#ill never get over that casting
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Deneuve & Huppert
#catherine deneuve#isabelle huppert#sisters#8 femmes#ill never get over that casting#it is perfection#iconic actress#and such a natural chemistry
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every time i read “six nobodies are about to step into the spotlight and reload all the action” i feel an emotion i cannot describe and idk what that says about me
#i am genuinely mentally ill about never stop blowing up#i’m getting sad over the finale and it isn’t even out yet#idk what im going to do when it does end#can we please get this cast in the dome again i love them so much#dimension 20#never stop blowing up#reese’s pieces
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I'm not jealous that mcm london got a dnd game with the bg3 guests that looked like the best time ever.... I'm not jealous *at all*
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#neil newbon#yes im seeing most of the cast in a couple of weeks but they probably wont plsy dnd#also no sam beart or tim downie#ill never get over it
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#OUghh... I've been really sick the past few days like not able to keep food down and had to go to the hospital#to get iv fluids and etc. to stay hydrated lol...#perhaps some sort of stomach virus or something. but still very grrrr for it to happen in the middle of the evil summer of#course#when everything is hot and uncomfortable anyway.. I really wanted to get a sims video and costume pictures finished this week and keep#up writing like 1000 ish words a day for my game. but.. alas... the universe was like... I Think Not#I at least have been able to have some tea and juice and applesauce and like 4 saltine crackers today so#I always think it's funny when you're ill what sort of little things count as successes#like on any normal day eating a few crackers would just be something you don't even give a second thought#to . But when you're really sick it's like .. WOW.. I ate TWO crackers.. amazing.. huzzah... I should get an award certainly#call the press and alert them. I should be in the newspaper headlines for this harrowing feat. etc. lol#I still feel very shaky and weak though.. but am like... hhhhh... when can I work on my projects again...#Also I literaly never leave the house or have contact with anyone so maybe it's not a virus and was more food poisioning or something#since I'm not sure where I'd get a virus even but... regardless... stinky#just complaining since I suppose that is what personal blogs are for lol. I'm a private person in the sense of wanting to proect my identi#ty and like.. I dont want an alexa in my house listening to me all the time and I dont tag my real location on social media or share photos#that could reveal the front of my house or etc. etc. But in all other senses I really don't beleive in holding stuff in. Because it will#just fester. especially when it has to do with other people (like relationship issues or something) but even when its just stuff that only#has to do with you. If something annoys me then I shall let it be openly known. if I'm bothered it will be clear. etc.#Which I guess makes me seem like a Hater And Complainer but I guess I just feel like its better over all to explain and express openly#than to just silently stew and hold everything in and then probably feel worse for it later or something.#Expressing annoyance is kind of like casting the concept off from yourself and releasing it into the wild so that you're not harboring it#anymore. all grievances must be aired eventually. etc. this is a Pro complaining zone lol#If you feel like shit dont hide it. just go 'man I feel like shit'. etc. etc. Cast it off into the universe. be free#ANYWAY... aughhh......... the wizard has fallen ill in his stinky little tower.. pacing the stone floors in tattered robes. hair disheveled#. carefully sipping a single cup of tea over the course of an hour lest drinking too fast upset his fragile stomachs againe..
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grgrhgahahh i wanna read more pokespe but i cant do it on my phone and im not unpacking my stuff until the morning
#this is not a real issue i am plenty entertained rn and also am going to be going#to bed soon anyways. i just am rlly in pksp mood#im in a pkmn mood in general lol ive been reading reguri fics as previously stated#but also i got back into legends arceus earlier today which i havent played in TWO YEARS. which is crazy#and man i fucking loveee playing pkmn i rlly hope they make the next#mainline game not half baked. i didnt get scarlet and violet bcuz of that :(#i had a playthrough of it in the bg but. its not the same#it makes me sad that im not up to date like i dont know any of the new#pokemon i dont know anything about SV's region or characters or story#i want to though. maybe ill get around to actually sitting down and watching a playthrough at some point#i also want to get caught up with pokespe in my reread so my first#experience w SV might be thru spe. which is weird to think about#thats never been the case for me with a pkmn game before#i mean. in terms of just being familiar w the game not playing it myself#i have not played every mainline pkmn game lol#my first one was pokemon pearl. which i never beat. but after that i#got alpha sapphire which i was CRAZYYYY obsessed with. i played that game to the bone til there was#literally nothing left to do other than grind to lvl 100 for the hell of it#pokemon moon is INCREDIBLY special to me for a number of reasons#mainly that it was my first pkmn game that i ANTICIPATED. i remember watching the trailers#over and over. every time they dropped new info i was eating it up. i remember when the starters final evos#were finally revealed i was so excited. and ofc the INSANITY that was the red and blue reveal. good times#but yes i similarly played the shit out of moon til there was nothing left to do. and it was the first one#where i was INCREDIBLY invested in the story. i cared and still care about the alola casrt#soooooo much they were literallyyy my friends. i drew them sooo much. and ofc lillie was one of my#most specialest little blorbos ever. i was in LOVE with her as a kid. it was serious#anyways and then i played pokemon sword which i also love dearly. i beat the main game but i#actually still havent finished the dlc.... but i also care very deeply about the galar cast and drew them a lot as well#and thats all not mentioning from my years long obsession with pokespe lol. but anyways yes#serena.txt
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this light and shadow duo shit is SERIOUS!!!
#knb#reezdoodles#idk how to do it in color so. ive resorted to black and white#me and grayscale r actually besties!!! been working w them for ten or so years 🤝🏼#ill make it have color later...#whether its the red and blue gradient thing or like. their actual coloes#colors*#kurokos head is at such a weird angle im kicking myself over it#also no i never learned how to draw ears in 3d... its a flat 2d shape for me.....#if u ask me where the lights coming from u get a 🤷🏻♀️ answer#for kagami its from the bottom#for kuroko its from behind??#all u need to know is kagamis casting a shadow on kuroko okay#urgrhrjrhj i might go back in and fix it while its still in black and white#im almost certainly gonna go back in and change the light source for kagami#even tho he looks cool as shit rn#me: ill make the shading simplistic and harsh#me: nevermind ill make the shading a super long and complex process like always!#rips hair out
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I'm sorry but I don't think I'll ever be able to recover from this week's premiere pics. like ever
#sab2 priemere had me crying on the floor#aotv japan premiere had me questioning my reality#soc cast is so prefect#louis is a dream#ill never get over these people wtf
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Blog(ger) Shift
I am, so weird and bad about original posting and about reblogging and about saving things on Tumblr and that's why my blog has been mostly inactive or the lurking consumer type. But I don't want my fears about putting myself out there, being seen and known, articulating myself well vs. having been told my whole life I'm too wordy and opinionated vs. not managing to articulate myself well enough to justify being verbose and passionate, etc. to continue to control me so much.
So for my new specific-interest sideblog that I'm not locking, I hope it being themed will help me with making more original posts and reblogging, and I'm publicizing that here to push myself and also welcome interaction.
RIP to my other public specific-interest sideblog and the fandom sideblog I took over for someone that I didn't take further and to my private sideblogs that were meant to make me reblog and save and say stuff because they would be personal and just for me. I still would like to make those happen and reblogging and posting things that matter to me here, and oh my heart for the content ideas I haven't been working on, but they're pipedreams with how I'm (not) managing my life and I keep kicking those cans down the road.
To the person who I developed a real relationship with as a beta but who by now I probably count as having disappeared on with how long it's been and my not coming back to explicitly say I still can't help and don't know when I can, I am so sorry. I'm being a coward languishing in hoping I can tell you soon that I can get back into beta-ing for you and talking, but that's turned into me not talking to you because I'm waiting to be able to say something positive. Hopefully my vaguing here can help push me into talking to you, or at least this is here for you to read if you happen to see it; and I want you to know you absolutely can talk to me, can call me out, and if you're so gracious as to still want to be friends with me and just chat despite my dropping being your beta, I'm here for you and still want to be your friend even if I don't know if I'll have the spoons to be a good one and I know my saying that preemptively isn't apology or justification enough.
Honest assessment, I'm going to curse and say my living situation and work have both become even more of a shitshow, and with those things in mind I can't begin to imagine handling a real project until basically literally a year from now.
Which segues back into the main topic of this post. My goal isn't to have my new sideblog be like an active mainblog nor to abandon this blog—people interested in that blog can and should still interact with me here given how primary vs. secondary blogs on Tumblr work, and in terms of using that blog to help make me be a better Tumblr user, I think I should make certain original posts here and reblog them there as opposed to them being original there. With my mental-emotional and time resources, I want that blog to be "active" for a given definition of active, but really I think I should see my objective as "clear out tabs and likes and photos and lists and notes and drafts, etc. from the last four months" by saving stuff there, as opposed to my goal being the original posts I want to make there, and actually my long-term goal should be to use that momentum to do the same for older digital and physical storage that hasn't been lost or stolen. In my failure to be an interesting person, do I at least manage to be fascinating as a basket-case? Ha. But, also, as expressed above the Read More, the exercise of my danmei/Chinese sideblog is supposed to be a foray into me allowing myself to be an interesting person.
#my stuff#Ok I think there were just the two posts so far to be reblogged from here to my side blog#At this point I think I can determine the amount of “me/original” put into them warrants the My Stuff tag per how I think I meant to use it#But I'm not adding the tag to those posts and am instead letting people know they should check my sideblog and the Main tag there#which actually means search for Main because I think not everything will show up since Tumblr only organizes by the first five tags?#how long have I mistakenly thought only the first five tags showed in the Tumblr-wide tags but that the others would still work on blogs oo#and probably danmei related posts will be original on the sideblog and Chinese related posts will be related here#Now back to the tags from before I went over those two posts#lol at my private blogs that have drafts but nothing posted or reblogged#I stand by my aesthetics designing all of these though#will have to do some thinking on headers and icons and blog titles/descriptions if I end up getting to the point of#clearing up and saving stuff for interests I didn't already make sideblogs for#And it's funny (sad) that for the fandom that I thought would be lasting for me personally and for fandom as a whole and I made an ao3feed#blog for given that and not realizing someone else already had after ao3feeds broke and because of my thoughts on how to organize for Tumbl#I'll still be interested for beta-ing for my friend and in my content ideas that will probably never see fruition#but I feel less than for any other fandom like I will want to go back and reread and I think that some ill feelings from this fandom must'v#affected me more than I thought. Hopefully things are more positive though because while I'm not feeling so much thinking about my fav fic#when I cast my mind about for other good writing and beautiful stories I do feel more urge and drive to reread#Hopefully it's that I still love that fic but am fatigued on the rereads I've already given it but I still have the spark of love for the#fandom and perspective will help me focus back on fondness for the community especially remembering that higher level of and more#contemporary involvement were why I could reach the threshold of having more negative experiences
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@cast-you-dxwn
⛧
Continued from here 《
Creating a subtle suggestion of defeat. A constant variable in ʜᴀᴛʀᴇᴅ.
