#ill be active here soon but mostly im over here

[iouinotes]

Beautiful Boy | Alex Walter

pairing: Alex Walter x female!reader

show: My life with the Walter Boys

warnings: mostly fluff and love confessions, but a bit of implied sexual activities

word count: 4,6k

summary: You are completely in love with your best friend. When the chance is given, you decide to finally take it and show your love.

a/n: The story will mention a review from the past, where they play truth or dare. So, I was inspired to write that scenario: match made in heaven is here!

He's everything I ever wished for. It´s silly, thinking about it, really. My ongoing crush for him since the first time I met him all these years ago.

It was during the first day after the winter holiday. It was dark outside, very cold and rainy weather. Well, unfortunately it did not look like that in the morning, so I instantly panicked after school, because I forgot to bring my jacket. Normally one of my friends picked me up after school and drove me home, but she was sick today and I heard about her being ill, last minute.

So now I´m standing in the hallway, debating if I should better start to go to the bus station (probably getting soaked) or if I just walk to the school library, hoping that the weather cools down. I was drowning in my own thoughts, when I first heard his voice.

"Are you okay?" The second my eyes landed on him, I was gone for good. Because the boy in front of me was utterly beautiful. Handsome round face, freckles, warm brown eyes and a shy smile. One look at him and I fell in love with his beauty. Little did I know, I would soon fall head over heals for his personality or the way his voice sounds when he is making fun of me, because I believe in love at first sight. How could I not, when I have met him?

He was very caring the first time we met. Even though I was embarrassed of my situation, he made me feel comfortable. When I told him about my difficulty, he instantly helped me out. He told me, that his brother also picked him up from school every day, so it wouldnt be a problem, if I came along. Not only this sweet gesture made me speechless, it was also the way he stripped out of his jacket and gave it to me without hesitation, when we went outside and he saw that I didnt bring a jacket.

"What? No, I can´t-" I tried to argue, but one blink of his lashes, one look at his eyes, was enough to keep me occupied. "My mom would kill me, if I didnt. It´s okay, I dont mind." He really was the sweetest. His jacket kept in fact, keep me warm. And it also smelled like him, thats what made me blush in the end. I didnt know, if he noticed me looking at him from time to time (but then again, he nowadays didnt noticed it either), but I could not contain myself.

He was a gentleman, shy and adorable. He was all I wished for in a guy. When his brother - who I idetified as the most popular guy of our school- Cole, came in sight, only then it clicked. The boy in front of me, with his nervous smile, was Alex Walter.

When the car parked and the headlights were visible in the rain, we quickly ran to the blue vehicle. His brother didnt talk much, so the car ride was mostly quiet, my eyes were out the window and my thoughts were on Alex previous gesture of holding the door open for me. He didnt intend for me to fall in love with him, but I couldnt think of anything else to do, better than exactly that.

"I didnt get your name?" was all he said, when the car stopped in front of my house. "Oh right, sorry. Im y/n." He smiled again at me and my heart wanted to jump out off my chest. I didnt really notice Cole in the front and his famous "Cole effect". I was all catched up, by the beautiful boy next to me.

"Alex" he shook my hand and it made me giggle. I saw his ears turning pink at my laughter, so I smiled at him, so he knew I wasnt making fun of him. He relaxed then, but much to my dislike the blonde brother spoke up, before I could say something else. "I dont have all day, so are you two done looking at each other or can you go now? I swear, I saw y´all nearly kiss." At that, I was the one who turned red. "Sorry, thanks for the ride and-" as I wanted to strip off the jacket, Alex stopped my movements. "Oh no, you can have it. I mean- it´s still raining outside, I-I dont want you to get sick." Maybe I was already at that exact moment, falling in love with him. I also think, that his words made my cheeks turn a shade of red, that wasnt even on a scala anymore, because it was so high.

"But when do I give it back to you?" The last thing I wanted to do, was crossing a line with the Walter brothers. And maybe I also hoped to see him again. "Tomorrow? I will be in the gaming room in third grade. If thats okay with you?" He spoke quickly, because Cole kept getting more annoyed. "No, its fine. Thank you, Alex." I kissed him on the cheek (dont know where that one came from) and before I could look back, I was already out of the car and running towards the house. When I opened the door and the warmth embraced me, I looked out of the window from my house. The car was already gone, but I remember smiling so bright, I almost could not contain the happy feeling that consumed me.

That was the first time, my diary heard of Alex Walter.

The next day, I searched through three gaming rooms before I finally found him, starring at his laptop. As soon as I tapped him gently on the shoulder, he turned around and looked at me suprised. When he asked me, if I had had any trouble finding him, I said "what no, it took five minutes", when in reality it took 20 minutes, but he sounded really sincere, so it didnt matter.

That was the start of our ever-lasting friendship. We became best friends quickly and are verly close ever since, he is my other half. We are always together, in the hallway, at lunch, we see each other at the weekends and we even got the price "the best of best friends" by our friendgroup. I mean it was funny and its nice, really. But it says everything. We are just friends.

It´s very funny actually, because he knows me better than anyone and I can´t keep one secret from him. He just knows, when something is up. But my biggest secret of all time, that was the part where he was clueless about.

My love for him.

He just doesnt notice and I tried to not show it, but everyone knows I like him. Well, expect for him. When I look at him too long, because I (again) got lost in his eyes or looked a second too long at his lips, while he talked, he thinks he has something on his face. When I compliment him, for literal anything, he thinks I make fun of him, so he doesn't take it seriously. And I tried almost everything, so he could finally notice. Maybe then he could make the first move.

I once talked about my ideal type, because it was a truth or dare on my birthday party and I literally described him - he didnt notice. I swoon on a daily basis over his beauty, his intelligence , his personality, his habits, his cute flaws like staying up all night to play a video game - he doesnt know. I tried to learn his favorite video game, I read the Lord of the Rings saga, I even watched baseball games with him, I do anything so he will notice, how much I care about him. But he just doesn't get it.

If I would know, he simply didnt like me that way, I could somehow cope with that. But then, there are moments, where I would catch him starring at me, where he seems to be the one wanting me. He watches romantic movies with me and lets me cry about it after, when I´m sad about the ending, Sometimes I even get to lay on his chest. He listens when I talk about my newest book obsession, he goes shopping with me, even though he hates it. He helps me studying and I can tell him anything, he´s always there for me.

So it could be, that maybe my feelings were not completely unrequited. But then again, why didnt he made a move by now? Nevertheless, it keeps me awake at night. Because I want nothing more than to kiss his soft lips, feel his skin against mine, to look at his eyes and study every single freckle from his neck to his forehead. I want to love him. In a way, he knows it.

These feelings, these thoughts are constantly in my head. Especially now, when I sit across him and simply look at his concentrated face. His eyebrows are drawn together, he´s currently biting on his bottom lip, his nose scrunched in a frown. The light of his room shows me every little detail of his face. In moments like this, on a friday evening, where we study together for a biology test, I wish he would know how I feel about him. Because it would make everything so much easier.

Its currently raining outside, a remember of our first encounter, the clouds are dark and I hear loud thunder since the last couple of minutes went by. "Do you think, it will get better? The weather clearly looks bad." I shift my gaze to look at him and when I catch him starring at me, my heart swells in my chest.

