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lazypeachsoul · 3 years ago

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I wouldn't want to spend a minute lovin' anybody else.

Warnings: this fic has some sad moments and mentions of the blip. also kind of AU because I'm completely ignoring Natasha's canon end.

Word count: 4,2k (i got very carried away with this fic)

Summary: · Meeting the right person at the wrong time can be life changing when it doesn’t work out the way we desire. But if it's meant to be it will always happen, right?

A/N: This is my fic for the "Women of Marvel xReader Exchange" created by @marvelxreaderfanfictionfest . It was created for @im-holding-ontoyou and I hope you like it! gif by @natasharomanovgifs 🌼 ALSO; i haven't watched Black Widow yet so I'm sorry if something in this fic doesn't fit the new info we got about natasha.

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New York, 2015.

When you received the call from one of your bosses that you had a new case you would have never imagined how big that case would turn out to be.

You had been working for one of the most important law firms in New York for a year now, and you were getting kind of used to reading cases that would be narrated in the papers for months. Rich and entitled men, big divorces were they fight over who gets the yacht, one or two murder cases... if it revolved around the powerful people of New York city, your firm would get it.

When you got to the debriefing and were told that Tony Stark, one of the firm's most important clients, asked your team for assistance in the creation of some legislation with the newly created “Advanced Threat Containment Unit” you were more than surprised.

The events that the Avengers had caused (or saved us from, there were different opinions going around) in the small country of Sokovia were known all around the and it was only time before the most powerful officials asked for the regulation of ‘superhero activity’.

You weren’t important enough to actually attend the meetings that took place with the government, seeing as you had only passed your bar exam a little over a year prior, but you were deemed cheerful and nice enough to act as a nexus between the firm and the client.

For months you spent your days talking to Tony Stark and other members of The Avengers trying to explain what was being talked about. The first few meetings were a disaster, seeing as the mood was somber for the lives lost and nobody really understood your legal jargon. But slowly you started to transform your language and really tried to make the meetings as easy as possible for everyone present.

But who were you kidding, they really didn’t care about the meetings or the silly attorney being sent to explain something that was way above their paycheck. Well, at least Stark was gracious enough to set a coffee station with some pastries for the meeting. You were pouring the hot liquid into your to-go cup when your hand jerked and the hot liquid splashed your hand.

You could feel the sting of the burn but avoided further sudden movements trying not to make it worse. Before you could reach for a napkin to clean up the mess you made, a more dexterous and manicured hand reached for them and exchanged the hot cup in your hand for the bunch of papers.

“Careful, Stark always serves boiling coffee. I think it’s to mask that it’s not the best quality.”

You lifted your gaze from your hand and found a pair of deep green eyes gazing back. You would have thought that spending numerous meetings in the company of superheroes would make you less susceptible to their powerful auras, but being this close to Natasha Romanoff made your heart beat a bit faster.

“Yeah, I found out the hard way.” You joked, lifting your hand a bit. “You would guess one of the richest people in the world would actually serve good coffee...”

Seeing her crack a smile made you feel less tense. Sometimes you forget they are still normal people. Normal people who could kill you with their bare hands and had superhuman powers. She placed your cup on the food table, apparently not bothered by how hot it must have been, and pushed her hand in your direction.

“I’m Natasha Romanoff.” You wrapped your hand around hers and shook it, biting your tongue trying not to tell her of course you knew her name. “Sorry I didn’t introduce myself in earlier meetings, we were all trying to come to terms with what had happened.”

“No worries, I can only imagine how hard it must have been for all of you.” You nodded and tried to show her sympathy, trying to avoid thinking about all the lives affected by the fight. “Oh sorry, I’m-”

Natasha quickly cut you off, speaking your name before you could even say it. You could feel your cheeks get warmer at the idea that they actually knew who you were, and she probably could sense your mood change because she quickly explained.

“I know who you are, you send us at least two emails a week about these meetings and FRIDAY always announces you before you arrive.”

“Who announces me?” You asked curiously at the mention of a name you recognized.

“FRIDAY. It’s the name of Stark’s AI technology. It works all around the tower and it’s there to make life easier for everyone.” She explained pointing around at the speakers strategically placed around the room.

“Oh, I get emails from Friday sometimes. Most of them are asking me to translate or explain something about the debriefing because Mr.Stark is not interested in legal terms.” Both you and Natasha laughed at the thought.

But she quickly recomposed and tried to look serious again when she heard her teammates coming in to get ready for the meeting.

“I wanted to ask you about that. Do you think we could schedule a meeting so that you could explain some things about the legislation of the A.T.C.U.?” She spoke lower than she had when the two of you were alone and you wondered why she didn’t want her colleagues to know about the meeting.

“Ye-Yeah, of course I can.” You were confused but thought it would be in your best interest, and the firm’s, to say yes to the proposal. And a meeting with a very attractive and definitely interesting woman was not something that happened constantly for you.

“Great, thank you.” She smiled warmly and squeezed your hand that you hadn’t even realized was still wrapped around hers from the introduction. “I can promise you better coffee.”

You could only hum in response, still trying to piece together what she might want from the meeting. But your thoughts were quickly cut off when Stark entered the room and you moved to start the reunion.

During the entire meeting you could feel the dull pain in your hand from the scorching coffee and the feeling of a pair of green eyes watching your every move.

Vienna, 2016.

The situation had only gone downhill from the Battle of Sokovia. The public’s opinion on the Avengers was at an all-time-low and that made terrorist groups bold. They knew that if they struck and caused enough chaos, the blame would fall on the good guys that tried to stop them.

The only thing that seemed to be a stable thing in your life was Natasha. Well, as stable as dating a superhero might be. She was busy a lot, but you understood the importance of her job and you were quite busy too gaining importance within the law firm.

And even if sometimes terrorists and criminals got in the way you still found a moment to spend together, wrapped around each other without having to think about how messed up life was.

You thought Lagos was the blow that would make everything tumble, the Sokovia accords were unveiled and it broke the Avengers, and your girlfriend. You could feel how torn she was at her decision of some of her friends to oppose the signing and go on the run, and her own decision to subordinate to the United Nations mandate. But you realized how small that had been when king T’Chaka was killed at the UN.

You had been at the UN as part of the USA legal team that participated in the writing and monitoring of the accords. Your participation in the negotiations almost broke your relationship but you were able to recover once you explained your position and Natasha actually came to an understanding of it.

Natasha was also in Vienna when everything went down, you hadn’t managed to properly see her because she was one of the signers and they sat at the assembly while other guests sat at the amphitheater watching the retransmission.

You hadn’t been able to properly see her all day, seeing as she took a detour before flying to Austria. You were only able to communicate through texts where you tried to make the situation more comfortable for her and she promised a peaceful european trip to celebrate the signing.

When the bomb went off and all hell broke loose the first thing you tried to do was look for her, she was at the epicenter of the explosion and you just wanted to see if she was okay. You saw her from afar when you were being pushed to the outside of the building while they swiped the perimeter.

She sat with T’Challa before he jumped from the bench and stomped away. Natasha looked around and your gazes crossed, immediately melting away some of the worry. You tried to push your way through the crowd to get to her, but police and security didn’t budge.

You never took your eyes off of her, scared that if you did she would disappear. But she did move her gaze to her phone and the look that crossed her face when she heard the voice at the other side told you it was a very important call.

Once the call was over and she looked at you again you knew that would probably be the last time you would see her in some time. You hadn’t known Natasha as long as some of her colleagues had, but you could proudly say you could understand what she wanted to say with just a look. And the look on her face in that moment read close to a goodbye.

New York, 2018.

It had been two years since the fall of Helmut Zemo and part of the Avengers was still on the run. And it maybe wouldn’t have had that big of an impact on you if it wasn’t because Natasha had also been on the run for that long.

You had heard about what happened at the Leipzig airport and how Natasha had changed alliances to join Captain America’s fight. You had been heartbroken at the news knowing that any resemblance of normality that you still hope for was destroyed.

You had spent months wondering what had made her change her mind. Had she thought about your conversations about the accords? Had she even remembered you, waiting for her back in New York, when she decided to go on the run?

