#ill prolly do it in the afterlife too

[minkkumaz]

everyone read jordans new insert for her tswift + 8turn series!! she's been working rlly hard on it for awhile so don't be shy and blaze it for the small price of $10!! (^_^)

sweet nothing

synopsis — never in a million years would you imagine letting kyungmin go, even if you needed nothing more than to do just that.

pairing — cho kyungmin x gn!reader

genre — angst, fluff(?)

warnings — established relationship, mentions of food/eating

word count — 1.8k

notes — this fic is inspired by sweet nothing by taylor swift ! writing this fic made me so sad, i hope u guys like this twisted meaning of sweet nothing !

THE ERAS SERIES

the early-morning sun beamed through your kitchen window, casting a warm glow on everything in its path. a messy pattern of light and dark covered the room, shifting ever so slightly as the sun rose. specks of dust played a game of hide and seek as they peeked in and out of the shadows, dancing through the illumination.

the pad of your finger languidly circled the rim of your mug, the light circling with it. the coffee inside it was untouched, filled up nearly to the brim as it’d been when you first poured it. as it sat, the steam rising onto your skin gradually thinned, but it condensed on your hand all the same.

the droplets puddling on your palm dripped back down into the coffee, letting the cycle repeat. again, the steam rose, then condensed, then fell; until one small droplet went astray, slipping down the side of the mug.

your eyes followed the falling bead, watching as it ran its path. it lost its size as it went, water being left in its tracks. it trailed down until it inevitably couldn’t anymore, losing its fuel. it stopped on top of a tiny print of a daisy; one of the many patterned on the mug.

kyungmin had gifted the mug to you long ago, claiming the flowers reminded him of you. you couldn’t remember when it was, nor could you remember what it was for. if it’d been for an anniversary, a holiday, or a surprise gift was a mystery to you, but you appreciated the sentiment regardless.

you always valued his thoughtfulness, but you could feel the nook it occupied in your heart grow smaller and smaller over time. now, you could only recognize it as kyungmin just being kyungmin, but you still cherished him all the same, and that was enough.

“good morning,” kyungmin’s voice suddenly filled your ears, snapping you out of your zoned-out daze.

when you looked up, he was stood at your side, a drowsy smile on his face. he was positioned in front of the sun, and the light framed his figure perfectly. it provided a visual of the invisible glow he always radiated, even at his lowest.

“morning,” you greeted, the corners of your mouth curving up slightly. you dropped your hand off the mug and onto the table, and kyungmin shifted his gaze to look.

“are you alright, y/n?” kyungmin’s expression changed, eyebrows furrowing and lips lightly pressing together. “you haven’t touched your coffee.”

to no surprise, he didn’t fail to pick up on anything off with your behavior. how easy it was for him to see right through you was admirable, but sometimes, it felt suffocating.

“yeah, i’m fine,” you emptily assured. you weren’t sure of how you really felt anymore; your days began to blur, and they felt all too fast and all too slow at the same time. “just sleepy.”

“well, the coffee should fix that,” kyungmin teased, his smile growing again. he always looked at you like you were bigger than the whole sky, and you hoped you still looked at him the same way. “i’ll make you something to eat with that, okay?”

your tired eyes wandered off of kyungmin, spotting something far behind him. on the counter was a small, potted plant, and next to it was a pebble; tiny as a firefly. almost forgotten, you vaguely remembered it as a souvenir kyungmin picked up on your last trip together; you wondered if it ever missed its home sometimes.

“y/n?” kyungmin called out, causing your gaze to fix on him again. “did you hear me?”

naturally, you shook your head. “sorry, kyung. what’d you say?”

“i’ll make you something to eat with your coffee,” kyungmin repeated, his voice as kind as ever. his patience rarely ran thin with you, and you never knew how. “okay?”

you nodded your head, taking in a deep, unsteady breath. “thank you.”

as kyungmin looked at you, he almost looked hurt. his wide smile turned into a slight frown, and his eyes held more sorrow than drowsiness. you knew he was just worried, but something in you felt guilty.

“are you sure you’re alright?” kyungmin questioned again, gently placing his hand on your shoulder. his thumb rubbed the surface of your shirt, and you released a held breath at the feeling. “you know you can talk to me.”

“i’m sure,” you weakly reassured, putting on a smile. you covered his hand with yours, rubbing your thumb over his skin in the same way he did.

“okay,” kyungmin spoke softly, letting a smile play on his lips again. he leaned down to your level, placing a kiss on your temple.

you almost couldn’t feel anything when his lips touched your skin. all that there was was the feeling of a slight graze, and the pebble-sized flutter that fizzed inside of your stomach. your fingers had just barely curled up, and your shoulders had just barely slumped over.

“i’ll make you something now,” kyungmin repeated, the happiness in his voice restoring. your hand idly slipped off of his as he lifted it off of your shoulder, turning away from you to wander to the fridge.

when he opened the door, he slightly leaned back to give himself space. you felt yourself sink further into your seat, letting yourself smile faintly as you watched him look through each shelf and compartment.

he was still as fresh as a daisy, but you knew that his love had withered. his love no longer meant to you what it’d meant before, and every display of it drained every butterfly in your stomach one by one. you knew that his adoration for you grew stronger every day, but you could only feel your fondness of it shrink.

a little part inside of you said that the end of your life with kyungmin was coming, but you could never see yourself believing that. you knew that you’d always find yourself running home to his sweet nothings, even if they did nothing for you anymore. you’d take all of the internal pushing and shoving just for him.

you listened to his quiet humming mix with the sounds of the kitchen. the closing of cabinets, the clanking of plates, and the shuffling of his feet all came together to frame his voice, creating a messy melody. all of it sounded horribly wrong, but kyungmin made it right; he always did.

you didn’t know when or why you went wrong. one day, a switch just flipped, and everything flipped with it. the only thing that stayed the same was what kyungmin himself was to you; he was still your light at the end of the tunnel, even if he himself was the tunnel.

