insane. 

Childe can’t hold a position anymore, writhing in front of the camera with glossy eyes that make it impossible to read the screen. 

He cums again while gasping for air, drooling all over the collar and staining the skirt of his shirt. The fabric is pressed in between his thighs, soaking up the wetness of his dripping cunt. 

Childe rubs his eyes occasionally to skim the chat, but no one seems to have any intention to stop him. He lets out an unhinged laugh and rests on his back. 

The shirt folds to the other side, exposing his body.

It would be so cruel to rob everyone of the sight, to deprive Zhongli of the waist he loves holding and kissing up at. 

Childe’s back arches, hips pulsating with every orgasm as he tugs at his own hair and teases his nipples. 

He presses his thighs together, turning the vibrations even more violent. His senses are going numb. The computer’s fan, he can’t hear anymore through his clogged ears. Whenever he tries to direct his gaze to the screen, his pupils roll back with pleasure so intense it feels like Childe is going to rip in half. 

Face covered in his own spit and chest glistening with sweat, he palms over his cunt to find it drenched. He leaks all over Zhongli’s shirt, pathetic and so beautiful that no one can even spare half a second to blink. 

Tears stream down Childe’s face as he has no choice but to reach for the remote while shaking through another orgasm. 

Warmth overtakes him. He relaxes onto the bed with a long exhale and closes his eyes—

“My god.”

nomoremeta: u did so well <3

ajaxfucker69: ajax mwahhh  

Childe gains composure and finally opens his eyes to a clearer scene, replying to all comments breathily and bidding everyone farewell. The count on the upper right hand of the screen gradually goes down, until there’s one person left. 

One person that just won’t leave. 

Zhongli: The prettiest. 

“Show’s over, sir. I’m gonna have to ask you to leave the premises.” Childe says playfully. 

Zhongli: Just a few more minutes. 

Childe rolls up into a ball towards the camera and hugs his legs. 

“Zhongli…”

“My love.” he types, already weakened with Childe’s soft, tired voice. 

“I miss you…” he whines. 

There is nothing Zhongli wants more than to hold him in a loving embrace, to revel in his scent with fingers carding through his soft, ginger locks until the morning. 

“I miss you too. So much. Two days, and I’m there. Okay?” he types out with one hand, the other soiled with his own cum, dribbling onto the bed. His hand still hovers, leaving light strokes along his spent cock. Zhongli gazes at the screen affectionately. 

“Did you like it?”

Zhongli: I did. Exquisite as always.

Zhongli: Why don’t I return the favor with a private show?

[fiberglassandflowers]

Hey idk if there’s some master post about mbts but if there is may I please ask where and if not could I perhaps humbly request a description because it sounds cool as FUCK

omg yayy okay so there's not a masterpost as of now (though there is a google doc in the works that will probably be. very big) BUT i will try to give a brief rundown. underneath a readmore 👍

OK SO. IN SUMMARY

MARY BELL TOWNSHIP: more like mary bell CLOWNSHIT ha ha. heavy surveillance like everywhere (including in peoples homes. how fun). it's also got some like radiation stuff going on. all the residents are a lil radiation poisoned But it's mostly fine. also the town moves and i dont know why.

VANNIE OVERTURE: based on suburbia overture. the mayor who is a vampire. major control freak. sucks shit. like most of the reason mary bell is the way it is. permasmile swag. has killed before. hates when people are weird freaks and is actively passive aggressive if not outright aggressive.

TRIP LETWO: based on 2econd 2ight 2eer. world's silliestguy contrarian and infamous public nuisance. deeply tortured individual but shes dealing with it i guess. physically cant leave mary bell township. he has too much goddamn lore

LYDIE LAPLACE: based on laplace's angel. so lame. just deeply lame. killed a guy and got kicked out of office building heaven (laplace's inc. id give this its own section but it doesnt really matter all that much). i dont ever think about it unfortunately im sorry women.

MINA BYRD: based on i/me/myself. very sweet very nice. ladybugpilled socialanxietycel. doesnt have a whole lot going on but she is nice im glad shes there. im gonna have a significant relationships section of this but im saying that shes roommates with lia here bc its not really significant otherwise

WALTER LEE: based on ...well, better than the alternative. worlds first cis father to be a butch lesbian. probably a girl but she doesnt know that. weird nostalgia issues so bad his wife left him.

DOTTY LEE: ten years old. strange little girl but i dont really think about it a lot. not much else to say about her really.

LIA CRATES: based on outliars and hyppocrates. her name is pronounced like lie-uh cray-tees not lee-ah crayts. i have to clear this up because i realized most people were wrong LMAO. a little mean but not so much when you get to know her.

