#ik i tuned in my victorian persona half-way
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monamipencil · 6 months ago
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no no no no pls. oh my god. i can't even digest what happened, i'm just sitting frozen, staring at my screen.
i was at awe since reading her take on the mythology. i've never seen it like that and it really surprised me. and the foreshadowing too..
and all their interactions were so sweet and warm too. the writing made me blush super hard, like it's been long reading a character that made my heart flutter. my mom looked at me like i was crazy lol.
their romance did not feel pushed at all. it was so damn natural and believable. oh the ball scene was crazy and the morning after scene... (my mom was convinced i had gone crazy finally with the way i blushed)
i cursed when they started meeting carelessly. like???? and why are they so adorable. just cuddling on the library couch. it was so sweet.. till it wasn't
i cried when she started eating pomegranates, shoving them all down, thinking it'd bring him back. but she was allergic to it. oh, the way i gasped.
and my take here, the parallel between him and the fruit? like when the doctor said this,
“I'm guessing you've had one before, but because of the large intake you had a much bigger reaction. If you eat just a little it wouldn't be very noticeable, maybe a slight itch.”
their relationship was feasible when it started out—like they were hesitant and the guilt only tinged a bit? but he was never meant for her, just like the fruit. and being together for long and when they got a little too comfortable, it all came crashing down.
man, what a way to realise that compromise was way better than this reality?
i love her friendship with eunji too! them both talking like school girls and giggling. it was a good momentary relief.
“Out of anger, sadness, and out of uncertainty. Anger because your father left you to take care of his mess all by yourself. Sadness because you didn't love the man you were about to marry. And uncertainty because you had no idea what choices you would make tonight.”
oh to be a woman with no choice and ultimately choosing someone else's happiness over yours because you were raised to nurture others and be soft and kind. to be the daughter that will be cursed for the doings of your kin.
“I never married," he admitted. "I haven't been able to move on from you.” 
noo. wonwoo please. my poor heart cannot take this.
anyways, enough of my insanity. i'm afraid i'll never be the same person i was before reading this.
i just know, im gonna cry about this to my friends after break ends.
op! you did such a good job writing this. ty for writing and sharing this.
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title: Pomegranates pairing: prince!Wonwoo x princess!reader genre: angst, star-crossed lovers au, royal au, suggestive warnings: nudity, implied smut, cheating, puking, eating, mentions of not eating, slut shaming (if you find any more, please let me know!!) synopsis: You, a princess from a doomed kingdom, have been arranged to be married to an heir of a much more prosperous kingdom. However, when you first visit them, you realize that you would much rather be with the heir's younger brother. wordcount: 13.8k taglist: @enhacolor, @shuabby1994, @junhui-recs, @dkakapizzaboy, @just-here-to-read-01, @loviehan, @userjunhuii, @novalpha, @bubblymoon, @aaniag, @d0nghyuck, @fantasy2wonderland, @seunghancore, @woozixo, @niktwazny303, @lllucere, @uniq-tastic, @wonwoospartyhat, @stariightjoyy, @hyneyedfiz, @cali-snow, @pearlygraysky, @crazywittysassy, @yeosayang rating: 18+
request: Really craving to read angsty. No ideas in mind but I want to see betrayal and kill my insides (and cry inside) Can you surprise me? My favorite member is Wonwoo :)
a/n: the ending was @strawberryya's idea, so you have to blame her for that pain... the rest is my fault
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The castle halls were empty, and the furniture that was left were covered with white sheets. Your heeled shoes echoed through the tall corridors as you walked across the marble floors. A kingdom once beautiful, once prosperous, now turned into dust in front of your very eyes. While growing up, your father always spoke of how his kingdom will one time be yours. But you no longer wanted this.
"Your Majesty, your carriage is here." Your chambermaid came up beside you.
"Do I have to go?" you said, only half sarcastically.
"I'm afraid so, my Lady." She nodded. "But I will be with you every step of the way."
Most of the servants in the castle had left because you simply did not have the means to keep them around. Nevertheless, you had insisted on keeping Eunji around. She was the closest thing you had to a best friend, after all.
"I wish my father could be here..." You sighed as you followed after Eunji.
"We all wish he could be here." She nodded solemnly. "I think he would be very proud of your decision."
The Prince of the neighboring kingdom had offered his hand in marriage, despite your empire being in ruins after your father's sudden death. Everyone was joyous over the occasion, except you. There had never been enough time for you to think of marriage or love in any capacity, but you knew that you didn't just want to do it for an advantage. However, Eunji was right - your father would have been proud. He had repeatedly told you that he trusted you to be a good ruler and to do what is right for the people. This was right for the people, so at least you had one reason you could justify the situation with.
The ride there was long and treacherous, nothing like you had ever experienced before. You frequently used to ride horseback with your father, much to your mother's dismay. To see you sitting pretty in one of your finest gowns in a carriage brought her the utmost delight. It wasn't like you hadn't ever dreamed of doing these things, but you never found yourself doing so.
"You really do look lovely, darling," she said.
She was a kind soul, your mother, but she never understood you much. It wasn't her fault, of course, and after your father's passing, she had tried to accommodate more to your needs, as had you to her.
"You've said that already, mother," you said whilst giving her a small smile.
"Oh, I know..." She sighed. "I'm just restless..."
Of course, she was restless. If she weren't restless it would provoke you even further. However, you knew she wasn't solely restless. She was excited. She was excited because you had picked your clothes yourself without her having to ask you to wear something nice. That only happened on extraordinarily special occasions, although you must admit it felt nice to look pretty.
"... thank you.", you looked out the window to avoid her sympathetic smile.
The moment you told her of your plans to marry, she cried tears of joy. Partly because she was so happy for you. Furthermore, because she knew the kingdom would be saved. Outside the window, autumn had begun to take its toll on the poor trees. No longer green, they had taken on an orange color. Although it was beautiful, you knew that in a few weeks the orange would turn brown and that the trees' destinies were to turn into lifeless husks of the beautiful bloom that spring had brought them. Nobody questions the cruel cycle of the seasons because we have grown attached to them, it is the natural way of things.
However, the seasons are purely a transaction. If it is true, as the ancients say, that every spring Persephone leaves Hades' side in the Underworld, then it is a trade between the King of the Underworld and the human race. We get to live with Persephone's beauty for half a year, and then we experience the same cold that Hades feels once his Queen leaves his side. The tale is tragic and has been adapted into many forms of storytelling. But, nobody ever asks how Persephone feels. Her body is used by both the people and the man she loves as pristine goods. She is torn: should she stay with the man she loves or should she help her people? This compromise between Hades and the people may seem like an acceptable prospect, however, every winter people are still hurting, and every spring Hades cries tears of sorrow and loneliness. The agreement brings equal pleasure for both parties, but it also brings equal pain. And let's not forget the Queen, who hurts no matter what she does.
"We're almost here, darling," your mother interrupts your thoughts, and you are forced to drag your attention away from the trees.
"Indeed we are," you hummed as you saw the castle, your new home, in the distance.
The castle had a homely look with many rounded corners. It gave you the impression that it wanted to look less intimidating than it was. Yet the towers still stood tall, and the large windows seemed to glare back at you - like the soul speaks through the eyes of a person. Your new family was inside, waiting for you in the King's throne room.
"Are you ready, my darling?" Your mother came up beside you.
"Certainly." You nodded, keeping your gaze fixated on the mesmerizing marble structure.
The large wooden doors opened for you as you walked up the steps, and, even inside, it seemed lovely. If you could, you would've taken a moment to appreciate the amount of art on the walls, not to mention the mural on the roof. There was no time. You could only walk past it. You came to a second large wooden door. You heard your name being presented on the other side. When the doors opened, you were almost blinded. Not only did the room have big ceiling windows decorated with golden arches, but the room was also almost entirely filled with mirrors on the walls. Instinctively, you straightened your back as soon as you saw your reflection. In front of you sat King Jeon, lonely on his golden throne. You thought of Hades again and that maybe this is just what he looked like. The man was huge, much bigger than you had ever imagined, and had a large grey beard. His crown sat perfectly on his head. From it, his grey hair was cascading down his shoulders. Once you were just a few feet away from him, you courtesied and bowed in respect. The King stood up from his throne and walked toward you. Never had you imagined that he would reach his hand out for you to try to shake it. Yet, he did, and you took his hand in yours. His hand was calloused and felt as if it was as large as your entire forearm.
"My condolences for your father´s passing, Princess," he said with a sincerity and kindness that you would never have expected from his appearance.
His voice was deep and burly, and it reminded you of thunder. As you peered up at him, you couldn't believe his size. You had never seen a person this tall before.