I want to break the distant between us and close the gap of our lips. Want to get to know every little detail of his body. But as he speaks up, I clear my head. "I dont know, Danny said something about a storm. I honestly didnt know, it would be that bad." He closes his textbook and stands up, looking out the window. ,,Should I go?" My question suprises him. "Now? I think if you take a step outside, you will get swept up by your feet. It´s not safe." He looks at me unwary. "I dont know, I always wanted to fly. Maybe thats a sign." I grin at him and he laughs quietly. "Yeah, of course. Let me ask my dad, what he thinks is for the best. Maybe he can get you an umbrella and you do your best Mary Poppins impression."

~~~~~~

30 minutes later I find myself in a full-on Walter-family-disscussion. "But uncle! I dont get to have girls stay overnight. Thats unfair!" Lee is looking at George, unable to hide his jealousy. "When did a girl ever wanted to stay overnight with you?" Isaac asks from across the table. Lee just ignores him, an angry look in his eyes.

"Look, its nothing that I will allow forever. But right now, she cant go home, so she is welcomed to stay here." I smile at him, thankful that I´m not getting thrown out. "Also, she is like a thirteen family member. She´s practically living here." George added. One look at Alex and I wanted to know what he was thinking. Was I just like a sister to him? "Okay enough of that. Y/n, dear you are welcome to stay the night. We will figure it out. Nathan is staying with Skylar, so his bed is free." I´m glad, Katherine is here. I thank her and George and by the time, we ate dinner and Alex got me a toothbrush, so I could get ready for bed, it was late after 11.

As I make my way back to Alex's room after using the bathroom to change into my clothes, leaving me with shorts and a shirt, Cole is suddenly standing next to me. "Well, what a great opportunity for you." He grins at me. At his comment, I am visible confused. "What do you mean?" I look up to his smiling figure. "You have him all by yourself, of course. Your chance to finally do something. I can´t stand it anymore, you like him and he likes you. I always thought you were the clever one out of you two, so please put everyone out of this misery and kiss him, because he´s a complete idiot. It's long overdue for you two to get together."

His words leave me stunned. After he´s done talking, he makes his way silently back to his own room and I´m still standing in the hallway, trying to process his words. Kiss him. He likes you. Does Alex really likes me or is that some cruel joke for Cole? I hope not. Because my friends have told me several times, that they think, Alex likes me too. But I always thought, they were wrong.

My heart is heavily pounding as I make my way back to his room, taking a deep breath as I open the door. Alex is playing a video game, as always, but I see that he also changed into something more comfortable. It helps me calm down my nerves, when I see him doing something, he always does. I take a few steps towards his chair and his concentrated figure.

I mean, what was there in life, if I didnt take any risks? If he likes me back, it could be the answer to all my dreams and if not - well, the weather was still going pretty bad and could help me out of the awkward situation.

When I decided to test their he-likes-you-too-theory, I quickly came up with a plan. Okay, so I wasnt the best at flirting, that was for sure, but I could make a move. For starters, I wanted something, I often thought about.

As I stand behind him, I trace my fingers along his shoulders, hearing his surprised breath, that he quickly tries to hide. Well too bad, I heard it.

"Alex?" My voice is quiet.

"...yes?" I can see his muscles tense, while I keep touching his shoulders, going lower until I touch his arm. Something about what Cole said, about Alex liking me, gives me a certain confidence, that wasnt there before. Please dont let the King of hooking up be wrong.

"Could I borrow one of your hoodies? I´m freezing and only have my shirt." I try not to think about the possibility that he laughs in my face and says no. But then again, I know that Alex wouldnt do that. "I-uh, yeah. You can, um, grab one out of my closet." I smile to myself, when I see his eyes nervously scanning the display. He paused the game, even though he doesnt look at me while he talks.

"Thanks." As I turn towards his closet, I get the feeling that he´s secretly watching me choose a hoodie. When I get a hold on a dark green one, I immediately know its the one from when we first met. I take it and walk towards the other bed, getting a glimpse of his eyes, that continue to follow me. And then I do something, I thought I would never do in front of him. I change out of my top, the cold air hitting my skin and I hear him gasps.

When I change into his hoodie, a settling warmth embraces me. I smile to myself, a joy blooms in my chest, the feeling of wearing his clothes, makes me feel too good to be true. The shorts I´m wearing are the same ones as before and I think, that I kinda like the casual look. And maybe it looks fine, that could be a good way to get Alex attention. My shorts cover my thighs, but because his hoodie is bigger than what I normally wear, this way it looks like I only wear his hoodie.

When I turn around and fix my hair, he already started another game again. Okay, mission getting-some-sort-of-reaction, is starting to get interesting. "Soo, what do you think? Too big?" I wait for his reaction. When he slowly turns around, one hand holding up his headphones, I see him trying not to stare too hard. But since I see his eyes scanning my body, it´s impossible for him to pretend. I smile to myself.

"And?" I make a step in his direction, watching him swallow. His eyes wander to the floor and a nervous expression crosses his face. "I- I need to finish this game so-" he turns around so fast, I´m almost surprised his neck didnt broke. Shit. That wasnt part of the plan. I glance around the room, trying to come up with something, another way to keep his attention at me. I sit on his bed, near his computer and decide to watch him play. I hear the sound of the game playing in the background, while I continue to think of a way for him to notice me.

And even though I keep my hands to myself, I see him sqirming in his seat. I laugh quietly. "Everything okay?" it seems he isnt that concentrated anymore. "Yeah, uh, are you bored? You never watch me play." His head turns to look at me. "You could teach me some moves." I say, looking at him and then the game, that shows a spider attacking some creature. He raises his eyebrows at my words.

"You sure? I thought you didnt like video games." My eyes wander to his lap as I quickly come up with a plan. "Maybe I will like it, if you show me some tricks. And also, I like you and you´re really interested in gaming, so I thought I could make an effort." His cheeks are blushing, my eyes are starring at his clueless ones.

A smile tucks at his lips, but he tries to keep his cool. "I mean, I´m really good at this, so I could teach you one or two lessons. Where do you want to sit? I only have one gaming chair, but-" he glances around the room, trying to come up with something.

"Well, we could share?" I ask, my voice sounding sincere and not as much thrilled at the idea, to sit in his lap, even though I am freaking out in my thoughts. His eyes widen, when he realizes what I just said.

"You want to-" he doesn't finish his sentence, stuttering at the idea of me sitting on his lap. "If thats okay with you, of course? I think its the best solution, I mean I do want the full experience. So its fair." I see him nervously licking his lips. "Yeah, yeah. I get that. Okay, cool, how do you want to-" I smile at him and his nervous speech. "Just relax, I dont bite. You do know that, right?" I laugh when I see his ears turning pink.

"Right. So uh, come here, I guess?" He puts his arms on the armrests to give me good access and I feel myself getting nervous. God, I never got to be this close to him. I stand up, his eyes take my form in his sweater in, I see him starring at the naked skin. And when I see something shining in his hair, I act without a second thought.

"You have something in your hair, dummy." It's a little paper ball from Benny, probably from the previous dinner (fight), I lean myself down, facing him forward in his lap and cross my legs over his thighs. I don't notice what position we are in until I lean back to show him the piece of paper and suddenly, I'm just a few centimeters from his face. Shocked by the less to no space we have left between us, he doesn't speak and neither do I. We just look at each other.

"i-i got it." The words leave my mouth, the distance between our faces -god his lips look so soft- leaves me speechless. It takes him a moment, but when he answers he sounds just as out of breath as me.

"thanks."

Again, we sit in silence. Suddenly I loose my balance and I almost fall out of the chair, but his arms are quick to catch me. So now, he has his arms around my waist and my arms linger around his shoulders for support. If I would lean closer, I could kiss him.

The thought of kissing him, makes me sqirm and when he lays his hands onto my waist to still my movements, I feel dizzy. Because Im not just sitting on his legs. Indeed, I sit literally on his lap. So when I feel myself getting wet, because he makes me so touch starved, I completely loose my mind.

"Im sorry- i didnt mean to sit that way. I just-" his eyes are so fascinating, brown, green and warm. It feels like he´s looking at my soul. He´s watching my every move. I know I should probably get up, but its the first time, he is that close to me and I cant stop looking at him.

Without a thought in my head, I raise my hand and touch his cheek. I see his lips breaking apart, so he can draw a surprised breath. "You have so many freckles everywhere." My eyes wander around his face. His voice comes back to life for a second, but only to sign. "Too many, actually." I draw my eyebrows together.

"It suits you and it´s not too much. Thats a perfectly fine amount of freckles. Look-" I start to count them. Each and every one. Starting from his ears towards his cheeks, his nose, further down until I stop at his lips. "You have one right above the corner of your mouth." I mutter, my thumb brushes his lips for a second.

Caught, my eyes sneak back to search his gaze. But he just looks at me. My heart feels like it could break any second, if I dont open my mouth to say something.

"You are" I begin to say "so beautiful to me. Every freckle you have, the colour of your eyes, your hair, your lips, your voice, just you."

I cant hold back anymore.

"i-i love you, Alex. I really do. I thought it would just be a crush that would go away, when time goes on, but it hasnt. You´re in every piece of my heart, you hold it together. You are my joy, my laugh, my sadness, you were everything for me, the first second I got to know you. Because you are the best person in my life, my best friend, my other half, my partner in crime, I would bail you out of jail in a heartbeat. Without you, my heart wouldn't beat anymore anyway. Because you make it live. Every day, every time I see you. Maybe if I would have known better, I would have never agreed to take your jacket, the first time we met. If I would have known, how absolutely in love I would get with you, it would have scared me to death. But now? Now I know better than to be away from you, because I better live as your best friend than without having you in my life. Because now, being away from you would be my death."

In one second, I bail my heart out and before I know it, he takes my face in his hands and leans forward. He stops his movement right before our lips touch.

"I think you will be the death of me too, sweetheart."

And with that, he kisses me.

Slow at first, his lips touch mine, so very soft and gentle. I almost think I´m dreaming, because his lips do feel like a dream to me. His hands caress my back and I clutch to his shoulders, afraid the moment will end. His warm hands strive back to my cheeks, tilding my head in a way he can have more access.

And I let him, mainly because I´m too caught up with this emotion and also because I would let him do anything with me. My hands are in his dark hair, gently tugging at his strings, so I get to hear that little breathless sound he makes, that makes my heart flutter.

I sink in his warm embrace, moving my lips with the same rhythm as him, hearing my heartbeat in my ears. His right hand goes to the back of my neck and this action makes me weak in the knees. And he notices it. Gently he breaks apart, leaving me with the want to have more of him and when I open my eyes - I didnt know I closed them - he looks at me, like I´m the sun and he´s the moon, that was away for too long.

"God, you´re so beautiful." His voice is deep, I can hear him catch his breath. His words make my heart ache until I think it isnt able to comprehend his compliment. I feel his lips again, my eyes flutter at the contact. One hand around my hip, holding me steady and the other one, around my neck, making me unsteady.

"alex-" a moan wants to escape me, but I try to hold myself together. His lips leave my mouth and trail further down, finding a spot at the curve of my neck.

"god, yes. Say my name again." I´m pretty sure, I never wanted him more than now.

My hands linger in his hair, I feel his hot breath on my skin and clench my thighs together. He is making me feel all worked up. As his lips leave that spot, I whimper his name, but as soon as his mouth leaves my body, he reconnects with it.

Brushing my hair aside, he kisses me again for a second before he lets go of me. With that, im completely convinced he hates me, the way he´s making me suffer. I hear him quietly laugh, so I slowly open my eyes to watch his face.

"You look drunk on love. Are you alright?" He smiles at me, looking at me, like he didnt just turn my world up site down (and my panties wet, by the way).

"What?" I ask, catching my breath. His skin glows and as I watch every detail of his face (how could I not), I almost miss his next sentence. "I would have never thought that this was your idea of gaming." I feel his shoulders move, when he tries to keep himself from laughing.

I gently smile and roll my eyes. "You are just too handsome for me, to concentrate on anything other than you." His cheeks turn red and there´s a glimmer in his eyes, that makes me feel completed. "So that´s why you have bad grades in math, maybe I shouldnt be sitting next to you then." His joke makes me laugh.

"Well, maybe you can give me some private lessons, so I could improve." At that, he opens his mouth, but no words are said. "Too stunned to speak?" I lean forward, his eyes follow my lips. "You just never flirted with me, its distracting." He looks up.

I just shake my head. One of my hands sneaks around to linger at his cheek. "Oh, trust me. I have. You just never noticed." His eyebrows rise. "Thats a shame. But I guess I have now." He catches my lips.

Yes, he definitely did notice me now.

[skyartworkzzz]

Because you said you love rambeling about lore and you are looking for excuses to talk about it redeem this cupon for one free lore ramble, any topic

OH YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT U JUST DONE

