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bingwriterxo · 1 year ago

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My dear bing!! I have taken the liberty of writing this long analysis to you in hope you find it entertaining. I advise you to buckle up because it will be long. First of reader and Tara driving in the car and Tara’s nervous rambling upon just seeing endless road made it a great introductory! It was so intimate and domestic! I was hoping you would have some sort of party where Tara is introduced to readers life I should say. Who she grew up with, the environment and such. The way you described readers house was such a perfect painting in words! I don’t believe it could have been better. I love how upon reader and Tara’s entrance everyone just turned 😂 of course our dear girl tara would think it was a cult. I will say it again..never change tara. I will say after reading so many anons from you and 🇬🇧 I was eager and very ecstatic to meet readers young brothers! As always you do not disappoint! The interaction between Eddie and Nate and Tara made my day! You wrote them exactly how I pictured them! With major differences! Nate has my heart, he is my favorite (don’t mention that to Edmund I don’t want him to think badly of me) reader being her usual self and telling Tara if she needed some breathing room to go to her room and then she preceded to give her directions 😂love our girl! I will say the gif had taken me by surprise and I was a bit worried but as always you come through bing. Tara meeting readers mother was wonderful! Already calling her mother😂 I just adore that! And baby Cordelia! Definitely took me by a wild surprise but it was greatly welcomed! And Tara getting baby fever was the cherry on the cake for me. Readers father is such a vivacious and charming man! I’m a book girl myself so I very much love readers family. ‘Call me dad’ readers dad precede to light up! Now as for connor, or as I call him the scum on the bottom of my shoes. I have nothing nice to say about him, and I take the saying if you have nothing to say that’s polite do not say it. So I shall hold my tongue. What broke me the most was Tara having to use her inhaler. My poor love must have been crying very much for it to trigger her asthma. Readers mother comforting her was such a great idea! And I had a hunch reader was engaged! From the minute you forshadowed it with Connor saying he was no stranger to readers family parties! Reader being the absolute gem to Tara and explaining everything…why can’t everyone be like that!! I will say I hope Connor gets a taste of his own medicine someday! He made me filled with rage! As someone who is not as tall it’s not very much rage but it is still rage nonetheless!! Hope you enjoyed this rant of mine! Your writing was too good I had to write this!I cannot wait for this AU to continue to grow! It has quickly taken over my heart. There is something so uniquely special about reader and Tara. There is no other AU quite like this. As ever bing wishing you a good weekend 🫶🫡- houseofwindsor77

YASSS ANALYSIS

i worked wrote and rewrote the intro 5 times before publishing what i did. it was tricky for me. i didn’t wanna seem too info-dumpy but i also didnt wanna throw them right in. i also had trouble with the imagery b/c, tbh, it is NOT my strong suit

im glad u liked the boys!! there will be much more of them! i just wanted tara to meet them quickly, and, yes! baby cordelia! i kept her a secret till now. i just thought she’d be a fun addition

both of R’s parents were extremely fun to write! there will be more of them as well! i thought having R’s mom comfort tara first before R has the chance to would open up the room for a great relationship between them!

connor is such a little poo head and i hate him! im not sure if he’ll be back. maybe he’ll pop in every once in a while to spice things up? but we’ll see

i love ur analyses always 🫶 i look forward to them after ever chapter!

#ask #museum tara

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ashanimus · 1 year ago

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Ash Liveblogs LL 2-3

Every time I think I understand I get in deeper and I realize I do Not. Oh yes Anna, oh yes Nate, I see why people like these Robits. I get it now.

ITS SO INTENSE. MY BRAIN. I HAVE FIRE ANTS OF CREATIVITY AND QUESTIONS. IVE WRITTEN AND RECORDED TWO--TWO SONGS!!!!!???--IN THE LAST 48 HOURS THAT STARTED WITH TRANSFORMERS STUFF AND TRANFORMERS OC. HELP?

I stayed up till 4 am the other day finishing MTME thinking I'd have a moment of breath, of peace, before moving on. NO! I got the ontological equivalent of the dickbutt. Go read the next collection, you idiot.

Anyway here's the liveblog of LL 2-3

AHHHH my boys <3 also hi swerve.

Dear GOD i've said it before and I'll say it again, I would NEVER EVER want to end up on the minibot's bad side. Theyre both fucking feral but REWIND

HE's SO bold and impulsive and intense. I would so much sooner find myself Cyclonus or even Whirl's enemy

Also, 12 of 12.

This is what would happen if Facebok gained self awareness and a body. This is the pope if he ate -insert billionare techbro of your choice-

I am obsessed with the coloring in this fucking series, and also I am a Fan of Anode. Her design is so appealing. Very nice colors.

I really like her ; o ;

SKEIFJLKDAGKJ Rod's new blue look is throwing me off so bad but dear GOD this is so fucking funny. Roddles just got BURNED

Oh Christ on a pogo stick. In a comic chock full of some of the most grotesque images I've ever seen it says something that these words and the picture they paint is so far proving to be amongst the most OMINOUS

TRAPPED LIGHT? Lost light? Threadbare space? Like? About to tear??? AAAAAAAAA

OH DEAR GOD SEE THIS IS WHAT I MEAN DO NOT FUCK WITH THE MINIBOTS ASJFDASLGDG

That's RIGHT Cyclonus you--OH NOOOOOOOOO ANODE LASKLFDSFAJDSKJGD

Aghhhh. All silliness aside. This is heartbreaking. Tailgate despite being Cyclonus' contemporary is a little naive and lacks a certain physical experience of war and destruction and Cyclonus quietly and calmly walking him over the threshold of the aftermath is breaking my little bat heart T m T

He looks so sad :<

SNERK yes cry for help you annoying green bitchbaby--DAMMIT

All hail the useless one! Where did you find my negative self talk bubble six of twelve--OH DEAR GOd FOR REAL?

I mean yes Rung is a Useless Therapist but oh my GODDDD WHAT IS THIS

LL 3

Whiiiiirl my beloved

Im always so impressed by how the artists make these characters emote. The squinty lil optic...

The list of what is wrong with these men is so long but I love them all so much

Whirl. Whirl. Buddy. I distinctly remember something about your Nemesis being a guy named something else entirely and definitely not Killmaster--

Genuinely fascinated by this entire conversation, and also in awe of how JRO effortlessly seems to come up with the most badass fantasy technical terms ever. Widowed metal. Holy shit.

I also love how the Lost Light is big enough that we can have this drama happening upstairs and then THIS happening directly beneath their feet as;dfjlkdsjg

Oh look, the cavalry! Cyclonus here to help!

OH UH, FUCK??

HOLD ON HOLD ON.

I AM CALLING HOLY BULLSHIT.

#maccadam #ash liveblogs idw #annabean

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captain039 · 3 years ago

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The lioness PT 2

Logan x reader (wolverine)

Warnings: Gore, sweating, placed in Logan, character deaths, intimacy, angst, age gap, anxiety, anxiety attacks, mentions of needles

18+

Prev ious chapter

You sighed rolling out the bed and heading to the shower. You forgot you were with people and jumped when goo saw a rather naked Logan in front of you.

“I'm so sorry!” you yelped and closed the door. You went to the table and sat down wishing the world would swallow you up. Charles was laughing on the bed and you glared before hiding your face in your towel.

You were on the road again pretty quickly, you didn't say anything nor did you dare look Logan in the eye.

“We need to find new clothes or something,” you said eyeing your bloodied pants and shirt. Despite a hand scrub they still looked horrible.

“Fine” Logan grumbled and you huffed at his attitude.

You went with Luara to the kid's area she was rather forceful. You had to keep her from tearing the clothes apart. You eventually got her a few clothing items before heading to the adult clothes area. You grabbed some shirts, a jumper and a new pair of jeans before going to the checkout.

“Hey you want ice cream?” you asked Laura as she held your hand. She looked at you and you realised she may have not had ice cream.

“I'll get you some ice cream,” you said heading to the shop. You talked her through the flavours, she ended up with chocolate while you had your favourite. You saw Logan waiting outside with Charles a stern look on his face as always.

“Come on” you held Laura's hand and headed to them.

“Ice cream?” Logan questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“She's a kid!” you snapped glaring at him. He flinched a little and Charles smirked at you.

You headed back to the highway again. Stupid auto trucks beeping and causing too much stress. They caused Logan to lose control along with another car. You gripped the door and the dash your claws digging in. After the car stopped you took a breath and looked to the other car.

“Crap” you got out quickly and avoided any trucks as you helped them with their horses. They all went back on their own though and you frowned glancing to Charles. Logan drove over and helped you.

“Thank you both so much” the woman said.

“That’s ok” you smiled.

“Damned trucks” Logan sighed and she chuckled.

“Yeah” she agreed.

“Would you let us repay you by offering you a warm meal?” She asked.

“Ah no-“ Logan began but Charles cut him off.

“We’d be delighted” he said and you saw Logan’s pissed face.

“Awesome” the woman said.

You sat a little uncomfortably at the house, it was strange to be in this setting again. You stared at your food before trying to control your urge to devour it all.

“Is this your daughter?” Kathryn asked you.

“What? Oh- no Laura’s his” you said.

“Oh- are you together?” She asked and you froze and Logan cleared his throat.

“Yes they are” Charles said and you blinked.

“We are?” You said more of a question.

“Sorry you’re very young is all” Kathryn said.

“I’m yeah” you flushed a bit heart pounding as your leg also jogged.

“He’s unwell, he um, isn’t as old as he looks” you said trying to keep in the act. A hand fell on your bounding leg though, forcing you to stop. You stared at Logan who was keeping a silent rage in.

“Please stop” he said very hushed.

“Im sorry to make you uncomfortable” she chuckled nervously and you shook your head.

“I’ll help with the dishes” you said and stood his hand falling off. You started to fill the sink till the whole house grumbled about it.

“Damn it!” Bill said. He began muttering to his wife who tried to calm him.

“Damn bastards” he sighed grabbing his torch.

