#im deperate here okay?

[queenallu]

I put on a more cute-pastel-like vibe here. Not bad :)

Credit: money_pl252

[dizgreen]

I think I’ve been on here long enough, so it’s about time I talk to y’all about my Grand Theory of Masculinity.

Yes that is what I call it.

Foreword: I’m a millennial, I’m about thirty years old and if there’s one thing that genuinely makes me think “god I hate the new generation” it’s all this bullshit Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson shit about how to be a “real man.” I absolutely despise this narrative that being a man is all about only caring about yourself and forcing others down to build yourself up. I see it corrupting more and more young men every day and I truly dread the point in time that it takes hold enough to bring back toxic masculine fathers and grandfathers and RUINS an entirely new generation of kids.

So I decided to sit down and think about why it bothers me so much. I’m of the belief you can’t reasonably say you disagree with something unless you have some kind of reason or alternative solution. Thus, I’ve boiled down what *I* consider to be the true essence of “what makes you a man”

To start off with, I don’t believe that you need a certain set of genitals to be considered a “real man”, which is why I put such an emphasis on the word “masculinity.” I believe that sorting people according to exclusively their genitals or their preferred identity is a bit archaic, but I DO believe you can sort anyone, regardless or pronouns or genitalia, into specific definitions of masculine or feminine traits and behaviors. I believe in defining those things as two sides of a whole, like a yin-yang, and that it shouldn’t compromise someone’s identity in any way just for displaying or taking pride in those traits.

So, here’s my big definition. Are ya ready?

Safety.

Masculinity, TRUE masculinity, I believe, is defined as when someone has a certain aura that makes you feel safe or protected when you’re around that person.

Now a lot of you that are attracted to masculinity might be disagreeing saying stuff like “oh but I like dangerous men” or “no I like it when someone feels a bit scary” but attraction, which is a totally different aspect that’s specific to you. Even then, the VAST majority of people that say they like “dangerous men” typically mean “I like it when men are dangerous and threatening but treat me with love and care” and THATS SAFETY, BRO.

I believe that the true concept of masculinity has been corrupted overtime by the machinations of insecure and weak men trying to convince others that they’re actually what people want in a man. All the signs are there.

A man should be strong to help you feel protected.

“WELL IM GONNA GET ALL BUFF WITH BIG MUSCLES SO THAT NO ONE WANTS TO MESS WITH ME”

but you also have to show you CAN protect them.

“WELL IM GONNA FREAK OUT AND TRY TO FIGHT EVERYONE THAT LOOKS AT ME WRONG SO NO ONE WOULD MESS WITH ME”

A man should be able to provide for his family so they feel safe and comfortable in their lifestyle.

“WELL IM GONNA WEAR A SUIT AND CONSTANTLY BRAG ABOUT HOW MUCH MONEY I MAKE SO THAT EVERYONE THINKS IM RICH”

you know you actually have to give them attention as well though, right? You can’t JUST provide a paycheck.

“WHATEVER, ILL GET A COOL CAR AND IF THEY GET ANNOYED ABOUT ME NOT SPENDING TIME WITH EM ILL JUST GET A NEW GIRL, ILL TALK ABOUT HOW THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT MONEY ANYWAY!”

A man should be able to be confident in his decisions so that the people around him feel secure and more confident in their own choices.

“OKAY SO WHAT IM GONNA DO IS WALK AROUND AND TELL EVERYONE ELSE TO FUCK OFF AND SAY I DONT CARE ABOUT THEM! THAT WAY PEOPLE WILL BE FOOLED INTO THINKING IM CONFIDENT WHEN IM ACTUALLY DEPERATELY CRAVING THEIR APPROVAL”

When I try think of the most MASCULINE MAN MAN I can possibly think of, you know what the image that comes to mind is? A dad. A slightly overweight dad with a blue collar job and a beard who works his ass off to provide for his family and then comes home exhausted and still finds the time to play a game of catch or wrestle with his kids. I believe that image to be the absolute peak of masculinity.

I truly believe that when people have an attraction to men or women or nonbinaries, they seek certain aspects of masculine or feminine behavior. I believe that when people are attracted to masculine qualities, if you boil down the very core essence of what makes them happy with a masculine partner, you’re going to get “they make me feel safe.”

Again, I’m not saying this is something you need to care about at all or should use to define your gender. This is just my analysis boiling down what I think went wrong which led to this bullshit idea that a real man needs to walk around and demean others and ignore his family and only care about himself while disregarding everyone around him.

I think if we use this one little core tenant as the base idea of what to consider “masculinity”, it could really help the men, women, and nb’s that are seeking a goal or ideal to strive for in what kind of person they want to be.

Sorry for the long post but, TL;DR:

Masculinity is when you make someone feel safe in your presence. NOT when you ignore or demean others around you in an attempt to look bigger.

So Fuck off, sigma bitches

[goldencherryhazz]

LATE NIGHT TALKING

A/n: and absolute bop! Can’t wait to hear the studio version! Here’s a little something that includes, grapes, matching tattoos, The Notebook, hot tubs, hitties and a load of giggles and cuddles. This is soo random but I hope you like it, notes reblogs and feedback would be much appreciated <3

No warnings just fluff and a few suggestive themes.

‘Harry you’re getting grapes all over the floor’ you scowl at him not wanting grape juices all over your carpets, but when he tries to catch another grape in his mouth and nearly falls off the sofa in effort to catch it you can’t help but burst out laughing at your silly boyfriend.

‘Just one more go, gonna get it in this time’ you shake your head because he had said that about 6 times already. He concentrates on the task at hand, then throwing the fruit up in the air before it lands straight in his mouth with a popping sound.

‘Yessssss’ he punches the air dramatically at his achievement.

‘ Well done’ you clap sarcastically not very happy that is was 12.30 am and you were picking stray grapes up off of the floor, when you could have been watching a film or just…just anything except that.

‘M’sorry let me help ya baby’ he gets on his hands and knees right next to you picking up the small gapes in his hand, his hips bumping into yours every soo often making you chuckle.

When you’ve done you you both take the remnants of grapes to put in the kitchen bin ‘H are we crazy, it’s nearly 1 am and we are still wide awake’

‘Probably darling, we maybe shouldn’t of had those coffees at the cafe after dinner earlier’

‘I guess so, they were really good though’

‘I’ll give you that baby, and besides I get to spend more time with my favourite human’

‘Aww you’re cute H’ you walk to him and wrap your arms around his middle, and he wraps his arms around your shoulders gently swaying you both side to side.

‘What should we do now?’ He asks softly in the small space between you two.

‘Hmm’ you look as though you are concentration racking your brain before coming up with a summative conclusion.

Well firstly I think you should give me a kissy and then we should go and put a rom-com on the telly, but it has to be in that order’ you specify making him chuckle.

‘Deperate for my kisses now are we darling’

‘I wouldn’t go as far as desperate’ you counter his statement going out of your way to not fuel his ego.

‘Hey, take that back you love my kisses’ he pouts down at you.

‘Im joking baby, of course I am’ you give in leaning up to press your lips to his and he instantly kisses you back, the action instantly reminding you of the lyrics ‘kiss in the kitchen, like it’s a dance floor’ making you smile into the kiss, this then gives Harry the perfect opportunity to deepen the kiss by letting his tongue explore your mouth, and you have to suppress the moan that was threatening to fall from you mouth.

He pulls away after a few minutes and many kisses later, ‘you still haven’t admitted that you love my kisses’ he pries for you to say the words that would satisfy his ego.

‘I love your kisses baby’ you shake you head smirking, knowing that he wouldn’t have let you get away with it.

‘Thankyou, now should we go and put a film on and get snuggly upstairs’ he suggests.

‘Yeah that sounds like a good plan, do you want any snacks’ you say into his chest still having not moved out of his embrace.

‘Think I’m okay for now darling, why don’t you get everything ready upstairs and I’ll get us a drink’

‘Okay thanks H, don’t forget to lock the front door and turn the lights off’ you remind him.

Don’t worry I won’t darling’ he assures you and with that you skip upstairs, and when you get to the bedroom you turn in the fairly lights that seemed to adorn every surface of your room, you had to say that you had a little obsession and wouldn’t even think twice about buying them when you saw them in a store. You get some extra blankets and light a scented candle, and flick on the TV choosing a film quickly which happened to be ‘the notebook’ that you had starting watching the other night for the millionth time and you knew that it would probably become background noise anyway.

When Harry finally makes it upstairs with the two drinks in his hand trying not to spill them, his tongue stuck out in concentration he can’t help but look at you in awe of how pretty you look with the lights hitting your skin making it look like what he can only describe as honey gold.

‘Careful H’ you warn.

‘Its not my fault you look soo dam good’ he protests and you can’t help but laugh as he passes you your drink and then puts his down on the nightstand.

He then dives onto the bed from a standstill nearly landing on top of you ‘ahhhh H’ you shout.

Once he stills on the bed he turns his head towards you, ‘hiya baby’. He asks says sweetly.

‘Hi H’ you say turning on your side to face him, stroking your fingers through his curls.

‘What do you want to do tomorrow, well today’ you correct yourself.

‘Not sure, we could go and get breakfast if you want at that little bistro that you like’

‘The one with the really good avocado toast’ he practically drools at the though of it.