“voila! i made pancakes,” kyungmin excitedly walked over to you, plates in his hands. he gently set a plate in front of you, and the scent immediately overtook your senses.

“they smell good,” you stated, pulling your mug and plate closer as you watched kyungmin sit down across from you.

once he sat, he tilted his head at you with his dimples on full display. he was radiant; nearly more blinding than the risen sun. it only beamed on a small portion of his body, but he still gave himself his own glow. even at your worst, there wasn’t nearly enough of your own darkness to shield you from him.

his expression gradually fell, but everything he held in his eyes was worth more than the warmth of a thousand suns. he had more than enough love inside of him for the both of you combined, yet you didn’t have nearly enough.

“i love you,” kyungmin professed, his voice overflowing with the emotion. there was never a time where it felt like he didn’t mean it.

you hesitated before speaking, blinking away from kyungmin. “i love you, too.”

you didn’t mean it in the same way you should’ve. it sounded frighteningly empty, and you knew that there was a lost piece of your love that you’d never get back. it’d ran its course, and slowly depleted as it went; inevitably becoming a puddle of nothing.

“this tastes really good,” kyungmin mumbled.

you knew that you should be doing more. you knew that he deserved galaxies more than the truth that you hid from him, but you couldn’t let him go; you were selfish. never in a million years could you ever imagine letting him go, even if both you and him needed nothing more than just that.

“are you gonna eat?” kyungmin questioned.

only to him could you admit that you were too soft for everything that you were feeling, but you couldn’t. breaking both his heart and your own was something you couldn’t handle, and just the thought of losing him crushed you. the weight of it all was too heavy, and it was much too big; bigger than the whole sky.

“y/n?” kyungmin called.

you flinched, immediately bringing your attention back to him. “god, i’m sorry, kyungmin.”

he could only give you a sympathetic smile, picking up another piece of the pancake with his fork. “it’s really good, so you should try it. maybe you can dip it in your coffee.”

your ears barely picked up kyungmin’s giggle as you lowered your gaze down to your drink, sitting as still as it was. every unconsumed drop of caffeine was right where you’d left it, lowering in temperature as the minutes passed. there wasn’t any steam rising out of the liquid anymore, and when you went to feel the mug, all of its heat was lost.

you shifted your eyes back up to kyungmin, and you found that all of the warmth was held by him instead. even with all of the waves of heat he radiated, they didn’t quite reach you. you still felt cold; as cold as your coffee.

you would never be the same again, and you knew that. you’d never love kyungmin as purely as you did before, and you’d never forget that. it’d always be engraved in the back of your mind; taunting you with your buried thoughts. all that he ever wanted from you was sweet nothing, but you your truth was far from it.

even at his purest, you still couldn’t feel for him in the way he felt for you. masked behind the love in his eyes was nothing; everything he felt for you was wholly surfaced. there wasn’t anything he had to hide, and his angelic smile was there to prove it. he could never be anything short of sweet, yet still, all you could give him was nothing.

THE ERAS SERIES

© woonhakist 2023

[suzu-kun22]

Not Quite Invincible

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30488721

Prompt: Hallucinations Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen Pairings: Nanago, Satosugu Warnings: Illness, mentions of past canonical character death Summary: Nanami returns home to find a sick and delusional Gojou, talking to his long-gone best friend.

@badthingshappenbingo​

If there are any specific prompts you’d like me to write and any specific scenarios/fandoms/pairings you’d like me to write for, just send in an ask!

Story below the cut!

To most, Gojou Satoru seems invincible.

To most that encounter him, he seems as though nothing bothers him. He doesn’t seem to know how to take a hit, what with an ability that stops just about everything from making contact and a tendency to reach speeds incomprehensible to most human eyes. To most, he is flawless. A beacon of hope. The pillar that holds up the feeble roof of Jujutsu Sorcery. Were it not for Gojou Satoru, would the institution even still be standing? It’s a question that has been posed many times, and yet it’s never one that Nanami Kento has seen answered in a way he finds satisfactory. 

Still, for all of his power, for all of his strength, and for as many opponents that have fallen to Gojou Satoru, there are still things that even one such as he is weak to. There are still things that can leave him as vulnerable as the child that he pretends to be. There are still things that steal that confidence from his voice and leave him doing just about everything that he possibly can to cover up the shaking that’s left in its wake.

Apparently, Nanami Kento is one of few privileged enough to see it.

“What are you doing in my house?” Nanami asks with eyes narrowed and arms crossed over his chest. He had walked through the door to find a pair of shoes that were most certainly not his and a pitch black coat hanging on one of his hooks. Nanami owned nothing black. He had discovered, while working in a boring office where the only goal was money, money, and more money, that black made him look far too uptight, and made him feel the same way. If he was going to be saving people, he would be better served wearing a less depressing color. 

There’s only one person who Nanami knows well enough to suspect them of being in his house, who also wears a black coat and... whatever the hell those shoes even are. How frustratingly annoying, that it’s also the man known for his ability to inflict just about anyone he speaks to with a migraine that just might last days, depending on his mood. If Gojou Satoru is feeling particularly annoying today, then Nanami will have to make sure to stock up on painkillers. If he’s feeling just mildly frustrating, then perhaps Nanami will manage to kick him out the door with minimal incident.

