#im also thinking of writing the cliff scene. because i can be so sad and devastating with it. you dont KNOW

[jambo-rat]

I need to subject you all to my analysis on Odysseus and specifically the line " I see a man who makes it home alive, but it's no longer you " in " No longer you "

Cutting for Wisdom Saga spoilers, and also it's fairly sad. With the accompaniment of my theory on what the last bit says in ' No longer you '

OKAY SO

Odysseus has changed in many ways from " No Longer You ". He finally decided he would become a monster to make it home to his wife and son. He made the choices he could to make sure as many people could make it home (like sacrificing 6 men to Scylla so the rest could survive.) he's tired and worn, both physically and mentally. But he can't rest until he makes it home. Everytime he let himself rest something has gone wrong. So when the God of Thunder tells him to either kill himself or kill his crew. Be changes. Not only was he betrayed AGAIN from Eurylochus in the entirety of Mutiny, but now he has to make the choice to kill his brother. It changes a man.

If the lyrics really ARE " Island Love ". We hear how worn Odysseus is in " Love in Paradise ". He still hasn't let himself rest, because this Goddess is tormenting him. Not only that, but he is haunted. He is haunted by his crew, his friends, his brothers. Even his mother. Before he couldn't close his eyes because he would see them. But now all he wants to do is close his eyes. He's all but given up. He's accepted he can't see Penelope. This Island is his end.

I don't know about you but ever since those really intense suicidal thoughts I have changed. Now I was given a second chance I fight harder. He hasn't gotten his second chance yet, but he's about to, with the Goddess of Wisdom "risking her life" for him.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

2, 14, 23, 25? <3

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

oh honestly im mostly looking forward to being done with writing rn hfjhjg ive been doing nothing but thasmissy for 2 months straight at this point and i need to finish like 2 more scenes. so i suppose the technobabble im doing in one of those scenes bc it's really fun to find words to put in it. even though it takes forever. and then i wanna take a little break. ive still got a series of like weird sex fics somewhere on the backburner i might go do that (it's like, 13/tardis, yaz getting off to gallifreyan anatomy textbooks, yaz with the hologram in 13x5, and another one i cant remember rn, oh yeah something with the robot master and shalka doctor, but i cant write them so idk. i think it would be fun to write robot sex though)

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

either when i hit post and ao3 tells me i forgot the title (bad titles). or else it just ✨Comes To Me✨ at some point during writing (better titles). not the question but these are my favourite titles: kerblam it!, wondering about the perspective of the person who confuses interbellum with no man’s land, auto-tromperie à deux, or: the double-slit experiment, and the thasmissy one which will be called playing doctor <3

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

s12 fic where yaz gets basically seduced by the master because the master is willing to give her answers the doctor wont. she finds the doctor's phone and they start texting. they both find something in each other that the doctor is unable to give them. the doctor when she finds out is So Mad. shes like hes dangerous!!!!1! but theres this possessive undertone you know? ive had scenes of that on my computer since like summer 2020. it's never gonna get finished but thats okay because i think most of what i thought was interesting about that fic i incorporated into thasmissy in some way. also i think it ended by yaz getting killed by a cyberman and the doctor beating the master to death for it so fkjghjkghgfjh too sad to finish tbh. it wasnt even the master's fault it was both their faults she was angry at herself so she killed him. and then sat with him until he regenerated. while yaz i think, stood there as a cyberman. anyway! fucked up! not my style

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

when im writing some weird gross visceral time stuff and looking in thesauruses and going on etymology dives and finding fun connections between words that i can use to make more subtext. and making up new ways to use words and sentences so i can make them hold more connections. increase the meaning/word ratio you know? thats the most fun

okay bonus found that fic. i had 2000 words. heres how it starts:

It starts with dying.

An endless dark. Without direction or sound or exit. Where air isn’t air and she doesn’t know how she’s still breathing. Where she can’t be alive because she can’t feel her heart beating.

“Okay, PC Khan. Nothing to worry about.”

It starts with dying.

It doesn’t end with it.

The Doctor pulls her out.

Its warm in australia. The heat crowds around her when she steps out of the glass cage, lapping at her hands, her face, curious, tentative, playful.

A Soft grip on her arms guides her to a chair, to reality, to being alive.

Someone presses a cup of tea into her hands. Large brown concerned eyes ask her if she's hurt.

She later learns his name is o. She later learns it isnt.

and this is how it ends:

His eyes switch to her as soon as he realises what this result of their actions is. Eyes big and hungry, apprehensive on the edges, mouth twitching but never reching a grin. Both stock still her eyes are still on the cyberman. One breath. Two breaths.

His eyes widen slightly when her attention shifts to him. Eyes dark and pushed too far like the chasm beyond the cliff. When she steps forward theres no delay in his step back.

Silence as the only witness of the last two children of gallifrey. The physical sounds of a body breaking and abody being broken.

Sound of breath and fists and one scream when she breaks his arm.

When she stumbles off of him, sitting where she lands, stopping moving further rather than sitting, silence still her only witness, he hasnt moved in a while, hasnt made a sound in a while. She watches until he starts glowing. Then she gets up and and without looking back walks away.

She finds the cyberman who was yasmin khan and says with a voice that is the oppoiste of what her hands just did, tender and regretful and soft, "yaz" because they were friends. And because no other words she will ever string together will be enough to make okay what she did to her. But the words press to her lips anyway. sorry doesnt change what she did. Sorry would be an insult.

"Your family will know"

Im sorry

"You wont be forgotten"

Im sorry

"You deserved better than you got"

Than i did to you. Im sorry

"Thank you yaz."

Im sorry

"Goodbye"

Im sorry

"And im sorry"

She zaps her sonic and the cyberman falls.

[primofate]

im feeling kinda akward since its my first time requesting,i really really really like your writings and im wondering if you could do some angst for albedo, anything you feel like tbh, but if may i be a little selfish i was thinking on something like he hurt you, so you break up with him or maybe he break up with you and regret later, im in love with the genius and your writings so why not lol, hope you are doing well, xoxoxooxox

Thanks for the request anon. <3 Sorry it took so long, but I’m feeling angst today so here goes. Let me know what you think <3

QUEUED POST

Scenario: Breaking up

Characters: gn! reader x Albedo

Warnings: angst, break ups, regrets, did I say angst?

Categories: angst in Part 1, comfort in Part 2 (It was getting too long so split it into two parts)

Read: (Part 2) (Part 3 - Final)

Albedo

Alone.

These days you found yourself alone in your shared home. It had been nearly a year since the two of you decided to live together. Maybe that was a bad idea.

You were smitten. He was such an intelligent man, and truth be told you loved how his mind worked. He was silent and mostly kept to himself at first, but with you, there were subtle touches, fleeting kisses. Oh and his eyes, the way his eyes brightened or the way his lips turned up at the sight of you. The way he held you close at nights, up until the morning.

Gone were those days. 

He was hardly home. The intelligent man you had fallen in love with, was also a workaholic. Perhaps you should’ve seen it coming. There were so many signs.

Maybe he changed. Maybe you changed. But the little things weren’t enough anymore. He came home just to sleep and wake up, and he was off again. 

“Bedo, have you got some time off on the weekend? We haven’t been up to Starsnatch Cliff in a while,” you had prodded him a few days ago, wondering if the problem would be solved if you made the first move. 

“Sorry, Y/N, we’re just about to discover more about the properties of electro crystals... It’ll be useful if we want to sustain higher energy concentrations on...” and just like that he had gone off a tangent explaining the whole thing. You smiled a little, it was still endearing how excited he got discussing those things. 

But you couldn’t help but be lonely at how he seemed to love his research more than you. 

‘Maybe I just need to be more proactive. That’s it! I’ll go and visit him at the lab today!’ Surprising him was one of the things that you had always wanted to do. But not a lot of things got past Albedo. He was observant like that. You made a quick run to the bakery, getting him some croissants and welcomed yourself into the Favonius Headquarters. 

You looked up at the sign on his laboratory door. That sign was always there though, Klee had told you about it, and Sucrose had also talked about it once or twice before, telling you that it wouldn’t be a good idea to go in if the sign was up. But when was it ever down? So, you shrugged, and pushed the door open with a wide smile.

“What are you doing here?!” There’s a wild look in Albedo’s eyes the moment you step in. He didn’t appreciate being disturbed. You tilted your head a little at his reaction, you weren’t expecting that.

“Oh, since you’ve been so busy these days I just thought I’d drop by and give you something to--”

“Y/N, did you not see the sign on the door? No disturbances, even from you,”

“I’ll just be quick, I’m just dropping this off,” you lift the paper bag from the bakery and lay it down on the nearest table. Albedo closes his eyes with a sigh. 

“...We’re working on something dangerous right now, I don’t have time to eat. Please take it back,”

Surprisingly, you obey quite quickly, and take the paper bag back into your hands. Annoyance start to pulse in your veins. “Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”

Sucrose had been standing there the whole time, and you can see the slight wince on her face at your cold statement... But Albedo had returned it ten fold, snapping an answer back. “Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”

You didn’t expect how much it would sting. Your shoulders slump downwards at the realization that this... had gone too far. You couldn’t take it anymore. Sucrose opens her mouth, but doesn’t know what to say looking back and forth between you and Albedo. 

The Kreideprinz had continued with his task as if nothing had happened at all, but he knew what he said. He didn’t want any interferences nor accidents happening in the lab and that was the only thing he cared about at the moment. 

Your foot moves to step back, but your eyes are glued to Albedo. You can only see his back. His hair tied up neatly, the shoulders that you loved to wrap your arms around and his hands that were always gentle. You took a good look, drinking the whole scene in like you hadn’t had a drop of water in days. 

This was the last time you would lay eyes on him and it broke you into so many pieces. You turned away without another word, Sucrose staring at the door, before she decided that she needed to follow you. “I-I’ll be back, Master Albedo,” she rarely ever abandoned an experiment, but she knew that you needed a friend right now. 

Ironic, because it should have been Albedo running after you, but instead the green-haired girl caught up to you just as you reached the fountain in the middle of Mondstadt. “Y/N!” she jogs, and stops when you do as you hear your name.

Tears prickled your cheeks, but they were more of frustration than sadness. You stand there for a moment, drying your tears and turning around towards Sucrose, gaze on the pavement. “Y/N...” Sucrose approaches carefully, hand resting on your shoulder.

“...I don’t know anything other than Albedo, Sucrose,” you start, a curtain of memories flashing through your mind. “...Without him, there isn’t much reason for me to stay in Mondstadt,” Sucrose shakes her head rather hastily. “H-He’s just... a little occupied right now, Y/N, I’m sure he doesn’t mean what he said,” You close your eyes, the scene repeating in your head.

“Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”

“Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”

A hard lump forms on your throat at how hard you try not to sob. How hard you try to keep yourself together and Sucrose sees it from the way your lips tremble. “Sucrose, please watch over him,” and that is also the last that Sucrose sees of you. 

That night, Albedo arrives home exhausted, just as he always does. But now that he was home, he could at least expect a warm meal and a warm hug. A soft smile tugs on his lips at the thought.

When he turned the lights on, he was met with a strange stillness instead. His hand stays on the switch as his eyes scan the living room. It was...quiet. There were no plates on the table, and there were no sounds from the kitchen.

Deep in the pits of his stomach there’s an anxiety that starts bubbling up. He brushes it off, opting instead to check the kitchen. “Y/N?”

Empty. 

His footsteps hasten as he opens the bedroom door, expecting you to be curled up there, asleep. 

Empty.

Albedo takes in a shaky breath. You were probably just out in town, doing some late night shopping. Yeah, that’s it, perhaps you just didn’t have enough ingredients for dinner today and--his eyes land on the bedside table.

The photo frame is gone. The photo of the two of you standing side by side together with comfortable smiles on your faces, his hand on your waist, and the house on the background. 

He throws open the closet doors. Your clothes are gone. Your shoes are gone. Even your scent seemed to have disappeared. The anxiety that was once a small bubble in his stomach had started to claw it’s way out, wrenching his heart in places that he didn’t know could hurt. The tears pooling in his eyes were so foreign that he didn’t even know what was happening until he hears himself gasp back a sob.

You’re gone. 

Suddenly it was so hard to breathe, but he pulls himself up and out the door. There’s no way. Where would you go? Perhaps you were just around Mondstadt, trying to get a breath of fresh air to calm your nerves. He searches everywhere. The church, the tavern, the Good Hunter and even atop the rooftop of the Favonius Headquarters. There was a decent view of the city there, and his eyes roam the streets, just to get a glimpse of you.

“...Please...” There’s another lump in his throat, his eyes dart around looking for any small sign of you. 

“Albedo? Tired?” you ask as he returns home one day. He merely lets out a small “Mm,” and pulls a chair out from the dining table to sit on. You walk into the kitchen to fetch him a cup of tea, and he snatches your hand to press a soft kiss on the back of it. “Thank you, love,” 

“...Please!” his grip on the stone walls of the rooftop tighten. His vision blurs.

“Al! Don’t do that!” you try to swat his hand away from the pot, a short laugh coming off of your lips at how mischievous he could be sometimes, trying to dip his finger into the sauce. He has a grin on his face as he successfully tastes the sauce off his finger, making a sound of approval as he draws you in for a light kiss on your forehead, “It’s good, as always,” 

His legs buckle, and he finds himself on his knees, hands fisted upon the cold stone wall. “At least tell me where you've gone! I can’t--” he doesn’t know when the last time he cried was, but whenever it was, he doesn’t remember it to be this bad. The pain was unlike any injury he had, it grasped so tightly at his heart.

“Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”

“Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”

He furiously shakes his head because he knows that it was his fault. “I didn’t mean it, please give them back,” as if there was someone else who took you away. As if there was a God listening to him right now. 

He realizes that the worst of it was not that you had left, but that you had left no traces of you behind. No photo. Not a piece of clothing. Not a trace of your existence.

Nothing for him to hold on to.

That night, he dragged himself back home. Face flushed and hot from the tears he had shed and the ones he was attempting to hold back.

That night, he painfully got into bed.

Alone.