SIT BACK AND RELAX CUZ THE GOATS UNIVERSE HAS BEEN IN MY MIND THE WHOLE WEEK + SOME HEKET RAMBLING Cuz I got her a partner idea hehehe <3

LONG RAMBLING UNDER THE CUT!!! (btw bless chu I appreciate u <3 )

ABOUT CULT OF THE GOAT AU:

About the Purple Crown: Ive been seeing a lot of interpretations of Goat's Crown going around and honestly Id like to put in my cents: I dont think the Crown being purple changes who the owner was, because the eye shape is still the same as Lamb's Which brings me to think that, just like how in COTL everything seems to be colored after warmer/reddish colors, everything in Goat's universe must be following cooler/purpleish palettes What does that mean to me? That ALL the other Crowns are of different colors as well, maybe a colder one compared to their original ones

Im still thinking about what each of them would be here but so far I like to think that Yellow -> Ocean green?? Green -> Blue Blue -> dark pink? Purple -> Cyan/White

I think the Crown shapes would still be the same + what each Bishop's domain would be as well

About Aym and Baal: They were never offered to Narinder. Shamura didnt have that compassion. They were so mad at their brother that they couldnt bring themselves to consider his feelings for being banished. Neither did any of the other siblings, for they wouldve been too busy fighting off Old Gods and hunting for empowerment

So where are Aym and Baal? Theyre alive! With Forneus! And both of them are lil jerks as much as their mother Taught to steal, lie and fight, all in order to survive no matter what. The twins have already expressed wanting to go out and explore the world, but Forneus refuses to let her kids go, much for her own selfish reasons of them being the only things that make her happy in this fcked up world AND because, of course, she loves them. She knows how cruel the world has turned into, she does not want to lose them Aym and Baal never met Narinder, and Narinder never met them Maybe eventually, while Goat is out in a crusade, they shall cross paths........as enemies

About the Purgatory: This is still smtng I am speculating about, but what I have so far: instead of it being MS to tell the Goat to free the Bishops from their deserved-suffering, itd be them asking the deity if such thing was possible, because Narinder wouldve been feeling bad about it He believes that his siblings could change over time, especially now that the Crowns were relinquished by the Goats power, and so they are allowed to have that chance This would unlock many scenarios of the Bishops actively trying to take over the cult, run away or kill the Goat + their followers. It is smtng Ill let cook for a while more

IF ANYTHING Id just- leave them dead lol they wouldnt be redeemable in this world (BUT BECAUSE I LOVE MY SKRUNKLIES EQUALLY ILL TRY TO MAKE IT WORK-)

ABOUT HEKET: Ehehehe I accidentally started shipping her with my follower OC Astrid so we'll see how it goes

Astrid is someone who keeps to herself for the sake of others; she is not used to opening up and oftentimes believes her pain is not worth of complains compared to others she is caring for However, she is very much talkative, maybe as a way to make her forget her problems Whilst Heket she- well. She cant. Talk much it hurts like hell UASHDNJASMDK

SO WE HAVE A TALKATIVE BUBBLY GF WITh her mostly quiet butch wife that shes constantly having to change the bandages of <3

I have a dialogue set up for them which I shall get to drawing a comic for as soon as I am done with thIS CURRENT COMIC-

ANYWAYS thats the ramblings for now, HOPE YALL LIKE THE IDEAS bless u again for givng me a free pass made me rlly happy MWEHE,,!! 💜💜💜

[crushedsweets]

ANSWERING ASKS PT 4?

ok this is like 30+ asks LOL its mostly stuff about me/my art with a little crp sprinkled in im sorry... ill make a post thats actually answering the crp asks with real answers that arent "ILL DO IT EVENTUALLY I SWEAR" lololol

YOURE BOTH SO SWEET i havent been this passionate about smth in so long so hopefully im here for a while... thank u guys for indulging me. it makes me happy to post LOL

with love pls dont call me that buuuut. ninakate. ticciwork. ninatoby. ticcijack. ninajack. notice how its all in the same group...

hiii i dont plan to anytime soon! IF I WERE TO, cody and rouge are probably 'next in line' to being put in my AU, but i have no plans to actually commit to that

omg ok its funny cuz rn i HAVE ONE but its just me in it cuz im too lazy to organize all the bots and verification and whatnot. im also nervous about making a server cuz of some online occurrences that happened after u sent this HAHA so i'm kinda putting it off... but i reblogged tombs server and im sometimes active in there if u wanna join that one!

ffrhrughagahhhh

no ur right theyre such a power couple. i know we joke about toby being useless bf and clocky being badass gf but they're both really cool together.

I FORGOT I MADE THE TWILIGHT COMMENT LMFAAAOOOOOO I NEED i need. i need toby to find a random twilight shirt at a thrift and snag it for kate.

ME TOOOO its so delightful. i have so much fun playing with them like barbies.. making them kiss n whatever. LMFAOOOO so silly but yk

JEFF STANS ARE SO FUNNYYYYYYYYY i like you guys. laughing jack stans scare me but thats cuz that damn clown scares me... nothing that yall have done. youre just braver than me. LOL

i will not do this...

no literally its really bad. i hold horrible grudges BAHAHA but im working on it. im getting over my purple beef

omg. i listened to it and that was really cool. i like that thank u sm for sharing

IDK WHAT POST UR REFERING TO BUT YOURE RIGHT. LMAOOOOO

IM SORRYYYY im so sorry. i feel like this fandom is so small and most of the fans dont really ship in general so it suuuucks shipping here.. but i love them..

oh my god i need to i keep forgetting. the nina art i jus tposted of her holding th eknife was kinda.. kinda referencing her behaviors..

i do too!!! ive been neglecting them so bad im so sorry..

like the IEPFB tea party scene

I NEVER DID IT ANON IM SO SORRY IM GOING TO HELL

is this a song

i have not! i havent read alot of stories actually... i kinda like doing my own thing with them HAHA

omfg i had a clocknina drawing but i ended up privating but i think i should unprivate it...

ok actually im sorry i just am bad at requests omfg LMFAOO IM SORRY im so focused on nina ... forgive me...

THANK YOUUUU youre very sweet i appreciate you!!! <3

YEAH he's...one of the more tragic people. 100%. all loss

WHAT IS LIUJONJACK LOL WHOS JON??? ALSO LIUOTPS IS FUNNY

wdym ? !

LMFAOOOOO HEY ITS NOT A BAD COMBO THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A NINAKATE SHIPPER........

THANK YOU CUPCAKE i really like nina.. or my version i gues si dunno.. i like everyone else's nina too. i like this nina we got going on together

ok i keep grouping these together but also making them seperate im so bad at organizing these asks but HAHA I LOVE THEM TOO i swear ill try to get some ticciwork stuff out soon!!! my spring semester is almost over so hopefullyyy..

this is how you know i suck ass cuz this was christmas time and im replying NOW. im so sorry. i initially planned to draw them hanging around a tree but i didnt get around to it then got embarassed and never replied.... but i agree it would have been cute. ha di notfailed. LOL

[ifuckingloveryoshu]

have you seen this fan mv for ryōshū? it's absolutely gorgeous and tore my heart out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NR993znfi-0

anyways: i am so hyped and also scared for canto ix... i have so many horrible headcanons and theories about what could be the truth and i'm pretty sure whatever pm comes up with is going to devastate me even worse

Id love to hear your horrible head cannons and theories! I'm very curious! Just say if you don't want me to comment on them or if I do, ill be nice. No judging too critically here if it's explicitly not wanted.

I love that video. I had a break down because of that video before. A friend sent it to me and then I chucked it into my music playlist. While I was working on something, I suddenly hear the song play and then I had to stop everything I was doing.

That was the start of last month, I was curled up and crying. I am personally too emotional because from the the title alone, that how mourning feels, at least in my life. "condolences, and then life goes on" and that needs to be bottled in. Busisness as usual. I have't experinced a lot of physical actual deaths of people. What i've expericed were deaths of relationships in the sense but it would feel unsympathetic to relate those to actual live people death.

This song is an active cogno-hazard to my head. If I ever play this whole video while watching it in its entirety, I will distort every time without fail.

I get personal under the cut talking about a recent death experince this year. Not related to Ryoshu. Again, thank you so much for the ask! I am also horrified for for canto ix once it happens.

The only time in my life that my perspective on mourning and death was altered a little was this spring or summer actually when I went to Florida to see the state of one of my aunts. She was in critical condition already and we knew she needed support. First day was fine, she was just unconcious with a hospital bed in the middle of her house. The past days before, she was fully concious and still talking. So, next day at night, there was an emergency and she was choking I think? Something happened with and her family surrounded her bed. She was quiet until in one second, her body started convulging and her eyes shot wide open, then she stopped moving all together. Her daughter wept and the men solemnly hung their heads. I felt like an outsider but we weren't expecting her to die so soon on our second day there. We were already on the phone with the EMT and it was in the middle of being instructed to get some sort of white box with something to inject. We found out nothing could have saved my aunt because the canser had already been affect her body, whatever was in that box was likely to spare us the abrupt jolt of her body.

Anyways, the days after, I kind of experinced how normal families mourn, and there was a great synchrony in that family even after the death. Maybe it helped that no one was working but they were united even after the death on the days of quickly scrambling to plan a funneral. There was love there and a feeling of keeping united. A meaning to the words "Death can bring people closer together.' right in front of my eyes. But that connection was there before, it was only strenghtened and I was a little jelous for their unspoken trust towards each other.

That connectivity was abscent when either of my grandparents died. They were just dead, we planned the funneral, had the funeral, that was over. Back to living. The lulled on more messured like a legato stanza because the family, even through the death and planning of the funeral stayed connected.

Im being over dramatic because when anyone else in the family dies, mostly my dad's side, its the funneral, eat food, that's all. Condolences, and then life goes on, an impersonal affair but we need to wrap things up.

I swear that and know this will absolutly change my thought process once I experince the death of someone actually close to me. It may happen sooner than I know it, I'm reminded of that every single day for better or for worse. Thank you if you've read this.

[comfybutter]

Answer the prime numbered questions.

oh uh looks like im gonna be here for a lil while. yknow how sm southern bell type voices say uh th h in while real soft like n they put it before the w sound? i kinda like that. yknow itd be real funny if i dont tell ya th question im resondin to so yer just sittin there goin what th hell is she on abt. witch i sppose most a th time anyone listenin to me is already uh thinkin that but yknow. oh uh i hope ya like listenin to me ramble

2. hell i guess it depends on where i am. fer camping i always used matches but fer stuff indoors like uh arson n birthday candles or whatever i usually use a lighter. when i smoke weed its usually just this dumb old lighter i got off one a my friends from college. yknow i wonder how shes holdin up n all. she used to play runescape in class next to me n i would take notes n give em to er n wed do uh projects together n we stayed up til 3 watchin over th garden wall. yknow it was arnd halloween witch is kinda th best time a th year fer us witches cuz now everybody gets how cool we are n stuff. yknow? oh but mostly i just use my hakkero so i guess th answers neither.

3. nope but i know a couple girls who do. alice.

5. oh uh er. my uh eye color. it varies n all. yellow, red, hazel, bluish greenish sorta that one time on th coverr a my own damn grimoire. it gets confusin yknow?

7. well uh when im gettin all dressed up in my witch outfit fer cosplay or going arnd town n stuff i just use bows. turns out if ya tie it well enough it can keep a braid in yer hair just fine

11. extracurricircular activity? like uh, a school thing? hell i dunno. i guess in uni i was in th board games club n id pop in on th chess club cuz one a my friends was real good at it n they were th historian or treasurer or uh whatever th hell kinda fake positions college clubs makes up all th time. used to do marchin band in highschool but tht was smone else yknow? my workplace has one a those ping pong tables which is cool. never actually had smone to play it wth but its th uh thought that counts i guess.

13. three hours ago. its fine i could go steal a cookie from th cafeteria n ill be right as rain. hell i wanted t work tht phrase in smwhere for ya but dunno if that was it. ill it give it another go smtime soon just wait

17. oh uh my left eye cant see unless smths abt 10 centimeters away but my other eyes just kinda mediocre all around, better at farther tho

19. first time i ever got my nails painted it wwas by a friend whose all ther walls were covered in miku posters n other random art they drew. i helped them dye ther hair uh blue or kinda greenish, hell that stuff stunk, we opened a window in th dorm room n all it was fine. oh n they painted my nails this gaudy bright red, hell it was great. n nail polish smells kinda good, when i was growin up my mom had t hide th nail polish cuz id go to th drawer n sniff it. i never rlly opened thm but that drawer smelled great yknow? i havent painted my nails in so damn long n i dont sniff it either so dont uh call DARE on me or whatever. but it messes wth my guitar practice cuz ya cant rly finger pick wth painted nails. thts why in sm a those cosplay photos i got my left nails all painted but just my pinky on th other hand. oh the right hand yea. well uh im not bad at it or anythin so sure id paint yer nails

23. oh i like it! hell its been a bit too cold where i am recently but id just as soon get cold weather than hot. besides im real used to th cold

26. just kinda flyin arnd on broomy at night. that n turnin into a fox so i could cuddle up on smones lap real gentle like n fall asleep

29. oh uh my shower water is usually only a bit warm. yknow when ya take one fer too long or too hot n ya get out pantin n hunched over n ya just need t lie down n drink water n sometimes ya feel like yer gonna pass away or uh out or whatever? yea i hate that so i take em just a bit warm. smtimes cold too but its been so damn cold outside i cant

