#ill be back way more starting tomorrow I promise

[shra-vasti]

BE THERE FOR YOU, PSH

SYNOPSIS : You love your two best friends with your whole heart. The three of you have been inseparable since middle school, bound by laughter, secrets, and a promise to always stand by each other through thick and thin. So why does a strange, bitter feeling rises in your stomach every time they laugh a little too loudly together, their eyes meeting in ways that make you feel like the outsider? You try to shake it off. It's nothing. Right?

Or in which you're stuck in a love triangle with your two best friends.

• PAIRING: Park Sunghoon x afab!reader

• WORD COUNT: 18.4k

• CONTENT TAGS: Non idol au, university setting, angst, hurt/comfort, friends to ?, love triangle, slow burn (kdrama level slow, sorry I got carried away), slice of life, feeling isolated, mental illness (refer warnings section), emotional baggage, unrequited love, found family, miscommunication, alcohol, mentions of thunderstorms, Original character named Soojin, reader-insert, reader's hair are long enough to be tucked behind ears, Sunghoon is taller comparatively.

• WARNINGS: HEAVY angst, feeling isolated and ignored, imposter syndrome, depression, anxiety, self doubt, fear of failure, unhealthy habits, ED, emotional drainage, existential crisis, hospitalization (not reader), IV drops, depiction of blood on reader and Sunghoon, reader gets injured, attempted suicide x 2, depiction of character's death and funeral, unrequited love, hurt more than comfort, spiraling, Sunghoon gets wasted, no smut, slightly suggestive, let me know if I missed any.

• AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first full length fic, please leave feedback. I'm trying to get out of my years long writer's block. Like, reblog and comment would be appreciated. It feels nice to get back to writing. I hope you'll enjoy reading it♡ Happy reading♡

The cold winter wind nipped at your skin, you clutch your hands together. Your eyes drifted across the campus, a scowl surfacing on your face. You were waiting for Sunghoon and Soojin to meet at your usual hangout place in the campus, the common sitting area outside of the university's far right building. Few of the students occupied the area, some completing their works, others hanging around with their friend group.

Jake snickered from where he was sitting in front of you, pushing up his god-awful glasses with his one hand while he sipped his "deathpresso"- the infamous 7-shot espresso, as you liked to call it. You shot him a glare, leaning your back on the bench as Jay wrapped his hand around your shoulder, bringing your body closer to his, you obliged ofcourse, seeking solace in the warmth his body provided. Heeseung was sitting on your other side, giving absolutely zero fucks about his surrounding as he typed away his essay like his life depended on it (it was due tomorrow and he just started).

"These classes are draining the life out of me," Soojin sighed dramatically as if she wasn't one of the top students at her program, she removed the scarf wrapped around her neck and placed it neatly around yours and gave it a gentle tug. "I always need to look after you, why did you forget your scarf again?" She made herself comfortable beside Jake, your eyes lingered on Sunghoon who steadily walked towards your friend circle and sat on the unoccupied place beside Soojin. You smiled sheepishly at her as you watched Sunghoon button up her coat all the way up to safeguard her from the harsh winter breeze.

"I'm sorry, I forgot," You started but Sunghoon gave you a tight look which screamed disappointment rather than anger. "Yet again?" He raised an eyebrow, shutting you up completely. You look down pouting, the air around felt heavier as his eyes weighed you down. "I was thinking of throwing a party this year for my birthday," Jay expectantly looked at everyone, successfully diverting the topic, as he slipped his hand off your shoulder.

"You? Party? I think I've seen everything in my life now," Jay threw a crumpled piece of paper in Jake's direction as soon as those words slipped past his mouth.

This has been your life from the past three semesters, Jake and Jay's constant bickering coupled with Heeseung's struggle of keeping up with his 'academically challenging' classes. When you, Sunghoon and Soojin first decided to take admission in Decelis, you thought it would be just you three against the world like it has always been but now as you sit here surrounded by three more people who decided to take comfort in your little trio you wouldn't trade it for anything.

"Yeah that sounds like a well needed break before the summer exams kick our ass," Sunghoon laughed, "right?" He glanced towards Soojin expecting her to answer back but her silence made everyone's focus shift towards her. Your eyebrows pulled together as you noticed her drifting off from reality again, "Soojin," You called out making her flinch, she met your eyes before she looked towards Sunghoon who was now facing towards her with raised eyebrows. She laughed awkwardly as she half heartedly agreed to whatever question Sunghoon asked which she did not even listen to.

"Are you okay? If you're not feeling well we can leave," Soojin looked around at others before declining Sunghoon's words. Sunghoon sighed deeply as he tucked her hair behind her ear, looking into her eyes as if to reconfirm and she nodded her head, taking his hand in her hand and holding it tightly. There it was, the sickening feeling inside your stomach, back again as you looked at their intertwined hands. You swallowed the lump which began to form in your throat, inhaling deeply as you tore your eyes away from them.

Which proved to be a wrong move because your eyes landed on a certain boy with his god-awful glasses, who somehow was already looking at you as if he could see right through you. He sipped his espresso while throwing you a look of 'this-is-the-nth-time-I've-caught-you-giving-that-downbad-look-towards-your-long-time-bestfriend.' Your shoulders slumped, he scoffed, breaking eye contact and made a dramatic show of standing, gaining everyone's attention, even Heeseung's.

"I think I'm done for today guys," He smiled, narrowing his eyes at his three roommates. Jake, Jay, Sunghoon and Heeseung decided it would be better to live together after constantly struggling to find better housing separately outside of the campus as they refused to stay inside the campus dorms and Jay was more than happy to welcome the "Roofless Rizzlers" in his apartment. Jay stood up joining Jake while Heeseung started packing his belongings. He gave you a quick side hug before walking towards Soojin, ruffling her hair as he asked Sunghoon, "You coming?"

"You guys go ahead, I'll walk Soojin towards her dorm building first," Heeseung nodded, already expecting Sunghoon's answer before the words left his mouth and made his way towards the other boys patiently waiting for him. Your eyes followed them till they disappeared completely out of your sight. You stood up, adjusting the scarf Soojin placed around your neck, taking a few steps ahead and kneeling in front of where she was sitting. "Do you need me to stay with you today?" You softly caressed her hand as concern clouded your eyes, mimicking Sunghoon's.

She sighed like she carried the weight of the world around her shoulders, and maybe she really did. Every heavy breath, every soft sigh that escaped her cherry lips indicated the turmoil she carried deep within her very being. You guessed that's the price you need to pay when you're too good at what you do. As far as you remember Soojin has been an ideal daughter, teacher's favorite, a helping hand for fellow students, and a shoulder you and Sunghoon have constantly cried on. She's perfect, much like her long hair which sways with wind as if it flows just to touch her.

At one point of your life you thought nothing could get better than it already was for her, she was always at the center of the little bubble she had created, till that bubble shattered. The pieces stung your heart equally as it did to your hand when you plucked large fragments of glass from her wrist. Sunghoon frantically called the ambulance. Soojin had tried taking her own life in her room when her parents were away from the town.

Maybe it was a mother's instinct, maybe it was God's will as her grandmother said, when Soojin's mother called you, worried as she asked you to stay with Soojin that unfortunate night. You agreed, already texting Sunghoon to come join at the impromptu sleepover, you both wanted to surprise her but it was you who got surprised instead when you found her unconscious but still breathing in her room.

That night the ride towards the hospital was as chilling as the weather today, that night as Sunghoon and you sat beside each other covered in blood outside of the operation room, you made a promise to be there for Soojin, to take care of her, to prioritize her well being over your own needs and wants. You cried as the nurse tended your wounded hand, Sunghoon just sat beside you holding you close wondering if you were crying because of the injury or the sheer shock of it all.

You were teenagers then, you're adults now. But the feelings you felt that day were as clear as the morning sky mid-summer. And that feeling was creeping back upon you once again as you paid more attention towards Soojin. Her parents, grandparents, you and Sunghoon did everything you could do to help Soojin cope. Therapy, family trips, friends outing, you name it. Everyone was desperate to help her find her light again. You never talked about the suicide note you found in her room to anyone, not even Sunghoon, at her own request. It's still neatly folded and well kept at the far corner of your closest. You never read it but daily prayed to the universe that it will disappear in thin air somehow.

"I'll meet you guys tomorrow," You three were standing in front of her dorm building now. You bid her goodbye and watched as she made her way towards her designated floor. From the corner of the building Lia, Soojin's roommate, made her way towards you, a flicker of recognition and a smile of acknowledgement graced her lips as she patted your shoulder, "Don't worry, I got you guys, I'll call if she'll need you." The dorm selection happened on merit basis and you were second on the waiting list. You had to stay outside of the campus, life would've been easier if you were living with Soojin.

Sunghoon is silent beside you as you make your way towards the apartment you stay in. The sidewalk is draped with snow, it gleams with a slippery sheen in the soft evening light. You take a cautious glance towards the man you've come to recognize as your childhood best friend as you continue walking. Although things have changed significantly from how they were before, you're glad that Sunghoon's habit of walking you home never did.

Ever since the incident with Soojin, he has taken it upon himself to always be available for her, or maybe he takes care of her so feverishly because feels he needs to. Doesn't matter if his classes end early or late, if he's free or busy, he's by Soojin's side way before anyone else. You think maybe that's the reason you, even though you still wake up in the middle of the night by the nightmares, still sleep a little bit more soundly than he ever could.

He catches your eyes before you could tear it off of him, "why are you so forgetful, you know I've to be more focused on Soojin," He's nagging again, it's like a clockwork at this point, most of his thoughts begins and ends with her, you aren't even sure where Sunghoon ends and where Soojin begins. Perhaps you forget things because you want to see if he would care just as much if it were you in her place, you think you got your answers now.

You just look at him, your mind drifting towards the promise you made with each other for Soojin's sake. It was you who suggested that promise so why did it sting this so bad now? The bitter taste lingering in your mouth, why won't it go away easily? Since when did taking care of your ill-friend turned into a silent competition for you to have Sunghoon's attention? You're ruining everything you've worked hard to build, Soojin needs you both more than anything. You're pulled back to reality by Sunghoon as he tugs at your scarf, you silently glare at him as he begins taking off his gloves and putting it inside his coat's pocket.

A soft gasp leaves your lips before you could stop, his hands warm in comparison to your stiff and numb ones. He held your hands with such tenderness as if they would break if he didn't handle them carefully. He cradled your small hands in with his larger one, softly blowing warm air into them. His eyes were closed, eyebrows furrowed, completely immersed into the small act like there was nothing more significant than this moment. He pulled back, not before placing a gentle kiss on your connected hands, he exhaled, you shuddered.

"Try to look after yourself more," His voice was barely audible, like he was talking to himself more than you, "please? For me?" And who are you to deny when he looked at you as if it physically pained him to even think about you being in pain. He reached for his pocket again, slipping his gloves onto your bare hands. His eyes traced the path from your glove-covered hands to your eyes, "you'll do that for me yeah?" He waited till you nodded your head, a soft sigh escaping his lips.

He moved closer, tucking your hair behind the ear before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. You inhaled a sharp breath, the sky exhaled out the snowflakes.

Jay called you early in the morning in order to prepare for his birthday celebration, you had a clear schedule which Jay wanted to take advantage of. Jake, Heeseung and Sunghoon weren't present in their apartment as they have classes, Soojin would tag along with them after her class ends. You're helping Jay with the decorations, a displeased look painted on your face, "what are we? 10?" You skeptically side-eye your dear friend who was happily helping you stick a giant banner of 'Happy Birthday to me: the man, the myth, the majesty,' written in bold.

His signature cheeky, roblox-styled grin graced his face, he blew you a kiss before hugging your waist. "You love me anyway," You did your best to fight the urge to roll your eyes at him today, ruffling his hair lightly as you finished sticking the banner. Both of you look around the decorations you did. It was funny how Jay was helping you with his own birthday party. "Is the cake ready? Did you call the bakery? Let's buy drinks on the way back." Jay nodded at your words, already searching for his car keys as you grabbed your phone for a long day ahead of you.

"I'll get ready in Sunghoon's room," you informed as you made your way towards the stairs, Jay walking in front of you. Exhaustion creeped upon you due to all the preparations, you wonder how Jay managed to not even break a sweat the whole day, probably too excited since it was his day today. You entered Sunghoon's room which he shared with Jake, all of your belongings neatly placed beside his desk. You took a few essentials and made your way towards the attached bathroom deciding that a quick shower won't hurt you as they still had an hour at least to return from their classes.

You smiled to yourself, feeling a bit cheerful after taking a shower, getting dressed quickly and deciding to do your hair and makeup after they arrive. You sat on his desk chair, eyes mindlessly roaming around the room. You've been here countless times, still you feel a bit flustered being here alone with your thoughts. You decided irritating Jay would be a better option until others arrive. "Are you done getting ready?" You called Jay out from outside his room, a muffled 'leave me alone, I need to prepare to look my best' was all you heard in return.

Pouting, you made your way back towards Sunghoon's room, leaning against the doorframe in boredom, thinking of ways to entertain yourself for time being when your eyes landed on a hoodie sprawled below Sunghoon's bed. "Seriously?" You shook your head as you grabbed it to put it in the laundry basket when your eyes landed on two boxes, a red one fully closed, another black one half opened lying beneath the bed. They say curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction entered the chat as you sat on the floor to see what was inside it.

And maybe your mother was right when she said curiosity will lead to your downfall one day, because as you open the black box you were surprised to see it was filled with polaroids of Sunghoon and Soojin, planned and candid ones, on different occasions dating back from middle school till university, some cute keychains, few charms, and a bracelet which you don't recognize from your memory.

Silence grew heavy on your shoulders as you looked throughout the pictures, almost all of them were clicked when all three of you hung out, hell, some of the pictures were captured by you but there was no sign of you in any of the polaroids, you exhaled a breath you didn't even realize you were holding before keeping the box where it was. You stood up, dragging your feet towards Jake's bed and sat down, mind going haywire with all the thoughts and feelings you were suddenly bombarded with.

You did it upon yourself truthfully, if only you knew how to not snoop your nose in every single matter. A voice at the back of your head nagged at you, calling you stupid, about how you were just third wheeling in their relationship, about how their life would've been better if you weren't a part of it. Another voice chimed in, this one a little bit softer as it reminded you that those two are your best friends, they love you, they aren't isolating you from their lives, that they deserve to share a special bond with each other as much as you do with each of them.

You reluctantly decided to do your hair and makeup in order to escape from your feelings. Others will be arriving soon and you didn't want your feelings to get the best of you and ruin your friend's birthday. And as you got ready for the party, eye glassy as you bite back your tears, you swore to not fall in love with Sunghoon and be an obstacle in his happiness. You refused to let your negativity win, Soojin deserves the happiness only Sunghoon could bring in her life.

The music was blaring through the speaker and the crowd was alive, every corner of the room echoed with life and laughter. The air was a bit suffocating but it vibrated with full joy. The cameras were flashing, the laughter of your friends drowned into the night's symphony. The celebration continued, each of your friends giving their 'unsolicited advice,' and words of encouragement to the birthday boy. You sat on the couch beside Jake, who was already half drunk, his head on your shoulder as he mumbled incoherent facts about fishes.

"Something is bothering you," Jake's voice was nothing more than a whisper as he looked up at you. "Nothing is bothering me," you reasoned with him. Jake has always been someone who was able to see right through your acts and while you were great at hiding things and pretending to be fine, Jake somehow always catches you right in the act.

"If that nothing goes by the name of Sunghoon then I'll agree," Your eyes widened at his remark and even though he was only whispering you wouldn't risk anyone hearing it. "Seriously Jake, it's not what you think," Jake shook his head dismissing your words completely. "He deserves to know how you feel, you know, something about all that friends don't keep secrets and shit."

"I don't think that's a good idea, plus Soojin and him seem to be more comfy with each other since past few years anyway," you smiled bitterly as those words left your mouth and thankfully Jake chose not to intervene further and you silently thanked him for that. Maybe the alcohol finally got him, you weren't ready to have this conversation today anyway. You weren't sure how long you'll be able to hold onto these feelings but you needed to get rid of them for Soojin and Sunghoon's sake.

You scanned the room, many people left, leaving only close friends behind. Jay greeted the last guest goodbye, barely able to stand as Sunghoon balanced his weight. Even when he was shit-faced drunk, the gentleman knew his etiquette well. Now only the boys, you and Soojin were left, Jake still by your side, and you still haven't decided if you want to crash out here or go home.

"Let's watch a movie," You don't really comprehend who said that but you sighed in relief when everyone else just groaned in return. Soojin sat beside you, her arms crossed trying her best to fight back sleep, you chuckled at her state before giving her temple a kiss which immediately brought a smile on her face, Sunghoon sat beside Soojin. Jay and Heeseung sat on each of the love-seat respectively.

"I'm so tired, I just want to sleep forever," You might have to agree with Jay on this one. Sunghoon put his hand at the back of the couch, his actions prompting Soojin to put her head on his shoulder with practiced ease, like the place was meant for her to rest, like she knew everytime Sunghoon opened his arms, it was for her to find home. Jake was almost half asleep on you, your head buzzing in the aftermath of all the noise and screams. You tilt your head to rest against the couch, very much aware of Soojin softly complaining to Sunghoon about feeling tired after all the classes, then party, and how she'll have to go back to the dorms.

Sunghoon listened to every word escaping from her lips, smiling softly at her state. Soojin always complained about things but would go to the moon and back if it meant she'll get a single smile from her friends. You sighed, maybe going back to your apartment was genuinely a better idea. The constant train of thoughts inside your head broke when a hand slid below your head from where it was resting against the couch.

You looked to the side to see Sunghoon still talking with Soojin and occasionally with Heeseung and Jay, but his hand cradled your head as he soothingly traced circles on your head, his fingers tangled in your hair. And your attention should be on Soojin truthfully, given how overstimulated she feels while being constantly surrounded by people but your mind was hyper-aware of the way Sunghoon gently massaged your head, how gentle his fingers were.

His hand moved towards your ear, gave it a gentle tug before mindlessly tracing patterns on it. He was still talking with Heeseung about some dumb movie they watched last week. His touch continued, alternating between your head, ear and then back of your neck and you couldn't help but lean more into his hand. Somewhere deep down in your gut you knew you were doomed but you were glad he didn't stop with his touch either.

You flickered the light switch of your apartment on, Soojin making her way towards your bathroom to get fresh. You offered Soojin to stay the night at your place since it was way too late for her to go back to the dorms. You texted Sunghoon that you reached your apartment, took an oversized shirt and sweatpants from the closet and put it on bed for Soojin to wear. After Soojin was done, you did your own nightly routine, changing into comfy clothes, ready to sleep.

"I'll bring water for you," You smiled at Soojin who was already halfway into the dreamland and made your way to the kitchen. You checked your phone to see Sunghoon's reply, a simple 'call me when you can' glaring back at you. You checked the time, 03:00 AM, shrugging you decided to call him anyway. He picked up after two rings.

"Is she asleep?" You rolled your eyes at his voice, "what happened to hello? How are you?" You could picture his exaggerating sigh just as you heard it, "hello beautiful, why aren't you sleeping yet? Is Soojin asleep?" You turned back to take a look inside your bedroom, "Yeah, she's asleep." You slowly shut the bedroom door close so as to not disturb her sleep.

"Why? What's up?" You bit your lips as you sat on your couch waiting for him to answer, "I noticed she's been out of it for sometime, I'm worried about her," You exhaled a deep breath, adjusting your position on the couch as you listened Sunghoon recalling about the instances where Soojin would randomly zone out, get easily irritated and overwhelmed, tale-tell sign of her having troubles with her thoughts again.

You hummed in agreement, heart racing, fist clenching as you told him about your observations during your usual hangouts. You prayed the phase she was in would go away quickly, the summer exams were fast approaching and you knew she would be too sensitive during those phases, pulling all-nighters, not eating properly, ignoring everyone. That's how she gets when stressful situations arrive in her life. You have been used to it by now and you both try your best to be there for her during such times to make things easier for her. Sometimes risking your own grades just for her sake.

"Well....staying by her side and keeping an eye on her is all we can do for now," That was a no-brainer and Sunghoon didn't need you to voice out your answer to know you agree with him. "You've been helping Jay since morning, why aren't you asleep yet? You need proper rest for your body to function the next day, trouble." "Yeah, yeah...I know, I'll go to sleep now," you softly yawned.

"Okay, good night, take care of her and of yourself so that I can sleep peacefully, okay?" You nodded before realizing he can't hear you, "I will hoon, try not to stay awake so late at night too, this isn't your first time, you're making me worried sick too, you know." Sunghoon sighed before reluctantly agreeing with you. He knows he gets lost inside his head one too many times, he's aware you and Soojin try your best to pull at the threads of the maze his head creates. And he is trying his best, he swears to it, to be strong for both of you, especially for Soojin since her attempt. You bid your goodbye and make your way towards your bedroom to finally let sleep consume you.

The crisp morning light falls directly on your face, you groan, not yet ready to face the next day. You toss and turn before draping your hand and leg over Soojin's body, your head nuzzling at the crook of her neck. The touch of her lips on your head is featherlight as she sleepily holds your body closer to hers. "Morning sleepyhead," you whine in protest, hugging her body more closely, "don't wanna," Soojin laughs as her fingers thread through your hair, massaging your head lightly as her soft humming fills your ears.

For a moment your thoughts drift back to last night when Sunghoon's fingers were tangled in your hair before you felt yourself drifting off again. You could get used to this mornings, waking beside Soojin, freshening up and then preparing and eating breakfast together, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Maybe sometimes Sunghoon would join too, you and Sunghoon would bicker and Soojin would try her best to resolve the issue. Sleepovers with them were your favorite amongst everything.

"Move in with me," you didn't even move an inch, feeling utterly comfortable while cuddling with your best friend. "Why? Does my baby feel alone?" Even though there was a hint of teasing in Soojin's voice, she knew how lonely it gets to live alone. When you didn't answer back she just sighed, adjusting her position a little bit to get more comfortable, "how about next semester? Would you like that?"

"For real?" If the excitement wasn't detectable from your voice, the wide grin plastered on your face gave it away. Soojin just laughed, removing strands of hair sticking on your forehead as she nodded, "I've thought about it, you can't cook properly, I can't watch you eat unhealthy food on daily basis, I'll cook home-cooked meals for you, in return you wash the dishes, just like we always planned." You looked at her, still unsure but excited nonetheless, "we can watch as many movies as we want, I'll wash your hair when you don't feel like it, you'll help me do my homework when I get stuck on it. You won't have to worry about my health issues, I will always keep you entertained. Sounds like a plan."

Soojin sighed as she listened to you rambling about all the things you would do, how you'll throw a welcome party with the boys. You chatted and she paid attention to every word that left your mouth, throwing hums of appreciation and a few words to add to your neverending list of things you would do when she would move in. You both got fresh, made and ate breakfast together, cleaned the dishes and were now sprawled on your couch watching a newly released drama series.

"It has been a while since you and I spent time like this, right?" You tossed the popcorn in your mouth, nodding in agreement. Surprisingly Sunghoon has neither texted you or Soojin until now, maybe he's still asleep. "Sunghoon always cock-blocks us, who does he think he is?" Soojin just laughed, directing her attention towards the drama, "Don't be so harsh on him, you know how he is." You made a face, "whatever, I don't need him when I have you." You both know that's a white lie.

"You say you don't need him, but look at him like he hung up the stars in the sky," You choked on the popcorn you were eating at that, Soojin alarmed over your state as she patted your back to help. You looked at her wide-eyed, reaching for the glass of water kept on the coffee table with trembling hands. "What do you mean? I mean he indeed put the star stickers on the ceiling of my room in my parents house if that counts?" Soojin rolled her eyes so hard you thought they got stuck at the back of her head.

"You know what I'm talking about but if you aren't comfortable we won't discuss further," she picked up the empty bowl of popcorn, cleaning the mess you both made, "come to me when you're ready enough okay?" You couldn't help but let confusion overtake your features. And as Soojin hugged you goodbye and you stood in your hallway watching her go, you wondered why Soojin was suddenly talking about Sunghoon to you in this way? Does she not feel the same way about him? Were you perceiving everything wrong? Because as far as you knew, more than you, it was Soojin who looked at him like he hung stars in the sky.

The summer sun irritated your skin, your school's uniform blazer neatly placed on your lap, "ugh, I hate summer with burning passion," You tried putting your hair in a ponytail, muttering curses under your breath as summer heat consumed you whole. Soojin chuckled lightly before getting up from her seat, turning you around as she helped you with your hair. "Cry baby, you're in high school now...grow up," You gave Sunghoon a sharp glare, complaining to Soojin about how he's always so indifferent when it comes to you. Soojin just laughed, placing a gentle kiss on your head as she sat down behind you, placing her head on your shoulder.

