#ilove all my mutuals i hope ur doing well^__^

[jounce]

kez awake and on tumblr everyone get down!!!!!1

[spoopyyaoikingdom]

Oo oo I wanna add onto this with my own more realistic headcanons. So im gonna use urs as a prompt. Uhhh just to initially say I dooo love ur ideas and tons of ur writing. So dont think this is me critisizing it. I just agree with some and disagree with others and wanna like yes and it a bit and wanna share my thoughts but its a lot for the comments section! Okay disclaimer out the way!

I read and watch LOTS of hero stuff. Superhero and others like rise of the guardians, dcu, mcu, tmnt and otherwise. Videos, fics, tumblr posts, art and so on. So ill go off of something like the realistic side of heroes Ive seen and read about. Cuz a lot of these are good points but for how I think heroes are its a lil on the darker side. And not as hopeful? I dont wanna say pessimistic as thats not a good word but its not a fairytale. Oh black and white would work well.

Its more black and white abt it and veey very one sided. Which makes sense at the start but not with their relationship prgressing. Which can still have fun but yea. So ill do dark like you but a bit more shades of grey and going with how actual maybe first responders or ptsd esque or superhero shoes show romance.

Also im imagining tmnt all media personalities but im using mainly bayverse for physical. And some 2k12 stuff as I know those 2 best. Sorry for grammar issues. Im bad at it, trying my best and on mobile. Okay okay enough explaining sorry.

- I agree that master splinter would probably not agree. Maybe like you and so on but not agree. I think though less for just thats not what he taught them and I feel doesnt agree with them dating period. Like overprotective dad energy and thinking even if a breakup is mutual. He wouldnt want his sons to have to deal with that when they already have to deal with a lot being giant turtles. Or ever worry about if is it cuz they cant do this or that or etc. Also that itd be hard to date again since their pool of ppl close to them is small.

- Totally agree with you cant parade him around and show him off for sure.

- Definitely cant tell anyone abt him at all. Prolly ever. If at least for their own safety or cuz their not comfortable with itm Maybe you and him could talk about it. I knw for a fact my friends and family is small. Like 3 or 4 ppl really. And theyd have no issue with a lsrge mutant and stay quiet. But id never wanna tell anyone if they arent comfy and the more people knw the more people can slip.

I do think though u can say your dating. Or wear a ring and say your married. You dont wanna deal with people trying to hit on you or ask you out. If they do. Also talk abt them a lil. Id talk to them abt it firat but make a pseudonym and use the barest most basic info just for when people ask. Like: oh no they have a medical condition and have to stay at home, they love (reading, action movie, tech hobby, art, cooking, calligraphy), theyre the kindest man ive ever met and Ilove how they look at me the same way. Etc. Basic bish info type thing snd if they press for more like: Oh no we dont rlly discuss our relationship outside. We arent the kiss and tell or pda type, we prefer our privacy. Etc and block them full boundary if they bug you. The ring could be a promise ring simce marriage is on records. Etc. So on and so forth. So you hopefully at least dont have to deal with dating or questions or etc.

You could even say they travel overseas or something or its long distance. Any idea tht means no you wont see them and no i dont care if u want to.

- understandable about date nights not being formal but (for me) i prefer being inside anyway. Id prolly order take out to a usual drop spot they use etc and get pizza for them to and we can cuddle on the couch with netflix.

As for the date nights few and far between from what i know of tmnt stuff they regularly go out or do things on their own seperately. Especially raphael has constantly gone out on his own. Maybe not all the time but enough. So there could def be date nights scheduled and even just be stuff a lil before or wake up early to be after patrol. Or they can come by and u leave a window open so they can wake u. Might scare the daylights outta ya the first few times but ud get used to it. All about compromise and effort.

- his duty as ninja and protector. I think this is unbalanced. I feel like at first it would definitely be that way. But usually not everyone can stay black and white abt it as they come to care for someone. Theyd want to spend time with them and hang out and enjoy company. Still watch the city but even people like batman makes time and would at least be torn abt picking between you and them.