A part of you tried to convince you of how selfish thinking about that was, why would she think about you when the future of her team and friends was at stake? But also you were her girlfriend, she should have thought about the implications that might have had for you.

In those years you had mourned your relationship and after the grieving period you tried to rebuild your life. New friends, a new position and new chances to take. And it went okay...at least until someone opened their mouth to talk about superheroes or The Avengers. Years down the line and it was still on people’s minds.

On special occasions you would receive anonymous gifts at your office or your apartment. The first birthday after the war you sobbed for fifteen minutes when you saw the bunch of flowers. There was no name or indicative of who might have sent them, that was until you looked better at the card and saw the small red hourglass painted in the corner.

The gifts continued. Every case you won, promotion, birthday or holiday a bunch of flowers would be delivered to you with the same note.

In a way it gave you a sense of peace knowing she was okay and still thought of you. But the more you thought about it the angrier you got at how she had left you.

You didn’t expect a message from your boss to run to the Avengers compound and assess some situation between Coronel Rhodes and Thaddeus Ross. Although the team had crumbled, your company was still hired to legally represent the remaining members and moderate situations that might arise with the government.

You entered the compound expecting another bureaucratic complaint about their activity but you found a trickier situation. The meeting room was filled with people you thought you would never see again.

Captain Rogers was sitting on one of the chairs sporting a new look that made you almost not recognize him and a tense demeanor. Next to him was Sam Wilson, looking around at the smallest of movements and trying to assess the situation. Wanda Maximoff was standing on the furthest corner of the room playing with her rings, meanwhile Vision was apparently being checked out for a wound. What kind of wounds a synthezoid could get was beyond your understanding.

“Thank you for coming so quickly, I might have angered Secretary Ross during a meeting.” Rhodey came up to you with a nervous smile.

You had gotten closer to him thanks to your job seeing as he was the one doing the dirty superhero work.

“Yeah, I got that much from the text. Nothing new then.” You tried to joke to diffuse the tension in the room. “It would have been nice to know you had guests though.”

“We are not guests. Last time I checked this was our home too.”

That voice made your blood freeze. You should have expected her there, all her friends had returned and the chance of her being back too was almost 100%. But hearing her voice again after two years was not something you expected.

You bit your tongue before you could talk about how it’s not a home if you abandon it, but decided against it. This was a fight between them, not Natasha and you.

“I need you to work with the government to avoid this situation becoming a disaster.” Rhodey explained and you scoffed.

“Rhodey, I’m a lawyer not a politician. I have as much power in this as you might have.” You tried to lay your point across but it was difficult with all eyes on the interaction. “Hell, I have even less power than you do.”

“Then I need you to distract them enough to get them off our shoulders.” He pressed. “Something big is coming and we need all the strength we can get.”

You thought about it for a moment. If it was true that something big was coming, the Avengers were the best option to fight it.

“I’m in.” You scoffed at his smile and sat down in one of the chairs of the meeting room. “I’m not ready for the world to end yet.”

The meeting went on for a while. You called bosses, government officials and everyone that would listen to your distractions. You sent emails that would flood their inboxes for days so that they couldn’t read any news that might reach them about what the superheroes had in mind.

It was late at night when a cup of steaming liquid was placed next to you. You looked at it and saw that it was some kind of herbal tea, probably made to relax the drinker. You followed the hand that was still holding the mug until you reached Natasha’s face.

You had done your best to ignore her looming presence in the room but now there was no distraction. Looking at her you could see tiredness in her face. She was platinum blonde now, a look that weirdly suited her, but her face still looked as welcoming to you as it always did.

You tried to stop the flashbacks to the last time you saw it in person in Vienna, but they kept replaying in your head until her voice broke you out of the loop.

“I thought you might need it, I remember how nervous calls used to make you.”

She was smiling but you could tell it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Yeah, I guess I got over it since I got my promotion. Now I spend a long portion of my day making calls.”

She hummed and sat down next two you, but leaving a chair in between you as a safe space.

“I read about it in an article, I sent you flowers to celebrate.”

“I got them. And the Christmas ones. On my birthday too.” You enumerated the times you had gotten the plants in the past two years. “You must have spent an awful amount of money buying me so many flowers.”

“You deserved it, you still do.” She shrugged and that’s when you noticed she had her own mug of warm tea in her other hand. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to celebrate with you.”

You laughed into your mug sarcastically. Out of everything you expected her to say this wasn’t one of them.

“Did you really? Because you didn’t seem to consider me much when you went on the run for two years.”

Natasha paled when she heard your tone. She probably wasn’t used to situations like these but you weren’t going to let her go without an apology at least.

“I was trying to do the best for-”

“-for the world. I get it, Natasha, I do.” You tried to contain your emotions but it was getting harder with every word. “Relationships are supposed to be teamwork. I know you are always too busy playing heroes and I never judged you for that, I just wish you would have trusted me enough to tell me before you disappeared.”

She was silent and knowing Natasha it’s because she was probably overwhelmed with the display of feelings. But she needed to hear how bad you had felt.

After minutes of waiting for an answer from her and getting nothing but sighs you shook your head and looked back at the computer screen.

“I guess it was a case of the right person, wrong time.” You shrugged trying to find distraction in the flurry of letters in your email inbox. “Or at least it was for me.”

She got up from her seat without a word and you grew exasperated. Why had she even approached you if then she wasn’t willing to have an adult, two sided conversation? She was almost at the door when you heard her voice again.

“Please never doubt how much I love you. I made some bad choices but dating you was not one of them.”

New York, 2024.

Time apparently flies by when you are erased from the face of the earth. One day you are in your office working late and the next you appear five years in the future with no recollection of what might have happened.

You were taken by authorities to impromptu camps and one by one examined to check your identities. The entire thing seemed to be something out of one of the dystopian novels you used to read as a teenager.

When it was your turn you gave them all the information you had on what had happened. You had given them your name and personal information and apparently had been a very searched person because the computer started beeping as soon as your name was introduced in the database.

You were moved to a secluded part of the camp and kept in an isolated room for god knows how long. Your stomach was in knots during the entire situation and you could feel the cold sweat on you. That mixed with the metallic taste on your tongue you knew this time your anxiety was justified. You were almost dizzy because of how hard you were thinking about the entire situation and trying to make sense of it.

When you heard the door of the room open you jumped up, discarding on the floor a makeshift blanket that had been placed on your shoulders when you got there. Your legs almost gave out at the movement and your heart felt like it was going to burst out.

The door opened enough for you to see who had been searching for you. Natasha stepped through the door still dressed in her tactic gear and with tiredness written all over her face. But that feeling seemed to almost disappear when she finally saw you.

With quick movements she stepped into the room and wrapped her arms around you tightly. For some reason that action was the trigger that you needed to let all your emotions consume you.

You started sobbing uncontrollably at the unknown. You didn’t understand what happened or how you are here, but feeling her embrace helped you feel safe in a way. It had been years since you last hugged her but it still felt as good as back in 2015.

You could hear Natasha’s soothing shushes in between your sobs and you moved to hold her tighter.

“You are here. I can’t believe I found you again.” She spoke softly and you didn’t know if she was speaking to you or herself. “It’s okay darling. I’m here and I’m not letting you go again. I promise.”

And with that promise a ray of hope made way between all the fear you felt.

Missouri, 2025.

Soft music could be heard all around the ground floor of the house. The soft beat was upbeat enough to get the morning started but not enough to be overwhelming if you had just woken up. You were sitting on the kitchen island looking at the news on your phone and having breakfast.

Mornings were usually very calm around the homestead and you couldn’ be more thankful for that. It allowed you to silently prepare your breakfast and coffee and get a headstart on Natasha’s breakfast too.

Since she had retired, Natasha had discovered a newfound love for sleeping in and you didn’t dare to take that away from her. She deserved it from all the work she had done in her life.

You, meanwhile, tried to get up early to scroll through the cases that you got in your new and smaller job and schedule meetings or emails.

