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aomi-nabi · 3 years ago

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get to know me tag game

wasn’t tagged but saw from @mercurygguk and felt like doing it(i always miss the ones that ppl tag me in, im so sorry)

tagging: @chateautae @blue-sidez @v-hobi @thefanficmonster @honeytae @hantaev @venusiangguk and obv whoever wants to do it

1. when is your birthday?

october 1st

2. what is your favorite color?

lilac(purple in general) and light green

3. what is your lucky number?

47? idk how that happened

4. how tall are you?

173 cm but its been a while

5. how many pairs of shoes do you own?

6 prob

6. favorite song?

im all over the place with music but currently “people watching” by conan gray

7. favorite movie?

harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban

8. what would be your ideal partner?

idk honestly, just someone who is honest and that i can feel safe with

9. do you want children?

prob not, they r great dont get me wrong, just never saw myself as a mother

10. have you gotten in trouble with the law?

lmao nope but who knows

11. what color socks are you wearing?

black with bunch of gray and bluish dots on them, they r super warm

12. bath or shower?

showerrr, way too lazy for the bath

13. favorite kind of music?

whenever the mood takes me so most likely everything

14. how many pillows do you sleep on?

two, i put my face between and fall alseep immediately, dont know how i got there lol

15. what position to you sleep in?

either on my back or the stomach(ik ik unhealthy and everything but i cant help it)

16. what don’t you like when you’re sleeping?

complete darkness, i sleep with a night light(im not as cool as u think i am)

17. what do you eat for breakfast?

changes everyday but mostly either pancakes or eggs

18. have you ever tried archery?

nope, im useless at any type of sport ngl

19. what are your favorite fruits?

green apples, bananas and avocados(is avocado a fruit? im too lazy to google)

20. favorite swear word?

never thought of it but i guess “dick nugget” bc i call my friend that way😂 (also fuck, its like the most used word in my vocab)

21. do you have any scars?

on my left knee, fell from a scooter

22. are you a good liar?

i want to say yes but im not sure

23. what is your personality type?

INFJ-T(i literally took the test bc i was so curious, idk is this result a good or a bad thing?)

24. what is your favorite type of girl?

idk, it changes and honestly i dont think i have a type at this point

25. right or left handed?

right handed, my left hand is so useless sometimes

26. favorite food?

any type of potatoes, i love em

27. are you clean or messy?

clean all the way, sometimes procrastinate tho

28. favorite foreign food?

italian and mexican

29. how long does it take you to get ready?

prob 5 to 10 minutes

30. most used phrase?

“i dont know”, i mean u could prob tell😂

31. are you a good singer?

nopeee

32. do you sing to yourself?

eh more like hum some random song that i dont remember

33. biggest fear?

prob fear of heights?

34. do you like short or long hair?

both r cool, but with my rounded face, only long suits me😭

35. are you into gossip?

no, but ppl always tell me gossip for some reason so idk

36. extrovert or introvert?

introvert all the wayyy

37. favorite school subject?

history

38. what makes you nervous?

driving and phone calls(ikr, have no idea how i survive this far)

39. who was your first real crush?

girl with bright red jacket in 8th grade, wonder how she is doing now

40. how many piercings do you have?

two(my ears basically), prob have more in future

41. how fast can you run?

ive been told im horrible at running but i try my best

42. what makes you angry?

there is always something new everytime so idk

43. do you like your own name?

yeah, i think its unique and cool, for short i prefer kam or kama tho

44. what are your weaknesses?

social anxiety and just anxiety in general lmao

45. what are your strengths?

good listener, patient ish, and prob napping during the day

46. what color is your bed spread?

light mustard, brown ish?

