#im 25 now and we had him since i was like 11

[tikosblogg]

Best friends.

Summary: y/n and Noah are bestfriends/house mates and y/n is an INNOCENT virgin, but she has been so horny for days, but can’t seem to satisfy the urge. So Noah offers his help.

Warning: guided masturbation, fingering, oral (f receiving), soft dom Noah, praise. Nothing crazy, actually kind of sweet, talk about growing up religious.

A/N: I’ve had this thought for DAYS. I finally decided to write it all out. Kind of short, sorry about that. Please enjoy!

“FUCK THIS” I groaned, pulling my hand out of underwear. I’ve been at this for an hour and half now. Nothing is working. My fingers, my brand new vibrator, porn. NOTHING is getting me off. Probably because I haven’t really done this before a week ago.

I am a 25 year old woman…and virgin. Now before you judge, it’s not all my fault. I grew up in a super religious family. Church every Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday. My parents were so extremely strict, I never had freedom. I was never able to do anything, or go anywhere. I never had friends, unless they were from church. Then there was the number one rule “NO BOYS.”

As soon as I turned 18, I fled that house. I went to college. I never went back. I don’t have a great relationship with my parents because of that. So as a result of growing up the way I did..even at college I didn’t really have the social skills to make friends, or meet any guys…

I just stuck to studying, and eventually graduated. Then I started working as a full time producers assistant. That’s how I met Noah. He was in the studio one week, working on some tracks. I was there the whole time. We talked a lot, got to know each other. We became great friends. I met the rest of the band, we got a long really well.

Now here we are 2 years later, I moved in with Noah and the guys. I ended becoming Noah’s personal assistant, and the rest is history. I groaned rolling over to check the time on my phone. 11:30pm. I sat up kicking my comforter off, and sliding out of my soaked panties making my way to the kitchen. The whole house was dark, and quiet.

The boys just got done with the tour, so all the guys went home to see their families. It’s just me, and Noah. He’s definitely passed out in bed by now. I padded across the cold tile, grabbing a cup from the cabinet. I filled it up with water, and hopped onto the kitchen island. I chugged the water down, placing the empty glass beside me. Dropping my face into my hands, I let out another sigh.

I couldn’t stop the tears of frustration from falling down my cheeks. I have all this pent up frustration that I can’t do anything about it. Probably because I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t know why I didn’t start trying to get to know myself sooner. Growing up the way I did, and then going without as long as I did…I just never had the urge.

Ever since I moved in with Noah, I’ve experienced all these different feelings. Im not blind, Noah is my best friend, but he’s hot. Probably the sexiest man to walk this earth. Like when he walks through the house without a shirt on? It feels like my entire body is on fire. When he calls me sweetheart? Instant butterflies. One time he hugged me, and his hands were just above the top of my ass and I almost lost my mind.

I continued to let silent tears escape, until a soft voice made me freeze. “Y/N?” My head shot up, looking towards the hallway. Noah stood there in his joggers, his hair a mess. He wore a concerned look on his face, as he walked over to me. “What’s going on sweetheart?” He cupped my cheeks in his hands, gently wiping my tears with his thumbs.

I shake my head, giving him a small smile. “It’s nothing. I’m fine, I promise.” There is no way I’m telling him. Oh you know, just can’t make myself cum. So I decided to come in here and cry about it. “You’re obviously not fine. Please, tell me.” He spoke so softly. He readjusted to stand between my thighs. He was so close, I could feel my heart speed up, and my face flush. Quickly remembering I’m not wearing panties. Noah and I have always been able to be honest with each other, but this is humiliating.

He knows I’m a virgin, but the idea of telling him I can’t even get myself off is next level embarrassment. “Everything is okay. I’m just…” the words caught in my throat. One of his hands left my cheek, landing high up on my thigh. “Just what?..” His hand felt hot to the touch. I could feel my pussy throbbing. He has no idea what he does to me. God I really need to stop thinking about him this way. It doesn’t help when he’s this close to me.

I closed my eyes, letting out a soft sigh. Nuzzling deeper into his hand, I continued. “I’m just frustrated.” He lifted my face up towards his, sliding his hand up and down my thigh, in a comforting way. Only it didn’t feel too comforting. “Frustrated about wha-“ he stopped mid sentence, as I tried squeezing my thighs together only to be stopped by his body still standing between them.

I quickly squeezed my eyes shut in embarrassment. His eyes moved from my thighs, back to my closed lids with a stern look. I was caught. He is about to laugh in my face, and walk out. I slowly opened my eyes, to Noah’s looking straight at me. They looked two shades darker. I decided to try and explain myself.

“I can’t….i tried to ..” I dropped my head in shame. I know I can trust him. I don’t know why this is so hard. He pulled me closer until my head was against his chest. “You tried to what?” His voice was just above a whisper, as he ran his fingers through the side of my hair. “I tried to..to touch myself and….” He nodded his head encouraging me to continue. “I’ve tried for a week straight, but it’s not working. I’m getting frustrated. I can’t take it anymore.”

I let out a loud sob shoving my face deeper in his chest, wishing I could shrink myself so small I’d disappear. I realize I’m probably being very dramatic, but I just don’t care anymore at this point. I’m going insane. After a few seconds of silence, Noah finally pulled away bringing us face to face. He wiped the rest of my tears before softly speaking. “What have you tried?”

I shook my head between his hands with a soft laugh. “Everything Noah. My toys, my hands. Nothing is working.” He stood silently, still watching me. Clearly battling himself with what he was gonna say next. “Y/n…I can help you…I mean if you me to.” My eyes widened into saucers. Help me? He wants to help me get myself off?

He noticed the panic on my face, quickly speaking up. “Only if you’re comfortable with it. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to. I just wanna help you.” Before I could even give it a second thought, my head was already nodding yes. He gave me a soft reassuring smile, before helping me off the counter. “C’mon we’ll go to your room so you’re comfortable.”

I grabbed his hand that he held out for me, and quietly followed him back to my room. When we walked in, he led me straight to my bed. He climbed onto it, and settled up against the headboard patting the spot between his thighs. I hesitated before finally crawling on to the bed, and situated myself in front of him. He pulled me back against his chest, before placing my legs over each of his. Spreading mine apart as far as they could go.

“Okay, just relax. Show me what you’ve been doing.” His hushed voice was right by my ear, sending shivers down my spine. He reached around me, slowly pulling my shirt up. I felt his breath hitch when he realized I wasn’t wearing anything underneath. I nodded my head, reaching down to play with my clit. After a few minutes some soft moans left my lips, but I still wasn’t getting anywhere with it.

I huffed, pulling my fingers away. “I can’t Noah…it doesn’t feel right.” He ran his hands down my thighs, putting his lips to shell of my ear. “You gotta focus on the feeling sweetheart.” I groaned at his gruff voice right in my ear. His hand was creeping closer, and closer to my soaked pussy. I bucked my hips up slightly, to finally get his fingers where I needed them most. But he kept them still.

I’m losing my patience, and I don’t care anymore. I need him to touch me. “You have to be turned on enough before touch yourself baby.” Baby….that did it. I finally grabbed his hand, sliding it a half an inch over to finally touch my poor neglected clit. “Please Noah…just please touch me…please make me cum.” I was a whining mess.

He groaned, when his fingers met my soaked cunt. “Fuck baby, you’re so fucking desperate for it huh?” I quickly nodded, letting out the most feral moan as he finally sunk a finger into me. “Oh my god Noah..” he pumped his finger a few more times, pulling out to softly rub my clit with the wetness leaking out of me. “You’re so fucking wet sweetgirl…what made you like this?”

He asked rubbing my clit with a little more pressure. I threw my head back onto his shoulder before moaning out. “You..fuck Noah you did.” He placed soft kisses against my neck, now shoving two fingers inside my pussy. “Yeah baby?” I whined at the slight stretch. I’ve never felt so good. He pumped them deep, crooking his fingers up, causing me to buck my hips at the amazing new feeling.

“You like when I do that baby?” He asked, doing it faster. I moaned nodding my head, not being able to get any words out. I jumped when a smack landed on the inside of my thigh. “Use your words baby.” I let out a breathy yes, as his other hand joined in rubbing my clit. “Oh fuck Noah please, don’t stop.” He pumped his fingers faster, while rubbing my clit, making me see stars.

“C’mon baby cum for me. Cum on my fingers.” That’s all it took, before I was screaming his name finally reaching my orgasm. His hand left my clit, before grabbing my jaw, and bringing my lips to his. We shared a heated, messy kiss while his fingers continued fucking me through my high. “Fuck you’re such a good girl y/n.”

He finally slid his fingers out of me, placing one more gentle kiss against my lips. “Fuck….thank you Noah.” He smiled, before shoving his fingers into his mouth. I watched in pure shock. That had to be the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed. “You taste so sweet baby.” He gently pushed me forward, before turning me around shoving me down on my back.

“Noah what are you doing?” He hovered above me, before sliding down until he was face to face with my pussy. “You said you’ve been trying for a week…you can give me one more right?” I was speechless. He wants to eat me out? All I could do was nod my head, as he slowly lowered down until his tongue was on my now sensitive clit. “Oh fuck!” My hands went straight to hair, tugging it. He groaned against me, sending vibrations through my core.

He swirled his tongue in quick circles around my clit, before shoving it as deep inside me as he could fucking me with it. I bucked my hips, quite literally riding his face. He pulled it away, licking from my hole, back up to my clit. “Fuck Noah I’m gonna cum.” He pulled away replacing his tongue with his thumb, rubbing in achingly slow circles.

“Yeah? Are you gonna be good girl, and cum on my tongue this time?” I whined, nodding my head pulling his face back to my pussy. He ate me like a starved man, until I was coming apart for the second time tonight on his tongue. He pulled away, slumping down onto the bed beside me. We sat quietly, both breathing heavily. I looked over at Noah, and we both had goofy smiles on our faces.

I couldn’t help but notice the large bulge in his pants. Maybe I could learn another thing or two before the nights over, what are best friends for….right?

Part 2????

[miruac]

dating tenya iida - headcanons

masterlist

navigation

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warnings: not proofread at all, extremely self indulgent, implied fem reader

a/n: i love my nyoom nyoom baby

hes such a sweetheart where do we start

everyone writes iida as someone with a stick up his ass but he's just a guy who wants to help and sticks to his morals is that so bad

he's had crushes before, but they never reciprocated his feelings because he's a 'nerd'

in his mind, he told himself that you probably didn't feel the same and he accepted that

but when you told him you felt the same way, he freaked out because he did not expect this to happen at ALL

he went haywire for a little bit, got pretty red to the point where you could almost see steam coming out of his ears

he was such a stuttering blushing mess oh my god hes so cute

he managed to ask you out on a date after like 5 minutes of him freaking out

when you said yes he had the biggest smile on his face and his eyes were so dazed with love

love languages: i do see acts of service and words of affirmation, but he's secretly a physical touch guy

i saw this theory that since he was raised to be the potential ingenium heir, he was busy with training and stuff. so busy that he wasn't really held by anyone so when you hold his hand and cling onto him he just MELTS into you

during your date, you guys went to a little shopping district

spent the day walking up and down the streets, buying little cups of street food all the way

iida was freaking OUT; mentally he was like "ohmigodimonadatewithaprettygirlwhatdoidoWHATDOIDO"

but he calms down after the first hour, and is busy relishing in your presence

when your knuckles brush up against his he freaks out again and gets so red and stiff

he literally doesn't pull away, and he hesitantly links his pinky with yours to test the waters

and obviously you guys end up hand in hand, walking out of the shopping district

while you were window shopping he saw this pair of matching bracelets, and he bought it for you guys

if you looked at anything for a long amount of time but objected to wanting it, he listed it mentally

a couple days later you get a package signed by anonymous, but you recognize the handwriting

you open it and its everything you wanted during your shopping spree with iida

when you ask him about it, he declines but he has a smug face on the for entire day

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2nd a/n: guys IM SO SORRY THIS CAME OUT SO LATE....my birthday was literally today like its almost over as im writing this right now...was forcibly dragged out of my house to celebrate so here i am finishing this at god forsaken 11:25 p.m...anyways, i hope you all like these headcanons :3 miru signing off!!