(Now its a 2 way street of course, theres two sides as a good boy/girl/friend/ partner. Would make it easier and tell them its okay to raincheck and so on and so forth and give them space for the both of us to make a rhythm. Vigilantism does not help dating life whether ur a turtle or not. Especially dating a civilian. But it has and can be done if both parties work at it)

- his lovw for his brothers and dad before u is a no brainer. I feel like even with april and casey theyd be torn or go straight to their brother. And a good friend/partner would understand that. They lived and known each othwr their whole lives. <3 no matter how much raph grumbles he adores them (like at the end of the first bayverse movie when their falling). Plus evidence of even mikey losing heart at friends nd family dying. And people like danny phantom going evil cuz of it. The struggles Batman has for his robins/kids or the city etc etc. Even if its life or death.

So it should definitely be something thats talked about together at some point.

- the brothers not approving. Ahhhh from how we seen how the act in all media. Itd be partially that, maybe a lil jealous at whoever got a date first as well (they are teenage boys who dream of being "normal" sometimes) i think Raph would be a bit jealous but hide it as snarking and or leo would be a teensy jealous but act dissapointed cuz he knws they "shouldnt date" for their own safety and their partners. But every single last one of them has had crushes on people and probably talk to each other about it or something.

And all of them have gone on what ifs (definitely when younger) for how theyd be for dating someone. Or who theyd wanna date. Hell considering hie they sneak off sometimes they could even end up in a secret relationship or an online one etc. The more you integrate in and get close to them. The more i think unlike splinter, theyd see how happy their brother is and be happy for them to. Mikey qnd donnie i feel would be the least judgemental about it. Especially mikey.

- bumping into things is par for the course. Whatever version u think of, if its not the height and sheer muscles and size of them its their shells being in small spaces, or their tails etc. Or maybe trip ok somethjng if its smaller then them and they dont see it. And etc like a bull in a china shop. They can be delicate but still lol

- for the dump thing. Well plenty of humans are like that. Either smell or size wise. I had a gross ass dad (didnt deserve the title rlly) and at the least it stank to hell. Now Im not gokna say they can use a toilet but THEY can at least be the one to fix the issue if needed. Since they did it. (Or call donnie/ raph to come by who are mr fix its lol) and spray febreeze well actually. No their noses would be sensitive, open a window and maybe a timed spray option or beg donnie for a remote control lil spray. They can close the door after them and press the button and bam. Now not a 1000 chemicals shoved in their sensitive noseys or subjecting their partner to nose burns as well lol.

You will have to be the one that gets extra toilet paper though. Or I also have a method i just basicslly hand bidet and towel when necessary. (My grandma was from santo domingo and she showed me. Its basically judta cup of water or sopay water and u pour it and wipe yourself clean. Rinse. Towel. Bam, handmade bidet lmao)

Edit extra: also i bet theyd be so shy or nervous about saying they did. Id be a lil disgruntled but sigh and just get something else to go in while i wait. Like whenever my "dad" did stuff id go to mamas room and shed have a bucket. I realize its odd nowwww but shes from an island so i just learned after her. Its no big deal and then u just toss it in the toilet after its fixed and flush. Add some bleaxh and water to it to soak in the bathroom and all done. No different then a long road trip or going in the woods. Better then the woods really. Who wants to get the plants close to their tush? Not me =.= OR you could also just walk over to a neighbor (if ur friendly with one) qnd ask to go there or a shop nearby. (If anyones awake or open at night that is)

- buying him clothes in right size, damn near impossible. True. I dont think im a seamstress and not everyone would be but I have come up with a few ideas at least to get them cute shirts. Basically modifying them to tie behind the neck and under the shell (wherever the hell the pants go to) or a large elastic band at the bottom around their waist. Or the bottom can just loosely hang under the shell and keep going like a ling shirt.

Also if none of thats possible, accessories. Even if they dont wear them often im sure theyd love u buying them things just cuz. Cute bracelets, headbands, ankle stuff, body jewelry (if one can fit), cute knick knacks for their room, charms, posters or gifts for them etc etc etc. And mikey at least wears hoodies around his waist. Soo~ and cloaks could fit to. Maybe. Trial and error :D

Id personally lean into my crafting even more, art, paint, crochet, embroidery etc. Make them monogrammed towels or paint their shell and they can paint you back. Etc all kinds of bonding stuff u can do. Similar to buying clothes.

