#im back on my phan bullshit again

[mybraindumpsterfire]

While I don’t believe in the “phard launch” persay, I will say that the funniest way I think they could do it is start a video together before Phil says “wait we’re missing something” and Dan just stares at him for a second before saying “oh right” and then it just cuts to them putting rings on each other’s ring fingers and then going “all right now we can start” and just never addressing it from that point on

[muchdan]

top 10 phan moments that make me wanna rip my heart out

yeah, just ten moments among hundreds, let it be part one or something. tell me what i’ve missed because i want more suffering in my life.

10) mind control.

i mean, i appreciate the subtlety. i crave those tiny moments that you only notice when someone points them out to you. but this! you can’t miss this one, this moment is shoved down our throats. this is so “i’m allowed to do that to you, to be in your personal space, and gaze into your eyes for no reason, just because i want to”. and phil’s face in that moment, so much joy and mischief, he claps his hands and gazes back.

9) chest touch.

drama queen howell strikes again, it hurts to rewatch it srsly, why is he so extra? but what is phil doing ladies and gents? he slaps his chest in the weirdest way possible, he brushes it, it’s like he wants to shove him but reassuringly and the movement happens so fast you have to pause for a second to comprehend it. that sweet gentle boy is so fond of dan’s unnecessary commentary and yeah, it completely distracts us from what dan is saying at that moment.

8) feel my heartbeat.

was that necessary, really? like, i don’t ask my friends to feel my heartbeat when i’m scared, that was such a “horror movie at first date” bullshit, that’s not what people do?? and when dan does feel that beautiful hummingbird heart, phil just covers his hand with his own palm because yes, you gotta feel it very close, no air between your hand and my chest. dan immediately looks into the camera to show us that yeah, i know you’re there, nothing strange, and makes a comment about phil dying. wow.

7) phil the delivery man.

i don’t know what to say. it’s so simple but why does phil have to make such an act of bringing dan his charger, why does he talk in that stupid voice?? they have a banter, and then phil FIXES DAN’S CHARGER FOR HIM, like what?? who asked you to do that? where’s my IT guy au (literally, he’s got glasses, look at him). and before he leaves he plays the piano that nerd, what an attention seeker, and then bows!! is he tipsy? did he have a pre-liveshow orgasm or something? dan laughs fondly and it’s all i need in the world.

6) child beer.

what’s happening and does it even matter. phil’s hiding on the floor, but why? to surprise us? eh whatever. so he’s got that magical japanese powdery stuff and he wants dan to taste it. the biggest problem for me here, ahem, i mean the thing that just kills me every time is that phil spends the whole time (eight minutes) on his knees and he looks so cute when he makes that beer, holds it close to the camera, and then lets the foam sit so dan can have the ultimate child beer experience.

it reminds me of that hot chocolate video, where he does something so trivial but he’s so gentle and loving about it. i still don’t understand why they didn’t do a simple taste test like bros, but phil had to make it for dan, he wanted to see his reaction. and then he tries it as well, touches the glass rim with his lips at the same place where dan’s mouth just was (gross).

and i just can’t ignore how that boy sneaks past dan’s room after that, he’s playful, he stops to say that he googled something and dan was wrong, and domesticity, i wanna die.

5) sleeping phil on tour.

i kinda wanna talk about the angle here because i don’t understand how it was filmed (camera is pretty static, dan’s hand reaches from the side, not behind), but i don’t know if it matters here. what matters is how gentle dan is. of course, he starts with classic nose tickling, which is what “messing with a sleeping friend” usually implies, but then he frees one strand of phil’s hair and just lets it fall. wow, fantastic prank, dan.

and let’s separately discuss that pout/kiss phil does after he opens his eyes. i know you want a slow mo replay, so here we go:

that’s what i call “im gonna stay asleep but i love you”. where’s the nearest cliff so i can fling myself into abyss?

4) the look.

context what context. why did they keep it? why did they put it on fullscreen instead of hiding in the corner? two full-length looks dan, really?? you know what he looks like, why do you have to examine him like that in front of us you slut. and it just passes, without acknowledgment, they just turn back at us simultaneously and I’M STILL DEAD at that moment, i don’t care what happens next.