[iantos-coffeemachine]

read the torchwood archives book today, and felt like sharing some things because this book gave me a headache (ft the ages of tw3 members and when they allegedly got recruited. "allegedly" because the consistency is bar to none and must be taken with a very large grain of salt).

tldr: information is very inconsistent and i would trust information given in the show more than from this book about timelines any day. i apologise in advance if none of this makes any sense lol

explanation under the cut cause this turned out to be much longer than i thought it would be lmaooo

reblogs always appreciated, helps the post circulate 🫶

these are all documents in the torchwood archives book where it says each member's date of birth (among other info) where it does state clearly that ianto is the youngest (1983) but what i Wasn't aware of was that owen was born only a year (+ 6months) before him

here is also a note from the margin on owen's page

now this is where it gets confusing. because s1 came out in late 2006-early 2007, i assumed that that would be more or less when they were set (me when im Wrong). s1e10 (out of time) is very clearly set during/around christmas, despite coming out before christmas, and e11 coming out on christmas eve, which obviously throws the timeline off. we know s1 of tw occurs sometime during 2007 before doctor who s3e10/11 (when jack runs off to the tardis and briefly comes back to the main series), so that matches up with the dates written in the margin of the document page.

in s2e12 (fragments), it says that by that point ianto had been working for tw3 for 21 months (or it had at least been 21 months since the first time he met jack, but i feel like its safe to assume those two didn't happen that far apart), and if that happened in early 2007, it would mean that the end of s2 would be set sometime in late 2008-early 2009 which also matches up with when doctor who s4 was set, when again jack leaves and goes to the doctor (we know this is after the end of tw s2 because the only people in the hub are jack, gwen, and ianto, therefore happened after owen and tosh's deaths. also other pretty obvious things im almost definately forgetting about).

anyways all that to say that during owen's fragment (ha) of fragments, it says he met jack 4 years before late 2008/9ish, and then had spent "months" looking for jack which would set katie's death at around 2004/5, and his torchwood recruitment at mid-late 2005 but. that doesn't make any sense if in the note in the margin it says 2006.

yk what Also doesn't make any sense? tosh apparently joining tw3 in 2005 (and other things mentioned in the tw archives). because we know fragments was set in 2009 at the latest, where it states that tosh got arrested by UNIT 5 years prior, which would mean at the latest in early 2004, which again contradicts the tw archives.

tosh apparently got arrested by UNIT in early 2005ish, which would make it a year later than possible if fragments is in fact set in 2008/9 and her arrest happened 5 years before it. her being held in UNIT makes this worse cause it would mean she joined tw3 somewhere in mid-late 2005, which makes sense with the dates given in only the book, but with nothing else outside it, since the latest it could possibly be if we followed the show would be 2004.

because of the inconsistencies of recruitment dates (and birthdays of everyone apart from ianto and suzie, but i will Not be getting into that rn), it's pretty difficult to put exact dates on recruitment, but what i've generally managed to gather according to information from the book (and other snippets of lore i can remember off the top of my head) is:

owen: joined tw3 2005 or 2006, making him around 23yrs old when recruited, but is stated to have been born in 1980 in s2e13 (exit wounds) so possibly 25/26.

tosh: joined tw3 either in 2004, or 2005, making her around 28-30yrs old, but stated to have been born in 1981 in exit wounds, so possibly 24-25.

suzie: joined tw3 anywhere between 2000-2005, making her 27-32yrs old at recruitment.

gwen: joined late 2007, making her 29yrs old.

ianto: joined tw3 early 2007, making him 23yrs at time of recruitment, would've turned 24 that same year though.

edit: ianto joined tw1 as a junior researcher in 2005, which would make him 21-22yrs old at the time.

in conclusion: the book seems pretty inconsistent with information. birthdays, recruitment days, loads of other things are off, so despite having spend almost a whole day compiling information for this post from this book, i don't think it's a very trustworthy source for timeline stuff (or much else really). i don't think the writers really bothered with making the timeline consistent and accurate because, let's face it, most fans probably don't care enough to make a complete and accurate timeline down to months and years for a spin-off show from the mid-late 2000's. if you're still reading this, you deserve financial compensation. won't be the one providing it though.

[soupthecoolest]

CnD!

alright! so CnD, or "Creation and Destruction" is my homebrew "dnd" campaign!! i have dnd in quotes just cause. well my autism got too strong and i made an entire handbook with my own mechanics LMAO so it's really it's own Thing at this point. which is super cool n fun. after everything's been wrapped up i might publish that handbook but WE SHALL SEE.

anyway CnD is my own personal excuse to make my friends rp with me and my crazy ocs. SO.

it all started when the 11 party members crashed on the beach in a town they'd never seen before. looked totally normal until at the end of the first session they found a portal!

jumping in, that just... kept happening. small adventure, portal, repeat. with no end in sight. as the party began questioning why all this was happening, they met these two little FREAKS named mayhem and maelstrom. (i'll add all refs i have below!!)

anyway mae n may mentioned an elusive “She” that they’re working for, which led my players down an insane conspiracy rabbit hole in which they guessed 90% of hullabaloo’s vibe based on a PRONOUN. ONE PRONOUN I DROPPED I CAN’T TELL THESE MFS ANYTHING

next, they met pandemonium, (@weedsmokingbfs's oc!!! owe you my life muppy) who told them that: these portals aren't taking them place to place, it's transporting them around purgatory. and they've all died.

since then it's been up to the party to navigate their purpose, how to escape, all of it.

then they met bedlam, who explained to them this crazy prophecy and the reason they're all trapped there, which connects to a decision he made 800 years earlier.

enter callie.

my god this is so much to explain IM CRAZY ok. so callie and dee (@percexe) had been meeting in the void for centuries. he'd see callie there when he died and never knew why. 2 idiots had an unspoken pact to not talk about their pasts, but boy they should've!

it would've revealed that callie is actually named chaos, and directly related to all the other crazy clowns they'd meet across the campaign.

they're called the Story, the main 6 pantheon of gods i've set up in this universe! so we've got (in order of like. "hierarchy")

mayhem and maelstrom: gods of war and balance (he/they)

pandemonium: trickster god of illusion (he/it)

bedlam: god of magic and prophecy (he/him)

hullabaloo: goddess of joy, day, and spontaneity (she/her)

chaos: goddess of narration, night, and tradition (she/he)

the Story are basically the worlds most fucked up family, all considering each other brother and sister. in the beginning they were fine, but as time went on things just naturally got more and more messed, and now everything is just a nightmare

chaos and hullabaloo are kinda a tier above the rest of the story, part of their own subset called the Storytellers.

hullabaloo wanted more power and betrayed chaos, trapping her in the void for eternity, as she wanted to rule the universe herself. which all circles back to how callie met dee.

in the void, chaos didn't feel like himself and took on the name calypso, which is how she introduced herself to dee once they met.

and nobody found out anything out of a series of insane miscommunications and lack of info! what fun!

but now in the campaign timeline, everyone's basically caught up. we've finished the first season and are heading into the second in a couple weeks!!! also excuse if this feels rushed at all it's because it is <3 LMFAO there's just so much with CnD, this barely scratches the surface.

there's so much i couldn't cover here like the prophecy binding the party to purgatory, bedlam's entire role in that, the mages, etc. we're like 25 sessions in and so far i've planned 40 more. i am SO normal!!!!

PLEASEEE ask about it if you're curious!! im so insane about my campaign it is my pride and joy :]]

in order there: hullabaloo, chaos, bedlam, pandemonium, and mayhem and maelstrom! ART CREDS for pandemonium and may&mae refs @weedsmokingbfs !!! once more muppy i owe u all my beans

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 71. brb x oc

a/n: GOD im sorry I LOVE WRITING ROOSTER BEING A DAD

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff, Rooster being dad(dy) material

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/

25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

/65/66/67/68/69/70

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

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-

Imagine his surprise when Beatrice let him know that the blanket was actually folded and they could lie down and cover themselves with it? The weather got a bit colder but neither of them planned on leaving yet, they were just looking up at the night sky, her head on his shoulder and his hand brushing up and down her bare back, his middle finger following the line of her spine slowly.

Their clothes were safe from sand since they were all in the basket, so they didn’t have to worry too much about those things right now. He blinked when her voice quietly called his name, turning to face her only to see her gentle smile and red cheeks, “Are you okay?”

His eyes soften as his hand continues it’s up and down trailing, “I am. Are you?” she nods with her cheek still resting on the curve of his broad shoulder, cheeks flexing the more she smiled, “You really overdid yourself.”

“Thank you.”

“You are welcome,” he taps the tip of her nose when he says that, watching as she scrunched it up with a giggle, “Your ideas are always welcome, you know that.”

Beatrice hummed happily, nuzzling his skin and curling more against his body under the blanket, now the cold finally touched her body like cold needles piercing her skin, “I’ll remember that.”

“Do you want to go home?”

She just nuzzled him even more, “Not yet, we have a little bit of time before leaving.” she whispered, “Let’s just…enjoy this.”

Bradley smiles down at her, kissing the top of her head and sighing when his head falls back on the dark blanket, he could feel the sand moving under his head’s weight but nothing touched his body or hers for that matter.

It was probably the most romantic they’ve been if he had to admit, after all…when was the last time he made love under the stars? The answer would be never. “You know,” he begins, “I was thinking about this for a while.”

“Hm?”

“Outdoor stuff.” he mutters, still caressing her back, “I was thinking of doing this while we camp or something, now that I know you like stuff like this,I think we should enjoy the possibilities.”

Beatrice lifts her head from his shoulder to have a better look,holding herself up by folding her arms on the blanket, “We did plan on hiking and going camping.” he nods, “...well…should we keep the idea for the near future?”

He just chuckles, rubbing her chin with his thumb, brushing it over her lower lip, “I think so…fuck you are so beautiful.”

Beatrice smiles more, her eyes doing an almost perfect half moon shape when he says that, even if she was no longer sweating there was a beautiful sheen that made her look like she was covered in glitter. She kissed the pad of his thumb when he used it to brush over her mouth, leaning into his palm when he touched her cheek, “You are still planning on making me blush,huh?”

“Always,gorgeous.” he says, “There’s no better feeling.”

She laughs quietly, dropping back down against his shoulder, drawing random shapes on his chest as she inhales the mix of cologne and sex clinging to his skin, “You know.” he hums, signaling he was paying attention, “I never shared stuff like this with anyone…well,maybe Shells sometimes but…I don’t know,I felt weird saying it.”

“Because you felt people would judge you?”

“Yeah.” she whispers, “As you know I’m not…experienced. So most of the things I know I saw in movies or books…or fics online, so when this idea popped up I just kept it hidden deep inside of me…but you help me deal with those thoughts.” he gave her a knowing smirk, one that made Beatrice scoff, “Not like that. I mean you make me feel safe sharing them with you.”

If there was one compliment he was never tired of hearing was how Bea felt safe around him. “You know, I feel the same about you,gorgeous.” he kisses her forehead, “Because there are things I never shared with anyone either…I guess I wasn’t comfortable just as you were.”

Beatrice smiles again, leaning down to kiss him only for her phone to buzz. She sighs into his mouth, pushing herself upwards with an apologetic smile, “I think that’s our cue to leave.”

“Yeah,I guess so,” he grunts, pushing himself to a sitting position as she leans forward to grab her phone, blowing some grains of sand that stuck to the TMNT phone case before checking the messages, “I’ll get our clothes.” he says, rolling on his stomach and stretching his arm enough for it to reach the handle of the basket, pulling it towards him so he could grab the balled up clothes inside.

He carefully placed her dress first next to her, then grabbed his own pants and underwear, followed by his shirt, “My mom said Nicole is watching tv.”

“Yeah? What sort of kid shows are on this time of night?”

“Oh,none.” she smiles, “She is watching some Disney Classics, like Robin Hood.” Beatrice places the phone aside to grab her dress, quickly slipping it over her shoulders and down her arms, before she rummaged in the basket and pulled out a small black bag that he was sure only contained their napkins…but he shouldn’t be surprised when she pulled out a pair of panties from inside.

“So you had everything planned.”

Beatrice giggles, standing to her feet to put on the red panties, letting the elastic snap against her hips, wriggling a bit to get it snug against her ass, “I did.” she says, “I had to. I wasn’t going to my parents’ house completely commando.”

He laughs, putting on his underwear and pants, “Fair.” he stands up to put on his shirt, running his hand through his hair as it passes through the collar, “That’d be strange.”

“You’d love it.”

“I would love it.” he agrees with a smirk, “But the situation…wouldn’t be the best.”

They shared another laugh as they cleaned everything up, making sure to leave absolutely nothing in the sand as they left - Bea even turned on her flashlight to check if there were any trash left behind, picking up even pieces of paper that weren’t theirs - before they made their way to the car.

As she placed the basket in the passenger seat, she slapped her forehead, “Oh no! The dessert!” she hurriedly opened to check, the squeak of a styrofoam box opening making him look her way and stop walking to the driver’s door, “Oh…oh it’s okay, oh thank goodness.” he stepped behind her to see what it was seeing that Beatrice was almost crouched with relief.

“...is that…” he blinks, “Mr.Scoops’ logo?”

“Yeah.”

“You got us ice cream?”

“It’s not ice cream.” she begins, “It’s an ice cream cake with hazelnut brittle and belgian chocolate. Thank God it’s still intact.” and he muttered ‘that’s just ice cream.’ as Beatrice slowly turned around to give him a playful glare, “Keep doing that and you won’t get a piece.”

“What? Hey,come on.”