“You mind helping Logan?” He asked and Logan just followed silently.

“After new owners came in on the near property they’ve been messing with our water” Kathryn sighed.

“I’m sorry” you said and she sighed.

“The last owners were real nice now Mr Hones and his sons are messing with our supply” she huffed.

“Y/n dear would you mind taking me to bed?” Charles asked and you nodded. You lifted the man up, he was frail in your arms, though with your strength most did. You laid him down like glass and watched Laura go into Nates room.

You went back downstairs to Kathryn and the water turned on.

“Nice job hun” she whispered and you couldn’t help but smile softly. You did the dishes but something kept you on guard. A bad feeling in your gut, you hoped it was wrong, but the sound of vehicles approaching made it to real.

“You need to get your son and hide” you said and she frowned.

“What’s going on?” She said rushed as you urged her upstairs.

“Stay in here, lock yourself in don’t come out until you hear me ok?” You said entering the room and closing the curtains.

“Y/n-!” She called but you pulled the door closed and broke the handle.

“Laura” you nudged her and she turned to you.

“Stay here with Charles, scream of anything goes wrong” she went on edge and stood up immediately.

“No- no stay” you said as she went to follow you. You closed the door and listened in. Only one set of footsteps. You frowned going downstairs and seeing a large figure. You froze at the face of Wolverine, but it wasn’t him.

You switched to your night vision, listened in deeper trying to figure out far the cars were. The fake Wolverine wasn’t stopping, you went outside and readied your claws. His claws came out too and you frowned as he charged. You were quick to dodge but broke a case in the process. You kept dodging his attacks before striking your own. More men came in and shots were fired into you. You winced before healing and focused on the big guy. You heard screams inside and froze your worried gaze going to the house. You sprinted to the house, jumped up to the second floor and broke through the window. You killed the men but it was took late. Kathryn had bullets in her and Nate was dead. You went to Kathryn who sobbed.

“I’m so sorry” you whispered as she her eyes closed. You heard Laura cry and you kicked the door down. The fake Wolverine had gotten in quickly, she was fighting him.

“Hey!” You snarled jumping on him and pulling him down with you. You grunted are the pain of being squashed as he thrashed. You were knocked pretty easily as he stood. You got up to glancing to the bed and freezing. Charles was gasping for breath, blood on his white singlet. You cried tears in your eyes as you swiped and fought. The house was trashed as you were thrown about and finally thrown outside. You groaned feeling weak and limp.

“Y/n!” You heard Logan this time, the real one and groaned in response. He helped you up before he was punched away and you were punched back down. A car came in and ran the fake one down and into spikes of the house.

“Bill-“ you muttered as he shot the thing in the face multiple times before falling down himself. You groaned again hearing an explosion going off before you heard Laura struggle. You looked over, saw her lying on the head cuffed.

“Laura” you mumbled getting up on weak legs.

“Come on” Logan helped you along the way as he picked up Laura and went into the car. Charles was already in the back in the tray as you sped off. You slowly healed and helped Laura out of her cage.

“He’ll be fine” you said to her as she looked at Charles worried. He wasn’t fine at all, struggling for breath.

“Logan-“ you said.

“Yeah-yeah let me think!” He snarled and you gulped.

Charles didn’t make it. He died with the last thoughts of a boat on the ocean. You buried him by some water, like that would fix anything. You didn’t know the man very long but he understood you, went in your head a few times too many but you were thankful he did. It was hard on Logan he was trembling slightly as he looked over Charles grave. Laura tried to hold his hand but he stormed off.

“Come here” you said and beckoned her over. She wrapped her arms around your stomach and you sighed patting her back.

“He’s a man and doesn’t deal very well with his emotions ok?” You said and she nodded slightly. You heard crashing and yelling as Logan broke things on the truck with the shovel.

“Just- wait here” you said going to him. You stopped his swing, grabbing it mid air as he stared you down. You stared back his strength much stronger than yours apparently as your arms struggled. He gave up though and you laid the shovel back in the tray as he leant against the car.

“I’m sorry for what happened-“ you began and he glared.

“Ok” you whispered stopping. He hadn’t healed properly, hadn’t slept properly, just lost his friend and now has to deal with the kid and you. He stumbled and you frowned as he fell to the ground.

“Woah hey!” You yelled but he was passed out.

“Damn it” you muttered.

“Laura!” You called but saw no figure.

“Goddamnit!” You yelled as a car slowly approached.

“Oh” you said seeing her in the drivers seat.

“You can’t just take peoples cars-“ you sighed lifting Logan up and dragging him to the old Ford. You drove to the hospital though he wouldn’t like it that much.

“Will he wake up?” You asked the doctor quietly.

“Yes, are you also a mutant?” He said hushed.

“I guess” you sighed.

“Your blood could heal him” you frowned at the doctors words.

“I’d need a sample but it may work” he said and you stared at the old man.

“He’s killing himself slowly” you said and the doctor nodded sadly.

“Charles told me not to let him, probably also told Laura-“ you stopped at his confused face.

“I’m terrified of needles I’m sorry if I- attack?” You said and he gulped.

“Ok” he agreed.

He strapped your arms down just in case and you looked away. You took deep breaths, heart pounding and head spinning as he took some blood.

“All done” he said and you sighed in relief as you healed quickly.

“Ah geez” you felt like puking and passing out.

“Lie on the floor” he said and you did just that. You closed your eyes and sighed shakily. Laura came in and you looked to her.

“I’m scared of needles” you chuckled as she sat by your head and handed you an ear piece.

“Thanks” you whispered putting it in and listening to the music.

“It’s working” you frowned as the doctor rushed in. You slowly stood trying to ignore the feeling in your stomach. You watched his wounds heal quickly and watched his face change.

“Very well apparently” the doctor said. He looked less withered down, more like a matured man with grey hair.

“What the hell” you whispered.

Next Chapter

#x reader #fanfic #logan x reader #old man logan #Wolverine #Wolverine x reader #xmen #marvel #xmen x reader

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redemptionofthefallen · 3 years ago

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3 and 25? 😁💗

omg...asks...i have ASKS!!! XD thank you so much awkward! ilysm! XD

favorite line/scene you wrote this year

hmm...that ones hard most of the scene that come to mind i haven't written out yet ^^'''

but on that note i can tell you a scene from my audio story thats like a fanfic but spoken aloud XD

-also a shameless plug XD im trying to get it noticed XD i worked so hard on it >~< -

anyway my favorite scene in my "Pure of Heart" series one that i wrote in my head and acted out. in Chapter 7 Carnival date....honestly that whole chapter. XD

the whole imagery of Nick and Nate going on a carnival date then, going to play pool Nate complaining cause Nick is kicking his ass, and then the end where Nate passes out and nick takes him home...

now i know the last one sounds bad but hear me out DX

like up to this point Nick has had feelings for Nate but has not shown it, when he realizes Nate is in danger he shows the first form of care for him and its a turning point for the both of them.

i love those two so fucking much XD

if you wanna know more, listen to my audio story? please im begging at this point DX i want feedback DX LINK

a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read

oh uhh...eh whoo...there SO many! DX so many good ones ive read from friends and non friends this year DX

however....

ive never had the chance to talk about this fic before and i think im going to take it...because i read it aloud to my wife this year and it counts! XD

but if you haven't heard of the Fic "Louder than Words"...

heres the link GO READ IT NOW!

i mean if you want ^^;;;

but LISTEN! like if you love attack on titan im pretty sure you will like this series! its written so well, all the characters are accurate in their own right. and even if you dont agree with some of the ships in this series (example: erenxlevi, reinerxbertolt, mikasaxjean etc.) the story is written so well and the DYNAMICS of all the ships in this series is accurate to me. this woman DID HER RESERCH! the detail in this thing is finamilal! foreshadowing checkoffs gun all of it!

you want angst? check

you want fluff? check

you want freindship encounters? check

you want smut? check~

you want a story that will make you cry, laugh, rage, and go all ALL the way through!? CHECK!!!

this thing reads like a book, im only sad that this is the only thing i can find of her work or of her in general she did such a good fucking job on this thing and i could go on forever but PLEASE i imploooore you to give it a shot if you like attack on titan please!

i will warn you there are dark themes in this fic so pay attention to the tags okay? just in case ^^;;;

BUT

here are the honorable mentions as even if i didnt talk about Louder than Words i would have said these ones anyway XD

@verratensduo = Special Day LINK

this made me so soft and that is a secret ship of mine i see working between them if they decided. it was written so sweet and i just UGH! so cute.

@mindninjax = What Once was Mine LINK

i lost my MIND for this one. if i hadnt found this gem i never would have met Min Min and more of her work that follows. this one started it all for me. it written so well and she has an uncanny talent for details ^^

@reiner69er = The Warrior and the Champion LINK

she is a dear freind of mine and if it wernt for this one person i wouldnt be RPing or writing again! i have so much to thank her for. but really even though im not done with this series and im being very slow the few chapters ive read are so good! i feel like im watching this from the anime itself. the atmosphere is so good ^^ and i love addie XD

@tipsyangels = Heavy Breathing LINK

oh Tipsy...tipsy...what else can i say lol you have a talent for writing stories that pull other in by the hair and never let go XD there is a tone to her writing that i adore and she is such a great freind ^^

@touyaspeach = Loverboy LINK

OMG! this is easily my favorite kaminari fic ever, it was sweet, just like him and the reader did a lot of the things that i knew i would do given the situation ;) i also like how much care they take in making her works, and it shows ^^

@sparklekitteh = Ravenous LINK

ooooooo baby this one was great! it sent me chills in more than one way and i loved that XD plus i also know if Jean were a werewolf...thats how he would act XD i enjoyed this a heck of a lot and your other works too ^^

some of these are spicy so be warned but GIVE THEM YOU ATTENTION! they deserve it ^^

@xawkwardxderpx

#asks #answer #fanfic asks #pureofheartaudio #im so sorry this was so long DX

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aerielz · 3 years ago

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another Ted Lasso lb

205: rainbow under the cut!

