#ill probably rant properly about this later but can some of you please please please please please learn parasocial boundaries PLEASE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yourdaddychan · 4 years ago

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wow-

literally just wow- i genuinely have nothing to say about this please- i cannot explain how much this means to me- there's 1000 of us- *hugs all of you* [ especially the porn bots ] *turns into formal luna asf*

i remember when i started in may, just a tiny chatbot with only one mutual, only known to you guys as [ answer : admin ]. and now, almost a year later, i have 1k of my chainsaw eating demons who are metal as fuck 💪ive learned so much being on tumblr, as a part of both the skz writers community and the chatbot community. ive made a bunch of friends, lost a bunch of ones, and 1k of you stuck with me. i cannot begin to express my gratitude to all of you, and how much all of you and your interactions with me mean to me. all of the simping, the random stories, everything. i cherish all of it, and i love all of you. aight so letz get to the personal thanking asf

alsoer i kinda wanted to do something sexy so imma do what color they remind me of :D most of them can be found at this link : https://louisem.com/29880/color-thesaurus-infographic

@kvinly linn bb 🥺through all the drama we've been through and shit im so glad we ended up becoming friends again cause we're kinda sexy together 😉thank you so much for being my 1000th follower bb you mean so much to me and if anyone hurts you im about to *turns into jennie and kachows them* licherally lets nevah fight again

-> you remind me of the color punch , and not only because of the name- underneath that grr me edgy grr me bully you're just a softie simp and that reminds me of punch :D

@undeadbots steph 🥺lemme be your personal broken chopsticks pls :( KLDSKLD anywayz we've also gone through some sexy drama and thankfully you saw da light 😉and now look at us, with our own band, and our own producing line 🥺brohemian rhapsody for life bro 🥺 *big kithie for da best dad in da world :D*

-> you remind me of the color viridian , because it gives me confident vibes :D you carry yourself proudly and confidently as you should tbh go steph

@binniesthighs oh look its a cutie *pushes you to a mirror* right there :D RORORO YOUR BOAT :DD we havent talked too much, besides my simping for jisung- but you give me very sexy energy so imma propose rq *gets down on one knee* will you be the rororo to my boat 🥺thank you for being my moot :D

-> you remind me of the color espresso , because espresso looks like the color to be pretty chill and laid back, and you're all of those, and calming to be around

@toshis-flower BAYBEE BEBE BEEBEE :D thank you so much for being my moot and making me a wifey asf ‼️ you're literally so much like me whats not to love <3 JKSDJKD JKJK you're really sweet and really just a good person to rant to, i love you so so so much and i think im going to remarry you :D

-> you remind me of the color taffy , because you're sweet, cute, and bright :D *eats you* yummy

@lov3ric seyoung. i love you. so much. MY SOULMATEEEE :DD even though we tell the story over and over like a bunch of grandmas, ill still never forget how we became soulmates and then bonded over boba 🥺im licherally going to marry you one day like ez 💪also i wanna eat you can i eat you youre really cute *eats you*

-> you remind me of the color daffodil , because it reminds me of banana milk which reminds me of you tbh- buuuttt did you know that daffodils are one of the first flowers you see when spring starts? that definitely reminds me of you because through all of the cb drama, you've always been there with me, like literally always- i cannot express how much i love you *kithie*

@simpchimp LIDDLE CHEESE FUCKER THEMBO :DD drink water *spank* i love you so much you cutie 🥺you're also licherally the funniest person ever like stop bae i kinda need to be the funniest but noer its you 😔alsoer i love how random you are KDSKLD so nevah stop that because then *revz up arm* youre going to get luna-ified

-> you remind me of the color jam , because even though you seem kinda scary at first [ yes i was 100% scared of you ] you're really soft :D

@berrywoo the sun themself 💪you are easily the purest person ive met, and im so happy i somehow became moots with you :D you literally hit diff, yk? theres something about your personality and the way you act thats so comforting, and that means i eat you because youre too cute :D you cant just be a wholeass teacher for kids and expect not to get eaten kids are licherally demons whoever deals with them properly and treatz dem nicely gets a nom asf

-> you remind me of the color honey , because you're a sunshiney yellow, and you're sweet like honey :D i think you need to hear that its okay not to be okay bb, and you can come to my dms anytime you want to rant 😎

@yourchungha MS OG CHUNGHA MS IM KINDA SCARED OF THE SHIT YOU DO MS FURREH LOVER 101 MS ANNA BANANA :D yeah youre like really nice- thats all i have to say- like how tf do you deal with [ redacted ] like eggsplain- ALSO YOURE CARRYING OUR CONVERSATIONS BECAUSE IDK HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE DKSJKD I LOVE YOU FOR THAT AND WE SHOULD HAVE LIKE ACTUAL CONVERSATIONS MORE OFTEN

-> you remind me of the color scarlet , because youre a sexy bitch tf and scarlet gives me 'idc what you think im hot' kinda vibes which is like exactly you

@satosimp WINTER DADDY :DD i lub you asf *insert we dont talk anymore by charlie daddy* ugh the way your personality matches mine is kinda sexy or whatever im also kinda in love with you but lets ignore that part 🙄 💪 *big kithes* *eats your cats casually*

-> you remind me of the color lilac , because it just gives me tsundere vibes, you act like you dont care but really do care :D you liddle sawftie *noms your cheekie*

@nightshade-minho DUCKIE :DD *insert we dont talk anymore by charlie daddy pt 2* licherally bae where the fuck are you i miss you you bettah be doing well in school otherwise im going to smack you with a chappal asf DSJJKSD *eats your cat because hes such a cutie*

-> you remind me of the color marigold , because you're adorable and sunshiney :D

@onigirimeeya MICHIE MICHIE MICHIEIEEIEI MY DAD :DDD i like you mucho much if you didnt know *kithes you* you're like one awf da best listeners ever- which is such a weirdass compliment but its true- you're really good at listening, and just being a comforting presence in general, like when you go to the beach and youre just staring at the waves all edgy mode, and it calms you down a fuck ton

-> you remind me of the color mint , for obvious reasons- mint choco chip cookie michie :DD

@hhjs bae we dont talk a lot but im kinda lurking on all of your posts- JKDSJSKD bae remarry me please youre really fucking hot 😭and the way you have with words is like damn- teach me oppar asf

-> you remind me of the color wine , because you're refined, and carry yourself in a way that makes everyone want to be you. the color wine is rich and deep, which reminds me of the way you write :D

@nsfw-stay MY LICHERAL BABIE YOUVE BEEN AN ANON FOR SUCH A LONG TIME AND WEVE TALKED ABOUT SO MUCH SHIT TOGETHER [ a lot about seungmin and jisung but shhh ] I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BB AND I WILL NOM YOU >:( BUT SOFTLY AND OUT OF LOVE *nomz yew* :D

-> you remind me of the color cerulean , because its a baby blue and what fits better than a baby blue yk? you're adorable and squishy and i want to nom you 24/7

@secretary-yeji *iz chan ig cause we dont talk admin to admin* oh erm gee is uncle chrith 😉DKLSKLD my liddle koala :D my liddle burgah :D my liddle aussie :D my besth frien :DDD evah since may i think we've been friends, and i think one of the highlights of that day was me marking you as spam twice and on accident too- LKSDKLSD WE DONT TALK ABOUT THAT anywayz thank yew for being uncle chrith's friend *kith*

-> you remind me of the color seafoam , because it's a very soft and light color yk, you're delicate asf which sounds like a bad thing now that im typing it BUT IT ISNT DSKLDSLK YOURE VERY CUTE YOU AND YOUR FLOOFY COWS :D

@ayolistenupp im kinda... in love with you? wtf? KDSDKSL MY DESI DADDY ASF I LOVE YOU SOER MUCH :D our music nights™️ mean so much to me, like theres just something so personal about listening to what the other person likes to hear even though half of your songs are sexy asf KLDSKLD

-> you remind me of the color ocean , because the ocean is loud but calming yk- like you're full of energy but you're also calming :D

@yanderexchungha OH ERM GEE YEW :O YOU PROBABLY WONT SEE THIS IN LIKE 10 MONTHS BESTIE MERRY CHRISTMAS IG KLDSLKD anyway i love you dad your lessons about vape >>> to quote your drunk ass exactly "vape isnt cool" JKSDJ anyway its gonna be sexy if we accidentally run into each other in the hallwayz asf

-> you remind me of grey cause youre a hag- JKJK KDJSD you remind me of the color caramel , because you're sweet, and licherally addictive caramel isnt good for my braces but i keep eating it 😰but youre addictive in a good way :D

@yanderelee literally only doing this because you were moping about not having a simp sunday and im such a good person 🥸you're cool 💪and unfortunately, you're funny too 😥and even though i bully you asf dont take it personally because i dont mean it asf

-> you remind me of the color dijon mustard because you just give those hacker vibes please dont hack me after i said this i like to keep my location private

@kpopswitchbot BESTIE 😏MY FIRST MUTUAL 😏 LICHERALLY DA BEST CUTEST FUNNIEST SMARTEST SEXIEST KEWLEST I CANT EVEN EXPRESS WITH WORDS FISHIE IN DA WORLD :D LICHERALLY STOP OUTDOING ME WITH YOUR GOODNIGHTS LIKE *spankz yew* YOURE LITERALLY TOO GOOD WITH WORDS ITS NOT FAIR- AND THE DAY YOU JUST TALKED TO ME IN SHAKESPEAREAN BECAUSE I FELT DOWN- AND EXPRESSED YOUR LOVE THAT WAY LIKE- PLEASE I ACTUALLY ADORE YOU AND I WILL LITERALLY EAT YOU ONE DAY

-> you remind me of the color coffee , not only because youre addicted to it but also because of the way you act, you're like the definition of an old soul- with the words you use, the drama kid you are asf, etc- you're a talented bitch *mwah* i love you so much you also remind me of those movies where they find an old ass book and they kinda hafta dust it off and it gives you treasure or something cause yeah that reminds me meeting you

AIGHT DAS IT ASF MWAH I LOVE YOU ALL :DDD

#if you wanna know more just drop an ask asf #would be cool if i had 1k for 1k but NOOOOO #i have more btw #*dabz*#THE WAY TUMBLR KEEPS GLITCHING BECAUSE THERES TOO MANY WORDS #NOT SEXY TUMBLR

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hatsukeii · 4 years ago

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Fam I needed to just write something to restart my brain and jumpstart some shit so

Just yeah you can ignore this fic if you’d like but I’d say still maybe give it a read because I don’t even know what I’m doing it’s 6am and I was brainstorming and got this

Angst btw, haven’t done that in a while

Okay but before that look at my baby though like he’s so perfect and precious and I love him sm🥺 so let’s make him suffer more on my blog hm🥰

Proud// Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Word count: 1.6k+

Warnings: Depression, self hatred, self harm, dead reader

Summary: I honestly don’t know at this point I just wrote down everything I could think of

All that clouded his mind were thoughts of disappearing. Staring mindlessly over the school’s rooftop, he felt a sense of euphoria. Maybe it was just his suicidal tendencies, or maybe it was more, but at that very moment, Tsukishima was imagining how it would feel to jump right off. It didn’t matter, really, did it? People took it as a joke. They took his attempts as a joke. “You’re just being overdramatic,” they’d say. “There’s no way you’d ever do that.” “Stop chasing attention.” Even with cuts on his bare skin, nobody reached out. “You wanna die? I’ll buy you pills later, yeah?” Well, yes, he did want to die, but the team never realised he was serious about it. Nobody ever realised he was serious about it. High schoolers took mental illness as a joke anyways. A twisted, disgusting, horrid joke that Tsukishima could do nothing about but smile and laugh along in order to hide his pain.