‘Yeah that one, and we could then see what Sarah and Mitch are doing and do something with them and the baby’

‘Yeah we could, that would be nice, feel like I barely spend anytime with them outside of music or touring’

‘That’s not your fault H, your just a very busy person, they know and they love you no matter what, just like I do’

The crease inbetween his eyebrows softens at your words ‘m’too hot’ he quickly announces before sitting up and whipping his t-shirt off and throwing it god knows where on the floor.

He lays back down and you can’t help but admire his bare torso and the lights glistening off of his skin and tattoos and you find you hand trailing from the top of his chest down to his abs and you do not miss the fact that his eyes stay glued to your hand as it moved .

‘Do regret any of the tattoos you have’ you ask randomly.

And he sticks his arms up the air as off to inspect them ‘not sure really I like all of them they’ve just become apart of me, think I would look weird without them, like I did when I filmed don’t worry darling and they covered them all up’

‘I could barely recognise you without them to be honest’ you chuckle.

What about the word big on your big toe’

‘That one is pretty stupid’ he agrees.

‘You know what we should do’ you wait for him to try and guess.

‘I’m not sure, what should we do baby’ he says in a questioning tone.

‘We should get matching tattoos’

‘What would we get’

‘I was thinking cute little fishes, because I adore you’ you refer to the adore you music video.

‘And I adore you baby, and how that mind of yours works, that would be soo cute’

‘I know, so should we?’

‘I’m all down for that darling, gonna love matching with you’ he leans down to press a kiss to you lips sealing the deal.

You both turn your attention back to the film happy with your little agreement, and its the scene where Allie and Noah are kissing in the rain.

‘I wanna kiss you in the rain’ he pipes up again.

‘Why, it’s just like normal kissing but a bit… wetter’ you cringe at your choice of words.

‘A bit wetter, oh it definitely would be’ he laughs finding a double meaning in your words.

‘Oh my god Harold’ you facepalm, knowing that you led yourself straight into that one.

‘That gives me an idea actually’ he points his index finger into the air.

‘Oh no, what now’

‘Don’t worry it’s not a bad one, think you might like it’

‘Okay go on’ you prompt him to carry on with his idea already intrigued.

‘I think we should get a hot tub, and put it on the deck in the garden’

‘Oh now we are talking, imagine how relaxing that would be, we could practically go in it whenever we wanted’ you say not even having to be convinced by him.

‘Knew you’d want to, know you love it when we stay at a hotel with one, have to practically drag you out of it at the end of the night’

‘Hm we can start looking online, find some shops to look in aswell at some point’

‘You know what would be the best think about it, we can go in it, naked’ he points about in excitement.

‘H, you are unbelievable, is that the reason you want one’

‘Well I’m not going to lie and say that I haven’t imagined you naked in a hot tub an unhealthy amount of times’

‘You’ve got such a dirty mind Harry’

‘Stop complaining, you love it really’

And you do, you don’t admit that to him out loud but you know that he can practically read you like a book by now. You focus back to the tv and the ending credits have started rolling and you have gotten considerably more sleepy not what it was nearing 2am.

You shift your self above H, and he lies flat on his back knowing what you were silently asking for, and so then you place your head on his chest laying your arm across it aswell before hooking you leg over his.

‘That’s better, your titties make the perfect pillows baby’ you say dreamily into his chest, you hand focusing on brushing his swallow tattoo back and forth.

‘I don’t have titties’ he takes fake offence knowing that you are only trying to wind him up.

‘Then how do you explain these then, they are the perfect size, just saying.’ You press a kiss to his skin just where you head lay.

‘What ever you say darling’ he gives up, huffing out in defeat.

‘I love you baby’ you say sweetly.

‘I love you too… I suppose’

‘Hey that’s not very nice’ you give a look of fake offence.

‘M’only joking, course I love you, love you more than life itself’ he says and it makes your heart melt.

‘That’s impossible, because I love you more’ you protest.

‘Nope, can’t ever happen’ he argues the invisible measurement of how much he loves you.

You can’t find anything clever to say so the only other option was to kiss him, hoping the power behind it would show him the enormity of your love for him.

You pull away after a couple of minutes, getting lost in each other’s lips and you fall into a serene silence but you think of something you need to say to him, you just hope he hadn’t fallen asleep because you couldn’t quite see his face when yours was tucked into his chest.

‘H, baby thankyou’ you say breaking the silence in the room.

‘What on earth for?’ He say bewildered.

‘Jus…just being able to talk about random shit with you till the early hours of the morning, I don’t know it just makes me really happy’ you smile widely at hun.

‘That always my aim baby, to make you happy, you don’t need to thank me for it, that why I’m here’ he smiled back his heart going all gooey at your admittance.

‘I do though’

‘You make me the happiest person in the world by just being you darling’ he says truthfully his fingers carding through your hair.

‘H, you’re gonna make me cry’

‘Don’t cry, tryna make you happy’ he says in fake aggression as he places his hands on your sides tickling you, and you break out into fits of giggles.

‘H,stop im gonna pee’ you manage to get out breathlessly.

‘Sorry darling, don’t really want to be sleeping in you pee’ he removes his hands opting to stroke your sides up and down instead.

When you calm down you can’t help but let out a yawn, probably the hundredth one in the past hour.

‘Why don’t you go to sleep baby’ he suggests noticing how droopy your eyes had gotten.

‘Mhhh okay’ you give not battle, making yourself comfy on his chest again, sleep now aching to take over you.

His hand finds your cheek where his thumb grazes ove the soft skin, ‘close your eyes darling, I’m here, I’ve got you’ he reassures.

‘I love you H’ you sleeping say.

‘I love you to baby, hope you dream of me’ he sings songs.

You let out a sleepy laugh before wrapping yourself even more closely to his body, letting sleep take over you, Harry can’t help but watch you in this peaceful state still stroking your cheek before gently pressing a kiss to you forehead.

Harry tries to get to sleep after realising that is was last 2am now, he closed his eyes and sleep does not find him even after a good five minutes, he thinks that his love for your late night talking had emancipated his brain into a florry of thoughts, and that’s when he realised that the real reason was, the fact he just couldn’t get you off of his mind. He could complain, but knew that he wouldn’t want it any other way.

[alltoolewis]

Can you write one when Landos girl gets really ill for the first time? She tries to hide it and feels embarrassed for throwing up but he's there for her through every second of it. You're an unbelievable writer!

Omg thank you so much! That means the world to me 🌍💙

-----

You tried your best to be quite, sneaking off when he is playing his ps4 or waiting for him to be busy for you to run the toilet to throw your guts up. It's not that you thought that he would judge you! He's a sweetheart! However you knew how busy he was currently with the 2nd half of the season coming up and the results of the last race still playing on his mind, you didn't want to be a burden to him.... but no matter how hard you tried to act normal he somehow knew you were lying. Watching you come back into the room with a blush washed on your face and eyes still watering after vomiting.

"Right missus..." lando sighed, putting his remote control down as you walked back into the after your seventh visit to the bathroom "you gonna tell me whats going on?"

You knew he would clock on eventually, obviously not making it secretive enough for your liking.

"I feel so sick.." you whispered, tears finally falling down your cheeks as you get pulled into Lando's warm chest.

"I know baby, i know" he sighs tucking your hair behind your ear as he carefully feels your forehead, instantly feeling how clammy you were..

"Okay gorgeous, how about we get you out of this hoodie and get you into bed eh?"

Not having enough energy to talk, you nod your head pushing it deper into his neck.

"You couldn't make a spy baby.." lando chuckled while gently tucking you into the warmth of your bed, after changing you out of your thick hoodie and changing you into one of his old tees.

However as soon as he tucked you fully in you ripped off the covers running into the bathroom

"Hey.. its okay baby I'm here" lando whispers as he kneels down next to you pulling your hair back while rubbing your back...

"Im so sorry" you sigh leaning into Lando as he continues to stroke your hair

"Don't apologise bubs... im here.. you don't need to apologise I've got you"

------

My requests are now open for all drivers & footballers.... ✨

[cloudystevie]

14, 15, & 25 with Andy? (Is it weird that I’ve gotten comfortable off of anon and I’m lowkey proud of myself lmao)

andy barber x reader

prompts: "i am your daddy." & "my dick isn't that big, you can handle it." & "why don't you come here and kiss it then."

warnings: a pouty reader, daddy kink, slight degradation? begging, and a rushed ending because i suck aksjs

notes: not at all baby!! im proud of you too!! muah!!

you watched andy from across the kitchen island with a pout, you don’t really know why you were pouting. andy hadn’t done anything, in fact he made you breakfast and now lunch but you had just woke up in a mood.

andy had his back to you as he finished cleaning up the dishes, “i can tell you’re pouting baby.” you huffed crossing your arms over you chest only pouting harder, “stop pouting princess.”

a smile made its way onto your face as you gave him a cheeky reply, “why don’t you come here and kiss it then.” he laughed, wiping his hands on the nearby kitchen towel, before striding over to you, spinning your stool around and caging you in with his buff arms, his close proximity making your heart rate pick up. “if you wanted my attention all you had to do was ask baby.”

you huffed and fisted his shirt in your hands, trying to pull him closer, making him laugh heartily before connecting his lips to yours just like you had asked. you whimpered into his mouth when he bit your bottom lip lightly, running his tongue over it to soothe the sting. he groaned when you wrapped your legs around his waist, tugging him closer to you and pressing his crotch into yours. he pulled away making you whine but he gently shushed you, running his palms up and down you’re thighs making you gasp quietly.