How do people watch this without laughing their lungs out? No seriously. It takes me three times the runtime to watch episodes because I keep pausing to laugh. I showed it to my mom and she just giggled here and there and like???

Roy's "Why would you let me be happy?"

Or Ted doing the cross thing?

Rebecca making herself big I mean what the fuck why yall not dropping dead on the floor w me

what's wrong with all of u

Or me? Oh my God I think it's me.

"Eleph-Rhino"

Ted is too cute. Too pure.

I have so many spoilers for this show but honestly it's so good I just find myself fully enjoying whatever comes and Nate's whole journey in this episode has been so so so special I love itttttt

The level of the acting in this show I'm SORRY ok I know I talk about this a the time but Jesus fuck

[Dear Santa,

If I have to trade every Christmas present for the rest of my life for the joy of having a cast and crew this talented and work on something this special even if for just one season in my entire career, fine, I'll do it.]

"And have some fucking fun"

That hit me hard 🥴

I've been trying hard to suppres the fact that I really want a Richmond sweater for a whole season now. But I'm not strong enough. I really am not. I'll probably finish the episode and Google it only to be rudely reminded that the USD to BRL conversion is like 1-5,7

IM ALSO JUST A COACH

STANDING IN FRONF OF A BOY-

Fuck offfffffffffffffffffffff

NAT KING COLE'S LOVE ARE YOU SHITTING ME

I HAVE SO MANY SPOILERS BUT ITS NOT ENOUGH AND THIS CUT BETWEEN TED AND REBECCA TEXTINF WAS ENOUGH TO BREQK ME

this show needs to stop with the fucking quotes I'm not strong enough

Apologies for the colorful language is now a fixture of my own colorful vocabulary.

Roy's realization rant is the most beautiful thing. This show is like we took the best out of 90s rom-coms and just stretched it into 2 seasons of doing it the wackiest ways.

Norah Ephron would be so proud 🥲 Rest in peace kween your legacy is being taken care of

Shit the Roy/Isaac story in this ep is hitting so hard.

THE BOYS BEING KIDS IN SO HAPPY THEY LOOK LIKE CHILDREN IN THE FIELD omg I miss watching my cousins play so much I'll never forgive this show for finally making me like football this is unforgivable

The first notes of She's a Rainbow always make me feel something I can't explain but this is somwhow so much worst what is happening to meeeeee

"I miss all of it"

Cool cool coolcolcooolcolcoll it's fine this is fine I'm fine

THE RICKSHAW

I AM NOT FINE.

my uncle is working next to me in the tiny living room of my dad's apartment and I'm fucking crying silently because of Roy Kent and HE'S HERE HE'S THERE HE'S EVERY FUCKING WHERE ROY KEEEEEEEEEEN and YOU HAD ME AT COACH and I'm making such a fool out of myself jesus fuck there nothing like the love between roy and Richmond ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

THE CHANGE IN THE SCORE WHEN THEY CLOSE UP ON NATE OH MY G-

I absolutely lost control of my life. What's going on.

That’s it. That’s it, I’m emailing Sudeikis and begging him to let me wait the writer staff hand and foot just so I can be around and maybe soak up some of this

Oh and the Richmond sweater? It goes for 70USD on the wbshop, which means almost 400 bucks my money.

Fml.

#az lbs ted lasso #Ted Lasso #I'm sorry I lost it #I absolutely lost it

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stewystew · 3 years ago

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Leverage Redemption Ep 1 Liveblog

2:37 SHUT UP I’M GOING TO CRY NOT THE WALKAWAY

5:12 I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 also for some reason Hardison volunteering to get groceries was the thing that did me in lmao

8:02 SOPHIE LOVE OF MY LIFE YOU ABSOLUTE QUEEN

8:25 she said 👀 *surprised pikachu face*

8:45 PARKER’S GOING TO FREE THERAPY??? bby I’m so happy for you

9:30 oh Harry you poor man

10:11 where’s Eliot I miss him :(

10:30 oh dear 😒

11:24 THERE HE IS!!! (“you hit him” LMAO)

11:50 rip

12:20 ooh another flashback!

15:25 I’m SOFT

17:02 ooooh Sophie’s got a plan!!! (ohh Sophie’s sad :( )

17:55 AHHHHHH 🥺🥺🥺

18:44 “IN THEORY” lmao... yeah sure

19:15 Nate?

19:25 lmao Eliot said I’m not letting you stay in here unsupervised

19:55 thirTEEN

20:28 HER SMILE IS SO PRETTY

21:08 this poor man is so lost

21:22 yES IM GOING TO CRY “OF COURSE YOU HAVE”

22:07 lmao get baited dumbass

22:36 ashjwhshs king (🥺) (“In Four Hours!”) (“you were just cranky” lmao)

23:32 “e-e-easy??” Hardison ily

24:10 😳😧

24:35 lmaooo

24:45 nothing, I just got rly emotional for no reason

25:05 yeah Harry. Geez

25:15 👀

26:00 I love them

26:30 THE HANDSHAKE YES 💕💕💕

27:50 🥺

28:30 Eliot being just a little shorter than Parker is something that can be so 💖

29:15: YES SOPHIE GET HIS ASS. (“she’s Sophie Devereaux”)

32:00 haha yes sophie get him

32:25 fuck yeah that’s a good shot

32:50 *GASP* (“is it the...” “the rembrandt? yes it is :)”)

33:50 aah 😢

35:10 this slaps

36:43 😏

36:45 BRICK AND BASIL

36:50 HARDISON MASTER FORGER MY BELOVED

37:45 PROUD MAMA GRIFTER 2

38:30 oh no 😧

38:50 FUCK YES ELIOT BEAT THEM UP (wait oh no 😧)

40:08 Eliot my beloved 🥰

41:20 Eliot my beloved 🥰🥰🥰

42:00 wuh-oh

43:35 yes go off king

45:35 yesss more evil speech of evil

47:05 yessssss get his ass!

48:20 oop 🤭

48:50 yes Parker go girl!!!

49:45 YES THE GLOAT!!!!!! (Sophie said 😁)

51:00 HARDISON LOML 😍😍😍 (JEWISH HARDISON???!!!)

51:45 shut up I’m 🥺🥺🥺 (cowboy?? TWELVE YEARS???)

52:15 HIS FATHER’S SON!!??!

53:10 WE’RE GOING TO PANAMA

I’m gonna fucking sob I’m so emotional FUCK I love them all so much

#leverage #leverage redemption #leverage 2.0 #leverage spoilers #leverage redemption spoilers #lr spoilers #leverage lb #liveblog #mine

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unreliable-narrator · 6 years ago

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top 10 songs tag game

i was tagged by @avathoto (god rest their soul) to put 10 songs i can’t stop listening to and then tag 10 people

1. It Only Gets Much Worse by Nate Ruess

“I didn’t mean to let you go

I didn’t mean to bruise but I lost control

What didn’t mean a thing destroyed us both”

this song. THIS SONG. the tune is probably my favorite thing its just so GOOD that’s all i can say about it

2. Give It Up by The Format

“God, I miss those songs we used to sing

Talking like getting away would be the greatest thing

Well me, I got out

And you, you kept singing to me

Like that’s really going to set this free”

i’m such a slut for songs that sing about regrets and i have no idea why. i think there’s an underlying issue there but we don’t have time for that

3. I Wanna Be The One by fun.

“Now for everything you lost and all you’ve overcome

I wanna be the one to put it in a song

Take every single tear for all the world to hear

I wanna be the one to put it in a song”

okay first of all “Aim and Ignite” is one of the most underrated albums of all time and second of all this song is just so happy. such proud energy. we stan

4. Dear Winter by AJR

“Dear Winter, I hope you like your name

I’m hoping that someday, I can meet you on this Earth

But shit, I gotta meet your mom first”

to be fair neotheater hasn’t come out and that’s the singualar reason this entire list isn’t AJR shdfhfsd but man this song. it’s so hopeful and i love it

5. Ghosting by Mother Mother

“And this is why I have decided

To pull these old white sheets from my head

I’ll leave them folded neat and tidy

So that you’ll now I’m out of hiding”

this is such a ballad of loneliness to me and i just...like...i get it!! that feeling of never belonging. that you’re just floating through life bothering everyone else by existing. its just LONELy

now that all of that is out of the way. here comes the motion city soundtrack

6. The Worst Part... by Motion City Soundtrack

“I carried the world just as far as I could but the damage had taken it’s toll

...

I did everything right, I did everything I thought was right”

this song is so GOOD and is on my favorite album of all time, Even If It Kills Me by MCS

7. Even If It Kills Me by Motion City Soundtrack

“I’m not saying that I’m giving up

I’m just trying not to think

As much as I used to

Cause never is a lonely little messed up word

Maybe I’ll get it right some day”

this song is just so hopeful and like...very relatable to overcoming depression/coming out of a depressive funk. what a bop

8. Everyone Will Die by Motion City Soundtrack

“Cause everyone must die

And everyone must lose

So who you gonna love in the meantime

Before it catches you”

soft song. very soft. sad but happy. full of love. i lvoe this song im gonna cry

9. Skin and Bones by Motion City Soundtrack

“What if there’s nothing more to us?

We’re just carbon based, we’re just pixie dust

What if life is a magic trick?

Some quick sleight of hand just to make us think”

premium existential crisis song!!! that’s all i have to say

10. L.G. FUAD by Motion City Soundtrack

“I’m a mess, I’m a wreck

I am perfect, and I have learned to accept

All my problems and shortcomings ‘cause I’m so visceral

Yet deeply inept”

this is one of my favorite songs of all time on one of my favorite albums of all time. if ur wondering what it stands for it’s “let’s get fucked up and die” which is a very fun lyric to sing

there’s so many more songs i love but i have a limit of 10 so there it is

im supposed to tag 10 people so whoever I tag you don’t have to do it

@naps-official @buzzybez @snufkinsmoomin @whtqrtz @oliverorchestrates @satanisbisexualcomfirmed @madpanda14 @albriqht @alittlespace-ace @that-double-pan

#im so sorry i just tagged everyone i could think of #i think that's 10 #anyways #motion city soundtrack #blame max

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letters2theheartbreakers · 4 years ago

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11/26/2020

Dear Austin,

Your memory is haunting me today. I had the guts to tell you Happy Thanksgiving, and was met with no response. I can't tell if you changed your number, or if you're ignoring me; either way, it hurts.

