#im being the matpat i wasnt before

[nonsensicallyhere]

me and my friends doodles on vol 5 (SPOILERS!!!!)

[boydepartment]

@ iluvmygf- nishimura riki x fem! reader: ch 7

description: nishimura riki is a headache to his managers. as much as he loves being an idol and as much as he loves that he gets the freedom to travel. he hates that he can’t show you off. publicly… as himself… so he makes a twitter account called @ iluvmygf at first not a lot of people follow it. it goes unnoticed, for a few weeks. until it doesn’t. his account about you goes viral… and people are nosy as to who loves their gf so much to constantly post about her.

genre: romcom, crack, humor, something fun and lighthearted like a hallmark movie. it’s also set from november-february bc i said so and i want a christmas ark 😋🫶 this is an smau

warnings: cursing, most likely crude humor, probably kms jokes

kms joke this chapter

TEXT + SOCIAL MEDIA CHAPTER

“DOOFUS”

riki’s first @ iluvmygf tweet before he decided to be stupid (the one beomgyu sent to the groupchat) 👇👇👇

___

MASTERLIST

taglist- open

@yourmomscuntis2tighy @yannew @wzy3ka @stellarpsh @czlluvriki @im-yn-suckers @owotalks @filmofhybe @skepvids @ocyeanicc @amymyli @imsodazed @rikislady @j-wyoung @bangchansbangers @sassyfanlawyergarden @miko1ly @itsactuallylina @haewonluvr @entenen @cb97mylove @jxp1-t3r @ineedaherosavemeenow @str4wb3rizz @beomgyusonlywife @jiaant11 @sweet-kisses-and-bloody-screams @enhaz1 @mrchweeee @stryroses @riziwon @cholexc @soobiverse @tzuyusluv @hayleyrkbee @softiehee @captivq @yla-aira @svarcq @s00buwu @rodygr @ikeu4life @faraonatojishady @ohsjy @bts-iris @wqsty @en-gene2 @mrowwww @eumppattv @junsflow @ilurvriki @bunchofroses07 @ariadores @luvkpopp @asherthehimbo @realrintaro @myjaeyunn

comment, dm, send an ask, or reblog to be added :) i try to keep up with tag lists however i get a ton of notifications everyday so please lmk if i forget you. if you do choose to comment please do it on the masterlist.

a/n: heyyyyyy my loves <3 i wanted to get a chapter out today :3 also can we PLS MANIFEST that this chapter doesnt get like a weird thing on it. THE LAST CHAPTER WASNT EVEN BAD i literally dropped to my knees in target. anyways, i bought stuff online yesterday with a gift card and i bought the heeseung leopard print beanie so that is soooooo fun, maybe i will post it if i am feeling goofy enough also matpat retiring i think i should retire from breathing 🤒🤒🤒 ALSO WHERE IS CORYXKENSHIN????? he needs to play parasocial i

[mcrizzystardust]

mangle is just so mr potato head coded and i lpve that for them 🤭

THAT HEADCANON IS SO FUCKING CUTE. thats so real of u

im trying to convince my audhd brain to watch matpat but have not yet succeeded 😭 wish me luck 🫡

that reminds me of this story!!!

back before i dropped out of highschool, the hs i went to had this kid who was notorious for wearing the same pokemon merch every single day. everyone called him pokemon kid, he was an icon. no one really knew much about him, he didnt really have many close friends, so he was a mystery to everyone. all my memories from around this time are fuzzy around the edges for reasons we wont get into 😭 , and for some reason one day i was spending lunch hour in the library with him. he had a usb stick with games on it, and somehow hacked the school computers to be able to play undertale- which 😭 icon behaviour, it was so real of him (i never got into undertale- but it was still iconic). we ended up being friends after that :) i still think about him sometimes, hope hes doing alright

THATS SO MEAN WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT TO US :(( thumbs supremacy 🥺

bro i love making clothes!!! it doesnt always have to be sewing, ill send you some tips and tricks :)

eda is actually such a milf (and im not even attracted to women) already, but HARPY EDA? bowing down. worshipping. clawing at the bars of my enclosure.

