#im either scared that religion is real but only Christians get to heaven | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sensitivegoblin · 7 months ago

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Is there anyone religious in the kink space?

I'm a Christian and I need to vent/get comfort cus I dunno what's wrong with me I'm dissociating so much and have so much anxiety and my head won't stop spinning about things

My dad says it's just anxiety hitting my body after being sick but I wish he could see inside my brain just to make sure I'm scared kinda :(

#trying not to freak out #part of me feels like it could be the weed but I don't really feel high or different rn in fact I kinda need a hit for my back #im either scared that religion is real but only Christians get to heaven #or im scared that religion doesn't exist and everything is just scientific and I'll never see my loved ones again #I really just wanna walk thru life normally and not feeling like I'm this #like this*#it feels like it's a FACT that something bad is gonna happen and in the end I'll be unhappy no matter what #I'm not starting by thinking negative thoughts it hits me physically first that's the scary part #it's like a shell shock of horror I dunno #I'm stuck frozen for days now #it could be my meds it could be the weed but I'm scared that it actually God talking to me but I just want him to be clear and shocking like #like in the movies #I know I'm not a good Christian but I just wanna make people happy but also be happy #I'm scared #I'm background terrified all of the time #I'm also overstimulated by the heat and mess and stuff in our house i with I could just do SOMETHING but it's like a stalemate #I keep going from fear and craziness to feeling almost nothing #fuck I'm so fucked up and it's all my stupid fault with the dumb drugs and whoring myself out #I wish I was a real person and not just a mimicking parrot

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