"Thank you, your Majesty," you said, trying to keep your voice strong.
"I am glad that such a strong woman such as yourself could take over his place," he said. "Your father spoke very highly of you whenever we met."
"He spoke highly of you as well, your Majesty." You smiled at him, politely yet genuinely.
"That's very kind of you to say." His smile was also surprisingly kind. "Now, I'm sure that you're hungry, I'll show you to the dining hall and then I'll have the servants show you to your rooms. We can talk of business tomorrow."
The King gave you another warm smile and nodded to your mother as a greeting. You had never gotten to experience what it was like to live as a ruler. Instead, you had always found yourself in the position your mother was in now - ignored until the last seconds of the meeting. Still, your mother's smile shined brightly at you when you turned to follow the King out of his throne room. As you left you caught a glimpse of yourself in one of the mirrors that surrounded you. Deep dark circles framed your eyes, you could hardly recognize yourself. Now you understood why the King wanted to take the business part of your first meeting in the morning.
You and your mother ate by yourselves. The rest of the Jeon family was already fast asleep, the King told you. As soon as you finished eating you were led to your room. When you tried asking for Eunji, they told you that she had taken her place in the servants' quarters already. They asked if they should wake her for you, but you declined and let another servant undress you for the night.
Your room was round, much like the architecture outside. It must be in one of the many towers, you took a mental note to ask for a guide of the castle's many rooms as soon as possible. The bed was in the middle of the room, and there was a small vanity table prepared for you, as well as a wardrobe and a partition wall for you to get dressed behind. The room's wallpaper gave the illusion of looking like velvet, and the dark red color accommodates nicely with the golden details. Most importantly, at one end of the room, there was a door leading to a balcony that overlooked the garden. Outside the glass doors, you saw the most peculiar thing: flowers in bloom during autumn. The servant took off your outer layers for you and was about to leave you to take care of the rest yourself, leaving your nightgown on the bed.
"Excuse me..." you said before they could leave. "How can there be flowers in bloom in the garden? It's late autumn already."
"These flowers last until the frost starts to come in. The Queen likes to keep as much color in her garden for as long as she can," one of the servant explained.
"Oh... thank you," you said. "You may leave now."
The servant bowed and left you alone. You approached the glass doors, more of the flowers appearing in front of you. They had a vibrant purple and magenta color. It was late, but you just had to take a closer look. You opened the doors to the balcony and stepped out. It was cold, and the wind flew right through the thin material of your dress. Without the extra layers, the cold was much more prominent. But you didn't mind, instead, you leaned a bit further over the edge of the balcony to look closer at the flowers.
"Maybe Persephone left a piece of herself in this garden..." You sighed.
"You should go back inside," you heard a voice say from below you.
You quickly backed away from the balcony with a small shriek. It had merely surprised you to hear a voice in the dark, you weren't necessarily scared. In fact, you were intrigued - so you approached the edge again. In the garden stood a tall man with dark black hair. He was wearing all black: black pants, a black nightshirt, and black shoes. Of course you hadn't seen him.
"Who are you?" you asked, "Why are you outside my window?"
"I didn't mean to be outside your window," he said, ignoring your first question. "I like to visit the garden when the moon is out."
You looked up, seeing a slither of a moon there. A new moon. It didn't bring much light, but it was enough to look over the garden - especially combined with the light coming from the candles in your room. Looking back at the man, you smiled.
"So you visit the garden every night?" you asked.
"Only when there is a moon," he answered.
"Then I will see you again soon," you said.
"You might." He spoke wearily. "Is that something you would like?"
"I would. You seem mysterious. I like mysteries."
He let out a laugh, and you thought that you could hear the bells ringing. Like a silver spoon softly striking a crystal glass, that's what his laugh made you feel. Elegant and light. You wanted oh so desperately to hear it again.
"I heard you speak of Persephone before. Are you interested in Greek mythology?" he asked.
"Only a little," you said truthfully. "I had a few books about it as a child. The story of Persephone stuck out to me."
"It's a bit romantic, I suppose."
"It's tragic," you corrected him.
"How is it tragic?" he asked with an amused smile. "Because of the kidnapping?"
"Well, even if we look past the kidnapping it is still tragic," you said. "She doesn't get to choose. Ever. The most she got to choose was when she ate the pomegranate. Other than that, it is decided for her that she has to travel between worlds. It is tragic because every autumn and spring she has to leave something important to her."
"Isn't it the best option? For both Hades and the people?"
"No." You shake your head. "I would've wanted to choose one of the two. Either having to give up my dearest, or to give up my people. Otherwise, I would have to go through the same pain every time I have to leave. While also, may I add, knowing that they are in pain as well."
"You would damn the world to an eternal winter to be with someone you love? Or break someone's heart to give the people eternal spring?" His eyebrows furrowed. "Isn't it selfish?"
"What isn't selfish?" You laughed, not because it was particularly funny but because it felt like such an obvious answer. "Every action we take is selfish, whether we realize it or not."
"How depressing of a thought," he said. "You don't think people can do selfless good?"
"I think people can try," you said. "Trying is wonderful, in fact, but I don't think anyone can ever succeed."
"You have a peculiar mind," the man muttered with a small smile playing on his lips.
"So I have been told," you said. "... do you know the name of these flowers?"
"It's Phlox." He leaned down and picked a flower from the bushes, "It's a Greek word, actually. It means flame."
You watched as he looked around, and then took a sprung up your balcony. It wasn't high up from the ground, so he easily climbed up just enough to hand you the flower he had picked. You leaned over the edge of the marble railing, looking down at him. Now that you could see him better, you took time to appreciate his sculpted features and piercing eyes.
"Thank you," you mumbled and accepted the flower.
"My Lady." He bowed his head slightly before jumping down. "I wish you a good night's sleep."
"Goodnight," you said and watched as the stranger walked away, back into the castle.
When you woke up the morning after it was because someone was pulling your blinds aside, allowing the sun to rudely startle you awake.
"Good morning, Princess," Eunji greeted as cheerily as ever.
"Good morning..." You sighed. "Did you sleep well?"
"I slept very well, my Lady." She smiled brightly at you. "They are all so nice here. We had a wonderful time at breakfast. Oh, and speaking of breakfast. The King has called you to come eat breakfast with them. The entire family will be there this time."
"Right..." You groaned and sat up. "Did I bring any good gowns for this occasion?"
"You certainly did, my Lady." Eunji happily walked over to your dresser and pulled out a light blue dress with poofy sleeves. "This is quite romantic, is it not? Perfect for your first time meeting the Prince."
The Prince. Prince Jeon Sungho. Your future husband. A sigh escaped your lips at the thought... and your mind couldn't help but drift to the man from the other night. What if it was Sungho? He never said his name, and with his beauty, he could definitely be a prince. You straightened your back and turned to Eunji with a polite expression on your face.
"I'll use that one then," you said and got out of bed.
Seeing the castle in the daylight further gave you the impression that it was built to look welcoming. The windows were big, now with the daylight they no longer looked hollow, and the walls were light in color. It was such a drastic difference from the man you had seen last night. If it truly was the Prince, then he was a walking contradiction.
Eunji only left your side once you made it to the door of the dining room. When the doors open your nose was flooded with an amazing smell. Fresh bread, vanilla, and all kinds of fruity smells - anything that would make your mouth water. You were starving.
"Ah, Princess Y/N, you made it," the King said from his place at the end of the table.
"I'm sorry for my late arrival," you said and made your way to an empty seat.
Before you could sit down, a man in front of you stood up. For a moment you thought it was the man from last night, but his eyes were different - they weren't as piercing - and he had a wider jaw. And unlike the man from last night, his hair was perfectly slicked back.
"I am Prince Sungho, my Princess," he said softly. "I am pleased to make your acquaintance."
"It is very good to meet you, Prince Sungho," you said and tried your best not to seem disappointed.
The two of you bowed your heads as you sat down. His eyes were constantly on you, you could feel them practically burning into your skin. You didn't return his gaze. It wasn't because he wasn't handsome enough, he was very handsome, but he wasn't the man from last night. It made you question who the stranger truly was.
"Sungho has suggested that we go out for a ride after breakfast," the Queen piped up. "Hopefully, my other son will be able to join us then."
"You have another son?" your mother, who was seated next to you, asked.
"Oh yes, we do," the King said with a proud smile. "He's a bit more bashful than his brother, so he didn't join us for breakfast. Although, if you ask him - he will say that he was feeling sick."
"Do you think that a ride would be agreeable, Lady Y/N?" Sungho asked you.
His eyes were still burning into you, and it was almost difficult to return his gaze. Yet you forced yourself to do so with a pleasant smile. Now wasn't the time to make enemies with sly remarks.