47. what color is your room?

rlly light blue

#god this was so much fun #ik this was unprompted but i was bored #if u r reading this hope u have a wonderful day

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unravelling-the-world · 4 years ago

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random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie. back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time. i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

#long post #hinatalks #we live in a society #fr fr #when i die....if god is real..i´ll end this once and for all. all of it #i am left with nothing but pain and anger.... i cant even feel anymore. i think i forgot how to

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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years ago

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THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 5, 2019 // return of josh

oooookay folks! that's a wrap! below are my comments about tonight's ep + additional expansions on previously stated opinions. i'm not combining s2 ep 1 with this bc s2 is dead to me! so is s3! i only did this to gather up all these loose thoughts i had when this show with its one lonely season became such a comfort to me that i developed a second consciousness about it. but with these posts i am done! the evil is defeated! i will carry on through the 3rd and hopefully final season of nancy drew with less emotion and better spirits. thank god.

-"talk to owen" nancy firstly thinks of talking to owen only to see what happens w the agleaca; saying goodbye comes as sorta an afterthought mirroring tiffany's possession of george. yet nancy was unable to say goodbe to owen just like w kate. knowing this reveal about kate, i wonder if this was foreshadowing that something big will be revealed about him later? unlikely but still

-nancy + the reality of broken things: 'totems' like broken sand glass sculpture (good place) to show you it's not a dream; "owen broke that" ghost trap to ground him to reality, like how she reached for her locket in the good place, lucy's charm, ace's bear ('totems' idea borrowed from inception)

-george has never been an affectionate person, even with other women- so why does pda with nick suddenly become so important?

-lots of comments about ryan + women but what about carson/kate and karen? again with the hypocritical (interestingly, there is an aspect of violence to women connected with ryan (even though that violence is not his fault); but its not like kate or karen fared well either)

-ryan feels useless- relationships with women as stated by nancy- he seeks to redeem himself by showing up where nancy goes to prove he is good to have around/necessary/needed - but now that he is attempting to act as a parent he has to break through nancy's defenses all over again- firstly she didnt really consider him any kind of threat bc he comes off as incompetent- ie bad business deals- i think i mentioned last ep, their hauntings equalize them as they both attempt to gain peace by searching for answers but now ryan has changed the terms of engagement so he's back to square one, with carson. (which is how we find them s2 cowering in ryans car stalking nancy together)

-ryan's relationship to nancy exposes an interesting layer here. so far she doesnt know about nick/george but they still hold the cards (ie george gets one over on nick's ex/"the new girl") with the revelation of ryan being nancys father, nancy gains an interesting trump card in navigating the social fallout of being nick's ex. like george would take the new spot but then nancy comes out with george's ex in a much higher category. this plays out later on in the ep when george confronts ryan. george wants to talk about "them" but ryan shows up completely focused on nancy, thus illustrating the trump

-"i thought it was whitney with another insipid question" to me this sounds like whitney took bess's advice earlier about "asking aunt diana what she wants" (only to learn it actually annoyed the hell out of diana lmaoo)

-"then you need to fight for it" this hearkens nancy earlier by asking "arent you in by virtue of dna?" the test was positive; she is a marvin just like nancy is a hudson. thats not a fact that they can change. however, diana really acts like it can be changed- and in s2 we see it does change. its interesting for bess to be told to fight to be in a family she's already in and also foiled by nancy trying to fight her way out of her own family. would like to see bess stand up to diana and say something. i mean, she exists. as much as she may want to erase bess from the family, diana cannot erase her existence

-hannah's rolled up sleeves 💙

-"previous keepers records" -from s2- were those not her parents??

-mistaken murderers- everyone incorrectly assumes lucy was murdered just as they assume the agleaca killed owen

-even if owen weren't the price, how can they pay the toll without one of the people who called? i mean if it was anything other than owen and he still died they still wouldve been fucked

-"you don't need to check, i'm not even driving!" okay and giving up the goss. cassidy is me. lmfaoooo