Beatrice giggles, his pout happens so naturally she wasn’t even sure if he was aware of it. She wraps her arms around his neck, meeting that pretty pout of his with her lips and smiling against his mouth, “I���m not that evil.” she whispers, “Now come on, we have to go before my parents set out a search party for us.”

Bradley kisses her one more time, taps her ass and then they enter the car, making their way over to the Schiavonis to pick Nicole up.

-

After they got Nikki they slept like a rock, there was no need to stay awake since it was also past their daughter’s bedtime. They were so tired that the night went by a flash, with Rooster waking her up with kisses to her neck and shoulders, making Beatrice smile with her cheeks flushed red, “Morning,gorgeous.”

“Mmmm,it is.” she giggles, rolling around to see his face, “How did you sleep?”

“Great.” he says, “Even better because I can still smell the ocean air  on your skin.”

She just smiles more, cupping his face with her hands to kiss his lips repeatedly,”Can you check on Nikki? I’m going to prepare our breakfast.” She,amazingly,manages to get out of the bed without Rooster trapping her with his arms. He just smirks at her, following the sway of her hips as she walks to the bathroom, fixing the underside of her panties much for his absolute adoration, “What are we having for breakfast?”

“I don’t know,” she says from the bathroom,”What do you want?”

“I can make us some pancakes.” he shrugs even though she couldn’t see it, “To celebrate.”

Beatrice just laughs again, peeking her head out of the bathroom, “You drive a hard bargain, but I wouldn’t mind.”

Rooster pushes himself off the bed,kicking the covers and running his hands through his hair to calm the sandy brown strands down, then walks into the bathroom to hug her from behind and kiss her cheek repeatedly, “Just because I can’t get enough of you.” one final peck to finalize his words and he steps away towards Nicole’s room.

He feels amazing, if there was any way to describe how he was feeling was ‘stepping on clouds’. He stretches his arms above his head, smiling when the joints popped, sighing in pleasure and pain when he feels the scratches from Beatrice’s nails sting as he lifts his arms, “Battle scars.” he tells himself, walking into Nicole’s nursery to see his daughter was sitting up.

“Oh my God! Hi pretty!” Nicole smiles at him, gurgling a laugh, “Hi! You are sitting on your own? Oh my Gosh,I didn’t even think that was possible yet?” she was four years old though,he remembered, there was a chance she’d do this according to some books he read. Eleanor and Jack both climbed out from under the crib to stretch themselves, standing besides Rooster as he picks Nicole up, “Hi baby,hi,” he kisses his daughter’s cheek, then playfully sniffs her neck, making her laugh even more, “Come on,let’s get cleaned up to have breakfast! Are you excited?”

Nicole lets out a shriek-like laugh while shaking her closed fists, cheeks turning rosy and green eyes appearing blue because of the morning light peeking through the curtains. He was humming all the way he was changing her, his humor was so good he knew there wasn’t anything that would put it down, “There you go.” he smiles, kissing her cheek one more time, “All clean and ready for the day,Birdie.”

She smiles that gummy grin that had such a hold on his heart it made him weak. Beatrice was already downstairs, he could hear her messing around with something in the kitchen, “Oh,mommy is up, let’s go greet her, yeah?” Nicole babbled back,almost as if she said ‘yes’, before hugging his neck to put her head on his shoulder.

“My favorite girls in the same room,” he says once he gets close to Beatrice, “Aren’t I just so lucky?”

His wife smiled,kissing his lips and then picking Nicole from his arms, “You are very lucky…coffee is done, by the way.” she nods to the coffee maker, “And I’m going to feed Nikki over there, okay?”

“Sure gorgeous.”

Beatrice looked down at her daughter who was already looking up at her, cheeks red like little cherries and eyes bright, “Hi,Nikki,yeah we are going to have breakfast!”. Beatrice’s phone was face down on the table, knowing no one was going to message her this early in the morning but having it close was good in case someone did.

Aka Shells. Who loved calling her even before she was even half awake.

“What’s the plan today?” he asks, grabbing a few pots and pans from the cabinets, “You going to be at the bar later?”

“Yeah,I’ll help Penny and Shells clean it.” she says, adjusting Nicole in her arms so her daughter could have her breakfast comfortably, brushing her thumb on the side of her face, “Penny is considering hiring someone else.”

“Wait,really?”

“Mhm, at least for the days me and Shells aren’t able to go. Jimmy is fun but he can’t really come every time…so we might help around the new person, just so they know what to do.”

The sizzle of the fresh pancake batter on the pan, followed by his humming was the answer she got. She looked up at him with a smile, “Smells good.”

“Course it does.” he smirks, “Bradshaw Pancakes,gorgeous. The best you’d ever have.” and it was incredible how hearing that again after the time they’ve been together felt so cathartic. When he first cooked her the pancakes they were just a few months into the relationship, never she’d imagine they’d keep the tradition…and now with a baby.

“What about you? What are your plans for today?”

He sighs, tapping the side of the spatula on the edge of the pan as he thinks, creating a little rhythm, “Sleep again, maybe.” he mumbles, “I really,really missed our bed.”

Beatrice laughs, tilting her head to the side in an almost ‘fair’ gesture, looking down at Nicole and gently holding her hand, “No gym today then?”

“Nope.” he chuckles, “I think I worked out enough last night.”

Beatrice gasps, covering Nicole’s ear with her brows furrowing, “Rooster!” he just gives her an innocent look and a shrug, but the obvious boyish grin on his face only makes it obvious he didn’t really worried too much, “...well, I’d want you to rest too, you just got home and…well,there are things to do. Halloween is in a few days! And the neighborhood has a lot of kids! So I need to go treat shopping.”

Beatrice rambled and he just watched her while flipping the pancakes, plating the ones already done - he knew she liked hers a bit more golden with a bit of crisp on the sides - and setting it in front of her, kissing her head, “Good idea,honey.”

It didn’t take long for him to join his girls on the table, sometimes ripping a piece of the fluffy pancake and tossing it to Jack who’d catch it in midair and sit back down hoping to get something else. Rooster then groans, rubbing his eyes, “Fuck…just remembered.”

‘What?”

He inhales tiredly,”I promised Mav I’d help him with his bike. It’s sputtering and coughing like an old man from the 1800’s.” he leans back on his seat, rubbing his eyes, “And I know if I don’t show up he’s going to come here and drag me out.”

Beatrice slowly chews her pancake, Rooster reaching for Nicole once she was done eating, gently patting her back so she’d burp, “It’s been a while since you saw him too.”

“I know.” he says, the gentle ‘thudding’ from his hand on Nicole’s back and his daughter’s quiet babbling added to the conversation, “And I promised him. I can’t back out.”

Beatrice holds her chin up with a hand,looking from him to Nicole, then back at him, “Why don’t you take Nikki?” she asks, seeing his brows furrow, “It’s been so long since Mav saw her too. You can take her there and set her on a safe spot.” she immediately added when his face scrunched into a worried frown, “It’s not like it’ll be that bad,right?”

“...I guess.” but he didn’t seem thrilled, “But I feel like Mav will leave me to work on the bike so he could ‘focus on Nikki’.” he air quoted with the hand burping Nicole, looking back when his daughter finally let it out, thankful for the fabric on his shoulder, “And you know how he is.”

His wife grinned, still holding her chin up, “I do…and I also know you. I know you’d want Nikki to experience different things, Roos…plus, she loves spending time with you, don’t you, honey?” Nicole lifts her head to gurgle a laugh, Beatrice cleans her face with the cloth on Bradley’s shoulder, “It’ll be fun!”

Bradley hums, lips pouting as he sinks a bit into his chair, “I’ll…think about it.”

“Plus…well,maybe there’ll be similarities that Mav will comment about.” he gives her a confused look, “Compare Nicole and you when you were a baby.”

“Oh no.”

“It’ll be really cute.”

“No,no. I’d rather step on glass.” she gives him an amused look, “Listen,I was a dumb kid…okay? I don’t want Nikki to get ideas.”

“She’s four months old,Brad!”

“So?” He holds Nicole tighter against him, “I’ve read that sometimes kids can mirror parents’ activities when they are older…I don’t want Nicole to climb trees and jump from the highest branch!” Beatrice widens her eyes at him with her mouth opening in surprise, “...it happened once.”

Beatrice shakes her head, standing up from the table to grab their empty plates - and the cloth from Bradley’s shoulder- to put everything in the sink, “You don’t have to worry about that because it’s very possible she won’t remember anything bad that Mav has to say about you.” she says, air quoting just like he did, “I think it’ll be fun…come on Roos. Nicole is old enough to learn things-”

“That reminds me, we need to buy those mind toys we saw online, they are very-” Beatrice crosses her arms and smiles, arching her brow at him, “I’m not trying to avoid the subject.”

“Really…then you won’t mind me telling Mav you’ll be taking Nikki with you.”

“There’s no need for that.”

Bea hums, “Right…then maybe we should ask Nikki.” Nicole looks up at her when she hears her name, smiling at her mother, “What do you think Nikki, do you wanna see grandpa Mav?” Nicole smiles more, eyes crinkling and her little hands moving excitedly, “Yeah! You love grandpa Mav, don’t you? And you miss him a lot!” her husband groans, throwing an ugly look over the shoulder towards her.

“That’s cheating.”

“It’s not.” she says, stepping closer to kiss Nicole’s forehead, “You know what’s going to happen? You two will have loads of fun!...Roos, these things will be important to Nicole, she won’t remember them but she’ll have the feeling inside.”

Rooster frowns, running his fingers over his mustache. It’s not like he didn’t like the idea, but…there were a lot of things there, what if she touches something? What if something just gets loose? What if she finds what a wrench is? What if she somehow presses a button? He looks down at Nikki only to see her head tilted towards him, her soft cheek on his shoulder and the precious little smile on her face…

Oh,he was so doomer.

“I swear,green eyed brunettes are my ruin.” he chuckles, sighing heavily, “Ugh…fine. I’m going to take her but Mav better not use her as an excuse to leave me there. You hear me,little missy?” he wags his finger to Nicole’s face, watching her eyes cross as she keeps it within her vision, “Your cute looks might be genetic but don’t use those pretty eyes on Mav. He won’t be carrying you all the time.”

Beatrice smiles from behind them, leaning down to kiss his cheek, “You are an amazing husband.” another kiss, “And an amazing dad…you’ll do great.”

“Thanks babe…” he smiles, “You are doing great too.” they kiss and Beatrice walks away, waving at Nicole one more time before she’s finally walking to the staircase, announcing she was going to take a shower. That left Rooster and Nicole…and the obvious hesitance of calling Mav and letting know they were coming.

[borom1r]

1-25 choose violence ask game ❤️

ALL OF THEM?????? you’re so real for this ty snfnsnbfns. doing LotR bc of course I am

1. the character everyone gets wrong

PIPPIN I HATE TO SAY IT BUT PIPPIN. all those incorrect quote polls that have been posted where pippin keeps fucking winning YALL REALIZE HES AN ACTUAL CHARACTER RIGHT?? with like depth?? and bonds?? and a personality. yall realize that right?????? right??? ik we all love 2 joke but he would not say half of those things

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

ok I personally enjoy both for Boromir BUT if he IS topping. he is a service top. I will die on this hill

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I block ppl for these takes so no screenshots but everyone who thinks Boromir is a villain. if you think Boromir is a villain I will key your car.

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

there is one singular straw and it is bad Boromir takes in the Boromir tag

5. worst discord server and why

I don’t join fandom discord servers bc I love myself too much for that 💗

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

ummm idk? most of my lotr mutuals have different ships from me and it’s all chill. but tbf I’m very selective abt who I interact with now lmao.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

no one yet thank fuck.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Aragorn/Arwen isn’t actually romantic sorry I think it’s fucked up actually. the vibes are off there for SURE

9. worst part of canon

FARAMIR’S “yeah I’m gonna take you from your home and tame you. haha wdym. you don’t need a blade during times of peace.” SHTICK WITH ÉOWYN IN THE BOOKS. UNPACK YOUR BIASES YOU LITTLE FREAK!!!!!!!!