"Oh, yes. I think that sounds lovely." You nodded.
The second son of the Jeon family was nowhere to be seen when you got to the stables. You had changed into more appropriate clothing for riding, which Sungho took note of.
"So it's not just the clothes that make my Lady so beautiful," he said with a charming smile.
"I guess not." You looked down at your clothes and then back up at him. "Thank you, Prince Sungho."
The Prince was handsome, kind, and loved to hear your opinion on many different topics. You found yourself drawn to him because of this. During the ride he showed great gentlemanship, helping you on and off your horse, and he matched his riding pace to fit yours. He was all a woman could ever dream of... yet you found yourself thinking of the mystery man from last night. The way his piercing gaze seemed to look into your soul, or the way his fingertips touched your hand when he gave you that flower that was still on your bedside table. You had thoroughly enjoyed the banter the two of you made, and not in the same way you could appreciate the way the Prince spoke.
Once the evening came you were excited to see him again. However, during the day dark clouds had started coming in over the horizon. It was raining heavily and the moon was nowhere in sight. You remembered his words: "I like to visit the garden when the moon is out". A sigh escaped your lips as you sat down on your bed.
"Is everything alright, my Lady?" Eunji asked.
"Oh, I'm just fine..." You turned to her with a sudden need to tell someone about the handsome stranger. "Could you... perhaps keep a secret for me, Eunji?"
"Of course, my Lady."
She sat down on the bed beside you, as she had many nights before this. Eunji was as close as you had to a friend, and you always told her everything. You trusted her, and you had to tell someone of the man.
"Yesterday evening I was out on the balcony...", you paused and looked at her, "I saw this man there... dark hair, tall... handsome."
The rain started pouring outside as you told Eunji of the man. A constant smile was on Eunji's lips, clearly happy about you speaking of a potential love interest. It wasn't something you had done in the past, as you never bothered with it before. You thought you had your whole life ahead of you to deal with romance.
"I thought it might be the Prince," you said which only made Eunji's smile grow wider. "... but it wasn't. While they were similar, he just... it wasn't the same."
"Oh..." Her smile quickly faded. "I shouldn't advise you to have affections toward anyone but the Prince... but you seem very intrigued by this mysterious gentleman."
"I am, but it won't get in the way of my marriage. I promise." You let out a breath that you hadn't realized you had been holding in, "I have gone too far to screw this up for a man I met once."
Your eyes wandered to the window, where the rain was still falling heavily. Eunji put her hand on top of yours, showing her support silently.
"I just needed to tell someone of what had happened." You look back at her with a warm smile. "I cannot tell you how happy I am that you would listen."
"Of course, my Lady," she said.
"I probably just got excited to talk to someone," you reassured yourself. "There's not much else to it."
Eunji left your side to blow out all the candles in your room. You thanked her and bid her goodnight before she left. Laying in your bed, listening to the rainfall, and praying that you would never see the man again.
The doors to the dining room opened and you stepped inside. Unlike the day before, you were fairly early. Only the King, the Queen, and your mother were in the room.
"Good morning," you said as you walked insid. "If I may, I would like to start presenting ideas of what we could do for the kingdom's-"
The door opened yet again. You turned around expecting your arranged fiancé but were met with another familiar face. The stranger from the garden. He looked at you, and you could tell he recognized you, but he kept quiet.
"Ah, finally!" the Queen stood up and motioned for the man in front of you. "This is my second son, Prince Wonwoo. Wonwoo, darling, this is Princess Y/N - your brother's fiancé."
Your mouth fell into a small "o" shape as you looked between the two. Without hesitation, Wonwoo's face fell into a polite smile as he reached to shake your hand. Unlike just a second ago, there was no recognition for you in his eyes.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, my Lady," he said and kissed the back of your hand. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to greet you before, I wasn't feeling well. Although, I am in much better condition now."
You could hear the King chuckle behind you, supposedly at the fact that Wonwoo claimed that he was ill. His hand was warm in yours, and you wish he hadn't let go just yet.
"The pleasure's all mine, your Majesty," you said and hoped that you didn't look all too flustered, "You missed a very nice ride yesterday."
"So I have heard," he said. "My brother told me all about it."
As if on cue, the door opened again and Prince Sungho stepped in. Everyone greeted him a good morning, and you sadly had to watch Wonwoo walk away. He sat on the other side of the table, diagonally from you.
"So you wanted to speak of plans, Y/N," the King said suddenly. "Please, do enlighten me."
During breakfast you told the King of the plans you had to make your kingdom blossom once again, which would in turn help their kingdom after your marriage was set in stone. Wonwoo's eyes were on you at all times, and whenever you would glance over at him you would stumble over your words. You didn't mean to, there was just something about him that made your heart race.
As soon as breakfast ended, Wonwoo was out the door. You didn't even have time to say goodbye. Sungho was quick to step in front of you, hindering you from following the younger prince.
"I heard nobody's given you a tour of the castle yet." He held out his arm to you. "May I have the honor of doing so myself?"
You looked back at your mother, who was giving you a supportive smile, then back at Sungho. His eyes were much warmer than his brother's. At the thought of Wonwoo, you glanced over to the door he left through. Maybe you would see him again if you took this tour.
"You may." You nodded and met his eyes once again.
"You've seen the throne room," he said as you walked through the mirror-filled room.
"Why the mirrors, if I may ask?" you said.
"It makes the room look bigger." He looked around. "I suppose one could also always know who's behind one's back with these mirrors."
A hum echoed from your mouth as you looked around. Sungho had been showing you around the castle. A quick visit to the servant's quarters, a look into the kitchen, the garden, the King's study, the drawing room, and many many staircases. Now you were back where you had started your story in this castle.
"Would you like to see the ballroom?" he asked and placed his hand over yours, which was still hanging on his arm.
"I would love to." You gave him a polite smile.
The two of you walked across the King's throne room and through a grand door. In there was a big round room, the biggest room in the castle you were sure. The roof was tall and painted with beautiful images of angels and knights and other such things that one would paint on a ceiling. Surrounding the area were big pillars, on which leaned a smaller balcony of sorts. There was a small staircase to go up there.
"It's gorgeous," you said. "I can only imagine the festivities you could hold in here."
"Does my Lady like dancing?" Sungho asked.
"I do." You nodded. "Although I won't say I'm very good at it."
"Nonsense." Sungho chuckled. "I'm sure you're as good as you are beautiful."
You only smiled at him, for you had nothing to say back.
"This is the room furthest from the garden and your room in the West wing," he commented. "So if there is a ball you can be sure that you will get the least amount of disturbance."
"What else is in the West wing?" you asked.
"Well, there's the library." He pondered for a bit. "There's not much else in the West wing. We call it the quiet wing for a reason. That's why it's the best bedroom in the castle."
"You have a library in the West wing?" You almost gaped at him.
"Yes of course." He nodded. "Would you like me to show you?"
"I would like that very much, your Majesty."
As you walked through the corridors together you tried mapping all the rooms out in your head. On one end there was your room, and this supposed library you had only just heard about, and on the other end was the ballroom. Outside the ballroom seemed to be another garden, or a labyrinth of sorts, which you were told could lead you to the West wing's garden. How, you couldn't understand quite yet. The servants' hall was under the dining room area, which was accessed through a well-hidden door. The King's throne room was quite central to the castle, and in the North wing were most of the bedrooms.
When you reached the library, Sungho opened the door for you. You basically flew into the room. Books were filling all of the bookshelves, which were as tall as the entire walls.
"I take it that you like this room," he said with a chuckle.
"Oh, more than any other room," you said silently and walked up to one of the bookshelves to look at the books.
Rustling was heard from beside you, and you snapped your head in the direction of the noise. Wonwoo walked out from behind one of the bookshelves. He bowed his head at you.
"It's my favorite room too," he said quietly with a peculiar smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you, I was just looking for a book."
He held up a purple book. The young prince looked as handsome as ever. His hair was messy, but pushed away from his eyes, and his clothes weren't exactly smooth down either. Nevertheless, Prince Wonwoo looked like a dream - like a man from one of the fairytales you used to read as a child, or at least he looked like you had always imagined them to look. You could only stare at him with wide eyes, at a loss for all words. Surely he must find you absolutely idiotic.
"It's alright, brother," Sungho answered for you. "We are just looking around the castle."
"Ah... then you've been in the ballroom, I suppose." He looked back at you. "It's really beautiful."
"It certainly is," you managed to get out.
Wonwoo was smiling at you, but his eyes were still so piercing. You couldn't read him whatsoever. He excused himself and left the room. You had to force yourself to not look after him as he stepped away. Once you heard the door close, you turned to Sungho with a bright, plastered on smile and asked him to keep showing you around.
