#im aware that this wont really be that big of a deal

[aychama]

Odd question, but how do you feel about artists making designs of their own characters in the Royalty AU? Like as a hypothetical character of the universe, just for an exercise of creativity?

I only ask because I know that some people don't like it, so I just wanted to check before potentially doing anything :)

Im %100 fine with it! I think it is fine to play around.

However I would like to say if you guys make your characters interact with my au's characters and stuff that i want you guys to be aware that the full story isnt out and that character personalities,designs and story might change and might not be the same as you have envisioned so dont get too attached to them <3

[katamarigender]

cons of hyperfixating SPECIFICALLY on an oc: eventually you will be the only person who does not have fatigue from seeing this guy over and over again

[straykats]

actually while im exhausted im gonna rant 🤩

[dollcherray]

✮⋆˙ FROM THE START ୨୧

Yandere Oliver x shy reader

tw: Uhh yanderes are their own warning, obsessive behavior, Bullying, OOC in some parts(?) sadism(?) suggestive if you squint, isolation, toxic relationship, guilt tripping, please remember that this is not a healthy way to love someone nor its hot so always seek help if u encounter a person like this. theres some english mistakes too, sincerest apologies

୨୧ Oliver is a little piece of shit, we all know that so right off the bat, it would be no small feat that he would make fun of you, you were really asking for it in his vision just by the way you acted, he probably already would be the meanest of them all, and with you being shy? just doubles it.

୨୧ You were probably a new student that just got into the school, you probably would hang out with Abbie, which just drawed his attention to you more and obviously, making him mentally draw this big red target in ur back, congrats, you're now another target of his bullying.

୨୧ By the time he's been teasing you, Oliver would start to develop a very strange feeling everytime he saw you, he didnt know what that feeling was but it was growing everytime he would catch you in his eye sight.

୨୧ When he realizes, he's already too obsessed with you and he honestly dont know how someone so popular and tough like him got so enthralled by someone so shy and pathetic like you, but the reasons were diverse, he just doesnt see it. (or refuses to see it)

୨୧ It was probably Zip who would make him aware about his "crush" by teasingly asking if he was in love when she catched him staring at you too much, of course, Zip didnt know the deep lovesickness her friend developed for the shy student they usually picked up on.

୨୧ from that moment on, Oliver would make your life hell, the bullying would get way worse, if you had any friends, they would suddenly cut ties with you out of the blue or avoid you in general.

୨୧ Oliver would definitely use that to make you feel bad and more fragilized, he likes instigating those bad feelings on you because of your reactions, maybe hes just a sadist.

୨୧ Oliver is mean, obsessive, possessive, over protective and manipulative, often using your shy nature to his advantage and entertainment, making you do things for him and etc...

୨୧ Oliver after some time would manipulate you into staying more with him and his little trio, saying that at least you wouldnt stay alone anymore and that made you really confused and a bit suspicious but you knew how cruel he is and knew better than questioning him, so you just tagged along, you thought that maybe it would get better from there. little did you know that it would actually get worse from there.

୨୧ Oliver would grow more desperate and possessive of his love the more time passes, he would often fantasize lots of things with him and you and when you notice it, he wouldnt even let you stay with the trio anymore, you could only stay with him.

୨୧ You didnt have any other friends other than him, even though you didnt really consider him a friend, and if you tried to get some new friends, he would make those new friends avoid you in the same or next day.

୨୧ If you try to ignore him or avoid him, he would just use the guilt tripping card, saying that you are being so bad with him for nothing and that he is only trying to help you even though you KNOW deep down that he is only lying, but you just cant help but feel bad.

୨୧ Oliver would probably be very touch starved, but wouldnt really show it to you, a simple touch on your arm, shoulder or anything like that, would already make him go crazy and possibly want more, but he keeps him smug and mean facade, he cant let you see such side from him. not now at least

୨୧ Like it or not, you are trapped with a narcissist that wont let you go so soon, you will have to deal with his smug nature until you two part ways.

୨୧ “im the only one who wants you in my presence.”

[kiyeuo]

CREDITING MOODBOARDS

some cussing so im sorry but yk!

please please please credit moodboards that arent urs and that u repost/reupload or use on a diff website/platform. everywhere i go, on roblox, pin, insta, or wtv i keep on seeing moodboards stolen from ppl w/o any credits. n tbf it shouldnt be much of a big deal to do, because you can just simply put “credits @______ on wtv”. you guys r lit so funny acting like crediting is so mf hard, like if u have time to download all the pics n add a whole ass list of tags, just spending less than a min to credit the og poster wont hurt! making moodboards is really hard sometimes, as u need to find the right images n shit, but by some people just taking them off n not crediting its really disrespectful n the fact some of ygys even claim as urs? like where the fuck is the reasoning in that!

please use some common sense n credit the original posters its literally not that hard..! i cannot emphasize how important it is to credit the bro wtf??? like jsut please use ur brain omfg

i cant write anymore n shit cs ill jsut be repeating the same info again n again w more cussing so yeah! :3

please help spread awareness , reblogging n tagging ppl!!!

tags ::

@chaeryeos @hourlyhoon @artoruu @sh2ua @daezsuki @heeivrs @prettias @porcelise (guys idk this is rushed)

[pjsk-headcanons]

PINNED!!!!

