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bramblepaws · 6 years ago

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meat uhh part 3. where dirk Starts Talking A Lot

ughhhh i already don’t like this lol

but i’m going to... try to accept evil dirk into my heart or whatever. just.. what is the purpose of this? to create an unreliable narrator? to make us question even the canon timeline? or to believe that dirk is controlling everything for a certain purpose, rather than the narrative, therefore making the Purpose more ambiguous in both what it’s going to be and its morality? because dirk is a “the ends justify the means” kind of guy, from what i’ve seen, and i Really don’t want this to be. that kind of story. although i guess it already is, what with the ghosts and the kids getting just Absolutely Brutally Obliterated.

it is interesting to have this happen after i completed the candy route, though the more i read of Meat the more i think i was probably supposed to do Meat first. not-jade’s big exposition on narrative was incredibly interesting, but completely out of context and strange until This.

but applying that conversation to this narrative shift is interesting. because now my personal biases against Dirk are coming into play. i Don’t trust him to have the other characters’ best interests at heart, whereas I DID trust the original narrator in that sense. Or at least I trusted the original narrator to Try. i expect Dirk is just going to shuffle his pawns around because he’s distanced himself from them so much & trusts his own definition of their best interests, without taking any input from them.

but the main question i have is..... is Dirk orchestrating this timeline? or is he simply telling it? he is implying a level of control over the narrative that’s all-encompassing (sans roxy, apparently). so... i dunno. i’ll read more. but i’m finding this change annoying rather than intriguing at the moment, Entirely because i don’t trust Dirk to provide satisfying arcs for the other characters.

anyways

Hell Yea

roxy continues 2 b the most relatable character in homestuck 4 me, even in the epilogues, Nice,

dirk if you’re literally writing this you can go back. and backspace. and replace the words. u focking Idiot. this is in a written format and you KNOW that, Fool

jade’s fuckin CUTE

also Dirk’s perspective on her flitting from couch to couch and person to person because she was alone for so long is interesting. it’s funny, because i would absolutely see her actions as being in-character if i looked at it on paper? like... Character lives by herself on an island for a long time, Character is raised literally by a dog and has 0 human interaction for the first 13 years of her life. Character then goes through a long traumatic experience where she has to fight for her life and sees a lot of people die. Character ends up in a place where all of her friends are concentrated in a single area. Character now has no social etiquette skills, and wants to spend time with EVERYONE, so flits from couch to couch and sleeps around a lot. THAT ALL IS LIKE... VALID?

but for Some Reason “character then tries to enter a poly relationship with her two best friends who are clearly uncomfortable with the concept” doesn’t fit anywhere in there. and the angle at which it’s been happening doesn’t.. make sense? with jade? it’s too. surface level. there’s no indication that she feels any sort of weirdness about it, or any sort of confusion about what she’s supposed to be doing, which WOULD fit. people don’t just throw themselves into such a huge change without any internal feelings. but there’s no evidence of them! and THAT is why she feels so OOC in this whole thing, in both universes.

her being blind to social norms would be fine, but she wouldn’t be blind To The Fact that she doesn’t know them. she’d be super hyperaware of that! it’s not like she doesn’t have EMPATHY, she can SEE when other people are exhibiting the same signs of discomfort she would. her not knowing how to react to that would be fair, but she WOULD notice. she’s so smart! and humans are like... hard-wired to At Least Notice.

anyways long story short: hussie give my girl Emotions. why are half of the women characters coming across as flat in this epilogue. bitch

oh nice i love davekat

I Also Love Kanaya

the fact that dave canonically is A Huge Dork and that multiple characters have made fun of him for it is great

this made me smile i love these kids. er. adults

also im thinkin that my pervasive thought of this read-through is proobabblyy gonna be “shut up dirk” because i’ve thought it at least 5 times already

this is my favorite line in all of homestuck

also 16-year-old-me is trying to rise up out of the inner workings of my brain and take note of alien biology facts that dave is talking about and i keep having to beat her back with a stick. I REFUSE!!

precious....

also i can’t tell if dirk is being.. like. facetious about the timing shit? or if he is actually beholden to the timeline.

hey kanaya i love you

#im already into the philosophy discussion but i had to move that into a part four because it's a LOT of me yelling #text #hs ramblings #upd8 #epilogue liveblog #homestuck

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kyunsies · 3 years ago

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Hello Mädch ahsdjaksdh <3 !!

how is college going? dw, I hope you are settling in super well and feeling optimistic about school and all the amazing things I know you are going to achieve this year! I am excited that you are starting your rotations now! you are going to do awesome, I know it! I'm sorry that you didn't get that ICU first like you wanted but hopefully it's all part of the plan so that you get it at the right time for you <3 let me know how they go, of course. I hope they go super well.

the week has been a bit weird to be honest, in my team I had a semi argument that was properly tense for the first time with someone and it was just so unpleasant. you know those people where they aren't horrible but you know that you'll never completely see eye to eye with them? i think it's just one of those things, where we'll never just completely read each other or get each other? and it's not, like, a massive issue or anything that we can't deal with, but I feel like usually I get on really well with people or not at all (all or nothing person I guess haha) but with this person I've just got to admit that we're always going to be a bit in the middle? like, we talked it over, and I've still found sometimes we misunderstand one another? so things are still good in work and clients, but with workpeople it has been the more difficult battle? hopefully we should get some more cool media stuff with the K-pop people soon, so that's an up?

OMGsh your coworkers are so much older than you! [lease do post a picture of your room, I am 100% confident that you have made it so dreamy and pretty. Thank you sm for telling me more about these operations though! I feel like everywhere is on red alert at the moment when it comes to health and care and making sure that people look after themselves and not put others at risk, you know? the doctors that to talk to me about my potential surgeries too have said the same but it's nice hearing it from a friend, you know? so thank youuuu <3 <3

I was the same as you, I would get so so so anxious and stressed if I wasn't studying or working or anything like that? but my mum is like your mum and grandma, where she gets up early too! but I feel like I need to do the late night thing instead? but then once I got into this crazy spiral where I would wake up really early and go to bed really late and like nap in between so I ended up like having two hours of sleep either side? that was peak wth at the time haha XD so now I try and let myself wake up a bit later really XD ha ha I'm in barely adulting! like I work so much but I don't earn a lot ha ha – I don't think that's very effective adulting? or like, I don't know I guess for a lot of people my age there's a work hard and hope it pays off thing in certain industries? so you're definitely more effectively adulting than me right now! like, you're going to do stuff that's gonna actively help people and you'll see that right in front of you, you know!!? sometimes my work gets out there but I rarely see directly if it gets to make peoples lives better you know? so the path you're on is so so admirable <3 <3 <3

I get you though, do you find that you thrive under the pressure even though it's sometimes a lot? I find that sometimes it does help me, but sometimes I forget to identify the times when it isn't helping me? or, sometimes I take it too far? so please look out for yourself and take care of yourself <3 and when you're worried if you're on the edge know that it's enough for you to take a rest and not be super perfect. i sometimes tell myself to except that I'm probably gonna make two or three stupid mistakes a day? It sounds kind of silly but it means that it makes it easier for me to accept when I mess up, idk, I think it helps me balance the pressure sometimes? i 100% understand what you're saying - at school do they have people that can directly help? or like peer supporters so it's not as stressful or official feeling as a therapist? if you ever want me to come off anon to help lemme know <3 i'm always here for you <3

oh my gosh your grandparents have been able to live long too! all my grandparents lived close to 100 before passing, and one of my grandmothers had the same as your grandfather. he sounds so sweet and so kind though! i love that he knows how to FaceTime you! Some of my aunts and uncles still don't properly haha. it sounds like he knows that he's super loved though, he's very lucky <3 <3 i've been thinking about all this really lovely stuff and how it grounds you when stuff like careers can stress you out and feel like the most important thing when it shouldn't be? what are the personality differences between the different areas of the US? my East Coast friends seem to straight talk a lot more than my West Coast friends? like they're a lot more realistic as opposed to being, I don't know laid-back or if not laid-back sometimes just more comfortable with superficial stuff? Not like my West Coast friends are superficial people, but I think they accept it as part of the world a bit better? my friends on the east coast will rail against that stuff a lot more, like they buy into the influencer bullshit less? but I guess these are all sweeping generalisations anyway... I might have to travel a bit in europe soon... I got asked to go to otaly for some work today, and to holland next month. Idk if it will end up happening though, things change all the time? I have to keep checking quarantine rules all the time with countries! but YAY and YES Europe tour trip one day :D !!!!!!!