10. worst part of fanon

HM. I will stick with “people who horrifically misinterpret Boromir’s character”

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

at the moment I only have rings of power blocked but I’ve had that blocked since it came out bc if I look at the armor in that show I will commit crimes.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MOVIE!FARAMIR MY SPECIALEST LITTLE GUY OOOOOOOOOO MOVIE!FARAMIR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU he’s so handsome and special and I love him and you WILL all look at him and clap and cheer. it makes me insane that his temptation by the ring mirror’s Boromir’s and he’s actually fucking normal abt the Rohirrim AND I just love him very much :)

13. worst blorboficiation

ummm idk… maybe Frodo

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

HMMM exposing myself but I basically only read Aragorn/Boromir fics lmao + since we’re Choosing Violence the most annoying thing is Boromir just being A Brute. like damn I love the surface level reading of the text maybe try engaging with it above a 1st grade analysis next time 💗

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

hmmmmm idk cuz again I don’t interact w a lot of fanartists so there’s nothing like. annoying. all th ✨motifs✨ I do see r very fun + I like them :)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ummm for Serious, portraying Pippin as Stupid. for Silly, uhhhh Trans Faramir is so real to me I completely forgot cis people both 1) exist in the real world and 2) probably interpret Fara as cis too. i don’t get it :(

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

trans Faramir 🩵💗🤍

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

HM idk. trans Faramir again. also bc I love it, utilizing Old Norse culture for the Rohirrim teehee

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

OK IM MAD THAT FINNISH BOROMIR IS JUST ME. THATS ME. THATS AN OUTFIT I WEAR REGULARLY MINUS THE LONG HAIR. I DRESS LIKE THAT TO BUY GROCERIES. i love him for that tho. I’m also mad that MtG Boromir’s stupid pointy muttonchops have grown on me. freak behavior, keeping his facial hair trimmed in those stupid little points

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

I’m fighting for my life reading the histories rn 😑 I find them very dry for the most part

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

idk? I think there is an appropriate level of hype. but idk if Rings of Power had a lot of hype. if it did, then Rings of Power is my answer

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

idk if it’s IGNORED necessarily but the fact that Boromir carries a Rohirric shield in the films does actually genuinely make me insane 💞 I love that sm

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

UNWILLINGLY?????? idk?? ummmm I think it’s all fine for the most part I’m just A Fag so I don’t write het ships. it’s like a moral thing. Éowyn/Faramir gets a pass conceptually bc they’re T4T to me tho

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

idkkkkkkk I don’t engage w discourse bc I want this fandom to remain pleasanttttt

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

again idk.. I block on sight if I see a Bad Take + then I erase it from my memory so I can continue to live in a beautiful blissful world where I. forgor abt cis people ☺️

[star-mum]

the ages in Teen Wolf make no fucking sense and the MTV writers made it MY ISSUES SPECIFICALLY

insane rambling (and very bad math) under the cut

I was thinking.... the Hales weren't recluses ??? (post fire Derek doesn't count, he's been through stuff) cause Derek went to highschool like normal ??? So WHYYYY (besides convenient writing) doesn't ANYONE REMEMBER THEM ??????

Like yeah Derek was older than the main cast, whatever, but CORA ????? SHE'S THEIR AGE ???? THEY PROBABLY ALL WENT TO PRESCHOOL TOGETHER ???? AT LEAST MIDDLE SCHOOL ????

SO !!! i have JUST NOW decided that Cora, Derek and Laura are 3 years apart from each other. "What about Talia and Peter?" you ask me and if you'd given me a FUCKING SECOND I'D TELL YOU !!! GEEZ !!!

Okay so IF we assume Peter is in his early 20s when Derek is in highschool considering ONLY the actor who played him in the Paige Flashback then okay, fine they're like almost 20 years apart BUT !!! Look at Peter now !!! LOOK AT HIM !!! THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN 4-6 YEARS (depending on how old you think s1 Derek is) (we'll get to that too, hold on) SO !!!! Im gonna ignore that weird casting choice and confidently give Talia and Peter a 13 years age difference, why ? you ask... idk sounds like a good number, I like things in 3s- WRONG !!! I DID EXTENSIVE MATH AND THINKING ON THIS !!!

We're gonna take some liberty here and assume Wolf Born Families are a bit traditional when it comes to kids and stuff SO Talia would've probably had her first kid in her very early 20s BUT we also need to consider that she was The Alpha of the house (and I refuse to believe Hale isn't HER family name) (OH ALSO !! Since the spark passed from her to Laura we can assume, cause I want to, that, at least, the Hale Pack worked as a matriarchy) which demands a lot of respect and work soooo I'm gonna go with her being about 24-25 when she had Laura

WHICH !!! Would've made Peter 11-12, which is not that different from the age gap he has with Talia, so he probably used to look at Laura much more as a sister than a niece (you know for the pain and suffering and drama) SO !!! when Derek was 15, Peter was 29-30 aaaand 29 makes the most sense to me, so I'd go with that!

Please dont get me started on the contradicting age of our "teen" cast !! Scott is 15 and then 18 in 10 months ???? Doesn't make sense !!!! So to ME the teen cast is all 17 in season 1 !!! except for Alison who's a year older and very understandably insecure about turning 19 and still being in highschool. And then in the span of 10 months we roll around to Scott's 18 birthday !! hooray time is linear !!!

All this to say, these are all people around the same age as our main characters AND THEY WERE PART OF THE TOWN !!!! HOW COME NO ONE REMEMBERS THEM ????

Even if we operate on the belief that Derek is, during season one, between 19-22 (which feels correct to me) that still makes the family fire NOT THAT LONG AGO (4-6 years) HOW COME PEOPLE ARE FORGETTING ABOUT IT ALREADY ????

Cora is the same age as EVERYBODY ELSE !!!! did they not go to middle school together ? do they not remember her ? who was she friends with ? Before Paige died Derek was very well integrated into High School culture, we have no reason to believe either of his sisters were homeschooled. Peter was a grOWN ADULT !!! I KNOW THE HALES WERE OLD MONEY RICH BUT DID HE NOT HAVE A JOB ???? DID HE NOT HAVE A LAW FIRM TO WORK AT ??? (recently came across a "Peter Hale had a law degree" post and it's canon to me forever now) Did Laura not pick up her siblings from school not a SINGLE DAY OF THEIR LIFE ????

OH !! WHICH REMINDS ME !! Derek said at some point that the fire happened when he and his sister were still at school and I'm pretty sure that was on s1 so he obviously meant Laura (i don't think the writers had Cora planned from the beginning, she was there to work in Erica's place) BUT !!! What if he did mean Cora, he walked his little 12 yo sister to school because he's Big Sister Laura (18 yo) was away for college at that time !!! And Kate had no choice but to leave those 3 out cause Laura wouldn't have come home without a good reason and Cora went to school at the time was Derek just a different building

This brings me to my (hopefully) final point: what the fuck is Deatons problem ???? He was Talia's emissary, he knew the pack inside and out and they very OBVIOUSLY KNEW HIM !!! HE WAS BESIDE THEIR ALPHA ALL THE DAMN TIME !!! How come Derek didn't recognize him ???? My vague memory on the dialogue between Deaton and Peter in s1 makes it seem like they Knew Each Other, in that ominous way... why didn't Derek ?? He wasn't a small child, he knew Deaton too, he could've remembered him ????

Again... things that feel like they were written into the plot only AFTER s1 aired

[omegasmileyface]

The Forest, the Trees, the Fire I: CATALYST

Chapter 7

chapter 6 was also posted earlier, so go check that one out if you missed it! Authors: @attackradish, @ectolemonades, me. Artist: @/crunchysart

For the full characters list, word count, content warning, and a directory to all the currently available chapters and related content, see the Table of Contents!

full summary: The world outside of Amity Park has learned about the existence of ghosts, and the time for first impressions has arrived. The delicate public consciousness could be disrupted by the slightest ripple. Danny Fenton is being ripped apart from all sides, and when he finally breaks, the ripples will be very big indeed.

warnings: references to racism and classism

words: 2467

AO3 link

first chapter

previous chapter

next chapter

===

January 16, 2007

Jazz was trying very hard to focus on her dinner and not the growing anxiety around her new syllabi when her phone chimed. She had tried to set a boundary that she would never check her phone during meals and take that important rest period away from herself, but it was the first time it had gone off since Christmas. She couldn't resist!

Tucker Foley: (17:20) dannys missing. havent heard frm him since th 5th

Well. That certainly ruined the mood.

You: (17:20) Crap. R we sure that he's not just busy? 11 days is a lot but he's weird like that from time 2 time

Tucker Foley: (17:22) c thats the thing. hes been MIA a lot recently. several days at a time. but im more worried this time bcuz the portals gone

Oh. Oh, shit, that was new.

You: (17:22) The portal is GONE? How do u kno? What happened?

Tucker Foley: (17:23) whole ectomap is diff. not sure. phone call? i can get us some better communication

Jazz was shaking in her dining hall seat. Danny was gone, with no reliable way of getting between realms? Mom and Dad were alone, in the middle of an anti-ghost government incursion, and with their life's work inactive for whatever reason?

Maybe everything added together in the ways she feared, maybe it didn't. Either way, something terrible was either happening or about to happen. She could already feel the guilt weighing on her for not thinking to go back home before now.

You: (17:25) Maybe. I'm coming over tho.

Jazz managed to clean up her dinner and start heading back to her dorm before Tucker called.

"You're coming, for real?"

"Yeah. Clearly stuff's going on in Amity, and I need to be there for it."

"Yeah, but, like, don't you have classes that you can't miss?"

Jazz double-checked that her roommate wasn't in before continuing. "Tucker, my baby brother is missing, while my parents are working with the group that's getting his existence criminalized across the whole country. Why would that not be worth pushing my degree back a bit?"

"Just feels like a waste of loan money, is all."

Jazz shrugged. "I'll just loot Vlad's house and sell all his Packers merch."

"I imagine the feds already beat you to that. Good luck, though."

At least five outfits and two pairs of pajamas, check. Toiletries, check. "What'd they do with all his money, anyway? Maybe it's still out there and you could wire me some of it."

"Why do you think I can do that? I'm not a comic book character, Jazz, I'm a teen with a piracy hobby."

Jazz hesitated for a moment before packing Bearbert Einstein. "Worth a shot. So, what's been up with you?"

"What's been up with me? Oh, you're chatting. We're chatting. You really must not have any friends of your own."

"Tucker!"

"Sorry, just an observation. I'm sorry. Well. I made a little system people in town can use to plan pro-ghost protests and stuff, but otherwise I've been trying to stay out of it, even though it's been a little lonely."

Jazz hummed. She'd better pack a towel. For all she knew, the extras back home had been sewn into some kind of ectophobic parachute.

"Lola got in trouble at school for defending Phantom in front of the vice principal. Like, she had to stay after school while he checked with the GIW to make sure they didn't have to write her up or anything. Fuck that guy, honestly. So my parents have been on edge, and they don't want me drawing any attention. Lola's eight years old, and pretty fuckin' cute too! If she gets in that kinda trouble, imagine what'll happen if they think me or my parents are pro-ghost."

Jazz cringed. "That really sucks."

"Yeah. I know."

She gave the room another quick once-over to be sure she didn’t miss anything she'd need for the next month or two. "How's Sam?"

"Couldn't tell ya. Her parents were pissed when they found out she was leading all those protests, and they moved away."

"Oh. Haven't you been talking?"

"Not really. What would we talk about, anyway? She's still mad because I wouldn't join her on the front lines. She doesn't get it. If she gets arrested protesting, she gets an embarrassing picture in the newspaper and her parents pay a fine and life goes on. If the same thing happened to me, my future would be ruined, forget that I'm not eighteen yet. Nobody employs a Black kid who has a criminal record before graduating."

"I'm really sorry that's something you have to worry about."

"Whatever. It's Sam! I'm sure she'll figure it out in a couple months and immediately pivot to doing the exact opposite. She never turns down self-sacrifice when it makes her look good."

Jazz gathered up her backpack and duffel by the door. "Wow, sounds like you really haven't been getting along at all lately."

Tucker sighed on the other end of the phone. "Honestly, we never would have been friends if Danny wasn't there. He made it make sense somehow. Not that I don't like hanging out with Sam! She manages to keep up with our humor and stuff. But it's hard when there's nobody there to buffer her. …Or me. Probably shocking to hear this from Too Fine himself, but I know I can be kind of a hassle when I lose my impulse control."

"That's a really intelligent thought, Tucker. Maybe it'll help you build new friendships, if you want."

He scoffed. "You really therapy-talking me at seven PM? You must miss Danny bad."

"Could you give me a sec? I need to write something."

"She's deflecting now!" The line went quiet.

Jazz gathered up her roommate's sticky notes and pen. Sorry, Lin. I'm gonna be gone for a while, at least a week. Family emergency. Not sure when I'll be back, but if you see a ghost who looks like me and she asks for my stuff, let her take it. Thanks!

"'Kay. Anything else to say?"

"Not really. I honestly wasn't expecting a conversation. I guess, um… how have you been?"

"Eh. College. Hey, I'll be back in Amity by… midnight. Make sure it's not up in flames by the time I get there?"

"You're driving now? I knew you got your dad's bad road habits! Please don't fall asleep at the wheel, okay? I'll do my best to keep everything un-up-flamed until you get here."

Jazz clipped the seatbelts over her bags, just to be extra sure they wouldn't fly around. "Of course! I've got my soundtrack. Later, Tucker." She shut off her phone and stuck in her favorite hip-hop CD she kept hidden under the passenger seat. Time for a very reasonable amount of speeding.

===

"Huntress!"

Valerie looked down from her latest capture to see the Doctors Fenton, waving their hands like little kids to get her attention. She went down to meet them.

"Yes?"

