#ignore that i drew these 4 months apart
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olibuns · 8 months ago
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Me galaxy braining: hifudo....... but like if it was yuri
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iamred-iamyellow · 3 months ago
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⋆ ËšïœĄâ‹†à±šà§ŽËš Don’t Prove I’m Right - [Part 4]
♄ prev
♄ series masterlist | main masterlist
♄ pairing: lando norris x fem!reader
♄ series synopsis: you didn't think twice about the dj you hooked up with until you found out you were pregnant. turns out the man wasn't just some dj but a famous formula 1 driver.
♄ chapter synopsis: after his reckless decisions, lando attempts to make it up to you. it took some convincing from oscar but you eventually gave in and had a conversation with him.
♄ smau + written - fc: girls on pinterest - none of the pictures are mine
♄ warnings: swearing !!!
♄ a/n: its been MONTHS since the last chapter I am so sorry lovelies!
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liked by logansargeant, lilyzneimer, lilymhe, and 120,538 more
yourusername ever since @/logansargeant and @/oscarpiastri got camila these plushies she’s been obsessed with them
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yourbestfriend please don’t tell me the deer is being replaced 😔
yourusername camila would never
lilyzneimer shes just too cute to not spoil
user1 haven’t seen lando in any of her posts recently 😕
user3 they did JUST get back to Monaco so I wouldn't be worried
user6 they're not dating either so I don't see why he would be
user4 we need a godfather reveal
logansargeant it’s me
oscarpiastri its me
carlossainz55 
 it’s probably not me 😕
✧˖ °. ʁ₊ âŠč . ʁ˖ . ʁ‧₊˚ . ʁ₊ âŠč . ʁ˖ . ʁ˖°✧
It had been a couple of days since your last conversation with Lando and a knock on your door drew your attention away from your phone.
A giant box was sitting on the doorstep alone with no sender information. You hesitantly brought it into the living room and grabbed a pocket knife to cut through the clear strip of tape. The box quickly burst open from the pressure of the deeply packed objects—about a dozen jellycats and an apology note placed on top. 
It was clear to you that this package was from Lando, and it was a very sweet gesture. He’d clearly seen the post you made the previous day and was trying his best to make up for his mistakes. You sighed and folded the note up, setting it on your couch. You pulled out a soft pink bunny from the box causing Camila to squeal and hold her arms open. 
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You still hadn’t checked your texts from Lando, but Oscar was right. You couldn’t ignore him forever. Lily offered to take you out for the night in order to clear your head. You were extremely grateful for Lily’s support and generosity ever since you met her. She had truly become one of your best friends throughout this experience.
✧˖ °. ʁ₊ âŠč . ʁ˖ . ʁ‧₊˚ . ʁ₊ âŠč . ʁ˖ . ʁ˖°✧
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liked by lilymhe, carmenmundt,, and 102,843 more 102,473 more
yourusername girls night
tagged; @/lilyzneimer
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lilyzneimer <3
user1 we love a self care queen
user2 she’s so pretty
alexandrasaintmleux we should all hang out together <3
francisca.cgomes i second that
yourusername i’m so there
user7 i love that the wags include her đŸ„č
✧˖ °. ʁ₊ âŠč . ʁ˖ . ʁ‧₊˚ . ʁ₊ âŠč . ʁ˖ . ʁ˖°✧
You sat next to Lily with a glass of white wine in your hand, conflicted. Of course you were. Like Oscar said, you had to confront him at some point, but it was going to take a lot for you to trust Lando again. You pulled your phone out of your purse.
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You got the response pretty much immediately.
You sighed and turned to Lily, "I'm gonna go talk to Lando."
"Good luck," she said with a smile, and took another sip of her drink.
You picked Camila up off the couch and bundled her up in a small yellow blanket.
-
You were at his apartment in about twenty minutes. You knocked hesitantly, tapping your nails on the case of your phone and jangling your keys in attempt to reduce your anxiety. Lando opened the door in silence, letting you into the room. He sat back down on his couch and you followed, cradling your daughter in your arms and choosing to stand up as you spoke.
“Listen Y/n, I know what I did was-“
"I'm not going to take your child away from you,” you stated, cutting him off. “You said you want to be in her life, but you have to keep that promise."
He nodded and ran his hands across his face. You wanted to get straight to the point with no excuses. You had heard all of his apologies already.
"Lily talked to Kmag and found her a babysitter, so we're good on that end. But, you still have to earn back my trust to be alone with her and if anything like this happens again I won't be nice."
He looked back up at you, “It won’t ever happen again, I swear. It shouldn’t have happened in the first place.
”I agree.”
There was some awkward silence as you gently sat on the arm rest of the couch.
You looked down at your daughter, “She may not fully get it yet, but you’re her dad and she loves you,” you locked eyes with Lando again. “You chose to raise her with me, so you need to take responsibility.”
He nodded, “I understand.”
"Good," you responded, standing back up and stepping towards the front door. You paused without turning your head back towards him, "Good luck in Imola.”
With that you were gone.
✧˖ °. ʁ₊ âŠč . ʁ˖ . ʁ‧₊˚ . ʁ₊ âŠč . ʁ˖ . ʁ˖°✧
end notes: this was short, I am aware! there was originally supposed to be more to this chapter but I decided to turn it into its own whole part lol :) I've already started working on it so stay tuned!
taglist; @hc-dutch, @papaya-twinks, @2pagenumb, @formulaal, @erin-odonnell04, @drunkinthemiddleoftheday, | @kissesandmartinis, @ironmaiden1313, @six-call, @wolflover384, @tremendousstarlighttragedy, | @ilivbullyingjeongin, @celestialend, @silentreader128, @wolflover384, @ellesssssxzxz | @clowngirlsstuff, @ln4smiamitrophy, @whoneedsgeorge, @chezmardybum, @warlike-morning, | @gigicisneros, @hard4ndsoft, @eveninggstar, @jolixtreesunn, @acesofspadess,| @formulaonebuff, @notpeachybby, @shesmugirl, @mxdi0, @ririyulife, | @kravitzwhore, @bellinghambby22, @helaenatargaryensfavoritebug, @maplesyrupsainz, @harrysdimple05, | @pippyth3hippy, @noneofyourfbusinessworld, @littlegrapejuice, | @majx00, | @si1ver06 | @weekendlusting | @landossainz,
@jxnellat, @minkyungseokie, @evie-119, @mxryxmfooty @tvdtw4ever, @ivegotparticulartaste, @taylawillson23,
@mountvesuvu, @arteme, @plotpal, @landorris, @mbioooo0000,
@heavy-vettel, @loganmay19, @formula1-motogpfan, @herexpertcollector, @teti-menchon0604,
@ysabay, @cleopatrick-123, @nichmeddar, @glai1023-blog, @sltwins,
@harrysdimple05, @toriiez, @theonottsbxtch, @fastfactory
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abbu0414 · 11 months ago
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Time Apart (Simon Riley x Reader)
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Word Count: 788
â™Ș Song to Listen To: Slow Dancing in A Burning Room by John Mayer
It had been weeks. No. Months since you had last seen him. Maybe that was just an exaggeration, but he was the first boyfriend you had that had a job like this. You had been together for about 5 or 6 months and you and Simon had been inseparable since and at the last possible second, he was summoned for a mission for work. This mission was just for 4 or 5 weeks, which in retrospect wasn’t that long, but this was the first time being apart from each other. The very first thing that he told you was that this mission was no contact. Even if he wanted to, he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t risk your safety like that.
Week 2 and 3 weren’t that bad and you just made a routine to keep yourself busy. It didn’t help that you were also an anxious overthinker. Every night you would lay awake thinking about Simon and his chances of coming back to you. 
“No, he’s coming back.” Is what you would tell yourself every night before you fell asleep in his too big workout shirt. His scent alone would be enough to lull you asleep in your shared bed and strong enough for you to ignore the missing body that was supposed to be next to you.
By week 4 and 5, you slowly started to eat less and sleep more. You don’t know why you reacted this way to him being gone, it’s not like you weren’t used to it. Your dad had been in the military for 20 years and it wasn’t uncommon for him to be gone for months at a time. So why is this different?
You had finally convinced yourself to swing your legs out of bed and drag yourself into the kitchen. Luckily, you had showered after work so all you had to do was put on pajama shorts and Simon's big t-shirt. Boiling some pasta water and putting on your headphones on full blast made you feel better and you knew it would melt away the sadness. While you were lost in your own thoughts and swaying to the music, you failed to hear the door unlocking, and the soft but heavy thud of duffle bags. A long sigh escaped his lips. 
“Oh shit the pasta”, you muttered to yourself. Simon’s steps drew closer to you, taking in your body like a parched man looking at water in the desert. Heavy footsteps drawing into a close. You feel your hair being pushed to the side and your neck being peppered with kisses.
“Holy shit!” You turn around quickly, with your headphones falling off your head just to be met with his adoring brown eyes.
“Miss me love?” He whispers with a smile.
“Oh my god” tears run down your face and you jump into his arms. He didn’t hesitate to support your body with his hands around your torso while your legs locked around his waist. “I’ve missed you so much Simon.” You buried your face in his neck and took in his overwhelming cologne, the smell of pine on his tactical vest and the cold sensation of his dog tags hitting your chest. He sets you on the counter gently, trapping you in between his arms. You put your hands to his face and lift his intimidating balaclava to look at his bare face. You mark all the new scars and take notice of the one on his lips. You kiss all the scars and then his lips. He takes a moment to look at you.
“Is that my shirt?” He asks, looking down at the material hanging off your body and you shrug your shoulders. “It looks good on you, keep it.” It’s his turn to return the affection and he starts at your collar bones and works his way up your neck and eventually lands on your lips. This time he hooks his hand around the back of your neck for support and kisses you deeply. Nothing beats the feeling of an ‘I missed you’ kiss. You enjoy this feeling as you wrap your arms around his neck. You hop off the counter and take his hand in yours as you go to his bags to help him put his stuff away. 
“Let’s get you settled back in so we can eat and you can tell me about your trip, the unclassified stuff anyways” You smile at him.
“Anything for you.”
After dinner and his much needed shower you laid in bed with his arms around you and your legs entangled with each other. It was the best sleep you both had in weeks.
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lynnpool · 4 months ago
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Coffee
Inspired by Coffee by Chappell Roan
Mentions of physical abuse, angst, not a happy ending (spoiler?)
(I haven’t seen this done before but if it has been done I’m sorry)
I had just got home from work, tossing my keys and purse on the floor. I look around my bare studio apartment, a twin size mattress, a microwave, and a 32 inch tv being the only things to my name. I left my shared apartment with Wade a little over 2 months ago and I haven’t spoken to him since.
We had a fight. I don’t even remember what it was about now but it got him so worked up for some reason. I let my smart mouth fly off the handle again and in a fit of rage he had slapped me. The man who I loved, who was supposed to protect me, put his hands on me. I’ve never let a man lay hands on me before and I didn’t intend to again. So I packed a bag and left.