-wonder if this locked marvin industries box will ever come back

-UNPOPULAR OPINION: george's confrontation with ryan comes waytoo late to do anything. i think i brought this up in an earlier post. its literally just her screaming at him now. like he is clocked out moved on. you know a good time for this scene? in the claw when he comes by to "check on her". hes vulnerable, fresh from rehab. and she has a chit over him for punching bookcases/the fuckin country club deal. therewould have been a perfect time to confront ryan on what happened- "what you did to me" okay sis. you admitted ep 1 you werent in hs anymore. youre of age now. admit you fucked up. take the L to force him to swallow the bigger L. and imagine how much more powerful the scene would have been- in george's domain, literally her own office, something ryan doesnt even have because HE DOESNT DO SHIT. ryan is SO EASY to trap but nobody notices. instead they have george try to get some kind of apology out of him when hes already done with that, and only for the sake of her establishing a new relaionship to boot. imagine how much more empowered she would feel if she just got that closure for herself- because she needed it, not so she could trot straight back to nick being all proud of calling a grown man to some random estate only to scream at him in a parking lot and have accomplished nothing. 🤦🏼‍♀️

-i get patrice thinking nancy is lucy but yeahhhhh this isnt how dementia works 😬

-i almost cant with nance and josh. how do you save your would-be murderer? (+ lucy's best friend and brother are in jail, her mom is lost to her mentally; all she has left is nancy and ryan)

-tbh i had no idea how to spell agleaca until bess said "theres no i in agleaca!" i thought it was igleaka like 😂

-damn how george just stares at nicks hand and then gets out herself is just so sad (like she immediately rectifies it but still...)

-"curiosity" part II; nancy who comes back to the sea after her mother died in it- agleaca drawn to lucy's trauma/to agleaca, lucy died fir "love"- would nancy be willing to risk the same? // this is also one of nancy's "mirroring mom" moments: winning sea queen, going to the velvet masque, getting caught by celia, having a "chat" with everett, and "falling" off the bluffs

-the collector 🎵👌🏻

-i wonder if there's any significance to the locations/means of their deaths; nancy's is pretty straight forward in terms of where and how, but why george and nick drowning, in the truck specifically? drowning in love? idk. ace's at the claw i get, but he gets himself caught? in what precisely? what does the fish hook mean? and bess's makes the least sense- burning alive? in the marvin estate? maybe the agleaca picked the most painful death for the marvin blood relation? idk. up for debate lmk ya thoughts

and lastly:

-i remember seeing this ending for the first time and i had just been traumatized by avengers endgame and since black widow is also a redhead seeing that shit at the bottom of the cliff it was like 😰😰😰 TOO SOON

-random thoughts-

these are just things i noticed, feel free to grapple with them or take note of them for extrapolation in s3 (lord knows i wont be) they probably belonged in recaps for previous eps but i either didnt find them in my notebook or couldnt fit them in

•nancy and truth/the perception of truth: using facts to suit theories instead of creating theories to suit facts- nancy often plays with the perception of truth and the details that fall between the steps; but she is also a victim to them by people who also know how to play the game (ie Carson) ex lying about the dress (tea cups and knives, trash got picked up, bail paid 1 hr ago) her inferences can be off from what others tell her ("people always lie") but she can also come to the wrong conclusions organically (carsons trial) more willing to believe the best in others/wanting them to be innocent (think nick ep 1) but later finding out the truths hurts more so she chooses to isolate herself and avoid involving others to be spared pain

•maybe i'm dumb, but who is "mr marvin" exactly? owen? the bald guy from the funeral? this comes from the guy who takes sailboats out like ep 4ish and says "ive worked for the marvins 20 years" she compliments the ship, he says "mr marvin and i just took her out this morning" so?? who is that? plus last ep just saying cassidy and isaac are her "late husbands children" dows thet mean sebastian? like did diana marry in? i feel like it would be odd for her to so embrace the "marvin way" if she wasnt a true born marvin

•ik college becomes a more s2 topic but none of the crew have ever been to college 🤔

•nick + the relationships with people whose reputations are tarnished: tiffany with investigating the hudsons/marvins, josh with murder/attempted murder, kate and 'stealing'/lying about nancy (esp compared to her almost preternatural kindness i mentioned before), george and her mom/family's reputations --> this kind of segues into nick + the concept of believing people you love could be capable of horrific things- accidental or on purpose (see- having to tell his family what happened)