It was a Saturday so work wasn’t a thing and you could actually enjoy your toast and coffee in peace. Or at least until a pair of arms wrapped themselves around your middle and pulled you back against Natasha.

“Good morning baby, how did you sleep?”

“Like a baby.” You could feel her smile when she kissed your cheek from behind. “You weren’t there when I woke up though.”

You shrugged before moving to get a bite out of your toast. Natasha tried to do the same but you quickly moved it away from her with a smile. She tried again and you moved as fast as your reflexes allowed you.

“C’mon baby, give me a bite” “No, it’s my toast. You can make your own.” “But it tastes better when you make it.” “No it doesn’t, don’t be lazy.”

The playful fight continued for a few moments until she got close enough to get a small bit but you moved it again.

“Don’t make me bite you, darling.”

You chuckled at her threat and plopped the remaining toast on the plate in front of you. Breakfast didn’t matter much anymore. You threw yourself into her arms and pressed your lips against hers. It wasn’t a slow and sensual kiss, it was closer to how small kids smooch their parents. But you knew it would convey your love more deeply.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Nat.” You spoke against her lips and squaked when you felt her playfully nip at your bottom lip.

“Is now a good time?”

That question had become recurring in your household, a nod to the phrase you said when you found eachother again after being separated the first time.

“I couldn’t think of a more perfect time.”

And you couldn’t. The rest of your life spent in a homestead with your girlfriend and whatever life might bring? It sounded absolutely delightful.

Taglist: @tagehaya @flyforeverfree @rooskaya-yelena @evalynanne @insanitybyanothername @princessayveke @yelenabelovasgf @kyli314

#natasha romanov x reader #natasha x reader #natasha x you #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #black widow imagine #marvel imagine #marvel fic #marvel x reader

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wooahaes · 2 years ago

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im brand new to caratblr, so i have no way to compare a before & after, but lately i feel like smut writing has been taking over fandom in general. (which sucks for someone like me, who 99% of the time does not enjoy nsfw content & generally actively avoids it). and i feel like no matter what the actual reason numbers change, we're always gonna blame ourselves? bc i feel like that's just kind of the default for creatives. (also i hope you know i love ur writing, i have a lot of it q'd up ssksjf)

know that i'm probably gonna go through ur masterlist later (i peeked and read ur dk drabble and its SO cute omg, if i don't reblog it later today then u can beat me up behind a wendys)

i'm not really sure where i'd fall on stuff like this since i only actively joined caratblr back in march and started this blog like. soon after (i was originally just gonna make gifs lmao). but i like to think i've been here for enough time that i can comment on stuff like this (plus there's people who i think have definitely been here waaay longer who feel the same way as me).

i hope no one thinks i'm bullshitting them when i say that it's completely fine to write smut? like i said in my original post, i do it too (i don't broadcast tht sideblog here bc 1. i know i have minors following me, if someone sends an ask off-anon i'll privately reply w it and 2. i'm not gonna constantly write for it since it's just something i do for fun and to get some feedback), no shame in it as long as you're tagging properly + using a readmore. trust me, i don't traverse tags often but every time i do there's always mistagged stuff that's fully there. sometimes it's like... waaay more hard than other stuff tho and i wish people would use a readmore.

it does suck for both ppl who avoids nsfw content + minors. smut is fun to write an all, but idk i'm the kind of person who likes to write more plot-oriented stuff ig? or just domestic fluff. stuff that makes people happy.

but yeah! i fully get that. i think it's kind of in our nature to wonder what we're doing wrong even if audiences change. it's shitty and usually not a manner of thinking i fall into often, but despite like... the followers and the support i've gained over the past few months, it's hard not to notice when i stop seeing familiar names pop up in my notes. some people i think drifted from tumblr entirely (genuinely fair, have fun away from this hellsite lmao, (key voice) PLEASE save me from HERE skdfhsd) while others i think might have just changed their tastes. other people are genuinely busy.

it's just hard to not wonder and start to blame myself for stuff.

#wooahaes.ask #savventeen

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angiethewitch · 2 years ago

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Hi-

I just recently realized that I very well might have schizophrenia, ngl I'm still like. Ass deep in denial. But I wanna move past that, yknow?

So I guess what I'm asking is uh. Do you have any tips for moving towards acceptance?

im still kinda in the process of working that out myself, so I'll give you what I've found works for me so far but I do recommend therapy if it is accessible to you, how I am learning to accept my illness is through therapy so my methods might not work for you, as therapy is highly personalised.

firstly, I researched the fuck out of my illness. learning that the things I do is actually a Symptom helped. it's important I feel to not pathologise every aspect of your life - that can be counterproductive in many ways, and sometimes it's just a human experience and not a symptom - but ive found it to be helpful to learn im not an inherently bad person, and that im not alone in experiencing these symptoms.

secondly, find a community. it doesn't need to be schizophrenia specifically, but psychotic illnesses are extremely isolating and make you feel abnormal so combat that the best you can by having a community. for example, where ive moved has lots of activities and clubs. im gonna join the library and maybe attend an art group. if you get therapy your therapist can help with finding activities for you too. DONT do what I did when I was younger and base your community entirely off similarly fucked up people with a culture of drink and drugs. find a healthy space for you to be.

thirdly, if it is at all safe and possible, be open about it. it's hard. but I am very open about my schizophrenia here on this blog and with my friends and family. they all know I have this illness. I talk about it a lot here. for so long I was in denial and treated my schizophrenia as a dirty secret, something shameful to be hidden away, and that only fostered the denial. fake it till you make it worked for me. if I act like im open and accepting of my illness, eventually I will be. just being able to talk about it in casual conversation is helpful for me to accept it. my friend asks how I am and I say its a "loud day". I have told my friends and family they can ask me about the illness if they're curious. ive done little segments on a twitch streamers streams where I call in and discuss my illness live. it normalises it not only for others, but for me too.

my birth mother has schizophrenia so she is intimately familiar with the illness and that helped too. i know I can message her with my insanity and she'll understand and not be judgemental. you'll find someone like that too and that helps. you can message me if you like. we don't even have to talk about schizophrenia, it just helps to know someone who understands. just be warned, im not fantastic with replies recently, as my lovely Internet friends can tell you!

finally, learn to stop viewing your illness as a separate entity. I viewed it as this monster trying to take over my life for the longest time. I was constantly beating it back. but my schizophrenia is a part of me, it always has been. if I beat it back, who am I actually beating? that's right, myself. im only hurting myself. your illness, schizophrenia or otherwise, is not an evil dark shadow tormenting you. it is a part of you. learn to approach this ill part of yourself with compassion and understanding.

but I am always here. and hey, im proud of you for messaging me. Guess what? you messaging me is the first step to acceptance. you have an illness and that's okay.

#anonymous #schizophrenia

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honeybeekao · 2 years ago

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Top 10 enstars relationships (doesn't have to be romantic!)

im so glad i can draft ask responses because i cannot do this all in one go, im not that insane

1. madarei - who would've guessed! i know ive sorta defined myself with them, which wasnt intentional but i'm very very fond of characters who help eachother feel more human, and worthy of life. putting self sacrificial little gay people together is my favorite thing! they care too much about others it makes me lose it. i feel like the way madara can't not hate certain people contrasting with how rei can't not love certain people is interesting. i think the way they both retreat from connection because of how they view themselves as evil monsters is heartbreaking. they were both driven overseas at age 17 and grew up in weird situations. i think they deserve a break, both need more sleep and love, and they should also kiss probably

2. oh god here we go with the kaoru relationships chiakao - theyre so gay and stupid and oblivious are you Kidding me. chiaki's head over heels actually and kaoru has no idea. he also will not acknowledge how much he cares about this sunshine boy or why he feels the need to call him a sunshine boy and i feel like every pairing w kaoru is just trying to win kaoru over. get him to realize he also has a heart that beats a little too fast when in the same room as certain people. date plan is my favorite story is it obvious have i said this before idk i love kaoru so many people love kaoru Hey kaoru. there's a fic i really love where kaoru takes care of chiaki's wounds during 2nd year and it's so good. it establishes that chiaki is on his radar, but he wont acknowledge it and chiaki's just like 0_0 the entire time. i feel like kaoru's proud of him for how far he's come and that's probably a mutual feeling since they both changed a lot.