I stayed in a hotel until I found this apartment, not that it’s much better. I’ve been saving money over the last two months to hopefully buy myself some furniture for this place.
I sigh, plopping down on my mattress on the floor, turning the tv on to flick through the channels mindlessly.
My phone lit up beside me.
Wade: Can we meet for dinner at Nico’s? I want to talk..
Can’t meet you for dinner at the Italian place
It’s where I met your family, some words were exchanged.
He’d texted me a couple of times over the past couple of months, trying to get me to meet up with him to talk. I wasn’t ready yet. I ignored his texts, hoping this would all go away.
I think back to the first time Wade took me to Nico’s. It was a nice little Italian place on the corner by his apartment. We had been officially dating for about a month. He told me he had some ‘acquaintances’ who wanted to meet me.
When we made it there I met Colossus, Negasonic Teenage Warhead(that’s a mouthful), and her girlfriend Yukio. As the night drew on, I had realized they were more than acquaintances. They were his friends, his family as much as he’d deny it. By the time we got our food, he was in a full-blown fight with Colossus, yelling across the table about how he’s ’not a child’ and he’ll ‘never join the X-men’. “We don’t have to take this shit!” He grabbed my arm, dragging me out of the restaurant dramatically.
He later apologized profusely and made plans to take me back there, just the two of us.
I frown down at the text message on my phone, deciding on whether to answer or not. I thought maybe I might be ready, but there’s no way I’m meeting him at Nico’s. It’s too intimate of a place. I wrack my brain, thinking for another place to suggest.
I’d suggest the jazz bar on MaryAnn street but
you’d buy me a drink and we know where that leads, so
The first place that popped into my head was Sister Margaret’s School for Wayward Children. Definitely not going there. That’s where Wade and I first met. My friend brought me there, claiming the drinks were killer (they weren’t). I learned later she was just looking for a bad guy to take home.
“What’s a pretty place like you doing in a girl like this?” I hear a chipper voice from behind me at the bar. I turned to see a man in a red suit leaning against the bar, looking me up and down. I giggled at his pickup line as he called to the bartender. “Weasel, her drinks are on me!”
We made simple small talk for a while before he leaned over to me, “Wanna cut the shit and head back to my place, hot cakes?”
It was like mortal combat in that bitch. Round 1, 2, 3, 4. From that day forward I was like a crackhead waiting for his next high, eagerly waiting for my next bootycall from Wade. I was utterly addicted to him.
I’ll meet you for coffee, cause if we have wine
You’ll say that you want me, I know it’s a lie
My mind finally settles on coffee. Seems safe enough right? I tap away on my screen,
Me: How about coffee? That little place by the markets?
I shut the phone off quickly, leaning my head back against the wall with a sigh.
If I didn’t love you, it would be fine
I’ll meet you for coffee, only for coffee
Nowhere else is safe, every place leads back to your place
I did still love Wade. I just won’t allow myself to be hurt in that way. I felt betrayed by the one person who was supposed to protect me.
My phone buzzes beside me on the bed.
Wade: Sure! Meet you there in an hour?
Me: Sure. See you there.
I sigh, pushing myself off the mattress on the floor and making my way to the bathroom for a shower. It’s just coffee, right? What could go wrong with coffee?
I take a quick shower and put on some comfortable clothes, a pair of jeans and an oversized sweater with some sneakers. I make my way out the door and down the stairs, onto the chilly street outside.
I feel my phone buzz in my pocket as I walk.
You said let’s do the park, cause I love the park
That may be true but God forbid it gets dark
Wade: What about the park? I know you love the park.
I sigh, thinking back to the times Wade would take me to the park. I loved to just sit and read in the comfort of each-other’s silence. And after we’d spent all day there and the sun set, making it impossible to read, we’d cuddle and watch the stars.
Tears gather in the corners of my eyes as I walk, the wind chilling my face.
Here comes the excuses that fuel the illusions
But I’d rather feel something, than nothing at all
Me: It’s too cold for the park.
I find an excuse. I know under our old circumstances Wade would have brought me a blanket or given me his jacket if I was too cold. Tears stream down my face as the memories continue to flood in. It’s the first time I’ve cried since I left Wade’s apartment. I’ve felt numb for months until now.
I’ll meet you for coffee, cause if we have wine
You’ll say that you’re sorry, I know it’s a lie
Wade: Just coffee, then.
Wade begged and pleaded with me as I packed my bag to leave. He told me how sorry he was, how he didn’t mean it. You don’t just slap someone and not mean it.
If I didn’t trust you, it would be fine
I’ll meet you for coffee, only for coffee
Nowhere else is safe, every place leads back to your-
I stop on the sidewalk, realizing I’m now in front of the coffee shop. I did trust Wade. I do believe he let his feelings get the best of him and he didn’t really mean to hurt me. But it doesn’t ease the pain in my chest.
I look up into the window from across the street, seeing him sitting at a table, scrolling on his phone. I take a deep breath, my nerves growing in my chest as I cross the street.
We’ve been here before
And I don’t need it anymore
We had argued before but we’d always talked through it after we had our space. But nothing like this.
I reach for the handle of the door, taking a deep breath.
So let’s not do coffee, let’s not even try
It’s better we leave it and give it some time
I turn around quickly, making my way back down the street in the direction of my apartment, tears streaming down my cheeks. I couldn’t do this. Not now.
If I didn’t love you, it would be fine
I was still madly in love with him. I knew if I let him speak, I’d be at his place by the end of the night. I just can’t go back that easily.
Cause if we do coffee, it’s never just coffee
It’s never just coffee
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geneticallymodifiedidiot · 4 months ago
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the ocean
i'm gonna be honest right now: this is my attempt at a trans metaphor and it's entirely possible this falls apart immediately, it's entirely based on my own experience and i came up with it at 4 am
it is also quite long
For most of my life, I lived near the beach outlooking the ocean. I’ve seen the masses of people with me on the beach, but none of them seemed quite as fascinated with the ocean as I was. I’ve met other people who have also seemed to love the idea of the ocean, and I’ve seen many of them eventually decide to join the people that are already swimming, or even living in the ocean. As I watched them in admiration, I wondered if I, too, would be happier in the ocean than I am on the shore.
I wondered this for one simple reason; the beach is hot. The sun beats down on the land and my skin, and I feel like I’m getting burned almost constantly. Strangely enough, none of the other people on land seem to be aware of this at all, and I can’t fathom why. The sun has been scorching me my entire life, sapping my energy and my health, and I can’t understand why anyone else would want to stay on the land when the ocean is right there, cooling and soothing. However, before recently, I never went into the ocean myself. It didn’t seem right; the people in the ocean, that small minority, seemed to have some ineffable quality that made them “need” the ocean more than I did. I could survive on the beach and not claim something I didn’t deserve. 
As I grew older, though, the sun got hotter. More and more of my friends who seemed similar to me began going into the ocean, and I began to wonder if it would be best for me after all to escape the sun. I began to slowly leave the beach and grow closer to my friends, getting nearer and nearer to the surf.
Do not misunderstand; I had friends that seemed as unfascinated with the ocean as many other people I had seen on the land, but they seemed to be
 different from me. I wondered, if I had been born in a different life, would the ocean be an enjoyable experience for me? Could it have made me happier? These thoughts swirled in my head as I grew nearer to the waves lapping the shore of the beach.
However, as I drew closer, I began to realize that the ocean was not all it seemed. People getting into the ocean were fighting with it, battling massive waves that beat down on them. I sat at the water's edge for a long time: minutes, hours, days, months; it may have even been years. I decided to wade slightly into the water, just to see what it would be like, and if it could possibly be worth battling the waves. However, I still hesitated. What if the ocean wasn’t meant for me? Why should I need relief from the hot sun from the water, when so many others seemed to be unaffected by the sun that scorched my flesh daily? What if I didn’t deserve the ocean? Maybe I just needed to ignore it. But before these thoughts could progress further, a larger wave came and lapped at my feet.
It felt incredible. I could almost feel my skin sizzling as the ocean drew out the heat I had been absorbing from the sun’s rays my entire life, and I began to believe that the ocean may be right for me. But still, I hesitated to commit.
More and more people I knew went all the way into the ocean, battling the huge waves, and I lingered on the edge for the longest time. Eventually, one of my other friends, one who had been in the ocean for as long as I had known them, decided enough was enough, and encouraged me to take the leap of faith and try to brave the ocean, and see if it was the right thing for me.
But I was still afraid. Because of my young age, I am reliant on people on the shore who would not approve of me going in the ocean, who would not approve of anyone my age going all the way into the ocean as I so desperately wanted to try to do. I sent another part of myself, promising it I would nurture it with feelings of the cooling sensation of the water, back onto the beach to appease those people, and hopefully distract them from the fact that I was also battling the water. As soon as it walked onto the beach, I could feel the memory of the sun’s scorching rays as if they were occurring again, and as they walked onto the beach, it seemed like I shared its pain. Splitting my form like this had been incredibly difficult, but with my last shreds of energy, I waded into the surf. 
It felt
 correct. The ocean was what I had needed for my whole life, but I had never known it. I briefly grieved the fact that I had spent my childhood being scorched on the shore, and that I would need to have a part of me be burned by the sun for a very long time, and realized I would have to carry that grief for as long as I lived. 
It was easier for me to be myself around those who couldn’t see me, who only knew me through a facade known as The Internet, because they didn’t have to look at me and realize I still looked exactly like my old self, the one who had spent all their time on the land. Interacting with people who I knew before was much, much harder. I hated my appearance, but still I kept going, because I had seen that those who had gotten far enough could change their appearance. There was no one in the ocean who judged me for my appearance, in fact, I have been given nothing but kindness and acceptance from others in the ocean, but still my mind lingered on the fact that I had not changed. Not all who wandered into the ocean did, or wanted to, change, but that was for them to decide. I loved everyone in the ocean, as I had loved some of those on the beach, and I understood the terror of changing from the skin you inhabited for the majority of your life. At least, that was why I thought they chose not to. However, after hearing their experiences, I realized that they didn’t feel the need to escape into a different body. As much as I wish I could be like them in this aspect, I’m not. I desperately want to not inhabit this flesh prison that has undergone so much pain and that I barely recognize as my own, in a way that I need to escape. 
Then the waves began. Before, the sun had been my enemy, but now the sun from the other part of me and the waves from the battle I was truly fighting began to combine in a vicious and relentless battle for my sense of self, and I could feel myself almost begin to fall apart. While the ocean had begun healing the damage the sun had done to me for years, I was not completely fixed. Now, the waves tore at the seams where the sun had done the most damage: my shoulders, the extent of my height, my hands, and most of all, slamming my face with such force that it felt like I would lose all skin and flesh there, becoming nothing but a naked, grinning skull, with my hopes laid bare and failed.
Not once did I consider leaving, though. Well, I did consider leaving, but thinking of leaving the soothing waters and going back into the searing, burning heat the sun exuded onto the land was torturous to even think about, more so than the non-stop pounding of the waves. On occasion, the waves would slow, and I began wondering if the ocean would pull away, abandon me, leave me to be fried by the sun for the rest of my life with no chance to go back. .
