#ill post it tomorrow maybe or something... or next week
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dashjgdvsah totally forgot i already Have a oneshot for WSSW done, its been done for a MONTH i just finally get to post it jkhdjavghbdsaLMFAOO
#its gons pov of chapter 2.... straight up forgot about it#i wrote that for a greed island card ages ago#and chose not to post it tilll i finished the story oops#depths' talks#ill post it tomorrow maybe or something... or next week#good to space things out. so. uh. people dont think i post frequently sjkdabhjvdhsbk
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CIY- CH 24

Chapter Twenty-Four
📍Pairing: detective ateez ot8 x detective afab reader 📍Summary: "Turning Point" 📍WC: 3.3k 📍AU: detective/mafia 📍Genre: action, dark themes, poly romance 📍Warning(s): 18+ rating, some angst, dark themes implied, oral (male receiving), body piercings, cum-eating, semi-public sex, slight voyeurism/exhibitionism 📍Nets: @pirateeznet | @mirohs-aurora-society 📍Beta readers (and sole motivation): @flurrys-creativity , @candypop1611 , @yourfatherlucifer , @skteezcursed and edited(usually) by the amazing: @daemour 📍dividers made by: @cafekitsune 📍AN: As a birthday gift to me (9-24) I am posting this hecka early. But also annoucing that there will not be another CIY posting until after October (most likely. who knows, i might get impatient myself) as ill be focusing on Kinktober and some fics i have planned for October! There are 6 chapters left (roughly) so please enjoy <3
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Three weeks. Three weeks had gone by and you had to admit, you missed them. Well, some of them. Wooyoung’s incessant need for you. San and his flirting- his dimples. Yeosang’s cute little lisp and the sound of him tapping away on his keyboard. Hell you even missed hearing Mingi fuck others and keeping you awake at night. You might even miss Jongho’s constant scowl in your presence.
Seonghwa had been taking you to and from the club every night, five nights a week, and would tell you to rest the other two. You wouldn’t come into the office but now you wanted to. Maybe then you could do something about this odd bundle of emotions in your stomach. Yeosang sent you instructions on how to fill out a report of your undercover work on the program he installed in your laptop, which automatically stored the vital information and categorized and compared it with the rest. So in short, now you couldn’t even tell them about the new rumors you’ve picked up at the club.
At least now you knew why they were so busy, far too busy for you. The Vipers and the Wolves were still at each other’s throat, fucking up cash grabs, stealing product, or raiding known businesses of the other. San told you he was cleared to head back to fighting soon, and it worried you that the Wolves would hit the fighting ring while he was there.
But, what could you do about it? Undercover work was something that took months to years to gain enough influence to make a difference. You were nothing more than a fly on the wall gathering information, searching for weaknesses to use against the big players. A slip up that could get them behind bars.
Once more you thought of the dead boy in the alley. Once more you pictured someone else as that dead body. And once more you realized that, as a detective, there was nothing you could do to prevent that. It was a frustrating feeling.
And that’s why you found yourself heading to the gym on your next free day, ready to punch the frustration out or work up enough of a sweat that your muscles would be screaming at you until tomorrow.
It was a nice sweet surprise to find Hongjoong there, working on one of the machines, a thin sheen of sweat coating his bare arms and calves. He was wearing a hat, black tank and black gym shorts with an airpod in as he was chatting with someone. He didn’t notice you at first, but when you got close enough to hear his conversation, you frowned at how quick he hung up when he did notice you. “I’ll call you back later.” The weights dropped as he let go of the handles to turn the call off, shifting to look up at you with a bright and charming smile despite your deepening frown. “Firecracker, lovely to see you here.”
“Cut the bullshit” you weren’t having it today. Had the three weeks away changed something? Had your observations just been wishful thinking? Why was he hiding things from you? They still didn’t trust you fully did they? Ah, that hurt. Hongjoong seemed to catch on by your tone and stance, the smile softening to something more genuinely welcoming. “It was San, he was giving me an update on the Vipers I-” “Am I not allowed to hear what you had to say?” You cut him off, still staring him down. You shouldn’t be getting so worked up, you really shouldn’t.
But Hongjoong seemed good at reading you, reaching out and holding his hand palm up. “Would it ease your mind to know what is going on? What he was telling me? Or can I ask you to trust me on this, and you can learn all about it later?” You stared at his hand for a moment, eyes running up his arm to the tattoos that covered his bicep. Briefly you glanced at the ink before meeting his eyes. “It’s a delicate matter?” You decided to ask, arms uncrossing to rest at your sides. “Yes. The war they have going on is turning into a bloodbath.” He didn’t elaborate, just smiled wider when you did take his hand finally. Gently he pulled you closer.
Relaxing a bit further, you let him. He didn’t need to explain, because you realized what he meant. The Vipers were losing everything, and the Wolves would take what they could from them. Killing, maiming, or selling off each member or even associate. “I see… what are we doing about it?” He lifted a brow at your choice of words, pulling you right between his knees and holding both of your hands. You don’t know why he insisted on this sort of touch, but you didn’t mind one bit. “Nothing we can do. We can’t pull San out safely, but there isn’t a way we can stop the Wolves either. Not without risking more. Did you come here to blow off some steam? Worried about him?” Slowly you nodded, staring at your joined hands. “I don’t want to punch anything, just not think. The Boas don’t care much for either, but I hear how ruthless the Wolves are. They’re scared of them much more than the Vipers and-” Your words were cut off as he pulled you onto his lap. “Captain?” “How do you think San can get out of this unscathed? I’m worried too, Firecracker, and even if we can’t do much, it’s better to have some hope that something can happen to save him. Right?” He was comforting you, wasn’t he? The notion had your cheeks warming, mind shifting to the question. With everything you knew, what needed to happen for San to be truly safe from the Wolves? “I… well the Vipers are no match for the Wolves alone but if they had help… then San’s chances of- well you know. The Guardians are the only ones who can stop the Wolves, but I don’t see how they would get involved. Not unless this war causes significantly more damage, or they believe it will.” Your original thought was the Guardians getting rid of the Wolves anyways. After all, the more you learned about them, the more you realized that the biggest, scariest monster out there was the Wolves. The Vipers would be easier to take down, same with the Goblins. The Golden Circle could just be bought out, most of them just greedy cowards. And the Guardians and Pirates? They cared more for regulation to an extent than chaos.
The Wolves enjoy being cruel for cruelty’s sake. Sadists, killers, men who wanted to see the world burn and wanted to be the hands responsible for it. People were toys to them. Ones they wanted to break and use any way they saw fit.
You’d rather see San with his busted lip and black eye from a fight in the ring rather than the possible torture the Wolves would put him through. “The Wolves won’t stop until every last Viper is dead or turned to them or sold. I’d rather the Vipers win, and that can't happen without the Guardians. Either working together or the Guardians step in to apply pressure to the Wolves to back them off.” Hongjoong’s sudden bright smile threw you off and you were on your feet in a second. “What?” He chuckled, just to pull you back down with enough force you tumbled into him, hands on his chest and lips suddenly on his. He swallowed up your squeak, pulling you fully onto his lap as his tongue sought yours. You hadn’t expected it, but he tasted so good that you didn’t want to pull away. Yet as soon as melted into him, he was separating your mouths. “You really are a genius, I think. That’s something we never thought of.” You blushed at his compliment, staring up at him as his fingers carded through your hair. “What ideas did you have?” “Ones that involved what the Vipers alone could do, or we as detectives. Sometimes we forget to take a step back and see all this from a different angle.” “I see… but can we really do anything like that?” He shrugged. “We could have Wooyoung or San suggest it. If the Vipers are smart, and want to survive, they’ll latch onto that idea hopefully before it’s too late.” Pride swelled through you, as well as respect. Hongjoong did respect you, to go from easing your worries, to turning your thoughts into something productive, and then backing your idea as an equal. All while he was kissing you, touching you, melting you in his arms like you were his lover.
“Captain-” “Please call me Hongjoong, or something like that outside the office. Especially when you’re in my arms like this.” He stopped you, arm tightening on your waist while his other hand massaged your scalp a bit. He chuckled at the pleased sound you made at the touch.
“H-Hongjoong… did Seonghwa- ah Hwa- tell you about…” You trailed off, eyelids getting heavy the more you relaxed in his embrace. He nodded. “S-so you know how much this means to me?” “I do, Firecracker. And he told you how things work, and his unofficial invitation?” When you nodded, his hand tightened in your hair enough to pull an unexpected moan from your lips. “I’m going to take how pliant you are in my arms as an acceptance of that if you keep this up. Wooyoung might be the most vocal about his desire for you, but I feel it just as intensely.” Your hands gripped his tank tightly, lips parted as you enjoyed the way he was getting a bit rough with your hair. Massage, then tug. Smooth then tug harder. “Then why pull me onto your lap?” “To treasure you, though I didn’t think you would let me.” He admitted, shifting you on his thighs a bit until you could feel his hard on against the side of your thigh. “Yeosang is going to get another show at this rate.” Laughing under your breath softly, you shifted on his lap. “Good. I’m not too happy about him telling you all about San and Chan. He likes to watch and then run his mouth to you all? I should show him what he’s going to miss because he’s always hiding behind those screens.” Detaching yourself from Hongjoong, you stood back up between his legs, wrapping your arms loosely around his shoulders to card your fingers through his hair at the base of his neck, just under the cap. Latching your lips onto his to keep him from questioning you, your mind wandered to Yeosang and the expressions he made when he had been watching you and Wooyoung. Would he make those now? Better yet… What expressions would Hongjoong make?
With your lips still attached, brushing over his soft ones, letting him chase yours with each stroke, your hands ran down his chest. His shirt stuck to him with damp sweat, muscles tensing under your fingertips: first over his pecs, which had a nice curve to them, and then over his stomach. The lower they got, the more desperate his lips on yours.
The sound he made, the breathy whine as you cupped his sizable bulge in his shorts, turned you on even more. So eager to see just how far you could push him.
In a way, this was your first time initiating with them. As you slipped down onto your knees, palming at his hardening cock through the material of his shorts, you acknowledged the fact he hadn’t asked for this, or done much to make you want him: you just wanted him, and wanted to do this. Wooyoung had begged and begged. And Mingi had wanted to prove to you how much he wanted you. You just let them have the opportunity, reaping the ecstasy they gave you. And as much as you loved taking what they had to offer, you wanted to give back as well. In particular to the man before you. The man who was trying so hard not to pull your hair too much. Who was gripping the seat beneath him as his hips rolled up into your hands, pretty lips parted and swallowed from your kisses.