“Hmmmmm…?” There’s a long hum coming from the lump on Nanami’s couch. Wrapped up in blankets, Nanami can barely make out a head of ethereally white hair resting against one of his throw pillows. “…oh, you’re home?” The voice is familiar, but also not. It’s obviously the voice of Gojou Satoru. There’s no way that Nanami would ever be able to mistake that voice for anyone else. And yet, there’s something off about it. Something shaky, quiet, weak, vulnerable, and maybe just a bit broken. 

“Yes. What are you doing in my house?” Nanami repeats his question, and there’s a long minute with no answer. Then the pile of blankets shifts, groans, and settles once again. This is going to take a while, it seems. “Are you going to answer me, or are we going to stand here all night?”

“…head hurts.” The pile mumbles. “Stop talking so loud–“ A hand pokes itself out from the mountain and waves at Nanami, as though asking him to quiet down. “–Shouko said… uhhh… somethin’ about sleeping until it goes away,” Gojou’s voice says with an edge to it that Nanami doesn’t recognize and most certainly doesn’t like. He furrows his brow, reaches down, and shakes the pile until it lets out another loud groaning sound and rolls over. Finally, there’s Gojou Satoru’s face. His signature blindfold is nowhere to be seen. His hair is even more disheveled than normal. His eyes are squeezed firmly shut and Nanami can make out beads of sweat on his brow. His skin is flushed, and Nanami would be willing to bet that those scarily blue eyes hidden behind lids are glassy. 

“You’re sick.” Nanami states, and Gojou seems to flinch at the statement. “Why did you not go home?” Nanami asks with a raised eyebrow. Gojou lets out yet another groan and rolls over, tucking his face into the back of the sofa and hiding himself from view once again. Honestly, what a child. He can’t even be bothered to look Nanami in the eyes when they’re speaking. “Gojou–“

“Satoru.” Gojou interrupts. “When’d… When did you stop callin’ me that..?” 

Nanami blinks. He stares, for a moment, unsure of what to do. As far as he remembers, he’s never used Gojou’s given name. Certainly never to his face. He reaches a hand forward, trying to rest it on Gojou’s forehead to feel for a temperature. The moment his fingers brush against the man’s hair, however, Gojou almost seems to jump away. Nanami pulls his hand back. Stares, for a moment, before reaching forward again and this time managing to rest his fingers against Gojou’s forehead. He doesn’t pull back, despite the intensity of the burning that he finds there. 

“Mmmmm…” Gojou hums. “…your hand’s cold, Suguru.” He whispers, and it gives Nanami pause. Of course it does. What else is he meant to do, in response to that? 

“Gojou, I’m not Getou.” Nanami says, because he can’t think of anything else to say. Gojou has a fever – which was obvious even before Nanami rested a hand on his forehead – which seems to be high enough to be giving him delusions. Nanami wonders, briefly, how the older of the two of them could be irresponsible enough to let himself get so sick. Then he remembers that the older of the two of them is Gojou Satoru, infamous for his strength and his complete and total lack of responsibility. “Why did you come here?”

“Missed you,” Gojou mumbles. “Ahhhh, prolly shouldn’t have said that. You’ll never let me live it down,” Gojou laughs. It’s humorless. Nanami hates the sound of it. “…Shouko said somethin’ about staying in bed… but bed is super boring when you’re alone,” He grumbles, turning his head as though going to look up, but his eyes stay firmly closed. Nanami wonders, absently, if the six eyes serve to worsen his headache or improve it. “…been a while since we could hang out, Suguru. How’s the afterlife treating you?” Gojou’s lips quirk up, into a smirk. Nanami could spot how fake it is from a mile away. “Having fun in hell?”

“Gojou.”

“Awww, c’mon!” There’s a shakiness to the happy tone that Nanami is certain most would miss. Most, however, haven’t known Gojou Satoru quite as long as Nanami Kento has. Most would assume that he’s playing some sick game with himself that no one else is allowed to get in on. Nanami knows better. “…j-just cause I killed you… d-doesn’t mean that we can’t still…” Gojou breathes a heavy exhale. As though something is pressing on his chest and Gojou can’t quite shake it. Nanami sighs. No matter what he says, it doesn’t seem to be working. For now, he might as well try and do something about the fever. 

Gojou continues mumbling. Nanami crosses the living room and makes for the nearest bathroom. Once inside, he collects a rag and a basin, quickly filling it with cool water and allowing the rag to soak in it for a moment. With a sigh, Nanami lifts the basin and makes his way back to the sofa. Gojou has shifted slightly. His eyes are still closed, but he’s lying on his back now. One arm is slung over the back of the couch, and the other is resting on the floor. Normally, Nanami would comment on what a messy pose it is. Now is not normally. 

“Stay still,” Nanami commands, setting the basin down beside the sofa. Gojou mumbles something that Nanami can’t quite make out – aside from the use of the name Suguru once again – but otherwise complies. What a strange sight, a Gojou Satoru who actually follows orders. 

Nanami lays the damp folded cloth over Gojou’s forehead. It causes the white-haired sorcerer’s brow to furrow and his lips to twist into something of a grimace, but he doesn’t complain. The thought briefly crosses Nanami’s mind to take a picture. He can think of countless people who would appreciate a picture of the world’s strongest Jujutsu sorcerer in such a state. But the thought fades as quickly as it came. No matter how satisfying it might be to see someone as strong and insufferably annoying as Gojou humbled like this, that’s no excuse to take advantage of his pain for something so petty. 

“…’m sorry, Surugu,” Gojou mumbles. His hands clench into fists and then unclench once again. “…’m sorry… d-didn’t wanna kill you.” There’s another moment of silence. Gojou’s breathing is labored and maybe a bit pained. Nanami wonders, for a moment, how Ieiri could even allow him to head anywhere on his own, if he was this sick. The thought is quickly replaced, however, with– 

“…miss you,” Gojou whispers.

