#im a professional (lie lie lie)

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

[elliotruinsresidentevil]

this isn’t about him

[slythereen]

btw as a lawyer im literally not allowed to lie to you so everything i say is true and correct. anyway charles leclerc 2024 world champion

[curioscurio]

Reading some more books about autism ! I don't quite know if I'm on the spectrum (a lot of tests seem to lean towards yes) but still! A lot of them make the very lonely person inside me feel seen and understood a little more than before :]

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i do believe.... that i Understand obs enough to use its base functions now...

[fastwalker]

the bro code among doctors is insaaaanee

doc2: "hmmm yes the treatment doc1 prescribed doesn't seem appropriate for the symptoms you are describing, this sounds confusing indeed. BUT I'm sure MY TRUSTED EXPERIENCED COMPETENT COLLEAGUE (these people don't know each other) decided this for a reason and this is the correct treament for uyo after all ^_______^ no I won't reevaluate you, despite having open appointments uwu go die from infection somewhere else"

[sag-dab-sar]

Medical professional: *who has no actual reason to know why I'm using my wheelchair* so why are you using a wheelchair?

Me: Legs don't work well 🫤

Medical professional:

[rosekasa]

does your body ever do a series of concerning things and you're just like interesting. im gonna pretend that didnt just happen

[wrestlezon]

aww man... i'll miss the sheer volume of free high res photos he'd upload to his website, but im glad scott lesh is gainfully employed by aew nowadays. get that bread

[naturalbornlosers]

how it feels to potentially get my DID diagnosis: 🧍🧍🧍🧍���� (<-me and my alters)

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

Apollo with thick eyebrows and freckles and body hair is my truth. He's a small tank also. Wide. He works out bc 1: he does not want to ever be called a twink and 2: it helps with stress and God knows he is STRESSED. Oh also he's trans. Also when his hair is un-gelled it looks almost exactly like trucy's, his lil bunny ears curl around his face all cute and he hates it which is why he gels it back so aggressively

[shadowdancers]

Doing a cursory google search on Wuthering Heights and seeing it thoroughly misinterpreted in articles, reviews and comments has convinced me that society’s collective media literacy is in the shitter. It could not get lower.

How unbelievably dumb do you have to be to read that book as an adult and come to the conclusion that we are supposed to like Heathcliff? And then proceed to blame your fundamental lack of reading comprehension on Emily Bronte??? Heathcliff’s odiousness is one of the constant facts that the novel intentionally establishes from the very first chapter. If you overlook that, then all the other themes are going to fly over your head as well.

And then of course there’s the misogynists in major publications dismissing Emily Bronte as a stupid horny girl who was too female to see how horrible Heathcliff really was, and fans of the book as too female to know what real literature is.

It’s not a fucking romance novel - it’s a tragedy about racism and classism, the cycle of abuse and intergenerational trauma. If grown adults don’t understand a novel’s themes, even when they’re made obvious, then I don’t know what to say. It’s hopeless.

[thedrotter]

out of concern about accidentally burrying my art with how many things i want to reblog and say, I've decided to use a sideblog I've had for a while more actively so id like to mention it. because side-blogs are fun!

You can find it as @vacalimpia !!! For anyone who wants to hear me say random things and see me reblog stuff without me accidentally making my art hard to find here hehe

[fatal-blow]

every time i talk about this stuff I'm reeling with the sheer amount of knowledge and how to convey it to the average layperson

but really if i could sum up everything I've learned about muscles, myofascial pain, and hypermobile, it's this:

start practicing how to do things with the least amount of muscles as possible.

[lord-shitbox]

I HATE BEING MENTALLY ILL up at 2am because i want to finish this damn application and be done with it but i really truly absolutely do not know what to say here. the idea that i could be influenced by or involved with other people is so fundamentally adverse to my brain i Cant think of ways other people have affected me MAN I DONT REMEMBER

[trannakinskywalker]

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