#ill probably do another one but idk
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atla!au designs part 3 !! one of these things is uh. not like the others
first year trio gojo/choso/nanami
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#jjk atla!au#geto suguru#yuta okkotsu#mahito#lmhs#atla!au: design#squints at mahito i think i might b trying a bit too hard fr preliminary designs.......#they keep getting progressively more detailed OOPS#atla!au: art#i feel like no one will complain tho so ! anywayyyyy#thank u hisuian zoroark fr ur weird hair n bad posture. stole that 2 put on this freak n gave him some soul orb hair ties#idk if his design adheres very faithfully to anything that can be considered atla canon....but i like it so much ok sue me#i would unironically like mahito more if he looked like this#let him lean more Monster.......pl..pls.......#dont dig too deep into that statement . anyway.#this whole page is full of chars i just Never draw but i dont have a least favourite here ???? all of them look rly good imo??#waterbender garb suits geto's design so well he gave me No trouble#yuuta on th other hand i was Concerned for on account of th aforementioned Orange on a very monochrome char in jjk canon#but i think i made it work? he looks great in th tattoos also??????#maybe th rumors r true and im good at what i do GHFGHGHL#(oh ya after mahito i didnt want to draw Another monster-spirit so i omitted rika but she exists. probably looks similar 2 canon also!)#(sighs ill deal w her later. priorities !!!!)
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thinking about mafia shen family au. the system is fucking around with shen qingqius life again and is like yk what if ur not gonna tell your husband anything about yourself then ill force you to. have fun! :D
sqq doesn’t even have the time to think 'wtfff??' before Everything Happens. shen yuan’s soul gets shoved back into his original body just moments before he dies. in this version of the au he was choking on food, so he gets the lovely experience of having his airflow blocked again! lucky for him, the system dragged binghe along for the ride so he is saved before he dies again.
this route for mafia au means that the shen family never had to grieve shen yuan. im not sure how the Family reacts to their a-yuan suddenly having a very strong and intimidating significant other (boyfriend? husband?!??? wdym he got married without telling us!?!?) all of a sudden. does shen yuan come out to his family?? no, but also yes, but also not really. they knew he wasn't straight this entire time, so its more like they are coming out to him instead of the other way around. god knows they have bigger skeletons in their closets, they don't care if a twink is in there too.
there is less angst here, and it mostly centers around the comedic factor of shen yuan showing binghe around his house only for them to "stumble upon" an entire closet filled with guns..!?! shen yuan is just standing there in complete horror as binghe grabs a whole ass ar-15!?!?? hes looking at him with the most innocent eyes asking him what this strange metal object is. jesus fucking christ. his white lotus is holding a gun and now he has to explain gun control policies while his brain is leaking out of his ears. he opens his mouth right before an alarm starts blaring everywhere. he’s saved by the bell! except not really, because now six members of his Family are surrounding them and pointing several guns at binghe!!!!! what the actual fuck is going on here!!!!!! this is not how the 'meet the parents' arc is supposed to go!!
#⚙️#im gonna name this route#bingqiu shen family mafia au#because i want to write the binggeyuan version#and i wanna specify which mafia aus im talking about when i post. i cant make up my mind on where i want to take this lol#shen yuan mafia au#the 'closet' was actually very well hidden with several different mechanisms locking it away#im sure sy also had to do a finger scan to open it#and he didnt think much about it because 'all the other doors in his house have locks like that!' its no big deal if we open this one#he showed binghe around to all of the secret spots in his family home where he would hide. and one of those spots happened to be a safe roo#that had a closet full of snacks + warm blankets + and several sets of spare clothes to change into#he never knew that there was another door behind all those coats! wow his house has so many cool features in it!#DA GE WHY DO WE OWN SO MANY GUNS WTF#THIS ISNT AMERICA?????????????#BTW the Family thinks that binghe is probably a spy or smth and preying on sy to get to the Family. that might be important to mention. idk#svsss#svsss au#shen yuan#luo binghe#even tho hes barely mentioned... sorry lbh ill expand on your role here later...#scumbag self saving system#scumbag system#mxtx svsss#svsss luo binghe#bingqiu#its there if u squint#i am the system in this case#i want to put sy into so many Situations™️#svsss shen yuan