3) snoot. proot. (i just filmed you doing that)

i don’t even care what it was. something about piano sounds or whatever, but this video haunts me. THERE’S SO MUCH TO IT. first, phil is lying on dan’s bed (at least in the official version it’s dan’s, not mutual), just chilling?? and dan’s working i guess. so they are not actually doing something together but it’s a cozy evening, why would they spend it in different rooms? dan says something, idk, and phil replies “yeah” in that deep voice I SWEAR i haven’t heard from him before. dan makes the sounds again, like can you believe he’s an actual dork in real life, it’s not an act, he’s actually the weirdest boy alive, and he so obviously doesn’t know he’s being filmed. because when phil says “i just filmed you doing that you’re so weird”, he’s so delighted, he laughs at himself, he turns around, his hair is pushed back omg they are both so sleepy and i rejoice. i think this video gives us a rare but fantastic insight in their everyday life, phil must be keeping so much silly videos like that on his google drive and we never get to see them BUT SOMEHOW he posts this one, probably because dan is cute and he wants everyone to know it.

2) you loved it. you wanna do it more.

so, yes. you know this one. where do i even begin?? they play this dragon quiz and then 1) phil says “you loved it” in the strangest voice, like the voice we never hear from him, it’s deeper and quieter, he looks at dan even though dan’s not looking back; 2) dan is looking down as if he’s fiddling with an ipad or something, it’s almost a bts moment, something they would usually edit out. AND THEN THREE SECONDS OF SILENCE while dan kinda processes what’s going on and phil still looks at him expectantly. seductive as fuck. and now this quiet “alright”, i’m just… dan looks like he’s gotten the hint, so he’s a little embarrassed and they share the softest laugh. 

the thing is, we know how often phil makes sexual innuendos and dan always reacts the same way: he looks into the camera, he throws a witty comment in, he puts it on display to show us that there’s no intimacy in that moment. but not this time. i don’t understand why they didn’t edit it out. i just… don’t.

1) pantless liveshow this is the ultimate. this is the weirdest and the most awesome thing these two gave me and i’m not even sure what can top that. the moment when phil decides to grab the humidifier and show us, he looks at the screen, says “one second” and stands up very awkwardly while dan turns the laptop away from him and makes the weirdest “how you doing” face. 

WHAT THE FUCK. did they think we were so used to them weirdos that we wouldn’t even notice that shit? but fuck, they do it again, they want to show us the spray and dan goes “should i go get it? you have to do phil’s corner”. like, i can’t function, i honestly can’t. AND THE WORST PART is when dan returns and we can see him covering his legs with a blanket just too fast like it’s not that cold boy come on.

i have no explanation and i have every explanation. i don’t deserve all this suffering.

[metricanxiety]

i’m the narrator and this is just the prologue

Pairing: phan its the only thing i write lmao

AU: uhh, dan is a writer and phil owns a cute lil store? idk what thats called but thats what it is

Warnings: SMUT. Its not too bad tho. Swearing, Mentions to religion and awful humans, sin. 

AN: send me requests im begging you. 

---

Dan sat in front of the laptop on his desk, a hand holding his head up, and the other goose-pecking the keyboard, typing the final pages of the chapter he was writing. His editor gave him a deadline for the chapter two days ago, and was desperately trying to finish the dam thing before his agent came to off his head. Dan had already gotten many threats that they’d drop his project if he didn’t stop dropping the deadlines they were setting for him. But he’s already released successful novels, proven that they really don’t give a shit about the deadlines, but rather don’t want to make the readers wait longer for a book that is already beginning to get hyped up. 

His first novel was about his fiance’s childhood, but majorly fantasized. It’s about a little monster trying to escape the civilization he was raised in because his parents didn’t love him for the path he chose in life, to begin a family with somebody unapproved his parents didn’t like. A fantasy about gay rights. But would you expect anything less from Dan Howell?

As a firm believer in writing based on real life experiences, Dan was now writing a realistic fiction novel about a girl growing up in a super religious home, but realizing the beliefs she was brought up in isn’t actually what she believes, and how she over came the problems it brought. But he was stuck on a chapter, trying to make the story more interesting in the middle bits with a little bullshit. It wasn’t his strong suit, which is why he wrote about real experiences. Phil, his fiance, had earlier in the week that he should write a sexy novel, because Dan had plenty of experience in that to write a book about it. Dan laughed, but he could never imagine publishing such an erotic novel, knowing his future children may read it someday. 

The sun had set a while ago, leaving only the bright lights of London, and Dan’s laptop screen, to illuminate the room. Phil was due to be home any minute now, Dan had received the text about fifteen minutes ago that he was leaving the shop, which was about a half hour tube ride from the flat they owned downtown. They use the word own very loosely. Yes, the flat was theirs, but the mortgage was being paid paycheck to paycheck, since most of their money was being used towards the shop, and bills. But they made it work. 