Headcanon submissions are currently closed.

other things are alright tho just no headcanons since i rlly need to clean up the inbox kndlsjd

hi! i thought a blog like this would be fun. i was inspired by @/projectsekaitakes.

layout by @vividly-idol-archives here

blog run by @vbs-kaitos-big-naturals

you can submit through asks!

(apologies in advance if i ever misinterpret something you tell me, im either distracted or very tired while queueing thingswww. you can tell me in asks or messages if i get something wrong!)

Rules:

You are not allowed to have more than 5 headcanons in the queue. dont feel too stressed or guilty about this, its not really a big deal. if you lose track, just wait about a day and you should be fine.

You are not allowed to complain or hate on the headcanons in the replies or reblogs. you are, however, allowed to give your own.

I. e., "Honami can't stand the smell of car exhaust." can have people in the replies saying, "i always thought she would hate the smell of lemons"

You are not allowed to submit headcanons exclusively about gender/sexuality/romanticism. those can get oversaturated really quickly, so to avoid it ive decided to not allow them, sorry. you can send shit like "akito is a little whore slut babygirl" and I'll probably post that since it doesnt really have to do with actual identity or orientation.

Don't misgender Mizuki or erase her representation.

No sexual headcanons. sorry! I'm okay with that stuff, but im also aware that many people aren't so let's not do that here! again, more jokey submissions are okay (read: akito is a little whore slut babygirl) since that isnt really explicit but I'd rather not do anything past that.

No asks that perpetuate harmful stereotypes.

No use of the word "Latinx". you can use latine or latino instead!

AU headcanons are allowed! in fact, i would love them! all i ask is you make a lil note about it before the actual headcanon so people have Context

please notify me if i don't tag something correctly! I'll try to add trigger warnings for everything but i might make mistakes!

if a hc includes a ship, I'll tag that ship. i may tag a group of two or more characters that dont have a name (i.e. shinonome siblings, white day trio, etc.) with "[ship name] hc" (looks at akian) but ill only tag things with the actual ship tag if the characters are explicitly stated to be something other than friends

if submissions get repetitive or follow the same topic/character a lot, i wont queue them and wait until it dies down to put it in the queue. i won't ever delete an ask unless it breaks a rule above!

in the tags of the post, i, blog runner, will share my thoughts on the headcanon. i wont be negative, i promise!

[note: the tag for kohane headcanons is #kohampster hc]

most of all, have fun! that's what fandom is about!

[elllisaaa]

Hihi , im not really sure if it would be ur style of writing but i had a dream abt it and i thought u could write smth along those lines(i think for this fluff would be good🥹 but if u wanna add smut is fine too hehe)

Heres the prompt:

Basically most of the days you would be hanging out w ur bff beomgyu after sch, just hanging out in each other’s presence is enough. You guys wont force a conversation if its not needed n sitting in silence gives you both a peace of mind.(thise type of fs)

But one day u told him that u were going to an event with ur girl bff , where she could see her fav artist , and you being a supportive bestie decided to go with her!

Somehow thru the night things changed and you ended up with beomgyu saying these words: “ It’s always been you y/n, my eyes are only for you”

(Not rlly sure if this is how a prompt should be(if im giving too much cos this is my first prompt) but i hope it sparks interest >_<)

hiii anonie !! this definitely so damn cute, i got a little overboard with this one but i love it so much, it's so soft omgg ! this definitely such a good idea i love it, and don't worry - the longer your thoughts are, the more i'm happy !

BFF!BEOMGYU who never stops annoying you every day, be it by sending you tons of texts or by dropping by your place when he's done with his schedule. well, you always claim that he's annoying but he knows that it isn't the truth and that you're always happy to see him.

"by the way, i will not be there for our movie night tomorrow, i'm sorry." beomgyu turned to you with a judgemental look on his face. "you're letting me down !?" you rolled your eyes as you threw one of the cushions of your sofa at him. "don't be so dramatic. i'm just going to a fanmeeting with one of my friend because she didn't want to be alone."

and even if your reasons were very valid, beomgyu couldn't help but be bothered. you always spend your free time with him, and it didn't even matter if the two of you just laid in your bed in silence, watching a serie while playing stupid games on your phones. it didn't matter because what he seeked was your presence, feeling you by his side. he loved to know that he could lay his head on your lap anytime and that you would drop your phone to thread your fingers through his hair until he fell asleep.

but sometimes, just sometimes, he wished he could be even closer to you. the type of closeness that would allow him to feel jealous about you going to a fanmeeting of another idol. the type of closeness that would allow him to kiss you, and love you like you deserved to be loved.

a pout was visible on his face, but what was even more striking was the slighlty hurt look in his eyes. and even if your best friend was always a little drama queen whenever you cancelled plans with him or hung out with somebody else, you never took him too seriously, knowing that he just liked to yap. but today, it seemed different.

beomgyu didn't want to separate from your warm body, but he still sat up, already missing the feeling of your hands in his hair, but his heart was hurting too much to keep pretending this time. it was nothing, he was aware, and he didn't have any right being jealous or feeling like he was. but he did, and he wished you would feel the same even if it was impossible because he was him and you were yourself, and there was simply no way that you would love him like that.