•at the beginning, nancy kind of seems to be the "i'm sorry you're upset" kind of apologist and knows it. she also doesnt usually apologize earnestly bc shes never really sorry (she always has to get what she needs first ie coins mess) and she doesnt want to lie; to me it seems she doesnt like to bother with other people bc they require certain cues/niceties that are often lies- they ask "how are you" without meaning it, they dont really want an honest response except "fine", they dont like it when you call them out on fakeness, etc/ they require apologies for their bruised feelings even if youre right (and nancy can be pretty rude/nasty if provoked- a harshness unsoftened by sympathy)

•cont'd from the good place ep- since kate apparently means nothing to nancy anymore according to last ep ("stop calling her my mother") is her policy of "always seek the truth" now null and void? this mantra is now tainted bc the person who gave it to her broke it so much. can nancy disengage w it now? does she fall from grace to be complicit in "mysteries" of her own like everyone else? does she lose some of her "god-like" holier than thou act bc she is now literally born and raised in the "darkness" of sins/ugly truths like everyone else's? (ie truth is ugly but not to nancy, until now)

•did lucy disappear because her "murder" was finally solved? or simply because her trauma was addressed- she never meant to tell anyone about her suicide plans, the twisted trauma of which was too great to contain/unable to move on due to "sin" - or unable to move on because secret of nancy's parentage still remained? "lucy never wanted me to figure out how she died" she only wanted nancy to figure out her parentage without solving the mystery, yet did lucy see/witness nancy's revelation at the claw, or with carson, or even ryan? waiting for karen/josh to know? or just vanished?

•concept of imperfect mom figures- lucy, kate, celia, victoria, even karen- who all struggle with failings

•since karen dispelled one of lucy's attempts at nancy's haunting at the garden party, is that proof she isn't haunting karen?

•the crew + needing adult help: george's possession and victoria, club busted and owen, car accident and mcginnis, thom and cipher, larkspur lane and sal, bones and john, agleaca and hannah

•everett is always sitting- at his home office, at dinner, at yacht club (wonder if that was his actor + had to do with his recasting?)

-dad talk-

•both her dads think negatively on her "girl detective" thing but ryan sees use in it as a means to get answers, carson would never 'use' her in that way

•nancy + carson : suffering

"what about what i wanted?" + carson being imprisoned for weeks but she immediately rejects him (the DAY he gets his freedom no less) with no regard to his suffering (caused by herdiary!!) in regards to her own from this new knowledge (she does suffer a lot- "almost dying is my new normal" but still)/ the "thankless job" of parenting

•nancy + adults - connected to cop thing a few posts earlier : nancy is v precocious and smart for her age- she is "old enough" but also has trouble with the "adults" in her life- fathers, moms, karen, and cops letting her down but depends heavily on "adults" she cantrust- hannah gruen, john sander, lisbeth- highlighting her youth and occasional naiveté; nancy is unafraid to hold adults accountable for their actions (ie karen) but also loses them as allies along the way. both hannah and john are very nonthreatening and also experts in their fields, while her fathers and karen are revealed to be "just another brick in the wall" average, capable of mistakes, and not the people she expects them to be, while characters like john and hannah can only benefit nancy because either they do not mean as much to her or have no reason/nothing to gain by lying; they are purposefully shown to be small, demure, gentle, and nonthreatening as foils/opposed to karen, ryan, and josh whom she previously trusted; carson (+kate) is nonviolent as well but has the biggest betrayal which is perceived as an act of violence to her very personhood/shattering who she thought she was so she cannot be that anymore (admits truths to john "everytime i dig i hurt everyone" and hannah-agleaca) : unclear if redemption is possible for anyone :