3. the oddballs - they make me sad catch me sobbing over the oddballs bot on twitter, their entire story is so aighdfgddgkxdg Flails hands in the air! kanata feels like the center to me despite rei's existence just because of how important the student council taking control of the fish cult is. taking lonely characters with extreme talent and skill n isolating them more is so evil and kanata specifically just???? adhhhghhghgghughh definitely appreciates and loves the others as dear friends, the beginning to him and shu's relationship is interesting to me of Course shu doesn't like him originally. but they have similarities in that they grew up with no friends, just one was praised and worshipped while the other was bullied. big difference there. also good lord my memory on everything with wataru is failing me right now just know i really like the oddballs. REI AND WATARU IN AQUARIUM MADE ME SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY.

4. reikao - are they popular and basic to some people? yeah. do i care? absolutely fucking not i love them, platonic or romantic it doesnt matter i really like them and i have a kaoru polycule rotating in my brain. i think the way rei gave kaoru the chances he needed to establish his identity as an idol is amazing and rei is soooo fond of him. so unbelievably fond of him <3 kaoru being able to get past his fear of commitment because his need to be helpful is stronger means everything to me, him helping rei out with leading undead. jzjfdjgkg loses my mind

5. crazy:b in general - theyre so dysfunctional i cant believe they manage to make it work. but at the same time i'm just incredibly fond of them. the way himeru sees kohaku as similar to kaname makes mecgkdhfhfh OUHGHHFFHHGG and the way kohaku does in a way reciprocate that brotherly affection. specifically loved when he was like "hey guys! listen t'himeru!!" rinne and niki are a disaster theres something so horribly silly about niki being at the center of madness constantly. poor guy. and it's not even that himeru and kohaku are necessarily disasters, it's just that rinne likes him most so he ends up the center of chaos. also he's the one working a normal job DGJDFJFDJ i think they all think too much and should voice their thoughts more, that'd solve many problems. im looking at rinne directly.

6. chiakana - ohhhh themmmmm the beloveds the angels i wanna cradle them in my arms. married couple but the happy married couple. i said this before but chiaki absolutely gets hurt constantly performing tricks, and kanata scolds him for not being careful and i think theyre best friends for life!!! i Love that chiaki teaches kanata so much and i love that like. chiaki meets this weird lonely guy and cares about him . chiaki has a big heart chiaki would risk drowning a million times to save kanata. THE LINE WHERE KANATA BECOMES RYUSEI BLUE MELTED MY HEART oigh ryuseitai OUHFJDHH also them hugging. that's all.

7. reikei - i try not to let them make me sad but if it happens it cant be helped... divorced </3 the way that rei still thought of keito as a childhood friend while keito was just overcome with jealousy Man keito has made a lot of mistakes in his life tjdjfjgjg my eloquence on this is so gone i think everything with deadmanz is a fucking nightmare rei im so sorry. i do think they can reconcile, like u say the enstars characters are really young and have an entire life ahead of them. i think about your reikei drabble when i think about them because it's cute and i love how you write keito

8. izukao - my friend got me into them Really fast, but then dance on ice ruined my life and now i need to see kaoru talk to izumi more. they constantly wanna impress eachother and kaoru is so casual with him it makes me lose it. the fact that izumi says kao's only redeeming quality is his looks? i dont believe you. you Gotta at least commend him for his dedication to u. i think kaoru's in love with him he just doesnt know it also i love their nicknames for eachother ALSO ADDING IN CHIAKI 3A trio my beloveds!!!! theyre disasters Ough. i love kaoru this entire post is just a lovepost to ksoru. he deserves so much love all these bitches love kaoru

9. narumika - Sidenote why is narumika the popular name and not aramika? is it because of the name naruchan and the fact she prefers that? it feels like a tododeku situation w inconsistent ship names but anyway awwwawwawaw theyre ride or die friends for life mika is arashi's poor little meow meow i forgot who said this to me but theyre So right. mika could do anything and arashi would not bat an eye, she'll support him til the end! the way she worries for mika's wellbeing is really sweet, and i think it's so good she's there for him. i'll admit i havent gotten too far as far as seeing/reading canon moments but know i will one day because im fond of them

10. rei and a forehead kiss goodnight

#enstars #once again not proofreading but i think.im good #clockwork 🕷#enstars tag

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sortavibing · 4 years ago

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helloo!! i would like to request a male romantic matchup if thats alright :)? there r so fun to make and i wanna know who i'd be best with LMFAO. my name is siena and my pronouns are she/her and im bi! i'm tiny (5'2) and filipina with long dark hair with bangs and dark brown eyes. i'm a taurus and an enfp-t.

oikawa is one of my top kins and i think kenma is pretty high on my list too. my top kin is marceline from adventure time, idk if that really makes any impact but !! im a pretty upbeat and passionate person, id say! i'm social and love to be with my friends, and am the type of person to start a convo easily. and i tend to be on the more talkative and extroverted side? i'd also say i'm very very sarcastic and super stubborn and self-assured. i'd say im a pretty emotional person, or i'm intuitive with my emotions, and try to help others to be the same. i hold myself to a high standard, especially academically, so i tend to do well in school.

i really like fashion and dressing up and putting together outfits overall, as well as music and singing. i've been a singer for as long as i remember and it's one of my passions!! and i've always loved music too. i also like movies and tv, playing guitar, and staying up really late (i'm a huge night owl).

in relationships, i tend to lean towards best-friend dynamic relationships in a way? someone i truly can be myself around and be super lazy and low-key with. just being in their company but still having fun with them is my dream. my love language is honestly insults and a sense of humor; im very sarcastic and appreciate someone who i can insult the crap out of and i'll receive the same energy back. i also really appreciate little acts of kindness instead of big gestures; i'm an outgoing person but always more private with my romantic relationships. i've never been too into pda / mushy (??) type stuff in general but little, private moments together are always really cute. i would love someone who i could go on midnight adventures with but also stay home late talking and listening to music. <333 thank u so much in advance!!!

hi siena! thank you for requesting! i wish i was doing well in school😐 i aspire to have motivation like you- anyways, here’s your matchup!

i match you up with tsukishima!

what first drew him to you was that you were sarcastic just like he was, so he wanted to get to know you better so you guys could absolutely demolish hinata with just petty comments and shady insults. it also helped that you are pretty extroverted, because you were easily able to help him get to know you better.

you and tsukki do not hesitate to insult each other at every chance possible, and they get so intense that yams is always on standby because he thinks you guys are going to beat each other up, but you and tsukki both know that the insults are your own special way of flirting with each other.

tsukishima isn’t too big on pda either, because he thinks publicly affectionate couples are gross and a little cheesy, but he still likes to hold your hand, or lock pinkies when you guys are walking around with each other, because he wants to show everyone that you are his and his alone, without being too over-the-top about it.

the first time you sang in front of him. he stopped what he was doing and just stared at you, because he was amazed about how good you were. after you noticed that he was staring, he told you to keep singing, and while you were singing, he secretly recorded it, and now he listens to it with his headphones whenever he wants to hear your voice.

since both of you are pretty smart, you guys always study together, taking turns choosing the music, sharing notes and snacks, and reviewing everything you guys need to know. the sessions are actually really helpful, and sometimes yamaguchi joins in to cram on a new topic you guys just learned.

since tsukishima is a foot taller than you, he constantly makes fun of you for being shorter, and if he sees you are trying to reach something that is too high, he will not hesitate to pick it up and take it for himself, or hold it just out of your reach, because this bitch loves to make you struggle and get mad at him.

one of your favorite dates you had with tsukishima was when he wanted to take you out for dinner, but the restaurant he was planning to take you was all booked, so you guys had to take a train to another place to find a restaurant, but when you got there, it was closed, so you guys spent almost the rest of the night trying to find a place to eat, and when you finally did, you found the best restaurant you ever have been too, which made the night actually pretty good, because the entire time you were searching, you guys just talked about whatever you wanted, and tsukki visited a small shop to buy you a little gift while you looked for a restaurant.

please help tsukishima learn how to dress well- like have you seen the official art? concerning i tell you. tsukishima first didn’t really like that you were giving him fashion tips, because he thought he dressed well, but after a while, he finally listened to you, and when he wore the outfit you put together for him, he actually really liked it, so you are now his personal fashion consultant.

every few weeks, you and tsukki have a movie night, where one of you chooses a movie, and for the entire show you guys just roast the hell out of the characters and their decisions. there is only one series of movies he refuses to insult, and that is the Jurassic Park series. you make fun of him for it, but he just ignores you because he thinks that they are amazing movies.

overall, you guys are a couple that don’t have to be super romantic or sappy to still enjoy each other’s company, and you both trust and respect each other a lot. you guys also aren’t afraid to call out each other’s shit, or just make fun of them, because both of you know that you don’t really mean any mean thing that you say to each other, which is a really fun dynamic to have in a relationship.

i hope you enjoyed!