Taglist:  @larkspyrr @rim0na @sweeti-pie @l3mon-mxshroom @hai-q-haikyuu @tkshoki @kyquu @KimbapSana @fanfictionenthusiast

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[poguesgold]

how did you feel about season? i know most people liked it better than season 1 but i’m not sure how i feel yet🤔 might need to rewatch it

okay this ended up soooo long so i'm giving a tl;dr review here and if anyone cares to read my insanely long thought dump you can feel free. this part is spoiler free also!!

cons: i think they should have further developed the s1 storyline rather than conjuring up an entirely new treasure and conflict; i don't think they did the characters justice a lot of the time, particularly kie and jj; too much yelling and running not enough hanging out; the finale cliff hanger was a stupid writing choice

pros: cleo!!; pope-centric plotline!!!; amazing jjpope moments in the improv sequences; never a boring moment; rafebarry oh my god????; neck kiss shirtless wrestling holding hands standing unnecessarily close jjpope rot; just a straight up nine hour long adrenaline rush and i love that shit.

overall: i definitely did not like it more than s1, but i still REALLY loved it. i think it's worth the watch, just don't go into it expecting good writing or realistic injuries or a comprehensive plot LMFAO. what saves the season is the pogues' chemistry and their improv sequences, for real. and cleo. you WILL get angry about the shitty script and characterization if you’re really invested in that part of things, but as far as vibes and dopamine high it was awesome. it was a fun watch and i'll definitely rewatch at least once to soak it in properly

please this is going to be soooo long i apologize in advance. but i have a lot of thoughts. also ⚠️⚠️spoilers ahead!!⚠️⚠️

most of this review is going to be criticisms tbh so sorry for that but this show kinda sucks (affectionately<3)

i thought season 2 was an absolute TRAINWRECK as far as writing goes. jonas pate was basically like. this season we're going to have an even BIGGER and BETTER treasure!!! but the exact same thing is going to happen. like. we already had gold. and that's what they were going to the bahamas for at the end of season 1 for anyway????? it would have been so easy to just develop the original storyline further, i just cannot figure out why they would completely abandon it for another mediocre storyline. (i LOVED that this other mediocre storyline was pope-centric and the main character energy he was given this season. but. they. could have done that?? with the first storyline?????)

i hate that they brought big john back so so much. SO much. literally it was the stupidest most idiotic lazy cheesy plot choice in the world. it doesn't make sense, we like saw his literal bones at one point like his lifeless corpse, and WHY would they bring back a key character from the PREVIOUS ARC when they created an ENTIRELY NEW CONFLICT AND PLOTLINE FOR THIS SEASON???? jonas pate stuck it in for shock value and cliff hanger in hopes of securing a season 3, and i hate him for it. he's such a terrible writer white men have it so easy

someone in the neck kiss truthers discord earlier pointed out that jb's dead father returning after like a year and a half of thinking he was dead would probably be more traumatic that healing at this point, and i agree so much. also, you know that they're not going to use it for good either way. they're going to use his dad coming back as a way to further traumatize him somehow because obx writers are jombeephobic. and i wouldn't put it past them to bring him back just to kill him off again. jonas pate wants to write john b torture porn and i am TIRED of it

my least favorite thing about season 2 was the characterization. they really did just disregard the characters they created in season 1. kie was completely ooc for like three episodes, and it wasn't because she was mourning. it was just shitty writing. she had no character outside of her relationships this season, which has been my fear from the very beginning and why i have never wanted kie with any of the pogues. season 2 diminished her character to the female love interest, and that just sucked so bad for her.

whether you're a jjpope or not, season 2 completely changed their friendship dynamic. the only time we got glimpses of the season 1 jjpope dynamic was in the improv sequences when rudy and jd took it upon themselves. also during their hugs LMFAO. which is also an acting choice. the writing completely disregarded their friendship and dynamic. it was weird as fuck it was all weird. i also hated that kie and sarah's scripted interactions were just them talking about boys. another case of friendships again being completely disregarded for the cishet relationships. 

i just really feel like all of the characters were handled poorly this season, which is crazy because literally ALL we asked for was backstory and character development and pogue screentime. but jonas pate instead decided to write ten episodes of nonstop running and yelling and fuckinf adrenaline, with an ooc script. for funsies

i feel like the magic of season 1 was lost. the vibe of season 1 that makes it so comforting and rewatchable and lovely is sort of just lost in all the silly plot. we see snatches of it here and there, but they feel crammed between unnecessary action scenes and stunts and shouting when we would have been happy with ten episodes of the pogues hanging out in each other's bedrooms.

NOW IM GOING TO TALK THINGS I LIKED OKAY OKAY

i seriously DID love watching it. we pulled an all nighter in the neck truthers discord and binged the entire season and the adrenaline of that kept me going for the rest of the week. it was literally fucking insane absolutely batshit and i LOVED it. the writing was horrible but like. it's obx we know it isn't good LMFAOO. it's part of the charm

i definitely don't like it more than s1, but i did still like it a lot. i LOVED how pope centric it was, like he fr had such main character energy this season and it was wonderful. even though the storyline was weird and didn't make sense jd did so well lolol he did so wonderfully. i loved seeing pope get the attention he deserves this season.

JJPOPE MOMENTS. i was definitely sad they didn't have an arc to themselves like they did season 1, but oh my god jd and rudy FED US with jjpope improv moments this season. the NECK KISS? the WRESTLING? every single one of their hugs?????? they're insane. it sucked that they really didn't have any scenes alone but we take what we can get.

SPEAKING OF GAYS LET'S TALK ABOUT RAFEBARRY. because?? oh my god??? first season it was like a crack ship and then season 2 came out and... what are we supposed to do ignore it? they are literally??? gay????? it's jarring they're insane. i am so so invested in them it's kind of unreal how deep i got into this ship in such a short amount of time (follow @rafebarry babies <33)

cleo. i love cleo. the best new thing to come out of this season for sure. clarah is coming strong i can feel it and i am SO ready. i know that they're most likely going to move toward a cleopope romance next season, which i don't hate? i'm bothered only because a) it's obvious it's mostly being done to get pope out of the way for jiara, and b) i think people often push two dark-skinned characters into a ship just because they're both dark-skinned, and that yucks me out. but i will say i really liked their moments together in s2 and i think they could be really good together if they're canon s3 (which they probably will be.)

overall like. it was a fun watch. i retained like 2% of the plot i was just there for the vibes and dopamine high and that was totally fine. i want to take the pogues out of jonas pate’s greedy little white man fingers and give them the character and relationship development they deserve, but we can’t have it all i guess. the cinematography this season i think i liked better than season 1, wasn’t a huge fan of that weird yellow filter tho. also the lighting. obx lighting guys get demoted challenge. umm yeah season 1 supremacy but season 2 had amazing vibes

[sukirichi]

[ BROKEN RECORDS ; asks ] 

💌 — love letter from @kyriaan​

from track 007. 

Okay okay im still kinda meh'ish' but i really wanted to answer you so 😭 ill try to compile both my answer to your answer on my love letter and my hyped review on track 7 <3 so yeah another long ass rant from me 😩💕Suki... Suki pls I totally forgot Tsumu had a crush on us Suki... And then poor Tsumu ir there sulking cause he still likes u- JFBFBDVDVSJCHDHSIA omfg i wanted so much to hug him my baby I like him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he was trying so hard to behave while just sitting there sad fhfhfvbbshsjfhbdjaofhffhsoshd TSUMU YOU'RE STILL IN MY TOP 3 BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 

And then you throw the whole dancing scene with suna and I dont know whos on my top 3 anymore 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 SUKIIIIIIII THAT SCENE ALONE GJGJBFBSJCNFNKSOSNF OMFG IM FALLING SO HARD FOR SUNA I THINK? I think my top 3 had 4 dudes in it cause 3rd place has Suna and Atsumu tied?? Hfhfbfbfhdhsja I CANT PICK?? BUT BUT I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY DOWN WHEN READING THAT AND THAT SCENE ALONE MADE ME FEEL SO SOFT IT WAS SO CUTE AND OMG IF SUNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DROP ON MY KNEES AND ASK HIM TO MARRY ME CAUSE OMFGGGFFFF DUDE EVEN WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT WHOLE 'HES GOING TO BE ONE LUCKY GUY'

Oh shit im crying again that scene lets me emotional 😭😭😭😭 someone get me a sunrin irl pls

Anyways the way that suna knows y/n is just.... FUCKING END UP TOGETHER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST JBVSHSJBEHSISJ

Also how powerful are we?? HOW FUCKING POWERFUL ARE WE TO SCORE SUNA KITA AND TSUMU?? ARE YOU GONNA TELL. ME IF OIKAWA MOFO TOORU APPEARED HE WOULD ALSO BE ON HIS KNEES FOR US?? (okay no wait... No nooo i would legit drop anyones ass for tooru hes that powerful for me like sorry suna was fun but TOORU)

Yo nah but the whole Kita sex scene- let me breath bestie LET ME BREATH CAUSE I WAS HOT BUT AT SAME TIME I WAS FEELING GUILTY 😂😂😂😂 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS FEELING DISAPPOINTED NEXT DAY LIKE KITA PLS BABY WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?? 😬😬😬😬 But at same time his 'ill fuck the thought of him out of you tonight' I ALMOST MOANED YASSSSS TELL ME DADDY HOLY SHITTTTT

👀👀👀👀 Still not a kita simp ✌️✌️🤏✌️

Okay Kita deserves the best tho I mean okay he went there as a y/n mom's plan but he did ended up helping alot... Especially cause he knows no matter what y/n heart will always be suna's and pls give Kita the best ending possible cause he deserves someone who will trully love him and show him the world cause mah boy deserves it

*breaths in breaths out* i hated this scene- not in a bad way but shit i hate rejections... To the point im kinda afraid of confessing now cause i despise the feeling of being rejected... The best i can descrive it it like this coldness in your chest that descends your whole body and then you feel frozen in place.. Thats how it feels for me I hate it I absolutely despise it- its also the feeling i have when in a really bad situation and ugh...

The suna part made. Me feel this no matter how many times i reread it the feeling doesnt lessen it keeps being there cause (okay you probably are tired already of me saying this but) Suki I feel like I cant put it in words how much of a fucking good of a writer you are. Ill go ahead and say you are by far my favorite writer the fact i always feel so engaged and the fact i always feel like im there its just- it blows my mind.

I felt like suna was personally rejecting me and i hated it- i swear the moment he said prove it I almost screamed HOW? My brain had to take a moment to just slap me and say: 'kya you reading this is not happening chill-' cause i was already sobbing uncontrollably... I even whimpered the dont leave me 😬 my sadass went to bed feeling so sad thanks to suna... Man i wanted so much to hug him and i swear i would give him as much love as he gave y/n cause well i kin suna alot in this series cause im like that im a giver i treat others the way i would like to be treated (reason why ive been down lately ✌️) and i cant blame suna for finally setting boundaries- his call tho 'do i not stand a chance with you anymore y/n? Are you really not capable of falling in love with me?".... Oh suna... We are in love with you.. We always were we're just fucking stupid 😩

Also mari pls go jump off a cliff <3 youre in need dear cause sleeping with other man just to separate suna and y/n <3 i want so much to punch her 🙂🙃

Now for the love letter part (im so sorry for this being so long ✌️)

You said that if we asked suna he woukd say that he genuinely loved mari okay... Ill go ahead and say yes he liked mari he even learned how to love her and he genuinely cared for her BUT and heres where my personal view comes in so maybe ill be biased here still for me that was just a he loves her as in he cares you also love your friends and care for them but he didnt love her- and by this I mean- he could never be fully committed for her. Yes he loved her and he felt happy with her but like track 7 proved everything he would do in the back of his mind was y/n he deeply wished Mari was her and for that he just loved Mari cause he learned how to care about her- but he never forgot who he trully was in love it. Also the happiness he experienced with Mari was pretty much the one I experienced the bliss of having someone there and that bliss also made suna turn a blind eye to all the red flags from Mari cause to him all the jealousy meant she cared and thats toxic but suna was so desperate for some sort of 'she cares' that even all the possessiveness was bliss for him... And that makes my heart clench for suna...

'suna had to put an effort for the relationship' and saddly i feel like mari didnt... Mari didnt care mari was there because she was a fangirl of suna and got lucky, the way she just discarded him so effortlessly that proved-screamed how much she loved him- she didnt. She was just possessive over him she liked the whole 'hes mine' dynamic and suna was the perfect boyfriend cause he was giving her the world... What he wanted someone to do for him.

Also yeah suna and y/n might have been spurred from them being fuck buddies but well love doesnt really have an agenda- they just clicked, understood each other and had chemistry yeah they had tons and tons of sex but feelings started not because of sex but thanks to their deep connection... Also that dsncing scene in track 7 that alone spoke for their whole relationship- that alone is enough to defend their feelings for each other- yes it might jave started just as fuck buddies but ended up in them loving each other deeply and that is enough love after all doesnt need a perfect start. It can start out of the most stupid ways.

You said life with excitement and fun wouldn't be permanent or real.. Honestly i think it could be.. Cause i mean when you love someone that deeply your life always feels exciting even with the littlest things and that the purest kind of love. Even just going for a walk at the beach would be fun for them or even staying up watching movies i believe suna and y/n would always find a way to make their lofe exciting without much effort.

Also it kinda makes me. Sad when i see some anon saying that y/n and suna relationship are toxic? It makes me. Confused maybe because I was in such extremely toxic one (girl i sweat if you search for toxic relationship my ex's face will be there as an example 🙄) that Mari to me screams toxic! Possessive, manipulative, jealous and a few more if I think closely about it while with y/n and suna they are just two idiots that are hurting each other cause they're just that: idiots one that is afraid to get hurt and the other that keeps hoping- dont get me wrong what they're doing is not healthy but i dont find it toxic honestly

Sorry for the extreme long rant 8D I tried to keep it short but you always make me so hyped to talk about your works 😩

Hfbfbfhfhfieia

[ from saeren ]

NAHHH CUZ I LOVE TSUMU SO MUCH HERE HE WAS SO PRECIOUS. I didn’t write too much about them in college but Atsumu was so cute when he crushed on YN. he was always sending her memes and cute texts like “have you eaten” “good morning” and she’d feel so awkward because she doesn’t know how to let him down easy without hurting him. either way tsumu would feel hurt. AND YES PLS HE WAS SO SAD I MEAN, HIS CRUSH AND HIS BEST FRIEND NEARLY HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THAT’S GOING TO HURT

SUNA AND ATSUMU TIED?? tbh I loved that dancing scene bcos suna is one of my faves and I really wanna do that with him hehehhehe. NAHHH PLEASE SAME IF SUNA DANCED WITH ME AND MADE A WEDDING PLAYLIST I’D BE LIKE boy what’re u waiting for let’s get married now !! n yes he said whoever YN will choose in the future will be one lucky guy IM SOBBING RN

naur cuz. there’s something about dating your best friend. I’m not saying a boyfriend wouldn’t know you as well but there’s something different when you’re best friends first. they could literally share eye contact and have a long ass conversation just from that. their connection is different.

