#ilona’s work thoughts

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

"nobody wants to work anymore" but a low paying casual retail job wants you to travel to a capital city you don't live in, which is a considerable distance and time travelled from you (when you actively have a branch of this shop in your LOCAL shopping centre, 15mins down the road); for a group interview assessment centre. they then make you CONGA LINE into the said group interview with party poppers and streamers. like ma'am. I don't care how "ironic hipster millennial and 90s nostalgia" and "life of the party" this brand is supposed to be. but I ain't conga lining into this interview like a fucking clown. fuck some hiring managers and HR depts, honestly.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

it's like earlier this year here in australia, some fucking idiots guys thought it'd be funny to drop off several kilo's worth of tins of soup..... all of which were several years out of date.... to food banks around sydney that are currently being used by everyone in the cost of living crisis. they were fined like 70k for dropping off that purposely expired food.

[mangyraccooon]

I inflict on you my modern dragodile brainrot

Random thoughts that I didn’t have energy to draw

- this is the only “safe” timeline from the canon event (divorce) ie they never fell out (their best selves)

- croc would’ve killed at rugby (I base pre transition croc off of a American rugby player Ilona Maher, she’s amazing fr)

- dragon is the singer/ front man of the punk rock band revolutionary army or the “revs”

- croc runs baroque works a company that deals with property development

- everyone at baroque works thought croc was a widower for like the longest time (it’s seriously embarrassing)

- croc 100% stares at the billboard whenever he misses his husband is bored

- dragons music is like des rocs mixed with falling in reverse (one day i animate bad girls club)

- they have matching tattoos (for luffy)

While they are both very cool they immediately become massive losers whenever within 10 ft of Luffy

Some examples

Crocodile losing his reading glasses on his head

Dragon shrieking when startled (he had headphones in)

Both running into a solid object while staring at the other; pole, door, car, wall

They have a super solid partnership (mainly because they are ok being on their own, they don’t have to be with each other 24/7) it’s not the classic I need you in my life it’s I don’t need you but I want you in my life.

[trofysisters]

Тося, Илона

Могли бы подчиненные Илоны узнать в мирной домохозяйке, пекущей блинчики, своего сурового генерала? За время декрета Илона решила развить свои навыки, в том числе в готовке. (Could Ilona's subordinates recognize their stern general in a peaceful housewife baking pancakes? During her maternity leave, Ilona decided to develop her skills, including cooking)

Так они вместе с мужем Виктором и присматривали за сыном, изучая учебники. (So she and her husband Victor looked after their son, studying textbooks)

Тося привезла с работы коллегу, с которой хотела подружиться, но та, возможно из зависти, предложила Тосе бросить высокооплачиваемую работу градостроителем и стать продавцом в Маккорм-авто, где работал Илья старшим менеджером. (Tosya brought home a colleague from work with whom she wanted to be friends, but she, perhaps out of envy, suggested that Tosya quit her high-paying job as a city planner and become a salesperson at McCorm-Auto, where Ilya worked as a senior manager)

Отмахнувшись от сомнительного предложения, Тося пошла переодеваться к празднованию Дня рождения любимого внука. Виктор очень хотел, чтобы его мама тоже пришла, но Вера работала, как и Илья. (Having brushed off the dubious offer, Tosya went to change clothes for the celebration of her beloved grandson's birthday. Victor really wanted his mother to come too, but Vera worked, just like Ilya)

Отмечали День рождения в узком кругу без семьи Тимофея, поскольку он сидел дома со своими младшими детьми, но Иван всё равно был счастлив на 14 000 баллов и мечтал �� новых игрушках. (They celebrated the birthday in a small circle without Timofey's family, since he was sitting at home with his younger children, but Ivan was still happy 14,000 points and dreamed of new toys)

Но костюмчик внуку Тося подобрала такой старомодный, что Виктор поспешил в магазин за новой одеждой. (But Tosya picked out such an old-fashioned suit for her grandson that Victor hurried to the store for new clothes)

Он купил заодно новую одежду для жены и тещи. В магазине Виктор увидел сестру, но та почти сразу ушла. Вероника приходила не одна, а с мамой, которую Виктор был очень рад видеть. (He also bought new clothes for his wife and mother-in-law. Victor saw his sister in the store, but she left almost immediately. Veronica came not alone, but with her mother, Victor was very happy to see her)

Для мамы всё должно быть самое лучшее, поэтому он повел ее в ресторан. На самом деле, выбор был невелик: кафе либо ресторан, но Вера часто ходила в кафе с Васей, и Виктор не хотел вызвать в ней чувство утраты. (For her mother, everything should be the best, so he took her to a restaurant. In fact, the choice was small: a cafe or a restaurant, but Vera often went to a cafe with Vasya, and Victor did not want to make her feel lost)

Конечно, он тоже очень скучал по отцу. Чтобы отвлечь маму от грустных мыслей, Виктор рассказывал ей об успехах Ивана. (Of course, he also missed his father very much. To distract his mother from sad thoughts, Victor told her about Ivan's successes)

К сожалению или к счастью, Илона требовала от сына успехов, ведь у него успешные родители. Чтобы порадовать маму, Иван захотел получить пятерку в школе, но на самом деле его интересовали игры на детской площадке, скакалки, рисунки - то, что должно интересовать обычного ребенка. (Unfortunately or fortunately, Ilona demanded success from her son, because he has successful parents. To please his mother, Ivan wanted to get an A at school, but in reality he was interested in playing on the playground, jumping ropes, drawing - things that should interest an ordinary child)

Утром Илона пошла принимать ван��у, там и родила близнецов - Вику и Витю. (In the morning, Ilona went to take a bath, where she gave birth to twins - a girl Vika and a boy Vitya)

Главврач Эдуард прибежал на помощь и обалдел от количества внуков у Тоси. (The head doctor Eduard came running to help and was stunned by the number of grandchildren Tosya had)

