#im at home today because i'm lowkey sick

[wolfwithpaws]

SPOILERS FOR HAZBIN HOTEL FINALE

We ate so hard in the finale

[jungwnies]

hello mae! I’m sorry I was a lil mia for a second 🥴

these past few weeks have been nice, a few little bumps every now and then but overall good although i will admit the past few days I’ve been feeling a little sick and ngl it got me and my parents worried so I’m gonna get some blood tests taken during the weekend just to check that everything’s alright and verify that i just probably need some vitamins 🤞🏻🤞🏻

i also went on a walk with my sister the other day and omg i sooo needed that, it even rained a little bit and it was nice, she showed me this street where there’s a whole ass tree in the middle of it like right in the middle (say what now), she found it a couple of months ago on one of her morning walks and has told me about it but i only saw it a couple of days ago and we took some pictures posing in front of it cause this thing was also mASSIVE, not the biggest tree I’ve seen but one of definitely :0

i started korean classes again after two months ish and it’s actually very nice, it helps me keep practicing and studying even if im feeling lazy cause like that was the thing, i could totally study on my own but i just couldn’t (like some people nEED to get a gym membership otherwise they don’t workout, well i need my teacher assigning homework otherwise i won’t do it) ㅠㅠ

i also started journaling a little bit again and it helps a lot so im happy about that ^^

and lastly I’ve been listening to a lot of lana del rey (specifically her nfr album I LOVE ITT 😩😩) and donna missal (her new album “revel” 🤎🤌🏻)

now questions for youuu~

how have you been? how’s life treating you? (honest answers only but feel free to go as deep as you want hehe)

what’s your favorite meal these days? have you drank water today? (if no go now! 😤)

what’s your latest obsession? (any kind of) and lastly, which side of the bed do you sleep on? (very random but im writing this before going to sleep and now im curious, i used to sleep on th right side but now i just stick to the middle and end up on the left lol)

remember to take care of yourself, stretch, drink your liquids, eat your favorite meals/snacks, watch some shows/films, cry if u want to and get some sunlight on you if you can 🫶🏻🫶🏻

i love you maeby baby, have a nice day (and week) im rooting for you!! hehe💓💓

-🧸 anon

i also saw your message about your blood tests coming out okay, which i am so happy about! i wish you nothing but happiness and health omgomgomg.

oh my god, i saw ur message about the swift tickets and im sooo happy for you. i haven't been super active on tumblr, not sure why, just need a break from writing i am BURNT OUT!!! walks are always so refreshing, but in my state its sooo humid i hate walking i feel like bugs stick to my body every time i step outside, but i did go to the beach yesterday (who would've thought...) i am also a gym person who only goes if i have a membership, which is why i haven't gone because i haven't renewed... i AM SO LAZY LMFAO i also loveeee lana del rey, her music is sooo chef's kiss... literally

now to answer your questions :)

how have you been? how’s life treating you? life has notttt been bad recently, a few things here and there piss me off, but that's life??? not ready to start the semester again in september, i am literally dreading it LMFAO!?!?!? but it's okay, i'll stick it through and be successful (hopefully????) i'm going to another state in a few days for vacation so i'm super excited for that, need to get away from home!!!

what’s your favorite meal these days? have you drank water today? my favorite meal definitely has been rice and some sort of meat recently... or pasta!!! i really love carbs tbh, it's awful!?!?!? and yes i've drank some water, but i definitely need more. i appreciate the reminder <3

what’s your latest obsession? jungkook is my latest obsession... jk but also not jk?!?! his song with latto is so good, i was so worried it was going to sound off but i lowkey enjoyed it a lot? but to actually answer ur question i've been obsessed with valorant... i know yikes?!?!? but it's so fun... the last time i played was in like 2021 and i finally got back on and realized how much fun i have playing this game LOL

which side of the bed do you sleep on? i sleep on the left side... it's also the side closest to my door. i don't know why i can't sleep on the right side to be honest... usually i sleep farthest from the door, but i feel most comfortable on the side closest to my door.. but it is also the side closet to the wall LMFAO

remember to take care of yourself, stretch, drink your liquids, eat your favorite meals as well, and catch up on your fave shows and rewatch ur fave movies!! <3333