Nanami feels something ache in his chest. 

He buries it. Like always.

“Go to sleep, Gojou. You’re sick.” Nanami gives another command. The last one worked well enough. Perhaps all it takes to get Gojou Satoru to actually listen for once is to give him a high fever and a bit of delusion. It just might be useful information, somewhere down the line. 

“Mmmm… fine,” Gojou mumbles. His eyes stay closed, but the expression on his face relaxes a bit. “…see ya later… Suguru.” It’s the last thing he says, before his breathing begins to even out and his muscles lose a good amount of their tension. Nanami breathes a sigh of relief. He can only hope that the fever will break before Gojou wakes up again.

Gojou Satoru seems invincible, but Nanami Kento knows that he’s far from it. 

As satisfying as it is to see the mighty Gojou Satoru humbled, Nanami can’t say that he wants to see any more of it.

[ripellisdee]

Wrong way

if life was a street that sign at the peek said wrong way

ain’t no ground beneath atleast not one I can see

the edge kinda steep if I trip and fall 100 feet might pass a bird a tweet

right before I crack my head on the pavement

wake up like it’s all just a dream

still hanging in there with help from the rope under my chin

and if I kick the chair don’t think there’s any last words I can spare

just a gasp from lack of air

not trying to be cinematic or dramatic

usually keep it short and sweet

I don’t think in death that’d change anything

be how that saying goes well I guess that’s all she wrote

except there was no long note

just a sticky note in place on my chest where my heart used to be

no words that were shown just a drawing of a heart that’s incomplete

still a wasted sheet you could’ve used to roll some weed

too blow smoke over me

while I’m hanging out in basement

I’m not complacent but what happens after don’t faze me

afterlife prolly full of other engagements

only playin all I’m trying to say is some shit make me loose patients

and faith

cause this place can feel so Jaded

like do people really need more free entertainment

but don’t judge the story

I know It gets old and slightly boring

it’s just me trying and struggling to succeed

disagree if you disagree

Debris is all that’s underneath 

but when concrete cover me

I can never sleep

unsettling I hope this isn’t fate

this shit needs to get of my chest to even out the weight but

I’m just a human

I’m assuming

I’m sorry if I’m confusing

hoping it's amusing

watching me abusing

all the drugs I’m consuming

losing bucks on gas while I’m cruising

wondering why my brains not computing

commuting to some kind solution

but I can’t move Choking on pollution

that these streets are producing

introducing a man who shouldn’t be reproducing

but I do what I can for a seed I’m recruiting

boosting then Saluting off into a world so far away from soothing 

again maybe history repeats itself

even through generations

there’s no demonstrations on how to find yourself

just some shared observations

from there Experience

a sequence that stays the same

all I can say is you can’t get aid from a relationship thats transactional

or Irrational

 cause some will never change

but I hope for a seed thats not the case

I hope it grows into a better place

then the one that I have faced

and that’s just fact

but some people can be so impractical

don’t have Common cents too many thoughts in the brain

can leave there chatter sounding like someone shaking change

let it all come outta pocket and leave you to pick up what remains

this life ain’t a game that give you updates

and if it did it would say

no new alterations to scenery and conversations

also images might be blurry and outta place

ideally that would be okay

we’ll always be a population in a nation

with bad shit that happens everyday

like a constant state of camera shake

but what you do if it stays the same

I can take my part of the blame I never claimed to be a saint

I’m someone who commonly makes mistakes

but if shit keeps going the same way

ima stray away and say

fuck an obligation to society

no privacy so I’ll build a small dynasty out of rubble

far away

anything better then this shit so I’d rather stay away

be off the grid in my own bubble that I create

maybe hidden in a jungle

wiping my ass with leaves 

starving my ass dragging my feet

would still be less trouble

then living in a world where we feed on each other’s needs

only if I could make that possible but with my luck id probably get mauled by a bear before I even reached a jungle

so I’ll just keep it on track

try to stay humble

find that connection with my reflection

gripped selection

of things Ill never mention

embrace my imperfections

host to my own infection

with a need to heal

that far exceeds my depression

cause it’s hard to fight

for a world that’s dying

so full of lies

why bother trying

I’ll just close my eyes

let the cover of night guide me

to a place where I

can hold my son laughing

and just feel

home

[allofthisnonsenseplease]

Another discord plotting session with firesonic152 (shorter than that last one ^^).

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/29/2017 So, I read a short story today at work where people could meet and speak with their death. Or, I guess it was more an agent of death subdivided by type? The protag was friends with his death, they would sit and chat and were two completely different beings. But there were different types of deaths--death by wasting illness, death by winter, death by lightning, death in chains, etc. But it seemed like a cool idea for an r76 oneshot. (altho i kinda feel like it's prolly already been done? ^^;)

firesonic152 - 03/29/2017 ooooo that's such a cool idea!! i don't think i've seen anything quite like that :ooo lmao i can't believe jack fucked death nice bro

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/29/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 03/29/2017 jack: so death huh reaper: yep jack: ...... sexy reaper: what jack: what

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/29/2017 X''D omg Jack And he's not even, like, trying to bargain his way out of it. death!Gabe has gotten that before. it's no longer surprising. Jack is surprising. and slightly disturbing. but also kinda hot. in a doomed asshole sort of way.

firesonic152 - 03/29/2017 LMAO reaper: death comes jack: dude i haven't even gotten my pants off yet reaper: reaper: you're not even gonna like. argue? jack: what?? no man it's about time you showed up

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/29/2017 Jack you sad fuck. What sort of death would you pick for him in this AU? (and if it's the same as mine, I'm gonna laugh, tho I couldn't tell you why I put the idea together the way I did lol)

firesonic152 - 03/29/2017 crushed by thighs

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/29/2017 XD Not the same, but still laughing

firesonic152 - 03/29/2017 XDDDD what was your idea?