"why are you taking it like that gyu ? i know it's a little late to let you know, i should've told you before but it's no big deal, yeah ? i'm free this weekend if you wanna come by after practice, i'll even cook for you if you want."

beomgyu could feel a knot forming in his throat the more you talked, realizing how wrong he was for making you feel guilty about something you weren't responsible for. but the question he was dying to ask still got out of his mouth, the words coming out almost against his will : "do you like him more than me ? do you think that he sings better ? is that why you're letting me down ?"

his shaking voice made your heart clench, and you paused the movie that was now serving as a background noise, focusing entirely on your best friend and the way he was fidgeting, not daring to look you in the eyes but he seemed more than anxious, more than sad.

"where is that coming from gyu ? i've never said that. or did i make you feel this way ?" but beomgyu shook his head no. "you didn't. it's just…" he stopped for a moment, seemingly thinking about something before he curled up on himself on your couch, gaze fixed on the frozen tv screen. "forget it, i'm just being selfish."

the entire mood had changed, but you couldn't care less - you were only very worried about your best friend. "you know you can be selfish sometimes, i don't mind. tell me what's going on, please ?" and beomgyu finally looked at you in the eyes, biting his lips as if he was still unsure about what he was going to say : "i'm making a big deal out of this because i want to be the only one you're fangirling over, okay ? i want to be the only one you find handsome, and the only one you gush to your friends about. i wanna be the only one for you because for me it has always been you y/n, my eyes are only on you."

you looked at him dumbfounded, as you clearly didn't expect a confession, especially from your best friend. but quickly, a little smile spread on your lips as you reached for beomgyu's hand. he let you do that, and he let you pull him closer to you too, your face only inches away from the other.

"you've always been the only one for me too gyu, i simply didn't think that you would feel the same because you're always surrounded by the most beautiful girls of the country, so why would you choose me ?" - "because i'm in love with you, so in love with you it hurts sometimes." your smile was matching his, and you could see his brown eyes sparkling with joy again. "i'm in love with you too, have been for so long." - "does that mean i can kiss you now ?" you chuckled but still nodded : "yes, you can."

so beomgyu kissed you, and the way his heart exploded in his ribcage was only another proof of how down bad for you he was. and he didn't want this feeling to ever stop if that meant he could wake up by your side every morning.

[uselessvaldemarsimp]

"less-cannon-accurate" annnnd there it is, thanks for letting us know that the author of that "route" treats Valdemar being aroace just as an inconvenient little detail to be discarded. what a shame

DISCLAIMER: i am not aroace! this is simply my opinion, take what i say with a grain of salt

here’s what i have to say:

is valdemar good aroace representation in the first place?

i dont think so! their orientation was announced in a, correct me if im wrong, comment section of an instagram post, and no where else! the fact that they and vulgora, villains, are the only nonbinary characters that use they/them exclusively, and the fact that valdemar, again, a villain, is the only aroace character in the entire game, is simply overall bad representation! a villain being aroace isn’t inherently bad representation, but all other things considered in this specific situation, the creators seem to view aroace people as inhumane freaks! yikes!

is this an excuse to erase said gender and sexuality?

not really, no!

is the valdemar dorian route by ronelle otieno good aroace representation despite this?

i think so! it’s done very well in my opinion, being an integral part of their character, not explicitly stated but shown through their actions and storytelling, it honestly makes valdemar seem a little more human, the way that their orientation is shown. i think ronelle otieno took something that was a poorly done afterthought and made it into good representation

can aroace people partake in sex and romance?

yes! this is a pretty obvious fact that most people are aware of by now

since that’s the case, is the inclusion of sex and/or romance when engaging with an aroace character an erasure of their sexuality?

not inherently! again, aroace people Can partake in these things, despite what some people may think!