Уложив малышей спать, Виктор позаботился о жене, ведь она очень устала от беременности и родов. Хорошо, что об Иване заботиться почти не нужно, он сидит себе тихонечко с книгой по физиологии и изучает откуда берутся дети. (Having put the kids to bed, Victor took care of his wife, because she was very tired from pregnancy and childbirth. It's good that there is almost no need to take care of Ivan, he sits quietly with a book on physiology and studies where babies come from)

Тося решила запустить воздушного змея, купленного в Лавке мастеров, вот только черные тучи будто предвестники неизбежного вызывали в ней беспокойство. (Tosya decided to launch a kite bought at the Masters' Shop, but the black clouds, like harbingers of the inevitable, made her uneasy)

Вместе с Ильей она перемыла косточки ветреной Наде и понесла кормить внучку, надеясь быстро вернуться к мужу и продолжить в более романтической атмосфере. (Together with Ilya, she washed the bones of the flighty Nadya and carried her granddaughter to feed, hoping to quickly return to her husband and continue in a more romantic atmosphere)

Но случиться этому было не суждено. Когда Илона увидела призрачную фигуру, у нее подкосились ноги от дурного предчувствия. (But it was not meant to be. When Ilona saw the ghostly figure, her legs buckled from a bad feeling)

Илья прожил долгую, насыщенную и счастливую жизнь, уйдя на 73 году жизни, но его близкие были безутешны. (Ilya lived a long, rich and happy life, passing away at the age of 73, but his loved ones were inconsolable)

Виктор постарался поддержать своих близких, �� за ужином Иван с детской непосредственностью спросил: "А бабушка тоже умрет?". Пусть это звучало грубо, но на самом деле мальчик очень любил всех своих родных. (Victor tried to support his loved ones, and at dinner Ivan asked with childish spontaneity: "Will grandma die too?" Although it sounded rude, in fact the boy loved all his relatives very much)

Тося ушла в свою комнату, куда поставила урну Ильи, чтобы в одиночестве предаться скорби. Она не собиралась сдаваться так просто, она хотела найти способ победить Смерть, ведь они с Ильей еще не исполнили их последний танец. (Tosya went to her room, where she put Ilya's urn, to mourn alone. She was not going to give up so easily, she wanted to find a way to defeat Death, because she and Ilya had not yet performed their last dance)

Может стоит брать пример с детей? Иван, погоревав по дедушке, вновь занялся своими детскими забавами, ведь всему свое время. (Maybe it is worth following the example of children? Ivan, having grieved for his grandfather, again took up his childish games, because everything has its time)

[imanes]

doing a lil august reading wrap up because apparently i read 13 (!!) books. in chronological order (bolded are those i recommend):

city of stairs by robert jackson bennett: quite the interesting read. i think the character work in this one is a standout, as well as the world building. the good thing is i have no idea where this trilogy is going so it's exciting. the audiobook for the second book arrives in 2 weeks on my shelves on libby so I'll be reading the sequel soon

braiding sweetgrass by robin wall kimmerer: this one took me a whole entire year to read and finish lol. no comment. or maybe one comment: i think i'd have found this book a lot more eye opening if i had read it three years ago so right book wrong time i guess? i do recommend it i just think it didn't impact me as much as i thought it would

the blighted worlds by megan e. o'keefe: this one hit me like a truck!! i was so obsessed. it's a sci-fi space opera with an element of horror and an interesting romance sub-plot. basically everything i love lmao. i really do recommend this book it might actually be my fave of the month

sanctuary by ilona andrews: i have to stay up to date on all things kate daniels-related to this spin off was high on my tbr. it was a lot of fun but it petered out toward the end

where the dark stands still by a.b. poranek: a bit of a let down not gonna lie. the gist of my opinion is that it felt underdeveloped and in turn i felt under-interested in whatever was going on

shadows of self by brandon sanderson: once again i am begging the protagonists of this series to stop being aggravating

the fractured dark by megan e. o'keefe: continuing my obsession with the devoured worlds trilogy... unfortunately i have to wait on my libby hold to get the audiobook of the next one (i read with my eyeballs and listen at the same time to help with concentration)

the right to sex - feminism in the 21st century by amia srinivasan: i read this book because i know of two people who broke up with their significant other (one of them resulting in a divorce) after reading this book so i had to know what srinivasan had cooked in there and yeah she did cook.

the way of kings by brandon sanderson: just part of my re-read in preparation of the release of wind and truth in December. this month we tackle (again) words of radiance teehee

just for the summer by abby jimenez: womp womp womp. idk what it is with romance authors these days they're in a competition with themselves to portray the healthiest love stories but this one teetered on the wrong side of boring one too many times and the volume to therapy-speech in this one was staggering.

the ex vows by joyce jessica: twas a cute poolside read, it's nothing revolutionary but it was pleasant enough and it didn't make me roll my eyes like just for the summer jdkjgsk at least the love interest had a personality and a life... i mean it's fiction so it's not a life but it appeared as if he contained multitudes or something

funny story by emily henry: I'll go ahead and say it nobody writes a contemporary romance quite like miss henry because she's got the secret recipe for the right balance between heartfelt feelings and amusing situations + her dialogues feel a lot more natural than most (though if i had to nitpick she always has this side character who's a fountain of wisdom and gives you life-changing monologues but i guess such people exist out there)

the thief by megan whalen turner: the megans are really out in full force because this is another book written by a megan that i loved so much. yes half of this book is a fairly episodic journey across made-up countries, yes i ate it up, yes the second half is worth the wait (if you were out of patience, which i wasn't, bc i was having fun) and yes the plot twists are chef's kiss. "gen's ambitions are his own" is the perfect summary. everand has all the audiobooks so you know what I'm gonna do... that's right... listen and read at the same time

as an aside the tandem reads i do with both books and audiobooks happen only when i like the narrators. if i find a narrator i like i stick to them like glue because they're few and far between as far as my picky ass is concerned. i never do romance audiobooks they're the worst...