If Hongjoong had turned you away, or tried to block you at every turn like you had expected him to do before meeting him, you wouldn’t have this growing warmth in your heart at every thought of them. The swell of pride at your ongoing work. You wouldn’t have a confidant in San and Seonghwa. Wouldn’t have the eager lovers Wooyoung and Mingi. The witty banter of Yunho and Yeosang.
And perhaps, pressing your lips to where you could feel his tip twitching beneath the material, you wanted to convince them that they had to have you, just as you had to have them.
Selfish, greedy, maybe a little manipulative: that’s what you thought of yourself as you pulled his shorts down enough to expose his cock, staring up at him with a question in your eyes.
Maybe you were all those things, but it was worth it as he tightened his hold on your strands significantly and pulled you against his cock, smearing the bit of precum and sweat on your lips and cheek, pleading with you. “Take what you want, gorgeous, I’m yours to use.”
How could you deny him- deny yourself- when he looked so delectable like this?
Taking the invitation for what it was, your tongue ran up his length as your hands worked his pants down further. His words rang in your head, the adoration mixed with lust in his expression adding to the pit of emotions coursing through you.
With your lips wrapping around his tip, eyes focused on his expression, you marveled at the warm metal now clicking against your teeth. Quickly you pulled away and glanced down, breath hitching at the metal bar on the underside of his tip, right through the soft flesh in between the twi curves of his hood. “Oh fuck-” Mingi and him? Different places but you could remember how the piercing felt… if you took Hongjoong inside, you’d feel the metal scraping against your walls and the thought had you dripping in your underwear.
Wanting him to want that just as much, you took him back in your mouth, humming as you quickly took as much of him as you could. His eyes rolled back momentarily, breath hitching and fingers curling in your hair. He could fuck your mouth right now and you’d let him.
You’d let him do a lot of things if he continued to let out sweet whines like the one that just fell from his pretty lips. He wasn’t small, but definitely not Mingi’s size. But Hongjoong never needed size to get his point across, or for you to notice him- there was much more about him and the man utilized that to command a room and gain a grip on anyone he wished.
Right now you were the one in his grip, both figuratively and literally, as you pushed his shorts down and spread his thighs wider. Shuffling a bit closer, you took more of him in, humming around his cock once more as it hit the back of your throat, nose so close to his pelvis, but you managed. The sweat didn’t bother you, neither did the feel of the hard floor under your knees, not when he seemed to be unraveling at your touch. You were enjoying him so much you swore you could suck him off for hours without a reprieve. So what if your throat was sore? If you were tasting his cum and sweat for hours after with every drink and food you devoured? Pressing your tongue up as you pulled off his length, sure to add even more pressure to the piercing and was rewarded with a whiny moan as his body reacted: hips bucking and hand tightening in your hair to hold you still.
Oh so it made him sensitive?
Bobbing your head back down, taking as much of his length as you felt comfortable with, you focused more attention on his tip. Every time you pulled away you added pressure, letting your teeth scrape against it or twisting your head just enough as you pushed back down.
Hongjoong was noisy, between high pitched pants, to low curses under his breath, his fingers in your hair a give away to what he liked best. You used that to your advantage, nails digging into the inside of his thighs when you realized he liked that.
“Ah- fuck- gorgeous- Gunna make me- mmm fuck fuck~” His head kept rolling back but he would push forward to watch you as much as he could, mouth hanging open, teeth clenching in little hisses of pleasure. You hummed and moaned around his cock, picking up pace and pressure as your own need was clouding your thoughts. Have him cum first then maybe you could convince him to fuck you in the showers.
Your nails dug into his thighs more when he started pushing you, just slightly as if guiding, down on his cock. His head rolled back again, moans gaining volume as your name and praise joined the sweet sounds.
In awe of him you nearly choked when his thick cum hit the back of your throat in spurts. You pushed away a bit, lips still latched onto his twitching tip as he emptied his pretty balls on your tongue.
He lifted his head once he was spent, panting heavily and meeting your gaze. He slipped out of your mouth with a loud pop, your tongue lolling out to show the bit of cum still pooled there before you made a show of swallowing it.
“Fuck, Firecracker… I didn’t expect you to do this.” He smoothed out your hair, your scalp a little sensitive from how hard his grip had been.
Smiling, you rested your head on the inside of his knee, smoothing over the crescent marks you had made with your nails and admiring the piercing on his softening cock. “I wanted to. Wanted to show I want you too. I know I wasn’t as… vocal about it. Maybe with work but not in this way.” You tilted your head to look up at him, licking your lips and still tasting him on them. “If you have time… would the showers be private enough? I think Yeosang got enough of a show.” He chuckled, pushing the hair out of your face before gently tapping your cheek. “I should. Stand up for me?”
Once you did you watched as he pulled up his underwear and shorts. Now you had a moment to admire the work on his arm, you liked learning about them and most people got tattoos that represented a part of them. Plus, tattoos were big in the underworld, often a way to show your rank or who you belonged to.
You noted a few portraits, black rimmed hats and masks, the eyes sharp. There were eight, you counted, surrounded by waves with… with a pirate boat detailed on the upper part of his arm.
He called your name, moving just as you took note of a few letters on his arm. Sex was no longer on your mind, your brow furrowed as your mouth fell open to speak the first question that formed instead.
But the words were overshadowed by an alarm ringing through the gym and Hongjoong cursing. “Fuck- there’s an emergency.” He quickly pecked your cheek. “Head back to your apartment and wait for a call? I’ll let you know when everything’s okay.” He started grabbing his other things, but you were in shock.
The alarm turned off once he was gone but you were still rooted in place.
From the letters you had been able to make out, two of them had been “B” and “P”, just like Mingi had.
Were they part of the Black Pirates? Were they… the enemy?

Taglist (Capped): @mingsolo | @wowie-hockey | @crispybaguettes | @tiny-apocalypse
| @philijack | @lelaleleb | @isiloiale | @vannabanana1995 | @piratequeen-queenofgames
| @starstruckforyou | @minheeskitten | @amphiroxx | @cloudysannie | @sugarnspice630
| @sanhwalvr | @plutoneu | @sousydive | @fatalt | @iwishiwasrichasfuck
| @bitchwhytho | @st4rhwa | @thesafecafe | @alextheweeb7 | @ddaeing
Taglist will be continued in a reblog!!
#pirateeznet#mirohsaurorasociety#ateez fanfic#ateez ot8#ateez smut#ateez x reader#ateez fanfiction#ateez fic#ateez x y/n#ateez x you#poly ateez x reader#ateez hongjoong fanfic#hongjoong x reader#hongjoong smut#ateez hongjoong smut#hongjoong fanfic
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40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS CHAPTER FOUR
thought i’d be lying if i said ‘i didn’t want you to myself.’ when you look me in my eyes and, tell me that it’s mine, i…
pairing wnba!paige bueckers x singer!oc
taglist @thaatdigitaldiary @rosemariiaa @patscorner @makethemhoesmad @wbbgetsmewetter @authentic-girl03 @ohbueckers
kalena speakss 🪽! i had no clue what to write for this chapter but i scrapped something together and here it is! pls know this was supposed to be out like two hours ago but most of it got deleted and i had to rewrite it, so ignore any typos for the moment, ill fix em eventually 😭
May 2025 — Los Angeles, California
My leg bounces anxiously in the passenger seat of Julian’s car. The vehicle is silent, oddly enough, a complete 180 turn from the atmosphere of the last few days.
Things were really good. Julian and I were getting along better than ever, date nights and sleepovers. Up until we were arguing again. About schedules, staying out late, and of course the biggest disagreement in our relationship; the public.
We stayed up through all the hours of the night last night yelling at each other because I didn’t post about our date on my story; which I thought was childish but Julian evidently thought it was very serious.
Maybe I was wrong.
Maybe it was a big deal. Even when I thought about it from his perspective, I would probably be upset too. But the issue was we’ve talked about this before, countless times.
I sat looking out the window, an air-pod in my right ear that softly played music to keep my head clear. Briefly interrupted by my text tone going off.
Marayeeeee
Paige. Obviously. She’s been the most consistent number in my phone since the dinner party a while back.
don’t ask me for more banana pudding please
You trippin 😭😭
Wanted to see if you were busy, I miss you
“Who’s that?” Julian asks me.
“Just Paige.” I responded, my eyes only briefly looking up from my phone to look at him. It didn’t take a genius to notice how his demeanor changed. The slight roll of his eyes, and the shift in his seat.
“You guys have been talking a lot lately, no?”
He would be right. Aside from the texting throughout all hours of the day, we’ve gone out for lunch a few times over the last couple weeks. She was good company, and very easy to get comfortable around.
“Yeah, something like that.”
i’m actually heading to the airport rn…
Oh
Where to?
dallas! i have a few shows in texas and atl
but i’ll be back next weekend since you miss me so bad ;)
She doesn’t respond right away and I take that as the opportunity to shut my phone off and stick it into my pocket.
Julian lets out a long sigh as his hand runs over his face. “You know we still have to talk about last night, right?”
“What is there to talk about if we’re just gonna keep disagreeing?” I ask softly, trying to avoid raising my voice and starting yet another argument.
“You want me to stop bringing it up? Fine. But don’t get mad when I don’t put up with it anymore.”
The LAX drop off comes into my view and I turn my head to avoid looking at him once more. I don’t miss the lump that sits in my throat, or the tears that sting my eyes. I’ve never considered myself emotional, normally just keeping how I felt to myself or writing it in music, but that one stung.
“Okay Ju.” I shake my head, unbuckling my seatbelt when the car comes to a stop. “That’s fine.” I comment before stepping out of the car. Even after all that, he still hops out to help me get my bags, and I know he’s upset with me and I’m just as upset with him but the way he hugs me and kisses my forehead nearly makes me forget about it.
Nearly.
Because even then, I’m thinking about how his arms don’t feel like they used to. And after a few seconds the kiss that is lingering on my forehead just feels like slobber that I can’t wait to wipe off.
—
May 2025 — Las Vegas, Nevada
I sit comfortably on my hotel bed, a game playing as background noise in front of me and film on my iPad. We play the Aces tomorrow on prime time television and though I should probably be getting some rest, there’s only one person that could possibly be keeping me up at midnight before game day.
Maraye. Obviously.
I can see every bit of her from the phone screen. She’s laying on her bed quite literally giving me a show of her entire upper body. She has on a gray tank top, and I have to remind myself to look up at her face rather than the way her tits sit in that top.
“Paige?”
“Yeah, sorry. What did you say?”
“I said shouldn’t you be watching film instead of me?” She joked. I turned my head before she could get a look of the flush of my face.
