#ikea shopping guide

[beingjellybeans]

Transforming Your Rental: A Guide to Decorating with Freedom

Are you a renter who’s eager to make your apartment feel like home? You’re certainly not alone. Decorating a rental apartment can be both exciting and challenging, especially when you want to personalize your space without making permanent changes. Fortunately, there are rules of thumb that can help you navigate these challenges and turn your rental into a comfortable and stylish sanctuary that…

[endlessthxxghts]

Bend Over

Javier Peña x afab!reader || W/C: 4.8k

Summary: Your dresser craps out on you. Your boyfriend, Javier, comes with you to IKEA to buy a new one. Then, he fucks you on it.

Content/Warnings: I think you know what you guys are getting into based on the summary😗. Reader is able-bodied. Slight implied physical descriptors Javi is taller than reader, and the IKEA dresser is slightly bigger/taller than you (everything else is neutral - no size descriptions - ex. "your form", etc.). Pet names (good girl, querida, cariño, baby, baby girl, mama, mi amor). Implied that reader knows Spanish. A little allusion to our favorite contractor, Joel Miller (blink and you’ll miss it). SMUT 18+ MDNI. Public sexual activity (exhibitionism). Finger fucking. Edging. Slight undertones of BDSM dynamics. Javi’s filthy mouth. Thigh riding. Hickey/marking. P in V unprotected sex. Choking. Breeding kink (I’m not sorry). Cum play. Anal play. Brief pussy licking + rimming. Allusion to further sexual activity. I thiiiink that’s it… let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: HIII I’M BACK! I went to ikea to buy a new dresser. And the thots between @javierpena-inatacvest and I ran wild. So, this was born.👹 Also, I no longer have a tag list, but I teased this story TWICE in some WIP tag games, and a few of you were giving me so much love and wanting me to let you know when this story was posted, so I’m adopting the tag list (at da bottom) one last time to say how much I love you all. 🥹 I’m sorry this took me so long. Thank you so much. I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!!

MASTERLIST || NOTIF BLOG

It was supposed to be just a trip to IKEA. It was supposed to be a productive day of building your dresser and rearranging your room. That is what it was supposed to be. 

How it ended up with you getting your guts rearranged on top of said dresser—you’re not so sure. But, considering this is Javier Peña you’re talking about, maybe you have a slight indication of why your day ended up the way it did. 

It was early this morning when your dresser decided to shit on you; all you did was slide the door open, and it completely pulled off of its hinge. Now, you don’t mind a doorless dresser, it’s modern, you tried to convince yourself, but when you pulled out the second drawer and the wood snapped in half, scattering your panties all over the ground—yeah, okay, it was definitely time for a new one. 

You called your boyfriend after you cleaned up your clothes, and asked if he wanted to come with you on your hunt for the new piece of furniture. Why are you even asking? he scolded as he saddled up into his Jeep and made his way to your place. 

He stepped out of his seat in the driver side, rounding the hood to pull you in for a lengthy kiss as he pulled the passenger side door open for you. “Well, hello to you, too, baby,” you giggle as you break the kiss for a breath of air. He leaves a slap to your ass as he guides you by your hips into the passenger seat. He even buckles you in, stealing one more kiss before you two head off. 

You thought shopping for a new dresser would be simple: get in, choose a sizable one that could fit everything your previous dresser could, and also make sure it matches the rest of your room’s theme. Simple, right? Wrong. As long as Javier was involved, he took his sweet time really studying each option you were pointing out—analyzing it to ensure it wouldn’t crap out on you like your original one did. 

“How long did you have this dresser?” He asked as he was pulling into the IKEA parking lot. 

“Mmm, I don’t know,” you thought, “maybe a few years?”

“A few years?!” Javier asked, exasperated. “Where the hell did you find that fucking thing?”

You let a beat of silence pass before you answered. “...I thrifted it,” you admit weakly. 

Javier puts the car in park, his face in utter shock at what just came out of your mouth. “Querida, what-” he starts. 

You pull him in immediately, shutting him up with your lips against his. It works, of course. “Let’s go?” you ask. 

“Y-yeah, vamos (let’s go),” he says, flustered. 

“Javi, c’mon,” you whine, feeling exhausted after his analysis on your third option since the first two didn’t pass the Peña inspection. “Since when were you a contractor? The first two were perfectly fine, baby, it’s IKEA for crying out loud.”

He scoffs. “Living on the ranch with Pop,” he replies to your sarcastic remark. “You and I are both aware I know my way around some handiwork,” he adds as he looks back to you, a shit-eating grin creeping on his face. 

You want to roll your eyes, but you can’t help the way your body ignites to the suggestion laced in his words. “Pendejo,” you mutter to yourself, fighting the heat from making it to your face. 

You walk around some more while your boyfriend opens every nook and cranny of the wooden frame, but then right as you turn your body, you find it. The dresser. HEMNES. You quickly make your way to it, running your hands along the dark brown surface, crouching down to open up and see how much space is in the drawers—which, it’s very spacious. The drawer itself is taller than your waistline, probably reaching just at your belly button. It’s perfect. “Baby, wait, come here! I think I found one!” You call out. 

Javier follows your voice, intrigued by your excitement—you didn’t show this much enthusiasm with the other ones he was looking at. He rounds the corner and is met with quite a view. You are bending over the top of the dresser, on your tippy toes, trying to feel for the depth of the dresser. He sees you settle your hands at the edges of the top and shake it a little, testing out its durability while also unknowingly wiggling your ass. Fuck me, he thinks. Quickly adjusting his pants, he makes his way to you, situating his body directly against yours as he cages you in. 

“Jav-” you softly gasp, not expecting to feel him. Immediately you’re pulling yourself up, still on your tippy toes, but your back is now flush against his chest. 

“Ay, Dios mío,” he grunts as he whispers in your ear, “Querida, please get up.” His hands are on your hips, pulling you away from the dresser. You turn in his hold, a giggle leaving your throat as you look at his stressed out expression, realizing why his reaction was so pained. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” You ask him quietly. “Saw something you like, huh?” You pull him in by his neck, kissing the side of his mouth before you pull away from him completely. Gesturing to the dresser, you ask, “Does this one pass the inspection, sir?” 

He glares at you before he replies. “Yeah, let’s get this one.”

Your eyebrow quirks up. “You didn’t even look at it.” 

“I saw enough, cariño,” he says gruff, looking at the tag on the display and taking note of which aisle the box will be at. 

You know your man well enough to know when he’s turned on, and that little unintentional stunt you pulled when making sure HEMNES was the right dresser for you—oh, it absolutely sent him over the edge. You decided to let him brew in his own arousal until you checked out your purchase, but the moment you set foot in his car again, you were set on starting something you wanted him to finish. 

“Thank you again for coming with me, baby,” you say as he settles back into the driver seat, your hand taking its seat on his upper thigh. 

The muscle twitches underneath your palm. “Mhm,” he mutters, voice wavering at your contact. Just as Javier puts the car in drive, he’s immediately pushing it back to park because your hand slides higher, closer, to the hardening bulge between his legs. His hips softly buck into your grasp; you take one look at him, and you can see the veins in his neck popping. A victory smile graces your face as his turns into a scowl. “What are you doing?”

You feign as much innocence as possible. “What am I doing? I’m just saying thank you, baby, I can’t tell you thank you?” 

“Right,” he says unconvinced. Your fingers continue to draw little shapes across the strained material of his pants. You go to cup him entirely, but the strength of his hand stops you. 

He releases your hand and gets out of the car, the car still running. He is at your side faster than you can take your own seatbelt off. He’s pulling your door open and giving you no chance for debate, his hand wraps around your jaw and pulls you into a bruising kiss—a messy yet calculated dance of teeth and tongue, and in pulling away he’s biting your bottom lip, pulling the sweetest little desperate whimper from your throat. He clocks the way your hips softly grind into his seat. 

