#iida crack

[simphellscape]

the longest night | tenya iida

after his U.A graduation, denki kaminari decides to throw one last celebration before everyone moves on to their next big adventure. a certain uninvited guest signs himself up for his most unexpected adventure yet, and he is completely unprepared for the long night ahead.

tw: drugs, cursing

On a particularly warm evening in August, Denki Kaminari invited his classmates to his parents’ condo for a summer reunion. Sure, it hadn’t been terribly long since he’d seen them last, but even he realized the permanence of graduation and the weight it held for graduates of U.A. specifically. In the two weeks since his high school graduation, many of his friends had already begun preparing for their next big conquest: hero work. He could practically feel the ties that he’d built with all of these people starting to snap, and there was absolutely no way he would let that happen.

So, he sent a message to the group chat he shared with his pals, telling them to head over to his place at around 8:00 that evening and to spread the word. He spent the entirety of his day preparing the necessary ingredients for a successful party (with limited knowledge on the subject himself): plenty of alcohol, a smattering of weed and weed snacks, a heap of junk food, and a few card games that looked fun.

People start trickling in at around 8:15, then arrive in droves shortly after.

Now, at approximately 9:15, Denki is confident that at least half of Japan’s population has gathered in his parent’s modest condo. Satisfied, he climbs onto his most destructive party guest’s back without warning.

“Yo, what the fuck? Are you already shitfaced?” Bakugo shouts, swatting Denki.

“Shh, no, I’m not! I want to make an announcement!” he replies, slapping Bakugo’s hands away.

“And what does that have to do with me?”

“I need leverage. You’re taller than me.”

“By like two inches!”

“It’ll be five seconds, lighten up.”

Before Bakugo could protest any longer, his host had already wriggled his way onto his shoulders, and everyone was looking. Although he was notoriously hotheaded, he’d begun to understand the importance of upholding decent appearances in public.

“Oh, sweet! Everyone’s already paying attention,” Denki smiles.

“Get on with it,” Bakugo reminds him through gritted teeth.

“Right. Glad everyone could make it! Drinks and brownies,” Denki pauses to wink exaggeratedly, “are in the kitchen. I’ve got lots of cool games we can play, and Present Mic got me this sweet sound system as a grad present! So, yeah, go nuts! Just… not too nuts because this is my parent’s place.”

With that, he unceremoniously hops off of Bakugo’s shoulders. Bakugo opens his mouth to share a few choice phrases with his friend, but is quickly interrupted by a loud bang.

“I came as soon as I heard!” a familiar, but universally unwelcomed voice cries out.

One of Denki’s classmates, the only one that Denki explicitly did not invite, stands directly in the center of his living room. Immediately behind him is the front door of the Kaminari family home, hanging by a thread off of its hinges. Surrounding him, horrified teenage faces and a few spilled red solo cups.

“Man... Iida, I just said not to go too nuts! My mom’s gonna kill me!”

“Don’t fret, Kaminari! I prepared for this very circumstance!”

The man in question, Tenya Iida, drops the two cases of water nestled in each of his arms to the ground to access his backpack. From it, he pulls out two loaves of bread, a family sized box of Pepto-Bismol, an equally large bottle of ibuprofen, several pairs of identical glasses, and finally, a toolbox.

“You see, in situations like this, caution could be thrown to the side. I brought my personal set of tools, specifically for any damages that may occur!”

He sets the box down, adjusts his glasses, and sighs.

“I do apologize for my oversight, dear friend. I understood that it was urgent that I attend this gathering, as class representative.”

“Yeah, man, I guess I forgot to let you know… you’re not here to tell us all to go home though, right?” Denki clarifies.

After a brief pause, Tenya responds.

“If I’m being completely transparent, I considered it. However, I then recalled a study I came across during my recreational reading hour today that outlined the pros and cons of indulging in activities such as this in moderation. Occasional alcohol consumption is perfectly normal, as long as it’s done safely. It is my number one duty as your class representative and the pro-hero Ingenium to assure the safety of my mates, along with the citizens of the world. So, I decided to attend and uphold my duties!”

Without another word, Iida marches to the door, tool set in hand, to repair it. The buzzing of mutters settle across the room for a moment, until Denki figures out how his new surround sound system works. Quickly, everyone forgot about Tenya’s presence.

It took him approximately ten minutes to fully repair the door. With the nature of Tenya’s quirk, he became incredibly skilled with household tools at a young age. After packing his tools into his knapsack, he turns his attention back to the party.

A song in English plays over Denki’s speakers, with more than a few protanities peppered throughout. A majority of the people in the room have a very firm grasp on the English language, but Tenya has an iron grip on it. In his years of learning it, he dedicated time after school into learning some less scholastic phrases, so that he would never misspeak if chatting with a native English speaker. It ended up doing him some good, as a lot of the people in the room were mindlessly chanting along to the song without knowing the true connotations. Shaking his head, Tenya left the room to embark on a patrol of the house.

