#ileftmystomachinmexico

[bananabackinaction-blog]

Excited, not excited.

Well it’s coming... I’ve scheduled LapBand to VSG surgery for January 26, 2019. If you read through the mess that is my other blog, you know that I had LapBand surgery in May of 2010. At the time, I weighed over 320 lbs. I thought that LapBand was the best solution for me because, “Hey... at least they aren’t taking any pieces of me out,” but it turns out that it wasn’t my best decision. After 3 successful years of regular weight loss, my band slipped. I was 168 lbs. at the time and barely holding liquids down, despite the pleas to my doctor to take some of the liquid out of my band. So I had to start all over. My band was emptied, and then slowly filled again. Then it slipped again. And again. After the third attempt, I was deemed “non-functional” and that was it. Now the LapBand just sits inside of me, completely useless. Except for the times when it slips for no reason and makes me vomit so hard I get a headache and see stars in my eyes. I’ve gained every pound back (probably thanks more to vodka then to food). Recently, I’ve started having stabbing sciatic pain. I’m only thirty-fucking-seven years old. I shouldn’t be tired. I shouldn’t get winded at the thought of walking from the car into work. I shouldn’t have to make decisions on doing something fun based on if there will be chair for me to sit in. Time to take action. Tons of research lead me to Dr. Alvarez at Endobariatric just over the border in Piedras Negras, Mexico. Yes... MEXICO. The reason I haven’t done this surgery already is because its too fucking expensive and not covered by insurance. But in Mexico it’s relatively cheap. So it’s done! Booked, paid for! I have a 21-day pre-op “full liquid” diet ahead. Then after surgery it’s 7-days of clear liquid, 14-days of full liquid, 7 days of soft foods, then back to normal. The tough part? NO VODKA... for THREE MONTHS... not looking forward to that part. The liquid diet is a piece of cake compared to that. I’ll have to power through. I’m hoping that you will help with that. Just listen to me bitch and it will make me feel better (I hope). We will see. For now, I’m making a bucket list of the places/foods I want to eat before the liquid diet begins on January 5th. Let’s eat!

[bananabackinaction-blog]

Bucket list ahoy!

If my memory serves me correctly, some foods may make me sick after surgery. With LapBand, I was (eventually) adjusted to the level where beef, pasta, and bread just would not go down. I am pretty sure this will be the case with VSG and if so, there are some things I would like to eat before the surgery. Hence, the bucket list! And before you judge me, I have my reasons for some things on this list. Stay tuned to hear my experiences with each meal. (And yes some dates are skipped because of various holiday events where I will not be able to choose where or what I eat.)

Dec 17 - Fried pork chops, green beans w/ bacon, Kraft mac and cheese

Dec 18 - Homemade chili (for Frito Pie)

Dec 19 - Homemade Chicken and Dumplins

Dec 20 - El Pollo Loco

Dec 21 - Chicken Express

Dec 23 - Jack in the Box

Dec 26 - Maple and Motor

Dec 28 - Wingstop

Dec 29 (Lunch) - Jason’s Deli

Dec 29 (Dinner) - Taco Casa

Dec 30 (Lunch) - Arby’s

Dec 30 (Dinner) - Ribeye steak, creamed broccoli

Dec 31 - Chipotle

Jan 2 - Hooters

Jan 3 - Homemade Cajun Pasta

Jan 4 - Matt’s Rancho Martinez

I’ve planned a “Last Supper” party for myself on January 4th and I think that’s the meal I’m most excited about! Stay tuned!

[bananabackinaction-blog]

Straws...

The doctor recommends not using a straw after surgery and I’ve chosen this simple goal as my first step... or what I thought would be simple. I stopped using straws on December 1st and it has been a journey. I get it though... when you use a straw you drink too much, too fast, and you have the possibility of taking in more air then you should. When I initially gave up the straw, I found myself drinking in more air than usual, which was weird. It made me uncomfortable because, thanks to my piece-of-shit-malfunctioned-LapBand, I cannot express air that goes past my band. It just sits in my stomach until it dissipates or comes out the other end. So basically I’ve had to train myself how to drink without a straw. The first day of no straws, my roommate (John) and I went to Dunkin Donuts to grab breakfast. I ordered a large cold brew coffee and, of course absentmindedly, I grabbed a straw, opened it, put it in my coffee, and brought it up to my lips. I stopped myself right before I took a swig and suddenly realized that I would have to find a different way to drink to-go beverages. We got in the car and I had a second realization that I would not be able to drink while driving unless I sucked the drink out of the hole in the middle of the lid or I took the lid off. Like seriously... I can’t be the only one who has this struggle! I posted on Facebook that the struggle was real and everyone who commented thought I was giving up straws to save the environment and they were posting links to reusable straws, which was hilarious. Yes I know that reusable straws exist, but that’s not why my drink was strawless. It took some getting used to but I think I’ve got the hang of it. I actually recommend it now. I can really tell a difference.