“J-jav,” your voice shakes, “w-what are you doing-”

His grip on your jaw tightens, giving you a little shake as he speaks. “You had your fun, cariño,” he breathes. “My turn now.” 

His hand leaves your face and snakes down the front of your body, unzipping your jeans as you just stare wildly at the sight below you, your breathing erratic as your body anticipates his next move. 

“We- we’re in the fucking parking lot still, Javi!” You whisper yell at him, pissed, even though your body is doing absolutely nothing to stop him. He smirks at that fact. You want this. 

“Guess you’ll just have to keep quiet for me, yeah?” His fingers slip past your jeans, past your underwear, and you’re fucking soaked. His middle and ring finger bypass your clit, circling your entrance to gather the wetness accumulating before he comes back up to circle your throbbing bud. 

“Oh, fuck,” you yelp out, your eyes rolling back and your hips pushing into his hand as you hiss out in the pleasure. At your volume, Javi’s quick to stop his ministrations, cupping your mound and squeezing you as a warning. If the space allowed, you know he would’ve slapped your cunt. This alternative is equally as dizzying. 

“Open your eyes, baby,” he rasps. Your eyes flutter open. “You see all these people, huh? You want them to see you? See my good girl getting finger fucked in broad fucking daylight?”

“F-fuck, Jav” you whimper, much quieter this time, as your eyes land back on your man’s as you try and grind yourself on him. Javi’s fingers find your entrance then, sliding in with ease as a new wave of arousal pours out of you. 

“Oh, you like that idea, don’t you?” His fingers speed up their momentum as he adds his thumb into the mix, hurtling you much closer to your finish line than you anticipated. 

“Baby, I’m c-close, I’m- fuck- I’m gonna cum, Javi, I-” you bring your hand up over your mouth to stifle the sobs that are about to leave your mouth.

“Yeah, baby? Gonna give us a show?” He asks, his breathing just as erratic as yours. All you need is one more little push from his thumb on your clit, and then-

“No!” you cry.

Right as you were about to fall over the edge, Javier completely pulls his fingers out of you, standing up straight as he licks his fingers off. Your hips don’t realize he left you as they buck a few more times, chasing the feeling of what could have been. 

“Baby, please, I was so close,” you heave, your heart rate equivalent to that of a hummingbird. 

Javier leans down into the car, slotting his lips against yours terribly slow; your taste lingers on his tongue. He pulls away. “Sorry, mama,” he whispers. “Only I get to see you fall apart like that.” 

He zips and buttons your pants up, leaving you a stunned, aroused, wet mess as he makes his way back to the driver seat and pulls out of the parking spot, driving back to your place as if nothing even happened. 

The drive home is short, but it feels like the longest drive you’ve ever had to endure. He rests his hand on your thigh the entire time, squeezing you every now and then as his pinky leaves featherlight touches where you need him most. He talks to you during the drive—about what, you honestly have no clue, but it seemed the conversation was enough for him to sustain alone. 

You’re brought out of your daze when his hand grabs your jaw, turning you to look at him. “You okay, baby?” He asks, knowing damn well what’s got your head in the clouds. 

The throbbing between your legs remained consistent—worse, even—on the drive home, so no you’re not fucking okay. You don’t tell him that, though. “Mhm,” you hum, not trusting your vocal cords to string together something coherent. 

He pulls your lips to his—a lingering one, one that has your mind slipping further. Breaking the embrace, he says softly, “Go unlock the door, amor, while I carry the box in, yeah?” 

On wobbly legs, you make your way to your door, missing the hole a few times but eventually the key slides in with ease. You toss them into the bowl on the entryway table, making your way to the kitchen to grab yourself a glass of water to contain yourself until Javier comes inside. 

Apparently, you’re way more distracted than you thought, because one gulp down and he’s behind you—hands on your waist, mouth on your neck. You set the glass down a little harshly, its weight suddenly increasing tenfold with the way he’s on you. 

“Baby,” you whine, your head falling back onto his shoulder. “Please.”

Your boyfriend is turning you around then, turning you to face him, and his mouth is on yours, licking and sucking as his body pushes you up against the fridge, your head landing with a soft thud as his mouth starts to descend down your neck while his fingers work your buttons and zipper for the second time today. 

He’s pulling your bottoms down to your ankles—they’re loose on your form, so they don’t restrict you too much from opening your legs when he slots his thigh in between you, hitting right against your core. 

His lips never leave you, biting and kissing every inch he can reach while his hands find their home at the globe of your asscheeks, securing his grip as he begins a steady pace of your crying pussy back and forth on his clothed thigh. 

“Just like that, cariño, I can feel you fluttering on me already, holy fuck,” he groans as he continues his assault on your chest, leaving pretty bruises all over the valley of your breasts. “Making such a mess, pretty girl,” he mutters into your skin. 

Your hands snake to the curls at the back of his head, yanking them as he brings you back closer and closer to the finish line. He brings his lips back to yours sloppily, one hand leaving your ass to paw at your chest, his fingers rubbing and twisting at your nipples; they harden in his touch.

Your eyes struggle to stay open, his tight jeans providing the yummiest friction against your clit. “I- I’m gonna- please, Jav, I- I need to cum,” you sob. 

His hand at your chest snakes down your body, following the path to your sex. Just as you think he’s about to slip his hands between your legs, his hand changes direction, both hands going up to grip your waist to stop you from moving. His thigh leaves your core, and you’re fighting—your hips chase his muscle, your fingers scrambling to pull him flush against you, but he doesn’t budge. It’s no use. Your high is gone again, painfully forced back to the start line as Javier bends down to grab your panties and work their way back up your legs. 

You’re a heaving mess, tears falling from your eyes as pathetic little protests fall from your lips. 

Exhausted, you sigh and finally blurt out, “Javier Peña, what the fuck are you doing?” 

You can see the faintest shit-eating smirk fall on his face before he mirrors what you did earlier: feign innocence. “Gotta go build your dresser, mi amor.” 

“I can fucking build it later.” 

“But I’m already here. I’ll do it.” 

“Yeah, but your presence is needed elsewhere,” you say, annoyed. You faintly gesture to your sobbing cunt, silenced by your soaked underwear. 

“But if I’m here, I’ll do it, so you don’t have to,” he says, placing a chaste kiss to the side of your mouth. 

“Javi,” you whine, hoping a thousand different ways of are you fucking serious right now translates to him in the tone of your sexual frustration. 

“Just sit pretty for me while I go do it real quick, okay, cariño?” 

Not giving you the chance to respond, he drags you by the wrist to your bedroom, forcing you to get settled in the reading chair you have in there—a prime spot to watch him get all sweaty as he works. Great. 

You wouldn’t have riled him up if you had known this was the kind of torturous game he had in mind. 

Twenty minutes in, and Javier is sweating alright, but it’s not for the reasons you’re thinking. Yeah, it’s a physical strain building this dresser, but this is fucking light work for him. 

No, he’s sweaty, sticky, and disgustingly hot because his dick is at his full potential, throbbing and leaking at everything you put him through—and everything he put himself through, pulling you to the brink of orgasm twice without letting you fully submit to it. He damn near always gets off when you do, and teasing you like this teases him just as much, if not more. 

He’s almost done, he just has one more drawer to put together and slide into place, but he takes a step back and uses his arm to wipe the sweat across his forehead, his breathing heavy during the action. It takes everything in you not to completely melt at what he’s forcing you to witness, a faint whimper escaping you at the sight of him. 

It takes him barely a minute to get the last drawer assembled before he attempts sliding it into place. It goes in with ease at first, but before it can fully shut, the drawer gets stuck, unable to close by an inch. What the fuck, he mutters under his breath, lifting it up and wiggling to see if it’s just a kink inside the railing. Your jaw falls a little open at the vulgarity of his mouth; you are way too wound up and everything he’s doing right now has your pussy doing backflips, somersaults, cartwheels—you name it. She’s very eager. 