•nancy bonds with carson over loss and then ryan over haunting. but actually, nancy rejects carson over loss bc she wanted to say goodbye and wasnt allowed to- so carson was with kate but nancy was not. nancy and ryan are more equals about haunting bc they both start around the same time and conclude together as well [nancy and ryan bond over thinking their parents conspired to kill lucy- think sitting on the floor at velvet masque] nancy is appreciated by ryan for her ability to get answers- he has no qualms about going through her/outside of police bc he wants results/instant gratification and thinks nancy is more so the expert in her field/respects her even through her age- once again acknowledging she is braver than he is (think lucy + claw parking lot) and her portent in the car freaks him out bc shes usually always in control, esp with him

•bc nancy was told "you can't be afraid of the truth" until she was / ironic bc shes braver than him except when the truth is they are related then she's scared to tell him while he actually starts to take some initiative

•nancy picked "the wrong person" to help her through her grief in her dad's eyes like her mom's best friend was somehow a better choice? carson truly "parents" nancy even during grief and haunting (which she rejects) whereas nancy and ryan are really equals in all their situations which is actually better for her and easier for her to maintain- nancy's expectations are low so anything that ryan gives is a bonus. nancy's expectations of carson were shattered by his lies so now she has nothing to connect with him about- they could barely even connect when sharing the same grief- carson actually very hypocritical hence nancy's upset at karen revelation yet carson doesn't agree bc hes the "adult" and shes the "child" not realizing she hadnt been one for a long time (hidden staircase perhaps?) whereas ryan better treats her with lack of controlling parental nature bc he is impressed with her competence before he receives that knowledge; "lucy was smarter than me too" acknowledging her intellect negates his ability to "parent" ie control her to leave him solely with caring about her wellbeing in her situations + aftermath - i honestly dont think carson would ever admit that shes smarter than him* bc he thinks shes not "all grown up" yet ("youve kept me on the bench for years"); ryan is more willing to meet her where she's at which is so important for all her good relationships - ace, owen, etc

*carson asks for nancy to figure out "who to trust" in ep 12, finally admitting that she is useful/ie acknowledging that her skills/abilities do help, are necessary, and can in fact save lives --> this is then s2 follow up by working for him (but it takes him that long)

•ryan/nancy/carson venn diagram - using sex to escape trauma

•if not carson vs ryan then what about celia and everett vs patrice (and josh)? at this point in the narrative, do you think ryan's parents would take his side should the knowledge become public (without their involvement), or deny nancy?

•"we were a family" + the disruption of family dinner- kate was really the one holding that family together and her death makes it unsustainable

okay!! that's all folks! i have exhausted my plethora of nancy drew thoughts + knowledge. you will never have to hear from me again!! TYSSM 😘

#brooklyn's ND primer #nancy drew cw #the Great Rewatch of 2021 #you best start believing in ghost stories miss drew - you're in one

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swashbuckling-chicken · 2 years ago

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ive been tagged like 3 times now fine ill do it @donutdisturblivball @moonriseblueeyes @sunflowersand-butterflies

nicknames: everyone on here calls me chicken because my pfp is a chicken so lets go with that

real name: not fucking telling you

zodiac sign: gemini

fave musicians: marina and the diamonds, mcr, doja cat (others as well but i cant fucking remember)

fave sports team: yankees

sports watched: baseball (occasionally)

other blogs: none. i had a sideblog for one day for one of my other interests and then i kept messing up where i was posting so i just deleted it

do I get asks: sometimes. i currently have like 3 sitting around because i dont currently have the energy to drum up righteous anger about squirrels so ill answer them tomorrow. feel free to send me random shit tho im just having fun out here

following: 175

tumblr crushes: none. i do have a couple tumblr besties tho you know who you are

lucky number: 13

what I'm wearing: clothes

dream vacation: somewhere i can sleep undisturbed for 17 years

dream car: one that never runs out of gas. gas prices need to fucking die

fave foods: a bagel. i eat one every morning

fave drink: dr pepper

instruments: i play a mean kazoo

languages: just english

celebrity crush: Maitreyi Ramakrishnan. im watching never have i ever rn and shes so pretty i cant even. im too gay for this.

