#im determined to make it tjrougj august wuthout an attempt bc itll b my first aug sunce 2017 whete i HAVENT
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#deciding fuvk it il#kms within the next week#bc im Literally Asking for Help from people without begging for it.#and im twlling people how i feel and no one seems to fuckimg GET IT or they keep . brushing me off#like i feel like im beimg swallowed by a black hole. and iys threatenung to consume me fully#but ita fine right !!!#im not actibely depressed !!! im just suicidal#whats fucked is that i wasnt suicifsl for months n now i am and . no one cares lol#and im tired. sp fucking tired and over feelijg like this#and like i gave to fucking fight for help so i dont feel like this.#and i dont . want killing myself to be the option i have. but . i either jeep downplaying how much pain im in#or no one actually gives a shit enough to like . care.#so its fine.#im determined to make it tjrougj august wuthout an attempt bc itll b my first aug sunce 2017 whete i HAVENT#or 2018#whuchrber it is#but . i am not gonna lie i literally cant keep going anymore#this is a cycle atp and i want out of it bc its no fun i hate wanting to die and not knowinh how to fxi it#like man i was feeling so good for like 5+ months#i went so long without being actibely or passibely suicifal and now its back in full swing anf Angry and trying to destroy me.#i juat hate this.
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