Fed up with the drawer, Javier completely opens the drawer and then slams it shut, using his hips to give the drawer a full-force push. The slam of the wood is deafening, but it does nothing to hide the sweet little gasp that comes out of you, his cock twitching at the sound. 

A high-pitched, breathy squeak of an oh fuck leaves your mouth, and Javier turns to check on you. He sees your fingers skating down your front, running your middle and ring finger over your soaked center, your clit’s fire immediately reigniting at the contact. 

“¿Cariño?” He calls, a sternness evident in his tone. You know not to test that tone. Your fingers’ movements pause, your eyes meet his and they’re dark. “What do you think you’re doing?” Jesus fuck, he doesn’t even know if he has the strength to fuck you like he was planning on, the sight of you touching yourself has a fire igniting through every vein in his body. 

Your eyebrows are furrowed, nervousness written all over your face. “I…um, I-” you start. 

“Get up,” he cuts you off. 

“What?” You say softly, your brain already scrambled eggs and unable to register what he just asked of you. 

His singular eyebrow raises as he stalks closer to you, his hard gaze looking down at you as your pussy cries even more at the attention. Now his command registers, and you’ll be damned if you have to make him repeat himself. 

You remove your hand from your center, lifting yourself off your chair. He snags you by your waist, pulling your body flush against his front as he steals the breath from your lungs, your tongues meeting hungrily. You moan into his mouth, your hands slowly wrapping around his neck, but before you can grip his sweet curls, he’s pulling away from you, your surprised gasps blessing his ears as he flips you roughly but with ease towards the direction of your new dresser, already in its place secured against the wall. 

“Javi,” you whimper again for what feels like the millionth time already. 

“Dime qué quieres, cariño,” (tell me what you want) he rasps in your ear, his hands skating down your front and resuming what you so desperately started.

“F-fuck-” you start, “fuck me, Javi, please, please fuck me,” you beg, your heart stuttering as he dips his middle finger into your entrance.

He kisses your temple as your eyes fall shut, a contrastingly sweet gesture for the way he’s about to ruin you right now. 

“Then bend over.” 

Now that sobers you up a little. You start to crane your neck in his direction. “W-what?” But he’s quick to grab your jaw, bringing your eyes back to your dresser. “Go do what you were doing earlier, baby. Bend over that dresser for me,” he says, soft but stern, then he’s taking a step back, letting you get there on your own. 

So hooked on his body heat, you can’t help the shudder that leaves you, but ultimately you’re making your way to your new dresser—picking yourself up on your tippy toes to lean over the top, just like you were doing with the store’s floor model. “L-like this?” You ask, voice trembling in anticipation. You stick your ass out a little extra for good measure. 

You hear his belt buckle before you register his deep grumble. “Yeah, baby,” he tells you, slowly making his way to your backside. “So good for me,” he breathes, his fingers hooking into the hem of your underwear and letting them fall to the ground. You step out of them, knowing his next step is gonna be to nudge your legs further open—and he does, using his foot to nudge both of yours outwards. 

He runs his middle finger through your slick as he lets his jeans fall, your hips push further into his touch, chasing the pleasure you’ve been buzzing for all morning. 

“Baby, please,” he hears escaping your mouth. 

“Nuh uh, baby,” he tuts, “I told you. You had your fun already, it’s my turn.” 

He runs his fingers through your wet seam, properly soaking his digits before he brings his hand to his own arousal, covering himself in your slick. He groans at the feeling. Javier crowds himself behind you, his tip immediately mirroring the path of his fingers. He catches himself against your clit, and he smirks at the wrecked sounds of your heavy breathing. 

He pushes himself into you, slow and steady, getting you comfortable in his size. His fingertips are digging little bruises into your hips—his way of grounding himself from absolutely pummeling into you from the get go. 

You two have been together for quite some while, but Javi knows he’s big. It’s evident in the way you mewl and convulse every time he’s inside of you. Too big to get used to, yet perfect for the slight tinge of pain he knows you love. 

“Baby, please move,” you pant. 

“You sure, cariño?” He says softly, his dominant demeanor fading to make sure you’re alright. 

You reach back to grab onto his hand and drag it up your own body, settling his long digits around the base of your neck. With a squeeze of your hand over his: “Fuck me, Jav, please.” 

At your queue, he’s pushing himself into you entirely. “Yeah, baby?” He snarls. “Want me to fuck you like this?” His hips form a hard pace, your hips digging into the ledge of the dresser. “This what your pretty little pussy wants, huh? What she’s been fucking crying for, baby?”

“Fuck-” you gasp. “Fuck, yes- Javi, yesyesyes! Amor, please,” you wail, your eyes rolling back as the pressure of his fingers on your neck restrict your blood flow, filling your body with a euphoria only he can give you. 

His eyes scan down your body, taking in every inch of you with nothing but pure adoration. The sweetness fades when his eyes zone in on where your two centers meet. He lets out an audible moan at the sight, sending your pussy fluttering at the sound. “Look at you, bebita, fucking creaming on me, holy fuck,” he groans, his cock sliding in and out of you with ease.

“I- I’m close, baby, fuck-” your breath stutters. “Touch me, Jav, I- I need you,” you moan. 

“Shh, I’ve got you, mi amor.” Javi’s hand on your throat leaves you and coasts down your spine, his grip fixing itself on the globe of your ass. 

He reaches down with his thumb to gather some of your slick, dragging it up to your tight, more inexperienced hole. You gasp when you feel it, your ass bucking further into his touch. “Oh, my baby girl likes that? You like your ass being played with, cariño?” He taunts, hooking his thumb inside. “Want to me to fuck you there next time?”

“Fuck- yes- please,” you whimper, your pussy fluttering around him at his words. His other hand snakes to your front and reaches for your clit, drawing tight, calculated circles on you. “Oh, fuck-!” you yell out.

“That’s it, baby, fucking- dámelo, fucking soak me, querida” he forces out between his teeth. Your body twitches in his grasp, knuckles stark white against your dresser, eyes clamped shut as you cry out in the overwhelming pleasure consuming every inch of your body. “Fuck,” he groans, your sounds forcing his balls to pull taut. Javi’s fingers speed up along with his thrusts, hurtling you towards your long-awaited climax. 

It’s overstimulating, him fucking into you so harshly as every nerve ending in your body pops off like fireworks. Yet, you feel the way his cock twitches inside of you, the way his pace stutters for barely a second, and you know he’s close. It’s overstimulating, yes, but you want, no, need him to continue, you need him to chase his own finish line—you need him to root himself so deep inside you, you’ll feel traces of him for months on end. 

“You’re close, I can feel it,” you gasp, building your own rhythm of your hips to help him along. “Need it, baby, need you inside of me,” you pant, your voice desperate. You pull yourself off the dresser and push your back into his chest, both his hands leaving your body to grip onto the darkwood, caging you in. 

“Yeah?” you feel his heavy breath fan across your cheek. “Tell me how fucking’ bad, querida, wanna hear it,” he says, voice strained.

You look back at him as best you can in this angle, your lips ghosting his jaw as the slick sounds of you grow louder. “Need you so bad even plan B can’t help us- God- please cum inside of me, Javier Peña, fucking give it to me,” you beg, your moans echoing the walls and rattling every fibre of his being, pushing his body into a state of pure ecstasy as he begins to empty himself into you. 

“Oh…fuck,” he grunts, his hips coming to a halt as he nearly wheezes through his orgasm. Once the sensitivity calms down, Javi pumps himself in and out of you a few more times for good measure, pushing his load deep inside of you. You can feel the way he slides in with a wet ease, and it makes butterflies in your belly erupt, a small gasp of a giggle, knowing that the soaked sensation isn’t because of solely your own product. 

“Fucking perfect,” he grumbles, slowly pulling himself out of you. He takes a small step back to get a look at your used cunt, puffy and glistening. His mouth literally waters. 