“who’s your daddy baby?” he questioned gruffly, hands moving closer to where you were dripping with need. 

“you are daddy, you are.”

“that’s right, i am your daddy, that’s why your gonna be a good girl and take me aren’t you?” 

you nodded your head deperately and he laughed, picking you up and placing you on the cold counter top and you winced slightly when your barely covered ass made contact with it. 

andy lifted your shirt up, revealing your bare sticky cunt. he let out a groan at the sight of your quivering hole. just to fuck with you, he blew cold air onto your cunt. laughing at how your dirty little pussy clenched around nothing.

he ran his fingers up and down your folds, “can you say please pretty girl?”

you gasped and rolled your hips against his hand, desperate for friction “please daddy, please please please!”

he smirked at how easy it was to reduce you to nothing but a desperate pathetic little mess. he unbuckled his belt, pulling himself out of his slacks before running his cock up and down your folds. you moaned and whimpered as his thick cock nudged your clit, you clutched onto his arms, “please daddy i need it so bad!”

“okay baby, okay i’m right here.” he thrusted himself inside you slowly, and he really couldn’t help the heavy pride that settled on his shoulders when your legs shook around his waist.

you pressed your hand to his toned abdomen in an attempt to get him to slow down, but you both knew that’s not really what you wanted.

“what happened? you said you needed my cock and now you’re pushing me away? my cock isn’t that big, you can handle it.”

you writhed under him as he began to pound into you, wrapping his massive arm around your back to keep you in place for him. he wanted to reach all your sweet spots and he cooed mockingly at you when he did, “oh that’s the spot isn’t it? you like it when i go like this?”

and he repeated his movement, making you moan and scream into the room. he rubbed your clit with two of his thick fingers, with precision and determination. andy’s goal was to make you scream and cum all over his cock, and he sure as hell was gonna get there.

(he didn’t stop at just one orgasm though, he fucked you on the kitchen counter and then carried you to the shower to clean up. but in reality he just pressed you against the glass to pound into you from behind. and one last time on your warm comfy bed, but he was slow and soft this time, kissing your ring finger that was shining with a diamond, lacing your fingers with his as he gently coaxed you to fall over the edge.)

[deluxedolans]

okay but imagine you’re like a cashier at hollister or something and ethan comes get you for your break and then your fifteen minutes over because he decided to fuck you in his car🤤

hi love! thank you for being so patient :))) this lowkey turned into like a blurb and i’m so sorry it took this long 🤦🏻‍♀️ thank you for sending this in and i hope you’re having a fab day/night wherever you are! 💙

as a waitress all i’ve DREAMED about is having ethan just happen to come into my restaurant and hAPPEN to have me wait on him and happen to ask for my number.

this ask out here making me live my customer service fantasy. (sorry this had a very loose connection to your ask but i had to share).

warning: cheesey smut and unrealistic car sex

you’re folding clothes, watching the clock as you wait to go into the break room to eat your lunch.

you’re halfway through folding a shirt when someone with a deep, southern drawl comes up behind you, startling you from your daydreams, “excuse me, ma’am, you know where i can get some damn service around here?”

you immediately whip around, stuttering an apology when you’re met with ethan’s cheeky smile, a massive grin overtaking his face at your reaction.

relieved a customer isn’t there to attack you, you release a huge sigh, “i fuckin’ hate you,” you growl, lightly smacking him in the chest.

“what? somethin’ wrong, little lady?” he continues, chuckling as he pokes your side.

“yeah, that accent. who’re you supposed to be, woody?” you smirk.

“alright, stop roasting me. go get your shit.”

you return from the break room with your phone to follow ethan out of the store, waving at a coworker as you go.

“hey babe, got something for us in my car. know you’ve been craving it lately.”

your eyes light up, “really?! is it a snack?”

ethan’s eyes sparkle with mischief, “you could call it that.”

your lips purse in thought. lately you’d been addicted to flavor blasted gold fish, so maybe it was that. or maybe it was fruit snacks—you two had been loving those lately, too.

once the doors are unlocked and the two of your slide into your respective seats, ethan pulls you into his lap, his lips meeting yours hungrily.

dazed, you kiss back, your tongue tracing his bottom lip begging for entrance. as his mouth opens he greedily slips his hands under your shirt, brushing your soft skin. the kisses become more and more heated, ethan’s hardness growing beneath you as grind on him in response.

you two are deep into your make out session when you hear your stomach growl, reminding you of ethan’s surprise.

your chest heaving, you pull away. “wait, what’s the surprise? didn’t you say you had food waiting for me or something?”

ethan’s chest heaves too as he attempts to catch his breath, lips swollen and cherry red. a smirk painted on his lip, ethan murmurs, “i didn’t say it was food. i just said you’d been craving it s’all.” his lips attach themselves to your neck at your confused expression, sucking a bit on your skin.

“well, then what is it?” you are breathless. ethans dick keeps growing in his pants and the more you’re all over him, the wetter you get.

with a shit-eating grin, ethan takes your hand in his, guiding it down his body until your smaller hand is resting on his hard-on. “you’re looking at it.”

you bust out laughing, your head falling against his chest as the two of you crack up.

tears stream down your face as you choke out, “you’re such a fucking idiot.” ethan can’t stop laughing as you smack his chest.

“i was ready for fucking goldfish!”

“oh please, don’t act like this is such a burden for you. like you don’t want me to fuck you—.”

“watch your mouth, pretty boy, or i’m walking out of this car and leaving you with your own cravings,” you sass, your lips meeting his ear.

ethan feels goosebumps prick up on his arms as you shift in his lap. it’s moments like this where he becomes aware of how deep in love he is with you; the intimacy mixed in with humor, swollen lips and your beautiful smile is what makes his sweaty palms, racing heart and the idea of a ring in the back of his mind that much more prominent.

“you’d never leave me,” ethan husks. internally, ethan constantly prays that you never leave him, his insecurity occasionally plaguing him as he realizes that you are way too good for him; however, the love for him that shines through in your eyes is a constant reassurance—reassurance that you love him almost as much as he loves you.

you roll your eyes, “don’t expose me like this.” you whisper, leaning in to kiss him briefly, his body shaking with a laugh.

you begin to grind on him again and ethan lets out a grunt, his own hips raising up meet yours.

“take off your fuckin’ pants.” his tone is stern yet whiney as his hands dig into your hips to pull you down against him. you giggle, leaning back to slip your leggings down your legs as ethan shimmies his sweatpants down his thick thighs. you lean forward when ethan pushes the seat all the way back, giving you two as much room as the jeep can provide.

ethan’s index and middle finger dip into your wet folds spreading your wetness around and teasing your clit. you squeak with surprise as your thighs jolt with pleasure. you can’t help but lean back a bit to give him more access.

as your head lawls over to the side, eyes half lidded, you catch sight of the clock, cringing at the time. “only got a half an hour break, e, we’ve got 20 minutes.” ethan’s automatically huffing a bit in frustration, head falling back against the seat.

“don’t you pout. you’re the one who picked now to fuck.”

ethan’s eyes shut in bliss as he sticks his fingers into his mouth, sucking your juices off the digits. “don’t want you to go,” he whines, his hands grabbing your ass in his hands before delivering a hard smack.

you blush, “well, i’m here now, lemme take care of you.” you lower yourself to sit on his thighs, taking his dick in your hand as you rub his member up and down your folds in anticipation.

“come on, pretty girl, sit on me. need you now.” ethan’s deperation for your warmth and your touch becomes evident as his hips arch up as you tease him. usually, you’d draw it out a little more, but with 17 minutes left on the clock, you needed to work quickly.

“im sittin’, im sittin’. so needy for me,” you whisper as you lower yourself onto him.

“always need—, holy shit,” ethan groans, his hands squeezing your ass in his grasp as your tight walls sink down around him.

you gasp for breath as you slowly but surely make your way to bottoming out, pacing yourself due to his thickness. at the feeling of your ass against his balls, you both let out a deep sigh simultaneously, giggling in unison.

“told you you needed this.” ethans voice is cocky and taunting as he looks at you with loopy eyes. he’s practically high on you right now and can barely keep his eyes open due to the euphoria your pussy brings him.

your eyes are shut tight as you adjust around him, your walls clenching. “yeah, yeah, whatever. like your dick wasn’t hard for me as soon as you walked into hollister.” as you tease him, your hips shift, grinding a bit to generate some friction.

ethans eyes flutter shut, his jaw clenching. “you could have a bag over your head and i’d still be ready to dick you down, angel.” ethan then grabs your hips and thrusts upward, effectively knocking the breath out of you.

ethan’s hips continue to roll upwards as you lean forward against his chest, your body quickly feeling boneless from the pleasure. “you like that, y/n? you like when i fuck you this hard? can’t even sit up. tell me how good you feel, baby, hmm?” ethan’s thrust are deep, but slow, his hips pulling back completely to make sure the tip is the only thing inside you before swiftly pushing back in, bottoming out every time.

your eyes are in the back of your head by this point, your head leaning against his beefy shoulder. it is unreal how well ethan knows your body, how well he knows what you crave. ethan dolan has been a deadly combination for you from the get-go; his quick-wit, dirty words, incredible stroke-game combined with his tender touch are how you knew he is your endgame. even after all of the time you’ve spent together, his ability to work your body and know all your favorite things to get you to cum as fast as possible still make your heart swell with love and your body quake with pleasure.

at your lack of response, ethan pinches your hip, his mouth raising to your ear. “won’t touch your clit til you talk. gotta use your words, c’mon.” ethans left hand moves from your ass to below your belly button, thumbs pressing into your lower stomach to feel how deep he is in your guts.

your eyes pop open as you roll your head to the side, the two of you making eye contact through your half lidded gazes. “feels s’good, e, i love it, i love it, i love it,” you chant as he plants his feet into the ground for a few moments, drilling you, your ass jiggling from the force.

ethan chuckles at your words, his hand sliding down your stomach and towards your sensitive nub, “good girl, s’what i thought. you gonna keep being a good girl for me? wanna ride my dick like i know you can? gonna make yourself cum on my cock?” ethans rattling off questions as he stops moving, his dick as deep inside of you as possible, your breath stolen from your lungs.