It had been a year since Soojin's incident, and you were glad to hear her smile and laugh again, so if that meant you had to constantly bicker with Sunghoon then so be it. You were just glad you didn't lose her that day. When your eyes found Sunghoon he was already looking at you with a soft smile, a mutual understanding in your eyes. Soojin was smiling more these days, and you were glad things were going back to how they were.

"Ah, I forgot," You stood up frantically gathering your things as the other two watched you with confused eyes, "I've to help my mom with dinner since her friends are coming," Your blazer fell down on the ground, "need to go, I'll meet you guys tomorrow, byee." Sunghoon and Soojin could only shake their heads at your forgetfulness and you made a run towards the school's gate. You were halfway through your way when you realized your blazer was, in fact, not in your hand, you don't even recall where you dropped it.

"Fuck, how stupid I could get?" You grabbed your phone from your pocket and dialed your mom's number, thankful that she picked it up quickly. You told her about your blazer, of how you're unsure to run home or back towards school to find it. Your mother laughed, reassuring you that your dad had come home early to help, urging you to get your blazer before it's too late. You sighed in relief before running back towards school, hoping and praying you dropped it somewhere nearby. It had slowly started to get dark when you reached the school's ground, you made your way slowly towards the place you, Soojin and Sunghoon, hung out.

Your eyes fell upon your blazer neatly folded and placed upon the bench you were sitting along with Soojin and Sunghoon who's belongings. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion since both of them were nowhere in your sight. You made your way towards the back of the school filled with large palm trees, your feet coming to a stop as you caught a sight of them.

Soojin's hand was held by Sunghoon as they stood in front of each other, close, maybe a little too close, they were talking, you aren't sure about what. Your ears were ringing loudly anyway, and you stood there watching it all. Soojin stepped closer, her hand clutching his necktie as she leaned in close. Sunghoon's hand raising up to cradle her cheek. The distance between their lips shortened, you turned your back and never looked back till you reached your parents house, blazer still lying on the bench you were sitting earlier that day.

You sighed deeply, laying on your bed, as you remember watching them together. Sunghoon handed you the blazer, washed and ironed, first thing in the morning when he picked you up from your house the next day. You remember smiling awkwardly and being quiet all the way to school, even Soojin looked concerned. Everything was normal that day, between Sunghoon and Soojin at least, because all you did for the next few days after that was wonder when they'll break the news of them being a couple to you.

As the time passed, you thought less about it, maybe both of them just weren't ready to open up to you. Eventually you stopped wondering all together, cause nothing drastically changed between you three after that day. Soojin was still recovering from her traumas, maybe they wanted to take things slow. But something shifted slightly, Sunghoon started paying more attention towards Soojin, you thought it was inevitable if they had feelings for each other, you made peace with that fact. Back then you only feared they would forget you, that they'll forget they had another piece in their puzzle but as you grew older you realize you not only feared losing them as your friend but also about your growing feelings for Sunghoon.

You knew you had feelings for him way before you even realized, especially when he smiled at you, crooked teeth and all, when you fell down your bike on the first day of your middle school. You remember him apologizing, his small hand grabbing your smaller one as he helped you stand up, and how Soojin ran towards you both and scolded Sunghoon intensely for hurting her 'bestest best friend in the whole world.'

He just stood there as he listened to her scolding, his face as serious as it could get, like he wanted to prove Soojin that he was indeed deeply saddened by the fact that you got hurt. It took a while for Soojin's 11 year old self to calm herself down and you hugged her, face full of guilt as you explained that it should be you apologising since you weren't paying attention while riding the bike and almost hitting Sunghoon who wasn't even aware you were bolting towards him. The look on Soojin's face was priceless and Sunghoon offered to be both of your '2nd bestest best friend in the world' as an apology, you quickly agreed and the rest is history.

"I applied for this program because it was academically challenging but I did not think it would actually challenge me," Heeseung was struggling with his study material, his head propped lazily on your lap as he abandoned his laptop on the coffee table. "Oh poor bambi," You mumbled massaging his head to release some of his stress. Jake was drinking his deathpresso again as he sat surrounded by countless textbooks and binders. Jay and Sunghoon were studying together in Jay's room to not get distracted. Soojin was back in her dorm room, probably didn't even sleep for a minute.

You texted and called her in regular intervals to remind her to eat and rest, exam season was always too hectic. After sometime Heeseung got up to continue his study and you placed your textbook back in your lap to continue from where you left. One more paper and then you all were free for the rest of the summer.

"Are you planning on going home after exams?" Heeseung asked as all six of you were eating dinner at the local diner near the college campus. When Soojin didn't pick up her phone for the 2nd time, Sunghoon decided it was time to drag her out to force her to eat something. You were thankful that Heeseung, Jay and Jake had a mutual understanding about everything that had happened but never dared to touch the topic in front of Soojin. "Not me, I will try to find some summer jobs to save up money," Jake nodded at your words agreeing with you.

"I'm staying here too, I need to find and apply for internships as soon as possible," Sunghoon said, your eyes drifting to Soojin who agreed to stay with you the whole summer since she didn't want to go back home alone. Jay's family was going on a long vacation so he'll be gone for half of the summer holidays. Heeseung and Jake decided to be back from the holidays as soon as Jay came so that all of you could spend the rest of the summer together. "All the best for tomorrow guys," and you were off to your respective places.

Your steps felt light as you exited your exam hall, you decided worrying about how you wrote your exams now was useless anyway. You met the boys at the usual sitting area near the far right building. You checked the time, Soojin and Heeseung were always the last ones to exit the exam hall. You smiled, getting up from your seat as you spotted her walking towards you. "Soojin! Come fast!" Sunghoon shook his head as he grabbed your wrist, smiling lightly, making you sit back once again.

Soojin's steps flattered as she neared the spot, what once began as a smile on your face ended in tremble as you watched her balance tip, your feet were moving before your mind did, Sunghoon few steps ahead but still too far. You closed your eyes, unable to watch her hit the ground, you could hear distant voices of Jay, Jake and Sunghoon yelling at her to stay put and then everything went silent.

You opened your eyes, everything stilled, Soojin laid unconscious, in Heeseung's arms as he tapped her cheek to wake her up. Sunghoon reached forward, taking her from Heeseung's arm as he instructed Jay to get his car. You couldn't move, still glued in the same place as you watched everything unfold, eyes never leaving Soojin's face as Sunghoon placed her inside the car. Heeseung followed soon, making himself comfortable in the passenger's seat.

Somewhere in between, you felt Jake grab your arm and pull you towards his car. You let him drag you, your mind blank. He pushed you towards the passenger's seat and fastened your seat belt, and made his way towards the driver seat. The drive towards the hospital was silent, Jake throwing concerned glances at you as he kept on driving. You didn't even let him properly park before you were taking out your seatbelt and making a run towards the hospital.

You found Sunghoon and Jay near the end of the hallway. "Where's she?" "She's inside the room, the doctor is examining her, I heard the doctor say something about fatigue and low energy," You nodded at Jay before slumping against the chair, your hand trembling as you stared at the room she currently was in. You don't remember when Jake joined you three, you could hear Jay's voice in the distance explaining that Heeseung was taking care of the medical obligations, but their voices were muffled and all you could focus on was the door in front of you.

Sunghoon sat beside you, his fingers on your shirt's button where a few strands of hair had tangled in all the rush, you let him untangle them. It was his way of keeping himself grounded, paying more attention to trivial things in order to temporarily forget about the bigger ones. His hand grabbed your trembling ones, assuring you that it was probably due to stress. You forced yourself to listen to him, you forced yourself to believe in his words even when your instinct told you not to.

After some time, you were allowed to see Soojin. Sunghoon, Jay, Jake and Heeseung entered the room and you stayed back to ask the doctor about her condition. She explained to you how Soojin was severely dehydrated, she hadn't eaten in days so she had no energy left, and the all nighters she pulled didn't help her condition either.

When you entered the room, you simply asked Sunghoon to bring some juice and energy drink for Soojin. You sat beside her silently, holding her hand which wasn't connected to the IV tube, the same hand which bore the scar of the pain she endured years ago. Jay, Jake and Heeseung stayed with you, Jay put your head on his shoulder in a silent way to say he's there, right beside you. And as you sat there in the hospital room with all the boys by Soojin's side, a small tear escaped your eye realizing this is the closest you could get to a second home.

You made Jay, Jake and Heeseung go back to the apartment even though they were very reluctant. Sunghoon had gone with them to prepare some food for Soojin to eat in the hospital. You washed your face in the hospital's bathroom, looking at your reflection in the mirror. Something was bothering you at the back of your mind, but you decided to pay attention to it later. You made your way back into Soojin's room, she looked better now than before, she was talking with a nurse with a newfound enthusiasm which you couldn't find earlier when another nurse was checking up on her.

The nurse gave you a smile of acknowledgement as she scribbled on her notepad and left, you gave Soojin a wary look as you sat beside her. "This nurse is way nicer than the other one, kinder too, I like her," A smile graced your lips at her words, taking note of the fact that being nicer indeed makes people's life easier. "I told you to take care of yourself, I asked you many times if you've eaten, you lied to me?" Her face went pale, she avoided holding eye contact with you.

"I tried to eat, I couldn't swallow anything due to the anxiousness creeping up on me, what if I fail this exam?" You could see her eyes getting glassy as she rambled on about how the exams are stressing her, how she is feeling like a loser, "You've never once failed Soojin, and these percentage means nothing, all of us will love you the same even if you score less marks, I can guarantee you that I'll love you regardless of anything. I won't leave your side." You wiped the tears before they slid across her face, you were scared, scared for her, for her parents, for Sunghoon, for yourself. How are you supposed to make her realize she's more than her achievements and reputation? You were desperate to pull her out of this, desperate enough to pray.

"Really? You'll love me even if I fail all of my subjects? Even when I won't win that debate competition? Even when I look ugly? Will you?" She held your hands in her pale ones, like they were the only thing keeping her sane. "Yes, I'll love you through it all, not only me but Sunghoon too okay? Remember you're moving in with me next semester, I'll help you make flashcards and study materials and stay awake with you revising each and every topic. That's my promise to you, I'm still thinking about all of that, I'll be by your side."

"What if I ruin you? What if you get irritated by me? You have trouble sleeping, if you stay awake for me won't it affect your health too? What about your studies? Aren't your parents expecting you to graduate first class? Won't you feel suffocated? What if you'll start hating me-" You shut her mouth with your hand, you held her tighter in your arms as you repeatedly told her that it would never happen.

"Soojin, if I had two hearts, I would give you the second one too, just to break. So it doesn't matter to me, I will gladly embrace the inconveniences that come along with you. Those aren't inconveniences for me, nothing about you is an inconvenience for me, I chose your struggles when I chose you. Sunghoon and I are staying for good." You let her soak your shirt as she cried in your arms and you didn't let go even after she stopped.

"I think it will be better for me to go back home for the holidays, staying here will only stress me out more if I'll see someone working harder than me," You nodded at her words, maybe staying with family will keep her head off of the university's stress. You'll inform her parents about her condition too. "If that's what you want...I won't oppose it." Soojin gave you a warm smile, placing a kiss on your cheek, "can you promise me one thing?" 

"Promise? What?" She sat up straight facing you, she looked adorably cute in that hospital gown, you pinched her cheeks and she swat your hands away before once again holding them, "promise me you'll take care of yourself and Sunghoon when I am not here, both of you tend to get overbearing when it comes to me, and Sunghoon worries so much about me that it worries me," you let her words sink in your chest before you nodded, "I'll take care of him and me, pinky promise."

Your summer holidays are as boring as they could get, with only Sunghoon and you in the city while others are enjoying their families. You almost wished you went along with Soojin to your hometown instead. Sunghoon packed his bag and decided to live with you for the time being because you wouldn't shut up about being bored all the time. You tried looking for a job but the summer heat was unbearable, so work from home it is. Sunghoon, as he said, was indeed very busy with his internship applications and research. But at least you weren't alone.

You regularly FaceTimed and texted Soojin, even Sunghoon always joined in each and every call despite his schedule. But it seems your presence beside her would have been better than the calls you three shared. With time, the schedule got busier, you got another work from home opportunity which you could fit in your schedule. Sunghoon started his internship, and would only come back in the evening. The number of calls started declining the more you got exhausted due to work. And each day, the light inside Soojin's eyes started getting more and more dimmer. You occasionally talked with her mother to get updates from her, and she always said the same thing, Soojin wouldn't talk with them more than necessary.

"I had a talk with Soojin's mom yesterday," You were leaning back against the headboard and Sunghoon laid beside you, his eyes closed, finally being able to rest since it was a weekend. "I think I should go and pay her visit, she said Soojin is growing more and more quieter day by day." Sunghoon opened his eyes at that, shifting a bit as he laid his head on your lap instead, "Is it that bad? I will come with you." You played with his hair, thinking about his suggestion, maybe Soojin would appreciate Sunghoon's presence more than yours. "What about your internship?"

"I'll handle it, let's share this with Soojin. She'll be excited to know we're visiting her." Your eyes lit up at his suggestion as you FaceTimed Soojin. Sunghoon sat you straight leaning into your phone's frame. She picked up the phone at the last ring, "what's up?" You and Sunghoon waved as soon as you saw her face on the screen, she smiled half heartedly as she jumped on her bed to sleep.

"We're coming to meet you and maybe stay there for a couple of days." You smiled brightly at her as Sunghoon nodded his head. "Both of you? What about your jobs and your internships?" You laughed at her confused expression shaking your head, "Don't worry about that, nothing is more important than you," You nodded your head in agreement at Sunghoon's words. "Seriously guys! I'm really FINE, don't change your schedules for me, it's just a phase, I'll be alright!" She hung up the call before even listening.

You exchanged a look with Sunghoon at her sudden outburst, yeah, something was definitely wrong, yeah, you really needed to visit her to calm her down. She was getting pulled right back into the abyss you thought she left behind in high school. You immediately sent email to both your jobs for emergency leave and Sunghoon did the same with his internship. You both started packing your essentials so that the first thing both of you do in the morning is to board the train taking you back to your hometown.

The ride towards your hometown was filled with anxiousness and concern. You tried calling Soojin to tell her you'll be arriving early in the afternoon, then once again when you boarded the train, then again when you were halfway through your destination, but she didn't pick up even once. "I feel like throwing up since midnight, the feeling won't go away hoon," Sunghoon's face was hardened as he looked out the window, his persistent tapping of legs indicating the turmoil he himself was going through.

"It will go away, everything will be alright, it has to be," He anxiously checked the time and station every 5 minutes. He was getting agitated with every call getting ignored. Soojin had never ignored the call, even her parents won't pick up. The train ride was nerve wracking for both of you as you reached your destination.

Visiting Soojin straight after reaching your hometown was a decision both of you didn't need to verbalize. The house was locked when you arrived making you more confused than you already were. No one was picking up the phone, no one was in the house, what was even happening? You dialed her number again, the silence of your surroundings made it possible for you to hear the distant sound of a phone ringing from inside the house. She left the phone in the house. You heard a familiar voice call out your name, you and Sunghoon walked towards Soojin's neighbor, an old grandma who always gave you three sweets whenever she could. "Where are they?"

"You don't know?" You and Sunghoon exchanged a curious glance at her worried tone, "why?" You were practically holding onto the fence for dear life as you ushered grandma to continue, "Soojin attempted to take her life early in the morning today, all of them are at the hospital, she's in a very critical condition-"

Sunghoon dragged you out of the yard and towards the hospital before grandma couldn't even finish her sentence properly. You were out of breath, Sunghoon being relatively taller and faster, you let him drag your body along with him. He stopped right in front of the hospital gate, unable to bring himself to enter. "I'm scared," So were you, Sunghoon let you drag him inside the hospital, his mind numb as he forced himself to take one step after another. "She'll be alright, her parents were with her," you tried to reason out.

You spotted Soojin's younger brother and rushed towards him, he immediately broke down in your arms. Her mother and father were sitting outside of the operation room covered in blood as they prayed for her, it reminded you of the first time when you were here with Sunghoon. "She'll be alright, right?" Sunghoon kneeled in front of her mother, she broke down immediately after noticing you both. "What happened?" Your voice trembled as your eyes flickered between her parents and the operation room.

"We heard a some noise, a soft thud, I thought someone had barged into our house so I woke Soojin's dad to inspect and we found her lying on the ground unconscious, with blood dripping from her hand-" her mother couldn't stop another wave of tears from flowing so her dad continued, "they have been inside the OR for hours, she was breathing still, we informed police about this, her brother found a note."

"Tell her we don't expect much from her as long as she's happy, tell her we love her regardless, I can't take it anymore, let her live pain free, please," You hugged her mom as tears formed in your eyes. Sunghoon was already crying, his head resting against your lap. The light of the Operation room dimmed, her dad and mom were first to make a move towards the doors, you and Sunghoon stayed where you were, eyes trained towards the room.

The doctor walked out, his face gravely. At that moment, the world stood still. The doctor’s lips moved, but all you could hear was a roaring silence. Your heart knew before my mind caught up, Soojin was gone. The hallway was too quiet, too sterile for grief. When the doctor looked at you, you saw it in his eyes, loss wrapped in professionalism. His voice was calm, but it shattered your world. They always say you'll remember the exact moment you hear it. For you, it was the way the doctor hesitated before speaking, "I'm sorry, we tried everything we could."

The scent of incense irritated your nose and burned your eyes. With trembling hands you offered flowers in front of Soojin's portrait. Your parents and siblings stood beside you, bowing towards the altar as they silently mourned. Soojin was smiling brightly in her portrait, a picture captured by you in her happiest moment, framed in black ribbon above the altar. The room was filled with hushed conversations, some sympathetic, others judgmental. You decided you would stay quiet for Soojin's peaceful departure.

Jake and Jay were helping with the food, Heeseung stayed beside Soojin's parents in case they needed anything. Your eyes searched for Sunghoon who was seated at the far corner of the room, his parents right by his side as they consoled him. He just sat, not even moving an inch.

When the time arrived, Soojin's mother couldn't let go of her. Sunghoon gently but firmly held her back as she cried in his arms, defeated. Someone wailed loudly, who? You aren't sure, your eyes never left Soojin's face even when they closed the coffin, like a finality that this was it. Sunghoon, Jay, Jake and Heeseung, along with Soojin's brother and dad helped in picking up the coffin.

You helped her mother carry her portrait in the front. Outside air was chill, it sent a shiver down your spine. A white car was waiting outside the funeral hall, a coffin was placed, the car took off as everyone bowed for the last time.

You softly called out for Soojin's brother, "take your parents back home, they must be tired. Make sure they rest, you've to be strong for them. I'll handle the rest." He nodded his head, wiping his tears before urging his parents to get in Jay's car to drive back home.

You haven't cried the entire time, you weren't sure if you'll be able to. You stood in the middle of the empty funeral hall, eyes not leaving the spot Soojin was moments prior, you didn't move, you didn't dare to disturb the silence with your presence. You just stared at nothing in particular, your mind haywire with everything and nothing simultaneously. You wanted to cry, to yell, to feel something other than the hollowness you felt deep in your heart, but tears won't come out. You hand made its way inside your dress pocket, your fingers curled around a neatly folded envelope. "Soojin left it for you and Sunghoon, I found it beside the note addressed to us."

You aren't sure how much time has passed, you're still at the same place, unable to let go, unable to come to terms with the fact that a piece of your past has decided to stay frozen forever. You aren't sure how you'll escape this loneliness, when all of your memories till now had Soojin in it. You felt Sunghoon's presence before you saw him, he stood beside you for a moment, didn't utter a single word. You wondered how he's coping with the news, you haven't even spoken to him since yesterday, yet you've been with each other all along.

He sighed deeply, his hand circling around your wrist. He wordlessly dragged you out of the hall, you let him. You weren't sure where he was taking you, but you didn't protest. Evening breeze irritated your skin, it was still the middle of the summer, the air was too humid, suffocating you slowly. The breeze brought anything but peace to you. Sunghoon sat you down on one of the benches of the hall's garden. He never let go off your hand, fingers now intertwined with yours. The sky looked pretty today, you almost clicked a picture to send it to Soojin.

"I tried my best to make her understand, when she slept in my apartment on Jay's birthday, when she was hospitalized, I....I tried everything I could to help her understand but...." your voice gave out, you didn't know how to even explain this to him. Sunghoon gulped, "I did all I could do too, when she would complain about things while walking to our hangouts, when she got less marks than she anticipated, when I was walking with her while coming to Jay's party, when I called her at the middle of the night when she was pulling those all-nighters."

"Do you think she's at peace now?" You finally dared yourself to look at him, sullen eyes, chapped lips, ruined shirt collar. You heard him sigh, "maybe she is, she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders." You didn't disagree, instead you felt Sunghoon guide your head on his shoulder. "You know," You laughed bitterly, "I moved all of my things to accommodate hers, I was so excited that I was finally going to have a roommate." Sunghoon just listened as you sat there talking about how you had planned everything, you talked and talked till you couldn't anymore, till the security guard gently smiled at you both, telling you it's time to close.

The summer holidays came to an end, you and Sunghoon, occasionally Jay, Jake and Heeseung, spent it with Soojin's family. Helping them move Soojin's things from her dorm room, with house chores, with her brother's assignments, and everything which you could. Lia decided to move out of the dorm, the emptiness of their dorm room was eating her up she said, you don't blame her. She had spent everyday living with Soojin. You suggested that she visit you sometimes if she missed Soojin too much.

You were currently working on your assignment, it was past midnight yet you were wide awake. You were afraid to fall asleep, memories of Soojin's death lingering at the back of your mind like a tape record with a broken off button. Her absence was still fresh, you still sometimes dial her number or almost text her about random things. The group chat three of you had was silent now, yet sometimes you or Sunghoon would message a thing or two, mainly when your brains were too foggy to realize that Soojin isn't going to reply.

You texted Sunghoon asking about his whereabouts and now you can't help but keep on glancing at every notification on your phone hoping it's from him. He rarely ignored you, especially after what happened with Soojin, he had made it his personal mission to be there for you. You wondered where he was, he never left you hanging like this so you were getting anxious. Even though your conscience begged you to not disturb others who are sleeping, you still found yourself texting Jay to ask about Sunghoon.

Surprisingly, Jay replied immediately informing you that Sunghoon left the apartment hours ago and is yet to come back. You asked him if he had any idea where he was but he told you he thought Sunghoon was with you like always. You replied that you haven't seen or heard from him after he dropped you off from university to your apartment. You quickly exited the chat, dread creeping up on you, you silently prayed he will pick up this time.

After a few rings, you heard a faint sound coming from the other side of the phone, "Sunghoon?" You heard him take a sharp intake of breath followed by a very clear and loud hiccup. Soft music could be heard but it was muffled with the sounds of traffic, people and wind. "Where are you?" Another hiccup, "It's 5:00 AM, why are you awake?" You rubbed your tired eyes in exhaustion. "I asked you a question first! Are you drunk?"

"Very much," You got up, took the keys in your hand, locked your door, started your car and entered his location details on the map. "I'm coming to get you, stay where you are." You didn't think you would end up in this situation today, your eyelids were getting heavier due to lack of sleep. You saw him slumped against a lamppost near the bar, you helped him get inside your car, texting Jay that you found him and are now taking him to your apartment.

You haven't seen him quite this drunk, ever. You recalled having a conversation with Jake, about how Sunghoon wasn't much involved in their chats or hangouts, they figured he needed some time to himself, to deal with the grief like he wanted, if this is how he was planning on grieving then you weren't going to let it happen. You've already lost Soojin, you weren't going to let Sunghoon be next. You helped him with his shoes and jacket, pushing him towards your bedroom.

You laid him on your bed, helping him with his accessories, putting them on your nightstand. You pulled a blanket on him, and he quietly let you. You were skeptical with him being so compliant, normally he was very hard to handle when drunk. He had his eyes closed, letting you pamper him all you want, you removed a few hair from his forehead before pulling back to continue with your work.

"Don't leave," When you turned around, he was already sitting up looking at you with pleading eyes, you sighed as you made your way back, standing beside him. His hands circled around your waist, his head on your stomach, he nuzzled his head closer inhaling your scent, "don't leave please," his voice was muffled but you heard it anyway. You ran your fingers through his hair to calm him down. The desperation in his voice pulling your heart apart.