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/29/2017 Drank himself to death one way or another. Alcohol poisoning or just stumbled out of the bar and into an accident. Gabe appears to him as a stranger at the bar where he drinks, and that's where they talk. Jack figures out what he is relatively quickly, but doesn't let on immediately. he also doesn't much care that meeting his death means that his time is running out.

firesonic152 - 03/29/2017 QoQ oh my god that's so sad

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/29/2017 shrug emoji it's prolly 'cause I read dizzy on the come down the other day, although in this one, i'm thinking Jack is less a drink and fuck to forget drunk and sort of a quiet, deeply depressed drunk

firesonic152 - 03/29/2017 oh yeah that fic makes me so sad QoQ ahhhhhh qoq jack invites reaper back to his place and reaper makes some kind of half-teasing half-deadly serious quip about how he's not the sort people want to bring home. but jack just says "i know" and his smile is shallow

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/29/2017 ;_; oh god now i'm gonna cry

it slowly dawns on Gabe, and he's just '...you know what I am, don't you?' and he can't quite believe it. 'How long have you known?'

Jack shrugs. 'A while now. Tonight gonna be my time?' When Gabriel responds with a minute shake of his head, Jack gets to his feet, unsteady in the way he gets when he's had too many which is still never quite enough so far as he's concerned. 'Want to see me safely home, then?'

He almost smiles, but there is so little hope in his life that the expression is almost heartbreaking. Gabriel has seen similar expressions so many times that he should be inured to it, but seeing that look on Jack hurts for some reason. He tosses back the last of his drink, leaves money on the bar, and follows Jack out into the bitter cold.

firesonic152 - 03/29/2017 QOQ i'm so,,,,,,, sad,,,,,,,,,

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/29/2017 whoopsie daisy ^^;;;;;

firesonic152 - 03/29/2017 when they get to jack's place, jack invites him in again so casually that gabriel doesn't know what to make of it. usually people either do everything in their power to get rid of him or beg him for a quick end. jack, meanwhile, seems unbothered by the prospect of death entirely.

gabriel is a professional. he doesn't get attached to anyone.

he accepts the invitation anyway

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/29/2017 oh, careful, Gabe. Curiosity killed the cat, and you're not gonna be happy when you get attached and jack dies in front of you

firesonic152 - 03/29/2017 but satisfaction brought it back >||))))

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/29/2017 NOT THAT KIND OF SATISFACTION JACK

firesonic152 - 03/29/2017 LMAO

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/29/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 03/29/2017 i'm just saying...... gabe probably was like okay i know you're dead now and i'm supposed to like make sure you go to the afterlife or whatever but idc i'm smuggling you w me and we're going to keep having fantastic sex

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/29/2017 Listen, Jack, the Powers-That-Be have an opening over in Death-by-Hey-Look-What-I-Can-Do. Let me get you an interview for the job.

firesonic152 - 03/29/2017 LMAO jack is like i thought dying was being laid to rest and all that now you're saying i gotta keep working forever??? >||T gabe is like LISTEN U UNGRATEFUL SHIT

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/29/2017 XD Well, I mean, somehow I don't think dying is gonna fix what's wrong with Jack in this one. He's gotta live just long enough for Gabe to be able to make him wonder if oblivion really is worth it.

firesonic152 - 03/29/2017 gabe: if u wanna keep having sex w me you gotta do this jack: you were good man but idk if you were THAT good gabe: ,,,,,, i can spawn tentacles jack: where do i sign you: writes really meaningful and heartbreaking things me: jazz hands

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/29/2017 X''''''''''D i like yours better, tbh XD

[a-panda-reads-act-omega]

ACT OMEGA PART 24

THE 04/02/17 UPDATE

Hey look at that, I’m bored and I can’t urge myself to close that act omega tab. You know what that means. I’m doing another part today, w o o o o o 

Alrighty, last time. Aranea showed up, and I reacted in a perfectly calm and orderly fashion. Let’s see where this goes!

Yup. Nobody’s happy. Put that grin away Aranea.

MEENAH: serket?? MEENAH: HOLD the GLUB up MEENAH: i thought you like MEENAH: got owned or w/e

She did indeed get owned or w/e. By you, in fact. You from another universe in which you became a giant hot troll wearing a goddamn skintight outfit.

Oh yeah, and she is currently destroying the hell out of the kiddo’s back at the lily pad.

ARANEA: ... Nice to see you too, Meenah.

Pssst.. it’s not nice to see you aranea...

ARANEA: Just as anxious to get to the point as ever. 8ut as per usual, I encourage you to exercise a 8it more p8tience. ARANEA: All your questions and concerns will be addressed eventually, I assure you. MEENAH: UUUGH MEENAH: i cannot B-ELI-EV-E this MEENAH: you go all crazy and try n pull off some ridiculous timeline divine intervention stunt MEENAH: prolly kelped actin like a hotshot all the way up to getting fuckin WAST-ED MEENAH: im out here thinkin i aint never gonna sea you again cause you got it in your head you had ta be the ultimate magnanimous blowhard just like your STUPID ALT S)(-ELLF MEENAH: AND T)(-EN MEENAH: you reappier outta NOW)(-ER-E MEENAH: lookin just as smug as you got no business bein MEENAH: and you tell me i gotta put up with whatever sanctimonious salmon youve prepared before i get any answers?!