[1d1195]

ohhh myyy godddd that’s so crazy to me. i’ve been going to weddings since i was a CHILD. i think it’s a culture thing tho bc where im from ppl are always getting married andddd you’re supposed to invite LOTS of people, there’s no such thing as a small wedding😭

but i get being tapped out !! when it’s been too many back to back i get tired and stressed abt it. also funny but i think ive only been to like one funeral ??? maybeee two idk

birthday was fun !! vry simple i stayed home all day im not much of a birthday person, or at least just not my birthday bc i love celebrating my friends. the skincare routine is ???? it’s only been a few days so im not sure yet but ill keep you updated

i was going through dresses with my mom today for the weddings that was fun, always love putting together an outfit. i got a new phone case with one of those cute charms that hang from the bottom and it feels like a whole new phone🤭

I SAW ONE OF YOUR ANONS MENTION SHATTER ME ???? SO FUNNY CAUSE IM READING IT RN (i’m on book 5, anon TRUST when i say things change) im also not a huge dystopian fan at ALL bc it’s just getting too real !!! but i picked this up because my friends were BEGGING me saying i had to read it and I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS DYSTOPIAN 😭😭😭 I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS FANTASY ???? but nope !! its taking me forever to get through them but im pushing thru💪

on the topic of books, have you ever read a court of thorns and roses ??? i spent so long avoiding it for some reason but i finally caved and O!M!G!!!!! i LOVED it. idk if u have or haven’t but i will say i think you’d LOVE rhys😉

wishing you every single good thing in the world cause you deserve it !!!!! tell me how you’ve been <3333

~🎶

The weddings I've gone too haven't been that big either. I think the max was 150 people (but could have been closer to 120). Most of them have really been ~100. It's just so expensive and that's why I'm sick of it. It's a lot to spend on a bridal shower gift, a wedding gift, AND I've been on two destination bachelorette parties so it's just literally been draining my bank account.

I love that you had a lowkey/relaxing birthday! It sounds so nice! I am actually a huge bday fan. It's the only time I want to be the center of attention (or willing to be). What's your favorite kind of outfit? Or your style in general?

Isn't it cute how a little detail can change your whole attitude about something? I got a new screen protector and I'm like "I love this phone again" and last week I was ready to go trade it in HAHHAHA

🎀-anon will hopefully see this! I'm not sure I'll ever read it tbh. Like I said, dystopian really freaks me out now. I was firmly in middle school when The Hunger Games came out and Divergent was all throughout high school. On top of that my friend was recommending a whole bunch of zombie apocalypse books at the time too I was just really stressed while reading which is not what I wanted. It's still not either hahahahaha I don't mind a little conflict obviously but reading about governments and people being horrible to each other for the sake of being horrible (essentially)... I'm all set. I would first watch the news 😂😂

I have not taken the leap to read A Court of Thorns and Roses 😭 I think it's inevitable but I have A LOT of reading to do to get through my bookshelf. I've been making slower progress which isn't very helpful either 🙃 The fantasy side of novels never really piqued my interest either but I've seen lots of good things of course about the series! I'm sure I'll read it eventually, but I don't think I will be doing so just yet. When I do, I will keep an eye on Rhys hehehehe

I've been good. I swear the weekends are getting shorter every week. I'm lowkey dreading May and June but hopefully it will go by as quick as possible 🙃 I'm thinking about taking magnesium supplement because my doctor recommended it as a way to help me get out of my funky moods, boost energy, etc. etc. It's also just supposed to be really beneficial overall. Idk, I'll try anything to fix me hahahahaha I'm reading my book and writing part 4 of Ding...I'm not sure if it'll be done in time for tomorrow. I'm hopeful, but nervous it might be a Thursday update this week. Thanks for asking! Hope you have a great rest of your weekend and stellar start to the week!

xoxo

[temporarymoods]

aggressive hey

i always promise so much.

rarely do i fail to deliver.

except when it comes to writing.

i'm not even sure what i want to write about now, but i guess a couple things right off first:

haven't posted to the blog in a while

have thought about it a lot ever since (throughout november, december and winter break, the first two months of the spring semester, + a week)

just can't sit down and do it sometimes

but I've got a lot of ideas. lack of blog posts absolutely not correlating with lack of things to say...

i utilize my notes app extensively, there's some ideas there, but i don't want to go in at random, that would feel wrong and i couldn't maintain this meter of writing that i'm already doing, so.... Dune.

just learned about what's going on with Dune, in the Dune world, and so on. first attempt at watching the movie a couple years ago left me feeling silly but, i'm better now. i want to read the book over the summer, in a hammock. there are a lot of things i want to do this summer. those are all over my notes app, too, and on my wall. i don't think "dating" makes the list, though girls remain pretty.