Javi drops to his knees, settling his broad palms on each of your ass cheeks to keep the view of you open for him. Slowly, he leans in, the flat of his tongue running over your delicate pearl through your cum-soaked folds, a mix of you and him blessing each taste bud on his tongue. He hears your breath hitch. 

He brings his tongue back in, collecting up the salty combination, before he’s on you again, mapping out the ring of your puckered muscle before he softly peppers the area in sweet kisses, your rear slightly irritated with his repeated slamming into you. 

He pulls himself away, giving you a moment to turn around; your back is to the dresser now. He places several kisses on your thighs, giving a few more kitten licks to your center before he’s rising to his feet and pulling you in for a deep yet gentle kiss. You can taste both you and him, and it makes your heart want to burst at the seams with warmth. 

“You okay?” He asks softly as his lips break away from yours. 

“Always with you,” you offer bashfully. 

“Good,” he says firmly, kissing the tip of your nose. You hear his hand smack the top of your dresser a few times. “I guess this thing is pretty fucking durable, huh?” 

“Mmmm, maybe. I think it needs to pass one more test,” you tell him. 

His eyebrow quirks up, you can see his mustache twitch, fighting his smirk. “And what test would that be, mi amor?” 

Taking a step back out of his hold, you back up into the dresser again, grabbing onto the ledge and you jump, spreading your legs wide open for him to fit in between. 

You can see the way his eyes flash impossibly darker. He stalks up to you again, his hands squeezing your thighs before he’s back on his knees, his head immediately burying himself in your core. 

Oh, yeah, this dresser passes the test, alright. 

Tagging those who showed interest when I posted the WIP !! @honeyedmiller , @punkshort , @joels-shitty-puns , @bearsbeetsbeskar , @janaispunk , @starry-eyes-love

If you enjoyed this, come check out my masterlist for more or follow my notifs blog @endlessthxxghtsnotifs to get updated on when I post new stories! Much love💚

@pedrostories

[caerbannogmochi]

I'm pretty sure everyone remembers how Dante's clock has been moving over time. BUT, there is now an identifiable pattern to its movements, and its associated with the development of the sinners!

During Cantos 1-3, Dante's role in events is one of a passive observer. Gregor, Rodion, and Sinclair all made it through their cantos without much (if any) advice from Dante, the events of which mostly served to establish where they stood as characters/why they behave in the ways that they do.

Canto 4 was where this formula started to change. Yi Sang needed more out of Dante than the previous sinners; There was a Big Issue from his past that was controlling his future (namely, his entrapment in the past caused by the Hot Mess Involving T-Corp And The Mirror), forcing Dante to take on the role of Emotional Support Clockhead to guide him through the Canto. And at the end of the Canto, two things happened:

Vergilius commented on "the look on [Dante's] face"...

... and the clock moved for the first time.

The next 2 Cantos maintained this level of involvement from Dante: Ishmael needed Dante to help guide her away from her self-destructive obsession (I.E, to find "[her] compass [which] was swallowed by the sea" and choose to start "piercing through the rope that strangled [Captain Ahab] and [Ishmael]", freeing her to move toward the future), and Heathcliff needed Dante to help guide him through effectively communicating how much he loved Catherine/engaging in healthy relationship dynamics. (Seriously: the real antagonist of Canto 6 is communication issues.)

Effectively: Cantos 1, 2, and 3 had Dante doing the equivalent of talking with their respective Sinners as they drove their car down an empty street. Pretty casual, nothing major happened. Cantos 4, 5 and 6 required Dante to give directions, help them figure out where they got lost, convince them to pull over, calm down, and eat SOMETHING to get their blood sugar up before continuing toward their destination. More work, but these Sinners received greater rewards.

With Canto 7, the car was inside an IKEA.

Sinclair had to get the doors open. Faust had to find the car, awkwardly wedged in one of the shortcuts between display sections. Gregor, Rodion, Ishmael, Yi Sang, and Heathcliff had to pull Sancho out of the bunk bed in a completely different section of the store, with Ryoshu and Outis bringing their spoils from the marvelously-priced IKEA food court. Hong Lu had to help guide Sancho through getting the car out of the place it was awkwardly wedged, and Mersault held back the crowd. Dante's task wasn't just emotional support, but guidance. Sancho/Don Quixote needed someone to reassure her that there was a way forward, a something worth pursuing. And Dante did wonderfully.

So, is it a surprise that this canto is where the clock moved again?

Don Quixote (Who, as we learned in this canto, is a bloodfiend, like Vergilius) commented on Dante's expression.

And the clock moved.

BUT BETWEEN THESE TWO EVENTS, DANTE MADE THE CHOICE TO SMILE. "like Don Quixote asked me to".

THEREFORE, it is my conclusion that, between the commentary of lu-is-not-okay on Hong Lu's impending mental breakdown (SPECIFICALLY this post, which is the reason for my diatribe) AND the existence of this pattern of increasingly intensive Sinner rehabilitation efforts, Canto 8 will be the mental health equivalent of trying to get Hong Lu off of the car, which is precariously balanced upside down on a fountain, on the third floor of a shopping mall, while being chased by mall security (read: his family).

And it's going to be awesome.

[zhng96]

𝐁𝐅 𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒 — zb1

↳ pairing: ot9!zb1 x gn!reader

↳ warning: fluff for those w a sweet tooth <3

— 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐈𝐖𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐆

↳ moving you by your waist

- sidewalk rule is something HE LIVES BY

- when you’re blocking his way he’ll gently just grab your waist and beckon you to move UGH

- he is so boyfriend i will die

- he lives for the flustered look on your face EVERY TIME HE DOES IT

- you swear you will never get used to it

- you are walking on the side closer to the street? NOT GNNA HAPPEN UNDER HIS WATCH!

- you’re a little too close to a high ledge? NOT UNDER HIS WATCH

- you’re a little lost?? he’ll guide you by gently pushing you by the waist EHEHEHHE

- got me giggling n all..

(rest of the members under the cut!)

— 𝐙𝐇𝐀𝐍�� 𝐇𝐀𝐎

↳ is constantly taking candid pictures of you :(( (he has a whole album he organized once a week on his phone)

- he wishes he could inject your reaction tho finding out every time he takes a picture

- he finds you so endearing istg

- he will purposely turn his ringer on so you can hear the camera snap

- sometimes he already awaits your reaction to the first snap so he takes a picture while your eyes are wide in realization

- he treasures it forever (it’s his lockscreen)

- i can imagine you guys being on face time while you are getting ready for the day and he just does the face time screen shot thing

- hes so boyfriend im afraid 😣😣 (pt2)

— 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐁𝐈𝐍

↳ always takes one flower from the bouquets he buys you to know when to buy you a new one

- we need more hanbins in the world 💔💔

- this man buys you a bouquet without you even asking he is literal perfection

- he sets the one flower on his window sill and always makes sure to check it everyday before leaving for work to know if he has to buy you a new one or not </3

- the first time he did it he texted you “hey since the last bouquet died do u prefer lilies or peonies?”

- you went feral LIKE HOW DID HE KNOW??!!

- and then when you went over to his house one day you saw a flower similar to the ones in your bouquet and you connected the dots

- he goes to the same flower shop every time too

- he goes to a locally managed one!! he thinks the flowers are prettier there than at any supermarket

- the old lady who runs the store is basically his second mother and told him to bring you so you two could meet

- he is so boyfriend it is actually crazy (pt3)

— 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐖

↳ buys everything that reminds him of you

- he is so adorable

- he’s out with his friends and he finds a plushie that resembles you?? yeah he’ll buy it

- some times he gifts them to you but sometimes he’ll keep it

- when you ask him about it he’ll be like “oh it made me think of you!”