"I can't lose you too, you mean the world to me, I can't lose you like I lost Soojin, please," Your shirt soaked with his tears as he cried, shoulders shaking uncontrollably as he held you like his life depended on it. "I'm not leaving, I'm here," your presence grounded him as he cried till no tears left in his eyes to shed. Whispers of 'I feel so empty', 'I feel alone', 'I unintentionally called her but her brother picked the phone', 'where did I go wrong' left his mouth and you listened. After a while when silence surrounded you both you pushed him back against the bed, and climbed to the other side of the bed. He immediately shifted near you, taking your hand in between both of his and closed his eyes. You sighed, patting his back to help him sleep.

The constant shifting on your bed was what pulled you out of sleep the next morning, your mind still foggy as you turned to look beside you. The morning light seeped through the space between the curtains, you lifted your head to look at Sunghoon who was constantly tossing and turning. You chuckled lightly, pulling him by his shirt, he obliged albeit half confused, his hand circled around your waist, lazily pulling your body closer to his, tucking his head on your neck.

"Morning," you softly comb your finger through his hair, "My head is thumping like a drum," he whined, holding you tightly, his groggy morning voice sent shivers down your spine. You softly massaged his hair to help with his hangover. He hummed in delight, feeling a bit better. You stayed like that for a while, your eyes getting heavy once again.

"Shall I move in with you?" You were wide awake now, "Are you sleep talking?" Sunghoon leaned back a little to give you a tight look, then resumed his previous position. "No, you're bad at taking care of yourself, you don't sleep or eat properly, you're a walking hazard to put it simply...I'm afraid you need constant supervision."

"....that didn't help me feel better"

"It wasn't meant to make you feel better, just pure fact," you hit the back of his head to remind him of his hangover, he winced pinching your side in return. You slapped his hands too, "what are you good at anyway?" His fingers traced circles around your stomach and you gulped, clearing your throat, "washing dishes?" Sunghoon laughed loudly as he propped himself on his elbow to look at your face. "Washing dishes? Hmm....let's see...I can cook well, you can wash dishes, how does that sound?"

That sounds great, you wanted to tell him but words got stuck in your throat. It sounded exactly how you imagined living with your roommate would be like. How similar it was to what you discussed with Soojin. Sunghoon's smile flattered as he looked into your eyes, his free hand gently cradling your face to shift your attention back on him. "It sounds perfect," you muttered. He narrowed his eyes at you but didn't push further.

"You sound like you dread having a roommate," he pouted as he got off the bed, holding his head since it started spinning due to sudden movement. "I dread having you as my roommate, what if you poison me?" He scoffed, throwing a towel on your face, "trust me, I would have already if it was legally allowed. I don't want this handsome face to be behind the bars where no one would be able to appreciate it." You made sure he heard you gag at that thought.

You were eating breakfast or brunch if you looked at the time, talking about you having a chat with Soojin's parents and asking yours to visit them from time to time. Sunghoon smiled softly, playing with a fork rather than eating. He was happy to see you talk about Soojin without dread looming above you. Things haven't been easier, and he fears it won't ever. Thinking both of your lives would go on without Soojin already leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, but he knows Soojin wouldn't want him or you to be hung up on her.

Sunghoon isn't blind, perhaps a little too good at observation, he knew you still had nightmares from the time Soojin attempted to take her life, after all you were the first one to see her in that condition. He knew it would be more difficult for you to stay alone with Soojin gone. Soojin had once told him how you sleep better if you have someone with you. He thinks he finally understands what Soojin meant when he saw you sleeping soundly beside him. He didn't want to take a risk by leaving you alone, especially now that Soojin wasn't there for you to run up to.

You nudged his leg with yours when you saw him zoning out, "don't play with your food, how many times do I have to tell you?" He smirked at your words, "many times now that you agreed on being my roommate." You rolled your eyes, going back to eat your food.

Sunghoon sighed, finishing his food and helping you with the dishes, "you're pretty good at cooking, I always thought Jay or Soojin helped you but I guess I was wrong."

"Help me? You mean to say of all these years you were eating my food, you didn't think I was the one making it?" You nodding enthusiastically was not even the last reaction expected. "I need my daily dose of appreciation now as a compensation for all the years of ignorance."

"Ugh, I hate you with burning passion,"

"No, you don't."

"Yeah, I don't." Sunghoon dried his hands before ruffling your hair. "You're going back?" Sunghoon nodded, promising to shift his things into your apartment the following weekend.

As soon as Sunghoon entered his apartment he was greeted by a very stern looking Jay sitting beside a very oblivious and confused Jake. "You should at least inform someone before disappearing like that! Do you know how worried everyone was?" Sunghoon sighed, mumbling an apology to never repeat it again as he made his way towards his room to relax and continue his work.

He changed into more comfortable clothes, quickly texting you that he reached home. He stretched a bit before making his way towards his study desk to finish his assignment. As soon as he opened his laptop, his headache rolled back due to the screen light, he closed the laptop with lightning speed. He massaged his head, groaning lightly before pulling his hair in frustration. He stood up, trying to recall where he put his medicine box the last time he cleaned.

He found the box placed carelessly on the far end of Jake's computer. He took the box, walking back towards his bed to take the glass of water from the night stand. He swallowed the medicine and hoped it would work fast. The cover of the tablet fell down in the process. He sighed before crouching down to throw the trash in the dustbin when his eyes landed on the boxes kept below his bed. His eyes trained on the half opened one, he reached forward and opened it fully. He smiled at the polaroids and keychains as he rummaged through it. He stopped when he caught the sight of a bracelet, he picked it up bringing it up to his eyes before putting it back inside, closing the box.

Sunghoon sighed, fragments of his past life connecting together to make a bigger, clear, picture. That day started normal, Sunghoon picking you up from your house, you running away from him as soon as you spotted Soojin, him waving at her before continuing the classes. It was the last class of the day when Soojin approached him, "Sunghoon, do you have a spare book in your locker? I forgot mine." Very unlikely that Soojin would be the one to forget something but he got up to get her the book anyway.

The locker room was situated outside of the classes, in a common area. The hallway was empty as Sunghoon opened his locker. His eyes landed on a black box neatly placed inside his locker, confusion gracing his features as he looked around to see anyone who may have left it. Sunghoon's locker being filled with gifts and letters on certain occasions was nothing new, he had grown used to it, but he couldn't recall that day being anything special. A letter was neatly folded above the box, he carefully opened the letter and it didn't even take a minute for him to recognize the handwriting of Soojin.

'Before you open the box, I need to talk to you alone, meet me at our usual hangout after school?'

Sunghoon eyed the box, staring at it as if it would start spilling out secrets hidden inside of it. The class bell rang, he quietly grabbed a spare book and made his way back towards the last class of the day. He entered the class, immediately making eye contact with Soojin, she smiled at him while taking the book from his hand. She turned her head to look in your direction where you were happily laughing with your seatmate then back towards Sunghoon. "I want you to keep this between us," she looked at him expectantly, Sunghoon nodded before making his way towards his seat.

His mind was racing with countless scenarios, his foot tapping against the floor repeatedly. He was silent during the lecture but couldn't focus at all. His mind racing with thoughts. His eyes trailed towards you trying to keep up with the teacher's words and notes you were writing. Then they swayed towards Soojin who sat straight in her seat. If it wasn't Sunghoon, anyone else would think she was laser focused on the class.

While you were talking with your seatmate, Sunghoon made his way towards Soojin. "How are you planning on discussing things with me when you know I walk with her home?" Soojin smiled, turning towards you to realize you were already looking at her. She waved her hand towards you urging you to hurry up then turned back towards Sunghoon. "She needs to help her mom with something, she'll go first. I don't want her to feel isolated, I would have chosen another day if that wasn't the case." Sunghoon nodded his head, and then you joined them.

Sunghoon shook his head as he watched you hurriedly run to go home, "she dropped her blazer." Soojin dusted the dirt from your blazer, Sunghoon took it, folding it neatly. "What are you doing?" He just smiled at her confused gaze, "taking it with me to return it." Soojin gulped, taking the blazer from his hand and placing it beside their belongings. "Let's take a walk?"

Sunghoon didn't urge her to talk, he let her set the pace. He knew she was much more anxious than he'll ever be so she let her lead the discussion. They talked for a bit, about everything and nothing, for a moment it felt good, normal even, like it was just another day and this was just another conversation amongst the countless ones. Mid-laugh, Soojin stepped forward blocking his path, Sunghoon gulped, raising his eyebrows to let her know she had his attention.

She took a deep breath, "did you....open the box?" Sunghoon shook his head no, she smiled, thanking him for listening to her. "You alright? Is anyone bothering you?" He needed to know, the nervousness of her face making his thoughts spiral more. She laughed assuring him everything is normal before she stepped closer, taking one of his hands in hers. "Your presence has always given me a sense of security, especially after what I did, you both must have been too worried about me and I'm thankful that both of you are still by my side."

"That's what friends are for! I'm always here for you." Sunghoon smiled back, squeezing her hand in reassurance. "Right...friends," Soojin huffed a small breath before locking eyes with him again, "I'll be direct with you since I know I can share anything with you without the fear of any judgement okay?" Sunghoon nodded, the grip of his hand tightening a bit around hers as she continued, "I like you," she stopped a bit to watch his expressions but decided to continue before he could say anything, "I think I've liked you for a while now, but ever since that night when I made an attempt at taking my-...and you've been by my side taking care of me, I couldn't help myself, I couldn't let these feelings sit in my heart, that's why I'm saying it to you. I really like you Sunghoon, you make me want to live a little more."

'I really like you Sunghoon, you make me want to live a little more.' Those words echoed in his ears as he looked at her. He never left her hand, he didn't even know how to react. He gulped as he watched her step closer, her other hand grabbing his necktie to pull him closer. He closed his eyes on instinct more than approval, how would she react if he pulled back? Will she fall into depression? Will she feel humiliated? Embarrassed?

Soojin is a kind girl, dating her wouldn't be that bad, especially if his presence means so much to her, he cares about her more than anything. He surely would fall in love too. He just felt terrified for intentionally or unintentionally hurting her. His hand trembled when he cupped her cheek, Soojin inhaled sharply.

His first kiss, he should be grateful it will be with someone he trusts, someone he cared for. Their noses touched, he felt her breath on his lips. He tilted her head to the side, he was sure his heart would jump out of his ribs. His thumb traced her jawline slowly before it stopped right at her lips, a shift in the position and his lips touched her forehead instead. He pulled back, chest heaving heavily like he had run a marathon, "I-....Soojin?" He looked at her, confused.

Soojin laughed, pushing him away from her lightly with the same hand she clutched his necktie a few minutes ago, "I just wanted to try my luck I guess." Sunghoon opened his mouth to say something, anything really, Soojin's eyes were filled with tears as she awkwardly stepped back, looking around the place to ease the tension. "Why would you try to kiss me when you don't even like me romantically?" Her question caught him off guard, isn't that what she wanted?

"I....just. I don't want to hurt you Soojin, I just want you to feel loved and cared for." Soojin shook her head, grabbed his blazer with both of her hands and shook him slightly, "so you were ready to be with me just to make me happy? What about you?" He avoided her eyes, he placed his hands on her, lightly but firmly. "I thought it will be fine, I care for you,"

"No, you just pity me," Her voice cracked, "you just pity me because I tried to take my own life, I know I've things to deal with, but don't pity me, I can handle rejection but I don't want people around me to walk on eggshells." Sunghoon pulled her into his arms, "I like you, maybe not in a way you want; does that mean I'll leave your side? No. I'm staying with you, right by your side. I'll still be just one call, one message away. Nothing has to change."

"You promise?" He wiped the tears flowing from her eyes, smiling softly at her, "you'll always be my priority Soojin. I may not be your boyfriend but I'll be the best friend you ever need."

Weekend rolled over faster than you imagined, Sunghoon's belongings were roughly scattered all around your living room. Jake and Jay were currently sprawled upon the couch, eyes closed. Heeseung and Sunghoon were still unpacking things and placing them in the places you pointed out. By evening, most of the things were unpacked and Sunghoon finally let his former roommates free. They bid their goodbyes with Jake dramatically clinging onto Sunghoon, crying about missing his roommate. You let the fact that they lived 5 minutes drive away from you go for now.

You helped Sunghoon with the rest of the things, he vacuumed the floor and you mopped it after. Only a few words were exchanged between you, your playlist occupying most of the silence. "Shall we eat out? It's too late and I'm very hungry," Sunghoon agreed with you before going to shower. You waited till he was done to go shower. Your clothes feel sticky with all the moving and cleaning you did.

You grabbed the food, deciding it would be better to just eat in the car. "You're very quiet today. It's threatening." You glared at him, though you never stopped eating your sandwich. "Don't speak with your mouth full," You retorted after swallowing your food. He stuck his tongue at you, opening the cap of your drink before passing it to you. "It looks like it will rain soon." The sky was filled with dark clouds, harsh wind making you shiver. Sunghoon closed the windows before even a single drop of water could touch your skin.

The rain came down heavy, angry as it drummed against the car's roof. The windshield blocked your view immediately due to the sheer amount of raindrops. The trees swayed relentlessly, signs blurring, people running to shield themselves from the heavy downpour. From inside the car the rainstorm seemed loud, distant even. The air went dense, thick with the scent of earth, the soft hum of the engine grounding you to the moment. Then the thunderstorm struck and you involuntarily shuddered, it wasn't like you were scared of lightning but because you've been extra sensitive to everything lately.

Sunghoon removed his jacket and placed it on your shoulder engulfing you in his scent, "wanna go back?" You shook your head no, wearing his jacket properly. "It's dangerous to drive in this weather....let's just stay here till the rain calms down." Sunghoon wordlessly agreed, raising the temperature of AC up. Soft music filled your ears as you leaned back on the seat. It looked like you'll be stuck here for a while.

Sunghoon hummed along with the song while waiting for the rain to calm down. You peered at him from your spot, he looked at you from the rearview mirror, your eyes trailed from his thick eyebrows, to his lashes, then to the moles adorning his face, to the slope of his nose, and those plush lips. You gulped, forcing yourself to look away before he caught you. You sighed softly, the rain showed no signs of stopping, neither did your thoughts.

"How do you cope when you're left with your thoughts for too long?" You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, eyes still focused on the way rain dropped on the window and slid down, "I mean, it must've been hard for you after Soojin left." He took a moment to let your words sink in, trying to understand them fully before responding. "I let those thoughts consume me, I don't run away, ignoring will only delay the pain."

You exhaled a breath you didn't even realize you were holding, "you can talk to me if things get too hard you know. I'll be there for you." He looked at you wondering why you were saying all those things now, "It must have been hard for you too right? I'm not the only one who lost her."

"Hmm...it's different for me and for you though....you two shared a much different bond than the one you two shared with me," the words left your lips before your brain could comprehend. Your eyes widened as your eyes met Sunghoon's confused ones. "What are you saying?" You scoffed, breaking eye contact, avoiding his scrutinizing eyes. "I saw you two that day....I walked back to school since I dropped my blazer." You didn't need to say anything further to clarify what day you were referring to. His eyes widened, mouth opening and closing, you continued, "I thought at least one of you would say something, anything to me but neither of you did."

You fiddled with your hands, unable to look at him, unable to keep your emotions in check. You had suppressed everything you felt in your heart for Soojin's sake, for years at that. Soojin's absence brought more turmoil inside you rather than ease it. You wanted, no, needed answers. Not for you, maybe a little for you but more for Sunghoon, you didn't want him to hurt alone. You could at least be there for him when you couldn't for Soojin. Maybe that's how you wanted to bring peace to your heart. If he wasn't going to open up to you, how were you going to help him with it?

"I-...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel neglected, I thought Soojin would prefer things that way so I just went along with her and never told you." You played with the hem of his jacket. "So you just were never going to tell me if I didn't ask?" He shook his head, his hand making its way to hold yours. "Why does that thing matter though?"

"Why? It doesn't?" You released your hand from his hold, you decided to ignore his pained expression, "You did not think it was that important? Is that why you were so casual the next day? Because it didn't matter?" Sunghoon scoffed, not understanding where the conversation was heading. "If you saw us, why didn't you question us the next day? You always did that before!"

That pissed you off, "You wanted me to just barge in and ask you both, 'oh hey! I saw you both kissing and left, mind telling me if you're officially together or not' is that how you expected me to behave?" Your hands were flying everywhere as you spoke and Sunghoon just got more and more confused with each word spilling from your lips. And he knows he's stupid, Jake had countless times reminded him of that fact, but he couldn't help the way his eyes were more focused on your lips in that moment than anything else.

"Wait, we aren't-"

"I don't even want to discuss this, you're just pissing me off more, let's stop talking about this." Now it was his turn to get pissed, "Let me explain at least," your sharp glare shut him off quickly, "okay, whatever." Now not only was the atmosphere gloomy but so was the mood inside the car. The rain stopped and you sighed in relief, at least you could go back to your apartment and create some distance between you two. If this was how your first night ended after becoming roommates, you could only imagine the rest of the days.

You got off the car as soon as he parked the car, Sunghoon following suit. You fumbled with your keys trying to get it in, he gently grabbed them from your hand and easily opened the door in one go, now that just pissed you off more. You removed the shoes, stomping inside your room. Sunghoon just laughed to himself, "what a brat." He made his way inside his room, the former guest room planning on having a talk with you tomorrow after you've calmed down.

You threw your body on your bed, groaning at the way your body aches after helping Sunghoon move his things. He was so sweet when he asked if he could move in with you, and now he's behaving like that. You questioned why you have feelings for him in- "Why am I questioning? I don't have feelings for him." you decided you need a little sleep and peace for your mind to function properly again.

You were cozy, the weather outside was cool, wind was still blowing, the smell of earth after rain filling the air, your soft bed with your softest blanket draped around your body. You were in dreamland. You knew the sleep would be different after all that labour you did today, but that's not how that works right? You were thirsty, your throat screamed for your mercy, you searched for the glass of water on your nightstand only to realize you didn't refill it. You smashed your head against the pillow and screamed into it, then you made your way towards the kitchen to drink some water.

You flicked the kitchen light on, lazily drinking water when a loud thunderstorm echoed and you were surrounded by darkness. The yell that escaped your throat was intended to be in your imagination but Sunghoon heard it clearly, which made him frantically get up from his bed mid-sleep, and fall down. He got up, hurriedly making his way towards where your voice came from. By this time, the small light from the hallway window was the only thing illuminating the apartment.

He made his way towards the kitchen, still a bit hazy from waking up abruptly. He called out your name, "I'm here," he followed your voice. You were sitting on the floor at the corner of the kitchen. Your hand grabbed his as soon as you saw his silhouette near you. He freaked out a little when you grabbed his hand, but he wasn't going to let you know that.

"Hey, I'm here for you okay? Don't be scared." He sat beside you, wrapping his hand around your shoulder. He could feel your body slightly trembling, he pulled you closer, wrapping his other hand around you too, caging you in his embrace. You wrapped your arms around his waist to ground yourself. You have always feared darkness with burning passion. Normally you would always have your phone with you or near you to get through it.

Sunghoon drew out a long breath, his heart picking up speed at close proximity. Sure he has slept beside you, even hugged you countless of times but this felt more intimate, more vulnerable, more exposed. "You're still trembling," He pulled away from you in order to check on you but you grabbed his shirt in your hands, not letting go. Another lightening struck and you flinched, his hands grabbed your waist, pulling you up and onto his lap like you weighed nothing.

A loud gasp escaped your lips, he moved you till you were straddling his lap. His hands guided yours around his neck before his own made their way around your waist. He closed the distance between you in one push. His head found home in your neck, his arms tightening around you. A whimper left your lips as you hugged him. He rubbed your back, mumbling sweet nothings in your hair to help ease your nerves. You pulled back slightly, now that your vision had adjusted, you could see his silhouette though it was still very dark. You still hand your arms wrapped around him loosely and his grip shifted on your sides now. His thumbs draw circles around the area.

"We never kissed," His voice was more clear than the sky in the night's silence, "Soojin confessed to me that day, I got scared that she would get depressed if I rejected, I was afraid to be the reason for her next attempt, so I just went along with it. I thought maybe she'd be better if I said yes, but when I tried to kiss her she pulled back."

He continued, "I never told you anything because I didn't want Soojin to feel humiliated, she never discussed it with me either. Although I did not reciprocate, I still felt the need to be there for her more because she told me she felt safer with me around."

"I always thought you both had feelings for each other but were just toying around."

"Why would we be toying around if the feelings were mutual?"

"How would I know that?"

"God really said, 'no thoughts just vibes' with you," You slapped his shoulder as you leaned back a bit more. "What about that gift box?" You questioned, "exactly how many things you know about, trouble?" You groaned loudly before slamming your head against his shoulder. "I saw it on Jay's birthday when I picked up your hoodie from the floor, you aren't good at hiding."

"So the blame is on me?"

"Yes, of course. Who else?"

Living with Sunghoon was more peaceful than you initially thought. It has been months since the incident but nothing really changed, except now you had a companion to stay with. You couldn't really point but after Sunghoon's clarification days of turmoil finally stilled inside your mind, you realized how heavy your thoughts had been before that.

"Ready for college?" You peeked from the kitchen to see Sunghoon already near the door wearing his shoes. You gave him an okay sign, a half eaten bread in your mouth, he chuckled at your state urging you to hurry up. You finished your routine, locking the door behind and made your way out of your apartment complex. "We're driving today?"

"Jake wanted to go out after finishing classes." You entered the car, already feeling excited to spend some time with them. It had been a while, in between classes, assignments and everything, you only met each other in the university briefly. You missed spending time with them. "I missed them."

"Yeah, I can see it on your face." Sunghoon chuckled, reaching out to help you with the seatbelt. Your breath hitched at the close proximity and he just smirked, having the time of his life teasing you. He pulled back, not before throwing a wink at you, and you pulled his ear in response. You adjusted yourself in your seat as Sunghoon began driving.

"Jake, my baby!" The moment you spotted Jake a wide smile spread across your face, and before you could think your feet were already moving. You broke into a run, heart pounding with joy. When you finally reached him, you threw your arms around him in a tight embrace. He hugged you back, his arms tightening around your waist as he lifted you up and spun you around. Jay made a face when you pulled away from Jake, "You act like you didn't just meet yesterday,"

"Don't sulk, I missed you too." You threw yourself on him, although he put up a bit of a fight, he hugged you back nonetheless, "it feels good to see you smile like this again." Heeseung pushed Jay aside before engulfing you in his arms. "Missed you so much, can't handle these two without you, I was crashing out so bad." Sunghoon joined as soon as Heeseung let go of you, "Shall we head inside?"

All five of you made your way inside the arcade, you stood back letting the boys have their moment together, they rarely spend time together like before since Sunghoon moved in with you. Jake noticed your absence before anyone else did, making his way towards you he grabbed your hand and pulled you towards dance machines where Heeseung was currently standing, you stood beside him. He gave you a smirk before starting the game, you smirked back challenging him. What started as friendly competition, turned into you, Jay, Jake and Sunghoon rolling on the floor laughing as Heeseung slipped and fell.

"You okay?" You extended your hand to help him, he glared at you half angry half smiling as he held your hand. "You aren't hurt right?" He shook his head no, before holding Jake on a chokehold since he couldn't stop laughing. The rest of the day was filled with laughter, with conversations and gossip you missed having with them. For a moment, as you looked at them animatedly talking, pushing each other in annoyance everything felt normal.

For a moment you felt at ease, when Jake whispered something funny in your ear you turned to your other side, almost instinctively, to tell Soojin about it, then you stopped when realization hit you. This wasn't the first time it was happening, and you're sure this wasn't surely the last. All of you were still trying to adjust to life without one member of your little friend group.

Heeseung, Jay and Jake occasionally visited Soojin's parents if they happened to be near your hometown. Her mother once expressed her gratitude towards the boys' presence to you. You were happy that none of you were erasing her from your life, she was still present with you all. Especially in small moments like this when any one of you suddenly remembered her. She wasn't physically there with you, but you made sure she'll be with you in your memories.

Sunghoon nudged your shoulder with his, noticing that you were in your head again. He raised his eyebrows and you smiled, shaking your head as you ate your food, joining the conversation back. Sunghoon leaned back, his hand sliding across the back of your chair. You shot him a suspicious glance, he just shrugged. The night continued and soon Jay, Jake and Heeseung left.

The weather started getting cool again, you had your jacket with you this time, Sunghoon bought it knowing you forget easily, he was starting to get suspicious that you were doing this on purpose. "You zoned out again, you're doing that more these days." You gave him a look, "I'm trying my level best with everything, leave me alone." He just shrugged, draping his hand on your shoulder and pulling you flush against his body. You yelped but slid your hand against his waist anyway. You both decided to walk for sometime before heading back, the weather was too good to stay inside.