I haven’t heard anyone else complain about the terrors that the surf holds, unlike the joys: sometimes I wonder if the ocean is trying to tell me to turn back, that it does not want me. At this point though, turning back seems unthinkable. The ocean has made me feel whole for the first time in my life, despite being split into two selves. One day, I hope to recall that part of me, and not hide the fact that I am in the ocean. But while I am reliant on those on land that may not accept the fact that I wish to spend my life in the ocean, this is not an option. The only thing keeping me going is seeing those that made it past the waves, to the open ocean, and imagining myself among them. Of course, there are still waves present, but they hold much less force than those nearer to the shore where I currently exist. At least, it seems so to me, and I hope someday I can reach that blessed sector of the water.
As of now, I’m
 still fighting the waves. The other part of myself I created still needs my energy, but I’m able to slowly reclaim parts of it as I am able, and I will see how much I am able to reclaim before it becomes obvious to those on the land that I am not who I seem to them. I will say this for the sun: before I noticed it, it was a subtle killer. There are probably many people that I have not met that do not realize the amount of damage the sun is doing to them, and maybe they will one day join in the fight through the waves to reach the open ocean. Be that as it may, I would rather fight through these waves dozens more times than be exposed to the unfiltered sunlight again.
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ryuichirou · 8 months ago
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And an update on Ko-fi situation: our page got republished and is once again available! Thank fuck Jesus yikes.
Alright, replies replies! Some related to our drawings, some related to our hcs about Lilia and the Tweels 

Anonymous asked:
Finny is such a cute puppy đŸ˜­â€ïž
He really is <3 He needs more appreciation, I think, he’s a good pup.
Anonymous asked:
I'm gonna be a huge perv and feel free to ignore this. But when Ciel said come....I thought there would be something else in his hands instead đŸ«Ł
After all good puppies come when told!
Also I'm not super familiar with how you see SebCiel but I also thought of another place where he could 'come' 😔
I KNEW IT I knew someone would comment on that! Thank you, Anon lol There are several ways to interpret this command, so Ciel really should have known better!
We ship these two! So who knows, maybe if Finny wasn’t present


 đŸ€”
 (also to address your other ask: no worries whatsoever! <3 )
irregardlessly-tish asked:
What was the first twisted ship that caught your attention and which one would you say is your most recent ship in the fandom? 👀
Oh good question!
Our first twst ship is Azul/Idia. These two were pretty much the reason we fell into this fandom in the first place. Our very first twst posts here are fanart of these two, and we weren’t even sure we’d be getting this invested in twst back then. We kind of thought we’d just post a couple of things and move on 😭 Who knew.
Our most recent ship
 has to be Crewel/Deuce, right? It’s hard to tell because this is one of the ships we’ve been talking about here and there, but it’s been just about a month since we’ve posted them for the first time.
Anonymous asked:
A little critique for fem!Lilia, I think there’s not really much physical differences between fem!Lilia and original Lilia, so as a way to avoid confusion, maybe you could try giving fem!Lilia a different hairstyle like short pigtails, cause I always imagine fem!Lilia having them, or maybe a low tied bun similar to the three good fairies from sleeping beauty. Don’t get me wrong, I love your fem twst art, but it’s just a bit tricky to tell fem!Lilia and male!Lilia apart.
But that was the entire point, Anon. Even before posting the sketches of the girls I’ve said a couple of times: I really like the idea of fem!Lilia looking pretty much the same as the original Lilia. It’s supposed to be confusing – that’s the comedy and the interesting part of it, at least to me. I love that it’s tricky to tell them apart, just like with Idia, whose baggy clothes hide her entire body.
Who knows, maybe she used to have a low tied bun when she was living in a forest with Silver. But maybe she didn’t đŸ€· I feel like Lilia’s hair isn’t a commitment – she does whatever she feels like doing, just like the original Lilia. And I just happen to love it when her hair is identical to male!Lilia.
Funny enough, I think I drew the original Lilia with pigtails a couple of times lol
m1lk-n-cook1es asked:
Any Lilia/Epel headcanons?
Sorry, Anon; while we don’t mind them as a ship, we are not into them enough to have a proper hc list :( 
Anonymous asked:
So, i was wondering what would happen if someone were to break the hearts of Floyd and Jade. Like, imagine the Tweels (either together or separated) genuinely falling in love with someone, only for that certain someone to break their hearts.
Why am i mentioning this? Easy, i would love to see how "Dark" and "messed up" the situation would go if that were to happen, like what would happen to that poor fool who broke their hearts?
Remember that one infamous line jade delivered  in chapter 4? "If i were to be betrayed by someone the way you were. I'd lash out with torrent of unmitigated verbal abuse to break them down mentally, then bind them and drag them beneath the waves." I would LOVE to see that, honestly.
Anon! Sorry for the late reply.
That Jade quote still lives in our heads as a reminder that we should definitely do something about it, because this is such a juicy piece of Jade’s personality, but we never get to using it to its full potential. One day we will..! Still, we think about it pretty often. It’s a pretty good indicator of just how much Jade (and presumably Floyd as well) would hate the feeling of betrayal. We always talk about Azul being the most yandere-coded because of how petty he is and how unforgiving he is, but Jade and Floyd probably aren’t much better. Their only advantage is that they don’t get as attached as Azul does (and he isn’t someone who gets easily attached either, so that’s saying something). Which in a way makes the betrayal scenario even worse for these two: if they end up actually getting attached to someone and that person backstabs them, well it’s over for that poor fool indeed lol
It could happen to one of them or to either of them, and honestly a lot of it depends on who betrayed them. How close they were, what kind of relationship they had
 But in general, I feel like Jade didn’t lie when he said about dragging someone beneath the waves. I think these two might actually drown a person, then force the guy to drink a potion that allows him to breather underwater, tie him to a pole in an abandoned ship and leave him there in the cold darkness of the ocean, unable to die or move. And then they would come back from time to time to torment this person, maybe torture him, maybe just bully him a bit, maybe rape him. But always, always come back just in time before the potion’s effect wears off to force him to drink more of it. And then, after a couple of months of this life of nothing but loneliness, terrifying underwater ghost haunting and eel torment, they would suddenly stop appearing, as if they got bored and got over it. Just so that person doesn’t get too used to relying on them bringing the potion to keep him alive and all.
I can see this type of scenario for either Idia or Riddle, but it would be a bit different for both of them, I think. And of course, this is just one of millions of other options

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inkskinned · 1 month ago
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i haven't been back to CT since the accident.
which is to say I hate driving in CT, every time i have to go through it to get to NYC i spend the whole time holding my breath and hoping nobody acts stupid. there are exactly 2 things in CT worth preserving: rein's deli and the mystic seaport museum - and that second one only because my grandpa loved that shit.
now, i am not particularly familiar with the specifics but it just feels like CT is not an appropriate place for a christmas tree farm. when i got The Call, Roger on the other line called it "your standard CTF" and i had to say my what and he said "you've never heard that? CTF? christmas tree farm? CTF? - or haha, if you're woke, maybe holiday farm? haha".
i hung up after that for like 12 minutes just to take a deep breath and do a 10-minute meditation so i don't peak my blood pressure. and then i said sorry my phone died and ignored him talking while i googled. oregon has the highest number of CTFs per state. most firs and standard christmas trees are in zones 4-7 and CT is mostly a 6 state, so actually maybe i was just being biased against CT when i assumed you simply can't grow the spirit of christmas down there.
i like the name balsam fir and i keep repeating it to myself. i didn't know there were so many species of christmas trees. meanwhile Roger is still talking a mile a minute. "you don't gotta come in with force but really stick it to 'em. that's what Kevin and Herb taught me - none of that nice-guy stuff, okay? we're talking quick-and-easy. get in, hand 'em the folder, get out. it's efficiency that's the matter here."
i tune him out and then eventually get the pleasure of hanging up.
I only really work for this stupid place because i need insurance for my fucking laundry list of chronic "hysterical woman" issues (EDS, POTS, PCOS. probably something else with a fun acronym, why not). i fucking hate it here, except that it's actually been, like... fine? since the top 6 account managers kind of (i guess) disappeared - including my 2 bosses, Kevin and Herb.
most of us are just like, still doing our job. we still have meetings. there's less weird jokes. the meetings are much shorter. we just present our stuff and go home. so imagine how i fucking feel getting in my stupid honda civic and driving the 3 hours down from boston to bum-fuck just to... check on the boys.
i grew up on a farm, so im not too surprised when the road suddenly turns from "gravel" to "makeshift" to "shut the gps off, it's just confused at this point." no worries. a guy in a torn flannel drew a picture for me at the last gas station. he had leaned over and sniffed a little while sipping his Dunks. they got good trees.
they do. after a little white picket fence, suddenly the entire road is swarmed by them. firs on all sides like a coat. red twine marks off alleys of pine; cute little bows shine on the top of many. bells and white plastic deer and each branch dusted with glittering pristine snow. ornaments and little santas peeking out of present boxes.
i lean over the steering wheel and glance upwards. "aw shit. it's fucking cute here." in my passenger's seat, TERMINATION OF ACCOUNT is a red folder. i don't feel fucking good about this. i don't want to fucking do this. there's a freaking hand-painted sign saying family-owned! with handprints on it and tiny little names scrawled under it. jesus christ(mas). i'm 1000% going to hell for doing this.
on the other hand, Jen was one of the 6. like, losing the men was fine. but it is weird that jen never came back last month. i'm like, too feminist to feel okay with that. obviously yes quit your job and walk out but like - she had a life before she left. apartment and everything it sounds like.
i give up trying to bump my car over the potholes and end up walking the last 1.2 miles. it's been getting warmer these years, which i hate - but it's a lot colder here than i expected. the weather app said 54F. it feels maybe 21. the smell of snow warns me before i glance upwards - sure enough, decadent fresh flakes come tumbling down.
aw fuck. if it was gonna snow i should have put my windshield wipers up. i nestle closer into my jacket and pointlessly check my out-of-service phone for the 125th time. i realize only now i fucking forgot the folder in the fucking car.
the little house-barn-store is too close and i'm too cold at this point, so fine. the whole thing is covered in warm white lights and cute decorations. old christmas music is coming out of speakers placed at the end of the tree aisles.
i practice what i'm going to say. hi. i'm with Herrington Asset Management. we have sent, like. a lot of representatives. what did you do with the 6 entire human beings that came down here.
wait, why am i just now realizing our acronym is HAM? okay, so i'm going to say -
a man with a bright smile and a red flannel comes out from behind a work shed, wiping his hands on a rag. he's pretty, the way men can be pretty sometimes: rugged and approachable, blue eyes, 5'oclock shadow. he fills out that flannel well. "didn't hear ya come in, my apologies! what can i do ya for?"
i'm with HAM and I'm here to shut down your CTF. "hi."
"hi." he smiles wider. "welcome."