HOWEVER, is deviating from canon with an aroace character who has been explicitly stated to not have an interest in sex and romance an erasure of their sexuality?

honestly, this is where things get tricky, but i think i have a way of thinking about it:

do actions = attraction?

i dont think so! i think people can kiss whoever they want, have sex with whoever they want, give flowers to whoever they want, without it being a direct show of their orientation. therefore, while it may be deviating from canon, it isn’t an inherent erasure of the characters sexuality. an erasure of aroace sexuality would be having that character specifically show or state that they are romantically and/or sexually attracted to someone. that’s where we begin having issues! if you have a problem with deviating from canon, that’s an entirely different thing, and i suggest you never interact with fandoms ever! for your own sanity.

people swap the sexualities of characters all the time, why is it such an issue when people do it with aroace characters, or queer characters in general?

lack of representation! if all these different flavors of queer were normalized, as they should be, people wouldn’t have so much of an issue with playing around with characters sexualities, but because representation is spare, people cling onto these aspects of these characters for dear life, even if the representation isn’t good representation

so what should people be fighting for?

more representation! instead of hanging onto characters who’s orientation is already a badly done, arguably acephobic afterthought, maybe the best course of action is to make an effort to create more aro and/or ace representation in general!

at the end of the day, is this all that big of a deal?

not really! you are the the captain of your own ship. you can choose to interact with things, or dont! wasting energy arguing over something that wont change is not worth your precious time. using that energy to create and promote Good representation is probably a better use of ones energy.

i highly encourage aroace people, especially those who have read the dorian route, to share their opinions. i dont intend to speak For or Over aroace people, im just a stranger on the internet who has thought a lot about things that dont really matter a whole lot in the grand scheme of things

[blkkizzat]

Kali losing her virginity story time when

sis lmfao it's not glamorous... ngl i 18 and i was crossfaded af at a college party and "superman" by eminem was playing.

LMFAO A MESS, ill talk about it but i don't wanna trigger anyone so under the cut. tw sex under the influence; dubcon

i probably wasn't in the right mind frame to consent or anything tbh (so please dont be like me stay safe). well, honestly now that i think about it, i think it was just that last bong hit that had me out of my mind. although i was already naked atp lol so i was down to have sex. but right after that's when i blacked out and when i came to i was literally moaning as ol'boy had a mouth full of my pussy hjdfasdjhfasdjh. i just wanted to lose my v and get it over with so i was happy to go with the flow. (disclaimer: back in the day when i was drinking hard dark liquor and mixed it with weed i would literally black out, but not go unconscious but just lose that time and not know wtf i was doing for the last 20 mins. But people have told me i was talking/acting like normal so idk.bdjhsdfjh but it happened then too. its only happened to me like 3-4 times tbh all when i binge drank heavy in college and smoked a fuckton of weed. so no it wasn't like i was unconscious and he was hooking up with me anyway).

that said, ngl that was some of the best sex i ever had in college. high sex is always great for me tbh and i dont remember it hurting much (but he had also just ate me out for like 45 min) but i think me and ol'boy just had good natural chemistry. he lived on the 3rd floor and my friends on the first floor said they heard me kfjhsdkjshdfkvjhsd.

one awkward asf thing though is the guy did not know i was a virgin and i would have told him if i wasnt so fucked up fjkhrfkdhgkdf.

also just wanna note, im not sad or upset at all. i always gave zero fucks about the construct of virginity (personally, please if you want it to be nice and special that is your preference and nothing is wrong with that). and sidenote thats why other than the one virgin!reader fic i will write (she wont really give af either tho tbh), i dont like writing virgin!reader cause i dont believe in idealizing it.

honestly i just wanted to lose it cause up until that point i was scared to use a tampon and was tired of being in the bloody dirt trenches with pads fhsdfjkhasfjaksh. like it wasnt even about "losing my virginity to a tampon", i was just scared to put it in. but literally got my period a week later and was like "well a dick has been in me" and found the courage to put it in. i was a silly bitch im fully aware LOL!

but i will say, it was this weird thing after where i felt bad for NOT feeling bad. like i had other friends who idealized virginity so much (then were all pikachu face when they found out i didnt want to tell them i had sex), i felt like there was something wrong with me for not thinking it was a big deal. even sometimes now, i wont want to discuss it just because so may people do idolize it its annoying to have to deal with their reactions and reassure them "no i dont feel like i was SA'd, no i dont regret it, yes i actually enjoyed the experience."

however i will say now im in the middle.

these days im alot more selective with who i fuck as personally i subscribe to the ideas of tantra/tantric sex. That while you can have sex without emotions, you can't have it without an energy exchange. sometimes ive felt shitty after one-night stands or liked the friends with bennies for the pleasure in sex but felt off after. i realized that those feelings weren't due to guilt from slut-shaming but the fact that their energy was off and it was now having an effect on me. so rn im DTF 100%—but yo energy gotta be right. and usually i cant tell that just from the bar or first meeting so ive been waiting more.

i rambled again jsdhsdjhbj but oh well.

[navvyu]

An: Thanks for requesting! this definitely took longer than i thought it would, kinda rushed so it might be trash. also i had to rewrite lilia's like 3 times bc im horrible at writing him lmao 〒▽〒

Vice-Housewardens with a yandere! Male! Reader pt 2

*Not beta read

part one here!