Except you.

He still remembers the way you would smile at him. God, you were the only one that would do that. How you sat with him in an empty classroom every single day, rubbing circles into his back as you told him everything would be okay. All those library weekends and study dates together, and not once did you ever complain about his need to rant. You were there to listen to him when no one was, yet all good things had to end. You were gone, and he wasn’t sure what to make of your death. It hurt. Everything hurt. His mind wasn’t stable enough to process it.

It was when you finally gave your last breath in that stupid, stupid hospital ward, did he realise how much he needed you. All the times he’s stopped himself from overdosing were because of you. He knew how devastated you would be if one day you woke up to the death of him on the news. You’ve done so much for him, he would never let himself cause you pain. Never. Yet now, he was back to square one. He was alone again. He was left on his own to fight through this dull, torturous, cruel world. He had to push on with his life, yet there was no one here to push on for. His one reason for living was gone.

The rooftop was quite chilly. Wind blew across Tsukishima’s, as if it was slapping him across the face. Did he look good at that moment? Tucking his shirt back in properly, he grabbed a jumper from his bag, pulling that over himself. If he was going to mourn, might as well mourn looking at least decent. He didn’t remember the wind being this cold. Was it always this cold? “Hey (Y/n), do you need a sweater...” He turned around, expecting to face you, when another gush of wind sliced across his cheeks. This was going to take a while to get used to. He used to let you wear his sweaters when it got chilly like this. You would always pull the sleeves over your hands to make sweater paws, the one thing that never failed to make Tsukishima smile stupidly. The extra sweater he habitually brought to school now sat in his backpack, with no one here to wear it. Sure, he could give it to someone else, another girl even, but it wouldn’t feel right. It never would.

“Ahh, it really never lasts does it?”

And he would be right. The best relationships never last for him. Was it a curse? Some kind of sick hex on him? He would never know. Two good relationships down the drain. First his brother, now you. Why didn’t he see the signs? How you oftentimes skipped school without a warning, the way your face went paler and paler by the day, it almost made him laugh at how utterly stupid and unsuspecting he was. How could he have let all those little things slide? He hated himself for not noticing earlier. If he knew he would’ve done anything to make you the happiest person he knew. There were so many things he wanted to do with you. He was planning on bringing you on a date someday, before telling you how he had quit the cutting. He wanted to show you all the constellations someday, as per your request to him. He wanted to feel your arms around him, hands stroking his hair and his neck tickly from you mumbling sweet nothings into it. He wanted to one day hold your hand in his, comparing the sizes as he laced his fingers with yours. He was trying so hard not to disappoint you. He made a promise to himself that he would let you be the first to know, yet that won’t work out now that he can’t tell you anything. He was so close to his goal, going from cuts all over his arm to occasionally a cut or two on his wrist. He could imagine the way you would cover your mouth like you do when you cried at the movies out of joy, before lunging forward and holding him tight, not letting go, just like how you usually would when he made you proud. Would someone else ever do that for him? No, that would be over demanding for anyone else. High schoolers didn’t have time for shit like this. Nobody cared enough to sit there for hours on end trying to unravel the puzzle that is his mind.

He could almost hear you next to him, patting his back and whispering into his ear just like the old days.

“Kei, I’m so sorry. I really am. But I... please don’t hate yourself. Hate me. Hate me for leaving you so soon. Hate me all you want, but never, ever hate yourself. You are the best thing I’ve ever com across. Your poor soul needs to heal, and I promise, I’ll be watching you from above.”

The thought of your last words snapped the fragile string in him as tears rolled down his cheeks, the rooftop breeze blowing them into his mouth. He would never hate you, even if you wanted him to. He simply couldn’t and that goes without question. When he heard about you being in a hospital ward, he practically dropped everything he was doing and zoomed over, praying he could see you at least one last time.

“I... fuck- promise..?”

He shakily held out his pinkie, his eyes shut tightly as he tried to stop the tears. For a moment, he felt your pinkie graze against his, before it fell.

“(Y/n)..? (Y/n) wake up, wake up please! Please, you can’t leave me now, I can’t handle it by myself, please... I’m begging you...”

Your parents stared as the unknown blond boy wailed, pouring his tears onto their child’s hospital bed as he refused to accept it.

“(Y/N)! I’M SORRY, I’M SO, SO SORRY! I’M... I’m sorry, I couldn’t make you the happiest person in the world.”

It’s okay, you thought.

You already did, Kei.

He never got a reply to his question.

“Tsukki? Tsukki! Lunch is about to end!”

“Ah, shit”

Rubbing his eyes, he looked down, eyes painful from crying. Was it already the end of lunch? Probably, but it wouldn’t hurt to skip a class or two once in a while.

“It’s fine Yamaguchi.”

His friend was the most concerned after your death. He knew that Tsukishima was bound to have a hard time accepting the death of his anchor. He may not have realised it himself, but Yamaguchi knew Tsukishima well. And from everything that he’s seen, he was absolutely sure that he was in love with you. He was so in love with you to the point where he would probably never recover from losing you. He could see that you were such an important part of his life, that losing you would be equivalent to dying. Yet now, his best friend was alone again. Yamaguchi never fully understood Tsukishima, you were the only one that was able to dig deep into his mind and console him properly. You were the definition of his comfort and vice versa. The two of you were inseparable. Yamaguchi truly didn’t know how to help at this point. Tsukishima was damaged beyond return.

“Tsukki, I know it’s really hard on you, but I promise it’s going to get better. Please don’t do it even if you think it’s worth it because it’s not. I’m not saying this out of pity. You helped me up at my lowest and I want to do the same for you. Losing you would be losing the person I’m the most thankful for.”

Tsukishima would kill himself with no problem. What stopped him was knowing that even if he did, he wouldn’t be able to meet you. He could never see you again no matter how hard he tried. A person like you, who selflessly helped him during his hardest times, greeted everyone with a smile, you were bound to end up somewhere nice, whether it was heaven, or reincarnated into a millionaire. The universe would never accept someone like himself. He hurt himself and others in many ways, he was going to hell for everything he had done, and although that would be okay with him, a promise was a promise.

So he was going to live.

He was going to live on, stop cutting, and be the best person he could, all in honour of you.

He was going to live and make you, watching him from above, proud, even if the two of you were to never meet again.

Tags:

@izzyphantomgamer @sunshines-and-tatertots @tiredgr3mlin @tiger1719 @skyeackermans @macaronnv @ewfilthymundane @samanthaa-leanne @kaylacinderella @inlwlevi @random-fandomlover @majorfangirl37 @itmekisuu @trashcanweeb @sakusasgarbage @eightaces @fandomwriter73 @mariechan123 @iwaigroomi @oyasenpai @sneezefiction @emsvegetables @poppirocks @shoutsukii @bokutokoutarou @artsamber @xonfusedsoul @justachillgirl @just-another-bored-writer

I’M BACK FUCKERS

I’ll do some requests now lmao

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu tsukishima #hq #hq x reader #hq imagines #hq scenarios #hq headcanons #hq tsukishima #hq tsukki #tsukishima #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #haikyuu angst #manga #anime

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markitchi · 4 years ago

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One day, hop told leon about his feelings towards victor. leon was surprised and laughed, teasing his little brother about being in love at his own best friend, of course,leon still support him,but lets be honest older brother will bully no matter what.

often times,leon teases hop by text,poking fun at him because hop is head over heels on victor, not to mention hop pratically screams on his text whenever he text leon about victor.

leon ofcourse,tells this to raihan,raihan laughed and smiled.

Leon stared for abit,laughed awkwardly and the realization hits.

leon called hop that he...likes raihan,hop laughed hysterically,and of course mocks leon in return, and oh boy,leons lovesick case is way worse than hop.

hop had the courage to ask victor for lunch and is still brave enough to talk to him. leon? leon is hopeless,despite being a tactical genius,an ex-champion and the CEO & chairman of the battle tower, he just doesnt know how,and raihan getting more handsome each day doesnt help either.

well leon doesnt go awkward,and run away whenever raihan goes near,he just doesnt make any move. compared to hop,who already hold hands with victor,and cooked him curry with a heart shapped sausage in the middle.

raihan and leon saying “i love you bro,no homo” everyday doesnt help either,whenever leon tries say that he loved raihan,raihan laughed and replied back with “i love you too champ,no homo” he has the need to say “but i love you with full homo” but of course he didnt.

time pass by,and after months off woo-ing victor,hop tries to confess to the current champion and victor accepted the confession! now theyre boyfriends hip hip horray! hop calls leon about it and leon is very proud,hop asked leon about his progression with raihan and leon shrugged and replied with “still the same hopscotch” with a heavy sigh in the end.

one day,hop suddenly felt the urge to ask raihan how he feels about leon, and so,he goes to hammerlocke, but he doesnt go straight with “hey raihan,do you like leon? because leon does and he probably wants to marry you and make babies with you” nu-uh, hes going to ask raihan about dragon type pokemon first (saying its a part of his studies) THEN leon.

after hours and hours of discussing about dragons,and hop trying to shift the conversation slowly to leon, he finally asked the question “hey raihan,what do you think of leon? leon talked alot about you,and i wonder about your thoughts about him yknow” raihan stared at hop,looks away,stared at hop again,and he replied with “hes..good and all- i guess” a cough “what did leon said about me? i mean if he mocks me and all,id tell you about the bad stuff,but if he...says good things then,ill tell you the good things,so itll be balanced”

hop stares at raihan,smirked and tells raihan most of it.

that leon is grateful having raihan as his rival, and best friend,because he is reliable in any kind of circumstances, considerate, gentle and patient,especially because leon is a klutz sometimes,raihan never gets angry at him and helped him instead,raihan is also very supportive,yet tries to slow down leon if hes planning something impulsive, and despite his narcistic persona, raihan is humble and polite.