“Yes, actually, but you wanted to talk about um, what’s his name again?”
“Julian?”
“Yeah him, and I’m trying to be a good friend.” I shrugged. “What was the issue again?”
Maraye sulks on the other line, shaking her head before speaking. “It’s like we always argue about the same shit. I don’t have the energy to put up with it anymore.”
I’m probably the world’s biggest asshole for giving her relationship advice while wanting her in my bed right now, but oddly enough there isn’t a bone in my body that cares.
“Don’t y’think you should tell him that? That it’s tiring or something?” I suggest. My head leans to the side to get a better look at her and it’s so hard to stay focused on the topic at hand when she’s looking the way she does right now.
Maraye’s skin is glass. I swear if I were to look hard enough I would see my reflection in it. There’s a few freckles that sit on her skin that I can’t just barely see in the light. She has on her reading glasses, wide round frames that complement her brown skin and brown eyes beautifully.
“I tried! But then it makes me look like the bad guy, and I don’t wanna seem like an asshole.”
“How would you be the bad guy for saying how you feel? It’s not that hard, I mean you’re doing it with me right now.”
She laughs at this. “That’s not the same.”
“Yeah? How?”
There’s a silence on the other end, and I notice the way she breaks eye contact with me. Her head turning away from the phone screen and instead looking up somewhere else in the room.
She’s right, it’s not the same. I’m not the one she goes home too, or will introduce to her family, no matter how often I daydream that I am. Nevertheless, still I convince myself that it is.
“We’ve been friends as long as you guys been together, and you can tell me everything, right? Why not him?” I ask. My eyes trail away from the phone screen and over to my iPad to make the silence a bit more comfortable.
“You’re just easier to talk to, Paige. I don’t know.” Her voice trails off at the end of her sentence. “I’m just being dramatic, it’s fine.”
Now in the last two-ish weeks that I’ve been blessed with the pleasure to call Maraye my friend, I’ve picked up on quite a few habits of hers. One of which, being her ability to toss her feelings to the side as if they don’t matter. There’s probably nothing I hate more than that.
“No you’re not.” I sigh, looking back at her. “I’m sorry, but if he’s gonna be mad about how you react to how he’s made you feel instead of fixing it, then he ain’t the one for you, angel. You should find someone who is.”
—
June 2025 — Atlanta, Georgia
Paige’s words have hung over my head like a cloud over the last week.
I’ve made a great handful of friends since leaving Atlanta for LA, all of which I’d like to think have made huge impacts in my life, but none of which even compare to my friendship with Paige.
She’s amazing. Not a flaw in her Godsend personality. And not just in the building-a-grocery-store-in-her-hometown kinda way, but in literally every way imaginable. I laugh harder around her, she gives me amazing advice, and we just clicked almost instantly. It was so, different?
That’s probably the best word, different.
At first I thought it was admiration. I was a fan of hers and as such I felt a certain way about being friends with her. It felt good.
In reality, my idea couldn’t possibly be more far fetched.
I’ve never once questioned my sexuality. For me, my “normal” has just always been guys. There was never a girl friend of mine that made me feel a certain way, or a girl crush that was anything more than a brief fixation. So believe me when I say that how I feel about Paige— when she texts me, or calls to say she misses me, and especially when she calls me angel— that is far from my normal.
It all happened too fast, too much for me to process. I thought my connection with Julian was quick, I mean after a week I was all about him. But me and Paige? We clicked off of one conversation, maybe even the second she fell into my lap at the game. I have no idea how to feel about that.
So as a result, I haven’t spoken to her since that night in Dallas. It thought it would be simple, since it gave me the opportunity to focus on my shows and my career. Yet, all it has me doing is fucking missing her.
I’m seated on the couch in my dressing room backstage before my show in Atlanta. My thumb is hovering over the girl’s contact. Her contact photo stares back at me dangerously. It’s a photo of the two of us from Cameron’s dinner party, Paige’s nose is scrunched as she throws up a peace sign and I’m showing all 32 while throwing up one of my own.
I’m about to press the contact. I don’t know much but I assume she doesn’t have a game tonight, and all I want before going on stage is to hear her voice as she talks about literally anything.
I don’t care about how wrong it feels to be thinking about her in this way, or the fact that I should probably be on stage in less than 10 minutes. All I’m thinking about is Paige.
So yeah, I’m about to click on the dial button when the janky silver door knob twists open. I catch a peak at some royal blue flowers before all 6 feet and 3 inches of Julian steps through the door. My face doesn’t even try to mask its shock.
He looks handsome in his outfit. He always does. A white shirt with a black zip up hoodie along with jean shorts and a pair of Timbs. He’s gotten a haircut, I can tell from how clean his lineup is. His natural curls are pulled into cornrows down the back of his head.
It’s my first time seeing his face in a few days and in person since our awkward goodbye at LAX last week. Oh yeah, I haven’t spoken to him very much this past week either. Oddly enough, it was easier to do than with Paige.
When he steps closer, Julian hands me the flowers first before sitting next to me on the couch.
“What’re you doin’ here?” I ask incredulously. He pulls me into a hug from where we sit on the couch, cologne travels through the air and up into my nose. Dior Sauvage, I could point it out anywhere.
“I haven’t seen you in a minute.” Julian says. He leans into me and our lips connect softly, much different to the manner we’ve been treating one another with over the last couple weeks. Even then I don’t hesitate when I kiss him back. His lips feel so familiar, and they are because I haven’t felt them in quite some time. “Thought I should surprise you.” He mutters against my lips.
I pull away haphazardly, his eyes stare back into mine. Only this time it’s not as familiar, namely the fact that they aren’t big blue orbs that I swear dilate ever so slightly when they look at mine.
My feet lift me off the couch and over to the vanity. I place the flowers he gave me, roses, on the surface. “Sure did surprise me.” I joke. When I turn back around, with my hands pressed to the vanity chair behind me, Julian is manspreading slightly, the look on his face one that I call suggestive. “I have to be on stage in like… seven minutes.” I announce awkwardly with a glance to the gold watch on my wrist.
“So?”
“So, you have to get outta here and I have to finish up sound stuff.” I explain. My fingers fix the smeared lip gloss on my chin while I look down at him.
Julian stands up and approaches me, it’s times like this where I forget how tall he actually is. And the shoes on his feet give him another inch or two.
“What’s up wit’ you, babe? If you don’t want me here, I can go back to LA.” I don’t like the tone in his voice, mainly because it’s pointed as if he wants to say something to me but knows that it would upset me.
“What? No, I literally have to be on stage. You know how Kaylee gets.” I tell him. My hand reaches up for his tanned cheek and he doesn’t fight me off. I hear my phone ring in on the couch, but I can’t take it on stage with me so ignore it. It’s probably Kaylee cursing me out for being late.
Julian presses a kiss to my palm and I internally shudder. “You sure?” Just like that his tone is different. It’s the soft and deeper baritone that made me fall for him in the first place, not the aggressive accusatory voice I’ve become used to.
I nod. My mouth opens up to speak when I’m cut off by multiple bangs on the door before it swings open.
“Julian, I told you to wait until after the show. Raye we gotta go, now!” It’s Kaylee, as it always is. She reaches for my arm, which is bare due to my stylist's decision to fit me in a strapless top for tonight’s show. “You give me gray hairs, I swear.” She mumbles as she pulls me away from Julian.
In my head I’m silently thanking her for what I think was either Julian trying to have sex with me or him trying to start an argument about me not wanting to have sex with him. Either way I’m thankful.
As we leave, I hear my phone ring again from the couch. Julian reaches for it, and just before the door shuts I see him press a button and toss it back onto the couch.
It shouldn’t bother me because I have bigger priorities, namely the crowd of 10,000 people who paid money for this show. But still, it plays in the back of my mind while Kaylee scolds me and my sound manager fits the earpiece to my ear and puts the microphone in my hand.
#sierrale8ne#kalena’s works ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍵 ⋅#paige bueckers#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers x oc#uconn wbb#la sparks#lesbian#my fic#40 days and 40 nights
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Historically.. We don't mix. pt. 2
Law x fem!Reader, College AU
Pt. 1
Notes: Sorry i took forever, i kinda forgot i even posted this... HERES PT 2!!! let me know about any ponderances or possibly any errors... i dont have a beta reader or anything.. ALSO i could not come up with a nickname for reader..... so in the chat rooms i put "Y:" for "You". PLEASE tell me suggestions i will go back and fix it :D
WC: 2526
Back at the dorm that Law and Bepo shared, there was no chatter. Law was simply laying in bed with his laptop open to 5 tabs, one for each of the classes he was taking. He was taking all history classes this semester, since his counselor told him to. He would definitely miss the bio information but he did like history. Scrolling through each class, he breezed through all of the syllabus quizzes. Once he felt satisfied, it was onto checking his email, with one catching his attention.
“DIRE!! MAKE AN APPOINTMENT OR TEXT ME ITS EMERGENT!” The email title felt like a scam but he knew it was not, in fact it was a daily burden. The man who had sent it, his counselor and adoptive father, always communicated like this. After opening the email, he found himself irritated again, Cora had only wanted to remind him that classes start today.
“How would I not know?” Law muttered to himself. Reading through the email, then deciding he had been too neglectful of the man Law opened up their chat.
L: I know it was the first day, I got to my first two classes on time. C: Good!!! I miss you! <3 C: Any new friends?! C: Do you like your professors?? I hand picked them :D L: Hand picked? You are making me socialize on purpose. C: Not true! Nico Robin is the smartest! She already had her masters by the time most have an associates! L: The classes are fine. Bepo made a friend, her name is Perona. C: Oh! Mihawk’s kid! Good to know she’s here! Is his step-daughter here too? Maybe y/n? L: Yes. C: Oh! I heard she’s similar to you! Maybe you two can be friends or something? L: How long did you have to think to come up with this plan of yours? C: No idea what you are talking about…. L: Cora. C: … C: Anyways, have you gotten all the textbooks you need? C: I want to make sure you find them all! C: It's my job, you know. L: I still have two more classes to go to tomorrow, but i’ll be fine. L: Thanks. C: Anything for you! We should meet for lunch soon! I can make you salmon rice balls! Like when you were still a baby… remember? You loved my cooking! L: I did not. You should not be in a kitchen alone, Ill meet you on friday at 11. L: Don’t start until i'm there. Please. C: Okay !!!!! C: I'll see you then law! C: Cant wait ! C: Sleep tight <3<3<3
Law closed his laptop, relaxing his shoulders. He glanced over and Bepo was already asleep. He kicked off his blanket and got up to go to the bathroom. After he finished his business, washing his hands like any good bio major, he strolled to the microwave area. He had only wanted water but he saw the picture of him holding a letter, standing next to Cora. Staring at it, he wondered why the giant had wanted him to socialize so much. It’s not like he never sees human faces, or stays inside all day everyday. He just liked being alone when he could, no one to ask him stupid questions.