HAJKALA AS FOR THE POWER, BR! YN IS A VERY CHARISMATIC AND FRIENDLY PERSON !! she’s like one of those people you meet that not only are they attractive as hell, but they’re also super approachable and down to earth. that’s why she’s so popular + she’s flirty and can make a stranger feel welcome or comfortable in the first meeting. SGSHJAK I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO ADD OIKAWA HERE BUT I WANNA MAKE IT MORE INARIZAKI CENTRED

the seggs scene with kita SOBSSSS he’s such a soft dom IDC he knows where the clit is, he knows how to hit it. he’s a “your pleasure first before mine” type of guy. kita is perfect, PERIODT. HE GIVES DADDY VIBES HUH AHSKAA HE’S SO SWEET YET SEXY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ISTG IF SUNA WASN’T OUR BEST FRIEND THEN I’D RUN FOR KITA ALL THE TIME. and I agree, kita deserves the best !! and don’t worry, I actually plan on giving kita the best ending, I promise you he’ll be fine (slight spoiler there)

 YESSSSS OMG I’VE BEEN REJECTED BEFORE AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FELT, MY BODY WAS SO COLD AND I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE IT MAKES YOU THINK. am I not good enough, did I do something wrong, do you not wanna give me a chance or try it out but ofc I’d never say that out loud. AND KYAAA AAAH IM YOUR FAVORITE WRITER??? NO CUZ YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. I remember ur asks way back reckless era and you used to tell me that my writing made you picture the scenes easily and you felt you were there in that moment and I’m just so grateful thank you so much <33

NO BCOS WHEN SUNA SAID “prove it” I was like. this is it. that’s his hot boy shit moment. man’s has had enough of being thrown from one toxic relationship to another and he also deserves his good moments yknow. and you kin suna here?? BESTIE IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, SUNA’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT HERE AHSJAKA. that’s true about suna tho !! he’s definitely affectionate + a giver. he’s happy being the one who gives most of the time but he’s a human as well, ofc he’d want to receive the same amount of love back. ALSO HIS PHONE CALLLLLL ugh tbh that part was the one that made me the saddest bcos he’s just. he wants to know if there’s really no more chance. all this time he never gave up. but he’s also tired so if yn says ‘no more’ then he’ll give up. its his way of respecting himself too ahsjaka

YOOOOO I AGREE WITH THAT. he cares for mari as a person but not 100% as a lover. but ofc he’s still thankful for how happy she made him because she was there at his worst. and that’s true, deep down suna still wishes that it was YN who’s right beside him. he will always ALWAYS want her back. he learned how to love mari in a way that was more out of mutual care but not in the way he loves YN. no that’s reserved only for YN – she will remain no 1 in his heart. AND YESSSSS the reason why suna overlooked the red flags was bcos to him, its something that was supposed to be “normal” like no perfect partner existed. he thought mari’s attitude of pushing YN away was normal, and its normal to want your partner’s best friend keep some distance but not to the point of mari’s place where she literally wants the two of them to cut each other out of their lives.

and aww I’m so happy that you realized how I wanted to portray suna and yn’s relationship. they’re….like the definition of youth in its freest form. they were fucking around and doing stupid things, but they had a connection. they had something deeper than just sexual intimacy. even if they never dated or even if YN never proposed the idea of it, they would’ve actually been still great friends. and oooh I actually don’t remember saying life with excitement and fun wouldn’t be real HAHAHAHA so I can’t comment further on that. but I think when I ‘said’ those I probably meant that it’s not always going to be all rainbows and unicorns in a relationship. there’s no such thing as a relationship that’s always happy and sweet 24/7, but ofc it can be sweet and it can be pure even with the little things <33 they just need to work on it.

hmmm tbhhhh… suna and yn are toxic in a way that they refuse to let each other go when they clearly can’t meet halfway. toxic doesn’t have to be limited in just being mari-like in which they are possessive or manipulative, because then if we’d drive deeper into yn’s personality, then she’d be stringing suna all along and that’s unfair of her. she knows suna wants more and yet she remained being friends with him, which totally isn’t a bad thing, but it’s because she keeps flirting with him and is so romantically comfortable with him that she doesn’t realize it’s hurting suna because he’ll give double meanings to that. their relationship is ‘toxic’ because they’re not entirely good for each other, they’re not that ready to be with one another yet and neither is the world letting them be in peace, so forcing their relationship to a point they’re hurting another is the toxic part.

[ from @kyriaan ]

Ah also not me feeling all proud and mushy cause my analysis made you mind blown fjfbdnsjdkpa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I guess its also because i see this story as a really big mirror of my own toxic relationship sonits extremely easy for me to get it... And oh boy the way i kin suna here

But dhdhfjdospdhfbsoa 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel happy now *huggles*

[ from saeren ] 

and aah yes ofc, I’m really happy whenever someone can see the underlying details I scatter throughout the story !! yeah omg same hahahaha broken records is also half inspired by the toxic people I’ve met. I kin kita here tho and I’m so glad you’re happier now !!

[xianglingslesbian]

ewbts - my top moments

no i will never stop laughing at that abbreviation it’s beautiful. buckle in because this is gonna be long, and probably don’t read it unless you’ve watched/read kuroko’s basketball and like izuki lmaoooo

chapter 1: hatchling, awaken

Izuki swallows. “Why do you all think I can do this?”

Then Kiyoshi turns to him with steel in his eyes (that must be how he got nicknamed Iron Heart - he seriously never backs down!) and asks him very clearly, “Why don’t you?”

Why don’t I think I can be captain?

“Because nobody thought I could be until now.”

aka “ceru is a masochist”, exhibit 1/???. anyway lets hear it for insecurities!!

chapter 2: liftoff

Predictably, Kuroko drags him aside at practice the next day and says, “I have something to tell you, Izuki-senpai.”

Izuki smiles at him. “Is it about your five evil exes?”

Kuroko looks horrified. “My what?!”

i think im funny

chapter 3: crash landing

As Izuki walks off the court, he looks for flashing glasses and grey eyes.

He curses himself for the heavy sadness that falls over him like a blanket when he doesn’t spot them.

yay for “ceru is a masochist” exhibit 2!

Oh, he [Izuki] watched videos of Aomine, came up with strategy after strategy to corner him, but videos and strategies can only go so far. Aomine in real life is something else entirely, a flash of lightning setting the court on fire with the sheer elegance of his crazy street basketball. All one can do is sit back and watch, awed beyond belief. Nothing can curb the wild madness that is Aomine Daiki – unrestrained, gleeful insanity dancing across the court like it’s his playground.

i also rlly like this line, it has some pretty imagery and we all know im a slut for pretty imagery~

chapter 4: a broken bone grows back stronger

“All right,” Koganei says to himself, moving to stand in front of the hoop. “One more time.”

He jumps, raising the ball to just above his face and releasing it. It misses, and he lets out a cry of frustration.

Can he even do this? Is it worth the time?

Koganei bites back the wave of guilt that washes over him at the thought. Izuki, Kiyoshi, Tsuchida, Rinnosuke, Kagami, Kuroko – he’d be letting them down if he didn’t give this his best shot. They’re all so dedicated to basketball that they each have a special skill honed from years of practice and love for the sport. If he can’t bring anything of his own to the table, what will he mean to this team? Seirin makes him want to be a team player, to add his skills to theirs rather than shining on his own. The change is good, yes, but he doesn’t want to stop there – he doesn’t want to be useless.

He will not be useless.

a bit of context: in this fic, since hyuuga did not return, koga became the SG for seirin :D i think my favorite character to develop, apart from izuki, was koganei - it was so fun to imagine all the ways he could have gone!

chapter 5: spreading new wings

All too soon, the day of judgment arrives, and Seirin convenes in the gym one last time before they head off to the Winter Cup building. No one says anything; not Kagami, fresh from his training trip to America, not Izuki, not Kiyoshi or Riko. They simply stand there, breathing in the scent of cleaner and leather and something else that’s so entirely Seirin, and knowing that no matter what happens this Winter Cup, they will return to the gym different people than they were before.

Different, and better.

Then they head out and off to the opening ceremony of the Winter Cup, not looking back once as they do.

yay for more pretty words!!!

“Oh, no worries. The actual motivational part is coming. Anyway, as I was saying – Tōō was just better than us that day. It’s hard to admit, I know: far easier to blame yourself, say you didn’t give it your all, but you know; we all know. It was their day to shine, not ours. But I think we’ve worked hard enough and are in a good enough mindset to change that, today. We aren’t scared or apprehensive about Tōō and Aomine, because we’ve faced them before. We know what attitude they’ll walk into our game with, and that’s what we’re going to exploit!”

“You’re going to exploit,” corrects Tsuchida. “Unlike you, the rest of us aren’t manipulative bastards.”

That raises a bunch of cackles, which quiet down when Izuki gives his team a glare. It doesn’t work on Riko, however, who sniggers under her breath and smirks at him.

izuki highkey sucks at pep talks lmao

chapter 6: ride the storm

Kagami and Aomine were made for each other. Made for this rivalry, this intense competition that will push them to their very limits and carry them onto a plane that no ordinary human can reach. Neither can defeat the other per se - they’re destined to stand neck and neck forever. However, one has a trump card on his side; and that trump card can make all the difference in the world.

Aomine Daiki may be strong, but Kagami Taiga is just as good. And damn him if the power of Kagami’s determination coupled with Kuroko’s unshakeable support won’t overwhelm the undisputed king of basketball.

Move aside, light bulb, Izuki thinks vindictively. The tube light is here to replace you.

pretty words. gay words. i love them (aokaga + izuki being a salt man lmao).

chapter 7: eagle versus aegis

“So bitter,” he [Izuki] reflects aloud, answering Himuro’s question.

That’s the emotion in his eyes. That’s what I might have become, if I had let my anger grow.

And suddenly he isn’t seeing Himuro Tatsuya anymore, but a version of himself, a version with darkened eyes and a mocking smile and pain and rage bubbling below the surface. Immensely talented, but not able to break the last barrier. Because he’s an ordinary man, and it’s as much as an ordinary man can do.

Strong, so strong. But also so terribly, heartbreakingly weak. Weak in a way that today’s Izuki Shun will never be.

GOD where do i even start w/this scene its literally everything i’ve ever wanted to write ksjfhsfj

chapter 8: clawing through mirages

Izuki’s taken aback for a millisecond before he continues his mad dash towards Murasakibara, letting out a war cry as the center makes to simply toss the ball into the hoop.

“It wasn’t their intention,” says a quiet but familiar voice. “But, this is the result of Kiyoshi-senpai and the other upperclassmen’s tenacity.”

Izuki grins, feeling new strength fill him up.

Together, huh? Okay. Together.

“This is where it ends for you!” shouts the voice, becoming stronger.

Not one, but two hands knock the ball out of Murasakibara’s hands and onto the ground. Kuroko shimmers into vision, smiling at Izuki with all the happiness in the world, just as the final buzzer rings.

i loved writing this match tbh, yousen is super underrated!

chapter 9: catch the updraft

21 - 22, in their favour at long last. Izuki grins at Kasamatsu, who shakes his head wearily.

“Using my own advice against me. What a terrible student you are,” he says, affecting an old man’s voice.

“The true student is the one who beats the master at his own game,” Izuki says quickly, sliding back into their familiar banter. “I swore to myself, my drive would beat your drive today, kitakore.”

“When did you get so wise?” asks Kasamatsu with a sigh, ignoring his pun and receiving the ball from Kobori, who was quick to grab it once Koga scored. Izuki just laughs, not bothering to reply and instead focusing carefully on Kasamatsu’s movements.

Kasamatsu shifts his weight right, left, then right again. Izuki narrows his eyes, trying to figure out what the hell his upperclassman is doing—

But it’s far too late, as Kasamatsu successfully passes through his defence in his moment of distraction, ball clutched tightly in hand. The sound of the scoring whistle is shrill and unpleasant to Izuki’s ears, and his chest stings at the loss.

“What was that about the main course?” Kasamatsu teases, wearing an enormous grin as he comes forward to guard Izuki once more. 

izuki + kasamatsu banter is so so fun to write y’all have no idea

chapter 10: headwinds

This is your fault. If you’d been a better captain, a better point guard, a better everything, none of this would’ve happened. Seirin would have been well in the lead and controlling the game—

Izuki shakes his head violently, trying to get rid of his intrusive thoughts. He knows he’s a good captain, and doing this to himself will do no good for the rest of the team. He has to be strong for them. He has to lead them to victory, he can’t be a weak person overwhelmed by emotion. But it’s so hard to breathe, suddenly, and Izuki’s about to sink when—

“Don’t worry, Captain. I’ll take care of this match today,” says a confident and familiar voice, and a hand claps down on Izuki’s shoulder. He turns, a little surprised by the sudden contact, to find Koganei’s cat mouth set in a determined frown. “You can rest your hopes on me. I’ll be Seirin’s wings for as long as you need me to.”

kogazuki brotp feels man. kogazuki brotp feels.

chapter 11: cliff edge

Riko nods, sobering up a little. “I do know. And… I have to admit, I was a little harsh on you in the early days… I kept comparing you to Hyūga-kun.” She looks at the ground briefly, then raises her head to continue, meeting Izuki’s eyes with no hint of doubt in her own brown irises. “But then I saw how different you were. How you were never willing to give up, even if you were the worst player in the world. That’s what… that’s what made me truly believe in you.” She swallows thickly, taking a deep breath, but not averting her gaze from his.

The honesty and trust in her eyes is what shatters Izuki’s calm.

He steps forward, and she rises too, opening her arms. Then he hugs her tightly, murmuring, “Thank you for having faith in me.”

The “Of course. You’re family,” that she whispers back fills Izuki’s already overflowing heart even further.

Eventually, he lets her go, and she drops lightly to the ground, straightening her sweater and skirt.

“We never speak of this,” Izuki warns her, moving towards the door of the room.

Riko nods, back to her usual haughty demeanour. “Of course. No one can know we’re actually big softies who care a lot for each other.”

“To them, we’re just sarcastic jerks,” Izuki agrees. “And that’s the way it stays.”

anyone said izuriko brotp???? this fic is just platonic feels tbh

chapter 12: overcast skies

What should I do? Someone tell me! the voice cries out in Izuki’s head, a voice he hasn’t heard since the loss to Tōō. It is the same voice that whispers all his insecurities in his ear in the dead of night when no one is around to reassure him, the same voice that gave rise to all his fears and worries. It is the voice of the vulnerable and weak part of Izuki, the one that needs someone to guide him with a gentle hand, and he hates it.

It is a voice that, frankly, he never thought he would hear again. Yet, here it is, crying out for attention, screaming for someone to help.

He thought he had left it behind. It turns out he was wrong.

Izuki shoves it deep into his heart with more effort than he’s exerted all game, breathing a heavy sigh when he succeeds in locking it behind the glass wall that keeps his emotions away.

let’s hear it for “ceru is a masochist” exhibit 3~

chapter 13: nosedive

“I don’t know who you are,” Koganei completes his little speech, anger brimming in every part of his being. “But I know that my captain is Izuki Shun, not Akashi Seijūrō. The coach can bench you if she likes; we can fight without our captain, because we know he wants us to win for his sake. We’ve been fighting without him all the match, and we can continue doing so. We don’t need a player that can’t play with the same passion as us!”

Izuki looks at the ground and doesn’t respond. Somewhere within, something is stirring at Koganei’s words. Something that cries out to fill the gap inside him.

Next to speak is Kiyoshi, standing up and executing much the same move as Koga had by yanking Izuki up by his collar. However, Kiyoshi pulls Izuki into a standing position so that Izuki is half-leaning against him.

Brown eyes meet black, and Kiyoshi simply states, “I didn’t expect this from you, Shun.”

Then he rears his fist backwards and punches Izuki in the jaw.

“ceru is a masochist” exhibit 4!

chapter 14: bird of prey

“I just… I didn’t think you’d give up so easily.”

Koganei’s head shoots up. There’s fury in his eyes, and his face is white. His hands are shaking.

Izuki continues, calm and careless as he always is, “Really… after you gave me all that talk at halftime? I don’t believe this is you.”

Koganei’s jaw clenches, and he cries, “But I have done everything I can! He’s just too good—”

“And when has that ever stopped you?” Izuki keeps his voice quiet and even, but it has the gravity he intended it to - Koga falls silent immediately, eyes wide and riveted on him. “When have you ever backed down from fighting? You don’t know the meaning of giving up. You’ve never cared about whether someone’s better than you. I knew a shooting guard once, just like you, and he had the potential to be the greatest in the world. He was held back because he cared that he was worse than others. But you? You never blinked at it, just practised and practised until you could do the impossible.”

His words are getting louder with pride; he’s unable to keep it steady with the outpouring of emotion in his speech.

“Tell me, who can master Ray Allen’s form in one and a half years? Who can be such a rookie at basketball, yet be able to fight an Uncrowned King and respond to a shot that has left all its previous victims unable to move?!” Izuki leans forward and jabs a finger into Koganei’s chest demandingly. “Tell me, who the hell was that?!”

“Me,” Koga whispers timidly, looking down.

ahhhh yay for more platonic comfort and bonding. *izuki voice* yelling is the way to get ur team to get their shit tgt

chapter 15: born to soar

Izuki finds himself moving, barely thinking as he grabs the ball and bawls for an attack. He’s running faster than he ever has, flying up the court like there are wings on his legs. No one follows at his pace - they’re all too far behind.

No one but Kiyoshi.

The rhythm beats louder than ever, a heavy pulse in Izuki’s head and heart. He can feel Akashi on his heels and knows he needs to do something.