I finally got my answer this year... I should be mad at not just you, but your wife. Nate told me that she basically didn't want you talking to any girls you had interest in...even if you didn't date. Honestly, it doesn't feel fair. I've never posed a threat; all I've wanted was for you to be happy and be my friend. I hate her (which sucks, cuz I imagine she and I could have been friends). And im so mad at you. There is a very very dark side of me that whispers from the corner of my mind on occassion; "I hope they get a divorce", "I hope she makes him miserable", "I hope he comes crawling back to me and apologizes"...... but honestly, that darkness is so small, and only comes out when im missing you so much. Overall, I want you to be happy. I'm just jealous that I'm not part of that happiness in any way, shape, or form. Im hurt that you did what you promised not to do.

On the way up to dads, all -

*BREAKING NEWS* AS IM TYPING THIS OUT YOU FINALLY RESPONDED TO ME AND I FEEL LIKE THROWING UP ("Happy turkey day to you, too, I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy") qwq gaaaaaaaah... I know you probably won't respond again but qwq Austiiiiiiiiiiiiin that made me so happy I wanna cry.... anyway...

-I could think about was Bellarmine days. I asked myself what I would have done with you... would I have avoided you to avoid heartbreak? I doubt it. If anything I would have tried to protect you from the damage Katie did. Id do what I could to help you open up to the guys. Id do what I could to make you more confident. I wouldn't have done anything to force you off the path of meeting your wife... cuz as mad at her as I am, she may rly be your true love. But I would have created a bigger imprint just to selfishly make you want to keep me around...

Every time I pass Austin Blvd I get sad.

All I could think of today was the time you visited me in December 2016. I loved it. As awkward as it was. I remember watching death parade. I remember you and I playing dont starve at the dinner table. I remember dad asking if you shaved your pubes in his bathroom just cuz of how much hair you shed haha.

.... I miss you....

I want you to miss me, too.

0 notes

higginsarnott · 7 years ago

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Merlot Mysteries Thoughts

Okay so dead guy due to arsenic poisoning. Game is a go people, let’s do this.

Omg Watts and the wine is already my favourite thing.

Clearly Brax isn’t over Jackson’s death. Nor is Murdoch.

‘You seem in high spirits’ well George is optimistic as fuck despite the shit he’s gone through so I’d expect that. Maybe that’s why we didn’t see Henry, he’s too busy being upset that Jackson is dead.

Yes Rebecca you get that new job. I have faith.

Where is the wine tasting I want this right now please?

Watts you are officially my new hero you legend.

OMG racist shits.

WATTS GIVING WINE LESSONS IM LEARNING MORE THAN IVE LEARNED IN MY WHOLE LIFE

Ok this is the part I’ve been waiting for.

Watts you are 100% my second favourite.

Gooseberry? Duh Murdoch shouldn’t it be obvious it’s red cherry?

Oh this is hilarious. Stop this my sides hurt.

NO THIS HURTS ME HES DRUNK AS FUCK

Yo where did the wedding portrait go of everybody? Like the one with Higgins, Crabtree, Dr Grace etc? That’s the best one

Oh god this is so funny but what is Julia wearing?

HE’S SO DRUNK AHAAAA

HAHAHAHA HANGOVER CURE THANKS DADDY BRAX

Oh my god I bet Brax was laughing so hard in his mind.

Poisoned before or after? Oh I’m confused.

Never mind Brax is laughing.

What in the fuck he can’t draw he’s so hungover I’m done xD

LOL SOMEBODY INVENTED SHIT BEFORE MURDOCH RIP HIS STREET CRED

100% the Butler did it but I have 20 minutes left still

I miss Henry.

HAHAHAHA Watts stop this I love you

Watts the Wine Connoisseur he has found his true calling

40 years old? Oh dear

Awww Rebecca I’m sorry honey

I feel like Henry should just become Julia’s morgue assistant so HE GETS MORE SCREEN TIME AND CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

They said Samuel Johnson I heard Samuel Jackson I feel so stupid I hate my hearing

Oh yeah, Brax is still sad about Jackson

Loving Julia’s outfit now. But I miss Alex Reda already.

THE DUMMY HAS WATTS’ HAT ON

IS THIS WHAT YOU GUYS WERE ON ABOUT WITH THE WHERE ITS WATTS’ HAT THING PH GOD

RIP Watts is being the expert today kids sit down

WHO IS THIS FANCY SLAG

WHY IS HENRY NOT HERE HE SPEAKS FRENCH HIS MUM WAS FROM QUEBEC HE SHOULD KNOW THINGS ABOUT WINE

I miss Henry. Already. It’s only been an episode. I’m glad he’s back next week.

Missed that part there’s a fight going on behind my fence something about Barker Wine

Oh it’s on the water cooler now. You guys I love this game already.

Nate Desmond needs to be the inspiration for my exams right now

GEORGE AND WATTS ARE PISSED OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS IM CRYING

I CANT BREATHE

Oh my god his favourite part I’m HOWLING

OMG HES LITERALLY GETTING GEORGE TO DRINK WITH HIM AHAAA

‘So who is who Inspector?’ ‘Well over there we’ve got George Crabtree, he’s my drinking buddy, and over here we have Henry, he’s the French speaking cinnamon roll, over there is Murdoch he’s the nerdy child and over there is Watts, the wine wizard.’

RIP my internet cut out

Ok it’s back

The butler. I knew it.

Watts and Murdoch I love them.

Trotter. I knew it. Scrap that last thought about the butler.

Oh shit the brother did it? I didn’t expect that holy shit

Damn son I’m shocked

WATTS WANTED TO TRY THE WINE

OH HE DID ANYWAYS

He loves it.

AND HE TOOK THE FUCKING BOTTLE

Oh RIP Rebecca is gone, I’m sad

Oh okay she’s got her qualifications that’s why she signed the death certificates

CAN WE GET HENRY IN HERE I THINK REBECCA AND HENRY WERE CLOSER

SHES SO DISAPPOINTED HE WONT DRINK

Ahaaaa Joy. Funny.

Omg fuck me this episode.

I love it.

But where’s Henry.

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newbark-town · 7 years ago

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Part III of catching Cresselia!!! @constarlations I’m hoping we’ll finish it and not have a part IV. LOL WE LIKE STARTED THIS AROUND AUGUST 2016 AND LOOK HERE ABOUT A YEAR LATER WE’RE FINALLY WORKING ON IT

Meanwhile...

Rosa: LET US GO

???: Let you go? Why would I do that?

Dawn: we promise not to intrude we swear

Lucas: YEAH WE WILL NEVER GO HERE AGAIN HAHA

The building starts to get warmer

???: Silly humans. I used to be like you... adventurous and kind. One day, one of my enemies burnt my families house for a joke. Let too many Lampent’s in. I never did get to see my family... my Abra... I suppose they are fine now, but you, my dear, you look exactly like the girl who took my life away.

Rosa then begins to scream

Meanwhile

Nate is still crying and Yancy tries to comfort Nate, but he tell her to leave him alone. He is crying about how he was never able to tell her what he wanted to tell her.

He decided they should go, but all of a sudden Rosa’s screams are heard from upstairs

Nate: Rosa?!

Yancy: SHE’S ALIVE!

Nate: Wait just a moment! If she is alive, then who’s-

The corpse grabs Nate’s ankle and says, “ Oh Nate-y~ Didn’t you say you loved me?”

Nate: NOT ROSA NOT ROSA LET ME GO LET ME GO

The basement begins to burst into flames on the east side

Corpse: but Nate-y~ we are soulmates. Stay with me forever and ever. You love me don’t y-

Yancy hits the corpse on the back of the head with a book and loses its grip

Corpse: FOOL YOU JUST RUINED MY HAPPILY EVER AFTER

The corpse is about to attack Yancy until Nate finds a peculiar looking shiny feather in the ruckus, which causes the corpse to flinch

Corpse: NO MY LOVE PLEASE -in the Rosa-est voice possible- I love you...

Nate hits the corpse with a nearby lamp and the corpse knocks out

Nate: Come on we have to get Rosa

Nate: -Kicks the door to the main hallway down, and sees that the ghost is lifting up Rosa and trying to stretch out her limbs or someshit-

Nate: Rosa

Rosa: Nate!

Apparently Nate’s makeup came off when it was so humid in the Strange House

???: HOW DID YOU ESCAPE?! No matter, rather than a fake corpse, I’ll just give you a REAL ONE

Rosa: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO

Dawn and Lucas were knocked out during the initial attack so they wake up now

Dawn: What happ-

Lucas: ROSA!!

Dawn: What can we do?

Yancy: I have no idea

Nate calls out his Pokemon and starts to battle the ghost because he thinks it could actually be a Pokemon in disguise. The room gets hotter each minute, but as the Pokémon distract the ghost (possible ghost type), Nate is able to get Rosa free.

Nate: Don’t worry I’ll get you out of here I promise

Rosa: Nate I... I thought you were in Alola... This whole summer you were ignoring me... I thought you didn’t want to be friends anymore... - in tears now - I thought you didn’t care about me... that i would’ve of died without seeing you again... you’re really precious to me please never leave me ever again

Nate: I...

Rosa kisses him and Nate kisses back but the kiss is interrupted by the ghost

???: Such a shame you must die you two simply were a good couple

The ghost levitates Rosa away from Nate, but then the feather in Nate’s pocket begins to glow. When Nate takes the feather out from his pocket as it shines brighter than before

Dawn: IT CAN’T BE

Lucas: IT IS

Dawn and Lucas: THE LUNAR WING

Dawn and Lucas are happy to see the Lunar Wing and Yancy is super confused

The ghost flinches and screams at Nate to get the Lunar Wing away from it. Nate then holds up the Lunar Wing in the air

???: UGHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOO

As the ghost is blinded by the light, it lets go of Rosa

Nate: Rosa!