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

you apply for several jobs on seek (my preferred job site), indeed or jora. a couple get back to you and say "please do our preemptive psych (aptitude) tests/chat bot/fun games assessment/s with an online video interview (within the next 48hrs).... so that we can assess your viability for this role."

you do the bs chatbot/psych test/automated video interview etc etc. some of these give you an instant response after doing them, which you kinda like.... but also really absolutely hate. every test result you get back basically tells you that you're a walking contradiction: you LOVE to dominate conversations, which means your co-workers are somehow terrified of you. so please learn to PIPE FUCK DOWN, LISTEN AND TAKE IN OTHER PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS/FEEDBACK etc (which you do anyway). however, you are also EXTREMELY SHY and goal-oriented.... which means your productivity is moderately ok, but doing just a bit more will make you a go-getter.... but uh. have we told you that your coworkers and clients will NEVER get to know you deeply?? so, learn to speak up and make friends in the workplace and also have good client relationships 😊!

wait! wait! we're not done tearing you limb from limb yet!!! have you considered that your productivity is actually awful because you're so easily distracted and don't like routine??? have you considered that this lack of attention can ruin your KPI achievement targets.... and single-handedly utterly destroy the performance efforts of the ENTIRE team and company???? we suggest focusing on streamlining your workflow and productivity habits.... and totally NEVER getting distracted EVER, so YOU make US money and not the other way round 😤😡. also, maybe apply for something that involves a whole load of rules and stable methods (bc we conversely think you're also a very stable and consistent person emotionally), not an ever changing admin position!!! (BTW: we'll never tell you that these "rule loving" jobs include anywhere between $10,000 of study (at the very least for tafe) to $30,000+ for a degree (at the most) or SEVERAL years of work experience.... which you very obviously don't have for even a junior position, let alone a middle management or senior position).

hey, we're nearly done! we swear 😰! don't leave yet... if you're still breathing that is 😅😂!!! isn't this so much fun 🙃?!! congrats on being able to analyse the complex relationships in teamwork environments... if only you could collaborate- which you do well, actually, because you're super laid-back (everyone wants someone like you on their team 💞..... just not us though lol 😋) - and LEAD, maybe???? but also DON'T be a leader, and try to really achieve "above and beyond" (despite what we said in the job description).... because we don't want you thinking that you're actually able to do anything of meaning to you... and that you can really achieve your said big goals, with us in tow 🙃. finally, NEVER be laid-back in the work environment. we construe this as being lackadaisical (which is a BIG, intelligent word for L A Z Y, if you didn't already know that 🤓! also.... are you a young millennial or gen z??? hehehe! we've got you all figured out 😎) which means you'll NEVER do YOUR work to OUR fake desired standard/s anyway 🙃.

PHEW! that was a lot! thanks! have a wonderful day. now GO FUCK YOURSELF 😊' [one more teenie tiny thing: please give us feedback on this reading! how did we do??? 😊]

you then read these bullshit results to a family member. they are HORRIFIED at the utter lack of respect, transparency, care, trust, integrity and human interaction in the hiring processes of the modern job market, mostly for the office admin and retail jobs that you've been applying for. when ironically, all of those attributes you just listed above (and sometimes more) are the so-called values/mission/goals of EVERY firm/business etc that you've applied for.

the downright rudeness and callousness of being absolutely torn to shreds by a shitty little bot; for a big retail chain's christmas casual position, that they use to save time to cut in-person interview times.... all to be told that that's why you'll never be a check-out chick for 3 months over christmas.... is fucking awful and deflating. (although, not that it matters. you didn't really want it anyway. you tell yourself). being told that you won't/can't sit on a computer and phone, using word, excel and the business's CRM all day.... doing admin for what feels the 10 billionth fuckin local office or government dept/council job, or other fucking small local places that you've applied for.... all bc "you have big dreams" or "you love to talk. but not at your job" or whatever other condescending, demotivating and backhanded bullshit that they've said in these test results... is humiliating, depressing and undermining as all fuck.

all bc you selected the wrong answers in a "fun mini-game" about how to reply to work colleagues in the company chat program, whatever that may be. or all the other shitty psych/aptitude test mini games that i played for big firms for uni grad programs back in uni in 2017. or, you've selected the wrong answers in a more ~traditional~ psych/aptitude test for a local educational institution like a uni or a technical/trade college.

it makes you question what the actual goddamned fuck the HR people actually want. what the actual fuck the bot is trained to snuff out and highlight and gush all over in someone's resume, interview and test answers, like a big corporate cum stain. are they really as "fair", "consistent" and "equitable" or whatever the fuck else benevolent words companies use to describe them??? are they ethical??? am i going insane??? would it be healthier for me just to jump off a cliff into the ocean filled with blood hungry cartoon sharks circling below??? would it be better to [enter, pursued by a bear] when i FINALLY get another interview.... if i EVER get another one; just to serve justice???? if it's a dog eat dog world, why don't i just become a golden retriever that just wants to eat treats and make dog and human friends on the daily??? if the world has gone to the dogs or the bears or sharks; wouldn't it just be fucking nice to bring one along with you, to make a point????

it's utter shit out here, lads [gender neutral]. we're all fucking tired and dead inside. it's why "no one wants to work anymore", as the piss-baby weak employers LOVE to bitch and moan. but: why work when you're disrespected from the fucking outset??? why work when you realise that you'll NEVER have the upper hand in any-fucking-thing??? why work when you're ignored constantly or even ghosted by employers??? the questions go on and on and on. "stop being deafeatist!" or whatever other word/phrase i can hear the "no one wants to work anymore!"crowd shout. no. im tired. we're tired. we're motherfucking done.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. The silence is deafening.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. Half of them require you to create an account on the company website. You leave a trail of ghost accounts that will be used once and never again. You never receive a response.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers an interview, but it's so rare for you to receive any response that you forget to check the website and you miss the time.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers an interview, but you don't know the magic words that signal to the esoteric mind of an interviewer that you're fit for the job.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer e-mails you saying that 'unfortunately, you do not have the qualifications we are looking for'. You check the job again and see you applied to be a menial labourer.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. Half of them require a car. No one stops to ask how you're supposed to afford one with no job.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers a job. The commute makes you want to die in your sleep.