you know what? when I first saw you compare bowling and golf I was like, wait, what? but now I totally get it! i know a golfer and they talk about how physical and strenuous it is on the arms and stuff all the time which I don't think always comes across when you watch it and it makes a lot of sense with how you describe how you trained for bowling! i used to cox in rowing and I always used to find it really funny that I said that was the sport I did because honestly I just sat in the boat all the time and steered XD

obligatory YES WTF ARE COTTON SCENTS! quite a few shops in the city where I live have been closing down because of Covid but our Jo Malone is still going strong! I love that lots of already classic clothing shops have now gone out of business but for some reason the people where I live cannot live without their perfume XD I think I'm gonna go in later this week or next week to take a look! with all this travelling I kind of want to buy something new? also, my hands have been acting up with injury so I have to rest my hands more anyway – so might as well look for perfume right? do you have any recommendations or would the blueberry one you've just gotten be at the top of your list?

the exciting thing is that I'm doing a bit less this week! I need to wait and see if that job wants me to fly out to Italy within the next 48 hours, if not next week, but if not I think I'm gonna figure out how to rehabilitate my joints a bit and get my brain okay? It's been existential Covid crisis week haha - I think a lot of me and my friends have been feeling like we've lost so much of our lives and potential during this time and I've really tried to hold in and ignore it for the past 18 months? i'm not one to ever feel lonely or to really really want to be in a relationship like some of my friends, but I've just been feeling it this week? like, I love my independence, but I wouldn't say no to a boyfriend right now you know? I feel silly saying that sometimes because I'm so against feeling like you have to have someone in your life to be okay, but I guess that's just a result of how the world is has been recently?? but I think all my feelings exploded around this stuff now so, I am trying to get back into a better place? so it's not as exciting as some of the stuff I've told you about before, but it's what's up I guess?

how are your mum and grandmother doing? are they doing good? [lease send all my love to them too. I'm glad these help you reflect on your week! they do with me too and I'm always happy to hear from you, no matter how long you might need <3 <3 hope you manage to reward yourself for working so hard these past days and that you remember you're always doing 110% so you deserve the best!

love you lots and lots - 💥

ANGEL HELLO !!!!!!!!! i told myself i would stay on top of this and swear in a timely manner but ;_____; a full week + 2 clinical rotations later here i am on a sunday, it seems this is always the case :( maybe my get back to you day will only be on sundays LOL i will try my best in the future babe, but ofc thank you so much for being patient with me <3

uni is going fine so far hun !!!! i've started clinical rotations as i've said on thursday and friday, and then my first exam is on tuesday so i read some chapters yesterday so i'm not squished for time lol :) and ,,,, what you said "hope it's all part of the plan" is very much my way of thinking lol wha is your sign? i'm a sagittarius and that's like, a philosophy i go by like everything is how it's supposed to be even if it's not what u want like everything will work itself out :') i'm wondering if we are one in the same !!!!! <3

and omg ;_____; conflict within the workplace is NEVER easy bc all everyone wants is to reach the goal you all are reaching and bc there's some bumps in the road it makes everything that much more stressful :( and i know exactly the type of person you are talking about LOL i've had to work with some of my peers in the hospital who really didn't treat me all that nicely , but i still have to partner up with them anyways bc we had to move a patient lol ; like they never do anything terrible to you but you just cannot come to a proper agreement with them? i know the feeling :( but i can tell you are doing ur absolute best ;_____; it's a tough situation ,,,,,,,,, but may i propose something ??? maybe since things are high stress in the workplace, would u be willing to meet them outside the workplace, like a quick coffee meet up and then discuss those issues? maybe talking about it in the work environment is way too stressful for both of u and it is hard to come to an agreement, but maybe in a calmer, more informal setting do u think maybe the both of u could be like "hey, what u were talking about i'm not really head over heels for but this is what i think and do u think we can do something where both of us will be happy?" im thinking maybe will opening up a means for more civilized discussion?? just a thought LOL :') let me know how it goes :( i hope u are all able to figure everything out !!!!!

about the surgeries !!!!! like i said i know it's super stressful to think about bc this is one of the very few times in life where things are absolutely out of our control and that scares us, and we as medical providers aren't supposed to give u a false sense of security, but i promise u everything will be just fine as long as u correctly follow up with care post-op :) we wouldn't want an infection !!!! >;( i remember last year i had a patient and she was going in for a routine colonoscopy and she was scared shitless ,,,,,,, but i was like "listen ma'am i know it can seem scary but i was just in there with the doctors and everything is super relaxed and they know what they're doing in there, you'll be out in no time and i'll be here waiting !!" and that seemed to help her a lot, after the surgery she was on me like flies on shit LOL she was like "THANK U HONEY" (but i think most of it was bc she was still drugged up hhh)

LOL us with our family members waking up early <3 literally this morning i decided to do my laundry at 8am (its only 10 right right now lol) but idk it just make u feel a little bit better doesn't it? but oh my gosh no i don't see u in this way at all ;_____; babe like you're already THERE in the world working and to me like ,,,,,, being an effective functioning person in society is like all i ever want i just want to be COMPETENT and the fact that u manage ppl ???? it's already a lot of responsibility but you do it everyday like you go to work u make food for yourself u pay bills like yes this all kinda sucks but you're there doing it and idk ,,,,,,,, like u being in this position is like yeah their surviving in the world and doing okay !!!! so that’s how i see u hun ;_____;

and i don’t think i necessarily thrive under pressure but i just kinda ,,,,,,, handle it?? like i think i handle my stress quite well !!! i think the reason why making mistakes scares me so much in my field is bc if i make a mistake i can like, kill someone or seriously harm them if i do something wrong SLKDFJ but i have to remember i’m still just a student and a lot of the things that i’ll learn won’t even be in these last few months of nursing school, but rather during my months of orientation on the floor i’ll be working on when i finally land a job ,,,,,, i know i just have to be patient and kind to myself, but it’s hard not having these high expectations for myself bc everyone else pushes themselves super hard (nurses i mean) so i feel like i should be too , ya know? ;_____; it’s a hard balance that i’ve yet to find but hopefully once i graduate i’ll have just a little bit more confidence in myself :’)