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Haha wow apparently all it takes to get my inspiration back for writing is a man who activates my praise kink mid battle and a spicy dream
#lucanis dellamorte#rookanis#more elaboration cause its 2 am and i cant actually qrite yet im too eepy#au based around monster by lady gaga dont ask how it happens ill figure it out but for whatever reason lucanis has to do the seducing#maybe something like rook is a royal servant and lucanis is on some contract with illario and illario is incapacitated#or even seducing another servant himself#idk maybe the royal has a lot of locks on his door and they need both keys#EITHER WAY#au cause spite is already there#maybe modern maybe just minor intro edits not sure yet#and maybe theres already some sorta chemistry going on and oops lucanis doesnt really do this whole seducing thing very often#and maybe rook just has a way bigger alcohol tolerance than he does and he got in over his head but whatever it is#spite takes it upon himself to see what this whole sex thing illario keeps joking about and the wine is just enough that lucanis doesnt stop#him and what does it matter theyre just a pawn in a contract for a place he wont likely ever have to return#theyll never see eachother again#or maybe spite just outright tells him to fuck off and hes too drunk to do anything about it#gotta thjnk about the characterization more but SOMEHOW he and spite!lucanis sleep together#get super hot and heavy and rought and one night stand-y u know the drill#and the next day lucanis is gone like a bat out of hell and rook wakes up free from this shitty royal#and they run into varric while begging or searchjng for a replacement job bc just bc their boss was an absolute dick#he still payed the bills and theyre kinda fucked without him#and then bing bang boom adventures solas dagger minrathous we all know the drill#havent thought about if lucanis should be in the ossuary or not but if he is probably a plot to recapture him for zara#that illario helps with#either way all of a sudden this little servant with the delicate hands and unscathed skin is in front of him again#and suddenly theyre not so little#hands calloused and skin marred with scars from all theyve gone through since then#and he was never meant to see them again but here they are and they dont seem to remember him so maybe its fine#but then as they introduce themselves he notices their hand as it subconscious rubs against an unimistakeable scar of His bite mark from#that night and oh fuck they know its him and i have no more tags so tdlr lots of dancing around that fact for a long time cause theyre silly
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Marshplebow-er calling out to all Knickle-heads. I bestow upon you a gift for your ship playlists: my collection of romance ghost songs. Here is one of my FAVORITES
#ill put them all in a playlist Maybe Probably Eventually uhmmmm but this is one of the BEST guys#im actually rlly happy theres another ghost to ship now i rlly do like sharing my interest in ghost ships!!!!!#knickle#i. i guess. idk#Spotify
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Sonic doodles
(I'm not completely dead I swear,, 😨)
#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sonic the hedghog fanart#art#super sonic#metal sonic#amy rose#silver the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#but its just his head lamo#sorry shadow fans#i mjght draw him some mkre tho 🙂#if at least one person says they want it ill be more motivated but im still gonna do it anyways#eat up fellas you wont see me again for at least another month probably idk#also please dont steal my art i'll cry
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i got SO inspired by this beautiful photo by Ron Frazier so i decided to paint it !! and then throw some guys on there cuz of course
u can look below the cut if you want to see the painting without the characters !!
MY PAINTING !! this was so fun fr i love painting light <3 might go ahead and post this separately but for now you must look at these ocs ok?
#💎#my art#my ocs#character art#digital painting#artists on tumblr#i actually emailed him to ask if he was cool with me posting this bc i obviously heavily referenced his work#and he said i was good to use the images however i liked! which is very cool and sweet. the original picture just stunned me#and it was soo so so fun to paint bc i love bright neon light contrasts like this#idk if the heights and proportions even make sense in the scene idk how big this kinda vending machine is irl#bc the actual ref pic was taken in japan#and i havent been there !#tbf alex the guy by the vending machine is like 6'4 so if hes too big . maybe i intended it. hmm???#i like trying to paint characters into scenes in my style cuz i dont do ut often.. fun challenge#one of my favorite bits was painting in the no smoking sign rifht next to my sketch of achin smoking . yessir#achin goodman#alex young#oh one last thing i did change the design and logo on the vending machine n addrd some little stickers to the electrical box !!#jsut for some visual interest <3 somee of the stickers actually come from another piece i did that ill probably post soon :)#i like making lil stickers.. theyre not really meant to Be anything#i did a lot of this while watching drawfee vods so when i look at parts of it theyre all i can think about haha#ok well i was editing my draft and ended up posting this on accident instead . at 4 am . so it stays LMAO#oops