Rosa: Yeah?

Nate passes the feather to Rosa

Rosa: I got you fam. YO GHOST GIRL. IN THE NAME OF THE MOON -Rosa does the sailor moon poses- ILL PUNISH YOUUUUUUUUUU

???: UGHHHHHH THIS LIGHTTTTTTTTT

The ghost vanishes and the house burning for a second

Rosa: HOLY CRAP I JUST DID THAT!!! DID YALL SEE THAT?!

Dawn: We are ok thanks for asking...

Lucas: -whispers- let’s never return to Unova... ever...

Yancy: -whispers- take me with you

Nate: So ugh Rosa...

Rosa: Oh hey...

Nate: Look Rosa I really need to tell you something. I really lov-

Rosa: shhh

Nate: But I-

Rosa: shhhhhuuuuussssssshhhhh

Nate: Rosa please I

Rosa: sssssssssshhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuusssssshhhhhhhhh

Nate: Rosa I love you

Rosa: shhh- WAIT WHAT?!

Nate: I love you. It took me seeing your corpse to see that I really need to tell you... before it’s too late. I remember the first time meeting you in the Battle Subway, how we fought together the Battle bosses and went out for ice cream to celebrate your big win. You’re so kind and sweet and always have this big smile on your face and you're so passionate about the things you love and everything. We went around the world together and went to Kalos and Hoenn and all these adventures and I don't want them to stop there. I'm really sorry about ignoring you during my trip to Alola and keeping everything confidential but I did bring you something. It's a Z Ring, just like mine ha ha! Of course the sailor moon colors were crazy expensive but I managed and everything ha ha!

Rosa: Nate, I can’t believe you did this all for me.. Nate I... Nate wake up

Nate: Huh?

Rosa: wake up

Nate closes his eyes and opens them to wake up in a desert-y field

Nate: FUCK

Rosa: -wakes up- morning already? HUH?! GUYS WAKE UP WAKE UP -she shakes Dawn and Lucas up-

Dawn: Ugh what happened???

Lucas: I feel like I lost 25 years off my life

Dawn: what is is Rosa????

Rosa: CRESSELIA JOINED MY TEAM

Dawn and Lucas: WHAT?????!!!!!!

Rosa shows off her Pokeball containing Cresselia as Yancy wakes up

Yancy: NATE CRAP THE MOVIE!!!!! WE WERE OUT FOR HOURS HOLY CRAP

Nate: YOU’RE RIGHT LETS GO

So Yancy and Nate run back to the set while Rosa, Lucas, and Dawn gather their things and head out. In the airport, Rosa, Dawn, and Lucas exchange numbers and all that stuff. You know say good bye

Rosa tells them how thankful she is for their help and how fun it was even though Dawn and Lucas don’t really remember what happened

All of a sudden Rosa says, “Oh! I forgot!”

Dawn and Lucas are confused. Then Rosa gives them unovan keychains to remember her by

Rosa: Im really happy that you two made my summer eventful... I had a long summer and everything and no one was there to be with me through it all... I'm leaving in a few days to a new region for a internship and I just felt like this summer was the last summer to be a kid again... going on in adventures... but none of my friends cared...

Dawn: Rosa ... I never thought...

Rosa: It’s sappy I know, but I’m just so happy you two brightened up my summer

Then the three hug it out bc of their beautiful friendship.

Rosa: Well this is goodbye!

Dawn: I’ll message you everyday

Lucas: And I’ll tell you whenever there’s a new moon based pokemon around Sinnoh

Dawn: and Rosa, you have to talk to Nate how you feel

Rosa: ...Nate...

Meanwhile

Nate finally returns to Aspertia City from a long film day and decides to to strangely stop by the outlook

AND WHO IS THERE YOU MAY ASK? It is the one and only Rosa

Nate: Oh hey! I’m back. I got some Pokemon from Alola you might like

Rosa: ...

Nate: I also got some malasadas!

Rosa: ...

Nate: I also got a new hate I thought might suit you! ...Rosa? Rosa, I’m back and here t-

Rosa: You ditched me...

Nate: ...Rosa? Are you o-

Nate tries to put his hand on Rosa’s shoulder but then she knocks it off and faces him, her face is like she’s been crying for an hour like those kinds of faces

Rosa: you ditched me on my birthday... and you knew... you never bothered to call or do whatever. You left me the whole summer almost alone. If it weren’t for Lucas and Dawn pulling off a makeshift birthday party during my week there, no one would’ve cared

Nate: Rosa I tried to come ba-

Rosa: tried to. You never told me where you were. You only told me to stay away from you and you ditched me. You only came back here because of you stupid super hero movie role with Yancy. You’ve been here for the past week and never said anything because of your stupid movie role.

Nate: Well its not like you were here either for the past two weeks

Rosa: Who cares??!!

Hugh hears everything that’s happening and hides in the distance

Rosa: Everyone ditched me, even you

Nate: Well sorry if I had to go but I told you I needed to go

Rosa: Yeah! The day before everyone ditched me so much this summer it made me feel like crap

Nate: well sorry if i did but i’m here now Rosa

Rosa: IT’S AUGUST 31ST YOU SON OF A BITCH IT’S AUGUST 31ST SUMMER IS OVER. Starting next year we will be expected of shit in training season and soon we will be adults and shit and I wanted this summer to be the last summer that we could do something and you

Rosa breaks into tears and says once again that Nate and everyone else ditched her

Rosa: It doesn’t matter anymore. I figured that since you announced your trip to Alola last minute... I would do the same. I got an internship with the Aether Foundation

Nate: YOU WHAT????!!!!!

Rosa: That’s right! You’re not the only one who will get ahead of something. Idk but I leave tonight

Nate: Rosa during my studies I-

Rosa: I don’t need your bullshit. Infant I don’t need your friendship. Dawn and Lucas are better friends than you are

Nate: Rosa listen to me

Rosa: No, you listen to me. During these almost three months you were MiA. I learnt what good friends are. Dawn and Lucas are good friends. They encouraged me to follow what I want to do and helped me through it. You aren’t a good friend.

Nate: Rosa listen to me please the Aether Foundation is-

Rosa: I’m through listening to you. I cared about you a lot and it seems you care a bullshit about me. I’m leaving tonight to Alola and to the Aether Foundation. And maybe, if i’m good enough, I’ll never come back here. Ever. Goodbye forever, Nate

So anyway Rosa leaves and Nate is so confused

Nate: What just...happened... The Aether Foundation...

Nate then runs home and calls someone from far away

???: Hello?

Nate: It’s me... remember that internship you said I would be perfect for?

???: You up for it?

Nate: Yeah... But sir, the reason I think I'm going through with it is because... I think your “daughter” is in danger...

#pokemon #newbark-town.hc #constarlations #headcanon #WE FINALLY FINISHED THIS #ITS BEEN ALMOST A YEAR #ALL BC OF ME #we blame me going to college

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nationalharmonica · 8 years ago

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untitled angst (im suffering squirtle)

Fandom: Pokemon BW(2) Word count: 2968 Warnings: SPOILERS FOR FUTURE NUZLOCKE???, Ghetsis is a remorseless asshole, Someone give N a blanket, Someone give Touya a blanket, There’s one (1) OC who is literally a Tuxedo Mask, Ghetsis doesn’t give a fuck that this is supposed to be a Black 2 verse, I don’t give a fck about typos

—

It was illogical. Impossible. No matter how he thought around it, no clear resolution came to his mind. Yet there it was, that round white stone he remembered so very vividly from two years prior, in the grasp of the man he used to call a father.

“Where did you get that?” His voice came out strangely strangled, like a hand was clamping around his throat, making it almost impossible to speak. His mind was a jumble, blurry memories and emotions churning in his mind and making him dizzy.

Ghetsis tossed the Light Stone lightly. He hummed in his throat as he tapped his cane onto the rocky floor. Looking upon N, he decided he rather liked the confused and betrayed expression on his face, even if it did remind him of the day his delicate plans were ruined by a couple of children.

The stupid boy, who he had raised to be a leader, choosing friends over the very values he had ingrained into him since the day he plucked him out of that godforsaken forest. The thought made him sour to the core. ‘Ungrateful brat,’ he thought, ‘Thinking himself superior for choosing his own destiny.’

“You should know where I got this, little urodets,” Ghetsis remarked, pointing his cane at N. “Your eyes do not deceive you for once. This is indeed the same Light Stone you fought against two years ago.”

“Don’t call me that.” N gritted his teeth at the old nickname, having since learned its true meaning. A freak of nature, something he had tried so hard to remove from his identity, tried so hard to not let affect him anymore. He of all people knew how abnormal he was, he didn’t need a reminder. “Where did you get it? Did you steal it from them?”

N said no name yet it was obvious who he meant. Those two trainers, the first humans he considered as friends, and the ones to show him he had been wrong about the world. Ghetsis smirked when he realised N had no idea what he was implying by bringing the Light Stone here.

“Revenge is so sweet, don’t you think?” He closed his eyes as he revelled in a memory from a while back; a snowy tundra in which a dark shape lay in the slush. Remembering gave him a surge of satisfaction throughout his entire body. “That exhilaration when you finally achieve your own justice. It’s a pity how quickly things can disappear, though.”

He opened his eyes to give a sharp and malicious glare. “That boy really did put up a fight, you know. Took out several of my Pokemon. I returned the favour, of course. I’ll never forget the look on his face when I froze his heart and watched him die in the snow.”

His words shook N to the core. He barely noticed when his legs gave out beneath him, forcing him to his knees. His body went numb, hardly hearing the concerned cries of Nate and Rosa. They sounded like he was underwater, and he felt unable to breathe like he was drowning. He could hear the soft pat-pat as the tears he didn’t even realise he was crying fell onto the dusty floor.