WARREN LEARY: based on blackboxwarrior. actually the worst therapist you will EVER meet. isnt even licensed. you book a session with her and she only talks about herself the entire time. constantly referencing a dark and contradictory past.

MARSHA TILLIS: based on marsha, thankk you for the dialectics. slightly better therapist! still not that good. has the spirit of an old man despite being in his 40s. will begin to psychoanalyze your behavior upon the first thirty seconds of knowing you.

NORMAN LEE: based on love, me normally. guy trying really really hard to be a regular guy. has a loooot of problems that stem from this. hugest people pleaser the world has ever known. a little bit offputting. has hair symbolism :-)

MORTIMER: based on memento mori. doesn't have a last name. worlds silliest grim reaper death thing. works in the death division for laplace's inc. lived a pretty normal life. then it died :-(. more here

FERN O'DYNAMIC: based on thermodynamic lawyer. hates his bitch wife (who is a praying mantis for. unknown reasons? will elaborate). just has a lot of anger inside him and doesnt know how to deal with it so he takes it out on other people. he kind of sucks but he's a neat character.

MIRANDA WRIGHT: the person being sung about in thermodynamic lawyer. bug wife (i can blame anything on radiation). she wasnt always a bug she just kinda did that idk. there's not much about her but she's an etymologist.

COTARD LETWO: based on cotard's solution. she has so many problems oh my gooood. deeply lonely person. fascinated with the macabre. its like coping mechanism that makes you worse. im insane about her writing a basic description is so difficult fkdjsfhsjd

RAMONA MCLAREN: based on red moon + hand me my shovel (though the latter was included later on bc it fit her). worlds most intelligent and stupid single celled organism. patheticswag. absolutely batshit insane. attempting to solve the end of the world.

KUIPER SUNSHINE: based on dr sunshine is dead. uh. i dont really know much about her to be honest SORRY... its really silly though + haver of prophetic dreams that she is NOT transparent about. fucks with people a lot just for funsies

COLIN THESIER: based on cover this song. girl who used to be in a band but got kicked out bc of friend drama. survivor of a toxic codependent queer friendship. trying to be a better person bc she used to suck pretty bad unfortunately. a bit more here

theres like a couple more characters but none of them are really important enough to give their own sections. debbie letwo is trip and cotards mom, laplace is the head of laplace's inc, maude is walter's ex wife who left him (heres the scoop on that).

OK NOTABLE CHARACTER DYNAMICS TIME:

VANNIE/NORMAN: norman has been pretending to be a normal dude this whole time + vannie totally fell for it. normans stuck in this friendship bc hes too much of a people pleaser to break it off even though vannie actively drains him emotionally. also he feels validated by vannie thinking hes normal. its so awful im so insane about their dynamic

VANNIE/TRIP: THEY HAAAATE EACH OTHER. their entire core beliefs are at odds (guy who thinks everyone should do their best to conform vs. guy who loves being a weird freak and doing fuck all). their dynamic is honestly pretty simple in comparison but theyre so petty and stupid its insane. if you put them alone in the same room one of them isnt coming out

TRIP/NORMAN: theyre gay together. there's a weird lore thing about the way relationships are handled in mary bell but long story short theres paperwork that has to be filled out if you want to be registered for one and trip thinks its really funny for xem and norman to constantly break up so they'll have to fill out the paperwork because it fucks with vannie. theyre also kind of awful and tragic

WALTER/DOTTY: that is a father and his daughter. walters trying his best and hes doing well but nothing would have been better than just moving out of mary bell township to raise his child.

WALTER/NORMAN: they’re brothers 👍 not much else to say there but they’re cool

WALTER/MAUDE: already linked a more in-depth explanation of their deal but ill summarize it here. maude thought living in mary bell township was really bad for a child (and it is) but since walter has issues about idealizing his childhood he was like "whaaat well i was raised here and im fine" and they fought about it and once it became clear walter wasnt changing his mind maude figured shed just spare herself from all of it. so she left 💯

WARREN/MARSHA: what if the two worst therapists ever were queerplatonic and violated hipaa together. also what if one of them [marsha] was helping the other [warren] because they're on the run from the law. would that be crazy or what

FERN/MIRANDA: actually awful. they really want to divorce but trip and norman keep clogging up the paperwork so theyre on a waiting list forever. their relationship was really good at one point but its not anymore :-( more info here

NORMAN/FERN: fern haaates norman because of the previously mentioned paperwork debacle but normans ass cant deal with the thought of anyone disliking him so hes just been really trying to get on his good side to no avail. also theyre coworkers so its more relevant

MORTIMER/TRIP: man how do i even summarize this one. due to lore reasons that you can read about in the link provided in trips session they have a super weird dynamic present day. or at least on trips end, mortimer is just super friendly to them and it wigs her out.