After finishing his water, Law went back to bed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The two went through the rest of the week, meeting each other an embarrassing amount of times. Neither one had any reason to talk to the other, so they didn’t. Until Wednesday rolled around, and they were back in Nico Robin’s class.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Someone has it out for me. I know it for sure” You wrote in your journal, along with the date and class name. Looking at Law, like you had these past two days, made you realize it more.
“I have pissed off whatever god actually exists and they want me to repent. There is no way that all four of my classes are naturally shared with Trafalgar.” You finish scribbling away in your journal, just in time.
“Okay, pass forward the paper I handed out to you. This was just a fun assignment to see what areas we, as a class, are most interested in.” She spoke smoothly, with an even tone. It was almost like she didn’t care, or like she had done this 20 times.
You heard some of your classmates groan and while you agreed, you thought it was inappropriate to voice that. Tapping a pen on the paper of your journal idly, you waited for more instructions. Even though your classmates weren't raised well, your father had done a fine job with you. You were nice, respectful, studious. Sure you are shy but it's not like it mattered.
Why speak to people and risk being embarrassed if they don’t want to talk to you?
“Okay, as I said before this class is based in groups and communication. Please tell one person about what you studied for this assignment.” Robin had said before sitting at her desk with a book in hand.
Suddenly everyone was talking but you and one other person.
“My assignment is on the Five years war. I chose it because of a coin flip, I found the sources in the library database.” Already you were irritated. Another interaction with the man who had no manners.
“Hello. That is how you start a conversation, who raised you? Anyways, my assignment is on the First Crusade. I chose it because it was the first war I thought of-” “Really? The first? Liar.” He interrupted you, of course a man like him would.
You squinted at him, before responding with “Not lying, I was watching a documentary on the pope a day before class, which made me think of all the holy wars. It's not polite to interrupt people.”
“Okay. I think we have discussed enough.” “Fine.” You scoffed at him mentally, before turning back to face the front of the room.
“Okay now, I want someone to tell me about their partner's work! This is worth participation, as a friendly reminder.” She smiled eerily
You did not raise your hand, in fact you looked away. If you were called on you would end up having to lie, since stupid Trafalgar didn’t tell you anything about his assignment.
“Okay, randomly generated, we will have Mr. Trafalgar, Mr. Reyes, and Ms. Churchill. In that order please.” “My partner researched the First Crusade, she told me that she learned about the context of the war. Specifically Pope Urban the second’s motivations for launching the crusade, who was mainly following the lead of the Byzantine emperor. She also learned about the cost of the war, not only economically but also what it did for the Pope’s approval rating.” Incredible. He pulled all that from his ass? Wasn’t he a double major? How long ago did he even learn that? How was he able to say it so confidently? He is actually smart?! Hold on, he could’ve seen the same documentary you did and just so happened to remember important stuff. But even then, he didn’t even hesitate, he was so confident, even with a professor like Nico Robin.
“Very good, point earned. Mr. Reyes?”
As he relaxed into his chair, you couldn’t help but stare. His hair was sticking out, a bit unruly from his beanie. It was white with weird black spots on it, maybe a statement about faux animal fur? Could he be vegetarian or something? Maybe he likes to hunt? His sideburns went right into his weird facial hair, “should be shaved” was scribbled into your journal, along with “spots?” and of course “T is smart?”. You saw his black hair under his beanie and thought of your father, who would never slouch like the man in front of you was.
“Okay good to hear. This wraps up our class for today, I’ll see you all on monday.”
You started gathering your things, excited to go back to Perona. She promised she would have your favorite food ready for you as soon as your class ended. It was a little weird, but you two always were close.
“Are you always the last to leave?” The sudden voice pulled you from your thoughts, and made you drop your pencil case. No pencils escaped but the case clunked right under whoever had just shocked you. Law, with no expression on his face, immediately thought of his giant adoptive father; who was extremely clumsy.
“No. Are you stalking me? I feel like the campus police or a trusted adult should know about this.” You looked up at him, not reaching for your case at all.
“I’m not, somehow, we have the exact same class schedule. With the exception of my online class.” “That's crazy buddy… Will you grab my case?”
“You can’t get it yourself?” He scoffed and folded his arms.
“I think the reason why I dropped it should be the one to get it for me, no?” You thought he looked childish, folding his arms like he just got told to go to his room.
“Fine.” He reached down, grabbing the case and placing it on your desk, “even though you were closer to the floor… I'm sorry.” He looked away as he said it. Once again you thought he was childish.
You found yourself staring again. This time you noticed his hands, the word ‘death’ tattooed on his fingers, and the heart on the back of his hand. Shocked to say the least.
“Holy shit.” Huh? You said that outloud? Maybe you weren’t nice.
You looked up to see Law’s face, somewhere between shock and disgust.
“Oh uh.. I meant, holy shit your tattoos are cool. They look like they hurt.” Maybe you saved it, you really did mean it in admiration.
“It was painful, but worth it. Bearable at times.” He looked at his hand and held it up between the two of you. Shocked that he held it up for display, you raised your eyebrows. Staring at the tattoo, you were about to reach out and hold his hand closer so you could get a better look at the line work. Then your thoughts were interrupted.
“I know we aren’t on the best terms, but you heard the professor. I think it would be a good idea to bite the bullet and partner up.” He said it so matter-of-factly you almost agreed without realizing you were lost.
“Huh? Partner?” you blinked up at him. “Of course you weren’t paying attention. The collaborative presentation that you and another student must present on the 18th?” He sounded annoyed, but his face wasn’t telling.
“Yes! Sorry I got lost in my thoughts, we might as well partner up. I don’t have anyone else in mind, so I can stick with you.” You finished packing, finally, and stood up. Swinging your bag onto your back, you held out your hand towards him.
“Okay… What is that for?” He nodded down to your hand.
“Give me your phone. I’ll put my email in. We can make a google slide and share it that way.”
He paused, with a semi frown on his face then gave up. He put his phone in your hand, and watched intently as you typed in something. Then you returned his phone, much to his delight.
“Bye then. Just do 5 slides on the First Crusade or whatever other war the pope has started.” He put both of his hands in his pocket as he casually strolled out, leaving you to the room.
“Hey! We should at least pretend you won't be a dick this whole time! Don’t boss me around!” You realized that you had said that just a bit too loud for the circumstances. Maybe you weren’t nice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Y: Okay! I just left class, do you have my salmon nigiri? Y: You won't believe how good I was today. P: WHST P: who are you? P: The y/n i know would never ever say that. P: Yes i do have it ready :) Y: I had to partner up with Him :/ Y: The strength Y: Also he has finger tattoos? Y: What the fuck. P: You didn’t see them before? Y: Sir traffy has been through it P: I wonder if hes like some ex-gang member? P: That is such a gang member thing to get tattooed P: Why aren’t you responding? P: Helllllooooooo P: y/n P: y/n P: ….
“Rona! You are literally crazy. I was walking over here, that's why I wasn’t responding.” You closed the door behind you, making sure to lock it.
“Anyways! I’ve never seen you have such a strong reaction! To a guy no less, did he like to recite everything in the declaration of independence?” Perona called out to you while you entered and took off your shoes.
You walked over to the kitchen, where she wasdoing some dishes. Tossing your bag on the couch, then taking a seat at the bar that was connected to the kitchen. “If he did that I would’ve proposed on the spot… He just is kinda smart? It’s freaky! One second he’s brushing me off and not wanting to talk to me at all, the next he's explaining the cause of the First Crusade? Well… Kinda.” Perona turned with two plates in hand, and took a seat next to you. She placed the plate of sushi in front of you, “Well honestly i'm not surprised… Bepo says he is always studying.”
“You talk about him with Bepo? Perona…” you made a disappointed face at her as you pulled your plate closer to you. “Noooo it’s all kosher! Bepo just offers up info about everyone he knows. I think he just doesn’t have a filter or whatever.”
“Yeah…” you took a piece of nigiri and dipped it, then ate it. As you chewed and swallowed you thought of your dad, “Do you think your dad would come visit us here?”
“Hmmm only if your dad forced him to. I can picture it now ‘don’t you miss our girls?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Then lets go! You pay and ill bring the beer!’ ‘beer isn’t allowed on a plane shanks’ or something like that…” Perona tried her best but didn’t really get the overall attitude of your dads. You decided not to comment and just take another bite.
“Do I get to know why you asked?” Perona said, food in her mouth.
“Traffy, as you call him, has hair as dark as Mihawk’s. It made me think of him today…”
“Sigmund Frued would have a lot to say to you right now.” “No he wouldn't, he’s dead.”
“Not for long…” “What the fuck?” You both burst out in laughter at the same time, something you had only ever done with your sister.
After dinner it was off to bed, except you weren’t actually sleeping. Your laptop was open on your lap, on the google slides page. The document was created, named, and shared to Traffy. It wasn’t the most well-mannered thing, but you decided that nicknames meant you’re friends. Your sister desperately wanted you to have friends, and this would make her think you had them. You didn’t like the deception, if you could call it that, but it's not like you were gonna go out and get real friends.
You started typing away, filling out 3 slides with information and pictures before deciding to get actual sleep.
#trafalgar law x reader#law x reader#one piece x reader#law x y/n#reader insert#trafalgar d law x reader#trafalgar law#one piece#law#college AU
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20cm (twenty centimeters) TEASER

jock!keita × fem!reader
genre: fluff
highschool au, enemies to lovers, y/n is a bitch (she gets better!), keita is in rugby
wc: 0.4k
a/n: ill try to get this posted next week, but here’s a little concept reveal !
synopsis: keita had always been sensitive about his height, but those thoughts seems to get drowned out every time hes on the field. it wasn’t until recently he finally became content with his genes. that was, until there were rumors of a new student that would be the new tallest student across the grades. not only that, it was a girl. and she was a major douchebag about it.
"whats wrong kei? youve had a scowl on your face since you've buckled your seatbelt." his frown deepened, slumping in the passenger seat.
"i do not!"