"You know," He started, you looked at him but his eyes were trained straight ahead, "there are times when I don't know what to do with the time I have in my hand, I don't need to have my phone close to me incase something would happen, I got so used to doting around Soojin that I don't know what I should do now. I moved in with you, so now even if I'm worried about you I can just solve your worries in person, I almost feel empty." He was looking at you now, his smile soft but still strained.

"I get it, but maybe it's time for us to honor her wishes rather than feeling guilty about it. You remember what she wrote in the letter right?" Sunghoon sighed, coming to a stop when he could see the city's skyline. You gave him the letter addressed to both of you after a few days of living with him. You stood beside him, recalling the things Soojin wrote for you. You may have known her your whole life, but you realized you failed to understand the roots of her struggles while trying your best to help her cope.

'I felt like an obstacle in your life, I wanted you both to focus on your own life more. I wanted to just feel normal with you. I couldn't bear watching you guys miss important milestones in your life in order to help me with my own, I felt like I was using you. I love and appreciate both of you, please live your life without any burden. Live your life the way you were supposed to, not focused on me, but on yourself. You'll both do that for me right?'

"Wanna go back?" You asked as you turned around to go back towards your car when you felt his hand grasping yours and pulling back. Your feet stumbled and you collided against him. You looked up meeting his gaze, the cold air sending a chill down your spine. His gaze darkened, his other hand sneaking around your waist to hold you properly.

"Aren't you a little too impatient?" He tucked your hair behind your ear, leaning close till your noses touched. Your breath hitched, one hand still in his hold and other clutching his jacket tightly. You felt his hand slip off your waist but neither of you made any attempt at pulling away. He held you in place with his gaze, the hand holding yours drawing small circles around your wrist. Your pulse was so erratic you were afraid he could feel it.

He raised his hand, his fingers lingered on your cheek, the softness his eyes held made your heart flutter. You tilted your head, and your eyes fluttered close. He looked at you for a moment, not too long because he was losing his control too. His lips met yours, the touch gentle, cautious like he was giving you a gateway to pull back if you wanted to. You sighed against his lips, your hand found its way towards his collar, pulling him closer. Something shifted inside him at your actions, his movements a little clumsy, he pulled you closer deepening the kiss.

The sheer pressure of his actions drew out a surprised gasp from you. You hand tightly holding his shoulders to ground yourself. He caught you just in time, without breaking the kiss. His lips parted, tongue sliding across your bottom lip, you parted your lips, his tongue exploring your mouth like he waited all his life just for this moment. You didn't feel the shift in your positions till your back hit the railings of the sidewalk you were standing at.

His hands cradled your face, you pulled away just enough to breathe, forehead touching, trembling and breathless, as if breathing was just another interruption. He didn't stop, pecking your lips once, twice and once again just because. His lips found their way towards your forehead, then your eyes, nose, cheeks and they were back again on your lips. The kiss this time was slow, the urgency was still present, but it was masked with something softer.

The distant traffic sound made you well aware of your surroundings. You pushed him away gently, your hand trembling against his chest. You looked at his state, chest heaving, hair disheveled, corner of his lips stained with your lipstick. A soft laugh escaped your lips, you hand raising to remove the lipstick stain from his lips, he leaned against your touch, his actions pulling at your heart, that's when you noticed.

You blinked, unsure if you were imagining things, you bought your hand closer. You froze, your fingers brushing against the cold metal you were sure wasn't there before. Your eyes widened when you recognized the bracelet which was neatly placed around your wrist, the one you saw in Sunghoon's room at Jay's party. "When did it get here? Is this for me?"

Sunghoon just smiled at you, locking you in between his arms and railing. "Hmm, for you, and about how it got there, I have my ways," he smirked, one of his hands tracing your lips. He placed the bracelet on your hand when he pushed you against the railing in the middle of kiss, the realization making heat crawl up your face. Sunghoon's lips find yours again, almost as if it's the only place that brings him solace. Your fingers grabbed his hair, pulling him closer. You don't remember how much time you spent just kissing each other, you've lost track of it far ago anyway.

"I love you," He whispered against your lips, pushing his body closer to yours if it was even possible. For a minute you forgot how to breathe. "I've loved you for as long as I can remember and I regret not having you like this before. Soojin was right, should've made the move years ago."

You pulled back, "Soojin knew about it?" He just smiled, kissing your cheek before continuing, "Well, Soojin knew about my feelings way before I did, it's kind of ironic if you think about it, something about the way I look at you when you're not noticing. She bought this bracelet for you, she wanted me to give it to you when I finally act on my feelings so here we are."

You held the bracelet closer, "is this her way of giving blessing to us?" Tears welled up in your eyes as a choked sob escaped your throat. She knew Sunghoon had feelings for you, she knew you had feelings for him, and she was trying her best to not be in the middle of it. You always thought you were the one getting isolated when in reality, it was Soojin trying her best to not get in the middle of both of you. Sunghoon wiped the tears that escaped your eyes, his own vision getting blurry. "I couldn't bring myself to confess when I knew she had feelings for me too."

"And that is the exact reason she was so fed up with us Sunghoon." His head hung low, in the process of trying to protect your best friend you both completely disregarded her need to blend in. Yours, Sunghoon's, her parent's life circled around her to the point she felt suffocated, maybe she felt guilty for unintentionally being the reason people around her neglected their own needs.

You cupped his face, kissing his eyes. You pulled him in your arms, inhaling his scent. "I love you too, more than anything." His arms tightened around your waist and you stayed like that for a while basking in each other's embrace. You both made your way back to the car to go to your apartment, one of his hands grabbing your thigh and occasionally squeezing it. Both of you were still riding on the high of your newfound confessions. None of you could keep your hands off of each other but decided to take things slowly. You had plenty of time together anyway.

You were ready to call it a night, freshly changed into your pajamas when you heard a knock on your bedroom door. Sunghoon was leaning against the doorframe, in his hand he carried a red box. You looked at him curiously, a silent question flickering behind your eyes. He just shrugged and placed the box in your lap and sat before you.

"The black box is the one Soojin gave me when she confessed, when I went home and opened it, the box was filled with different keychains and charms and polaroids of us," He explained as you opened the box then he continued, "there were polaroids of me, you, hers, of both of us, of me and Soojin." You nodded at him as your eyebrows furrowed looking at the contents of the box.

You looked at him and he just scratched the back of his neck smiling sheepishly, "I separated the polaroids which had you and me, and even your candids in my bag and Soojin saw them one day. She just laughed and told me to get another box to keep the things so I won't embarrass myself like that in front of you." You laughed at his words and he gave you a look which said, 'this-is-the-reason-I-wasn't-telling-you-about-things-before.'

The box was filled with the polaroids of you, of you and him together, the locket which you once left in his house, the greeting card you gave him on his 12th birthday, your drawings which you thought you threw away in trash bins. You laughed at yourself, so this was the reason why the black box was filled with polaroids of Soojin and Sunghoon only. You put them back, closing the box and putting it inside the drawer of your nightstand.

"If I had been a little bit more curious that day, I would've found you had a huge crush on me on Jay's birthday," You sighed dramatically, plopping yourself back onto your bed. Sunghoon lightly slapped your knees before making his way upwards, his arms placed on either side of your head as he hovered above you, caging you with his body. "You're such a menace," he grumbled, putting all of his weight on you, as he trailed kisses down your neck.

You sighed softly, his hands roaming all around your body. His mouth is working on your neck, sucking, biting, licking. You were sure your neck would be adorned with love marks after he was done with you. You ran your fingers through his hair, your other hand sliding across his shoulder as you both drifted off to sleep.

You don't think you'll ever forget what Soojin did in order for you to be here at this moment. Soojin was an integral part of both of your lives and she'll continue to play that part forever. She will always remain the link which joined you and Sunghoon together. You know she's still with you, maybe not how she used to be.

But now her presence lingers when morning sunlight makes you groans, it lingers when Sunghoon makes home cooked meals for you, when Jake wraps his scarf around your neck when you forget it yet again, when Heeseung ruffles your hair and constantly reminds you to eat during exam season, in a way Jay asks you to help him make flashcards for his study materials.

She never left, she just divided her love for you in four equal parts. And if you ever were left alone with your thoughts for too long, she lingered as the bracelet wrapped around your wrist to remind you she is still with you. You know she'll always be there for you and Sunghoon.

[skuntank]

Diantha three wolf moon cosplay real

[tbaluver]

hihi !! ^-^ I hope you’re doing great! I want to see your take on how the lads men would react when they’re lovemaking and you fall asleep and they realize the condom broke what do you think ?? take your time !! ❤️

The Condom Broke- The Love And DeepSpace Men

parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader, Caleb x Reader genre: smut, suggestive a/n: hihi anonnie! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ i hope you're doing well too! apologies for posting late hopefully ill post more this week! i hope this was alright and that you enjoy reading! (∩˃o˂∩)♡ any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Xavier:

tags: mentioning of backshots

you were both utterly tired. just minutes ago, the room had been filled with ragged breaths and tangled limbs, your bodies moving with desperate need for each other. now, the adrenaline has faded.

he watched how your breathing grew slower, your body sinking deeper into the mattress. your eyes fluttered shut a while ago and he could tell by the way your chest rose and fell that you’d surrender into sleep.

xavier’s eyes were heavy, his body aching to rest, but he knew he couldn’t sleep just yet—not without cleaning you up first. as he moved carefully to not wake you, something caught his eye. a small tear on the rubber material.

a quiet frustrated sigh leaves his lips. of course. what did he expect when your arousal stains the length of his cock. his cock hits deeper and deeper with each stroke and your cunt grips on his cock so tightly like it wants to keep him inside forever. the way your arms are shaking like jelly and how your words are muffled against the pillow only spur him on more. he can’t get enough of you and your sweet little cunt. 

his heart sank a little. a quiet sigh slipped out, more tired than frustrated. he should’ve noticed earlier.

he says nothing, simply tending to you first with slow and gentle hands, wiping you clean as you sleep soundly. he pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder then to your lips. he makes a silent promise as he watches you sleep. tomorrow, he’ll be up before you. first thing in the morning, he’ll be out the door, making sure he gets the pill before you even have to worry or wake up. it’s his responsibility and he’s not going to let you face it alone.

Zayne:

tags: mentioning of p in v

zayne sighs, his eyes closed shut for a moment in annoyance when he catches the tear in the rubber material as he pulls out. perhaps he did go a little overboard tonight.

it’s been too long—days turning into nights, and both of you pulled in opposite directions because of conflicting schedules. so when you finally came back to each other’s arms, it was desperate and intense.

he kisses you hungirly, open-mouthed. you gasp, taking in his tongue as it dances with yours. your eyes roll in the back of your head as he thrusts into you deeply and impatiently. the bed starts to creak at his strokes, desperate to feel more of you.

luckily, zayne had prepared for moments like this. he quickly disposes of the used rubber before heading to the bathroom to grab the birth control pill he keeps on hand- just in case times like this happens. after pouring a glass of water he returns to the bedroom, kneeling beside the bed.

“my love,” he whispers, cradling your cheek, “can you wake up for just a moment?”

you stir, your lashes fluttering open to meet his gaze-warm and apologetic. “i may have..gone a little overboard tonight,” he murmurs awardly, holding out the pill and glass of water. “i’m sorry. are you alright?”

you take the hint and give a sleepy nod, taking the pill before downing the water. he stays close, wiping you down. “i didn’t expect to miss you this much,” he murmurs, quietly.

Rafayel:

tags: mentioning of p in v

he holds the broken rubber in the palm of his hands, a look of horror on his face. what did he do? the question haunts him in his head. a mix of ‘she’s going to kill me’ and ‘it’s my fault’ follow his mind as well.

his mind was so foggy as you slowly sank further down on his cock. you were so warm, so soft. your weeping cunt wrapped around him so heavenly that he thinks he might just see his lemurian ancestors early.

rafayel continues to babble incoherent words as your walls clench around his pretty cock, the tip of his cock rubbing deliciously at your sweet spot. you both know that you were so close once he saw your hips falter in keeping pace. his pretty hands grab your ass, helping you move up and down his length as both your breathless babbling echo off the walls.

“cutie..” he whispers, gently patting you, trying to coax you awake. “cutie—i..uhm..”his voice falters as you blink at him sleepily. he glances down at the torn rubber in his hand, then back at you with wide, apologetic eyes. 

“i’m so sorry. what can i do?” the words tumble out of his lips quickly. “i can run to the pharmacy, okay? just tell me what you need. you can stay here—i’ll be quick. i promise imsososososorry.” despite how fast he speaks, you understand him. the guilt is written all over his face.

when he returns, he brings you a glass of water and carefully hands you the pill. there’s still guilt etched on his face but you reach for him, gently reassuring him that you’re okay. he nods even though he’s not sure he deserves the comfort. that night, when you curl into his chest, he holds you just a little tighter.

Sylus:

tags: mentioning of p in v

ah. sylus won’t lie—he definitely saw this coming. a part of him always knew it might happen eventually. even a high end, top-rated brand can only handle so much. he knew his size can push the limits. 

but the way you pleaded breathlessly, begging him to go harder, deeper—how could he possibly deny you?

you were gasping for air from how his ruthless cock pistoned in and out of your pussy. waves of pleasure flow over your entire body as you find yourself stretched in a way you didn’t think was possible. your fingers or any toy could possibly match up to his.

the tip of his cock repeatedly prods at your sweet spot while you wrap your legs around his waist. you feel so impossibly full from his entire length that your nails rake down his forearms that will for sure leave marks the morning after.

still, he wished he had caught it sooner—while you were still awake. he checked the time on his phone. it’s late. the shops are well closed by now but luckily sleep doesn’t come easily to him during the night. carefully, he shifts to clean you up— his hands gently wiping you clean.

once you were settled, his arms find their way back around you, pulling you in until your head rest over his heart. he stays like this for a while, watching the slow, steady rise and fall of your chest as you sleep. he doesn’t move, not yet. he waits, counting down the minutes until the pharmacy opens. when the time comes, he plans to ease himself out from under your sleeping form, careful not to wake you. by the time your eyes flutter open, he’ll already be back as if he never left at all.

Caleb:

tags: mentioning of p in v

caleb sighs as his eyes fall on the tear in the rubber, a quiet curse falls under his breath. he glances back at you, fast asleep—so beautiful. a small smile tugs at his lips, but it fades quickly.

he knows this is on him. he’d let himself get carried away tonight—too caught up in the way you were squeezing him so well that made him forget everything else but wanting more of you.

the sound of both your breathless babbling bounces off the walls. his fingertips dig into your thighs as he ruts into your tight cunt in desperation. both of you barely catch any of your words, both your minds turning into static every time his cock hits against your sweet spot. a guttural groan escapes him when your velvety walls flutter and- no.

he shakes his head, he can’t get hard again. he has to get the morning after pill quickly.

he slips on his clothes quickly but before he leaves, he returns to your side. his hand gently rests on your head as he presses a soft kiss to your forehead. carefully, he tucks you in, making sure you are warm and content. then, he heads out the door, carrying a promise that he’ll be back soon before you even know it.

ʚɞ cr. for the dividers @/ cafekitsune

ʚɞ thank you to my lovely beta reader @ilovemitsuya MWAH (˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶)

ʚɞ 𝘕𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯:

ʚɞ my other works if you want to check it out! The Love And DeepSpace Masterlist, Pg. 2

ʚɞ Others:

Wattpad

Twitter ( but like i barely know how to use it )

[propertyofwicked]

HOT WINGS - LN

lando and his girlfriend take on the quadrant hot wings challenge

based on this request ✧ my inbox is open! ✧

warnings - literally none, quite short, some swearing. this is mainly just chaos if im completely honest

masterlist the playlist

“ok guys we’re starting off easy - this is siracha, i believe,” max said, looking to lando and y/n who sat opposite him.

“easy? i get lemon and herb at nandos,” lando whined, but still taking a bite from the wing.

“lan it’s just siracha? that’s basically mayo?” y/n told him, staring in disbelief as she saw him wince at the spice.

“easy for you to say - you smother your food in it like there’s no tomorrow.”

“max just ask the question,” she prompted, ignoring her boyfriends complaints.

“ok bossy - erm, what was your first experience of motorsport?”

the two of them answered the questions as best as they could, max trying not to laugh harder with each spice increase. even y/n was struggling, but not as much as lando who was now turning red and standing up to walk off the pain.

“this is “da bomb” - 300,000 on the scoville scal- lando are you good?” max started, interrupting himself at the sight of lando ripping the lid off the ice cream tub.

“just ask the fucking question max,” lando shouted, whilst rubbing ice cream around his lips, “please.”

“you’ve gotta eat the chicken first you muppet,” y/n chimed in, holding out a wing with the tiniest amount of sauce on it.

“hold my hand,” he asked her, taking the wing from her before grabbing her hand and interlocking their fingers. his grip was tight, and it didn’t help that he remained stood up, so her arm was suspended in the air as they both took a bite of the chicken.

“hold my hand??” max said through his laughter, “you’re eating chicken not giving birth?”

“the pain is worse,” lando told him, quickly dodging the wing that y/n launched in the direction of his head.

“y/n - can you explain this photo for everyone please?” max asked, holding up his phone to show an image of her, fast asleep on his bathroom floor, shoes still on and her head using a box of fries and donner kebab as a pillow.

“max fewtrell you PROMISED you’d never bring that picture up,” she shouted, covering her mouth as the spice travelled.

“answer the question.”

“i was drunk and tir- and oh my god is this sauce even legal?” she asked him quickly, sticking her tongue out to attempt to weaken the intensity.

“you know there’s still more, right?” he laughed at her, watching the way her arms reached out to lando. though she didn’t want him, she wanted the ice cream he was clutching to his chest, but he wouldn’t give it up.

“lando pass me the fucking ice cream or ill tell everyone that you cry when you cum”

“oh god please cut that out,” lando laughed, though giving up the ice cream quickly.

“no denying it though mate?” max laughed out, smacking his hand on the table.

“my mouth is in too much pain. should i be sweating? why am i sweating?” he continued, grabbing the bottle of milk in front of him.

“lando - can you explain what happened in this picture here?” max asked, holding up his phone once more.

milk shot from lando’s mouth, spraying across the table and onto y/n as he saw the picture, laughter taking over.

“i’m just not cut out for cycling,” he said with a shrug, before downing another mouthful of milk.

“why was his picture so much nicer than mine?” y/n asked with a whine before shovelling more ice cream into her mouth.

“you always look good y/n,” lando tried to reassure her with a smile.

“shut the fuck up,” she replied, flinging a spoon of ice cream at him, melted slightly as it landed slap bang on his nose.

“i know you’re lashing out because of the spice but honestly that is quite refreshing,” he laughed at her, using the back of his hand to wipe the food away.

“ok - hell fire hot sauce, this one is 2 million on the scoville scale.”

“2 MILLION?” lando shouted at his friend, y/n mouth just opened in disbelief.

“it’s ok baby we’re almost done,” she told him, rubbing his shoulder softly.

“i can’t wait to feel my mouth again,” he replied, ignoring her affection slightly before turning to face her as he wiped the sweat off her forehead, “if you look like that i don’t want to imagine what i look like.”

“rude.”

the two of them took their final bites, trying to remain sitting still as the spice took over but with little success. y/n took to crouching down on the floor, clutching at lando’s arm as he laughed at her.

“y/n, final question - who is the best looking f1 driver?” max asked, looking between his friends with a grin.

“ever or current?”

“ever,” max told her as lando whipped his head round to stare at her intently, but she didn’t notice as she had turned her head to stare into the camera directly.

“jenson button i am asking for one chance,” y/n said bluntly, bringing her hands into a prayer.

“jens- Y/N?? are you kidding me right now?”

“he’s a good looking man what can i say,” she replied with a shrug, smiling wickedly at her boyfriend, “at least he doesn’t have ice cream running down his face right now.”

“what about current drivers?” lando asked her, attempting to remain composed despite the fire burning through his mouth. she turned her head to the camera again, slowly.

“fernando alonso i am asking for one chanc-”

“FERNANDO?” lando shouted, milk spilling down his top once more, “when my mouth doesn’t feel like literal hell we are so breaking up.”

“but if someone asked you who the best looking member of quadrant was you wouldn’t say me,” she retorted before taking a spoonful of ice cream.

“well no id have to say max.”

“exactly.”

“y/n don’t be silly - look at him!” lando shouted back, hand extending to point at the man who was now wheezing in laughter, clutching at his sides.

[janovavalen]

my valentine without the word ㆍ୨୧ㆍ wally clark x fem!reader

summary: being boyfriend and girlfriend spirits were easy; they were able to touch, able to feel each other, see each other and everything! but, what wally didn’t think of was the fact every valentine’s day, he can’t ask her to be his valentine since that’s the day she died.

warnings; mentions of y/n death, bubbly! reader, clueless! reader, sweet! reader, wally being a yearner, extreme fluff and soft ending, awkwardness a bit, make-out but no smut

a/n: HEY YALL..but anyways i wanted to write a little wally fic for valentine’s day bc I YEARN FOR HIM ITS SO BAD STOP STOP MAKE IT STOP

sitting on the top bleachers with their hands holding one another, wally pressed his lips against y/n’s sweet and tender ones, she smiled into the kiss and hummed when he let his hand wander and pulled her waist closer to his body.

this was their morning routine, afternoon routine, evening and night. every day they’ll find some alone time and cuddle up with each other, losing time and energy in each other and finding comfort in one another.

today was different, it felt different, the atmosphere was totally off and wally didn’t know what it was, every couple was kissing somewhere, there were pink balloons, heart shaped and all.

he knew exactly what today was, but couldn’t do anything about it.

pulling apart as she kissed his cheek, y/n heard her name be called by sarah, another ghost who’d died from choking on her cucumber at lunch ten years ago, she was nice and sweet, wally didn’t know her personally, but y/n talked about her a lot and he’s bound to listen to every and anything she says.

‘oh, i guess i gotta go, i promised sarah i’d talk to her today, i’ll see you later?’ y/n hummed and tilted her head to the side as wally smiled deeply and pushed his lips against hers one last time, for now

‘okay but promise we’ll meet up in the teachers lounge, i heard words that there’s some cute decor there. I know you’ll love to see’ he smiled as she squealed.

y/n loved anything sweet, soft, kind and gentle. she was bound to date a jock, if they were still alive, he wouldn’t put it past himself that he wouldn’t go for her.

‘okay! i’ll hold you too that’ she smiled and pulled away from his grasp, walking down the bleachers and running to sarah.

sighing he leaned back—‘did you ask her yet?’ yelling and turning to see charley he groaned and rolled his eyes.

‘no..why would i? that’d be a different level of fucked up..i don’t want her to think about it’ wally sighed and looked at the door that y/n had left out of.

‘think about what? valentine’s day? it’s the most cute day for couples, expressing love, kissing each other, holding each other, whispering sweet nothings—‘

‘remembering the day you died on…’ wally looked at charley who left his mouth agap, frowning his eyebrows and gasping.

‘wait, she died on valentine’s day? the sweetest girl, bubbly, nice, beautiful, kind, loving, and supportive girl died on valentine’s day? how even…’ he was confused, y/n shared how she died in an embarrassing and traumatic way never when she died especially on this day.

‘yeah..she never told you?’ wally turned and was shocked, he’d assumed she told everyone by now, it’s been years, but he wouldn’t if he were her.

‘no..no? what happened? if you can tell me’ he wanted to know, charley needed to know, if it was so embarrassing it would probably cure him from being a gay who died of a nut allergy.

‘well..i mean..if i tell you, you didn’t hear this from me! i don’t want to tell you but she said she’d tell you guys more about it tomorrow so ill tell you’

‘okay! okay! just yeah..tell me everything’ he got comfortable next to wally and waiting for him to start it.