"um..." i sniff a little, feeling stupid. i keep thinking about my parents and how fucking hard it actually is to keep a farm. like, they say it a lot in movies, but it's genuinely like really very hard. fucking A, man. I don't want to do this.
he squints at me. "you from around here?"
i try not to bristle - is that because i'm fucking hispanic and allowed outdoors in CT - and suck in a breath. "no, i, um..." i decide to tell the truth. "a guy at cumby's told me where to find ya."
he laughs, and the sound is a sonic boom in the stillness. "that'd be Ron. he's a looker, huh? no, i recognize all our regulars, is all. don't recognize you."
HAM is located in Jersey and i work remote, so i take a second pass at radical honesty. my yoga teacher would be so proud. "i'm from boston, actually. just swinging through."
"oh? for real? laurel's from boston - she's my fiancée. how 'bout that. small world. can you believe - she left the big city for a dunce like me and now i get to marry the best lady around."
i do the little appropriate chuckle you are supposed to do when someone you don't know is also from the same major metropolitan area that you are from. also, that's extremely sweet to say about his partner. i am a sucker for wife-guys. "no kidding?"
"how are you liking conneticut? it's beautiful this time of year."
"it's..." fine? "more snow than i expected. weather said clear through 'til like thursday."
he offers me a warm hand. "i'm nick. what brings ya down here?"
i can't remember the name on the account. maybe it's in her name. and didn't i just say i was passing through? i flash him a smile while i think of the easiest way to warm him into the idea of shutting down his personal business. fuck. "um, just had some stuff to handle."
"that time of year, huh?" at my noncommittal smile, he waves a big, meaty paw. "come inside, i'll getcha some hot chocolate. laurel just made cookies."
he leads me into the store part of the building, and i stop for a second to pick up a tiny ornament shaped like a cottage. okay, this shit really is very cute.
"christmas really is the best holiday of all of 'em," he sighs. "wouldn't you agree?"
no, that's halloween. "sure," i say. i hold up the ornament. "this is nice." i glance around. "this is all... very rustic."
"sometimes you gotta just hit the brakes and slow down. this town is so perfect for that. places like this are so rare, ya know?"
oh i really fucking hope he doesn't know i'm from HAM. literally that would be such a vibe killer. "very rare," i agree.
i follow him into the back. i pause at the green velvet-rope stanchion that blocks off a hallway presumably leading into the "house" portion of the building. "oh. i can stay out here...?" because i am not going into this man's house. alone.
"don't be silly." he wraps his arm around mine like a gentleman and i almost scratch his damn eyes out, except i'm genuinely so fucking shocked by the boldness of the action that i just sort of follow him down the hallway. "i won't letcha leave without a cookie."
he walks me into a simply stunning kitchen. the ceiling skyrockets into a beautiful, tinseled roof. the living room folds out to the left of the kitchen island. a fire is roaring, and a massive christmas tree winks cheerily at me. outside the huge windows, the snow peacefully rests in perfect layers.
well, there's part of their money problems. they need better insulation because paying for heat in a building with this many windows has got to cost an arm and a leg. nevermind how much dust must collect on those exposed beams. why do people design houses like this - have they never cleaned?
also, they need to stop spending half their budget on christmas decorations. surely not every surface needs to be frosted with pottery barn items. it is dangerously close to a modernized cracker barrel in here. i wander into the living room, trying not to be jealous of the casual wealth.
nick stands next to me and chuckles. "this kinda weather always makes me want cookies. but that's what laurel's here for, i guess."
"you have a pretty place," i say, because i am clearly staring.
"oh, i don't know. needed a woman's touch." he winks at me and goes behind the granite kitchen island to wash his hands. "you shoulda seen it before laurel."
"oh yeah?"
he nods. "had some money troubles. 'course, she is an angel and organized a whole fundraiser. mind you - she's only been here but a second when she does. i proposed to her right then and there."
i can't help it. i genuinely fucking love that. "that is incredible," i say. "how precious to find love like that."
"she's my answer to all life's problems. truly."
"honey?" a warm voice greets us and a lady comes around the corner, one hand in an oven mitt. "do we have a customer?"
i stop moving.
her hair is darker now. her smile is wider. something opens a pit in my stomach and i fall through myself. i put my hand on my stupid useless phone and take a step backwards.
"oh!" her white teeth shine. "hi there. you're not from around here, are you?" she picks up a tray of cookies. "i recognize all our regulars."
the man laughs. "rob is tellin' on us again." she laughs too, tinkly and high and beautiful.
of course she doesn't recognize me, we're remote and don't work on the same accounts, i was never high up enough -
nick gives her a little slap on the back that makes her stumble. she laughs and wipes a little bit of flour on his nose affectionately.
maybe i'm not being fair. she could have legitimately found love and dropped out of our shitty job. he wraps his arms all the way around her and buries his nose in her hair. "my girl," he says.
"i'm laurel," she smiles at me. "i'm his fiancee. come inside, let me getcha some hot chocolate."
he picks up a cookie from the counter and waves at me. "i'm gonna go whack on a tractor for a few minutes, but i'll leave you in the capable hands of my beautiful christmas girl," he promises. "warm up, and then let's go back out there and pick you out something nice."
i force a smile at him and at her and watch him leave. i do not move. i stay perfectly still, like an animal. because here's the thing: her name isn't laurel.
maybe she's conning him?
i stare at her. she doesn't seem to notice, instead taking a bag of white icing out of the large, beautiful fridge. "how are you liking conneticut? isn't it beautiful this time of year?"
"jen, what the fuck is happening."
she arranges a single gingerbread man on her countertop and starts icing him. "how are you liking conneticut?" she repeats. "isn't it -"
"it's beautiful this time of year," i say.
"christmas is the best holiday of all," she sighs, "wouldn't you agree?"
"sure," i say. i put the phone in my pocket. i stand up straighter. "i am really just..." going to leave now. maybe i should try subtlety. "don't i know you from somewhere?" like, ya know, work?
the cookie is too hot and the icing is melting as she draws the outlines on the gingerbread. a bead of sweat trickles down her nose. "i'm from the big city," she says. "but now i am going to be married to the best man around. i'm his beautiful christmas girl."
"right, but which big city?"
"i'm from the big city. how are you liking conneticut?"
there is ice in my gut. i am getting the pure, foreboding sense of fuck that which i am pretty sure is genetically engineered in me. in spanish we call it espookies. i try to make it look casual while i walk closer and closer to the exit. i pretend to look at the decorations closely. "i'm just wondering because your partner said you're from boston?"
she laughs. the cookie icing is pooling on the counter. "sometimes you gotta just hit the brakes and slow down. this town is so perfect for that. places like this are so rare, wouldn't you agree?" she pushes the gingerbread to the side and starts working on the next one.
it's hot in here, i realize. too-hot. sweat licks down my back. i watch it slide down her neck, down her arms.
she outlines a melting gingerbread man. "what brings you down here?"
"i had..." i feel my voice crack. the hallway back into the store is within a few steps at this point. "...some stuff to handle."
"that t-"
"that time of year," i finish for her.
she stares at me. the icing has burst out of the bag and is melting down her wrists and over her apron. "doesn't this weather make you want cookies?"
i put one heel into the hallway, trying to back up as subtly as possible.
she looks up at me. icing melts over the counter. "doesn't the weather make you want cookies?"
i'm so close to making a bolt for it. but when i look at her and the icing and her perfectly applied lipstick i just fucking can't. my heart breaks for her. i need to at least fucking try.
"jen - laurel - whatever," i hiss. "i don't know what fucking happened but - we need to fucking leave." i glance behind me. "jen, this isn't fucking okay. whatever he's doing to you - we can get out of here. call the cops. something."
"it's beautiful this time of year."
"jen. come on girl, i will put you in my fucking car. but we got to go. i don't know if it's like a cult thing or -" i hork down a breath and feel dangerously close to crying. "please."
"doesn't the weather make you want cookies? that's what i'm here for!"
i take another step backwards and a hand comes down on my shoulder. when i jump, nick is back, and laughing.
"sorry about that." tucked under one arm is a huge ax. nick wipes his hands on a rag. "low on oil. you get a cookie from the missus? that's what she's -"
"balsam fir," i blurt. "i'm looking for a balsam fir."
he puts the axe over one shoulder. "oh? i love balsam. good choice. didn't expect a city slicker like you to know much about christmas trees." he lets out a laugh and so does she.
sweat is beading down my back. "i grew up on a farm," i feel my voice come out creaky and high.
he laughs again. "when you came in, i thought - this lady is corporate. you know how we take to that."
"money troubles," jen says from the kitchen. "we had money troubles."
my lips feel dry. i manage to slide by him, closer to the store. i force a watery smile. "oh. no, sir."
"they come in with a folder, talking about our CTF. i said i've been doing this for years."
my heart is slamming against my chest. i take another step down the hallway. i throw a look to jen.
she opens the oven and sticks her head inside.
"you know," nick says. "the firs are out by where you left your car."
i didn't tell him where i left my car. "oh, great." i say. "must be a sign." i take another step. and then another. i feel the weight of the velvet rope behind me and jump a second time.
"from the big city" jen says, her voice muffled by the oven. "how are you liking conneticut? this place needed a woman's touch."
at the other end of the long hallway, Nick swings the axe to come home in his hands. "it needs a woman's touch," he says.
yeah, absofuckinglutely not.
i turn and bolt, wiggling past the rope, stumbling into the many, many ornament displays. above me, white christmas rings out while i run-walk through wreaths and bobbles and reindeer. tears prick at the side of my eyes but being raised on a farm teaches you the professional art of being incredibly good at a panicked run-walk.
behind me, i hear nick pacing the store. the rope must have slowed him down. he's bigger than i am - he doesn't weave through things as easily. thank god.
i throw myself against the front doors and burst out into the chill and immediately feel a cough in my chest. the snow whips through the air. i dash past handmade right this way to holiday cheer! signs and tinsel. behind me, like a ghost, nick stomps his way ever-closer. i dart into the thickest part of the trees, hoping he will lose me in the snow and branches.
"you're from boston, right?" he shouts. "my ex was from boston. small world."
i dart across the wet snow and almost slide on the black ice underfoot. fuck fuck fuck fuck i cannot run a fucking mile in the cold. see above multiple chronic reasons for this. my bones and joints are already fucking hurting as i try to shimmy my way through the boughs, alternatively running and hiding. if i survive this, i wont be able to move for like a week.
if. good fucking lord. if.