A dance in WAR, spewing vitriol in the face of machismo. The incessant, snarled phrases of
F̵̛̥͐̅̎͋̈͋͊͑̚Ȕ̴̢̜̙̂͐̾͌̓̑͒̀͝ͅC̸̨̗͓̹͔͓̆͠K̸̲̈́͐͆̍͌̈͊ ̶̹͍̞̱͈̠̉̀̄̈́̈́͂̽̍Y̸͍̱͇̩̫̥̺͚͚̣͊̈́͊͑͛̀̽͑̽Ȍ̴̥̝̳͛̚͝U̵͉̗͚̩̤̜̻͙͂̓̇́͘̕͜͠͠͝ͅ ̸͚̉̆F̵̜̥̯̣̽́͌̀̄̊̉͆͝U̴̼͉̪͇̰̅͆̏̾̐͝͝Ç̵̰͈̪͇̭̏̓͒̀͘͝K̷̢̳̺̖̼̦̞̘̞̊͂̾ ̶̪͓̌̊Ý̷̲͈̦̳̪̜̤̽͘͜͝Ŏ̶̫̻̝̊̽̇̈́͋̉U̷̡̼͚̣̰͗́͗͒̕̕ ̷̣̯̠̺͍͌̅̀̾F̷̤̫̲̻̜̲͇͕̱̋̃͊̾̒͜͠͝Ų̵̠̿C̸̳͈̱̦̻̬͇̩̣͂̍̿̆̑̊̅̇̌̏K̸̹̙͎͓̫̳̊̓͆ ̵̛̝͙͉̝̪̣̣͖̙̀̒͘Ý̴̧̝̥͖̠̻̤̳̪͐̆̀͘̚O̸͇̙̞͖̹͈͍̪̾͆Ü̴̗͚̦̻̞͓̗̘
" Oh, my darling brother-in-law. Did you assume this was for you? Are you so idiotic to imagine I would act in such a sloppy manner? "
Without hesitation, she'd wipe the blade off with her fingers. The taint of anything that may have happened is none of his FUCKING BUSINESS. In regards, she'd keep those true dagger eyes on his face. A slip of the blade conceals at thigh in elegant portions.
" So sweet. You think you're useful. "
Of course, despite their never-ending disregard for one another, they have a verbal chokehold. Secrets and explicit intents are unwritten in appearance.
" Ha...Ha...Don't make me laugh. I have accepted that we will not win whatever this is, at least not right now. So I would rather not drag the mess around my daughter anywho. I have far better things to do than mess about with you, Michael. "
If only there was a lamp made of angelic steel so that he'd have some brain damage. But she was quite certain he already did.
#she was like sike bitch#lmfao ill never get over how funny it is when she bitches out michael or adam#⋆˖⁺‧₊☽⚸☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ 𝓐 𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓪𝓭𝔂 𝓪𝓭𝓭𝓲𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓽𝓸 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾 ⛧ Ꮢꮛꭾꮭꭵꮛꮥ#cast-you-dxwn
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Cherry Red, Crimson Blood
Chapter 38: Shattered
Summary: Things aren't okay. They never will be again.
Pairing: Poly 141 x reader
Word Count: 7,743 words
Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, angst, PTSD, nightmares, POV changes, depression and anxiety, medical stuff, injuries, brief description of a possible death, language, mention of weight loss due to medical stuff, emotionally heavy chapter (again), slightly graphic imagery, illness, so much crying
A/N: I just want to make something very clear here since there's a scene in this chapter that might be interpreted this way, but 'mega is NOT suicidal. That's not something that's going to be in this fic, and neither is self-harm. It would have been well warned in advance if that was going to be something coming up in this fic. She's struggling a lot, but she's not suicidal, she's not going to become suicidal, nor will she self-harm even off screen. So don't worry. That's not what's happening. It won't be happening.
Okay, just wanted to make that clear. Enjoy the suffering!
MASTERLIST | <- Previous | Next ->
The scream slices through the silence seconds before chaos erupts.
John is on his feet and out the door before Kyle is even fully awake. Simon is on his heels down the stairs, the two of them nearly colliding in their rush. His heart thuds in his chest as he sees your door open, the overhead light on. It’s bad. It must be bad if the overhead light is on. You hate the overhead light.
He barrels in like a bull, ready to fight. The screaming has stopped, but it still rings in his ears. The fear, the panic. Something has happened. Someone got in. He should have made you take the room upstairs. He should have put a barrier between you and the door. That window. Someone could break that easily and grab you before they even noticed.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.”
The screaming has stopped, but gut-wrenching sobs have taken its place. He takes a moment to scan the room. Nothing is misplaced. The window isn’t broken, there’s no bodies, no one that shouldn’t be in there.
“You’re okay.” Christine soothes you as you sob. “It was just a nightmare.”
The bright fluorescent overhead light burns his eyes as he stands there, staring at the bed. Christine is right there, having beaten them across the living room, or perhaps she had already been in there, having heard you in your distress before they could. You're tucked in her arms, your face against her shoulder as she holds you.
Nightmare.
The safety and security the cottage promised has faded, leaving you at the mercy of the horrors your mind can conjure up in your sleep. Something twists deep in John’s stomach as he turns, motioning for the others to back up and give you some space. You won’t want them there, and things will only get worse if you notice them.
His heart is still thudding in his chest as he stands there, the sharp sound of your scream still ringing in his ears despite his confirmation of your safety. The other three look just as startled as he feels, standing there tensely in the dark living room. He brings himself to move, turning his back on them for a moment to try and gather his thoughts as he flips on the lamp in the corner. It casts a warm light across the living room, far too warm for how he’s feeling. He’s trying not to panic, trying not to be sick on the floor from the worry. His heart is in his throat, trying to choke him. He’s trying so hard to be strong, not just for him, but for his pack, for you.
He sinks down on one of the couches, rubbing a hand over his face. He had been so sure something had happened, that their safe little bubble had been breached and someone knew about their whereabouts. He had been so sure someone was trying to hurt you with a scream like that.
Maybe someone was, but not in reality.
What is it you dream about now? Your nightmares about your father and your traumatic presentation must seem like nothing now compared to what must haunt your mind. Do you dream of Graves and his torture? Do you dream of them leaving you behind? Do you dream of dying because of their failures?
A hand settles on his shoulder, a body sinking onto the couch next to him. Arms are wrapping around him, easing him against a solid chest.
He’s crying.
He didn’t even realize the tears had started flowing.
He can hear the reverberating voice in his head, yelling at him, telling him not to show such weakness in front of his pack, in front of his team. He’s supposed to be the strong one, he’s supposed to be the stable one keeping the pack afloat and steady. Yet here he is, breaking down in front of them.
“It’s okay.”
Kyle.
His sweet Kyle.
How he’s been neglecting his sweet beta, and yet, how willing Kyle still is to reach out and comfort him in such a time of visible distress. That’s what betas are supposed to do. Mediate and balance the emotions of the pack. How have they been coping with all of this? How have Kyle and Johnny been managing in such a time of disarray and upheaval? Have they been managing it? He doesn’t even know. He doesn’t even know the state of his pack, of the members of his team.
What a failure he is.
He lets himself lean against Kyle, something filling his chest as Kyle’s soft scent seeps into his senses. He’s projecting it, not just for John but also for the whole room. Johnny is crying too, soft sobs tearing from his chest as he sits on the other couch. Simon is on his knees in front of him, trying to get him calmed and breathing.
They’ve been ignoring and denying each other for days, fraying the bonds further while trying so hard not to. The pain they’ve been causing in their emotional constipation and intentional neglect is almost worse than the pain caused by their infighting. At least fighting they were feeling something. At least fighting they weren’t cutting each other off so willingly.
“We can’t do this anymore.” He says, his voice thick and shaky from his tears. “Cutting each other off. It’s not helping anything.” He doesn’t move from where he’s tucked against Kyle’s chest, letting the comfort wash over him for the first time in a week and a half.
How he’s missed this.
“It’s not doing any good for any of us.” Simon says, shifting onto the couch next to Johnny.
“Especially not our omega.” Kyle says, voicing the thought flashing through all of their minds.
“We may not be able to do much to help her right now, but we can focus on each other. That is something we can do.” John swallows thickly, his alpha starting to come back to life, his instincts aware again as he stares at Johnny and Simon. “Doing nothing isn’t good for any of us. We need to have something to focus on, something tangible we can do. Denying each other comfort isn’t going to help anyone.”
“I full-heartedly agree.”
John whips around, Christine standing in front of your closed door. He hadn’t even noticed her enter the room, hadn’t sensed her standing behind them. Johnny and Simon are the only two that don’t look startled, but they must have seen her come out from their position facing your door.
“Sorry.” The corner of her lip twitches up in a smirk. “Thought you would have noticed.”
John clears his throat. “How is she?”
“Settled again.” Christine says, moving over to the chair.
“How long has she been having nightmares?” Kyle asks.
“Since that first day in the med center in Dallas.” She says, sinking into the chair. How heavy this must all be on her shoulders. “I’d almost call them more sleep hallucinations. Mostly of Graves. Seeing him in the room, being attacked by him.”
“Is there anything that can be done to help?” John asks.
“For these kinds of nightmares? Not really.” Christine folds her hands in her lap. “Her brain is trying to process what happened. Until she feels safe enough to truly begin working on processing the trauma, it’s likely the nightmares will continue.”
“Is there anything we can do to help her feel safe?” Kyle says.
Christine’s lips purse as she looks between the four of them. “I’m not sure any of you could do anything right now directly, at least. She’s not open to that yet. Working on your bonds with each other, though, could help her omega finally settle and allow her emotions to even out again. That can help her feel safer, remove that instability and the fear of losing control again.”
All of them share looks, John and Simon staring at one another. They hadn’t even thought about that. Well, at least he hadn’t. Christine had told him months ago that omegas need their alpha when they distress, when their omega takes over. They can come back from it with the help of an alpha...their alpha. Without one, the chances of survival were slim. Yet here you are, trying to do it all on your own. Having to do it all on your own.
That ache in his chest starts again as he stares at Simon. He sent Simon after you, he made Simon go through that process of seeing you in that state and scruffing you. He made Simon be the one to help you through that. He made Simon be there when you needed an alpha most because he couldn’t face the fact that he abandoned you, he left you behind like you were nothing but another faceless soldier.
He wipes his face as the tears start falling again. He truly is a failure of an alpha.
Despite Christine’s reassurances, John can’t help the automatic reaction to your screams. On his feet instantly, his heart pounding in his chest ready to fight bare handed whatever might be causing such a reaction. Whoever might be causing such a reaction. He can’t fight the demons in your head, though, and he’s always greeted by the sight of Christine by your side, comforting you as best she can.
He wants to hate her, wants to be angry at her for taking his place, doing what he should be doing. His alpha scratches at his mind every time he sees her by your side, giving you comforts he should be giving, but it’s his fault. It’s his fault she’s the one there with you. It’s his fault you’re suffering so much. Those thoughts send his alpha crawling back into its cage with its tail between its legs.
It doesn’t matter the time of day, whether it was a nap or the middle of the night, your screams have a pain throbbing deep in his chest. His heart is constantly racing, waiting for that rush of adrenaline at the sound of your terrified scream, at that rush of instinct to protect and fight. He’s not sure how much his heart can take.
He might have a heart attack by the end of their stay at the cottage.
That’s something he’s been trying not to think about.
They can’t stay here forever, no matter how much he knows you’ll want to, how much the others will want to. Eventually they’ll begin to go stir-crazy, itching for something to do. They still have jobs, and Kate can only keep them off the radar for so long, and can only give so many excuses. Eventually they’ll have to go back. Eventually they’ll have to make that decision of what comes next.
He’s going to delay that as much as he possibly can.
They can’t go back while Shepherd is still out there. They can’t trust that anywhere is safe while he’s still skulking around, while he still has contacts that could put them all in danger. That could put you in danger.
That’s not a risk he’s willing to take again.
But what comes next?