#haikyuu #haikyuu matchups #tsukishima kei #tsukishima headcanons #haikyu #haikyu matchups #tsukishima x you #tsukki #tsukishima imagines #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #haikyu imagines

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dontyouhearmehowling · 5 years ago

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oh my god. Ok so I just scrolled through your blog and my heart hurts because there is so much love and just so much stuff I can relate too and I just ahhh damnnn it I cant even but like can I please have the story of your relationship with this girl your with? please? i'm a hopeless romantic I feel too much I love so hard my own love life is complicated but i know the kind of love you talk about thats exactly how i love the love of my life too so yours is a story I need to hear

ok so. it all started on April 31st, 2018. i reblogged one of those ask games and she sent me an emoji that said “i’m too scared to talk to you but i think you’re great” and i was like do it!!! and she did!!!! she texted me after i had already gone to sleep tho, so i only answered the next day. but then we talked all day. and the next. and the next. and we never ran out of things to talk about and even only knowing her for a few days i already felt comfortable enough with her to talk about anything?? it was wild. since day 1 we’ve had this connection that i’ve never had with anyone else and its my favorite thing in the world. after like a week we already had a bunch of inside jokes, something that i’d never had before, and i was already crushing on her. ok so we became very close friends like immediately, and i mostly ignored my crush on her bc i thought she didn’t like me back and usually i’d get meaningless crushes on everyone at first before i met her. but then this other girl and i started flirting and i realized i didnt like her bc i liked c too much, so i broke things off and kinda went like “oh shit this is real” and decided that i’d just stay friends with c until i eventually couldnt take it anymore and had to tell her abt my feelings bc thats how i am. anyways ok cool meanwhile i made her watch the good place on rabb.it with me which will be relevant later.

ok so fast forward to may 21st or something around that time. its time to sleep bc i have school the next day so we say goodnight, but then i guess she says something or reblogs something and i get sad bc i realize she doesnt like me back. so i make some hashtag sad posts abt yearning and then i realize i told her i was going to sleep and i didnt want her to think i didnt want to talk to her so i text her again and say like “ok i was going to go to sleep but then i got sad abt my crush” and SHE GOES “you have a crush????????” and im there like. what in the hell bc not only did i not try to hide it At All, i constantly posted about it and had an entire tag about her and i thought it was pretty obvious. so anyways i go “yes?? i thoought you knew that?? im literally always posting about it??” and she asks me to talk abt the crush and who it is. i say “just stalk the tag if u want, im going to sleep” then shes like “nO WAIT WHO IS IT” and im like. blatantly ignoring that and my heart is already beating out of my chest but she Really wants to know and then at one point i say “please dont make me answer that” so shE SAYS “you’re making me think that its me” and i say “i dont know what you want me to say” and SHE GOES “I WANT YOU TO SAY THAT ITS ME BC I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU” so i just. die. right then and there. also yknow we talk about it and its like after 1 am and im just happier than i’ve ever been. ok so 2 days later she asks me out Officially and its great and shes the cutest gf ever and she made me feel more wanted than i’d ever felt in my entire life. then 6 days later she sends me a big big big text on tumblr and long story short (bc it was kinda personal), she would be deleting her all social media for the summer.

so she was gone. and we had only dated for a week at this point, but we’d known each other for 2 months, and i already loved her. i already knew she was the love of my life. i didnt even try to move on, i’d tell people i didnt wanna move on cuz i knew i was meant to love her. i had another blog like this that i used to talk about how much i loved and missed her (so like. exactly like this). i literally reasoned with myself that like. that happened because before i met her i was in a really bad place after a terrible relationship and i was almost giving up on finding someone who actually made me feel loved bc i thought it would never happened, so i was like “ok so i was in a really bad place, so the universe brought my soulmate a little early just for a while so that i would know i had to hold on, and when its actually time for us to be together, it will bring us to each other once again” like i actually told myself that, in those words. and yknow what? i wasnt even wrong. on july 15th she texted me from an empty tumblr with her old url and at first i literally couldnt believe it but we talked for hours and hours and i asked her what happened bc i thought she was disconnecting for the summer and she said “i was. i am. i just couldnt not talk to you anymore” and she said that she thought about me every single day, and i told her i missed her and she said she didnt text sooner bc she thought i’d be angry at her and ofc i wouldnt, i could never be angry at her and besides, she was just taking care of herself and i said i dont think i could be anything less than head over heels for for, and she said she felt the same way, but wasnt ready to be more than friends yet. but that had always been more than enough for me. just having her in my life would always be more than enough for me. so we stayed friends.

then, on august 9th i got this ask.

and she saw it after i said i was gonna go to bed (bc again, i had school the next day) and she texted me a whole thing about how that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about her and that i should be asleep but she had to get it out of her chest and that her anxiety made it hard for her to show how much i meant to her so she was sorry if i didnt know and this would probably make no sense but she was tired of keeping it to herself bc shes the luckiest person alive for having met me and that it was gonna be so hard because shes so difficult (shes not) and her anxiety is difficult but that she literally spent every night thinking about me and of buying plane tickets to come see me so that she could be with me. then she was like “im sorry if this is uncomfortable to you and you can just ignore it but i think im in love with you and this is over text and not romantic at all (it was the most romantic night of my life) but you’re asleep (i wasnt) and we arent together but i want to be one day” and until this i was Trying to fall asleep and then i checked my phone that kept RINGING and died a thousand times over and started to answer and she sent other texts saying “i’ve never felt this way about anyone before i’m so in love with you its fucking ridiculous and this is gonna be so complicated but fuck i want this so bad / i’m sorry it took me so long / would you move to new york with me?” and i was This Close to literally fucking exploding like. how the hell was this happening how was it not a DREAM. so we talked and i obviously said i loved her too and eventually she asked me out and thats still probably the best night of my life. other highlights: “i’ve loved you way before august 9th so jot that down” and “off topic but i love you / you’re honestly my other half” and, after i said “you cant make me laugh its 2am”, she answered “i’m going to make you laugh for the rest of your life so help me god” and thats my favorite thing anyone has ever said to me probably and so far she’s kept her word.