"We've always been really impressed with your efficiency at dealing with ghosts," said Maddie.

Val thought back to all the times the Fentons had shown up to a ghost sighting already yelling, plotting their every move out loud. Sure, she had better tech nowadays, but she was pretty sure her greatest weapon against ghosts was common sense. "Thank you." Still, not bad to kiss up when it came to making connections. "That means a lot, from professional hunters such as yourselves."

"You may know that we've been working with the Garrison Irving Walker Commission recently," said Jack.

She didn't, but it didn't particularly surprise her.

"Well, we've been wanting to have you come in so we can talk business!"

"And by we," chimed in Maddie, "he means the Commission."

Mentally, Valerie prepped a fake signal to go off on her suit so she had an excuse to leave if she needed. She knew the GIW weren't after her, but she had been sort of avoiding them recently. Just in case. "Business?"

"We're all wondering how you make it look so easy!"

"And how you made that flashy suit!"

"It's not an interrogation or anything, we just want you to share some tricks of the trade if you've got time."

Valerie wasn't sold, so she used a technique she'd picked up when applying for jobs. "I'll have to make some time. Could I contact you later with a schedule?"

"Sure! The FentonWorks phone number—"

"Maybe a GIW number would work better? Since it's set up with them."

"For sure!" Maddie grabbed a business card from her utility belt. "If you just press 0 a bunch, you'll get to the receptionist eventually."

"We look forward to hearing from you!"

===

"What would they do if you said no?" Damon Gray asked. He handed Valerie another soapy plate.

She let the water finish running over the plate before she spoke. "I almost don't want to think about it. I mean, I want to think that they'll just respect my privacy as a fellow ghost fighter, but they didn't really have a lot of reason to look into Mr. Masters, did they? If they're that paranoid, won't they look into me too?"

"Well, let's think about it this way." Damon hung the dishcloth back on the faucet. Nice, sub-ten-minutes dishes! "What's the worst outcome if they do look into you?"

"Well, they find my secret identity."

"And then?"

"And then… they get mad at me for doing vigilante stuff. They arrest me for the property damage I've done in fights, and take my suit away because I'm a kid."

"Is that it? Could be worse. I'm sure the people will be on your side because of how much you've helped the cities before. Will they look into your suit at all?"

"Ooh, yeah, if they can. It's sort of bonded to me right now."

Damon frowned but didn't interrupt.

"They might find out that I'm using tech that came from ghosts. I bet they wouldn't like that."

"They all use ecto-technology stuff too, right? I'm sure they wouldn't mind too much, since you're human."

Valerie didn't respond.

"…Well," said Damon, "I'm gonna go get the mail. Let me kn—"

"What if I wasn't?"

"Sorry?"

"I mean— not that I'm not human! And I'm definitely not a ghost. But what if there were some ghostly things about me?"

"Sweetie, what aren't you telling me?"

Valerie turned away. "…Weird ghostly stuff has been happening to me for a few months and I think it's because of my suit."

"Valerie Gloria Gray!"

"It's not that bad! Like, y'know, sometimes when I'm embarrassed I'll get kinda see-through for a sec. O-or when I want my suit to do something, it does it before I tell it to."

"No, as a matter of fact, I do not know!" Damon sighed. "But I'm glad you're okay."

Valerie nodded.

"I'm going to want to talk about this later, but right now I'm getting the mail. I'll just say this before I go; the GIW is supposed to be protecting humans, right? If they're any good at their job, they won't do anything drastic because you're so human."

"Okay. Yeah."

"Love you."

"Thanks, Dad."

Still… better safe than sorry. Valerie was going to find a phone booth tomorrow and schedule the meeting for Saturday.

===

Danny hated the basement of the Keep. He hated it, even more than he hated the rest of the place. Even when it was updated with shiny black and white stone and glass like the rest of the building, it still felt old and foreboding.

When people called the building a "keep", they usually meant it more metaphorically, or they just didn't know that keeps were short-term military hideouts. Most of the structure was more like a palace, enduring and luxe. The basement, though, was the site of a permanent last stand. It had morphed out of the old throne room and kept all the miasma from before, without most of the deathtraps. It was the heart of the palace, in the way that a fear response starts in the heart and radiates outward.

And here Danny was, trying to open up old wounds.

The Fright Knight's resting place was exactly where it had been before, dutifully beside his old king, even if they were both cursed to sleep forever. It was sort of romantic, almost. Like poetry. If you squinted.

But when Danny took the sword out of the pumpkin, the Fright Knight only had to look around for a few seconds before he kneeled, seemingly having figured out the whole… situation. Not that he had expected any serious loyalty out of the knight after his previous escapades, but that was sort of sad.

It didn't seem like the knight was going to stand up unless Danny said something.

"Um… hey. Hi. You can stand."

He stood.

"You have a lot of military leadership experience, right?"

"Yes, my King."

"Alright. Have you ever dealt with passive defense? Like, not going out and fighting so much as preparing to only defend if necessary?"

"Of course. While it is not a responsibility I've had particularly often, it is something I've studied and practiced."

"Okay. I think the entirety of the Infinite Realms are going to be attacked soon."

The Fright Knight valiantly concealed a look of skepticism.

"Honestly! There are humans with a lot of technology, a lot of brainpower, and an unthinkable amount of hatred. I'm going to be doing all I can to prevent things from getting that bad on the diplomatic side, but... I don't want to ignore any possibilities."

"That's very intelligent, my King. Would you like me to suggest strategies on defense?"

"Yeah! I'd like to talk through any thoughts you have on defense and anything else, if that's okay. You have way more experience than me."

"Understood. Would it be possible to bring me something on which to write? I believe it would make the explanation easier."

"Of course. We can do whatever makes you most comfortable. I'm not planning on putting you back in there any time soon— I mean, unless you do something terrible— so you may as well get cozy."

The pair moved into the library and before too long, talk of a general ghost defense movement turned into full lectures on the possible  ways to handle the humans' anti-ghost shift. Tactic after tactic came back to one thing.

"We will only have negotiating power if you tell the humans that you are prepared to destroy them and mean it."

Danny weighed that thought in his mind for a bit. He turned the idea around, considering its taste. He didn't like it.

"And will you mean it, Phantom?"

"Mm… I think I will."

[golbrocklovely]

