#ilu guys too
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after two years i finally draw the favorite
#my art#still learning honestly. idk how to explain it but some medias youre so fixated on and obsessed with u instantly want to draw everyone#for me dunmeshi has always been the opposite. series and characters i enjoy sm i cannot bring myself to pick up a pencil#for some reason. it got a lot worse once the anime started airing idk. simply forcing myself to get some of my energy out. in a way#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#thistle#dunmeshi thistle#thistle dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#>_< series i was into since late 2021. yet u wouldnt know that unless u follow my side twitter account. sowwy ig#i do this with a lot of franchises honestly. cannot bring myself to draw even if i think abt the characters constantly. ie skip to loafer#u will nvr catch me calling this guy sissel sorry. save that name for Mr. Ghost Trick. another thing i. also. dnt talk abt. which i adore#i need to get better at talking abt and expressing myself for the things that i enjoy. ive been wanting to draw laios for a good#while too but im scared. for some reason. u-u should nvr let a white man do that to me honestly.#for now i'll thistle tho. maybe we will get kabru namari or mithrun next from me >_< i have to talk myself into it#i think the closest way i can explain why i cannot bring myself to draw for some series is that i dnt want to mess up somehow#like 'ilu so much [character] what if i cnt draw u the way u deserve even tho i love u sm what if its not enough.' <- leaves it to sm1 else#tbh [scratches head] i prefer the version with less coloring ^-^ but i realize the one thats more colored would get more eyes on it... hm
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chapter four is finally up!
#posting it before i do that thing where i doubt it all and edit 38473 times#its already had 3 full length edits let it REST CASPIAN#anyway im gonna try to work on chp 5 over the weekend! maybe tomorrow if im lucky (:#already have that one outlined so it shouldn't be too bad#its also gonna be conversation heavy tho and i struggle with dialogue#anyways#hope u guys enjoy this one ilu#caspost#malevolent#malevolent fic#also this chapter is oscar free SORRY WHFJEJF
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cuuub aftanoon & happy timezone my loves ! ! (ˆ꜆ᵒ̴̷͈ · ᵒ̴̷͈ )♡ hope the weekend is treating you amazingly !
#〝 𝓬𝓾𝓫𝓬𝓱✩𝓽𝓼 ₊ ࣪ ㅤ ꣓ㅤ#currently off work and shopping ! ! 🛍️ who wants to join me <3#been looking for a certain juicy purse and some cool jeans lately ! been designing some new outfits ^o^#but also holding myself back from buying anything with teddies on it ! ! 🥹💖#< i say as i pick up fluffy teddy pj bottoms 😞🤧🙂↔️#BUT today seems like a free day for me ! ! so i get to be active ! ! YAY#been dying to reblog alot of your posts (⌯︎¤̴̶̷̀ ᴗ ¤̴̶̷́⌯︎)✧ and get to reading too !!!!#i must i must ><#ilu guys take care !
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hi. i love u.
hi. i love u too shi guy
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Also. I wanna just take a moment and look at all of ya'll and tell you ... go ahead and write those fics, draw that art, hold those headcanons you have about your favorite characters being whatever. Make the characters you write about trans. Drabble about autism and how it relates to how characters function. Give them your favorite foods. Sneak in little quirks about yourself. You're allowed to draw characters with traits you have. Scars, blemishes, that stubble on your chin that you hope will grow more into a beard someday (it will I promise) or with nails painted the colors you like. When we do this ... and we share these parts of ourselves and we watch people react kindly, it helps us see that these characters are still loved, even when we shape them to be a little more like ourselves. That's powerful. Do you know why? Because when people see that others love characters that are trans ... they feel like they, too, can be loved as a trans person. Having representation in media means so much not just because we want to connect with something but because we, as humans, crave love and validation and sometimes it's so hard to find it for ourselves when we really need it. If you have friends who write or draw or even just speculate/daydream about this sort of stuff --- by golly, you gotta support them, you gotta boost them up. You gotta say "I love this" because that person will hear you and feel a little bit of that love for themselves ... and that's important. Right now, especially ... it's so goddamn important to do what makes you happy, what helps you love yourself and this little blue dot we are on. Put top scars on your favorite character. That's someone else's favorite, too --- and seeing it might give them the courage to accept themselves for who they are more, it might be the boost they need to say "hey, this is okay actually." We owe that to each other. And you owe it to yourself, too.