What will they decide to do? Can they go back, knowing what the inevitable will be? Can they take that risk of having to leave you again, put you through that constant fear and worry that they might not come back? What if they all leave again? Could you survive the fear that something might happen while they’re away again? Not to them, but to you?
Could they leave you alone again?
Those are thoughts for another day when they’re inevitably faced with the fact they have to return to society and their lives and jobs.
They have time.
He has to make sure you’re okay first.
You’re not okay.
You’re so very far from okay.
The bedside lamp is on, casting a golden glow around the room.
There’s nothing there. There’s nothing there.
It’s one of the rare times you’ve woken before you can react, before you can scream and alert everyone in the house that you’ve had a nightmare. They’ll all come running. All of them.
You hate it.
You hate the nightmares, you hate the fear, you hate the constant pain and worry and the constant knowledge that your pack is right there. They want to go back to how things were, they want things to go back to normal, but they can’t. They expect you to forgive them, to go back to loving them, but how can you after everything?
They left you.
They let this happen to you and they just want you to pretend like nothing happened. That’s what they would do. Go back to normal life after being tortured and forget it all happened because that’s what they do.
You’re not them.
You don’t want to be like them.
Cold. Heartless. Uncaring. Unwilling to put anyone but themselves first.
Fuck them.
The only thing keeping you here is the fact you’re bonded to them. That, and you’re an omega. You’d get picked up off the street and brought right back here to your owner. Or, worse, you’d get picked up by someone looking for a cute little omega to add to their collection.
Or worse.
You’d get picked up by someone else.
Graves. Shepherd.
If you’re lucky, they’d kill you instantly. Leave your body on the front porch for the others to find. You won’t care anymore. You’ll be dead.
You hastily wipe the tears from your cheeks, wiggling yourself back until you’re leaning against the headboard. Your shoulder doesn’t hurt quite as much anymore. It still throbs, still aches, still occasionally almost puts you on the floor when you try to reach over your head with it. Your throat is healing too. Soup isn’t quite as horrible as it was a few days ago. Solid food makes you ache, but at least you can get it down without feeling like you’re swallowing glass.
You still haven’t spoken to them, though.
You can hardly stand to look at them.
Fuck them.
Just the thought of them makes you want to scream.
Dr. Keller says it's normal, being angry. ‘It’s all part of the process.’ The anger, the fear, the pain, the depression. It’s all normal. It’s all part of the process. It’s all necessary. You won’t get better holding it all in. You won’t get better numbing yourself. You won’t get better if you don’t allow yourself to feel everything.
You hate it.
Why should you have to go through all these feelings, all this pain? Why should you be the one suffering because of their decisions? It’s not fair. They should be suffering. They should be in pain. They should be the ones on the brink of insanity because of the fear and the pain and the suffering and their omega constantly screaming at them.
It makes you want to scream.
Screaming will only draw them in, force them closer. Screaming will alert them all, make them all come running. You don’t want any of them near. You don’t want to have to see them again.
Fuck them.
You let out a huff before wiggling back down the bed until your head hits the pillow. You won’t go back to sleep. You never do. At least you have the pain and exhaustion and tumultuous emotions and your very nature to excuse your constant naps, constant sleeping during the day. They don’t need to know you’re not sleeping at night. They won’t care. They don’t care. None of them do.
Fuck. Them.
You want your phone, you want something to keep you occupied. It’s probably lying somewhere on the side of the road shattered beyond repair. That, or it’s back in the barracks. The barracks. Fuck that place. You’ll rip your hair out strand by strand if you have to go back there. It’s not safe, it’s not happy. There’s nothing good about that place anymore.
It’s just a place of pain. You might as well have been tortured by Phil there.
You were tortured there.
It wasn’t a physical torture, but a mental one. The entire experiment was just torture for you. No one thought of you, no one cared about you.
Dr. Keller cares.
It’s her job to care.
Still, you can’t hate her entirely. She’s the only one that understands. She’s the only one that can help. She’s the only one that’s been helping. Not just now, but back then. She cared, she fought for you, she did her best with what she had. Sure, she made mistakes, but so did you. She’s the only one you can forgive.
She’s the only one you want to forgive.
Fuck the others. Fuck your pack. Fuck those fucking soldiers who were never going to care about anyone but themselves, who were never going to care about anything but their jobs and their duties and the good of the world.
You should have been their world.
They couldn’t put you first. They wouldn’t put you first. They didn’t want to put you first.
They won’t change. They can’t change. There’s no hope for change.
You’ll just go back to the way things were before and be forced to pretend everything's okay and that you’re happy and fine and content. Were you ever really content or were you just trying to make the best of the situation? Were you deluding yourself into believing you loved them and cared about them and that they loved you and cared about you to numb the fact you knew deep down that they never would, that they never could. Were you deluding yourself into thinking everything was fine and dandy to hide the constant pain from the knowledge that you would never come first?
The pain begins to burn in your chest again. It’s hot like acid, rising in your chest to your throat, threatening to choke you. It’s a deep pain, one nestled right in against your soul. Tears leak out of your eyes again as you squeeze them shut, pushing your right hand against your chest in an attempt to get it to pass.
You thought you were dying the first time.
You could only be so lucky.
The bond.
It’s trying to break, trying to sever itself, trying to free you from the constant pain, but it can’t.
Maybe because deep down you don’t want it to. Maybe deep down you want to forgive them and move past all of this. Maybe you want things to go back to normal, even if normal means pain and distress and fear. Maybe you want to believe them that they’re finally going to put you first.
‘Maybe’ is only a doorway to disappointment and pain.
Fuck yourself.
Fuck your omega.
Fuck your pack.
Hell, fuck Dr. Keller for not fighting harder, for not doing more.
Fuck Graves and his haunting of your nightmares.
Fuck Kate for choosing you.
Fuck Shepherd for creating the initiative in the first place to try and cover his own ass.
Fuck them all.
You tug the blanket higher around yourself, rolling onto your right side.
Fuck. Them. All.
You don’t want him here.
He does it now, usually in the mornings.
You hate it.
You like it. It’s nice. He’s the only one making an effort.
He never says anything, surprisingly enough. It’s silent as he sits there, steaming cup of coffee in hand. Always coffee, never tea. He won’t sink that low. He brings you a cup, but you can never bring yourself to touch it. You feel like a mental patient stuck in a straight jacket. You could free yourself, but that would bring too much awareness, too many questions, too much pain.
You don’t want to.
So instead you sit there in silence, staring out at the sea. It’s so far away still, yet it’s right there. You can hear it and smell it and see it.
The sea.
They brought you to the sea.
John remembered. He did it for you.
The thought has something stirring in your chest, and it’s not pain or anger.
You hate it.
Johnny leans back in the chair, his eyes on the horizon like yours. He sits there in that chair every chance he gets, usually in the mornings when Dr. Keller takes time for herself and leaves one of them watching you through the sliding glass door. You do feel guilty for forcing so much on Dr. Keller’s shoulders, yet you need her.
You’re not ready for the others yet, no matter how loudly your omega screams at you.
You don’t want them.
Fuck, you desperately need them.
Your eyelids flutter frantically as you try to keep the tears at bay. You can’t cry. You can’t let him know how close you are to breaking down. You can’t.
You can’t reach out.
You can’t take his hand.
How desperately you want to.
You nearly breathe a sigh of relief when the sliding door opens, Dr. Keller’s soft footsteps crossing the wood planks of the porch.
“Ready to go inside now?” She asks, pressing the back of her hand against your cheek. You don’t say anything, don’t react, frozen in fear of everything coming tumbling out in front of Johnny. “You’re getting cold.”
Johnny glances your way and you immediately turn to look at Dr. Keller, scared to look him in the face. That desperate hold you have on the gaping wound in your abdomen will open and your guts will come spilling out like some gory scene in a horror movie.
Disembowelment thanks to your own weakness.
Dr. Keller holds the crutch out for you as you push yourself to stand. Your legs are strong enough you could probably walk without it, but it’s still nice to have it in case you get tired.
If you fall, you’ll never get up again.
It’s the weakness from your liquid diet over the past week and a half. The weakness of being unable to eat solid foods, to properly nourish. You’ve lost weight, your clothes hanging from your body in a way they never did before. You’ve lost the softness that marks you as an omega, but it feels fitting. You don’t feel like an omega anymore.
You don’t feel like anything anymore.
You’re fighting your instincts out of pain and suffering and stubbornness. You keep taping your omega’s mouth shut despite how loudly she screams at you. You don’t want your instincts. You don’t want that need. Eventually it has to go away. Eventually it has to recede and your omega has to go back into her cage and sleep. Eventually you can numb yourself to it and force it away forever.
That will certainly make things easier.
But will it make things better?
No. Probably not.
It’ll make things worse.
But if it allows you to keep your distance, allows you to avoid them, you’ll risk it. You’d take numbness over anything right now.
How you miss those long days of depression while they were away. How you took those days for granted.
Who knew those hours spent worrying about them and their distance and what might happen to them would be for nothing?
What you wouldn’t give for all of them to disappear right now.
How badly it would destroy you.
“She’s at war with herself. That instinctual need is screaming at her, but that emotional pain is keeping her shut away. If anyone is going to get through to her, it will probably be you.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
Simon clenches his jaw as he stares at Christine. As much as he wants to hate the doctor and her ability to see straight through him, he can’t deny how necessary her presence has been. She’s the only one you tolerate, the only one you’ll let close. Without her you’d probably be rotting in bed, stuck and unable to do anything out of stubbornness. You won’t let them close, yet you need them close.
You’re going to rip yourself in half, metaphorically and possibly even literally.
He shakes that mental image from his mind. The horrifying images his mind has conjured up over the last few days have his stomach churning. Even his tea no longer looks appetizing.
He put milk in it this time. Almost how he likes it. Almost how he wants it.
“Johnny’s the one actually trying.” Simon says, staring across at her. She doesn’t shy from his gaze, doesn't even flinch. “You should talk to him.”
“While I agree, reintroducing a beta from the pack is the first step, eventually she’s going to need an alpha.” Christine says.
“She needs her alpha.” He argues.
“She doesn’t want her alpha.” Christine counters. “He’s going to be the last she lets close, but she’s going to need some kind of stability.”
“I can’t give her that.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
Simon clenches his hand around his mug, his knuckles going white. She’s infuriating, yet he can’t be mad at her. Not completely. The good she’s doing for you, for the pack, far outweighs his annoyance with the doctor. She’s right. He knows it deep down, but he can’t. He can’t do that, he can’t put you through that. He’s already done enough. He did his part, he faced his fears, he saved your life. That’s enough for him. It’s up to John now.
John has to do the work to fix it. He broke it, it’s no one else’s job to fix it.
“Maybe both.” Simon finally says, pushing himself up to stand. “It’s not my job to fix this.”
He leaves his mug behind as he stalks out of the kitchen, heading for the front door. He can’t stand being in the house any longer, cooped up with the same five people. Four people and a ghost.
He shakes his head, jogging down the steps into the gravel. He should go for a jog. A long jog. He could jog to town and back. That will clear his head.
That’s a long jog.
If something happens while he’s away, he won’t get back in time. It’ll be his fault because he took the time to do something selfish. He can picture it, coming back to find five bodies laying in pools of blood, dead because he wasn’t there to help, because he wasn’t there to fight.