since i have nothing else to post right now…

here’s the last of colby’s tweets from 2020.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted

~~~~~~~~~~

Oct. 1 - love doing things for myself

Oct. 4 - i’m in so much pain. sos

fan: u ok?

poison oak. everywhere …. everywhere.

Oct. 5 - i like the simple things

Oct. 7 - less is more

Oct. 10 - i wanna make you happy

how am i so busy during the day but still manage to find 2 hours to mindlessly scroll through tik tok? i can’t be the only one

Oct. 14 - i care too much

Oct. 15 - somehow it wasn’t enough

Oct. 18 - fan: I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE WHO ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT COLBY SMELLED LIKE..I WANA KNOW WHAT COLOGNE HE WEARS

mayonnaise

(i hate this man so much lmao)

Oct. 19 - Justin Bieber’s new song made me tear up, that dudes been through so much. no one could even imagine what that’s like.. achieving everything and being in the biggest spotlight at such a young age.

Oct. 20 - @/samgolbach: less than 6 months ago i broke my back. and i decided to take that as a challenge to get healthy again. and today i ran the fastest mile i’ve ever run. so yes, i might be an idiot but i’m a determined idiot 🤘🏼🏃🏼

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 that’s an insane accomplishment ! i remember when it was a struggle to stand up out of bed

new day, same cycle

Oct. 21 - my mom is texting me all the young pictures of me and it’s bringing me memories i didn’t know i had

Oct. 25 - panic attacks late at night are the worst

Nov. 1 - @/colbybrockscar: reminder that it’s no nut November!!! @/ColbyBrock doesn’t even have to try. He’s got this shit in the bag. It probs comes out like baby powder if he tries

did my car just roast me ?

Nov. 4 - this is scary

cuties! all 3 of you! (reply to fan in merch with friend and cat)

Nov. 6 - @/GracynCarr: I can’t believe the audacity of a high school tweet to pop up on my timeline lmao.. miss u tho @/ColbyBrock :)

hope you're well xx

Nov. 8 - so much talent thank youu love (reply to fan's art)

fan: Um. So I tweeted this to you before but alot has also changed since then sooo wanted to say thank you 🖤 🖤 @/ColbyBrock

proud of you, and good luck with your dreams darlin 🖤 you can accomplish anything with the right mindset and hard work. i believe in ya

time flies, and i’m so scared of losing my youth. it’s inevitable i know, but damn makes you wanna cherish every moment you got

Nov. 11 - i hate when nothing is wrong but nothing feels right

Nov. 12 - the person who makes you forget about the rest of the world

Nov. 13 - today marks 6 years since we posted our first YT video on the MAIN S&C account .. 🖤 what a wild ride

Nov. 14 - promise you i’m a good waste of time

Nov. 15 - @/katstuartmusic: “sunday is my funday” - colby brock 2020

🥂💁🏻‍♂️💁🏻‍♂️

fan: Colby u get drunk off of one white claw

fight me

other fan: my money is on mags

round house kicks to the face don’t feel too good

(is it bad that i like when colby gets weirdly violent with us sksksks)

Nov. 16 - the Why Dont We dudes are some of the nicest people in LA

*Nov. 17 - @/gabytriana: It’s out! Sam and Colby were so much fun to work with, and despite what Colby said, I did not hate him when we first met! 😆 Both he and Sam are super kind, smart, generous entertainers who know how to tell a good story! I love them both!! Happy Book Birthday, @/samandcolby

hahaha thank youu so much for all the hard work ! so excited it’s finally here

(interestingly enough, colby didn't delete his tweet… gaby did)

Nov. 19 - went to a Pyschic Reader tonight. my mind is blown. im not a skeptic anymore, video coming tomorrow

fan: Get ready for religious people to freak out

the psychic i talked to was religious, i’m not sure how but i think the two concepts can exist at the same time

Nov. 21 - hard to trust

fan: @/ColbyBrock hey, i love u lots

love you 🖤

Nov. 23 - fan: imagine if @/ColbyBrock responded to this

could you imagine

Nov. 24 - fan: lmao okay so my friend put this together when I FINALLY received Colby's reaper merch yesterday and I had to laugh, I am actually stupid. But I thought it was a lil funny so y'all can see it too then xx

hahahha love it. thank you. you’re not a sack of potatoes in my eyes

Nov. 27 - happy b day @/SamGolbach you know this and imma save the sappy shit for your big 25th bday but i wouldn’t be here without you. you’re the most intelligent, deep thinking dude i’ve ever met and i feel pretty damn lucky to be able to call you a business partner AND best friend

Nov. 28 - take it easy

Nov. 30 - should i hop back on tik tok?

Dec. 2 - @/aaron_doh: At least I got a photo shoot out of it 😄

whaaat. dude i wish you a speedy recovery

Dec. 3 - it’s hard to move on

Dec. 5 - a nice escape is all i need

welp. i guess i’m a lightweight

Dec. 9 - miss you

Dec. 14 - all the baggage that comes with me

Dec. 15 - been workin hard for you , announcement tomorrow

fan: omg are you pregaganant

how'd you know

@/samandcolby: announcement tomorrow… 2021 will be the best year of our lives (and probably most difficult)

fan: are we getting married?? is that why?

yes

i hate how having anxiety makes me nauseous. it’s the worst feeling

Dec. 16 - it’s all about living in the moment and making every. second. count.

fan: yeah @/ColbyBrock how much are you charging for tattoos…

free for you

Dec. 18 - big tool pic but i’ve been workin hard

@/mannymua733: we absolutely do not mind

hahahaha

(god damn… this pic is still so good lol)

also cold weather always makes me want a special someone to spend time with. cuddle buddy is neeeeeded

fan: okay but can we just take a second to appreciate how hard colby’s been working in the gym because dayum

thank you sweeeetheart

fan: HELP COLBY IS TRENDING

yoo i love you guys 🥺

Dec. 20 - got tatted last night and i barely remember

how i feel this morning (pic of him floating)

fan: you’ve seen elf on the shelf… but have you seen cole in a hole? (@/ColbyBrock)

i’m mad i laughed at this

Dec. 23 - why’d ya have to change on me

so bittersweet saying goodbye to my childhood home of 18 years… i’ll only be back to kansas to visit and sleep in hotels from now on. strange feeling, but so happy for my mom and dad for taking a chance and moving

it’s like i don’t have a real “home” anymore. since i move so much anyways it’s hard to find a spot to actually call home

fan: i just want to say that colby has helped me through so much this year. i had a tough year as many others did but you’ve seriously have helped me through so much. i love you so so much @/ColbyBrock

awh that’s why i make videos in the first place. for people like you

Dec. 24 - addicted to you

my mom and i are the weirdest duo on the planet when we’re together i swear

fan: Make a video with her for Christmas

my whole family despises being on camera 💔

Dec. 25 - fan: momma brock is the sweetest ever

she’s my favorite woman in the world

Merry Christmas friends ! 🖤

i wish i could have face tats for like one week but it doesn’t really work like that huh

Dec. 26 - everyone’s battling their own demons

Dec. 28 - fan: Colby drinking wine but he's such a lightweight that he's probably drunk, lmao @/ColbyBrock

🤫🤫🤫

fan: the vibes are fucking ethereal i’m guessing @/ColbyBrock

you got it

[the-snowdrop-system]

Fuck it, ALL my answers below the cut :3

1) Better than most, but not the greatest tbh...

2) My cousin (STRICTLY PLATONIC she has been helping me thru transition ever since i came out to her)

3) yes, i regret going to southern michigan in january

4) very insecure

5) single

6) i dont care how i die honestly, i just hope its relatively painless.

7) homemade pizza my aunt sent home with my dad today

8) if competing in martial arts as a kid counts, than yes, if not, then no.

9) constantly... i should stop that...

10) 1st day of 4th grade (he was bullying me for years, so i punched him square in the nose. He never bullied me again)

11) no, BUT im a hopeless romantic, so by the time you are reading this, my answer might have changed.

12) constantly... my sleep schedule sucks :)

13) only 2 people. My most recent ex, and the male responsable for half of my existance >:(

14) 5 people. My 3 besties from college, dude i talk to on occasion, and my cousin (see number 2, she lives over 1000 miles away from me)

15) no, i neither physically nor financially could take care of a pet, i wish i did tho, would make life slightly more bearable

16) rn, im upset. I might go over that more in another post, if i do ill link it here.

17) no

18) YES i realize they serve a good perpous to our ecosystem, i just wish they would do it somewhere else 😭

19) yes, to stop myself from going to southern michigan in january. Nothing good has come from that decision.

20) i dont remember where it was... it was a while ago anyways.

21) the same as they have been since i had surgery. Get up and walk around every little bit. Other than that, nothing. Maybe watch some lets plays of the new FNAF game since i cant afford a copy of my own :(

22) no, i wouldnt make a good parent honestly, im not responsible enough...

23) i got my ears pierced in december, but they healed up waaay sooner than they where supposed to so now i have 0. what a waste of money >:(

24) math and technology. Dont get me wrong, i am bad at both, but they are still what im best at 😭

25) wait, you already asked this question :(

26) food wise: nothing. In general: a hug.

27) probably yes, but they did worse to me.

28) yep, my most recent ex. (They are also the one mentioned in 27)

29) she did something to me, i stormed off, and she cried because i was upset, does that count?

30) i have a list :) see number 16.

31) no

32) pink or blue 🏳️‍⚧️

33) sometimes? It really depends honestly. Some people i trust to much, and other people i dont trust enough smh...

34) i drempt something about stawberrys last night i dont remember any specifics...

35) one of my parents. I dont remember which one tho.

36) i give everyone a second chance, but if you fuck up again im done. (If i can give the 2 people i hate a second chance, than i can give other people second chances as well.)

37) forget, only cus i got memory issues. But in all seriousness, i have a hard time with both...

38) FUCK NO this shit the worst!

39) 16 i think...?

40) NO????

Where the hell are questions 41-50? I feel like im getting ripped off! /j

51) Quesadillas

52) no, cus what "reason" is there for cancer? What "reason" is there for biggotry? What "reason" is there for plagues and pandemics? If someone can answer those, then i might reconsider.

53) turn on a quiet youtube video to listen too to help me sleep and turn on a fan to keep me cool.

54) cheating, no. Open relationships are one thing, but when two people are together in a closed relationship and one of them cheats, thats just wrong.

55) i try to be nice, but some people make that reeeeally hard. I can be a massive bitch if i need to be.

56) 1. My bully in elementary school.

57) yes, but i also believe it is very hard to find.

58) light snow

59) ... yes.

60) eventually, but only if im allowed to wear a cute wedding dress. (Ive had multiple exes say "if we get married you still have to wear a suit" [for reference im a trans woman])

61) depends on the context, but yea, it can be.

62) get back to me on that one. Im not sure anymore. The things that used to make me happy now only just get me by. I dont know how to feel happy rn.

63) fuck yea, i hate my dead name and want to legally change it, but there is that whole "im broke af" issue i gotta fix 1st.

64) yea, cus i would rather punch them than kiss them tbh.

65) i am gonna change the word from sex to gender in this question just because it will be easier to answer. I have 1 male friend, and idk what i would do if he said he likes me tbh...

66) yee. Same dude as 65

67) last man i talked to was my dad, other than him, the friend i mentioned in the last 2 answers.

68) prolly same dude as before, we where discussing FNAF lore

69) 2 people destined for eachother from birth? No. 2 people who form a bond stronger than just love, yes.

70) each of the 5 people i miss (see question 14)

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[alicedoessurveys]

1. Who was the last person you forgave? How long did it take you to forgive them? 

i dont know

2. Is going mushroom hunting in the woods something that would interest you? 

nope

3. What is your favorite junk food? How about your favorite health food? chinese or pizza. i dont really have any favourite health foods.

4. Are you listening to anything right now? Do you normally listen to music while you take surveys? 

the noise that my foster siblings are making

5. What were you doing the last time you hung out with a friend? we played dnd

6. Is there anything about you that might cause others to dislike you? 

im an introvert and can be quite antisocial and quiet which some people dont like

7. Is there anything you’re really particular or specific about, anything that has to be done a certain way every time? im autistic, theres a lot of things im particular about hahaha

8. Are there any chores you need to get done today? laundry, but its raining so thats not happening

9. Where was the last place you went shopping and what did you buy?

i went to currys today and bought a new laptop because mine is broken

10. What was the last big change you made to your physical appearance? 

had my hair cut last week

11. Are you more likely to shut people out of your life or try to fix things no matter what? depends who it is and what needs fixing

12. Where was the last place you went out to eat? Is going out something you enjoy or would you rather cook at home? i dont remember. i dont really like eating in public

13. If you have any pets, do they seem to notice when you’re sick or sad? 

i have a house rabbit. he's not the most social but he does seem to know when im upset and will sit near me and let me stroke him

15. Is anything you’ve done lately going to matter in a year?   i hope so.

16. What was the subject of your last phone call? my dad phoned me to see what food i wanted

17. Are your hobbies something you’d rather do alone or with others? 

my main hobbies are dance and theatre and both are things that require being with other people.

18. Is there anything about yourself that you’re trying to improve? 

a lot of stuff. im working on being more confident, and

19. What are you doing today? i had work this morning, then i went to buy my laptop and now im at my parents house for dinner before i have rehearsal this evening

20. What did you dream about last night? i cant remember. lately i keep dreaming about my dead best friend so might have been that.

21. When was the last time you visited relatives? Do you see extended family often? i saw my grandparents a few weeks ago for their 50th wedding anniversary

22. What was the last relaxing thing you did? ive started meditating recently

23. Will this weekend be better than last weekend? probably about the same

24. When was the last time you were there for a friend? a few weeks ago on the anniversary of our friends death me and my other friend went to his grave and he broke down, i had to just hug him and let him cry it out

25. Do you have any jewellery you almost never take off? i have a couple of necklaces that are really sentimental but i do take them off, i dont like to shower or sleep in them

26. What are some of your favourite words? bollocks. really satisfying to say.

27. Do you have any journals from when you were younger? If so, do you ever go back and read them? YES! i have a journal that ive been writing in occasionally since i was 7 years old and it is hilarious to read back through

28. Are there any holidays you used to celebrate, but no longer do? i mean, i never really celebrated new year but me and my best friend had our little tradition we would do every year and since he died i dont even like to acknowledge what day it is

29. What was the last occasion for which you dressed up? like, dressed up fancy or dressed up costume..? cause fancy i genuinely cant remember and costume would have been acting in the panto last year

30. Is there anything you wish you could say to anyone? i wish i could tell my best friend that i love him and i miss him every day

[platiniumbabyxx]

april 11 2023