.˳⁺⁎˚ ꒰ఎ ★ ໒꒱ ˚⁎⁺˳ .

walking down the school hallway with her hair in a half up half down and a bow on the hair tie, y/n hummed and smiled to herself while she thought about her secret love letter she got in her locker.

she was a huge romantic and seeing that made her whole day, her whole valentine’s day.

the letter had said—

to the most beautiful girl in school, i want to confess my love to you but im afraid. afraid of what you’ll think of me and afraid of what you might say. meet me behind the school after school so i can confess my deep love and affection for you, y/n l/n, my sweetest memory.

from your secret admire.

she was star struck, she heard rumors of people having a crush on her but she never listened to the because they never said anything to her directly, she loved love and wanted to feel it more than anything, but hearing rumors and fake news made her dislike love from school more than anything.

it was the last period and she’d been drawing hearts on her paper, red and pink. smiling to herself while holding the letter in her pink knitted pocket.

wondering to herself who could it be? what does he look like, or what does she look like? are they tall or short? silly or serious? dangerous or nothing like it?

she was in a daze.

at the end of the day, waiting in her deep red car, she sat and waited, everyone leaving the premise, the sun setting and the moon coming to show its softness, she was nervous.

getting out of her car and walking to the back of the school, she looked down to see red rose petals on the ground and smiled wide, her face warming up and her eyes shining.

following the rose petals she looked up and smiled at the huge letters of ‘would you be my valentine’. gasping and giggling to herself whilst looking at the table of heart shaped chocolates and flowers she touching them softly.

‘y/n?’ turning around she jumped and suppressed a gasp. what was he doing here? was this allowed?

‘mr. smith..i’m sorry i—‘

‘no no..don’t apologize..besides i’m the one who asked you to be here’

what.

‘i’m sorry?’ she knew exactly what he meant.

‘it’s just..i know that this isn’t normal but i know that this is real, what i feel for you? it’s all real, and i know you love me too, you show it all the time! smiling, laughing at me, staying after class—‘

‘mr.smith..i’m..no? i’m sorry i don’t understand..i stay after class for help on my work i don’t—‘

‘no no no don’t play with me i know what you feel i know it’s real, i know that you love me, i love you just as much, even more if anything!’ He stepped closer as she stepped back, hitting the table of flowers and chocolates.

how long did this take him to plan, did he really feel this way for her, she’s sixteen for heaven sake and he’s forty nine, he has a wife and she’s pregnant, where did she go wrong.

‘mr.smith please..i need to get home—‘

‘no!’

jumping she gasped and held a hand over her mouth as he tried to calm himself, breathing in and out with his eyes closed he shook his head—‘no..you haven’t even touched your chocolates yet..please..just..please’ sighing she walked sirius the table to that it was between him and her.

‘i’d i eat this..will you let me go home..please’ she begged. he looked like he was thinking to himself, weighing out the options and signing.

‘of course!’ she sighed and gulped, picking up a milk chocolate heart and slowly pushing it into her mouth she chewed, and swallowed.

‘there..now—‘ gulping while she felt something in her body move, almost as if something just shut down, she closed her eyes and hummed.

‘sh sh sh..’ walking to y/n who kept opening and closing her eyes she frowns and groaned, her whole body felt so heavy, out of place and like water.

what..she’d be drugged of course.

a popular teacher amongst the town who fell in love with his sixteen year old student just confessed his love. of course he knew the odds of her returning them, that’s why he did this.

‘mr…’ she hummed and almost fell but he caught her body, his hand on her cheek to hold her head up as her light pink kitten healed foot bent, losing her balance. the only thing keeping her afloat was his grip around her waist and his hand on her neck and face.

‘it’s okay my sweet, it’s alright, sh sh sh’ he brought her body down on to the stage floor. his knees present against the wood as she was passed out cold, her mind shut down completely and he shoved more chocolate down her throat.

.˳⁺⁎˚ ꒰ఎ ★ ໒꒱ ˚⁎⁺˳ .

‘the last thing she remembers is waking up in the stage floor and the whole room was empty, her body was sore and she said it felt like she was walking on nothing. later that week she’d even ignored by everyone and anyone, her parents had come to look for her even when she yelled in their face that she was right there.’ wally clutched his fist in anger and sorrow for her.

charley sat there in pure silence and shock, the overwhelming feeling of pity filled his every being. horror and sadness were very apparent in the both of them.

‘then the next week after that, she’d started hearing rumors about her death, that she was strangled, and shoved in the back of the costume room. the autopsy report being overdose, the last thing she ate being chocolate..every time she sees one she gets physically sick..’ wally shook his head as he remembers the time she ran out of the room when a student dropped a box of chocolate in front of her and she wasn’t seen for the rest of the day until he visited her.

‘he was caught, a month later, in a room filled with her pictures and a lock of her hair in his grip, supposedly he still keeps it to this day in jail’ wally finished off as he looked at charley who’s been shut down.

his mouth hung open and his eyes watching wally.

‘but..does she know he’s still alive?’

‘yeah, of course she does, she listens to the teacher lounge every day for any news about him dying, she reads the newspapers and watches the news when it’s on’ wally stood up and walked down the bleachers with charley following.

‘so wait, i understand how fucked up and traumatic that is but why won’t you just ask her to be your valentine you know? without the fancy decorations, without any sweets or anything, what about like..pizza? or a hot dog?’ he suggested.

‘nah..i don’t want her to hear the word from me at least and get any form of flash back, i couldn’t fathom it if i cause her pain in any way even if its involuntary..I just wanted her to have a sweet day without anything happening.’ wally walked as charley followed.

there weren’t many places to go but at the moment the cafe was the hot spot, y/n had been off somewhere, post likely the acting class with sarah still.

‘well i don’t think if you say “will you be my valentine” without saying it, she’ll have any kind of flashback’ he suggested.

wally turned and was interested.

‘how do i say it without saying it?’

.˳⁺⁎˚ ꒰ఎ ★ ໒꒱ ˚⁎⁺˳ .

walking down to the teachers lounge as wally fixed his hair, he straightened his back and cracked his neck.

charley’s words ringing and replaying in his head as he saw her.

standing with her small heeled shoes; pink knitted sweater and white dress, her hair tied back and with a bow, she turned and smiled.

‘wally!’ walking fastly to him and wrapping her arms around his neck he smiled and held his hand on her small back, holding it and kissing her deeply.

she smelt so nice every time he was around her. her whole being was enough to be a drug for him if anything.

‘aw did you miss me today?’ he teased as she nodded with a smile.

‘i was thinking about you all day! i wanted to ditch sarah and come to you so bad but i didn’t want to be a bad friend’ she laughed as he did as well, his arms holding her against himself.

‘i was thinking about nothing but you, i wanted to do something for you..something small, y’know. for our day’ he smiled, trying to avoid the words, the day, today, and valentine’s day.

‘awh, our day? what do you have planned’ she wondered; tilted her head to the side while her earring hoops moved as well.

‘come on!’ He tugged her hand and lead he outside.

walking to the garden that the school had, he opened the door and they sat down on the silver bench, it was a bit chilly but the breeze settled it evenly.

‘you wanted to come outside?’

‘yeah, i mean, it’s a nice day, the flowers have bloomed, look’ she turned from his eyes and looked at the pink flowers on the ground. gasping she smiled at them.

‘oh, this is sweet’ she smiled and turned to wally who looked like he was suffocating.

‘baby you okay—‘

‘but y’know, we can also go to the lounge, any classroom, the rooftop! it doesn’t matter, or our favorite secret spot?’ he grinned and pressed his nose against hers and smiled while he kissed her softly.

she smiled into it but frowned and pulled away.

‘wait, so your not going to ask me?’ she pulled away while looking at his lips, her pointer finger touching his chin while her eyes then moved up to his own.

‘..ask you what?’ he asked dumbly

‘wally..you know what’ she scolded, her eyebrows frowning—‘wally come on..’

‘i can’t! you know i can’t and i won’t!’ he shook his head while she placed a hand on his cheek.

‘wally..’

‘no y/n i’m serious. if i bring up anything, any pain, any memory; any regrets and trauma i will lose myself and i can’t do that to you because i can’t hurt you. i can’t..’

‘wally…your not hurting me by asking me to be your valentine..you never ask me! this is the sixth year you didn’t ask me! i let the other five pass because i wanted you to say it without me saying anything but please..it’s cute! it’s a beautiful day it’s..it’s not why i died..’ she whispers the last part; his eyebrows pulling together.

a small frown on her lips as she let her fingers play with his ear, a weird calming touch for him and a note for her to let her know he was there.

‘i didn’t die because of valentine’s day i just so happened to be killed by some weirdo who thought i liked him..im over thinking about it..i want you to be my valentine if you’ll have me?’ she smiled at the final part and he smiled back, laughing and nodding as she hummed.

‘yeah?’ she encourages as he nodded more—‘yes..yes, will you be my valentine?’ he smiled as his lips brushed hers and she nodded with a smile.

‘of course wally clark’ pushing herself into his lips as he closed his eyes, he hummed and held the back of her neck, their kiss deepening and her hands touching his chest and neck.

pulling apart to breath into each others mouth before pushing back into it, wally leaned back onto the bench and let y/n on top of him, her hand on his chest and his holding her waist.

she smiled as he groaned a bit. moving her face and nibbling his neck.

gripping her waist and resisting the urge to push his hips up against hers. she smiled and whispered—‘i’m not afraid of chocolates anymore, you can get me some of those too’ he smiled as she hovered over his face and leaned down to kiss her sweet.

holding the neck of his valentine .

[cheolieji]

Seungcheol

warning: Smut,unprotected sex, breeding kink and idk what else im too lazy

A/N: This is in no way to say mingyu acts like this. it's just part of the fiction

not proofread

I'm lowkey bad at writing smut🫢

feel free to send requests!

check [17] (pink highlighted) to see my yes and no's

seungcheol is the type of guy to walk on the street side of the sidewalk

seungcheol is the protective boyfriend everyone wishes for

the perfect and clingy boyfriend

you wanna wear a short dress? go ahead, he can fight

a guy just looks at you the wrong way, his fist is tightened, his jaw is clenched, and his death glare... goddd if looks could kill

you love it when he's protective over you

but something happened that made you think, is he a little too protective?

now you're sitting in his living room beside him, hands rubbing against each other, nervous to say it

seungcheol, of course, notices this. "You okay hun?" "Yeah! why wouldn't i be?" weird... but he just nodded his head, turning his attention back to the show playing. the sound of tv playing in the background mixing with your thoughts, should you really ask him about something so little that could turn into a heated argument?

"Hey-" "babe-" "Yeah? you say it first"

"no its just uhm. i" his eyebrows raised in confusion. What are you trying to tell him?

"Okay. will you promise not to get mad?" "Of course baby, why would i get mad at you?

"You know how we went to the kims gathering?" he just nods "yeah and how mingyu kept looking at me and stuff?" "Where are we going with this" his eyebrows still raised

"Nothing like that. It's just the way you were glaring at him. felt a little.... i don't know.. rudee? I'm sure he didn't mean it like that. " "Ah, that? i know him, babe he doesn't have good intentions. when he looks at someone like that, it means he wants something out of them." he pauses for a second, "and plus, you're mine..."

you blushed in your seat

"okay good i guess... i thought you were being a little too protective"

"Hey. It's good to be protective over what's mine!" he giggles while hugging you and placing you on his lap. and you're straddling him now. Suddenly, the air shifts

noticing this, seungcheol pulls you in closer before pressing a kiss on your lips. It starts to turn into a makeout session with you grinding on him while heavy breathing leave your mouths

"Can i?" As he's looking down at your pants, you nodded. he takes your pants along with his off. "No panties? want me to fuck you that bad? huh?" You nod again, eyebrows furrowed. "Say it, baby, i wanna hear you" "yes please cheol just fuck me, please"

he teases your opening with his dick before slowly entering your already wet cunt. shit did he get bigger?

"You feel so good, baby, just for me." Now he's fully inside you. He waited a bit for you to get used to his size

he's balls deep inside you, and you're a moaning mess, but he's looking at you like you're the prettiest thing in the world

he's hitting all the right spot "ah- cheol please" your gummy walls wrapped around his thick cock feels like heaven, for the both of you

he's leaving hickeys all over your neck as you're riding him like there's no tomorrow

bouncing on his dick as you're moaning his name loudly. it's like music to his ears

you feel the familiar pit in your stomach "fuck cheol im gonna cum" he lets out a loud grunt before cumming inside you "fuck ill fill you with my babies"

" gonna make you forget about that fucker" he continues thrusting inside you until you reached your high before softly kissing you

you let out a loud moan before falling on his shoulder. "You know, if you wanna put babies inside me, we should probably do more." "you wanna move it to the bedroom?" he carries you to the bedroom for a night of pleasure

[dduane]

Dear DD, I'm wondering if you could show examples (from your own work or otherwise) of what really, *really* rough drafts of fiction writing look like. I'm talking the earliest stages of the process that normally most people don't show to the public; whenever I look around online, what folks seem to post as "WIP" samples are usually more like 80-90% polished excerpts.

While my brain logically knows these are the late-stage stuff, it has an ill-advised habit of trying to draft to that 80-90 level of quality from the get-go--I think it might help to see what the equivalent of "thumbnails" or "sketches/doodles" look like in writing, especially from someone who's been At The Work for a long time. Hopefully it's an alright request! I understand if for various reasons you can't.

I'm more than willing to show people my stuff in process, every now and then. ...But in my case, your initial query poses an unusual challenge. And it's this:

After pushing fifty years of doing this work (or indeed, you had it right, this Work) for money, everything comes out looking fairly polished.

And this can't be helped. Once you've been doing this work for long enough—once doing it well starts being the thing responsible for keeping you and your family fed—you will inevitably (eventually) evolve the ability to exude smooth-looking prose at minutes' notice. Over the years your internal prose filters will get trained into being increasingly fine-meshed... and the longer this goes on, the more flatly they'll refuse to let clunky stuff out onto the page any more. You don't really even think about it. You just keep refining a given phrase/sentence/paragraph in your head until it feels acceptable.

After a couple/few decades, this ability becomes an ever more finely-honed survival characteristic. You can no sooner emit actively coarse prose (without trying purposefully to do so, which is another story...) than you can stop breathing for minutes at a time without suffering the consequences. (shrug) It's just the way your life experience has taught your Drafting Brain to conduct itself, going forward.

Now... this doesn't mean at all that the drafted material, be it ever so polished-looking, is necessarily what you intended (or needed!) to write. Oh no. I could this very day show you some prose that by my standards is still really rough, because I wrote it five minutes ago... and you'd look at it and be very unlikely to be able to see what my problem was with it.* Whereas I'm sitting staring at it and muttering "Dammit, something's missing here. No idea what. I'll come back to it tomorrow."

And indeed I wrote something about three hours ago that (as I got it onto the page in its earliest form) left me literally gasping about how obtuse I'd been about the situation and emotions described in it, as recently as early this afternoon before I had lunch. It was a scene that had been missing from something I'm completing at the moment—indeed not merely missing but completely uncontemplated—and as it spooled itself out on the page all I could do was shake my head at my own idiocy at having missed the opportunity earlier, while I was nailing down the plot.

And I would love to show you that piece of prose right this minute, so that you could see what minutes-old prose from me looks like. Except it's seriously spoilery, and I refuse to sabotage a larger work by allowing out any material that's so loaded... and which viewed out of context would deprive it of most of its power. So, as we say around here, 'Sorry not sorry.'" Though I promise I'll come back to this and talk about it "in the clear" later, when that work's published.

...Anyway. The best advice I have for you just now is that trying to make your filters-in-training less effective is—to put it as gently as Captain Amelia might—a mistake.

That urge to have the first draft—or the "zero draft" as some are calling it these days: I use this myself—be as good as possible is frankly a lifesaver. Indulging it, sentence by sentence and paragraph by paragraph, will only leave you with less frustration, less editing and re-editing, and way less Flat Forehead Syndrome over time. You are going in the right direction, even if it makes you feel like you're losing valuable time.

Your brain's attempts to draft to the highest possible level are not ill-advised. Indulge the urge to get your drafting more right, even if it makes you suffer a bit. No one ever said this writing lark was going to be all fun. (And if they did, they lied to you.) Also: hunting through other people's WIP excerpts, be they rougher than yours or more polished, in a search for something that your excerpts or drafting style should or could theoretically look like, will do you no good in the long term... and may do you harm. All you're likely to be left with, after you haven't found anything useful in the wake of the shoulder-peering, is a sense—almost certainly an inaccurate one—that you're somehow doing it wrong.**

You're not. You're finding your own way, at your own speed. This is the Writer's Journey. (As opposed to the Hero's, which I have characters shouting at me about at the moment.) (eyeroll) As you continue going your own way, your drafting will gradually pick up speed without losing quality. ...And don't neglect your outside reading. You need to be reading outside your own genre and your own century to pick up, as it were, new (or old) plugins for your filters.

Anyway. If (as it seems) you're in this for the long term: get right down here with the rest of us and suffer your way (briefly) through it. We all agonize unnecessarily over the effectiveness of our process from time to time. The only cure is to say "fuck that noise" to the back of your Writer's Mind, and get back to the actual writing, where these problems are worked out in the only way that counts.

So: go do your thing, and let the chips fall where they may. And I hope this has helped! Let me know, over time, how things go.

*This situation is also, BTW, a bit of a problem for a writer in a career stage like mine. In an inversion of the usual rule—where "the Perfect becomes the enemy of the (Merely) Good"—the "Really Not Bad At All" becomes the enemy of the "Could Have Been Way Better If You'd Given It A 'Should I Maybe Sweat Over This A Little More?' Pass". Because the Not Bad At All genuinely isn't... but if you're not careful, you stop seeing where to kick it into the next stage when you're distracted by all the other junk going on in life.

**...But this is one of the downsides of the community, and communality, of the writing life online. We wind up endlessly looking over each others' shoulders to try to find answers that—in many cases—were already sitting between us and the screen, on the keyboard.

(And now a suggestion for those who find these occasional excursions into the Advice Barrel useful: at various folks' request, I have a Ko-Fi now. If you find the advice useful and you feel so inclined, send me a sign.) :)

[starboye]

starring: simon riley x male reader

summary: helping simon with his problem over the phone

warnings: smut, phone sex, cursing

it was pretty hard for simon to ever get any action while on a mission, having to result to jerking off to your pictures in the bathroom and that still isn't enough for the man, he wanted to feel the warmth of your hole or at least something close to it, and one night during your daily phone calls he brought it up.

"so how's the mission going" you ask twiddling with the strings of your sweatpants as you lay in bed " it's goin' alright" simon says in a slightly agitated tone "what do you guys have to do" you ask shrugging off the tone "now you know i cant tell you that baby that's classified" simon chuckles.

"whats wrong" you ask "what do you mean why would anything be wrong" simon questions with a nervous laugh "simon we've been dating for 5 years now i'm pretty sure i could tell when somethings wrong with my boyfriend" you say "fine" he huffs "i'm pent up like hell right now and i cant get off without the feeling of you around me" simon admits.

"oh well i'm sorry, wish i could help you" you coo "oh yeah and how would you help me baby" simon asks with a smirk as his hand moves down to palm his clothed crotch "well id take those annoyingly heavy pants off first" you chuckle "then id take your cock into my hand and stroke it slowly for you, then start licking it, mt tongue going into the slit and then id sink my mouth onto it and make sure to get it all the way down my throat just how you like it" you grin.

simon's dick now in his hand, pumping it slowly to your vulgar words, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood but he must keep his low moans quiet "mhm t-then what baby" simon whimpers just low enough for you to hear "id swirl my tongue all around your dick, oh and id look up at you with those big teary eyes you go weak over as your big dick just slams into the back of my throat making me moan your name" you lowly say.

"fuck, please more" simon pleas starting to fuck into his fist as his climax quickly approaches "then you push my head all the way down onto your dick and you hear those gags of you choking me with your dick as you pump your thick cum down my throat with those husky grunts" you say and that's what tips simon over the edge to cum.

spurting his load all over his hand "i need you so bad baby" simon whimpers "if i was there with you i wouldn't let you go m'kay" you sweetly say "promise when i get back home we can do all that stuff you said" simon asks "oh i promise ill do more than just that simon" you smile "i'll be waiting" simon grins "well time for bed i wouldn't want you to be lazy tomorrow" you laugh "me, lazy, never" simon says before hanging up the phone.

taglist:@mailmango@spermeboy@ghostking4m@gayaristocrat@addictedtomalepits @staarb0y @crispysoup318 @its-ares @gargoylesworld09

©starboye productions

[itrainswhenurhere]

party 4 you frat!rafe x sorority!reader

18+ mature (emetophobia warning aswell queens)

mlist

a/n: part 2 here this is my first time writing for rafe x reader so lmk how i’m doing! no one likes when i write ship fics and they get like 20 notes so yeah ill just kms then idm😊😊 also i know nothing about frats or sororities alsooo… series???

the party was loud. you could practically hear the inevitable ringing echoing through your ears all of tomorrow and maybe the day after.

the speaker in the living room blasted all around the house like an inescapable torture. the smell of sweat and sex radiated every surface of delta chi.

god you wanted to go home.

you navigate through the crowd, shoving the occasional frat boy and shouting a “watch it.” at anyone who backed up into you.

the red, blue and green lights bounced off the walls and bodies clung and and jumped to eachother like it was the only thing keeping them alive.

this was bullshit. everyone here was ugly or annoying or a creep or all of the above. sarah, your sorority sister had promised you that there would be someone that lived up to your standards here. yeah right. the incels in here will do just fine sarah.

to be fair to them, no one throws a party like delta chi do, or, their president does. it’s by far the most lively of all the weekends you waste away at these events.

“babeeee,” you hear someone squeal from behind you once you finally make your way to the kitchen.

“do you uhh, know where the 4 lokos are at? sarah took the punch away from me.”

you turn to look and of course it’s hanna. she had probably hooked up with about 3 people tonight and vomited atleast twice, based on her breath.

“i think,” you start, shouting over the music, placing two grounding hands on her shoulders. “maybe we should get you home girl.”

the words come out slightly slurred and not entirely believable, but you try and act as sober as possible so sarah doesn’t appear out of nowhere and take your own red solo cup.

“also we’re not in middle school han, no one drinks 4 lokos anymore.” you laugh shout in the girls ear.

hanna laughs back at you as obnoxiously as possible, now leaning into your straightened arms for support.

“i’m going…. up- upstairs.” she hiccups out as her laugh turns to a pained expression, which safe to say, are from the copious amounts of alcohol she had consumed tonight.

“yesss!!!” you scream excitedly at her. “i can’t hear my own fucking thinking.”

“same, jesus im fucking dying.” she groans dramatically.

you grab a cheap beer from the kitchen, and with hanna stumbling behind you, you make your way upstairs fairly easily, apart from the sticky pit of people crammed into the main room.

the sounds from downstairs are definitely fainter, although chaos ensues one floor or another. there are people in the hallways making out slowly and the distracting thumping of a headboard ringing from some room or another.

jesus this house is huge. you think to yourself. you decide there must be somewhere here to relax for a little bit and wallow in the fact that no one here radiates sex worthy energy instead of ‘in need of anti-persperant deodorant.’

after many, many, walks in on people doing indescribable things to eachother, you find an empty room.

you throw yourself onto the bed and rub the heels of your hands over your eyes, caught up in the shapes and colour patterns under your eyelids when you rub hard enough.

“i’m gonna be sick, again.” hanna groans as loud as she did over the ear bleeding bass music, sounding- somehow, even more dramatic now.

you sit up on the edge of the bed and determine wether or not she just wants something to complain about.

sure enough, hanna’s face, streaked with running mascara- is sickly pale. she gags on air and you can see the exact moment she feels it in her throat.

“go to the- um- fucking bathroom then.” you blurt out, standing quickly, not used to hanna actually living up to her dramatics.

luckily, there’s an en-suite in whatever bedroom you and her have landed in, which she sprints to and kneels down just in time for the vomit to spew out her mouth.

you’re standing at the door, wincing like the whole ordeal is paining you yourself, unsure of what to do with your hands as the brunette now holds herself up by the seat of toilet.

she groans again,quieter but slightly more pained this time.

“bitch, if i’m not in my bed in the next ten minutes, i’m going downstairs and unplugging that fucking speaker myself.”

you resist the urge to snort out a laugh at her again, because you know for a fact within ten minutes, hanna will be begging to go back to the dance floor.

“yep.” you say, eyes darting around for something that will help her at this moment.

“y’know, it hurts like, more, everytime…” she says like it’s some kind of revelation. you’re opening up bottoms drawers and cabinets in the bathroom now, trying to find hanna some kind of relief.

you open the top cabinet and find three paracetamol that probably won’t do the job, but you figure anything is better than nothing.

the door of the bedroom you had forgotten to lock opens and you almost immediately assume it’s some wasted couple who haven’t noticed the two of you yet.

when you turn around and find sarah walking at a surprisingly stable pace towards you. you almost jump in relief.

“oh my god, you might actually be my saviour.” you clasp your hands at her and nod your head to where hanna is now sitting against the drawers below the sink.

sarah is the president of your sorority, and she never fails to save all of your asses when things like this happen.