Warnings: implied stalking, implied murder/violence, creepy behavior(?), kidnapping (all by reader)

Includes: Trey, ruggie, jade, Jamil, rook, lilia

Trey

Trey definitely felt something to be off, but he really didn't know how to deal with it

though it was good that his dorm members weren't causing such a fuss all the time, it was concerning that the more problematic students seemed to disappear out of thin air

be started to get worried for his doommates so he intended to be around them more but it was just making the situation worse

so he did what he thought was logical, he pushed other people away to see if students would start disappearing, it ultimately lead up to him being captured though

trey attempted to try and manipulate you, failing miserably

overall he doesn't try very hard to escape but he still tries every now and again

""

Ruggie

ruggie, being who he is was a bit confused upon finding fresh food left at his doorstep...multiple times.... in one day

thought it was incredibly odd, he greatly took the food

and the (seemingly) last dish of the day add an odd taste and it made him light headed

when held in captivity, it depends on how you treat him.

if you treat him well (lots of food, heating & cooling, etc) he would be less inclined to escape

but if you are rougher with him, he'll try to escape almost immediately

either way he wouldn't be afraid to bite or scratch at you

he would never once stop trying to escape, but his attempts got a lot more spaced out

"Won't you let me go? Ive got places to be!"

Jade

jade originally somehow didn't notice anything amiss at first, he was just happy finding that his terrariums were thriving more than usual and floyd was othering him less

but eventually he picked up on some... odd behaviours

so he attempted to launch his own "private" investigation, wich made it increasingly easy to obtain him

depending on if you give jade a water container or not,

A) If you have a water container he would constantly be banging on the glass or trying to break it

B) If you don't have a water container he would try and bite you or hit you, he would also refuse to drink potions that let him keep his human form

though Jade is persistent, he could live alone and not bother you but he will try and be as big an inconvenience as possible

"You are honestly so disgusting, you fiend."

Jamil

jamil immediately noticed changing behaviour of his dormembers, along with somebody watching him almost every hour of the day

jamil was constantly on guard at all hours of the day, but he noticed that the feeling of being watched disappeared when he was near you so he absentmindedly gravitated towards you (it made it alot more easy to corner him)

in captivity Jamil is aggressive both physically and verbally

he is constantly trying to escape no matter how long he's with you (unless if you mentally break him, but thats gonna take a while...)

he may lay off more physically later but he wont stop insulting you as long as he can talk

"Your a person. How could you do this?"

Rook

rook, though an adept hunter, could not for the life of him pinpoint who was constantly watching him

even if he was aware of somebody obsessively stalking him, he didn't know if it was out of hatred or love, so he was often on guard

it was hard trying to get rook into captivity, but eventually you can lure him away from other people and knock him out

while under your 'care', he'd try to convince you he's trust worthy enough for you to let him go

rook often attempts to persuade you to do something so he can get an opening to attack or harm you

eventually he turns to insulting you to see how far your willing to go

rook ends up just shutting up and refusing to talk, eat, drink water, and other necessary things

"I hope you succumb to death, so i wont have to deal with your cruelty."

Lilia

lilia was definitely hurt when diasomnia members started avoiding him out of the blue

but at least some of the kids were more willing to try his food!

was definitely one of the harder people to capture and contain due to his hyperness

lilia doesn't like being confined, so he'd try and escape often

since lilia has probably been in a situation similar to this, it'd be VERY hard to keep him contained but if you somehow were able to; he would constantly be trying to escape wither you were there or not

he truly never gives up on trying to escape, but he mellows out and just watches you everytime your near him

"..."

[stranger-rants]

one of my favourite things about the st wiki is how openly biased it is. i was trying to double-check if eddie actually sold more than weed or if that was just a thing in fanfics, and whoever wrote his wiki clearly just didnt want to mention him selling drugs.

its not in the brief intro thing or in the like table showing basic demographic info. its also not mentioned in the background subsection of the history section. both write very positively about how unique he is and how welcoming the hellfire club is though.

its finally mentioned in the next subsection, BUT only after the wiki straight up misrepresents the whole lucas cant join the final session of the campaign thing to be in eddies favour. it just doesnt mention that eddie is the one who wont move the session even though literally every dungeon master has had to reschedule at least one session.

also, the actual whole chrissy wants to buy drugs from eddie is described as: "Later that day, Eddie met with Chrissy Cunningham to partake in a drug deal with her."

partake in a drug deal is a weird fucking way to spell sell someone drugs.

it does actually mention that eddie was planning to sell her ketamine in the next subsection, but very much brushes over it as if its not really a big deal and like,,,,

youre very unlikely to overdose on ketamine and its not the most dangerous drug for teenagers to take, but it can also be addictive and can have long term effects on the body. like it can cause mental health issues and it can also fuck with your bladder and urinary tract. it can also be dangerous to mix with other substances and in the 19fucking80s, i doubt a lot of small town teenagers are super well educated on that kind of thing; a lot of teenagers arent now when we can google it and get an answer in like two minutes.