It wasn’t true. It can’t be true. No way. Just, no way would Touya let himself be killed like that, he told himself. He took a shaky breath and he forced himself to speak. “Y-You’re lying. Just like you’ve always done. Why would you say something like that?”

Ghetsis seemed not to care at his disowned son grovelling on the floor. Instead, he held up the Light Stone towards Kyurem. “Oh really, urodets? Do you really think I would bother lying to you anymore? I have no more need to deceive you, since I have nothing to gain from you.”

The Light Stone hovered off his hand and in front of Kyurem. Reshiram would not be able to burst from its confines without its Hero present, and Ghetsis took his time retrieving the DNA Splicers from inside his robes knowing that. “That infernal trainer died because I wished it so. And good riddance, he would’ve been a pain.”

“Stop it!” N clutched his head in pain, hot tears continuing to spill down his cheeks as he began to break into hysterics. “You'relyingyou’relyingyou’relyingYOU’RELY-”

“Oh for Arceus’ sake, boy! Shut your mouth for once in your miserable life!” Ghetsis sharply cut off N’s rambling chant, clearly irritated by his voice. He held the Splicers up to Kyurem also, watching it as it transformed into a device that would anchor it and the Light Stone together. “You’ve lived in fantasies too long, boy. Let me show you the true reality.”

Light filled the room as Kyurem absorbed the Light Stone and transformed. Taking upon the characteristics of Reshiram, the breath it exuded was so cold it burned the skin. It let out an ear-shattering cry that echoed off the cave walls, making the two trainers flinch. N, too far gone in his misery, did not flinch at all as he was hit head on with the screech.

As a matter of fact, N was truly already facing reality, as a flood of memories invaded his mind that he had locked well away a long time ago.

Misty windows and a cup of hot chocolate as he sat in the Pokecenter of a frozen town. Zekrom had retreated into a Pokeball, despite N’s protests, in order to escape the cold. Cries of concern echoing through the door.

“A body’s been found!”

“Someone get Nurse Joy!”

“The poor dear, he was so young.”

A person on a sleigh covered by a jacket was brought into the center. Clearly dead, and Nurse Joy pulling back the jacket to reveal a face he knew too well. Blue lips and glassy eyes frozen into an expression of pure contempt. Brown hair that used to bounce so softly now hung solid with snowflakes. They found nothing to identify him but N didn’t need them to.

He couldn’t remember what happened next, and a flush of white rushed over him. He had chosen not to remember, he realised. He had chosen to forget that Touya had died alone. He had chosen sweet ignorance over reality again, even after he had promised his first friends that he would never live a lie anymore.

N felt disgusting. A cold sweat broke out as his hands grew clammy. He felt like he had betrayed everything he had stood for since he reformed himself two years ago. Spending all this time telling himself that he’d find those two himself, never realising one was dead and the other still promptly missing. A sob racked his body as the magnitude of the loss hit him for the second time. One of his first friends was gone, and he had decided to ignore it. The thought made him hide his face in shame. He truly was just a freak.

Ghetsis paid no mind to him as he marvelled in his creation. Four metres of malicious cold energy packed into a dragon-shaped weapon. With a flick of his cane, he turned its attention to the weeping man. “Kyurem, dispose of this trash.”

Kyurem gave another deafening screech and gathered energy in its mouth. When N gave no indication of moving out of the way, Rosa made to run to him but was pulled back by Nate. “Rosa it’s too dangerous!”

“N, move or you’re going to die!” Rosa ignored Nate in favour of yelling at N. She could feel tears spilling over as he acted like he couldn’t even hear her. She ripped her arm away to charge at N. Her nimble size did nothing to budge him when she grabbed him. She tugged on his shoulders to no avail. “N, please! We need to move!”

N removed his hands from his face to show his palms were wet. “No… No… I deserve this… I betrayed them, after everything they did for me. I don’t deserve anything else.”

“ROSA!” Nate panicked from the side, torn between the cowardly instinct to stay put and his loyalty to his friends. “Rosa, please! You need to get out of the way!”

“Not without N! This is wrong, all of this is wron-” She was cut off when another cry from Kyurem signalled its intention to fire. A sharp shove to her chest knocked the breath out of her as she fell to the side several metres away. N had just pushed her away. She scrambled to her feet and made to run at him again when Kyurem finally released its energy.

“N!” She yelled, so loudly her voice was coarse in her throat. The force of the blast knocked her back again as it rushed past her, wind blowing her pigtails into her face. N was completely enveloped in the cold light Kyurem shot. She bit her lip to keep herself from crying and tasted blood in her mouth.

Nate swooped to Rosa’s side, helping her up and away as the blast died down. He didn’t know what to expect, maybe a pile of ashes, and his heart felt heavy as Rosa cried into his shoulder.

What he did not expect was for N to be entirely intact, shielded by a cloaked figure that looked like they were struggling to stay on their feet. Their arms and torso were burned by the ice cold, clothes burned away making it obvious they were a man. The golden mask he wore splintered into pieces and cascaded off his face to clatter onto the floor where a kind of dark energy congealed around the pieces, revealing green eyes.

It was the mysterious person who had appeared before them so many times before. And now his identity was known as he lowered his arms to show a soft round face speckled with brown freckles on his pale skin. It was a face none of them had seen before, but Ghetsis showed that he did.

Ghetsis regarded the man with contempt, sneering as he panned down to loom at the discarded mask fragments. “You, I remember you.”

The man struggled to catch his breath and his eyes flashed with a kind of hate. He didn’t meet Ghetsis’ gaze as he unfastened the cloak he wore, gathering the mask pieces into it before swaddling it and holding it close. “I hope you do, Ghetsis. I’m one of those you’ve wronged.”

“Oh I know plenty of those. Rather, I remember you as Hydreigon food that escaped.” Ghetsis regarded the bundled cloak with disgust. “Along with that.”

N seemed to finally realise he was, in fact, not dead, and looked up at the mysterious man that had just taken a legendary attack full force. The man seemed to notice eyes on his back and turned to face him. “Hi, name’s Maverick. I’ve heard a lot about you N, especially about how much of an ‘ass’ you are. No offense.”

N was befuddled at this Maverick person speaking to him so informally, like he had known N for years. “Uh… none taken? I guess?”

Maverick chuckled at his awkward reply before becoming stone-faced again as he turned back to Ghetsis. “I’m here to stop you.”

“Never heard that one before. What are you going to do, Maverick? You’ve got nothing but a beat up Yamask to fight with.” Ghetsis poked his cane towards the bundle he held. Of course, Nate thought, the golden mask did look like the masks he had seen Yamasks carry around while exploring Relic Castle.

Maverick put the bundle on the ground with some difficulty, complimenting the Yamask within on his good work. Standing back up, he got into a fighting stance. “Well it was never my intention to fight with Pokemon. Instead, I intend to fight you directly, unless you’re too much of a coward to face me by yourself, old man.”

“I hardly see reason to waste my time dealing with a hard-headed brat like you. Kyurem, away with these two as well.” Kyurem seemed exhausted from its last attack, instead choosing to charge forward with a physical attack instead. Maverick abandoned his stance and snatched up the cloak, making to grab N’s arm too before Kyurem twisted around almost impossibly for a beast its size, whipping its tail to catch him in the back. All three of them well flung against the wall.

N struggled for breath as it was knocked out of him and Maverick clutched the bundle to his chest as he he collided with the rocky wall, clearly winded as well. Maverick was the first to catch his breath. “H-Holy… fuck. That hurts…”

He handed the bundle to N as he still tried to breathe. N seemed confused by the sudden parcel. Maverick merely smiled and got to his feet shakily. “Don’t look so surprised. He’s been waiting for you for a while.”

He turned to the two trainers still at the side of the cave. While ripping off the tattered remains of his shirt, he gestured to N. “Hey you two! Care you remove these guys? I’ll make sure Kyurem doesn’t kick your ass.”

Unsurprisingly, Rosa was the first to jump up, followed quickly by Nate, and the two seized an arm each and marched N out of the way. Meanwhile Kyurem growled in anticipation as Maverick walked forwards and taunted the dragon. Letting out a cry, it charged at him again. This time he was prepared and dodged the attack skillfully, flipping over the sweeping tail and running to the other side of the cave with the beast hot on his heels.

N was plopped down on a rock in the tunnel of the cave, the other two trainers exhausted at dragging his unwilling body. He pondered on what Maverick had meant by ‘he’. Curiously, he undid the bundle and watched the mask pieces clink onto the rocks. Yamask masks resembled a face, he remembered. But he had no idea what happened to a Yamask when they mask was shattered. The dark goop that clung to the pieces were likely the remains of the Pokemon.

He inspected the pieces, and found some characteristics of it quite familiar. From the sprinkle of faint freckles etched onto the nose, to the thin lips he was sure he had seen smile before. A rush of hope coursed through him, and he hurried to organise the pieces while Nate and Rosa looked on confused.

Piece by piece, he connected the pieces of the mask, and more features became shockingly familiar. Close knit and thick eyebrows almost always in a perpetually frowning angle, closed eyes that he knew the colour of, even the hair that always fell onto his cheeks. A drop appeared on one of the pieces and made N realise he was crying yet again. The circumstances were very different though, and he let out a sob as the final piece went into place, showing the face that had given him so much love and pain.

“….Touya?” N barely got the name out, but the coagulated black mess quivered at the name. It seeped into the cracks, holding the pieces together as they melded into a whole again. It wasn’t perfect, and faint lines showed where the cracks had been, but the mask was whole again, and the darkness retreated underneath its dome.

N put a finger underneath the mask, and was astonished when he felt something grab onto it. The darkness burst out from beneath the mask, forming a corporeal body that opened wide red eyes. Yamasks always looked like they were crying, but this one was very literally doing so as red liquid tears pattered onto the mask it held. “N, you goddamn idiot.”