It’s a ridiculous thought. There’s three other highly trained soldiers in the house. If anyone tried anything, they wouldn’t make it past the door. He can see it now, Price’s alpha coming out in a rage because someone dared try to enter and hurt his vulnerable omega. He’d probably win in a fight ten to one if that happened, and he has Kyle and Johnny to back him up. Christine would take you and run the first chance she could. She wouldn’t let anything happen to you. Not again.
Still, he can’t shake that fear. If he can’t sprint back, then it's too far. If it will leave the pack too vulnerable, he can’t.
To the beach and back, then.
She’s like an angel.
The soft sunlight streaming through the clouds makes her glow. You wouldn’t be surprised if the sun was shining just for her, sending down a beam just to illuminate just how ethereal she is.
The Garrick beauty is genetic.
Kyle is beautiful in terms of a man. He shares the same ethereal glow as his sister, but Ashley? You don’t feel worthy of looking upon her.
“Kyle never mentioned an omega, but then again, he never says much about his job.” She gives another dazzling smile, your heart rate picking up just slightly. “Can’t, I should say. You haven’t been with them long, huh.”
“About nine months.” You say, your voice still a bit hoarse. It’s not quite healed yet. It might be that way forever.
“Such a short amount of time to go through so much.” She says, giving you a soft, sympathetic look. You don’t know how much she knows, though it’s still fairly obvious you’ve been through hell. That you’re still going through hell. “Christine told me a bit about what happened. I don’t blame you one bit for being upset at them. I would have left them, but I know. In a perfect world, right?”
You make a quiet sound. Indeed in a perfect world where omegas have rights and can make their own decisions and could leave and have support in doing so. You’d leave with Dr. Keller or even Ashley, even though you’ve only known her for ten minutes. She has the same magnetic energy as Kyle, so much so you don’t mind the way the scent blockers burn your nose. She probably smells like something warm and soft, something comforting.
“So, tell me about yourself. What do you like to do?” She says, settling in the chair. It’s cool outside, but she doesn’t seem bothered by it one bit.
You scramble for something, anything. What is it you like to do? What are your hobbies? You’re drawing a blank, your mind searching through its filing cabinets to find where you shoved all the things you like to do.
“I like to read.” You finally say, remembering the stack of untouched books on the dresser across from the bed.
“Oh? What do you like to read?” She asks.
What do you like to read? What is a genre? What are books?
“Oh, I read anything, as long as it’s interesting.” Is that the truth? You’re not quite sure.
“I see, I see. Well, there’s quite the collection on those shelves inside. I’m a reader too. Read through those entire shelves over the years.” She grins at you. “We could do a little book club, if you’d like. Read some books and talk about them over some tea. We could get Christine in on it too. Have a little thing just for us girls.”
You nod, staring at her in awe. This is the first time someone outside of your little circle has offered to do anything with you, for you.
You want to do it.
You want to spend time with someone who isn’t your pack, who isn’t Dr. Keller.
“Okay.” You say, still staring at her in awe.
“I could come over on the weekends, or we could do a call if you’re not up to seeing anyone.” She continues, and you’re not sure if she made this plan before she came, or if she’s coming up with it on the spot. Regardless, you're still impressed by her and her dedication to a complete stranger.
“Would...would that be too much?” You ask, your brain starting to wake up again, the wires connecting once more.
“Not at all.” She shakes her head. “I live and work in Exeter, so I’m not too terribly far away.”
You’re not sure where Exeter is off the top of your head. Your mental map isn’t even sure how far away London is...or even where you are on a map of England. Are you even in England right now?
“What do you do for work?” You ask, realizing you’ve been silent for an awkward amount of time.
“I’m a finance lawyer.” She says. “Mum used to say ‘you love to argue so much, you should become a lawyer.’” She laughs. “So I did.”
“You must make a lot of money.” You say. You don’t know how much lawyers make in England relative to the US.
“I make enough to be comfortable.” She says. Enough to travel back and forth every weekend. “Seriously, though, if you need or want anything, let me know. I’m more than happy to come sit with you and give you a break from those stinky men.”
You’re not quite sure what happens to your face. It contorts, muscles shaking off the dust and starting to move before you even realize it. Your lips are tilting upwards instead of downwards. Something is happening. Something that feels good, something that you’ve been missing.
You’re smiling.
You’re smiling. You haven’t smiled in a long time. Weeks. Not since the cameras. Not since your pack left. You haven’t felt like smiling in so long you’re certain you forgot how to. But yet, here you are, smiling at Ashley. It’s not a genuine smile, one that crinkles your eyes and shows joy, but it’s a smile. It almost hurts your face after so long.
She’s funny too.
Stinky men.
They are that.
Your smile falls as soon as the sliding glass door opens, your head whipping around to look. Ashley turns to look too, perhaps out of instinct at your sudden movement.
You’re half expecting it to be one of the guys, maybe Kyle out to ruin the moment, but it’s only Dr. Keller.
“How are things going?” She asks, stepping up beside you.
“Good.” Ashley says. “We’re planning a book club.”
“Oh?” Dr. Keller raises a brow, looking between you. “I think that would be fantastic.”
“You’re welcome to join in if you’d like,” Ashley says, giving Dr. Keller a smile.
You stare up at Dr. Keller, watching the way her lips turn up a smile, her eyes shining with...something. Her hands open and close, tugging at her pants almost nervously. Your brows raise as you look back up at her face. She almost looks...flustered.
Oh.
Another grin forms on your face as you stare between them, Ashley still smiling and Dr. Keller still looking a bit flustered.
Oh.
“You could join us if you want.” You say slowly, still looking up at Dr. Keller.
She seems to snap out of her daze, her gaze darting down to you. She gives you a soft smile, back to her composed, professional self. “If that’s what you’d like.”
You nod. Even though you see her constantly every day, you’re not tired of her existence yet. She’s the only one whose existence in the house doesn’t make you want to gouge your eyes out, the only one you want to talk to, to see, to have around. If you had the choice, you’d be here alone with her.
That’s not possible. You know it’s not.
“A thing for just us girls.” Ashley says. “On the weekends. No pressure whatsoever.”
“I think that would be fantastic.” Dr. Keller says. “A nice little distraction.”
“A nice break from those stinky men.” You say.
Both Dr. Keller and Ashley erupt in laughter.
Another smile tugs at your lips.
You don’t want to be here. You can feel him staring at you from behind. He hasn’t moved since Dr. Keller left, still just standing there like he’s not sure he can approach you or not. You hope he doesn’t. You want him to.
You don’t say anything, still staring out at the ocean, but you can see him reflected in the glass, obscuring your view of the horizon. Hatred burns inside of you as you have no choice but to stare at him, even when you’re trying not to. He’s like a ghost, always haunting you. He always will be.
“I didn’t want to try to rush into this.” He finally says, knowing you’re not going to say anything. You won’t greet him, welcome him into your space. It already feels like an intrusion into your safety, him being here.
Is this becoming a safe space? A nest? No, not that far. It’s becoming sacred to you, though, and having him in it without invitation feels wrong. It makes you uncomfortable.
You hate it.
“But I just wanted you to know that we’re all feeling the weight of what we did, I’m feeling the weight of what I decided to do. We all feel guilty for putting you through that, for forcing you to endure things you never should have.”
He swallows thickly, falling silent for a moment. You almost feel like laughing at his attempt at an apology, another attempt at an apology. Why is he even bothering? He knows you won’t forgive him. He’s probably doing it for himself again, to make himself feel better.
“I know it’s not an ideal situation, being forced in such a small space together, but we all wanted you to know that you’re the one setting the boundaries. If you don’t want us to be somewhere or do something, then you can tell us, or have Christine tell us. If you don’t want to see us at all, we can make our best attempts at that.”
“That would be ideal.” You say, breaking the silence you’ve held for days. It’s the first time you’ve spoken to him since the hospital, since his first sad attempt at an apology.
It shocks him to stillness and silence.
The words hurt, burning your throat like acid as you stare at his reflection in the glass. You hate it, how pathetic he looks standing there. Where’s the big, tough alpha? Where’s the strong protector? Where’s the person that’s supposed to take care of you and care about you?
He never existed.
He left you behind.
He never cared.
Anger begins to bubble within you.
“I’m sorry.” He says, his voice shaking. “I never meant for this to happen-”
“You think your sad attempts at apologies are going to work?” You hiss at him through your teeth. You push yourself to stand, turning to face him. “You left me. You fucking left me there knowing full well what was going to happen!” You’re shouting now. All the quiet movements on the other side of the wall in the main area stop.
They’re all listening.
It’s not like you’re giving them much of a choice not to.
Fuck them.
“I know,” He says, his eyes wide as he stares at you.
“Do you? Do you know?” Your voice is wavering, your throat starting to ache but you can’t stop. Not now. It’s all coming out and there’s no stopping it. “You. Left. Me. You willingly turned your back on me time and time again even when I was being tortured! You leaving was torture enough and you still chose me second. I’ve always been second. I’ve never mattered enough for you to even question anything!”
You let out a sob, the sound cracking in your throat. It hurts, but it will always hurt. You’ll always carry this hurt with you, so you want him to hurt too.
“I asked you once if you would ever leave for me. You said if things got dangerous, if my life were ever at risk because of you, you’d leave in a heartbeat.” The tears are falling, streaming down your face. “Was that a lie?”
He doesn’t say anything. He just stands there, staring at you. Does he even remember that conversation?
“Was that a lie?” You shout, making him jump.
His eyes drop to the floor, his scent souring. Good, you think. Let it hurt.
“Answer me.” You say, pushing him to give some response to your question. You need to know. You need him to say it.
“I didn’t intend for it to be.” He says quietly.
“You didn’t intend for it to be.” You say, bitterness coating your tone. “What the fuck does that mean? You said you wouldn’t let me go even if the initiative failed. Was that a lie too? Was it all a lie to keep me happy and complacent? ‘The job always comes first,’ even when my life is in danger, right? The job always comes first over everything, even me. You lied to me.” You swallow the sob threatening to come up. “I want to hear you say it.”
He stands there, tears brimming in his eyes. He hasn’t moved hardly a muscle, still frozen like a statue.
“Say it!” You scream at him, your throat tearing around the words. You’re surprised you’re not tasting blood yet from how raw it feels.
“I lied.” He says, swallowing thickly. “I lied to you and I couldn’t keep my promise. And I’m sorry-”
“Don’t apologize.” You cut him off starting to pace as the anger burns hot in you. “Don’t you fucking apologize to me, you don’t deserve to apologize. You don’t deserve the chance at forgiveness. You’re a shitty alpha and you always have been!”
You let out a sob, wiping at the tears streaming down your face. There’s a tear sliding down his cheek, and it brings you some sort of relief deep down. So he can feel things after all.
“I don’t know what I expected, though.” You let out a sardonic laugh. “You military men are all the same. It’s always about the job and the image and the ‘greater good’ and making sacrifices, even if that means sacrificing your pack. You’re just like my dad. You never wanted an omega, you never wanted me. You cast me out and let me suffer when I needed you most.”
The anger burns hot in you again, shooting through your veins until it’s choking you as you stare at him standing there pathetically. He thought he could apologize, he thought his groveling would mean anything to you. Fuck him. Fuck them all.
“You left me.” You grit out, your hands starting to shake. “You left me! You abandoned me, you let me get hurt! You didn’t care, you never cared about me!” You storm over to him. “Fuck you!” You scream, hitting his chest. “I fucking hate you!” You shove him back, sending him stumbling. “Get out!” You shove him again, pushing him back towards the door. “Get out! I never want to see you again!”