He strolled along the perimeter, keeping an ear out for any noises of physical or emotional distress. To his relief, he found the various hallways and corners completely deserted. Satisfied, he makes his way to the kitchen.

He discovers a long table filled with various goodies there: pizzas, chips, dips, brownies, cookies, and the like. It’s alluring. Tenya arrives at a crossroads. He thinks aloud, to nobody.

“Hmm… everyone else in attendance tonight is indulging in things they normally would not be. Of course, ingesting alcoholic beverages could potentially damage my engines. However, it is proven that carb-heavy foods produce an effect similar to the state of drunkenness! Perhaps I could indulge a bit too, as long as I train more rigorously in the morning.”

With that decision made, Tenya peruses the table, pondering on how long it had been since he’d broken his strict diet.

He had pizza last on the night of graduation. A handful of chips two weekends ago. It had been several years since he’d had a pastry, however. The last time he recalled having anything close to a brownie or a cookie was when his classmate, Rikido Sato, prepared a fruit pie for the first celebration his class held at their dormitory. Even then, he only had one bite.

Now, if Tenya was going to truly indulge, he wanted to make it count. He inspected both the plate of cookies and the pan of brownies very closely, wafting the smell towards his face as one would with dangerous chemicals in a laboratory. After more careful thought, he reached for the pan of brownies.

Upon the first bite, the taste of chocolate raced across his taste buds. As it spreads, Tenya can practically feel his dopamine receptors going into overdrive. Halfway through his bite, he notices an edge of something unfamiliar… almost earthy. He doesn’t dislike it; in fact, it leads him to believe that they might be better for him. Perhaps they’re gluten-free, or low-sugar. An odd choice for a party, but he’s certainly not complaining. After shoving the rest of the brownie in his mouth, he goes for another one and completely devours it. He regards the pan of brownies once more.

“Since they seem to be a healthier brownie…”

He reaches for one more with the intent to savor it. He certainly takes his time with this one, enjoying the nuances of this delicious, ambiguously healthy treat. As he is about to take his final bite, another classmate enters the kitchen.

“Hey, Iida, wha-- oh, shit.”

Tenya turns to find Kyoka Jiro standing a few feet from him, white as a sheet. An inexplicable look of horror is spread across her face.

“Hello, Jiro! Wonderful to see you.”

“What are you eating?”

“Oh, this?” Tenya asks, raising the last bite of his brownie, “I know it’s unusual to see me with junk foods, but I decided to treat myself, much like all of you are tonight!”

“That’s not a brownie.”

“I did notice that it wasn’t an exact replica of the brownies I have tasted in the past. Is there another name for this low-carb, chocolate treat?”

“No, Iida, those are edibles. How many did you eat?”

“Oh, Jiro, you have always been a jokester. Of course they’re edible! See?”

Tenya lifts the last bite to his mouth.

“No! Stop!”

He pauses and regards Kyoka, quizzically.

“What seems to be the issue?”

Jiro scrambles over to her friend, snatching the brownie from his hand and stuffing it into her own mouth.

“Okay,” she mumbles over her full mouth, “so, these brownies have been... tampered with.”

Tenya gasps.

“Who would do such a thing?”

“No, no, it was on purpose. Uh--”

With that, Katsuki barges into the kitchen with his usual gusto.

“Who’s doing all that fucking shouting?” he shouts.

For the first time in recorded history, Katsuki takes a moment to appreciate his surroundings. He notices Kyoka, swallowing hard with chocolate crumbs around her lips. He sees Iida, looking very confused with even more chocolate crumbs decorating his face. Finally, he clocks the tray of weed brownies, with a full row completely missing. He absolutely loses his mind, cackling.

“Oh, this is so fucking funny,” he wheezes.

“Alright, I understand that this is all very amusing for you two, but I am, unfortunately, out of the loop,” Tenya asserts.

“They’ve got weed in them, you idiot!” Katsuki reveals, at long last.

Tenya’s mind goes immediately, alarmingly blank. His heart starts beating impossibly fast. His palms become slick with sweat at once.

“Marijuana? That’s impossible,” he finally chokes out.

“Oh, it’s possible,” Katsuki grunts, wiping the tears from his eyes, “and you’re about to be really fucked up.”

Of all the things he expected to encounter at this party, vomit, blood, tears, even law enforcement… something so incredibly illegal was something that had never even crossed his mind. His first instinct is to feel betrayed, and then he recalls a statistic on illicit drug use that he read recently. Not anticipating recreational drugs was a huge oversight. He could be angry later, if he so chooses. Right now, however, he needs to accept accountability and prepare for the journey he is about to take.