“yesssss, e, love riding you. wanna be a good girl.” your head falls back as you take your time propping yourself up, arms on his shoulders as you prepare yourself to bounce on his cock.

ethans jaw clenches as he takes in your appearance; your scoop neck top has ridden down a bit to reveal your flushed chest, your cheeks red and rosey while your eyes are screwed shut in bliss. he stares at you for several seconds to commit this sight to memory; his own perfect angel, made just for him.

as soon as you begin grinding, moving up and down, ethan places his thumb between your two moving bodies to rub your clit. as usual, as soon as he touches you, your body can’t help but to react, jolting towards him and breaking your rhythm. you crave ethans touch so much your body literally can’t help but respond to it.

“uh uh, baby, gotta keep going. keep bouncing on my dick. you can do it, you can handle it. be my good girl,” he remarks. you nod, taking a moment to collect yourself before sitting back up fully and resuming your movements.

the sound of skin slapping on skin gets even louder as your ass smacks against his thighs, your heat dripping in wetness the deeper ethan goes and the more his fingers work you.

“you like when i play with your pussy, gorgeous? like my fingers all over you?”

“mmm, fuckin’ love it. you do it so goooood,” you moan, your speed increasing as you feel your legs start to shake, the knot in your stomach tightening.

“yeah? you gonna come for me? gonna cum—.”

you can’t help but interrupt ethan in the middle of his dirty talk, “yes, yes, yes! feels too good, e, don’t stop, please!” your legs feel more and more fatigued but getting to your high provides you with an adrenaline rush to power through the slight burn in your thighs.

ethan can’t help but break into a smile at you interrupting him, his ego increasing tenfold. “let go for me, babe, come on,” ethan grabs onto your hip with one hand, once again planting his feet firmly onto the car floor as he fucks up into you frantically, his finger rubbing quick and harsh over your clit.

once again, your head falls onto his shoulder as you become overwhelmed with pleasure. “come on, y/n, head up. look at me, you can’t come til i see those eyes.” ethan’s voice takes on a softer tone, his hand cupping your cheek softly so he can watch you come undone. his thumb rubs the apple of your cheek as he murmurs encouragement, your hot breath intermingling. “there we go, angel, open your eyes for me.” your eyes slowly peels themselves open, and ethan smiles warmly, your beauty captivating him and making his heart thud. “so pretty for me like this.” ethans’ voice is smooth as silk as he delivers a particularly hard thrust that has you cumming, your eyes half open and your toes curling as you ride it out.

“ethan, ethan, e! i—i can’t, so good—m’cumming.” you spit out whatever words come to mind as your body releases itself, ethan fucking himself up into you even harder. ethans can feel himself getting closer to his peak as soon as he feels your walls get impossibly tight around him, his legs stiffening in anticipation.

“so pretty for me when you cum, baby.” ethan’s always quick to compliment you as you come down, his love for you often overflowing in those moments.

as soon as your orgasm is over, you’re immediately starting back up with filthy words, edging ethan towards his own. “s’your turn now, baby. gonna cum deep inside? love it when you do that. come on, e, fuck me harder, wanna feel you in my guts, yeah?” you’re firing off all of his favorite lines, his jaw clenching like a vice as you hop on his dick, driving him closer and closer to the edge.

“such a good girl, y/n, you’re riding my cock so good.”

“always make me feel so good, e, love riding your dick, love you,” as ethan thrusts harder you start to gasp, his thrusts hitting you deeper and deeper.

“fuck, i’m cumming, i’m cumming—.” ethan pulls out quickly to release on your stomach, eyes fluttering open to watch his cum paint your soft skin.

as ethan comes down from his peak, his face is pink and his breathing is heavy, eyes shutting as soon as you run your fingers through his damp and dark locks. once your fingers start to tickle his beard, though, his eyes shoot open, a goofy smile gracing his face.

you smile back, rolling your eyes. “what are you smiling at?”

“nothin’. you’re just the shit, that’s all.”

you can’t help but giggle, “you tryna inflate my ego?”

“maybe...or, i just love you a lot,” he shrugs, facing tinting with a blush at his open admission.

“i love you too.” your hands softly trace every inch of his face, memorizing his freckles, moles, stubble; everything that makes him...him.

“but don’t worry, i’ve got something that’ll humble you real quick.” ethan reaches over into the glove compartment to grab some napkins, cleaning your stomach of his mess.

you lift yourself off of ethan to lean back against the steering wheel in preparation to redress yourself. “oh christ, what is it?”

“you forgot my clock’s 10 minutes fast; you’re fifteen minutes past your break.” ethan is already leaning over to grab your leggings off the floor of the passenger side, laughing as your face pales.

“oh my—you asshole! why didn’t you say anything?!” you’re slapping his chest as he cackles, but you can’t help but giggle a bit at the fact that you just fucked your boyfriend for so long that you are now late for work.

“gotta satisfy those cravings!” ethan retorts with a quirked eyebrow.

you respond by slapping giving his shoulder a slight shove as the two of you cackle. then, it’s a race for the two of you to pull on your pants to rush back into the store, brainstorming excuses as to why you were late considering you’d never even left the premises.

[julianmakesmydickhard]

uncomfortably deep and personal questions

questions here

————

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

thankfully, me and my mom are super close.... we don’t talk about my dad tho

02: Who’s the last person you said “i love you” too?

man, i tell everyone that i love them. i truly love everyone that shows even the slightest bit of kindness towards me

03: Do you regret anything?

yes,

04: Are you insecure?

oh yea. part of it is my introverted, soft spoken personality, and part of it is just how negatively i see myself oop

05: What is your relationship status?

single, unfortunately lol

06: How do you want to die?

painlessly. the pain that comes with death is what scares me the most i think

07: When did you last eat?

lunch!! i had a bomb ass colombian dish,, man do my people know how cook good food

08: Played any sports?

does show choir count?? aggressive dancing with aggressive singing??

09: Do you bite your nails?

nope

10: When was your last physical fight?

i know i say that i want to slap people sometimes, but i’ve never actually done it

11: Do you like someone?

y’all, im always attracted to someone sksksk

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

yup

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

yes, but we don’t talk about him

14: Do you miss someone?

oh god yes...

15: Have any pets?

yes!! i have one lil doggie

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

i’m very tired lol. it’s like 11pm which is v late for me since i have 7am classes

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

nope, bathrooms are gross

18: Are you scared of spiders?

yes, have you seen them??

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

yes, imagine all the things you could change or prevent

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

honestly, it’s been a while, i don’t really remember

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

i’m gonna go see a play that one of my friends is starring in on saturday and then i’m gonna celebrate my birthday with my doggo on sunday

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

ahh, this is such a difficult question. i want to give my kids the childhood that i never got. but what happens if by some circumstance, i give them the childhood i had, and negatively impact their life through it?

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

i just have my ears pierced

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

english and art! math and science are my worst. i guess i function best when i’m able to use the creative and imaginative side of me whereas i fail when logic and reason come into play

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

yes yes yes and yes

26: What are you craving right now?

blueberries

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

no, never

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

yes

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

no. unless something changed in their heart and they, for some reason, felt bad for treating me so badly, and decided to weep, no

30: What’s irritating you right now?

so many things ahhh,, why do i have to be so introverted? why am i so deperate to find love, when it keeps biting me in the butt?.why can’t i make friends as easily as other people?

31: Does somebody love you?

honestly, i don’t think anyone does, maybe only my mother?

32: What is your favourite color?

auburn

33: Do you have trust issues?

oh god i wish i did. i wish i was able to keep people at a distance. i let people in and basically ask them to use my secrets, my insecurities, my whatever, to break me. and then the cycle goes on and on

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

i dreamt about me meeting billie eilish a couple of days ago. it was v nice

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

i don’t know lol, there’s not a lot of people around to see me cry i guess

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

yea, it’s not good i know

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

no, but it’s definitely not the worst, and i’m thankful for that

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

i don’t remember, but i do know that i was v late to the game

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

god no

51: Favourite food?

colombian food, thai food, japanese food

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

i want to believe this, but sometimes shitty things happen and i’m like wow, there’s literally no benefit or reason to why this happened except to make me feel like shit

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

kissed my doggo goodnight

54: Is cheating ever okay?

if you’re my friend, i’m just gonna say that even if you’ve cheated on someone before, i don’t see you as less of a person or a friend. people make mistakes, and it’s also part of who i am: someone who tried to look past the bad and see the good, ahhh i don’t know how to explain this the right way but i hope you understand my pov. anyways, i’ve been cheated on before and it sucked balls. so no, i don’t think it’s ever ok in a relationship. but i also don’t think that it’s something that should affect your friendship with someone. i think cheating is something that needs to be dealt with among the cheater and the cheated and shouldn’t bleed into your friendship with a random, uninvolved person. but you can totally disagree with me and that’s fine!! everyone is subject to their own opinion based on their own experiences and personalities etc.