#hux noise#look i have a lot of feelings about things lately#i know i haven't been reblogging stuff#like i'm tired i am so tired of it all every day it just hurts#but there's GOOD here too#and you can be part of it and i am HONORED when people say#that me doing what i do gives them courage or makes them happy#it means so much i know it does because i was the same way#ilu guys please stay safe and happy and be kind to yourselves
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The guardian of the pizza bagel storage is unphased by this upstart anklebiter
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#so far one of the guys i’m talking to has a similar sense of humour as mine and we have sort of similar stories of how we ended up#in this city#i’m having too much fun talking to him i hate it#if i become a simp 🤌🏻#the other one annoys me so it’s an easy choice so far lol#.❀⋆.ೃ࿔*ilu talks.❀⋆.ೃ࿔*
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HI LIFE UPDATE BELOW
Ed mention, discussion of mental health, brambles
Hey I realized I didn't tell like? Anyone? What's going on with me??
Life has been one big fuck you after another. My estranged Grandmother passed away in November, my oldest childhood friend also passed, my cat and dog both almost died for entirely different reasons but on the same day, got sick (not COVID) multiple times, I nearly was dropped by my school over THEIR clerical error, and this isn't even counting the stress of managing my relationship with my dad while he's in the middle of a war. You could say my overall my mental health really took a nose dive. I'm so tired and depressed that I haven't been able to even keep up with like the smallest of wrestling stuff, or any of my writing goals.
HOWEVER-
Today was my first day in an intensive outpatient program to treat my ED. I've wanted treatment for a long time, and really been raw dogging it. A recent, and severe relapse caused me to realize I can't do this on my own anymore. I'm sick of lying to myself that I can manage on my own, and also I miss cooking. I miss cooking so so so fucking much. I want a healthy relationship with food, my body, and am tired of being robbed of joyful movement from past trauma.
I'm probably not going to have as much energy to reply or interact as much, but please know I'm going to do my best to maintain my friendships. My world just needs to be a little smaller to deal with my shit rn. Please feel free to send memes posts etc, I just might not respond💖
#brambles#ilu guys#and I really want to be well enough to start writing again#not just for y'all but for me too#briar speaks
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I could fix s9 Dean
#you could argue his motivations for the Ezekiel debacle were selfish but I truly think he hates himself too much for that#yes he’s afraid of being alone but my god it’s been beaten into his head since he was a child to never let any harm befall Sammy#and he’s failed so miserably at that lol#and the one time! the ONE TIME that Dean had accepted sam was going to sacrifice himself#he spent upwards of 1000 years trapped with lucifer getting (canonically!) raped!#I’m not saying Dean did THE RIGHT THING especially with the guy who’s bodily autonomy has been violated so many times via possession#I’m just saying IT MAKES SENSE WHY HE DID WHAT HE DID#also since like season 1? 2? dean’s whole thing has been ‘it scares me what I’m willing to do for family’ well!#and he knows he was wrong he is like aware that he was in the wrong#anyway sam said he wouldn’t do the same for Dean and I’m going to be honest. I DON’T BELIEVE HIM#ALSO this was RIGHT after they decided to choose each other instead of boarding up hell#so what was Dean supposed to do LET SAM DIE? FOR NOTHING? it all would’ve been for naught!!!!!#and sam coming back later with ‘you talked me into that’ idk king. that was a 2 way street#SORRY IM SORRY I JUST UNDERSTAND WHY HE DID IT IS ALL#please don’t get mad at me samgirls ilu
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actually now that im still at it, here's another twitter circle post, now tumblr exclusive:
basically, two concerts are happening in December and I have no money but GOD i wanna go. G Jones w/ Imanu, Jon Casey, and Sayer on Dec. 7th in Alburqueque and then Dec. 9th Eptic w/ Eliminate & Ivory in Dallas. It's insanity, bc I have NO money, and I dont know how to drive so I cant even rent a car, AND i most likely wont have anyone to go with me bc the two people who would be down to clown (my boyf & older sister) both work jobs with little PTO and are also broke. So it'd just be me, ~$300 i have saved up, my impulsiveness and myself going between 2 states.