LET ‘ER HAVE IT MEENAH. Can Aranea get the idea out of her head that SHE has got to be the one everybody looks up to? Because everytime she’s had an effect on this story, it’s made everything completely horrible. Honestly, she just tries too hard to be worthy of admiration. If she were like Vriska, she’d care more about doing what needs to be done instead of being admired by all. Merely because Vriska isn’t so dependent on the approval of others, and is happy with doing what needs to be done just so she can brag to herself and others. Alright, I kinda feel like getting deeper into this. How Vriska and Aranea differ and parallel eachother, because it’s a pretty thin line that doesn’t feel obvious. But here’s a very simple way of putting it:

Vriska wants to be the hero Aranea wants to be seen as the hero

Vriska wants to force dead weight to carry itself Aranea wants useful people to depend on her

I feel like that sums it up fairly well, really. Maybe I’ll start making sideposts of character analysis if I feel like getting deeper into these topics.

ARANEA: Sanctimonious what? MEENAH: OH MY COD I M-EANT S-ERMON

GET MAD MEENAH. IMPALE HER WITH YOUR POKEY FORK.

And here we find Porrim, in her natural state of “tired of everybodys shit”

PORRIM: Meenah. Yo+u might want to+ reel yo+urself in for a mo+ment.

S)(-ELL NO

MEENAH: >38( PORRIM: Maybe try to+ avo+id making the same mistakes as the yo+unger Serket.

DONT BRING VRISKA INTO THIS 

VRISKA: Excuse me???????? PORRIM: O+h, hush. Yo+u’ve spent far mo+re energy externalizing yo+ur frustratio+n than you+ have do+ing anything pro+ductive. PORRIM: We can o+nly take so+ much o+f this. We're here to+ try and do+ so+mething with o+ur afterlife o+ther than willfully subject o+urselves to+ its infinite echo+ chamber o+f teenage drama.

Porrim

porrim, baby

i love you, i do

but this is n o T JUST TEENAGE DRAMA? I mean, Aranea killed EVERYBODY.

PORRIM: I myself have had eno+ugh o+f that fo+r at least two+ lifetimes. PORRIM: So+ if either o+f yo+u are ultimately o+nly go+ing to co+ntribute to+ the endless caco+phany, rather than fo+cus o+n getting results, I suggest yo+u mo+ve it to+ so+me o+ther bubble. PORRIM: If no+t, then co+nsider jo+ining the rest o+f us in seeing what Aranea might have to+ o+ffer to+ o+ur cause. ARANEA: Why, thank you, Porrim. That was very eloquently put. I promise you won’t 8e disappointed. ::::)

Goddammit Porrim, you gave her a reason to be smug. Just because Porrim is tired of the arguing, doesn’t mean you’re somehow at all justified in anything you’ve ever done ever.

ok im salty

PORRIM: Hmmm. We’ll see. ARANEA: Really, I was well prepared for my reappearance to cause something of a stir. It’s completely understanda8le to want an explan8tion.

UUUUUGHHhfadjnkms SHuuut uppp

ARANEA: I’ve 8een lying low for quite a while now. Gathering inform8tion, drawing conclusions, revising and perfecting plans... All of which will certainly prove invalua8le for you all in your current predicament! ARANEA: It really is a shame you’ve landed yourselves in such a 8ind! It was ultim8ly inevita8le, 8ut unfortun8 all the same. ARANEA: Isn’t it lucky, then, that I’m here to put this tr8n 8ack on its tracks?

Im gonna die from salt poisoning help

PORRIM: SIGH...

SIGH...

PORRIM: If yo+u have any interest in keeping that pro+mise o+f yo+urs, I suggest yo+u skip the preamble.

Thank you Porrim. I’m trying to find somebody to latch onto here, but everybody is starting problem’s n s t uf f . 

Everybody looks so

VRISKA: Hold the fucking phone! Why should we listen to ANYTHING you have to say?

YOU sHOULDN’T

VRISKA: Your track record isn’t exactly stellar! And from what I’m seeing right now, you haven’t learned from your colossal fuckup one iota!

WOAH, VASKA... who the hell says iota????

VRISKA: I have a8solutely ZERO interest in letting the same washed up has-8een whose mess *I* had to clean up waltz up here and act like she’s my goddamn s8vior!!!!!!!

YEAH TELL HER VRISKA! EVEN THOUGH IM PREEETTY SURE YOU DID NOTHING AND TEREZI DID EVERYTHING...

And, oh god my memory of the timelines and stuff are getting me confused. I’m sure I’m probably wrong about this, but y’know what I’m gonna talk about it anyways. Would this Vriska really even know about Aranea? I mean, she didn’t die, so... maybe just in her dreams or something. or. gdi im confused.

ARANEA: Come now, Vriska. You of all people should know that there are 8etter times to choose for throwing hissyfits!

This isn’t a HISSYFITS. This is clear and rational thought. And I don’t get w hY NOBODY ELSE IS QUESTIONING THESE THINGS.

ARANEA: And 8esides, what a8out your little plan? We can all pl8nly see how well that turned out. You were smacked down just as unceremoniously as I was, so don’t act as if you’re suddenly the only person who can pull their own w8 around here.

Yeah, but you know what? Her plan didn’t revolve around dooming EVERYBODY. Her plan had essence of COMPETENCE.

ARANEA: You may 8e incredibly stu88orn, 8ut you can’t 8e so foolish as to dismiss common sense purely for the s8ke of your ego. I’m your 8est shot at m8king it out of this alive. While your army was 8eing eradic8ed, I was 8usy uncovering the truth. ARANEA: If you would just allow me to expl8n, perhaps you could finally reg8n your wits and 8e a8le to focus on what TRULY matters.

oh god i hate her h e l p.

pLEASE.. DOUBle DEATh HER.