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It's 3am on a school night what the fuck am I doing
#sometimes i feel a bit stupid#like go the FUCK to bed what are you doing😭😭#LIKE I MGONNA REGRET THIS IN THE MORNING IN MY MATHS CLASS BC IM GONNA BE ONE SECOND FROM FALL8JG ASLEEP EVER SINGLE SECOND#like what the shit just go to sleep whats wrong eith u 😭😭#i fear im a tad bit too fucking stupid#idk if ill even go to bed after this like ill probably stay up for another hour or so just for fun😭#kadens yap session
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one thing i really deeply wish is that i'd had access as a kid to the plural community and information that are more easily available today, instead of my first experience with plural community which both took it seriously and was nonjudgmental having been 10's era tul/pa.info lmao
#moogletalks#in some ways it was a wonderful community; and it taught me a lot of really helpful things#and made me feel validated and hopeful that This is a Thing That You Can Continue to Be and Develop in an Adult Life#instead of feeling like there was a time limit for when plurality stopped being Childlike Imagination and started being Craziness(tm)#(lots to unpack there lol)#.....in other ways not only was there Some Real Fuckery going on in the community in general; on an interpersonal basis#but i cannot overstate how horrifically toxic and damaging some of the things it taught me about plurality were#and how when i entered the phase of young adulthood where i realized the approach it had demanded of me was unsustainable to my survival#instead of having other perspectives on hand to go 'hey yeah you're not torturing your parts to death out of laziness if they go dormant'#'and/or if you don't spend hours of extremely grueling intensive work at minimum into maintaining them every single day of your life'#'and that if they dissolve into nothing because you Didn't Pay Them Enough Attention and you try to recreate them it won't be the same one'#'and if they DO actually come back as themselves they'll be horribly broken and traumatized and probably hate you forever'#'who the fuck told you that. oh my god?'#all i had to go on was 'either you're plural or you live an actual functional life in the real world; and i can't not do the latter atp'#and the result was repressing myself in an incredibly traumatic way i have just never fully recovered from even now#the fun cherry on top was that later when i *did* try to ask (very kind and well-meaning) plural ppl from another mental health community#if anything i described sounded familiar to their own experiences; or ones they had heard from other people#their response was pretty much 'idk that doesn't sound plural to me; i'm sorry; it's something where if you have it you know :('#me crying my eyes out for days afterward: obviously this reaction is bc i want to appropriate plurality to feel special#and am throwing tantrums at having the bubble broken by Reality#anyway. it's been a lot and yeah i really wish i'd had literally any other affirming plural community as a kid lol#ableism cw#internalized ableism cw#pluralitag#traumatag#adventures in mental illness#disabilitag
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i always say im able-bodied bc i feel like it best describes my General Lived Experience but i do have that like. thing in my legs where if i walk briskly for some distance (like 500 meters) i get this crushing pain in my whole lower legs which gets worse and worse if i keep walking until i eventually have to sit down for a few minutes and wait for it to go away. which im still trying to get diagnosed bc so far artery scans and muscle ultrasounds render nothing. and ngl it is like, an issue often enough and is a pretty bothersome thing when it happens (like not only bc its extremely painful but also having to find some place to sit down in the middle of the street and having to stay there a while isnt awesome) so im not entirely sure "able-bodied" fully describes me but i also am not sure its a disability bc we dont know wtf it is. so i guess im kind of in a weird inbetween where i err on the side of just assuming its not a disability and its just like, an annoying body thing..