Later that evening, you got ready for bed. When Eunji had left, you practically leaped out on the balcony in nothing but your silky, pale pink nightgown. The moon was out, and you could hear someone whistling. You opened the glass doors, hearing it much clearer now. Your heart started racing as you stepped out onto the cold stone.
"The Lady returns," he said as you walked out. "I thought I had frightened you the other night."
"The moon wasn't out yesterday," you replied. "I thought you wouldn't be here."
"I left once the rain started pouring down," he said casually. "So you're the Princess, huh?"
"I would have told you, but you wouldn't tell me who you were," you said as you leaned against the marble. "Prince Wonwoo."
He finally looked at you, only to quickly look away again. There was a small smile playing on his lips, and his ears had turned an adorable shade of pink.
"You should put something else on." He took a deep breath. "It's not proper... and you're going to catch a cold."
"I'm not staying out here for long." You shrugged with a teasing smile.
"You're not?" He glanced at you, a slightly worried tone in his voice.
Oh. This isn't good. Your heart was pounding in your chest now. The little power of the conversation you felt like you had was now completely gone.
"I mean..." You sighed, "I shouldn't be out here so late at night. You should go inside too."
He looked at you and everything around you just seemed to disappear. Only he was still there, and as he started approaching the balcony, much like the other night, you didn't utter a word to stop him. As he neared you hoped that he could finally close the gap filled with meaningless air between you. His hands gripped the edge of the balcony, right in between where your hands were resting. When he pulled himself up you stood face to face. You had never been this close to him before. He smelled of lavender and something dark and woody. His eyes were still strictly looking into yours, piercing through your soul. He opened his mouth to speak, and you looked down at his lips.
"I do not wish to cause you mental turmoil, but I must tell you that the moment I laid eyes on you that night I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen." He spoke quietly and sincerely, as if he was afraid to say it any louder. "And if the situation had been different I wouldn't hesitate to try to win your affection. I waited for you in the rain last night, wishing that I could get another glimpse of you, to hear your voice again."
You sucked in a sharp breath and looked back into his eyes. His beautiful brown eyes. There was something so thrilling about having him so near, about him confessing his undying attraction to you. Your head was completely fogged up, you didn't know what you were doing, but your hands cupped his face and kissed him. He tasted sweet and reinvigorated, it reminded you of a lemon pie - the tart energizing flavor that never seemed to leave your mouth. His lips were soft and moved against yours with a slow, burning passion. Your hands traveled down to his collar, just to try to bring him a bit closer. But Wonwoo pulled away, his face one of horror as if he had just found something so very wrong.
"We shouldn't be doing this..." he murmured. "I am so terribly sorry."
You tried to stop him, to grab him, and tell him that no one had to know; anything to get him close to you again. He didn't listen. With fleeting footsteps, he left the garden. You looked over at the flowers. The weather had started growing colder, and with it came the frost. Much like you, the purple flowers in the garden had started withering away.
The next morning you asked Eunji to get you breakfast in bed and to tell the household that you weren't feeling well. You couldn't bare to come across Wonwoo again. Even if you looked past your embarrassment, you didn't want to see him again knowing that you could never hold him as you had last night.
After breakfast, you put on a robe over your nightgown and made your way to the library. The weather was beautiful today, and you heard from Eunji that the family was going out for a walk in the nearby forest. That meant the castle was yours to wander in theory, but you only wanted to visit the library. As you walked in there, your eyes immediately landed on a singular book laying on a table. There was a couch near the table, and you took a seat and started reading. It wasn't anything interesting, only a book about some old war, but it was enough to distract you.
The door to the library opened and you locked eyes with Wonwoo. Your eyes widened as you quickly pulled your robe tighter around your chest. One of his hands was still on the door handle, the other one hanging by his side. You watched his hand grip around nothing before letting his fingers fall. Neither of you spoke, you only watched each other. Footsteps echoed outside the door, and you heard your name being called by someone. Wonwoo ran to you, pulling you aside and in between two bookshelves. You were shielded from the view from the door. Wonwoo's arms were tightly wrapped around your waist, your chest pressed against his. Still, neither of you spoke. You looked up at him with big, worried eyes. He swallowed and looked away from you. The library door opened.
"My Lady? Are you in there?" It was Sungho. "... strange. Brother? Are you in here?"
Wonwoo shut his eyes tightly in annoyance. Of course, his brother had seen him walk in here. He motioned for you to stay quiet, and left you alone to greet his brother.
"I'm right here." He cleared his throat. "But I haven't seen the Princess."
"Her chambermaid said she would be here..." Sungho trailed off. "Maybe she was mistaken. If you see her, please tell her that I'm looking for her."
"Of course."
The library door shut. You were left feeling breathless. For a moment, you didn't dare move - the thought of meeting Sungho's eyes after his brother had just lied for you was enough to make you shiver. After a deep breath, you stepped out from in between the bookcases. When you turned around Wonwoo was right in front of you again.
"Do you always parade yourself around in such indecent clothing?" he hissed at you.
"Excuse me? You forget yourself," you answered quickly.
"What? Did you think I would walk in here and take you on the couch? Is that what you wanted?" Wonwoo's eyes were fiery, but you couldn't tell if it was out of anger or lust. "Is that why you're in nothing but your nightgown yet again?"
"I was informed that everyone had left the castle," you said sternly. "I wouldn't go out of my room otherwise, especially not like this."
Wonwoo quieted down, clearly flustered by his earlier assumption. You were left feeling like your heart would beat out of your chest. Truly, you didn't know what had happened to you. Any logic left in you had flown out the window, now replaced with attraction for the man in front of you.
"... about last night-" you started but you were quickly cut off by Wonwoo.
"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." He grabbed your hand, and his touch sent magic running through your veins. "As I said if the situation was different..."
His eyes trailed down your face to your lips, then down your neck, to your collar bones, until they ended at your exposed chest when he reminded himself to look you back in the eye.
"My Lord-"
"I am not a Lord," he murmured and cradled your cheek in his palm.
"My Prince..." You leaned into his touch.
"Just call me Wonwoo," he said. "Let's stop with the formalities. I don't want to be a prince with you."
His hand was so warm and soft. You pressed your hand to the back of his, just to bring it even closer to your cheek. As you peered up at him through your lashes you saw how his breathing hitched. Sadly, you had to let go of him. Your hands removed the one that he held to your cheek, and you dropped your arms back to your sides.
"Prince Wonwoo..." you said despite his request. "I think you're right. This can't be. Besides, isn't it foolish to act on feelings toward a person you've only just met?"
"I suppose..." Wonwoo looked away from you to hide his disappointment. "But I do not feel like I have only just met you, Princess."
"It does not make it any less wrong," you murmured.
His gaze returned to meet yours. Fireworks set off in your stomach, and you wanted to touch him again. You wished you had never made him let go. This couldn't possibly be wrong if it felt so good.
"Let's be good friends," you managed to say.
"I think I can manage." He smiled.
Oh, his smile was so wonderful. It made you feel like you were taking in a fresh breath of air during a chilly summer morning. You wanted to reach up and touch his face, cup his cheek, and gently swipe your thumb over his cheekbone. Every fiber of your being told you to lean in and kiss him, everything except your principles.
"To good friends." You held out your hand for him to shake.
"Good friends." He took it.
Autumn passed, and in came winter. Most nights you would sit by a big fireplace in the drawing room. The only big problem with the Quiet wing was its lack of places to put fires. Whenever you would go to sleep, you would put on at least two layers of clothing and have extra blankets. The balcony was always closed now, though you had many times thought of visiting Wonwoo out there. He was acting normally around you, although you could feel him watching you when he thought you couldn't notice. Your method was working out just fine.
Snowy days pass and you grow closer to Prince Sungho. One evening you're sitting in the drawing room, in front of the fireplace, when he walks in. You watch as he approaches you. It's only the two of you in the room. He seems nervous.
"I really am embarrassed that your room doesn't have proper heating," he said for what must have been the hundredth time. "The offer of changing rooms still stands, whenever you want to."
"You're too kind, Prince Sungho." You smile at him before turning back to the fire. "But I quite like my room, and it's not all that horrible... I also have a reason to come in here every evening, where I may see you."
The Prince was surprised by your flirtatious advances, as he always was. You patted on the couch right next to you, asking him to sit down. At this point, you know just what to say and do to make him weak in the knees. Which you had been using to your advantage. With the attention of a man such as Prince Sungho, you cannot possibly begin to think about Wonwoo. Even if it didn't feel real, even if it all felt like you were playing pretend with your fiancé.