"do too!" beomgyu added with a snicker, peering from the backseat. heeseung quickly yanked him back, putting beomgyus seatbelt on for him. the four of them, sungchan included, were on the way to a random burger joint as per usual. last week it was the mall where they convinced heeseung to buy the biggest dildo in the spencers aisles. the week before that it was the skate park where beomgyu brought a scooter because he didnt know how to skate.
with rugby seasons coming up, this would probably be the last time keita tagged along before the group became busy with their own sports. october was always a hectic month for all of them, and he would've felt like shit if the last moment he had with his friends was of him complaining about some girl.
"whats wrong? seriously, you can tell us anything bro" sungchan continued, one hand on the wheel while the other rested on keitas knee. he gave keita a comforting squeeze, causing the boys sour look to soften. "... well. yall know the transfer, right?"
the other three nodded, all having their own tidbits to add.
"yeah the tall chick"
"shes pretty cool"
"winter and yunjins group, right?"

keita clicked his tongue, his nose scrunching st their nonchalance about her.
"why? you got rejected by her or sum?" beomgyu snickered before getting hit by heeseung, mumbling something about asshole and salt into the wound.
"what, no! shes a total douchebag."
a moment of silence hung in the car as the boys looked around each other, gauging one another's reactions. it wasn't long before the three burst out into laughter.
"im serious! y/n is such a-"
heeseung wiped a tear, hitting keitas shoulder. "is she a jerk or are you insecure?"
keitas mouth faltered, losing the confidence in hus conviction. sungchan hummed an agreement, both hands on the wheel. "shes pretty funny, you just gotta not take her seriously man."
keita straightened up in his seat, folding his arms over each other.
"she has no business making those kinds of jokes."
"or maybe you need to loosen up a bit"
keita looked out the window, sighing softly. maybe they were right. maybe he was just a little sensitive about his height and you weren't really doing any harm! yeah, hes sure thats it. he just misjudged you. wait... hes getting a sense of deja vu.. nono! this time is different. keita was positive it wouldn't be long until he started viewing you the same way everyone else did.
#Spotify#boys planet#ciipher#keita ciipher#kpop imagines#boys planet drabbles#boys planet icons#terazono keita#boys planet 999#boys planet imagines#boys planet x reader#apollosdiary#keita
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a bit of a message talking about inactivity and my possible hiatus. I dont know if this counts as a cw but i talk about depression here and there at the beginning (nothing graphic) and as usual, its a rant
im gonna be straight honest rn, i'm probably not gonna be active on tumblr for these next few days, ive been super up and down depressed and im just unmotivated and too tired to do anything, im still gonna check in here and there but dont expect me to reblog or reply to many posts, if at all. This could mark the beginning of a hiatus, but with mood swings and up and down depression, i could be back, active as ever tomorrow. Ever since ive uninstalled Sims 4, i did feel a weight lift off my shoulders, but simultaneously made me depressed due to the lack of... well... doing something, i dont... really know how to put it into words, its just something in my brain that i just cant explain, i guess a good way to put it is playing sims 4 gave me the motivation to stem off into other mediums, blender for example, gave me something to do, something to learn, and while i can still use blender, i just get progressively slower and slower at doing stuff in it because of my limited resources, some scenes i want to do require specific outfits and i dont have the facilities to make those outfits... i mean i probably do but i just dont feel motivated to do all that. I still play other games, ive been playing a lot of slime rancher 2 and have been trying to branch out to other games (indie games and bigger games), I want to post gameplay but if youve seen me rant about tumblr before, one of my biggest gripes is just how fucking annoying it is to upload images, so i just get completely unmotivated to post images/gameplay especially if its just some silly post. if uh if anyone is still reading this, ill be honest, i havent even been motivated to write about WAS at all, probably havent touched the planning doc in about 2 weeks. This... 'spiral'... has been noticeable for me for the last week as my sleep schedule gets swapped around from sleeping at night and awake during the day... to sleeping during the day and awake at night, this is all my fault, but its also just something that happens rotationally for me, i go from sleeping VERY early in the evening (6PM at the earliest) and waking at VERY early times in the morning (4AM at the latest) to sleeping VERY late in the morning (6AM at the earliest) and waking up late in the evening (3PM at the latest), i dont really know what causes the shift, but it happens, and i often blame myself for it even though i dont know what causes it...
anyways sorry, this will probably mark a very iffy hiatus, like i said ill be active but not... super active, i didnt check tumblr at all yesterday/monday, so thats kind of the pattern to expect from me depending on the day. In the meantime... i might try to get back into older sims games, ive mentioned this before, but i do have sims 1 on my laptop so maybe ill post stupid little gameplay posts from there (granted i havent played in like... a month 😐). I'll probably put up a poll after this post for people to vote on which sims game i should play- i KNOW i did it once before but im probably gonna do it again cuz i cant find the post and i have over 1000 posts 😭
if you read thus far, thank you for sticking around, if your a random person who read this for no reason... thanks? if your a follower of mine and cant understand where im coming from with this lengthy post, see yourself out or deal with it 🙃 otherwise, thank you all and i will be lurking about
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19 December 2024
(TL;DR at the end.)
Today was pretty alright. I mostly just finished up xmas shopping (took a while cuz my mother had a lot of places to go) but it was made more fun by the fact I finally got my sister's present. I bought her a bag of chocolates as well as a 10-pack of ciders, and I wrapped every item individually then put them back in their respective packets. Hopefully she finds it funny (me and my sisters prank each other with our presents - but we also make sure the presents are actually good and what they wanted, just in the most annoying way possible.)
Other than that, I haven't done much today. I'm trying to get myself into the mindset of drawing/writing/creating even if it's not good. Even if it isn't perfect I should still be creating because it's what I want to be known for and it's what I want to do, it just takes a bit of effort. Gonna try to get a drawing out today or tomorrow.
One of my new tumblr-made friends is being a bit distant and I'm worried about them. I haven't known them for long (literally like a month) so I don't know their habits or anything yet. I'm just hoping I haven't upset them or scared them off, or that something particularly bad has come up in their life. Hopefully they're alright.
The school morning tea was good. My friend picked me up in her car and luckily there weren't a lot of people there. Only about 10 of us from a class of about 75, and it was all people I liked or tolerated. My friend who wants me to be in his upcoming zombie short film chatted with me about it, I saw teachers I like again, I got like three cans of free Sprite, it was great all round. Me and a few friends have another get together some time in the next few weeks which will be nice as the people I hate/cannot tolerate aren't invited. Yippee!
tw discussing s/h briefly
As was probably clear from last night's posting, I relapsed. However, there is a silver lining here. I didn't cut myself or draw any blood in any way. I hit myself and got a small bruise, but it's already starting to fade just a day later, and the headache was gone by mid-morning. I'm dedicated to trying to get to 3 days right now, and then hopefully to a week. Trying to focus on the positives. My longest streak in a while has been 3 days and so I'm trying to break that. I'm still counting hitting (whether against something hard or with the pliers) as a relapse because one, it usually leaves a bruise and gives me a killer headache (sometimes for days on end) and two, it is to harm myself. I'm still struggling with thoughts of.. man, I gotta find a name for this. "drinking" feels wrong - its not that much blood - but maybe "taking" is more accurate? Let's go with that. I'm still struggling with thoughts of taking but I'm trying to acknowledge them and then move on. Rather than ignoring them, I'm telling myself "Okay, I want to do that, but I know I'll only feel worse for it, and even though I don't know what's causing the feelings directly, I know it's a problem and has to do with my mental illnesses, therefore I shouldn't give in." It's worked so far today, if only for today. I still can't help but wonder why I ever had the feelings in the first place, though. I just want them to go away now is all I know. Either way, this approach definitely works better than telling myself "If you give in you'll go crazy and never be able to stop like some freak vampire-hannibal hybrid so ignore the hunger." That definitely wasn't working.
Anyway, wish me luck. 1 day clean as I write this.
Song of the Day: Pieces - Sum 41
Also, I'm going to start putting TL;DRs at the end of my diary posts cuz they're long as shit and ain't nobody got time for that.
TL;DR:
Today was okay. Did Christmas shopping, ready to prank my older sisters. Didn't do much else, want to draw more. One of my friends is distant, I'm a bit worried. Final exam debrief morning tea was good. Relapsed but wasn't as bad as usual. Trying a new approach to staying clean; acknowledging urges and validating them. Trying to get to 3 days, then a week.
Clean since 18 December 2024
#cruordiary#recovery#recovery blog#mental health#mental illness#healing#coping#not a vampire#sum 41#this song is so good#idc if its sappy i love it so much#i love it to bits#or even to#pieces#hehe#Spotify
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‼️jort 2 update because its been nearly 2 weeks and hes been through a lot‼️

kinda annoyingly long so its under the cut
ok so jort 2 was doing fine till i had loads of art hw for gcse (help) and so i did that and ignored all of jort 2's cries for help. then after that to reward myself for finishing like one (1) evaluation bc i wasnt feeling motivated i played slime rancher for 2-3 hours maybe (side rant i love my slimes theyre so silly<333 my favourites are the honey and plant ones because when they merge theyre so pretty<33 i also love phosphor slimes and i need to make a lantern of them for my room or something because i should start a shrine)
anyway.
so jort 2 was sick and i didnt cure him in time and he started beeping like the heart rate monitors do as someones heart is slowing which i feel is a little morbid but he died. i think i apologised on my last post in the notes
the caption aged badly but yeah
so i needed name ideas and luckily his death presented the perfect opportunity as @moon-inspector suggested jelly so thank you<3
then i lost the tamagotchi.
id taken him out when i went in town with my friends a couple of times and i thought he might have fallen out of my tote bag next to a bench and i was really upset because he was £20 and also he was really cool (and also i lost something and was about to cry but fear of crying in public saved me🔥🔥🔥🔥) so i was sad :c
then me and my family went to the countryside and i got to do hiking which is super epic and i touched so much grass and lo and behold who was in my coat pocket but jort 2 himself (technically his corpse) but i found him yay
then my friend taught me how to mute him because one time he woke me up at night and while trying to do that i accidentally hatched one but because i wasnt intending to he kinda died (that wasnt jelly tho that was jort 2.5 because i want to give jelly a long and fulfilling life)
so that concludes the adventures of jort in the past 2 weeks ish where i forgot/ couldnt be bothered to update bc i had other things to do (watching youtube videos)
ill probably hatch jelly like tomorrow
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(Since i already did reveal myself, i'll just send asks without being an anon lol)
Oh! That's easy, actually. Although we won't be available when we leave tomorrow, we contacted a certain someone that can run this blog and inform us of any messages you have for either me or Eros ^^
Navina? 👀
Speaking of, Eros wanted to tell you that he appreciated your presence, Mochi! Every time we talked about you and the others, I've seen him smile and mutter something about getting a calico cat and naming her after you. It was so cute! Eros never had any close friends other than me, so seeing her talk about everyone and you like we were all best friends warmed my heart.