“do not thank me right now, i just walked in on like five different naked couples.” she shakes herself off, trying to forget the images in her head as she leans down toward hanna.

“what the actual fuck,” she pauses, shaking her head in worried amusement. “could you have possibly had to drink?” she snorts lovingly at her.

“how did it get worse after i took your drink off you??”

you’re now leaning against the door, shrugging sluggishly at sarah. “you are soooo lucky i called us a ride when i first got it off you.”

“kill yourself sarah, oh my god i’m literally dying here.” hanna shakes her head at the floor, huffing, clearly okay again if she has the ability to restart crying wolf.

“topper will be here in five, let’s get you up.” she grabs the girls hand and hoists her up, holding her up by the armpits, both of them in hysterics again as they stumble over feet.

after you both walk hanna outside- arms over you and sarah’s shoulders, while you all giggle profusely at eachother, you decide to be the one who has to go in and get hanna’s discarded phone from the kitchen (hanna coughing like she’s diseased and sarah patting her back.)

you pad through the rooms- heels clicking (though not even nearly heard over all the screaming and terrible squeaky music.)

when you finally reach the kitchen, you have to pry the phone out of two drunk guys’ careless hands. you think they were planning on stealing it before you turn the phone around see the couple hundred selfies they’d taken, now uploaded to hannas icloud.

you fiddle with the phone, making sure it’s not been cracked or opened somehow, when the taller of the men reach down to grab it back from you.

“hey.” a voice booms through the all the other sound around the house.

you follow the voice and your eyes land on the tall, maybe 6,3, muscular, mousy haired source- who is staring daggers into the boy who’s hand is frozen in the air, half extended, previously ready to force the phone out of your hands.

both of the men mutter a ‘whatever’ under their breaths, clearly feigning nonchalance at the man while simultaneously speed walking out of the room, pushing into the main crowd.

“sorry about them, they’re fucking gone, seriously.” his piercing blue eyes, highlighted by the green light shining along the side of them, bore into you.

“uh, yeah,” you pause to try and work out who this man is and why you haven’t seen him before, brain still slightly sluggish from the alcohol. “i noticed.”

he too, takes a second to seemingly take you in. “hey, i’m rafe” he shouts over the music, tone strikingly different from the way he had spoken to those boys, not that you would notice, his voice commands enough respect that has a way of making everything else go still.

it takes a second for your brain to catch on to the familiarity of his name. rafe. hm. rafe? oh my god. rafe.

sarah’s old brother. the president of delta chi, who you had heard so much about, yet somehow, never seen. according to your sister, cecily, he’s never seen at his parties because he’s upstairs fucking any girl he lays his eyes on.

your eyes clearly match your surprise, and he clocks instantly that you now recognise him. he’s heard about you, obviously. every single man here has been trying their luck with you all night. and every other night that you float into their vision.

he also clearly clocks that the phone you’re retrieving isn’t yours, looking down at cracked, pink, iphone 13 already safely in your hand.

“that your friends?” he snaps you out of your daze.

“oh, yeah, you know hanna? she’s outside with sarah, toppers getting them.”

disapproval flashes over his face at the mention of toppers name. “seriously, sarah’s still going out with that, jesus.”

“hey!! they’re in love!” you slur over your words again, in a way that makes him raise his eyebrows, but he doesn’t comment.

“come on, i’ll walk you out, so you can give that to your friend.”

“oh no, that’s fine, i’m going with them anyways.” you shout as he turns you by your shoulders out pushes you gently by the small of your back out of the kitchen.

he parts the crowd as he walks by, in a way that makes you want to huff, scoff and promptly undress.

he doesn’t seem to pay any mind to your comment about you going with his sister, and your not sure if it’s because he doesn’t care, or if he has other plans.

once you free yourself from the sweating confines of the frat, you breath in the fresh air and slightly quieter night.

you spot hanna and sarah still sitting on the curb of the pavement, hugging eachother for warmth.

before you can shout that you’ve found the phone. rafe grabs your arm and is now able to audibly whisper in your ear.

“you’ll come to my room when they leave, i can help you get home afterwards?” which he phrases as a question, but it’s not.

shivers run visibly down your spine when you finally realise what he’s implying, and you shudder from what could be passed off as the cold air.

before you can ask him which room and where it is, he turns on his heel and disappears back into the crowd of moving bodies.

you stand frozen for about ten seconds before sarah turns around and waves you over.

toppers car is now parked infront of them and hanna has already moved into the backseat with help from sarah.

you walk at a fast pace over to the blonde and place the phone-as firmly as your drunk body can, in her hand.

“umm hey, so i think im gonna stay for a bit longer, like, carly just said she’d drop me off later, i met her in the hall and- you know.” you speak, quicker than normally, wondering where all this enthusiasm is coming from.

sarahs slightly tipsy mind contemplates for a second before she decides, “okay girl!! have fun, don’t get too dicked down!!!” she squeals at the end, clearly not picking up on your obvious tone.

“bye guysss.” you wave off at the car as sarah gets in and topper offers a polite nod before driving away.

the small trip upstairs is agonizing, you spend the entire time wondering what rafe had meant, i mean, he barely knew you, you thought.

still, your thoughts started shifting to between your legs as you start opening and shutting doors when the people inside the room shout profanities at you for opening it.

you imagine what he had done to those girls, for them to speak about him likes he had hung the moon and stars.

you imagine him doing whatever that may be, to you.

would he push your head down and have you on your knees?

would he worship you until you were begging him to stop?

would he go slow and deep or would he fuck you like his life depends on it?

as that thought crosses your mind, you decide to try your luck on the room you and sarah had previously scooped hanna up from.

when the door clicks open, you’re not met with scandalised eyes trying to cover themselves, or even the couples who are so drunk that they don’t even notice the clicking noise.

you’re met with rafe. he’s fixing a shirt on what you now know is his chest of drawers. his king sized bed. his en-suite. his so very frat boy decor. his everything.

“hey angel.” he greets, looking up as you shut his door and click the lock over.

“um, hi.” he moves calculatedly over to your place infront of the door and collides his face with yours.

before you even have time to question him, ask him what he’s doing, why he didn’t go for someone else at the start of the party, or even if he had gone to someone else, you’re kissing him back.

he starts slow, but the second your tongue brushes along his lower lip, he freezes for a second, malfunctioning, before gripping your chin and hold you in place to deepen the kiss.

it’s messy. really messy. probably thanks to you, your spit was already all over his chin from occasionally missing him mouth and licking at his face, although he seems to return it with the same fervour, gripping over your dress and digging his nails over your ass.

he turns you and starts moving you towards his bed, now his go to lick into everywhere he can possibly reach, as fast as possible.

he sits in the edge of the bed and pulls you down with him, gasping and catching his breath already.

your legs are on either side of his hips and he groans a cry of pleasure when your press down onto his hard cock.

“jesus fuck.” he pants along your neck when you continue to rock up and down onto him, his jeans occasionally snagging over your wanting clit.

the thought crosses your mind that sarah would probably be so happy to see you finally picking someone to get laid by, but not as happy that you’re about to fuck her brother.

before you can stop yourself, you let out a slightly rude laugh into shoulder, stopping him in his tracks.

he pulls away from your neck and looks up at you quizzically.

“uh, what was that?” he questions. “i was just giggling, chill.” you state, suppressing another laugh at picturing sarah’s face when she finds out.

“are you serious, that was not a giggle. you full on laughed.” he stares like he’s connecting pieces of a puzzle on your face, which from this angle only makes him more appealing.

after a beat. “how much have you had to drink?”

the question catches you slightly off guard, whatever was in those red cups were clearly catching up to you now.

“well, not a lot, i mean, obviously i pregamed though.” you nod at him as if to say ‘duh.’

“your friend said you weren’t drunk.”

a look of confusion passes over your face “huh, when did you talk to my friends?” you say, now very confused.

“like maybe half an hour ago, hanna, anna, maybe?” he studies you once again, still slightly wearing that smirk.

“ohhhh, yeah. that makes sense. i’m like, dry january sober compared to hanna either way.” you laugh at your own joke.

you shift slightly and his still very obvious erection presses back onto your clit. you completely forget all about sarah and attempt to grind down on him again.

he grabs your hips and holds them in place firmly, leaving no room for argument, even though it looks like it physically pains him to stop you, and he has to shut his eyes.

“look, not tonight.” he speaks, looking up at you again, pupils blown out from the previous adrenaline.

you visibly pout at him in a way that no one would catch you dead doing sober.

before you even have time to wonder why he won’t just fuck you, why he won’t just do what he seems to do with every other girl, he’s lifting you up like he’s going to move you off him before she shifts his own legs and this time, places you between one of his thighs.

“you’re not gonna fuck me?” you ask, still not fully sure of what he’s trying to do.

“no, you can do it yourself, i’ve been waiting for a while to talk to you, i’ll wait a night more.” he watches the realisation dawn on your face at what he’s asking you to do, a mix of shock and desperate, desperate arousal.

the way he speaks, hard and cold, but also excessively cocky and egotistical, has you moving all of your weight onto his singular leg.

“there you go.” he looks rough. still not cracking a full emotion, but now extremely sharp around the edges, still heavy breathing.

he’s going to watch you get off on his thigh. it turns you on so much that you almost moan before the first movement of your hips, but when you feel the way his muscles tense under you, just for your pleasure, you don’t hold back.

he’s now playing with your ass, hands under your underwear, as you rock yourself back and forth on the denim on his leg.

your mouth is strung open and your eyes are squeezed shut as you feel yourself getting close embarrassingly quick.

rafe is peppering sloppy wet kisses over your neck and down past your collarbone, moaning almost as loud as you when he sees his brand new jeans completely ruined by the slick dripping out of you and onto him with every movement.

“yeah that’s it, feels good doesn’t it?” he strains, physically holding himself back from flipping you onto your stomach and having you exactly how he wants you.

“mhm, yes.” you reply over a whimper you didn’t think you had in you. the pressure is so close to snapping inside you that all that leaves your mouth is strings of ‘yes’ and ‘please’ when he asks you if you want to cum.

he reaches down to where you’re now desperately humping his leg and slides your underwear to the side, hearing the pathetic cry that leaves your mouth in response.

“fuck, oh my god, please please-” it all snaps when he pulls you back by your ass and viciously pushes you back onto his flexing leg.

your mouth opens wider than before- if possible, nothing coming out for a few seconds before a needy, whorish whine leaves you and you’re panting into the crook of his neck, still riding your high- with his help and biting into the flesh of his shoulder.

he gives you a good minute of helping you slow down the drag across his thigh, which is now soaked to the point that he can feel you seeping through to his bare skin.

he lifts your chin up so you can properly hear what he’s about to say.

he almost stutters when he sees you, still panting, mouth wide open and pliant, hair a mess. but he doesn’t.

“come around tomorrow.” which exploits a soft ‘mhm’ from your sore throat, nodding up at him, now completely putty in his hands.

“did that feel good?” he whispers, leaning into your ear when you nod again in approval.

“imagine what i can do with my cock.”

[81folklore]

heaven - PIASTRI - part 3

pairings: oscar piastri x private!reader (fc: gracie abrams)

summary: oscars girlfriend attends her first grand prix and the public get to see just how proud she is of oscar

authors note: ive honestly missed writing for oscar and priv!reader so we are back in honor of oscars FIRST EVER WIN AND INCREDIBLE SPRINT RACE!! im genuinely so proud of oscar and im honestly in shock. i also follow ZERO wag pages so i have no clue what they are like, if people actually follow them etc.

authors note 2: short-ish and sweet for OSCARS FIRST WIN?? i started writing this about 30 minutes before the sprint race so i had no clue where this was going to go but HE WON!!

part 1 part 2 masterlist

f1wagupdates

liked by user5, user81, user9 and 7,289 others

yn entering the paddock for the first time today! she followed shortly after oscar, spoke to some oscar/mclaren fans and handed a few who were unable to meet oscar, on his way in, some signed things she had. we absolutely love her already!!

view comments

user81: omg she’s literally the sweetest thing😭

user17: I LOVE HER ALREADY

user61: the fact that oscar fans already love her🫶🫶

user9: oh she looks so cute!!

user72: i was one of the girls she gave something too! she said she had been following behind oscar and kept an eye on anyone who he missed to give them something after he left. she was very very shy, but she made sure to speak to everyone who oscar missed and was asking us questions about us, overall she was very sweet!!

user22: this makes me love her even more😭and congrats on the signed stuff!! do you mind me asking what it was?

user72: thank you! and of course, we all got something different! i got a signed polaroid of oscar (im still in disbelief?! and it must have been one she took herself bcs i couldnt find the photo online anywhere), someone a bit down from me got what looked like a drivers card and i saw someone else get a picture of his car!

user22: A POLAROID?? oh you won😭😭

user1: i wonder if we will see her again

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 9,619 others

first qualifying in the paddock was a rollercoaster of emotions, not the result we were hoping for, expected or wanted but its ok because oscars gonna smash it tomorrow and we’ll pretend today didnt happen!!

view comments

oscarpiastri: glad you had fun🤍

oscarpiastri: my goodluck charm wasnt goodlucking today

yourusername: dont say thattt☹️ill try and be extra lucky tomorrow promise!!

oscarpiastri: i love you

yourusername: i love you more🤭

user3: the photo difference😭

user14: loved seeing you in the garage today

yourfriend3: i love you but those photos😭😭

yourusername: stoooop i was so nervous all day😭

yourfriend7: wish oscar luck from all of us back home!

oscarpiastri: 👍👍

user81: u are so cute☹️

user2: so unfair how they told oscar during the interview!!

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 9,182 others

changed outfits but we are ready for the sprint!!

tagged oscarpiastri

comments on this post have been limited

oscarpiastri: love you lots and lots, thank you for coming🧡

yourusername: I LOVE YOU!! and you dont have to thank me, ill always stay with you🤍🤍

f1

liked by yourusername, mitchevans_ and 817,175 others

PIASTRI STORMS TO SPRINT POLE IN QATAR!🤩🔥

He just keeps getting better and better!

view comments

mclaren: YESSSSSS!!!👏👏👏

user6: P1ASTRI

yourusername: INCREDIBLE🤩🤩

user18: more than deserved!

user73: absolute legend

yourusername added to their story

seen by oscarpiastri and 6,289 others

user6: AHHHHHH

user81: LOOK AT HIM GO

oscarpiastri: ☺️☺️

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 10,278 others

oh how i obsessively adore you.. today you took your first f1 pole position, hours later you became a formula one race winner (idc if it was a sprint you still won!!)

i have been on this incredible journey with you long before your first f2 race. i was by your side at your first f2 win and im still by your side now youve won in f1

i know how much this win means to you, i know how much you wanted to prove yourself to everyone and you have. you never fail to amaze me, especially coming back after the shit show that was yesterday

you are truly incredible and you are so so special🐨

i love you so much, congratulations🧡

tagged oscarpiastri

view comments

user61: WHAT IF I STARTED SOBBING

user11: THE KOALA😭😭

user72: so deserved🧡incredible drive!!

user68: the f2 race winner picture😭😭the f1 race winner picture😭😭THE SMILEY INTERVIEW PICTURE😭😭

oscarpiastri: my favorite goodluck charm🧡

oscarpiastri: thank you so much for sticking with me through it all

oscarpiastri: i appreciate you so much my love

yourusername: you are so special, lovely🩵

landonorris: usually i hate your sappy posts but ill make an exception this time..congrats mate!!

oscarpiastri: you too mate!

yourusername: knew id get you to love these posts eventually🤭

formula2: we’re so proud of our aussie🥹🐨

oscarpiastri and yourusername added to their stories

seen by yourusername, aussiegrit and 722,519 others

*text on first photo reads: my favourite thing is when i open my phone after a race and i see the photos yn sent me during the race🧡* *text on second photo reads: i love seeing my boy do what he loves*

oscar’s replies:

user52: shes so cute☹️

user12: tell me that was when you won the race and not before

user61: where can i find someone like her😭

yourusername: babyyy i didnt know youd share these😭😭

oscarpiastri: just had to show everyone how grateful i am for you🤍

user49: get yourself someone who supports you the way yn supports oscar!!

yn’s replies:

user17: oh i love you guys so much

yourfriend2: we are all so proud of oscar!!

oscarpiastri: i love you so much more than i can ever express

yourusername: osc☹️☹️ i hold so much love and adoration for you

oscarpiastri: wait when did you take this photo??

yourusername: i watched the final lap in the bathroom so i could sob in peace😭

[buuniebaby]

sex tape headcons 😉😉

PRETTY ON CAMERA 🎀 HAMZAH X READER

includes: rough sex, sex tapes, choking, fem!reader, ft sex, unprotected sex

wordcount: 2.2k

as much as hamzah hates to admit it, he loves being on camera - and that doesn’t stop at just youtube videos.

despite the promise to himself he made mental note of in high school to never send nudes, it’s become his new addiction. he loves to show off every inch of himself to you, he loves the praise you give in response to seeing his body, and he especially loves knowing that he can make you go feral with a simple video.

on a similar note, he fucking adores seeing you on camera. he likes the way you get shy when being recorded, whether the audience is slushies or it’s a video just for him. he’s obsessed with the pretty lingerie you wear for him and the way your tiny hands caress your body while you think of him. it makes him want to fucking destroy you.

ever since you two have gotten into the habit of filming videos for each other, it’s almost like something’s awoken inside of him. an urge of sorts, to make a fantasy he’s kept bottled up forever real. he wants both of you on camera, together. however, there’s one problem preventing him from asking:

hamzah is a pussy.

but thankfully, you’re just as horny as he is nervous.

the topic doesn’t actually come up until a day where your boyfriend is particularly needy. he’s sleeping over at martin’s tonight - a little too long without you for his liking.

fortunately for him, martin and mandy had forgotten to get a few items for their next video, so he had a bit of alone time. as soon as they’re out the door, his shirt is pulled off and he’s facetiming you.

as your phone buzzes to life, you’re snapped out of your doomscrolling session, wearing just one of hamzah’s large hoodies and a pair of panties. you smirk a bit at the sight of his contact popping up on your screen and sit up.

“hi, baby.” he says, voice deep. “I miss you.”

“i miss you too,” you reply back, in a more light tone. “but ill be with you tomorrow..” you say, smirking. you’ve got the same idea as him.

“are martin and mandy home?” you ask. as much as you want hamzah right now, you really don’t want to deal with the consequences of his best friend overhearing you two.

“nah, they left a little while ago.. forgot to buy some stuff for the video. ..soo, I have you all to myself.” he says, smirking.

“yeah?” you lean into the camera, doe eyes sparkling up at him.

“yeah. y’know, I missed hearing your voice, baby. it’s enough to get me hard.” he mutters, voice deep and breathy. it only makes you want him more.

you can only bring yourself to reply with a simple, “mhmm?” as your hands reach into your panties.

“yeah.. fuck. get that fucking hoodie off too. wanna see all of you.” he mutters back. you can tell he’s touching himself now too.

immediately, the hoodie is on the floor, bare chest exposed to the camera. hamzah takes this as an opportunity to change his position as well, camera giving you a direct view of him laying on his bed, sweatpants pulled down as he grinds his cock into a pillow.

“fuck, miss those tits. you want that? my mouth on them?” he says, breathing heavy.

you moan at this, grinding down into your fingers - they aren’t nearly his size, but it’s the best you can do for right now.

“yes, fuck- keep talking.” is all you can utter out.

“yeah? wish this pillow was your pretty little pussy, you know that? wish you were right here right now-“ he chokes, “fucking rutting in this pillow, just wish it was you, baby.” the visual of his hips thrusting, starting to get desperate paired with his words is destroying you, but the next thing he says is what really does it.

“gonna fill you up when I get back home. gonna pump my come into you, until you can’t take it anymore - fuck.”

fuck.

you see his hips twitch as you bite your fist, seemingly both close to finishing. you can hear a faint “shit- shit.” from the other side of the camera, and with that, you feel yourself finish all over your fingers. just as you’re done, you see hamzah’s thrusts pause as he takes a breath, and you can only guess that he just came as well.

after both collecting your breath, you mutter out a simple, “wish we were together. instead of facetime, we could just like, record it.” he continues to lay down, still recovering, but once he actually processes what you just said he perks up.

“wait.. like, actually? you’d do that?” he asks eagerly, eyes slightly widening.

“I mean.. I wouldn’t ever post it or anything. just like.. something to watch when you’re not here. only if you’re comfortable though.” you casually reply, and suddenly he’s already hard again.

“im very comfortable. incredibly comfortable with that actually.” he says, excitedly, and it makes you giggle.

“get your camera charged for tomorrow then.” you say, a sly smile forming. you’re enjoying the way you have a hold on him. “oh- and make sure you bring a new sd card, not the one you use for filming. i have a feeling we’re gonna make a lot of footage.”

“yes ma’am,” he says, making a salute sign with his hands. even when he’s bricked, he knows exactly how to make you laugh.

hamzah is counting down the minutes until he gets to see you when the next day comes. martin and mandy are even shocked at his eagerness to get out of the house, joking that he hates them now.

after what feels like the longest drive he’s ever taken, hamzah arrives home. he’s speeding through the door, into the living room, only to see you’re nowhere to be found; that is, until he checks his bedroom.

he slowly opens the door to a sight he never wants to forget - you’re sprawled out on his bed, baby pink lingerie barely covering your body, as you fix your hair in your phone camera. the sound of the door creaking open catches your attention, and you look up at him with those big, sparkly deer eyes. you giggle at his mouth, jaw dropped at the sight of you. “missed me?”

“fuck, yes.” is all he can mutter as he crawls onto the bed beside you, pulling the camera out of his backpack and then carelessly tossing the rest of his stuff off the bed. he pulls you into a sloppy kiss, immediately making up for the time he was gone.

you breathlessly manage to pull him off of you. giggling, you whine, “hamzahh, you haven’t even started recording yet.”

“shit- forgot.” he grabs the camera and fumbles with it for a second, then places it on the side of the bed. you see a red light go off as he pulls you into another kiss.

your lips trace his as your tiny hands find their way to the bottom of his sweatshirt, pulling it off to reveal nothing underneath. he begins to undress you as well, big hands carefully tracing the dainty lace as he pulls it off you. he leans down to put his mouth on one of your tits, suckling on it like a newborn baby. one of his hands goes to the neglected breast, and the other to grip your neck. you gasp as his strong, veiny hands wrap around you, taking your breath away.

he pulls away from your chest, leaving you panting. you can see him mess with the strings of his sweatpants until they’re untightened, then pull them down, showing his erection through his boxers.

“hamzah…” is all you can say. he’s the only thing on your mind right now.

“baby..” he mutters back.

his strong hands push you back into the bed, laying you down. you look up at him, confused, watching him get closer to your face. he caresses your cheek for a second, moving your hair out of your eyes.

“so pretty.. my girl.” he mutters, love in every word that comes out of his mouth.

he gently palms himself through his boxers before slowly pulling out his cock. all you can do is stare at his dick, precum glistening from the tip. he drags it across your lips, and by instinct, you open your mouth. you lap at it, gently, but hamzah has a different idea.

“open.” is all hamzah says before suddenly, his whole cock is down your throat. you make a shocked sound, but then settle to the feeling of the shaft’s intrusion. he starts slow, but begins to thrust in and out of your mouth rapidly, giving you small breaks when he pulls out for air.

“so fucking hot.. feels so wet around me..” he groans, using your face as his own personal pocket pussy for the camera. the sounds of your gagging only turns him on more, hips stuttering as he thrusts.

“mhmm, mhn, mmgh- fuck! fucking- perfect little throat, all mine, my perfect girl-“ he says as you feel a twitch from inside your mouth. his hips stutter as he cums down your throat, with a “god- all mine. fuckkk.”

as he slowly slides his cock out of your mouth, his fluids coat the outside of your lips. he grabs the camera, showing it your face. you stick your tongue out, showing the lack of cum in your mouth. he pets your cheek again, deep voice muttering a “good girl, swallowing it all for me.” all you can do is give the camera a fucked-out smile.

hamzah repositions you two so you’re sitting in his lap, the camera facing your ass. you kiss him, sloppy, already feeling drunk off of the feeling of his cock fucking your mouth. as the two of you make out, he grips your ass, moving your hips against his lap. he pulls his sweatpants and boxers all the way down, making the connection skin-to-skin.

he lets out shaky breath before he grinds his bare cock against your pussy a few more times. “you’re gonna be the fucking death of me.” is what he mutters before sliding in, exhaling a loud, “fuckkk” with it.

your ass bounces on top of him, making a loud “plap” sound every time you sink down onto his pelvis. his strong hands grasp onto your hips and lift your body up and down as he thrusts into you in unison. his hips speed up as do yours, until you’re panting on top of his cock, desperately making any kind of friction.