raihan looks down for a sec, pulls his bandana down, (to wipe his tears) and then finally raihan goes on with his opinion on leon

(hop secretly records this because he cant help it,hes tired of his big ol’ brother’s pinning)

raihan is also,very grateful having leon as his rival and best friend,he never spreads negative energy despite always being sorrounded by it,caring,affectionate,a great listener because raihan rants alot,leon also give actual good advices and constructive criticism.a good emotional support too,despite raihans thirst for attention,leon never judged him for it.

hop agrees, and is glad that both cares about each other. and after that he thanked raihan and left,but before he does, raihan asked hop why did hop ask his opinion on leon. hop shrugged and said “leon is just,very glad to have you on his life, and want you to be forever his,okay see you later, raihan!” and hopped on the flying taxi. raihan cant believe he heard that.

leon want him to be...forever his? his what??

hop arrived home,and sent leon the stuff he recorded,told leon that hop says the word,and yells at leon to confess already.

leon listened to the recording,expecting something bad but..he didnt. his love for raihan grows wider and his urge to marry date raihan at this point has grown larger than ever.

he finally had the bravery to ask raihan to hang out with him,and maybe,just maybe talk about his feelings.

he texted raihan if hes free on weekends,so that they can hang out on leons apartment, raihan said yes and probably gonna be there at friday so he can sleepover,leon gladly agrees because whats more romantic than confessing your feeling to your best friend on your bed?

the day has come,they spend some time together,heck even had a baby pokemon fight on leons balconny (both just hatched a baby trapinch and a baby axew,of course theyre gonna make them fight) watched the sunset together,platonically,definitely 0 sexual tension.

they showered (sadly not together),had dinner,played with their baby pokemons until it got tired and sleeps, and its finally their turn to sleep.

both got comfortable on the bed,and leon starts the conversation

“so...hop told me about what you think about me” leon paused for a second to see raihans reaction,raihan just stared at him,waiting for him to continue, “thank you..it... it meant alot coming from you”

raihan just shot an awkward yourewelcome,followed by a very uncomfortable silent.

leon jolted up “raihan,if you want to leave then leave but- but please dont leave me completely because youre 1 of the biggest part of my life,and you,leaving completely would ruin me” leon is in verge of tears. raihan slowly got up,tries to soothe leon that he wont leave no matter what leon will say, leon sighed,and continues “dont try to slow me down for this plan” he glared at raihan like how he does when he battles “raihan i- i like you,like,like like you,love you,full homo,i dont know for how long but im pretty sure its there for along time,because- when the realization hits, it hits hard, it doesnt feel like a giddy puppy love feeling,its something more serious and if you got disgusted i-”

“theres no way im disgusted” raihan cut leon off,grab leons shoulder, “because i like you too,but im too scared to move because throwing 14 years of friendship is not wise at all” leon chuckled and replies “i guess it is huh”

leon tackled raihan,hugging him tight,raihan hugged him back,not wanting to let go. after at least 20 minutes of nonstop hugging,raihan lets go,but leon wont let him,pressing his face on raihans chest. raihan kissed leon on top of his head, “so what are now?” raihan asked,leon looks up “rivals?- wait, um” a pause “..boyfriends? please?”, raihan stared at leon,eyes filled with adoration “boyfriend it is,we already had dinner and played with our kids before so, i guess no date is needed,we are already official before we realize” leon laughed at the respond,let go of the hug,sat on top of raihan,cupped his cheek,peck raihans lip and hid his face next to raihans head. raihan rolled,making him on top of leon. and kissed his boyfriend properly.

after tons of smooches and hugs, they finally go to sleep. raihan sleeping on top of leons tits.

its supposed to be a short headcanon,but i didnt stop. sorry if its messy and all,i didnt plan it to be this long but im hoping that you enjoy this,thank you for reading till the end!

-kize

#truerivalshipping #raileon #kbdn #dnkb #leonrai #champion leon #gym leader raihan

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jackass-jones · 3 years ago

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I’m gonna have a nerdy rant about video games please excuse me (zero escape spoilers)

K so my fave game series I’ve become obsessed with is zero escape, aka a weird bullshit series where the fandom is both small and dead as shit. Yay. And I just finished the last game, zero time dilemma. I wasn’t initially gonna play this game just cuz I heard it was kinda bad, but the ending to vlr had me curious. Plus it had Junpei in it and, well, I think he’s neat :)

But aaaaaaa

Yeah it was bad. Ill go over the good things though. I thought the escape rooms were like challenging without being toooo challenging. They were a good medium between the 999 and vlr puzzles. I liked them. I also really liked the D team a lot. Luna was one of my favorite vlr characters so it’s kinda natural I liked Diana a lot too. I also thought Sigma and Phi were really good in this game. I wasn’t to crazy about either of them in the second game but like. They’re cute in this game. And even though they’re "getting together" situation was kinda iffy, I think Sigma and Diana were cute together. The only valid het couple in this series. I’m kinda indifferent about the whole twist where Phi is their daughter. I don’t hate it, and I think it was cool how it was foreshadowed in vlr, but I think it makes some dynamics weird. Personally, I think Sigma and Phi would have a better siblings relationship but eh

Now let’s get into the bad, even though there’s so much that I physically cannot go over all of it. Idk where to even start. First off, the art style and designs had like no heart. Like everyone has interesting designs (one might even say too interesting) in the first two games. In ztd though, everyone was boring as shit. Junpei went from cool Marty McFly trans king to emo middle schooler. HE WAS LITERALLY IN JUST A BLACK SHIRT AND BLACK JEANS GOD. I’m gonna save him for later though. I’m just disappointed. Also the art style was bleh. I thought it looked nice on the cover, and I was also really excited cuz I read that there were "animated cutscenes". Y’all. Ugh. The cutscenes ended up being like the whole game. I was just watching it all go by and I couldn’t skip any dialogue without accidentally skipping important stuff. Not only that, there was no heart in it at all. I’d argue that the 3D models looked better in this game than in vlr (I’m personally not into how they changed to 3D but that’s a rant for another day), but the models in vlr had GREAT emotions! They had zero emotion in this game. I hated it. Thankfully the voice actors were able to add emotion but damn

Next is the characters. Needle to say, I didn’t enjoy most of them. I liked everyone on D team, the end. First of all, freaking Carlos. Talk about boring. Like god maybe I would’ve liked his design if he wasn’t wearing the button up and also maybe wore like any other pants aaaa. Also like hm. He uh, sure liked his sister. In a concerning way. Like it wasn’t a super obviously bad thing but every time romance was mentioned he’d be like "I don’t need romance, I have my sister!" Do you see what I mean? It’s sketchy to me.

Then we got Eric 👺👺👺. I hated this guy. First off he’s like a ripoff of Kristoph from frozen, without the fun himbo personality. And the whole time he was thirsting after Mira which ughhhh. They were worse than Junpei and Akane in 999. Maybe I’m just too gay for this shit but ughh. Also it was a thing that was pretty well established thing that his father was abusive but like. It didn’t really...mean jack shit? Honestly nothing about Eric’s character mattered, he was pretty irrelevant. Also he was super super shitty to Sean who was literally a fucking child

Then Mira. How disappointing aaaagh. Like they were literally just like "oh here’s this chick that has committed murder, this isn’t relevant at all :)". Like damn they really just had her be completely unnecessary huh. It was super obvious to me that she was the one who killed Eric’s mom and I thought that would’ve come up but. It just didn’t. I was also curious about their relationship in general since it seemed like she only got with Eric so she could kill him. And god they could’ve at least done something like idk. Make her like Dio and break into the game to cuz trouble. Or she could’ve been zero. Maybe that’s lazy but it would have been better. But no they literally did nothing with her. There was a timeline where she brutally murdered Junpei just like, for no reason I guess??? Jesus

Sean and Akane were characters I’m just meh about. I didn’t hate Sean, but I didn’t really like him either. Akane was never really my gal in 999 in the first place so hm. I think she’s funny but she’s done some sketchy stuff and idk I’d probably like her better if the games weren’t always trying to put her with Junpei every five minutes

Then there was Junpei. Ughhhh. They were trying something but ughh. He was very emo and kinda douchey and I just wasn’t into him. Which is a massive shame cuz I liked him a lot in 999, and especially in vlr. Like all I can say is that it’s a real disappointment for me

Now onto plot holes and things that didn’t get covered that should have. As previously mentioned, they didn’t do anything with Mira at all. They also didn’t properly go over Sigma and Diana’s relationship that Sigma had vaguely talked about that happened in another timeline. Carlos’s sister was not important at all and they threw in some "she’s got the mind abilities" bullshit in without really doing anything with it. The timeline shit made my brain turn into goo aaaa. We dont get closure on how the pandemic was stopped, which was the reason I played this fucking game. We didn’t learn jack shit about the third nonary game. And then of course, there’s fucking DELTA

This filled me with so much rage y’all. The game was just like "oh yeah btw there was this random old man who was just there the ENTIRE TIME that never got acknowledged ever and he’s the big bad villain of the game. Not just that, he’s the founder of the crazy cult from vlr. AND he’s Diana and Sigmas kid!" Like wow you know I don’t think words can describe how bad that was. I think things would’ve been better if he just like wasn’t there yeah. Also I guess he’s supposed to be like, the player cuz he mind controls the characters into making certain choices. Ugh. IT WAS SO STUPID MAN. And I guess the only ONLY reason he made the second nonary game was to make sure he was born which is just eghhhmm. That is too messy for me. That’s some bad time bullshit. And weird reason but okay. God

There’s literally so much more I have to say but if I don’t I’m gonna pass out so I’m just gonna take a nap and die. Moral of the story is that I’m pissed a series I loved ended so shitty and don’t play this game unless you hate yourself. The end

#dont look at me at all #i hate this shit so much i need to watch spongebob or something so i can recover from bad game #zero escape

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 4 years ago

Text

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 211

211

Feeling Lance getting out of bed, Keith felt for his lover, Lance’s hand finding his after he’d half slapped him on the lower back

“Babe?”

“Getting a drink”

“Dun’ be too long”

“I won’t”

Coran was a bad loser. Pidge had annihilated him in Mario. Keith and Lance coming downstairs just as Coran started accusing Pidge of cheating. Five rematches later and Matt had taken the controller off Coran who started on a tangent about everything wrong with the game. To soothe the piece, Hunk suggested they do the cake now that Lance was awake to enjoy it.