One second left—

Izuki’s hands move on their own, passing the ball to the one person he knows that he will always find.

Kiyoshi catches it and jumps.

Fortyfivethirtyfivetwentyfivefifteen—

The ball leaves his hands.

Fivezero—

The whistle blows to end the game. Kiyoshi’s shot hits the backboard and drops straight into the basket. Time stops as a shrill sound screeches into the air and the ref shouts, “124 to 123, Seirin High wins the Winter Cup!”

there we go. the most heartwrenching scene of this chapter ahhhhh

chapter 16: final flight

“We should go. Don’t want to keep them waiting too long,” Kiyoshi says, staring daggers at Hyūga, who to his credit doesn’t flinch but merely stares back.

“Let’s go, then,” Izuki agrees. He looks straight at Hyūga and allows a small, formal smile to play on his lips. Hyūga just nods, accepting the answer.

Izuki nods back, then turns around and starts walking away. But even as he moves toward the exit, something weighs heavily in his tired chest. For the first time in a long time, he isn’t confident in his decision.

Acting on impulse, he turns on his heel and yells out, “Call sometime, maybe!” before walking backwards out the door that Kiyoshi holds for him.

It’s an open-ended suggestion. Hyūga can choose to wallow and ignore it, or he can choose to pick up the phone. Izuki isn’t going to do so either way - he’ll be happy if Hyūga makes that call, but he won’t be terribly sad if he doesn't.

This time, he’s going to be the one that walks forward without looking back.

ahhh okay so this scene means a hella lot to me personally because... i had to grow, the way izuki grew. izuki’s now strong enough to sort of put the olive branch out and say, “take it or leave it,” and if it’s left he’s not gonna be upset. that’s something i really learned with a lot of difficulty and i think that that growth - in both me and him - is a lovely thing.

and there we have it! my favorite moments from each chapter of this story. *cries in a corner* god i can’t believe it’s over...

THANK YOU FOR THE JOURNEY!

[sweetiejunie]

This city

Summary: a late night drive with beomgyu

Genre: fluff, slight angst

Beomgyu x reader

Requested💕

=====================================

“Hello?” You spoke in a groggy voice, picking up the buzzing phone next to you.

“Hi babe! Were you sleeping again?”

“.... no....” you answered, hearing beomgyu chuckled on the other end.

“Okay then, since you’re awake, get ready, I’m picking you up in 15.”

“Wait, wha-”

“Love you, bye.”

With that, he hung up. Leaving you in a state of confusion. Checking your phone, the clock showed 11.23 pm. What could he possibly want at this hour?

You laid in your bed, contemplating your options. For one, you could get changed and get ready to meet beomgyu. On the other hand, you could just stay in bed and wait for him to let himself in. As tempting as the latter was, curiosity got the better of you and dragged you out of bed.

Not knowing any details, it was hard to choose an outift. Did you have to dress up? You had no idea where he was bringing you. After a few minutes of consideration, you decided on a simple oversized shirt and jeans, you sat on the couch waiting for a knock to come from the door.

As expected, no more than 5 minutes later, you heard your passcode being keyed and the door being pushed opened with beomgyu’s head poking through.

“Babe!” he called out, only to be cut off when he turned to see you already waiting for him, “oh, hey babe, i expected you to still be in bed. Come on let’s go.”

From his dressing, you figured he definitely wasn’t bringing you anywhere fancy, a plain shirt, layered with a bomber jacket and jeans.

Walking over to where you were seated, beomgyu leaned down and gave you a kiss. But there was an eerie feeling, something about it felt... off. Grabbing your hand, he dragged you out of your house and to his car.

His car wasn’t anything luxurious, but you didn’t mind. Through the years you had been together, this car contained countless memories. There was the time you two had accidentally spent the night in his car because neither of you wanted to drive. And also the time you somehow got locked in his car.

Beomgyu, being the gentleman he was, stopped at the passenger side and opened the car door for you. But before stepping in you had to know, “gyu, you still havent told me, so where we’re going?”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m sure you’ll love it. And i just really needed to see you right now.”

‘Needed’ A wave of worry crashed over you as that word echoed through your head. Beomgyu never used that word often. Usually, he would use want. Very semdom need. That’s when it hit you, something was wrong.

Stepping into his car, you wondered if your intuition was right. This time, you really hoped it wasn’t, it pained you seeing your, usually carefree and smiley, boy sad or hurt. Your mood reflected his own and if he was upset you wouldn’t hesitate to fight whoever or whatever caused it. You analysed his every move as he closed your door and went around to the driver’s side. Even if it was the smallest hint to what was wrong, you didnt want to miss it.

He got in the car, closed the door and fastened his safety belt. Looking at you through the corner of his eye, he chuckled before saying, “what is it? You’ve been watching me.”

“Are you alright?”

Hearing the concern in your voice he turned to face you, placing a hand on your cheek, “of course, why would i be?”

You studied his face. His words said one thing but his expression said another. There was a sadness in his eyes, but you didn’t want to pry. When he was ready he would tell you. And even if he didn’t, you would still be by him no matter what. You hummed a response. And with that, beomgyu grabbed the steering wheel and step on the gas, driving off.

The drive was quiet, beomgyu kept his eyes on the road while you looked out the window, only peeking at him every so often. He looked ethereal, driving with one hand as his other laid on the arm rest. The streets lights illuminating his features as he drove past each one. Sensing your stare, he glanced over to you, only causing you to get flustered and look away. He let out a small laugh and grabbed your hand with his free one, holding it for the rest of the ride.

You watched the number of street lights decrease as beomgyu approached an upward hill.

“Where are we?” You questioned.

“We’re almost there,” he replied, holding your hand tighter for reassurance.

After another 5 minutes, beomgyu stopped the car and stepped out. Once again going over to your side, opening the door and offered you a hand which you gladly accepted. A chivalrous move, one of the many reasons you loved him.

You hopped out of the car and realised he had brought you to a cliff that overlooked the city. The majestic view of the skyline appeared with startling beauty. There wasn’t a cloud in the star-speckled sky. A half-moon hovered at the fringes of the luminous cityscape, where the red blinking lights of distance radio towers twinkling in the night. There were no trees or city planted blooms, just monoliths of concrete soaring out of the sidewalk in an exact grid pattern. At night it was beautiful in it's own way, so many lights.

You couldn’t help but stare, mouth left slightly agape as you took in the breathtaking view infront of you. Meanwhile, beomgyu was busy taking in a different view, to him, just as beautiful and amazing, you. He loved how the area around you lit up when you were happy or excited. Your mere presence alone enough to light up an entire room.

Flashing him a smile and a light giggle, you wrapped your arms around his neck and held him close. “How did you find this place?”

“Hmm, i just suddenly remembered how much i loved this place when i was younger and figured ill bring you here too,” he replied, trying to return the smile. But you knew him better than that, you knew that behind the smile there was still something on his mind.

“Come on.”

With that, he snaked an arm around your waist, leading you to a bench that sat underneath a tree, a single street light used to light up the entire place. The entire scene seemed to come straight out of your favourite romance movie. To be completely honest, you would be surprised if out of the blue, beomgyu broke into song.

There was absolutely no one else there. To think such a beautiful site would be filled with people, but i guess not. It was a secluded place and you were pretty glad that you and beomgyu could enjoy this alone. Just you, him, the night sky and the city lights. How could it get any better?

You both sat in silence for a little while. Beomgyu had his arm around you as you laid on his shoulder. He even wrapped you up in his jacket, knowing you forgot to bring your own. It wasn’t a particularly chilly night, but he still didn’t want to risk the possibility of you catching a cold. In that moment, everything felt perfect. But there was still a nagging feeling at the back of your head.

You sat up to look beomgyu in the eyes and asked, “gyu, are you really alright? Something’s been feeling off the entire night. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but im just worried. And you know you can tell me anything right?”

He sighed, a small smile tugged at his lips. “I really can’t hide anything from you, can i?” He stated, holding you tighter, resting his head on yours.

“Well,” he started, “i guess these few months of living in this city, away from my family, is just starting to get a bit lonely and overwhelming. I’m here chasing my dreams. But i just feel like the more i give my heart to this city, one day, she’s just going to break it.”

You listened as beomgyu poured his heart out to you. You had no idea he left like this and it hurt you to the core. You felt horrible for not noticing sooner.

“Right now, this city’s got me chasing stars. She loves me now. But what if one day she decides to leave? It terrifies me to think i dont belong here anymore.”

You felt tears well up in your eyes as he spoke. It broke your heart to hear him say that.

“Gyu,” you spoke, lightly tapping his head so he would sit up.

You looked him in the eyes, “dont say that. You do belong here. And if you ever feel alone, dont. You have the boys and me. Ill never leave you. I love more than anything, you know that right?”

He nodded slightly, eye studying yours as you continued, “behind the dazzle of the city’s façade there existed this outpost of hell but Ill be right by your side. And if the city ever breaks your heart, ill be right here to pick it up.”

By this point a tear had rolled down your cheek, only to be swipped away by beomgyu’s thumb as he gently carassed your face. You pulled beomgyu into a hug while you snuggled into his chest. You stayed like this. Hearing the calm beating of his heart that matched your own. Your arms around him and his around you. Even though there was negatives about living in the busy city, you still loved it. Solely for the reason that this city brought him to you, the love of your life.

.

.

.

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Took me a while to write this cause i have like 5 other ideas drafted out :’) hope you like this!!

[husbandograveyard]

Hewwo Hazel uwu 🔫😀👾😭😜😳⏰😏🎆💓?

Hewwo Bas! The UwU is strong today  o(>ω<)o Thank you for your questions! 

🔫 - Fave canon arc? 

Thriller Bark. It made me laugh SO HARD. One piece is one of the few anime that genuinely makes me laugh out loud, usually im more of a “hmpft” blowing air out of my nose laught kinda gal, but one piece gave me a lot of joy and laughter, and mostly during thriller bark. Besides that, the fights and the general plot thickening and things coming together, and Zoro’s sacrifice all made this one of my top favorite archs! The pacing was very good as well, compared to, for example, Dressrosa. 

😀 - Most favorite Straw Hat?

aaaaaa don’t make me choose  This is very hard! The initial thought was Zoro because well it’s Zoro and most of his lines never fail to make me laugh. Robin is the one I admire most cause it’s the kind of lady idk if I wanna be her or be with her yknow? And Chopper also popped up because well.. he’s the absolute most adorable bean and I love him and his cuteness. 

I’m gonna conclude a tie between Zoro and Robin, and Chopper can be on their shoulders being adorable?   (´･ᴗ･ ` )

👾 - Fave villain?

Perona as far as she was an actual villain, her negative spooks are the best attack ever and no one can tell me otherwise. 

In terms of bigger antagonists, probably the Charlotte family? I’m counting them as one, just for now, since they are all super interesting and I like seeing them on screen more than ceasar or moria or doffy and 100000x more than friggin Blackbeard (Imagine me using the ‘dinkleberg voice’ whenever I say blackbeard).  Doffy is a good villain. But he makes me too mad so he only gets a flaminglemention and not the top spot ha. 

😭 - Saddest scene?

Just like one piece is the series that made me laugh he most, it’s also the one that made me cry the most. Almost embarrassingly much. I ugly sobbed for a few hours straight around Ace’s death. I was spoiled, I knew it was gonna happen, but I did not know how exactly, so ehm from impel down on, every scene they showed him I teared up at least. (oops).  BUT there was one other scene that made me cry a lot that I have to mention because I did not expect to cry for that moment. I knew about the time skip, I knew about the training, I knew they were gonna take some time off to get stronger. BUT I did not know how and when and the circumstances. The moment Kuma separated them, the agony and the helplessness. My heart. I could not take it. That was too sad. 

Honorable mentions for the Bellemere scene very early on and saying goodbye to merry. Just too many heartbreaking moments but I feel that’s what makes the series so nice, you need to get hurt sometimes in order to get more attached to characters. 

😜 - Funniest character?

Ehm. In terms of delivering hilarious one-liners and making me laugh while not actually being funny on purpose: Zoro. The dumb is too much and is hilarious. He says funny things while not being funny and there’s just too many peak comedy moments in him getting lost or ‘wanting to get made into a wax statue in this pose”. 

Luffy gets a mention in situational humor too because that dumbassery is hilarious as well. 

Other than that. Probably a tie between Usopp and Franky. It’s just so stupid, but the sheer simpleness of most of the humor makes it so easy to digest and look at! 

😳 - Any crushes?

Any? Many! ehm, to not make this answer a couple thousand words long, quickfire! Ace, he has the charisma, the feralness, the politeness and the freckles.  Shanks, he’s just the sweetest, sexiest mystery man who knows what his priorities are.  Sabo, all the feralness, less of the politeness, all of the cuteness. His smile can revive puppies.  Zoro: the Dumbassery, the muscles, the brutal honesty and that soff soff mossy hair.  Kid: again, the dumbassery, the rudeness while still caring for his bunch of misfits. I love me a good tulip.  Robin: The beauty, the grace, the humor, the fashion, the intellect. Again, dk if i want to be her or be with her.  Vivi: The courage, the love, the sweetness amongst the badassery, step on me princess.  Honorable mentions for Killer, A bunch of people showing up in Wano that I’ve only seen spoilers pop up for. And writing some character has had me reconsidering all the crushes all together. In conclusion: WHY IS EVERYONE IN ONE PIECE SO ATTRACTIVE??? safe for you Blackbeard honey, you could fall off a cliff and I’d applaud. 

⏰ - How long have you been into One Piece? 

Not that long at all. When I was 14? ish I started my anime journey. I watched 15-20? episodes of One Piece and hated it. Around that time one piece was somewhere in between 500-600 eps and I could not imagine ever catching up to that, especially since my strict parents limited my computer use to 3h a week. 

Then a friend really got into it I think about 5? years ago and kept talking about it and how it was actually good. I was starting to do an effort to watch all the ‘big’ and ‘must-see’ anime and promised myself I’d watch One Piece, eventually. 

Then this year at the end of October 2019 I actually started watching it. I had grown up a lot, and could now appreciate the anime way more for what it was? I fell in love and binged the entire thing in more or less six months with some small breaks in between for work, school, books, and other anime. Highly considering re-downloading so I can rewatch my favorite parts soon. My biggest problem is that once I love something, I go ALL IN and I will love everything about it and obsess. And thus this Tumblr was created as the hiatus started and I wanted something One Piece to keep me distracted. I eventually want to collect the manga but I now don’t have the space for it in my tiny room. 

😏 - Favorite scene? 

Sabo and Luffy reuniting! The reveal, the tears, the hug, and the ridiculousness of Luffy with the beard and all, just made it perfect. Absolutely loved it.

OH and Luffy punching the celestial dragon. The absolute energy in that scene made me grin like an idiot yet gave me goosebumps. Punch those slave-owning bitches luffy, thank you! 

🎆 - Something you can’t wait for??!! 

ALL of what is to come in Wano. I’ve been catching spoilers here and there and i just cannot wait! There’s gonna be so much reveals and new characters and comebacks and all the things I did not know I need in my life. 

And I would like some more reveals on Shanks and his crew since we literally know next to nothing about them, besides the fact that even the admirals seemed to be at least wary of their powers and I just really need to know. (or not, since mystery adds to the charm). 

I can’t wait for the abolishment of the government and the death/defeat of blackbeard (assuming that will happen at some point, a girl can dream). 

💓 - Which character do you relate to the most?