- one time you noticed a cute plushie in the backseat of his car and you asked him where and why he bought it

- he said “it reminds me of you! that way every time im driving it feels like you’re with me :)”

- you melt EVERYTIME

- HE IS SO BOYFRIEND (pt4)

- you guys build a ikea shelf for your room solely used for displaying matthew’s trinkets he bought thinking of you :(

- he says its the yn museum LOLL

— 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐄

↳ constantly bumps into you as you walk

- it sounds annoying but it’s actually really endearing :(

- times he can’t hug you he’ll touch you by teasing and bumping into you

- he’s also distracted and just so comfortable and immersed in your conversation that he can’t walk straight

- (but he doesn’t tell you that)

- sometimes he almost pushes the both of you off the side walk LOL

- he finds moments where being playful but also being close to you are his favourite memories

- sometime when you get tired of it you just hold his hand which suddenly makes him stop hehe

- he just wants to be close to you is all

- and tease you <33

- boyfriend coded (pt5)

— 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐍𝐑𝐔𝐈

↳ sets food on your plate whenever you eat out

- AHHH THIS MAKES ME SMILE SO HARD

- i feel like hes not the most openly affectionate person,,, like he shies away from pda n all that

- so instead he shows his love through his actions!!!

- you guys are out eating at a kbbq place and hes just placing some meat or rice on your plate </3

- he’s so attentive w/ it too like when he notices the pile is slowly getting smaller, he takes more off of the grill and sets it on your plate :(((

- when you take notice he smiles, places more and goes “here you go” AHHHH

- once u got to the last piece on your pile its tradition to feed it to him :))

- he happily accepts

- he’s so lovely :((

- and so boyfriend </3 (pt6)

— 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐆𝐘𝐔𝐕𝐈𝐍

↳ touching you with his cold hands

- LIVES for harmless teasing

- he’ll take his hands and cup your cheeks with them :((

- he loves the squeal and the cute little face you make :((

- HE JUST LOVES YOU!!!

- sometimes you guys are cuddling in bed and he’ll put his hands under your shirt and rest them on your stomach

- you squeal again which = happy happy gyuvin

- he always apologizes w kisses afterward tho :)

- now you are both happy

- GAWD HE IS SO BOYFRIEND (pt7)

— 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐆𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐎𝐎𝐊

↳ whenever you ask for one of his hoodies, he sprays a fresh spritz of his cologne on it

- he likes any opportunity to give you his hoodies :))

- he acts like he doesn’t see you basking in the cologne the hoodie absorbed the first few times he gives you his hoodie

- so now he makes sure to give it an extra spray before giving it to you :))

- he’s considered buying you the cologne as a gift once actually

- but he likes the feeling of keeping the secret that he knows how much you like the scent so he decides against it :)

- he likes seeing your smile every time you put one of his hoodies on not knowing he was admiring hehe

- bf coded (pt8)

— 𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐘𝐔𝐉𝐈𝐍

↳ compares you to cute and funny animal pictures

- im tempted to make a seperate imagine for this its just so cute

- you’ll just be going about your day and he’ll text you

- he’ll just send the picture of an animal and say “you :)”

- you ask him to elaborate (he has picsart downloaded just for this moment) so he sends a collage of a picture of you resembling the actions or face the animal makes

- he is so cuteness i will die

- when you guys are hanging out he’ll take it phone screen and open up a picture of an animal and hold the screen right next to you face

- he inspects it like he’s an artist and just giggles

- you live for it tho

- oh can’t forget about the times he would ask you to do a pose and you comply reluctantly and he takes a picture and adds it to his collection of pictures that resemble an animal :)

- yea he has an entire album on his camera roll

navi. mlist.

[dokries]

forever

pairing: kwon soonyoung (hoshi) x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, established relationship

word count: 851

warnings: pet names, talks of marriage (in the future!), they go to ikea and hoshi acts like a house husband

author note: OMG i actually love this hoshi so much i’m not even joking thank you eishi for requesting this!! lots of love <33

masterlist

“would you like a cup of tea, perhaps?” soonyoung holds out the teapot that was previously on display with an exaggerated bow, his eyes betraying his humour.

you sigh before giggling, taking the pot and placing it back on the counter for safe measure—you’re only at ikea to window-shop, and the two of you definitely can’t afford to pay for any accidents. “maybe we shouldn’t pick that up, okay sweetie?”

when your boyfriend pouts, you guide him to sit the bar stool by the kitchen island set up beside you. “anyway, isn’t the goal of us being here pretending to have our own house? maybe we should go somewhere else, and not just stay in the kitchen showroom.”

soonyoung immediately shakes his head, pulling you down onto the stool beside him. “no way. you said you liked this one, so we’re staying here.”

“well, i do like the light fixtures…” you sigh contently, leaning into his arm—he giggles and puts his head on top of yours—instead of trying to convince him to move to another space.

besides, you had walked around the entire ikea at this point, and it’s probably a good idea to take a small break before leaving to go home and finally rest after your boyfriend dragging you everywhere he could.

after a few minutes of peace, your boyfriend decides to get up unexpectedly, and he grabs a towel to hang over his shoulder before he walks over to the sink, pretending to turn it on by imitating the sound of water falling.

he whistles before looking over his shoulder at you, as if he didn’t notice you’re at the counter. “oh, hey! how was work, sweetie?”

you raise an eyebrow, putting your elbows on the counter in front of you to stare at him. “it was alright…? kwon soonyoung, what are you doing right now?”

“what do you mean? i’m just being a good husband!” he grins, happily pretending to rinse dishes, and you blush slightly before smiling at his sound effects.

you look around to see if anyone might be judging the two of you for pretending to be married but surprisingly, there’s no people strolling around this specific part of the store. the lack of crowd actually makes this feel as if you actually have just gotten home from a busy day at work, and your boyfriend—well, husband in this case, is washing up after cooking dinner or something.

in the meantime, soonyoung slows down, realizing the same thing as you. it’s like you have your own home, and he thinks that maybe…it’s not so bad.

you move towards him, making your way around the island and wrap your arms around his waist from behind, placing your chin on his shoulder before he can even comprehend what’s happening. once he does though, he almost melts in your embrace, putting his hands on top of yours on his stomach.

“so, soonie…” you start, and he can feel your grin with the way your head tilts to look at his cheek. “is it time for dessert yet?”

he giggles, sliding his hands up and down your arms before sighing happily. he turns to look at your face and freezes, realizing that this scene…could be real. he knows you’re only playing along with this act of being married but now the gears are turning in his head, and his eyebrows scrunch up in concentration.

though he doesn’t know it, your mind wanders to the same topic you two have talked about fondly: eventually settling down, if the both of you agree on it in the future.

it’s not like your relationship is completely new anyway, and marriage has been in the back of his mind for a while now. besides, soonyoung’s made it very clear that he’s serious about you…at least, he hopes he has because it’s true; he would go on a million ikea weekend dates if you were by his side.

“soonyoung, you alright?” he blinks when you call his name, and shakes his head.

“i’m fine!” your boyfriend smiles at you but you can tell he’s thinking about something, and you shrug. he’ll tell you eventually if he wants to, so there’s no need to be concerned—he can’t keep a secret for the life of him.

you move away from him to make sure that all the showroom pieces are in the right place, and he stands there to watch you, realizing this fantasy will be…well, just that when the two of you leave.

soonyoung pouts, crossing his arms. “babe, can’t we stay here forever?”

you turn back to look at your boyfriend and smile softly, walking over to grab his hand and almost push him towards the exit when he won’t move.

“well…we can’t stay here forever but…” you pause to place a kiss on his cheek. “maybe we could stay together forever, if you’d like?”

and as soonyoung nods excitedly and kisses you on the nose gently with a giggle, he knows that he’ll make sure that the forever he’s now thinking about comes as soon as possible—even with the horrible housing rates.

home. (follow up fic!)