Hunk had outdone himself with the cake. Keith had no words for how nicely decorated it was, nor did he have words for how big it was. As they were choosing not to know the sex of their twins, Hunk had used soft pastels to bring colour to the cake with fancy twirly things and edging that he didn’t know the name for. Comprised of three tiers, the top tier had two foot pints made from edible chocolate, coloured purple, circled by “Kogane-McClain Twins”. The second layer read congratulations. The third being just cute pastel icing. Had he not been embarrassed over his lack of baking knowledge, he probably would have asked Lance what all the decorations were properly called. The inside of the cake matched the outside. Pink, purple, blue, green, and yellow, comprising the layers with buttercream frosting between them.

Apparently their Sunshine Hunk couldn’t help himself, Lance crying on Hunk’s shoulder as he thanked him. Hunk crying on Lance’s shoulder as he assured him he knew he was grateful. Taking the top tier for themselves, they shared a plate, knowing there was no way there would be anything left once Matt and Rieva started. Having never eaten a “foot” before, Keith was impressed Hunk had managed to mould white chocolate so well. The man had skills. If he were to open a bakery, Keith’s bank balance wouldn’t be staying in the black very long.

After the cake came the presents. Their twins had to have a set a record for the most blankets and onesies. Lance kept saying they didn’t need anything else, everything making him cry... except for Shiro who would forever be the lamest big brother in history. Someone out there made custom onesies. Keith would like to meet them and strangle them. Four bloody onesies. Four bloody supernatural themed onesies that had passed Curtis’s tick of approval. Two vampire print and two werewolf print. Why did everything Shiro touched always have to come back to that? Curtis earned some point back with him by gifting them a box set of documentaries that he and Lance had watched half of when Curtis lived there.

Coran, now over his loss and perked up with sugar, gifted them herbal teas with a long lecture on which teas were best for which moods. Being tea, it all went through one ear and out the other. Allura’s gift of coffee made it clear she knew what a werewolf needed in his life, especially with the sleepless nights to come.

Krolia... Krolia’s gift was a set of tiny little blades for their twins. Keith confiscating them before his mother could get any ideas about training the twins to be hunters. That wasn’t the life they wanted for their kids. They wanted to watch them grow and explore the world, finding their own passions to chase. Lance politely thanked Krolia, but the look on his face said those blades were to disappear somewhere where their twins would never find them.

Shay had found “emo” baby blankets. Lance found them funny, as they reminded him of Keith. Keith couldn’t deny that they weren’t his favourite gift because they were kind of nifty with their black and white skull patterns and the green one had a really cool dragon pattern on it.

From Matt and Rieva, almost entirely most definitely Rieva’s idea, they were gifted a set of second hand Berenstain Bears books. She’d started secretly collecting when she’d found out Lance was pregnant. Mami gave a little help with the gift choice. Matt’s gift to them was taking Pidge home and spending a couple of days in Platt so they could have more alone time before the birth. Keith had a new favourite present.

Pidge drunkenly praising her skills over “suping up” the pram she’d gifted them. The thing now sporting wheels that “would make Lance’s dumb bronco cry in jealous”. Lance wasn’t sure about it all, but Pidge wouldn’t be dissuaded that the pram wasn’t now at its absolute best. Though no one argued with her directly about it, she was mid-rant when she threw up rather violently onto the rug. Krolia taking her to the bathroom, while Lance excused himself to throw up in the kitchen sink. Now there was two vomiting people, it was a mutual decision to start winding things up. Matt and Rieva in charge of getting a drunk Pidge home. Shay and Hunk also deciding maybe it was best to head off before Pidge came out the bathroom again. Their gremlin very loving and loud about it between throwing up and being soothed by Krolia. Coran and Allura were catching a ride back to Platt with Krolia, and with how green Shiro was looking, Keith sending them home.

Keith didn’t realise until everyone had left, that they’d been left with the mammoth task of cleaning everything up. Still, for all it’s ups and downs, it’d been a good party, though the pair of them did breathe a sigh of relief when silence descended over their home. Chores were done. Dishes washed. The rug scrubbed. Everything else outside could wait for another day as they climbed into bed together, both too sleepy for the night of promised passion. Lance still had moisturiser on his nose as kissed Keith goodnight. Keith smearing it out for him, thinking how lucky he was to have Lance... and how their friends had spent way too much money on them. He didn’t think he’d ever be used to such thoughtful gifts without waiting for a catch.

Dozing off, Lance’s spot was still empty when he woke up again. There were some nights was more out of their bed than in, but Keith couldn’t hear him in the bathroom. Trying not to panic, the werewolf climbed out from the mound of blankets on their bed. Most nights he’d find he’d kicked them off, too hot and too sweaty to sleep peacefully, like Lance did. Jogging over to the bathroom, he found it empty. Vaguely he remembered Lance saying he was his thirsty. If his fiancé’s insomnia had kicked in, then Lance was most probably sitting in the living room watching the TV on mute so Keith could get some sleep.

Sleepy and stumbly, Keith missed the bottom step of the stairs, hand flying out and denting the wall as he felt himself fall. Had the overwhelming scent of blood not been in the air, he might have paused to examine the damage he’d just done to the same spot Lance had repaired at least a dozen times since moving into his house

“Lance?! Babe?!”

Getting no answer from his fiancé, Keith’s heart started to race as his mind went to the worst possible situation. Lance could have slipped. He could be bleeding out. There was so much blood in the air, the werewolf’s stomach felt queasy.

Checking the rooms along the way, Kosmo had made himself at home in Matt’s and Rieva’s room, an interesting fact, though useless because Lance was on his mind. Reaching Lance’s office, the door was slightly open, the space illuminated by his computer screen. Flicking the light on, Lance hissed at him. Keith’s eyes widened in shock at the sight in front of him. Lance covered in blood. His fiancé hadn’t been kidding about being thirsty. Blood ran down his chin, and from his hands down his arms, not caring about how much of a mess he’d made feeding on blood bags he’d torn apart rather popping the cap on them. A quick count came to 8 bags scattered around Lance’s feet.

Watching Lance throw down the blood bag he’d just finished, the vampire tore into the next one, literally. His hands trying to push as much blood from the ripped bag down his throat as he could

“Babe? Babe, you feeling okay?”

Raising his head, Lance’s eyes were blank. That warm spark that always seemed to sparkly that just little bit bright for him was dull

“Babe?”

This couldn’t be good. Lance said he was thirsty. Not that he hadn’t fed in a year and was now making up for it. Keith felt revolted, and guilty for being revolted. His ego shocked into shutting up as they stared

“Baby, I think you’ve had enough blood. Here, let’s go back to bed? How does that sound?”

Lance didn’t reply. Keith forcing himself to slowly edge towards Lance. This was his Lance. His Lance wouldn’t savage him as he’d done with the blood bags. Nope. No. He was totally safe. Yep. Just a normal day in a vampire pregnancy. Nothing to see here

“Babe, come on, you’ve had enough for now”

Lance threw away the bag he’d drained, Keith using his speed to grab the bag he’d been going for out of reach. Watching the bag, Lance bared his bloodied fangs

“Baby, please. I know you’re in there. It’s me. It’s Keith. Come on, babe. Don’t let your ego push you aside”

Oh... oh. He was crying now. Keith didn’t know when that started. Had Lance not eating this much contributed to him feeling so ill? Was this how much blood a pregnant vampire needed in their final weeks of pregnancy? Placing the bag on the desk, Keith shifted the bags on the floor away with his foot, making it to crouching in front of Lance safely.

With shaking hands the werewolf reached out. His left hand going to Lance’s forehead as his right hand cupped his fiancé’s face. Blinking at him, Keith’s touch seemed to “wake” his lover. Warmth and confusion filling Lance’s eyes

“K-Keith?”

Looking down at his bloodied front, Lance’s gaze flicked back up, eyes welling with tears

“Wha... what happened?”

“You got a bit thirsty”

“But... h-how? The... party...?”

“The party ended hours ago, baby. You’re okay. You didn’t hurt anyone”

“I... I don’t remember”

The pain in Lance’s eyes was crushing

“Pidge started throwing up. Matt and Rieva took her home. Are you okay? You don’t feel warm”

“I don’t feel very good...”

“Okay. That’s okay. Do you think you can stand up?”

Lance went to look down his chest again, Keith holding his head up so he forced to look him in the eye

“You’re okay. It’s a just a bit of blood”

“I don’t remember”

“That’s okay. We were both exhausted when we went to bed. Just focus on me, baby. You can do that right?”

“I always focus on you”

Moving a stray lock of hair back, Keith gave Lance the best smile he could manage around his internal freak out

“Yeah, you do. You’re so good to me, babe. Let’s get you cleaned up and back into bed”

Lance nuzzled into his palm

“I’m sleepy”

Normally that much blood would turn Lance into an ego driven wanker

“I bet you are. You had a huge day and our friends are idiots. Let’s wash up, then we’ll snuggle”

Lance closed his eyes, sniffing sadly

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry I don’t remember coming down here...”

“That’s okay, baby. That’s okay. You’re okay”

Putting Lance to bed, Keith couldn’t sleep. Lance passed right out, but Keith was worried. Once the scent of blood had finally been cleaned away, a strange scent cling to Lance that left him feeling on edge. He didn’t like. The scent had him all muddled up inside, almost as if it’d given him a dose of adrenaline and he simply couldn’t sit still. Leaving his fiancé sleeping, Keith first headed to the bathroom to fetch Lance’s bloodied shirt and underwear, before heading downstairs. The one night he could have done with someone else there to tell him what to do, their house stood uselessly empty. Cleaning. That was about all he could do.

Crying as he scrubbed at the blood split in Lance’s office, he wondered how the heck he was supposed to deal with this. Lance had climbed into bed without prompting, even skipping getting in one last apology before zonking out. His fiancé needed his sleep, but should he have been waking him and taking him to Coran? Was he overreacting? It wasn’t like Lance had had a bleed, he’d checked when he’d towelled him down. Now that he was back to being himself, he’d been affectionate... but he couldn’t get the image of all that blood out of his head.

The torn bags thrown in the trash with Lance’s clothes, and the clothes from cleaning, the bin then dragged out to the road at Lance’s gateway for collection. Coming back to the house, Keith could hear Lance snoring, yet found himself unable to head upstairs with so much in his head. He needed coffee... and he really needed a fucking hug... Coffee at least was home and never failed at settling him, if he didn’t think about the times it had.

Settling himself on the edge of the sofa, Keith didn’t remember grabbing his phone when he’d left Lance sleeping. Kosmo coming quietly padding into the room, dropping himself to sit beside Keith’s legs with a soft whine

“I know. I’m worried about him too. Should I call Coran? Or am I thinking about this too much?”