But finding right size off the rack? Yea no thats near impossible. Shoes to, tho again if u get crafty u can knit them socks.

Bonus: arts and crafts bonding eith raph (who knits in bayverse) and Mikey (whos usually shown to be artistic/creative in general).

Hell even donnie and leo, donnie with his tech maybe you can buy models to do together. And leo with cslligraphy, he could show you how to do it. Or they two of you can try to learn different font styles together. Or like tea ceremonies to get accessorized and dress up for.

I kinda turned this into bonding in general to but i hope u get the idea.

- the kiss: no notes, just facts. Lmao it will be weird. And depending on the version of the turtles they dont technically have lips sometimes. But possible. Tons of size difference people. But oof yea no its gonna be akward and shy and so on.

- s*x: no notes. Its true. Will be weird. Especially if they have turtle d!cks. Which i imagine they do cuz cme on now how could they not. Itd at MINIMUM be internal and shaped a teensy bit different if not very different from a human.

Me tho: this isnt an issue im john constantine levels of monsterf^cker extraordinaire. (Tho i prefer exoph!lia for sentient sapient beings like mutant turtles. Its not so. Rude sounding since its for any alien or non human entity rather then just callin them a monster. Their d!ck though? Naw that THATS a monster omg)

But whether you can physically take it or not theres a TON of other stuff you can do. Im not gonna get into it in this post. Maybe in the comments if anyone wants to knw but im not having my post deleted cuz of idiot tumblr. Sigh. But no theres definitely a bunch of stuff you can do together either way.

- size and strength adjustment in general (especially bayverse those giant adorable bara bastards): Facts. Total facts. They should have more practice thanks to knwing casey and april but thats different then cuddling. Trial and error. Be prepared to be accidentally squooshed sometimes on accident or to have the mosr geather light touch that it tickles and feels irritating (ooo feathery touch makes my skin jump in a not good way. Like stuff crawlin on u) like your glass. But be patient their learning. You to will figure a rhthym (superman did).

Also would in fact have fun holding they stuff they made for themselves (omg its so big) and or giving them "Normal sized things" to see how adorable and cute it is in their palms/hands lmao. I cannot get over donnie holding that tiny juice box in bayverse.

- you can not and will not go on patrol with him: ah. I dont disagree just on delivery. If you met him and your both fighters you could prolly go, if u get a mask for ur safety. If your a civilian well, april is a civilian and she somwtimes goes on patrol. Same wirh casey, he was literally dude/kid with a. Hockey stick.

At minimum theyd definitely make you do training and etc. But this also doesnt take in fact if you WANT to go on patrol with them. I personally wouldnt mainly cuz im a homebody. But i would wanna learn to defend myself if nescessary or to not be useless ina. Fight. Also would prolly buy a gun or tazer to use on people and so one. Plentt of people (in these universes) become vigilantes so on and so forth. Id also prolly ask for basic medical training. Nothing donnie level just enough to change a bandage or know how bad a bruise is etc (especially if anyone hides an injury, cough, looking at raph cough)

He cannot and will not give details about patrol: ahhh thats definitely an ehhh situation to me. I feel like (this is where ptsd and first responders comes in) maybe at first their wary, then eventually dont wanna worry you. And/or also, it went bad and they dont wanna talk about it. They would talk abt it otherwise or maybe just mention how good they did in general. But the closer you get the more they tell you or if they would like comfort or cry abt something. So on.

- master splinter limiting time in the lair in the beginning makes sense but i feel like thatd change over time. Especially if the other option is the boys (impulsive sweeties they are. Especially raph) sneaking out to your place and or staying the night/day cuz they wouldnt get back on time. (Rarely patroling in day time tho its happened. Like im bayverse)

Because again as the relationship progresses theyd wanna see you when they can. Cuz they are sweet in the inside. As well as maybe another place thwy can run to for alone time or time away from the brothers and gang. They love each other but ooowee a new place to hide and not be bothered and/or spend time with their new relationship? Fucking score.