[heich0e]

liv liv, poli!sunasamu question.

what kind of dates do they go on?

because rin isn't home much, i think that they all really sort of revel in domesticity when they're able to spend time together: sticking close to home and doing pretty mundane things like grocery shopping, going to ikea, or just spending time around the apartment enjoying each other's company. because free time is hard to coordinate for all three of you, i also think vacations are a big deal—you make a point of going on a couple of trips a year, saving up your time off for the occasion, or making day trips to onsens or the sea whenever you can get away for a day or two.

there are obviously challenges in that you can't be super overt about being on a date as a trio, so if you are venturing out you tend to like things that afford you a bit of privacy. also, since osamu loves food and has a lot of connections in the restaurant industry, he does like to take you and/or rin out to try new places (a frankly staggering amount of your travelling is guided by/planned around what osamu wants to eat, too.) and rin enjoys going to the movies, since he likes films so much—you and samu always tease him because his go-to date idea is so cliche.

[multi-fandom-imagine]

A/n: all resident evil fics here

= Leon S. Kennedy =

::Fics:::

✨:Wanna Feel Your Skin. ✨:[BEDSIDE]:while sitting by the injured unconscious receiver’s bedside, sender reveals that they’re in love with them,unaware that the receiver is able to hear this revelation. ✨:[ GAZE ] :right before the kissing begins, sender gazes at receiver’s lips, then back up at their eyes, waiting for them to make a move or give confirmation. ✨:an adrenaline kiss- Rookie!Leon. ✨:A kiss……to pretend. || Part 2 || ✨:She Wouldn’t Be Gone. ✨:Fuck IKEA. ✨:You look! I’m to Nervous . ✨:Get your dad jokes ready- Rookie!Leon. ✨:Get your dad jokes ready. ✨:Silent Comfort- Rookie!Leon. ✨:Jealousy.

✨:

✨:

= Luis Sera =

::Fics::

✨:[ ANCHOR ]: in a moment where stress and anxiety are running high, the sender tries to ground the receiver by gently guiding them into a hug, resting their foreheads together to steady them.

✨:

= Christopher "Chris" Redfield =

::Fics::

✨:Werewolf Husband || Chris Redfield ||. I’m a werewolf now || Chris Redfield || - Male!Reader. ✨:To The Man Who Let Her Go.

✨:

= Carlos Oliveira / Billy Coen =

::Fics::

✨:A kiss…. in relief || Billy Coen.|| ✨:So Many Kisses || Carlos Oliveira || ✨:First Kiss || Carlos Oliveira || ✨:Sleepy Hug || Carlos Oliveira || ✨:The Little Things || Carlos Oliveira || ✨:The Lift hug || Carlos Oliveira || ✨:A Forehead Kiss || Carlos Oliveira || ✨:My Life ; My Princess || Carlos Oliveira || ✨:I’m going to hug you now || Carlos Oliveira ||. ✨:Christmas Puppy || Carlos Oliveira ||

✨:

=Resident Evil 7 Biohazard & Village=

::Fics::

✨:The Five Sense’s and a Sixth { With Ethan Winters }. ✨:Best Part Of Me || Karl Heisenberg || ✨:HAPPY NOVEMBER!” “No one wishes anyone a happy November.” “Well I just did.” ||Karl Heisenberg|| ✨: The Perfect Ending ||Ethan Winters|| ✨:“Did you decorate the tree without me? I can’t believe this! ||Ethan Winters|| ✨:Christmas Tree shopping. ||Karl Heisenberg|| ✨:Jacket ||Karl Heisenberg|| ✨:Miss Winters ||Karl Heisenberg|| ✨:Fuck! You! Heisenberg ||Karl Heisenberg||

✨:

= Ada Wong =

::Fics::

✨:you can just sit there looking pretty; i’ll do the rest.’

= Albert Wesker =

::Fics::

✨:

[oc-beehive]

An intro to SHOPAHOLIX (+ The trio)

SHOPAHOLIX takes place in a pocket dimension somewhere in between this world and the next - a liminal space that stretches onward into forever, trapping mall patrons in an inescapable series of hallways and stores. whether they succumb to natural causes, die by someone else's hand, or fatigue themselves trying to evade one of the abstractly incomprehensible monsters that roam the shops, they eventually fall...

... and find themselves waking up as something entirely different. Still themselves, but with no knowledge of their name, and spotty memory of their past life... And a few extra limbs, here and there. Maybe computer chips, or maybe fiberfill. It really all depends on the store your human self last stepped into. Whatever it may be, you'll be surprised to see that the twisted, hostile labyrinth of the mall has become the roots for a neo-society. Those monsters you were running from? Those were previous humans - you just didn't have the proper eyes to see what they were yet. The decades of humanity imprisoned in this mall have started from scratch, rebuilding a facsimile of the world they remember - one so familiar, yet so different.

Nobody ages. Nobody's ever left this place alive. None of them are even human anymore. But here they are, thriving anyway.

Satin Grimoire is the Mall's most recent arrival - a young adult who really just wanted to get his holiday shopping over and done with. He's understandably upset and confused when he wakes up from a fainting spell with horns and wings, being looked down on by an actual angel. Like it or not, he's gotta learn all the rules and social standards of this wildly isolated eldritch-purgatory culture... As if that wasn't hard enough back home.

Cotton Principality is one of the Mall's longest-standing residents at this point in time. Not that there aren't "older" Employees - just that most of them died on account of civil society not being fully formed yet. Utterly emotionless and intimidatingly level-headed, Cotton is greatly respected for their work in studying and documenting the history of the Mall and its humanoid inhabitants. Some of their storemates claim they weren't always that way...

Corduroy Keystroke is the only surviving Employee from RadioShack. Why? Well... It turns out it's pretty hard to breathe or eat when your head becomes a laptop. They aren't very compatible with human organs. If anything, she's a medical miracle - a testament to how far the Mall has come in innovating on previous human medical knowledge. It's inspired her onto her new career path - studying mechanical anatomy and physiology, so that one day she can save lives the same way hers was!

Their little social pocket is the lens through which the Mall is explored... Which is to say they're mostly conduits for worldbuilding. I've written guides to xeno physiology and cultural holidays for this Infinite Ikea homage. Send help.

[bangtanhoneys]

GRACE CHU MOMENTS - KIM SEOKJIN

Who Am I? l In The Soop l Dancing in the Kitchen l Sugar Gliders l Don't Blame Me/ Part Two l Lights Will Guide You Home l Food shopping l Days Off l Eat Jin l 100 Days l New Fishing Buddy l I’m Finally Home

The IKEA Bookcase l The Red Polish

[wyrm-with-a-why]

megatron, soundwave and optimus; 6 for the three names ask game? ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

3. fight aliens with, fight zombies with, fight capitalism with

I’d fight aliens with Soundwave because he’d be able to take them down faster imo, optimus is fight zombies with by getting him to protect humanity also because he wouldn’t want to fight other aliens :(. Me and Megatron will end capitalism for all of you

6. go clothes shopping with, go to ikea with, go grocery shopping with

I’d go ikea shopping with Soundwave because he could guide me and remember all the numbers beside the price tags and stuffs. I’d go grocery shopping with optimus because he’d be quick and efficient and having a perfect list that he could get quickly and pay swiftly. I’d go clothes shopping with Megatron because we’d both struggle if we actually like/want the clothes and only go for what we want and leave

[vasilinaorlova]

I am becoming nostalgic but for America in which I live. For Texas, too. A beautiful land of Texas.

I bought a lamp marked as "Hollywood Regency," nostalgic for things I had never lived, life I didn't know, language nobody spoke, that is, nobody in our family, not my grandmothers, not my grandfathers.

The lamp is going to be shipped tomorrow. It makes no sense to buy objects. I keep moving from one place to another. I counted that I moved seven times in the last twelve years. That's more often than once in two years.

During my last move, I left everything behind, in Texas, in storage. I had more than I can take with me. I did not particularly like or adore the things I own. Most of them were bought just because I needed them: a sofa, a floor lamp for the reading, pillows, shelves to keep books.