i havent had my natural hair colour in years 😭 quarantine early 2020 was when i finally convinced my mom to let me fully dye my hair, and ive just kept going since then :P ive had so many colours - in order i think theres been: red, orange, red, a buzzcut around this time so actually it was natural for a bit :P, blue, red (for months and months this time around), then i bleached it for the first time! wont get into details, but it didnt go well. at all. and i was in the hospital (not for the bleached hair 😭) so it was a disaster trying to wash it out and take care of it, so it ended up being like, orange? like ginger 😭. then after i got out of the hospital i dyed it blue, then it was purple, and then after that purple faded out there was a few months of it just being shit- like it wasnt my natural colour, all the previous colours and the purple kinda just shat out and my hair looked gross around that time :P around that time is also when i tried to dye my hair one side pink and the other side blue, but i didnt bleach or anything beforehand so it didnt show up like at all. then i got another buzz cut so it was natural for a month or so, then i bleached it (PROPERLY this time 😭) and was blonde, then i tried to dye it green- istfg the box said GREEN. but it came out like, blue, turquoise? 😭 so. that was around for awhile before i bleached my hair and went blonde again, then it was a hot pink, which i let fade until it was a softer tone, then i dyed it red (this was around halloween 2022, when i was going to go as red-haired gerard way to the halloween party!), and let that fade out as well. then i accidentally cut my hair really really short after a break up 😭 and it looked like shit for a few weeks. i tried to put purple on top, but i didnt bleach beforehand so it didnt really show up and all shat together. but then i bleached my hair, shittily (but on purpose this time), so my hair was short and my roots were blonde but the tips were like pink? ish? and it looked really cool :) it gave me a lot of dysphoria tho, so i dyed it black a few weeks later. i ended up moving out of the place i was staying and moving in with my kokom about a month after that, so i was really busy and like just 😭 not okay for a few months, especially because of some events that had transpired, so my black just faded out and for a long while, like a few months, it was just this weird purple? blue? kinda black, not really? green?? it was weird 😭 then around easter, thats when i bleached my hair again then immediately went silver! i tried to dye it black again, but kokom wouldnt let me because she said black is too boring of a colour LMFKDBSJ. then i did green around late may, then i did red around late june, but i didnt bleach it i just put it on top of the green so it turned out this really hot dark red 🤭 i loved it, i kept it around for a long time. around late september, i finally rebleached my hair and put the rest of the red that i had in my hair, but it was so much lighter that time around. it faded, but i redyed it red around halloween using the little i had left because i was going as lock from nightmare before xmas :) then i forget when, but i dyed it purple/blue awhile ago and thats what ive had since then :P god, that was a mental exercise trying to remember everything 😭

unfortunately, my biomother went thru hair school, so she was always the one to cut my hair and do shit :( i remember the first time i ever went to a proper hair stylist was around earlyish 2019, when my biomom was getting married and didnt wanna have to cut my hair herself. i always dye my hair myself, but every once in a blue moon ill go to a hair salon to get it cut. i prefer doing it myself, even though im very bad at it. gives it character :)

hi key!! i see we have several mutual special interests so i Must Know your favorites!

1. who is your favorite fnaf animatronic (mine’s glamrock chica and the puppet!)

2. do you have a favorite calico critters family (gosh those are so nostalgic for me)

and most importantly

3. who is the best owl house character and why is it hunter

hi bee!!! (omg i just now realized our names rhyme)

okay so, bear with me here. i never got into fnaf as a kid, but after the fnaf movie came out apparently everyone i knew was like "omgggg!!!!" and made me feel like i missed out on a cultural phenomenon. so i bought the first game (and i suck at it 😭), and ive been watching markiplier play through it so i know what to expect and to calm my paranoia etc :). im up to sister location, and shit is getting WILD. i know like, the basics of the lore and what happens but GAWDDAMN. anyways! in what ive seen so far, id have to say either foxy, mangle, or circus baby. yes, yes, shes evil, but a girlboss gotta girlboss /j 😭 (no but fr, i just love her backstory and like her character development and kabfjabdj!!)

i dont actually really know many of the families, but the marshmellow mice and the reindeer twins are so cute!!!!! i have two sets of families, i have the maple cats and the persian cats. my fave calico critters of all time are on instagram, @/emocritters!!! its this person who diys critters to look like various members of my chemical romance from their various eras :)))) theyre SO goddamn cute. @fairylittlebitch said he'd get me one once he has enough money and i am forever worshipping his existence, kissing the ground he stands upon, giving him a big fat (platonic and consensual) smooch.