SUMMER * dinner parties, on the porch, heavily curated * farmers markets, fresh produce w/ baked goods * indirect sunshine * direct sunshine * shrooms * sand * biking * the movies w/ a sweatshirt around my waist * a bong, graduation present to self * better clothes * movies, at home tho, lots * ice cream * camping and lake swimming * working * walking through the park * the hardware store (for what?) * feeling like i did it * sports games (spectator)

that's just naming a few. hopefully a lot of them can come true. i want to let my body feel good, it knows what to do, you know?

speaking of: dry sex life. mostly. but that's just on me, my doing, so i cannot really complain, but just state. for future record. that im still in my contented-single era, haven't quite hit the wall that keeps you bothered about it yet. cool cool. guess some time w a stranger couldn't be that bad, if i made it fun for me. what a weird concept. i love my friends, that is already so much. saw a corny tweet about that today. didn't like it because it would show up on friends' feeds and that's just,, ugh. true though

february was kind of ungovernable (what else can i say besides 'crazy' or 'wild'???) in a bitches testing me way (lmao) but no in a... here, see for yourself: [from my notes]

<<Feb 1st, downhill instantly>>

Feb 4th>>

Priorities 

Comfort and Wellbeing

Feb 6th>>

Sick email

Hi Prof,

This is Kate from your ( ) class. 

Just writing to let you know that over the past couple days I’ve been experiencing symptoms of a medical emergency. 

Feb 19th>>

i feel like peopke have been pretty critical with my recently and i dont like that 

>>

lowkey infuriated

>>

el tuesday [these are things I write down that I wanted to talk to el about on tuesday]

having to defend myself a lot recently

maybe i should cut my acts (self centered, crazy/stupid) (dramatic, unserious) [REDACTED]

would normally want to talk to a therapist about my natural desires to do things that feel important to me but are deemed odd/wrong by others ex. [REDACTED] but also wouldn’t normally pick such a birds eye topic because we get engrossed in the little things. but still: is there something fucking wrong w me? is it bpd? am i 2 hippie 2 quit?

doing things for the plot, to experience things (different)

my whole idea of human relationships in general 

Feb 21st>>

blog

was very overwhelmed this morning— hadnt felt that anxious in a loooooonggg time!!— but lunch w gray and lab partner (liz?) was so beautiful & im like, again, omg i love life + my friends ☀️☀️🌞🌞

Feb 23rd>>

Mom - therapy hospital $$

Feb 29th>>'

“By anarchist spirit I mean that deeply human sentiment, which aims at the good of all, freedom and justice for all, solidarity and love among the people; which is not an exclusive characteristic only of self-declared anarchists, but inspires all people who have a generous heart and an open mind.” Errico Malatesta, Umanita Nova, April 13, 1922

* * *

so that's that... i think hopefully that says a lot, captures a feeling. i knew it was a month to remember like halfway through, you know? and it ending with a 1 year breakup anniversary... classic. reflective. so glad it's march though, damn! haters were taking up too much space. i say that jokingly obviously but also if you dare to read through the lines you might observe that i am in fact quite upset about the attacks leveraged at me over the course of a couple nights in a short span of time that were all off base and random and yet still hurtful anyway it was a weird pattern there's no denying! it doesnt help the identity crisis, which is in FULL SWING !

who am i?

idfk man. let's consult the March notes app, shall we?

March 1st, 3am>>

dont like cleaning bc dont like confronting the waste i make

March 1st, 2pm>>

in love a little bit with a handful of my friends but for various reasons dating them is not in the question & will never be! how relieving to know that

March 6th>>

Candlelit charcuterie night 

* * *

feel like these don't shine as bright but they're certainly better. im supposed to get my period today and i had no idea. but wait let me clarify that you should not take that second note to mean that i have feelings for my friends i do not, just read it another way idk

music been good recently.

rn its 2018 peach pit (Drop the Guillotine) but that's definitely not representative. Lime Garden's album One More Thing is though. and Grimes still, if im not doing that persona enough. and Car Seat Headrest, but in an on wait - always way. like a fucking brother. rest of the good shit is just in my Liked Songs kind of at whim. special selection: Chosen to Deserve by Wednesday. Next up should be RINA bc alr found 2 songs on there I really enjoy. but even now im off hyperpop for a week, lmao. what happens when you go camping.