@xhavibee @sorry-i-panicked @mike-wheeler-ik-what-you-are @crazycoven @gay-idi0t @oneway-closet @ronance-and-reddie

do it or dont do it i dont give a shit im going to sleep luv you all

im so sorry for doing this so late lol!!! ty @midnightmoon27 for tagging me :DD

nicknames: donut (online)

real name: i don't feel very comfy sharing outright, but i mean literally look at my user man

zodiac sign: aquarius

fave musicians: conan gray, queen, mxmtoon, cavetown, david bowie, the smiths, the cure

fave sports team: dont got one

sports watched: ice skating!!! gymnastics!!!! i think skiing is cool as shit too

other blogs: i can barely handle one yall r asking too much from me

do I get asks: occasionally? i've gotten a bit mroe as of late but nto really

following: SO many byler blogs i cant even begin to NAME--

tumblr crushes: thats like-- people that when they like or reblog my shit im like "!!!! omg they noticed me" right?? bc in that case hard yes

lucky number: i dont think i have a specific one? i've never really thought about it

what I'm wearing: pjs B]

dream vacation: france and canada await.

dream car: i should probably stop relying on public transportation and actually get a license before i even begin thinking of dream cars

fave foods: RICE!!!!! rice and pasta and potatoes. feed me any of these things and i will literally propose within the hour (after i finish eating obviously)

fave drink: water lol

instruments: i've been playing violin since i was around 6 or 7! at this point ive devoted so much time to it that i literally cannot quit even if i wanted to. i really wanna learn how to play piano and guitar tho

languages: just english! im shit at learning other languages RIP

celebrity crush: i have this weird thing where i cannot for the love of god consider people that i dont have a crush on attractive. like i can agree if you ask me if certain celebrities r conventionally and objectively attractive, but i just cant bring myself to actively think that theyre hot in my own opinion. idk its like theres this weird roadblock that just stops my mind from thinking different people that i dont know personally irl are attractive. like i play genshin impact and i have such a problem with making "mommy" jokes myself but idgaf when my friends do it. idk its weird lol

wow that was such an unnecessary rant about the inner workigns of my brain. anyway TYSM FOR TAGGING ME AGAIN!! THIS WAS VERY FUN :))

non pressure tags!! @celestialstars7 @swashbuckling-chicken @l0v3c0r3e @slytherin-crow101 @tntozier @cosmicbrowniefan @quinnick ++ anyone else who'd like to hop on the bandwagon :D

#asks

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verngyu-moved · 7 years ago

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its the last month of 2017, and i wanted to make a special post to a few people i’ve met this year, and just express my gratitude. this was originally part of my follow forever, but i felt like it deserved its own post since i tend to ramble ◑.◑ my apologies to everyone mentioned in this since it’s kinda long + a lot of ppl are mentioned hdjfkgkdfl

amanda @beautifulshuas - amanda!! im really glad the time we had that suddenly super deep convo that u didnt feel like i was intruding on anything hahah. it was nice sharing that experience with u (but also sucky bc it’s not a good experience) and i look forward to more 1 am conversations about shitty relationship situations lmaooo

jennie @boosonseok - no offense but ur shitposts are the best thing in the entire fandom lbr, and i enjoy seeing a lot of divaboo on my dash, since he is like my little brother. i appreciate ur shadiness (u kno the time) and shoutout to the california bay area heheheh ＼(≧∇≦)/＼(≧∇≦)/

bonnie @cafewoozi - i think ive said this like 6 times but bonnie u!! are!! an angel!! i really appreciate all the help and advice you gave me this yr. u only say nice things abt ppls’ work and i still cant fathom that u actually....like....take time out of ur day to put smth nice on each post u reblog,,,, i can barely tag ppls names ??? a n g e l

kelsey @chanyoel - i lov eu thank u for putting up with w me yelling abt mingyu. u were the first person i converted to kpop.......bless. ur also one of the 5 ppl i actually text everyday (≧◡≦) u stick up for me, listen to me, and cry w me (its always bc of svt tho), thanks for being an amazing friend !!! also sorry for slacking off on @/ing u in jun posts..........i have the urge to @/you whenever i see him just kno that