You call the HR manager for the workplace in hopes of arranging an interview more directly. They don't even have an answering machine.

Employers complain that no one wants to work anymore.

[unpassive-viewer]

I'd like to thank the women of the Olympics for making me care about sports for two weeks. Julien Alfred? Ilona Maher? Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce and her amazing hair? Kim Ye-Ji? Sha'Carri Richardson? Quan Hongchan and Chen Yuxi? Imane Khelif? BGirl Nicka, 671, Ami, India, etc etc etc? The Olympics are for the GIRLS. I learned more about rugby this week than I'd ever thought I would. I became an expert in diving. I started wondering if I should take up climbing. I can't believe I'm even considered the same species as these women.

I loved seeing everyone looking how they wanted to, with tattoos and hair done and nail extensions and rhinestones and lipstick. The Olympics is such a conformist organization, it was so cool to see where women found ways to work their personalities into their sports.

[kimetsu-chan]

Disclaimer! ⚠️: this is not meant to take jabs at the ocs as some of these characters have unpleasant personalities. I chose these based on similar traits, outfits they’d look good in, and the ultimate talents. If you would like me to alter the outfit, I will. It just needs to be recognizable as the specific character’s outfit. This will take me an incredibly long time, upwards to multiple weeks. Since I am doing splash arts and one big art piece. If you are uncomfortable with the character your oc was given, please let me know and I’ll do my best to rearrange things. I will only being drawing YOUR oc in THEIR outfit and pose. I will not be mixing the characters.

this’ll be a long post so get ready

First off, this can contain spoilers for Danganronpa V2.

Kyoko Kirigiri technically shows up for the anime version on V2 but I want to include as many ppl as possible. + she’s my favorite so haha

Oc: Akari Fuyutsuki (@thewinterpillarhashira)

Talent: The Ultimate Detective

An honorable mention since Eva thought Celestia would work better than Makoto 😋

Oc: Eva Himiko (@muitsuri)

Talent: The Ultimate Gambler—

Byakuya Togami is the first person I thought of for this oc 😋 he and Makoto are sorta same in the sense that they appeared in the anime. Although Byakuya had an impersonator pretend to be him in the actual game

Oc: Celestine Ellis (@saffron0v0)

Talent: Ultimate Affluent Prodigy

IF ANYONE KNOWS TERUTERU’S PERSONALITY, IM NOT TRYNA BE MEAN I PROMISE— I hate Teruteru okay 😭 I just like his accent and outfit

Oc: Kirika (I couldn’t find her last name) (@ta-ni-ya)

Talent: The Ultimate Chef

Mahiru Koizumi so underrated omg 😭 I loovveee herrrr.

Oc: Marilyn Kaizumi (@cloudymistedskies)

Talent: The Ultimate Photographer

Peko Pekoyama has such a fun name omg. I like saying it over and over again. Once again, and underrated character

Oc: Ilona Dulina (@tokito-dulya20)

Talent: The Ultimate Swordswoman

I don’t really like Hiyoko either, but she’s adorable and I think her outfit would suit this oc very well

Oc: Akira Sakuranbura (@tinyperson00)

Talent: The Ultimate Traditional Dancer

Ibuki is so chaotic and I love it. She’s so adorable. I love that she’s described to be pitch perfect and tone deaf at the same time—

Oc: Irina Gonshira (@shycroissanti)

Talent: The Ultimate Musician

Mikan is such a shy girl. She also cries when embarrassed and stutters a lot. She’s not my favorite, but I don’t hate her. She’s really clumsy which I find relatable—

Oc: Milo Suzuki (@larz-barz)

Talent: The Ultimate Nurse

Usami will be taking the place of Nekomaru since I don’t feel comfortable with draw Yuna in his clothes and such. Plus Usami’s the teacher and I thought it would be fitting.

His character was a little hard to choose, but he’s actually pretty adorable. He calls everyone else “mortals” and he’s my sister’s favorite character

Oc: (I can’t remember her name 😭) (@littleolspring112)

Talent: The Ultimate Animal Caretaker

Nagito is quite possibly the most popular character in the entire franchise. Man has simps left and right. It’s probably bc he’s a little crazy— and he has a rlly sad backstory 😭 he’s also the ✨ main antagonist ✨

Oc: Boo (idk their last name) (@boo-simplified)

Talent: The Ultimate Lucky Student

Chiaki is the lead female character and I like her quite a lot!

Oc: Hanako Kimura (@rion-isnot-an-ai)

Talent: The Ultimate Gamer

Hajime Hinata is the lead protagonist in this game CONGRATS TO THIS OC WHO HAS HIM

Oc: Yuki Ayaka (@sweetstarryeyedgirl)

Talent: He doesn’t have a talent though 💀

I think you can tell by just looking at him… but he’s the mastermind. He also shares a body with Hajime 😃 (wee wo wee wo, wee wo wee wo weeeee—)

Oc: Ayuna Katsuki (@ayunakatsukiwolfhashira)

Talent: I think he’s also talentless, just really smart—

My beautiful, stupid, girl. I love Akane. She’s really energetic and loud so she fits this oc

Oc: Asai (I can’t find her last name 😚) (@night-mince0)

Talent: The Ultimate Gymnast

Sonia’s got two outfits, I’ll do this one though. She’s a literal sweetheart

Oc: Kiyoka Watanabe (@kiyokatokito)

Talent: The Ultimate Princess 0-o

Kazuichi is such a goody goober. Keep your beanie on though. Please.