towel party next week aunt in the hospital mom visiting in like 1 second more job interviews tomorrow research to do havent unpacked yet its spring break i just keep getting high and getting through it i really do love my friends

there's probably so much about this life that i'm going to miss. and i look forward to the time where i actually have the space to consider that. more choice

a poem to close us out, and maybe i'll upload some pictures tomorrow. (haha, odds?) thanks for reading. just off the radio show juice, Fri Mar 8 3:20am. common time for me recently. stealing back my peace in the wee hours oft'

i heard symphonies who wouldn't let me sleep the everysound of rain on wood my ear on wood the same

i taste dairy soft despite my body taking my time i do not think

scratching at my head i can do this this i can do which lets me cave in

i laugh a lot it makes me cry a lot of tears a lot of love

i love sooooooo ( ) all to say ( )

<3, Kate

[honeyed-disgraceful]

I've been dissociating really hard and my physical health keeps deteriorating amd I can only think about bad things that happened to me and today I was so sick and out of it at work that my boss sent me home and I feel like a failure but mostly numb.

The worst part is that for the past week I've been feeling like something negative like idk an energy is attached/following me a few steps behind and I'm lowkey inclined to think this is psychosis again and holy shit I cannot afford to go through this again I hate it.

I don't know what to do I feel like im floating in a limbo but I can't move because my body is so weak and my brain is worse. I don't know what to do

And the only moments I feel clear headed are moments like these where I'm panicking then I go back into that brain sludge for days and no one knows because every time I tell anyone they brush me off or they don't know what to do and im scared yo go back to therapy

[storybookprincess]

Heya!!! I've been following your blog for a while and you're just such a positive presence and I wanted you to know that!!! You're really cool!!! anyway I have like 500 questions but i'll limit it to 3 - 1. have you ever played splatoon?? because im starved for content tbh. 2. what is a fic you've always wanted to write but never got around to it and 3. do you have any headcanons you always wanted to share but never got to? Thanks for reading my dorky message I hope you're doing well!!! <3

hello my friend!!! thank you for this lovely ask & your patience as i got to it ^_^ it makes me so happy to hear that i can have a positive little corner of the internet here!!!! okay, onto the questions!!!

1. i have not played splatoon, but it does seem really fun & the fandom seems super creative!! sadly i cannot provide content tho :(

2. i've had this idea for well over a year for a post-canon banana fish fic where ash comes with eiji to japan & it's told entirely through the outsider pov of his mom as she slowly comes to trust & understand ash despite her initial misgivings. the stars have just never quite aligned for me to write it, nor am i sure it actually has the makings of a good fic rather than just the makings of a good daydream, but maybe one day!!!!

3. oooooh a great question!!! tbh i feel like some people are headcanon machines & have them in endless supply, but i don't know if i have bottomless headcanon reserves like that. i do have my hcs about gon falling in love in the trick tower penalty room & killua falling in love at the end of the testing gate arc & i feel quite strongly about those!!!! also my hc for a very lowkey killugon wedding proposal that's shown up in a fic or two (they're just hanging out one day playing games or watching tv & someone goes "hey, wanna get married?" and the other goes "yeah, sounds awesome" & they get rings the next day). i'm trying to think of others rn & struggling, but they might come to me later!!!!

thank you again for this lovely (and not at all dorky!!) ask--i'm home sick today, so it was a great little distraction!!! i hope you're well too!!

[justisaisfine]

So I’ve been infodumping on @today-only-happens-once and huuuh here y’all go, some Sanders bros angst started by this pic:

Coughromancough

Logan and Virgil take more from their mom

(the trial was a pretty public spectacle, yeah? Or not so much?

Cuz like, if it was, I could imagine someone pointing out the family resemblances online and one or more of the boys finding it and. oof.)

Very public

I talk a lot about the mom but like

Roman’s dad was Bad esp with roman

Like;;; he was bad in a very psychological way like threatening him and then doing things but then turning around like “well would you rather I do it to the others?”

“Keep your mouth shut” type of deals

SO LIKE AT THE TRIAL

TO HAVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN AND TO BRING ALL THISE BAD SHITS TO LIGHT-

Mostly the bros didn’t know shit about this right

And Virgil was too young to remember late nights when their dad would come in his and Roman’s room right

And their dad knows Virgil is right there too and he uses that against Roman so so much

(Of freaking course he does. the boys find out when Roman testifies I assume?? Or nah?)