He stumbles back out of the door and you slam it in his face so hard it shakes on its hinges. You click the lock as you sob in pain, pain both physical and emotional. Your chest aches, a tearing feeling burning through it.
The bond.
You don’t care. You don’t give a fuck anymore. You hate him, you hate them all.
The tears and sobs threaten to choke you but you don’t care. You don’t care anymore. You don’t care about anything anymore except the anger burning hot through you, making your hands shake. Your legs give out and you slide to the floor against the door, sliding until you’re laying down on your back on the hardwood. It’s cold against your skin but you don’t care. You can’t care anymore.
If you fall, you’ll never get up again.
Her hand presses against your forehead, wiping some of the sweat beading on your skin. Despite your shivers, you’re burning hot. A fever. You worked yourself up too much earlier in your outburst. She had been proud of you for finally releasing some of it and showing some emotion, but she knew the consequences of getting so worked up would be high. Your omega is still unstable, on top of still trying to physically recover. You hurt yourself doing that, even if it was necessary.
She shushes you as you whine, fingers grasping at the blanket clumsily. She pulls it higher over you, your body shuddering underneath the pile already stacked on top of you. She’d put every blanket she could find over you, and yet you still shiver. Worry floods her again as she stares down at you, your eyes pinched closed. You must be aching, your show of anger taking its toll.
It was necessary, but at what cost?
If your temperature continues to spike, the risk of distress heightens. You can’t handle distress in your current state, which would mean your omega would come out, finally be freed again from the unprotected cage it's been pushed back into. If your omega comes out, that will require John to help, which may only drive you further into distress.
She needs to try and stop this before the situation continues to deteriorate.
But how?
How can she move you past this without the help of your pack? She can’t give you the comfort you need. Medicine or any therapeutic methods can help solve the issue at its core. Sure she can try and lower your fever with medicine, but you need your pack. You need that comfort and stability that only they can offer.
You need someone, and it can’t be her.
If your omega comes back out, they might never be able to get it back in. It’ll be the end of you. All of your recovery, the fight you’ve put up against your body and your instincts and your mind will have been for nothing.
You need someone.
An idea begins to form in her head, her hand resting against your forehead. It’s hot under her hand, your skin burning. You might hate her later for this. It’s risky, but sometimes risks have to be taken in dire situations. Sometimes those risks pan out in the end. What will happen if it fails? The inevitable that’s going to happen if she doesn’t try. It’s a lose-lose situation, but if it works, it could be a win-win.
She can’t help you, but maybe she has someone who can.
She tucks the blankets around you, cocooning you in an attempt to keep you warm and still while she steps away. She won’t be gone long.
She leaves your door cracked open just in case, even though she doubts you’ll be moving much while she’s away.
Just in case.
One can never be too careful.
She heads up the stairs quietly, going slow to avoid startling any of them. She’s intruding on the safe space they’ve made in their solitude. It feels like invading sacred grounds, but it's a necessary invasion. Their omega is in danger. They’ll forgive her.
The bathroom door is closed at the end of the short hallway, a light on inside. The lights are on in both rooms too, glowing beneath both doors, and she takes a gamble. Based on the heaviness of the footsteps above the kitchen she can guess the room on the right is the one Simon and Johnny are staying in. If she’s wrong, she’ll have some explaining to do before she’s ready, and she knows John will have his thoughts about this. Though, with what happened earlier, perhaps he’ll agree. You won’t see him, but maybe...just maybe...
She lets out a deep breath before knocking firmly, waiting a breath before she calls out.
“Johnny, I need your help.”
She just hopes you don’t hate her too much later.
NEXT ->
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#call of duty#call of duty fic#task force 141 x reader#poly 141 x reader#John price x reader#captain price x reader#Kyle Garrick x reader#gaz x reader#Simon Riley x reader#Ghost x reader#John mactavish x reader#soap x reader#alpha/beta/Omega dynamics#a/b/o#omegaverse
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See you again
Male!Yandere!Vampire x Fem!Reader
Bunni’s Monstertober Event
Oct 8th
Oct 7th
Oct 9th
summary: when a rich vampire suspects you are a reincarnation of his lover, you have no choice but to return with him to his manor and become his wife.
warnings: yandere behavior, breeding, dubcon, aphrodisiac venom
a/n: sorry this is so late I’ve had horrible writers block lately ><
Moonlight flickered through the stained glass window, casting a multicolored light across your plump frame.
You almost glowed, looking like an angel sent from above.
He had spotted you across the ballroom an hour ago.
The vampire usually never came to such things, but it was a particularly lonely night for him. About 20 years ago, his human lover died in his arms. A plague had swept across the town she lived, and he hadn’t been there quick enough to turn her before the illness took her life.
He had spent all that time in agony, drifting between thoughts of suicide and loathing, to moments of bliss when he’d remember how much he loved her… and she loved him.
Tonight was the anniversary of her death, and he figured he’d drown his sorrows in the blood of the rich and expensive alcohol.
Instead, he found you.
You were sitting at a table, your elegant gown ill fired on your plump frame. Your breasts were absolutely squished by the tight fabric, and his eyes were drab to your fat belly.
If he hadn’t known any better, he would have thought you were her, his love, his everything. You had the same plump frame, eye color, hair the same texture and style…
God you were gorgeous… his pants tightened as he caught a whiff of your perfume.
The same scent she used to use.
He took in a deep breath before approaching you. Maybe a night of fun could… make him feel just a little bit better.
“Hello, beautiful…”
You didn’t look up, assuming he was talking to someone else. This made him pause for a moment before he walked closer and cleared his throat. “My lady, may I have a word with you?”
When your eyes met his, he nearly teared up. He felt an instant spark, his undead heart soaring. You had to be her, no one else had ever made him feel this way before!
“What is it you’d like to speak about?”
He sat down across from you, smiling. “How about you tell me your name?”
The two of you spent the next hour making idle small talk, with him leading most of it. You were shy and soft spoken, much like you had been in your previous life.
You had borrowed a dress from your cousin to attend this party in hopes of finding a decently wealthy husband, an order given to you by your father. That explained why your gown was ill fitting. The man frowned deeply, his fangs threatening to peek out from his lip.
He would be making sure you wore only the finest of fabrics from now on, each dress and outfit custom made to suit your figure. Gods, he wanted to undress you right now more than anything…
But things like this were a process. He didn’t want to hurt or scare you so badly that you tried to flee, and he would rather you home with him willingly. Scaring you would have to wait until you were reliant on him…
So instead he listened to your woes and leaned forward. As long as he could get close enough to your neck to deliver a bite, he could bring you home with him…
“So your father’s business isn’t doing well, I assume?”
You nodded shyly, playing with a bit of lace on your dress. “That’s why he wants me to marry quickly while he still has his status… he hopes that my future husband will support him financially enough to keep the business afloat.”
“How troublesome, being stuck in the middle of this…”
He reached out to caress your cheek, shivering when he made contact with your soft skin. “Mmm… wouldn’t it be nice to get away from it all?”
You were about to say something, but he spoke over you. “Come with me, my love… perhaps I can do something to help.”
Your eyes lit up. He was dressed well, and people seemed to respect him enough to make way for him while you walked through the crowded ballroom to somewhere private! Maybe he could help your father…
But as he closed the door, something shifted. His eyes that had previously been a rich brown in color suddenly changed to be a startling ruby red.
“Oh, how I have yearned for you…”
He was on you in seconds, pinning you to the wall. You couldn’t even scream before his teeth were sinking into your neck, something thick and warm coursing through your veins.
“My venom will help this be a pleasant experience for you, my princess… gods…”
He shivered in pleasure, his bulge pressing into your thigh as he lapped up your blood. “Fuck, I missed you, I missed you so damn much…”
Tears fell down his face, his lips meeting yours in a feverish kiss. His fangs nipped at your tongue, but he didn’t seem to care. The man needed you more than anything.
He held onto you so tightly that your skin began to bruise. It had been decades since he had seen his lover, and going so long without you had been agony. Every night he lay awake, unable to sleep or even exist in peace without you by his side.
And now that he had you back… he wasn’t going to let you go.
It took only a moment for the aphrodisiac in his venom to kick in. Your body grew hot and weak, your pussy drenched within seconds. When he pulled down the zipper of your stress, you wiggled out of it and willingly clung to him.
“S-so warm… p-please… make it better…”
Your soaked panties against his bulge made him hiss. In his twisted, lovesick mind this proved to him that you were her. You wanted him, you loved him!
“Of course…” he purred, stroking your clit through the wet fabric. “Anything for you, I’d gather the stars and lay them at your feet if it meant you’d be happy, my love…”
Seeing your fat pussy for the first time in years was enough to have him rock hard.
Back before you died, you had always wished for children, but he was too stubborn, not wanting it. When he was ready, it was too late and you were gone.
He had regretted it ever since. How he yearned to see your belly swell with his baby, to fill you up with cum and make you a happy mother…
“My pretty girl…”
He rubbed his tip against your entrance. It was flushed an angry red, desperate to feel your gummy insides. “I love you… I love you so much…”
He pushed in, capturing your lips in a kiss as he fucked into your warm cunt. All he wanted now was to cherish and protect you, to lock you away and make sure no one but him got to even look at his beautiful girl.
They didn’t deserve you, didn’t have the honor of laying their eyes on you. Only he did.
He lost count of how many times he came inside of you. The aphrodisiac in his venom had you crying out and blubbering for more, desperate for his touch. It ands his chest will with bride to watch your belly bulge with his cum.
As he road home in his carriage with your exhausted body in his lap, he couldn’t help but rub your fat belly, a fond look in his eyes.
He was getting a redo, and this time he’d give you everything you wanted, treasure you even more than he had before.
And there was nothing you could do to convince him otherwise. You were his, bound to him by fate. Even if you had no memory of this man… it was no use.
You would be with him until the day you died… if he let you.
want more? I thought about expanding on this and making it more of a thought out story… I’ll do it if you send me a kofi! ><
YANDERE TAGLIST: @katerinaval @sunset-214 @avalordream @atransmuter @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @unforgettablewhvre @yoongiigolden @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @spicyspicyliving @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @enchantedsylveon @readeryn68 @danielle143 @kittenlover614 @annavittoria-mm @makimamybelovedwife @toocollectionchaos-universe-blog @fruk-you-usuk-fans @wil10wthetree @hammerhead96-blog @slightlyusedfloormat @bubblez-blop @sunshineangel-reads @heroneki-neko @soapybabyboop @sandramalikstyles-blog @anonymouskiwi @pedropascalbabygirl @flamefoxx @swasti8854 @an-ever-angry-bi
#cw dubcon#cw breeding#vampire imagine#vampire x human#vampire angst#vampire smut#vampire boyfriend#vampire x reader#yandere imagines#yandere monster#yandere x you#yandere x reader#tw yandere#monster fucker#monster lover#monster fudger#monster boyfriend#monster fic#chubby!reader#chubby reader#x reader#fem reader#teratophillia#terat0philliac#teraphilia#terato#exophelia#fat reader#plus size reader#monster fucking
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my little voyeur
neighbour!loganxvoyeur!reader
a/n: so sorry about the hiatus, started university and midterms are already here, crazy. anyway, enjoy this little idea i had, inspired by a real life situation. xox
wc:3.1k
MDNI !!! 18+, AGE GAP, SEXUAL CONTENT, ALCOHOL USE
summary: Y/N is growing needier with every one-night stand her hot neighbour brings over, one night she decides to be his next.
"-Oh fuck, keep going!" A muffled voice cried between the rhythmic thumping noises that came from the ceiling above you.