anyways we got back together and then she told me that she never even told her friends she broke up with me??? bc that way she could keep pretending we were still together???? literally like sjdksndk imagine being this loved. i dont have to. anyways she wrote poems abt me sometimes and her christmas gift for me was gonna be a book with all her poems and she called it “what we owe to each other” because of the good place (remember how i said it’d be relevant later? its later) bc like she said that when we were watching tgp together on rabb.it thats when she realized that she Really Truly liked me like For Real. and the inscription on the book was going to be “to the girl i love / and what i owe her” and. yall. i cry. anyways one of the poems had a huge impact on us. heres the story:

and she got them but we broke up before she got to mail them to me. what happened was she had some mental health problems and she said she couldnt give me what i needed at the time but knew i’d still give her my all bc thats just how i am and she thought it wouldnt be fair so she broke things off to work on her mental health. she said she would need some time before we could be friends. the last thing we said was that we loved each other. this was in like november 2018, and we didnt talk for months. i actually tried to move on this time after a while, but it didnt take. and then i gave up for good. havent tried since. but anyways, then, on march 11th, 2019, i had my first day of college back in my home country, and we have this “pranks”/games that seniors get to do to the freshmen, and one of them required eggs, and they asked us to paint them, so i panted mine as iron man bc it was easy, but c LOVES iron man. like. LOVES. like in a Whole New Level of loving. once when we were dating she said she loved me more than tony stark and i was like. shook. like she tattooed “T.S” on her ankle after him. u get the point. she loves him very much, its adorable and endearing and i love it. anyways. so i sent her a picture of it saying like “you dont have to answer this but i made this for my university and i thought you would like it” and she answered and IMMEDIATELY something clicked and we talked and talked and talked and it was never weird or awkward or uncomfortable. it never is with her. its incredible, i cant explain it. i Know shes my soulmate like thats the ONLY possible explanation for this kind of connection. its unreal. anyways. we became friends again! all was well.

then one beautiful night she drunk texts me sndjkajs she sends me so many texts and says it sucks that we live so far away and that she saw my posts (in this particular case, one that said something about like. when she talked about love now, was it about someone else?) and she said that it wasnt. and then she went to sleep and i only saw the texts when i woke up and i was DYING bc we had a 4 hour difference and it’d take a while for her to wake up. when she did, we talked and she said she wasnt over me and was scared she might never be, and even though we were still gonna stay friends, it was nice to know that she still loved me. ok so fast forward a bit more and i was starting to wonder if she’d moved on again, when she finds out her best friend had a crush on her, and that conversation ends up with her saying “it was 100% platonic for me / sorry if thats weird i just wanted you to know that” and it was NOT weird it was GREAT NEWS bc i was Hella jealous of her best friend and at first i wondered if they were dating and anyways the fact that she wanted me to know that was a pretty good hint that she still had feelings for me. ngl im still somewhat jealous of h (c’s best friend), but thats just bc im an insecure lil bitch and also bc they get to go out and do stuff together that i cant do with c bc of the distance, yknow? but anyways. then she went on a graduation trip in mid to the end of june and she bought me a magnet. just. out of nowhere. i cannot stress enough how Incredibly unexpected this was. so much so that i actually convinced myself that it meant she was over me????? literally. what the fuck. anyways we named him together and coincidentally (or bc of soulmate powers. who knows) we both had the same favorite names. i still love that.

okay so then we go to july 29th, 2019. first of all theres one of my favorite interactions Ever which was like after i was venting about something and i was thanking her and i said “you’re always here for me” to which she answered “nowhere else i’d rather be” and i still think thats peak romance and i will take no criticism on this. anyways so then she sent me a poem that she wrote based on a song i’d sent her (the song i called “heaven is a place” and its the BIGGEST mood for being in love and i sent it to her bc it was how i felt about her so her writing a poem about it?? literally the best thing ever. love it) anyways it was a beautiful poem and i cried and got very emotional and kinda went too far in my compliments (aka being very obvious about my romantic feelings) and then i was like oh no sorry if i made u uncomfortable and she was like. “you have NEVER. EVER EVER EVER EVER made me uncomfortable” “you’re the only person on planet earth i am comfortably myself around” and “there’s nothing you could ever say that i wouldn’t wanna hear” and anyways it was just very good and romantic conversation even tho we were just cough cough platonic hashtag gal pals hashtag no homo ✌️ and then she was like ok wait. i need to talk to u abt something. and in short she said she was waiting for us and i was like well what are you waiting for exactly? and she was like idk?? for us to accidentally bump into each other in new york in a few years?? WHICH WAS LITERALLY WHAT I’D DAYDREAM ABOUT BACK IN JUNE 2018 BEFORE SHE CAME BACK OKAY so anyways we had a Great conversation and said i love you about a thousand times each and she decided she was gonna buy tickets to come see me. and then she dID like TWO DAYS LATER. lichrally. queen of impulsivity but in the best way possible.

—————

ok quick edit here cuz i forgot to say that when i found out she was coming i asked for my mom’s help to make a necklace pendant for her from scratch. my mom works with prosthetics so she has the material to make jewelry and back when c and i were dating in 2018 i had made this lil design for a necklace that had the moon and the ocean (bc duh) and i was gonna give it to her for valentines day in 2019 but we broke up before that so i didnt get the chance, but when i found out i was meeting her i knew i had to. so i made the necklace in wax, like this:

and my mom took it to her work and heated it up to melt it and keep the shape of it to fill with silver, and this was the result:

i gave it to her when she got here and she wore it while she was here and it made me so happy. ok edit over

—————

ok so we kept being like couple-y but not officially in a relationship bc we didnt want to make her anxiety worse. also at one point she was like “so about the ‘i love you more than the moon/ocean’ thing, since we BOTH love BOTH of the moon AND the ocean, i think its only Fair if we update our love declarations to ‘i love you more than the mocean’ bc its mix of both but thats not a word, buT its pronounced exactly like ‘motion’. therefore we should both start saying ‘i love you more than the motion’”. so now we have both the wonderful, romantic, original version, and the NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL DO U HEAR ME C??? version :) and after this day she always started with the WORST!!!!!! version, and i always started with the Only Valid Version, but we’d still answer each other’s ofc because. well. thats love i gues?? it sorta goes like this though: her: i love you more than the motion / me: i hate u / me: i literally hate u so much / me: i Also love you more than the motion

but anyways she was coming to visit me but the plane ticket wasnt for my home country it was for where i was going to university at (a new university, i was starting over) and when i first got here on this campus, i didnt have a working phone number for this country, and i wouldnt be able to access the wifi for 3 days, so i had no way of talking to her. it was TERRIBLE and i missed her more than anything in my LIFE but when i got wifi (after CRYING to the people here bc theyre the most unorganized uni ever and i was already very overwhelmed and stressed) i immediately called her and she’d sent me over 100 text messages dkfjssjks it was amazing, there were two (2) videos of her singing (which is like. objectively the best thing in the world, and the song was rlly romantic and i love it sm when she showed it to me for the first time she said it made her think abt me), a poem, AND a HUGE text with “i love you” written like. a THOUSAND TIMES. seriously i have a gif of it opening and scrolling bc it was so long that the text wouldnt show up directly on the chat screen and u have to click on it to see the rest. i’d never felt more loved in my entire life by anyone ever. anyways so then it came the day for her to get here and i had to wake up at 5 am to go get her at the airport and the uber was like $40 but who CARES it was the best day of my LIFE and i got there 20 minutes earlier bUT GUESS WHAT SO DID SHE (hashtag just soulmate things) then we facetimed the entire time while she was walking through the airport and getting her luggage and then she hung up to walk to the door where i was and we hugged for like 5 minutes and we were totally in people’s way and also almost fell but it was the best thing in the world and i never should’ve let her go. but, we had to go home, so i did. and we spent 4 days together and im not gonna go into details bc this is already too long but u can always send me another ask about her visit if ur not a coward. also i bought her a hoodie from my uni and whenever she wears it i just. die. in short, those days were the happiest i’ve ever been. this campus res had never felt like home before that friday and it hasnt again since that monday, but i swear to god, during those 4 days, this was the only place i could possibly belong.

anyways then she left and i cried for the entire uber ride home and then i cried all day. lmao. also when she was here she gave me the poetry book, the magnet, and the bracelet. still wear the bracelet every single day and i love it more than anything. but then personal stuff happened and we kinda stopped being couple-y again and we’re just friends now but before new years i asked her if she still loved me and she said yes and she said she’d tell me if it changed so ✌️✌️ im assuming it hasnt. even tho my brain is a bitch and everyday its like. today. today is the day. this is when its gonna happen. buT yknow we’ve spent months before without even talking to each other and we got through that still in love, so i mostly ignore it. and tbh i know that actually like, even if we grow apart now (god forbid, but still) we’ll find our way back to each other eventually. like, i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: nothing, not even the universe itself, can convince me that shes not my soulmate. and even if it turns out i’m not hers, loving her is still the greatest honor i can think of.

another edit: also i started drawing recently and the first person i’ve ever finished drawing was her and also (surprise surprise @c since you’re already seeing all my feelings anyway) bc of my second drawing i almost missed the deadline for one of my midterms (which was a take-home test) bc instead of writing it i spent the entire day before the deadline finishing the drawing which was a secret valentines day gift (secret as in she didnt know it was supposed to be a gift, she thought it was just a drawing inspired by a quote that she loves) and i finished at 2 am but shes 3 hours behind so for her it was still 11 pm which MEANS it was still valentines day so it still counts, i win, lesbian rights!