- april and casey coming first makes sense. Especially in the beginning. Theyre their first outside friends. Thats a big ass bond. I feel at most tht evevntually youd be mor equal but its like if someone calls abt your best friend since childhood getting in a car accident. Tht comes before a date and a good partner would knw april and casey are at minimum basically family. (Especially in bayverse since she apparently bloody saved AND named them even if the boys didnt/dont remember)

- no store bought gifts: I feel like itd be rare. Clearly they get money somehow and buy pizza and so on. I feel like depending how much they get and the time period (in case things can be delivered to an address) is what determines this. Plus april and casey could totally be told/asked for help to buy things. Im sure they already do help.

- Secret relationship: depending how you met. Yea i can say for sure theyd do it secret from their families at first for reaskns i listed before. And also to just have some time themselves with you without their siblings butting into it.

I am aromantic and grey ace but im a homebody. I dont rlly go looking for people. If i met one of them, romantically or plantonically id at least not be doin other people along with them.

I also do sort of love t cest stuff and hinestly wouldnt mind being with any of them/ all of them truly. Tho i think id be most compatible with donnie and mikey. Mikey especially being my crush since i was a kid. Sweet lil adorable goof of a goober. I just wanna snuggle him in blankets and have snacks all the timeee....honestly for people like donnie and mikey even if its never romantic like that to me id stay with them forever.

Ronance to me is the exact same as a platonic relationship. Ive never gotten feelings or anything thats different but i love all my friends and tell them so. Dates is just hanging out and having fun and FWB is emphasis on friends. Id wanna help them and be close. Maybe it sounds odd. I am a romcom lover. But its just.

Being friends +. And again OMG mikey is such a cutey patootie ahhh. Relationship of any kind is compromise and learning about each other. And Id be fine with being Queer Platonic Soulmates with someone like mikey or donnie. Donnie also a cutie patootie. Those adorable glasses and tht cute lil snort laugh (i do the same thing) and our interests align as i live art and i love coding (baby at it and prefer front end design.)

We could have a ton and i mean a TON of fun the 3 of us. :D

(Also not the reason but i also love the b team trope tht came up in 2012 especially whwre donnie and mikey are very close actually and raph and leo are closest. Use to be more equal as kids but Donnie getting more into texh and Mikey into his art made them a lil.... hbnnm. Anyway im sure u knw the trope..

Id be with them regardless if they wanted to but yea.)

Wed get along like peas in a pod. :D

End notes: almost same as in comments:

I hope u like it. OP. and yea i read a lot of fanfics. Ive thought about it in various ways a ton before this. Including more onesided ones where its more them vs you then you and them together sutuations.

I just wanted to make one tht sounded realistic but less one sided. As a relationship is a 2 way street. And ur amazing post gave me so many ideas and thoughts i wanted to share! :D

I made the ideas a bit darker to as ive been reading a lot of dp x dc crossover stuff and some heart wrenchings posts for some and wholesome af for others. So i was like. Bet lets go.

Bayverse TMNT head cannons that no one asked for. 👹

Listen, and I myself have been guilty of it, we all have over romanticized the boys and we do it all to often because we come here for, what we each believe that is, a perfect world. But let’s just back up a moment and think about it logically… if logic applies when it comes to walking, talking turtles. How would it really be if you met and happen to fall in love with one of the turtles? In reality? Let’s dig into it.

Master splinter may show you kindness and may even favor you, but he will never agree with one of his sons having a relationship. It’s against everything he has taught them and that will never change. It also puts his entire family at risk whether you like it or not.

You will never be able to introduce him to your family or friends. Again they work in the shadows for a reason. You can not simply parade your boyfriend around nor show him off.

You can not tell a soul about him or that you’re even dating him. In fact you can’t tell anyone you’re dating at all unless you want to lie about it and compromise his position.

He can’t take you on dates. Well… not normal or formal ones. Although he can get creative in his own way. But date night is few and far between because he has the city to protect.

His duty as a ninja and a protector of the city will always come before you.

His love for his brothers and father also come before you.

His brothers, much like splinter, don’t approve of your relationship for the same reasons. It compromises their most powerful weapon… secrecy.

He’s a ninja. Sneaking into your home is a cake walk, but your ceiling better be tall. Be prepared for him to bump into things unintentionally of course.

Pray to god he never has to take a shit at your house. Be prepared to do some plunging.

Buying him clothes in the right size…. Forget about it.

Your first kiss is going to be awkward. One he’s never kissed before and two your mouths are quite the size difference. It’s going to take practice.