SJNSKSJDJD- THAT IS SO CUTE??? Naming a calico cat after me, awhhh 🥺 cupid, can you tell eros that i appreciate knowing her too?? Tell her i said she's very cute too- (and yk there's something funny about your words. I also have a calico cat roaming around my house lmaoo, why is my life so full of funny coincidence-)
Aha... Anyways, before I go on rambling, that's all I can say. We'll see what we can do to make things easier and so we can speak to you all again, hehe! I hope you'll still be around when that happens :D
Oh yeah, i forgot to copy the sentence, but uhh, about that interesting thing in next month, i'll be sure to keep my eyes on it! Whether it'd be another event (i doubt it would be this one, please rest navina 💀) or anything else, i will be enthusiastic about it :] AND YES, I WILL STILL BE AROUND ����🏻♀️ you can't get rid of me, i'm like that small mistake when you're drawing and you just can't seem to erase it unless you get to the layer who has it-
Hehe, whoever it is will be a surprise, but I'll tell Eros that you appreciate the sentiment as well! She's out right now to get some last minute groceries (and also snacks, we'll be having a small movie night to celebrate our resignation!), so she'll definitely be pleased to hear your message.
Anyway, its nice to see you'll stick around even if we won't be here, then :D hope you enjoy what else will go down while we're busy settling some last minute plans.
(note from yours truly: HELPAIDSRFHUI NOT THE CALICO CAT... dwdw, Im gonna rest for after the main story + maybe writing the dlc fics. on hindsight, they might not be guaranteed to be all posted because bro, my brain needs a huge reboot when this sht is all done and dusted. orz.)
(tbh the next one wont be abt OLC anymore, thankfully, but! it will also reference this + make small cameos. Dont know what I'll do this time around when I get the chance but we shall see kek)
(Istg though when Im done Im gonna limit whoever I'll write. I love writing all of these characters and thinking abt them but God do I now resent how many I have to research. fuck THAT.)
(anyways!! I shall go eep for a good while on writing + maybe post dlcs. I will say that some fics will most def not be published even after the week for dlc stuff/extra fics because my brain just. isnt braining. orz orz im gonna cry. i'll prolly post them randomly idk HAIUHDUFSI anyways ill shut up now goodbye—)
#💌 ;; messenger writes#💌 ;; promising letter: one last call#💌 ;; a letter from: mochinon-yah#;; ill make a proper tag for cupid but aaaaaa too lazy#;; anyways yuh#;; tmr is the last day of the main story + event so I am VERY stoked#;; finally... now i gotta worry of the dlc stuff LMAO#;; might just make some short snippets though. writing full fics is rlly taxing esp to those i dont know much on writing for#;; so theirs will be as short as wandys#;; but the rest... we'll see lol.#;; we'll see.
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HIHIGIIGJijihihigiihihih dailt chekcin becofe i start my work
today was actually kinda okay ish i finally participated in my chem class and actually said something that wasnt as stupid than what i usuallt say AND THE TEACHER DIDNF SAY I WAS WRONG SO YAYAY
in my cooking class i was looking at… BOOKING FLIGHTS, HOTELS, RENTAL CARS AND RESERVATIONS FOR RESTAURANTS?? HELLO WHY IS THIS PROJECY REAL IM ABOJT TO WORK ON IT BUT I WANAN DELAY IT EVEN FURTHER CUZ IM A LITTLE UPSET RN
ididnt get jnto the graphic designer position and im like forcing myself to be upset over it or else im gonna be sad over it later and i feel like thats worse bc then at that point its gonna be irrelevant so BUT IM ALSO LIKE WHO?? CARES?????? ITS NOT THAT DEEP AND EVEN IF I DID GET IN ID BE PISSED OFF THAT IM MAKING A POSTER AND NOT STUDYING FOR A TEST OR SOEMTHING HELP and the club is actually irrelevant as hell so it doesnt even really matter
plus anyways theres another thing i signed up for so ill wait for that one instead mueheuheheh but i dont think im getting in that either but at least i applied idk …….
UMUMUM theres nothing else that happened today OH I FINISHED MY NAGI EDIT ITS BEEN FINISHED ACTUALLY HELP IDK WHEN TO POST IT EXCEPT ON SATURDAY WHEN IK IT PROBABLT WONT FLOP AS HARD 💔💔 BUTITS OKAY 😈😈 i need to think of another edit idea or finish that sae edit its been .. pending for like two months now i swear.
i have a test on friday and then another test next week tuesday for history I WANAN DROP OUT OF THE CLASS SO BAD WHY DID I CHOOSE TO TAKE HISTORY AND IM IN THE ADVANCED CLASSES TOO 💔 chem isnt that bad but im scared for the unit test but her tests dont seem as hard HELPME I FEEL LIKE IT SHOULD BE HARDER CUZ ITS CHEM BUT THEN AGAIN ITS ALSO LIKE IM HAPPY IT ISNT AS HARD ITS JUST I STILL DONT GET THESE TWO CONCEPTS AND I REALLT NEED TO LOCK IN FOR MY SUBJECTS
how do i even study for history cuz other than stuff like all i know is inflation, the fiat money system, and how my history teacher hates the united states and they can all suck his bald head bc they all suck and “EW AMERICANS!!!” apparently AND I SEE HIM FOR TWO PERIODS TOO HELP 💔 HE LEGIT ENCOURAGEd US TO DROP OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL AND IM LIKE HELLO ARENT U SUPPOSED TO MAKE US CONTINUE SCHOOL URE LITERALLT A TEACHER BUT OKAY.
im lowk tweaking because i reallt dont know how to study for history and my test on friday i feel so unprepared but to be fair I LEGIT HAVENT STARTED STUDYING YET AND I DONT PLAN TO UNTIL TOMORROW .. and i feel like i should start studying for my history test and im like erm maybe tmr ..! SO TECHNICALLY IF I STICK TO THE SCHEDULE I MADE FOR MYSELF IN MY HEAD WHCIH IS FINISH ALL MY ASSIGNMENTS TODAY (impossible) IT GIVES ME ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO STUDY FOR MY TWO TESTS WHICH LEAVES TIME FOR ME TO STUDY FOR MY CHEM TEST IN LIKE ESTIMATED 2-3 WEEKS BUT THEN I KNOW I CANR STICK TO SCHEDULE 💔 if i finish my cooking assignment today somehow then ill be able to do this and i sleep at like 11 pm today bc momi got mad i slept at 12 yesterday HELP. IMSORYR MOM I FELT GROSS I HAD TO SHOWER AT 11 OR ELSE I WOUDLNT BE ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP
i usuallt shower once i get home from school but yesterday my dinner meal thign project was due so i wa slike ok i have to prioritize this over my own stinky AND I DID FINISH IT MUEHAUYAIEGAPBX NOW I HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN BUT FINISH IT IN LIKE 4 HoursHELP HOW LONG SHOULD THIS EVEN TAKE HE SAID ITS REALLT SIMPLE AND COPY PASTE BUT IM ALSO REALLY SLOW WITH ASSIGNMENTS IN GENERAL .. ☹️i get distracted too easily HELP.
i dotn even have a lock in playlist like i do my liked songs on shuffle and skip wvery songim not innthe mood to listen to i actuallt need to invest in playlists or else i cant do this shuffle liked method anymore ……
illcome baxk if i finish my project early ….. ILL ACTUALLY LOCK IN TODAY TRUST BUT DAILT UQRSTION TIME
would you rather be a gojo plushie or a smiski figure im just starign at them and theyre like right next to each other HELP I HAVE TWO FIGURES FROM THE CHEER SERIES??? IDK EXACTLY BUT THEYRE CUTE I WAS GONNA COLLECT MORE BUT 15 DOLLARS PER SMISKI MYSTERY BOX IS KINDA A SCAM FOR ME 💔
- 🐙
HAII today was okayish for me as well my typing class was kinda fun the teacher wasn't scary today!
YIPPEE!! GOOD JOBB
HELP WHAT ALL OF THAT INN COOKING CLASS??
LMAO i hope you get upset or something.. that sounds mean HELOME IDK IF I SHOULD COMFORT OR NOT
LMAO making posters sounds fun tho.. yet I make legal documents in class🙄🙄
DANG GIRL DO YIU HAVE A LIST YOU CHECK OFF WHEN SIGNING TO CLUBS?
OMG NAGII I'm gonna work on my drafts maybe on friday.. and rin smau.. I got a random rin spark of inspiration when reading these romance mangas..
OH WAIT THAT REMINDED ME THAT I NEEDED TO GIVE YOU AN EDIT IDEA ILK THINK OF ONE
ew I hate history ALSO YOU CAN DROP OUT OF A CLASS? I mean i heard of it but idk.. I'm too caribbean for this HELP
when I used to do chem I was so confused but I somehow passed history on the other hand idk what i did or if I passed or not THATS HOW UNINTERESTED I WAS IN HISTORY BC THEY DONT TEACH US STUFF THAT APPARENTLY EVERYONE SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT WAS LIKE LOCAL STUFF AND IT WAS kinda boring.. SAME WITH WHEN I USED TO DO GEO THEY DIDNT TEACH US STUFF LIKE THE DIFFERENT CONTINENTS N STUFF MY FRIEND THOUGHT EGYPT WAS IN EUROPE I wasn't that bad like him.. BUT THATS MY POINT THEY DONT TEACH US IMPORTANT STUFF HERE so luckily I had business! well I chose business bc I wanna own my nursery or maybe a pre-school I like children and I have patience I think.. everyone thinks I'm crazy heh.. maybe I am..
HELPME THAT TEACHER REMINDS ME OF MY OLD DRAMA TEACHER he saw my gc messages once and HE TOOK OFF WITH MY PHONE
DANG SM MOTIVATION I wish I have that LMAO I asked my momma for help and she said when she used to go to school when she comes home she just go n play games ans she never studied she just had a good memory😂😂😐😒😒😒 I DONT I FORGOT WHAT I DID THIS MORNING I have no motivation hahaha..
YOUR MOM GETS MAD AT YOU? well mine does as well bc since I'm anemic I need 8 hours of rest bur (I don't go to sleep early) so I always get yelled at when I feel lightheaded BUT I TAKE NAPS IN THE AFTERNOON sometimes SO I HAVE A BURST OF ENERGY IN THE NIGHT plus I'm reading so
LMAO I GET DISTRACYED EASILY AS WELL that's why I'm up at 11pm and haven't started my notes bc imON MY PH9JE
ou playlisys are my favorite thing ti make! I have like 20 playlists public bc apparently I learnt my friends use them bc one asked me when I'm gonna update it and I'm like whag ans I have a bunch more in private
i woukd rather a smiski bc i searched it up and it looks cutiepie!