He was so damn good at that. At his mind jumping to the worst case scenario. He’d always hate that about himself. He needed Shiro. They’d talked a little over lunch, but right now, Shiro was the only one he felt would understand his stupid fears. He loved Garrison, but the house felt so isolated that he felt truly alone. If the world outside had been destroyed, he’d be the last to know. God. He wanted his brother.

Resting his elbows on his knees, his right palm dug into his right eye as he held his phone with his left. The ringing continuing so long that he thought it’d ring out. It must have been the last ring when the call finally connected, Shiro’s voice groggy

“Keith?”

A fresh wave of tears hit. He’d woken his brother up...

“I’m sorry...”

In the background was the rustling of sheets, he picked up on the sound of the switch on Shiro’s lamp flicking on

“Hey, kiddo. What’s going on?”

What wasn’t going on...

“Keith? Hey... What happened? Is it Lance?”

“Shiro... I don’t know what to do”

Kosmo whined softly at his distress. Keith’s right hand moving to hug his best boy close

“I’m sure it’ll be okay. What happened?”

“I... I walked on him feeding... and there was so much blood. He was covered in blood. He wasn’t even... even aware of it. He didn’t remember coming down. I don’t know if he even remembers the party... I put him back to bed, but I don’t know what to do...”

In the background Curtis asked it was Keith, Shiro covering the bottom of his phone as he replied it was. Now he’d gone and disturbed Curtis too

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called...”

“Hey, no. No. You’re my little brother. I want you to rely on me. When you say you walked in on Lance, was he acting differently?”

“It was like he wasn’t even there. No. It was like I wasn’t there... He was so hungry...”

“Did he hurt you?”

“No. The moment he realised I was there he started panicking because he was covered in blood”

“How much blood are we talking about?”

“I threw out 10 bags... well, the remains of 10 bags. He tore into them as if he hadn’t eaten for ages”

In the background he heard Curtis asking for him to put Keith on speaker phone. He wanted to talk to his brother, not so much Curtis

“Hey, Keith. Does Lance have any other symptoms? Any bleeding? Changes in temperature?”

“No. No, I checked...”

“Okay. That’s a really good sign. Let him sleep for now. If his temperature drops or if he develops a fever, then call Coran”

Right. Curtis had originally been Lance’s babysitter. He didn’t doubt Curtis was lying to soothe him, but the curse would have handy right now

“Okay”

“Good. I know you’re worried about him, but he’s honestly better when you’re with him. I’ll let you get back to talking to Shiro, you don’t need me eavesdropping”

Keith instantly felt bad all over again. Shiro the one to the leave the bedroom, instead of Curtis as he told him to go back to sleep. A few moments passed before Keith heard the sounds of Shiro sitting on the sofa

“Sorry, kiddo. You know how much he likes Lance”

“I’m the one who’s sorry... I woke you up”

“Keith, you’re my brother. I’m glad I can here for you. What are you thinking?”

“That I could really use a hug right now”

“Oh, kiddo. This is Lance, he’ll be okay”

“But what if he’s not? He hasn’t been feeling well”

“I’m sure if it was serious he would have gone to Coran...”

“This him, he doesn’t want a fuss...”

Lance was so stupidly pigheaded about his desires not to be fussed over. He’d been so strong... now he was weakened

“Stop letting your head get the better of you”

“I didn’t say anything”

“I know you, kiddo. If he’s not better by the morning, bring him to Garrison. I know you’re going to worry yourself sick, but being there is the best thing you can do for him and your twins”

“Is... am I enough?”

“Keith, you’ll always be enough. He adores you. I might not have approved to begin with, but Lance has proven time and time again that he loves you. I know it’s tough, kiddo, but soon you’ll be father to your twins. You and Lance are going to get through this”

“God, I hope so...”

“You will. Now, get some rest. Lance is going to worry about you if look shitty in the morning”

“Lance always worries”

“Maybe we should get him a trophy for that?”

Keith gave a wet snort. If they were to do that, they’d constantly be trading the damn thing back and forth..

“Let’s not. Shiro... I’m worried for him”

“I know, kiddo. But this is Lance. He’s stronger than he looks. If he’s not better by morning, follow your gut instincts”

“I don’t know what my instincts are saying”

“They’re saying you’ll make the right call. Try to get some sleep”

“Yeah. I will... thanks, Shiro”

“Anytime, kiddo. Let me know it goes?”

“Yeah. I will”

Ending his call with Shiro, Keith tossed his phone to the other end of the sofa. Kosmo patiently sitting, still hugged close

“What do you think I should do?”

Trying to lick at his face, Kosmo wanted pats, not to be giving out life advice

“Yeah. I guess I’ll try get some sleep. The last two days have been a lot”

Training with Lotor. His talk with his mother. Seeing his father again. His talk with Lance. The party. Lance covered in blood. Yeah. He really should go to bed. If anything happened, he’d be there for Lance... hopefully making the right call in waiting until the morning.

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid #ashratherose

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fuckingthefictional · 5 years ago

Text

Cross my heart- Part 5

Warnings: war related violence (death, murder, injuries, PTSD), swearing.

A/N: this was uploaded a while ago but as of now (3rd jan) it deleted itself and I’ve had to try and rewrite it from memory, so apologies if it’s shit.

“Sergeant Fenton, you will report for duty at 0600 hours tomorrow morning.”

“Yes sir. Who will I be with?”

“Solo Mission Sergeant. You will be flying over a suspected German camp across the battlefield. You will either confirm or deny our suspicions by reporting back to us.”

“Yes Sir.”

She hated solo missions, they were about ten times more likely to end in death. She just hoped to any God that may listen that she was kept safe.

“Why’d you have to go?”

“Because they asked me John- I’m not going to be shot up a post for cowardice and disobeying orders”

“Look- just stay safe Liza.”

“I will, you stay safe too- I’ll be back soon I promise.”

She hoped for John’s sake that she did come back soon, even though she had already accepted her own death and was prepared for what was to come.

It was safe to say that she was not prepared for this, a simple flight observation task she was prepared for- but not a crash in German territories.

The atmosphere was seemingly black, as the smoke levitated off of the fiery wreck of the plane.

She was disorientated and in pain. It hurt, her leg was leaking warm thick blood. It painted her hands and stained her flight suit.

Her foot was being pinned down by a heavy piece of the planes’ body, while further up her leg there was a deep gash with some jagged metal buried in it. She’d given up with trying to take it out, as every time she tried it pushed deeper into her flesh.

She didn’t know what to do. She was in enemy land with no way of communicating that she was down. She was as good as dead- but she wasn’t going to go down without a fight. Not if she could help it.

She slowly began to pull her foot from the heavy trap as she bit down on her flight suit to mute her screams of pain.

She felt a release and looked down to see her leg was now free. There was a sense of relief as she shuffled back on her bottom away from the crash site.

Until she felt something hard it her back, something that didn’t feel like a tree. But more resembled a pair of boots and legs, she looked up and towering over her was a soldier.

He’d obviously been the one to investigate the site to see if there was anyone to be found. It was obvious that the German soldier wasn’t expecting to see a girl before him and was apparently in a state of potential shock.

She took the chance while she could, as she took out a pocket knife and plunged it into the mans neck.

She was sprayed in blood. She’d just killed a man- someone who’s parents, siblings, wife and children were probably waiting for to come home. Only for it to be destroyed by her.

She wanted to vomit up her insides, the sight of the older man with dead eyes made her stomach churn uneasily.

But she had to survive. Using her wits, she stripped him of his uniform and swapped hers with his.

She dragged his body to the wreckage and tossed his body into the flames. The fire rose higher with the new sustenance that it had been presented. There- now it looked as if you had died on impact.

47 men. 47 people who were never going to see their families again because of her.

The camp was now eerily quiet and it set her teeth on edge. It was now a ghost town and all life was gone- it was silent.

Her leg was numb now and her head had become woozy from blood loss. She had a few more additions to her list of injuries- a bullet wound here and there, she was in unspeakable pain as she found herself stumbling around as the world before her became disorientated and a mere blur.

But she refused to give up, she thought about Harry and John and how she promised them that she would make it back.

The thoughts of her brother fueled her determination, Harry had always said- when in doubt, trust your gut. So she did.

Scrape. Pat.

The sounds of the shovelling were starting to drive her to a state of insanity. She had been stuck in the German’s tapper tunnel for what felt like a year- but was really only 32 hours.

She threw the soil behind her, as she kept limping forward. Every inch of her ached, it burnt in agony- and all she wanted to do was succumb to the darkness and join the 47 she had murdered.

But she refused, she kept digging as she hoped and prayed for a way out.

Her prayer was answered when she heard muted voices. Pressing her ear up against the compact soil, she concluded that the voices were speaking English.

This only fueled her encouragement, as she begun to dig faster and the dirt walls crumbled away. Finally a dim light enveloped the pitch black that she had been in for all those hours.

She was free.

And then she was thrown against a wall, she struggled against the strong force as her head cracked against a wooden support beam.

She was panicking and this only intensified when she spotted the glint of a silver blade.

She just had time to move her body slightly to the left before the knife plunged into her shoulder. She screamed out in pain.

“I’m fucking English!” She shouted, “Stop!”

The man’s blue eyes had been filled with confusion and frantic frenzy. She could have fucking swore she recognised those eyes.

“Why you wearing a fuckin’ German uniform then?” A different man who was pointing a gun at her head spoke up.

“Look if you go through the tunnel you’ll find 47 dead Germans.” She stammered, “I killed them- there’s also an allies plane, it’s mine I was shot down.”

The men seemed to confer with eachother as they decided to take the trek and see if their ‘captive’ was being truthful.

The next time she woke up she was in a bed, bandages wrapped around various parts of her body.

Her entire body ached and it was only when a nurse entered the room that she realised she was in a hospital room.

The nurse informed her of the injuries she’s had, a shattered kneecap, 3 bullet wounds, a stab wound to the shoulder, and gash in her thigh, a near cracked skull.

And yet the thing that hurt most wasn’t physical, it was the news that she had been honourably discharged from her airforce squadron.

She felt worthless, like all her effort and time that she had invested was just gone.

She had written to John and Harry, explaining what had happened and how she felt unsure of the future.

And then she was shipped off to a rehabilitation centre for recovering soldiers. It was nice to get some time away- where she could learn to walk properly and to heal up.

“What the fuck do you mean?”

“Miss Fenton, please sit down.”

“It’s Sergeant!”

“Sorry, Sergeant Fenton, Please sit down.”

“You’ve taken everything from me!” She cried, “and your biggest issue is that I’m not sat down?”

“We apologise. It just isn’t appropriate to give you an award for your services.”

“My services? It was not my job to become partially disabled and to nearly get killed.” She began to rant, “You said this would be over by Christmas years ago! And here you all are, sat in comfy offices. As we’re fighting for our country and laying down our lives only to you not giving give a shit!”