He never talked about it before that

To the point of repressed memories

But with the trial and seeing him again and it’s like Flooding back in

Oh man it makes the other bros sick and Mad and like So guilty in a way because dad always used them as an excuse to get to Roman right

And it’s like finding out someone you didn’t like in your family is Actually Deranged

And it’s that weird sort of dirty feeling of being associated with him

And Kind of being the reason those stuff happened(in their heads at least- because brains are hard sometimes)

(like. maybe this is odd but conversations later that night after Roman's testimony between Thomas and Logan. Maybe where Logan like, wants to check up on him? Because he knows that was rough? But he tells himself he doesn't know Roman's emotional state (and that's part of it) but its also a bit of that feeling of guilt and like, "maybe Roman blames me and even though I know it's irrational to think that I can't shake the feeling of guilt" so he texts Thomas with a "how is he?"(

(And maybe eventually Thomas would ask Logan "did you know?" (because Thomas certainly didn't, right? and he wants to look out for Roman's bros as well as Roman and hearing that for the first time was hard for him so he can't imagine what it might've been like to hear it for the first time and be his brother))

Logan is so split in his feelings about this because on one hand yes guilt and urgh but on the other Hand They Had. A Deal Roman!! We talk about stuff!!! We’re there for each other roman!!!!

Ohhho h man and like Logan knows he shouldn’t but he feels kind of sad and betrayed at being left in the dark about this issue because they’re the big brothers, they have each other’s backs they tell each other everything! Ahhhh

(did any of the bros ask the other non-Roman bros if they knew? Like, did Patton ask logan "did you know about this??" And Logan's just lost and angry is like "no. I didn't.")

And they’re all low key mad too because Roman was always like shouldering all those responsibilities because they “had it worst than him” (even if they’d still argue that he got fucked in the head anyways lbr)

But now they find this out and it’s like !!!? “You Needed protection Too Roman holy fuck”

They’re (well Patton and Logan- Virgil wouldn’t have heard about it since he’s away and only gets snippets of the trial from Patton) immediately on him the moment they come back home the day of

And Patton’s downright sobbing by then and has been holding back in the car ride back but man

It’s finding out the person you always thought to be so strong and you look up to- to see him break down like that scared him

ESP for Patton, gosh he’s been so so bad in his head during the trial and now this on top of it all he is not okay my dude

But he asks Roman if they can stay together for the night and they both don’t know if they’re holding the other to comfort or be comforted but ahhh

(do thomas and roman ever talk about that particular aspect of it all?)

Yeah, tho it’s not a nice talk either

Roman’s still halfnin denial

And half just wanting the whole thing to be over already so sue him for lashing out

He feels too exposed and vulnerable and raw, he’s exhausted and spread too thin the poor boy

So maybe concerned worried questions feel like probing and maybe he just wants to go back to forgetting but man

(so he lashes out against Thomas? does Thomas kinda snap back/him out of the denial? Or does he just kinda take it?)

It’s a tight spot for Thomas cause like

Sure he said he’ll be there for them but what if he’s overstepping? And he can see Roman’s at his limits and probably really just needs support right now not more questioning and digging

CAUSE THomas can tell man those are some deep down repressed feelings and trauma it’s not good to not talk about it

So yeah he takes it- it doesn’t last long anyways, Roman’s no the rough type, and then it’s mostly Roman begging to not talk about it for a bit

Roman really fucking needs a break

Everyone is under a lot of stress and it’s messy

(lkdsjfksdlj I just. Lowkey wondering about like, Roman saying something like "Dammit, Thomas, will you stop with the cross examination?" and Thomas trying to be like "I'm trying to help, Roman" and Roman being like "well you're not! I don't need you to question me or badger me or--"

Cue thomas interrupting with "then what DO you need from me?" because he doesn't know what to do, really and like.

Maybe Roman kinda whirls around to face him and (maybe he's teary a lil???) and is like. "I just. need you to hold me" OR MAYBE THAT'S WILDLY INACCURATE I just love roman/thomas in your au okay im weak for it)

YEAH

So he tries and he’s seen them do this for so long they Talk a lot about stuff so he tries and most days it’s okay it works but man this new thing that’s just too much for Roman right now

And like that’s that right there right? Roman not only allowing himself to be vulnerable but to actively seek out Thomas to be there for him

And it’s not like with patton cause even there he was also trying to comfort pat and hold him

But with Thomas he’s just,,