SO HARD. Hardest question. Ehm... Ace and Usopp I think? I struggle with family a lot, but I have a chosen family that I wouldn’t trade for the world. I am hella insecure, but I try my best most of the time and I am extremely loyal, even though I have no particular talents, I try and help here and there and hopefully can make some people happy that way! 

If you read all the way through here, thank you for coming to my Ted talk! It was so long  („• ֊ •„) but it was also so much fun  (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

[a-forgotten-spirit]

Azriel x Reader

Credit to Artists. 

Author Note: I’m sorry I'm slow at writing. I’m thinking of doing an Amren x Wendigo reader, anyone interested? You can find all chapters tagged under ‘lovers of shadow’. Also if any single one of you need something feel free to send me a message!

Tags: @alphaomegahybrid @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks @livlaughlove20 @klashmafia @tiasbandom​ @shane-knight @ourbooksuniverse @warning-fangirl-at-work @xxpapasfritasxx @shadowsingersxks @-im-fantastic- @kenzie-cold-greenkale @great-goddess-of-sin @judig92 @pugzzzz @mariamuses @salma-mohammad54

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Chapter 8

Y/N P.O.V Walking to the area where there was space I stretched my arms over my head and gazed over to see Cassian watching my movements. A couple of the other warriors came to watch the fight after all Cassian is the Commander and needs seven siphons making him the top dog weather the other Illyrians like it or not. I can't stand how the others act it’s disgusting. 

Twirling the knife in my hand the metal feeling cool against my skin, my nails made a clicking sound while I drummed them against the metal. Watching his muscles flex with each movement my eyes tracking them. 

Fighting did something to the brain, making it more alert and focused. Some couldn't leave that state once submerged, I was one of them. I never stopped fighting whether it be a physical fight or a mental one, I never stopped. I did try, I honestly did but growing up to be a ruler it felt as though it was woven into my genetics. My first war was brutal and I lost many friends, I was never quite the same after that and even I noticed. I changed little by little every day on the battlefield. I would maim and kill with no remorse or guilt, I don't think those closest to me ever got over that. The way war changed me. I tried to stay out of fighting and war after that but I couldn't, taking a toll on my mind and body I worry one day I won't be able to come back. 

"Are we fighting or what" Cassian smirked and my eyes narrowed in on him, it was an addiction. One I lusted after, feeling skin beneath my fingers of a foe. I craved this. 

My body moved with no hesitation getting to his form and sending a closed fist directly into this sternum. Hearing the gasp of breath come from his mouth but originating from his lungs. Recovering quickly a fist came at me sending my body into a backward flip ending only a few meters away. Circling each other slowly small piece of dirt crunched beneath my shoe. Swinging the knife between my fingers I watched him. The way his wings fluttered and muscles flexed. I monitored each millimetre of movement. His body came hurtling for my own a closed fist wanting to hit my face. My hand raised to catch his fist and with a few gasps from the crowd and a wide eyes shocked expression from Cassian. I flipped him on his back hitting the ground with a thud. 

I looked down at him but I only then noticed it was hazy. My vision was not clear or that I could see, no it was hazy and uneven. I could make out the figures but not the details. Slowly they cleared and I was dizzy for only a second, shaking my head and looking to Cassian who was looking at me in worry and concern. He got up from the ground and I could hear muffled words, one of the warriors watching and him. 

"Y/N look at me, what happened. What's wrong" I could only just make out Cassian's words, it was as though I was underwater. I watched him walk closer and seem to give me a once over to look for visual injuries. 

I stood for a moment hearing the whispers of my people "They are coming" I whispered and I threw myself over Cassian as I felt the ground shake, I felt something fly past me and called out “Get the others. Now” within a few seconds, I could feel the shadows around me. 

The ground shook again and I fell Cassian catching me as I did. It was forceful and shook the camp, Illyrians were running around collecting weapons and other devices. Flying into the air and calling out that they were firing things at us. No one was hurt so far and I rushed down the bond seeing Azriel was all right. Grabbing Cassian’s hand I dragged him to where the others were my men guiding me through the least destructive path. Getting to the others I let go of Cassian’s hand and yelled “What are they firing” 

“They are using the Cauldron to boost the power of large boulders” Rhysand called out “The fight begins now” with that his wings spread and he flew into the air Cassian and Azriel the following suit. I saw Mor and turned to her. 

“Watch Feyre I’ll watch the boys” with a nod from her and I grabbed Amren’s hand “You’re with me” she nodded as we ran hand and hand through the forest. Once out the fight was loud and destructive, a sword came from the ground and I handed it to Amren getting my own. “I’ll watch your back you watch mine” she nodded and we began to fight. She wasn’t in the best fighting clothes but we will make do with what we have. I trusted her with my life and she did I.

Going straight forward I sliced hunters and watched as some got dragged into the depths of the Earth shadows draping the field if an inkpot had fallen over. Shadows grabbing Illyrians and pulling them to the sides to not get hit, it was indeed an eventful fight. We were winning losing some of the Illyrians but still winning nonetheless, a few casualties were to be expected. Shadows jumped from the ground but what I saw was not what I was expecting as I see one get cut and fall his skin returning to one of a flesh body and my falling my eyes wide at the scene.  

“Amren they knew my people would be here” I whispered my voice shaking as I stood still soldiers moving around me. She saw it too as did a few others so with a growl and my body sprinting I began to run through the hunters as though they were merely butter, how dare they hurt my people. It wasn’t long until the Hunters and Hybern began to flee I was watching them my breathing heavy, eyes narrowed and my sword drenched in the crimson liquid of their fallen. 

I stood in front of everyone my body shaking as the bodies of my people were brought to me, thirteen in total, my family, my children. I dropped to my knees in front of them and covered my mouth. My people gone, thirteen taken from this world because I thought they would be fine because I didn’t predict the consequences. Their blood is on my hands, I could hear the chatter behind me and then someone dropped beside me. 

“We will get revenge little shadow” Amren whispered and hugged my side, I saw my people bodies laid out in front of me some eyes were still open, blood dripping from their gashes. I stood Amren letting go and I walked forward as my people rose from the ground turning into their human forms, no one spoke as I kneeled and sighed out trying not to let my sadness fall down my face. 

“How” one whispered as I kneeled to a young woman inspecting her gash, I ran my hand over the wound and hissed pulling my hand back. 

“Jutyius Flower” I whispered and looked to my bodyguards in shock, “I thought it died out over a thousand years ago” I looked to these thirteen people their lives taken from something of a myth, no longer folklore. 

“It is” I heard I didn’t know who, my mind was running a hundred miles an hour and I turned to Amren who was older than anyone here looking to her for an answer. 

“He has the Cauldron but no one should know you exist unless there is a spy of sorts” her eyes narrowed the smoke seeming to move faster in swirls like ocean waves crashing against the rocks of a cliff. “He must have made some, you only need one, coat your weapons and your army fall” she whispered and I turned to my people. 

“We will send them” I breathe my eyes beginning to water. “Send them off as they wished. We all loved them and now we will see them off. Let them float in the depths” I whispered and stood. I looked back seeing the boys and their looks of fear as I looked to my people. “Boys can I please have the way” I whispered but I knew they heard me. Within a second they were in the air a shadow cast over and I breathed out. 

I never thought I would have to do this to one of my own but if the time came I would do this to the boys they had asked me too after I showed them the place. I raised my hands the bodies floating into the air as my people circled and then we fell into the ground. We carried them flying through the abyss of darkness. I heard cries and whimpers as we did, we flew until everyone had stopped crying it was hours and then we reached the depths. Looking back we pushed them off as they sunk their bodies being engulfed by the abyss. We stood everyone swirling around the depths and then with a sigh and a wave of my hand we left going back to the Illyrian camp. I rose from the ground my eyes close to crying. I walked into the tent pushing the flaps open and I walked in seeing Amren sitting with Varian on his lap, Amren jumped up running to me and throwing her arms around my neck and bringing my body as close to hers as she could, I broke down all my feeling becoming too much for me to handle. 

I couldn’t breathe I lost my people, it may have only been a few but it was enough to fracture my whole life. My body was shaking as I cried my crying turns into sobbing, Amren kept me in her arms as I stood there all my emotions falling into the Earth. I don’t think I hadn’t cried like this since Azriel since he left. This was all too much for my heart to take. Thirteen people I let die, thirteen people, I could’ve saved if I wasn’t reckless, thirteen people I let fall. Thirteen of my people, of my family.

“Shhh love it’s ok” she whispered and hugged me tighter. “They are safe. I can feel it” I knew what she is, her true self. I knew everything about her and she had seen my worst self. Amren came to visit me and I loved her with all my soul her visits stopped because she couldn't bear seeing me the way I was when Azriel had left. 

“How. I thought it was extinct” I whispered and hugged her tighter. Her small frame hugging my chest as I sat my head on her own. 

“There is someone here giving information, who I do not know. The boys are going to find them” she moved to grab my face in her hands “Y/N” she paused her eyes swirling with locked power “I can feel they are safe and happy” I nodded and let her go as she did I.

I looked up and shook my head “I apologise, Varian, this isn’t my best look” I tried to smile but it came up short. 

“No need to apologise. Amren was worried for you so we waited” His smile reached his eyes. I was glad Amren had found Varian she deserved happiness, she was amazing. 

“What are the plans” I looked back to Amren her eyes falling once I met her own. “I'm not too sure. It was a shock and we lost quite a few we will need to re-think our strategies and then attack or plan for another assault” her voice was always so mystical, as though magic swirled in her words dripping in power and hidden feeling of revenge. “We will make them fall. I promise” her eyes narrowed and I nodded in agreement. 

“Are the boys hurt I didn’t even think to check” letting the air from my lungs I breathed out my hand raising and running through my hair, they were alive and they were standing so nothing serious if anything at all. 

“A few scratches and a little slice to a wing bone but nothing dramatic” I nodded and breathed out. “They will be fine. Will you” she asked leaning forward and grabbing my hands in her own. 

“No” I whispered honestly. Shaking my head as I felt the tears well up again I pushed my emotions back and breathed my eyes moving to the floor “No I will not. I didn’t plan for this and I should have” 

“You could not have known” she sighed and gripped my hands “It is good to see you again Y/N. Your people are now safe and the thirteen that passed are safe and happy they died protecting you and the people you care about” she smiled and I nodded knowing she knew more about death then I. 

I nodded once more. We sat down and spoke for a while until the boys came back and told me the news they couldn’t find who it was, all I could do was a nod as I sat on the bed next to Amren and across from the boys. I loved them all so dear. I couldn’t live with myself if any of them were to get hurt. 

I didn’t eat that night, I couldn’t bring myself too and with a smile to them, I made my way back into my home, looking around I got undressed and had a shower. I needed to wash the grime and disgust for myself off of me, I had scrubbed my skin until it was red. You couldn’t tell if you cried while having a shower. Once done I sighed, dried and got dressed going to bed with Azriel behind me cuddling into my back. I didn’t sleep, I couldn’t his breathing was slow and even he had fallen asleep as I laid in place looking to the window across from me and flashes of the deads faces rang in my head though Amren’s words did comfort me to no end. I was glad for her and I loved her more than anything for allowing me to know they were safe and happy. 

The morning came and I left the bed dressing and walking out with a smile to a still sleeping Azriel, I didn’t make it far. I looked to see Cassian who looked to me, I shook my head knowing his questions and made my way to the food area. Grabbing a slice of bread I picked at it as I walked around and in the end threw the leftover bread into a nearby bush for the animals to have. While I was walking my mind wandered and I started to panic. I couldn’t breathe, so I ran.

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Chapter 9

[ad1thi]

avengers endgame

this film ruined me

don’t get me wrong 

i loved the film

but it ruined me

i don’t know how to function in a world where tony stark is gone

i genuinely don’t

i’m not ready for a marvel cinematic universe where he isn’t there anymore

but i just

i needed somewhere to write down how i feel about this film

so here it is:

--

(spoilers under the cut)

--

(sorry guys i couldn’t help myself)

--

--

thoughts about the film in (mostly) chronological order:

i said this ages ago and it was very satisfying that carol saved tony. and i love tony and nebula’s soft friendship so much and i wish we could’ve seen more of it

the naked happiness and surprise on nebula’s face when tony says that she won makes me cry so much, because she’s so used to always losing and here is this man who she’s never met before who is completely okay w her winning (her own sister wasn’t okay w her winning)

i love that carol saved tony, but i hate that rhodey wasn’t the first person to get to tony. don’t get me wrong- my stevetony heart jumped out when steve ran up to him and wrapped his arms around him, but a huge visceral part of me wishes that it had been rhodey

i hated seeing tony that thin. i know that it was necessary and it fits, but it broke my heart

i loved the continuity of this film. tony has been saying for years that there’s a bigger threat out there and they all dismissed him as paranoid and now this bigger threat came and killed half the universe and tony? tony almost died in space. the anger and pain in that scene, the way he singles out steve and thrusts the arc reactor on him before collapsing, that scene gives me vindictive pleasure

i also really appreciate clint’s arc in this. i feel like a rogue merc assassin who singles out mobsters that survived the snap that claimed his family is very in character for him

scott and cassie’s reunion made my heart soar

and i should say; this film is the first avengers film where the characters give tony the respect he deserves

the fact that they first turn to tony for help; the fact that neither steve nor natasha try to pressure him or manipulate him into helping; the fact that steve trusts his plan almost immediately; thats the deference tony deserved from film 1 and i’m glad he finally got it 

this film gave steve a personality- yall have no idea how long i’ve waited for steve rogers to have a personality. this is the first film where we see steve rogers instead of captain america(TM) and it makes me sad that its taken that long

THOR’S BEER BELLY IS EVERYTHING. that is how normal people (and asgardians apparently) mourn

but i have to say, this film didn’t acknowledge loki at all and i think thats so shitty given that ragnorak paved for their relationship

i wish there had been some acknowledgment that thor was mourning loki as well

like him stopping in front of loki’s prison for a second, or him mentioning his brother in passing

this film found me asgardian family trope baited and i don’t appreciate that

i wish we’d had more rhodey&nebula scenes and more tony&nebula scenes, but i am happy with what i had

i have to say though, the film script was very well done everything tied together really well and nothing seemed particularly forced or out of place

NATASHA DYING THOUGH

that 

that broke me

i mean, it makes sense, since natasha and tony were the first 2 avengers introduced to the mcu and so they should be the ones to die (in this house we don’t acknowledge the incredible hulk as a film) but that still took me by surprise

i wish they’d done it differently though

i wish clint and natasha hadn’t fought, i wish that clint would’ve walked with her to the end of the cliff, held her close and then just let go

i feel like the fight cheapened it, and tried to add this shock effect that just didn’t exist

clint has a family, i always knew it was going to be natasha

steve, tony, thor- i was prepared fo; but natasha blindsided me

speaking of steve and tony

there were so many stevetony moments in this film?

tony yelling at steve after he comes back from space

tony quipping w steve 5 years later “i miss that giddy optimism” 

steve appreciating that tony is risking his daughter’s life for this hell mission- and acknowledging that

“do you trust me?” “i do”

ALSO TONY SPENDS HIS TIME STARING AT STEVE’S ASS i gotta say when you’re staring at another fella’s ass it means you’re gay them’s the rules

BEFORE I FORGET

THAT SCENE WITH HOWARD

im in 2 minds about it

because

don’t get me wrong; i hate howard stark

but this is about tony

and i think there’s something very cathartic about the fact that tony got to see his dad as the person people said he was, instead of the man who abused him all his life

and idk i feel like he needed that

i’ve gotta be honest though, i feel robbed of an edwin jarvis and tony scene. edwin jarvis was the man that raised tony, not howard- and i so wish he could’ve gotten a chance to talk to the man one last time

one of the biggest losses in the MCU is when tony loves JARVIS, the AI that’s been with him through everything; and i genuinely feel like it would’ve been more appropriate for him to talk to Edwin rather than H*ward

the irondad and spiderson feels jumped out in this film too

i genuinely believe that this film was the penultimate in tony’s arc; because everybody else is fighting for the casualties they can’t see but tony is fighting the casualty he did see

tony stark is fighting for peter parker and peter parker alone and you can not change my mind 

everybody else is avenging the world, tony stark is avenging his son

which is why i adore that scene in the final battle where tony cuts peter off mid sentence to give him a hug and i just -

tony stark’s death ruined me

it genuinely broke my heart

and i think its very “full circle” that he says ‘i am iron man’ and that rhodey is the first person to reach him after he uses the stones, that pepper says “its okay we’ll be okay you can rest now” 

that line is so important because tony was fighting for them. for his spiderkid, for his wife, for his bestfriend, and he can rest knowing that he saved their lives

speaking of the final battle though, i genuinely don’t appreciate the implication that steve is worthy enough to wield Mjolnir

idk 

something about that rubs me wrong

and as much as i love steve’s ending scene and the fact that the shield goes to sam (bucky letting sam go see old!steve?? that moment between them?? i love that) i genuinely believe that the film should’ve ended with tony’s funeral

i do not appreciate that wendy bitchimoff got her own scene because i do not appreciate wendy bitchimoff

that should’ve been clint and steve; because natasha and steve’s friendship is literally one of the only good things to come out of steve’s arc in the mcu

anyway

the film should’ve ended with morgan asking for cheeseburgers 

because this mcu belongs to tony stark

and this film is the only avengers film where tony is given his due

and it is only the film where he dies

so excuse me

while i go cry

--

[sailorswelcome]

WOWZA

tagged by @hi-im-eilidh thanks mom ur the loml and i would Absolutely die for you. also in writing this i just discovered grammarly has a tumblr extension. hmmmm.

what’s the smell of your shampoo?