You bit down on your lip, shifting needily on your sofa.
"Here we go again" You mumbled to yourself, glancing at the clock on your microwave.
8:37 PM.
"Earlier than usual... Do you have to be somewhere early tomorrow?" You pressed the mute button on your TV remote to get a better listen.
The intrigue in your neighbour's activity had been a shameful recent development. He'd have company over almost every night now; which meant constant, rough sex.
The shared two-story house was old, and the walls were poorly insulated, which surely didn't aid your newfound obsession. Your unit was the basement suite: a homely one-bedroom, one-bathroom with a large kitchenette and living room. Even though you both lived in the same quarters, you both had your own respective spaces and entrances, which meant you rarely crossed paths.
You knew little about the man upstairs, only that he lived alone, wasn't the talkative type, and rode a Harley Davidson that was equally as loud as his one-night stands.
Though it was ill-mannered of him to be as careless as he was, you couldn't stop yourself from being attracted to him. He might've had a good twenty years on you, but that didn't matter in this case.
The man was in phenomenal shape for his age; You had come home one day to him working on his bike, shirtless. His physique was composed of thick broad shoulders that counterbalanced his narrow waist and muscular biceps that bulged beneath his skin, flowing seamlessly into veiny forearms. Dark curls of hair stretched downwards from his brawny chest, over his chiselled abs and disappeared into the denim waistband of his wranglers.
To pair with that irresistible body, was a charmingly rugged face. Thick, untamed eyebrows cast a shadow over his piercing hazel eyes, while dense sideburns traced the sharp angles of his jawline. His short, spiked hair flared into two distinct tufts on either side of his head, adding to his wild, primal look.
"-Logan! I'm coming!" The voice screamed. Since this all began, you found yourself feeling rather bitter. Not only was it rude and annoying but from what you managed to pick up, most nights they would be playing out the very type of fantasies you'd always had but never got the chance to experience.
You let out a heavy sigh, feeling that excitement slowly pool in your lower stomach. You knew this would end soon, Logan seemed to have quite the routine, so your impending neediness wouldn't go any farther.
His partners were usually dead silent for the rest of the night, presumably busy sleeping off the intense sex, which made the inconvenience somewhat tolerable. The only time they would potentially disturb you again was as they made their exit down the stairs the morning after. You could catch glimpses of them as they passed in front of your kitchen window, usually around the time you'd be having your coffee.
From the looks of it, he had a type: girls your age. They'd always be dressed in last night's skimpy outfit, with knotted hair, but somehow still looked gorgeous. As they stumble their way to the taxi at the edge of the driveway. You'd observe them closer pressing up the glass, often spiking your jealousy.
The first few you had laid eyes on made you snicker a jaded"How original." But you were well used to it by now.
Logan was your typical walking mid-life crisis; Bringing home adventurous young women, fucking their brains out, sending them away in a yellow chariot and never talking to them again. From the frequency of these one-night stands it looked as if he was trying to satisfy a hunger he couldn't seem to fulfill. Almost like preparing for hibernation.
He was living the bachelor life that men his age could only dream of having, but there was something about the whole routine that felt...off. It was as if every conquest left him more empty, more distant and detached from everything and everyone around him. It wasn't just women that Logan indulged in, he was also a heavy drinker. You could tell by the recycling bin, always overflowing with liquor bottles, and the fact that the few times you'd been to The Black Lodge—the only bar in small-town Burns, Alaska—you had seen him there
You watched from your bar stool, careful to remain unnoticed. The brief exchanges between him and the bartender made it clear he was a regular—no need for small talk, just an easy, practiced silence. Logan's eyes, however, never lingered on the glass of neat whiskey in front of him. Instead, his gaze swept over the crowd, scanning for his next target, his posture relaxed but predatory. Despite his intimidating exterior, there was something magnetic about the way he worked the room, luring them in with lustful glances. He wasn’t just playing the game—he was built to win.
His trophy shelf was overflowing, yet there was no trace of happiness in Logan’s eyes.
You couldn’t help but wonder if this was the Logan everyone else saw—rough around the edges, careless, chewing through women and booze as if they were nothing more than fleeting distractions. Or was there something deeper, a hidden tenderness that only emerged behind closed doors? He never had family or friends over, just a revolving door of women. His life seemed lonely, private, and it made you wonder what demons gnawed at him when the nights grew quiet and the distractions faded away.
Was it trauma?
Regret?
Or just the inevitable realization that his time was running out?
A part of you cared and wanted to be there for him, but it wasn't as simple as ringing his doorbell, he was unapproachable. During the few interactions you shared, he made it unmistakably clear that he had no interest in forming any kind of relationship with you. His responses were dry and curt, laced with a dismissive tone that cut down any hope of connection. Each word felt like a brick wall being built between you. He practically didn't look at you the entire time, keeping his eyes focused everywhere else but on yours. You couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment with every exchange, it was as if he was purposefully keeping you at arm's length.
Through your confusion, you understood why. You weren't what he was interested in, you couldn't contribute to his unfaltering hunger. You were more than happy to not be categorized with what he'd bring home from the bar, but a slight part of you wished that for one night, you would be.
The selections were slim in Burns and you were newer to the area, which made it impossible to call for a late-night booty call, unlike him. It had been a long time since you'd last been with someone and the constant exposure to Logan's fruitful sex life made you grow needier by the day, which is where your obsession initially formed.
It began with something small, almost too innocent to notice. You found yourself paying closer attention to his everyday routine, drawn by curiosity. You’d glance out the window to check if his motorcycle was parked in the yard, and when you heard the faint sound of his footsteps starting the day, you’d instinctively check the clock taking mental notes of his wake-up times.
Before you knew it, your interest had evolved into something deeper, something far more personal. You began noticing his trash in your shared waste bin; discarded remnants of his life blending into your obsession. At the liquor store, you found yourself buying the same brand of beer he preferred, curious to experience the taste that would linger on his lips if you kissed him. At the supermarket, you began to choose the same detergent, not for practical reasons, but to breathe in the scent that clung to his skin.
There was a day that he left his Johnny Cash shirt outside. He tossed it on the ground carelessly after working up a sweat while fixing something in the yard. When he left, you ran out and took it. As your compulsion grew, so did your need for closeness to him. The shirt became more than just a relic of him—it was a trigger.
You began wearing it late at night, feeling its used fabric against your skin. While the sounds of him having sex filtered through the thin walls. The rhythmic creaking of his bed upstairs, the faint moans, you’d inhale it deeply, lost in his scent. You'd thrust your fingers deep inside of you, following along with his rhythm, imagining it was him inside you—picturing how Logan would take control, filling you with the intensity you longed for. In those moments, it was as if he belonged to you, even if just in fantasy.
Your cheeks flushed red as you listened along, It was become too much to handle. You unmuted your episode and got up, needing to find some distraction.
"It’s almost over," you told yourself, trying to ignore the urge to grab his shirt and take care of things right then and there. Instead, you walked over to the unpacked boxes in the corner of your living room, hoping to find a distraction.
As you opened the cardboard, you started sifting through the mismatched stuff crammed inside. Your fingers brushed against something soft and bristly, sparking your curiosity. You tightened your grip and pulled it out for a better look. To your surprise, it was an old wig from a Halloween costume—vivid and wild, a memory you had almost forgotten.
The faint sounds you were trying so hard to ignore managed to slip through anyway, sparking a devilish idea as you twirled the wig in your hands. You were going to get his attention, whether he liked it or not. A mischievous grin spread across your face; this could be your way in. It was time to shake things up and show him a side of you he hadn’t seen yet.
It was the next day, and you knew for sure that Logan would be at that bar, just like he was every Thursday. You stepped inside, adjusting the wig discreetly, tucking away any hint of your natural colour, determined to become someone new for the night. This was a wild idea, but desperate times called for bold measures. You were dying for some relief and he was the only remedy for this ache you couldn’t shake.
The bar buzzed with energy, a lively crowd which meant you had competition. But tonight, you were set on one thing: going home with him, and anyone else.
You’d dressed the part—skin exposed, tight-fitting clothes that hugged your curves just right, making you feel both powerful and vulnerable at the same time.
You scanned the bar, your heart racing as you spotted him in his usual seat. The moment you walked in, his eyes locked onto you, holding your attention captive. You averted your gaze and took a shaky breath, your feet guiding you across the room, drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
Pretending not to notice his gaze, you played coy, an enticing smile dancing on your lips. You slid into the seat across from him and reached for the black menu that lay before you, feigning interest in the options. Your eyes traced the words, but your mind was elsewhere—focused on the weight of his stare and the electric tension building between you.
The bartender approached, and you quickly ordered the first thing your eyes landed on, feeling a rush of nerves. You folded the menu neatly, deliberately turning your attention to the crowd, avoiding his gaze, you weren't playing his game, you were playing yours. The thrill of the chase sent a shiver down your spine. The bar chattered around you, laughter and conversation creating a lively backdrop as you focused on maintaining an air of nonchalance, even as you could feel his eyes on you, studying you with that intensity.
A beautiful stemmed glass slid in front of you, snapping your attention to your hands. You mumbled a thankyou and you took a sip, savouring the sweet burn as it slid down your throat. It gave you a moment to gather your thoughts. Just as you were about to steal a glance his way, you noticed from your peripheral that he leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, a smirk playing on his lips. That confident look told you he knew exactly what you were doing.
"Nice wig," he said, his voice low and smooth, cutting through the noise of the bar like a knife. The compliment sent a rush of heat to your cheeks, but you kept your expression cool, shooting him a sidelong glance as if you were just as unfazed by him.
“Thanks,” you replied, forcing a casual tone. “Just thought I’d switch things up a bit.”
He raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. The game was on, and you were ready to play.
Logan leaned forward, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “It suits you, it's different.”
You felt a thrill at his words, the compliment warming you in ways you hadn’t anticipated. You kept your composure, but inside, your heart raced. “I like keeping things interesting,” you replied, matching his playful tone.
The atmosphere around you shifted slightly, the crowd fading into the background as you locked eyes again. The moment felt charged, filled with unspoken possibilities. You could sense the magnetic pull between you intensifying, and it was exhilarating.
He took a sip of his drink, never breaking eye contact. “Well, you're doing a good job of doing that."
You smiled, feeling a rush of confidence. “It's just a little bit of fun for a Thursday night. What about you? Same old routine, I bet?”
His smirk widened a glint of challenge in his eyes. “You could say that. But maybe I’m looking for something different tonight.”
The weight of his words hung in the air, sending a thrill of anticipation coursing through you. This was the moment you’d been waiting for. You leaned forward, pushing your breasts together. “Well, that's hard to imagine. What’s your idea of different?”
Logan’s eyes dropped to your cleavage. “How about we take this conversation somewhere a little more private?” His voice was low, rich with promise, and it sent a jolt of anticipation through you.
You raised an eyebrow, feigning casualness even as your heart raced. "And where would that be?”
He chuckled softly, a deep, rich sound that sent a shiver down your spine. “How about the upstairs at your place?”
The two of you made your way up the narrow staircase, the familiar creak of the wooden steps echoed in the silence. You could feel the heat radiating off him, each step heightening the anticipation of what was to come. You both reached his door, and his keys jingled as he unlocked it.
The door swung open, and you stepped inside as he held the door open for you. The soft light from his living room illuminated the space, casting warm shadows that danced along the walls. The place was surprisingly tidy, with the scent of cedar and booze lingering in the air.