N had never been more thankful for his ability in his whole life. He made a strange noise in his throat as he grabbed the small Pokemon and hugged him, feeling the Yamask hug him back with a kind of fervour that had him slightly nervous. Pulling back he regarded the Pokemon with his face between his hands. “I thought you were dead.”

“I am dead, unfortunately.” Touya acted like like N had asked him a stupid question, as if it wasn’t totally obvious he was a Ghost Pokemon. Touya was about the let off another snarky remark when N embraced him again, planting kisses all over his ghostly face. If he could blush, Touya probably would have. “I-I think maybe you should explain! You’re getting weird looks!”

N looked away to see Rosa positively beaming with happiness while Nate looked rather confuzzled. Touya didn’t blame them; they just saw a human basically making out with a Pokemon, and even as strange as N was, he didn’t think he was exempt from judgement.

N cleared his throat and wiped his face. “Oh, uh… This is Touya. He’s one of the trainers I mentioned, well was, I guess.”

“Ass, I still have my memories, you know.”

“And um, I really liked him? And now I feel awful because all this time you were a Pokemon and I believed you were still alive.” N looked away, ashamed. Touya huffed and patted one of N’s cheeks with his hand.

“Never mind that. I don’t blame you at all.” Touya declared. N looked taken aback by Touya’s forgiveness, and his eyes grew misty and he hugged him again.

“TOUYAAAA!!” N sobbed, giving the ghost more smooches. Touya struggled to escape his arms and resorted to hiding in his mask again. N instead gave the mask kisses and Touya turned metaphorically red within it.

Nate cleared his throat. “Well this is kind of awkward to witness. Who wants to go verse an abominable dragon?”

“Nate! They’re adorable be nice.” Rosa wished she had a camera right now.

#this is... unfinished #but as far as im going #the rest is just the usual canon shit

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reticexce · 8 years ago

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yoooooOOOOOOO you all have no idea how grateful i am to reach this milestone. this blog was a reboot of alison, and i was really worried that i wouldn’t be able to play her like before since i was basically starting from scratch again, but i’m really glad to see that she ( and the boys!! ) have been accepted and loved, and i’m so happy i’ve gotten the chance to create meaningful relationships both ic and ooc!

i’ve never actually done a bias list before despite how many years i’ve been rping on tumblr, but i think it’s about time i make one since i think this blog is one of my best experiences in terms of shipping, friendships, and threading and i really should just make a shoutout to some very special people and say thank you to everyone for sticking with this blog and helping me flesh out my muses!

( MY PINGU CHILDREN )

mostly an inside joke formed in a skype chat ( tbt nerdie wormies lmaoo ) , but there’s a reason why they’re my pingu children and i’m pingu mum!

@kingofevcrything: hoooly shit can you believe we’ve known each other for like four years? practically four years?? since my first year having alison, emile and cedric?? and i’m pretty sure you had a part in me adding nate to the blog too, seeing as how his only ship is your muse lmao. i really can’t say enough about you because i think you’re just so special to me, and i hold you so near and dear to my heart. i can’t express how thrilled and grateful i am to have you still be my friend after all these years. i’ve had rp partners leave and it’s always heartbreaking especially when memorable relationships have been formed. but our friendship has passed the test of time, and i hope, hope, hope with all my might that we’ll stay friends for many more years to come, even if one of us decides to stop rping. i really can’t express how important our friendship is to me, like you really have no idea. my soul weeps for our muses and our threads. i just love you lots and i always wish for good things to happen to you, and i am so glad to be your mum. i am so thankful for our friendship, and i still really can’t believe we have so many fucking aus like holy shit wtf <33

@halsionic: my bby pingu child <3 we also have a shit ton of aus lmao and i also treasure those even if we’ve only touched on them in chat and never in thread. i also can’t express how thankful i am to have met you. pure chance had us meet, and i’m just so happy that you reached out to me. i can’t imagine us still being strangers on the dash, our muses so foreign to each other. like, alien literally coNSUMES both of us now, and it’s just so taboo to imagine otherwise. i love you to bits, especially since you’ve always been so supportive to me no matter what i’m going through. i can always count on you to help me through hard times, even if it’s just a short conversation about what’s bothering me. but i appreciate everything you’ve done for me as a listening ear. and not to mention those shitposts you send to me every day too---our friendship wouldn’t be complete without good ole shitposting and sIN. smooches from pingu mum to pingu child!! i look forward to screaming about our feelings to each other in the future!

( MY SOARING EAGLES )

those whom i also consider dear friends on this site ooc ( but we don’t have a pingu family thing going on haha )

@gloryundimmed: aaaaAAAAAA G R A Y oh my god you’re gonna laugh at me but i was really scared of interacting with you at first. like, i was so happy you liked my starter call?? because that made it super easy for us to interact?? i was really worried that we’d end up being those blogs that follow each other but never interact buT NO WAY WE TOTALLY INTERACT NOW!! and i have so much fun rping with you holy shit i really do. i get real excited whenever you reply or answer my asks ( no matter how long it’s been; you can always take your time! ) because i just adore kai and alison like---i didn’t think their ship would be so wholesome but it totally is. and i love it. i also never thought we’d be such good friends, especially since we haven’t known each other for very long, but i’m super, duper, happy that we are. like our conversations are always so interesting and non stressful, and i’m just really happy that i’ve gotten the opportunity to befriend you and thread with you! also, i think your editing and themes are hella rad. also!! i’m really looking forward to more aus with you in the future if you’re up for it, and also ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) if you’re up for it too with kai and ali ( yes i totally used this as an excuse to put in a lenny face but i also meant what i said lmaoo broADEN MY WRITING HORIZONS ). anyway!! i’m glad to have you as a friend, i love your writing, and i would totally be down for interactions with your others muses too because i think they’re also great!

@wintercursed: i absolutely adore alison and hiro’s dynamic, and i guess in a way you could say it’s sort of our dynamic too. not exactly, not perfectly, but i suppose a little piece of ourselves could be seen in our muses. ahh, i wish i could shower you in all the memes and threads you’ve ever wanted, but alas, i’m too distracted and my muses are too fickle for such a thing. but i really do love talking about our muses together and just having fun like that; the brotp between alison and hiro is one of my favorites tbh. i also!! am really flattered you see me as a friend. i’m so glad i get to call you one of mine! i get so happy whenever things go well for you, and i hope things will keep going well for you!! we may have lost touch in the last few months ( year? has it been a year? i hope not ), but i still admire you and your muse as much as i did before. fun fact: i actually followed you even before this blog! but that was before i really got a chance to interact and talk with you haha. anywho, i hope the best for you, and let’s stay in touch! <3

@travaileur / @dulcetxdreams: ro!!! ro, ro, ro, ro!!!! man i can’t even put my finger down on how we met. i guess it started on aito’s blog with the chatzys and then it moved to here when ali and eden were struggling to figure out their feelings? and you were one of their fans haha. that was a very eventful time. and now, look at where our bbies are now! claire and alison have developed their own friendship, and it is literally goals. alison is just so good to claire, and i cry it’s just so cute. our interactions have been limited with both of us being busy bees, and that’s okay! i look forward to seeing ali and claire together no matter what, and i’d love to keep talking about them more whenever you’re free! also, i always appreciate those cat pictures your send me or those bird photos you tag me in. bless, bless, those always make my day. anywho, you’re a sweetie pie and i lov u lots and i’m so happy i got the chance to meet you and have my muse have such a cute friendship with your muse. i can’t wait to see how that will develop!

@textsfromeponinet / @evangrantconrad / @whocaresaboutlonelysouls: i’m fairly certain you followed me from blog to blog! from my old alison blog to this one, i’m so glad that you decided to stick around even through the big switch. i’ve had lots of fun playing all of my muses with you, from your eponine blog and beyond! you helped me flesh out cedric in a way too, giving rise to his pretentious character now thanks to our beauty and the beast au haha. i really have to thank you for that! and now, with emile, we have such a sweet ship, and i’m looking forward to all of the cuteness that awaits! you’re such a good friend to me too, even though i stink at replying to ims, so i’m really thankful you haven’t been deterred from chatting with me. you’ve also given me such nice advice over the years, and i’m very, very thankful for your college advice <3 i hope we can remain friends and have more threads!

@ivorybled / @hyoukan: i think about how we met sometimes and like---it’s such a unique way of meeting?? like our muses both lil shits and therefore would attract each other because they would love doing shitty things together, and that blossomed into one of my favorite brotps. lanzo and aito will always be my shit because they’re just hilarious to me, and add in eden and it’s even more of a mess. but this isn’t a bias list for aito’s blog so i’ll save that fangirling for another time, but !!! i love?? your writing?? so much??? it’s a very unique style and oh my god it’s like fking poetry and i can just indulge in your writing like it’s just so good. and speaking of what’s good, you’re good!!! we haven’t talked much recently, but i’m so flattered to be one of your fave boofs bc you’re one of mine too!!! technically you’re a bird now but that’s even better because you love birds!! i always have such a fun time talking with you on ims even if it’s just a short chat, whether it’s lanzo/aito, lanzo/alison, or eru/alison because the ideas are literally limitless with you. and it’s such a blast to yell at each other about our muses and their relationship; i can feel your passion and that’s just really great okay. i hope we can keep yelling at each other and keep in touch even if we’re both busy bees, and i’m really glad we became friends <3

( MY PRETTY CANARIES )

those whom i’ve interacted with a few times ( whether recently or a long, long time ago ) and would love to stay in touch, get back in touch, get to know better! these people are also those who i see on the dash every day and sort of consider them my friends because of how long you’ve stuck with me, even i we haven’t said much to each other! but i see you liking and reblogging my stuff! hello to you too!