Dan typed the final sentence of the chapter, she slowly, but surely, fell into the sweet slumber, the final one she would have for a long time; the storm was just beginning to form. It reminded him of how he felt when he was sixteen himself, discovering his identity. A tough subject for him, but can be empowering to young readers, so he forced himself to submit it to his editor. He still had another chapter due tomorrow, as they were trying to wrap this book up quick to release to the public, and well, so Dan could have a little extra pocket change than he does right now. Despite his previous successful novels, he actually didn’t have too much in his savings. Living in London is no joke for the bank account. 

He began the next page, but didn’t get halfway through the first sentence when he heard keys hitting the metal door to their apartment, and the familiar squeak of Adidas on the wood floor. Phil was home, which meant Dan could actually enjoy his dinner with the man he loved. It had been sitting in the oven on a low heat to keep it warm.  

“Dan? Are you in the bedroom?” He heard Phil call out. It was nice to hear his voice, as Dan is left alone for hours every day until late at night, when Phil would finally join him. They owned the store as well, but Phil had to be there four days of the week, except for Sundays, Mondays, and Thursdays. He trusted the manager, which was Dan’s cousin, could handle it without an owner’s supervision. 

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec, dinner is in the oven.” Dan pulled a pair of pajama pants on over his boxers. It’s not like Phil hasn’t seen it before, but they were about to eat, might as well have some modesty. 

As Dan exited the bedroom, he was met with the open floor plan of their small flat, and Phil crouched down to try and get the tray of food out of the oven. He was in a navy blue button up, with white polka dots. Black jeans, and a red bow tie. He always dressed nice, even if it was just to go sit in the office of the store. He loved Phil for that. 

“Hey, love.” Dan smiled, walking over to help Phil, getting the tray out himself, and placed it on the stove. Phil stood up with him, placing a hand on the small of Dan’s back, and pulled him in for a kiss. “How was your day?”

“Busy. Which is a good thing. With Christmas coming up, everyone is wanting something from us. Cards, candles, you name it.” Phil said. He always referred to the store as his and Dan’s, but Dan didn’t really do much own there. It was mainly just Phil’s store. When Dan tried telling him this, Phil kissed his hand and said what’s mine is yours, my love. “How about yours? How is Angela doing in her quest to be her own person?”

Dan laughed, getting out two plates to serve the lasagna on. Phil leaned against the counter, making the space slightly crowded, but Dan didn’t mind being close to Phil. Especially when this is basically the first time they’ve seen each other today, besides Phil kissing Dan goodbye while he was still asleep. “Awful. I just submitted these past chapters to Haley when she wanted them two days ago. I still have a few to write to send her tomorrow.”

“Productive day then? I know you barely started the beginning of those chapters yesterday.” Phil wrapped his arms around Dan from the back as Dan used the spatula to serve the food on the plates, but was having sight trouble from the cheese being so stretchy on top. Phil kissed the back of Dan’s neck, the small short hairs tickling his nose as he did so. Dan had goose flesh cover his body, as his neck was very sensitive to him, and Phil always took advantage of it. 

“Kind of. I don’t know. Been struggling a little lately. There’s so much hype being built for this novel and I don’t know how well it’s going to turn out if it’s rushed like this.” He grabbed a few forks, and lead Phil over the the small table they had against the wall, and sat across from each other. 

“Take your time, I’m sure they won’t mind, they know you only care about the quality of the book.” Phil took a bite of the lasagna, exhaling in delight. “Thank you for dinner, babe.” 

“No problem. Didn’t take that long, and I had quite some time to kill anyway.” Dan jabbed slightly. Phil left extra early today, because he usually eats breakfast with Dan before he leaves for work. Phil needed to leave a little early today, however, because Sarah had something come up and couldn’t do it herself. 

“If you’re referring to breakfast this morning, I’m sorry. Sarah couldn’t make it in time, and I had to go open.” Phil reached over for Dan’s hand. It may seem ridiculous, but they were so close, their relationship was so valuable, that even eating breakfast together was important to them. It was the perfect start to their days. 

“No. It’s okay. Just wasn’t expecting to wake up to an empty flat.” Dan smiled, squeezing Phil’s hand.

“I know. I wasn’t expecting to be leaving so early either.” He paused. “But I’m home now, right?”

