#im already basically parentless bc my mom has never really been a proper mom
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Oh huh
Well my dad's dead and we've got some weird drama going on with my mom rn, so we don't have anything planned for her for Xmas (usually would do a family xmas meal in the general vicinity of Christmas with her side of the family, but that grandma's in on the drama on my mom's side, so that's not happening)
Which means this is the first Christmas season I'll be spending without Either of my parents. At all.
A little surreal.
#speculation nation#negative/#im already basically parentless bc my mom has never really been a proper mom#but just. hm. interesting.#honestly i wasnt as fucked up about the dad thing as i was fearing. mostly just didnt think much about it.#like obviously i thought about it a lil. but i mean it's been 10 months now. im pretty used to him not being there.#i was also very preoccupied with the crochet cat. not much room for angsting when u gotta crochet for 20 hours in like a day and a half#but now that the cat is done im still not angsting. im mostly just tired.#i have MANY thoughts about the mom thing. mostly pissed off. but i'll think about those another time.#will probably have plenty to gripe about when i officially join the fight on my sister's side.#but im not doing that until january. dont wanna stir up trouble over the holidays.#but after that..... yeah. she will be hearing from me that's for sure.
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