I wash my hair..... like once every two weeks? bc i have so little of it and it doesn't need to be washed ever. the shampoo i keep at school is rosemary and the stuff i have at home is lemon, but it took so much effort to remember this bc i just never wash my hair bc im disgusting.

what’s your aesthetic?

luckily for me i have a pinterest board called aesthetic with 2.6k pins so i have a VERY clear idea for this. lumberjack shit, “the north” in general; ice and woods and glaciers and mountains and stuff. museums and classical things; art history and rome and greece bc thats just my shit. coffee shops, pretentious looking people smoking cigarettes, warm socks, log cabins, standing in the snow, words written in paintbrush over photos of landscapes, the moon, the sea, the desert. 

what’s your favorite time of the day and why?

between 2 and 3 am bc i am horrible at sleeping. the light is always very beautiful then no matter where you are idk why. it is nice to look out the window then or take a walk or sit in the hall when everyone else on your floor is asleep. its just always very quiet and beautiful. 

what do you most like about the beach?

GOOOOOOOD I LOVE THE BEACH uhhhhhh hgngngngngn i like it at night and in the winter and i like to look at it from on top of a cliff bc i love the way you can see every dip and sandbar because the color of the water changes... i love when its really clear in the early spring and you can see the seals after they dive underwater. I love the beach at night and swimming at night and the moon's reflection on the water and i love when it gets REALLY cold some winters and parts of the harbor will actually freeze and you get these huge chunks of ice washing up. I love when big chunks of driftwood wash up and you can use them as benches. I love the beach a lot can u tell. 

what do you worry about constantly?

dark question op! i worry about Everything but mostly that I’ll never be happy, and that i’m annoying and a bad friend. everything else is just stemming from that.  

what is a song you’ve cried to before?

i’ve cried to almost every single song i know but the number one hard hitters are I Need My Girl by The National, Lakeside View Apartments Suite by The Mountain Goats, and I’d Rather Be With Them by Marika Hackman. Those last two are both hit me with their lines about being really sad and throwing up which is just a trope that gets me I guess. oofa. 

what are some relaxing tips for your followers?

i have never once in my life been relaxed but i would say mixing up the ways that you relax? having a really consistent routine to relax has never worked for me bc it stops working after a while and i just autopilot through it. talk to a friend, play some music, draw, go for a walk, take a nap on the floor instead of your bed, take a bath. journal, drink some water, eat something. try something new every time depending on what is stressing you out. go with the flow dudes.

what are some things that make you tear up?

like. all music as i said i have cried at Every song. also a lot of movies make me tear up. idk this is a bad question bc i just start crying sometimes for no reason i think my eyes just do that. i was hanging out with a friend one time and my eyes just started leaking and he was like hey whats wrong? and i was like no idea! its a mystery to us both

what is your favorite from each sense?

sight - sunlight falling on the floor through windows  

smell - hey this is going to sound so weird but im OBSESSED with the smell of the chemicals they put in air conditioners and freezers. its my favorite smell in the world. i dont know why i just smell a refrigerator and nut

taste - this is honestly the first thing i could think of but on christmas eve i was at @hi-im-eilidh ‘s house and her mom made biscuits and like holy shit

sound - catholic boys choir hitting a high note in a big cathedral 

touch -  holding hands im gay 

what is an alternative reality you’ll like to live in?

noir detective novel where i am very cool and i have 20/20 vision and a gun and i can monologue

what are some troubles you face on a daily basis?

i am always stressed and lonely and i have no money for gas as i drive a pickup truck. also my friends who i love dearly always SPILL FOOD IN MY CAR, AND DONT PICK IT UP, IS THIS YOUR FUCKING BEDROOM I DONT THINK SO CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF GGOD

what is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?

there is this post-apocalyptic book called After The Snow and i don't remember much of it but i know the protagonist was this boy and he had a cave full of animal skulls that he like worshipped and talked to and i just remember that made me really sad bc everyone thought he was weird for having any sort of remaining spirituality after the world had ended but like god he was doing so well it made me big sad 

say something to your followers:

sorry this post was so fuckign long and depressing! i promise i am usually not this sad! these are just cursed questions. also hey... i love u all.. thanks for putting up with me 

im tagging @brushite bc i love her and want her to suffer thru answering these 

[sigurdjarlson]

Replies! Woo! super late i know

highpriestessbriyanna said: This is always my reaction. Like “yes. keep talking. Wait.. did you just PUN at me again.. IMA KNIOCK THAT FUCKER OFF A CLIFF” 

IM 99.9% sure someone has knocked khadgar off a cliff before and there’s an 80% chance it was because of a pun

owmyeyeballs said: You ok, friendbeast?

just tired and in a bit of a slump but i’ll be okay. thank you <3

owmyeyeballs said: Know that feel…

my poor girl! hasn’t she been through enough.. (*evil brain sounds*) 

skullkind said: congrats!

Thank you!! It was the shitty demon hunter boots but it’s better than nothin! 

lovesdaryl said: Feel better soon. *hugs*

thank you <3 *hugs*

skullkind said: me with illidan like once a week

same tbh

casterlycosplay said: Very relatable content

i wish i could say its the first time i’ve teared up while thinking about khadgar..but its not

apaladinfailure said: this is the most relatable thing you’ve ever posted

Khadgar..such a tearjerker huheuheuh he cries while he wanks 

anzareveange said: im giving him all my love.

same. i want blizz to let me hug him so bad like PLEASE

skullkind said: hey !! im skull and ive been following you for a while and think youre super chill! i llove ur wow posting ! you dont need to follow back but i would love to chat sometime or stuff ^^ 

hello!!1 :D thank you for following. I’m glad you enjoy them. Feel free to contact me anytime! I’d love to chat

shadowphoenixrider said: Yeah, I remember her sneaking around the Twilight Highlands in Cata.

That sounds like her <3

ship-garbage-pile said: ^^ yeah she’s one of the quest givers order hall

I need to level my rogue..

lovesdaryl said: I might have mentioned this, but we went to ZG before it was patched out and I actually won the tiger and gave it to my husband as a gift. He looks magnificent on it. :-)

this is honestly the sweetest thing ever

anzareveange said: sleeping with the enemy…

Khadgar and Gul’dan have some serious unresolved sexual tension lbr

owmyeyeballs said: I love reading your responses to these. Thanks for putting up with my nonsense! XD

I love answering them <3

a-little-squirrely-sunshine said: My cat is named David Bowie, and depending on how I phrase things I get the best odd looks from my friends.

That’s great like i cna just imagine..DAVID BOWIE WHAT DO YOU  HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH sdkgkdfh

owmyeyeballs said: These two just keep on breaking my heart…

they break mine too ugh. My poor babies

shadowphoenixrider said: I’d vote, but I like quite a few and I don’t think they’d all fit in this text box. I might…steal one idea though.

Steal as many as you’d like and I’d still love to hear which ones you think i should write! 

doitsuki said: yes genn is lower in the hierarchy

he’s..the omega

ghoulghoulneighbor said: But they said no homo while they did it……….

blizzard could make a cinemeatic where khadgar and medivh have explicit sex and they’d still be like.. “no homo tho” 

shadowphoenixrider said: Eggs-llecent idea, Archmage.

BLOCKED

anzareveange said: take all my dollars blizzard! hire him for the movie!

I won’t accept anyone else as old khadgar now. Someone get me into contact with George

owmyeyeballs said: i love them!!!!

My fierce saber queens <3

apaladinfailure said: omg that it so sweet im crying

i cried a lil while writing it so don’t feel bad hehheh

owmyeyeballs said: Oh dear lord, that was adorable and sad… someone protect these sweethearts!

protect Khadgar and Jaina 2k17

shadowphoenixrider said: Ow my heart! If you’ll excuse me, I’ll just lie down…right here…

i had to do the same after writing it tbh

owmyeyeballs said: Sweet, precious babies!

i just want to hold them both

shadowphoenixrider said: *chinhands* These are lovely, you know.

thank you so much!! 

shadowphoenixrider said: I’m not quite sure my heart should be hurting this much in the morning, but it is! 

Hohoho there’s a lot more where that came from!

ghoulghoulneighbor said: How dare u. This is some 10/10 pain, would cry again.

Same tbh. I made their parents and I was like shit..i love them  

ghoulghoulneighbor said: I knew Illidan was the daddy kink type, I just knew it

YOU ARE NOT PREPARED...FOR ILLIDADDY’S DICK

ghoulghoulneighbor said: what have I started.

*points at medivh* Medaddy.

*points at Gul’dan* Gul’daddy

anzareveange said: Many races dont have orphans or child models. i want to see a tauren child, or a dwarf or a gnome child.

there are nightborne children models so blizz really doesn’t have an excuse anymore. I want children models for all the races, blizz. Give me this now

shadowphoenixrider said: I’d like to inform you that Khadgar is introduced in the book Tides of Darkness with a youngster in one arm and holding the hand of another. We don’t call him Dadgar for nothing! ^^

OH NO!!! This is so sweet I really need to read Tides of Darkness...and Beyond the Dark Portal

anzareveange said: “Put that thing back where it came from” no, it can be really painfull, also the mother is dead, so no.

maybe illidan doesn’t know where babies come from 

ghoulghoulneighbor said: you’d think his hunters would be expecting this kind of thing by now tho

very true. new recruits learn very quickly not to stand behind Illidaddy. He’s very dramatic and very passionate. when he gets excited he can’t control his wings

shadowphoenixrider said: I’d like to add that if you put a pet bed down, it’ll attempt to ‘sit’ in it. Reduced my bf to wheezing laughter when he saw it.

FDHDfhd I KNOW ISN’T IT GREAT. You make him jump through the flaming hoop too. 

It catches on fire sometimes and runs away...oops 

shalar0s said: I’m dying over the “well that’s new.” Oh my god I can’t breathe.

nothing surprises Moroes anymore. Nothing. 

unidentified-starman said: see, kids? this is what happens when you party (& clean up the library) too much

Ben!Khadgar? Before Medivh.

Game!Khadgar? After Medivh.

Medivh is a helluva drug

spicymulligan said: Boy howdy ur gonna LOVE Glee then

this is the worst thing you’ve ever said to me

ghoulghoulneighbor said: The ONLY way to treat your giant fuzzy murdercat

she loves her giant fuzzy murdercats <33

owmyeyeballs said: I want to hug Dilly too!

She needs a hug tbh

apaladinfailure said: this is entirely possible with genn greymane

SOMEONE DREW THAT!! I don’t know where it is but it was his wife riding on his back into battle

derp-mage said: It would have been glorious and now I’m mad he didn’t go full on worgen run

blizzard let us ride Malfurion in his regular form

WAIT NO

owmyeyeballs said: KHADGAR DO NOT FUCK THE SKULL

too late. he hurt himself rip

unidentified-starman said: it’ll look even more ridiculous when he appears in the warcraft movie sequel or smth (i hope it gets made sometime). he’ll probably be at least half cgi (or a man flapping his arms in a motion capture suit). look at cgi malfurion go

I am excited and dreading the day they add Malfurion to the films. Because he’s either going to look awesome or fuckin terribly hilarious (more likely tbh) and I can’t wait. (SHIT...motion capture behind the scene shit is so great) 

shadowphoenixrider said: pffft that second one. AFAIK Khadgar asplodes everyone in Kilrogg’s vision, but I don’t think it’s Mythic difficulty? Could be wrong.

hmm i just did the Kilrogg fight on mythic on both Diily and Alaluria and didn’t get any visions. Is there something I have to do to trigger it? (i will cry)

ghoulghoulneighbor said: Your tag said wing burrito and I thought of a burrito stuffed with chicken wings, with the horns and blindfold. …I’ll see myself out.

*muffled sobbing from the bathroom* I was not prepared for these burritos..

shadowphoenixrider said: Don’t apologise, I love hearing these.

you’re an angel. thank you <3

carlyrosk said: That’s how I am too oh my god. That cinematic crushed both me and my Deathlord! I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on Genn! He’s been through SO much, and he’s just snapped with Varian’s death.

Genn’s reaction to Varian’s death in the cinematic kills me every time. Genn kills me. My poor old wolf man </3

[darrycurtises]

for the 'send me a character' thing - Darry, Evie, Cherry, Mark Jennings and BJ Jackson (if you haven't read all the SE books, don't worry. and tag/send this to changesxnight when you're done cause she loves you)

(wow i wonder who couldve sent this cryptic anon) i love u too britt

Darry

First impressions? 

listen,,, i was such a bab when i first read this book,, and i 100% sided w pony and so my first impression of darry was just >:(

Impression now? 

if i was to write down my full impression of darry i honestly think i’d give yall like a 50000 word essay in chicago style but suffice it to say that DARRY IS AMAZING and a million percent hes the most selfless person in the whole world and honestly the only NORMAL ONE like y’all can stan soda all u want but he still eats jelly and eggs im not About it

Favorite Moment? im gonna pick three because im an actual trash can,,, 

There was an uneasy silence: Who was going to start it? Darry solved the problem. He stepped forward under the circle of light made by the street lamp. For a minute, everything looked unreal, like a scene out of a JD movie or something. Then Darry said, “I’ll take on anyone.”

iconic

“I’ll be okay,” I said wearily. “How come you never worry about Sodapop as much? I don’t see you lecturin’ him.“ 

“Man,”- Darry grinned and put his arm across Soda’s shoulders - “this is one kid brother I don’t have to worry about." 

Soda punched him in the ribs affectionately. 

"This kiddo can use his head." Sodapop looked down at me with mock superiority, but Darry went on: "You can see he uses it for one thing - to grow hair on.” He ducked Soda’s swing and took off for the door. 