Oc: Amari Delarosa (@naramaiz)

Talent: The Ultimate Machanic

Kazuichi calls him “boss man” and “baby face”. He hates it. Internally a sweetheart though

Oc: Basil (idk his last name) (@aceofstars0)

Talent: The Ultimate Yakuza— yes he’s part of the mafia. or at least his parents are

And that was the last one 😭

ima plan on doing a group pic, but I might not end up doing it— just cause it’s a lot of work 😭

Ima replace Nekomaru with Usami/Yuna and add poses for everyone else who’s character doesnt show up (that’s not Byakuya I promis, that’s the impersonator)

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

welcome to the hell world. thank god I haven't been hit with this yet for aussie retail chains

[gthiah-if]

Gone to HELL in a Handbasket - 18+ Interactive Fiction (wip) - by glucosify

tags : urban fantasy (inspired by late 70s / early 80s), romance, supernatural, mystery, satanic and occult themes, cults, 18+ rating for violence, sexual content, mental illness and more

A simple pizza delivery turns sinister when you find yourself trapped with 5 other strangers in a decaying place that hides a dark history and darker secrets.

Demo here on itch.io ⋄ last update: May 2023 ⋄ word count : ~7,400 (~13,100 with code)

Only the prologue is available for now, you won't play as the main character until chapter 1 :^)

Features :

a story that (loosely) takes place in the late 70s, in NYC

custom made UI : dark, light and retro themes, mobile friendly, adjustable fonts, font sizes and weights

customizable MC : play as male, female, non-binary, touch starved, touch averse.. and choose your appearance and personality

figure out the secrets left behind and find a way out - one way or another

choose to forsake an imminent evil or become part of something greater

decide if your companions are trustworthy or simply useful for your own goal

five gender selectable romantic options (male, female, non-binary) - choose their pronouns and appearances separately / romance is optional but will most likely be a big part of the story

Romantic Options :

Mahalia / Marlon / Mars "MOONLANDER" Harris : a sarcastic and pragmatic computer operator; they’re an arcade, tech and sci-fi lover through and through

Amélie / Alexandre / Astin "ACE" Beaulieu : a college athlete with a sunny disposition who's currently feeling lost and going through a difficult time

Gina / Gil / Gera "GUMDROP" Fernández Alfonso : charismatic and resourceful, this social work student's desire to help others always seems to break through their fear of letting people get too close

Ilona / István / Írisz "IRIS" Juhász : though they lack in life experiences due to a sheltered upbringing, they possess a gentle thoughtfulness and vivid imagination

Kat / Kit / Ky "KILLJOY" Miller : a reckless straight-edge hardcore punk with a sharp tongue and an honest heart

LINKS : FAQ ⋄ TAGLIST ⋄ MASTERLIST ⋄ GOOGLE FORM (feedback & bug report)​ ⋄ DISCORD (TBA) ⋄ PINTEREST (TBA)

This blog will be used to post updates and anything related to the IF - answered asks, scenarios, headcanons, short drabbles etc..

started in december 2022 - first update in may 2023 - b&w image from untermyergardens.

[my-unwanted-comentarry]

Ok, final thoughts: as I have been hinting, I was watching this with a friend, and we’ve been talking about it, sorry it’s late,

What the actual heck was going on with Carrie Ann tonight. Like, she was giving wild scores. How did chandlers not get a ten. I was a Carrie Ann apologist before this, but idk. Ilona deserved higher over all, but like, was it like a production thing that Chandler can’t get a perfect ten this early?

Idk

It should not have been Jenn, it should have been either Dwight, bachelor or football. (I’m so sorry, I cannot tell them apart/ remember their names, I’m really not trying to be disrespectful)

I was honestly shocked it was Jenn, she deserves better. I think this show was really an outlet for her working though some stuff. I’m now waiting for the bombshell about whether the showmance was real or not. I’m leaning towards they are good freinds, but idk.

I wish Jenn the best, she was truly iconic. 🫶🏻

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

i agree with this. as someone who at 16-18 in 2012 and 2013, selected to do entertainment industry as part of her hsc/end of high school exams bc she thought there'd be no maths or next to no maths in it...... but was then surprised that: shock! horror! she had to know how to budget for a music festival project!! all so that she could have a decent festival line-up AND audio equipment for the bands/musical artists to play..... in the actual exam, i had to calculate power loads of lighting setups in a multiple choice question (i just looked at this for this post for shits and giggles lol).... but i guessed this question. you DO need maths. and this was at TAFE. i.e. technical college. where a good load of the courses need- yep, you guessed it- M A T H S.... to some extent.

for someone who had a friend, who at that time was training to be a primary school teacher.... but that friend decided to drop maths bc "it's ruining my schedule and marks, and i won't need it to teach year 2 students!" you DO need maths. here's an article about how aussie student teachers are failing the necessary maths test to get into teaching (and i relate to this bc the woman they interviewed for the article gave up in year 9 maths). unfortunately, you DO need high school level maths to teach any level of schooling. be it from kindy to year 12.

as someone who was dumb enough to try to do CHEMISTRY in her hsc without maths in her schedule.... before the careers counsellor at the public school she moved to said "NO. that's a terrible idea. impossible, actually.".... so, instead she had to settle for biology (which she only passed by the tiny miracle of mark scaling in my final exam.... she HATED bio lol) at the school she moved to.... bc her year group either wasn't offered senior science or not enough people selected senior science for it to run.... or that that school had no funding at the time for a senior science class for my year (much like drama)..... YOU FUCKING NEED MATHS.

i got told at business college in 2014, by my trainer, that i had to fix up my maths skills.... bc all of the fake numbers i was using for estimated fake quotes for ad agency fees in some assignments.... and the marketing budget figures i was pulling out of my ass were "all wrong" and "you can't do that in a marketing firm in the real world." but i could do it there.... just so he could have a laugh at my godawful, totally out of proportion, guesstimation skills. mind you, I did that marketing course instead of doing the uni like prep course at my local uni's "uni college" bc that needed at least baseline year 10 maths or year 11/12 general maths- I can't remember now.

my hatred/loathing for maths came from the perceived perfection they wanted in book work. why bother trying, if i was ALWAYS made into the "so, kids. this is the WORK WE DON'T WANT in your books!!! do NOT be this person!!" example in front of the class, ranging from primary school til year 10 in 2011???? it just made me give up and toss it aside; and be like "y'all motherfuckers can go fuck yourselves. my book work does NOT have to be accurate or perfectly neat at ALL, if i'm not going to be an engineer or a mathematician. so fuck you" so, it was better for me to drop it in years 11 and 12 so I didn't have to put up with this bs in maths for 2 more years.... and also so i didnt have to deal with it in maths class at a new school, to boot.