55: Are you mean?

i don’t think so!! but then again, i can’t really be the judge of that lol. i try my hardest to be the friend that i’ve always wanted, if that makes sense. i try to be kind, and supportive, and positive, and there for them, etc.

56: How many people have you fist fought?

no one, ive never gotten into a physical fight

57: Do you believe in true love?

it’s not that i believe in true love, it’s that i hope and pray for it. i hope that one day i’ll find it

58: Favourite weather?

cold, cloudy, people walking around in big, fluffy jackets and scarves

59: Do you like the snow?

yes! i saw snow for the first time in my life a couple of weeks ago!

60: Do you wanna get married?

ahhhh,, my parents set a really bad example for good marriage. my parents’ marriage taught me that men can change over time. and that once they’re safe in the bounds of marriage, theyll stop their act, get tired of you, and act like a totally new person. and that... scares me. i don’t want a husband like my dad and i’m so afraid that the same situation will happen to me

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

yes, names like baby, sweetheart, love, honey etc. make my heart weak

62: What makes you happy?

real friends, tight hugs, platonic cuddling, romantic cuddling, acts of service, uplifting words, hand holding, forehead kisses, soft intimacy, need i go on?

63: Would you change your name?

i wold ditch my last name.. can you guess why? i’d love if my middle name became my last name, legally

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

romantically? yea

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

nothing, cuz that kind of stuff doesn’t happen to me

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

no. i try my hardest to only let my friends see the happy side of me. i don’t like burdening them with all the bad emotions i sometimes feel. my complete self would be if i shared ALL of my emotions, the bad as well as the good. but i think it’s better this way, they would most definitely get annoyed after a little bit of time

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

probably my friend tino

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

i don’t remember,, it’s been a long time since i’ve actually talks about truly deep subjects with someone personally,,

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

i want to believe it. i want to believe that i’ll one day find the person of my dreams. the person that fits so perfectly with me and is just so perfect ahhh

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

i don’t know, i’m selfish when it comes to dying. death scares me

[tee-writes]

Daniel: Daniel never thought it would come to this. He knew of course that it was always a possibility. When the world changed, and the New Founders took over the country, they'd chopped it up and started to rule it as almost fudeal lords. Daniel had just the luck to be the son of one of these first. His father had been a cruel and decisive man, even before he managed to put his mother into an early grave. Daniel had wanted nothing to do with him or their family legacy. He'd done everything he could to divorce himself from it, persuing a medical career, despite how it did 'fit a man of his station'. Of course, when it came down to the alliance with a neighboring lordship, Daniel found that the little freedom he'd managed to get for himself was just an illusion. The new laws of this land stated that he had to marry as his father saw fit, and he'd tried to run, but hadn't quite been able to do it. And as much as he was opposed to being more or less sold off to the highest bidder for his land, it was slightly better than completely losing his life. And so here he was, in a strange place, dressed in a nicer suit than he'd ever cared to wear, ready to marry a woman he'd never laid eyes on. His father looked on and let out an annoyed grunt. "Come on, boy, the ceremony is about to begin.

Daisy: Daisy was not ready for this day. She was poked with pins and sized. She had to be on a really strict diet. She had been on this strict diet for two weeks. She could only have soup and bananas and nothing more. Your husband doesnt want a fat bride. She was starving! She did eat a donut like some freaked out homeless dog under the table before they sized her in the dress. She was not use to being fit in such tight clothes. She loved shopping and looking pretty, but with a cheeseburger! Daisy's parents were all a glee with this. "He's handsome." Her mom said. "Sure." She said and drank her water. Which she could only have. She was a size 2 at besst, but it wasnt a size 0. She just wanted to get this over with. She had no idea why they added padding to her already large breast. The dress was a bit tight. One the grooms side picked for her to wear. This would make everythign better. "And tonight you must make a baby." Someone said a little too happy. "Ha, sure." She said and let out a burp. They told her that she needed to line up and get ready to go. "He has a very big mansion, you will love it.. And you are allowed prissy." Prissy was Daisy's fat white flat nosed cat. Accoring to the mom, the cat was already being transported there. She saw the grooms day come in and looked her over. He pointed out she needed more hip padding. She rolled her eyes as they stuffed more stuff in her to look more full figured. "Ok." someone announced. "Time to go!"

Daisy: https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1283/2...

Daniel: Daniel couldn't think of any time he had been this uncomfortable. He may have looked better than he ever had, his usually messy hair neatly slicked back, the tux he was wearing was impecably tailored. He should be at least a little happy. This large estate was his now that he was doing the right thing and doing his duty as his father's son. But he couldn't really find joy in it. He missed his more pauper life of a doctor, helping the less fortunate. Here, he was standing up in front of a large crowd of people he didn't know, and his father, grinning cruelly. Daniel looked up when the music started to play, and his future bride started to walk down the asile. He was shocked at first glance. Even from a distance, she was clearly the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, shocking red hair and an a perfect hourglass figure, large breasts and a trim waist and Daniel felt terrified for all different kinds of reasons. There was no way she was getting the good side of the deal. He was older than she was, he could feel it, and he knew he wasn't really...attractive. He pursed his lips and tried to offer her a small smile as she reached the alter and he took her hand.

Daisy: She was not use to walking in heels and tried her best to walk one foot in front of the other. She hear her mom squeal. She coudln't see his face at first. She finally saw him and could see he looked a bit lot? Did he not like what he saw? What if he wa gay? She knew it would be really awkward making babies with a gay male. He was handsome in a messy way. She stopped at the alter and gave him a weird half smile. She stopped and handed off her flowers as the wedding started. She reached out to take his hand. She felt bad for him as well as herself HE didnt get to know her, this was a big deal in his life too. She felt her soft hands in his and felt like crying. This was so unfair, but hopefully they could be friends?

Daniel: Daniel felt his breath catch just seeing her up close. She was a true vision, even more lovely than she looked far away. He found himself licking his lips a little in anticipation, and he squeezed her hand gently, trying to reassure her. He leaned in just a little and whispered to her before the ceremony began. "It's nice to meet you," he whispered. "I promise I'll do what I can to make this okay for you."

Daisy: Daisy listen to his voice. He was nice so far. She had read deperate house wives tale of marrying a night mare. Daisy could fight for herself, but she had no idea who she was about to marry. They were suppoer to have marital sex tonight in a big honey room suite overlooking the ocean. She was worried about being a mom in the future, although nannies would help. Still.. She never knew who this man was. He could be violent. "Me too. " She said after his words. She liked how kind his eyes were. She turned to look at the preacher. She started to feel her heart race as the pray was read.

Daniel: Daniel gave her the hint of a smile and turned his attention to the priest, who started to go through the ceremony. He felt like maybe his hand was getting sweaty, but he was afraid to let her go too. This whole thing was so surreal. It came to the exchance of rings and reciting vows, and he did so, stumbling a little over the words as he fit the ring on her finger.

Daisy: Her hand shook as he put the ringon her finger. She had been locked leg and almost fell over. The bride maid told her to bend her knees. So she did. She had so many eye on her and she just watned to run away, the waist trimmer was making it hard to breath. Surely, this man didnt mind she was a size 2? Was he really into a stick figure? The vows came and she recited them. This was going to be her husband real soon.She wondered what he felt. When it came to the Ido. She froze. "I..." She said. She heard someone whisper say do. "I accept." She finally said,and heard a groan beside her that belong to her mom

Daniel: Daniel could see that Daisy, that was her name he'd just said it, and it was still hard to beleive he was marrying her right now, was looking more and more distressed. She must be disappointed. God knows he would be if he had to be marrying himself. But instead of being upset when she said I accept instead of I do, Daniel just laughed a little and smiled at her. He said "I do" faithfully though and then was reaching over to carefully lift the veil completely away from her face. He heard the priest announce them as man and wife and felt the blood rushing in his ears. He gave Daisy a small smile and did as the priest asked, leaning in to kiss her lips lightly.

Daisy: She was nervous when he lean in. She tilted her head back. She wasnt that big on touching people she didnt know. She kissed him awkward and turned away. It wasnt that she disliekd him, she just didnt want to kiss in front of all these people. She also was having a hard time breathing int his waist trimmer. She turned to face everyone. A big fake smile on her face. She took one step down, and fainted right off the five other steps. Her bride maid ran over. "It' the dress, it's too tight and she didnt bend her knees!"

Daniel: Daniel hadn't really been expecting a lot from the kiss, but he still felt a little awkward and bad about it, when she turned away so quickly. It really was going a lot worse than he expected. But he turned out to the crowd as he was supposed to, and lifted her hand, announcing them as a couple in a way. He didn't expect her to just keel over like that, tumbling to the ground in her beautiful white dress. He was on his knees immediately, shaking her lightly and trying to get her to stand up. His father notified to men to come pick her up, taking his new wife into a back room and laying her down on an empy table. "If her dress is too tight, we have to get her out of it," he said, and sighed, waiting outside the room after he was pushed out so the brides maids could attend to her.