Even though I always liked interiors, I never had an opportunity to create an interior for myself. I didn't have enough time and knowledge about what I like and what I don't like. I didn't like a lot of styles. I distrusted both boho and industrial. I didn't like rustic charm. I didn't particularly like scandy or japandy. I grew to hate IKEA but shopped there because it was nearly the only functional furniture store with showrooms.

Among the places where I lived in these ten years, I liked probably one apartment, on Enfield Road in Austin. I liked one apartment where I briefly lived in my previous life in Moscow on Basmannaya. It had high ceilings. The apartment in Austin was huge. I dearly loved my places in Kyiv. I loved the house in the village where I was growing up: spending summers. I loved my godmother's very clean and very modest, minimalistic, even stern apartment where she infallibly kept an absolute bare minimum of objects.

Now I live in a tiny apartment in New York but a lovely place which I like. I want to buy all the unusual lamps I see on Facebook Marketplace. Every lamp appears to be New York to me. I want something that somebody else already liked before. And looking at these lamps, I experienced nostalgia for all those lives I never lived. I am not explaining myself too well. The lamps are particularly magical. Many can remember night lights in their children's rooms when they were children. Even if it was just a street lamp. Those lights that keep guiding us or simply keep resurfacing in memory.

[beingjellybeans]

Create your escape: how to design a cozy reading nook in your home

Do you find yourself overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle in the city? Do you find your life’s pace to be too fast and hectic? A reading nook at home may give you the respite you’re looking for. In today’s fast-paced world, finding time for relaxation and self-care is more important than ever. A cozy reading nook is a perfect way to unwind, destress, and escape into a world of imagination.…

[somediyprojects]

DIY Pressed Flowers

Project by Jessica Marquez:

Whenever I have fresh flowers in my house, I’m just a little bit happier. A wild bouquet of colorful blooms brightens my mood and makes my space feel (and smell) great. Although, I rarely have fresh flowers out, because my cats love to munch on them. This DIY is all about preserving your flowers in an artful and creative way, or in my case, protecting them from the destructive mouths of small beasts. Whether it’s a special bouquet you’d like to keep forever, or a way to have flowers around even when your allergies or pets won’t cooperate, this project will keep your home forever in bloom. —Jessica

Pressing flowers is an easy way to preserve their beauty. You can use heavy books (remember using phone books? Those work well for pressing flowers), or you can go pro by making your own press. In our wall art, we’ll use pins to float our pressed flowers, creating depth and dimension much like in the artwork of Anne Ten Donkelaar, who uses pressed and paper flower cutouts for her layered and fantastical 3d botanical collages. Check out Anne’s work for a heavy dose of floral inspiration.

I visited my favorite local flower and skate shop (yep, best combo ever), Park Deli, for this stunning collection of bold yet delicate and brightly colored flowers. I think the best part of this project is the excuse to get some beautiful fresh flowers. You’ll be able to enjoy them for a very long time with this DIY.

Supplies

– Pressed flowers – Floral scissors – Parchment paper – Heavy books or flower Press – Glue – Shadow box frame (I used an IKEA Ribba frame) – Craft foam sheet – Colored paper – Pins (I used specimen pins, because I love the gold tops and matte black stems) – Tweezers

NOTE: Specimen pins measure about 1.5″ long, which extends beyond the shadow box frame’s glass. If you’d like to keep your final piece under the glass, you can use another type of shorter pin or cut your specimen pins down with jewelry wire cutters.

1. Cut the flowers close to the base. I experimented with a lot of different flowers, and found that small, thinner flowers that could lay flat worked best for pressing. Thicker, larger flowers took a lot of pressure to flatten and dry. Line a book with parchment paper and place cut flowers on the page without overlapping. Press for two to four weeks until they are completely dry.

Above is a collection of Chamomile, Thistle, pink Astrantia, orange Asclepia, white Veronica, and yellow Kangaroo paw. I have to say that the Astrantia, with their bold gradation of color and symmetrical starburst pattern, are my favorite.

Tip: Try to press your flowers when they are in full bloom to help get the best shape and colors. The colors will fade, but pressing them in the height of their bloom helps. Make sure they are completely dry, too, or they can mold.

2. Cut the paper and foam to frame size using the mat as a guide. Adhere foam to the back of the paper and frame. I used two layers of foam.

3. Compose an arrangement of pressed flowers. Once you decide on your layout, pin flowers in place starting with the bottom layer and working up. Use tweezers to easily pick up the pressed flowers.

Tip: Some of the dried flowers were so delicate that they cracked when pierced with the pins. Layering a small piece of foam just behind the flower as you pin helps avoid cracking and can also aid in adjusting the flowers at different heights on the pins.

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

Things Hriob is No Longer Allowed to Do, Revised Edition - Part Quarte

#121 I am a Master of Conceptual and Elemental Magics, especially the Natural elements such as Wind, Lightning, Earth, Wood, and Water. However, no matter how ‘natural’ their existence may be, I cannot cast ‘Bear’ and it is not an element, and no amount of arguing, evidence, or demonstrations will change this.

#122 When courting certain individuals I will remember the following; “Using Protection” means the proper use of contraceptives or barriers during coitus, NOT using wards or other magical means of surviving close proximity to individuals whose mere existence provides a serious hazard to my health.

#123 Just because it is one of the few things that CAN still affect me given my supernatural constitution, and just because she is my friend, does not mean I am allowed to occasionally use Shylow-Venom as anti-anxiety medication a recreational drug for ANY reason on my own person or anyone else’s.

#124 When engaging in Small Talk with Lord Alexander, I am to respect the presence and personal safety of his Steward, Sir Cromwell, by politely avoiding use of the following terms and turns-of-phrase: ‘Splitting Hares’, ‘Hot Crossed Buns’, ‘Hare-Rasing’, ‘Hare Removal’, ‘Careful Hop-Timism’, ‘Bad Hare Day’, ‘Hoppily Ever After’, ‘I’m all Ears’, ‘Hare Conditioning’, and any other hilarious bad puns revolving around Lagomorphs in general. Upon further review, Bonnie Kalsang is to be given the extended benefits of this ruling.

#125 I shall remember that ‘Tuning’ is for Musical Instruments, ‘Attenuation’ is for Spiritual and Mystical aspects and machinations, and ‘Vibe Checks’ are for violently percussive maintenance on other people. Just because they SOUND like they’re the same thing doesn’t mean they ARE the same thing.

#126 If I am ever to host a ‘Movie Night’ with my friends/associates/subordinates/rivals/sworn enemies, I will avoid playing the following films for various reasons: Kill Bill, Repo: The Genetic Opera, Shrek 3, Saving Private Ryan, and any historical fiction "i may have been present for when it happened".

#127 I am forever forbidden from doing anything if I am preceding the action(s) in question with any variation of the phrase ‘Hey ___, Watch This!’

#128 I am forever forbidden from officiating Weddings Funerals Birthday Celebrations Coming-Of-Age-Ceremonies Duels Archery Contests Eating Contests Battle Royales Anything.

#129 I am a self-reincarnating Avatar of Life. I, at best, have an understanding with, and at worst, trying relationships with Entities that deeply connect to or convey Death as a Concept. This means that I need to maintain my moral superiority as best I can, which in turn means I should avoid conflict with them… and therefore not try to prank or annoy them.

#130 I am not the Patron Saint of Oktoberfest, no matter how much I wish to be.

#131 I am not allowed to visit Australia, nor am I to confuse it for Austria, be it to mess with other people or try and get around this ruling.

#132 I am forever barred from entering an IKEA store, and am forbidden from chanting backwards in Swedish in any language to assemble disassemble reconfigure rearrange manipulate IKEA-brand any furniture in any way.

#133 I am forever barred from teaching any variety of ‘Shop Class’.