"it's a nice place," he calls. i can't locate him in the whip of the snow. "it just needs a woman's touch."
thankfuckinggod im used to snow and blizzards because otherwise i would be utterly fucked. i try to keep any amount of calm in my body while i manage the slide-waddle of running on black ice - the backwards lean and body-tilt that i've practiced many times over farmland. the kind of tilt-run that is only possible if you've done it before. thankfuckinggod i'm not a city slicker - the trick isn't to rush.
but fuck it would be nice to rush right now!
over the speakers, white christmas restarts. i fork my keys through my fingers into a sharpened fist. i pause only for a second to pick up a particularly swingable gnome and then i keep fucking running. my chest feels like liquid fire. i can't stop coughing. christmas trees rise up on all sides of me. i can't get a breath down. the air feels like a fire hose. every step i take fucking echoes. go go go go go go.
i dart, he laughs, i freeze. i dash my way forwards. a branch cuts into my cheek. my nose is full of the smell of pine. my hands are sticky with sap and i'm covered in green needles.
i keep going. if i fucking die on a christmas tree farm i hope i poison all of the trees and end christmas. i run and hide and run and hide. i have no idea where that fucker is but i am not going to be caught relaxing for a moment.
my knee makes a particularly sharp turn and i know for a fact i've just done some serious damage. i slap my hand down onto it and hide inside the branches a particularly thick tree, trying to catch my breath for a second.
a family owned! sign winks up at me. the little handprints are the names of children, but the big ones say Steve and Piper. the date on it is from this year.
i simply do not have the time to care about that. i shiver through several calming breaths, trying to force my body back into running. i stumble into a clearing and recognize it as the road i took in.
something loud and banging starts and i know in my bones it's the sounds of a tractor starting up.
my heart drops and i seriously think about just laying down on the ground and letting him run me over.
except there is my car, blanketed peacefully in a white layer. i should have put the fucking windshield wipers up.
what-the-fuck-ever. my hands are shaking too much. i just need to get inside the fucking thing and go. i will ruin my suspension but i will take every pothole dead on if i must.
the tractor lights slice through the blizzard, heading right towards my car. it bounces jovially over the snow and potholes, unhindered.
nick is on the back of it, swinging his axe, laughing.
over the hum of his engine he calls: "how are you liking conneticut?"
Sending my most reliable corporate staffer to Connecticut to shut down a Christmas tree farm. Wish me luck
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0x1lovebot · 3 years ago
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đŸđšđ„đ„đąđ§đ  𝐱𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 đŸđšđ„đ„đąđ§đ  𝐹𝐼𝐭.
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nishimura riki x fem!reader.
in which the boy you fell in love with falls out of love with you.
genre; angst.
warnings; heartbreak.
1.0k words.
not proofread!!
a/n; I would just like to thank my wife @odxrilove for helping me through the writer's block that immediately hit me when I started writing this. dori, you are a gem and I have an extreme amount of love for you in my heart💍❣.
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it hurts. it hurts so much to watch the thing you work so hard to keep together just fall apart right before your eyes. and it hurts, even more, when it’s slow. when you can see each piece slowly crumble away into nothingness as if it were never there in the first place. you pretend not to notice it at first. the way riki’s eyes lingered on her whenever she walked by. or the way he smiled so warmly at her whenever she looked at him. or the way he gave her his full attention whenever she spoke to him. but it becomes impossible to ignore when riki started avoiding you as well. he started dodging you, always saying that he was busy doing homework. or he was hanging out with his friends. he was always too busy, too busy to be with you, or talk to you or even text you. and yet he was never too busy for her. one ring of his phone and he answered immediately. one word and he would already be out the door, rushing to her instead of staying with you. at first, you tried rationalizing his behavior, hoping that it was just a phase. 
‘all couples go through rough patches’ you thought. ‘we’re a strong couple, we’ll get through this.’  
but it was all in vain. riki was slipping through your fingers like sand through an hourglass, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. and as much as it pained you, you had to say something. you loved riki with all your heart, but you couldn’t keep putting yourself through this. you couldn’t watch the person you fell so in love with, fall out of love with you.
you had to speak to him. you had to get it over with, you just couldn’t live like this. it was around 4 am when you called riki that night, hoping that he would answer you this time. and for the first time in months, he actually did.
“y/n,” he groaned over the phone, his voice laced with sleep. “why are you calling me so early?”
he spoke harshly as if you were some rando interrupting him, instead of his loving girlfriend that cared so much about him. it was like there was no more love for you left in him.
“i'm sorry i woke you up,” your voice trembled. “i just- we need to talk.”
“can’t it wait until school tomorrow?”
“no! it can’t. just meet me at the park in front of my house. please?”
“yeah sure, i'll be there soon.” riki sighed before hanging up on you. 
you sat on that park bench for what felt like hours, trying to prepare yourself for what was to come. maybe choosing to meet up in the place where you and riki first met wasn't the best idea. it brought back memories, memories of when riki used to wrap his arm around your shoulder and hold you close to him. memories of when he would smile at you lovingly whenever you spoke to him. memories of when riki looked at you like you were the only person in the world.
but none of that happens anymore because he doesn't love you anymore.
"hey y/n." a voice drew you out of your thoughts. it was riki. even in a beat-up black hoodie, sweatpants, and disheveled hair, riki was still the most beautiful person in your eyes. of course he was, you were still in love with him. and that's why this was that much harder for you.
"have a seat, riki. let's get this over with." 
riki sat down on the bench next to you, his eyes trained on the side of your face. it was the first time he had looked at you in months but you kept your eyes on the ground. you couldn't bring yourself to look at him.
"y/n is everything ok? you seem off." 
'wow he actually sounds concerned for me' you thought. but you knew that's just how riki was. he's always cared about others. he sounded like the old riki. the one that used to love you.
"yeah everything is fine. i just wanted to know when you fell out of love with me."
the silence between you two was deafening. it was suffocating you. you looked over at riki for the first time since he arrived, only to see him staring at the ground in front of you. 
"y/n i am so sorry." he whispered. "i didn't mean for it to happen." 
in that moment your heart shattered into pieces. you knew it was true but hearing him admit to it
 hearing him admit it broke you in ways you didn't know that you could be broken. and the worst part was that you knew he wasn't sorry for falling in love with someone else. he was only sorry that you had to find out this way. he felt guilty.
you abruptly stood up from the park bench, facing away from riki. “it’s okay. i'm not mad. i'm just sorry i wasn't enough for you." 
that's when you started to walk away. away from all the pain, away from all the love, away from him.
"y/n please! can we talk about this?" riki called out to you. but you both knew that there was nothing to talk about. it was over. there's no point in standing in a burning building as it crumbles into ashes around you. 
after letting out a shaky breath, you started to walk away from riki, leaving him alone on the bench. the burning sensation behind your eyes intensified with every step you took from him. the tears were building, but you held them in. you had to hold them, they were your last piece of dignity and you intended on keeping it.
it wasn't until you got back home and were in the comfort of your own bedroom, that you finally let the tears fall. they streamed down your face as you sobbed violently. it was over. and even though you knew this was a long time coming that didn’t make it hurt any less. that night, you cried yourself to sleep, wishing that you hadn’t fallen in love with riki, it would’ve saved you a lot of time and pain if you hadn't.
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writing-on-the-wahl · 3 years ago
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What Are The Odds Part 5
(Finally)
So fun story I wrote a continuation MONTHS ago but then realized I needed more to happen before that scene
. So i wrote this
 PART 5 đŸ€—
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
—————
The knock sounded at the door several hours after Hero had shut herself in the guest bedroom. She’d tried to fall back asleep, but their conversation and her childish flight from the room had kept her from slipping into a peaceful rest.
“What?” The word was harsh and sharp. Apparently it hadn’t been long enough to let her anger dissipate.
“Make a list of things you want my sidekick to pick up from your apartment.”
Hero’s heart sank at the unspoken message: you’re going to be here for a while.
Her back slid down the door as she sank to the ground, running the odds of surviving a jump out the penthouse window.
0%
Shocker.
Tears welled up in her eyes, and she pressed her hands against them, hard.
If only she hadn’t asked Villain to kidnap her.
If only she hadn’t gone to the gala.
If only she hadn’t stumbled across those files.
If only, if only....
But the only odds she could see were in the future. There was no point looking back.
She ran the odds of Villain killing her today.
7%
Not bad.
She ran the odds of him catching her if she tried to escape today.
96%
Not great.
Hero sighed and pushed off the floor to find a pen and paper.
She had a list to make.
—————
Hero shifted from foot to foot in the entry of the Villain’s penthouse apartment as Sidekick gave Villain all the updates on the campaign and how many points Politician had lost in the polls thus far due to his association with and donations from Billionaire. Villain was leaning against the kitchen doorframe, a satisfied smirk growing with each bit of news. She couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes kept flitting to her.
She’d avoided speaking to Villain all day, hiding in her room and ignoring his frequent attempts to lure her out with the promise of food and company.
Unnerved by the attention, Hero focused on the bag still clutched in Sidekick’s hand. Her own hands were uncomfortably empty as she stood there, unsure if she was supposed to be overhearing the conversation.
As Sidekick switched to discussing the declining quality of Politician’s speeches, Hero checked the odds of Politician winning, then couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. Serve him right.
The hair on the back of her neck prickled, and she ran the odds a certain golden-eyed villain was looking at her.
Yep.
Her heart fluttered for the briefest moment before she remembered why she was here. The smile fell from her face.
Hero shifted backwards, wondering if she should just return to her room and come back for the bag later.
Villain caught the movement and lifted a hand to cut off Sidekick’s breathless spiel. “Thank you, Sidekick. We can continue this in the morning.”
She nodded in understanding as she looked between Villain and Hero before extending the strap of the bag towards Hero. Hero slid the strap of the duffle onto her shoulder, shifting under its weight while Sidekick assured Villain that no one had seen her sneak into the apartment. Hero wasn’t sure how anyone could not see her in her six-inch stilettos and bright pink pencil skirt, but she kept that to herself.
Thanking Sidekick, she began to turn back down the hall that led to her room.
“Why the shampoo?”
Hero froze, the blood draining from her face at Sidekick’s query. She’d made sure to specify on her list that Sidekick bring her drugstore brand shampoo and conditioner.
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Villain looking on with raised eyebrows as she mumbled something about liking the way it smelled. Heart racing, she excused herself to take a shower.
She placed her bag on the bathroom counter and pulled out her vanilla-scented shampoo, pretending not to notice expensive salon-brand shampoo in the guest bathroom.
Sometime later, she cracked open the bedroom door, her rumbling stomach relieved to find it unlocked. She slipped down the dark hall in socked feet, passing the the living room, where the half open door spilled the colorful lights from the TV into the hallway.
She kept her eye on the living room as she turned into the doorway of the kitchen.
Where she promptly collided with Villain.
Hero stumbled back against the doorframe, grasping the edge of the wood as her heart raced.
“Running away?”
The low voice sent a shiver down her spine, and her eyes shot up to where Villain’s face hovered mere inches from hers. One hand rested on the doorframe above her, trapping her in.
“No! I was just going to the kitchen.” She glanced beyond him towards the granite countertops, mahogany table, and her least favorite chair.
Villain was looking down at her with an inscrutable expression on his face.
Hero dropped her head, cheeks burning with shame as she remembered all the times Villain had knocked on her door today, offering food, sending Sidekick for her clothes

He was unexpectedly considerate.
And she’d given him the cold shoulder all day.
She wasn’t angry anymore. She just felt hollow.