31. nothin keeps me grounded. you tryin to take my broom? fuck you

37. oh this s one a those weird ones cuz hell im pretty sure ive only been alive like five years or so sfar as i can remember anyhow. all kinda a haze back then. n its not like i kept in touch with anyone from back then. tried to fer a bit but eh. yknow. i guess i got into touhou round ten years ago. so i guess reimu. n marisa a course.

41. i dont drink coffee it makes my leg real restless n i just cant unwind. or it makes me rambly. oh uh, i mean like, real rambly, yknow?

43. my “take” on spicy food? ya mean like, if i like eatin it? i love eatin spicy food. like, uh pepper spicy or chili oil spicy, not ginger or clove spicy. i like ginger n clove but in low amounts. mint gum also kinda sucks.

47. th last message i sent was “SMOOCH SMOOCH SMOOCH SMOOCH SMOOCH SMOOCH SMOOCH SMOOCH SMOOCH SMOOCH SMOOCH SMOOCH” to this one friend who i like a whole lot. you can tell cuz twelve smooches is quite a bit in th long run n all

49. yea i love skippin rocks! thing is smtimes when i find a real good rock t skip i just hold on to it. too perfect t throw into th water like that. that’s how my little rock collection started anyhow, now i keep a rock tht reminds me a my friends, one per friend. i havent sent everyone ther rocks cuz yknow thats kinda weird to hear aint it? hell im pretty sure i aint spposed to be so self-concious, hell im on th verge a breakin character here. scary as all yknow?

[d1s1ntegrated]

sum updates :3

-cannibalism as a metaphor chapter 3 (and 4) are coming so soon i promise!

i've been super busy; my schedule changed, i have a wedding coming up (not for me but i am IN the wedding so. hard times!) and just some regular writer's block keeping me from doing anything productive :( sorry!!

-as for CAAM^^, i've also been pondering changing the plot/AU. im not sure how, but i think im gonna go way off kilter for what id previously drafted.

-i am working dutifully to get my submissions worked on!! i have a few of them as drafts- i just have been absolutely hating everything im writing rn so i keep going back and changing them.

-im doing kinktober and prepping for that as well!

which meaaaanssss..... i'm opening up my submissions (not that they were ever closed but ykwim) for suggestions! i have no hard limits as they will be one-shot/drabble level pieces.

expanding on the above: im doing some pretty hardcore/dead-dove/"weird" topics for these prompts. some days, it'll be simple hurt/comfort, or fluff/smut, but i also have whump, angst, hurt/no comfort, dd:dne, and other strange/disgusting prompts (basically, im experimenting with unconventional fetishes/fantasies. mostly bc im super curious to learn more ab more niche fetishes but also to expand my palette and learn how to write "uncomfortable" scenes).

with all that said: please feel free to leave me submissions for specific fetishes or kinks you'd like to see! again, nothing is off limits (except for coprophilia bc i might actually cry. no hate/shame to anyone who digs that but i, for one, fucking Don't).

-i have been doing my best to keep in touch with u guys, pls be patient! i have a hard time with replies and such, especially here, but don't take it personally if it takes me a hot min to actually get back to yall :,)

i think that's everything for now! thank u all so much for ur patience and i promise, once this week is over, ill be way more active <3 i love u all!

[rouge-the-bat]

GIMME A MOMENT IM STILL EDITING THE POST it accidentally posted before i was done and i dont wanna copy/paste everything onto a new post okay im done editing now lmao 👍

yeah i try to remember to use the read more whenever i realize my posts are getting real long- im sure theres times ive forgotten tho lol. aaand speaking of-

yeah, hopefully its all relatively accurate! ive been trying to learn japanese properly for a while now, but keep dropping off of it, and so have to keep re-learning hiragana as only some of them will have stuck to memory... 😓 SOMEDAY ill finally stay in the habit of learning bit by bit. hopefully fjskhfd

i have been in a creative rut for yeaarss its driving me insane 😭 i have a million ideas but never the energy to actually do any of them.... and making things is my FAVORITE thing to do so its like my brain is ready to explode. but in february i should get my test results... soon soon soon i just need a little more patience and hopefully i dont get told i dont have adhd bc BOY THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG HERE AND I DONT WANT TO HAVE WASTED MONEY ON THIS

god i have time blindness SO FUCKING BAD and have always my entire life. idk when anything happens. everythings a timeless blur in my life. i can never tell how long it takes me to do anything unless i happen to time it. i cant keep track of things unless i put reminders. defintely one of the big reasons why im trying to get an adhd diagnosis. didnt know much about adhd all my life until some years back, where i then realized like 90% of the shit about adhd is what i deal with and was like AH. I SEE.

yeah apparently things coming out in the 90s is the sweet spot for my hyperfixations lol, both of my absolute biggest ones (sonic and yyh) have been in that decade. ill forever be so glad that my gf got me to check yyh out bc BOY HOWDY have i been living off the yyh high nonstop ever since watching it. AND YEAH I HAD TO USE THAT MEME BC THEYRE JUST. LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON. its why they both own my heart <3

i actually have some of my yyh drawings posted over on my art sideblog! mostly sketches, bc thats most of what ive been able to get out for a while now (but hey, something at least!). i wanna get around to drawing a lot more of the chars, but hiei n kurama are def always gonna be the ones i draw the most lol. i gotta draw more of them together (the few sketches ive done of them actually together havent been posted yet bc theyre VERY unfinished), and i gotta do some with yukina and shiori too bc <33 i love them. idc if shiori got like 5 minutes of screentime, THATS MY MOTHER AND I LOVE HER GDI. id also totally be down to see the stuff u make/have made too!

ngl whenever i go between different crochet projects i have to remind myself how different things are done lol. doesnt take me long to get back in the swing of it, but i have yet to get the different crochet types to stick to my memory. luckily short youtube tutorials for individual stitches are aplenty! also tbh i never thought about the single crochet like that lol. probably bc crochet is kinda my "turn my brain off" activity for the most part. just play some music and follow instructions until i got a thing made. i just gotta make sure i dont zone out TOO hard or ill have to recount shit vkdjfkd. no idea how i do with yarn tension since i havent had it like. compared to anything. i think im kinda decent at it? not completely consistent but not bad i think. heres some of the things ive done!

the pink heart was the first thing i ever crocheted, followed i think by the pink rose! (both of which were photographed on top of my girlfriends cat lmao). i had a small candy cane made but said cat had gotten a hold of it and messed it up a bit so... ill have to see if i can salvage it or ill just make another eventually. the yoshi egg i made for my dad for christmas, bc yoshi is his fave mario character (that i stole from him when i was little anytime we played mario party/kart LOL). i made a larger different-patterned heart with white yarn for my mom but i dont seem to have a pic of it, or i cant find it anyways. the openable question-mark block was made for my brother, and the lil white & red stocking was something my mom asked me to make so she could put some candy in it and gift it to someone. the large heart cat plush (which ended up bigger than i expected lol) i made for my girlfriend, based on her cat thats pictured below it in exactly the same pose lol! i THINK thats everything ive made so far... its possible im forgetting something tho (which knowing me, is likely). i also have a small heart-shaped macaron wip that i really gotta get back to that ive mostly followed a pattern for but have done some differing bits to style it how i want (like adding some wavy edging on the hearts, making the cream part have a more diagonal in-out pattern). i have that mostly done, i just need to finish the cream... then sew it together/stuff it!

ough man perfectionism is a bitch... i def know how it is dealing with that shit 😓 it def had the worst hold on me when it comes to writing, which ive gladly gotten a bit better with in the recent years. still struggling to write much tho bc. focus is ALSO a bitch 😒 my brain is my #1 enemy fr. the most ive been able to do is over on my kurama ask blog, but i havent gotten back to it in. a while OTL. rip the asks still sitting in my inbox 😓

HEHE im glad you (and others in the fandom) enjoy my silly yuyu memes! i actually have a SHIT TON more that im wanting to make, i just need to. actually get around to doing them hfkdhfj OH MAN i love that idea. "get [blank]ed idiot" has been a joke me and my girlfriend have been using so much lately when talking to our cats/about stuff happening in games/etc. its really the funniest phrase and it will not leave our brains. so often ill pick up one of our kitties and just say "get picked up idiot." its use is so versatile.

YES YES YES i mention like all the time how hiei is just a cat tbh gksgjdhfk (also hc that kurama gives him "kitten" as a petname hehe) like. ive had cats my whole life and absolutely adore them, and EVERYTHING hiei does is SOOOO fucking cat-like. down to even fucking licking his own wounds. im so glad the fandom generally agrees that hiei Is A Cat and that cats have a natural tendency to like him (like kuwabaras cat/cats lol). hes my cute precious little kitten <3

oh man yeah its gonna be a LOOOONG time til i get around to doing the chapter black arc, even longer til itll get posted lol. i actually need to get some extra storage to keep the frames on bc. Boy It Takes A Lot Of Space. but im crazy and want to be able to keep them instead of deleting as i post bc yyh has REALLY awakened some kinda deep archival-hoarding spirit within me LOL.

yeah im sure once i get to looking around i prob wont have much trouble finding some sites to put the transcript on, but ill be doing the lookin around once im much further into transcripting lol (rn im just at episode 12). and yeah, i was def planning on using the wayback machine!

cool, i appreciate it owo! im always itching to share my yyh stuff i got going on hehe. oh btw, if you want you can see some icons, a couple aesthetic boards, and a stimboard i made over on my kin blog. most of the icons are of kurama, but ive done a few little edits for hiei icons too. oh actually i still need to update with a few of my newer kurama icons :o

yeah tbh hiei feels more high energy in the dance mix dialogues, kinda like when he first showed up and went into his jaganshi form lmao. tho i guess when its audio-only, you cant really have him being the quiet lil bastard off at the edge of the room making just the occasional snide remark lol. but him being a little shit will always make me so happy <3 the yuyu gangs kind of bickering and teasing is my fave, theyre all such lovable dorks. AND LMAO kurama totally would join kuwabara on that. he tries to appear to be such a good guy but hes such a little shit and can never resist fucking with his friends any chance he can get. its the best. AND HIEI SO WOULD HACK A COMPUTER WITH HIS SWORD.... god i love my edgy dumbasses so much <3

YEAH UGH. i love hiei with my whole heart but i wanna kick his ass sometimes. him and yukina give me SO MANY EMOTIONS. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. I JUST WANT THEM TO BE PRECIOUS SIBLINGS TOGETHER FFS. they both deserve that. and hiei would be SUCH a good and sweet brother if he would just let himself actually be one.

ooh, i may check out yugioh eventually! but i also have like, a million things on a list of "maybe check this out eventually," and i usually can only finally check one out if something clicks in my brain and im like I Need To See This Right This Second, so. who knows if/when i may get around to it hckdhfkd

thats totally fair! i know i def have issues finding other peoples fan playlists to my tastes. even if its for a specific theme, i often find myself like... ''wtf i like some of these songs but i already know they dont fit this theme at all???'' or itll be like. a yandere playlist but a lot of the songs are pissed off breakup songs or something like that and its like. those are sorta related but two whole different vibes my guy....

i tend to be very specific with what i add to playlists (even if they get really long) bc they HAVE to have the lyrics really fit the characters to me, or have the energy/style/symbolism hit Just Right. admittedly tho a few of the kurahi choices are def based in my ideas for their kinks 😅 (biting in particular). usually i dont do genre-based picks (aka "this is something this character would listen to") on my character playlists aside from my personal rouge playlist (with some bits of shadow in it). tho im Kinda considering potentially adding a few on my yyh playlist bc theres the band kishidan that im just like *AGGRESIVELY POINTS* YUSUKE AND KUWABARA ENERGY!!!! (i mean hell, even the visual aesthetics for the band are bad boys with retro japanese school uniforms and pompadours. like come ON) and also i REALLY feel like yusuke would love ska music (or more specifically ska punk?) so id love to find something like that thatd fit him to add on... unfortunately tho i havent heard many ska songs yet so i havent found something specific id want to add. ANYWAYS. my yyh playlist has a variety of genres so there might be something u may click with if you do decide to check it out sometime! my tastes in music are pretty varied, though any type of hard rock music tends to be my favorite, and that defintely reflects on my playlists. tbh if ud want, i could try picking out a few from my playlist for you to check out? either ones i particularly think are especially really fitting for characters, or certain genres youd want to hear or smthn.