“I understand. I know this may come as a great shock to you, but I’m uneducated on the effects of marijuana in large quantities. I assume you both have used this drug before?”

Both Katsuki and Kyoka nod; Katsuki with fervour and a scoff, Kyoka calmly and wordlessly.

“What will happen to me?”

Katsuki opens his mouth to speak, but Kyoka interrupts.

“With all due respect, Mr. Lord Explosion Murder, I’ll take this one.”

Katsuki groans and crosses his arms over his chest.

“In about twenty minutes, you’re going to start to feel a bit… looser. Your brain might feel like it’s running slower than normal. Your body might feel a bit lighter and more relaxed. You’re probably going to feel hungry -- do not eat more brownies, please -- and everything will seem a bit funny and confusing. After a while, you’re probably gonna want to find a place and sit there, because it’s probably gonna be hard to move. Honestly, I don’t know how strong the brownies are, so you might green out, might not. You probably will, though.”

“I’m sorry… ‘green out’?”

“I’m sure you know what happens when you drink too much alcohol, right?”

Tenya nods, slowly.

“The same thing can happen if you have too much pot. You pass out, you throw up, you might even forget about the whole thing if you’re lucky. You definitely won’t die, though. You’d have to have about fifteen of those pans in, like, five minutes.”

“Memory loss doesn’t seem very fortuitous to me.”

“I was being sarcastic. Listen,” Kyoka sighs, “do you want someone to bring you home, or maybe call an Uber? I know you ran over here… and you’re definitely not gonna be able to do that anytime soon.”

Tenya’s normally rigid posture becomes even more so.

“Absolutely not! I promised my classmates that I would be here to assist them, and I will fulfill that promise to the best of my abilities!”

“Okay, I’m gonna let Denki know, then.”

With that, Kyoka leaves the kitchen, a still-chuckling Katsuki following close behind. Tenya lets out a deep sigh. He’s not entirely sure that he has the facilities to undertake this endeavor. He’s not at all like Kyoka, or Katsuki, or anyone else who would partake in this drug knowingly. He’s not carefree like them. Sometimes, he wishes ‘going with the flow’ came as easily to him as it did with many of the people he knows. If it did, then maybe he wouldn’t be so scared right now.

Tenya’s been in many situations where his life was in imminent danger, but he had friends who fought along with him, and he had training to base his decisions on. In this situation, he has no idea what to expect, what to do, or how he’s gonna make it home at the end of the night -- let alone what his family would say if they heard about this.

A fuzzy sensation creeps up Tenya’s spine. His heart rate spikes again, certain that this means his journey is starting much sooner than he thought it would. He sets his brow, takes a deep, calming breath, and begins searching the Kaminari residence for a comfortable place to rest. This is, without a doubt, going to be the longest night of his young life.

a/n: i’m back(ish) and i’m posting crack lol. i could probably write the rest of this if someone wanted it. ask and you shall receive. check the tags for my picks for the naughty english song playing on the sound system hehe

[loveriotss]

HAII ur writing is sm fun to read omg,, if ur taking rqs can i ask for bf hc+ txts with iida? tysm <33

HCS + TXTS WITH HIM AS YOUR BOYFRIEND ⸻ tenya iida

INCLUDES — gn! reader, fluff, crack, headcannons, social media au

main masterlist — mha masterlist ༊*·˚

: ̗̀➛ click here to read other character versions

such a gentleman!!

but sometimes you ask yourself whether you’re texting  your boyfriend or a robot 😖😖.

he used to end his messages with his name but after a few nags from you, he finally started believing that the receiver of his messages will know it’s him and it’s not necessary for him to sign his name off.

very stiff and straightforward in his texts but he tries his best to ‘match your energy’.

not one to understand any brain rot or internet references, hence becomes a victim to misinformation spread by denki.

fast replier!! 

unless he’s in the shower or talking to a teacher, he’s quick to respond to your texts.

anytime he saves a new number on his phone, he will simply add in that person’s last name.

you however are promoted to being saved as ‘y/n ❤️’.

will always give you the most intricate and long compliments.

very observant to your behaviors and demands.

if you mention anything that you want around him, trust you will have it the very same day (rich ahh).

whenever you are sad/angry at him, he will try his best to be able to talk to you about it face to face since he believes problems like this should be resolved in person rather than on text.

he has two social media accounts.

one is for professional reasons only such as hero interactions or class president duties.

the second one is for his personal use or in other words, being the first to like your posts. he also posts you on his second account only. he firmly believes in keeping his work/study and personal life separate.

NOTE — hi nonnie ty for the compliment!! and im so sorry this took so long 😭😭. but anyways tenya iida my man hes so glorious i love him.