(and im aware that addiction and dealing and similar topics are heavily related to things like class and race and poverty and i dont want to brush over that.)

its not that i think eddies evil for it because hes not, but i also dont think you should portray selling ketamine to teenagers as a neutral act because its not.

its genuinely hysterical how hard whoever wrote the wiki tried to avoid mentioning that their uwu favourite character deals drugs and then immediately brushes over it when they have to mention it.

im still laughing at "partake in a drug deal" when hes the fucking dealer.

They'll use passive language to influence how people think about the character and their actions. You can't trust Wikis to give objective information about any character.

Meanwhile, Billy's underage drinking is listed as a crime and Lucas is listed as his nemesis despite them hardly interacting outside of one incident. Like, let's be real here.

[piviani]

2023 and 2024: kim sunoo’s career

( disclaimer: please do remember to take my readings with a grain of salt. i am in no way a professional tarot reader and all of this are alleged and is for entertainment purposes only. )

2023

cards: judgement - knight of pentacles in reverse - eight of swords in reverse - page of pentacles - knight of swords

sunoo may be starting to truly know what name he wants for himself. for sunoo’s career this 2023 he could just be evaluating his potential, stability, talent and such and carefully picking and choosing which one brings him more expansion to his career. “to take an action is to understand.” year 2023 is like just a preperation for himself, whats about to come, and a handful ideas as dawning an acceptance for himself. sunoo’s still finding his purpose, which leads to hundreds of not-so-good choices as hes taking risks here and there and i believe its completely okay. there will be regret and there will be sucess; it’s part of the process—he’s still new to the kpop world with so many to experience! what’s important is he learns. he should just be aware of where environment he’s in and reflect. anyway—this year is about learning to create new rooms for his name, career, stability, and with his ambition, he could! there’s not much of an opportunities leaping on his table, and i dont think sunoo’s honestly sad about it. his focus for this year is about his growth and how to build and strengthen his walk, or like potential as an idol. (very dedicated.) because as far as i know, he will have the bag and his expansion (which creates long run opportunities in the long run) either way. and he knows he will not receive opportunities for himself if he doesn’t understand the first step first. he’s very self aware of this.

2024

cards: strength - two of wands - nine of pentacles - five of wands - page of pentacles in reverse - the sun

unlike for the year 2023, sunoo’s career for this upcoming 2024 has two major arcanas which are considered to be positive. for early 2024 he could still be dealing with building and strengthening his image but the difference is he will take big leaps instead of what he did in his earlier years. bigger risks. bigger outcomes. he seems to build confidence along the way and these choices he will make this upcoming 2024 are an example. im not sure which eras in 2024 though. (but from my vision its either in the middle of the year or late 2024) he will bag certain deals and will reak really of independency. im hearing of solo deals so he’ll either reach a point where deals are not by group anymore but solely by himself. (with the visualization of the cards the deals could be related with fashion and something that involves the crowd!) anyhow, the difficulties he had to face in the earlier years are now in its ending point. 2024 might be the start of sunoo’s. hard work will be paid off! he just needs to be careful of certain arguments that will occur around this year. the company could be restraining him. and of course since this is also as well a fresh start for him he could meet few competitors in his environment (kpop) and a disclaimer, this is not limited with his own group! kpop will continue to expand and this equivalents of many competitors too which might overwhelm sunoo. though this wont really overshadow nor halt his upcoming achievements as from my point of view compared to the other two cards these are “minor arcanas”. so it’s likely to be just an another phase he will face. at the end of the day this is a great year for sunoo and his career. the strength and the sun card is really a great indication! he will receive not only abundance but also well meet sucess. especially the sun! its a great sign.

[ reading was done in august 18, 2023. ]

[theveryrustytoaster]

wont beat around the bush about this no more, but im going by she/they now. Oxidada or just Oxi is what i prefer to go by but im still comfortable with Rusty and Rusy.

Id post this on twitter but there's a lot more people actively following that account so im not comfortable sharing that there, not yet at least. It really isnt that big a deal, its just the fact that my Twitter is closely tied to my youtube, which some members of my family and irl friends are aware of. Im not really ready for them to see me in this light.

Tldr, im transgendert.

[kusundei]

oh god forbid. see i was sorta prepping for it earlier bcuz??? wdym. im going to see my nutritionist. follow up or not i remember what they said and wdym its IN PERSON. like jesus christ but nooo. i. expected it i think. when they asked me how much i weighed before i was just like heh idk. i think that mightve fucked me over bcuz i think they think i lost??? like 25-30lbs in??? a few months???? which isnt . horrible but not ideal. its just taking into context the time i spent staying a consistent 160ish after recovery or whatevet and then suddenly dropping down to what. ???? im assuming ???? im??? 140??? or high 130s???? its the way they didnt let me look at the scale but informed me ive lost. like im aware sorta.

just glad they didnt tell my mom. made it a whole thing explaining my recovery and therapy and how i am not DISORDERED. but its inclined them to question my testosterone again bcuz its “not normal” like yeah i know. and then again i also just like look the same like sorry??? thats not me being evil and disordered i swear on my life i havent changed. the only reason i know is because of the scale and also . okay maybe my pants. everything fits me better now. clothes r bigger i suppose but i still??? am the same??? like idk .