sophia @gemhui - sorry i havent messaged u on tumblr much lately but ur still one of my best friends on this hellhole. weird to think we met thru another blog entirely when ur icon was scoups of ice cream and i messaged u abt it lololol thanks for being encouraging and so sweet all the time the world doesnt deserve u╰(◡‿◡✿╰) ps ur gay ashgdfjkldf

dana @jishua - dana m’luv thanks for letting me rant to u, ur rly one of the easiest ppl to talk to im so mad i waited so long to get to kno u, ur sense of humor is a+, u always have something positive to say, n ur also a #fellowcapricorn whaddup. remember the time i stayed up til 5 to watch the clap mv w u??? goOD TIMES.

jiyoon @jeonheart - jiyoon thank u for helping me learn how to gif stage performances, it prob seems like such a minor thing but it means a lot to me since i’d been trying to for abt a yr. u approached me and u didnt have to do that, and its very rare to see random acts of kindness on tumblr so i just wanted to thank u again ^^ i hope life is bein kind to u and ur in good health!!

stella @jeonqhcn - stella idk if youll see this but i hope school is going alright for u :( ur super smart (srsly) and really kind, ps jeonghan misses u (mingyu tells me jeonghan asks if you’ve said anything 2 me abt him) hope we get to talk more soon!!

adelin @pabospoiler - adelin its always a pleasure talking to u, esp when its about #tumblrstuff, since its nice to relate to someone else about being a content creator and the pros and cons of it. pls keep making ur stuff bc it is really good :( and u may not already kno this, but tbh, u are The™ Soonseok Gifmaker..............its u, bro.

renata @powerfulhoshi - u are one of the most encouraging ppl on here, ur full of nothing but positive light and energy.......u always make me feel less heavy when i talk to u, its refreshing. ur also one of the most under-appreciated content creators in this fandom,,,, wtf....im salty.....but im sure in 2018 u will be greeted w nothing but success and admiration !! bejos to u (♥◡‿◡♥)

emmy @shuvee - emmy u are uber talented and uber intelligent!! i was not expecting to be ur friend considering u are Ultra Coole™ but its interesting talking about really serious stuff and bitching abt college :////, i didnt rly expect to ever talk to u......so im still in shock tbh. and to think this whole friendship was started bc i didnt know a ship name (wasnt it junshua)???? iconic

steffi @soonsyoung - stef idk i hope youll see this, but ik this yr has not been the greatest, but i love u i love u i love u. sorry for swerving down soonyoungs lane that 1 time. when things got shitty for me after everything that happened u were there for me, so just kno i will always be there 4 u, i miss u on here, but school is def more important and this site lowkey sucks lmao

rina @wonnwoo - !!!!! quite literally the wonwoo to my mingyu, the person who sees my ugliness and still ???? decides??? to stick w me ???? an angel. u give me the best gifts (u think im talking about the teen,age album but im rly talking about the **** and ****** recs). i will continue to better myself for the sake of u, so i can be strong for u, and help u when u need it. im #tsundere as u kno, so i apologize again if i seem cold i just jkdfglsdf have too many fluffy feelings to handle them correctly. i am also drafting a special w*nw** sm*t 4 u if u must kno

#i love u all #im hoping that 2018 is great for all of us!!!#im sure i forgot some1????? ive had a rough day finalizing this lmao #lovely folks 💞🍰🌸#d:tp

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fystarlust · 8 years ago

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1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59