TRIP/COTARD: OUGUIGHJ. AOAUYFGDSFHSJ. tragic sibliiings. man i dont even know if i can go into this. go here and here if you want to learn more about them. jesus

COTARD/COLIN: frienndsss :-] classic extrovert forcing themselves into introverts life trope a little bit. they play music together and its great. mina's also in their little group but the two of them are closer

KUIPER/RAMONA: have been described by my friend as being "nonromantic freak4freak" and this is true. theyre working together on the end of the world stuff. they also rope cotard into it but thats lore i havent talked much about yet. go here and here for more info about them.

that might??????? be it?????? if there's more ill update it but thats the general basics i think. thank you for being interested and hopefully reading i greatly appreciate it :-)

[0ystercatcher]

ok now that i have a little time. time to post about my america journey. this ones about restaurants and service work. im sorry in advance but also im not because im objectively Correct.

dear american friends. tipping there is bullshit, retarded, insane, fucked up. restaurant service does not need to be that involved, complicated, annoying or intrusive. yes i understand the us kind of sort of runs on its service economy, yes i understand work is work, yes i understand often its corporate policy and yes i still fucking hated it. there is genuinely no good reason for anyone to be paying 15%+ ON TOP of the actual prices at a restaurant. yes yes i undeerstand the wage issue yes oh all powerful american yes you deserve to be properly compensated for your labors but the way youre also just supposed to accept random customers are the ones who owe you 15%+ MINIMUM (and some places had like an 18% minimum, for real what the fuck) is genuinely crazy to me. im also going to be real min wage in wa for all tipped workers is the normal min wage so you cant even bullshit me w the federal rates or whatever. its a crazy policy. it makes no sense in the vast majority of cases and it makes servers ANNOYING ill get into this also. again yes i understand the reasons people often bring up as to why this is the case but i still simply disagree this is the best way to do this.

also once again sorry. servers are fucking annoying when everyones angling for tips. sorry. i simply do not want to be bothered 5 times while im eating my slop or whatever just to get asked if the food is good or whatever. im eating it just fine brother please just leave me alone. yes im being a cunt yes im getting borderline misanthropic with this but for real i find it crazy, insane, stupid, that people will genuinely respond to this with like. the vaguest arguments about how if you dislike eating out just dont. bc like i dont dislike eating out at all but this particular way of dealing w customers is like. fucking crazy. i want...to just enjoy the meal. this is where i could get into the other thing that deeply annoyed me abt the usa and once again im going to be evil but its the fake nice small talk w cashiers or whatever like look. look. i am not mean in person. i believe treating people who are just doing their jobs in your presence with respect and dignity are absolute necessities and i prommy i am very nice to people when i am consuming products or services. i do in fact, say please and thank you. but bro americans go crazy with it and yes yes corporate policy yes this and that. but oh my god i was sick of it by the end of the trip even if i was also getting better at it. i simply do not think you need to exchange a minimum of 2 unrelated pleasntries to begin any sort of transactional interaction though and again im not opposed to hi, please, thanks, thats obvious and necessary. but to be fucking honest i dont want the beloved talented barista who made me a delicious espresso to ask me if im having a nice day. i dont need it. i dont need to ask it back either this guys just working like what exactly are they gonna say. they dont need to be wasting their time like this. i am there for coffee or whatever the fuck else no offense to them obviously but we all know this is true. so why. why bother. why bother with any of this. the third world does just fine without it. why bother. i think this may have been the thing i disliked the most.

[is1of1]

Transformers

Ok first of all its way too long but ok fine.

Secondly, Transformers would have been way better rated R for violence and cussing.

Ok. Away we go!

Optimus Prime says "An unknown world called Earth" No. An unknown planet in a distant part of the galaxy? sure. Not named. -- I completely forgot about the hacker angle! They take it so seriously! They are at DefCon OSHIT and its srsbsns. -- Shia's family is the worst. The only good part of him and his fam is the fact that Bumblebee is with him. So far. I cant actually remember a lot of details about him, which is telling ofc. -- The Hot Girl going to school with him since the first grade and not recognizing him when they currently have classes together? Please. -- Ooo they said more than meets the eye! -- Ok the way they make fun of President Bush is funny but harmless mostly. "Can you wrangle me up some ding dongs darlin?" Sir you're right there. -- Oh the hackers are catching the Decepticons stealing info. using headphones and audio feedback to detect the hack? I wonder if that is real.