In truth, she hadn’t really been angry; she’d been afraid. Politician had made it very clear what would happen if she revealed what she’d stumbled upon. But it was easier to be angry than afraid.
“I’m sorry I was so angry,” she whispered, studying her fuzzy blue socks. It was the best she could do.
“It’s okay.” Warm fingers softly tilted her chin up. “I promised not to press you for answers and then I did. I’m sorry.”
His face was sincere, his voice regretful. Warmth spread through her.
There were questions she wanted to ask, odds she knew she should run. But all she could think about was the way his hand slipped from her chin to gently tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“Vanilla.”
“I- what??” Hero’s brain struggled to make sense of Villain’s quiet comment because somehow he was standing even closer than before.
“Your shampoo.” He fingered a strand of her long hair. “It’s nice.”
Her stomach was a menagerie of butterflies as he continued to twirl her hair between his fingertips.
She drew in a sharp breath as his smoldering eyes met hers.
His handsome features softened. “Hero
” the quiet murmur faded as his gaze moved down to her lips. His other hand slid up her shoulders and into her hair, gently cradling her head as he slanted his mouth down towards hers.
Hero leaned forward, and her eyes fluttered closed as the distance between them shrank.
A cold rush of air greeted her as Villain abruptly shifted away, his hands falling to his sides.
His voice was flat as he gestured to the kitchen. “Dinner is on a plate in the fridge.”
Then he strode past her, his bedroom door shutting with a deafening click in the silence he left behind.
It was a long time before Hero was able to drag herself to the fridge and collect the perfectly arranged plate of food.
Taglist:
@im-a-wonderling @shieldmaiden-of-gondor @watercolorfreckles @distance-does-not-matter @onestopheroxvillain @lolafaiy @chaoticgoodandi @1becky1 @tobeornottobeateacher @himynameisorla @superherosweet @brekker-by-brekkerr @crazytwentythrees @great-day-today @sunflower1000 @ill-eat-you-if-you-cross-me @selectivegeekwithstandards @chibicelloking @trantolette @sapphiques @jinpanman @genesissane @wish1bone1 @amongtheonedaisy @distractedlydistracted @kitsunesakii @glitterythief @jinx1365 @cherrychewingbrat @in-patient-princess
✹ Special thanks to @im-a-wonderling and @shieldmaiden-of-gondor for reading/editing ✹
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reidsconverse · 4 years ago
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The Price of Happiness - iii
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Prof!Spencer X Fem!Student!Reader
Summary: Reader has dilemma and Spencer has a solution....
Warnings: 15 year age gap, Eventual Smut, Sexual Themes and Undertones, Bad Language (is this a warning?) flashback in italics 
Word Count: 3.9K | thank you to @spencersawkward bc this wouldnt have been written without her!
A/N: ok this was originally going to be like 8K but I split it into half so chapter 4 will be a direct continuation of the ending of this! Also thank you so much for being patient with my awful upload schedule, you guys are truly amazing!
Your week had, strangely, been going great. You'd managed to finish all of your assignments, completed all the menial household tasks you'd been too busy to, and you had even managed to binge-watch every single episode of the new series of Doctor Who.
Yeah, your week had been great...until it wasn't.
Fire alarms, your neighbours arguing and the hollow rattle of your old radiator.
You were used to the nightly noises of your apartment building, but the sound of water hitting the floor and the creaks of the leaky pipe above you drew you out of your sleep. It took you a moment to realise what was happening, but a tiny droplet of water hitting your face made you open your eyes and look frantically around your room. The first things you noticed were your clothes and belongings soaked in dirty water.
You were tempted to ignore the problem for just a few more minutes, but the incessant sounds taunted you until you finally threw off the covers and slowly knelt to the ground, visibly cringing as your knees met the awful feeling of soggy carpet. You began to sort through the mess on the floor, the heaps of clean laundry you'd been telling yourself to put away for weeks were ruined, and you swore you could hear the faint sound of your mother's voice in the back of your head, telling you that it was your fault for being lazy and letting it pile up in the first place.
It had just turned 7:30 am when your landlord showed up and began pounding on your door. You quickly got back up and walked out into the living room so you could open the door for him. You'd called him a few moments after you'd woken up, almost an hour before he'd showed up. He'd responded with a gruff, "What do you want?" you could practically hear him rolling his eyes on the other end of the line as you explained the reason behind your call.
"How did this happen?" You said, wiping your damp hands on your pyjama shorts and walking over to where he was standing. Your landlord sucked; he was an older man who always came across as slightly creepy and was notorious for being a cheapskate nearly everything in your shitty apartment was falling apart, half the appliances didn't work, and you swore you almost froze last winter because he refused to turn on the heat for the building the only reason you had agreed to rent the place was that it was rent-controlled and 5 minutes from campus.
"Pipe must've burst overnight." He said with a shrug, and maybe it was the fact that you were so sleep deprived from staying up late last night studying for the redo of your midterm for Dr Reid's class or maybe it was that stupid nonchalant look on your landlord's face, but all you wanted to do was yell at him and give him a piece of your mind. But you couldn't, so you settled for getting together your most passive-aggressive look and speaking in a manner that would no doubt show your irritation.
"You mean the leaking pipe that I told you about that you said you'd fixed?" You crossed your arms over your chest.
"I did fix it...I think. Anyhow someone will be by later to repair the damage." He said, turning around to walk back towards the door, he looked at you again, and a small smile appeared on his face before he opened his mouth. "I'll just add it to your rent this month." That bastard.
The moment he left, you began scrambling around looking for your phone, and after sifting through the piles of clothes in your, you finally found it. Your relief was short-lived, however, because when you saw the time, your heart sunk. 8:25. You only had 5 minutes to find something to wear and get to class. Because your luck was basically non-existent, one quick look at your schedule reminded you it was none other than Professor Reid's class. As much as you wanted to see him, you couldn't deny part of you hoped he was still away. But, truthfully, you didn't know if you were ready to face him.
You let out an exasperated sigh as you bent down to open the bottom drawer of your dresser, which you'd aptly named 'the junk drawer'. It was full of things that hadn't found a home elsewhere in your room, such as old clothes that you hadn't had time to donate, fancy dress costumes and old nick-nacks you'd decided you just had to bring from home because you had an awful habit of forming emotional attachments to inanimate objects. Reaching into the packed drawer, you pulled out the first two things that could pass as an outfit and put it on. Usually, you would take your time getting ready for his class, even if you were late. It wasn't that you wanted to impress him; you just liked looking put together so he wouldn't have more reason to judge you, not that you expect him to be that kind of person. Still, he always seemed to stare at you, and you couldn't help but wonder what he thought when he saw you. You just hoped it was all good things... Ok, so maybe you did want to impress him and honestly, who could blame you.
But today, with everything that had happened, you did not have the energy to care about your appearance and besides, you hadn't seen Spencer in a week, and since then, he hadn't given you any indication that he was back in town or at the college. You honestly had no reason to think that he would be there. So when you entered the stuffy classroom at exactly 8:39, wearing the old high school skirt that you had packed as a joke paired with a tiny tank top that had shrunk in the wash and you saw him standing at the front of the class with a shit-eating smirk on his face, you wished you had at least taken the time to stop in front of a mirror before leaving your apartment,
"Miss Y/L/N, nice of you to join us," He said, and you couldn't help but take notice of the way his eyes were trailing your body as you quickly moved to take a seat in the row directly in front of him. He slowly paced the floor, making his way towards where you were sat, standing straight in front of you and the look he gave you was almost intimidating. He smiled, and you noticed his attention was solely focused on you, as though the rest of the class had disappeared and it was just the two of you in the room, "I'll see you after class." He quipped, his gaze still stuck on you, and though the moment was only a few seconds long, you felt as though it lasted for hours. He gave you one last glance before turning his attention back to the class, his hands moving energetically as he continued with the topic he'd been discussing before you had walked in.
You felt someone nudge your side, and you heard them speak before you could turn to face them, "Damn he wants to see you again?" Iris, your friend, said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, she'd been suspicious of you for a while now, and you could tell she knew something was up, especially after your conversation last week...
You'd gotten home from the cafe to find Iris waiting for you outside your apartment, and you'd barely had time to get through the door before she was hurling questions at you.
"Was it a date?" She asked you as she ran to take a seat on your old beat-up couch, crossing her legs and turning to face you.
"Iris..." You sighed, taking off your jacket and placing it on the armchair before taking a seat beside her, placing a cushion on your lap so you would have something to fiddle with. You had a bad habit of having to play with something when you were nervous, and right now, your nerves were through the roof.
"What? You said you would tell me...you always tell me everything." She was right, you two had known each other since high school, and she had been the one person you knew you could run to in any situation, so keeping this secret from her was much more challenging you had expected.
"It was nothing, I saw him at the cafe and I decided to ask him about my midterm..."
"The one you failed?" She said before letting out a slight squeal as you threw the extra cushion at her playfully.
"Yes, the one I failed, thank you for reminding me." You said, jokingly rolling your eyes and laughing as she held her hands up in mock surrender, "Anyway, he's like never available when I am so I just took my opportunity."
"And?" She persisted,
"And nothing, he invited me to sit with him so we could discuss it and that's what I did. I wasn't ready to leave and I wasn't there with anyone so I didn't have any excuse." You got up to walk over to the fridge, grabbing an unopened bottle of wine and 2 glasses before making your way back to the table.
"Right..." Her tone was riddled with suspicion, and you couldn't blame her. She quickly took the glasses from your hand, pouring herself a drink before doing the same for you. As she handed you your drink, you saw something unreadable pass over her face.
"What?" You could hear the defensiveness in your voice. Truthfully you had known that whatever tale you spun wasn't going to be good enough. For a moment, you debated telling the truth. Still, you knew it would end up being too messy, mainly because, despite the talk with Spencer, you were still confused about what was going on.
"Nothing... he just seems to be very friendly with you s'all..." She lifted the drink to her lips to hide her smirk, and all you could do was roll your eyes.
"I'm not discussing this again.. he does not have a 'thing' for me." Your fingers formed quotations around the word to emphasise the ridiculousness of the situation. However, you had to admit you'd been wondering if that had been the real reason behind his sudden and less than expected offer.
"Whatever you say..." Her teasing tone made you throw your head back in frustration, and you quickly finished the drink in your hand. "It wouldn't be all bad though, I mean he's really att-..."
"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Is." You said, but the look on your face told her you weren't about to disagree with what she was about to say. She just shook her head with a laugh and thankfully changed the topic to talk about her awful boss. Though you tried to listen, your mind wandered to your conversation with Spencer and when you would speak to him next...
*
"Hello... Earth to Y/N.." Iris's voice made you jump in your seat, and she laughed as she watched you turn to glare at her, "Wow, someone caught your eye huh?" She teased, and you couldn't stop a flustered look taking over your face.