"I have loved to have you here," the Prince said as he sat down. "Truly, it has been a gift."
"I have loved to be here," you responded.
"... but I have yet to do the thing that I promised." He pulled out a small box from his pocket. "I know that I've offered my hand in marriage to you already, but I want it to be official. I want everyone to know."
He opens the box and reveals a diamond ring. With his slim fingers, he picks it up. You smile widely and put your hand in his. His eyes ask you for your permission, and you nod. Slowly, he pushes the ring onto your left ring finger.
"It's beautiful," you hum and watch the diamond sparkle in the light of the fire.
"It's one of a kind," he muses. "Just like you."
You can't help but think of Wonwoo. How his eyes sparkled just like this diamond the night he had kissed you. But when you look up at the man in front of you, it's not Wonwoo, and you have to face reality.
"We should start planning for the wedding," you muttered.
"Soon, my love." He holds your face in his hands. "I want to celebrate you first. We shall throw a ball in your honor."
"My honor?"
"In honor of our official engagement, then." He gave you a toothy smile, the kind of boyish smile that would make any girl swoon. "After that, I will give you all the resources to plan a wedding... I'll find the best people in the land."
You wondered what Sungho truly knew about you. How could he be so infatuated with a person whom he's only spoken to in person for a few months? How can he promise you everything when you still see a stranger when you look at him? You thanked him and stood up from your place by the fireplace. He looked up at you with admiration, something that you cannot give back to him.
"I think I will go to my chambers, it's late," you said.
"Sleep well, my Lady." Sungho watched you as you left the room.
After a few weeks, an entire ball had been planned and executed. It was the day of the big night. The evening would start with the King announcing your official engagement, and let the guests celebrate with a night full of wine and dancing. A group of maids had brought you a dress, a present from the Queen. The corset top sat tightly on your torso. The sweetheart neckline accentuated your collarbone area and the puffy, short sleeves gave it a romantic look. Flower prints in lace covered the top elegantly and subtly, which contrasted the many chiffon layers of the skirt. At first glance, the dress looked white, but it was in fact a light lilac color. As the maids helped you put it on, one of them gave you a note from the Queen herself.
I heard you liked the purple flowers in my garden, so this will suit you well.
Your body froze. Only two people knew of your fondness of the garden: Eunji and Wonwoo. If Eunji had told her, she would've asked you first. Maybe the Queen had asked her not to tell, to make it a surprise... but if Wonwoo had said something it would be suspicious. Either way, you couldn't be worrying about this now.
"Everything is done, Princess," one of the maids said in a soft-spoken tone.
"Thank you." You did your best to smile at her.
When you looked at yourself in the mirror, you felt like crying. You should be jumping with glee at this moment in your life, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. A night which was supposed to be about your engagement to the Prince, and so far you had spent most of it worrying about another man. You knew he would be there, and your mind had immediately wandered to what he would think of you - if he would find you beautiful. This was all so wrong.
They announced your name before you entered the ballroom. Whispers and gasps echoed through the large room as you walked towards the King and his oldest son. The King offered you his hand, which you took, and let him guide you to hold Sungho's hand. You looked out over the crowd, meeting star-struck and emotional faces. More importantly, you met Wonwoo's piercing gaze. As the King held a short speech in the engagement's honor, you never looked away from Wonwoo. Unlike his brother, he was wearing all black. His suit was lined with golden details, and a few golden rings adorned his fingers. He had a cape hanging over one shoulder, and he wore a pair of well-polished boots. In a crowd full of white-clad people, he stood out like a sore thumb. You wanted to tease him about dressing wrong for the occasion, but that would be too close to flirting.
"That is why I am happy to announce the engagement of my oldest son, Prince Sungho, and the lovely Princess Y/N. You have my blessing, and I know that this union will be a wonderful one." The King brought you back to your senses as he mentioned your name. "To the happy couple! Let's celebrate!"
"Would you like to dance, my Lady?" Sungho whispered in your ear as the two of you walked out on the dancefloor.
You're already leading me there, it would just be awkward to say no now...
"I would love to." You put on your best smile and got into position.
The crowd watched as you danced. After a minute, others joined in but you saw Wonwoo still leaning against one of the pillars. You locked eyes, and you couldn't look away.
"You seem distracted, my Lady," Sungho said.
"Oh, I'm just... as I've told you, I'm not very good at dancing. I guess I'm just nervous." You looked back at him.
"Don't worry, when you're in my hands you're safe."
"I'm sure." You nodded and looked past him again, but now Wonwoo was gone.
The song ended, and Sungho eventually left your side to talk to some of his friends. You were left standing alone in a corner. Now that the announcement had been made and people had paraded you around, nobody seemed to care where you went. A sigh escaped your lips as you relaxed against the cold wall.
"Tired already?" Someone appeared beside you.
When you saw him your eyes widened, and you felt your cheeks grow warm. Wonwoo had looked good from afar, but this close he was truly a sight to behold.
"It's alright, I also usually keep to myself at these kinds of things," he added.
"My fiancé just left me to talk to other people, and there's no one for me to speak with," you explained.
"You can talk to me." He gave you a delicate smile.
"... it's not weird for you?" you murmured.
"Of course it is. But not a day goes by where my life is normal or goes my way. You get used to it." He held out his hand to you. "Am I worthy enough to dance with you, Princess?"
"People will see." you looked out over the ballroom, nobody had seen you just yet.
"Then they will see two people dancing, two friends, nothing more." He took your hand and put it on his shoulder. "You just think they will talk because you want there to be more to it."
Wonwoo's put his hand on your waist, and with his other hand, he grabbed yours. The two of you swayed in the shadows, out of view from anyone else. Being in his arms made you feel safe, like you could truly rest. When the song ended he let go of you but kept holding your hand. He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on the back of your hand.
"Thank you, Princess," he said and took a step away from you.
"You're a wonderful dancer." You let out a giggle, a genuine laugh bubbling up from your stomach for the first time in a while. "You must be a favorite amongst the ladies."
"Oh, definitely..." he said sarcastically. "Especially the married ones."
If it weren't for the fact that your fiancé was approaching, you would've landed a soft smack on his arm. Wonwoo took another step back and greeted his brother.
"I'm glad you two get along so well." Sungho placed an arm around your waist.
"Oh, he's a swell conversationalist," you said and internally cringed at your words of choice.
"Really?" Sungho's eyebrows shot up. "I've never thought of you as the chatty type, brother."
"I have my moments," Wonwoo replied, keeping his eyes on you. "But I should go. I hope you have a good rest of your night."
The rest of the night went rather smoothly. You were introduced to many people and danced with even more. From time to time you would catch a glimpse of Wonwoo, but not nearly enough for your liking. When the clock struck midnight, you realized that people weren't leaving yet. You asked Sungho when it was time to end, and he responded that it usually goes on until dawn. When you heard that you excused yourself and said that you would be leaving for your chambers early. Sungho bid you goodnight, and reassured you that leaving early was no issue at all. If it weren't for the many distractions you faced, you might have actually been able to fall in love with him.
You took the shortcut through the King's throne room, knowing that everyone else would be trying to leave through the ballroom's main entrance. In the mirror-filled room, you caught your reflection. Your hair was in complete disarray, and your face had taken on a flustered color. Slowly, you approached one of the many mirrors. The dress was still beautiful, and you reminded yourself to thank the Queen for the gift as soon as you could. The door behind you opened, startling you, and when you looked through the mirror's reflection you saw Wonwoo.
"It's only me," he said, as if that made it any better, and closed the door.
His footsteps were slow, almost cautious. It was as if he was giving you time to tell him to stop. You didn't say a word, you couldn't as your throat had dried up within a matter of seconds as you laid eyes on him. Wonwoo approached you. He had the same flustered look on his face as you did. It must have been the wine. It must have also been the wine that made you want him so. And, yes, it must have been the wine that made Wonwoo wrap his arms around your waist from behind. His large figure easily engulfed you, and you leaned into his embrace. Wonwoo put his head on your shoulder and looked into your eyes through the mirror.
"I have been watching you all night, my love," he whispered, his speech slightly slurred.
One of his hands pushed away the hair from the shoulder his chin was leaning on. His fingertips grazed your neck, making you shudder. It was difficult to keep your eyes open when everything Wonwoo did felt so wonderful.
"I have seen you watching," you mumbled. "I was looking for you as well."
In a moment of pure bliss, his lips met your neck. A peck, that turned into two and then three. They were leading up from the crook of your neck to your jaw.
"You must be the most intoxicating goddess I have ever had the honor of being in the presence of," he mumbled against your skin, "Have you seduced me, my Princess?"