“Yeah. I know. But you know how I am.” Dan looked down at hid food. Phil knew he had trouble being alone for long periods of time, even though he did it every day. Dan thought too much, worrying about everything, which is the main reason he’s a writer. For example, if Phil doesn’t text him back within an hour of the text being sent, Dan starts to think that something bad happened to Phil, and that he needed help because Phil is usually very diligent about answering his messages. Dan says he thinks too much, but everyone knows it’s because of his anxiety. He hated being alone for so long because he doesn’t know if he’s letting his life go to waste by not going out with Phil, or going to visit friends more, and him being alone makes him feel guilty. Its a system they’ve been trying to ix for a while now. 

“I know, I’m sorry.”

Many people would call Dan controlling, or clingy due to this, but that was not the case at all. Phil knew Dan just needed that extra bit of information to feel safe, or know that Phil himself is safe. He doesn’t want to worry Dan more than he already does. 

They ate in silence for the rest of their dinner. Sometimes saying nothing has the loudest impact, and in this case it was. Just being in the presence of the other was enough for them. Phil collected the dishes, cleaned them, and put them away. It was about nine o’clock, and they didn’t really go to bed until around ten or eleven. Dan would sometimes go back and work on the novel while Phil did some basic chores around the house, or even catch up on some reading. But as Dan was walking toward the bedroom to finish his daily writing, Phil stopped him, grabbing his hand and spinning him back to face Phil. 

“I love you.” Phil smiled, wrapping his arms around Dan’s waste. Dan smiled, pressing his lips to Phil’s in a sweet, long kiss. 

“I love you too.” 

They kissed again, it wasn’t perfect, or calm. It was actually a little bit sloppy, because they had kissed each other so many times that there could be no bad kiss between them. Phil slipped his hands into the waistband of Dan’s pajama pants, resting them on Dan’s ass. He knew Dan thought it was ridiculous that Phil loved just grabbing, and holding Dan’s butt, but Phil found it quite funny that Dan thought that. Dan’s hands rested on Phil’s chest, slightly tweaking the bow tie around Phil’s neck but not doing much to actually take it off. 

“How about I make it up to you, for missing breakfast?” Phil suggested, resting his forehead to Dan’s. Dan was just a few inches shorter than Phil, making cuddling, and these type’s positions favorable to Phil. Dan quirked an eyebrow, moving his hands to the tie again, and began making a small effort to undo it. 

“Hm, depends. What are you going to do?” Dan asked, joking. He kissed the smile off Phil’s face, pulling the tie off Phil’s neck, and letting it drop to the floor. His arms snaked over Phil’s head afterwards, running his fingers through the dark black hair that belonged to the man he loved. Their sex life was calm, as they didn’t believe that they needed to have sex every other day to be happy, but when they did, the night was always extra special. 

Phil let Dan undo every button of his shirt before he began backing them into their bedroom. He shrugged off the button up, and began to help Dan out of the jumper he had on. They liked to take things slow, and savor every minute they had of the other. 

Phil pulled away for a minute, leaving Dan to sit on the bed, as he rummaged through the drawers, and shelves. He found a candle that he out on the dresser across the room for the bed and lit it with the matches he found in the bedside drawer. 

“You don’t need to do that. Dan said, laughing slightly. He began to pull off his pajama pants completely, so Phil didn’t have to do it, but left his boxers on. Phil shook his head, unbuttoning his jeans and kicked them off.

Phil pushed Dan to his back, laying half on him, half not, but still held himself up, so he wasn’t crushing Dan. Dan pushed the hair out of Phil’s face, tucking, what he could, behind Phil’s ears. 

“Hi.” Phil said, pressing their noses together.

“Hi,” Dan repeated, closing the gap between their mouths. Dan loved this part of the night. Where things were still beginning to heat up, but could still be stopped comfortably if one wasn’t totally up for it. Tonight however, was not one of those nights. It had been a few weeks since they last did this so it was relieving to be doing it again. 

Phil positioned his hips on top of Dan’s, moving them lightly, grinding down every few seconds. Dan threw his head back, getting the pleasure gently consume him, and Phil took the chance to attach his lips to Dan’s neck, and nibble at the sensitive skin. 

“Phil-” Dan exhaled, gripping Phil’s hair gently. He could feel how turned on Phil was, and he had no doubt that Phil could feel him. Dan was usually extremely quiet during sex, so when Dan said Phil’s name, it surprise him. 