2. what would you name your future kids?~ idk but i like the names Lily & Blue 3. do you miss anyone?~ yes, quite a lot 4. what are you looking forward to?~ seeing my pups 🐶 5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?~ usually yes, but it depends on how low my mood is 6. is it hard for you to get over someone?~ generally yes, but some are harder than others 7. what was your life like last year?~ March last year was pretty damn bad 8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?~ yes lol 9. who did you last see in person? ~ my girlfriend10. are you good at hiding your feelings?~ when i want them to be hidden yes 11. are you listening to music right now?~ nope 12. what is something you want right now?~ sunshine 13. how do you feel right now?~ kind of down but okay 14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?~ a couple weeks ago 15. personality description~ intense, can be bitter & kinda shitty & mean but i do mean well n im trying. v sensitive, v observant. needy af. idk really  16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?~ yes ive kept my mouth shut multiple times 17. opinion on insecurities.~ im guessing this means insecurities in general ? i think we need insecurities, as much as ppl hate having them i think without it we'd be pretty stuck up n not nice 18. do you miss how things were a year ago?~ some aspects of it, but generally no  19. have you ever been to New York?~ no, part of me would like to go but it seems pretty busy and full on/intense, so im not sure if it would be for me 20. what is your favourite song at the moment?~ Something by Girl's Day, underrated af 21. age and birthday?~ 19 years, 1 month, 1 day 22. description of crush.~ understanding af, patient, kind, always means well, a true angel who always tries her best 23. fear(s)~ spiders~ being stabbed~ the dark~ my mind (deep ik)~ vomiting~ being alone 24. height~ 158.5cm or 5ft2.5 25. role model~ Seán McLoughlin 26. idol(s)~ none 27. things i hatelooool pretty much everything~ people~ alcohol n drugs~ people on alcohol n drugs~ brushing my teeth (the worst thing in daily routine)~ winter~ coca cola~ being bitten by rodents~ poopicking~ liars~ not being able to sleep~ being cold~ my mind (deep again ik)~ talking to strangers~ talking on the phone~ being in situations that cause me anxiety~ anxiety attacks~ anxiety in general~ ordering food at restaurants~ ill stop now we'll be here forever  28. i’ll love you if…~ eh i probably wont lol 29. favourite film(s)~ Harry Potter, Tangled, Pirates of the Caribbean, Lights Out, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Bridesmaids  30. favourite tv show(s) ~ The Walking Dead 🙏🏻31. 3 random facts~ i have a scar on my right ear and no one can remember how or when i got it~ i was a vegetarian for a year but had to stop bc it was v bad for my health, but i do want to start again and possibly be vegan~ i've held an alligator before 🐊 32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?~ what friends 33. something you want to learn~ i'd love to learn a new language 34. most embarrassing moment~ probably peeing myself in secondary school in the middle of a classroom (no one noticed bc im sneaky af) 35. favourite subject~ in college it was probably Zoo 36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?~ be happy~ rescue lots of animals~ love what i do 37. favourite actor/actress~ Johnny Depp 38. favourite comedian(s)~ Lee Evans 39. favourite sport(s)~ Horse Riding 40. favourite memory~ i cant think of one rn 41. relationship status~ in a relationship 42. favourite book(s)~ i havent read enough to have a favourite yet 43. favourite song ever~ Adventure of a Lifetime - Coldplay ~ Cry Baby - The Neighbourhood  44. age you get mistaken for~ anything from like 16+ lol 45. how you found out about your idol~ none 46. what my last text message says~ 'sorry ill transfer it now' 47. turn ons~ when ppl care about my feelings  48. turn offs~ when ppl dont care about my feelings 49. where i want to be right now~ Greece, anywhere on holiday tbh 50. favourite picture of your idol~ i dont have one 51. starsign~ pisces 52. something i’m talented at~ overthinking 😜 53. 5 things that make me happy~ my girlfriend~ ellie~ my pups~ my horse~ sunshine 54. something thats worrying me at the moment~ nothing rly 55. tumblr friends~ none lol 56. favourite food(s)~ chinese, mcdonalds, candy floss, spaghetti bolognese, pretty much all savoury snack foods  57. favourite animal(s)~ elephants, otters, pandas, dogs, all of them 😭 58. description of my best friend~ a literal meme~ love her a lot~ been best friends for yeeeears~ xbox dates~ makes me laugh super hard~ i look forward to our chats everyday~ wish her all the happiness in the world 59. why i joined tumblr~ saw my girlfriend on it n thought it looked cool lmao

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