the date above is when i finally got sober like actually sober for the first time since 11 years old im now 24 will be 25 in march.. 2 years ago i married my soul mate the love of my life the only person in the world i want to be with.. something i really struggle with is change my mother raised me to be very sensitive to change ( not good ) there for when change happens its almost crippling for me this is something im working on, but with that being said im having a really very hard time with the change that him and i are dealing with.. i remember saying all the time before we got clean, that i was so scared we would get sober and not even like one another, that us getting to know each other sober we wouldn't love each other any more.. now this didnt happen like that at all we still love eachother and i think that were just trying to figure out being sober and being parents but something has changed. i was so afraid that it would be me that didnt like or want to be with him anymore but this is not the case at all.. i feel like its the other way around. i find myself crying atleast once a day because it makes me so sad maybe he just doesnt love me like that anymore i sometimes almost feel like well he got what hes always wanted which was a child/ family and now hes good.. he was so different he wanted to have sex with me all the time, he kissed me he was so much more affectionate towards me.. i dont know maybe im totally over thinking this maybe this is just the new us and i just have to accept this is who he is now and who we were and how we were when we used isnt the real us... maybe im failing as a wife i know theres things i could be doing that i should be doing that would maybe make me a better wife... i just dont know what to do.. i just need to vent to something nobody will read this but some input would be fucking nice.. i wont tell him or talk to him about it because ive made little comments and subtle mentions about it to him and i dont think he gets it and i dont want to keep repeating myself ive been so blunt about it and he just doesnt understand.. i dont think he realizes.. i forgot to mention im 23 weeks pregnant with a 10 month old baby so maybe its my hormones .. maybe its me doing what i do best over thinking shit.. but its killing me. sometimes when i get really sad i think/feel like he'd be better off with out me sometimes i feel like he'd be happier without me he says otherwise but.. i dont know i just needed to vent this cause its eating me alive every single f u c k i n g day

we got sober together after we had out beautiful baby girl... our clean dates the same day.. this story is for another time...

[foursdarkdays]

i like a girl lol

Sooooooooooooo ummm the title of this rant? would be "i like a girl" lmaooo Soooooo yeah theres a girl i kinda like?? its nothing serious tho but yeah i like her ig, she's not really my type tho but idk . She treats me so well i cant help it. i feel things lol. I keep checking my phone every second of the day (just did again) and it sucksssss. She kinda likes me back? atleast thats what she says . but idk i dont think so. The possibility is too narrow but yeah.

She has a boyfriend lol and its not like i care tbh cause its not like i wanna make her cheat on him something i mean she wouldnt and i wouldnt want her to. Also i know this isjust a phase for her and itll go away soon. for her or for me. Yk know i cant like someone for long especially if i dont see a possibilty of us dating. so yeah im gonna go with the flow rn. She told me that she had a crush on me since months tho but again ahh i dont think so. maybe shes overthinking . maybe she just wants to be my friend.

anywayyy soo im just going with the flow. we flirt a lot. we blush a lot. Thta bitch flirts with othets and makes me jealous lmao dumb fuck and i do the same bwahaah. sooooo yeahhhh i know after whatever this thing is ends im gonna be sad af for 2 weeks i think? cause we talk so much and its gonna be lonely. but again im a pro at moving on soooooooooo

7/10/23 (1:51am)

(im gonna keep adding the rants)

and the best thing about this is that i'm very well prepared for the heartbreak so im sure it wont hurt much lol im actually very sure about that. I always expect the worst in these things so its going to be chill. I'm sure shell come out of this phase soon and it will only be a memory for both of us. mostly in a good away tho. I'm not gonna take this too seriously and just have fun. you're flirting? okay ill flirt back. you're treating me well? ill do the same yeah thats it lol

i have a strong gut feeling that this is gonna end soon like 3-4 days? i dont know. lets see

7/10/23 (18:25)

Oh wow soooo it almost ended that day lollll but then yeah we kinda talked it out? Anyways i feel like something changed after that. I think in a good way? The obsession feelings decreased and maybe the good friendship feelings increased? I honestly have no idea and i should probably stop trying to figure it out lol. Anyway now I'm back and i think she doesn't like me anymore. Maybe I'm just over thinking? But lol nvm let's see how it goes

11/10/23 (2:05am)

Lmao bitch read this post. anyways im gonna act like no one knows about this account. Its soooooo scary i know i've told this before but its just really scary. See i have trust in myself that if IF something goes wrong ill move on fast, OKAY WHY AM I OVERTHINKING AGAIN. lets fuck this. SHES SO CUTE IM SO OBSESSED I HATE HER SO MUCH. ITS SO MUCH FUN TALKING TO HER. even though sometimes i really wanna push her off a cliff but its okay. I wanna write so much but im blank again wtf

14/10/23 (01:48am)

Why do i feel like she hates me now. Maybe she'll finally lose feelings. i mean yeah thats okay and understandable but it'll be too sudden so idk. I'm ready for anything at this point . I wanna text her but i guess ill give her space. I'll just distract myself and sleep. She has nooooooo idea about the amount of over thinking im doing rn. im so sure shes done with me and will never see my face again. lemme prepare myself. Thankfully im veryyy tired so ill fall asleep easily.

14/10/23 (9:22 pm)

i randomly have such sudden outbursts of love for this baby. i want to cup her face and kiss her whole face , i want to hug her to my chest and kiss her head and baby the fuck out of her. She's gonna cringe reading this (please dont). I want to like put our foreheads together and close my eyes and feel it yk??? i sound soooooo weird. Please dont be creeped out

15/10/23 (10;02pm)

I like her so much like so so so so so so much. Its very scary and i know for a fact that i will be hurt later but ugh its sooooo worth it. I'm sooooo happy with her. The feelings keep growing and i dont think im gonna let it stop. its okay ill let it grow. yoloooo sooo ahhhhh. We just had a pubg date sksksksk shes soooooooo ahhhhh. She flirts so confidently , i was panicking behind the pubg call sksknjiuck. anywaysssss ugh I want to kiss her sooooooooooooooooo bad like fuckkkkkkkkkk i wanttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!.

20/10/23 (01:13am)

Hiii so idk bro she says she's more obsessed with me but obviously i disagree. I think i really fell harder lol I mean it's scary af but anyways. Idk she can go for hoursssss without talking to me and be fine and me ? Lolllllll I try to text back whenever I can but she doesn't do that. Maybe I'm asking too much. Okay i should chill out fr. I don't wanna depend on anyone lol. I only want fun stuff here even though i know I'm kinda in deep but anyways it'll be okay. I know she's putting a lot of effort i shouldn't complain. I'm getting more than i deserve anyway. And I AM happy af. I just miss her i guess. I sound sooooo stupid. Ugh I hope she doesn't read this

21/10/23 (17:12)

(23/10/23) 1:40am

She didn't text me back today. But I'm gonna be understanding. I don't want to overthink. Not today . There are so many possibilities and i wanna listen to her . I really want to be understanding. Because i genuinely care . I didn't text her back till 2pm due to some valid reasons tho but anyway I feel calm now. I texted in our gc and she seen zoned but maybe she has her reasons . Let's see . I don't want to think about anything. I really hope she's alright .

It's like i want her to text me about her day and all but then I don't want to expect much i don't want her to do zyada also idk she's already treating me nicely and it makes me happy. Its honestly more than enough and I don't want to be greedy.

23/10/23 (19:12)

okay sooo ummm the reality is hitting me these days. I was okay being the side chick but its really hitting me lol. Its not like she makes me feel that way nahhh she shows that she cares. Its just that idk maybe im only stupid. she flirts with others and sends me screenshots and everytime she does that i lose little feelings. Even though she does that for fun idk. If she keeps doing this, i might actually lose feelings lol idk how to tell her that. I dont wanna bicker or anything i dont have the strenght and anyway she'll be like nooo i do it for fun only because im cool. **heavy sigh** nvm . but should i let her know? communication is good yk. i guess ill try tonight. if she doesnt fall asleep. Okay ill tell her that, rest is her wish lol .

oh yeah btw todays our 1 month anniversary???? ehehehehe

okay she fell asleep, shes really sick so i hope she feels better soon.

but anyway i keep feeling stupid lmaoooooo i need to stop feeling this way and accept it. Thats the only way lol

21:23 (30/10/23)

Wah its been long, soooo umm idk we kinda had a disagreement? i honestly dont know what that was but yeah im 1000% sure that it wasnt my fault. i took my time to write and explain everything but nah i guess shes mad at me? ofcourse she is. we didnt talk the whole day and its kinda driving me crazy but im trying to look normal. I wont text her first , not because i have ego or anything but because im not at fault here. She took things a little too far and i got triggered. But again i did explain her everything like why it triggered me and all because i didnt want any misunderstanding. But yeah shes mad at me for that? i honestly dont know what to do. is this the end of us? i dont want it to end like this. I'm not ready but i also wont text first. She needs to own up to her mistakes. I miss her. I miss her so much . please text me ughh .

its okay i guess. this is like a break for us i think i dont know how this will end up

22:56(7/11/23)

lmao i got on with a lot of thoughts in my head but as usual im black again. sooo i cant stop thinking about her and its scaring the shit out of me. Atp im pushing myself to go out with friends and family just to divert myself from thinking about her lmaooo yeah its that bad. The worst part is even k-pop idols are not helping me this time. Its always her on my mind. But ill try my best to distract myself because i feel very one sided. Its prolly not but kinda is . idk. But i'm also behaving the same way with her ig? i talk about idols and behave like they're the only ones on my mind when its absolutely false. I'm sure its not the same for her tho. she really isnt that whipped for me lol. and thats okay. ill keep trying to calm myself down . BUTTT the more i try the more i think. What do i do?

05:36am (17/11/2023)

we had a talk yesterday and it hit a nerve, It hit a wrong spot and now idk what i feel anymore. It was hurting. My heart felt like it would explode. I felt too much that i dont feel it now. No i'm not over her. It'll take time for sure but something snapped for sure. I'm taking a break today, from her. I need to analyze my feelings and emotions and think. I need to be ready for whatever is about to come. and i will be, Im strong and i can do it.

I never spoke about this or wrote it here but i think i should now. I need to analyze my feelings and write it out. I like her. i like her a lot. It was all happy happy at first, just us flirting. It wasnt that serious. But it did get serious later. A lot of feelings got involved. I know i know that she has a boyfriend and that i am a second option. I know its genuine and she really likes me. But i sometimes i wish the other way around. Everytime she mentions her boyfriend, its like a stab in my heart and reality hits me. I get distant for a bit. idk if she notices. its not her fault tho, I cant talk to people about this because i know what they're gonna say. "its all your fault, you knew she was taken but you still chased her. its all on you. you"re stupid for even hoping or wanting something from a straight taken woman" oh dont even get me started on how much it hurts when she tells me shes straight. Its gives me mixed signals. she says she wants to kiss me, hold me and do things with me and then she says shes straight. see i know sexuality is not an easy thing, it takes a lot of time and courage and thinking to come to a conclusion and tbh its okay even if she doesnt, but i cant stop my feelings and my overthinking. what if she doesnt really like me and its really just a phase shes going through. because im confident about the way i feel. i like women, i like her, romantically , emotionally and sexually.

i want her. i want her so bad even if its for a month, i want to experience how it feels like to be in a real relationship with her but i know its impossible. Like that equation doesnt even exist.

yesterday night, when she told me she loved me. i couldnt say it back. I didnt have enough energy to feel things because my heart was already hurting. Thats why im taking a break from her today, Her calling me baby , princess and whatever cute things she does , its making me feel guilty. She shouldnt do those things for me, but i want it . i dont know what im typing honeslty. i just want her so bad but i know i shouldnt. i NEED to tone down now . from my side, ill take the love shes giving me, also reciprocate. but not more than that because even i feel guilty and shes going through things because of me, she says its worth it but is it? i know that one day both of us will move on from this. I'm pretty sure we're gonna think about this and laugh but right now i want her, But i also dont , But i do. lol.

14:04 (21/11/23)

Hi, lol. I feel so much for her. like so so so so much. what we have is so precious and important to me. i dont want to let her go. As a girlfriend, yeah i guess one day we'll have to part, but as a friend? i dont want to lose her. I may sound greedy but along with her girlfriend(idk what we are but lets pretend im her girlfriend) right now, i also want to be her second best friend. Is it too much to ask ? i mean i guess it is. It hasnt been that long but our emotional bond is too strong and idk if ill ever find it anywhere else. Even if i dooo ugh idk i just want her for a long time. Even after we break up and take our time off, i want her to talk to me. This may sound selfish but yeah. I still want her to come nag to me, complain about things and share her problems, emotions etc. Relationship issues, marital issues, friendship issues, work related issues, family issues, financial issue etc like literally anyyything. I want her to feel comfy with me, I will never force her tho. I just hope things turn out this way instead of us completely falling apart. Because if it breaks , im sure itll take more than 2 years for me to open up tp anyone again. After my last ex best friend , i really shut myself off and it was lonely. I do have friends and i know they are always there for me but i cant open up to them. emotionally. But with her i can. So i want her , need her for a long time. We may drift . life is unpredictable and people change so its okay but i hope both of us try our best. I know she said she ignores and ghosts her close friends when she feels something is off and then they drift apart but i want her to really try for us. Idk if it will be worth it for her but i want her to try because i know i will. unless she wants otherwise. lol why am i having such emotions today? this is the first time im feeling this way. with us i mean. okay ill stop now.

26/11/23 22:30

I think I'm in love lol idk I tried so much to not be 'in' love and to just love her but I think I failed at it. I'm even scared to admit it to myself because I'm a coward. I still don't want to admit it to myself. I love her so much . I feel so stupid for loving someone who loves someone else. I was never like this. What is wrong with me? Idk but can it be helped? No. I know I'll move on in the future and everything will fall into place but right now ugh i love her and I feel stupid af. Like really really stupid. I'm never telling this to anyone tho. They'll make fun of me lol. They won't understand. I myself don't understand anything. I'm giving away so much of myself and it's going to take a lot of time for me to get it back like after we break up. Anyways I hope she gets well soon. She must be in a lot of pain. It hurts to even think that she might be in pain ughhhh stupid**inserts my name* get it together.

Come back soon . I feel like a zombie without you

Lol I just looked at my instgram activity and was wondering why I had spent 4 hours on Instagram yesterday when we didn't even talk. Then I realised that we did. It has only been a day but it feels like weeks? Wtf? What is going on with me. I'm scared I'm so so scared.

28/11/23 (23:43)

Happy 2 months to us lol sksksk anyways I didn't miss her yesterday. Probably because I was dealing with my own shit . Doesn't mean I like her any less. I still care . I hope she feels better soon

30/11/23 (00:19)

I googled the recovery rate and the death rate of dengue and I'm more paranoid now. Maybe I'm crying too much because I'm sick . I cry a lot when I fever like it heightens whatever I feel and now I'm worried about everything. Myself , her ahhh.

This is way too scary. New fear unlocked. I don't wanna say it but ugh just the thought of your loved one not being there hurts lol. I think I'll never move on from it. Never. So dear universe or whoever is listening to me , you've been mean to me these days , there are only 2 things that I want the most right now. The most. And I'll do anything for it. 1. Her getting well soon. 2. I need freedom from my life . Which means moving away to another country. I need these so bad. I don't care if I don't die anymore. I know I've always wanted to die and that was the only prayer in my head but now no. I want these 2 . Please please please. I won't be able to take it please ahh I'm crying again. I'm never getting attached to anyone again.