His Princess.
"What if I have?" You smile at him through the mirror.
He looked back at you with a smile, and a gaze that you couldn't read. Wonwoo's words lingered in the air as he pressed a final kiss right behind your ear.
"I would have to tell your husband." He took his lips away from your skin, much to your dismay.
"He's not my husband yet." You sighed. "Let me take part in my freedom for a while longer."
He guided your face, with his pointer finger and thumb on your chin, to look at him. Wonwoo held the galaxy in his eyes, and the only reason you could ever look away was to glance at his lips - and it was only for a short moment, as seeing his eyes on you, and only you, was the most euphoric feeling you had ever felt.
"I wish to have a taste of you, my love," he murmured, his eyes filled with lust. "Will you allow me the delight of feeling your lips against mine again?"
You didn't respond, instead, you pressed your lips to his greedily. Your body turned around to fully face him, and you pressed your chest against his. He pulled away to look around the room, and a paranoid feeling entered your chest.
"Someone could see us," he said.
"My chambers are far away from the ballroom." You took his face in your hands and place another kiss on his lips.
"I have heard that your chambers are freezing during this time of year," he muttered against your lips.
"Don't worry, I will warm you up." You smiled and grabbed his hand.
The two of you ran as fast as you could through the castle halls. His hand never left yours. You were lucky that nobody seemed to be around because you had a hard time keeping quiet. Laughs spilled out of your lips every other second. From time to time, you would stop and slip into a dark corner to embrace him and feel his lips on yours again.
When you reached your chambers, you locked the door behind you. Wonwoo's hands stayed on you every second and you adored the attention. With every step toward your bed, he placed another kiss on your skin. You were utterly drunk off of his contact with your body. Which is why a whine escaped your lips when he let you go. You sat down on the bed, both sleeves of your dress having had slipped down.
"Tell me to leave now if you truly do not want me, my love." He was panting, his hands trembling ever so slightly. "I will not hold myself back if we go any further."
"Please..." You grabbed his hand. "Have your way with me."
The very next morning you woke up to a sharp knock on your door. You stirred in your sleep, your hand touching a naked body beside you. Wonwoo was fast asleep beside you. A gasp escaped your lips as you pulled the covers up to cover your bare chest.
"Your Majesty!" Another sharp knock echoed through the wooden door as Eunji's shrill voice shocked you awake. "I have to get you ready for breakfast!"
"Just give me a second, Eunji!" you shouted back.
Your voice woke up Wonwoo, who grabbed your waist to hold you closer. He was completely unaware of the situation you were in. If it hadn't been for the situation you found yourself in, you would've loved to stay tangled in Wonwoo's web for the entire morning. However, now was sadly not the time. In a hushed voice, you whispered to him that he had to get out of bed. With a grumpy look, he got up and gathered his clothes off the floor. Another knock scared you, and you ended up pushing him behind the partition wall. You put on your nightgown and walked over to the door, hoping that you didn't look like a flustered mess.
"My apologies, Eunji." You smiled at her when you opened the door. "I was very tired from the ball last night..."
"I understand that my Lady, but you shouldn't lock your door when you know I don't have a key," she explained with a worried look.
"I know, I know... I just wanted to be safe, you know with so many people around," you lied right through your teeth.
"Well, we don't have time to chat. Let's get you ready!" Eunji pushed inside your room and walked over to the wardrobe.
You could see Wonwoo's feet under the small gap in the partition wall. Panic set in as you realized what a catastrophe this could end in. Eunji handed you your slip dress and told you to put it on. In a state of panic, you went behind the partition wall and stood in front of Wonwoo so that his feet wouldn't be visible anymore. A sleepy smile was painted on his lips, and it was hard to surpress your own smile at the sight. He had only managed to put on his pants, his shirt still hanging from his hands. With an annoyed sigh, you took it from him and started pushing it over his head.
"Are you okay back there, my Lady?" Eunji asked as Wonwoo put his arms through the sleeves.
"Oh, I'm just... feeling a bit sick from the wine," you stammered out.
Wonwoo's arms wrapped around you as soon as he had put on his shirt, and your heart almost leapt out of your throat as you heard him lovingly sigh in your ear.
"Well, if you need help I can-"
"No!" you yelled. "No, thank you. I don't need help."
The young Prince let out a soft chuckle, only loud enough for you to hear. You only grew more flustered at his teasing.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm just feeling... self-conscious." You shut your eyes tight. "Could you please put the dress on the bed for me? I'll do the rest by myself."
"Oh, my Lady, you have nothing to be embarrassed about," Eunji assured you. "But if you wish for me to leave, then I shall. I'll be outside the door in case you do end up needing my services."
"Thank you, Eunji." Your breath hitched as you felt Wonwoo's hands grab at your hips.
The door opened and closed, and as soon as it was shut Wonwoo pressed his lips to yours. You put your hands on his chest and smiled against the kiss, pulling away slightly to look at him.
"You're impossible," you murmured softly.
He leaned his forehead against yours and looked deep into your eyes. A chill sent down your spine as Wonwoo started caressing your back. The warm glow of the morning sun filled the room and you found yourself feeling so unbelievably lucky.
"Last night..." he whispered, "Do you regret it?"
"I wish I would have done it sooner," you admitted. "But now I must force you to leave, I'm sure people are looking for you."
"They can keep searching forever..." he muttered and kissed you again.
"People will grow suspicious." You pulled away with a chuckle. "And as much as I'd love to keep kissing you forever, I have enough common sense to know it won't last."
"Let me at least help you get dressed." His hands went to the hem of your short nightgown. "We don't want to keep your maid waiting."
"I'll let you help with the dress she picked out for me," you said and pushed him out of the partition wall.
Your hands worked quickly to take off the nightgown and put on the slip dress. When you walked out you caught Wonwoo feeling the blue velvet material of your dress between his fingers, as if he was studying it carefully. When he noticed you, he handed you the dress. The buttons in the back had already been undone, so all you had to do was step into it and pull the long sleeves over your arms. He motioned for you to turn around. Once your back faced him, Wonwoo slowly worked on buttoning the back of your dress. His lips pressed to the still bare skin where your neck met your back. The dress' collar was high, hiding whatever blemishes that were left from last night's activities.
"Leave the last few unbuttoned..." you whispered, "It'll be more believable that I couldn't reach."
Wonwoo hummed and took his hands away from you. Turning around, you stood face to face with the most lovestruck man you have ever seen. His smile was warm and inviting, creating small lines by his nose, and despite how wonderful this smile was you wanted to kiss it off his lips so badly. And in the beautiful morning glow, his eyes resembled portals of light that you would gladly dive into without questioning what could be on the other side.
"I'll miss you every second you aren't by my side," he said.
"Can we see each other tonight again?" you asked.
"Of course."
Another harsh knock on the door, followed by a kind yet alarming voice that told you to please hurry up.
"Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts," you responded to Eunji, but didn't look away from Wonwoo.
He walked over to the balcony door and opened it. You followed closer, leaning over the railing of the balcony as he climbed down. Before he could leave, he pulled himself up just enough to kiss you again.
"Goodbye, my love," he whispered.
"I'll see you soon," you said and watched him disappear behind the castle walls.
Yet another knock on your door. It made you laugh this time. You hurried inside and closed the door to the balcony. As you straightened out your dress, the door was impatiently pushed open.
"I'm terribly sorry, Eunji," you said. "I couldn't get the last few buttons done."
"You should've called for my help." She sighed. "The Queen has asked for your presence at breakfast to discuss wedding plans."
The wedding. You felt your heart sink. How could you have forgotten about the wedding? One of your hands steadied you against your bed frame, while you held the other one to your stomach.
"Are you alright, my Lady?" Eunji asked as she finished buttoning you up.
"Just nervous..." You took a deep breath.
The wedding had a date. A month after the first day of spring, just to give enough time for preparations. You wished for winter to never end. Persephone could gladly stay by Hades' side, you didn't care. Even though the wedding was all anyone talked about, you hadn't accepted fate just yet. That's why, every night, you would drown your sorrows with the kisses of your lover. Every morning you woke up at dawn to spend more time with him before he had to leave. And when he eventually did have to leave, you could feel your heart getting ripped apart inside your chest.
The constant ache only worsened when you were around Prince Sungho, as guilt had started plaguing you whenever you saw him. The Prince would take you out on rides in the forest, on promenades in the gardens, and he even took you on a boat ride once or twice. All of these exceptional experiences, and yet your favorite moments in the castle were those in your bed laying next to Wonwoo.
As spring approached, you grew more reckless. The constant need of being near Wonwoo only grew stronger, and you did everything you could to keep him by your side.