Daisy: Daisy felt so foolish when she woke up and was handed water. She felt her dress coming undone. "Wait, I need it for the reception." they told her they were just going to remove the waist trim. "Then he'll think im fat." She said dramatically, even though she wasnt. Right now she was light headed and hungry, and was given a banana. She ate it, not tasting it since it was all she was ever allowed to eat. They told her husband to come back to her. She sat up. "Hey.. I don't always just faint." She said a bit shy like. "I'm Daisy... "

Daniel: Daniel started pacing a little bit nervously outside the door. Honestly he just wanted to be standing next to her, knowing there was someone there that was as anxious and scared as he was. He felt people around him chatting and congratulating him and nodded along with it, most of them strangers, making him feel more disconnected. He was finally allowed to come back and gave Daisy a small smile. "Hi," he sad and ducked his head, reaching out to shake her hand, feeling foolish about it. "I'm Daniel. I'm uh. I'm sure this isn't what you had in mind for your life. So I guess I'm sorry. About that part. But I promise I'm a good guy. I'm not going to do anything to hurt you."

Daisy: She smiled. She loved his awkwardness. She was just glad she could breath again. Even if it made her look less thin. "I am sorry as well." She said. She sipped on water before setting the drink down. She was allowed to eat half her plate at the wedding dinner and she was ready for that. Daniel's family had booked italian catering for the wedding dinner. She was ready for that. "I mean we are both allowed to have mistresses." She teased. The joke didnt go as well as she hoped. "Sorr." She smiled. "I am ok, do we need to get going?"l

Daniel: Daniel smiled, glad that Daisy seemed a little more together now, and was smiling. He hoped at least that they would be able to be friends, if nothing else. It was pretty telling that there might not be anything more than that since she was already talking about mistresses. He laughed, awkwardly. "Right. So at least you have that," he said and pat her hand. He stood and offered her his arm. "Yeah, we should meet the adoring crowds of people I don't know."

Daisy: She liked his voice and eyes. She liked how gentle he was. She had heard about his father, how cruel he could be. He took money from people to gain control. Still he was powerfula nd peopel respected him. Maybe it was an act with daniel, but he had to kee her wits. "You have that too. "she wondered if she was his type. It would be so weird in a couple of hours when they were suppose to be having sex. could she pull it off. "I'll try not to faint again." She teased.

Daniel: Daniel laughed and shook his head. "I don't think I'll be...uh...doing that. I think having one lady to try and keep happy will be enough for me," he said and smirked, taking her hand and kissing the back of it softly. "Thanks," he said and laughed as they made their way into the reception hall. "I'll be sure to catch you next time," he promised her, and led her to her chair, pulling it back for her.

Daisy: Daisy just looked at the sie of his face. He was so kind. So dreamy. She didnt expect it and was scared it was just a show. His dad was a prick and looked her over like she was some sex doll he wanted for his son."Thank you." She said and cleared her throat. A crowd of peopel outside the church blwoing buddles and rose pedals, as doves were to be released. Daisy was nervous before the doors open. "I dont do well in crowds." She confessed to her stranger new husband.

Daniel: Daniel always felt slightly uncomfortable in large crowds and did what he could to shy away from them. He swallowed back his anxiety as much as possible, but he could feel his father's lecherous eyes all over them and it gave him pause. Still, he forced a smile and clapped when the doves were released and laughed. "Me either," he told her as they sat down. "Honestly I'm glad we're having wine and food so I have something to do with my hands and maybe people won't want to talk when they're eating."

Daisy: "One could only hope." She looped her arm with his and walked out smiling. She liked how sweet he was and reserved. She was ready for the food. She would try not to eat like a hungry dog, but couldnt help it if it happened. No, no she could. She was more excited about eating a real meal than being married. She got int he limo. They were handed wine. She didnt really know what to talk about with Daniel. She sipped her drink and looked out the window.

Daniel: Daniel was glad that at least it was only them in the limo, even though now that they were sort of alone, he didn't feel like he knew what to do. He took his wine and took a long sip of it, sighing just a little. "So we could...get to know each other a little. What do you like to do? I was training to be a doctor. A pretty good one. Before all this happened."

Daisy: She looked at him. "I was a yoga instructor and in martial arts. I also paint. No where near a doctor. What sort of one? A general one?" She asked. She had such bad anxiety and this was like a nerve wrecking first date. She finished her wine on her banaa filled stomach, her stomach letting out a loud obnnioux groan.

Daniel: Daniel looked over at her a smile on his face. "That sound really amazing though," he said, and couldn't help looking down over her body. How could he not? She was the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen, of course she'd do something like yoga and karate with it. She must be so strong too... Daniel blinked, flushed and looked away, his breath catching a little in his throat. "Y-yes," he managed. "A little surgery too, but mostly just...helping people," he said and then laughed when he heard her stomach growl. He looked around and saw they had a bowl of fresh strawberries to go with their wine on the car trip. He offered some to her. "Just until we get there."

Daisy: Daisy looked at him. He was so sweet she just couldnt relaly belive this was him. too good to be true, liked helping people. She smiled and took a strawberry. "I cant really dance.' She said. "Not like i should.. I know we will be wanted to dance and thank you." She took a bite. She could imagine having sex with him tonight, it wouldnt be so bad. Right? She found herself on the third strawberry and stopped. Lukcy for her they were there. "I guess we are here."

Daniel: Daniel laughed a little. "I'm surprised. You do yoga, but you don't dance?" he said. "Maybe you'd be surprised that I do. I was trained when I was younger. My mother thought it would be good for me to learn." He fell silent as the car came to a stop and slipped out first from the other side, so he could run around and open the door for her. He took her hand again and gave her a smile. "Well, lets get through this,"he said and laughed. "Smiles on."

Daisy: "I dance, but not slow dance. I guess you can lead them." She said and got out of the limo. She was half ready to go abck to the hotel suite. They could at least be a bit more comfortbale, although knowing what they set up, she would have to wear something sexy and tight to bed. Heaven forbid she breath with her size 2 self. She followed the red carpet into the big fancy reception room. There was a water fountain with a swan made out of ice. There was hanging tea lights and a large white wedding cake. It was gorgeous in here.

Daisy: http://alejandravita.com/wp-content/uplo...

Daniel: The reception hall was beautiful and way too extravagant at the same time. Daniel was a little blown away by it. It seemed too much, but he knew that his father was showing off a little too, throwing everything behind this to make their part of the country look far better than it truly was. We dine while the people starve, he thought darkly. He greeted a few people...way too many people on their way in. Everyone seemed to want to talk to them and Daniel jsut said a few words before moving on, trying to pull Daisy with him.

Daisy: Daisy didnt know hald these people. There people wer more for Daniel and Daniels' father. She knew her smal handful of friend who were not giving her any clue in what they thought of Dan. She was glad he kept her close. Photos came first. And there would be so many. All she wanted was the food she smelled and saw being set up in the buffet line. She licked her lips but stood by his side like an obeident wife. The phtotographer was tehre with a list of people who needed to be in the photos

Daniel: Daniel had hoped the could get to some food, but no, there were too many of his father's friends to hobnob with, and the list of photos seemed so incredibly long. He put a hand around Daisy's waist and smiled through all of them, though his smile was waning by the time the photos were done. "We're going to start dinner now," he said, hoping that they would just take it as an order and let them actually eat.

Daisy: She was ready for dinner and felt like she might faint again from hunger. She had not eaten in two days. She lean against him and let him lead her to the table. She was told she needed some solo photos and looked at her husband to help. "Later." She said. She just wanted to sit down, she could smell the food. "We are both so hungry." She didnt know if he was, but she was.

Daniel: Daniel was glad that it seemed to work, and they were allowed to go to the tables. He could feel Daisy sort of leaning against him and held her, helping her over to her chair. "Yes, starving, could we get some of those appetizers over here?" he asked, pouring her some water from a pitcher on the table and handing it to her. Then he passed her some bread when it arrived, smiling a little.

Daisy: She grabbed the bread and tore it in half. She ate abit bite and groaned with happiness. She ate the entire roll. Sh wanted another one. She smiled a big cheek full of food at Daniel. "Sorry." She said when salads were put in front of them. Toasts were going on, people saying stuff like "we wish you a lifetime of happiness " And some weird guy name ralph saying somethin about having a good night tonight. She ate the salad and nodded with cheek full of food. She ignored her moms eyes telling her to stop eating like that

Daniel: Daniel couldn't help but let out a small laugh when Daisy groaned about the roll. She was so cute, and he was starting to see that she was way more down to earth than he thought at first. She was gorgeous but didn't seem to let it go to her head. He slipped a couple extra rolls to her too, a smrik on his lips. He just nodded along to the toasts, eating his own salad. He could see her mother looking over and smiled at her, after a second, shoving more food in his mouth so he matched Daisy with her full cheeks.