#97#i guess if it happened every single day or something i would probably feel more confident identifying it as like....#idk some type of disability or at least something worth integrating into my definition of my general health#and ensuing relationship to my body to the medical system etc etc#but bc it only happens when i walk briskly for a bit and i dont even go out for a walk every day it doesnt feel worth mentioning#anyway ive had this since 2019 or 2018 lol but the first round of attempted diagnosing i gave up early#and for a few years i just ignored it which is easier when i dont get out a lot anyway#but im currently in the process of attempting to figure out what it is again..#by september ill know if its compartment syndrome which has been brought up but is apparently unlikely#thats the last exam were doing so. if its not that then ngl idk what the next options are#bc this was everything my doctor could think of to explain it#another thing abt it not being diagnosed and not clearly being a disability is i dont dare ask for a seat in public when i need one lol#which has been an issue a few times where every seat is taken but i REALLY need to sit to stop the pain#if i could say 'excuse me i have (x thing) i really need a seat' id maybe dare to ask#but i dont manage to just be like 'hey could i get a seat my legs hurt' lol
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~
#they speak!#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.#roommate kept coming up to me this morning going oh did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did. did i do that or no? i'm really sorry.#and i kept telling him to stop saying sorry because i didn't have the brain power to phrase#'you could've been more considerate of your volume but you also have the right to use the common space so it's whatever'#but he said it to me again before i went to my room just now and it's like. ok. shut up.#if you actually cared that much u would've just been quieter in the first place actually.#anyways. annoyed. there were some annoying customers in the store today but it was whatever.#i feel like my fucks to give had already worn out with all the ppl in my social circle/my parents and the recent ongoings of that#[redacted] was being passive aggressive to me in the group chat and it's like. ok! idk what u want from me.#and i'm grateful for them for coming over and helping me with cleaning last week#and it's those sorts of actions that let me know they care and want good things for me#but like. i haaaate telling them anything because even innocuous non-private things get turned into judgement with them.#also. more and more i can feel how i'm drifting away from h and now with retrospect i can see how we mutually hurt each other :)#i keep coming back to this one period where i really wanted to take them to try dimsum and they kept saying they were too scared to try it#and in their new friend group they regularly go out n get dimsum together. which on the surface is like. why didn't you want to go with /me#i told you i wanted to share what i liked and i would explain what things were and i could do the talking and you still said no#but it's also very much a reflection of how i always rolled over and enabled them. i never challenged them. i was always passive.#i also feel like i'm heavily neglecting e and a recently and i can tell how the physical distance is affecting us and idk. it's weird.#anyways. another post that should've been a journal entry! lol!#when [redacted] helped with cleaning they also buried my journal under my like#300 packets of sesame candies and i can't be bothered to dig it out. also my bandaids are missing now. <3#ik this also sounds passive aggressive but genuinely appreciate the help i just kinda hate how they think hidin everything in boxes is good#'we need to get you some more storage boxes and containers!!' actually i think that will be the opposite of helpful.#i need everything visible and on open surfaces so i can 1) remember they exist for me to use and 2) not have barriers for me to get to them
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ran in place for 20 minutes oh my god im tired
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I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh
hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]
i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..
#snap chats#//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes#might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍♂️#@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ...#there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams//#recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking#he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ#oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever#first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway#aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO#though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role#daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot#yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does#if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh#and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing#theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line#masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together#if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack#but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral#im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 ....#and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like#'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)'#and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal#they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway.#tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together#like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀#one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid#so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny.#and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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like yes arcane s2 was a bit of a letdown but the real tragedy was them showing Twice that for some reason music sung in french fits that series like a fucking glove and this whole time theyve instead chosen. imagine dragons.
#arcane#and imagine dragons esque stuff#like ill admit i do somewhat enjoy that sort of alt pop rock on occasion#BUT IT DOESNT FIT THE SERIES AT ALL#idk why french fit so well#like ik it was probably smth to do with alt universe and stuff#but it was just Perfect for the series as a whole#and not just that one song#they also had another smidge of french in the end battle thing
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do most people just hate their jobs?? bc I'm realizing my baseline for my job is a (mostly) manageable level of dread. and then sometimes it's good and sometimes it's worse. and idk if I should just accept this or if I'm doing something wrong
#it fluctuates so much too#ill go for stretches of being so in love with what i do and then the next week i want to set myself on fire#but like........most every job is stressful right?? for one reason or another#idk man i was just so zen and happy yesterday and now ive been at work for three hours and im having a slowburn anxiety attack#(enemies to lovers to enemies coffee shop au)#granted most jobs don't make you confront the crushing horror of mortality and grief so that's probably part of it but like#cmon man it's just death it's fine#idk whatever. whatever!!
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for once im actually working on the next part immediately...????
#rant in tags#no this doesnt mean im gonna... finish it soon but hopefully it means i also dont take another year long break 😭#did a lot of brainstorming with chewy (me talking rubbish at him and him being like 👍)#uhhhhhh hopefully i know what I'm doing cause. part 4 just felt a bit boring imo#need to tie things togetha#BUT! part 5 is the end of the story not the end of miles and reader's interactions that will be in the epilogue#cause aint no love is actually an Introductory story to a bigger story i had in my head but im not sure if ill ever really write it#so right now its just a standalone#i want to work on other things. had a hobie series in mind but its not x reader so idk if itll do well but it doesnt matter#cause writing is all about having fun#though ill still write x reader stuff probably just in one shots or after that#but yeah#vee chats
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