i always love getting recommendations for songs that fit characters!! OH MAN i REALLY like tears of pearls for kurahi... i may likely add that to my playlist 👀 usually i like to sit on songs for a bit tho before adding them, gotta let it get a good simmer in my mind. i def hc hiei makes hiruiseki stones (and have a LOT of thoughts about that) (and yeah yukina is SOOO aroace. i hc both her and hiei as very demi- basically fully aroace but with just one exception for them each. which is something i very relate to in regards to my asexuality- tho thats for two fictional characters (shadow and hiei) lol. i go into my thoughts on hiei n yukinas aspec-ness on this post) oo turn back the clocks story about being longer lived than humans would work SO well for kurama, but i think the lyrics are a little too non-specific to his situation for me to fully vibe with (im real picky about imagery, so it being so descriptive about a blonde little girl growing up instead of something i could apply to his mother or human friends makes it not click right as a kurama song for me personally). (ALSO 😭 noo yukina has dealt with enough) OMG kiss by a rose for a hiei-pov kurahi song is SO SWEET.... 🥺🥺 another contender for my playlist <33 OH YES YES YES FUCKED UP OBSESSION SONG THATS KURAHIII BAYBEEEE the horror of my love ALSO a big chance of being added. n tho i can see it, no spill blood doesnt really click as a kurama song for me tbh, but it is a fun one! ohhhh i do like no one lives forever for yusuke... maybe thats one of the ska punk songs ive been needing for him! dead mans party seems fun for him too, may potentially even add it for a yusuke & botan song- i wish she kept her more playful side about death and general dark humor from the beginning throughout the show, so i like to portray her keeping that aspect of her personality. OH I LOOVE I WILL NEVER DIE FOR KURAMA YESSS thank you SO much for these recommends these are such good picks and im probably taking most of them hehe. if you want to recommend any more sometime im totally down! and dw about genre or whatever, i may have certain things i listen to much more often, but theres VERY few things i completely write off music-wise. none i can even think of atm that i would.

What a small 'net! I saw a reblog of your normalize post, & your avatar caught my eye. So I figured I'd peek at your blog in case you had more shiny stuff to see, & noticed you encourage folks tag you in Kurama & Hiei stuff. I pinned in the back of my head that, after checking out your stuff, I should ask if you want a link to skit translations from the Dance Mix CD—then saw YOU'RE the one who made the beautifully-organized Yu Yu Jukebox! That helped me figure out what CDs I wanted to buy! :D <3

yoo hell yeah!! im glad that helped you out!! its always nice to see the things i make can be useful :3 and nice that my kurama icon is catching the eye of fellow yyh fans hehe!

yu yu hakusho is a huuuge hyperfixation of mine, but my adhd has been making me struggle with focusing on doing the creative stuff i wanna do (like drawing and writing), so ive been instead doing a shit ton of other things revolving around yyh- like collecting the music and making the yu yu jukebox channel, ripping frames to post and organize them on my sideblog @reikai-records , and ive also been working on making a dialogue transcript for the dub (still unsure where to put it online when im done with that tho, atm i just have it on google docs, not too far on it)!

i cant remember if ive encountered translations for the skits of the dance mix cd though, id def love to see that!

[its-me-im-coraline]

Cry Baby // Ethan Torchio // Playist Fic

words // 1244

warnings // angst angst angst, mentions of struggling with mental illnesses but nothing graphic, but also fluffy caring Ethan

pairing // Ethan Torchio x GN!Reader

author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. aghhhh this is the first fic on my little playlist thingy omg and i am excited although this is v angsty oops. If you don't know what this is supposed to be, i have a playlist tagged on my masterlist, you can send in a song from there or an entirely different one and I use that song, the lyrics and the feeling its music gives me to write a fic.

song is cry baby by the neighbourhood

also, maybe im projecting or maybe im affected by fallon carrington singing her wedding vows lol. also the photo of ethan here, sooooo cute

request // nope

summary // Reader has a hard time trusting people. When Ethan comes into their life it get’s worse. Reader is preparing for unavoided heartbreak but Ethan just might change their mind heart.

They were too stuck in their own thoughts for this relationship. Maybe it started at the wrong time or it was the perfect time but they had the wrong mind. They felt like a narcissist, making everything about them, while having a hard time hearing his side.

He was perfect, too perfect to ever be in this relationship, and maybe that thought scared them. Living around people who only cared about themselves, people who never cared how much they hurt Y/N, they were afraid to admit they might be doing the same to him.

They had not been together for long, only a few months, but the man acted as if he knew them forever. He did not care if they knew each other for a month or five, he was not willing to let them suffer alone. There were the two am panic attacks, calling Ethan at that time, waking him from his sleep, crying about the inability to calm their mind and sleep. He never complained. Or the days he spend at their house, Y/N having a hard time getting off bed, the depressive episodes hitting a little too hard; Ethan spend those days rubbing their back, making sure that they were alright.

Maybe that is what drove Y/N to be defensive, maybe their mind was alarmed by the man’s caring behavior -something so unfamiliar yet needed for them- that they felt defensive every time he was around. Maybe they spoke too much, and they thought the man would be scared away from them. “I’m not going away, Y/N, not for a long time, not at all if it’s on my hand,” he’d say after every fight, when Y/N would say yet another thing they did not mean. He was just too perfect.

“I really meant what I said that, Y/N,” he all but whispered to his lover. “I do love you.”

“Don’t say that, Ethan. How do you even know, it’s too soon!” Excuses, excuses, excuses and more excuses to plain and simple sabotage to themselves.

“You just know, when you know, amore, and I do.”

They could not look at his eyes anymore, afraid that with just one glance from the man their tears would fall, their guards would fall. And, if they let the guards fall even for a moment, it made them vulnerable to twice the heartbreak. So their eyes stayed glued to the floor, never leaving or daring to think about looking elsewhere. Every other place felt like a danger zone.

“You don’t have to say it back, amore, but you can not expect me not to.”

The fear never left, the fear that the young man was lying. He could not actually feel that way, could he?

Just as Y/N spiraled into yet another anxiety attack, there he was again with his soothing words and his soft touch on their face, his breath so close and so fresh hitting their face. “I’ve got you, it’s ok, follow my breath baby, come on, you are doing amazing, that’s it…” It did not take long for them to calm down a bit. Maybe it was the fact that a person finally respected their emotions rather than getting offended by them, but they felt safe even if only for a moment. “I’m here, I love you.”

It kept happening, over and over and over again. The man would profess his love but his love was not ready to believe him. It got him exhausted. He did not mind waiting for them to say the words back, he understood their past and their pain and how hard it is to vocalize something you feel. What he did mind was their active refusal to believe him, so it was the time to confront them.

“Hey, Y/N, do you have a moment?” If a single phrase could put their mind in a frenzy it was this one. The words could not form so they simply nodded their head, moving towards the sitting man.

“Look, Y/N, I-”

“If you are to break up with me just do it,” they said, the words leaving their mouth before even getting the chance to be filtered. They did not want to say that, hell they simply did not want Ethan to break up with them, but the fear was impossible to be hidden.

“What?! Amore, are you even listening to yourself?” He was exasperated. How could Y/N possibly think that, even now, after almost a year together. It hurt the man, it hurt him how much they refused to open up but it also hurt him that someone caused that fear to them before.

“I know what is happening, Ethan. I know I am hurting you with my inability to say those stupid words back. I’ve heard what you said to Victoria the other night -I did not mean to (!)-” “Hey, hey, let’s pause for a second there, amore. I’m not breaking up with you, that is not the problem. But, if you really heard what I said to Vic that night you would not be saying what you are,” he paused for a moment, taking a deep breath, holding his lover’s face between his palms, “I’ve told you countless times I love you, and I will never take that back. I know you do, too. You don’t say it but you show it, but my love, the issue is not the words. The issue is you don’t believe me.”

Y/N was left speechless, not knowing what to say to the man besides that he is right. They’ve been having a really hard time believing that they even slightly deserve this love, the love that the Italian drummer in question has given them more than enough of. He was so kind, so caring, so loving that the more the relationship progressed the harder they found it to believe in his words.

“You can’t possibly truly love me, Ethan,” Y/N said calmly, tears in their eyes, mostly from anger, anger targeted at their mind.

“Then why are you even with me, Y/N? Huh? If you don’t believe that why are we together for almost a year now?!” The high volume of his voice was a stark contrast to the soft and collected tone he usually had, but his emotions were starting to take over and it was utterly obvious at this point.

Y/N did not know what to do, being left speechless for the second time in less than two minutes. Their mind raced for an excuse, a reason as to why they kept being with him if they really did not believe him, until the answer came to them and it was like a lightbulb going off: “Because I know that I love you.”

It came out almost as a whisper, as if the words were trying to not be heard. It was a strain of their voice, a sudden sob accompanying the words that broke Ethan’s heart. His love, his sweet, sweet love, the person he could not stop yearning for no matter how close they were… they were hurt, afraid of being loved - or more so afraid of being lied to. Ethan pulled Y/N into his arms, hands rubbing comforting cycles, lips letting the sweetest of nothings to come out.

“It’s ok, it’s alright, I got you, I’m here, I’m holding you, I am not leaving, I love you.”

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11

[chanluster]

hello all 😃

I was gonna post this at midnight on the first day of 2022, but real life is a bitch and in truth i forget things really easily now.

still, as 2021 has ended, i feel as if i had to come out of my hibernation and say a few things about this blog, and its impact.

first of all, i saw my fics hitting new milestones, and i couldn’t even believe that despite me being barely here i receive so much love and appreciation from you people. it means so much, and truly so much, that every single one of you take the time to read my mostly horny ramblings and leave a like, comment, reblog or ask 🥺 to know i am appreciated while i am not here has been one of my greatest achievements.

second, but most importantly, i wanted to mention a few people who have definitely impacted my 2021, and the fics they brought with them.

@mocimori — CHIAAAAA, LOMLLLLL TREASURE OF MY HEART 😭😭😭❤️❤️😭❤️😭😭❤️ you are another ive wronged with my terrible replies but now i see why you complained about uni 😭 that shit SUCKS but ever since you sent in those Paris asks you have managed to make me a complete SIMP of you and every artwork you’ve made of SKZ and genshin makes me wanna like retweet reblog bookmark comment subscribe EVERYTHING !!! you’re so insanely talented and to top it off you are literally one of the nicest people I’ve ever met????? pls pls forgive me for never replying and pls let’s write that anti hero! skz fic we are not doing it justice w all those theories we had 💀💀 i love you so so much and i hope you’re doing amazing ☹️❤️

@bruh-changbin — oh my fucking god . SKY. My Bitch. My Love. the few crackers i will love and appreciate in my life 🥶 no but seriously you are one of tumblrs few treasures I’ve experienced and this is a big one cause tumblr fucking SUCKS 😭😭 you’ve become such an important person to me and despite u sending me terrible #girlboss memes ur every tiktok, random traumatic moments of your life and twilight memes send me off the edge 😭 thank you for being a funny sexy mf and i promise ill watch twilight soon I PROMISE 💀❤️❤️ ps. pls reply to my tiktoks i want attention 🙄🙄

to lysol — @soobmint @honeyju @hyuckworld (+ all ur other personalities on tumblr 😻) — you fucking three holy shit i hate you all so much because now im obsessed with three stupid americans from across the world who i have never met but would give my kidneys for 😐😐😐 but seriously you three are the reason i haven’t given up on writing ☹️ you guys encouraging me, our constant borderline racially motivated bullying (call me currymuncher one more time alice addy 😐) and just being unforgivably yourselves have become such a comfort to me, and I genuinely wouldn’t know what I would do without you all. Thank you for being in my life. I actually mean it this time 🙄❤️❤️ (no but really i love you so much y’all are the reason for my attachment issues)

special mentions to @healinghyunjin @scxrlettwxtches @aliceu !! i know i never reply and am so so so dead on here but i promise y’all be living in my head rent free !! all of your fics are the reason i have faith in stayblr cause imma be honest with yall stayblr has a draught in good fics💀

now i know i don’t have an abundance of friends or mutuals on here, but the people ive mentioned here, and my readers and supporters are the reason ive given myself a small belief that I can do something with writing. university is being a pain, i am tired, but you all give me strength to hopefully become active again.

i apologise if all of this sounds a bit random and all over the place, but that’s because it’s midnight and i feel like im about to pass out — a mf needs her sleep 💀 anyway, i hope you all have an amazing 2022, and please stay safe ❤️

[schimmelspore]

i got

the tea

first of all, my job interview went fine. it was pure chaos, because thankfully, the interviewer was just as mushy brained as i was. looks good, but im not sure yet.

now back to your scheduled program

our uncle and nephew duo consisting of the administor and janitor of this house, came to look at the apartment when i was out today.

i got a call from my neighbor (gonna call her dog neighbor) and she told me that apparently homeboy-pissbaby told the landlord guys that his (ex-) gf is at fault for everything. apparently hes good at it and they would have believed it, if i hadnt shot them short updates the night before to prepare them in case homeboy-pissbaby got.. well, pissed. after all, his (ex-)gf just took all her shit and the baby and dipped.

thankfully they knew what had happened and just let him talk his bullshit. ill probably meet up with one of them over coffee in the coming days and get the full story then.

they gave him a week to repair the damages in the apartment or they would put in the first steps to evict him. i think i mentioned it before, but homeboy-pissbaby had been in trouble with them before. mostly over money.

and usually i would be on his side when it comes to looking at eviction, but that ship as sailed.

im not a fan of landlords in general, but since we live in this system, we gotta work the system to make the best of it. so i build a very friendly basis with the guys taking care of our house matters. they are just employees and are actually easy to work with and willing to twist things in my favor. i also build a strong sense of helping hands among the tenants of this house. because i believe that thats how it should be.