“ah- ah- ahh- fuck!” you whimper with each thrust, only making hamzah get more aggressive. he feels your cunt tighten around him, and thrusts as deep as he possibly can while you cum.

hamzah lets out a deep, breathy laugh as you nuzzle into his shoulder. he rubs your back gently, but then whispers a soft, “i still need to cum again, baby.”

you perk up again, preparing yourself for round 2, but hamzah is already manhandling you into place. he maneuvers you into all fours on the bed, then grabs the camera.

he records as he slides the tip of his cock against your pussy, then shoves his cock inside you. you let out a loud gasp at the intrusion. he uses the other hand to pull on your hair, aggressively yanking your head back, making you look him in the eyes.

“want you to beg for it-“ he says, out of breath, “beg for my cum.”

“mhmm.. please.. need it hamzah!” you say, whimpering and whining as your cunt tightens around his cock. he’s animalistic, thrusting into you like it’s the last time he’ll ever see you.

“more.. fuck- more, baby. need to hear you while I cum.” he says.

“please hamzah, I need it, I need your cum inside me so bad. fuck- ruin me- ahhh, breed me!” you whine out, shaking from the way he pounds you. you groan as you feel him cum inside, seed filling you up and making you feel whole.

hamzah turns off the camera and puts it off to the side, still inside you. he doesn’t move, just lays on top of you, pressing soft kisses to your back.

“love you..” he mutters, “so fucking much.”

you softly whine back, face still pressed into the mattress. he slowly pulls out, his cum buried so deep inside of you nothing even leaks out. you try to sit up, but hamzah pushes you back down. “hold on- there’s.. one more thing i want to do.”

you look back at him, confused, and watch him as he grabs the camera and starts recording your ass. he slowly spreads your folds open, and after a second, cum begins to drip out. a quiet “fuck..” is all he can mutter, watching his seed drip out of his baby.

once hamzah is done being mesmerized by the way his cum leaks out of you, he lays back down and immediately wraps his arms around you, gently caressing your body, staring at you with all the love in the world.

“i love you too,” you tiredly murmur.

“huh?”

“you said i love you earlier.. so do i. i love you.”

he smiles at you for a second, then places a soft kiss on your forehead. “love you too, baby.”

thank u for reading!! SEND REQUESTS i fear we r in a hamzah drought.. 😞 but ill try to get them out quick mwah thank u baii

[jiminjamms]

sex therapy :: 29. karma's a bitch

chapter tags/warnings: manipulative! naoya. naoya's anger issues continue. infidelity/adultery. extremely strong language. corruption. mentions of physical violence. family drama.

word count: 3.2k

notes: my sixty-hour work weeks have been taking a huge toll on me, so i apologize for this incredibly slow update. the good news is that i cannot take this corporate america bullshit anymore and will resign in the next two months. thank you for being patient! likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated. xoxo

fic masterlist | 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33.

Naoya had never felt this humiliated in his entire life.

When people said karma was a bitch, he never thought that it would actually make its way back to him. While he was not the most righteous person in the world, he was the Zenin CEO, for god’s sake! He was the leader to a multi-billion dollar conglomerate, the heir of a centuries-old bloodline. 

Yet, here he was, charging back to his apartment like an irate animal.

He startled the lobby doormen upon his loud entry, and once he returned to his penthouse, he had to will every muscle in his body not to tear apart his abode in a rampage.

In his head, his encounter with Toji looped like a broken record, fueling his chagrin.

When Naoya sought to confront his cousin for the first time in months, he thought he had been prepared. He did not expect to end up digging himself into a deep hole surpassing the world's layers due to a judgment error—a slight miscalculation. 

Correction: this miscalculation was anything but 'slight' because he wildly underestimated what felt like everything. Now, he bore the consequences of his mistakes after inadvertently turning himself into a laughingstock. Because his ego was his hamartia, he had become a mere jester in a story where he was meant to be the sole hero, and thus his ill feelings burned hotter than the surface of the Sun.

As much as he hated to admit this, Naoya had been shortsighted. He should have known better. Just weeks ago, he saw a vision filled with saccharine promises of a happy, comfortable life as the most powerful man in Japan imbued with power and wealth. He had been confident—a hundred percent certain—that absolutely nothing could go wrong in the trajectory he worked hard to create. But, what the actual fuck just happened at the therapist's office?!

He did not expect his mistress to make a complete fool out of him. Her very existence was an anathema to him, and he hoped to never be in contact with that woman ever again. In hindsight, Naoya should have taken the hint a while ago. He had previously forgiven his cousin's ex-wife, dismissing her blissful but intentional ignorance. Mari had never been too keen on actual intellectual and corporate matters, for she took far more interest in the money and comfort that came with starting from the bottom and sleeping her way to the top. Despite that, Naoya trusted that she at least had half the mind to not publicly discuss their affair, only for him to be proven wrong in front of none other than...Toji Fushiguro.

"Fuck!" Naoya screamed into the void of his empty living room. His reality was a nightmare as he thought about his despised cousin again—the assured gleam in his viridescent eyes, the smug smirk that tugged across his lips. The imagery soured his mood beyond measure. "I'm going to fucking—"

He did not finish his sentence.

Instead, he kicked a nearby lamp in an angry bout, toppling the fixture over and sending tiny shards cascading across the floor accompanied by the dull thud of the shade. Whatever. His housekeeper tomorrow morning would come in and clean that. 

What he instead focused on was how he had never been this infuriated, this belittled, this undignified.

The entire apartment echoed with Naoya's loud huff.

'About ‘your wife’ or whatever you want to deem her, there is not a single chance in hell that she’d ever think about calling you her husband anymore.' These words from Toji affected him more than he would have liked.

What did he mean?

That bastard is bluffing, the blonde had to tell himself, yet even he could not believe in his own consolation.

He needed to do something about this. 

No, no, Naoya wasn’t scared.

He couldn’t possibly be, right?!

Yet, after he could feel his ears begin to cool and breathing start to re-regulate, he stared at the emptiness in his halls as he came to the realization that had no better choice but to talk to you.

You didn't want to be here.

The moment you read Naoya Zenin's text to meet up for a 'quick chat' at the café near his office, you already knew that the upcoming conversation was going to be anything but 'quick.' The last thing you wished to do was to be in the same vicinity as that very man again.

After spending the last few days at your family residence, you had been showered with warm attention from aunts, uncles, cousins, and even house attendants who—despite naturally wondering the reason behind your stay—welcomed your visit with open arms. To your relatives' many inquiries, you forged a pretense that all was well even if all was not. (Besides, all did seem well in your family estate, away from the incessant pandemonium that was the Tokyo city center.)

While you knew that this peaceful break was not meant to last forever, you did not anticipate returning to the capital just to sit with the Zenin CEO alone.

Naoya had specifically chosen a corner table in the Hong Kong-inspired establishment, distanced from potential eavesdroppers. He seemed to have been waiting for a while by the time you arrived, his right leg crossed over his left knee as he twiddled with his thumbs impatiently. Sprawled on the table were a freshly brewed pot of jasmine tea and a platter of warm custard pastries.

He remained quiet as you took the seat across from him, observing with a crease on his forehead and a knit to his brows.

Anyone could tell that the blonde was not the least bit happy.

"Giving me dirty looks is not going to get this conversation anywhere," you pointed out while helping yourself to a tart.

From your comment, the inverted slope on Naoya's lips twisted into a deeper frown. 

He did not understand where your annoyance came from. 

Fine, he never treated you nicely either, but he did not expect you to snap at him when the discussion had hardly begun. You offered him no greetings, and Naoya also took great offense at how you chose not to look at him as you talked.

Truth be told, your neglect reminded him of all the other upsetting things that he was dying to bring up, and your unpleasant attitude whittled away the little restraint he had left.

“You didn’t try to ask where I’ve been. Not one text or call. Guess it would not have mattered to you if I disappeared, huh?" he lashed out through gritted teeth. He hated being forgotten, hated being looked over, and hated how easy it was for him to prove you to be a neglectful and apathetic wife.

Which was why there was no better option than to cut him off.

“You ordered me to leave you alone, Naoya.” Only slightly did you turn your head to glance at him. Stirring sugar into your tea, you kept your attention otherwise on the nearby window and watched businesspeople scurrying about on the streets on their lunch breaks. "You can live without my attention since I'm not the only woman you have around. What happened to your lady friend? Hasn't she been entertaining you long before our marriage? I am sure she would love your company, so why not pay her an impromptu visit?”

From a slanting angle, you could tell that the transformation from your normally calm demeanor dismayed him. Naoya, not you, was typically the one to make snide comebacks, but he could not deny your latest comments. Evidently, he wanted you to go back to your submissive and passive self, but that was precisely what you no longer could be for him.

His silence prompted you to reach into your purse and retrieve a thick manila envelope, and you presented the package on the table.

Naoya's gaze snapped to the parcel. 

He was curious, but cautiously so. He had invited you here, expecting to control the narrative, to dictate the terms. As a result, your unexpected move threw him off balance. 

"What...?"

“Take a look and find out for yourself.”

A puzzled Naoya demonstrated no hesitation.

He snatched the folder, tearing the top open and greedily grabbing the curated pieces inside. He stared for a long time at the first item: a photo. But he recognized the image of him and his mistress, boarding a private jet for their most recent trip to Mexico. Then, he flipped through the stack rapidly, barely registering each item before he turned to the next. Some were printed-out pictures and others were cutouts from news articles, but all featured him and his paramour. The confusion on Naoya's visage slowly morphed into aggravation, and when he finished his inspection, he forcefully threw the items back onto the table.

In the end, Naoya sat back and went still, not even blinking, thinking, or doing anything but pressing his tongue along his inner cheek. "How did you get these?"

No apologies. No remorse.

Hell, based on his response, the man could not even bother to deny your accusations, a telling sign of how little he could care for his relationship with you. Obviously, you must be a joke to him.

In one firm motion, you placed down your teacup.

"You're missing the point.”

While one's eyes may be the windows to the soul, Naoya's offered nothing in his current state. His pupils looked at—no, examined you in intense dark pools despite the iridescent glow from the lights above.

"Toji gave you these, didn't he?" Naoya continued with a disdainful laugh, himself insistent on getting answers to his own questions. "You can't find this shit on the internet anymore since I've had them all taken down. But Toji's fast. He has eyes everywhere, I know he does. Look at him. Months later, and he's still hung up on reclaiming a position he should've never had the right to in the first place!"

Thankfully, you didn’t flinch from his loud voice. What you did do was become more indifferent as if you were placing a wall to separate yourself from him, mentally bracing for his emotional maelstrom.

"You are missing the point," you said once more. This time, you shook your head in disappointment, and your tone was far more frustrated than the last. "Aren't you shameless?”

"Me? Shameless?!” His brows pinched closer from fury. "Take a look at yourself, woman! What did you do to get all this dirt from Toji and his henchmen, hm? Ha! Know what? I bet it’s because you're so willing to spread yourself for them,” he rambled with a nasty sneer plastered on his expression. At his comments, your jaw fell open before snapping shut as the meaning behind his words sank in. The way this man disregarded how he had an affair (that began many months ago!) only to redirect the spotlight onto you was repulsing, implying that the sole reason the therapists talked to you was that you had slept around. “A whore like you love taking all them all, don’t you? Well? Well? Am I right? Goddamn, you’re such a—”

The harsh scraping from your chair as you stood was what finally interrupted him. Unable to tolerate his vilification, you counteracted his anger with the venom in your rancorous glare. 

"How dare you talk about me like that!”

In the meantime, prying eyes started to turn in your direction from the commotion: teenage girls, sharing nervous glances across their table; a lone businessman, stopping mid-sip from his cappuccino; even the barista, pausing mid-grind such that her arm froze inches from the hopper.

"That man...doesn't he seem familiar?" a distant voice asked.

"Is he a celebrity or something?"

"No, wait. He's the person on the cover of last month's Fortune magazine. Naoya Zenin!" another replied.

"Isn't that lady his wife?"

While the onlookers' curious glances turned into full-on stares, their regard steeled your resolve rather than bothered you. Instead, you wanted the crowd to take in the spectacle. Corrupt tricks and dirty money had long painted the Zenin heir as 'the most perfect man in Japan,' and the public deserved to understand the fraudulence and cruelty that underlaid his facade.

"For months, I trusted you. I respected you. I put aside the harrowing loneliness weighing on my heart all because I tried to understand you. You told me that finding the time or energy for our marriage was not easy because board meetings kept you late in the office or business meetings required you to spend several nights abroad. Fine! So, I had been patient. But," and your voice overflowed from anger as you pointed a shaking finger at the pictures on the table, "Taking another woman to Michelin restaurants for dinners? Spending nights with her at Ritz-Carltons and Four Seasons? Going on entire vacations with her across the Pacific? All while you had a wife at home? Are you out of your fucking mind ?!" 

The man's nose flared with deep-seated rage, his eyes mirroring the same bitterness in yours. "At the end of the day," he began sternly, "we're still married."

Ridiculous.

“On paper, ” you had to clarify. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be cheating on me with your older cousin's ex-wife."

Immediately, louder murmurs rippled through the crowd. Naoya turned stiff, uncomfortable with the attention. So much for selecting a quiet corner in the café. He wasn’t stupid enough to sense that he had to be careful. Saying one wrong phrase would condemn him to a public meltdown. 

However, you were already steps ahead of him when you loudly declared: “I’m filing for a divorce.” 

That caught him off guard.

Your announcement even drew audible astonishment from bystanders as they stopped their meals, turning to each other and drawing out their phones.

In literal milliseconds, the vexation once riddling Naoya's demeanor shifted into denial.

“No. We’re not going to talk about a fucking divorce right now. We’re going to fix what we have, and you’re going to come back to me. We’re...We're married for a reason, and we’re going to keep with it!”

"That's a bullshit reason,” you had to snap. “Listen to yourself. Do you hear how selfish you sound!?" At this point, nothing could hide your bafflement. "Naoya, you were the one who said that if I wanted to leave this marriage badly, then I should leave. Ask Mai and Maki! They heard the entire conversation. Didn't you also say that you didn't give a fuck anymore?"

The man attempted to salvage some semblance of control. "I was just joking!"

"No, you were not." Picking up a photo of Naoya and Mari together, you pressed the picture to his face. “How much more can I take? How many days would I still have to go through alone in the penthouse, all because you would be spending your sweet time with the woman that you love?”

Unloading all this emotional baggage, not only for Naoya Zenin but also for the café spectators to hear, took courage. Previously, you would have let the burden gnaw at your soul. You would have rather wallowed in suffering rather than even think about speaking up.

But the past was the past, and you had grown immensely since then. Currently, you were stronger, more confident. You knew that, in Toji's words, you deserved better. Life was too beautiful to waste on a man who did not love or respect you and, with that in mind, you relaxed your clenched fists with an exhausted and fatigued sigh. 

You broke me first, you said through a deserted gaze. 

Naoya Zenin was the reason why you had become the way you were: a cold, seemingly heartless wife who cared none for her husband. The misery that he placed on your shoulders finally reached its limit, and while you could forgive, forgetting the memories in your scarred heart would be a task over months, years, and even a lifetime. 

“Listen,” you began, tone terse, “this divorce will set you free. Mari is the person whom you need—”

“The hell. No!” the man interrupted in a violent outburst, taking your breath away as he slammed the table and hissed. “I don't give a damn about her right now! We’re…We’re over!" he snarled with incredible anger such that he almost appeared to growl. "I don’t need her, I need you! That...That whore doesn't give a flying fuck about my shit! All she cares about is...is...Fuck this. All she wants is the money. Why else do you think she married and then later divorced Toji? She doesn't want to hear about all the shit in my family because she had not been brought up to deal with all the fuckin' drama in my household. She can't understand because, unlike you, she wasn't born with a silver spoon shoved down her goddamn throat!"

Quietly, you absorbed his words, stunned.

So this was how their relationship had been.

You had not expected him to reveal all these entrenched feelings willingly, but his concoction between reckless rage and sheer desperation had allowed him to spill the ugly side of this extramarital affair. Naoya could not afford to lose you, and not just because this marriage solidified the respect of those around him. While Mari offered him an outlet for physical indulgence, only you could offer the cornerstone to Naoya's mental and social fortitude.

“So you ‘need’ me now, but what happens when you find another reason to hate me again? What will you do if you don’t think I can fulfill the role you want me to have as your partner? Or if you wake up one day and suddenly want your cousin’s ex-wife again? Or if you meet another woman? Am I supposed to stand there again, and watch this all happen?" 

No answer.

The fact that he couldn't respond hurt.

"My decision is final. Looking back, I despised every single second married to you. In fact, I feel sorry for myself. The fact that I blindly put up with your manipulation, betrayal, and blame for all these months.” With your belongings collected, you prepared to leave. “You would be stupid to think you're the only one with options, you know.”

Only when you turned around did Naoya react, scrambling to his feet.

“What the fuck are you—”

In any other situation, he would have grabbed you, lunged at you, did everything in his power to stop you from going. Yet, given all the witnesses, all he could do was call you back like a helpless child, trying his best to not escalate the scene (although, at this point, even passerbys outside have stopped by the window to spectate).

"Hey!" Naoya called after you. “Hey! I’m still talking with you!”

Pathetic, really, to see him desperately beg for you to stay in his life.

There was a certain satisfaction in finally having the control at your fingertips. The feeling was empowering—electrifying, even—and you became so focused on the gratification that you barely registered Naoya's last question.

“Where are you going?”

At this point, you already stood by the exit.

“That’s not something that my soon-to-be ex-husband would need to know,” and you hardly gave him another glance as the door closed behind you. “Thank you for showing me everything I hope to never find in another man again."

last chapter || next chapter

end notes: Part of why this update took so long was because I wanted to have an encounter between Naoya and Y/N to showcase Y/N’s development, from someone who thoughtlessly defended her husband to someone who could stand up for herself (all while alone!). I envisioned this interaction many times, and I thought about different ways to approach the scene, the delivery, the dialogue, the choreography, etc. It took me a while to go for what I currently have. Thank you for reading!

taglist: @dissociatingdiva @httpsplanetmarsdotcom @nemoyr @huangfairy @shadowarchon @203steph @agentdedf1sh @cloudybabes @lynn-writes-things @illicitwriter @7oji @kikuchimi @chaoticjojofan @musicisme333 @kumocchin @s-guru @mwahilovemylife @hey-gurls69 @cloudsinthecosmos @moon-mumu-moon @kazscara @skilerfrostfairy @funicidals @nico707 @proteovaldez @tsukiyohanayome @marimoares @qirbys @puffaloxx @sakanoshitaa @arizzu @kissditrio @lewd-bunny14 @mistyheart @szired @supsii @yvy1s @lazyassfinals @katkbc @tokyometronetwork @downtown-roponggi @the-cosmos-network

[miridiums-writing]

Hey could you write like a Thranduil x y/n thing? I kinda need it right now.

No Escape

Thranduil x reader fan fic

Imagine : If only you didn’t look so similar to his passed wife, maybe you could have made it out of the elven kingdom with the others.

Authors note : im sorry ive been gone so long, im back now though I promise. Ill set up a new masterlist and we can all forget my old works don’t exist because I hate them all.

The forest was so dark, you and the rest of the company trying to navigate through the winding trails. It was all going fine and well until you all realized you were gong in continuous circles. Seeing the same trees, the same oddly shaped rocks over and over that you all realized something was wrong. “lets just set up camp for now and try again tomorrow.” You insisted, noticing the frustration of the others. “Fine,” Thorin conceded. “We get out of here tomorrow though, we have to keep pushing forwards.”

With that you all settled down for the night, you went off to gather some wood for a fire with Bilbo, unsurprisingly your favourite of the company given how down to earth he was, plus the pure entertainment factor he brought to the group at times due to his cushioned upbringing. “Do you think we actually will get out tomorrow?” Bilbo asked, clearly more worried if that could be the case than he let on. “’course we will, we’ve gotten this far haven’t we?” You reassured, patting the top of Bilbo’s head in hopes of calming his anxiety. “I suppose so.” He mused, adding another stick to the bundle you had already gathered. “Exactly,” You said with a warm smile. “Nothing left to bring us down now except the dragon.” Bilbo seemed to grimace at this. “Don’t remind me” He grumbled. You just laughed lightly. “You’re far too negative, always hope for the best, and prepare for the worst. That’s why you’re here, you little burglar.” “I’m not a burglar.” He reminded. “Well, you’re the best we’ve got, maybe when we’re out of this forest I can help train you how to be stealthy.”

The light banter between the two is quickly cut off by a very loud thump against the forest floor, almost shaking the ground between the pair of you. You immediately dropped the pile of branches to the moss ground, breaking into a sprint back to the others, you could here them in the distance fighting when you’re path was blocked by the biggest spider you’ve ever seen in your life. It was a large black, hairy thing, immediately trying to shoot webs in your direction to catch you. Adrenalin jumped you into first gear, dodging by a hair at the first shot, and bringing your bow and arrow from your back to aim at the spider, aiming right between the eyes and firing the shot. The shot lands. The spider falls, only for three more to appear in its place. This was not going to be easy.

You reach back grabbing another arrow and letting it fly, hitting each spider as they came with pristine accuracy. Even with such accuracy though from years training, it didn’t seem to be enough. The arrows quickly started to dwindle, before running out. Not having enough time between spiders to scavenge for your arrows, leaving you eventually cornered, and empty handed. Though just as one of the spiders went to launch itself at you it got violently thrown backwards by...an elf?

~~~~~

You couldn’t decide whether you preferred the spiders, or this. Getting dragged, cuffed, towards a rathe impressive looking castle. Not that you’d ever say that allowed, in fear of further angering Thorin who already looked like he was plotting the elves deaths in detail, shouting, swearing and struggling as he went. You kept your head down, not sure what was about to happen, but not wanting to anger the elves, especially after they went out of their way to save their lives. Even if it meant they’d ended up getting dragged to the dungeons. You had graciously been given a cell alone. Given you were the only woman in the group it seemed only fair. You got yourself comfy against the wall, listening to the others chat amongst themselves on what to do, waiting for a quiet moment to bring up what felt like the most important thing to worry about. “Where is Bilbo?” You said, cutting through the whispers. The others immediately went silent at that. He wasn’t among them, you hadn’t seen him since before the spiders. “Maybe he’s doing what he does best, burgling the keys.” Baldin grunted. You just hoped he was right.

All talk of escape was cut off by guards coming down, leading Thorin from his cell to meet the king. When the dungeon door closed behind them all of you sighed. If Thorin was angry, which he was, all hope of doing this civilly was going to be immediately snuffed out by his rage. The wait for Thorin to come back was long, and silent. Talk of escape had died completely as you all waited tensely for him to return. And return he did. His eyebrows furrowed in rage, cursing under his breath as he was pushed back into his cell resulting in a loud bang as his body collided with the floor. No words needed to be spoken for them to know it hadn’t gone well. The already depressing reality hit like a train. Unless a miracle happened. This was it.

~~~~~~~

You woke up the next morning to banging against the bars of your cell. You were crumpled against the wall, your back strained from the position you’d slept in. “Get up.” The guard said gruffly, starting to poke you with the sheathed sword to fully wake you up. “Get up!” The demanded again, much more aggressively than previously. You slowly started more your cramped body up off of the floor. The cell door opened and two guards immediately grabbed your arms ad started dragging you out of the dungeon to who knows where. The walk was long and winding, it felt like they were taking you on a confusing route on purpose to make sure you didn’t know the way out. Or maybe the halls really were this confusing, who knows. Either way you eventually arrived at a rather impressive looking door. Large green wooden panels made up the door with large tree roots encasing the doors, twirling around the doors handles.