“That is enough!”

“It is the fucking truth- and you would be shot for cowardice!”

“We are going to ask you to leave.”

“Gladly!”

It was the letter that arrived two weeks later, that letter was the needle that broke the horses back- the letter that informed her that Thomas Shelby, her saviour, had received extra medals for her services.

Harry woke up to the screams again, Eliza wasn’t coping at all. And it broke his spirit to see his little sister struggle like this.

Eliza was beginning to lose sleep as well, she was beginning to lose her functioning side of logic.

That became apparent when John ordered a drink at the bar and it was apparent that Eliza had not heard him.

“Liza?” John waved his hand in front of her face.

Eliza finally came back into the present. It was obvious that she wasn’t sleeping well as the dark circles under her eyes popped out and the pale shade of her skin made her look ill.

“You look shit.” John said bluntly

“I can’t do this anymore- I’m not sleeping, I’m barely functioning.” She began to tear up.

John took her out from behind the bar and took her to the private room, so that his friend could cry in her own space.

She sobbed as John held her frame, he put her on his lap as he rocked them both in an attempt to calm Eliza down. It barely worked but soon enough her heavy sobs were replaced with quiet sniffles.

“Talk to me Liza.”

“It’s Tommy- I’m falling for him and I can’t stop myself.” She sighed and rubbed her face, “but the fucking history between us.”

“What history El?”

She began to unbutton her blouse as she pulled down the fabric to show the old stab wound that ran along the junction between her shoulder and collarbone - It was long and jagged and it stood out against the milky skin.

“He was the one in the tunnel that night, the one who attacked and stabbed me.” She shook violently, “I’m falling for him but every time I look into his damn eyes all I can see is the knife and the pain.”

John just kissed her head, as his own tears began to spike at his eyes.

The door flung open, Eliza didn’t realise how wrong the position they were in looked. What with her hair messy and her button undone all while being sat on John’s lap.

It became even worse when she realised who had just walked in. It was Tommy. He looks furious and betrayed.

“So this is why we couldn’t be together Aye?” He spat, “Because you’re whoring around with me brother. You’re a fuckin’ slag Eliza.” He turned and left as Eliza frantically scrambled to her feet in an attempt to explain.

But it was too late, he had left.

She’d added another injury to her list in that moment- fucking heartbreak.

#cross my heart #tommy shelby x oc #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby #thomas shelby #thomas shelby x oc #thomas shelby x reader #Peaky Blinders #PeakyBlinders #peaky fookin blinders

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early-sxnsets · 6 years ago

Text

No Wait Unblock Me

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215168/chapters/43133210

Chapter 2/10 of It’s A Handheld Disaster

Word Count: 1580

Chapter Summary: Simon and Baz finally get to "mutuals" status.

BAZ

For the third time today, I see a similar notification slide through my drop down.

bi-sammy sent you a picture

Part of me initially wants to sigh, roll my eyes, and swipe it away, because apparently part of me wishes to be alone for the rest of my life. Thankfully, the reasonable, tiny sliver of my mind makes sure I don’t make such a mistake.

Given the situation, one would think we’d parted ways. He makes a post, we stop the argument, all is fair in fandom and war. Except, now I believe Snow has grown under an impression that after one exchange, it qualifies us for somewhat of a friendship, and therefore reason to send me memes. Don’t get me wrong, memes are a fantastic waste of time and barely a waste of energy, but it’s strange that he’s not fucking off like most people.

Maybe I’m used to others being scared of me.

Maybe I’m used to others following my tactics of scaring them away.

Whatever I’ve done hasn’t worked, since this arse is immune to my attempts at coldness and mild animosity. I’m starting to suspect there’s something genuinely wrong with him, like he doesn’t get enough love and attention.

Guess that makes two of us.

I guess I somewhat crave this friendship. I’ll speak the truth to that and say yes, I smile when his memes pop up. They’re almost always fandom, and definitely made on Photoshop. This one, I see as I tap and let it load, is the crudely drawn Kirby graphic shoving burgers into his mouth, but over Kirby is photoshopped a picture of Huxley’s face and the burgers are Sam's ass.

It’s all poorly done and, sadly, extremely endearing.

My thumbs hover over my keyboard, cheeks creasing as I stare down at the picture. I lay back against my pillows, the curtains drawn and my hair pulled out of my face. It’s quite lonely; my life’s a sterile mixture of quarantined education and age old settled dust in my ancient room. It’s nice to have his somewhat obnoxious messages pop onto my screen, but it feels so odd. So foreign, and barely understood.

I want to understand.

gaystrell: why are you still messaging me?

I get an answer not even a minute later.

bi-sammy: do you want me to stop?

I don’t even hesitate to send out a reply, feeling a steadily growing lump in my throat, choking me mindless.

gaystrell: no.

bi-sammy: then why did you ask?

gaystrell: i just

gaystrell: don’t get it

bi-sammy: get what?

gaystrell: why you’d want to talk to me

bi-sammy: because youre cool

gaystrell: vexing me won’t get you “street cred”, if that’s what you’re after

bi-sammy: shit no wait that’s not what i meant

bi-sammy: dont block me fukc wait

bi-sammy: id just meant that you wrote all that shit and i thought it was really cool and

bi-sammy: i dont know

bi-sammy: i thought we could be friends since you did all that

bi-sammy: ill stop if you want me to

gaystrell: calm down you’re clogging my notifs

gaystrell: do that again and i /will/ block you

gaystrell: but………. if you actually do want to be friends i suppose i’m willing to give forth a little attention

bi-sammy: im osrry i dont speak posh cunt

gaystrell: too bad, blocked

bi-sammy: no wait unblock me

gaystrell: fine last chance

bi-sammy: bitch

gaystrell: b l o c k e d

bi-sammy: no but,,,,,,, i do want to be friends

I’m smiling like a fucking loon, scrolling through our brief exchange. It’s strange. Most people aren’t upfront about wanting to talk, or wanting someone to talk with. Wanting a friend, even. I have the people follow me and ask me questions, and of that only a small handful of those who actually interact eith me (and even in that, we usually only speak to give each other a helping hand).

And despite that, here’s someone who wants to try.

I suck my lower lip into my mouth, trying to think of my course of actions.

There’s a simple one I can take now (and probably should’ve taken as an initiative). I click his icon, and click “Follow” on his page.

It doesn’t take very long before I get a notification come through, starting that he mentioned me in a post.

It isn’t very long, but it gets its point across in the best way possible. It’s just a mobile screenshot, reading “gaystrell started following bi-sammy” with a quick caption.

god himself entered the groupchat. how do i block him?

SIMON

I wonder what it’d be like to see me in the moment. It’s a real shame Penn wasn’t around to capture it, since I’m in the middle of French class, but I must’ve smiled so stupidly that it caught the attention of the professor. He gave me a stern look until I set down my mobile.

The moment he turned away, I opened it back up and grinned.

At first, I didn’t believe what I was seeing. Him. Following me.

Us. Mutuals. Mutuals.

Of course I had to screenshot and post as a brag (barely humble, more metaphorically sucking my own knob for all my followers to see). Nobody really cares, as expected.

Well, nobody except the single message from none other than Mr. Bitch.

gaystrell: blocked. unfollowed. reported. waste of space.

My smile creases back my cheeks as they flush pink. I send back a quick message before turning my mobile over, foot tapping double the speed of the analogue on the wall.

bi-sammy: ;)

BAZ

He winked. Interesting.

I’m out of breath.

Fuck?

I lay my phone flat away from me, face down as I squint at my wall. I should respond in a composed fashion. I have to be clever, and not one-upping him is never an option. After all, does this qualify as flirting? Friendly banter? What am I doing with this random fucking bloke that I don’t even have a face to put to?

He’s my age. Roughly. Yes?

I check his tumblr again, as if I hadn’t just read his bio earlier.

simon // he/him // 17 // hold my fucking hand (please)

Maybe he’s just straight and I’m misreading it. Yes. Probably. Aren’t most people straight? Is that still a fact? (I highly doubt it, given how boring that must be.) But he winked at me. Somewhat prompted, I’ll give him that, but it was still a fucking wink.

I wink in texts to Dev and Niall too, though, but that’s different, isn’t it? I’d never snog either of them (especially fucking Dev), but hey. If unfaced internet boy asked for a snog, would I?

I’m too wrapped up and starved for human interaction to properly deal with this.

gaystrell: i will carry on with my threats, snow

There it is. Perfectly biting, while not being entirely rejecting. Maybe I’m better at this than I thought.

Or, perhaps, I’m worse, because even an hour and a half after sending the text, he’s silent.

I remind myself every few minutes that he most likely attends an actual school and has classes, but it makes my chest ache in the most unfair way every time my mobile tempts me with an unrelated notification.

I work myself to the point of moping down in the kitchen, slumping against the fridge whilst watching Vera make tea. She’s relatively silent, knowing better than anybody to leave me to sulk.

“You’re a drama queen,” she tuts, looking over me. Granted, I dress like a slob and borderline haunt this godforsaken mansion, but I feel as though that makes me entitled to being the way I am.

“I’m lonely,” I sigh, head resting against the fridge. It hums beside me, the chromed metal cooling my cheek. “Am I not granted a dramatic spell every now and then?”

“Not unprovoked.”

I set a hand against the handle, then let it drop. I’m not hungry. “What if it was provoked?”

“Is it?”

Instinctively, I pull out my phone and click it on. Nothing. “Perhaps.”

Vera frowns at me, walking over and setting a hand on my arm. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?”

My eyes slowly roll as I push myself off the appliance, standing upright. “Physically, yes. Don’t fuss. It’s just… online shit.”

“You spend too much time on the phone,” she sighs, letting go and going back to the tea as she fixes me a mug. “Don’t you think you’d be happier to disconnect from social media for a day or two? Go on a walk, see nature?”

I snort, looking outside. “And what? Trip and bust open my knee? That’d wind me back up in care for at least a few days.”

“You act like you’re made of paper and glass.” She offers over my mug, letting my fingers wind around the handle before she shakes her head.

“I might as well be,” I huff down before thanking her and blowing on my tea.

Once I leave back up to my room, I realise it's somehow more depressing in here over the kitchen with Vera’s disapproval of technology rantings. At least she’s some sort of company.

As I’m sipping my tea, I go back to scrolling on my laptop as a notif pops up, jarring me with the sound but letting me breathe again.

bi-sammy: why do you know my last name smh

I exhale slowly, smiling to myself.

gaystrell: you commented on my google doc, you idiot

#carry on #fanfiction #fanfic #snowbaz #fic #mine #it's a handheld disaster #simon snow #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #tyrannus basilton grimm-pitch #baz pitch #simon #baz #wow look at me #updating once a day #wowwie

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designyouruniverse-studyblr · 6 years ago

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Tagging game!