now here comes homeboy-pissbaby and presents himself as an active danger and a guy who damages the house we all live in. who is very angry with me. and people who beat up walls quickly escalate to beating humans. the police had been here because he threw hands with a friend of his. so the barrier is already thin as fucking paper.

i want that man out of here. he needs help and he should be provided with help. but he has to accept that and seek that out himself. i sure as fuck will not help him again. not like he would ask me now lol but he fucked up his welcome among the whole house.

i hope he pisses off soon.

my brother is worried i might be in danger here and that i should move out. but genuinely, im not the problem, every other neighbor ranges from mild annoyance to absolute delight. his house works well together and i like living here. if someone thinks he can come here and fuck up all the work that ive done, i wont lift a finger to help him to stay. i want the whole house safe.

also doggy update: i will be dog sitting joker on friday and im a little excited for chilling with a huge huge dog. also he looks so relaxed now and actually sleeps well. he got to move and see the world in the light of day and dog neighbor told me that he bloomed like a fucking flower. im so happy for him.

Might have to give a full storytime on what the fuck went down that i have a mother and her 3 days old kid sleeping in my living room after i bought her a train Ticket to berlin

[relaxxattack]

(i dont care to do c! tags bc theres. so many characters. if i dont say cc! then im talking abt the characters) normally i am not one to think much about the syndicate bc outside of ranboo being there to protect tubbo the syndicate Frustrates me a bit but. if phil starts to realize just how fucked over tubbo got by schlatt being erased from the narrative (and especially how shittily techno has treated tubbo) then i really hope they lean into like. the fact that the syndicate may soon turn into phil, niki, ranboo, and possibly the mystery member (im including mystery member mostly because i think tubbo is on good terms with almost everyone except like. dream, possibly wilbur but we'll see, and like the eggpire ppl but none of them are likely options but it is possible that the mystery member could just be neutral) all like. wanting tubbo to be safe and phil is *just* reasonable enough that i think he'd realize how unfair it is for tubbo to have been subjected to so much shit just for techno to introduce even more fear and the need to hide in his life

like phil already keeps the bee duo marriage and michael a secret, he lets tubbo come over and while of course its mostly from the semi lore vibes phil seems vaguely fond of tubbo already (i dont think phil and tubbo have father/son vibes tho, more just like. tubbo is just That Kid that adults cant help but adore even though the kid will rob them of house and home. slightly amused elder watching a tiny fucking gremlin make sex jokes and talk about soviet russia), niki from what i remember still cares about tubbo (probably because she cant redirect any anger towards him without realizing how unjustified it would be kcnsks she can come up with excuses for hating tommy but tubbo didnt do anything that niki has a problem with outside of her maybe having a bad view on butcher army if she knows about it?), ranboo is. ranboo. i dont need to clarify. and then like said theres a very low possibility of the fifth member *disliking* tubbo or being unable to sympathize with him.

people talk a lot about how techno needs to lose in a way that he cant easily come back from without introspection and i think while the rest of the syndicate standing up for tubbo would increase technos grudge against tubbo initially its also like. something that i think would maybe force techno to see tubbo as a person because now theres nothing techno can box (haha gettit. tubbox tubbo in a box tubbo getting boxed into certain roles by people who refuse to let him out techno esp doin this teehoo) tubbo into that wouldnt just. acknowledge that tubbo is a person. hes not apart of the government anymore, not planning any failed revolution, the most negative title to his name is being one of the nuke makers but even then thats out of fear and safety and techno knows that. otherwise tubbos current crimes are nothing thats special to tubbo (like. stealing and searching for evidence in ppls homes and stuff, the latter of which techno doesnr even know about). right now tubbos a husband, a father, a friend, a kid, *ex*-government, a person. and just.

i think that with how much foreshadowing about tubbos execution no longer being a secret amongst the witnesses and tubbo himself and soon being something that people close to techno like phil and ranboo know about as well (in that i want phil to learn that techno did it and for ranboo to learn about it in general bc hes just biased enough for tubbo and just smart enough that i think even if somehow he wasnt told who did it he could figure it out), and with the fact that tubbos lore has been confirmed to now be something thats actively going to be played into? i think (or at least hope) that it might spur phil and techno into finally seeing tubbos side of the story (and probably also get into the possibility of tubbo opening up to tommy and ranboo but i do think realistically either tubbo will try to play it off/not truly open up about how much its effected him or tubbo will at first shut down or go into complete repression mode, especially if phil and ranboo get the story from other people rather than tubbo himself [but god do i hope they confront tubbo himself]. either those two or tubbo talks about his emotions through fucking snapping at something/someone like he did at quackity when reminded of his execution, which as long as its Not tommy or ranboo ill absolutely be cheering on him for)

which is all a very convoluted way of saying uhh. *grabby paws at the ccs currently involved in the arc of clearing up personal misconceptions about l'manberg (and especially tubbos involvement and how easily those around him judged him based off of their versions of the story)* tubbo lore? tubbo healing tubbo talking about his problems? characters learning to see him as a person and recognizing how traumatized he is and that hes not uneffected but actively repressing any effects? please? (also ending note as the cherry on top of this essay that im sorry for dropping into your inbox: im kind of glad that tommys healing arc and tubbos possible healing arc are going to happen at similar times but are still separate. something something its nice to see acknowledgement that tommy and tubbo wont heal in the same way and arent going to know how to help each other but theyre still going through it together. their arcs are intertwining without removing their individuality and as someone w major co-dependency issues its kind of nice idk. you can be there for someone and still acknowledge that you have your own things to go through too and that while you wont be alone you shouldnt force those around you to support you. the bench trio are all helping each other out of free will and genuine love for each other while still realizing they have some problems they arent ready to talk about yet that arent forced to the open because theyre all doing their best to handle each other with care and i just. bench trio my beloveds. the kids are alright.) -🎭🎪 (also as the actual end note if theres ever a need to refer to me as something other than the emojis mask or eyez works fine but the idea of my name being the emojis is also Very Funny to me so do what you will)

im working on my aperture camera college assignment rn and my brain is sort of fried so i dont have an intelligent answer, but i got the happy chemical reading this.

yeah. i think we all know here that my favorite character is tubbo, and i REALLY hope we get him addressing anything that’s happened to him in canon. pretty much all of what you said sounds very good. *grabby hands* spare tubbo lore? please? spare tubbo lore?

perhaps during the three weeks wilburs off in the fucking woods (/lh) we could have a the-others-find-out-what-happened-to-tubbo-(and in DETAIL)-arc. pleaseeeeeeeee and ty

[fmdhyojung]

what’s up, everyone! it’s ya girl luna (suji/jaein mun) here with another third muse because yes... i have absolutely no self control!!! this is selene’s youngest, lead vocalist and rapper jung hyojung! though she’s mostly active as an actress outside of her group. call me beep me on d*scord if you want to plot (ask and you shall receive!) or just bug me first through my im’s. you can also just like this post and i’ll come hopping to you! alright, let’s get into this ridiculously long intro!

BACKGROUND

born into a really normal family. dad’s a govt civil worker, mom’s a high school history teacher and her older brother just exists. loving family, they loved having a daughter after a son. her mom’s a history nerd so she names hyojung after a princess and all that jazz. i think that paints her fam pretty well. also, her name is the same backwards as well, and that’s probably how she introduced herself when she first debuted

tw terminal illness mother unfortunately dies from breast cancer around the time hyojung’s six. it’s devastating for the whole family, but hyojung’s dad manages to pull his weight and raise his two kids well as a single father! end of tw

her love for music comes quite early. her dad was always a musician yknow strumming his guitar at home, and her older brother took after him in that sense. hyojung wasn’t as talented in instruments (other than the bass guitar which her brother started and then quit in which she took over) and she mostly took after her mom in having a lovely voice. family music sessions soon became a regular thing, and it all led to her asking to be enrolled at a vocal academy as a hobby

becoming an idol, on the other hand, sort of comes out of the blue for her. gold star media ended up holding in-house auditions at her vocal academy, she tries out and then gets accepted! trains for 9 months and then debuts!!

CAREER.

when she first debuts, she’s given a very standard maknae image to uphold. a little brighter than usual, meant to be cute and sort of childish. it’s not that difficult because she is sixteen, and that’s sort of natural for a sixteen year-old. while it wasn’t completely who she was, putting on a more smiley persona for the cameras wasn’t all that difficult

it only starts getting difficult when she starts growing up. debuting so young, she ends up having to grow up in the eyes of the public and her fans. slowly, she starts to subdue and sit back a little. basically, she settles back to her true personality. she likes to be in the background, stays quiet when she can and just naturally enjoys not being the center of attention

unfortunately, what this results into is people claiming that fame has changed her. a weird claim to make because selene pretty much debuted into fame right away, but that doesn’t really stop antis or the general public or some odd fans from saying that the fame has gotten to her head

it’s a gradual change though and not as dramatic or drastic as some people claim it to be. hyojung simply grew up and matured like any young teenager would but people can’t seem to accept that

the claims only get worse when she gets her first drama role. love in the moolight does quite well and people start recognizing hyojung beyond her own group. this is when ~actress disease~ also starts getting thrown around when talking about hyojung. it’s not a widespread hate train or whatever, but there may be some ex-fans and dedicated general kpop fans who like to say that she’s become different after becoming an actress

she purposely has no big career moves in 2017 because that would have been selene’s contract renewal year. hyojung’s only 23 at this point so she re-signs without thinking through it too much. this life is all she’s really known and she doesn’t know who she is if she’s not selene’s hyojung. the one thing she negotiates is a little more individual activities and freedom in choosing roles

she starts getting to do more. does 2 more modern day dramas that kind of don’t do too well and then the red sleeve happens. this is totally recent, but the drama did super well and definitely boosted her popularity up as well. despite only being her second historical drama, she’s gotten labeled as a historical princess because those are the only dramas of her’s that people remember in the first place...

anyway now she’s sort of stuck in this limbo of like.. trying to find herself twelve years into her career. she doesn’t really know who she is because of the molds that she’s been put into. in the beginning of her career, she was supposed to be the bright and cute maknae. now that she started acting, she’s supposed to be this romantic female lead that people fall in love with. the latter is a lot closer to her usual subdued personality, but that doesn’t mean that it’s 100% her yknow all that jazz

PERSONALITY

i feel like her personalty is... hard to describe. she’s a little softer and less headstrong compared to suji and jaein, but there’s things that she’s passionate about that she won’t back down on?? so she’s like any typical human being, but it’s hard to explain that in words so i’m gonna try to explain it through some specific headcanons/situations and how hyojung would respond

i know selene’s the most senior group in this rp, but hyojung does not know how to act like a senior lol she grew up as the baby of her home and then was the youngest in selene so she’s much more comfortable interacting with people who are older than her. she’s not sure how to respond when juniors come up to her and tell her that selene is their role model like... good for you? 

and it’s not that she doesn’t care... she just genuinely does not know what to say to that in response other than a polite thank you so yeah, i don’t think she’ll make a great personal role model. might even disappoint some fans because she seems haughty or cocky when really, she’s just kind of awkward

the type of person who can comfortably sit in silence even with others around her. she doesn’t find that awkward, but she won’t... flat out ignore anybody around her either. she does polite talk and small talk pretty well, but that’s mostly because of her developed social skills as an idol. if she could, she’d sit in complete silence and just embrace it

this was mentioned back in the career section, but she’s one of those idols who doesn’t know how to be anything but an idol if that makes sense?? it all comes from debuting young and this being the only thing she’s been doing so far in her life. while she got to shed off the maknae image, there’s still a very idol hyojung persona. except, that’s sort of all that exists for her. hyojung doesn’t know who she’d be if she wasn’t an idol (it’s what pushed her to re-sign too), and she’s not sure how to be a ~regular~ person. again, she’s going through a mid-life crisis this far into her career

[weabooweedwitch]