The first time you have sex is going to be just as awkward. He’s going to be worried about his performance but mostly his size. And he’d be right to worry. He’s twice the size of any porn star you’ve seen.

It’s going to take time to adjust to his size… not just his dick ya nasty! I mean his size in general. He’s much stronger than the human man and sometimes he doesn’t know his own strength.

You can not and will not go on patrol with him. He can not and will not give you details about those patrols either.

Master splinter will limit your time in the lair. Combine that with work during the day and him on patrol all night. You will rarely get to see him unless he breaks code.

April comes before you. Casey too. You’ll have to leave the jealousy at the door.

He can not give you store bought gifts. Everything he gifts you will be hand made.

He more than likely will keep you a secret from his family for quite some time… if or when you get caught that is.

Could you handle that type of relationship? Honestly I think I could be a good fuck buddy for Raph but Leo I’d catch feelings for and I just don’t know if I could do it. Let me know in the comments what your thoughts are. 😍

[tvonq]

Blogs that really butter my croissant

I haven’t done one of these things in ages so this is gonna be long and messy HA 

The lovely MOOTS (mutuals): 

@forwyk @poryvee @jeonling @memesoo @ncdreamies @2honeyangel @phon @baekhyunie-l @babybyunie @kunhangjpg @nalahyuck @haecity @winnerspcy @pcys-l @markjeno @kunqian @renjunswendy @mnhynq @kyngsoos @nctdream @yeoltempo @tempogf @soo69 @inkaidible @tyoongs @j-onehunnit @zkdliin @redcucumbers @okmica @renjns @shipperholic-me @zuwus

The gang whomst I love with my whole heart ;-; 

@forwyk: wow okay idek how to start these things. Zahra I actually love you SO much. We’ve known each other for like?? almost 2 years (I love how you know the date). Ur the person that knows the most about me. We speak like everyday and I can say anything to you without getting blocked. You call me out pretty much all the time but then sometimes you apologise and 🤧💗💕 but I love the dynamics fam. We can both roast each other and threaten to block. AND YOU ALWAYS HAVE SCREENSHOTS AGAINST ME??? I HAVE NO MEMORY OF SAYING ANYTHING EVER A LSo I love opening ur snaps always and I love listening to u talk about anything. Sorry that I still don’t know how to make hot chocolate 😞🤙🏽 Also I love our random conversations that spark out of nowhere (sorry for making you stress 💀💀). I’d eat haribos while looking at f**t for you.

@jeonling: HANNAHAHSJKDLASDUHFKSAD WE’ve been speaking more recently and I can already see the message ur gonna send me. “this is really cringey but I love you 🤧💕” AND ILOVE YOU TOO!!1111!11!! I love popping up to u asking about anything and you won’t even question them half the time (you just call me out on my tags but I appreciate when you just sigh heavily and force urself to ignore them HHA GOTEEEMMMMM KSDJKSJDKS). Our convos last like 2 seconds but we have several so it’s okay fam ksjdksd yeah my replies are bad but i���m taking all ur msgs in and i love it :( also I love when u send memes n shit (I watch that rasputin video all the time). I honestly think you find joy from roasting tf out of me like you just join in when Zahra calls me out and u do it so seriously??!??!?!? li ke hello??!??!? were u included????😫😫😫 buT I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME!!!

@ncdreamies: my heart just fell out of my ass. BECCY YOU WERE THE ONE HWO SENT ME AN ANON A GES AGO ASKING HOW SOMEONE WERE TO START A CONVO WITH ME??? 😖😖IH DKSUFHSKLADH SO CUTE AND THAT WAS SO LONG AGO???? our relationship is just built on sending wholesome memes back and forth with each other. We don’t talk much but it never feels awkward when talking to you. Ur the type of friend that tells me to do the stupid thing. I’d say “should i put my dikc in the blender” and you’d tell me “add noodles”. buuHTUJDF IM getting emo omg I HOPE UR DOING WELL IVLVOE OYU  AND I’D EAT KETCHUP FOR YOU. I still dont forgive you for making me a heart out of ketchup...the thought was taken into consideration. (but you literally CHOSE to draw it in ketchup and send it to me) 😡💞