#134 I am forever barred from leading field trips guided tours any sort of group of people for any reason through the following locations: Zoos, Museums, Government Buildings, Anarchist Buildings, Aquariums, Shopping Malls, Alternate Timelines, Alien Planets, Pocket Dimensions, Dimensional Nexus Points, Nuclear Reactors, Industrial Plants, and anything owned by a ‘rival’, ‘nemesis’, ‘adversary’, or any other hostile group or individual.

#135 I am not allowed to appropriate terminology research papers documents artifacts entities employees architecture ANYTHING from the SCP Foundation without due credit at all.

#136 Just because I am now able to transform into certain animals at will, does not mean I get to abuse the ability. This extends to bans against the following: eating my own paperwork and blaming ‘the dog’ on it, attempting to use ‘puppy-dog-eyes’ as a form of negotiation, massively decreasing the local wildlife population single-handedly, and leaving dog hair/fur in unpleasant locations as a petty form of revenge.

#137 I am forevermore banned from playing around with wax, especially heated. This is for my own safety and well-being more than any other reason.

#138 I am not allowed to start my own cult, religion, club, non-profit-organization, or any other form of organized group for any reason, least of all because I need an excuse to change any sort of government-issued id photo.

#139 I am an accomplished Arbormancer, capable of taking living trees of all kinds and fashioning them harmlessly into furnishings or tools, especially magical staves. I am Not, however, allowed to threaten sentient tree-based creatures such as demons, ents, and the like with transformation into such items, nor demonstrate my ability to do so.

#140 Just because some previously-incorporeal people enjoyed my gift of customized living human bodies for them to possess and inhabit, does not mean that Everyone will appreciate such a gift to the same degree. I am not to begin creating such vessels for those I know unless they specifically ask me to, no matter how convenient or helpful I think I am being.

#141 I am forevermore barred from following the ‘advice’ of the maxim ‘Tis better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission’, given that I have by now empirically proven it wrong.

#142 Just because I am a powerful and talented Oathkeeper for pacts and magical deals of all kinds, does not mean I can try and negotiate with children, especially those I am supposed to be babysitting.

#143 No matter how powerful and talented I am with Wood-based, Wind-based, and Ink-based magic, I am not allowed to make magically empowered paper planes and throw them into windstorms of any kind or origin. Not even if the kids ask nicely.

#144 I understand that, given my pact with the Worldspirit Gaia, I am often pulled to act as an emergency agent of their will to stop catastrophic incidents. I understand that, more often than not, those times when a single person is behind the danger, it is someone of necromantic alignment, skills, powers, or so on. Despite this, I am not to complain to them as I try to stop and/or slay them that they remind me of my ex-fiance, no matter how close, depressing, or infuriating the resemblance may be.

#145 I am forever banned from turning any portion of the Halls of the Mountain King into a Ball Pit of any size or depth.

#146 In regards to entry #53, given that I now do offer deals and pacts fairly regularly all things considered, I will remember to try and at least fall mostly in line with the Better Business Bureau’s ethical standards with said dealings.

#147 Given that prior rulings (#42 in particular) have failed, and I am happily sadly considered, among other things, The Wonderful Wizard of Gauze, I shall instead remind myself that flinging bandage wraps at people is not an effective attack. And that, strong as they may be, they cannot support my weight even in bulk - therefore I am forbidden from trying to swing off or around tall buildings with them as my ‘webs’. I am not ‘Spider-man’, and never will be - no matter what I attempt in order to change that.

#148 As an addition to the above ruling, I am to remember that, even if being able to wrap-and-pull items in the heat of battle is a neat and useful utility to have over my adversaries, using the same skill with my ‘bandage shooting’ to grab things around the Halls in a casual setting is frowned upon, even especially if people offer to be ‘test subjects’, ‘training dummies’, or any other kind of volunteer to be ‘shot’ thusly.

#149 Given item #72, I am to extend the same ‘general line of thought’ towards attempting to ‘forcibly evolve things with magic’, or any other medium to attempt the same end result. Spoiler alert: they always turn into crabs. Every. Single. Time. No more crabs.

#150 Just in case, I am forever banned from setting foot within 5 miles of Las Vegas, Nevada. No, not even if the magical forces behind it try to invite me.

[torturedcoveydepartment]

OH MY GOD DID YOU GET THE MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE X HOW YOU MET THE GIRL X NEW ROMANTICS MEDLEY AND HOW DID IT END?!?!?!?!?! or was it night 1 or 2 lol

also do you have any advices for the concert? Like bathroom wise and those practical things!

I WENT ON NIGHT 1, so on the guitar I got I think he knows x Gorgeous, and on the piano Peter - WHICH I AM SO INCREDIBLY DEAD FOR. Stockholm really won surprise songs wise frfr, and I bet IKEA’s sale have gone down 30% in ave by now.

Guide to the eras tour á la Ida

♡ Be there early. Personally I arrived at the arena 8 hours before the concert, which is not necessary - but since there was a shopping center close by, I had a really good time with a bunch of other swifties. They are the loveliest people and the amount of compliments, singing and joy shared is INSANE.

♡ Make friendship bracelets!! It’s a lovely way to connect, and don’t be afraid to ask people on trading!! Security with major guns even had sleeves full of them.

♡ Keep hydrated the entirety of week before to avoid a bunch of toilet breaks. Personally, I didn’t go once during the concert - but if you’re quick I’d recommend going in between Lover and Fearless, or Red and Speak Now (both somewhat longer switches)

♡ Don’t live it through the screen. I didn’t record at all with the knowledge that the internet would be flooded with other’s content - therefore I could live it there and then, and look back on the beautiful memories through other’s photos and videos. (Had the lovely company of my mother who recorded my screaming, and that’s definitely real fun looking back at. So for me, that’s the exception)

♡ Don’t be afraid to go all in with your clothing. The more extreme the funnier.

♡ Bring a bag if allowed!! (in sweden all bags were strictly forbidden due to the high terrorist threat level) and comfortable shoes!!

[britishcolumbia]

Kayak trip part 3: the route

This trip was a 6 day/5 night course launching from Lund and going counter clockwise around West Redonda and Cortes. On the map I used different colours for different days.

Day 1: Lund to Refuge Cove. My arms were absolutely killing as I got used to the paddling technique, and I was exhausted by end of day. The weather was misty and windy which made the trip seem incredibly daunting.

Day 2: Refuge Cove to Walsh Cove. This day was sunny and my strength was back, and the site was beautiful. Camping on tiny islands and storing food in the boats meant wildlife was near-zero concern. It was a good day to go for a cold dip.

Day 3: Walsh Cove to Rendezvous Island South. This was the worst day for everyone else. The weather was downpour and the water was rough. But, we got to pass Toba Inlet which was amazing. On this trip was me and my partner, and our guide (a dear friend of ours) and his girlfriend.

Day 4: Rendezvous Island South to Carrington Bay. This was a short, sunny day with the wind on our backs. We even got to sail a bit with a tarp. The lagoon we stayed at is near the rave site on Cortes. This was the best beach for a dip. This is also where our guides girlfriend drunkenly told me about her affair and bullied my boyfriend.

Day 5: Carrington Bay to the Twin Islands. This was a 27km paddle in the heat. When there's no wind it feels like paddling in molasses. We passed Whaletown and Plunger Passage and saw a humpback in the distance. We got cell service again in this area, and timed the tide right to stop at Sharkspit for lunch. The most welcome part of this day was going around Smelt Bay Provincial Park and using a toilet and sink.

Day 6: Twin Islands back to Lund. The last day was bittersweet. We stopped at North Copeland for lunch, same as we did the first day, except this time I was much more confident steering and getting out on my own. We used double kayaks so we had twice the power, but we lagged behind our guide and his girlfriend since his paddling was way more efficient than ours. It's always a bummer to end a trip, but nice to get away from the girlfriend.

We spent a few days in Powell River afterward to see the salmon run and to shop at Ikea in Vancouver before heading home