no im not. evil. they asked me the same question again if i was . relapsing. or even just thinking ab my weight again and tbh not really??? thats the thing. im not??? like no ive accepted ive always just been on the bigger side. im well aware its not something i try to change anymore jusr cuz im aware even if i lose i wont be happy w myself regardless.. which is evil but at least im self aware. its judt like idk. iiii dont know. i truly am judy not hungry most of the time but i know my body is lashing me for it slightly. getting the same kind of pains i get when i dont eat but i cant eat??

like . idk. im not rlly considering the fact im restricting on purpose but maybe if i truly think ab it maybe i am..??? idk. just the same thing over and over. oh i wont eat yet its too early. im not hungry enough ill eat later. i cant eat this in front of these people??? oh you want my food judt take it??? like idk. same thing . i definitely eat like i wont not let myself not eat for a day thats too evil for me. i guess if anything i am sorta acknowledging my. bad. relationship. w food. idk its weird though cuz . im?? evil????

idk it just reminds me like. im fine eating in front of sav. i suppose thats a time thing but its also just chz shes the one person who will lash me sincerely if i dont eat. then theres ayden and idgaf. aleena. ethan. etc. I dont rlly care and i think that stems mostly from.??? the fact??? they???? eat??? more??? than i do???? which is fucking HORRIBLE TO ADMIT its just like. idk. maybe rhats what it is. reminds me of kyle. my anorexic king like i get it. stop spitting pro-ed shit at me . idc youre restricting idc you think youre fat like buddy. r you patronizing me.

im joking. its just like??? idk. i guess im just keeping it on the dl. family definitely notices though??? oh how uncomfortable i am eating in front of family wtf. reminds me of matthews birthday i was getting lashed. here and there over and over just. r you gonna eat??? why arent you eating yet??? like i know. and no i was sorta hungry its just i knew i cpuldnt rlly stomach anything and jrs weird. like holy fuck was i tweaking i kept. talking to myself. assuring myself it was okay and nobody was judging me and they WANT ME TO EAT and its no big deal loke what the fuck. idk. it was so weird i sat down and tried eating that burger and jesus. i wanted to throw up??? but i knew i needed to eat?? i was hungry but i couldnt stomach it??? also nervous because i was being perceived like jesus christ.

i think. as much as im like rotating bsck and forth i might. be. a bit evil. restricting wise. idk its just my body keeps doing it to me and its. ??? im also fighting that. acknowledgement that i am being. competitive again. see i never got that competitive feeling all too much except w jd cause it was.??? idk??? she was enabling me??? this time around genuinely no one is im just doing it to myself. ESPECIALLY W AJAX LIKE JESUS. what thre fuck am i doing. whyyy do i care its not like hes going to lash me??? he asks me if ive eaten??? reminds me to eat??? asks me to??? like he is NOT lashing me. ??? but why am i??? being??? so evil??? about it???

it comes and goes though. its just horrible to admit that guilty feeling i get all the time when i eat and its likr god fucking forbid. i thought i was over this. ill be honest i mean like?? i could probably get over it. i just need to. again. separate the two. its a constant battle of reminding myself ajax is not jd (obviously) and hes not going to lash me over these things. that he doesnt want me to be evil and bad and worse because he cares and hes not secretly judging me and plotting against me??? that hes not lying to me and everything is okay??? like idk thats just evil sam. i just need to chill out i think. i just hate how it comes and goes like sometimes i eat like a normal human being and then sometimes i eat like nothing at all. like today. im not hungry. mom is lashing me ab eating right now buuut. oh god forbid will she ask me about the appt if i sit w her.

rambling alot idk im just. im aware. i know. i sont need a nutritionist or a psychiatrist to tell me what im already aware of. im not disordered anymore but im not denying the fact i might be a bit evil again. just trying not to enable myself??? like everythint isss okay. just glad they agreed not to tell my mom. like she doesnt need to know this. but ill have to talk ab this w ellis the next time i see them^_^;;;. oh but everything is okay… im fineee im normal im healthy im okay. IMMM OKAY. i loveee my boyfriend oh god i miss him so bad. praying he comes to school and hes okay . siiighhh……. i need school to end but i also need it to keep going. just. ugh. i sont wanna go to school tmr but i also want to. so idk. GOD FUCKING FORBID i cant but irs okay im full of love 💗

[visionthefox]

What are your thoughts on some of the theories going around about the new arc? That Moon has psychosis, that his family disowned him, that nobody ever loved Moon really, or that he is somehow corrupted or being mind-controlled, or how Dark Sun may be getting involved and using this as a distraction, or if Frank or the Astrals have something to do with this, etc.?

ohh well , gonna be honest ? didnt see any of those theories just yet but I can imagine what they mean to be

Moon being disowned and no one loved him do have a base- that is the "you used to be" type of mentality Sun and Lunar had over him- but they lost him once- dont think Sun wants to yet lose him again- even if he's a lying fuck all over again- Sun had to deal with the worst before- lying is just part of this family dynamic so meh not thinking is happeing rn

Psychosis? and mind control? wild but thats the show rule - be wild and be unrealistic, dont follow logic , but that feels like something too big for them to pull out in the right way- Ruin has both BM and Eclipse to mind control (I know is never said but come on now, Eclipse literally recorded when he woke up in the maze- doing the puzzles- plus all of his memory issues!)