©loveriotss — all rights reserved to me. please don’t try to copy/steal my work. please do not use any of my ideas/translate my work without my permission.

[c00kiesart]

🍨🍊

Separated pieces !

Inspo ;

Twitter / Kofi

[epitome-of-an-openbook]

Tsuyu: Do you guys have any idea why Mina keeps putting Bakugo and Iida next to each other kero?

Uraraka: Hmm, I don't know for sure, but it started almost immediately after we had that lesson about complimentary colors in Ms. Midnight's class.

Jiro: Yeah, I overheard her saying we were only one couple away from having them all, whatever that means.

Uraraka: *looks to the left where Todoroki and Midoriya are, looks to the right where Kaminari and Shinsou are* Ooh, I think I get it... poor Iida.

*explosions and lecturing in background*

[wh1spic]

Iida: Midoriya... Izuku: Oh no, 'Midoriya' in b-flat. Izuku: You're disappointed.

[miwanwa]

let them smoke weed!!

[everypaneloftenya]

Chapter 4 - Starting Line

[braveryhearted]

' iida, if you do decide to commit murder, i will help you dispose of the body. ' shōto trusts in iida's choice. (This is crack based off of what you just reblogged 😂)

"MY BLOOD SUGAR WAS LOW!!!!!!!".

Tenya screams across the room, blowing this waaaay out of proportion. The whole class is now looking at him, staring at Tenya like he grew five heads or something. This certainly wasn't like the class rep in the slightest.

Shoto bringing this up after they had the warning not to do anything rash was not helping matters but it didn't mean that Tenya needed to make a scene about it. But with his somewhat uptight and frustrated personality, he couldn't help but have this burst of emotion right here, right now.

Tenya's going to write a formal apology to Shoto later though. Mark his words. He owed one after all.

@yoakkemae

[usagi-s2]

Dad for one fic rec!

How a Feral Fanboy Became the Number One Hero by MiHonoKo

summary: Normal cannon beginning to MHA except Izuku bites people, unlocks quirks a lot sooner, and has all for one quirk. Yoichi is feral, Inko is a great mother and a bad person, everyone is concerned for their own well being around Izuku, and all for one is a mostly absent father (for now). Crack

[randomfandomthought156]

More misnamed quirks because there's no patient in the emergency im in,

Iida : turned the leggos to a train

Tsuyu: chemicals in the water turned the friggin frogs sentient

Sero : office supplies, but make it a superpower.

Mineta: ever see a quick that turn the entire person into a balls joke?

Mina : acid trip(ping hazard)

Mr. Compress: ever play marbles as a kid? Well, it's about to get real friggin traumatic.

Satou: sugar rush but make it fancy

Ayoama: i met a supervillain and all I got was this inconvenient quirk

Momo: I'm boutta make you study a lot of chemistry.

Endeavor: Anger from inside out.

[069introverted]

MY FAV FIC GATTA READ

[inkykeiji]

Clari I am crying at the leaks. :( all he wanted was to be seen I can’t

the leaks are like,,,, kind of confusing to me LMAO like aside from that heartbreaking line i’m like ????? okay so what is going on here

[118gremlin]

Tomura goes online looking for help on how to be a good big brother to his newly discovered cousin Izuku.

After his injury and forced retirement, Tensei has way too much free time on his hands and decides to help other big brothers with their sibling relationships.

[bestshipsmackdown]

is mod a kinnie of any kind ??

Nah. I have my comfort characters and characters I call my spouses (mostly Aizawa from BNHA) and characters that I’m like “that’s my kid right there”. But I don’t tend to like the characters I can identify with, because a lot of it is stuff I’ve grown from or learned to not act in certain ways, and they drive me up the wall falling into situations that I’ve long ago grown out of.

[fellow-fandom-fruitifier]

I need help finding a fic on AO3, it’s a mha fic where they were trying to figure out who’s family roles was whose. Kinda like house ig?? And Bakugou was the mom and Iida was the dad, but since they don’t get along they’re “divorced”. I think it’s a series?? (I cannot be sure abt that) And Denki commissioned Hatsume to make a long furby that made “waluigi” noises at one point. (I’m p sure he called it “the Holy Spirit”) if I find it I’ll lyk but some1 pls help

[zatyanaz]

Iida is not my type but this is so fucking funny I laughed my ass off at 2 am

handcuffs

warnings: suggestive content

characters: shouto todoroki, katsuki bakugou, izuku midoriya, eijiro kirishima, denki kaminari, hanta sero, tenya iida, minoru mineta, fumikage tokoyami

summary: bakugou finds handcuffs and interrogates the 1-a boys gc about it.

a/n: this ones longer than the others bc i had so much fun writing it bahaha. hope you guys enjoy !!

read the next one here !