OMG I LOVE HUNTER. hes so KFNKDBDJFH!!2&(!:$)3&3)4.

okay but also hear me out...... the collector. theyre so.

i just. i need to give him a hug. i need to be his friend. i want to comfort them. im !!/$;$&3@2@/'

[weirderscience]

ok actually. stuff abt my au fic under the cut bc im braindead

i do NOT follow matpat theories on anything. his theories are dumb and do not have much thought provoking material within

shrignold and larry are “secretly” a thing in the way that everyone knows about it but nobody says anything because the thought of them together is fucking rancid (i have several scrapped chapters that i cannot for the life of me salvage with this exact fucking subject being the focus. theyre all terrible)

tony went to school in london and met paige there while in arts classes

paige has a degree in literature

anthonys put a hit out on larry before. larry should have died by drowning or getting poisoned or something and they definitely were sure he was dead when they did it but then he shows up unauthorized the next day like nothing happened

anthony would cut tony off from his uncle if larry wasnt the type of guy who breaks into your house at 2 am to eat your leftovers for you and then drunkenly vacuum the living room. also the above statement

duck and rg knew each other before their disappearance, duck was a grammar teacher at the local primary school and rg was a janitor

this fic’s main inspiration is house of leaves but also the game anatomy by kitty horrorshow. and the haunted cities 4 pack by kitty horrorshow. a lot of kitty horrorshow ig

part of the reason i started posting this fic was bc i hate the lack of storyfic on ao3. there are a lot of stories to be told and themes to be explored but for the most part all i ever see is ship-centric fic and oneshots :(

[cozylittledream]

12/14/21

today i had a dream that was i was being cancelled on instagram bc i was livestreaming like an edit that used stolen art while i was like.. asleep?? and also as a 'joke' (idk man dream logic) ((and every other reason was like they thought i was like. dumb i remember one line being along the lines of "sweet but unbearable to deal with) and i was being called out BY A FRIEND .... i think it was was [bingy] or [dorby] or even both and then all the comments were just people calling me ugly or something and there was like a group drawing including me and they blocked my face out and said i didnt even deserve to be in it and then i felt like crying and i was gonna comment and say "im sorry about what i did and i will make sure to credit the artists in the future but we talk about how mean you're being to me..." but i never got around to it lolz

oh yeah before i dreamt that i like "lived" in a corner store i like went a corner store and like used their bathroom or something (and i know this bc employees outside joked abt how i went in "alone" or something so i was "nope ! shitting! ") anyways i lived there for a bit until i like came home from school my dad and everyone else i was told "a storm" that took place like in here and apparently we couldnt just go home we had to take refuge in there instead and it was actually rly bad (well more boring) (cont)

i remember having no idea the storm even happened and i wasnt worried until i saw my dad holding a cross and crying and realizing we might like. Die from this and thats when i started getting scared and i was like "oh my god.. i havent even got a chance to see [boy....friend] yet ..." yet we still stayed there i think i called him but then my microphone stopped working so i asked the guy who worked there if he had some i could buy and then realized there was like a doll

and i asked what it was and he told me like it was based on a girl with a different name though also her eyes were blue not brown and idk I was like let me show my dad before buying it but before i showed it to him in the room i noticed we had 1 birds !!! a cute red one with blue eyes and a weird peacock like one i pet both but the peacock tried 2 bite me LOLZ

and then i look at the doll again and was like OH GOD its kinda ugly okay i dont really want it anymore plus it might be cursed and then it cuts to a segment where matpat takes the doll and traps it on the internet and first shes really mad cus shes not real anymore or something but then they play like video games (i think it was pong) with matt and they became friends ok thats it goodnite