Logan followed you in, closing the door behind him with a deliberate click that sent a thrill down your spine. “Welcome to my humble abode,” he said, his voice low and teasing.
You didn't know what you expected but it wasn't this. You took in the details of his space—artwork hung at odd angles, a well-worn couch sat invitingly in the center, and an empty whiskey glass perched on the coffee table. It was comfortable, lived-in, and spoke to the kind of man he was.
“Nice place,” you said, trying to sound casual, but your pulse quickened as you caught the intensity of his gaze. A beat passed.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, a hint of seriousness threading through his playful tone.
Your heart raced at the implication of his question. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t,” you replied biting your lip, voice steady from a boldness surging through you.
Logan smirked, his expression shifting from playful to something more primal and dark.
“Good. Because I don’t plan on holding back. Gotta teach you a lesson after all,”
Before you could respond, he closed the distance between you, backing you against the wall with a firm press of his body. The warmth of him enveloped you, and you felt your breath hitch as he leaned in, his lips hovering just inches from yours. As he grabbed your face, his calloused fingers dug into your cheeks roughly, parting your lips open.
“I know you took my shirt, you fucking freak,” he murmured, his voice thick and husky.
You were unable to form words as you felt the threat of what was to come flood your senses. Your heartbeat stammered in your rib cage, fear overcoming you but there was a thrilling undercurrent of excitement that was hard to ignore. Logan’s intense gaze held you captive, and the edge in his voice sent the tension crackling in the air between you.
“You didn’t think I’d notice?” he continued, a low chuckle escaping his lips, laced with a hint of danger. “A man owns about three good shirts and is bound to notice when one goes missing.” His thumb brushed over your bottom lip, making your breath hitch again, but you couldn’t bring yourself to respond.
“You’ve been watching me,” he stated, his voice dropping even lower. “Spying on me like some lovesick teenager. It’s cute, but it’s also… a little sick.” The intensity in his gaze softened slightly, a flicker of something deeper behind his fierce exterior.
You swallowed hard, the words caught in your throat. “I—”
“Save it,” he interrupted, his grip tightening around your jaw just enough to keep your attention focused on him. “Don't give me excuses. Tell me why.”
The question hung in the air, heavy and charged. What could you possibly say that would explain the tangled web of emotions and desires that had led you here? His proximity was intoxicating, and the conflict between fear and yearning made your head spin.
“I... I just wanted to understand you,” you finally managed, your voice barely above a whisper. “I hear you with the women you bring home... and I want that. ”
Logan's smile grows somehow even darker. "So ya' got all dressed up for me because you want me to fuck you like I do with the others? That right, sweetheart?"
The only thing you could do at this moment was give him an eager nod, the ache between your legs growing shamefully larger by the second.
“I’ll give you what you want kid', but you need to know something first.” He paused slightly, the air between you thick with tension.
“I’m the best at what I do, and I don’t do it very nicely.”
cliff hanger I know, but i'm such a slut for teasing.
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one sentence summaries of every TMA episode
(1-60 i'll add more soon)
part 2 up!
world's most effective anti-smoking PSA
man DOES NOT open coffin. everyone claps.
woman is judgemental towards neighbor even though she has hobbies that are just as weird.
book makes multiple people fall off chair.
man finds bag of teeth and decides he absolutely needs to fuck around and find out.
worm sti.
there was a SCARY MAN in the WAR.
fuck this tree
well at least ted bundy was a great father :)
i'm like 55% sure vampires are real and i'm willing to take those odds
bitches be dying. you're next.
we kill this man because he made the soda too warm.
sorry ur husband's dead. maybe get some help.
Unbox with me ! (GONE WRONG)
hah i'm safe from this one because i have decided to Never Go Into a Cave Ever.
man is so annoying about this spider that even his cat can't be bothered
man's bully finds a book about a Bone Turner and subsequently begins turning people's bones.
this guy sucks at DIY home improvement
aw maybe this priest didn't do anything THAT bad!
oh fuck nevermind
THE SKY ATE MY SON.
the worms stole my identity. i haven't left the house in days.
man beats german children at game of bravery and wins a coin (he later loses this coin)
my ex boyfriend gets casted in the muppets and dies
sorry mom, i've abandoned jesus for a new religion : jesus in the dark.
tall squiggly and HANDsome
old man arm wrestles demon through door knob
the buzzfeed unsolved guys finally catch a ghost but it's their sound tech
immortality but at what cost
working at the big meat factory was so traumatizing it made me vegetarian
i go to america and get almost killed by a furry
well if you love that wasp nest so much why don't you MARRY it (and then she did)
antisocial boat crew bands together to exclude one guy from a midnight party. he dies from the rejection.
bone apple teeth
remember when that norwegian guy threw a tantrum about us not digging a hole? turns out we were right to not dig that hole.
babe come over my parents have taken ill and passed away
man fucks around and it costs him everything
HOMOPHOBIC CHINESE VASE
oh god oh fuck the worms are here
thank you for participating in worms! please rate your wormsperience from 1 to 10.
the wormsperience has left me deeply scarred. i'm going to get lost in a tunnel about it.
🎸music makes me loose control🎸
spooky stories to tell at the next police slumber party
child threatens to run away and join the circus one too many times, and now the circus has come to cash in.
these mosquitoes are mad sus
man frequents local barnes and noble and then dies(?) after liking a book too much.
realtor gets eaten by the backrooms twice. it's a terrible shame.
both me and this weird goth dude have an unsatisfying italy vacation
guy who turns people's bones gets a new job where he continues to turn people's bones.
man who should never be allowed to build prisons builds a prison.
Something Big Is In The Water.
what if u heard me about 15 feet behind you fumbling around and calling out ur name 😳 (and we were both prison guards)
i'm going to be honest i didn't retain anything from this episode except that this guy has the silliest old man voice ever
everybody hates the tax man, including these creepy taxidermy animals
hmmgh. ant house.
so turns out being only 55% sure that vampires are real in my career as a vampire hunter has had some consequences.
the only thing keeping you company in space is your abandonment issues
🎶 the snack that smiles back 🎶 (my husband!)
maybe the real treasure was the house siblings we encased in spider web along the way.
your dead brother wrote books about ancient myths and WHAT
Part 2
#i hope this convinces you to listen to tma#podcast#the magnus archives#martin blackwood#tma#jon sims#sasha james#podcasts#gay podcasts#tim stoker#elias bouchard#peter lukas
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RON WEASLEY GUYS
The best most canon divergent my brain has been but please guys hear me out i
Okay so we all know the things that Harry, Ron and Hermione had to do to get to the sorcerer’s stone in the first book. Devils Snare, the key, the riddle and Wizarding Chess. We know that the Chess set was the work of Professor Mcgonagall, and assuming the protections were meant to work that means that Mcgonagall would have to have been an incredible chess player. Not above average, like GrandMaster level player. Given this when Ron beats McGonagall she is taken aback. Only 3 other people have beaten her, Albus, Severus and Tom Riddle. She takes to playing chess with Ron in the nights following in the common room (Ron doesn’t sleep at all until Harry wakes up and is back in the dorm). She has not beaten him. At the end of year feast when Dumbledore awards him points for the “best chess game Hogwarts have ever seen” the Slytherins and Ravenclaws are utterly ill. Throughout the rest of his Hogwarts career Ron is challenged by more and more students to play chess, Theo Nott, loses to him and the Slytherin students begin to look at him differently. Half of the Ravenclaws in their year watch in awe as he swiftly beats Parma. It continues like this through his time at Hogwarts, he has never lost. The Slytherin students begin to see his cunning mins, right after he beats Pucey, who is infamous for thinking 20 steps ahead. When Ron beats Marietta Edgecombe the Ravenclaws begin to follow him, they watch nearly all of his matches and take notes, completely ignoring the 5 pave paper due tomorrow. After Ron has beaten all of the students Snape (who has been listening to the whispers in the Slytherin common room) challenges him. The whole school watches with bated breath. It is well known that Snape has only ever lost to two people: Dumbledore and Voldemort. McGonagall promises him 15 Knuts if he wins, she can’t contain the shame any longer.
The ensuing chess match takes place over the span of several days, Snape is frequently writing late notes for the students who wish to see it. Other teachers are arriving to their respective classes late. Every time the game is paused Dumbledore casts the anti-tampering ward. This continues for nearly a week, Ron wins. Snape has never respected a Gryffindor more in his life (he is doubly harsh on him in potions, you beat one of the best players in the nation and you mean to tell me your potion is still bubbling??[Ron knows that Snape is seeing him, he just smiles and tweets for a few minutes before a perfect potion is bottled{Snape keeps them in his personal store]}) Eventually Ron is set to play Dumbledore, he is utterly terrified. Soon enough the match is the talk of Wizards across the nation, the Weasley family are all overjoyed for him, win or lose. The game begins and reporters from the Daily Prophet are there, Ron almost cracks, almost In the end after a week and a half Dumbledore’s eyes twinkle, with renewed vigor as he forfeits. Word gets out to Voldemort- he immediately tries to recruit Ron as a Death Eater. Every time Ron rejects him Voldemort sends an increasingly expensive and rare gift. Eventually Ron says if Voldemort vows to not hurt Harry that he will play him in chess, just once. The winner decides their own boon. The world is watching with baited breath as the best chess player and one of the most calculating minds in a century take the stage.The game lasts fornearly 2 weeks, a peace settles over the UK that has not been since Voldemort rose in that grave. The two declare a tie. No body wins, but Voldemort does realize that the war has become far too brutish.
#harry potter#hogwarts#slytherin#ron weasley#tom riddle#albus dumbledore#ron is a chess grandmaster#severus snape#smart ron#please guys ik its soooo canon divergent but ugh i just ugh#not cannon compliant#fuck the canon#chess#hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry#wizarding world
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currently having a hamilton moment .
#relistened to the full soundtrack. rewatched the proshot (not on D+ dw). im ill#yes its problematic dw I KNOW I KNOW. but it is my problematic fav and i will not lie to you and say i dont love this shit to my core#this shit makes me fucking batshit insane it is srsly a fucking masterpiece#dont get me started or i will talk about it for 5 trillion years. the fucking DETAILS MAN. IN EVERYTHING#THE MOTIFS IN THE MUSIC. THE VISUALS AND CHOREOGRAPHY AND BLOCKING. THE STORYTELLING#i cannot name a single other piece of media that is SO fucking cohesive in how everything relates to everything and everything#always comes back but changes in little ways and its all so circular and. GAHHHHHHHHHH im seriously goingto lose it#i feel like i notice something new every time its crazy. how did i never realize the emphasis on ''time'' when the full cast sings it in#the very beginning lined up directly parallels how they put emphasis on ''time'' in who lives who dies who tells your story#and dont get me fucking started on burr. oh my god. i could talk for YEARSSSSSS about his character and how well written he is and how#he and hamilton parallel each other and how their duel looms over the entire musical like its an unescapable prophecy.#''we keep meeting'' EVERYONE DIE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyways. sorry. i need to be put down. bye#serena.txt#also i can still remember the exact time phillip's heart stops in stay alive reprise despite it having been like 2 years#<- what does this say about society.