#mine #l #answered #dont rb #i dont think anyone will but this is personal and i dont want to risk it getting out #i wanna have this bc i love telling people this story and next time someone asks i’ll just send them this post

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hanniejji · 6 years ago

Text

TAGS UWU

So I was tagged three times and since I wasn't able to do it on my phone I had to do it on my computer lmao anyway I got tagged by my sweet cakes(@hyunjinsgiggle ), the sunshine (@felegs ), and this cutie (@stayuwu ) this is going to be long btw im sorry and the ending is very depressing ignore it

Bold Tag

Rules: bold the ones that apply to you!

Appearance:

I’m over 5'5 / I wear glasses/contacts / I have blonde hair / I wear sweatshirts a lot / I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing / I have one or more piercings / I have at least one tattoo / I have blue eyes / I have dyed or highlighted my hair / I have gotten plastic surgery / I have or had braces / I sunburn easily / I have freckles / I paint my nails / I typically wear makeup / I don’t often smile / I am pleased with how I look / I prefer Nike to Adidas / I wear baseball hats backwards

Hobbies and talents:

I play a sport / I can play an instrument / I am artistic / I know more than one language / I have won a trophy in some sort of competition / I can cook or bake without a recipe / I know how to swim / I enjoy writing / I can do origami / I prefer movies on TV shows / I can execute a perfect somersault / I enjoy singing / I could survive in the wild on my own / I have read a new book series this year / I enjoy spending time with friends / I travel during school or work brakes / I can do a handstand

Experiences:

I have had my first kiss / I have gotten drunk / I have told a crush I like them / I have traveled outside of the country / I have flown on an airplane / I have stayed awake for more than 48 hours / I have had a near-death experience / I have caught something on fire / I have performed in a talent show / I have shot a gun / I have been on TV / I have gone scuba diving / I have broken a bone / I have slow-danced / I have gone on a shopping spree

Relationships:

I am in a relationship / I have been single for over a year / I have a crush / I have a best friend I have known for over ten years / my parents are together / I have dated my best friend / I am adopted / my crush have confessed to me / I have had a long-distance relationship / I am an only child / I give advice to my friends / I have made an online friend / I met up with someone I have met online

Aesthetics:

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell / I have watched the sun rise / I enjoy rainy days / I have slept under the stars / I meditate outside / the sound of chirping calms me / I enjoy the smell of the beach / I know what snow tastes like / I listen to music to fall asleep / I enjoy thunderstorms / I enjoy cloud watching / I have attended a bonfire / I pay close attention to colors / I find mystery in the ocean / I enjoy hiking on nature paths / Autumn is my favorite season

Miscellaneous:

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle / I am the mom friend / I live by a certain quote / I like the smell of sharpies / I am involved in extracurricular activities/ I enjoy Mexican food / I can drive stick-shift / I have memorized an entire song in a day / I believe in true love / I dream up scenarios to fall asleep / I sing in the shower / I wish I lived in a video game / I have a canopy above my bed / I am Multi-racial / I am a redhead / I own at least three dogs / I am LGBR

I'm about to answer 33 questions wow I feel like I'm on an examination

11 questions tag

by sweet cakes:

1. what is your fashion sense?

I have a lot of styles depending on the weather or my mood. I mostly do the sweater/jacket + high waisted shorts hehe or turtle neck + shorts + cardigan/jacket. when I'm lazy, which is always, I wear an oversize hoodie and shorts and the occasional cap hihi I have a weird sense of fashion

2. what is your favourite season?

I like rainy, or windy. any is fine as long as I don't sweat like hell adfaslsja I hate summer

3. if you could go on holiday anywhere, where?

I love going to beaches but tbh anywhere with good views is fine, it doesn't matter since the most important thing for me is that I get the experience and take lots of photos if they have a lot of delicious foods then that's better oof

4. what is one quote you live by?

"learn to stand on your own feet" has a very special place in my heart

5. would you ever get a tattoo, and if so, what and where?

I would want a snowflake, because we're not alone falling down

6. what is your favourite song at the minute?

at the moment, it's nobody knows by youngjae and fine by yugyeom ✨✨

7. what is one album you would listen to for the rest of your life?

I still listen to Linkin Park songs because of the meaningful and relatable lyrics

8. what is your favourite memory from the last year?

it has to be the one time my mom said she's proud of me :')

9. what is one regret you have?

not being able to make friends easily :'( I find it hard to do

10. would you change aforementioned regret?

maybe :'(

11. if you could have any food in the world to eat right now, what would it be?

How dare you make me choose I can't possibly choose between different varieties of foods :'( fries, frappe, and shawarma w/o cucumber pls

by sunshine 🌞

1. what’s one thing that helps you relax?

probably sleeping with soft background music

2. what’s your favorite novel and author?

I'd rather poetry :') sea of strangers by lang leav is amazing

3. are you an affectionate person? if so, how do you show affection?

I'm more like the closet affectionate person hehe but when I'm tired or sleepy I get clingy a lot but I'm mostly through small actions, I'm not comfortable with saying "I miss you" or whatever unless I'm typing them

4. are you an early bird or a night owl?

totally a night owl

5. if you’re comfortable with it, do you have a song you connect to something or someone, and if so, what is it?

sorry by halsey, broken home by 5sos

6. if you could go back to a place you’ve been to before, where would it be?

the beach we went to last vacation :')

7. what does your favorite piece of clothing - that you own yourself - look like?

a very comfy oversized hoodie, it's black with front pocket, sweater paaaaws, and it has a small doodle of neptune on the back

8. who’s your bias and why?

bias? I don't know her

9. do you believe in luck and miracles?

yas, my aunt is actually a fortune teller? idk? but she knows a lot about those and spirits thing but since I have low self confidence I mostly sound like I don't believe in them

10. what’s your favorite type of decorations?

aesthetic and pastel colors ✨

11. do you prefer being outside or inside?

booooth

by cutie :

1. Are you a daydreamer? If so, what do you dream about?

sometimes I just space out without even realizing

2. What’s your favorite place in the world?

home

3. What’s home to you?

somewhere that no one can judge me, a safety place, a place where I can let loose and be comfortable and not give a care about anything

4. This is not a question but quote a vine.

"oh hell noOooOoOOoOooOooOO"

5. Grey’s anatomy or House?

what i don't watch any of these

6. Do you have any pets?

a lame excuse of a cat

7. What kind of friend are you? (You know, the mom friend, the meme friend, etc).

the mom friend, scolds you 25/8, gives advises everywhere, comforts you, takes things seriously, drops everything just to listen to you unless I'm in a very bad mood, sacrifices for you, boyfriend material (according to my friend), secretly soft, lazy but exerts effort when needed, randomly does weird things and dances to fortnite, supports you, but lowkey doesn't do the same for myself lol because I'm emo and you can hear me saying bad things about myself 27/10 and pushing you away lol

I don't share my food unless you're important lmao

8. Do you hate someone? If so, why?

fake peopleeee

9. What’s your dream job?

to be a journalism

10. What MCU character resembles you the most? (not physically, more like mentally and emotionally).

probably wanda

11. I won’t use this eleven question as an actual question, use your right to answer to this to talk about whatever the fuck you want. Rant, fangirl, talk about what you did today or yesterday or whatever. Just talk.