Daisy: She looked over to see him eating like the caveman she felt. She giggled and took a napkin to wipe his cheek. She lean in to kiss his cheek and everyone cheered. It seem to be going ok. She was so glad when they had a choice between lasagna or seafood fettuchini. She said both. Everyone laughed but her mom. She shrugged and looked at Daniel when they took his order

Daniel: Daniel was glad to at least see Daisy giggling. She looked even more gorgeous when she was laughing. He was surprised when she kissed his cheek, and he felt a flush climb on his cheeks. Daniel followed Daisy's lead and had both too, shrugging. When people start chattering he said a little louder, "It's a party! And I expect all of you to treat it that way. At least two slices of cake each!"

Daisy: She was having fun. She ate her meal and turned to him. She fed him a bite of shirmp alfredo. She ate her entire plate of pasta and half of the other before feeling a little better. "I promise I dont always pig out. I had to have a diet for a month. This is the most meal I had in a long time." She told him in whispers against his ear.

Daniel: Daniel chuckled and went with it when she fed him a bite of shirm alfredo, a grin on his lips. She was much more fun than Daniel anticipated. He hoped this was for good and not just because they both had enough wine to get a little loopy. "I'm not worried," he said and laughed. "I want you to enjoy it," he whispered back. "Because everything else is awkward, at least the food is good." He winked at her and had another sip of wine.

Daisy: She smiled. It was time for the dance. She got up and took his hand as she ran down to dance. She removed her heels, kicking them off in her path before turnig around. A few people gasped she would do that. She turned to Daniel. "Hey." SHe said and wrapped her arms around his neck. "At least one thing I can say, is I didnt get a ugly guy. I was so scared of that or hed have a bad smell." She smiled. "What do you think of me? Hopefully it's not that I eat to omuch or am not slim enough."

Daniel: Daniel had been so worried earlier, but this seemed almost okay. He could definitely see him and Dasiy at least becoming friends. And really, that was more than he thought he'd get out of this. He smiled as they went out to the dance floor and smiled, rocking with her from side to side. He laughed and then shook his head when she said he wasn't ugly. "Still not really a prize either," he said but smiled anyway. "No, God not at all," he said and looked into her eyes though he felt a little shy. "When you walked into the chapel I knew you were the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. You're almost intimidatingly beautiful."

Daisy joined the chat 16 seconds ago

Daisy: She blushed. No guy had ever said beautifuk Just hot or bangable. It was nice to be beautiful "Thank you." She said and swayed with him. She was glad they could be maybe friends. She knew friends who had to reproduce, but still friendly. He could have a woman or man of his dreams later. "You are not at all ugly, dorky ish, but not ugly.. I stepped on your toes twice... I'm glad I'm not wearing heels."

Daniel: "You're welcome," Daniel said, laughing just a little. He had his hand on the small of her back and linked the fingers of his free hand with hers. "I barely noticed," he said when she pointed out that she was stepping on his toes. "Thanks. Dorkyish is actually kind of a compliment," he said. He licked his lips, looking down at her. He know they were expected to have kids, and fast. And they'd probably be best to start trying tonight. It really wouldn't be a problem for him. She was so beautiful, and he loved how her body felt against his. "So are you...how are you feeling? About all this?"

Daisy: She shrugged "I dunno yet. It happen so fast . I didnt know I was suppose to marry someone until my mom told mer two days ago. I thought it was a joke." Dan's father had picked her. The man came over for dinner to talk to her about it. It wasnt a choice. "I still dont know about all this. I didnt have my whole life to prepare" She said. "I think maybe you deserved someone who had"

Daniel: Daniel nodded and sighed a little. "It was a pretty big shock to me too. I didn't think my father was even considering it, he just came home a few days ago and said I was getting married." He nodded. "I'm sorry. You know if I could change it and let you have your own life right now...I'd do it for you."

Daisy: "I didnt have much of a life. I was dating someone whow as bad for me anyway." She whispered. She saw her mom looking at her, happy they looked ok. "We werent in love. It was all sexual for him." She confessed. "Sorry." She blushed. "I dont understand why you father picked me. We arent some upper east side family, just well known." She said. "My dad only wanted to start something great, and the school for the blinde was his first baby, I am sure you didnt want me to give you a lesson of my life." She felt someone ask to cut in She knew they had more time to get to know each other. It was Daniel's aunt wanting to dance, while she was being taken by her brother.

Daniel: Daniel was saddened to hear that Daisy was dating though, knowing she must have had to give up on that relationship. "I'm sorry," he found himself saying, even if she said they were bad. "I wish...well, after we get settled, you can persue whatever you want." He flushed when she said it was all sexual and laughed a little. "I don't know. He has his own reasons, I guess." He reached up and touched her cheek lightly. "I do want to know everything about you," he said and then smiled. "Okay, well, i guess I'll meet up with you later," he said and chuckled, being swept off by his aunt. He kept his eyes on Daisy though, and his aunt smiled. "I'm glad to see you aren't gay like everyone said you were," she said, supposedly a whisper, but loud enough for too many people to hear.

Daisy: She smiled and hated to part from him. She felt like she could talk to him for hours, although, she probably shouldnt have mention the sex with her ex. She knew they needed to do it sometime soon, and looing him, she could see tht it wouldnt be so bad. She talked to her brother a bit, then daned with daniel's dad, who was really pervy. Touching her lowe waist and running his hand up her curve. she pulled away, smiled poliete and went over to her husbamd. "We should cut the cake?" She said witha please help me look.

Daniel: Daniel didn't really think that there would be so many women that wanted to dance with him. His family members and then Daisy's mother who he was sure was trying to figure out if he had good genetics for childern by the way she was looking at him. He didn't like seeing his father dance with Daisy though and excused himself as soon as he saw it happening. He pulled her away quickly and whispered an apology into her ear as he took her towards the cake. "Sorry, he's...you won't have to see him much, I won't allow it."

Daisy: "Thanks. That was weird. I am suppose to be his daughter." She felt so relieved that Dan would take protection over her. She went to smile as tehy went to the cake, not showing that she felt weird now. She got the knife and cut the first piece She ut the small bit on the plate, and turned to face him. She picked up the small piece and held it to his lips to eat.

Daniel: Daniel felt a little bit of anger start to rise up inside of him, but he did his best to keep it pushed down. He hated his father more than anyone, and prayed he'd drink himself to death sooner rather than later. "I'm sorry," he said again, and took a deep breath to keep his anger under control. He shook it off and forced a smile as they got to the cake, hearing the cameras clicking and feeling the flashes, but his eyes completely on her. He grabbed a slice of cake too and held it to her lips, rubbing the frosting over her nose before taking a bite.

Daisy: She could see he was stresed out. After they had cake she hoped they could leave. She wanted to go back and just be around her stranger husband. She had a lot to get to know from him. She ate her slice of cake beside her husband and some of his cake he didnt seem to want. "Is it over soon?" She whispered agianst his ear.

Daniel: "I hope so," he leaned over to whisper to her. "But I think now we can just decide to leave. Everyone will be happy we're going to go start working on heirs," he said offhand, because a few people had mentioned it while they were dancing. Then he flushed. "I mean, not that we have to. I'm just saying...that's what everyone's talking about." He flushed. "We don't have to."

Daisy joined the chat

Daisy: She blushed and looked away when he brought up making heirs. "Well, we better go get started then." she teased back and winked at him. She said bye to a few thousand people it seemed, she wouldnt remember half of anyones name. SHe shook his dad's hand. He kissed her hand. She removed her hand and frowned a little before smiling. She turned to take Daniels hand. "Honey , are you ready to go?"

Daniel: Daniel felt really stupid for mentioning it at all, and he still felt the flush on his cheeks, bright and hot. "I'm sorry," he said softly, still embarassed that he'd mentioned it at all. But he was glad she didn't seem to upset. He took her hand and started to go through the crowds, saying byes and taking what felt like another thousand photos. He was grateful to finally get back to the car and pull Daisy into it, breathing a sigh of relief when the limo pulled away. "I hope we never have to see half of those people again," he said and smiled over at her.

Daisy: She smiled glad for that. She undid a couple buttons on the back of her dress and exhaulded, relived to breath a bit more better. The hotel was not far, a block away. It was a gorgeous hotel. She was in awe of it. She got out of the limo. She walked beside him, not saying much since this was like hey we jsut met, we are about to share a bed now. She knew it couldbe like a first date and sex after. Normal people did it all the time. Minus the marriage before meeting part. She rode the elevator still a bit shy and quiet and when they got out she headed to their room. She was in awe when they got inside. It was dark tones but she liked it. She saw her night wear on the bed along with bovers a basket of sex lube, and toys. She blushed as she picked up the basket and set it to the side. She picked up her small little slip. "Well, I guess I should go change into this?" he teased

Daisy: http://www.hjscondiments.com/wp-content/...

Daniel: Daniel felt like he and Daisy got along fairly well together, but he still felt a little off kilter about the whole thing. THey seemed to get along fine at the reception, but maybe that was just becuase they were both awkward and clinging to each other because they had no one else to turn to. This was different. And Danile felt himself getting more and more apprehensive, espeically when they got into the room. "Yeah, this is nice," he murmured, and looked past the selection of things on the night stand. "I don't even know why they include half of these things, they aren't very conducive to having babies," he said and then flushed, looking over at Daisy with her slip. "You know we don't have to. I wouldn't...we don't have to. We can tell everyone we did."