I really hope your pain lessens soon. What you’re going through is very difficult and you have every right to cry, feel angry, and resent the world. Soon this period of feelings will simmer away like a dying flame. It’ll take strength to embrace the world and all of its dark sides, but from what I can tell you’re a very strong person who’s more than capable of it. You are a person with many faucets and great creative energy. I truly appreciate everything you bring to this world, your dedication to art inspires me. Please stay safe<3

Oh gosh and here i thought I was done crying for the night ;u; I feel really shitty for uh well Having A Public Episode, kinda thought i was over having public mental crises on tumblr but, I guess, I dunno how to phrase this without sounding conceited, 'I guess most of you can tell I'm going through a lot of shit right now and hopefully will be mostly okay with the fact I brought up an extremely upsetting subject' but also I just. Feel really bad for making anyone really worried. I wonder if I should delete the posts and asks but also I feel like the conversation around it is important? Does thst make sense. I'm way too obsessed with how you guys probably see me after this, honestly, becuase it isn't like this is the first time I've needed some sort of help. I still feel bad for needing money when I was homeless. People gave money for Allister to get his surgery. And I internalize a lot of guilt whenever I need help and I guess that's part of the trauma i need to work through, somehow.

Anyways it also makes me really happy for you to bring to bring up like my creative hobbies and stuff too. I've been meaning to get back into my writing but I've also been wanting to pick up like, craft skills? Like my work was selling this little activity kits and I bought one for soap making and one for embroidering because I thought they would be fun to learn. And that's kind of something I feel like I should be trying to be pursuing more in my free time is how much I like to make art and create thing and I've kind of. Fallen into a hole a little bit. And I'm honestly starting to wonder if its because I'm forming a really horrible relationship with weed. I basically smoke before any pleasurable activity so I enjoy it more and sometimes I just sit and get so fucked up I wind up getting distracted and doing something else or I like, have to sleep, or, I spend too much time and have to go to work the next day or bed or whatever. And sometimes I say "oh ill smoke or drink before I write so im more inspired and like, yeah, it can help, but its gotten to the point where I refuse to try without and that's obviously. Not normal. I obviously inherited my father's addiction genes 💀💀💀

Wait i somehow circled back to being negative! Key points are im trying to do more things i enjoy even though I've been doing not so great mentally and I do enjoy creating things and sharing things and I hope to do some of that more in the future. Maybe I'll buy some paints and some small canvasses. I liked to paint when I was in the hospital because I didn't own any paints or materials to do so at home so it was fun to experiment and for some reason its like, a fond experience for me despite rhe fact I was in the big house

Oh god did I ever show you the time I like. Deadass painted Prospit and. What was rhe blue place. Either way that fucking dates me so hard. My cringe paintings from my fail childhood 🤣

[mypimpademia]

Bakugo, Todoroki, and Shinso quarantining w black s/o

Bakugo x Todoroki x black!reader x Shinso

TW: Swearing, refers to sexual activities at the end of each of them

Note: Yes, I did do most of this stuff in quarantine. [And they're aged up as always]

BAKUGO

He honestly feels like he's losing his shit

And he probably would if he did have you with him

You guys are staying up all night and watching Wild n Out, Basic to Bougie, 90 Day Fiance, all that shit

And of course Bad Girls Club

He claims he hates 90 Day Fiance and BGC, but he stays watching that shit, even if he has the remote or youre on his phone

His sleep schedule is fucked up

And by fucked up, I mean its a few hours past the old man's bed time

He goes to bed at 1 am now instead of 9 pm

But still wakes up at 9 am

He took a leave on hero work because of covid

He loves his job almost as much as he loves you (aw💖)

But hes not gonna risk his health for it

"Fuck all that bullshit, as much as I love my job, I'm staying my ass in this house. And you are too. I'll be damned if you catch it, especially if its from me."

Yall only go out once a week

He could minimize it to once every other week, but he tried that and it almost drove him crazy

There aren't any exceptions unless there's an emergency

Makes you wear gloves and use a reusable mask that he washes as soon as yall get home

And you get mostly essentials but he'll ask you if you want candy or anything and he'll buy a big box of brownie mix if you like brownies just to hold you over for a while

Also stocks up on meds like pain killers and allergy pills

No fucks given, he will hit up different stores for toilet paper

"WHY ARE ALL THESE FUCKIN IDIOTS TAKING THE TOILET PAPER?? I KNOW DAMN FUCKIN WELL YALL DONT SHIT THAT MUCH, AND HALF OF YALL PROBABLY DONT EVEN WIPE."

Hes gonna experiment with cooking more now that he has time

Writes down all the recipes that work out

Youre his taste tester so you best believe you bouta be eatin good 😌

If you want your hair done he'll order it online unless yall are already out

Hes gonna make sure that you're eating good and feeling okay because these are tough times 🥺

But hes gonna do it in his own way and act like he's not concerned

"Hey idiot, do you wanna pass out? You haven't been drinking water today, I can tell. I'm getting you a full cup, you better drink it all."

"You haven't eaten anything today, I'm making you dinner."

"Your hair is dry, come here so I can help you put oil on it. I keep telling you to take care of it, ill laught at you if you go bald." He wont

Also has you work out with him do you can stay in shape

Libido?

Yessir

Every other day, anywhere (except in public because hes not about to get sick), at anytime

It goes 50/50

Sometimes its just because hes in the mood

Other times hes feeling really soft and wants to show you that he loves you

All in all its a mixture of Bakugo losing his shit and loving you all in one

TODOROKI

He's pretty chill about it

Just super bored

Starts watching BGC, binges Basic to Bougie and 90 Day Fiance

Oddly enough he really enjoys watching Love & Hip Hop????

He finds it interesting

Especially likes Cardis season because its funny and hella memes came out of it

Don't get me wrong tho I aint a Cardi stan but you gotta admit that she's mad funny im a barb at heart tho

His crackhead really comes out over quarantine

He'll start referencing random ass memes

Hes mostly on leave for hero work unless they really need him

In that case he wears a mask and gloves out

When he gets home the first thing he does is reference BGC

"WHATS UP BAD BITCHES"

And thats how you know he's home

Goes to bed at like 1:30 - 2 am

Only because he doesn't want to be passed out if he's needed for hero duties

Goes out every other week

Mainly for basic essentials, but if you want a little extra he'll buy it

Anything else he'll buy online

Also goes to other stores to buy more toilet paper

Figured out that hes really good at crochets

So if you want your hair done he'll order any crochets you want off Amazon and do them for you

Takes care of you and makes sure your doing well all together

"Did you eat today baby?"

"How much water have you had today?"

"Have you been putting oil on your hair?"

Lotsss of cold soba

But he cooks a few other things so that its not the same thing 24/7

Asks Fuyumi for help when he doesn't know how to cook something super well

If you're the type to go to bed hella late, he'll make sure you sleep a full 8 hours

Even if you wake up after 5 he'll ask you to take a nap with him

Has you work out with him every now and then so you can both stay healthy

Not too much libido

He didn't get in the mood like that even before quarantine

Its not every other day like Bakugo though

More like twice a week

Anymore than that and it'll probably be because you needed it rather than him

If its after a mission it'll be slower just so he can show you how much he loves and appreciates you for being someone he can come home to and just being you

If its more spontaneous he'll be slightly rough but still a pretty slow

But it's a lot of crackhead Todoroki and soft Todoroki

SHINSO

He's doing fine

Just more bored than usual

I feel like Shinso likes cartoons so hes rewatching a bunch of childhood cartoons

Steven Universe, Adventure Time, Regular Show, all that good shit

Lotsss of cartoon quotes

Yall are having a pillow fight and he grabs 2 pillows and claps you?

"Cheatin ass bitch."

"Street rules, man." (Regular Show quote for those who don't know)

Please sing the bacon pancake song (Adventure Time) with him while yall make breakfast

He'll be so happy

If you do something stupid hes gonna do a lemon grab (Adventure time) quote

"UNACCEPTABLE"

On leave for hero work

Really doesn't care about getting himself sick unless he gets super sick or dies

But hes not about to get you sick

He'd genuinely rather get himself sick and die than get you sick

Yall go out twice a week

Once to get essentials and another just to get out

I feel like shinso is a decent cook so he'll cook for you

Write down recipes that you like

Also gets some off the internet

Works better with natural hair than braids and crochets

So he'll do slick backs for you and maybe give you a ponytail or something if you ask but he'd rather do 100% natural just because hes better at it and he likes natural black hair

Can also do half wigs

Takes care of you more than himself

So you have to take care of each other

"Did you drink water today, Doll?"

"I did, did you?"

"Did you eat today?"

"No, and you haven't either. What should we eat for lunch?"

"You havent been putting oil on you hair. Do you want me to help you, kitty?"

Small work out sessions

Maybe like 15 min a day

Full body tho because hes too lazy to split up days

Does to bed at like 4 - 6 am

Mostly just watching YouTube and binging cartoons and eating

Insomnia Cookies? (If you dont know, its a cookie place that delivers till 3 am and theyre so good-)

YESSIRRR

Yall gain back any weight you burned off from exercising earlier that day

Pizza, cookies, chicken nuggets, fries, fried chicken, etc.

Basically just a constant sleep over

Libido to the max

Once or twice a day

Nothing public because germs

Normally rough

But every now and then he'll get soft and just tell you how much he loves you and appreciates you

His aftercare for times like that consists of a bubble bath, lots of hugs, food and cartoons😌

[luvargas]

     i think i just saw LUCILA “ LU ” VARGAS ride by on a golf cart . at least i think it was her . after all , CREDIT IN THE STRAIGHT WORLD BY HOLE was blasting on the transistor radio . maybe she was on her way to work , i hear she’s a PERSONAL TRAINER . but she totally could have been on her way to SNEAK IN A SMOKE AT THE GARDEN . guess we’ll never know . you’ll definitely know its her when you see LOOSE AND TANGLED HAND WRAPS , BUTTON BADGES ON VEGAN LEATHER ,  AND HEAR THE SHRILL SOUND OF BICKERING around the country club . let’s just hope she stays off the green after hours or else the sprinklers will get her !

( new muse, messy thoughts, u get the gist. pls know the views of this chara do not reflect my own. the name’s katya, 21, she/her pronouns & im ready 2 party. feel free to hmu wnvr or drop a like to plot n ill com 2 u ! x — oh n pls be a pal n read this quick disclaimer. tysm ! )

BASICS

24 years old

15 april 1997

5′1″ or 1.55m tall

bisexual cis woman, she/her

aries sun, aqua moon, and aqua rising

love languages : quality time & acts of service

BIO POINTS

kid o’ divorce, lived w her ma in chicago til she was 6 then w her dad in highlands til 14 then back to her ma ! 

def a daddys gorl. so used to her white pop’s leniency that livin w her strict latina ma durin her teen yrs was So Not Her Vibe ergo * cue her rebel grrrl phase *

did not finish hs ! left senior yr 2 to go w her “ radically progressive ” college bf to [ insert dev country. ] they broke up after a few mos but she kept at that life for a couple more yrs

seen some places. lived in new countries. done some shit. some good, some sus, but all generally well-intentioned. tis a whole thing but u get the gist, nywy !

lu’s back in da usa by 21. rel w the ma is strained but the pa is chill w stuff, they kept in touch. he said shell get her college fund if she gets her ged so she does !

her dad is v active n stuff so shes just always been v sporty w him. lu turnin 23 w zilch plans worried him so he implored her to get certified as a personal trainer ! n when she did, he called in a few favors w a pal he knows et voilà ! ur hired.

LU AT WORK

shes been workin at the country club fr a little over a yr now. most her clients are influencer-type gals n they luv her bc shes can take rlly cute pics n stuff for content. lu sorta likes some of em n she fakes the rest for the bread. u can bet she clowns all em richies behind their back   

unless she got clients, catch her runnin’ about the club n minglin’ w the other workers. does it annoy mngmt ? yes. n she luvs that. but bc her soon-2-b-karen clients luv her n wont stand for her bein booted, she can milk that impunity

actually knows her shit n lowkey rlly enjoys the work. she picked back up the boxing n tae kwon do she did when she was younger plus she was always in the track team at school. v healthy lifestyle save for her smokin vice n the party moments

PERSONALITY 

passionate ! has lotsa opinions. helluva a drama queen, bit of a loud mouth, argumentative n stubborn but her heart’s in the right place, albeit a lil misguided. comes w the whole activist bit, bitin her tongue just aint it. highkey makes everythin political n smtms gotta realize .,.,. it just aint that deep chief. some say shes needlessly defiant, but maybe thats a in the beholder typa thing ? fingers crossed 4 lu’s sake

fun, fun, fun ! can be real naggy but shes no buzzkill. wannabe anarchist-slash-mutineer who wants 2 stick it 2 the man ! get rowdy go crazy

fight, fight, fight ! goin back to the first bit, she talks big. esp w like ,, men n the whites lol. she can actually walk her threats tho she isnt actually violent. w arguments, she likes to start em but finishin is ... ruff.  also any dare, she wont back down in either doin it or arguin why doin it wld be smth-ist. shes not the sharpest tool ok rip lu

loyal legend ! fr her friends n buds, shell turn a blind eye. pals r the only exception ! truly ride or die n will do errthng 4 em. v much a believer in the power of community n ppl needin ppl or wtvr, yk, all that stuff. shes mouthy but like, she helps ppl 

here’s a brief blurb n a more coherent look into lu as a character

TIDBITS

lu can understand spanish but hers is a bit broken, tis her secret shame shhh

she doesn’t believe in the institution. any institution. u name it, shes got beef

pls dont fact check her she cant hear u

probs lowkey thinks shes better than u bc shes vegan

prefers 2 be called “ lu ” n ny1 who insists on lucila is dead 2 her 