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݁ 𓂃 ៸៸៸ little red — miguel o’hara + reader: an innocent walk in the woods to your grandmother’s, with your red hood and basket turns a little different than expected.
contents : intended age gap. non con/dub con. dark!miggy. red riding hood au. kinda monster kink. primal kink. size kink wc 2.5k.
the whole town had heard the stories. a monster who lived in the woods. woods that parents used to let their kids frolic in, now turned into a desolate area everyone steered clear of. there were the occasional hunters who brought back food for their families, but they never travelled too far past the less denser trees. a horror story. that’s what it was. one kids told others to freak them out in the dark. the beast with claws, fangs, and blood red eyes. he ate anyone who dared venture too far. at least that’s the story the townspeople were going with.
“oh please, there’s no such thing as that beast.” your mother says as she tucks your hair into your hood. your hands clutch a basket, filled with breads and pastries that you insisted on baking yourself. “now, head straight to grandmothers cottage. no dawdling.” she speaks sternly, knowing how easy your attention can sway. you nod, adjusting the red hood around yourself. your grandmother was sick. ill to the point of staying bedridden. she hadn’t wanted to die in this dirty town, as she had put it. she wanted to die peacefully, alone in the woods. your mother was against it, but ever since you were young every argument had always been won by your grandmother.
you make your way out the door, as your mother calls behind you ‘to be back before the sun sets’. you raise your hand to acknowledge her words as you continue on to the edge of the woods. you could hear the distant birds chirping, the woods looking far less scary than normally portrayed. the way the sun gleamed through the gaps between the trees was actually rather beautiful. with a growing smile you skipped over a small running lake, the wood’s animals darting away from your feet.
you made it through the first section of woods with ease, your lips pressed together in a hum. but the moment you edged into the shadier parts of the bush and shrub the singing birds had fallen silent. your own soft tune slowed too, as you gazed around. most hunters stopped here, where the denser trees casted heavier shadows. grandmothers cottage shouldn’t be far. she had chosen a spot in the midst of the forest, as far in as she could make it, without being too close to the fast rushing lake.
you switched hands, holding the basket as your feet softly slipped past large twigs, the grass now a dark shade as the sun became blocked by the heavy leaves. you spared a look up, seeing less animals scurrying about in the trees, and even less on the forest floor. and that’s when you hear it. the faint snap of a branch that has you spinning on your heels. but the moment you turn you’re pleasantly surprised to see a small patch of sunlight, almost acting like a spotlight on bundles of flowers.
the gorgeous colours made your feet move, crouching down as you brushed your hand over the different petals, the worry from the snap gone entirely. “she’d love some…” you speak to yourself, thinking of your grandmother. along with the bread, some flowers would do nicely. a pretty touch. don’t dawdle. you could hear your mothers voice. “it won’t take long.” you say softly, as you fully kneel and begin to pick some of the flowers. “what brings you here, little girl?” a low voice has you pausing, hand midway from picking a tulip. you swiftly turn on your knees and gaze up.
there, standing before you is a man. no…your eyes dart down to his flexing hands. claws. you shift your gaze back up to his slightly shadowed face. and as he takes a step closer to you your breathing gets caught. fangs and red eyes. you stare at him, your body seemingly frozen. “well?” he asks, his tongue moving to run along his lower lip as he stares down at you. you rush to a stance, quickly looking around for your basket. “you make these yourself?” he speaks again, and you shift your gaze back to him to see him holding up your basket.
you’re hesitant to grab it off him, hesitant to even speak. “you’re a quiet thing, aren’t you?” his tone has shifted a fraction. his view of you originally being ‘intruder’, now instead…something else. something…small. something that smells so so sweet. “can you…can you give that back please?” your voice is so soft. almost like a caress to him. this only makes him tighten his hold on your basket. he keeps his eyes on you as he grabs out one of your pastries. he takes a bite as you hold back your protest. “mm.” he hums, still keeping those red eyes on you. “so…sweet…delicious.” he licks the small crumbs off his lower lip, giving you another view of his fangs. his eyes haven’t strayed from you. and the way he stated those words of praise. you had an uncomfortable feeling that he wasn’t praising the food. you carefully reach over, stepping closer to take the basket off him. “those aren’t for you.”
he watches as you near, letting you take the basket. he then leans down to your height, making your body stiffen. “what a shame.” his hand moves up to brush away a strand of hair, before his claw flips your hood down. he drags that same claw over you cheek, just feeling your skin. “maybe i’ll just have to try something else.” at first you don’t catch the look of hunger in his eyes, before his hand is drawing you closer by your neck. with wide eyes, you try and struggle away from him. “no, please, you don’t have to eat me. i’m…i won’t taste very good.” you try and persuade him, thinking him licking his fangs is a sign that he wants to kill you.
but he just chuckles, slipping that hand at the back of your neck, down your spine, making you straighten. his claws slip past your dress and coat, softly scratching at your back as he draws you closer to his large frame. “eat you?” he practically coos. “why would i eat you?” he’s still stroking the skin of your cheek, before he tilts your chin further up. “because…because you’re a…monster.” you tilt your head further back to get away from his grip, but he’s then picking you up, hiking your skirt along your thighs as you gasp and instinctively grab onto his shoulders.
“now that’s a little rude. you don’t even know me.” he says, claws nearly sinking into your legs, keeping you straddled around him as you do your best to try and struggle free. “i know of you. the beast in the woods. the one who eats those who trespass.” you breath out, gripping the material of his shirt tighter as you wriggle. his grip on you only harshens at your movements, as he manhandles you over his shoulder. you screech, your hits on his back doing nothing. with the fast flip, and the state that your dress was already in, your panties are now on display. cute, innocent panties that have easily captured the attention of the monster.
he tilts his head as he stares at your covered pussy, his mouth already salivating. “maybe i do eat those who venture too far into the woods.” he plays along with your fear, as his hand pushes your dress even farther over your ass. “no—“ but your words cut short when you feel two claws run right down the middle of your panties. your hips shift as you bite your lower lip harshly. “please…” your anger has dissipated, leaving you with only your fear. “begging already?” he coos, sticking his two claws right against where your entrance is. he can see the stain beginning to form. you’re soaked, and the sight makes his grip on you tighten.
he suddenly flips you back around, manhandling you onto the ground, where the shadows create a little nook. his hands are fast as he rips the cotton of your panties. “what are you—“ you try but choke on your words the minute the monster slips two of his fingers inside you. your legs shake as you push up on your elbows. the sound of his fingers going in and out of you is embarrassing. you grab at his wrist, your legs already shaking as you try not to succumb to the immediate pleasure you had begun to feel.
“n-no.” you breathe. “yes.” he breathes back, curling his fingers inside you. any further words are choked, as your lips part in a pathetic whimper. “aw.” he coos, now holding you down with his other hand on your stomach. “stop…no—god.” your pleas fall on deaf ears. “yeah…you’ll do nicely.” he hums, continuing to fuck you with his long fingers. too long, in your opinion. his claws scrap against your already sensitive insides, as you squirm on the ground.
your cheeks and nose are flushed, your mismatched breath almost egging him on. “stop squirming or maybe i will have to eat you.” those words have you pausing, fists clenching around the grass. “please…” you gulp out, stomach contracting. but all the beast does is finger you harder, pushing at your thighs so he can get a good look at what a mess he’s already made of you. and just as you’re about to cum, your legs shaking, he pulls away. this fact seems to make you squirm again, as he pushes you completely onto the ground, before fully hiking your dress up and over your breasts.
“i’m only inspecting you, sweetheart. not to give you pleasure. so, stay. still.” he speaks as his hands grab at your breasts, beginning to squeeze and fondle them as he pleases. he bounces them, while pinching your nipples, as you try to gulp down any arousal you still feel. “you’re a very pretty girl, aren’t you little red?” he hums, glancing at the red hood surrounding you on the ground. “tell me, why aren’t you some hunter looking to kill tiny animals?” he hums out as he keeps playing with your breasts, pushing them together, before circling your nipples.
through hard breathes you manage “i’m going to see my…my grandmother.” the monster grins. “with these breads? how sweet of you.” he coos, as he nudged your legs apart again, flicking at your clit experimentally, as he keeps playing with your tits. “i don’t usually get little things wandering into my forest. and certainly not this far in.” he then catches your gaze as he leans towards you. “now be a good girl f’me, and flip over.” he whispers, so close to your lips. after your pause he continues. “eating you is still an option. i haven’t had something delicious in a whi—“
but he’s cut off as you quickly turn around on the ground, his grip on your hips keeping them raised, as he grins. “that’s it…” you’re now pressed up against the grass, your ass stuck out for him as he taps at your pussy, making you jolt a fraction. “you’re rather tiny…” his tone gives away that he likes this fact, his fingers spreading your pussy lips as you then feel something hard pressed against your clit. you can’t see him, but can instantly tell what he’s about to do. you grip the grass again, looking for stability in this unstable situation.
from the taps of his cock against your pussy you can feel how weighted it is. the hint at his size making your fear accelerate. he then begins to push the head of his cock into your entrance making a small cry leave you. and once he begins to rut into you relentlessly, your body moving along the ground at his harsh thrusts, your mind turns dizzy. your lips parting as you claw at the grass, ripping out strands. “are you drooling, sweetheart?” he hums. “open your mouth wider, let me see.” he gazes at your face, pushed up against the ground, as he fucks you from behind.
you slowly open your mouth, as his fingers slip down and drag at the flesh of your inside bottom lip. “just as soaked as your cunt is, huh?” he then begins to play with your tongue, coating your spit over his claws and fingers. “making such a mess.” he coos, as his balls slap against your clit making a small whimper fall past his fingers. his free hand grips your hair, pulling your head slightly back as his cock goes deeper, making you cry out, drooling even more over his fingers. “how bout this…” he says, a little breathless from how well your hole is taking him. “your grandma can have your breads and pastries.” he glances at the basket, haphazardly thrown to the side. “and i can have you.”
he sticks his fingers further into your mouth until you’re practically gagging, your tits bouncing as he thrusts his hips into you. “that sounds fair doesn’t it?” he’s nodding, licking at his lower lip as he murmurs “dios…” you can hear his breathing change, showing he’s getting close. as his cock twitches inside you, he pulls out, bringing you around to kneeling by the grip of his fingers in your mouth. he holds your mouth wide open as he rests his cock on your tongue. “give it a lick, little red.” he’s so close. with drool coating your lower lip in a shimmer, and his fingers hooked inside, you drag your tongue over the tip of his cock, as his hips shudder, finally spilling down your throat.
he makes a mess of your mouth, your only solution being to swallow. you gulp down as much as you can, though some spill out due to the unwavering grip of his fingers in your mouth. he stares down at you, a new emotion behind his eyes, that says more than a passing hunger. he grabs your chin and leans down to lick the remaining mix of cum and drool off your lips. your mind is reeling, this whole situation feeling like a fever dream.
“i’m sure your grandmother is worried about you.” he hums, running his thumb over your chin and swollen lips. “you should get going. and don’t forget the pretty flowers.” his words are far too sinister to make you stand with a skip in your step. as he soothes your dirty dress down and fixes your hood, his cock away as if nothing had happened. he hands you back your basket, your shaky hands gripping it. “now run along, little girl. and please do remember to visit your poor, sick grandmother more often.”
it was a demand. not a suggestion.
© messylustt.tumblr please don’t steal, copy or translate my work onto other platforms.
#. ( spidey mark )#damn this is….#something#PHEW#the miguel effect#glitter dose#atsv miguel#miguel smut#miguel x reader#miguel#miguel ohara#miguel x you#miguel ohara x reader#miguel spiderverse#miguel spiderman#miguel x y/n#miguel o'hara#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel o’hara x you#miguel o’hara x y/n#spiderman 2099#spiderman 2099 x reader
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