One evening, when you knew that Wonwoo would be going out for a ride, you walked all alone to the stables to meet him. The snow had started melting away, but you tried not to think about it. Nevertheless, it was still very cold outside and not warm enough for anything to have grown. The warmth of the stables welcomed you quickly, as you walked across the floors to where Wonwoo's favorite horse stood. Just as you were about to turn the corner, Wonwoo peeked out from the small room. A smile spread across his lips as soon as he laid his eyes on you.
"Is anyone else here?" you whispered and looked around.
"Only me," he said and put his arms around your waist. "You must be freezing. Why would you walk outside without a coat?"
"I didn't think to get it." Your arms wrapped around his neck. "And I was in a hurry to see you before you left."
"I was going to go see you tonight, after my ride," he explained with a grin.
"It would be too long of a wait."
"You're so impatient."
One of his hands cupped your cheek and brought you in for a loving kiss. He was so warm, it spread through you as if you were drinking a hot cup of tea. You wanted to melt into him and nest in his chest, to always keep his warmth around you.
"We could run away, you know," he murmured against your lips. "Spring is approaching, there's not much time left..."
"I don't want to think about it..." You put your hands on his chest to create some distance between him and you.
"Y/N, this is the first time we've ever been alone outside of your chambers." He sighed. "When you share your chambers with... someone else, we won't be able to see each other like that."
"We can find a way," you argued.
"We could run away, my love," he said. "We would only bring what was necessary, and we could take two horses. Then we wouldn't have to worry about hiding anymore."
You took a deep breath, leaning your forehead against Wonwoo's chest. While part of you wanted to run away, there was still a big part of you that knew that you had a duty to your people. And that part needed to stay.
"No." You shook your head. "I can't just abandon my kingdom."
Tears pricked the corners of your eyes. You grabbed at his shirt, partly because you were trying to make him stay close to you, but you also didn't want him to see you cry. As your first sob rocked through your body he didn't try to pull you away, he only held you closer. One of his hands soothingly caressed your back, while the other held onto the back of your head.
"I hate it," you sobbed. "I hate it so much."
Wonwoo kept quiet but held you even closer. The stables were so unbelievably quiet, that you had forgotten you were even there. But the door opened, making the two of you quickly separate. Tears were still streaming down your face, and there was nothing Wonwoo could do to comfort you. You whispered goodbye and quickly made your way out of the stables.
After that encounter, you didn't stop meeting in public. Whenever no one else was around, you would take the chance to embrace each other. On this particular day, it was the library. This wretched, cursed day.
"Your chambers are just around the corner," Wonwoo mumbled against your lips. "We could go there."
The two of you were laying on the couch, you on top of him. Your heart felt so full, that you didn't want to move. So, you shook your head at his suggestion and kissed him again. His strong arms held you tightly against his body. Your hands were in his hair, trying to pull him closer to you. It was dark outside, so a few candles were lit around you.
"I love you," you murmured. "I truly do."
"I love you too." He smiled at your confession.
"I wish spring never comes..." You sighed and put your head on his chest.
Wonwoo put his hand along your jawline and brought you back up to face him. His eyes were serious, almost stern - instead of intimidating you, it only made you melt further into him.
"Don't mention spring," he said. "Just forget about it for a moment. For me, my love."
"For you? I'll do anything." You grinned and pressed your lips to his again.
The door swung open and your heart sank to the floor at the sound. When you looked up, you met the eyes of your fiancé. His first worried look turned into sadness, which transformed into anger. Eunji came up behind him with a horrified look on her face, somehow it was both disappointed and apologetic. You got off Wonwoo and fell off the couch in the process, Wonwoo sat up and helped you to your feet.
"What is this?" Sungho asked angrily. "Your chambermaid was worried sick about you, and here you are whoring yourself out for my brother!"
"It's not what it looks like, please-" you tried to plea but he interrupted you.
"I invite you into my home, I promise you all the riches in the land, and this is what you do to me?" He gasped.
"Brother, it's not her fault-"
"Oh, so this is your doing?" Sungho scoffed. "You can't have the throne so you decide to steal my future wife?"
"Please, forgive me, my Prince." You got down on your knees in front of him, "I promise you, this will never happen again. I will marry you when spring comes, we can just forget about all of this."
Sungho only looked down at you, with so much hatred in his eyes. He looked between you and Wonwoo, studying the situation. Suddenly, you felt him grab your hair and pull you up to your feet. You could hear Wonwoo's protests behind you, but you tried not to think of it.
"Don't beg for me," he hissed. "I want you to beg him to never come near you again. Show me that you're only loyal to me."
He turned you around to face Wonwoo. His eyes were full of tears and he seemed to be completely speechless. Your bottom lip quivered. What if you had just run away with him? Everything would've been okay now. You could've lived your life out with him in a small cottage in the middle of nowhere, where no one knew who you were.
"Please, never come near me again," you sobbed out, "I don't ever want to see you again."
"Do you hear that brother?" Sungho taunted. "She doesn't want to see you again. So I suggest you pack up and go on a little trip. If you don't want this... mistake to go public, you will leave the castle until the wedding. You will not see her again until we are wed."
Wonwoo didn't break eye contact with you. It felt like his eyes were telling you that it was all okay. That, despite having said a most horrible thing to him, he still loved you and that he understood your situation. He stood up and walked out of the room, bumping into his older brother's shoulder as he did so. Sungho let go of the grip on your hair and you fell to your knees once again.
"Get her to her chambers, maid," he said to Eunji. "I have other business to attend to."
Eunji rushed to your side and held your trembling body in your arms the best she could. She kept on whispering apologies between her cursing about how you could have been so reckless.
"Princess Y/N," Sungho said from the doorway. "I am doing you a favor. Do not forget this, as I will not forget what you have done."
He walked out of the library and slammed the door behind him. As his footsteps faded, you felt your body lose its strength. You could no longer sit, let alone stand. Eunji had to bring in more maids to help carry you to your bed.
Heartbreak comes in many forms, sometimes physical. You were sick in bed for days, not daring to eating a thing. People grew worried, asking how the wedding would take place if the Princess wasn't well. They only thought you had an illness, not that your heart had been broken into a million pieces. So they treated it like any other illness. Only Eunji was allowed to visit you, that is what you had requested. Although you heard voices outside of your room many times. Most of the time it was your mother, and she was usually crying. Eunji tried to reassure everyone that you just needed to rest and that the sickness would leave your body eventually. One night, she was sitting by your bedside and washing your body with a cloth. You hadn't been able to move, which meant you couldn't bathe.
"I'm hungry," you breathed out between chapped lips.
Eunji went into a frenzy as soon as she heard the words. You had pushed away any food that she had brought you, so your hunger was very welcomed. She put you back down against the pillows and put away her rag and bucket.
"What would you like to eat, my Lady?" she asked with happy tears prickling in her eyes.
"Pomegranates," you whispered and looked over to the balcony. "I want pomegranates."
"Oh... then I shall get you pomegranates, my Lady." She hurried out the room and shouted down the corridor about the news.
The people were static, and people from all over brought you pomegranates. It was hard to get ahold of at this time of year, but people managed. If anyone knew what you had done, you wondered if they would be so keen on trying to please you. It didn't matter now. Soon enough, Eunji brought you a platter of pomegranates. They were displayed nicely, why you didn't know. There were a few sliced pomegranates, as well as a few whole ones, but most importantly there was a bowl of only pomegranate seeds.
"Here you go, my Lady." Eunji sat the platter down in front of you.
"Leave," you whispered.
Eunji nodded and quickly gathered herself and left. You stared at the red fruit in front of you. Persephone ate six of the twelve pomegranate seeds she was given and it gave her six months in the Underworld. With a trembling hand, you took the wooden spoon in the bowl and pushed many pomegranate seeds past your lips. It wasn't enough. You put the spoon away and grabbed a handful of pomegranate seeds from the bowl and shoved them into your mouth. The fruit's juices poured down from the corners of your lips, but you did nothing to stop it. You took more of the seeds and kept shoving them down your throat. The noises that came out of you were disgusting. Gasps and gulps and gargles, but it was drowned out by your thoughts. If you ate enough it would give you an eternity with Wonwoo.
The bowl was empty and, with desperate hands, you clawed at the sliced pomegranates. You ate the white meat around it if you couldn't get the seeds out, and when you finished those you tried to open the whole fruits. You were too weak to even try. He had to be by the balcony now, he had to. You pushed the platter away from you and ripped off the bed sheets. Delirious and quivering, you walked over to the balcony and pulled aside the blinds that were covering the glass door. It was day, but he had to be there already. You opened the door and felt the cold wind against your sweaty body. After finally getting out, you leaned over the railing. He was nowhere to be seen. You desperately looked around, feeling warm tears stream down your face. Eventually, your eyes fell on the tree beside the balcony. Small little green buds had started growing on the otherwise brows twigs. Spring is here.