Two-Bit stuck his head in the door just as Darry went flying out of it. Leaping as he went off the steps, Darry turned a somersault in mid-air, hit the ground, and bounced up before Soda could catch him.

ADORABLE

“Darry, do you think they’ll split us up? Put me in a home or something?" 

He was silent. "I don’t know, baby. I just don’t know.”

what a Dad™

Idea for a story?

ok so i would die for any story that fleshes out the relationship darry had w his dad like im living for happy, stress-free, younger darry

Unpopular opinion? 

i don’t really know that there are any opinions i have about him that would be considered unpopular? r there still people who claim he’s abusive or are they like a cryptid now 

Favorite relationship? 

darry x happiness

Favorite headcanon? 

it’s one of mine it’s that his fave music is swing he is the ultimate Dad™

Evie

First impression? 

“what’s evie short for? evelyn? evangeline? e v a n e s c e n c e.”

Impression now?

*banging pots and pans together* AN EVIE NOVEL!!!! EVIE NOVEL!!! BLEASE

Favorite moment?

Did they cry when their boys were arrested, like Evie did when Steve got hauled in, or did they run out on them the way Sylvia did Dallas?

this is the only line in the book where it talks about her doing something? like the only other lines are “we’re going to a game” and “she, along with the other rarely mentioned females in the book, are greasy like us, and the only girls we have a chance with.” so, se hinton, step up ur girl-writing game, it weak

Idea for a story?

i feel like she and sylvia would be rlly interesting together id love to see them like as tag-team scammers

Unpopular opinion?

evie is soft,,,, she is not like wild child sylvia (that’s why i feel like they’d be a good team,like sylvia gets her out on the town, evie stops her from stealing a stop sign or something)

Favorite relationship?

i believe in evie x steve i really do,,

Favorite headcanon?

EVIE PICKS WILDFLOWERS AND DRIES THEM, AND THEY CREEP STEVE OUT HE SAYS ITS LIKE THE ADDAMS FAMILY HOUSE BUT SHE THINKS THEYRE PRETTY

Cherry

First impression? 

an actual literal goddess come to Earth, better than we deserve, needs a solo trip to the beach

Impression now?

an actual literal goddess come to Earth, so much better than we will ever deserve, needs 30 solo trips to the beach

Favorite moment?

Dally came striding back with an armful of Cokes. He handed one to each of the girls and sat down beside Cherry. “This might cool you off." 

She gave him an incredulous look; and then she threw her Coke in his face. "That might cool you off, greaser. After you wash your mouth and learn to talk and act decent, I might cool off, too.”

i mean how could i pick any other moment,,,

Idea for a story? 

literally any story where she isn’t shipped with anyone let her and marcia go on a crosscountry roadtrip where they take pictures at the grand canyon where they’re like “falling off the cliff lol scared u!”

Unpopular opinion?

i’m not sure if this opinion is actually unpopular or not but she was well within her rights to refuse seeing johnny at the hospital?? like i know this is debated a lot but she didnt owe him anything, no matter how much we love him, she doesnt have to 

Favorite relationship? 

cherry x being true to herself (also a version of bob where he respects that she doesn’t like him drinking around her)

Favorite headcanon? 

i honestly haven’t seen that many cherry headcanons? where are they? im just gonna say i totally believe in her as a beach lady

Mark Jennings

First impression?

i loved this boy so much like you dont even understand. the only person in the book i liked more than mark was charlie (im still angry)

Impression now?

*ugly sobbing* hhe wa sjuust truin gto helpp oit brryonss momm,,.,,,

Favorite moment?

“How goes it?” I managed finally. “What’s the action like in here?”

“If I told you how it was in here,” he said, “you’d be sick.” There was a silence. Then, he continued. “I didn’t have to see you. I wanted to, though. I had to make sure.” 

“Make sure of what?”

“Make sure I hated you.”

Idea for a story?

An entire overhaul of the whole book where he doesn’t end up in jail, full of hate.

Unpopular opinion?

so i’m not 100% on what the general agreement is on mark, but my unpopular opinion is i understand where he was coming from. he was trying to make money for the household that took him in when his life fell apart, and bryon’s minimum wage job wasn’t cutting it, and he knew desperate times call for desperate measures. i don’t agree with it, but i get it, and for the 213537356623465752676th time, bryon could have talked to mark. they were close, and he might’ve been able to influence him, but he didn’t try.��

Favorite relationship?

hhhhh i appreciated the mother/son bond between him and bryon’s mom? i can’t remember a lot about the nuances of this book, but whatever.

Favorite headcanon?

i honestly don’t know. im just v sad about him and i want him to grow up to have as normal and happy a life as he can manage when he got out of prison.

BJ Jackson

i know nothing about this “”””bj jackson”””””. sounds like fake news to me.

i’m gonna let @changesxnight weigh in on this one, so sorry my love

THATS IT THANK U FOR REQUESTING BRITT SORRY IT TOOK TEN MILLION YEARS

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

My "cycle code speak"

I developed with Bestie to avoid eavesdropping from others.

We talk then change the subject then go back to,the subject then off topic and back.

Its specialised.

On a very long post readers will lose information.

So bestie and i would speak less about the most important topic but feel the most.

We were always in public or someone was "bugging" us.

So im delighted to see that y'all understand how it works. Snoop had to call y'all out and help y'all,understand how y'all been on auto save to save the Planet.

And have the information posted at the bottom for y'all to simple get it.

I knew exactly how he needed to tell y'all cause,Alex was telling me first thing when i woke up from sleep just now. I said "highlight the information above"

And he had Tree copy and paste the highlighted information in the order I wrote.

One reason people didn't catch onto how they were saving the world is that didn't matter. They were simply being human.

But i appreciate that Snoop went out of his time and went for y'all to make sure you understand why.

1 as a thank you and 2 to help us understand how humans actually are and make that very clear that humans aren't abnormal. We're normal!

So what the contact communications code is is just like you write 3 articles and then you merge them together keeping all the information in order. Then you hit each topic.

Now. Bestie and i when long time no see or in dangerous territory (lots of nosy aliens around to harm) we shuffled the articles so it would be out of order.

So it would be complex and a lot of silence at our public dinner table in a restaurant. While we ourselves minded the information to our hearts to reorder the information into an order. In silence and leaving gaps of space to know we did beginning and end.

Aliens in human form. Usually men would get pissed off and leave the restaurant and cause a scene. Then after then we would go back and do the cycle in order. Because we were safer.

So none of us are stupid. We just dont know what is going on

I can't help but conversation code it.

It isn't any different than the family going around the dinner table talking about their day.

I would do it with my Uncle Dad. Denise was too stupid to,follow along,instead getting bugged I would,talk after everyone talked. So Chris,would,talk,i would say 2-3 sentences about my day and then Nathaniel would say something and i would,say,how i was counter acting his actions. But not allow anyone,but humans to,understand.

Very serious issues needed slight clarification to my Uncle Dad after. He would double check,my safety. After dinner in,the living room

Meaning safe and,handled,I went to my room,first.,not,then,directly to,the living room.

So I don't know how to be uncoded.

Even,things I,write straight forward. End,in cliff hangers or some thing. A cliff hanger,is a code,for "more to,come"

I can't really change that. I'm just an extreme expert at communication.

With bestie and i it became a blood sport. Often she would arrive before me and find aliens she wanted kill. And i would watch her face of anger and wait and develop conversations that way. I would follow her lead.

Otherwise my goal was to keep aliens stupid and then watch them. They would be happy from our information. Information that hurt her and I. So they would stand and catch me looking and sit for safety. Thus notifying my protection detail of CIA agents and they would label my face under kill.

My eyes would narrow then when I looked back to bestie my eyes would open wider. A more comforting honest tell me honey what's going on face.

Then i would Alien stretch my soul ... Aliens thinking it was my skin. To notify "I'm still looking. They're going to die. 'This isn't my territory style'" which was mild to extreme torture and removing the kidnapped kids from extraterrestrial custody.

Bestie hated it. Because she put her life on hold instead of holding bee soulmate in her arms.

Those days i would fill the restaurant with the spirit of love. Usually my bestie would be having a super bad day. It depended where we sat. That was my auto cue.

When Tommy would see my soulmate stretch to order kills he became extremely sad. Because he would realize he could just killed Amanda.

But I would reassure him that wouldn't have worked. It would bad the world unstable due to alien attacks. We would just Moshe pit kill them all in the end after giving them a choice to live right an s rigid on their home planets.

So i would tell him "just see her" but shes married and so am I! "Be friends till the end. I have come to see her and you will, too. Invite him bestie over to you for a BBQ. Get drunk have fun just as we used to do over our house (or i would say at my house)" she would grab her phone and text he would say "maybe" and i would say "let's talk about your problems. Let him know you're struggling as much as him but in a different way" he would show up over her house as "enlisted to lighten to load" help her deal with her life stress.

Y'all don't know but shes been my only "irl" friend for over 10 years. My only friend. I've lived a normal sane life like many of you that have been kidnapped and loaded down under. And just regular people and most especially aliens that want to remain hidden.

People come and go But my life as friendship in real life has only revolved around her. I'm not ashamed to have only one friend. The rest of the time i spent with my soulmate. So I've been happy as can be as a POW.

This is how i know the world needs extreme help. My life sucks and i hate it. The same reasons my bestie hates hers. Because she can't be with her lover.

And family IRL.

Otherwise and because of that sad days For her became revenge kill days.

We could only kill extraterrestrials if they were criminals. The same as an evil human. It kept the balance and the world safe from alien invasions for revenge.

We thank Weck's restaurant in their unique location that used to be the Red Balloon in Los Lunas. Red Balloon was also a yummy restaurant to eat at.

But it was an alien establishment and i ordered humans to take it over. Thereby thus combining fate and history into a native New Yorker tounge that doesn't pronounce the letter R. from "Wrecked that alien bitch" to simply "Weck's"

Red Balloon was code word for "Alien Safe Here"

I made sure they understood they are not.

Most went down to Roswell from the Albuquerque metro area.

Those visiting "the moon" didn't know we had taken it over and visited freely. Those we killed because it was a criminal safety net - the Red Balloon. 99% of aliens going to eat had done something very wrong like kidnapping humans.

The CIA wait staff knew they could tell when Bestie was sad... So it was back to the wall where the bad alien was or back to the wall where I could see what was going on. The wait staff set us told us where to sit.

So i would switch with Bestie every so often to see what she saw. Because my neck pain prevented looking. Often it was "im fucking leaving she keeps looking at me!!"

Like a human looked at a human.

Which was delightful because it proved they knew they were wrong. "Oh my God that is so funny!!"

Usually I found the humor. Often Alex and Tommy would have "invisible dinner talk" and Alex would advise Tommy to basically romance surprise her. Just show up at the house and Alex would volunteer to oversee to help guide Tommy to allow John to be his friend. My bestie's husband.

In this way he could be Uncle in his daughter's life. Because that was what hurt the most.

So we took better care of them than we did ourselves as is obvious.

Our right. Our ruling.

This is why I rarely tell my own feelings. Because most of y'all would feel bad or sad or responsible for helping.

So now I can tell. Because now I've began the mass exercising of moshing our demons to sleep.

But I had to ensure each American was safe first and I had amnesia.

So I had to beat and destroy the strongest aliens on my own. Aliens stronger than me.

David and Goliath.

Except me "Go lie" I am goliath. Because that is my orders.

"Duh I've did" they told me. The weakling.

"Good" I'd say "let it continue. Disobey the 10 commandments. I can't stop you and that isn't my job any way"

My job is to kill. Force surrender. And destroy if they don't

I had to become an archangel. That was always a man's job. Always Alex's. No one but him has been an archangel until 2003 when Declan became one.

Then 2006 when Bestie did.

And now me and there are several others.

To honor bestie. Alex has given up the title of Archangel Michael.

Its a masculine form of her name and it would indicate they're lovers.

He has planned to enlist all his archangel titles under Archangel Gaberial. Gabriel is the masculine form. Spelling Gaberial without the -ia entitles it to be "for the woman". Me.

So no one shall name their sons Gabe. Gaberial or Gabriel or any spelling of such name. For men and hermaphrodite

However they shall be allowed to name their daughters and hermaphrodites "Gaberialla" in honor of me and in understanding he has already protected their right to live.

Any spelling. The above spelling notices "I am your Cinderella, Arch Angel Gaberial, I hereby dutify myself to your spirit to fight for the safety of all humans thereby all consequences shall be none."

When a child gets baptized that is what is said

Now consequences shall be none... Means eternal death to all alien invaders thus allowing earth to be free and clear from painful consequences caused by alien invasions.

Thus it is a choice a parent can not make.

"I am a Gaberialla" says a female voice. "I, too, am a Gaberialla" follows a deeper male voice.

This is allowed by Jesus.

$5 for who can answer "what does the term gaberialla replace in our new society?"

Here's your hint: 3 letter word

Thus at my Jesus Cult wedding. Many times "ahh boo!!" Startling and scary. Those of you that come to realize you've enjoyed fighting the alien nation will have the right to become an archangel Gaberial assistant. To follow many rules of the American Nation.

Because my soulmate has had issues in this lifetime to know who his friends are. Who has his back and who doesn't.

Many of our CIA we use Now will set to retire. Because i said to. Never will the skills or talent accumulated will to to waste. But its time to enjoy new jobs and new lives.

Not anytime soon. But eventually. For now the war must continue.

The spelling remains the same but it is pronounced "arc-Angel" a promise to provide the world with the rainbows the "arch-angels" have always dreamed of.

And also ark of thereby Noah whom is also me. Because we will all be Christianed upon an arch

I will with Tom, Alex and Andrew will bless the bestie to become the first female archangel in known existence in the 3 galaxies I've created with Alex.

Then she with Alex, Tommy, Frederick will then bless all the archangels into existence. Which will include me as we all bow to her feet Muslim style into prayer.

She is also the only known Full bloodied Scorpio on this planet. All the planets were perfectly aligned,,including the moon the night she was born. To be a 100% true and divine Scorpio.

So when you want to know more about her, google astrology sign SCORPIO.

And you will see how easy it was for us to devise the secret communication coded language that didn't beat Navajo code but was simply in time line as good as. She also as a reincarnate invented many codes throughout her 864,922,386,401 lives.

Like Candy she is one of my unknown daughters. Created from my spirit of war.

**Not Christina Hendricks aka Chandler - she is known from my womb in this lifetime. But another Candy. A Candy from the spirit of motherhood. A true 100% divine and perfection true Cancer. She is out of body. She too will be an archangel. Archangel Uril is Another name Alex will give up. Spelled Ariul. sounds like Aerial

To learn about her google the astrological sign Cancer. A video has been produced to know why her symbol is the crab. It was posted yesterday.

Her voice is in Charlie Brown indistinguishable due to the water. In the Muppet Babies the mom/nanny is also her. And in Loony Tunes the old gramma with the broom with Sylvester and Tweety.

Ariel is her learning about love. From me. Ursula. Its not based on a true story. It is the real story.

So I hope this has all made you pleased. Unworried for the future. And you resume your toilet paper gathering for current use and paper mache upon our return to land.

Toilet paper requires no glue unlike other paper. So it is perfect for paper mache dolls to create to burn while thinking of aliens.

Extraterrestrial are the biggest hoarders of them all.

So it will be all gathered and then given away since its already been bought from the factory repaid to the store for allowing purchases to be made easier from factories and then upscaled in pricing to pay for the religious experience of shopping.

Retail therapy is part of the True Jesus (me) religion.