unfortunately, however, any lower jobs or even office jobs, want me to be at least numerate. but i have no idea how to use a calculator to calculate percentages. i have no idea how to convert measurements or distances. word problems always fucked me up in school.... but it's 10 times worse at 28; when you do a bs aptitude test for a job and I have no fucking idea what the actual fuck the word questions are asking.... or how to do a ratio question such as:

that i got in a job test JUST LAST WEEK..... even means. like what the fuck???? what the fuck is this??? why the fuck do I need to know this garbage just to do an admin traineeship??? fuck off. but unfortunately i have to know it..... but i have zilch idea of what the fuck it means, and what the answer is, or how to work it out. so i just blind guessed the answer as 1/2 or 1/3. or whatever the fuck the answers were.

an airforce job i looked at the other day (only bc it said NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED); said i needed a pass at least in year 10 english, science and maths. although i more than definitely had a pass in year 10 english (around a B a i think in my semester 2 report of 2011) and a pass- around a C grade- in year 10 science (although it asked specifically for the physics unit.... which i have FUCK ALL idea what i got in that portion of year 10 science)..... but what was my maths grade for year 10???? E grade- basically an aussie F for americans. it means/t elementary. if you're wondering. i always tried to get everyone to high 5 me for failing maths throughout high school.... including my year 7 and 9 naplan tests... that were, and still are, national literacy and numeracy tests. i was in the guinea pig rollout group for these tests, unfortunately. in both year 7 and 9 naplans, i got band 1 (the worst mark) across the board, in both of the maths papers: with a calculator and without a calculator... but my english marks were ALWAYS in the high band 7s and 8s- about average or slightly better than average.

but you get the point. my numeracy and other maths skills are fucking abysmal. all because i REFUSED to do anything in maths from about year 4 in 2005, onward.... but alas. however, it's cost me a huge detriment. i don't know how to use excel, AT ALL, because i'd make my dad do those "worthless" 5% assessments about excel formulas and spreadsheets..... bc "it fucks with my brain. therefore i dont have to do it. and also, i'll be a trophy wife and famous by 25.... so i'll ALWAYS have someone to do this bullshit maths for me, anyway. so why even fucking bother doing it, lmao???" (i'm just soooo ~funny and edgy~, arent i???) but i still lie through my teeth on my resume, to say that i have basic functional skills on excel..... but they're all around text formatting and word art and table formatting (lol)... basically all about making it look pretty (oh and mail merge picked up last year). but NO real maths skills. NO interesting skills around vlookup or more advanced excel usage skills.

even though i had a professor that liked me (or seemed to like me) in sociology at uni, who told me that i belonged in sociology bc of my personality..... i actively avoided it. bc it meant i had to relearn year 10 statistics for the "social research methods" subject that EVERYONE hated in the sociology major/minor. bc after all, we were arts students (lol not lol). i actively avoided psychology electives and avoided a business degree and majors/subjects for the same reason. in philosophy - YES EVEN PHILOSOPHY - i had to interpret graphs and tables bc some of the fields we did/i chose overlapped into the sciences (e.g. psychopathy in ethics (i think) or social cognition in philosophy of mind i think).... those were the subjects where i realised i had no idea how the fuck to read graphs anymore.... so i'd purposely skip over those pages.... even if they were the crux of the article i had for a reading.

stop trying to avoid maths forever. unfortunately, it's impossible. one day i'll have to apologise to my year 9 and 10 maths teacher from catholic school (who i actually graduated uni with back in 2018 bc she went back to do something else in sociology i think) and beg her to teach me from year 4 onwards..... or maybe year 3 onwards. bc i dont even understand basic fractions around adding and subtracting lol.

people will whine 24/7 about anti-intellectualism on tiktok but then turn around and say "i don't need to know math i'm never going to use this in real life"

[tokito-dulya20]

here it is..

i hope this works

but i forgot to add this part bc i swore i added this part but it doesn't seem like it: Several kids would bully Ilona just because she looked “different” from them. Everyone thought her family was a nice family in general. No one hated her but only those kids that bullied her. But the bullying eventually stopped. When she was 9, her mom got a job as a maid to a family, her dad was a fisherman, her older brother was always with her dad, 2 her older sisters got married when they got older, and her oldest sister went to a nursing school. Her family couldn’t find a caretaker until they met Fumiko Yukimura. Fumiko was 20 years old when they hired her and even better, she loved kids.

[andreasartt]

I painted Ilona Maher!

I wanted to practice painting skin. Color is a bit of a challenge for me, especially when it comes to skin which has so many undertones and colors involved. And, since the Olympics were on (and the us women’s rugby team did such an amazing job) I thought it would be fun to practice with Ilona Maher as my reference! I did my best to add in pink and purplish undertones, however it didn’t quite come out like I wanted. Although the value contrast is there, I think the color still needs some work. (I used a flat brush for most of the painting and the round brush for the line work. For the type I used the monoline brush.)

That being said, I still am proud of how it came out (even if there’s improvement to be made!) I also just included “A hot new bombshell” because of her videos about Love Island and thought it would be fun to include 😅 I do really like how the type came out tho, I wanted it to have some movements and feel just as fun as her videos. Originally I had just stuck to one color but it felt flat in comparison to the actual drawing. So I added in highlights and shadows to give it some dimension while keeping it simple (and therefore keeping the attention on the person instead of the type).

[alwaysthegeorges]

desire in the dark - ilona maher x alan bersten (2/2)

Summary - the pair gets spicyyy

Warnings - smut (fingering, eating out, piv, multiple orgasms, praise), accidental (and purposeful) love confession, making out, consent, swearing.