They kissed again, mixing in their tongues, biting lips, and they became very touchy, Phil ran his hands up and down Dan’s side, stopping every now and then to poke, and tease his nipples. They had been together for so long that they knew exactly what made the other feel good, and enjoy themselves. 

“You realize that next week, its going to mark six years.” Phil said, his sentence rushed, trying to avoid making any unwanted noise. He made them plenty already, but he didn’t want it to interrupt him. 

“Holy fuck.” Dan said, smiling. They kissed again, sweetly. They can go from hot and heavy, to tame, and sweet in three seconds, just from the mention of their anniversary. Phil ground his hips down on Dan once more, bringing them both back into the lust, both wanting the same thing. 

Phil lifted his hips up, and ran two fingers around the waistband of Dan’s boxers, folding it over once, before pulling them off and over his long legs, leaving Dan completely naked. Phil kissed up Dan’s torso, nipping at a few spots that would make Dan’s breath hitch. “Top?” Phil asked, but Dan shook his head, Usually, Phil would top, but he always gave the option to Dan, wanting to make sure he wasn’t forcing Dan into a position he didn’t feel like doing. Almost always Dan would decline the offer. 

He reached over to the side table, grabbing the bottle of unscented lube, and a condom out of the little box they kept in the drawer. After having sex for six years, they never got tired of the basic ass shit they do. They were only really kinky on special days, like birthdays, or holidays, such as Valentine’s day or New Years. But any other time than that, they only really wanted each other, and would take it in any shape or form they could have. 

Phil took off his pants as well, and kissed Dan to keep the heat they had. He gave Dan a few strokes as they did, making him squirm and dig his blunt nails into Phil’s back. Phil kissed along Dan’s jaw, giving small pecks before biting at the skin right under his ear. As he did so, one hand grabbed the bottle of lube, skillfully popping the cap and squeezing some onto his fingers. He sat back on his heels, helping Dan wrap his legs around Phil’s waist. 

“I love you, Dan Howell.” Phil said, smiling down at Dan. Dan responded by sitting up and kissing the smile off Phil, holding his face with his hands. “There’s nobody I’d rather spend my life with than you.” Phil didn’t usually get so mushy and sweet during this, but Dan wasn’t complaining. He’d struggled with finding somebody to have in his life since his parents basically rejected him after coming out. Phil had gone through the same thing, which is what they first ‘bonded’ over, if you could call talking about your similar problems in life with someone as bonding. 

They didn’t spend too long on stretching, as Dan was use to the burn it caused, and eventually learned to treat it as pleasure. Phil tore the foil packet next to Dan’s bicep, and role the condom, hissing from the relief he was feeling from the slight contact. Dan pressed his lips to Phil’s forehead as he aligned himself, and began to push in. 

Dan’s nails dug into Phil’s skin, the other hand in his hair, pulling on the black locks, but still trying not to hurt him. Phil didn’t mind Dan’s reactions, however. He knew this part hurt like a bitch and he was willing to sacrifice his comfort if it meant Dan would be enjoying this more. It’s all he cared about, really. 

“Phil-” Dan’s voice was airy, like he didn’t even know he was talking, or making any noise at all, as if it were just a natural reaction for his body. Phil waited when he was fully inside Dan, letting him adjust. Phil bit Dan’s lip, pulling it lightly, and let it ping back into place, making Dan quite literally yank Phil’s head down to kiss him. Phil’s hips began to move, in and out, starting small, until he built it up to using his full length to thrust. 

Phil rested on his forearms, straddling Dan’s head on the pillow. They were both panting, overwhelmed with pleasure. Phil let out breathy moans every now and then, which gave Dan butterflies in his stomach. Even after six years, it still made him blush knowing that he was making Phil feel this goof, even though Phil was doing most of the work. 

Their noses bumped, making Phil smile, a reminder of the past, where the would only give each other Eskimo kisses, instead of real ones. They were super careful about their relationship at first, especially since Dan was only 19 when they started dating, and still living under the roof of his parents house. 

Phil would drop him off a few blocks down the street, and even though they wanted to so badly, they didn’t want to risk being caught in the prestigious neighborhood, or area he lived in, It was a really religious part of the London suburbs, and Dan couldn’t venture too far out beyond it, as his parents made a rule, even though he was an adult, they told him that if he were to live under his roof after betraying his own upbringing, and being a homosexual disgrace, that he was to follow the nitty gritty rules his parents set, and if he were to break them, he’d be kicked out. Those rules included no boys, or boyfriends. That was the only rule Dan broke that summer, before officially leaving to move in with Phil. To this day, his parents still have no idea that Dan isn’t living alone. They even had the courtesy to tell him that his first novel was “too much against the people who raise you to be who you are.” Dan would never be able to make them happy, and he was okay with that. 