like its so unplausible that it can happen. BUT--
#bird babbles#edm stuff#i have traveled alone before via train (sticky if ur seeing this hi ilu <3) and it really isnt that bad#it really is just matter of money bc if i dont have money for a hotel room or food ill legit be pulling up with nothing but a backpack#and by myself too. which can be a vibe!#but i am also a small woman (?) who would be traveling alone to cities shes never been in so. hmmm#may not be the best decision ever...#sorry guys i have a lot of thoughts and i need to scream
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saw jigsaw with orgy and whoof, u could feel the joss whedon film era vibes all over this snarky high n mighty script. the only thing of note that i can possibly say is billy had cute glowing eyes and the credits had good buttrock.
0/10 no hoffman, no fun😤
#saw posting#phuz gets sawbrained#jigsaw 2017#boy i love the cop storylines sooo much. yknow what i always think when i see a saw? i always say “it needs more fuckin COPS”🙄#and i know that spiral is gonna be cop centric from what ive heard so yippeeeeee#just get thru them. just gotta get thru them till saw x. just ONE MORE TILL SAW X#it was good to hear and see tobin more at the very least. u can always tell he writes his own shit bc its actually GOOD#but i could not stomach the constant quips and self awareness it took me outof the sincerity and the graveness of the situations#they leaned way too hard into the damn pig thing. like i get it. it works for piiiigs#yes i wanted chinese zodiac answers. no i didnt get any. just jill raised pigs ig#i refuse this weird retconning of the saw characters. where the fuck is hoffman? where the fuck is amanda????#everything was fanservice with no actual bite no actual commitment. just a lot of “clap dammit clap!!”#except tobin ur good bb ilu#oh and it needed much more billy!!!#aughhhhh i am beginning to understand the suffering of the saw fandom. u guys are troopers for putting up w all this shit
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ok I have like 4 of those prompts left but I'm gonna save them so I have smth to look forward to tomorrow. tysm to everyone who sent some in!!! texting stuff always helps me get writing again and it helped me feel more normal again today which was much needed 💜
#the meme is of course still open too if anyone wants to send more uvu#but ye ilu guys 💜 hopefully I've got some energy again tomorrow#god after writing byan's texts all afternoon I'm coming so close to writing 2 instead of to everywhere now ajfkgsh#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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@1nvad3rz1m @verm1c1de
hello it is I, the ✨other✨ lard nar person
we’re besties by default sorry I don’t make the rules >:)
#mina talks#vermi found me first and he is the established Lard Nar Guy in my mind#but I’m looping you in now too mars :)#for dad nar love at least!! and ilu for your IZ analyses tooooo
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Honestly thank you tumblr for adding the "mutuals" moniker bc I am finding people that I'd been buds with for years reblogging shit and realized that I was NOT properly following them?? The worst.
#so yeah THANK YOU#you peeps probably know who you are too LOL#i'm sorry guys ilu i had no fucking clue
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Friend & I went to an extremely tiny convention today, where I bought this silly lil' guy (while dressed in Goro Majima cosplay, yep). Of course, I was then obligated to carry him around wherever we went — and the outing concluded with some yummy ramen ♥
#same friend just went home 'bout an hour ago#it's like three a.m. rn#hahaha orz#we got caught up in watching the Resident Evil movies after finishing Train to Busan and man we were laughing our asses off#the CHEESE it's so fucking good.#some parts making absolute no sense? also great. terrific.#then we played many video games too. oops.#well anyways that's what I've been up to#in between work @_@#I hope everyone's doing well!! <3 I may not have much time to hang around or chat as of late but — yeah! you know ilu guys.#» out to sea ( ooc. )
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* shaking uncontrollably *
#* OOC.#i have a light buzz#but scar and lyn have me going fucking insane over michael and his dynamics#ilu all and michael…. well he loves u guys too but he won’t admit it LOL
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