comments abt her not lookin like a pt w her height n frame will result in an earful n a dramatic outburst. it aint worth it chief

watches lotsa sports w her pops. mostly indiv ones. mma, boxing, tennis, track, etc

dont ask me abt her principles n politics, i cant explain em either. v inconsistent n just messy at this point tbh but here’s a lil attempt ig

she drives a 2018 prius n lives in a p nice 1br apt outside the club

her mom’s middle class n her dad is almost upper-middle class. he isnt a member of the club but, like ,,, he cld be if he wanted to lol. he spoils her sm while she hasnt rlly Spoken to her mom besides civility, rip they both stubborn, tis a vargas thing

she is v much in a comfy position money-wise n dsnt hav much Need to hustle but sis does hav a couple of organizations she regularly sends some dough to so thats nice ig

she went fr grassroots activist to a veteran twitter/tumblr/reddit/wtvr ranter n a change.org gofundme petition regular. is it burnout ? is she ok ? honestly who knows

WANTED CONNECTIONS / TAKEN CONNECTIONS

found family ! pals n squad wanted. y’all gotta hav patience or ear plugs to power thru her self-indulgent mini-rants but shell luv ya back tenfold !

carpool buds ? cld be a pal ! or maybe yall had a lil argument or small beef but lu still drives ym bc her pride ? said mother earth first even tho the tension n silly drama is funny 

homies to smoochies ! just sum nsa makin out. cld be pals, cld be flirty, idk, but if u wanna kiss her shes probs ok w that

smoke bud ! just sum1 thats her go-to 2 smoke w on her breaks. knows not to call her out on how its not healthy fr a trainer yada yada she knows ok. let her live

an ex ? idk yet shes not rlly datey but thats out there

crushes ! this bitch hot but does she know how to flirt ? not rlly. watch her fumble

debate club ! aka sum1 she bickers w relentlessly. its valid, sum1 fite her. r u a worker or a club member ? either works. its a whole club bc she can have tons, lu can be hella annoying n testy

clients ! self-explanatory. do they get along tho ? lets find out ! 

( im officially braindead now but if y’all got more ideas or think theres smth lu wld fit just lmk !!! down 4 wtvr, wld luv 2 hash it out w yall <3 ) 

[propertyofwicked]

Your a-z s are so good!! Omg you’re so talented☺️ could you possibly do one for George? We would all love that💕

thank you anons for these requests. im quite busy atm so im sorry if other requests take a while and thank you for being patient with me.

a-z of dating george mackay

a - argue

neither you or george are shouters, instead you go very quiet when something goes wrong or upsets either one of you. george would huff and mumble, until one of you grew the balls to talk through the issue. you’d be sat on the sofa and he’d just come and sit facing you, taking your hands in his and press his lips to them softly. this was his way of saying he was ready to talk.

b - body (his favourite body part of yours)

george loves your lips and your cheeks. he loves watching you talk, how your mouth moves and he loves how effortlessly your voice tumbles out. he loves how your smile grows when you laugh, small dimples forming in your cheeks - it was enough to make him smile with you. he loves to kiss your lips and your cheeks. whether it was a quick peck here and there or when he’d push you up against a wall and kiss you till you couldn’t breathe. he loved to kiss your lips till they went redder and more plump. 

c - care (caring for each other when you’re sick)

when george is ill, he pulls you back into bed anytime you get up, claiming he’s cold and needs your body warmth. whilst you’d comply, you also had stuff you needed to get on with. so you’d sit next to his sleeping figure, trying to quietly type on your laptop or write into your notebook. when you’re ill, george waits on you all day. he’d constantly ask if you needed a drink or food and if you’re being sick, he’ll follow you to the bathroom and hold your hair back. he’d gently rub small circles into your back and carry you back to your bed, when you were too weak to walk alone.

d - dates (what do you guys do?)

being an actor, george loves to take you to the cinema to watch new films that he’d seen about, or heard about at awards nights. sometimes, you’d go and see films that his friends or previous co-workers were in. you’d share popcorn and he’d let you rest your head on his shoulder whilst his arm was wrapped around your shoulders. afterwards, you’d maybe go out for dinner or to a coffee shop, and he’d love to have a discussion with you about the film, what you liked and didn’t, the directing, filming, acting. by the end of the evening, the entire film would’ve been deeply analysed by the two of you and you’d have it no other way.

e - engagements (how he proposed) 

he’d take you out to dinner, to celebrate your birthday or anniversary, and after the meal, you’d take a walk back to your flat or the car. but, then he’d take a diversion and say he just wanted to show you something. next thing you know, you’re standing on the rooftop of the cafe you met, staring up at the stars. whilst you were looking away, he’d get down on his knee and then cough slightly to gain your attention. he had planned a small little speech, which went the window the moment you turned around. he tells you how much he loves you, what he loves about you, what he sees in the future for you two, and you can’t help but say yes. 

f - friends and family (do they like you/him?)

george’s family were initially weary of your relationship. not because they didn’t like you, but because of how long george spent away from home working. they feared you would both end up ending it soon because you couldn’t cope. as soon as they met you, however, they saw how relaxed george was - different to his typically stressed exterior. when he was away, his mum invited you round for dinner, and his sister was similar in age, so you had a lot in common.

your family feared he would be a distraction from your studies, but once they saw your relationship thriving, they had no fears. your dad liked that he was politically aware and into football, whilst your mum liked the fact he was active in feminism (#pussypower)

g - gifts

when george went away for filming, he’d bring you home stuff. they could be really simple, such as local delicacies or fridge magnets. something simple, that was a small reminder of him every time you opened the fridge. 

h - how you met

you met in a cafe. you were sat in the corner, typing away at a script you were working on, nothing official just something that kept you occupied. he happened to take the table next to you and notice you furiously typing away your ideas, jotting down notes in the book next to you. he stood up and walked over to you. 

“um, hi. i’m george.”

“hi?”

he told you about him being an actor, asked what you were working on and then asked to read. he complimented your work, and you gave him your number to “keep him updated and ask for advice”. he made a habit of going back to the cafe every day that he could, just to see you. he’d take a seat opposite you and didn’t mind when the two of you sat in silence. 

i - intimacy (how often are yall getting down)

oh that man may seem innocent, but he will take you any time, any where. when he came home, the first thing he’d do is take you to your bedroom. he’d go slow savouring the moment - similar to how he would be the night before he had to leave. and the morning. and maybe before he got in the taxi. and then maybe he’d send you some suggestive texts. he lead you to toilets at awards shows for a quickie, or just lay you down on the sofa and go to town. 

j - jealousy

when you come to set, some of his male co workers got a little bit close. when you were gone, they’d make jokes to george - he laugh outwardly but inside he was seething. it was easy to feel jealous of people you interacted with when he was away, much as it was for you to be of him working with loads of people, that his character was physically intimate with. however, it didn’t take much for either of you to remind the other of your love ;)

k - kinks

idk if this is a kink but hickies. george loves to litter your neck, chest, stomach and inner thighs with small bruises. he loves seeing a quick flash of the marks whenever your shirt rides up, or your towel exposes a few. he very much loves to mark his territory, as much as likes to see marks you’ve left on him. 

l - long distance

a lot of your relationship had been spent long distance, with him working away for 1917 and then the history of the ned kelly gang. every night, you facetimed, till one of you fell asleep, but you’d mostly just do your usual evening routine, just hundreds of miles apart. you’d cook your dinner at the same time, shower, and then sleep. it felt as if you were together, just through a screen. you were obviously limited to what you could do but there was many things you could do to replace what was physically missing. it didn’t take a massive toll on your relationship, but george found it really hard to see you struggling and knowing he couldn’t be there to help - and vice versa. 

m - moving in

george asked you to move in, over facetime, whilst he was away filming 1917. he said he wanted to come home to your face every evening, and his flat wouldn’t feel like home without you there. his flat was closer to your uni/work place as it was, so even though you were quite early on into your relationship, it was ideal. whilst he was away, you kept the flat in order every time george came home, he damn near welled up at the thought of you being there waiting for him, in difference to the usual cold, empty flat. 

n - nights out 

being a student, you went out a lot with your friends. often when george was away, so he’d be delighted to wake up to barely legible texts from you. when he was home, however, the two of you found yourself going to a local pub with dean and some of your other friends and taking part in the pub quiz or darts. sometimes you’d just watch the game that was on.

o - open with each other

initially, you both found it hard to talk to each other, but as all good people do, he had a catharsis. he broke down, relaying all his stresses onto you, to which you comforted him and talked him through it. he can sense when your bottling it up, and even though you’re not massively open with him naturally, he knows when to ask you to talk, and you do, knowing he will be there to support you.

p - pda

george isn’t a massive fan of pda, but he would hold your hand when you walk through town, and when you accompanied him to award shows, his hand would be firmly stationed on your lower back, his fingers rubbing small circles. he’d press soft, small pecks onto your cheek, or your forehead or sometimes, just the simplest act of raising your hand and kissing your knuckles softly would be enough to comfort you. 

q - questions (what you talk about late at night?)

you talk about your day usually. it’ll start of as being, “i cant sleep” which will then turn into either one of you starting to talk about something funny that happened or just an overview of how your day went. this would go on until you managed to fall asleep, you soft breathing lulling george into his own sleep.

r - reproduction (do you want kids?)

george wants kids, in fact he definitely has notes on his phone of baby names that he wants to bring up with you. however, he respects your decisions and only wants what you want. he lives by “her body, her decision” but it is something he will ask you one night, casually. to which you respond however you feel.

s - surprising (what surprised you about him)

he loves to dance. if a song is playing in the background or on the radio, he’ll stand up and dance. in the kitchen, he’ll take a wooden spoon and sing into it. then take your hand and twirl you around. he loves to slow dance with you under the stars and he loves to rock out with you, with air guitars and all.

t - together (what you do together)

as said before, you watch a lot of films and programmes together. you also write a lot together, carpooling ideas into scripts or stories. his imagination is phenomenal. sometimes, you’d go on road trips, and he’d have control of the aux. he’d play songs to you, to see if you knew them, and he’d serenade you with ABBA non stop. anything you did was made 10x better when you did it together.

u - under the influence (drunk vibes)

drunk george is the softest man alive. he just wants to cuddle and tell you how madly in love he is with you. he’d press kisses all over your face and then pull you in close, to squeeze you tightly. when you’re drunk he loves to watch you get up to your antics, only intervening when it got dangerous or illegal. drunk together was a whole other force to be reckoned with. you’d both be doing stupid stuff until someone else had to step in. drunk you and sober you were both madly in love with george, just sober you was more willing to show absolutely everyone.

v - vacations

george definitely takes you to an island somewhere, like malta. or maybe he’d take you to a greek island. you’d spend the entire time exploring the city or the local markets, soaking up the local atmosphere and the sun. he’d defo get all artsy, taking photos of you from behind as you walked, the sun shining down on you angelically. 

w - wedding

the cutest wedding ever. no cap. outside, in summer. you’d chosen a outside area, like a greenhouse kinda room, surrounded by the most beautiful flowers. the reception was afternoon tea in a little marquee. the next day, you had a family meal, where your two families came together to celebrate the two of you.

x - xray (when he’s hurt)

let’s say he injured himself on the set of 1917. a piece of rubble in the bunker scene fell and trapped on his arm, cutting it wide open. whilst it didn’t put him completely out of working, it did require him to go to hospital for stitches. it happened that you were on set on these days so accompanied the whole way. you held his hand as the nurse gave him stitches, and though he didn’t look scared of the needle, you could tell he was slightly panicking at the size. you walked with him back to the trailer where dean sat waiting, laughing slightly has a pale george sauntered up to him, you pulled into his side.

y - you (a random headcanon) 

imagine that you both innocently take a shower together. “saving water” or something like that. george would spend his time massaging shampoo in your scalp and then brushing his fingers through it as the water washed it out. he’d turn around and you lather him in soap, your hands rubbing his shoulders, tense from a week of working. it wasn’t much but it was the little things that allowed the two of you to wind down at the end of a busy week.

z - zzzzzzzzzzzz’s (sleeping routine)

whilst you wouldn’t admit to being tired, george would watch you as you sat next to him, your eyelids falling heavy and your blinks getting longer and longer. he’d stand up himself, then hold out his hand for you to take. you’d follow him up the stairs and whilst he was brushing his teeth, you’d change into your pyjamas and then you’d swap. as you wander back into the room, george would hold out his arms for you to climb into, your head burying into the crook of his neck. nights like this, it was easier to fall asleep quickly.