"No..." Your voice was hoarse "No, no, no..."
You walked over to the tree, it's branches hanging over the balcony, and tried to pull all of the buds off, getting your hand cut open on the sharp branches in the process. A sob came out of your throat as you kept repeating that one word. No. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't be spring already. You stumbled back and looked down at your scathing hand. Blood poured out of all the cuts and you felt sick. You hurled forward, blood-red vomit spewing out of you. All of the pomegranates escaped your stomach. They were rejecting you. There was no savior who could help you now. Everything around you went dark as you fell to the stone floors.
When you woke up you were in bed again, and your body felt much lighter. A man you had never seen before was sitting beside you. Eunji, who was sitting on your other side, explained that he was a physician and was treating you for your illness. He had been feeding you liquids to get your strength back, which was why you felt so much better.
"You are allergic to pomegranates," he explained in an emotionless tone. "I'm guessing you've had one before, but because of the large intake you had a much bigger reaction. If you eat just a little it wouldn't be very noticeable, maybe a slight itch."
"How..." You cleared your throat. "How long was I out?"
"A few days." Eunji said. "Since you've been rapidly getting better, preparations for the wedding have started. They want your opinion on a lot of things... but if you would rather not see anyone, you can tell me and I'll deliver the message."
All hope was out. You had given up.
"No... I'll meet them..."
In a matter of weeks, the wedding was upon you. It was the night before, and you were in your bed. Preparing for your wedding had kept you so preoccupied that you hadn't thought of anything else. Therefore, the knock on your balcony door surprised you. When you looked over you met the eyes of Wonwoo, and your heart broke all over again. You pushed aside your blanket and walked over to the door. Wonwoo embraced you as soon as he could, but you didn't reciprocate.
"I've missed you," he whispered.
"When did you get back?" you asked.
"About an hour ago," he replied. "Listen, I know that last time I asked this of you, you declined... but this time I have a plan."
"Are you asking me to run away with you?" you murmured as he pulled away from you.
"Tomorrow night," he said. "There's a boat by the docks, I'm supposed to go alone. We'll be on a different continent."
"You're leaving? Why now?" you cupped his face in his hands.
"My brother convinced my father that I should try being on my own for a while." He sighed. "He gave me a chance to visit another kingdom we have a treaty with. Once we're there, we can go wherever we want - and nobody will know until it's too late."
"... I don't know if I can choose," you admit softly.
You blamed everyone in the story of Persephone and Hades for giving her such a horrible fate, but maybe it wasn't so bad after all. Oh, how you wished for a compromise now.
"The boat leaves tomorrow night." Wonwoo cupped your cheek in his palm. "I won't force you to do anything, and I'm not trying to convince you to go with me... I'm just giving you another chance."
With that, he leaned down and kissed you. It was soft and sweet. You had longed to kiss him again, but still you felt so heartbroken. He whispered goodbye before disappearing into the night, you knew you wouldn't get another chance to see him before the ceremony.
On the day of the wedding, you could help but cry. Out of anger, sadness, and out of uncertainty. Anger because your father left you to take care of his mess all by yourself. Sadness because you didn't love the man you were about to marry. And uncertainty because you had no idea what choices you would make tonight.
People around you comforted you by saying that it was normal to feel nervous on the big day. You asked to be left alone with Eunji, and for her to do the rest of the preparations for you. She was silent as she was dressing you, and she only spoke up when she had started taking care of your hair.
"I feel guilty, my Lady," she said.
"About what?" you said between sniffles.
"About that day in the library." She frowned at you in the mirror. "I truly just thought you had gone missing."
"It's my fault as well," you assured her. "I guess I should have told you."
She laughed and put a comforting hand on your shoulder, you put your hand on top of hers. The two of you looked at each other with warm smiles, like old friends do.
"I would have liked to know," she eventually said.
"And I was dying to tell someone," you admitted. "I'm sorry for not telling you."
"No, no... you did what you thought was best," she argued and after some time added, "... was he good to you, my Lady?"
You turned around in your chair and gave her a mischievous smile. Eunji raised her eyebrows and you nodded. Without speaking a single word, the two of you had told so much. Both of you busted out laughing. Despite the sorrow you felt over everything you had done, there was something so delightful in telling Eunji of your escapades.
"How did you do it?" she asked between giggles.
"He snuck in through the balcony most nights," you admitted. "Oh, and he was so nice... I've never met anyone like him. He's quiet and reserved, but when he does speak he always knows what to say."
"Not to mention, he's very handsome," Eunji added, and the two of you broke out into fits of giggles again.
This is what you wanted your wedding to be. You wanted to be able to giggle about what a handsome and charming man your future husband was. In the midst of your laughter, you broke out crying again.
"Oh, my Lady-" Eunji quickly grabbed tissues from the table. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have spoken about it."
"He asked me to run away with him," you whispered. "Tonight. By boat. We'd go to another country, he said."
"But the wedding-"
"I know, I know!" you whaled. "I don't know what to do!"
"My Lady, I don't know much about love." Eunji crouched down in front of you. "But I can see it on your face, you truly love that man. That is something that no one can take away from you. If you decide to go or not... I won't judge you for it. I just hope you follow your heart. Do what you think is right."
You nodded and took the tissue she offered to wipe away your tears.
The ceremony went fairly quickly. You were lucky you had a veil because you couldn't help but cry once again, even if Eunji had given you a good speech beforehand. Wonwoo was in the crowd, you knew that, but you had no idea where since you didn't dare look. You had made up your mind, or so you thought.
You weren't going to leave with him, not at first at least. During the festivities held afterward, you watched as your now husband held speeches and talked to his peers. He wasn't your person. You knew that, and you were sure that the entire world could see that as well. So, when no one was looking you snuck out into the night. It was already late, and Wonwoo had left an hour earlier. But you just had to take this chance. You couldn't stay with Sungho for the rest of your life.
The white dress turned green and brown from you running through the mud. You had fallen down many times, and you were sure your legs were entirely scratched up. It didn't matter now, you would be with your love forever.
When you reached the docks there was no boat. If you squinted enough, you could see a ship in the distance - it was sailing away from you. You screamed, shouted, yelled, and ran as far as the coast would let you. But to no avail. The boat was gone. Wonwoo was gone. For how long, you didn't know. It was time to accept fate. Betrayed and tired, you made your way back to the castle. You had to ask Eunji for another dress.
Years flew by, and you got along rather well with your husband. You didn't love him, and you never learned to, but you did love the children he gave you. Three children: two boys and the youngest was a girl. They lived in ignorance, along with everyone else in the castle. Only you, Eunji, and Sungho knew of what happened in the past. You tried to forget. But when the King died one night while in his bed, you knew that you had to face your history.
He came by boat, just like he had left. The years had taken a toll on him, but he wasn't any less beautiful. You wanted to embrace him but held yourself back by holding your arms so hard that your nails dug into your flesh. Wonwoo was only there for the funeral, then he would leave again. You tried not to think about it, or to see him as a stranger, but it was much too difficult.
The children loved him. Wonwoo was great with kids, reminding you that there was so much that you hadn't had the chance to find out about him.
After dinner, you excused yourself to go to the garden. The Queen had let you have it, knowing how much you loved to spend your free time there. Even if you hadn't expected it, you were very pleased when Wonwoo had come after you. Without a word, the two of you embraced, hidden by a large tree and the many purple Phlox. It was the middle of summer, so the green leaves obscured you well.
"I've missed you, so much," he breathed out.
"Wonwoo..." You pulled away from him. "I want you to know that I tried to go with you that night. The... the boat had left before I got to it. I was prepared to leave my life here for you... but I can't do that anymore."
"I know... I know, my love." He cupped your cheek in his palm. "It's okay. I'm happy for you. You've done so well."
You put your hand on top of his and leaned into his touch. In the distance, you heard a child shouting for you. Another sigh escaped your lips, and you did your best to hold back the tears that threatened to spill out of the corner of your eye.
"I have to go," you whispered out with a sob stuck in your throat. "But you should know that a day never passes where I don't think of you."
You walked away from him, stopping mid-step when he called your name. You shut your eyes tight, as if it would help you shield yourself from him, and you didn't dare turn around.
"I never married," he admitted. "I haven't been able to move on from you."
His words broke you, and a cry escaped your lips. You didn't turn around, you couldn't turn around now. Instead, you wiped away your tears and followed the voice of your child calling your name.
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