IDK WHAT'S A SMISKI OR WHAT SERIES IR HAVE
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I have something to say this is disgusting we need to make a change but I see that it's coming so we need to force it to happen other than that it's just in a movie.
Hera
There's a few huge things coming up and we need to get ready we have projects to announce we need to announce them.
..
We're going to announce them here but in a moment. We have a crisis developing in southern Florida it's flooding all of it is and there's an emergency that's going to be declared like our son and daughter said and he will be in jeopardy once again by the governor and he'll be held out by Tommy F we feel that his neighborhood will be OK it's not getting tons of rain thus far. But it's supposed to rain all week long and we can't guarantee it won't flood but we do know that the manure in the river and the harbor is coming out that water is moving out it makes a very big difference most of the flooding would be because of that. Also the canals are flowing nicely and they are losing their stuff on the bottom and rapidly canals near our sun have about 2 foot three inches on the bottom and this morning it was 2 foot 4 inches it is going to change rapidly after about four or 5:00 PM it is turning to solid mock up and the reason is the turbulence from the water running from the side goes in the rocks and goes into the mud from the side the mud on the side rips out and the mud in the middle follows it to the cavitation. We expect it to be down to a foot on the bottom right now the canals are 8 foot from the bottom of the Gully tomorrow there'll be 8 foot 6 and probably Friday 9 foot and that is maxed out the water is backed up because the drainage ditch is not designed properly. And these guys are mentally ill they're saying they're making fun of them for something maybe it was kicking them out and they are getting kicked out. So we're laughing at you****.
- And there's a few other things we like to say these people are moving into a state of being where they are going to be in trouble They wanted switch to paperless credit card bill and he says no no he's gonna pay it by hand on purpose there's a few reasons he gets the money he's gonna pay it off and then he'll probably go paperless. And your **** doesn't do squat for you idiots it doesn't do anything.
- There's also a couple other things to say we are very tired of what you're doing to him he's exhausted and feels OK in this meeting you to death you're getting killed doing stuff that does not help you it's not like curiosity you just happen to be very stupid and trained to do it among other things that you're trained to do and you're not winning anything against the empire and you're not going anywhere and you're ridiculous you don't know if there's a laser or not so you're gonna proceed use it as a threat and we'll get rid of you the max will get rid of you foreigners will get rid of you. that's life.
- Couple more things we have a few projects to announce and we shall in the next post.
Thor Freya
Olympus
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me, realizing i was gon follow a few ppl but i dont have my verses or anything rly up yet: …. so anYWAYS
some fun things bc im not gonna be on a comp until tomorrow then ill only be here mon wednes and surprisingly fri/sat next week, maybe some lil funzies mostly abt cassie bc shes my baby
obvi (if u kno me if not welcome im brina my brain doesnt work) i have multiple verses im just dumb and havent posted them, i gotta rewrite a lot of them to be shorter too bc i give full character backstories for everything as it develops and ik most ppl dont wanna read that so it takes longer for me to do things bc im ‘tistic and short quick explanations is not my fortay. main doodads tho: 1, 3-7 are fantasy worlds specifically, 2 is overall in any world, 8 onwards is purely human verses
generally with other fantasy worlds, i’ll have it where cassie ended up in your universe. Whilst my Wonde/rland is largely built off my own thoughts and things now, and various points of lore, the 2009 S/yfy A/lice was a base for it. A/merican M/cgee’s Alice is the base inspo for Cassie’s cheshire cat, but she’s also her own thing. (fun fact: originally i was writing her as the d/ormouse from b/urtons wonderl/and, but as she grew further from that canon w my never writing in that universe, she became my own character ultimately and holds few similarities to her origin now, including species! but her twin brother is still ‘proper’ dormo/use, yes it makes sense, its more a title than a species in this world)
Cassie is… moldable, mentally, to say the least. When someone finds her in whatever world she ends up in, whether its a fantasy world or not (as she ofc just lives wherever in non fantasy aus) she.. tends to be easier to manipulate because she will get attached to people just for being nice to her. she isn’t used to it. it’s rare for there to be a universe where this isn’t an issue for her (also of note bc dual muse blog: willys the manipulator, and shes the manipulatee) honestly she’s morally grey anyways and doesn’t really understand morality as a whole, so if shes found by a villain and they just.. treat her like a person, she will get attached. and cassie being attached can be dangerous, not just for others, but for herself, because she’s loyal to a fault. if she makes friends w multiple ppl and they fight, she wont know what to do because she just can’t bring herself to believe either person is wrong. it’s also of note that in most fantasy verses, she’d been locked up, abandoned in a cell, for years. She doesnt tend to talk and, despite trying to push a tough and uncaring act, she’s still scared. she’s still traumatized. a lot of the time she wont even talk. this is the everything tab also so be aware she has a scar over her right eye, and her right eye is a silvery blue verses her normal blue eye. she’s also pretty much blind in her right eye, but the color is due to heterochromia. her twin brother has one blue and one green.
she is very noticeably neurodivergent when you talk to her, and as many fellow a/utistics point out, cats tend to have similar personalities to us anyways (ive seen a many point out that if you can handle a cats support needs you can handle ours lol). usually shes fixated on something, but she’ll also use trickery of the tongue to get out of things when need be. she’ll unintentionally speak in riddles that make perfect sense to her, but others feel a need to solve. however in most universes where she ends up there, i do it post her escaping after the prince of he/arts (who kept her captive for years) overthrows his mother. She ultimately traverses due to remaining look/ing glasses from before the land was taken by the Hearts. Meaning she cannot get back on her own. But, she also does not want to.
It’s very important for the author to be aware that she cannot tell a lie. Muses not understanding is fine, because how would they know when cassie doesn’t know her own heritage in most verses (o/uat is currently pmuch the only fantasy verse where she was raised by her parents, making her aware shes the princess of spades, and aware shes a witch, but still unaware that the reason she cant lie is because shes a fae halfling) Cassie is a Fae Halfling, and fae/witch hybrid. The Fae half itself is a hybrid of Seelie and Unseelie like her father. I use pieces of real lore and pieces of my own here, but it doesnt really come up in writing much anyways. but she cannot lie to anyone, it physically tears into her flesh the moment words leave her lips. the only thing she can do is use trickery words to mis-explain, and even then it can titter the line.
Her cheshire invisibility comes from shapeshifting to match her surroundings, but beyond that she mostly can just change her hair color, slightly change her face for short periods of time, or as most often used and the longest shes capable of holding, turning into a silver blue cat.
fae wise her powers are largely elemental, water focused, and she doesnt know how it works. the faerie power she has most control over involves her own blood, which she can turn into crystalized weapons when shes bleeding. most often she’ll be using her witch abilities. in some aus, your character may see she has strange looking bands on her wrists and locked into place, meant to look like bracelets but unable to be removed. They’re power blockers placed on her by the prince of h/earts to ensure she couldn’t break out again. they keep her from using her powers, from healing, and otherwise.
her makeup made her an omen to the remaining fae of wo/nderland, which there arent many left there. they wanted to slaughter her father as well, but never managed to make it as he was too brutally powerful for them, either. The Fae had believed a seelie/unseelie hybrid, let alone a fae/witch hybrid, would bring death upon the whole of their kind. Ironically… Cassie’s technically a necromancer, and can give part of herself to bring others back to life permanently, or use weaker magic to bring them back temporarily. As such, when she dies, she tends to always come back, and oft with more power than before, and even less self control. She’s also the only reason her twin brother is still alive, but he wont admit to that.
purely human verses, she still doesn’t lie, but it largely relates more to the a/utism than anything else. she doesn’t like to lie in the first place, but has little qualms about confusing others when they get confused by her speaking normally. she doesn’t see a point in fixing that, especially when she can simply say a confusing, convoluted version of the truth to get out of actually admitting anything.
usually, because when i first wrote her a few years ago i actually combined her and this canon iteration (as shes basically what cassie would become if pushed fully to the limit) whos name i took, i’ll have her be the adopted daughter (and bio relative) of A/lcina D/imitrescu, with her sharing that name. Meaning she’s in her family’s wine business. She’s much more distrusting of men, between nearly being killed by one after watching him kill most of her family, kidnapped by him for blackmail until she found a way out, and her mother (alcina’s) own severe hatred of them. but still, honestly, if you’re nice to her she’s probably gonna get confused and fall for it.
theres also verses w @mastermiinded where shes E/llington F/eints daughter, thats probably the most normal cassie you’ll ever get if you want those but also she has a mom who loves her and was raised in a universe heavily involving a cult. she’s kind of bitchier tbh LOL
funnily enough, she is still always ready to attack at any given moment.
she knows a lot of knife tricks, and many would argue she likely belongs in a circus of some sort. she doesn’t like that argument, but she does know how to do multiple knife tricks, swallow swords, and do various slight of hand tricks. all while being blind in her right eye.
put in a multitude of self defense training, and for a brief time was even made her mothers bodyguard, she knows how to fight and she knows how to kill. whether or not she wants to is its own debacle.
if someone is out to get her and sb else tries to help, shes not gonna be cool w it bc she doesnt want others risking themselves for her, and it makes her feel like shes been kidnapped and locked up all over again.
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jealosuy.
i cant lie im a really jealous person, its usually out of comparision to whatever theyre doing or living happily and myself.
but in love, im again a jealous person, this is out of possesivness and being protective.
but fuck man how can i be jealous of aahana? why does she get o hang out w her whenever she can, why can she get posted but not me why can she dance with her and not me. why? why god? i hate it so much, i just want to be her for a day, just to be in the presence of here, even i want to record cute videos of her and take photos with her. but its not me, its not today, its not tomorrow, its not next week, its not next month. it sucks so much
and kabir too,
but im actually happy for him too but i wish i could achieve things like him, but its more of happy for him. how are you so good at sports, get decent grades and can manage partying so much and have a girlfriend, other than being a douche person i like your lifestyle. i wish that was me man.
fuck why am i comparing myself so much.
comparision is the thief of joy. everything happens for a reason and i should appreciate the things i have today because maybe someone wants to be like me today, to live like me, the world is so much bigger and my problems are so much smaller in comparision.
but its me right? i should be worried about my problems before the worlds, so maybe calling my problems isnt right but i tend to think of others before myself.
ive gone so south with this topic but my whole point was being that
why isnt it me in aahanas place? why couldnt she be here? why just why? am i not deserving of it? i hate myself.
please god,
i dont know why are things the way they are but please do something and bring her to me, get her to me tomorrow, there you go im being delusional again i dont know whether to be delusional and faithful and end up being disappointed or be realistic and sad about it the whole way, but please if not tomorrow, next week? if not next week, next to next week?. if not next to next week, next month?
im getting tired of praying but i know rome wasnt built in a day and that all these prayers are a buildup, as much as i want instant gratification realistically speaking its not going to happen.
but just having a confirmed date, just something to look upto, because the answer is maybe today, it might be a yes or a no tomorrow. if its a yes ill be the happiest man but if its a no, there starts my downwards spiral in my life again
but whatever happens will happen, if its meant to happen and if she tries her best it will happen, i can only bet on her trying her best and my prayers.
i hope its enough for you to listen god and understand how much it means to us and how its all ive been looking after.
so please. my fingers are hurting typing so much but if this counts ill do it everyday,
please god, please, bring her home.