and omg your grandparents lived a long life as well !!!!!!!! a lot of my friends’ grandparents are really young still, so it’s hard for others to relate i think LOL but :(((( i’m really lucky to have them around still and like, i feel like my grandparents are the cornerstone of our whole entire family; once they pass i’m not quite sure what will happen ;_____; so i’m just trying to cherish every moment that i have with them even tho sometimes it’s stressful lol ; also BOUT THE DIFFERENCES FROM EAST TO WEST COAST LOL ; i think u described it really well actually :) like among the friends u have the are from different parts of the states, it’s very accurate in my opinion !! and again after all it is just a very broad assumption, in general east coasters have this “workaholic” attitude, they tend to be very realistic which i actually appreciate a lot lol, i’m hoping to live near the east coast when i move out <3 now where i am from it is considered the midwest even tho it’s more east than west if u look at it on the map LMAO and like, it’s really funny bc if u say to someone you’re from the midwest they’ll tell u our reputation is being “too nice” LSKDLFJSKLD and like that’s our thing, a happy medium between coasts with big cities but small towns too and generally just very chill and nice ,,,,,,,, the south of the US is also known for having that “southern hospitality” overall very cheerful ppl with personality and super kind attitude on life :) now the west of the US i’m not saying there aren’t nice ppl out there bc there are LOL but esp near lost angeles or hollywood ofc you’re going to have ppl very stuck up bc ya know they made it to big bad LA and they want to be trendy with all of the fake health shit (celery juice does NOTHING FOR U sorry lol) generally my view of the west is just very fake and i would never want to have my family grow up there LMAO but that generally like, california and washington but like, utah or wyoming or colorado are just absolutely gorgeous and they have small town ppl there bc there are a lot of ranches there ,,,,,,,, does any of this make sense to u ??? KLASFJ

i’m going to skip a few paragraphs bc this is so long already LMAO but trust me i’ve read everything so far lol ; it seems like you’re doing a lot of traveling !!!!!! <3 i’m so jealous !!!!!!!! italy sounds so beautiful i would love love to go some day :( ALSO U SMELLED THE BLUEBELL PERFUME RIGHT ???? U LIKED IT ?????? doesn’t it smell absolutely divine??? no matter how many scents i smelled after that i knew it was the right one for me ldkfsdlkfj <3 i’m still so in love with it ;____; also about ur lil rant about feeling lonesome :( bub i can really relate to this and i feel the same way like my mom and the rest of my family never pushed me to meet anyone and i’ve always never had a problem making friends, but like, as i’m older and i realize i’ll be alone a lot more of my time once i graduate like i really do want to share my life with someone :( i have a lot of love and i want to be able to show it to someone i care about a lot but i just never really take the initiative to do that bc quite honestly i’m not confident in myself lMAO so ,,,,,,, i know we never feel like we need to be dependent on someone but sharing experiences with someone who feels very strongly for u seems nice, doesn’t it? i wish this for both of us really soon okay?? <3 i tell my friends i would LOVE to be engaged right now lskdjfslfjs :’)

but anyways !!!!!!!! my mom and the rest of my family is doing well <3 and i’m doing okay too !!!!!! i don’t want to bore u with how clinicals are going but if u want me to tell u just let me know LOL and angel i know i say it all the time but always thank u so much for being patient with me okay? u are the absolute best !!!!!! also as promised, here are a few pics of my dorm room LOL it’s a shoebox but it’s my shoebox :) enjoy !!!!!!

#asks #💥 anon #my dorm is the oldest one on campus so :’) it looks a little ugly but I try my best MXJDJD #ignore the popcorn bag on the side :)#also peep the jo malone perfume LOL

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peterpparkrr · 7 years ago

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Changing the Tide: An Avengers Fanfic (2/7)

Summary: Wanda Maximoff is the new girl in town and also reconciling with the death of her twin brother, Pietro. As she starts to navigate her new life she manages to stumble into friendship with a group of teens who are surprisingly similar to her

A/N: This is basically just a highschoolAU for the Avengers without powers.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

The rest of the day was similar for Wanda, it seemed like people must have known about her brother’s death somehow because in every class there was someone who would sit next to her and strike up conversation, but no one ever asked about her family.

It took her a while to realize something was up. First, an intelligent looking girl with red hair, the girl who had been talking to Clint when she’d run into him this morning, sat next to her in her French class and helped her with her conjugations when she realized she was maybe in too high of a level. After that she went to her philosophy class, one of the classes she had been more excited to see was offered at this school and was surprised to see Steve was also in this class. Since he was the only person she knew, she smiled at him and sat net to him, luckily he sat in the middle of the room which let her feel like she was slightly invisible, which is what she wanted to be as often as possible.

After class Steve brought her down to the Cafeteria and helped her navigate the lunch line, after that traumatic experience Wanda decided that she was going to bring her own lunch from now on.

Once they had paid for their lunches Steve lead her to a table with several girls already seated.

“Hi everyone, this is Wanda,” The group of girls looked up from their conversation and smiled at her, “Wanda, this is-”

“Natasha,” The girl closest to them said, cutting Steve off, “We already met, French.” She said with a small smile, brushing a strand of her red hair behind her ear.

“I’m Jane,” the girl next to her, with darker hair said, giving her a small wave.

“Pepper - don’t ask - my parents were hippies,” The next girl, a strawberry blonde said politely.

Wanda looked to the next girl expectedly, Pepper, sitting next to her had to nudge her to get her to look up from the notes she was studying furiously, the girl looked up started, her dark brown curls bouncing,“Oh! I’m Darcy, my bad, I have a massive physics test today so I’m cramming.” She said before pushing her glasses back up the bridge of her nose and turning back to her notes.

“And I’m Peggy,” said the last girl with a notable british accent, sticking her hand out for Wanda to shake. Wanda hesitated slightly before shaking her hand. Steve grinned and sat down next to her so Wanda sat down next to Natasha.

“How are you liking it here?” Peggy asked her, “I’m new this year too, exchange student,” she explained.

“It’s been good so far, I really liked-” Wanda started saying before she was cut off by a very loud screeching noise followed by crackling as someone turned on a megaphone.

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN-” someone behind them boomed. Everyone at the table groaned and kept eating, this was clearly a common occurrence, and an annoying one at that.

“-TODAY I HAVE THE GREAT HONOR-” they boomed again, Wanda turned around in her seat to see Tony, the boy from her biology class, standing on top of the next table over, yelling into the megaphone.

“-OF INTRODUCING MY NEWEST INVENTION-”

“He does this all the time, you’ll get used to it,” Wanda hear Steve say from behind her, she turned around and nodded to him, she’d gathered that already, before turning back to see what was going to happen.

“-THE AMAZING, THE FANTASTIC, THE MAGNIF-”

“TONY STARK! IF YOU DON’T TURN OFF THAT MEGAPHONE AND GET OFF THAT TABLE RIGHT NOW!” Someone else suddenly boomed, needing no megaphone to gain attention. Tony smirked and quickly scrambled off the table and up to the man.

“Principal Fury, I just thought that the school should-”

“Be the unwilling audience of you newest invention being unveiled? I don’t think so, now either sit down and eat your lunch like a normal kid or join me in my office for a discussion of proper lunch room etiquette.” Principal Fury told Tony before storming off. Tony grinned and walked over to their table before climbing over it in order to sit next to Pepper.

Tony turned to Wanda as he grabbed a pea pod from Pepper’s lunch, “I’m-”

“Tony Stark,” Wanda said, returning his smirk with one of her own, “Nice to meet you, I’m Wanda.”

He chuckled slightly and grabbed another pea pod from Pepper, earning him a well placed slap alongside the head from her.

“Well then,” He said, slightly taken aback, “New girl, nice to meet you too.” Tony then launched into explaining his newest invention as he pulled it out of his backpack, showing it off like it was going to cure cancer. Wanda quickly zoned out, taking everyone else’s distraction to reflect on what just happened. She wasn’t really sure why this group of people, people who seemed...popular were even talking to her, let alone being nice to her. She did even notice when Clint and Thor joined them. Clint sat down next to her, and Thor, the guy from her History class sat down on the other end of the table next to Jane, and promptly put his unhealthily large arm around her.

Wanda was so preoccupied by watching them out of the corner of her eye that she didn’t realize that Clint was studying her intently, “You okay?” He asked, snapping her out of her daze.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She said quickly, looking back down at her plate and moving her food around absentmindedly.