Daisy joined the chat 18 seconds ago

Daisy: Daisy smiled. REally, are you sure? You knwo its what I am suppose to do." She smiled and nodded. "Actually, yeah maybe let's just watch a movie and talk a bit?" She smiled "I am goign to take a shower then be less sexy with my care bear theme pjs oooo." She teaed, she had a big tank top tee that went to her knees and fuzzy pj pants. She took a nice shower, trying not to think of anything being awkward. She had a husband and he was a room away. She put on her less than sexy outfit and wrapped her hair in a towel. "Water is still warm when I got out if you want to wash off?"

Daniel: Daniel laughed a little and ran his fingers anxiously though his hair. "I know, I know. But I don't know why we have to rush it. I mean, we could, but I..." He gave her an awkward kind of smile. "I really don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you." He sat down awkwardly on the edge of the be while she was in the shower, eventually taking off his shoes and sort of staring at the wall. He threw a blanket over the basket of sex tings after a few minutes. It defintely wasn't that he wasn't interested-- Daisy was so attractive he was almost in pain. But the whole thing was so awkward already. Awkward first time sex would just make it worse, right? He saw Daisy come out and smiled. "I know you said you were going to be less sexy, but I don't really see that," he told her, giving her a shy kind of smile. "But yeah, I'll...be right back."

Daisy: "what's doing it for ya? The hello kitten fuzzy pj pants?" She teased. She saw the blanket over the sex toys. Most guys would love to have that out fast as if it was trick or treat candy they coudlnt wait to get into. She made herself a cup of tea and sat on the sofa. She turned on a movie and lean back against the sofa. She probably shouldnt be so at home with a stranger, but he seemed nice. She texted herm om she was fine and she liiked him so far. She sipped on her tea a she waited for him to emerge

Daniel: Daniel laughed a little and smiled. "You caught me, I'm one of those," he teased, and found himself leaning in to brush his lips lightly over her cheek. It was honestly hard not to think of sex, knowing he'd be sharing a bed with her. But he still felt old and gross next to her. He couldn't imagine that she'd actually want to be with him like that. Of course they'd have to have sex eventually, they did have to have children. He just didn't know when eventually would be. He finished his quick shower and came out in his boxers and a wife beater, rubbing his head with a towel and smiling at Daisy. "Anything good on?" he said gingerly sitting down on the bed next to her.

Daisy: she looked at the scene. It was meg ryan theme movie. She smiled at how cute he looked without his outfit. She noticed his muscles and his body. She knew eventually they would need to have sex, and thought made her ears burn red. "I was about to get room service because I can, and its on your dime." She teased. "You want to share chicken tenders and fries with me?" She asked

Daniel: Daniel grinned. "You can get as much room service as you want. I think technically it's on my dad's dime, and I want to spend as much of it as possible." He nodded. "That sounds great." Daniel smirked. "So you're still hungry after all that. This diet you were on must have been starving you."

[atuzbee]

DEH 10.5.17

-general-

OH MY GOD HERE WE GO

So there was the obc except for larry/michael park who was understudied by Asa Somers

Mike looks at individuals in the audience, he speaks to them specifically

i think Will uses this technique where you look at the back of the heads of people/back of the theatre, its used for speaking to the whole theatre 

and can i just say, will does NOT get enough credit for his entire performance, while yes his comedic timing and stuff are AMAZING, he cries while on stage and brings a lot of emotion that i did NOT expect but it was so good

Ben kinda does both, god his voice is so good, its so much better irl if thats even possible

connor has a braided leather bracelet

If mike says that he’s not a strong singer 1 more time im gonna cut a bitch

his voice is so clear and he hits every note perfectly

dude. the sets are so pretty ughgugh

Mike Faist is a beautiful human like. pictures dont do him justice man, he looks good in them but irl hes like. !!! wtf hes so pretty

bens outfit changes are so quick how does he even do that wtf

LISTEN TO ME DO NOT SELL YOUR TICKETS BC THERES AN UNDERSTUdY

-act 1-

after connor says fuck you to zoe ,, mike gives laura a teeny tiny smile right before he puts his head down 

oh my god speaking of smiles the are you high smile is SO FUNNY

the part in waving through a window where theres the break and then the  “ON THE OUTSIDE ALWAYS LOOKING IN”? that is so powerful irl like. dude the sound vibrates through you and its so good

connor tries waving to evan during waving through a window but evan didn’t see, im fine this is fine

I started crying during waving through a window and I didnt stop till after the end of the show

Evan starts crying during writing the letter and he also doesnt stop

sincerly me has so many pretty harmonies

JARED SAID IT, HE SAID IT INSTEAD OF HOT I LOST IT

KiNkY

Zoe bounces her leg and bites her nails

Evan bites his nails, fiddles with his shirt, scratches at his palm, and picks at his fingers

the actors bring so much to the characters its so good!! its so good omg

AFTER SINCERLY ME FINISHES AND THE LIGHTS GO OUT CONNOR FLIPS OFF THE AUDIENCE ITS SO FUNNY

all you gotta DO

i could see the cellist from where i was sitting and she was rocking out to sincerly me and mouthing along it was great

right before requiem zoe like, rushes over to the letters after holding back and pushing cynthia away, its so deperate and powerful oh lord

okay so Asa brings so much to the role of larry, from what ive heard Michael is very stoic all the time but Asa like, is just really tired of life more than anything. 

Asa’s Larry for sure isnt a good guy but hes not the bad guy either. He fucks up as a parent for sure, and what he did to connor was not okay but like… man he does care even if he tries not to show it

during you will be found larry breaks down, he starts crying oof it broke my heart

Ben Platt is so good, his emotions are so raw, fuck, 

-act 2-

so, you and zoe,, ?? 

OH WHAT A NICE GLOVE

to break in a glove is so funny and sad at the same time

larrys voice breaks on “or if you’re tryna do whats best”

and he yells the next part, hes like on the brink of tears

Sincerly me reprise is a fucking bop and connor looks mildly uncomfortable about how many kids end up sucking dick for meth

we all know it but WILLS LAUGH IS A BLESSING

nYehHEHHeHEHhE

its so funny holy shit

YES THE INSANELY COOL !!! JARED KLIENMAN

a part of the saucy friendship we had ;)

i like the choreography for the reprise too its kinda different from sincerly me ??

larry drinks bourbon and some expensive looking wine

jared invites evan to his party with lots of alcohol like. he makes a big fucking deal out of the alcohol

ok so after the scene where jared accuses evan of having connors death be the best thing thats ever happened to him, jared storms off and evan kinda lingers after him on stage for a solid 30 seconds before being pulled away by zoe

evan starts dressing more and more like connor till theyre in almost the same outfit

evan has funyuns stashed away in his little headrest storage thing

after only us zoe kisses his and they lay down and wowie some things are heavily implied there

oh god so when heidi is at the murphys house and evan finds out he shrinks into himself so much 

will screams FUCK YOU EVAN, ASSHOLE with so much emotion in his voice you could feel everyone react

jared like, stomps his foot and screams silently during good for you, he starts crying and you wont see it if you dont look for it but man. that fucked me up.

heidi crys so much

okay so during the did you fall or did you let go connor yells at him almost as if he’s angry

during the finale ben seems like hes talking to everyone who’s ever wanted to kill themselves and it. Made me CRY

this is such a lifechanging show holy shit

[rntdry7896]

Im here again

I kinda love the anonymity of this blog yet im also lonely and just want someone to talk too

Im selfidh i know i push them away and wont tell a full story to angone but still expect people to understand how fucked is my brain

Idk im juat tired

I want to die but dying is so expensive th living is also very expensive haha

damn i hate work not hate persay i hate how i make stuff its ugly and i cant revise them i dont know how why

and i kinda understand how ppl latch into anythinb online lord im kinda being creeped/groomed by this dude and my fucking circle and self esteem makes ne want to jump into the trap willingly

I mean he seems really concerned and open, its creepy but im just deperate for validation

Hah funny

I wont be swayed i know but thinking what if i just give up what if i just goes withthe flow maybe ill be happier? Having people who cares?

I also mentioned before to friends how im stress at home i tried to open up but they dismissed it by stop being delusional

Other time i tried to seek support they said stop victimizing yourself

I know they mean it in good faith like omg lets be positive u soft should stop getting pushed around i know iknow but it hurt

I just i dont even know wht i want

I dont know maybe im just to over sensitive but i cried really easily lately, im tired i dont want to live i dont know its heavy i have this nauseous feeling and headache i hate how i stress and snap to other wothout reason i dont know why im so fucke up but i know its somethong i gotta deal withI dont want to eat i hate it too how whiny i am i dont want to be whiny and weak and worthless haha i mask everything quite well i thimk i shared jokes and still looks normal outside but im not

Im not normal im not okay

I wam to disappear why is it so hard i dont want to be here

I know if i posted ppl are gonna be omg i support you distant acquaintance will try and placate you or maybe reccomend to go to doctor or somthing butits expensive i want a chep alternative i want. To die easyly or something haha i dont know i sound so rambling

This and the several hidden account kinda help maybe but idk anymore typing in your phone to vent just doesnt seems to help angmore

I remeber also briefly mentioning how i have these stuff bjt they said its unhealthy but i dont know if i cant type here wahat i will do then except just slowly dying inside

At least i feel something while typing here

Maybe i have a small hope people will read this after i die or something and feel remorse or know im not okey but its really useless huh