Dan ran his nails along Phil’s back, maybe even breaking skin, but the feeling was just too good for him to stop, he could stop thinking about Phil, Phil, Phil so good oh my-

Dan let out a noise, almost a squeak, before he came over his stomach, and Phil’s. Phil finished not far after, into the condom. 

For about fifteen minutes, they just laid there, catching their breath, cooling down. But also just being together. They would peck the others nose, or kiss their hair, and just be the romantic cliche couple they are. 

They eventually cleaned up, and got on a fresh pair of pajamas, and after blowing out the candle, they realized how late it was. Phil chuckled, wrapping his arms around Dan who had sat at his desk, opening up his document again.

“Love, it’s almost eleven. You need to sleep.” Phil said, kissing his cheek. “C’mon, come cuddle me.”

Dan couldn’t turn down that offer, spinning his chair around, and standing. Phil invited him under the covers, which Dan had freshly washed due to his procrastination today. The fresh scent of the duvet made them both feel cozy, and at home. Phil wrapped an arm over Dan’s body, pulling him into his torso. Dan nuzzled Phil’s chest, kissing the bare skin, before muttering a ‘good night’. 

“Night. I love you.” Phil said, turning off the lamp next to him. 

“I love you more.”

ello yes dis is the end

i realy like this one actually???? ig idk lol

SEND ME REQUESTS IT WILL MOTIVATE ME TO WRITE HHHH

[nixnjix]

Down below is a Written Commission I did for @justice-incarn8 A small Persona 5 fanfiction piece between Ryuji and Mishima.

Enjoy~ (If you personally want a written commission from myself, simply notify me)

Is Mishima at it again?” Ryuji groaned, scrolling through the Phan-site on his mobile. He knew the guy was a workaholic but even this shit was too much. The last time he seen the guy was during class; the guy could barely keep his damn head up all the while speaking with him. Hell he even looked sick, his voice all nasally, hardly able to move, much less talk. It had to be taking a toll on the man.

When it came to his buds, Ryuji looked out for them and Mishima had done so much for the Phan’om Thieves, it was damn near impossible not to think of the guy as part of the crew. And it was even harder not to think back on what Mishima had been through. Kamoshida put him through some shit with his bullshit training.

Ryuji rubbed his right thigh, his muscles throbbing at the mere thought of it. He was still recovering from the whole ordeal. He knew his leg may never be the same but he was going to effing try and rebuild as much as he could. He didn’t want to be a burden on his teammates, not when their leader had done so much to get them this far.

“Mishima!” Ryuji finally managed to flag the damn guy down before he went into class. And damn did this guy look like he went through hell and back. He thought Mishima looked bad in the morning, now he looked ten times worse. He was even holding a damn tissue to his nose for pete’s sake, “Damn dude,” he cringed away when Mishima blew into it, “what the hell happened?”

“I think” -a long sniff- “I caught the flu…,” Mishima answered in a nasally voice

“No shit… Why didn’t you just stay home?” The teachers would ever catch him dead here on a sick day.

“I had to… tell Akira… about a chan-”

“Ya’ coulda just texted him ya’ know,” Ryuji interrupted before he could say anymore.

“It was… important….,” his voice a soft whisper.

Hell Ryuji didn’t like the guy’s shallow breathing. Damn near look like he’ll collapse at any second. Scratching the back of his head, he groaned, “The hell, dude. Shoulda just stayed at home… Ugh who’s your next teach?”

Mishima stared, puzzled, “Ms. Kawakami… What are you doing, Sakamoto- Whoa!”

It took all his energy to remain upright as Ryuji grabbed his arm. The thing he knew he was practically being towed through the school, “Sakamoto!” His voice came out weakly but still contained his panic, “Hey!”

“You’re sick, man! The hell I look like watchin’ ya die on me?!”

“B-But Akira!”

“I’ll tell ‘im later about the thing, alright? I’m taking your ass home.”

His voice brooked no argument, it was hard to fight Sakamoto whenever he was so adamant about something. With a sigh, Mishima resigned himself, allowing him to take him wherever. Secretly he found it to be a relief, a burden off his shoulders as he listened quietly to Ryuji argue his case with the teacher.

One look was all it took for Ms. Kawakami to send him home with a slip.