Tony, from across the table was finishing his long winded description and demonstration of his invention and promptly inserted himself into their conversation, “Of course she’s fine, why wouldn’t she be? She’s sitting with the best people at this school.” He said with mock insult.

Clint shot Tony a serious look, one that said don’t mess with her right now that Wanda couldn’t help but feel thankful for while also being kind of embarrassed, she didn’t mind Clint knowing about what had happened, but she didn’t want it spreading around the whole school.

“Oh come on Clint, lighten up, it’s not like someone died or anything.” Tony replied, pressing back on him.

Wanda and Clint both froze.

“I’d better go.” Wanda said quickly, standing up and grabbing her backpack without making eye-contact with anyone else at their table before leaving.

“Wanda wait-” Clint called after her, but Wanda turned the corner and was out of the lunchroom before she could hear the rest of what he was saying.

Back in the lunchroom Clint watched Wanda, the poor junior that he’d told Principal Fury that he would look out for, quickly walk out of the lunchroom before turning back to the rest of the table. Everyone looked confused, Tony especially.

“What was that?” Steve asked, looking over Clint’s shoulder at the door that Wanda had gone through.

Clint sighed, “I wasn’t going to tell you guys this since I didn’t want you guys to treat her differently, just to be nice to her, but at this point I doubt she’ll ever talk to any of us ever again so I guess it doesn’t matter.” He told them before lowering his voice, he, for one, respected the fact that no one would want this sort of news getting out.

“What could have been so bad that I scared off your little girlfriend?” Tony said, trying to crack a joke.

“So not the time, Tony,” Pepper said, shooting him a look.

Clint tried not to get mad, Tony had lost his parents after all, he knew a fair bit about loss and didn’t need a lecture about respecting grief.

“Wanda’s twin brother died in a car accident the week before school started, that’s why she’s starting late. That’s why I made sure there was at least one of you in each of her classes, I want to make sure she had some friends.” Clint told the table.

“Fuck…” Tony muttered, “Shit, I’m such an ass.”

“You didn’t know, I figured that once she had known us for a while she would tell everyone herself.” Clint replied with a shrug, “The only reason I knew is that I was volunteering when it happened, I snuck her into her brothers room before he…” He trailed off.

“I should go talk to her, apologize.” Tony said, starting to stand up.

“I wouldn’t,” Steve said, breaking in, “No offense, but she doesn’t really like you.” He told him.

“I’ll do it.” Clint said standing up, “Once I know she’s okay, I’ll let her know you want to apologize and bring her back if she’s okay with it.”

The rest of the table murmured in agreement as Clint took off, hoping that Wanda hadn’t gotten too far. With any luck, she’d gotten lost and he would be able to find her easily.

#avengers #avengers imagine #avengers fanfic #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff fanfic #steve rogers #steve rogers fanfic #clint barton #clint barton fanfic #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff fanfic #thor odinson #thor fanfic #tony stark #tony stark fanfic

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paradox-oflife · 5 years ago

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massive q and a post part 4 ignore this pls

1. Is the grass greener on the other side? It depends on perspective I guess. To me, not really. All of us are going through some stuff in the inside.

2. If a tree falls in the forest and there's no one around to hear it does it make a noise? uuuuuh yeah, i’d say so!

3. Why does it always rain on me? (idk how to respond to this)

4. Have you ever sailed a boat? One time. It was kinda scary ngl but my brother basically did most things for me.

5. Do you love or loathe Harry Potter? Love. Bro, 2nd grade me reading books under the covers. Catch me with some Percy Jackson or HP.

6. Do you do your utmost for the environment? Of course mate. Though one person won’t have much effect on global warming, you gotta respect your surroundings.

7. Do you love or loather Eurovison? I only watched it once. Reminds me a lot of the Voice. I don’t really watch that type of stuff though.

8. Have you ever wielded a sword? YEAH. I got a plastic one for a skit in school and god it was so much fun doing choreographed fights. I felt cool.

9. If you were famous would you want a statue or a building names after you? Maybe something small. Nothing too big. Depends what I did to become famous too.

10. Whats your favourite type of fish? Why the Blobfish of course.

11. Which do you prefer pony tails or pig tails? Ponytails. I wear low ponytails like everyday because my hair makes my face irritated sometimes.

12. Whats the ultimate cake topping? Fruit. Enough said.

13. Do you like marzipan? It’s no bad.

14. Whats better? Center Parks or Butlins? (I’m assuming this is another British thing for hotels)

15. If you were in a band, what instrument/role would you play? I actually was in a band during high school with my friends, except we barely performed. We just hung out in the garage playing songs we liked. I was the bassist, or sometimes when the keyboardist couldn’t make it I’d play piano. I wanted to try drums but i can’t move my limbs independently enough. I tried picking up the guitar but there’s too many strings lmao i can’t memorize enough chords

16. Can you erect a tent? Nope

17. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck it until I get bored, then i CRONCH it

18. Have you ever used a telephone book? (yeah im old enough to remember these things) I used it as fuel for a fireplace lol

19. If you have an mp3 player what size is it? I used to have one. It was smaller than my hand.

20. Do you still have any music on vinyl or casettes? No :( I don’t have a vinyl player but I have old casettes of Chinese Children songs lmao

21. Do you still have a camera that uses conventional film? My dad has one, but it’s out of batteries.

22. Approximately how many DVD's do you have? A lot. I have one of those books with DVD holders and they’re just movies like Shrek.

23. Approximately how many Albums do you have? Downloaded on my phone - a lot.

24. Do you talk to yourself? When I’m alone. I’ve done it before at school and I got crazy looks

25. Do you sing to yourself? ONLY when Im by myself. God forbid anyone hears me singing.

26. Do you know any identical twins? I know two pairs that’s my age, and a pair that’s 27 I believe.

27. Have you ever given blood? No, I really should as someone with blood type O+ but im a big WUSS when it comes to needles.

28. Could you ever be a medical guineapig? Nah. I need something that’s been tested. Because if they screw up, chances are they won’t know how to fix it.

29. Whats your favourite radio station? Classical music station for short drives because I don’t know like any of the “mainstream” stuff. But I just connect my phone to the car and listen to my own playlists.

30. Whats your favourite letter of the Alphabet? X feels so exotic

31. Which is better? rollerblade or rollerskates? Rollerskates.

32. Have you ever written a love letter? No

33. How many valentines cards did you recieve this/last year? 5. They were all from my friends :)

34. What are cooler? Dinosaurs or Dragons? Dragons for SURE

35. Have you ever made your own ice lollipops? No

36. Have you ever made your own Ice cream? No

37. Which foreign language did you have to learn at school? and do you still remember enough to hold a conversation in that language? I did two years of Spanish in middle school, but for high school I went the easy path and took Chinese. Then again, most people who take Chinese already speak Chinese. I did it to jump to AP faster.

38. Do you know CPR? Only from the Office, but I’ve never had to do it before. I heard you have to keep pushing until the ribs break??

39. Do you have any swimming badges? Nah, I can swim but I sure am slow

40. Do you prefer digital or rotary/analogue clocks? I’m alright with either

41. How tall is the tallest person you know? 6′7″. Mate, I’m 5′1″, I literally have to tilt my head so high just to talk with him.

42. Have you ever got lost in a maze? omg yeah in New Zealand there’s this thing called a sensory maze. And at one point you go into this room where the seizure inducing lights are flashing on and off super quickly and it’s filled with mirrors. Me and my cousin were basically crawling on the floor because we kept crashing into mirrors.