VRISKA: I already HAVE my wits! And I was just a8out to use them to whip this 8unch of losers into sh8pe 8efore YOU and your 8loated delusions of grandeur showed up! ARANEA: Is that what you were a8out to do? I never would have guessed. Considering from my perspective, you were in the middle of some sort of mental 8reakdown 8rought on 8y 8eing utterly incapa8le of comprehending the magnitude of your own failure!

At least she DAMAGED HIM. SHE INFLICTED SOME FORM OF HARM TO THE UNKILLABLE GOD TRYING TO FUCK THEM OVER. You literally just got everybody killed with no positive result, you cannot claim that you are A N Y better than her.

ARANEA: If you had been p8ying attention, you might have t8ken note of when I mentioned that this outcome was inevita8le. There was hardly anything I could have done to prevent it. YOU, on the other hand... ARANEA: The mishap with your dice could easily have 8een avoided if you had simply realized how thoroughly outmatched you were. Did you actually try your little luck-stealing trick on LORD ENGLISH?

FIRST THE  F U C K OF ALL... If this outcome was inevitable, then that literally makes EVERYBODY IN PARADOX SPACE JUST AS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS DISASTER. NNGH YOU CANNOT PIN THIS ON VRISKA JUST TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK BETTER

VRISKA: Yeah! I did!!!!!!!! That’s kind of what I DO? VRISKA: 8ut... it didn’t WORK. ARANEA: Tsk, tsk. Of course it didn’t. Lord English is hardly on the same level as the 8lack king, or the myriad low-level imps, hapless trolls, and pitiful ghosts from which you’d previously acquired your ill-gotten fortune. Your a8ilities aren’t even close to developed enough to stand a chance against such an opponent! ARANEA: 8ut say, I think that perhaps we can strike a deal. We all know that time has 8een kinder to me in that I’ve had enough of it to refine my powers considera8ly. 8etween the two of us, I am clearly the superior Hero of Light.

. . . . . . . . F U C K Y O U .

Can’t deal with this. Can’t TAKE this girl’s superiority complex.

God im turning into the human equivallent of a salt shaker.

VRISKA: Oh, yeah. Sure. 8ecause I’m totally interested in whatever 8ogus “deal” you have to offer. Especially when you phrase it like THAT! ARANEA: And yet you don’t deny truth of my words. A smart choice. VRISKA: Are you going to w8ste time gloating, or actually get to the point?! ARANEA: My point is that I would 8e more than happy to lend you my services. Allow you to maximize your potential in a more... expedient fashion, given the sizea8le constraints we are currently under. ARANEA: All you would have to do is ask nicely. May8e even apologize for raising your voice? A little more respect and deference would 8e appreci8ed as well. ARANEA: What do you say? A deal is a deal? ::::)

GOD. DAMN IT I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS. I REALLY REALLY R E A L L Y HATE HER. NOBODY WANTS YOUR HELP. Oh god this is turning into the worst liveblog ever, B U T SERIOUSLY I HATE HER AND THAT IS LITERALLY ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT RIGHT NOW.

VRISKA: How a8out this: I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!!!!

YEs. PRECISELY 

OHFUCKHIKANKRI

KANKRI: *PHWEEEEEEEET!!!*

...

O k you know what. For once, I’m actually happy about Kankri existing. That fuckfest needed to end.

And jesus. I need to calm myself down.

Oh god poor Mituna is freaking out.

KANKRI: I think that is QUITE en9ugh 9f that f9r n9w. While I n9rmally endeav9r t9 enc9urage c9nstructive de6ate in the interest 9f inf9rming the ign9rant masses, this argument has 6ec9me far t99 pr96lematic f9r me t9 all9w it t9 c9ntinue!

Gdi I haven’t even read it yet, but it already hurts to look at.

Alright. So yeah, this is getting out of hand and he’s putting a stop to it with his space jesus powers.

KANKRI: There isn’t nearly en9ugh time f9r me t9 g9 9ver all 9f the deeply distur6ing c9mments disparaging n9t 9nly the magically disadvantaged, 6ut the mentally challenged, which I have just 69re witness t9. S9 I will settle with 6riefly chastising y9u 69th f9r y9ur cavalier disregard 9f y9ur inherent privilege, and enc9urage y9u to 6e m9re aware 9f h9w the nature 9f y9ur w9rds might affect the very imp9rtant feelings 9f pe9ple that aren’t here.

And people that ARE here. Like, you know. The mentally challenged Mituna right behind you. Though I’m pretty sure you’re speech his having a worse affect on him than they are. Also, how the hell did they even offend any mentally challenged people??

LATULA: ummmmmm, l1k3, not to b3 UN-r4d or wh4t3v3r, b3c4us3 th4t 1s TOT3S not my styl3, LATULA: but m1tun4 1s l1k3, R1GHT h3r3??

Thank you Latula, the poor guy is dying at all these words.

KANKRI: He is?

Oh my god Kankri, seriously? Were you too busy ogling at Latula to realize that their were handicapped people who needed defending in the area?

MITUNA: 1 H4T3 Y0UR FUCK1NG W157L3 KANKRI: 9h. Right, 9f c9urse. My mistake. Ap9l9gies, Mituna. I h9pe y9u d9n’t mind that I have taken it up9n myself t9 help speak 9n y9ur behalf, c9nsidering y9ur vari9us issues with speaking at all.

kANKRI. that is not how you speak to handicapped people. Is he just salty that he’s dating Latula? Yeah. he’s totally salty about latula.