"POTUS MAINFRAME" lol they deserve to be hacked Also Decepticons applies to the Autobots too, they are just 'good'. -- "We must find Ladiesman217" -- God the absolute douchebag of a cop whos asking him about what just happened with Bumblebee. Power Tripping piece of shit. -- The way the Autobots bow and defer to Optimus Prime feels a liiiiittlle too feudal. -- Chihuahua pees on the robot foot. Thats 30 seconds we arent getting back. -- Omg the MOM LOL Mom - "Sam were you masturbating?" Sam - "was I... mastur- ? no mom!" Dad - "Judy.. " Sam - "No, I dont masturbate!" LIES Dad - "Thats not something for you to bring up. Thats a father-and-son thing, OK?" Mom - "We don't have to call it that word if it makes you uncomfortable, we could call it 'Sams happy time' or.. 'my special alone time..' Dad - "stop" Mom - "...with myself. Sam - "Mom!" Mom - "Im sorry its just been a weird night. And ive had a little bit to drink" -- When Secret Goverment Prick calls the chihuahua a Taco Bell Dog it feels really racist. -- Leave Bumblebee alone! -- "What'd they get you for?" "Well, I bought a car... turned out to be an alien robot. Who knew?" -- "Theres only one way to end this war, destroy the cube!" I could be misremembering but dont they destroy the cube? and now theres like 19 movies? -- Megatron would be scarier if he was basically exactly like Optimus Prime except evil. Like in a really nice way being insane and murderous. Has lots of logical precepts that sound reasonable until the result in killing everything. -- Fighting on overpasses and elevated highways is cool and all but the old man in me is like "think of the repairs! how long it would take! just fucking make a hard left or right Optimus and take it off road!" -- Of course the girl who didnt remember Sam at the beginning is an amazing driver because reasons. -- What the fuck Hugo Weaving does Megatrons voice. -- They drop the dead decepticons into the deepest trench in ocean. Ok... but they dont appear to even like encase them in concrete first. Seems like they should? BC WHAT IF!! -- Oh, OP said More Than Meets The Eye again. And Starscream got away. The end.

[selamat-linting]

played terrafirmacraft for a few days. the highs and lows of playing modded minecraft is insane.

i fell to the river and got carried away by the current to a large cave and almost drowned, but i got washed up near the beach and soon find a patch of land abundant with wild crops, rabbits to hunt, and even a little pond of fresh water.

i made my first pottery and then i almost starved to death, but was narrowly saved because i figure out how to crack open a pumpkin at the last minute, using a hammer that i crafted on my first day but havent used yet.

i was on a hunting trip with my supplies all full but then i got lost and had to go home with a meagre amount of extra food but lots of seeds to plant.

so, last game sesh, it seems like i had everything going right. my house is a mess but its under renovation so its fine. i just need to wait for my mud bricks to dry and i can finish it immediately. my inventory is all organized, i have all the equipments to make my first copper. i just need to get some more food for winter and a little bit more copper to make my first pickaxe. i set out of my base, more equipped than i've ever been with my small vessel full of precious ores in hand. i thought i'll be gone for like two days or three and come back fat and fulfilled. i got killed by a sabertooth.

i am now back on my spawn point, far from my base and far from where my hunting supplies are. even if i could find it, i doubt i'll make in it time before my stuff disappears. i swear im going to kill that fucking tiger.

[melancholycatastrophe]

Only Friends Ep. 5 Thoughts

spoilers

not even two minutes in and someone is trying to kill ray, its not looking good out here

nick interrupting the raysand handjob is so wild because sandnick knows that top cheated on mew and they know mew and ray are friends and theyre just not gonna say anything to ray, thats crazy

the raysand and topmew dates are so cute i just know this isn't gonna last

sidenote: that wasn't actually topmew being cute, it was forcebook. the only way i can keep myself sane is by pretending its just forcebook

sand dressed the way i want to dress im going insane he's my favorite kind of boy: guitar player, rock and indie fan, leather jackets, anger issues, homoerotic tension with men - if ray doesn't want him I'll keep him

NOOOO MEW NOT THE GLASSES

top fixing mew's glasses 😭 he's too fine to be such a scumbag

mew's prescription is -5.00, he's just like me fr

am i tripping or is mew now hyperaware of every time top talks to another man because he thinks that they're all ex-hookups or top might hook up with them after? like what was that look when the server gave top the bill?