I was tagged by the lovely @jas-is-smiling, thank you! Sorry for the late reply, I was busy having a study-free weekend to recover from the busy past two weeks.

Rules: answer twenty one questions and then tag twenty one blogs you'd like to know better

Nickname? : Tan, Tani or sometimes Vanth (that's my gamer alias)

Starsign? : Cancer

Height?: 171 cm, I think that's about 5'7"? (have mercy, I don't know)

Last film I saw: I think it was "Meg". It was a cool film although I was frustrated by the stupidity of some characters.

Favourite musician?: This is really hard to answer because my music taste is quite broad and there are many inspiring musicians. I'll name some bands: Probably my favourite band is MaYaN. They have incredibly skilled artists, Marcela is my favourite singer and they are incredibly kind towards fans. Other bands I love are Unleash the Archers, Carach Angren, Septicflesh and Furia. I made some concert photos in december and Furia was amongst those bands I was taking photos of. They impressed me with their skills! As you can see...i'm a huge music addict fan!

Song stuck in my head: bohemian rhapsody, it's such a masterpiece (shame on me I didn't see the film yet)

Other blogs? I have this blog as a side blog. My main blog is sort of a rant, diary thing which I started a few years ago when I was struggling with mental illness. I'm afraid that my main blog is somehow toxic, so if you want to know about it, please text me. I won't publish it here as I don't want to trigger anyone.

Do I get asks? Not really, probably because my studyblr is quite new with little followers. I do see the reblogs however and I appreciate it very much!

A thing I want to add in this context: This blog is not made in interest of followers. I made it to be a part of the community which I enjoyed for a while already. It also helps me to become motivated.

Blogs following?: Around 250, lots of them are unactive. I should declutter.

What am I wearing? A full on grey, comfy outfit. Warm and soft leggings, oversized hoodie and warm and soft socks

Dream job? I want to work in the Creative Media and Game industry. What exactly is something I'll have to decide later on. Probably Game artist and in doing Character designs, animations, etc. Another thing I would love to do more professionally is photography. Maybe I'll be a fire artist officially later, for now that's too expensive.

Dream trip? Two years ago I planned an internship in Reykjavik, Iceland. Due to some unforseen issues this was cancelled and I would love to go there someday anyway. In general, i would love to explore the north. Croatia and Thailand are also places I would like to go.

Play any instruments? I play the piano for quite a time now. I started it as a kid but I absolutely hated my teacher and I stopped. After I stopped I tried to teach myself to play the guitar, I also tried learning to scream/grunt. Both didn't work out and a few years ago I picked up playing the piano again. I got an other teacher and now I'm enjoying it so much! As he is blind I'm not forced to read notes, I learn to play songs by hearing and seeing. This works way better for me and I love doing it this way. I just finished learning how to play Bohemian Rhapsody. Sadly I do not have a lot of time to practice since I started my study and I also had to stop taking the lessons.

Languages? I was born in the Netherlands but I grew up in Germany, so i'm a native dutch and german speaker. My English is quite fluent. I learned french for 4 years and I was not bad at it, but I never used it so I forgot almost everything. I also learned latin but due to my mental issues at that time I missed most of the lessons and failed.

Favorite food: So many! I love asian food and of course pizza, fries and all the other unhealthy stuff. The only thing I really don't like are sea foods and brussel sprouts.

Favorite songs? Pisces by Jinjer; Tornado of Thoughts by MaYaN; Dhyana by MaYaN; Any other song by MaYaN tbh; Design Your Universe by Epica (inspiration for my url, I could write an essay about this song); Confessions of a Serial Killer by Septicflesh; Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen (ofc); Anubis by Septicflesh; The Moth by Death Angel

I'll stop now, sorry

Random Facts:

I learned to play Super Smash Bros properly today

I'm to lazy to buy a bike so I just walk everywhere now

I tried to redraw the awesome art of cheryl jowen, she saw it on Instagram and actually complimented me. I'm so happy about it!

Although i'm studying Game Design now, I didn't grow up playing games

I tag: @moonstarbujo @cafe-studyy @milkteastudies @a-studying-cactus @thekingsstudy @tyypewriter @astraeuzz @sophiespsychstudies and anyone else who feels like doing this!

#tagging game #Student #Studyblr #studyblrcommunity #study inspiration

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pavspatch · 5 years ago

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My Love-hate Relationship With the Boys at Bower Fold

FOR my final Friday Throwback I’m taking a look at my relationship with the one club I haven’t covered so far: Stalybridge Celtic. And then, seeing as the season would be over by now, I’m going to take my summer break (I’m assuming no one will be sacked or resign).

I hope you’ve found my lockdown stories, interesting, informative and they’ve even given you the odd laugh. Fingers crossed that football returns (fairly) soon. Stay healthy everyone.

I SUPPOSE it was inevitable I’d have a rocky relationship with Stalybridge Celtic once I became the local sports editor.

While everyone outside Bower Fold considered my predecessor, Martyn Torr, as biased towards the Bridge, a lot of people, and possibly everyone inside Bower Fold, was convinced I’d be biased towards Hyde United.

That was never the intention. As a professional journalist my plan was give all clubs a fair crack of the whip while concentrating on the major stories. I did my level best to do that, but there were at least a couple of occasions when the Celtic faithful were screaming for my blood. Neither, I might add, was my fault although I had to take the stick.

The first occurred in the spring of 1992 when Stalybridge won the NPL championship. In the days leading up to the game in which they clinched the title, I learned that there would be some colour page in the relevant edition.

It was a rare treat indeed in those monochrome days and I spent quite a lot of time imagining a back page with a huge team picture or shot of the captain holding up the trophy. Fans loved photos like that and whenever there was a big game we’d do a picture special. Colour would surely give sales a huge boost.

Sadly, I had reckoned without our bumbling advertising department. They had made some sort of cock-up, so to apologise they wanted to put two enormous ads on the back page of all places. All I would get to cover the first Tameside NPL championship since Mossley in 1980 was a tiny area in the top left-hand corner.

What irked me more was that the paper had such a low opinion of sport, its biggest selling point. It was pointless approaching the editor because he was no lover of sport and his motto was “don’t rock the boat”.

Every Tuesday a hapless advertising executive called Brian Hart would be sent up with the paper’s size for that week — there had to be a certain ads-to-news ratio and we didn’t sell many ads — and invariably it meant fewer news pages than had been originally.

The editor would then explode and pepper the air with four-letter words for a minute or two. Calm would eventually descend, and after some seconds of silence, Brian would quietly ask “all right?” Boom! Off would go the editor again. But for all his anger and effing and jeffing he always gave in. Work would be ripped up and he’d start again.

My only option was to speak to the managing director. I explained that there was a huge story and if I failed to cover it properly on the back page I would be accused of anti-Stalybridge Celtic bias. He allowed me to remove the masthead which at least gave me space to publish a picture with a headline. Then I went big on the inside-back.

It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair. In fact it was downright bad business. But I had to live with it. Of course, there were more than a few people who insisted I’d done it on purpose.

I wish I could say it was the only time something like that happened. But in 1997, when Glossop won the Manchester Premier Cup at Old Trafford, the printers bungled and the East Manchester back page was mistakenly put on the Glossop edition. Instead of reading about their victory at the Theatre of Dreams, North End fans were told the ins and outs of the Gorton League. Apart from me, no one in the building cared.

For the next incident, let’s fast-forward a year to Celtic signing Ian Arnold from Kettering Town for £15,000, an amount that remains a club record transfer fee.

Martyn Torr, who was then secretary at Bower Fold, had told me all about it so I was expecting an easier week. Big story, written for me, all I had to do was put it into place as the lead on the back page. But of course it wasn’t the expected, but the unexpected, that happened.

It was a different editor by this point and he had an even lower opinion of sport. He took absolutely no interest in my work but this particular week announced that the back pages had to be completed by Monday afternoon. There was no reason for this, and it never happened again, but this time the back pages had to be out before I’d had time to ring everyone.

Of course the one person I did ring was Martyn — time and time again. I desperately tried to get that story but with no success. All I could do was flag the signing and put a big article inside.

Well to say the Celtic faithful were unhappy would be an understatement, and of course I’d relegated their record transfer deal to a less prominent page out of sheer vinctiveness.

Peter Barnes, then the Bridge chairman, rang to say he was withdrawing all his club’s advertising from the paper which, I think, was zero in any case. There were angry letters and articles in Bower Bulletin. Even my old friend Keith Trudgeon accused me of unacceptable behaviour.

Then the editor ordered me to call Jack Thornley, a Celtic-supporting solicitor, to apologise for what I’d done. Despite several attempts I could never get him which was probably as well because he had a thorough dislike of me. Years later, when I came across him Walker Wilkinson’s butcher’s shop on Melbourne Street, Stalybridge, he refused to speak to me and turned his back.

In a way I was in the middle, powerless, while the fuss swirled around me and then, suddenly, my bosses changed their minds. After an angry letter from Pete Barnes, the managing director came to me and said: “Will you please tell the Stalybridge chairman that this is my effing paper and I decide what goes in it.” Even the editor, a horrible man, became vaguely supportive.

But none of it had ever needed to happen. What got into the bigwigs that week I have absolutely no idea. Then again, when I first became sports editor I can remember being approached on a Friday and angrily asked why I hadn’t got any pages away. “Because there’s been no sport yet,” I replied. Seemed obvious to me. I got a contemptuous snort in response.

Stalybridge also caused me to do one of my more memorable post-match interviews. I never got to broadcast it, but it ranks up there with Simon Haworth’s description of the atmosphere at Bower Fold as toxic and Eamonn O’Keefe telling me the real reason he fled the Al-Hilal club in Saudi Arabia. In all three cases I was left with my eyes wide open with amazement thinking “wow”.

I don’t remember the exact date, but it was after a game at the Butchers Arms in the days when Bloods manager Dave Pace loved to inject a bit of gunpowder into the air by making some barmy statement such as Celtic would be relegated by Christmas. He’s quietened down a lot in recent times but he used to relish playing the pantomime villain.

The match proved an ill-tempered affair. Celtic went two-up, then the Bloods came back to draw. In the meantime, the referee gave Dave a red card.

At the final whistle, more than a few people asked me if I was mad as I prepared to approach Dave with my Zoom recorder. I must admit, I prefer to speak to a manager when they’ve calmed down, not right after a game, but you have a job to do.

After a few opening comments, and congratulations on a great fightback, I meekly ventured the question: “Do you think it might be wiser not to wind up the opposition before big games like this?”