Now please pray for my forgiveness and hope I can be with my true lover Soon.

Remember I got $5 on it that you read and understood what all I've just said.

[dmallpersonalblog-blog]

March 15 2019

Today was my first day of therapy. it was a nice change of events in my current headspace and a step in the right direction. For the longest time I was afraid to admit that I needed help. That maybe I really couldn't do everything alone or in private. 

After my session my first immediate response was to eat a cheeseburger, and damn do i regret that. Greasy food and all that doesn't settle with me and I had to put in double the time at the gym to burn off the calories. But, i guess thats why they call it stress eating. The gym has been a good outlet lately for my stress and anxiety and all the sadness i’ve been sitting on for so long. A thing that I do want to change in regard to that is I find myself repeating either “Dancing in the Dark” by Joji, “Crying Over You” by Honne, or “Almost (Sweet Music)” by Honne. All good songs on their own, but just have a deeper personal feeling in regards to my mental health and this overwhelming feeling of sadness or missing my ex. Something I want to try and do is just refer to her as my ex versus her name. In essence ridding myself of her name so theres no hope of getting back together. But fuck. I do miss her. 

Back onto topic for today, my first instinct after my appointment (and cheeseburger)  was to put my chair back in the car and call my closest friends. I wanted to call my friend Monica, but with everything going on lately its just so hard to dial those numbers or to see the responses she sends me. It feels like she doesn’t even care anymore. I always though that our friendship was something that transcended time or the long periods of maybe not saying anything. I felt like i’ve been there for her when she needed it, but the one mental breakdown since HS, and she’s nowhere to be found. Its ok though, I’ll always have love for her and I want her to be happy especially if she found someone she can love also. It just hurts not being able to talk to someone that you need to.  

I really wanted to call Ashley today also but I know she has work. I sent her my previous post yesterday and I felt like she didn't really read it or acknowledge it. It’s okay though. Im sure she has life and work and her own shit going on. Something I need to realize is that everyone cant be your crutch or your lifeline and people have things they need too. I wish her the best.

The talk I had with Derek today was a bit hit and miss for me. I appreciate that he listens and lets me open up to him about stuff, but when he said that he doesn’t know or think depression medication is something he believes in or wants to do kinda upsets me. It was hard for me to open up about it, for as long as I can remember its always been a sign of weakness and its very hard to open up about stuff like that. It is what it is though, because I am getting help to benefit others and not everyone. Something thats new to me. Doing stuff for myself mentally. 

The best medicine lately has been talking to my friend Jessica. Originally I just thought it would be nice to talk to someone whose been over a recent breakup lately too and we could be sad and emo together and shit. But honestly its been a lot more than that. It is nice to talk to someone that gives a shit to be frank. Someone who acknowledges what I’ve been going though, someone who just thinks i’ll instantly get better with time and recognizes the work I’ve been trying to put in to better myself. When I called her she just seemed so proud of me that I took the step to see someone and better myself. She didn't make snide comments about needing possible anti depressants. She just made me feel safe and acknowledged. The only thing I can really hope for tbh. Definitely someone I can open up to and share my journey with and when it hopefully ends one day, we can both look back and smile because we got through it together. 

In regards to my therapy. I want to be more open and honest with my therapist. It felt like she knew what I was going through and had sympathy. She made me feel like I wanted a reason to live. A reason to keep on going. She told me to go easier on myself, something that I really want to do. I want to live for myself and not for others. I don’t want to burden people. I don’t want to let people know that i’m struggling so bad that sometimes I lay in bed and think that if I jumped off a cliff everything would be ok. I hate that it takes me forever to get out of bed because this paralyzing sense of fear and embarrassment creeps in and makes you hide under the covers and make you think about all the good memories you had in the past 4 year and replaces them with the love you thought you had sucking another dudes dick or laughing at you while she gets fingered by your ex bestfriend. Depression feels like getting a dick constantly jammed into your ear. It sucks and it hurts and why the fuck would you even want a dick in your ear. I hate that we broke up and I also hate the feeling that maybe I needed it to discover more about myself and my happiness. TBH I wasn't happy the past 8 months. I was only happy when I was with her, and thats something I need to change. To be happy on my own. But, i wish i didnt see that youtube search awhile back. Or to see her moving on with someone else, that would hurt way too fucking much.

Other than talking about myself and my issues, we talked about the term co-dependent and what that means. I feel like I was so codependent on her that it was hard to do things on my own. That i wanted to spend all the moments i could and when she wasn't able to, what was I supposed to do? I loved her so much and even after 4 years I loved her as much as our first time together, or our 1 year anniversary. Or just laying in bed kissing and promising our futures together. I love deeply and passionately and I don’t want to be ashamed of that. What is so wrong about loving your partner to the fullest? Caring about their future, and their well being and how they are doing. But recently, I feel like if i were to even go back into the dating scene I couldn’t. Hook up culture scares me. Sex without love scares me. Finding your “soul mate” scares me, because I dont even know what I want yet.

My therapist said that we did spend our first 4 years of our adult lives with each other and not knowing anything else really hurts you, especially with a clean break from each other. I just hope it gets easier with time. I’m hurting and it really shows.

I need a break from social media for awhile. I need a break from my feelings for awhile also. 

In regards to my mental health though... there are still a lot of days where I don’t want to do much and I do think about just ending it all. But I know i cant do that. I dont want my parents or relatives or friends deal with that and emotionally fuck them up. But, I also want a reason for me not to end my life and want to live versus wanting others to want me to live. I just need that reason. 

Im stressed out about finding a job. I feel like if it was hard to find one in CA, it might be even harder here. Im stressed out about my living situation. I just wish they wanted me here more, or that I didn’t feel like an nuisance or a bother. 

I wish I had more friends out here to hangout with or get a drink or just do something fun. Its been lonely if im being 100% honesty. I’m so grateful for my sister though, shes been helping me out so much. I love her so much and I just hope my mental health isnt fucking with hers. She deserves the world and more. 

Im glad i’ve been writing these blog posts to empty out my emotions and all those feelings. For the first time in a long time i’m hopeful for the future. 

ALSO; i’m nervous about anti depressants. Theres such a stigma towards them and I hope i don’t become reliant on them just like I was reliant on my ex. But, deep down I know i need them to be better and feel better. 

If you’ve gotten this far thank you for reading and letting me vent out my feelings and my hopes and sadness. I hope I can be a more contributing member to society one day.

[townnightwalk]

REWRITTEN BEGINNING: INTRODUCTION OF NEW CHARACTER.

17/05/2017

- under the cut is the rewritten introduction to the story, and with the inclusion of a new character. This was a significant choice than ultimately changed the entire story and plan for the characters. It includes the main characters older sister who is increasingly hinted to be dead through the later dialogue, and this stems into the entire story arc and all character arcs.-

 Index

-        M = murphy, Prues sister

-        P = prue, main character

-        S = Sybil

-        J = jones

-        ? = unknown voice

-        ITALIC: internal dialogue and narration

-        Blue text: notes, not in actual piece

  FIRST SCENE

-        Starts with introductory prose

  Sometimes, memories are hazy,

Like lines of heat on a distant horizon,

Wavy and uncertain, tricking you

Sometimes the haze is heavier

Like white noise and static on an old tv

When you turn the dial on your grandparents set

All you see and hear is a deafening mess of white and black

Sometimes, you can find places like this

Liminal spaces, wedged between real life

But very much real, although they feel like a dream

These spaces can confuse you, scare you

Consume you

Beware of those who live there

 Scene shown is a warmly lit room, where the main character wakes up to calm music and her sister. They clean the room, talk, and then prue discovers shes actually still asleep and wakes up a second time to be in the car with her friends. In scene 1 prue thinks she has woken up, wakes up again to discover she was still dreaming, and then is knocked out by the car crash. This constant loss of consciousness is intentional, and it met to fit the tone of liminal spaces aka spaces between dreams, where you feel half awake and uncertain of what is real because of this.

 ? "hey sleepy head"

P "huh?"

? "are you going to help me with this or what?"

You turn to a familiar face, lit by the warm glow of the soft lights around her.

Shes tall, and grinning, and she looks like you.

Shaking yourself out of your dozy haze, you stand and start to help her collecting the plates from the dinner table.

M "about time doofus"

P "are you 10 years old"

M "I thought using doofus made me sound like 80, not 10" its not much to clean up, but you turn the tap on and let it fill the sink anyway. As you plunge the plates and your hands into the hot water, she turns and starts folding up the blanket on the couch. You're a messy sleeper, even when you nap, so she starts to readjust the cushions as well.

Dialogue decision

1 "how was work?"

2 "did I miss anything?"

 1 M "pretty average, no one threw anything at me this time"

P "wait what"

M "remember? That old lady who thought I was hiding her size?"

M" she threw a fit, and also a heel"

P "damn, I totally forgot about that"

P "what a bitch"

M "eh, she's just an old weirdo with bad aim"

 2 M "you missed dad, he was here for dinner"

P "good"

M "left an hour ago for stevens, I would be in your room when he gets home"

P "nah, lets go out"

M "ok, but lets finish this first"

 M "hows life"

P "fine"

M "hows school"

P "fine" M "hows friends?"

 Decision

1 "absolute shit"

2 "totally fine"

 1

M "I guessed as much, you look like hell

P "well fuck thanks a lot"

M "whats going on"

P "just some drama, sybils been pissing me off a lot"

M "well, we'll be seeing her tonight"

P "you are not performing an 'intervention'"

M "we'll seeeeee"

 2

M "you're a shit liar"

P "you're a shit listener"

M "what? I listen"

P "but you forget to keep to the listening part, you'll end up making me write her a letter or something"

M "psh, worked last time"

 You finish off drying the dishes and put them in the drawer beside you, then you put some glad wrap over the leftovers and place them inside the fridge. The bench is clear, and the kitchen tidy. She smiles and playfully shoves your side.

 M "thanks, wanna go get ready now?"

P "its not for another hour"

M "it's 8 dummy"

P "oh fucking hell"

M "want me to do your eyeliner wings or nah"

 Decision

1 "only if you can do it while driving"

2 "do you think he'll be pissed if we borrow the car"

 1

M "that’s why I have two hands"

P "that’s a disappointing amount of hands"

M "hey, im still developing here"

P "still developing at 24 years of age, and I thought it was sad enough youre living at home this old"

 2

M "dunno, he probably wont notice, hes getting dropped home late"

P " I wanna stay late"

M "well… we can cross that bridge when we get to it"

P " I guess"

 you hang up the teatowel and grab your phone off the bench, starting up the stairs to go and get ready. Before you reach the top, Murphy calls out again.

M "Hey Prue"

P  "yeah?"

M "do me a favour"

P  "what?"

 NOTE- at this point prue is waking up from this dream, she can hear another voice that isn’t her sisters-

  ? "Prue?"

-        Music stops

? "we have to go, wake up!"

 NOTE- the scene changes to indicate that she has woken up, she is now in a car with her friends on the side of the road.

      your vision blurs and so does she, before you can hear the request, its all gone in an instant.

   you're confused for a moment, but it doesn't take long for you to remember where you are.

it's late, you wish you could return to the dream that's been stolen from you

but your friend shakes you again, and you look at her with a frown.

S "c'mon, we gotta leave."

P "hmm... what? Why, I'm tired... I'm really tired."

S "look. Jones saw someone over there,

      I think we should park somewhere else."

 The car dashboard is bright in the dark of the night,

    so bright you have to squint.

    You reach out to turn a dial and the music fades away

  decision        

      1 "fine, we'll go.":

      2 "who did he see?"

      3 "jones is a jumpy wimp"

 1

You turn on the engine and rub your eyes, letting out a comical yawn mostly for effect and turn on the indicator.

S "who the hell are you indicating for"

P "your mystery man, he could be anywhere"

J "har har. I really did see someone"

P "well now he knows to stand back while I pull into the street, safety first"

 2

S "how the hell should I know"

J "it was just someone, I don’t know, does it matter?"

J "I don’t want to meet whoever is stumbling around at 3am in the dark"

P "fine, whatever"

 3

J "call me what you want, I don’t want to deal with some creep in the middle of the night"

S "- and in the middle of nowhere"

P "I didn't say I didn't trust your wimpy attitude, im just saying"

Its obvious he's ticked off, but you're too grumpy and groggy to feel like apologising, so you wait in the short silence until he speaks up again.

J "lets get out of here, ok"

P "ok"

  -        If 2 or 3 jump to a copy of 1-

You turn on the engine and rub your eyes, letting out a comical yawn mostly for effect and turn on the indicator.

S "who the hell are you indicating for"

P "your mystery man, he could be anywhere"

J "har har. I really did see someone"

P "well now he knows to stand back while I pull into the street, safety first"

 The street is deserted, matching the lifeless houses lining it. The only lights you see hang overhead and stand out as beacons to follow blindly.

 S "where do you think we are?"

J "well, we drove a good 7 hours."

P "who cares, it doesn't matter as long as its far."

S "true, love feeling like a nomad, just following the road to nowhere. s "especially cause im in a car and don’t have to walk or be cold"

J "we should plan what to do next in the morning"

P "I have a plan"

 Decision

1 "step one: sanctuary

2 "step one: steal

3 "step one: wreck shit <NOTE: BIG DIVIDE 3, RENEGADE

 1

J "happy to hear we arent living in a car"

J "god sybil don't look like that. We are not living in a car."

S "we live in a car, we live in the getaway vehicle."

P "we live in a car, we learn to live with shady toilets in parks and fast food places"

S "damnit. You got me."

 Jump to safe branch

 2

P "I have to empty dads bank accounts before he realises I took his cards"

P "if he cancels them we're screwed"

S "fuck yes, holy shit let me cut the cards I've always wanted to do that"

S "off the grid, out of the system, cash only, no trace"

J "we should've done that sooner, he can trace the atm"

S "can you just

S "enjoy this"

J "you said no trace, I was just-"

Sybil reaches back to press her hand against Jones mouth before he can finish the thought. She does it hard enough that his lips are pulled back to expose his teeth, leaving him with a true grimace of frustrated acceptance.

S "please. No more"

 Jump to safe branch

 3

Sybils eyes widen, as does her threatening grin.

S "I love the new prue"

J "what would we be doing exactly"

P "Cutting all ties. Taking all the money on my dad's account, and ditching this car."

S "wait what"

P "the license plate and car model, the police will be looking for it at some point"

S "and?"

P "we're finding a replacement, and losing this one."

S "prue"

S "if you don’t tell me what you mean by 'losing it' I might lose my mind first"

 DESCISION WITHIN DECISION

a burning it

b selling it

C driving it off a cliff

 A

P "he gas lit me all my life, why not do it back"

P "In a way"

J "because its arson"

J "and if there is one place I don't want to sleep more than this car"

J "its in a cell."

 B

P "I mean, it's not as clean cut, do sales people run plates after they buy a car?"

J "I have absolutely, no fucking clue."

J "I feel like we need paperwork or something"

P "guess we just need to find someone really seedy?"

S "boo, what a boring option"

S "still, money."

S "and disguises"

J "no disguises"

P "she can have one"

S "FUCK"

S "YES"

Jump to safe branch

 C

J "you cannot be serious."

J "what cliff? Into where? The ocean?"

S "prue as soon as its legal"

S "I am marrying you"

P "I just want to destroy this thing"

J "you are serious"

J "god. Ok, lets sleep on it."

S "well… if we are intent on wrecking it…"

S "no point in keeping it pristine now."

 You grin back at sybil, and jones stares in horror as you change gears and lurch everyone back by slamming on the accelerator.

  NOTE: this scene leads to the crash