It's December already, please please please I promise that if these two things happen, I WILL NEVER NEVER EVER think about killing myself again. I promise this. I really really really promise you. But , if not , then that's it. You know I've always wanted to die , ever since 2011, so I'm giving up on this if I get the things I want. Atleast the 1st one. I won't be able to live at all.

Why am I crying so much. It's too much to handle. I feel like the nerves in my head will tear open with the strain. Its been long since I cried so much . I know I'm over thinking but why can't I fucking stop. STOP. Okay I'll just sleep .

1/12/23 (00:05)

I didnt miss her at all these last 3 days but i think i miss her a little today. I suddenly think about her and feel like crying. This is not because i miss her but idk. I feel like every bad thing happened to me at once and my mental health is at stake. 1. her being extremely sick with that deadly virus? whatever it is. 2. My uni thing. 3 me falling sick as well. i cant control my emotions when im sick. especiallllyyyy fever. i feel so weak and that stupid fever aftertaste on my tongue is making me wanna puke. i think im sleeping a lot these days. like 16 hours a day or something, maybe physcial and mental exhaustion is catching up to me. fuck this life . anygays idk i hope something good happens please. i wanna cry again lol. crying feels nice all of a sudden . its all because im sick lol. i guess ugh idk fuck this

i slept on the couch yesterday night, i think ill do the same tonight lol. i always sleep on the couch when im sick i guess??? ah im sleepy again. prolly med effect. ill eat and sleep now. i hope my baby feels almost better tomorrow. wow im sleepy af all of a sudden . no energy i think ill fall off byee

01/11/23 (20:16)

Lol i haven't written in so long ahhh yeah idk it's going okay I guess. We were having a call on gmeet with another friend of mine and she spoke about her boyfriend today. Idk what happened to me and why it happened but I cried wtf? Like wtf?????? Idk what to do anymore. It's reality I know but it's hurting. I know I'm just a ummm what am I again? No one omg fuck this

03:20 (18/11/23)

i love you

22:36(uk time zone) 11/02/24

Ah i need you so bad but i yeah i should be understanding. I’ll be. But know that i need you so bad like emotionally but im not brave enough to text you .

15/02/24 1:14pm

I love you . It feels sad now . When i think about her, my brain makes me sad lol. Whenever i imagine fake scenarios with her my brain keeps constantly reminding me that im just delulu and nothing will ever happen. I already know that but lemme be happy? i keep thinking about the break up that will happen soon when she gets engaged. I know there’s time, there’s a lot of time but i can’t stop thinking about it. It’s like it’s always there at the back of my mind. I just wanna be delulu , carefree and happy. I don’t wanna think much okay bye

29/02/24(2:30am)

I hope you dont see this but I’m so sorry. There are so many thoughts running in my head rn. I feel like im ruining something perfect. i mean you and him. I know nothing will change , yall are the end game and i dont want that to change. But the guilt is hittinf me these days. Am i that bad? Am i that selfish? What am i supposed to do? Shouldi stop? I dont want to stop but i dont want to be so selfish. Am i really a homewrecker? fuck

(12:06)

(PLEASE DONT READ THIS IM BEGGING YOU)

Ouch. That stung. Very bad. Ahh i can feel my heart breaking into pieces and im having a breakdown. I feel so so so helpless. I really can't do anything about this. I have no way out now do i? Please universe please please help me please.

I'll do anything. Hold me from breaking apart every time. I should be used to this by now?

Right? It's been so long. It should be normal. But as the days go by i can't take it. I'm breaking so bad. This is why i hate love so much. Only pain and hurt. But do you think i can let go? No. The most dumb and stupid award should be given to me. I hate everything

6:46 (19/8/24)

I want a day where it doesn't hurt me anymore.

But i guess that day will be the day im not in love anymore and I've completely lost feelings. I dont want that.

7:06

I love myself too much. I want to be happy. I will be happy. Me me me me and only me.

Every time i close my eyes her Instagram story flashes ahhh i want amnesia. I want to hid my head somewhere and lose all my 24 years memories. It hurts THAT much. Or maybe I'm over reacting too much. Its prolly the latter lol ok.

But i know its something she can't help too so lol both of us are helpless. Im just opening up here and she's not. Now i need to give my brain some rest. I'll be offline the whole day to heal

7:47

Why do you keep hurting me so much. Why do you always sabotage us for everything. Every minor inconvenience you get you let it affect us. Bro even on our one year anniversary? Is it not special to you? I’m so hurt but I’m even scared to tell you that. I think I’m starting to suffocate

[joesanimationblog]

Character Questions 1

1

What is your full name? Jen

How did your parents decide on your name? Im not sure, I was one of 7 and have a big family, i think it might have been the only name left

What’s your favourite colour? Green or orange

Where do you live? Im moving at the moment, I lived here in the oasis but each year it shrinks and my family move away. I dont know why its shrinking or where im going but I hope I can find a place to give my family a safe place to settle

Are you wealthy, poor or comfortable? Until recently we were comfortable, but as the oasis has shrunk weve had to spend longer and longer forraging. theres really no food here anymore.

What is your greatest fear? I am scared that the desert never ends. there used to be trees on the horizon but in the past few years theyve receeding. I cant tell if they are there anymore.

Do you have any medical problems, diseases, injuries? I have a bad leg, It makes it hard to move far away and thats why ive stayed in the oasis for so long, I thought it would get better but now i know its time to move on.

Are you religious? I believe in nature and though natures receeded back into the desert i still have hope that ill find it again

Do you have any pets? I have enough on my plate with my children

10.What is your biggest dream? A home where the grass is always green

11.What is your favourite food? Carrots

12.Are you in a relationship? I have a husband but he left on the turtle yesterday, me and the kids will be getting the next turtle behind him. He left before us because there wasnt enough space for us all to go together. I hope hes okay.

13.What did you study in school? I was never good at school but I enjoyed art

14.What is your job? Im an artist, but with things as they are its been hard to find people willing to trade for my paintings.

15.Are you political? I wish there were leaders here who could have made the oasis prosperous. It seems that people took all they could and left. My faith in the leaders is not what it once was since mayor jeffery left last year.

16.Who is your favourite person in the world? I love dolly parton, her music has helped me though some hard times.

17.Have you experienced death? When i injured my leg I almost died, I was attacked by a gang of frogs, they whipped me down and took everything i had. If it werent for The Fox I would have been toast

18.What is your favorite book? I like Alice in wonderland, I sometimes wish a small girl would lead me to a hole to a new world too.

19.What do you hate? I hate that there are people who take from the land without giving back, then they move on to the next place to exploit

20.What do you love? Community. Its the only thing which has kept us safe all these years.

21.What makes you angry? I am angry at the tubes, since they appeared its been down hill as they drained the life from our community.

22.What do you do on Sundays? I read, paint and listen to dolly parton. but to be honest its been hard to find time in the past few years with my young children, I spend time with them in the hovel

23.Do you lie? Not often, sometimes i embelish stories.

24.Are you violent? Absolutely not.

25.Are you an introvert or an extrovert? I consider myself a quiet extrovert.

26.Who would you lay down your life for? My kids.

27.If you could describe yourself in one sentence, what would you say? Im a simple mother looking to make the best of their situation for their children, looking for a place to listen to dolly parton.

28.If your (best friend, wife, daughter, partner, boss, neighbor etc.) were to describe you in one sentence, what do you think he/she would say? Im not sure, i guess theyd say im kind of boring but that im reliable.

29.What do you think is the meaning of life? To look out for one another.

30.What is your biggest misbelief about yourself? I am always optimistic and always think i can do more than i can.

31.What is your worst habit? I smoke, i dont know why i started but it was when i was younger. i guess I was trying to rebel about my instincts.

32.What is your best quality? I always do my best.

What would your character say if they were offered their dream job? If it meant they could support their family then absolutely yes.

What would your character say if their house was on fire? Oh god my house is on fire.

What would your character say after a proposal of marriage they are married.

2

[hiruda]

Tentangnya, my one and only brother, kak enal.

Hi kak, how is it up there? Are you okay? Well, sadly our prays had little chance to reach you or maybe not. Kinda suck isn't it? But it goes the way it has to. We're doing good, still misses you sometimes, or maybe a lot, but we're good, we're trying to live our best life. Anw, your son lives with us here not sure how his life is going to be, but lets see. Theres nothing much we can do except trying our best to direct him into best way but yeah, he's a teenager, so it's kinda hard to facing him.

Hey, I already 25 years old, soon to be 26 in a couple months if Allah allows me or stop at 25 forever so i could be your forever little sister. Or maybe imma pass the age of 27 or so on which means I'll pass the age you never reach, grow old, being grand parent that you'll never be.

Im sorry i randomly tell u this, maybe i get triggered and i told Mas about how your friends still have your number even tho its not active anymore and how your presence means a lot to them. Its already 13 years since you left us, but our feeling hasnt change at all. We miss you, but we're holding each others, stronger than you cant ever imagine. Although we're only sisters now, but mama bapak very proud of us, not sure of me since I dissapointed us a lot, but yeah we're still good. Kaka-kaka take care us a lot, and i'll never be repay their kindness.

I miss you, bro. I miss being ur little sister, i miss being lifted when i fall asleep in front of tv, I miss us when we sleep side by side, when you make me sleep with my hands in your armpits and it becomes my habit which is kinda hard for me to let go, when you cut your armpits hair so it gets little sharp cause id like to put it into my nails, when you asked me why I move to sleep next to kak epi cause i cant stand the snore you made, or when youre at your peak of ur mischief and nobody is brave enough to talk to you but still you treat me the same, hasnt change at all as ur little girl, even tho I know youve changed.

Kak, do you think we're in our best life when He took you from us? Cause i do think so. We were so young back then, I was 11 and had no clue hows life gonna hit me from every corner. Ive messed up kak and being the dumbest little sister youve ever had. Im not allowed to ask if, cause its a sin, so i try my best not to ask if to Him.

How did it feel kak when He took ur spirit away? Does it hurt? Do you think im gonna make it if my time had arrived? Are you sad? Do you see us coming cause we're not at home when you left us? How does it feel kak, he made you left us when you're not ready at all? Or you well prepared cause i heard you cleaned up every tools at your work and saying youre leaving? Is it true kak? You left us with no sign and unprepeared, is it fair? But we'll never be ready, it is just sooner or later.

Please take care yourself kak. I still have your picture, we wont forget you. Will never be. Im going to talk to you again when i need a good cry. I love you, hope He will let recogize each other when we meet even if it's in heaven or hell, so i could be your little sister again.

[golbrocklovely]

since i was asked so nicely by a lovely anon...

here’s the first half of colby’s tweets from 2020.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jan. 1 - being stuck in an elevator with 15 of your friends is the best way to start 2020

i kissed my hand this new years

ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space

Jan. 2 - thank you all i love you all

Jan. 7 - weird to think that about a year ago i was sitting in a cell in FL.. time flies

Jan. 11 - lmao i love you guys you get me

Jan. 13 - only fools rush in

Jan. 15 - you took the sun with you when you left -RK

the back of my mind has a constant itch for you

Jan. 16 - happy jail anniversary @/SamGolbach thanks for bailing me out

Jan. 19 - i promise you i’ll never act my age

Jan. 20 - real talk. should sam and i go on tour 2020?

(this makes really sad…)

Jan. 23 - there was an old man who kept coming to the 13th floor around 3am where our room was last night. i don’t like miami anymore i’m headed to orlando

Jan. 31 - looking for that deep connection with someone i'm tired of the superficial shit

Feb. 2 - IM DRUNK AT 3PM LETS GOOO CHIEFSSS

Feb. 4 - my couch is like a bed i could stay here forever

@/BigNik: Nobody cares about my well being but that’s ok

Feb. 5 - you should rap about this real shit bro that would change a lot. turn this emotion into art. i hope you know even if i’m busy i’m always still down to talk as well brother

(i don't like big nik, but this was such a sweet interaction &lt;3)

out of curiosity , would YOU ever spend the night in Queen Marys room B340 if you could ..?

Feb. 6 - imagine if we could all go explore some crazy haunted place one day … together. 🤔 i wonder if that’s even possible

if anyone is taking high school Chemistry right now , i’m so sorry

Feb. 7 - sometimes i can’t take a joke and it’s so annoying

Feb. 8 - i really don’t like myself when i party too hard but i got the best friends in the whole world

@/badboywolfy: This is Saturday afternoon regret hours

you feel me

Feb. 10 - valentine’s day is coming up soon i think i’m gunna throw up

Feb. 12 - sometimes my mind can turn into my worst enemy

Feb. 13 - cant stop thinking about living in another big house with all my boys.. life is about to be insane

keep on fighting and i will too

Feb. 14 - to whoever left a basket of chocolates and teddy bears at my door .. i <3 u

Feb. 15 - I MISS DUBAI

Feb. 16 - shadow man is watching

Feb. 17 - my pupils make me look like i’m rolling balls CONSTANTLY

Feb. 18 - still trying to process the psychic saying i was an old soul estimated to have lived a past 21 lives .. shit messes with your head

Feb. 20 - meeting you guys never gets old

Feb. 24 - missing the nights alone on my balcony

Feb. 25 - express your creativity

(i always wonder why he tweets shit like this out of no where lol)

Feb. 27 - blue haired Colbys makin a comeback

Feb. 29 - i'm always feeling like i'm in a dream

March 3 - need to watch the sunset more

March 5 - i don’t wanna tell my story i’d rather hear yours

March 8 - if this is all we know then we might as well run with it

March 9 - who’s down to have some deep conversations i’m tired of small talk

March 11 - just had my first sleep paralysis dream .. never experienced something so terrifying

praying for the world right now

(and here we go into the pandemic stuff……… great)

March 12 - you can have the prettiest face but i still won’t f w you if the personality isn’t there

March 13 - knowing that we all know nothing

March 15 - i haven’t stocked up on food or hygiene essentials does that mean i’m going to die ? am i making the wrong move here ?

March 16 - if postmates stops delivering i’m actually fucked

random fan: Just sit on your balcony, the stars will feed you

the balcony is the answer to all my internal worries/suffering

March 17 - day 3 of no food in the quarantine, not sure how much longer i can go with just a few almonds to spare. everything is spinning slowly.. i’ve been seeing silhouettes in my room dancing gracefully on the walls, i think my mind is leaving me. would you guys be mad if i ate Sam?

March 18 - time moves on, memories never fade

March 20 - the worst thing is never the last thing

March 22 - i think the only person i can really make crack up is myself

March 24 - it’s times like this i wish i had a little dog by my side who i could call my bestest friend..

@/amberscholl: here u go (pic of george)

can i borrow him? just for a week..? .. or maybe two?

@/amberscholl: (gif saying 'you want it? come and get it')

see you tonight

March 26 - guys i’m trying to learn how to dance but it’s gunna take some time i’m too awkward

March 29 - my last night on the balcony

March 30 - where the emo girls at

(i remember this tweet causing so much chaos in the fandom. everyone claiming they were emo… absolute madness lol)

March 31 - what can i say? me and the boys got gluteus to the MAXimus

(i take it back. THAT PHOTO OF THE BOYS NAKED AND THEIR BARE ASSES?!?!?! died right then and there.)