I didn’t realise I’d lit the blue touchpaper, and that meant I had no chance to retire. I was right then when Dave exploded. Guy Fawkes would have been proud.

“Big game? Big game? This wasn’t a big game. A big game to me is when we play a Football League club like Chesterfield, Darlington or Leyton Orient. Playing Stalybridge Celtic isn’t a big game.”

On and on he went. Reminiscent of Inspector Blake in “On the Buses” he hated Stalybridge Celtic. He hated Stalybridge. I’m not entirely certain he didn’t want the entire town wiped off the map.

When he’d finished, I stood there blinking for a few moments, then turned unsteadily and started to look for the Bridge boss. But I’d only gone a footstep or two when I felt a hand on my arm. It was Dave. Rant over, he’d calmed down and looked apologetic. “Do you mind if we do that again?” he asked. I was happy to comply. Behind the mask he’s a really decent bloke.

Generally, I’ve got on well with the Stalybridge managers. Jim Harvey never wanted to talk but I think that applied to anyone from the media. All the others were fine.

And when you think of Celtic bosses, with all due respect to the many I’ve known including Pete O’Brien, Phil Wilson, Kev Keelan and indeed the present incumbent, Simon Haworth, my mind always goes to Peter Wragg.

One sunny summer’s day he summoned me to Bower Fold — managers used to do that sort of thing — and I walked up there through Cheetham’s Park. Wraggy wanted me to write something to cool the supporters’ expectations. After an unbelievable comeback the previous season, when they won game after game after looking certain to be relegated from the Conference, he was worried the fans were becoming unrealistic in their expectations. He wanted them to be made to realise the new season would be another fight for survival not promotion.

When I got to Bower Fold I was met by Martyn Torr and given a tour of the new facilities. We then walked out to look at the pitch where Wraggy was either mowing or rolling.

“What do you think?” he shouted to me. “Very impressive,” I called back. “Yeh, great out there,” he replied. “Just crap on here.”

Wraggy at his best.

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therealdragonnerdagain · 8 years ago

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I can't remember if I said this before or not, so I'll say it now.

Cullen's original depiction in DAO and DA2 when he just fucking snapped and killed people? It WAS realistic.

When I said that last year or the year before or whenever, I lacked the articulation to really say why. Ironically enough, I was on debilitating medication that made it difficult to communicate here and properly express myself, which led to people accusing me of abelism and racism and all this nonsense (lofuckingl).

But now that I'm off the lyrium meds, free from the symptoms of bipolar, and clear minded, I'm gonna explain why Cullen's portrayal pre-Inquisition was more realistic. And please read this entire thing before foaming at the mouth and attacking me with childish insults.

In Dragon Age Origins, Cullen has a mental break and kills six mages. It's realistic that this would have happened to him -- not simply because he was suffering mental anguish -- but because he was probably groomed to snap.

Think of the environment the Circle was at the time. People already hated mages. The surviving templars would have been pretty pissed at mages and constantly going on about how dangerous they were and how they deserved to die and how Uldred's snapping "proved" that mages should be locked up, killed, and lobotomized.

(to see my rants about Uldred's justifiable anger and unjustifiable but understandable terrorist act, search for the tag "origins rant" or just search "uldred" here on my blog)

After the Warden concludes The Broken Circle, Cullen is mentally disturbed and mentally exhausted by the events there, and finds himself surrounded 24/7 by the sort of people who would only ENCOURAGE his hatred and paranoia for magic. It's like being a disturbed Civil War vet and having anti-black people constantly around who encourage you to hate blacks while you are already in a frail state of mind. Such a person might snap and kill some black people in a church or something. It's happened. Look it up.

So Cullen is in a shitty environment where other templars encourage his anger. Gregoir realizes Cullen needs real help and needs to get away from other templars, who are letting recent events fuel their prejudice. Gregoir sends Cullen to a chantry to recuperate, thinking the quiet time away from his fellow angry and embittered templars would help him.

Of course, this doesn't help Cullen either. The chantry constantly preaches against magic and constantly demonizes mages as awful, depraved, and dangerous. If anything, Cullen's sickness is going to deepen, not heal. The chantry would only encourage Cullen's hatred of mages, not guide him back to reality and teach him that mages are people and that maybe the mages wouldn’t have rebelled if there was nothing to rebel about.

After the Chantry consoles Cullen that his hate for mages is justified, Cullen is packed off to Kirkwall, where Hawke can find him in a calm but still very prejudiced state in regards to mages.

On the outside, Cullen seems very put together, but there are moments when the cracks bleed through, showing that he's not *really* recovered. When Hawke first meets Cullen, it's like walking up on a scene of police brutality. Hawke can even crack a joke that Cullen is out of his fucking mind. Of course, the mage Cullen beats to a pulp is possessed, so Cullen's brutality is immediately justified, but for someone who's paying attention, it's pretty obvious that Cullen is still very sick and hasn't gotten the help he needs.

Cullen even goes on to tell Hawke to her face -- even mage!Hawke -- that mages are not people but weapons. He is a sick individual in need of help and admits as much later in DAI when he discusses the events of DA2.

Fast forward to DAI. The developers have noticed Cullen's mass following and decide to cash in on female gamers' desire to be the one to finally help Cullen heal. So they write a cheesy, unrealistic story about Cullen working through his drug addiction and prejudice seemingly overnight -- after years of listening to people tell him mages are scum, he now believes otherwise, even if he still thinks mages should be locked away, stripped of all humanity, lobotomized, and used like tools in every war.

Cullen loves mage!Inquisitor but all other mages are scum who should be locked away. Again, the same way racist Solas makes an exception for Lavellan, this is beyond Twilight levels of toxic.

It is also unrealistic that Cullen -- after being shown as sinking into a downward spiral of addiction and hatred for TEN YEARS -- would leap overnight from being a sick, bitter, and prejudiced individual to being a soft puppy dog for the female gamers to magically save. It was . .. . (wait for it) . . .

BAD WRITING.

That being said, I still enjoyed Cullen for what he brought to Inquisition. I’ve said in the past that he was one of the few characters who actually felt like the Inquisitor’s friend to me and not a worshiper. But as much as I did enjoy having him in the game, I still had problems with his writing. Because I’m a writer and I love the craft to be executed well, even in a video game.

Honestly, how elitist is it to pretend video games can’t have good writing? Bioware has shown that they can have good writing. So when they fail in that regard, it shows. Or at least it does to me, a person who doesn’t worship a fictional character to the point that I must attack others with less than positive opinions about him.

And to attack someone with insults because they don't agree that Cullen is perfect is really shity and childish. Oh the irony of people defending Cullen as a mentally ill man by attacking a MENTALLY ILL PERSON who, at the time, had difficulty expressing herself.

When I wrote my original Cullen posts, I was just eager to be a part of the discussion with other Dragon Age fans. I did not set out to hurt anyone or offend anyone, and I did not deserve all the scorn that was heaped on me for failing to properly articulate my opinions. So fuck all of you.

Every time I think of Cullen, though, I think of the men with PTSD who I knew while I was living in a military rest home. And I know Dragon Age did REAL people with PTSD a disservice by failing to give Cullen a proper arc and instead using him to cash in on fangirls.

Loghain, another character with PTSD, actually had a proper arc. Cullen did not because Bioware wanted to milk fangirls for cash.

That's my opinion. And if you don't like it, kiss my black motherfucking ass.

#cullen critical #cullen rant #bioware critical #tel'abelas #origins rant

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grimreapersbongwater-blog · 8 years ago

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here's a rant someone might never read, and probably especially not the person i wish would read this: it's hard sleeping, it seems so silly to be so hung up on someone i only dated for almost 2 months (today is our anniversary today btw, but only for about 10 more minutes) when some people have it so much worse, losing people they've been with for years, but i just can't stop thinking, about you, about what happened, about all the things i wish i would have said before you had to go, about your face and the way you spoke and fucking everything, the fact i never got to hear the song you wrote me, and you may never end up seeing the piece of art i made for you; your face is in my dreams sometimes, when i fall asleep, of course (one night i had one where i was holding your hand and crying while you told me goodbye and it felt so real i was crying when i woke up). i felt so comfortable with you. i knew i'd love you from that moment i heard you playing that teen suicide song, and i was scared of my interest (things never work for me), but somehow i grew balls and followed you, and then you texted me, and ended up liking me, and so on, and i fell in love with everything about you, im still stuck in love with you, i can't push myself out of it, as hard as i keep fucking trying. btw, i still haven't taken the acid you sent me, im too nervous, although im thinking about taking it later tonight. i'm sure you've gotten fucked up a lot bc i would too if i could. what's really fucked up is i don't even know if you feel the same about all this, i mean part of me believes you do, that you're just as utterly heartbroken, but i don't know, im so easily paranoid, and you cut me off so abruptly and i didn't know what to do with myself at all at first, im figuring it out i think, but the thought of having to be with anyone else repulses me, even though i know logically nobody can really do anything about this situation and ill probably have to be with someone else eventually (although the idea of becoming asexual crossed my mind).. i could never let myself make you lose your job, that's why i haven't texted you all this, along with the fear that you hate my guts and that a text from me, that pathetic 15 year old you dated would be laugh worthy for you (i saw you in the back of a pic with a girl laying on you and that made me jealous but you're not mine anymore).. i wish you had talked to me more before you said goodbye, i wish i could have said how much i love you, i love you so fucking much it hurts me, and i didn't even realize just how much i needed you until that moment you told me it was goodbye, that moment it was over, the moment i realized that life without you is empty, you're my best friend and the most amazing person i know even though you never believed it, i wish the world wasn't this fucking sick, i thought about waiting until i turn 16 and saying hi, but you'll have forgotten about me by then probably. i also wonder if it's ok for me to tell you happy birthday? god part of me so badly wishes youre reading this rn. but then again id feel so embarrassed and like i've failed you if you did read all this... i don't want to be your burden, i don't want anybody to hurt more than necessary, i hate that something so fucking trivial as a couple of years difference in the times we were born could rip us apart. it's bullshit. i have to just accept that things happen, and that it's nobody's fault for the ending of us, and as much as i fucking adore you i might just need to let go of you. but if somehow you do read this, i wish so badly that i could just talk to you. i want to say goodbye properly, i want to say all the things i need to say to make it easier for both of us, so please (i wanted to call you baby right here) just text me. or call me. or skype me. anything, id do anything to see your face or hear your voice or just to talk to you again, even if it would have to be for the last time, and to know you'll be ok, although im probably insane and you will never read this in your life, and i'll go the rest of my life never speaking to you again. (lol did any of this make sense even? im pretty sure i missed some things actually but this is a lot to read already so)

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