I just want to cry to someone but I don't have the heart to tell anyone, I don't know why but I get stressed so easily and that one time our nurse had a seminar and asked if anyone is depressed, I just want to raise my hand but I'm too scared someone will judge me and think of me as a weak person, like now, and she started this speech about how to beat depression and I just can't understand how is that going to work because it doesn't work on me. I'm getting tired of constantly getting sad for no reason and it's bothering my classmates and I hate bothering them I feel like I'm annoying so I kept these thoughts to myself. It's hard trying to avoid spacing out and being so quiet all of the sudden, I'm getting mad at myself for being pathetic and I did the "do" once because I was so desperate to feel something other than sadness and I couldn't even tell anyone and right now I feel like this rant I'm doing is bothering everyone I hate being like this :'(

I'm doooonneee hehehehe that took me like a long time and I should really sleep now :') I will reblog this with my 11 questions and tags because tumblr has limits ugh

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roseylaces · 7 years ago

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I'm sorry but why do you like sword art online so much??? And like is Asuna really strong.. because didn't she "die" (and how is she alive even -___-) and also got captured and molested and stripped yet didn't at least yell at the man or something? Like, she could've kicked - sorry in advance if her legs were chained up or something I forgot but? Idk spat at him?

okay this answer is going to be really long, so apologies in advance if that’s not your style… yet this ask ticked something in me, and i have to justify myself as to why i love sao, and why asuna is such a strong heroine, character, and person.

first of all, i definitely think this ask could’ve been worded better. wondering how asuna survived sao and forgetting what even happened during the final battle in fairy dance is a definite indicator of your lack of research.

im hoping that the answer to your first question will become evident as i answer your other queries, because im sure my passion for the series will come to light.

for your second question, yes, asuna truly is strong, in every sense of the word. she is physically strong, mentally strong, and spiritually strong. at the beginning of sword art online, asuna was a fifteen year old girl, suddenly removed from everything she knew. from the safe, incubator-style life she had lived up until that point, from her parents, life, and school, into a world where she did not know a single thing; a place where she had to fight to live without even knowing how. she had to constantly overcome her own mind, and strive to survive in a world that always tried to end her. if you were faced with the prospect of death at the slightest wrong turn, would you even try to push forward? i doubt many people would, yet asuna did. despite knowing that her efforts may amount to nothing, she refused to sit still, constantly fighting mobs in the first floor’s dungeon just to prove that she would not give in. she went to the most dangerous part of the floor at that time, and battled. from the beginning, her worth as a member of the game’s frontlines was secured, and even kirito knew this. when she first met kirito, she told him that she had to fight, and how that would be the one thing to determine her worth. if she was going to die, she was to do it on her own terms. how much strength must you possess to overcome a will to admit defeat and harness a determination to not play by the rules? not even kirito was able to think that way.

additionally, she is physically strong. after the sao incident, she pushed her weakened body to its limits, refusing to let what had happened to her determine her future. im not lying when i say she could definitely beat kirito in a real-life fight if that were to ever happen. shes very active, and even before the sao incident she was a fit person, which was one of the reasons why her agility in sao was so great. a part of the indicator for abilities in sao, although primarily determined by the system, also comes down to physical prowess, and this is something that enabled asuna to continue to be perceived as strong.

further to this, she’s spiritually strong. even after kirito found her in the first floor dungeon, she refused to become a damsel who submitted herself to her ‘more powerful’ partner, seeking to possess further strength so that she could be his equal. even when she joins the knights of the blood and she falls in love with kirito, she does not let this love stand in the way of her mission and purpose, instead utilising this to enable her to become even stronger. she now had something to fight for. she would not let the game take him from her, or take her from him. asuna is a rare heroine because romance did not become her strength, but instead allowed her strength to become purposeful. shes very inspirational in this regard, and truly is strong. she knows her weaknesses and turns them into power.

during boss battles and whilst frontlining, asuna never, ever let kirito do anything that would deny her determination and personal strength. she fought as her own person, was revered as the subleader of the biggest guild, and was able to do so because she possessed such powers. yes, she fought alongside kirito, but he never shut her out for her safety or dulled her light. she protected her own raid party, sometimes up to 47 others, kept control of the guild, and made the most out of every unfortunate situation. she entered sao not knowing a single thing about mmorpg combat, but she continued to learn, and utilise this new knowledge in order to push herself further. she saw kirito as a partner and a mentor, and soon became his equal and, i would even say, surpassed him in her understanding of technique and strategy. although she is partnered with kirito often, she is always considered her own player, her own person, dubbed ‘the flash’. only truly strong players are given nicknames, and this is an indicator of her strength.

and yes, asuna did die within sao during the 75th floor boss fight. she died because she sacrificed herself for the sake of the entire raid group; for the entire player population of sao. asuna knew that if it came down to either her or kirito, kirito would be the one that had to live in order to continue the endeavour towards beating the death game. he had the dual blade wielding ability, he was chosen by heathcliff/kayaba to be the game’s sole saviour. she jumped in front of heathcliff, a seemingly immortal object, to take the blow for kirito and give him a chance to fight and win. she did not die unnecessarily, she did not die in vain. she knew that her sacrifice would be for the sake of those 8,000 players still within sao. this act in itself is the true indicator of asuna’s strength. the ability to think of the greater good over one’s own self, and the act of sacrifice in such a dismal and dire situation, are both things that only those who are truly powerful in their mentality and sense of self would be able to do.

asuna was able to live because kayaba recognised this power. he recognised that asuna’s death was valiant and altruistic. her defeat was for the sake of those she did not even know. i know many people say that she jumped in front of heathcliff with for the sole purpose of protecting kirito, but this greatly undermines asuna. although, yes, she wanted to protect him, she was also thinking about the bigger picture - the future of sao - and knew that kirito was the necessary piece in the game to ensure survival. he would be the beacon of hope, and asuna knew that this was not the role set of her. so she did what she had to do, even if this ended her life. kayaba realised that asuna did not deserve to die, that her sacrifice was so great that to kill her would defeat the purpose of his ‘world’. so he saved her. it was her reward for possessing such inner strength.

to answer your third question, asuna was bound by her hands to the ceiling within the last battle scene with fairy king obeiron (sugou), and constrained by the manipulation of gravity as utilised by sugou by the alfheim system. she could not move at all, and these chains were deemed as immortal objects by this same system. also, asuna did yell at sugou. she demanded for him to stop. yet there was not much she could do, given the situation. if she refused too fervently, sugou could have hurt kirito more severely than what he did by turning down the pain absorption to a lower level, and if that had occured, she would never have been able to forgive herself. the lower pain absorption would have hurt her, too, and this is a key factor to keep in mind when analysing this scene. asuna had to make very quick, very calculated decision in such a short and desperate span of time. she had to decide the best way to ensure her and kirito’s safety, which would be so so difficult, seeing as the safest option would be to have sugou sexually harass her, to satisfy him and hopefully prevent him from doing anything horrific. of course, she would not want this, but thinking about the bigger scheme of things, sugou harming her would be better than fighting back, which may have resulted in having kirito or herself killed. she had to restrain her desires to give up for the sake of their best interests. that’s another exhibition of her strength, and further proves my initial proposal. further to this, she would not spit on sugou because she would in no way stoop to his level. she had to be above him, and refuse him in a way that proved his abhorrent insolence. asuna is so so strong because of this, and she is such a wonderful character.

as i said at the beginning, this became very long, but i truly am passionate about proving that asuna is a strong character, and that sword art online is so much more than what people think it to be. the characters are very complex and three dimensional, the story is engaging and very well thought out, and nothing happens without a reason. every action has a reaction, and kawahara-sensei is a master novelist for this reason. if i can convince even one more person that sao is not worth the hate it gets, or that asuna is not just a member of kirito’s (non-existent) harem, i feel like i would have done my job as an advocate for the series, and i hope people come to understand my love for the series and its characters.

#anon #ask #and no i wont use a read more bc people have to read this and understand this #*clears throat*#thank u for listening #i still cant believe i get ppl trying to make me explain why asuna is her own character and is a strong person #i just dont get it but thats okay bc ill explain it as many times as i need #its my purpose as a main member of the sao fandom #its an honour to do asuna justice #sao asks

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