IS THIS BITCH--? IS NICK CHANGING THE WAY HE DRESSES AND GOING TO THE GYM IN ORDER TO LOOK MORE LIKE TOP AND GET BOSTON'S ATTENTION????? BOY STAND UP PLEASE DONT BE LIKE TOP PLEASE

bostonnick in the pool just reminded me of that one kinnporsche pool scene im sorry i was hoping they would have sex in the pool

also -- diversity win! the lying backstabbing guy who is playing with your feelings and ruining his friendgroup believes in safe sex!

another thing that intrigues me: does boston even like his friends? cuz we've seen all four of them together and having fun, and they look to get along well if you ignore everything happening in the background, but individually? has boston hung out with or just simply had a normal convo with anyone? mew has with ray and cheum, and im starting to believe that boston hates mew for something that happened in the past or is really jealous, but does he hang out ray and cheum just one on one? because at this point it feels like the only person boston talks to is nick, which is.... idk I'm just so curious as to how the raymewbostoncheum friend group came to be

also the fact that he's not even interested in the hostel. the only people we've seen truly working on it are mew and cheum, mew possibly because if it fails he loses his place as top student, idk why but cheum is a business major so she probably has some vested interest in this project. i'm assuming ray is a buisness major because of his dad and even tho it's technically his project - as boston points out - i doubt he wants to work in that field

"I don't want to sleep around anymore. I want to have sex with someone I can talk to and be affectionate with" boston the word you are looking for is boyfriend. you want a boyfriend, and nick is right there (for some reason)

instead of being called only friends, this show should be called "getting cockblocked by all your friends" because this is getting ridiculous. first raysand, then raysand again, then bostonnick, and then raysand again

the way mew wants his friends to be in serious relationships is soo......cute, but also funny that he's over here rooting for his friends meanwhile he keeps top in a situationship like bestie look in the mirror

also i will chew on concrete if boston only dislikes mew because of top oh my god its never that serious over dick

ray please stop talking to that girl omg summer is too pretty to be involved in whatever the fuck you and your friends have going on, give her to me

that concert scene makes me miss brightwin idk

atp I'm gonna assume that every guy who looks at top has fucked him unless proven otherwise cuz this is getting ridiculous

ah fuck....mew has fallen for top..... but anyway this confirms mew is probs demiromantic and demisexual

not the debt collectors 😭 is it really a rich x poor storyline if there's no debt collectors?

sand's mom owns....the go go club....i'm.....oh my god thats why he was there in episode like 2

ray singing sand a love song for his birthday oh be still my beating heart

not mew calling boston to tell him that he's ready to have sex with top 😭 bestie i get that he's your friend with the most sexual experience and you dont want to tell ray cuz he had feelings for you but oh my god why did you tell ton??????

but also "I'm afraid if I don't have sex with Top he'll get bored of me" after seeing so many people check out Top that day.....Mew is finally at a point where he has romantic feelings for Top and its probably for the first time ever and he doesn't want to let him go so he'll have sex with him, he's so real honestly I relate to him a stupid amount

also...okay wait....so is the friendship between bostonmew one-sided or is top truly the reason why their friendship will crumble in the future? cuz mew calls boston about top for reassurance and boston reassures him for some reason....

out of context topmew is cute.....oh their break up is gonna be awful

their first time having sex was so sweet and tender but i know damn well this wont last

ray and his mommy issues back at it again

sand distracting ray from drinking more by sharing personal details about his life....oh......oh....

sand was named after the place his mom and dad had sex oh my god....

ray's mom 🤝 ray

suicidal and alcohol addicts

"Only Cockblocked By Your Friends" the series strikes again!!!

it just hit me that they're eating weed cookies.....

also... "sand, this isnt your usual stuff?" does this mean sand sold ton drugs before or....?

ray keeps saying he and sand aren't dating and its breaking both mine and sand's heart

bostonnick and raysand drinking and partying together doesnt sit right in my heart....somehow someone is gonna say something bad while high

"even if you really like ray, i doubt it would work out between you two" whelp there it is

boston for the love of god shut the fuck up so we can have happy raysand and topmew please stop telling everyone and their mother that ray is in love with mew so that he can move on oh my god please its only episode 5 i need some happy moments between the two couples a little longer please

why is ton airing out all of ray's dirty laundry why is he doing the things that he does he's so messy i love it

well......ray and boston are probably not friends anymore

boston is too fine to be acting like this

now that I'm thinking about it....were boston and ray ever friends or were they just in the same friend group? cuz back in like episode one he was the one who was supposed to take care of ray when he was drunk and didn't so, like....

that last scene with sandray is sad and all but I'm too distracted over the fact that they're sleeping without blankets covering them

WAS THAT RAYMEW FIGHTING IN THE PREVIEW NO I CAN TAKE EVERYTHING BUT RAYMEW FIGHTING STOP DONT DO THIS TO ME