43. Have you ever been attacked by a wild animal? No and I hope I never do

44. Have you ever ridden a camel? No. Don’t see a lot of camels in California

45. Whats your opinion on rats? They’re alright. As long as they’re not in my house

46. Have you ever been to a gym? Yeah.

47. Have you ever been in a helicopter? No, but it seems kind of fun

48. Have you ever cheated at a test? Okay, maybe a couple times but after 9th grade i STOPPED

49. Have you ever ridden a tractor? Yeah, I even wore a bandana.

50. Are you a gossip? No. I only spill tea around people I know who can keep secrets.

51. Have you ever cried at a film? Yeah. The last time was during Avengers Endgame when Black Widow sacrifices herself.

52. When you're ill do you struggle on regardless or just curl up in bed as much as possible? Well, coming from an Asian family, I developed that type of mentality where if it’s just a cold, then I keep going. If I have a fever, then I stay home.

53. Do you need to write down things to remember them? Most of the times

54. Do you keep a diary/journal? I’ve kept one since 6th grade. It’s so interesting to see how my mentality and thinking has changed over the years. From my lowest points to my highest, it’s so cool.

55. Are you scared of thunderstorms? Nah, unless there’s lightning close by. One time I was at Taiwan and there was lightning like right outside my house. Bro it’s the scariest thing ever. You see a flash of lightning next to the window and the house rattles with a BOOOOOM. Legit, it’s so loud

56. Do you have any unusual fears or phobias? I mean, needles are a pretty common fear so I guess not.

57. Whats your favourite disney movie? Lion King. The remake wasn’t that bad imo.

58. Have you ever slept in a caravan? Nope

59. Have you ever painted a house? I’ve painted inside one

60. Have you got green fingers? I mean, I’m alright with plants.

61. Whats the tallest tree you've ever climbed? Not that tall because I slipped and fell one time and had the air knocked out of me. Thought I would die there lol

62. Have you ever dialed the talking clock? (another uk thing)

63. Do you always wear identical socks? I try to but hey, if I don’t care, then it’s a free for all

64. Do you live by any motto or philosophy? A couple actually. A lot of comes from the Bible, specifically the whole Matthew 5-7 sermon on the mountain

65. Do you lick the yoghurt or desert lid? Yes, there’s so much on there.

66. Do you lick the spoon clean after making something sweet? Usually, unless it’s like raw or something

67. Do you like the sound of music? (the musical/film) I remember watching that on those old TVs during elementary school. I think it’s a pretty nice film!

68. Have you ever made your own orangejuice? Yeah

69. Have you ever sucked on a lemon? yes and i think i had a sweet lemon because it was honestly not sour

70. Have you ever licked a battery? no WTF

71. Are you a good aim with a rubber band? Ah, not really.

72. Have you ever played golf? Yee

73 .Whats the most unusual name you've ever come across? I met a Jezebel before. The name meaning itself isn’t bad, but that character in the Bible is associated with pretty bad things

74. Do you prefer to wash in the mornings or evenings? Evening showers>>>> you literally CANNOt change my mind

75. Have you ever danced in the rain? No. because I hate getting my shoes wet.

76. Do you like long or short hair? Long hair

77. Have you ever sworn at an authority figure? Nope. I’m a good kid

78. Have you ever walked into a wall? Yes. So embarrassing.

79. Whats your favourite precious metal? N/A

80. Whats your favourite precious stone? N/A

81. Could you ever hunt your own meal? No way.

82. Have you ever read any comics? None of your standard American DC Comics, but yeah.

83. Where do you like to go to on a first date? Somewhere personal. Doesn’t matter where really. I mean personal like, a picnic on a grassy plain, or under a starry sky. Studio Ghibli vibes.

84. Do you prefer vertical or horizontal stripes? Horizontal I guess

85. Have you ever baked your own bread? Yeah and it came out like pita chips lol

86. Can you believe I can't believe its not butter is in fact not actually butter? I don’t eat that much butter, but I guess it’s what it says in the title?

87. Can you name all 50 American states? Yes. Capitals though? Maybe 70%

88. Have you ever owned a goldfish? Ive had a beta fish and two guppies in second grade.

89. What was your favourite school subject? Orchestra and Literature. A lot of people are surprised at my choice of lit. But I actually love reading and analyzing, though writing papers kind of suck. The problem for me when it comes to writing papers isn’t coming up with a topic, it’s wording it in MLA format. Like I could discuss with people all the time but its hard to organize my thoughts.

90. What was your least favourite school subject? Math. Which is a bit odd because I’m actually not too bad at it. But I’ve had the most mental breakdowns when it comes to math. Geez, AP Calc was a ride. I also cried in Chemistry once.

91. Have you ever passed wind in an embarassing situation? Not that I can’t think of. And Im sure if I have, it would be engraved in my memories.

92. Have you ever played the bongos? Yeah. Pretty fun.

93. Have you ever handled a snake? Yeah it was a smol milk snake. He was a shy boy.

94. Have you ever assembled furniture by yourself? OMG YEAH from Ikea it was such an experience. The satisfaction of sitting in a chair you built all by yourself is so satisfying.

95. When did you last go to the beach? Like... a while ago. A year ago maybe.

96. When if ever did you last go to london? Haven’t been there, but totally would!

97. What do you do to cool down when its hot? Sit inside with a fan, or A/C

98. Whats the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Okay now don’t judge me on this one but i LOVE century eggs. It’s not too uncommon to find them in Taiwan.

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garyh2628 · 5 years ago

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The Global Structure Network‬

‪ ‪OFFICE OF SECRETARY The Global Community: Portfolio Responsible for Investment, the Economy and Living your best life. President and legal owner Office of Signature and Stamps and Approvals. President and Founder of the Global Structure A fully connected Global Structure is a fully United Global Structure. We don’t speculate on the future, Foundation Sector, Founders, Potential Regional Managers, Brands, Hubs,The Family, The Network, The Team and The Family Sector, The Producers Group. Region incl, Brooklyn Hub, Epic Centre. We build it. Thinking big – or not thinking enough? We got this! ‬ ‪We got this! I’m looking forward to my Arnhem discussions. :) We will get this done Intellectual Institutions, we will get this done media and print media we will get this done potential regional managers, we will get this done Brands, we will get this done Founders, we will get this done investors, we will get this done region, we will get this done manufacturing , we will get this done strategic private places, we get this done potential regional managers , yes we will get this done network and statement of intent. With the establishing of the plethora of components that will be called the Global Structure will seek ‬ ‪to fulfill the initial promise with a philosophy that looked primed to thoughtfully channel the seismic demand for the implementation of the Global Mandate that is sweeping the sector in towns and cities across the Globe, and perhaps disentangle it from the elitist appeals long used to buoy it. The Global Structure is on course through incorporation and with the implementation of our Multi Brand Strategy poised to build on our budding status as the voice of a new populism. We will get this done Brands, we will get this done potential regiona Managers, we will get this done Hubs. As Founder of the Global Structure and also legal and regulatory owner of our International Monetary Footprints I’m not intending to sit still after incorporation, and is happy to inhabit those other components on offer in my busy schedule. We will build on this media and print media. If there was anyone who could articulate a meaningful iteration, one with the intellectual heft to persist beyond and for value creating and a further responsibility; it’s me and the team that will be surrounding me and the Global Structure Network. Three years later after our launch, we are a massive success cross sector and Industry. The Global Structure has distinguished itself from the rest of in large part because of what our philosophy and real strength had already purchased . The Global Structure is being praised as “pure, old-fashioned intellectual nuance” that “make obvious sense.” All of which could make Implementation singularly poised to rewrite things to cohere the populist tenor that continues to attract much of the world. Im looking forward to welcoming and hosting you DBFs, Innovation and technology, Regional Finance Law and Mathematics Management Consultancy, Hubs and my Canadian Hub. The Global Structure Network. We got this! If now you’re feeling something like a sense of release, some relief that we’ve passed a milestone and can move on, you’re not wrong. There’s a sort of clarity now. We will continue to show in towns and cities across the Globe that our focus is solely and determinedly so on our private meetings both personal and professional for strategy to the exclusion of all else. We got this because we are focused, ambitious and determined and our resolve is unwavering, resolute and sometimes stubborn. We are pioneers in bringing a whole new class of products to market. The deep personal and professional confidence in me adds up to deep confidence in our wider vision. The fortune we have created during this process now wait, more or less impatiently, for the launch of the plethora of components that will be called the Global Structure. There’s a whole queue of them: The Global Structure through ou philosophy and initiatives and implementation want stakeholders to see us and we want them to make sure that We see them, hear them and that we understand them. Our summit both personal and professional which will allow the Global Structure Network to achieve those architectural strategy and translate our contracts brand endorsements and partnerships to be value creating with speed and purpose but more importantly to meet the first in a life time, seismic demand for the Global Mandate and it’s International Implementation. We got this! We will and must and with an urgency of determination and not overly meandering to incorporate in order to protect our Global Intellectual Property, partnerships both personal and professional, Property Portfolios, Investment Ledger, our International Monetary Footprints both personal and professional, Endorsements, Sponsors, Contracts and to meet the Global demand for the implementation of the Global Mandate both personal and professional both within and outside the sector. Our Strategy on WINE AND COCKTAILS is formidable but not only formidable, it will be Intellectually built and will be designed to facilitate a process of always being your best self as the authority on Intellect and earthquake proof; saturated with academic and intellectual rigour and will be followed after our meetings for strategy and more by a strong legal order. Intellect and true love share many of the same qualities, indestructible, pure and beautiful to behold. I love you, I love you, I love! I love you more. Truth to Tell, Tell it First, Tell it like it is. Family is of utmost importance. Champagne wishes and caviar dreams. Im looking forward to welcoming and hosting you. As the world turns.‬