“I still don’t see why you had to come with me…,” Mishima muttered. The subway train was vacant this afternoon, a relief because he knew he wouldn’t be able to take being compact in a small space with his state right now.

Sakamoto, the perfect picture of relaxation beside im, leaning back in his seat, arms behind his head, peered at him sideways, “You hardly looked like you could stand, let alone haul your ass on the train. Someone gotta make sure you get home.”

“I hardly need a babysitter…”

“Your parents at home?”

“No. They should be at work…” He had tried calling them earlier to no success.

Sakamoto grinned, “Then I’ll stay until they get home.”

“W-What?!”

“Yo. Get off that phone.”

Mishima nearly wanted to groan. This was not how he expected his day to go. He would have never imagined Sakamoto making himself at home on his bed. “I have to check on the Phan-site.” The recent decline on the latest poll had him concerned. Day by day, the support for the Phantom Thieves was dwindling; messages of ridicule and hate appearing by the hundreds by the hour.

It was time consuming to shuffle with the messages of support to weed out the negativity and false leads on the site, the cleanup breaching into his sleep at times.

I have to show my support somehow… This was the only way he could feel useful to them. I’ll show them what this site could really do for us!

Just as he started to type out a reply to a new supporter, the phone was plucked right out of his grasp.

“Hey!” He scrambled for his phone Sakamoto held high above him.

“Relax, geez.” With a gentle shove, Ryuji pushed him on the bed, “You’re working way too much. You need to rest before you push yourself too far,” he groused, tucking the phone safely in his pocket.

“There’s always the laptop.”

“Do I need to take that away from you too? I thought you didn’t need a babysitter. Sounding helluva a lot like you need one.”

Mishima muttered under his breath, crossing his arms across his chest. It wasn’t long before he sighed, laying back on the pillows. “I feel so useless…”

“Hey, man,” Sakamoto settled down on the ledge, “You been doing so much for us, man. You need to sit back and chill for a moment. We got this.” Without the site and the constant support from him and others… hell he wouldn’t have thought they would be doing this for this long. “You deserve a break.”

“I haven’t been doing much of anything… You guys have been doing all the work.” Mishima rested his arm on his forehead, a weary look entering his gaze, “It’s just after Kamoshida…”

“You still think that bastard was right?” Ryuji snapped. “Do you look so useless now?!”

Mishima pondered over it. A slight smile tugged at his lips, “No… My site. No. The Phantom Thieves really allowed people to get the courage to fight back. I guess I have done something.”

“Damn right. Now lay your ass here and get better man. We can’t have our main supporter out of commission for long. How else are we gonna get our targets?”

“Right.”

[imanes]

do you think that "influencers" and celebs should speak out about "political issues"? (putting it in brackets bc. it's clearly an understatement n not accurate but idk how to word it) re: palestine? cause i've seen a lot of people be like "yeah they shouldn't talk about it if they're not educated or if they're just doing it for the trend" (even tho at this point its been so all over social media that ppl cant use the "im not educated enough" excuse anymore) n all and i guess it's a fair point and all but also? idk when i'm on social media and i see ppl talking about what's happening in palestine, and then i scroll down and see ppl be like omg new haul uwu! vlog with my friends! and thats just so???? idk. idk what to think bc on the other hand ofc performative activism is bad ykw? (like....re: blm ppl just posting a black square on their ig....) but i don't know what to think about it and i would love to hear your thoughts!!!

inchresting question to which i have no concrete answer to provide (except a lot of ramblings) because it is a thorny subject related to the ubiquity of digital society and the social weight we give to a certain class of people who frame their existence as something that could represent us but actually doesn't at all. and everybody and their mother - including me - has an opinion on it but at the end of the day it's just an opinion, not an empirical fact to be presented, and not even one i think about a lot bc it isn't a primary concern of mine on a day to day basis. so i'm like not looking for a debate with some random tumblr user (not talking about u anon, but talking about whoever might care too much about my inconsequential opinion) bc this is a question i'm answering, not a question i'm asking so to anyone tempted to "well according to the encyclopedia of pfppspfpsp" me, make ur own post!