"What? I don't-." You stammered out; the heat began rising to your cheeks in embarrassment as she gestured her head towards something, and as your eyes followed her gaze, you realised you had been staring at Dr Reid. He was deep in a conversation with someone about... well, you didn't really have a clue given that you hadn't been paying attention to anything he'd been saying. Still, you couldn't stop the small smile that crept onto your face when you saw how enthusiastic he seemed about the discussion.
"Oh my god, not again... Y/N!" She lightly smacked your arm to bring you out of your daze. You inadvertently let out a tiny whine which, unfortunately, attracted the attention of the one person you had been hoping to avoid for as long as you could.
"Is everything ok?" He asked, looking away from the student, who looked less than pleased with the loss of attention from him, to face your direction. He had his ridiculously attractive smirk on his ridiculously attractive face and a slight hint of amusement in his tone. It's weird, you thought to yourself, the way a simple action could make you dizzy and how when he spoke, it was like it was the only sound in the room, as though his voice encompassed your entire being.
"Just peachy Dr Reid." Iris shot him a quick smile, ignoring the obvious glare you were subtly throwing at her. You heard him let out a hum, one that told you he didn't believe what he had been told, but he brushed it off and began turning back to what he was doing, but not before glancing at you again and shooting you a quick wink. Your eyes widened at the gesture, and if it hadn't been for the slight smirk still placed on his face, you would've thought you were making it up.
"Anyway," Iris began speaking, and you turned to face her, making sure this time your attention didn't stray elsewhere, "I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight, we could watch New Girl and drink wine and I can tell you about how I'm pretty sure I met the love of my life last night."
"Tonight?" You asked. She nodded as you began racking your brain to remember if you had any previous plans, "Sure, I'll be by at 8?"
"Great! Mind picking up Chinese from the place by your apartment? I'd do it but the guy always gives you spring rolls and I could really use the free food." She giggled at her own comment, and you didn't hesitate to stick your tongue out at her jokingly before nodding to confirm that you would do as she requested.
You suddenly became very aware of everyone around you shuffling and packing away. After taking a glance at your phone, you realised the class was over. Shit. Iris had clearly also realised the time given that she quickly gathered her belongings before getting up as she looked at you with a teasing smile, "Enjoy your talk with Dr Reid...." She said before walking away, and before you could respond with a sarcastic remark, she'd walked away. You sighed as you slouched back in your seat, waiting for the classroom to empty so Dr Reid could talk to you. You weren't sure if this was about your conversation last week or if he was genuinely mad at you for being late, it didn't seem like the latter based on that wink, but if there was one thing you'd learnt in this class, it was that human beings were confusing. Dr Spencer Reid was no exception to that fact.
It took a few moments for the room to empty, and it somehow felt smaller with fewer people in it. Your eyes followed Spencer as he moved around the room, collecting his belongings and packing up. He closed his bag and slung it across his shoulder, all without even glancing up at you. You were getting antsy, the suspense of simply speaking to him was overwhelming, and you subconsciously began tapping your fingers against the desk in front of you. It seemed like hours before he called your name to get your attention.
"Y/N?" He spoke softly, still not looking at you as he began walking towards the door, "Walk with me." It wasn't a question or an option; it was a demand. So without even thinking, you picked up your bag and rushed out of the class to where he was standing in the hallway. You once again found yourself walking side by side with him. It was silent, but you were grateful; you were so overflowed with nerves you weren't sure you were capable of formulating a sentence.
After what seemed to be the longest 5 minutes of your life, the two of you reached his office, and he wordlessly opened the door and gestured for you to follow him. He walked over to his desk and placed his bag on his chair before turning back to face you. His eyes trailed down your body again, and whilst his undivided attention didn't make you uncomfortable, you were becoming more aware of how revealing your outfit was. Instinctively your hands moved to pull your skirt down, so it covered more of your legs, and the action snapped Spencer from his almost trance like state. He let out a small cough and smiled at you.
"Would you care to explain why you were late...again?" He said, crossing his arms and leaning back against the desk. His question came from a place of concern more than an annoyance. Despite everything that was happening between the two of you, he was still your professor. It was his responsibility to make sure you were following the rules.
You paused for a moment, and you were unsure why you were so hesitant to explain your situation. It wasn't your fault that everything had gone to shit. The whole situation was taking an emotional toll on you, the leaky pipe, the added stress from your landlord, and how up in the air your 'arrangement' with Spencer was..everything was piling up. You felt like you were close to completely losing it. Instead, you found a new interest in your beat-up converse, slowly analysing each scuff and stain on them as you tried to find a way to answer his question without choking up. You took in a deep breath before answering, "My apartment is...well it's falling apart and that leaky pipe I was telling you about? Yeah, that burst... all over my clothes and might I add this isn't my usual attire it's just all that I had left. Anyway, I had an argument with my landlord about the whole thing and I lost track of time, I'm sorry."
As you finished your rant, you saw his face soften. He sighed before turning around to bring his bag in front of him. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so hard on you." You watched in confusion as he pulled his wallet out of the bag and took out a single black card. "Here." He said as he handed it to you, so casually...as though it was normal as if he didn't need to think about it.
"What...what is that for?" Your hands stayed glued to your sides as your eyes darted from the card in his hand to his face as you searched for even a hint of humour in them.
"You said your clothes were ruined?" He questioned, watching your expressions closely, and when you hesitantly nodded your head to confirm what he'd asked, he began walking towards you. "Buy yourself some new ones."
"But I thought you said-" You started to say, you were more than confused at this point. When the terms of your agreement had been made, he'd been unequivocal that the money he would give you was only for things that would help your education. He'd written you a check for your tuition and reimbursed you for the books you'd had to buy. You'd been able to use the money saved on education to pay your rent this month and pay off some bills, which had been amazing. You were so grateful, but this...him giving you money for clothes was too much. You were about to enter a different territory of this agreement, one which you hadn't discussed, and it made you nervous. "I can't do that."
"Yes you can, I choose how I want you to spend my money y/n." His words came out so nonchalantly, and he took another step towards you. He was so close you could smell his cologne and the slight hint of coffee on his breath, something which ordinarily you would've found unappealing. Still, it seemed as though everything about Dr Reid was enticing to you. His hand was slightly shaking as he lifted it to once again hand you his card, "Buy yourself a few things."
"Dr Reid... I don't... we didn't agree on this." You wanted to say more, you wanted to protest more, tell him he was ridiculous, and there was no way you would take his money to go on a shopping spree, but you couldn't.
Because the moment he saw you open your mouth to speak again, his hand hesitantly reached out to wrap around your wrist. He lifted it slowly before turning it over, so your palm was laying flat in front of him. His touch was soft, almost featherlike, as though you were made of glass and the simplest of motions would shatter you. He gently placed the card into your hand and instantly took a step back, so you had no other choice than to hold onto it. Your skin from where his hold had been felt like it was tingling, and you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks from how overwhelmed you were.
"Look you can't come to class without clothes right?" He said, and you bit back a slight smirk. You were eternally grateful for the nerves that were allowing you to keep your mouth shut because the crude comments that were flying through your head would have turned this conversation really awkward, really fast. You nodded in agreement with him, and he continued, "And if you can't come to class you'll fall behind...correct?" Once again, you nodded. "So technically... doesn't this count as helping with your education?" A smirk took over his face as he saw your face fall in defeat, Cheeky bastard. He'd cornered you, and he knew it. His stupid smart brain and his ability to have an explanation for everything was something you both hated and admired about him.
"Come with me." It was his turn to look surprised, his face dropped for a moment, and you almost kicked yourself for letting the words fall out of your mouth. "I'd just... I'd feel more comfortable if you were there."
He was silent for a moment as he took in your words. He wanted to say yes, he wanted to spend time with you, he always did, but truthfully he didn't know if he could handle it, handle you. "Y/N..." He said; his voice was low, and his hands moved across his face, hesitant.
"Please?" Your eyes grew wide, and your mouth formed a slight pout, you looked adorable, and at that moment, Spencer knew he was trapped. There was no escaping the hold you had on him, and he wouldn't have it any other way. His hands brushed through his hair, and he let out a sigh before answering.
"Meet me in the parking lot at 3, I'll be waiting outside my car." He said quietly as if he didn't want to hear the words he was saying. His stomach was fluttering, and he couldn't tell if they were from excitement or worry. Either way, his decision had been made, and once he saw the smile that beamed across your face, he knew he'd made the right choice.
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mikithelibrarian · 3 years ago
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The Start of Something Special - Solar - GN! Reader
Fluff
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When a nice movie night lightly shifts into the start of something more
Today was movie night with MAMAMOO, you’ve known them for some months know after visiting your favorite restaurant late at night after a long day of working which resulted in a group of 4 drunken calling you over to their table after seeing you were the only other customer apart from them. Of course, you recognized them and while you wanted to reject their proposition since they were drunk and all, there came Kim Yongsun and practically dragged you to their table. That night, unknowingly to you and the group, a beautiful friendship was born
 but you didn’t exactly want a friendship with the leader.
The last months you’ve grown close to them, but especially close to Yong-sun, and you couldn’t just ignore the constant beating of your heart every time you even thought of her. Maybe that closeness with her is what brought you here in the first place

Movie night usually included snacks, drinks, sometimes alcohol but over everything else they included a lot of laughs and smiles being shared between the members and yourself, but that was lacking right now. Wheein, Hyejin and Byulyi had stood Yongsun and you up which resulted in both of you having to make your very own movie night alone in the leader’s apartment.
Thing is, it wasn’t uncomfortable as you would think, it was
 unique. It didn’t feel at all as the usual movie nights but it didn’t exactly feel bad. Yongsun and you really had good chemistry, at least that’s what you wanted to think, but when both of you were on her couch watching a romantic movie in a comfortable silence you were sure that you both had something. That’s what gave you the bravado. The idea that there might be something between you just like movie shown.
With small glances you started to look for her hand and finally found it resting on top of her lap. Your heart beating at thousand miles per hour, insecurities filling your head, all of your body just wanted to shut down just because of the nerves but with the simple idea of a ‘maybe’ you felt your soul fill with courage.
Centimeters suddenly became kilometers once you started to get your hand close to hers and then you did it. With as much gentleness as you could, as if she was made of the most fragile marble, you put your hand on top of hers.
That act broke her concentration from the movie and made her look towards your hand. For a second you feared that she was going to freak out but it was all the contrary, she looked at you and a small nervous smile suddenly drew itself on her lips.
You wished you could replay that moment for the rest of your life. How her eyes looked at you with adoration, the perfection of her face, the sudden realization of how she trusted you by showing you her almost bare face and her comfy house clothes.
You smiled back and maintained the eye contact for some seconds before she broke it and got closer to you. She intertwined her fingers with yours and laid her head on your shoulder, her attention drifting back to the movie while yours couldn’t.
“What did just happen?” You thought.
Butterflies weren’t flying in your stomach; they were raging in the most violent tornado while your heart replicated the thunder of the storm going on inside of your body. You prayed to God that she wasn’t hearing your heartbeats, which she was, but that only made her smile even more.
Unknowingly to you, something very special started on that very night.