Someone from the other side opened the doors leading to what seemed to be a throne room, with a tall blonde haired man sat on top, a rather dramatic crown upon his head, adorned with gems and jewels to mimic a berry branch. He watched closely as you were dragged in, forced to kneel down in front of him on the ground. His expression seemed to change from mild annoyance to surprise as you got closer. Now kneeled before him, the man stood, towering over you as he stared down at your face, almost like he didn’t believe it. “Oh, it’s you” He said, relief and sadness laced his voice. His legs seemed to give out under him and kneeled down staring at your face with tears in his eyes. “Oh my dear, how I’ve missed you. I though- I thought you died.” He said, his voice cracking slightly as his hand reached for your cheek, fingertips gently grazing your cheek. You stared at him blankly. Not a flicker of recognition behind your eyes as he acted as if you were supposed to know him. Confusion took over his features at your lack of response. “Calatheil? My blossom, why are you acting like you don’t know me?” Now it was your turn to be confused, “That’s not my name, I’m (Y/N).” You said in response. The man went quiet after that, staring holes into the floor. “But you look like her.” He said, his voice firm, like it was a fact. “That doesn’t mean I am her”

The man went silent again for a moment, anger passing over his face before disappearing. “Of course it does,” He said. “You’ve just forgotten is all.” His words were firm and absolute. “Ill just need to remind you, my poor wife” You looked at him as if he was insane. “But I’m not. I am not your wife, I’m sorry. But I’m not... I wanna go back to my cell now.” The man laughed without humour. “Absolutely not, my wife shouldn’t be around such vermin.” “Do you mean the dwarves?” you asked, going on the defensive, they were your friends, were they odd absolutely, but that didn’t mean you loved them any less. “Of course I do! You’ll be going no where near them ever again. Guards, take her to my room, and do not under any circumstances let her get free!” He ordered, standing up from his crouched position and heading back to his thrown. “And bring me Thorin! I may be inclined to allow his freedom under a condition.” You were once again grabbed by guards and dragged out. “No! I’d rather cells, don’t you dare, I’m not your wife! Let me go!” Your shouts died down as you were dragged further away, thrashing in an attempt of any escape, managing to get one arm free only for more guards to hold you, overpowered once more by the numbers. The struggling silenced to Thranduil as the door shut behind you.

[writtnbyhan]

Let me take care of you.

PAIRING: han jisung x reader

TAGS: sickfic, idol!han, established relationship.

WORD COUNT: 1927

PROMPT: "and just when were you going to tell me about your [injury/illness]?" You're sick and Jisung is worried -- That's the plot.

warnings: mentions of being sick (reader has a cold). Let me know if I missed a warning.

author's note: i don't know where this came from. I had something very different planned for today's post but this came to me in a vision and now i can only think of jisung taking care of his s/o, he's so baby and he's probably so good at taking care of people !!!!! i just wanna be in between his arms !! being cared for !!!

Okay, here’s the thing: you knew you were getting kinda sick. You knew from the way your body ached when you first woke up, from the sore throat and from the general feeling of being unwell. However, you decided it was not a big deal, and that was obviously your first mistake.

It was Jisung’s kind-of-free day, which meant he only had to go to the studio with 3RACHA to work on “some stuff”, as he put it himself, refusing to elaborate claiming that it was a surprise. You knew they were probably working on music for the next comeback even when this one wasn’t even out yet, and that’s why Jisung wouldn’t come clean, wanting to avoid your reprimanding from overworking themselves when they finally have some free time from the studio, only having to comply with the schedules related to the comeback.

On these days, he was usually only busy for a few hours before they got distracted with something random and therefore decided to call it quits, going home and relaxing for a few hours before moving onto the next scheduled activity. Today, Jisung didn’t have any of those, only going to the studio and then straight back home. You didn’t want to ruin what little time together you were getting these days, and you weren’t actually sick yet, so it wasn’t anything you should worry about.

You woke up alone, the other side of the bed unmade from when Hanji woke up, earlier, and went to the gym before the studio. He spent most nights with you, cuddling to make up for the time you weren’t capable of being together due to busy schedules and responsibilities. Everything ached, and the only thing you wanted to do was cover yourself with the sheets and sleep some more. But, you couldn’t do that. You needed to take a shower, clean up a bit, and force yourself to feel better. “Just for today, tomorrow we can be sick,” you told your body as you got out of bed, frowning and closing your eyes when the light coming through the window was quick to cause you a headache.

Shower first, you decided, going for the warm water and hoping it’d help with the pain on your body. It did, luckily. You then brushed your teeth, noticing on the mirror that the bags under your eyes were darker and more noticeable. Yes, you were obviously getting sick. Tomorrow. You were getting sick tomorrow, because today you had to spend the day with Jisung and cuddle with him watching Ghibli movies, it was a need.

After breakfast, you took some ibuprofen and sent Jisung a quick text.

“good morning, baby. hope everything’s going well at the studio, missing you already :)”

Putting your phone down after that, you set out to clean up the apartment, taking more ibuprofen whenever your body was being inconvenient to you.

“hello cutie, we’re actually wrapping up for the day!! going home in 30, love you.” You read the text when ten minutes had already passed since it was received. With a smile on your face, you sent a quick reply, knowing it wasn’t necessary given that he was already coming home, but also knowing that he would sulk if you didn’t reply to his “love you”.

“love you too<3 will be waiting with the popcorn ready.”

Making good on your promise, you started making popcorn and conditioning the living room for

Making good on your promise, you started making popcorn and setting up the living room for your movie plans, bringing all the blankets you could find (which was not actually necessary, but you were starting to feel cold so you thought it’d be better to have those around) and the pillows from your bed.

As you were placing the popcorn on the table with some juice, the door opened, and in came the squirrel-looking boy that was able to put a smile on your face instantaneously, even when you were feeling so ill.

“Hello, my love!” you said, dramatically, bringing a hand to your own chest as if to hold your heart. “I thought you’d never make it, I was left missing you for too long!”

He smiled with that heart-shaped smile that made your heart do spins. You felt dizzy just by looking at him (okay, maybe that was the cold you probably had, but you decided to convince yourself it was Jisung’s fault). “My lady, I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting, shall we begin with our plans?”

You giggled, skipping towards him to give him a kiss on the cheek and drag him to the couch that was currently surrounded by blankets. You chose one and threw it over both of you, getting comfortable in between your boyfriend’s arms with the remote in hand.

Halfway through the first Ghibli movie of the night, you began sneezing.

“’m sorry” you mumbled, getting up to grab some tissues and noticing you felt much more sick than in the morning.

You should tell Jisung, you knew that. But he’d worry, and you didn’t want to cut your night together short.

So, you didn’t. You grabbed the tissues and got back into his arms, kissing his hands when they were in front of you. Jisung freezed when you did that, and you frowned — it was a common gesture between the two of you, why was he reacting like that?

His hand went quickly to your forehead.

Oh, that.

Jisung gasped.

“Baby, you’re burning up.”

He sounded worried, and you sighed.

“I know.” You said. You didn’t actually know you had a fever, but you didn’t want him to make a fuss. You wanted to watch movies together, and cuddle, and sleep. And okay, maybe you had a headache and that had made you grumpy, which was something that always happened when you were sick so Jisung was used by now to your complaints about his caring.

However, despite knowing you always reacted badly to feeling unwell, that comment had made him frown, looking at you while his hand was still on your forehead.

“You knew?” he repeated, clearly agravated by what you had just told him. “And when exactly were you planning on telling me? When you collapsed in the hallway or while I was being forced to bring you to the hospital?”

He was being dramatic, of course, but the sincerity in his worry and his concern made your heart soften a little, so you directed your eyes to the floor, blinking to try and ease the headache that had formed from looking at the screen for too long.

“I didn’t wanna worry you” you mumbled, voice soft and shy. He melted a little at that, his anger dissapearing almost as quick as it had made his way forth.

“Baby, you need someone to take care of you when you’re feeling like this. We could’ve just cuddled in bed so you were more comfortable, and I could’ve been checking on your temperature and your medicine. What hurts?” he asked, giving a little kiss to your forehead before letting his hold around you loosen, clearly having plans of getting up.

You whined at the lost of his warmth against your back, your eyes filling up with unwanted tears at the cold and the loneliness you suddenly felt.

“Hannie…” you cried out, looking up at him, who looked almost bewildered. When he met your eyes, a pout formed in his face. He extended his arms towards you, now standing in front of the couch, and hugged you so you could attach yourself to him like a koala would to a tree. Your hold was weak, so he made sure to keep you safe with one hand on your back while he wrapped a blanket around you as if you were a baby. You knew the plan was to get you to your shared bed so you could cuddle more comfortably and drift off to sleep when you needed it. Problem was: you had needed it for about 15 minutes by now, so hiding your face in his neck and letting his warmth envelop you, you were quick to fall asleep against him, not minding his movements or the sounds around you.

You woke up when it was already dark outside. A wet cloth was on your forehead and you were now in bed, your boyfriend’s hand on your waist and Ponyo playing in the background. You looked to your bedside table and found a water bottle and some pills that you knew you didn’t have in your house. You knew Jisung never wanted to leave your side when you were sick, no matter that you were asleep, so you were sure he had those delivered or asked one of the boys to pick them up for him.

You turned around, letting the wet cloth fall off so as to hide your face in his chest. You felt better after sleeping, and you were sure your fever had subsided because you no longer felt cold, but your throat was still sore and your eyes still stung with the light.

At your movement, Han directed all his attention towards you, kissing your forehead and tightening his hold on your waist.

“Hello, sleepyhead. You need to take some medicine, I asked Chan-hyung to bring it here because all you had was some ibuprofen, and you were running out of it. How are you feeling?” he asked, his free hand caressing your hair and making you feel a lot more relaxed, even when your back still ached and your throat hurt.

“I’m okay,” you settled for, your voice coming out raspy and probably revealing what you were hiding. He chuckled, and you knew he knew what you just said was a lie, so you sighed. “I’m feeling a lot better, but my throat still hurts and my body aches. It’s probably just a cold.” You mumbled the last part against his chest, a subtle way of saying: there’s no need to worry this much.

He nodded, which you knew because you felt his head moving above yours. “Probably. Please, take some medicine so you can feel better faster.”

You did as he asked, taking the pill he was offering you and drinking from the water bottle he had uncapped and handed to you. You smiled at him in thanks, after wincing from the bitter taste of the pill.

“Sorry for ruining or movie date.” Your eyes were sad and he knew you were sincerely sorry. A pout formed on your lips as you thought of when you would be able to have the next one, knowing it’d be difficult to plan out given that the comeback was so close.

“You didn’t ruin anything, baby,” he said, equally as sincere. “It’s not your fault you got sick, and I don’t mind taking care of you — I really like it, actually. Plus, I got to watch the movies while watching you sleep, so… I really don’t mind. I just want you to be okay so we can have more movie dates.”

You blushed at his words, feeling soft and just wanting to kiss him — you both knew you should not do that, for he couldn’t get sick now because he had a lot of presentations and performances to do. You pouted.

“This is so unfair, I want to kiss you so badly,” you complained, and he laughed, kissing your cheek.

“I know, baby, me too. So, take your medicine so I can get all the kisses you owe me.”

[rationaliity]

mine now | gallagher x f! reader ( 18 + )

ill be so real with you my dearest freaky anon i'm not the biggest fan of cheating so plspls understand that if this kinda sucks,,, im sorry, especially since you were waiting for so long for this and then i drop the most lukewarm fic of all time. i also had to change the story around so that it was something that i was comfortable writing, sorry about that ! still the basic premise, i just am not good with ntr for some reason ?? weird. who knows man. tags : drug abuse ! dubcon, dirty talking, weed & alcohol mention, female anatomy reader but its sort of nonspecific idk, pw/op, voyeurism sorta, exhibitionism sorta, coercion almost, mentions of infidelity, comfort turns into sex, possessiveness, unprotected sex, gallagher uses petnames a lot, reader being drunk & high at the same time, reader gets on call with her ex boyfriend while gallagher fucks them words: 1.8k

gallagher's hand was in your hair, your head pulled back as he pounded you so hard into the mattress it made your hip hurt a little bit from the pressure, not that it was really what you were focused on. he'd promised to make you forget your shitty ex boyfriend who'd cheated on you, and you had agreed on that without a second thought. it was originally just a drink that the two of you shared together, with you ranting about this loser to gallagher, who was all too patient with you.

one drink turned into three, and drinks turned into smoking together. being crossfaded and half focused, those little rants went on about everything that had pissed you off about that loser since the moment the relationship started to decay. everything from how he refused to flush the toilet no matter how many times you reminded him, to how tiny his dick was. gallagher had laughed at your jokes about him, and it spurred you on to keep going, laughing about that loser's tiny shrimp dick. gallagher asked if you'd ever had a dick bigger than two inches, and you shook your head. you had no idea what sex was really supposed to feel like aside from what you knew.

then he asked if you were willing to see what it was like, and you swore you'd never felt more sober than that moment right then as you hesitantly nodded. was it still going to hurt if you weren't a virgin anymore ? the answer, surprisingly, was a resounding yes ! you learned that pretty quickly as gallagher's hips pistoned into yours, his free hand grabbing the fat of your ass, his body pressed against yours so he could whisper into your ear.

" don't be shy, baby, you can let your makeup ruin my sheets. it's been ruining my shirt all night now, " he purred in your ear, his sharp canines daring to bite into the sensitive skin of your neck completely without warning. when he finally did, you made a pathetic little mewl that you weren't even aware that you could make. " a little reminder of who can fuck you better than that fuckin' pathetic loser, yeah ? gonna go to work tomorrow n show off your mark for everyone to see, yeah ? "

possessiveness was driving him, only amplified tenfold by the weed in his system. it made you both feel everything so much deeper, so both in tune with your bodies and completely disorientated at the exact same time. you couldn't feel your toes anymore, and you weren't even sure you had a tongue in your mouth you were so far gone, but you could feel every deep stroke inside of you as he thrust, and the feeling of his nails digging into the flesh of your ass.

you were a disaster. you knew you should be somewhere else. it was in three the morning, you were three drinks and several shots deep, and with enough weed in your system to kill a victorian child before they could even understand what was happening to them. but you had no idea that you needed this so much, needed to feel him so deep inside of you that it brought you to tears, stretching you so well that you thought there was no way it was going to fit. and yet his cock buried itself completely inside you each time, his tip hitting against your walls in that special spot that made you cry out.

you wanted to scream, you wanted to cry, and by god you wanted to moan so loud that your neighbors could hear you. and maybe you were doing all of those things, at this point you weren't entirely sure what you were doing, other than taking his cock. gallagher was like an animal, desperate to claim every inch of you, and you were so willing to give him everything that he desired without any amount of a fight.

you heard a noise in the background, but you honestly didn't think much of it at that point. it was so unimportant, you didn't really care what it was, although you recognized the sound. " baby, your phone is ringin', you wanna answer it, or should i ? "

you made a pitiful little noise, and he took that as a perfectly valid answer, grabbing your phone and sliding it up for you. " hey, yeah ? oh, man. " you couldn't hear what was going on on the other side of the phone, but you could hear gallagher chuckle, and you swore he started to fuck you even harder now, the lewd noises of your skin slapping together undoubtedly able to be heard through the phone. " yeah, sorry you're a fuckin' loser, but they've got some new dick. thank you for keepin' them so fuckin' tight f'me. "

you don't know why your ex hadn't hung up the phone yet, but also on the other hand it made complete sense. if he had a way to argue, he was going to argue, even when all of the odds were against him, and the answer was blaring at him straight in his face. you buried your face in the pillow, trying not to make so much noise, but finding it impossible with the way gallagher was thrusting inside of you like he owned your body. and maybe he did, who knows at this point ? you just knew that you'd never felt this good, not with yourself, or any other partner.

" you wanna talk to them ? oh, man, be my fuckin' guest. i just hope you know you ain't gonna like what you hear. "

without a warning, the phone was pushed against your ear, letting you speak and say whatever you wanted to, but you couldn't find the words to say anything to him in between the moans spilling from your lips. " i-i- hh- fuck- " you whimpered, trying to think of something to say, but your mind was completely blank and filled with so many thoughts at the exact same time. there was only a brief moment of time where there wasn't anything coming from the other line, your ex so stunned that he couldn't find anything to say, but then came the barrage of insults, ones that would make you cry if you weren't being fucked so well by a man like gallagher, who was able to take your mind off of a pathetic man like your ex.

" put him on speaker, doll. let him hear you cummin' your brains out on my cock if he's so inclined. shit, i'll send him a video if he wants. whatever gets him to understand that you aren't his anymore, " gallagher growled behind you, one of his hands coming to snake around your waist, rubbing the sensitive nub between your legs with his thick, calloused thumb. you could only nod in response, sitting your phone down and turning it on speaker. you wanted him to feel horrible about everything he did to you, and you were hoping this was exactly the revenge you needed to finally get over him.

with the phone out of your hands, it was like it was entirely forgotten, especially with his finger rubbing your clit in tiny little circles. everything was building up to feel so strong inside of you, you had no idea what was happening. was it the drugs in your system making your body act up like this ? you had no idea, completely unsure what was going on. you felt this feeling in your tummy tightening as gallagher fucked you senseless, exactly like how he had promised to.

" ga-gallagher- " you whimpered out, your breath hitching in your throat. even in your fucked out state, you still managed to say something coherent, and of course it was his name. that thought only brought a satisfied grin to his face, and the older man couldn't stop himself from responding, clearly putting on a show for the person on the other end of the phone.

" what is it, my sweet ? gonna cum ? ya gonna cum on my cock like this 'nd forget all about him ? you take me so well, it's like you were made for a big, fat cock to stretch you out 'nd rearrange ya. " he was going so hard he needed to grab the headboard, his nails digging into the wood so hard that he wasn't sure if it would splinter or not, not that it even mattered. a little blood wasn't going to hurt him, and it certainly wasn't going to make him stop fucking your divine body into the perfect little cocksleeve for him. " is this your first orgasm on a cock ? you don't even know what's happenin' to ya, that's fuckin' adorable. you aint got no idea why you feel all tight down there, huh ? "

all you could do was nod helplessly against him, drooling onto the fabric of the bedsheets that was so soaked from your slick just dripping down your legs and pooling underneath you. " gonna- gonna cum, gonna cum, gallagher- pl-please- " you didn't know why you were saying please, you knew he wasn't going to stop now, not when he had a point to make of giving you the best orgasm you've ever had in your life.

" cum then, sweetie. i'll ride you through it. i'm gonna cum in this little hole of yours, okay ? you okay with that ? " you didn't give him a verbal response, just a nod of your head, but he couldn't stop himself from gently slapping your clit, making you cry out in pain, the sharpness of the sensation leaving you breathless. " say it, doll. say you want me to cum inside. you can do it, baby. "

" please- cuh-cum inside of me, gallagher- " you begged, earning you a tentative kiss on the side of your neck where he had bitten you earlier, and his finger started to rub circles around your sore clit again, perfectly timed just to make you cum.

" we're gonna cum together, okay ? let go, baby. i'm right here wi-with ya, " he couldn't stop himself from letting out a low groan, letting go of the headboard to grab your hip, dragging you on his cock as he fucked himself on you, chasing your orgasms together. with a low, animalistic growl, gallagher let go inside of you, shooting hot ropes inside of your walls as you clenched helplessly around him, the duo orgasm making you feel like you were able to blank out at any second, but you were entirely aware of your situation. he rode out the sensations with you, slowing down into gentle thrusts as he milked both of your orgasms at the same time.

when he pulled, gallagher laughed to himself, kissing the side of your neck and your nape several times as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing his body against yours. " he hung up. guess we gotta call him back when we have a round two, yeah ? "

— ♡ rationaliity 2024

[nmakii]

after all this time, you and i

— for @nanasesgirlfriend. even though you want to, just try to never grow up.

— just the admirations of nanase, a lovesick boy, on his girlfriend’s birthday

sighs… how to write ab nanase…

12:00.

“happy birthday, darlin’!” nanase hugged you from behind, pulling you into his chest as he falls back into your bed. you squeal from the sudden pin down as you squirm in you boyfriend’s grasp.

“eek, niji!” you gasp, all before laughing out loud. “thanks…” you hum, curling to his side and kissing him. he snuggles his head on top of your’s as he pulls out his phone.

you turn your head to see what he could possibly be doing, and you see that he’s opening up his instagram, posting an adorable birthday story filled with pictures of you, as ‘the most beautiful thing’ by bruno major plays. he knows how much you love to be shown off after all.

he posts it, and your phone goes off from his story mention. you look up to him, cheeks flushed, and he grins like a golden retriever. his meaty fingers move to untangle the messy strands of hair caught in your face, and he cheekily moves once again. now with you beneath him, and his face nestled on the nape of your neck, breathing in your scent.

“…i love ya, darlin’…” he murmurs, his head popping up. his eyes gleam, reflecting your appearance, as his pupils dilate at the very sight of you. “i love you too, niji.” you hum back.

you finally manage to claw nanase off of you, and he pouts. but he understands, nonetheless. “i’ll see ya tomorrow. y’should get some sleep, ho‘kay? i bet my girl’s gonna get swarmed tomorrow!” he jokingly boasts, skipping over his syllables. you frown, eyebrows creasing from disappointment. “you’re not sleeping over? why not? it’s my birthday, niji…” you whine, using the tone you know makes him give you what you want.

and it works; your tone makes his heart break, he wants to just forget what he was gonna do and sleep over instead. but, he’s gotta! it’s for your surprise! he mentally reinforces himself as he prepares to say the one word that he hates saying to you.

“…no, i can’t..! i’m sorry, baby!” he apologizes. he’s weak when it comes to you. he’s really never said no to you before. “just wait ‘til tomorrow, darlin’! i got a surprise for ya! i promise i’ll be there when ya wake up!” he compromises, his sweet smile enough to rid you of your disappointment.

“hmm… ho’kay, if you say so…” you shrug, “you should get home then. it’s dangerous to walk home at midnight, y’know?”

at your warning, nanase nods. “yep! i know! but, i can handle myself, don’tcha even worry, baby!” he gives you a final goodbye kiss.

you frown as he starts to move off of you. “alright, i’ll see you tomorrow, niji… i love yaaa….” and he stands up, leaving you alone in your bed. “i’ll text ya when i get home. i love ya too!” he waves goodbye before finally leaving your house.

you look out your window, and see him walk to his house, which is quite literally, just across from you’s. you see him standing on the grass, taking out his phone. and, you receive a notification from nanase.

niji 💗: im home!!!! ill see u tomorrow ily 😣

you laugh at the notification and text back.

hehehe i see u rn. ilyt 💗

at your text, nanase looks at your house accusingly, looking up to what he estimated to be your bedroom window, and waves hello, hoping you see him. and though he can’t see it, you wave back.

after making sure he makes it into his house, you fall back into bed, excited for tomorrow and for what surprise your boyfriend may have planned for you. your excitement is so evident, that you just pass out on your bed. you don’t even realize you’ve fallen asleep.

it isn’t until you wake up that you’ve realized. nanase’s face hovering your’s, and everything. “mornin’ darlin’! time to wake up!” and, you’re more than startled when you wake up.

“niji..?!” you yell out, almost accidentally punching him. thank the heavens that you didn’t. your heart rate spikes up, before slowly crawling it’s way down. and, as you finally process everything, you check the time.

11:30.

you sit up, and notice a large box sitting on the floor beside your bed. “what’s that?” you ask him, pointing to the large box. “oh, this? this is yer surprise!” he proudly boasts, picking it up and placing it in your lap. “open it, why don’tcha?!” he excitedly encourages, his blunt fingernails tapping on the cardboard box.

you do as instructed, and open to see a beautifully decorated cake. frosted in a baby shade of your favorite color, the edges are piped with white frosting using an open star piping tip— white, purple, and pink iridescent beaded sprinkles cover the top, and a hastily written “happy birthday, princess” fills the empty space.

you frown with endearment and sincere gratitude, as you try to hold back the tears in your eyes. and, you can feel your heart ‘flutter’ at his actions, as he’d say it. nanase notices your expression, and frowns. “wh…what? ya don’t like it..?”

“no, no..! i love it! it’s perfect!” you quickly move to correct him. and nanase smiles, relieved that you love it. “whew! i took a train allllll the way to kyoto, so that hiori could’a helped me out! i’m glad you like it!”

huh. so, that’s why he was gone without notice after school two days ago.

you laugh at his silliness, and kiss him. “thank you, niji… you don’t have an idea how much this means to me…” you hum against his lips. his eyebrows raise in interest, and he responds, “uh-huh? you’ve got no idea how much you mean to me, darlin’…”

, and your heart sky rockets.

into the moon. you can’t believe how unbelievably lucky you got to meet nanase, much less date him.

both of your hands move to the sides of his face, and pull him in for a kiss, careful not to ruin the cake sitting on your lap. he gratefully accepts the kiss, and returns it in full.

when you finally pull away, your forehead rests on his, covered by his headband. “i love you.” you mutter against his lips. but those three words hold so much more than just their definitions— they carry words of gratitude for always staying by your side, apologies for when you were too much and over-emotional, words of longing to express how you want to stay with him forever; all of it.

“i love ya too, dear.” he smiles back. this was what you loved about nanase.

no matter what would happen, you knew he’d always come through for you.