MITUNA: UM KANKRI: Exactly. Y9u’ve 6een rendered n9n-ver6al 6y the sens9ry 9verl9ad caused 6y all this unnecessary sh9uting. Which makes the wh9le thing w9rse, really. Right, Mituna? MITUNA: WHY 4R3 7HR33 S0 M4NY W0RD5 MITUNA: 175 4LL MITUNA: 8UZZ1NG LATULA: dont worry 4bout 1t b4b3! 1ts 4lmost ov3r. MITUNA: 5H0U71NG 4ND MITUNA: 5TUP1D 8ULG3 WH1FF1NG WH157L35 MITUNA: FUCK

Latula is literally the best supportive girlfriend. Is she gonna cover his ears for him next?

KANKRI: Even m9re sincere ap9l9gies, Mituna. Even if the use 9f the whistle was vital in the c9nstructi9n 9f y9ur safe space, I understand that it did upset y9u and that y9ur feelings 9n the matter are valid. KANKRI: 6ut thankfully, and despite the unf9rtunate side effects, it did its j96 9f helping 6ring every9ne t9 their senses. KANKRI: Really, this wh9le thing c9uld have 6een av9ided if y9u 69th had just listened t9 P9rrim's advice. PORRIM: O+h. PORRIM: Kanny, did yo+u just... AGREE with me fo+r o+nce? KANKRI: ... KANKRI: I 6elieve I have asked y9u several times n9w n9t t9 call me that!

what has this devolved into? What is this BICKERING. Can anybody remain on the same page for more than two sentences? Honestly, I’m surprised Lord English hasn’t just killed them all yet.

AND HERE THESE TWO ARE, indifferent as always.

SOLLUX: (well.) SOLLUX: (this is pr0bably the worst clusterfuck i have ever had the f0rtune 0f n0t seeing.) SOLLUX: (are y0u sure we can’t just leave?) SOLLUX: (as if whichever smug fuck that ends up running the idi0t brigade is g0ing to s0lve 0ur impending d00m. it’s alm0st starting t0 feel like the wh0le pirate crew bullshit all 0ver again.) SOLLUX: (except s0meh0w even m0re 0f a catastr0phe.)

Sollux, there’s one thing you’re forgetting. The pirate ship was a disaster, yes. but now you have one KEY FACTOR that will lead you all to victory. The power of F R I E N D S H I P. Can’t you just feel all the good vibes radiating off of these assholes?

ARADIA: (we cant go yet sollux!) ARADIA: (i have no intention of leaving) ARADIA: (and while i understand why you may want to this time it really is somewhat imperative that you stay) ARADIA: (we all have a part to play in the preservation of reality) ARADIA: (a mission which is even more critical now than it has ever been!)

Alright, so this team’s objective “SAVE REALITY” Team lilypad’s objective “DONT.. DIE” Team Lowas’s objective “THERAPIZE ERISOL”

SIMPLE ENOUGH.

oh god i just remembered Calliope already died and that’s s A  D ...

SOLLUX: (ugh. really?) ARADIA: (yes!) SOLLUX: (s0 i’m like. imp0rtant s0meh0w?) ARADIA: (does it help you feel better to think about it like that?) SOLLUX: (... kind 0f? bizarrely en0ugh.) SOLLUX: (where did that c0me fr0m all 0f a sudden?) ARADIA: (i couldnt possibly tell you) ARADIA: (but what i can tell you is that i think this brief setback will be over soon) SOLLUX: (fine, if y0u say s0.)

All setbacks can be overcome with enough  TIME. HAHA.... TIME JOKE. The hell am i doing with my life.

Oh shit is Davepeta here to drop some calm bombs on the group?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < man this is just getting sad DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but guess i oughta toss my two cents into this clusterfuck DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < beclaws honestly i KIND of agr33 with vwiskers a little? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < my subconscious is clawing at me that we totally cant trust aranea at all ever

THANK, you. 

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < cause shes seriously bad news DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i dont have any real concrete memories or anything to support it but DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i dunno! thats just how i f33l DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < meow on the other paw DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < we kind of are in some purrty hot water DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and i ALSO have the conflicting f33ling that whatever info she has fur us will be impurrtant DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so if anything we should just hear her out DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so long as you dont try to pull anything fishy!!

SIGH... I G U E S S. It still feels horrible to even let her get a word in, just because she’s literally gonna act like every useful information she gives is worth everything, and they have no right to blame her for anything.

ARANEA: Er... ARANEA: Thank you for the endorsement. And the warning, I suppose. ARANEA: If there won’t 8e any further interruptions? MEENAH: yeah sure fine whatever MEENAH: but u beta believe im gonna be gilling you later ARANEA: I look forward to it.

I’m gonna hope that was a fish pun, and what she meant was ‘killing’

TAVROS: i THINK VRISKA LOOKS LIKE, sHE IS READY TO STOP SHOUTING, TAVROS: sO WE CAN BEGIN LISTENING, TAVROS: wHICH IS GOOD, bECAUSE I AM VERY CURIOUS, TAVROS: eSPECIALLY SINCE, i SORT OF, aLWAYS LIKED YOUR STORIES, aRANEA, TAVROS: wHEN THEY DIDN’T RUN TOO LONG, aNYWAY,,,

N O B O D Y A S K E D Y O U  T A V R O S

putthatfuckingsmileaway

ARANEA: Don’t worry, Tavros. I will try and keep this as 8rief as possible. ARANEA: While also ensuring all vital inform8tion and context is provided, of course. ARANEA: Now, allow me to 8egin...

...gjdkgfignjfij

conflicting feelings about everything here. Alright. WELL, that is the end of this update. you can listen to my whine a bunch on the next part. SO. yeah.