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apsbicepstraining · 7 years ago

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Ajax return to the Cruyff ideologies as Peter Bosz results new generation

After touching aside Lyon in the Europa League semi-final first leg, the Dutch squad can scent a chance of a first European trophy in 22 years

It is a cold Thursday morning at Ajaxs De Toekomst complex, where the canteen doubleds as a trophy area, the sheer heavines of football insight can be overwhelming, and the atmosphere is unsurprisingly buoyant after the events of the previous evening at the Amsterdam Arena. Nothing is being taken for granted but Ajax can be excused for pity pleased to see themselves after their stunning act in the first leg of their Europa League semi-final. These reasons are supposed to be cagey, cautious liaisons and they have just torn up the write by beating a dangerous Lyon side 4-1.

Out on one of the tones, the team are doing a light-colored improvement discussion. The rondos are over and the time has come for some shooting pattern. Edwin van der Sar is watching from the touchline and the coach extending the sends is Dennis Bergkamp. One of the players to catch the eye is Justin Kluivert, a young winger who hinders finding the top angle with eerie calm.

It is a scene that summing-up up Ajaxs philosophy, with each reputation representing the a part of the clubs someone, and the past and present combining to create a brighter future. Bergkamp is the cerebral genius who ogles as if he could still do a job on the pitch, Van der Sar the former goalkeeper who has become an unlikely marketing expert and Kluivert the teenage son of the man who tallied the triumphing aim when Ajax won the last of their four European Cups by beating Milan 22 years ago.

The manager is abroad. Peter Bosz, who was so mesmerized by Ajax in the 90 s that he would drive from Rotterdam to Amsterdam to watch Louis van Gaals training sessions and whose principles developed from his heaving scrapbook of Johan Cruyff articles, expends the morning inside its term of office, pinpointing neighbourhoods for improvement before Thursday darkness second leg at Stade de Gerland.

He is worried. Alexandre Lacazette, Lyons star striker, is fit again after a thigh trauma. I already ascertained five or six times where if my champions accept like they were digesting yesterday, against Lacazette he will score, Bosz says. I have to show them.

Not many guilds can match this level of patrimony, which justifies the romance attached to the thrilling resurrection that has taken Ajax close to their first European final in 21 years, an achievement realise even more impressive by how they are staying true to their identity: seven members of the starting lineup against Lyon were 21 or under.

For the time being, of course, they cannot hope to take part in the latter stagecoaches of the Champions League. Van der Sar announces it a playground for the rich and famous and Ajax know to their cost how much money talks in the modern period, how market coerces have conspired against them and interested the most difficult squads in the richest leagues. For a society of the stature of Ajax, its been too long that we were away from the international platform, he says.

Edwin van der Sar, formerly a goalkeeper and now the CEO of Ajax, and the organization manager, Peter Bosz. Image: Chris de Bode/ Panos Pictures for the Guardian

One of the most significant goalkeepers in Europe during his playing eras , now Van der Sar is one of the Ajax enormous striving to turn Cruyffs vision of how the game should be played into a reality. Bergkamp, Richard Witschge and Aron Winter are on the coaching personnel, and Marc Overmars is the technological director. Jaap Stam worked with the defenders before moving to Reading. He taught me how to use my limbs, Jol Veltman, a veteran in this crew at persons under the age of 25, says. I was too shy in struggles. He said dont smash-up in but use your arms.

They are a fascinating radical who regularly collaborate and debate football. There is no shortage of minds. Thats the entertaining event, Van der Sar says. It is not always easy but we speak as one voice. We have a technical heart.

Intriguingly, however, Van der Sars capacity is not on the pitching. Marketing, rather than coaching, appealed to him after he adjourned. Now the former Manchester United No1 is responsible for increasing Ajaxs financial competitiveness. They do situations differently here.

When I got a call from Johan Cruyff and Dennis Bergkamp two months after I retired, this is only the relevant recommendations that they had for the team, to accompany an ex-player into the directors power and eventually as the central male, he says. Those six years at United showed me what a club involves. You necessary commercial-grade revenue and revelation. I have brought that a bit, get three Chinese sponsors. Its trying to connect two worlds. Thats why we want a footballer as a CEO.

While Van der Sar watches instructing from great distances for 10 instants, Bosz eventually emerges from the main structure shortly after midday. He is looking like an inspired appointment. His predecessor, Frank de Boer, won the name in each of his first four seasons but Ajax faded in his final two safaruss and manufactured little impact in Europe. Bosz has energised the team since his arrival in the summer and is favourite, despite expend five years at Feyenoord as a player.

Ajaxs detested Rotterdam competitors are likely to triumph the Eredivisie, despite their 3-0 defeat at Excelsior last weekend. They are a spot above Ajax with one equal left but optimism crowds the Amsterdam Arena these days. Boszs young squad started nervily against Lyon but the noise never expired down during an tricky opening 20 times. The devotees cherish what they are watching.

Bosz cannot stand negative football. He was a defensive midfielder a destroyer but that is not his managerial mode. When I consider my team only defending and destroying like I did I will not enjoy it, he says. I made when Im on the bench at the least I will give myself a glad afternoon. If I grant myself a joyous afternoon, I can give it to the fans.

In an repetition of Pep Guardiolas Barcelona, Bosz privileges a feverish pressing competition. Barcelona have a three-second convention, he says. Were not Barcelona, so I make two seconds on.

Bosz chortles. The five-second govern is something that if you lose the pellet, this is the best moment to get the dance back again. The resist necessity more or less five seconds to get in the right points. We have to get wise back right away.

The 53 -year-old is an admirer of Guardiola. His favourite work is Pep Confidential, Marti Perarnaus account of Guardiolas first season at Bayern Munich. He learned from Guardiolas attention to detail, how he would work out in advance which resist actor was always free-spoken on the attack. I always thoughts Bayern Munich is such a strong team that you dont have to watch for the opponents for two or three days, Bosz says.