@cfdualities / @mostpeculiarmademoiselleetmsieur / @chichini / @silent-severity / @shiracpt / @lvmier / @vernxte / @noxuous / @gumihosverdict / @langvor / @tommy-is-the-rudest-bitch / @fornaxa / @manipulationandmemes / @princely-etiquette / @smolhoney / @shite-prosecutor / @amxrtentiia / @overoutrage / @forgottenelysium / @auccntraire / @smolbabysittingangel / @pushingthewinter / @omnecosmos / @neverforgiiven / @psuedogaiety / @likecottxncandy / @lachalaine / @nanpoghan / @bastardiised / @oshunokaminari / @dont-wake-sana / @enthrxlling / @faillte / @haperx / @we-all-burn / @togovernwithdecorum / @chvssbelle / @ffortunato / @minugahanax / @risiox / @solepaura

( MY SWEET PARAKEETS )

those whom i haven’t gotten a chance to really interact with yet ( due to busy schedules, lack of a good opportunity, being a new follower, or just me being too shy ) but admire greatly and would love a chance to write with! we may have had a handful of short interactions before, or maybe none at all, but in either case, i’d love to have more!

@stckhlmr / @godstarved / @condicionibus / @hippestbarista / @mulni / @weismanniisms / @contrasting-blood-brothers / @phlegmxtical / @charmingrebel / @cantiio / @fierydog / @perhiemate / @bathed-in-red / @parcelhoarder / @poppicede / @wondcrkid / @bloodyrogues / @cruthaich / @nightmcnsters / @bokctto / @destinsia / @elfen-archer / @pvrehearted / @corvialitis / @sakashiima / @starvd / @itaidoshin / @praeliix / @rosideae / @xnquisitor / @mahounx / @clemenstine / @siderion / @tenxcious / @drugrattes / @prideful-outcasts / @withoutviolence / @preciousyellowidiot / @atelouus / @flowersvein / @merakiis / @bcbybats / @ignirae / @popokki / @lingering-mind / @bitchidivine / @cxriseanglo / @torschlusspcnik / @chirisaku / @eraseourscars / @tillsoil / @bittersilvertruth / @hellhcunded / @hasetsui

keep in mind none of the names are in any particular order! and ahh and i know i must have forgotten some people because there were just so many blogs to look through, but even if you aren’t on this list, you’re a great writer, very special, and have lots of potential! and i love you and think you’re great! and to those who are on this list, i know i must have sounded really roundabout and probably said the same things over and over again, but really, you guys make coming onto tumblr really fun, and you all are really special people to me. i really appreciate you all for sticking with me after all this time ( and even following me from blog to blog! ) and i just can’t say how much i appreciate your support <333

also i sort of did have trouble determining if some people were canaries or parakeets but whichever one you are, feel free to hmu for interactions but i love new partners and new ideas and just meeting new people so please reach out if you’d like to! (〃＾▽＾〃)

ps do u guys like the little birbs i added to my promo bc i really do.

#follow forever #bias list #follower count #outofribbons #long post #bloWS KISSIES TO ALL OF YOU!!!!

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frontbottoms-babe · 7 years ago

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dear dr. t,

it’s really late and i can’t call you now and nobody is awake for me to call and i don’t even know who i would call if it was an acceptable time to call because there is no one who would understand this panic in my chest except you. today was really hard because i had to run out of the dining hall to stop myself from crying or screaming or being an utter bitch and then i called ahmed for a long time and we talked about my abandonment issues and why did i never tell you about my fears? why did we never *really* talk about how fucked i am because of my dad? not the “cute” stuff where i’m stronger and more adaptable, the fucked up stuff where i can’t handle normal human interactions like when people go away on the weekends or lead their own lives. my crying playlist always makes me cry more because those songs are just knee-jerk reactions at this point. i feel so attacked by myself, i keep trying to be better about all of these things i keep fucking up but i just keep returning to the way i really am.

i didn’t know how else to handle all of these feelings except pretend i’m back in your little room with the red couch and all the books and crawling vines and the sound of the metro traffic in the background. and all the legos in the corner for your little kids, the ones that always go in after me. i remember the therapist i had after my dad died, for the most part we would play games or i would tell him about my day and i used to think it was silly, how was that helping me? i wish i was back there now.

okay so you’d tell me it’s okay. that you’d be worried about me if i wasn’t having these human reactions to human relations. it’s perfectly normal to get jealous or anxious or upset or emotional. and i’m not taking it out on anybody, i left the situation so i wouldn’t say anything to sophie that i might regret because i love her and want to keep the relationship as healthy as possible. i’m not calling jacob and getting angry and let’s face it, i’m not angry, i’m sad and worried and insecure. and all the feelings i’m having, i’m feeling them for a reason.

and then you’d tell me it’s late at night and that i will wake up tomorrow with these same feelings but feel so much better after a good night’s sleep. call my mom, get breakfast, go to my classes, and then relax until i’m ready to go out with my friends. it’ll be okay. and once im ready to take care of the issues that are hurting, i will. and we can always talk about my dad. the beautiful thing about this problem is that it won’t change or go away, it’ll always be here to try and fix. i don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, that it won’t go away, but it’s comforting i suppose. i love change but sometimes consistency is the only thing you really want to have.

and then i’d leave your office feeling a lot better and i’d get in my car and roll the windows down and play my favorite music. music that makes me happy, or even music that makes me want to cry, like the day where sierra was crying about jonah so i cried too. and i’d try to be better, because what the fuck else can you do.

you were/are my therapist for four years. ever since that fight i had with nate in early february where i hid in the basement for what felt like days and didn’t turn in any of my history essays, and my mom made me go see you, and it took me weeks and weeks to even mention the name. to the night where my mom had to come in and tell you about alexia because i couldn’t make the words get out of my throat. the whole time jacob was in SUWS and you kept telling me i was one of the strongest people you knew, even stronger than most adults. and all the times i cried about my dad. because nobody fucking gets it. they really, really don’t. it’s an aching, you know? you feel complete sometimes and sometimes it’s like a hole was punched right in your chest where that part of your life was supposed to be.

i’m listening to wild horses by the rolling stones right now. do you know he used to play these songs in front of me, and we’d sing along? jesus christ some of their songs are inappropriate. and american pie by don mclean makes me think of him too. he loved beer so i would always pretend to drink it in front of him to make him laugh, even though my mother hated that i would do that. all i wanted to do was make you proud. i fucking hate beer.

i should go to bed. and in the morning i’m going to call my mom and tell her i need to start calling you or going to a therapist here because . . . well, i don’t know why except that i was stupid to think i was doing okay just because i wasn’t crying a lot. all those old insecurities and issues and weird fucking problems are still festering. i really feel like something is wrong with me sometimes. it makes me so tired to think about.

and last of all, i can’t stop thinking about rehoboth. did you know he died october 7th? he married my mom november 7th? was born may 7th? my throat is closing. the day i visited the cemetery and my grandmother’s house seems so long ago. i wish i could’ve . . .

this bad night started because of so many different issues but for some reason whenever i cry i think of you. especially at red lights. especially in the dark. especially in the basement on your mother’s beds she left me. especially when i’m crying over him. i really want a tattoo of a little g, you know? so at least you’re always there, at least a little bit. and i don’t feel so abandoned all the time.

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thehighthoughtsofhannah · 7 years ago

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July 9, 2016

7-9-16 6:54 A lot of this kids here are giving me the cold shoulder. The only one who is nice to me is Chris. Not even Will. You know when you approach and group and they turn their torso to talk then turn back around, he did that today. So I just walked away and stayed in the car. 7:27 So I'm wearing this ring and it fits nicely around my finger. When it gets wet, it gets looser, when the water dries a bit, it tightens. So once again, I have a theory. For this theory, all the objects in the world bend. But some just bend more than others. Like, everything in the world is just slowly bending as you use it but the change is so sudden that you don't feel it. Like the world turning kinda thing. And when there's water, there. A nice thic layer of water in between the object and you. But as the soon the water dries, the object bends around your finger , causing friction to slow it down. But when the water is all dried up, no ounce of moisture is left, (besides the obvious, body oils, bugs, lead bugs, etc.) the friction lifts and is removed. 7:30 Wow. That felt like a life time. Mom made me go with her to look at the board. Because dads not here. She has to always go to these things alone. I always think that Never mind. We're going to go eat now. 7:37 OKAY I THINK THAT THIS IS THE FIRST AMERICAN WEDDING THESE ASIAN PEOPLE HAVE GONE TO. Pastor Sun Ly just asked if they had 7-up or peanuts! IM CRYING! And they have a photo booth, and GRANDPA is trying to take a picture when the mc told us to SIT. DOWN. I'm screaming!!! Oh dear. And now Justine is taking selfies. And kevs mom is so annoying. She is Ravath. The exact same. She's like the white washed Asian mom that care only about what matters in this world is what people think of you. The "white" moms. Meanwhile, his dad is a fine creature. Even when he does nothing and just sits there with his chin in his palm, elbow on the table. That's why Kevin is only okay. He's half handsome dad and half "American" mom. Honestly, this is the Worst. Wedding. Ever. But they did have everyone join in on the mother son, or father daughter. And that was really cute. But mom didn't wanna dance with me haha. This mc is the worst thing ever. He's Filipino. That says it all. He's made like 5 jokes about being Filipino. Like "and I'm Filipino, I know, congrats on being on time., Filipino family I know you should be dancing., hey Filipinos are always hungry." The Filipino dad sounds so white and boring. The best man was pretty good. The maid of honor was kind of bad. They're playing A Whole New World. Kevin's mom is giving me a lecture about my fucking diet just because I put a lot of butter in my break. Like, I don't care that you got sick. I want my butter. 8:41 Awe kevs dad is talking about what a great guy Nate is. And he's comparing him with dad. And so cute how he's reminiscing. He said he loved playing basketball with him. And how he took someone's bike from his long. And now they're talking about there high school days. It's so cute. 8:47 Everyone is looking at their food so disappointed lol. Mom said "congrats Julie you look beautiful" and Kevin's mom just said the exact same thing as her hahah. 9:22 People are trying to make me go up there and catch the bouquet because they think I'm single HAHAH. 9:45 I just smoked again with Will... .....And thus, was the love story's beginning, the wedding, of mouse and fob.

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