i guess we can start with "should influencers/celebrities/people who are famous by virtue of being well-known even exist and should we lend weight to their words?" the answer to that may vary from person to person but social media accounts with a very large following can indeed turn tides with regard to socio-political crises, such as demonstrated by bella hadid who single-handedly educated a whole generation of south-korean netizens through her posts on palestine so we can see the good effects of that. now obviously bella hadid is personally concerned by the ethnic cleansing of palestine and has a lot more at stake than say rihanna with her all lives matter bullshit statement (someone said "saudi dick must be potent" but i think it has more to do with her contract with puma who is actually on the BDS list) or even jameela jamil who has a terminal case of "everything must be about me always".

people can say whatever they want about what well-known ppl are allowed to speak about or not but i'll just remind that these "influencers" and whatnot are people and they're bound to want to talk about stuff, especially when it is relevant or when prompted by their own following, because literally everybody with an account on a social media platform expresses their opinions about smt at one point or another in time. that includes random ppl on facebook commenting under news with their stale hot takes. famous ppl or "influencers" are no different.

I'll also say that "influence" only goes so far so I'm not *particulary* concerned with whatever whoever that i don't take seriously says. let me take the queen of talking out of her ass jameela jamil as a case study for this. people who agreed with her bizarre and narcissistic takes are already bound to agree with her because people flock to opinions that are similar to theirs. in my opinion that is not influence, that is attracting similar weirdos in your sphere and consequently creating impenetrable echo chambers of idiocy. did her stale ass take become a "consensus" amongst the indecisive? i don't know for sure bc i haven't run a survey but my assumption is that people who have critical thinking skills were rightfully put off by her rancid take and called her out publicly for it, providing sources and information, which i think is visible enough for anyone 2 look through. and people who like her talk and think out of their asses were like "wow preach i've been saying!" so they are themselves inconsequential.

so in my opinion it is less about influencing - because at this point i think someone can be influenced by a single person into buying a product but your fave singer is not going to make you buy into their ideology just because they released one lukewarm-at-best statement - and more about signaling where you stand. when viola davis and idris elba (amongst many others) stated that they stood by palestine, they made it clear that they stood against apartheid and ethnic cleansing and people who already agreed on these basic principles saluted their stance. do i believe they changed anybody's mind? not really, that is the job of well-informed people such as activists disseminating information and other people sharing the info. do i think that mark ruffalo lost all credibility with his flip-flopping? absolutely, and it doesn't reflect back on palestine, it reflects badly on HIM. we're in an era where people are bombarded with so much information from all sides that one person saying something is a drop in a bucket no matter how famous they are. this is also why we say that israhell lost the PR war. we were and are too loud 2 be ignored now and a few celebrities showcasing how inane they are doesn't change anything. the famous-ppl-market is too saturated for their opinion to matter a whoooole lot. support is appreciated but not hailed as the second-coming jesus u know what i mean?

to address ur final point about finding it weird that some people flat-out ignore some stuff while you are neck-deep into it, I think it's an understandable situation to find yourself in and as subhi taha said, it just looks tacky. i think it should be your cue to just unfollow whoever doesn't align with your interest content-wise. i unfollowed a loooot of people lately because of that like I really didn't give a fuck about Michelle phan's cryptocurrency peddling (which was already yikes on principle) in the midst of real-time live-stream decolonisation and liberation struggles against apartheid and ethnic cleansing, and at this point I don't think I can go back to caring about using social media for frivolous things (except cats and memes account bc they bring me joy) and following bigger accounts that are trying 2 sell me some shit, because I've changed in the past weeks, one could say I've become more "radical" (lol) and I'm ready to sustain an online space that caters to my concerns and abandon all content that I indeed find tacky in between two posts that talk about some serious shit. it's not to say I'll never post a pic of the sunset on Instagram again or that I don't consume content that has literally nothing to do with informing myself and disseminating information on decolonisation and anti-capitalism (I literally watch study vlogs from med students to unwind lol), or that "everybody should use their account in this specific way because it's the only one that is valid" (it's not and i don't care what other ppl do) but u are obviously dissatisfied with ur feed for valid reasons and while some ppl may not share your opinion it doesn't mean that you shouldn't take steps to make ur user experience less jarring.

it's again just an *opinion*, not a to-do list or smt that i'd ever want 2 present as a "fact", at the end of the day everybody curates their online spaces the way they want to and if you find your current configuration to be distasteful, that's understandable. and everybody is entitled to believe that celebrities/influencers/glorified sellers of products and lifestyles and disorders talking or not talking about certain things can be harmful or beneficial, as there are arguments and examples for and against it and i am personally not interested in participating the debate even tho i wrote a long ass text about it akjdlkfjgd I'm sorry about this u might be regretting ever asking me this question. hope i made sense!