There are similarities between Bosz and Guardiola. Boszs pundits accept his high-risk programme asks for hardship but his principles have not changed since his first responsibility at lowly AGOVV, from where he went on to enjoy success at Heracles and Vitesse Arnhem.

What they call naive is that my defence was on the halfway cable with a lot of space at the back, Bosz says. But you have to organise really well. If you do that, you have the five-second rule. You lose the ball and press them immediately, then its possible. If you look at our concerts in Europe, yesterday was[ exclusively] the second duration “were having” confessed in our stadium.

That level of severity asks mental sharpness as well as physical fitness. Any player who permits his head to put after wealth is lost knows himself on Boszs wrong side. Dont be disappointed in yourself, he says. Dont be disappointed in your team-mate.You have to press. This is the moment. Not one participate. The whole team. If you do that privilege, you will not relinquish. We have young players, so when we lose the ball, in their recollection, they go back immediately because they have to defend. My way of thinking is we go forward immediately because we want the pellet back.

Bosz should not be mistaken for a foolish idealist. He is focused on preserving organisation and expends hours poring over parallels to find apparently innocuous mistakes. He does not smile much and his mother tells him to chortle more on television but he insists he is a positive guy. But I am also critical, he says. “Were not receiving” such thought as a perfect activity. It doesnt exist. It will never exist.

What about when Barcelona Beat Real Madrid 5-0? There were a lot of things in video games that they didnt do well. I look on the computer and I write down the right-back, ah, he is too high.

The five-second rule works only if Ajax are alert to danger when they have the projectile. Bosz calls this rest defence. There may be 50 situations “weve got to” do well, Bosz says. First I explain to my participates how we will performance. Then I will show them an living of residual excuse. Then clips of training and the game. Then we show them the mistakes we make and what we have to do better. You also show them when the pressing activity was astounding. We show them clips from big teams in Europe. Then the idea is in the heads of the players.

His approach stems from his appreciation of Cruyff. I would just like to one idol, Bosz says. I knew from the age of 16 that one day I will become a manager. So I was educate by writing down what my coach-and-fours were doing right but too reading a lot from Johan. With some pals, we more or less wrote our own book. Every clause, all his interviews were in there. We compiled them and tried to organise them this is for attacking, this is how you defend, this is tactical.

Ajaxs eye-catching young winger Justin Kluivert leaves the training tone. Picture: Chris de Bode/ Panos Pictures for the Guardian

At the start of last year Bosz met Maccabi Tel Aviv, whose technical head is Cruyffs son, Jordi. Just before Johan expired, “hes come to” Israel, Bosz says. We wasted a few weeks together. It was just amazing. Instead of the book that you made, he is talking to you. I was just listening. In 1 week I learned enough for 10 years. He understood two Maccabi recreations and he was there at every improve session.

Boszs head was brimming with impressions but he is aware that not every participate is a football obsessive. This is dangerous for a coach, he says. If I want to give all my knowledge to my players, they will get bored. My communication before the game is not more than five minutes. Its important from those 50 situations that I pick the right ones.

His players took some convincing at first, specially the defenders, and Ajax descended costly levels early on. Veltman says: It was tough. If the left winger goes to the sphere, you go with him. I was like: Ninety times soldier, its hopeless. But it is fun. Sometimes Im on the pitching merely enjoying it like a follower on the side. Then I get goosebumps.

Veltman is a product of Ajaxs academy, along with the officer, Davy Klaassen, and a younger generation is developing. Kluivert revolved 18 last-place Friday. Matthijs de Ligt, a 17 -year-old defender, recently obliged his Holland debut. Van der Sar says: It has intensified in the last five or six years. We have changed the establishment and set an all the more important emphasis on training and change hours and facilities and coach-and-fours. We instruct more during the first year. Then the schoolteachers come here and then they improve again instead of first attending school and then train. So we have two or three more civilize times than before. Hopefully that will pay off.

Van der Sar known to be shunning a knack exhaust will not is very easy. Klaassen is being links between a summer move. Ajax cannot compete financially with the leading sororities in England, Germany, Italy and Spain. Can they hold on to Kasper Dolberg, their lethal Danish striker, or Hakim Ziyech, their brilliant Moroccan attacking midfielder? Can Overmars impede seeing inexpensive gems such as the outstanding Colombian centre-back Davinson Snchez?

Van der Sar says: We dont have the spending supremacy of other sororities. We want to create our own players through of course here i am money to invest but ideally we want to develop participates. If theyre good enough for the top European grade, you meet the average ages of the players who join the big clubs.

You touch everything in this guild. As a participate I ever had a look at the people doing the laundry or the guy scavenging the boot or the security guards. Its important to feel that everyone is gathering in the same lane. Thats reflective in how the organization acts. You need a good right-back, a good centre-half, a No10 I involve a good operational director, a financial person. Its forming sure everyone get forward. Theres the goal we need to rating. Everything behind me was bad because thats a objective. We need to push.

The Ajax players in exercise. Image: Chris de Bode/ Panos Pictures for the Guardian

Ajaxs scouting must be cunning. Selling Arkadiusz Milik to Napoli for 27 m last year enabled Overmars to smashes the 10 m barrier for the first time when David Neres, a 19 -year-old Brazilian send, assembled from So Paulo in January.

Boszs tough three-year spell as Feyernoords technical director not only allowed him to broaden his mind by passing “the worlds” but also offered him an revelation into Overmarss job.

All Bosz asks from Overmars is that he fetches him ingenious players. I dont care what they did at institution, he says. I congregated some guys who went to university and were not intelligent musicians. Smart actors foresee. Unintelligent players react. Always. If you think faster, you are faster on the field. If you react, you are always too late. Just knowing that going to happen , not whats already happened.

This is the Ajax way. It goes back to Cruyff. We have to be different, Bosz says. Its the only route we have a chance.

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hazeldough · 7 years ago

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i........ have a lot of feelings about tpodg with the announcement of the film adaption

disclaimer: i’m not mlm, so i can’t speak about that part of its narrative in place of mlm. plus, the film adaption was only recently announced and we don’t really have any details on it except that it exists and is set to have female leads.

and while i’ve done my share of analysis on the book and some of wilde’s history and really passionate about both, there’s a lot i dont know yet or may be misinterpreting. my opinions and pov about tpodg and oscar wilde are subject to change the more i analyze the book and read about wilde’s life through his writings and the transcripts of his trials, so i’m open to reading other people’s opinion on the novel and film!

also, i got carried away and even busted out the copy i annotated in, so this got super lengthy. it’s mostly me reanalyzing the book after stepping away from it for a few months.

oh, and spoilers ahead.

(i spent about 2 hours on this and it’s 4:27 am now.......... im already yelling @ a future me who is procrastinating on an essay, looking back at this moment thinking “hey, i wish u could put some of that focus and research into this thing right now” and hey......... hard same, buddy)

anyway.

i just want the film adaption to not lose the essential themes and messages that come with tpodg and the weight it carried in wilde’s life.

it’s already not the best lgbt rep with its leads being assholes (dorian & henry) or (spoilers) ending up dead (basil). granted, the victorian era wasn’t the best time to make revolutionary strides in normalizing lgbt+ media, but it still was a novel that was written by a gay man that time period, drawing from his own experiences.

wilde’s works primarily criticized english culture and society’s tendencies to put up a front for the public to save face for their personal lives.

