#im a big boy i can be brave its ok. just AUUHRGAHGRAUHHHHHH. but its ok its literally fine
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bwueourhghhh
#having this job offer is great and all but its contingent on me doing a few things first that i find deeply embarrassing + humiliating#and its not even like theyre things other ppl would get this much shame from its just that it contradicts my core values a little#and means i have to face up to some shit i dont like thinking abt#and im not fucking crazy like ofc im gonna get it done i need this job i WANT this job#but im gonna be kicking and throwing up and banging my fists against the walls the whole time#im a big boy i can be brave its ok. just AUUHRGAHGRAUHHHHHH. but its ok its literally fine#its funny bc sometimes i overthink things for no reason bc theres no logic loop i can follow that will make it easier but for this#ive stumbled into one that DOES kind of give me a way around emotionally. its all too complicated to explain in tags tho im just going on#at least i dont have to go in until friday so i have that long to psych myself up#anyway i need to finish getting ready and then message some ppl 🫡🫡🫡🫡#my flatmates first day @ her new job today.... i hope its going alright she was kinda mad abt it the last few days#.diaries
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