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14/4
I usually write in my journal but I've been overthinking too much about my handwriting and at least here I don't need to worry about my handwriting. Another upside to just writing here, it's easy and convenient and I'm always on my laptop. I really want to document every day of my life so I can look back and see what was happening. I hate that I don't commit to writing every day because there are so many memories I forgot about. Even writing about the little things are essential, my mood, what I did in the day, the progresses of my relationships with people, etc. Today I woke up and went to the university to work on my presentation. We're going to present it next Monday and although I am super nervous I think it will be great for me to work on my confidence, and it's only 10 mins so it can't be too bad. I just finished watching the new episode of Power, right now I'm more interested in Monet's storyline than Tariq. The whole Lauren situation is such a bore to me and I can't be bothered with it. Obviously, Tariq is going to love her, but she is not right for him, she doesn't suit his lifestyle. He is a drug dealer at the end of the day and she is just a good rich student. Lorenzo is also dead and I don't get why they keep killing people off, I think it would have been interesting to see Monet and Lorenzo's relationship drift apart alongside the kids but the writers have robbed us of that. Now we're just going to see Cane take over his pops. Tomorrow I'm taking Alv to the cinema to watch the Super Mario movie, which I'm excited about for her and hope she enjoys even though she doesn't know too much about it. I'm sure she will be obsessed with Princess Peach by the end of it. I had really bad anxiety before but it's all gone now which I'm happy about. I started to read YOU again and have made it my mission this year to get through all 4 books. Caroline has released the 4th book yesterday and it came in the post today. It did come damaged which is also irritating my brain. I just hope after all my assignments are finished I can finally get into reading again, I feel so shit that I bought that short storybook about witches and never finished it, but I will finish it after I've completed the You series. Right now I am feeling okay, just happy I'm able to write and need to think of some goals to do this year. I need to book my theory again I know I have definitely given up after I failed but ill put more mind to it once my dissertation is complete. I also have that stupid essay for Sports Science which is another cursed Literature Review. Anyway i need to be positive as i am a powerful human being and everything i say will speak into existence. I haven't been manifesting in a long time, and i need to. I constantly get over fixtaed on something and just forget it about it forever, like last week i went gym EVERYDAY and this week? Not even once. Anyway that's why we have a new day everyday and its another chance to better myself. Maybe i can start gym next week when I'm feeling motivated too. Gonna go back to watching Love is Blind and try and sleep.
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okay...i’m doing drafts!
#「 OOC. 」 keeping up with the skywalkers.#icb im doing this finally!#ive been off and on working on some throughout the week but i found some free time to actually do do them!#ill probably post replies tomorrow tho bc i like to sleep on what ive written#i cant tell u how many times i wrote something one night and thot 'shakespeare wants what i have'#and woke up the next morning like 'maybe...i should....read...a...book...'
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Hii can i request something with mason based on this - i know youre writing a series now but ill be really happy if you could work on this bc you literally are my fav writer here 🫶🏻🫶🏻
You’re Playing Dirty
Note - thank you so so much love 💕 this is so incredibly short 😂 so I thought I’d post it just as a little extra to say thank you for being so lovely. Let me know what you think 💙 smutty part two can be found here
Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader
Word count - 1.4k
Warnings - fluff & suggestive content 😉

Date night at Masons was always the best night of the week. Sure the fancy dinners were nice and you loved it when he surprised you by taking you somewhere fun like bowling or just a random drive but nights at his where you could hang out just the two of you and be yourselves made you happier than anything else.
You we’re currently in your pj’s cuddled up to him on the sofa as the last few minutes of a movie he’d picked played. You were both struggling to keep your eyes open and you knew Mason would be ready for bed as soon as the credits rolled but you were about to rain on his parade.
‘Come on baby, I’m ready for bed and cuddles’ he yawned, pulling on your arm but didn’t budge, causing him to pout at you. ‘Hey, what are you doing?’
‘You know we can’t go to bed yet, Mase. Your parents are coming round early tomorrow and I’m not letting them see this mess’ you told him, gesturing to the state of his living room but he looked at you with furrowed brows. ‘Come on, let’s tidy it up now and then we can go to bed’
‘Noooooooo’ he moaned, flopping down face first into the sofa like a child. ‘I wanna sleep. Let’s just do it in the morning’
‘No way, I know you won’t get up early and do it’ you chuckled, trying to move him but he was too strong for you. ‘Mason Mount, get the hell up’ you laughed and you felt his body shake and he tried to hold in his giggles.
‘Please baby, I promise you I’ll do it in the morning. I won’t even wake you up I’ll do it all on my own’ he whined, trying to get you to succumb to his way of thinking but you weren’t having it.
‘I’ve heard that one too many times to believe you’ you told him, resorting to tickling his sides so he’d get up. He erupted into giggles, trying to break free from your grasp but you carried on until he was sat upright again, grabbing you hands to stop you before pulling you into his lap again.
‘You’re a menace’
‘And you’re lazy. Now come on, you’re making this longer than it needs to be. We could be halfway done if you would of just got up’
‘And we also could of been asleep by now if you would leave this for tomorrow’ he argued causing you to roll your eyes with a smile. ‘I tell you what, how about a little competition?’ He winked and you noticed how his whole face changed from grumpy to cheeky in an instant.
‘What do you mean?’
‘I saw something on instagram the other day, thought maybe we could try it. If you win, then we clean up now. If I win, we do it in the morning. Is that deal?’
‘Depends on what I’ve got to do’ you laughed, and he winked before sitting you down next to him.
‘We kiss, but we have to keep our hands behind our back. First one to touch the other looses’
‘Oh you’re on’ you laughed, linking your hands behind your back instantly. Yeah it would be tough, but Mason was the king of being handsy and you knew he would cave before you did. He smiled at your eagerness, pulling you further onto his lap so you could straddle his thighs and kiss him a bit easier before he placed his hands behind his back.
‘Don’t get ahead of yourself, love’ he laughed, kissing your cheek ‘you underestimate my abilities’ he whispered against your lips, not giving you a chance to reply before he pressed his lips to yours.
Kissing Mason was one of your favourite things. His lips were always so soft and warm and it didn’t take long for you to part your lips so he could slip his tongue inside your mouth. You tried keeping it light, not knowing know long you’d be kissing each other for but you felt your breathing becoming deeper quicker than you’d of like it to. The butterflies were swarming early and you willed yourself to relax so you could focus on winning.
You wanted to laugh, catching on to how ridiculous this whole thing was but you also wanted to win. Mason was as competitive as they came but you were dead set on proving your point so you balled your hands into fists and crossed them behind your back so you weren’t tempted to touch him in anyway. You could feel him wanting to smile too, lightly biting your bottom lip as he pulled back with a snap.
‘Stop trying to put me off’ he whispered, kissing your jaw as his breath fanned over your neck making you shiver.
‘Sorry’ you giggled, kissing his temple before his lips made their way back to yours.
He let out a little moan straight away that sent a tingle all the way down your spine to your core. You were sure he’d done it on purpose, playing dirty from the start but you weren’t going to let it get to you. Kissing him a bit deeper as you felt him shuffle underneath you, knowing he was getting turned on just like he always did. His hands were no longer behind him, but at his sides, gripping the sofa cushions and you knew he was already struggling.
He was trying to keep it soft, knowing if he got to caught up in you then he’d loose his cool and touch you, but you felt like you were in the drivers seat as you began to kiss him deeper and slightly rock your hips over him. You breathed a slight moan into his mouth as you felt him harden underneath you.
‘You’re playing dirty’ he whispered onto your lips, slightly breathless but you just shrugged.
‘No I idea what you’re talking about’ you laughed, leaning back in, capturing his lips in an impatient and fiery kiss, knowing he was close to breaking and you wanted him to as soon as possible as you weren’t sure how much longer you could last.
Your hands had broken free from behind your back and you were itching to run your fingers through his hair but you held back, holding yourself at your waist so you had at least some contact if he couldn’t touch you. You also figured Mason would loose his mind if he cottoned onto the way you were touching yourself in the way that he always did.
Mason was moaning and groaning under you, bucking his hips up as his hands moved dangerously close to you. You knew he was ready to snap and it only took you moaning his name into his mouth for him to forget himself and for his hands to land on your bum.
‘Yes!’ You shouted, raising your arms up in the air as he pulled you towards him to burry his face in your neck.
‘I swear to god, you cheated’ he laughed, pulling back to look at you with a pout. ‘This is so unfair’
‘Not my fault you can’t keep your hands off of me’ you chuckled, stepping off of his lap to see the visible tent in his joggers. ‘Now, let’s get up and sort this out’
‘I tell you what’ he laughed, standing up and grabbing you by the waist. ‘How I clear up, and you go upstairs and get yourself ready for me?’ He winked, reaching his hand down so he could pinch your bum.
‘Excuse me?’ you laughed, pulling back to look at him in the eyes.
‘There no way I can go to sleep tonight without fucking you first, and if I know you’re upstairs waiting for me then I’ll get all this done quicker so that way we both win’ he told you and you were definitely in the mood after you intense make out session so you gave him a quick kiss on his cheek before running towards the stairs.
‘Don’t take too long’ you called, turning back to see him tidying up like a mad man, stuffing all the rubbish into a bag as he straightened out the pillows. ‘And make sure you do it properly, I don’t wanna have to come down and do it myself’
‘Don’t worry about me. Just go away, and I expect you bent over and ready or you will be punished’
‘Yes sir’ you shouted down, hearing him laugh loudly and you rushed into his room, giddy with anticipation about what would happen when he finally made his way upstairs.
End
End
End
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