“My dear fellow, you forget that we are in the native land of the hypocrite.“

“Dorian,“ cried Hallward, “that is not the question. England is bad enough I know, and English society is all wrong. That is the reason why I want you to be fine. You have not been fine.“

Dorian & Basil (Chapter XII)

tpodg was no exception since it featured a lead who was groomed to believing that the downfall of others was the ultimate symbol of his love towards him and was eventually able to abuse/manipulate people on the regular through his charisma and get away with it because of his privileges.

“Someone has killed herself for love of you. I wish that I had ever had such and experience. It would have made me in love for the rest of my life.“ (Lord Henry Wotton, Chapter VIII)

and it’s not like no one was aware that dorian had major red flags around him. because they did.

“Women who had wildly adored him, and for his sake had braved all social censure and set convention at defiance, were seen to grow pallid with shame or horror if Dorian Gray entered the room.“ (Chapter XI)

“Why is it, Dorian, that a man like the Duke of Berwick leaves the room of a club when you enter it? Why is it that so many gentlemen in London will neither go to your home nor invite you to theirs?... Why is your friendship so fatal to young men? There was that wretched boy in the Guards who committed suicide. You were his great friend.“ (Basil Hallward, Chapter XII)

(that whole paragraph is just basil talking about how men are afraid to be associated with dorian, there’s way more stuff, but i felt that info was enough)

even though there were consistent and frequent rumors that surrounded him. no one believed that this cherub looking guy was the reason that everyone who interacted with him either had their reputation ruined for life or were driven to suicide.

(spoilers) basil wasn’t an exception to this, not believing that all the rumors surrounding his friend, muse, and for a lack of better term crush were true. he was so blinded by his love that dorian was capable of bringing on ruin ultimately led to his death.

“But you, Doian, with your pure, bright, innocent face, and your marvellous untroubled youth-- I can’t believe anything against you.“ (Basil Hallward, Chapter XII)

even dorian’s motives in murdering basil was a result of his own misattributions. instead of taking ownership of his own behavior, he placed blame on basil and his portrait instead.

“The friend who had painted the fatal portrait to which all his misery had been due, had gone out of his life.“ (Chapter XIII)

and when dorian was close to confessing what he had done to his confidant, the person arguably more responsible than basil for leading him to his lifestyle? he didn’t believe dorian either.

"What would you say, Harry, if I told you that I had murdered Basil?”

(...)

“I would say, my dear fellow that you were posing for a character that doesn’t suit you. All crime is vulgar, just as all vulgarity is a crime. It is not in you, Dorian, to commit a murder. I am sorry if I hurt your vanity by saying so, but I assure you it is true. Crime belongs exclusively to the lower orders. I don’t blame them in the smallest degree. I should fancy that crime was to them what art is to us, simply a method of procuring extraordinary sensations.“

(Dorian & Lord Henry, Chapter XIX)

after stepping away from the book for a few months, i feel like some reevaluation is due. i initially approached the book thinking that it would end up with an ambiguously happy ending, having only heard slivers about it and knowing that it was written by a gay man. i guess the part of me that’s very invested in good redemption arcs and lgbt books in ap eng lit just wanted a book to read that didn’t feature weak character development and/or heteronormative relationships. the closest books i got were their eyes, atss, and tpodg.

but now that i’m looking back at it, most likely unpopular opinion: i personally think that tpodg isn’t a lgbt story. (even if it was, it’s not the best representation for lgbt characters since it has a lot of tropes that we now see as overused and negative)

to me, it’s just a story that has lgbt characters. meaning that while the novel focused on dorian, it focused on his morality, not his sexuality. dorian knew who he liked, since it was heavily implied that dorian had male and female lovers. the story wasn’t focused on his romantic or sexual relationships, but on how his morals took a nose dive as he developed into a grade-A fuck boy using his multiple failed relationships as evidence of that.

i’ve come to understand that character development doesn’t always mean getting a redemption arc. good character development is a character starting from point A and actively moving towards point B with minor interference by other characters. most of the time, it’s a character going from morally neutral/bad to good. this time, it’s a character going from neutral to bad.

i do agree that there’s a huge imbalance of lgbt characters being portrayed as predatory and abusive instead of flawed and needing of development, adding on to preexisting homophobia that’s rampant in most cultures. i also agree that there needs to be more positive representation of lgbt characters, by lgbt people, for lgbt people.

at the same time, tpodg was written before we could even safely discuss and address these issues in public. i’m saying that because wilde got straight up jailed for “gross indecency” for just being a gay man existing. but i don’t think wilde was unaware of the repercussions he’d face when he stated that being gay was normal. most of his works were about calling out the hypocrisy of english society. even in his own testimony at trial, he stated:

"The Love that dare not speak its name" in this century is such a great affection of an elder for a younger man as there was between David and Jonathan, such as Plato made the very basis of his philosophy, and such as you find in the sonnets of Michelangelo and Shakespeare. It is that deep, spiritual affection that is as pure as it is perfect. It dictates and pervades great works of art like those of Shakespeare and Michelangelo, and those two letters of mine, such as they are.”

full quote and transcript found here

wilde was fully aware that he was going to be imprisoned for being gay and accepted it. not because he was ignorant of how society functioned, but because he knew how it functioned. and he was right. and i want to say that he was aware of this even when he was writing tpodg (which was about 4-5 years before his trials took place).

even if tpodg was going to be portrayed with male leads, the film would be in an era with a new perspective about mlm relationships. homophobia is still rampant in multiple societies, but lgbt people and mlm in particular have more of a voice and agency to defend themselves, look for, and create media that is representative of their experiences without needing to pander to heterosexual audiences. it still isn’t perfect, knowing that mlm still have trouble telling their stories in a field dominated by straight women who only see to use them as objects for fetishization instead of helping them create a safe platform to be heard.

basically, wilde’s context for writing tpodg is drastically different from how it can be interpreted and discussed today vs how it was in his time. based on that, i’m inferring that if writing a negative, heavily implied mlm relationship was deemed criminal enough as it is, i imagine he would have faced even more horrible punishment for writing a positive relationship between two men.

at the moment, we know nothing about the direction the film is going to follow, other than that it’ll be female-led. and, judging from the recent string of female led films (ghostbusters & oceans eight), i’m going to safely assume it’ll be a dominantly female cast, with dorian, basil, and henry being portrayed by women, and them all being wlw. (there’s a better word to describe this, it starts with a p, but it’s 4 AM now and i’m losing steam)

i’m not saying that the movie is going to be free from homophobic comments, but i am saying that it’ll face more criticism for not accurately portraying SGA (same gender attraction) relationship more than it featuring a SGA relationship at all.

even with the lack of information, i feel like if i’m going to be consistent about an opinion it’s this: the any adaption can do is to keep elements of the book while being cognisant of its perspective and purpose.

at the same time, i do want the film to deviate from the novel by being more open about the leads’ sexuality while also addressing the tropes that’s present in the society its set in and how it affects the narrative.

to me, the film doesnt have to be a carbon copy of the novel, it just has to have the same vibe the book gave and to do that, it has to be aware of the issues wlw face in society today but also integrate it into the victorian era setting.

...yes, i know it sounds really confusing but i’ve spent around 2 hours on this already and it’s currently 4:24 AM. i’m doing my best my sleep deprived and coffee fueled brain can do atm. but again, i’m open to discuss this when i’m more put together and see more perspectives on the film adaption.

i am aware that there might not be enough elbow room for that to happen since society’s still pretty homophobic (albeit, not as much as before) as well as time constraints that come with adapting a book to a movie. still though, it’s something i’m interested to see be executed properly.

#aj rambles #listen y'all... i'm just really passionate about this #tpodg #eta:H OLY FUCK I RAN THIS THROUGH A WORD COUNTER AND THE BODY WAS LIKE 1.7 K WORDS #CAN I FOR ONCE FUCKING COOL IT