Word Count - 1.6k

Song Inspo - secret love song, pt. II

a/n - minors dni! note that this is all fictionalized and does not accurately represent any of these real people. if they want me to take it down, i will. this is just for fun! enjoy, sinners <33

She was finally getting exactly what she wanted. There, with Alan’s hand tangled in her hair, pressing her against the door of his bedroom, she was finally fulfilling the ache in her chest that had been burning for months. Something about the way his lips moved on hers made her positively melt, so captured by the way his body rises and falls with hers.

“How’s this feel?” he whispered against her lips, using his hand on her lower back to pull her body flush against his.

“Amazing,” she panted, eager to have more of him. All her brain screamed for was more. More kisses, more touches, more of the man she had been so enraptured by. Thankfully, without her having to say another word, he seemed to listen to her silent pleas. His hands roamed, caressing her body like it was the most precious thing in the world as he led her towards his bed. 

“You're so fucking perfect," he whispered, a near-growl escaping from his throat as he moved to press fiery kisses against her collarbone. She shivered at the sensation, her breath hitching as his lips burned against her skin. Every kiss sent waves of electricity coursing through her skin, her body responding without thought, without hesitation. 

Alan moved down her body to sit comfortably between her thighs, holding onto her like she’d slip away if he let go. 

“Is this ok?” he asked, peeking up at her from in between her legs. All she could do was nod, words completely escaping her when she met his dark brown eyes. 

“Use your words, baby,” he prompted, his voice low and soothing. A softness remained in his gaze as he waited for her response, his fingertips tracing the inside of her knee absentmindedly.

“It’s more than okay,” she breathed out, eager to have his tongue where she had been imagining it for months. 

With her admission, he finally allowed himself to not hold back. His tongue flicked and teased, working her up, just for him to pause with a smirk and peck kisses on the insides of her thighs while she calmed back down. He did this a few times, licking and sucking exactly where she wanted him to, letting her teeter right along the edge and squirm harshly against the mattress before abruptly removing his touch. He left her breathless and frustrated, wanting nothing more but to grab his head and hold it down there, letting her reach her peak. After the third time he lifted himself from her core, she finally gasped out in exasperation.

“What’s wrong, love?” he asked teasingly, eyeing her through heavy eyelids as he continued marking her sensuous thighs.

“You know what’s wrong,” she said breathlessly, her words laced with desperation. She let her head fall back onto the pillows in defeat once again. If he wasn’t so goddamn sexy…

“Mm, I don’t think I do. Tell me what you want, love.”

“Please, baby,” she pleaded desperately, meeting his eyes once again. Her stomach dropped when she caught a glimpse of humiliating fire in his eye, promising something more sinister than she was expecting. Boy, was she in for a long night.

“You’re such a pretty mess for me,” was his reply, completely ignoring her plea and going back to nipping at her soft skin. 

Torturously slowly, he began running his fingers along her core, gathering her wetness. While locking eyes with her, he dipped each finger inside her, continuing his excruciating pace as she whined out for him.

“What do you want, Ilona?” he asked simply, pumping two fingers in and out of her easily using the slickness he left over from his previous activity. 

Squeezing her eyes shut, she knew exactly what he wanted to hear. Begrudgingly, she let the words slip from her lips, her voice barely a whisper, but thick with desire. “Please let me cum, baby.”

Without another word, Alan focused on pumping in and out of her faster, making sure to hit the spot that drove her wild every time. He leaned down and added his tongue back to the mix, and within mere seconds, he had her arching her back and grasping at the sheets with pleasure. 

He crawled back up to her face as she came down from her high, not being able to keep the smile off his face. Alan kissed her cheek and neck gently, allowing for her to return to Earth before speaking again.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he whispered in her ear, allowing his hands to roam her body once again.

Ilona pulled him into a fiery kiss, not wanting to break their connection quite yet. Her hands grasped the sides of his face, feeling the heat between them surge even more. She deepened the kiss, hungry for more. More of him. Every touch made her heart race, and she couldn't stop herself from pulling him closer, needing him to understand just how much she wanted him.

Alan shifted and aligned himself with her core before giving her one last yearning look.

“Are you sure about this?” he whispered, not wanting to break the moment. Ilona nodded, swallowing in anticipation. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure. I’ve never been more sure about something.”

Without breaking eye contact, Alan slowly pushed all the way in until he was fully bottomed out. His face flushed as he watched her eyes roll back, his body setting on fire at how she responded to him. His pace was brutally slow at first, making her insides stir with need. She pulled him close, dragging her nails along his back and shoulders as she involuntarily let out small whimpers into his ear. 

“God, you feel so fucking good,” he sobbed, feeling every inch of her body beneath him. His brain went into overdrive, barely being able to handle how fucking well she took him.

Something sparked in Alan, a rush of heat flooding through him at the sound of her breathless mewls. His grip tightened on her, pulling her even closer as the tension between them became palpable. He could feel her body responding to him, making him lose himself in the moment, his mind clouded with nothing but desire for her. His pace quickened, causing her grasps at his body to become more and more desperate. Watching her body tense and her head bury into the pillows beneath her sent him into a spiral. If this was attraction, he had certainly never felt it for anyone else before. Watching the way her eyes squeezed shut and her back arched, he could tell she was close. Alan dropped a hand to trace where they met, and was met with a very sexy and very strained groan. 

 “Do that again- Shit, just like that, right there,” Ilona whined, her body setting ablaze as he worked some sort of magic on her.

“You’re being so good for me,” he gasped in her ear, trying his best not to teeter off the edge right there and then by listening to her raspy pleas and shaky breaths. “God, fuckin love you. Love your body.”

A wave of tension broke inside her at his confession, not being able to handle the building pressure coming from her lower abdomen.

“I don’t— I don’t think I can last any longer, fuck, please—” she sobbed out, grasping desperately at his back.

“Cum with me,” he begged, giving her one more passionate kiss as both of their releases crashed down on them in a wave of ecstasy. All at once, it felt like their bodies became one in their throws of blazed euphoria.