Dark Sun also mess up with Eclipse ass- I mean mind- so how did Moon get mind control? what for? I dont see it - just like the idea Dark Sun made Eclipse- not enough evidence to pull that out

Now- Corruption? is one I did mentioned- after he awoken the Old Moon on him- he stared to act odd- what ever is the old code messing with the new one, or the terrible talk they had being the last drop in the glass water of insecurity , that what feels is making him being this unestable- is literally a system error showing slowly and yet no one can see it

I feel that and guilt is the reason he may be losing his mind- OldMoon was a paranoid- (reason why Eclipse was also paranoid of Lunar) - always thinking of ways to attack not make peace- always in the defense - now have someone mean to fill those shoes- the ghost of the past now literally aware of your fails .. that preassure will break him..

and getting him locked up wont help- Sun only does what OldMoon teach him to do- you show to be too unestable to talk? locked up- good thing the cell doesnt have a mirror eh.. that and the fact he and Earth never had to deal with someone like this- Sun has his own demons and he never had to face a sad Moon - always angry, thats familiar- sad? Too New..

so for me NewMoon is just having an system error + gult over take him + paranoid ideas by old Moon codes - all that is messing him up

I dont think Frank nor the astrals have anything to do here- those are character for others arcs not mean to be important in SAMS

but het thats me- what you guys think? im wrong? What other theory is out there? also what the hell is up rn with Ruin and BM?

[onmonotonyandotherailments]

How do you deal with the voice in your head? (justified guilt and the like)

This is a question to the dear reader, and for personal research only, also happy pride to those who celebrate it

I don't really know what to do about life anymore, And it sounds so lame to start my first ever post like this, but i've seen all the "It girls" having a diary of some sorts to keep up with their thoughts and to reflect ont hteir daily life. I am not some It girl myself, If there's some list of requirements one must follow, i don't think i quite qualify, and using an aesthetic as a role to follow is probably not the best course of actin when you realize you are struggling.

That's also a big step for me, what's "struggling"? I've used it pretty liberally throughout my life but i don't know what it really encompasses, can i even call it a struggle? When bits just the consequence of my own actions? All struggles are consequences after all, but if the only way to find a faulty party is to look at my reflection i would rather not do it at all.

That's also something i've found about me recently, i don't like blaming people, or i say i do, because i hope they wont point fingers later, when they find out the fault was mine all along.

I keep on going on tangents latey, Back to the point, my life. Ironic sentence i think, Life being the point of discussion when i find life pointless. Not in a suicidal way, but in an avoidment of responsibilities and consequences kinda way. And its not like i havent thought about it, but when youre still living with your parents and your sibling, killing yourself is so much of a hassle for others, more than a big step for myself. So like so many of my attitudes i chose to put it on the list to do in about twenty to ten years or when im living alone.

Its a hopeful list honestly, aside from the /killing myself maybe/. Because as far as im made aware most of these feelings may just leave when i find my own freedom to actually do what i want.

The bad part is, and this is why i needed to do this blog too i think, that i could do most of these things if i just grab hold of the reign of my life and just "Got IT together" as many self motivation posts have pointed out already. The IT its aludding to may be related to these It girls ive written about previously.

Just joking of course, i just need to start studying more, and actually studying and get some part time job, something online even. Its not even that my degree is uninteresting to me, but when its your third time taking a class (and take the third as liberal as you can) and you still have no idea where anything is coming from, you kind of exhaust all other "faults". Its not my teachers as ive had many, its not my current environment, ive done both virtual and on campus classes, the basis ive had were enough for my peers who have already advanced into their actual careers so its me, its my fault.

And fault is so slimy and easy to ignore when its yours, and thats whats sweet about escapism, is that its soo easy and sweet, it fills the brain with that quick and easy dopamine. Love it! But working on your goals and marks on your life? ughhhhhhhhh such a lame-o way on life. Soooo

ive started this blog, mostly to hold myself "accountable" (blegh) and to aestheticize and romanticize life. But im sooo a total shut in, so i have to, in return, start to take care of myself for that outward appeal that they loove to share online. The basis of aesthetics, if you will.

Hopefully this and the deleting all other social media kinda works on favor of this. Hope i didnt come off as a total snob and more like a girl failure. we set the low very low so our highs(returning my overdue books to the library) look like actual progress.

Adding a pretty picture from when we visited our family on the province just to prove im not a Total shut in.

Lots of love, Celine