As they calmed, he pulled her close. Though they were around the same size, he somehow made her feel so dainty and small. They laid there together in the quiet, the world outside slipping away as they shared this beautiful moment of intimacy. His warmth enveloped her, his steadying heartbeat calming her racing thoughts. It felt like time had slowed, and all that mattered was the feeling of being held, safe, and cherished in his arms.

“I love you, Alan,” she admitted, feeling the pressure of those words lift off her chest almost immediately. The relief of it all finally being out in the open flooded her, and for the first time in what felt like forever, her heart felt light. She waited, breathlessly, for his response, her chest tight with hope and fear, unsure of what to expect but knowing she couldn't take back what she had just said. The logic part of her brain wanted to scream at her, telling her he only said it because of the heat of the moment. Her heart, however, silenced it, letting Alan himself decide how he wanted to respond.

“I love you so much it hurts, Ilona.”

Her breath caught in her throat, the weight of his words sinking into her chest like a promise she had been waiting for her entire life. She met his gaze, her heart racing as he cupped her face gently, his thumb brushing over her cheek tenderly. The vulnerability in his eyes mirrored her own, and for a fleeting moment, she could see what the rest of her life looked like.

The tension between them melted away, replaced by an overwhelming sense of understanding, of two people finally finding what they had been searching for their whole lives. Alan leaned in, his lips finding hers with the same intensity that had always been there, only now, it was laced with certainty. There were no doubts, no hesitations, just the raw, undeniable connection between them.

As they kissed, everything that had been left unsaid seemed to fall into place, a silent promise that this was just the beginning of something beautiful. In that moment, with her heart in his hands, Ilona knew that the love they shared wasn’t a fleeting feeling. It was real, and it was all theirs.

---

masterlist

[trofysisters]

Тося

Илья совсем отчаялся найти работу в кулинарной сфере и даже решил устроиться в спорт, когда в местном ресторане появилась вакансия посудомойщика. Наконец-то они заживут по-настоящему, ни в чем себе не отказывая на его зарплату в 30 симолеонов в день. (Ilya was completely desperate to find a job in the culinary field and even decided to get into sports when a vacancy for a dishwasher appeared at a local restaurant. Finally, they will truly live, without denying themselves anything on his salary of 30 simoleons a day)

Его недавно вернувшаяся из университета дочь на должности помощника командира имела оклад в 14 раз выше и не желала останавливаться на достигнутом, постигая новые навыки. (His daughter, who had recently returned from university, had a salary 14 times higher as an assistant commander and did not want to stop there, mastering new skills)

Но мысли ее были заняты не только работой, но и женихом - Виктором, которого ей приходилось самой приглашать на свидания, а то он со своей учебой сам об этом не додумается. (But her thoughts were occupied not only with work, but also with her fiancé, Victor, whom she had to invite on dates herself, otherwise, with his studies, he wouldn’t think of it himself)

Илона уже готова была выйти замуж за него, а также за Давида и еще за одного студента, с которым она скрашивала учебные дни, пока Давид был несовершеннолетним. К сожалению Илоны, многомужество было вне закона. (Ilona was already ready to marry him, as well as David and another student with whom she brightened up her school days while David was a minor. Unfortunately for Ilona, polyandry was illegal)

Во время обеда в кафе Илона всё же остановила свой выбор на Викторе, который разжигал в ее сердце страсть. Вот только сам парень думал о чем угодно, но не о романтике. (During lunch in a cafe, Ilona still chose Victor, who kindled passion in her heart. But the guy himself was thinking about anything, but not about romance)

Ну и ладно. Зато они отлично смотрятся на совместных фотографиях. (Well, okay. But they look great in photos together)

Вечером Илья вернулся с работы воодушевленным. Он сразу начал мечтать, как купит новый холодильник, барную стойку и гриль. Ну и что, что они стоят от 1000 симолеонов и выше. Теперь-то он может себе их позволить, ведь у них на счету целых 3000 симолеонов! (In the evening, Ilya returned from work inspired. He immediately began to dream of buying a new refrigerator, bar counter and grill. So what if they cost 1000 Simoleons and more. Now he can afford them, because they have as many as 3,000 Simoleons in their account!)

Грезы отца были прерваны Илоной, которая подхватила его под руку и усадила за стол. Она желала поразить жениха семейным ужином, заодно чтобы привыкал к будущим тестю и теще. Илья сразу начал распрашивать Виктора, кем тот работает, а то бездельники в этом доме не нужны. (Her father's dreams were interrupted by Ilona, who grabbed him by the arm and sat him down at the table. She wanted to impress the groom with a family dinner, at the same time let him get used to his future father-in-law and mother-in-law. Ilya immediately began asking Victor what kind of work he did, otherwise there was no need for slackers in this house)

Именно во время ужина, когда Илона расписывала планы на их совместную жизнь, до Виктора дошло, что во что он вляпался, но бежать было уже поздно. (It was during dinner, when Ilona was describing plans for their life together, that it dawned on Victor what he had gotten himself into, but it was too late to escape)

На следующий день Илья оплачивал квартплату, радуясь, что еще остаются деньги на покупку того, о чем он мечтает. (The next day, Ilya paid the rent, glad that there was still money left to buy what he dreamed of)

Но перед почтовым ящиком появился почтальон с квитанциями на оплату коммунальных услуг. Прощайте, мечты. (But a postman appeared in front of the mailbox with receipts for utility bills. Goodbye dreams)

Хорошо, что умница-дочка получила повышение по службе: ее назначили космонавтом. (It’s good that my smart daughter received a promotion: she was appointed as an astronaut)

Центр управления полетами не стал откладывать ее первый полет, ведь им нужно было обогнать в космической гонке другие страны. (Mission Control did not delay her first flight, because they needed to overtake other countries in the space race)

Илона сказала: "Поехали!", и махнула рукой. (Ilona said: “Let’s go!” and waved her hand)

В это время на Симле Виктор решил принести невесте подарок - пульт Ди-джея, а может хотел откупиться. (At this time, in Simla, Victor decided to bring the bride a gift - a DJ remote control, or maybe he wanted to pay off)