If I could describe that night,
It was as if the angels were on sight,
Too much to process what I sensed,
But leaving a mark in the form of how I felt
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youngbeezer · 3 years ago
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hi!! can I please request something?
going to a lake house, maybe friends to lovers with bowen byram?
thank you! 💗.
A/N: HI IM SO SORRY THIS LITERALLY TOOK 4 EVER!!! i was having such bad writer's block with also zero motivation, but i eventually put a little something together and i hope whoever requested this first off actually sees this bc seriously its been a good month of this sitting in my inbox but also i hope you like it :)
Word Count: 2940
Warning(s): kinda angsty in beginning, curse words, ends fluffy !!!
masterlist || join my taglist
These next few days is either going to turn out to be the best week of the summer, or the most awkward week of the summer...
I’m currently stuck in a car surrounded by couples on our way to a lake house in Colorado. Somehow I ended up being lumped into this chaotic group of professional hockey players and their drop-dead gorgeous significant others.
About a year ago at my local salon, I just so happened to be seated right next to a woman named Grace, who I immediately hit it off with. We became fast friends and are now basically inseparable at this point. Her boyfriend just so happens to play hockey for the Colorado Avalanche, Cale Makar. Now I have also grown quite close with Cale as well, since I am always at their shared apartment for Grace. At this point Cale is basically third wheeling us, instead of it being the other way around. Therefore I was also always invited to team parties and get-togethers, which prompted more friendships with most of the guys on the team and their respective partners.
Someone I have surprisingly grown super close with is Bowen Byram. As soon as Cale introduced us two, his blue eyes and raspy voice immediately drew me in. Straight away we bonded over common interests and that night we talked for almost three hours. After that, we were thick as thieves. So thick that recently I have come to the realization that I have caught major feelings for him along the way.
It has only been a few weeks since I have come to this realization and it has already started to affect our relationship. I definitely started to ignore Bowen a little bit when I first figured out my feelings because I was scared he would somehow find out or I would just end up blurting it out at some point. And the last thing I want is for my silly feelings to ruin such a great friendship.
Thus why this week can either turn out to be the best or the worst.
I’ve decided that at some point during this trip I need to confess my feelings for Bowen. He’s also seemed to notice the shift in my attitude towards him. I have become more closed off and not as touchy as we used to be. Bowen and I are both very touchy/feely types of people. So what seemed like just some harmless cuddling and play wrestling with each other, to me did very little to quell down my feelings.
For example, this morning when we were packing up the cars for the trip a group of us are taking to Tyson Jost’s lakehouse, Bowen went to wrap his arms around my middle from the back and I subconsciously flinched away at his touch. I know he definitely noticed my mood shift from the defiant pout that was resting on his face. After that I did what I do best, and ran away to the other car that was driving up and basically begged Nate to switch seats with me.
Which now leads to my current thoughts. The entire car ride up I have been contemplating on ways I could tell him, but each scenario just ended up with him telling me that he doesn’t feel the same, and our friendship essentially being over. Obviously I was just overthinking just a little, but I’ve never been stuck in a situation like this before-- and now we are going to be stuck in a lake house together for an entire week, so I am going to be forced to face this situation whether I want to or not.
“Yo. Earth to y/n?” Tyson draws, trying to gain my attention. I snap out of my thoughts as soon as I hear my name, and bring my gaze to the rearview mirror to meet Tyson’s questioning look. “We’re here.” He announces.
Susanna, Mikko’s girlfriend, adds on, “You alright? You seemed kind of out of it the entire car ride.”
I shake my head to try and clear my thoughts and notice that we are indeed here at the lake house we will be staying at for the next week. I clear my dried up throat before croaking out a weak, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just don’t like long car rides.”
Both of them nod, content with my answer and exit the car to join Mikko in unloading all of the luggage from the trunk. I take a few more moments to fully get my head together after dealing with all my jumbled thoughts throughout the entire three hour car ride.
Jumping out of the car, the first thing I see is Bowen letting out a yawn and stretching out. As his arms raise over his head, some of his shirt rises up with it and immediately my eyes are drawn to the small portion of skin and v-line that is in front of me. Bowen then notices my presence and makes eye contact with me, giving me one of his adorable little smiles. I advert my gaze as quickly as I can so my obvious ogling isn’t as obvious and go to finally retrieve my luggage.
Yeah this was gonna be a long week.


After everyone got pretty much all settled into their rooms, we all ended up coming back together to sit around the firepit to chat and enjoy some drinks. For this trip that Tyson orchestrated there are in total ten people staying in the house. Me, Tyson, obviously since it’s his house; Bowen, Cale, Grace, Alex Newhook, Mikko and his girlfriend Susanna, and lastly Nate and his supposed new girl who will be joining us later on in the week.
Apparently a group of the guys and their partners have been taking trips together at the end of the hockey season for a while now, and since growing closer with the team this year, I graciously got an invite.
Since it was getting later and a little bit more chilly, I grabbed a random sweatshirt that I saw already laying around in the living room before making my way outside to join everyone by the firepit. Getting closer I noticed that the only seat available just so happened to be next to Bowen.
Cale and Grace give each other a not so inconspicuous knowing look when they see me approaching. As soon as I sit down, a question is being thrown at me.
“Whose sweatshirt is that y/n?” Cale brings everyone's attention to me with a growing smirk on his face.
“I don’t know, I just found it in the living room.” I give Cale a questioning glare, trying to figure what his endgame is right now.
“It’s mine.” I hear that same raspy voice that I love and know so well. I feel my face start heating up at the idea of wearing Bowen’s sweatshirt. Am I wearing his name on my back right now, and I just didn’t even think to check earlier?
“Oh, uh. Sorry, I can give it back to you, if you want it.” I stumble out, now feeling awkward and a little embarrassed about how flustered I am getting over a simple sweatshirt.
Bowen gives me a little smile before replying back, “Nah, it’s fine. It looks better on you anyway.”
I clear my throat and stumble out an awkward ‘thanks’ at Bowen and then turn my attention to Grace right next to me so I don’t embarrass myself even more. What I don’t see though is the way Bowen's face immediately falls when I turn my back on him.


Around midnight is when everyone started to make their way back inside the house to start getting ready for bed. I was mindlessly scrolling through my social media, so I didn’t notice that mostly everyone had already gone inside.
“Y/n.” I look up at the mention of my name to notice that Bowen and I are the only ones left outside.
Also noticing the intense gaze I am receiving from Bowen, I quickly gather my things and stumble out, “Oh my gosh I didn’t notice everyone left already. I should head inside as well.”
Bowen is quicker though because he grabs ahold of my wrist, halting me in place before I make my very obvious escape.
“Hold on, please. Can you please talk to me?” Bowen pleads out.
“What do you mean? We’ve been talking all night.” I countered, trying one last time to get out of this conversation.
“We’ve been talking as a group all night yeah, but you couldn’t even make eye contact with me. You know what I mean. What’s been going on? Did I do something?” Bowen frowned.
At that moment I felt so guilty. I’ve been so focused on trying to ignore my feelings that I have developed that I ended up pushing my best friend away and hurting him in the process. I close my eyes and let out a deep breath. I knew I would eventually have to have this talk with Bowen during this week, but I just didn’t expect it to be on the very first night.
“Okay. Yeah, let’s talk.”
I lead the way down to the dock overlooking the lake and sit down to dangle my feet into the water. I know for a fact that Grace and Cale realized that we both haven’t come in behind them, so they are most likely snooping by the backdoor wondering what we are doing.
Bowen joins me, after slipping his shoes off and dangling his feet in as well.
“What’s been going on y/n?” Bowen asks again.
“I-I think I’m in love with you.” I blurt out. I can feel my heartbeat pounding in my ears as I await any type of response from Bowen. Taking a peek over at him, I see the pure shock on his face. Probably wasn’t the best idea to start off the conversation with that.
Taking his silence as a bad sign, I start spewing out whatever I can to try and calm the anxiety coursing through my veins. “I-I think I have known for a while and I just tried to ignore it, I guess. But then I realized that I was just pushing you away, an-and I never wanted to do that. Our friendship means that absolute world to me, and I would hate myself if anything I did, or-or my stupid feelings jeaporized that.” At some point during my little rant, a few tears escaped. I turn my head away as I try to hold back on a full on sob breaking loose.
“You think?” He eventually breaks the silence.
Confusedly, I turned my head back around and let out a strangled, “Huh?” I see the corners of Bowen’s mouth start curving up into a tiny smile, confusing me even more.
“You said, you think you’re in love with me.” He pointed out.
My eyebrows raise in question and I give him a little shrug, prompting him to elaborate more.
“Well
 I’m pretty damn sure I’m in love with you.” Bowen softly declared.
My breath catches in my throat and my mouth turns as dry as the Sahara Desert. Those were definitely not the words I was expecting to come out of his mouth. He chuckles at my surprised face and scooches a little closer to my body to wipe a stray tear on my cheek.
“Are you serious?” I whisper out.
“Of course.” He whispered just as softly back to me as his head inched closer to mine.
My heart pounds in my chest as Bowen’s hand comes up to cradle my cheek. All of our pent up feelings and emotions that we both have been too afraid to admit all come crashing together as our lips finally meet. He kissed me gently, almost carefully, but after all this time gentleness was not what I wanted right now. Bowen let out a low groan as I pulled him flush against my body, my fists bunching up the collar of his shirt.
Before this could go any further, we both pull away breathlessly, basking in what truly just happened-- just now realizing how much our relationship is about to change.
“Fuck.” Bowen breathed out, running his hands over his face. “If I knew that was what it was like to kiss you I would’ve blurted out my feelings the day I met you.”
My ears perk up at his last few words and it seems like he also realizes what he just admitted, as his cheeks immediately turn a rosy color.
“You’ve liked me for that long?” I bashfully question.
Bowen runs his fingers through his hair and blows out a breath of air before answering, “Yeah, I-I mean
 yeah I have.” He stumbles out, awkwardly letting out a laugh.
I lean my head on his shoulder and connect our hands, feeling super content and never wanting this moment to end. We take a moment to just sit on the dock-- with our feet hanging in the water, hands intertwined; and bask in the feeling of finally letting our feelings out into the open.
“You know everyone in that house is going to have a field day when they find out.” Bowen mumbles against my shoulder, before leaving a lingering kiss on the exposed skin.
“Oh I wouldn’t be surprised if they all had a bet going or something.” I chimed. I raise my head that had previously been resting on Bowen’s shoulder back up to look at him, and see that he is already smiling at me. “What?” I drawled, feeling my cheeks heating up under his gaze.
“You wanna sleep in my bed tonight?” He asked hesitantly.
My cheeks now feel on fire as I ponder on how I want to go about this. I raise my eyebrows up at him in question as I ponder out, “Do you want me in your bed tonight?”
Bowen gives me an almost incredulous look as he voiced, “Of course I want you in my bed.”
I just give him a simple nod and push my body up in a standing position, reaching out my hand to prompt Bowen to join me. “Okay, let’s go.”
Bowen immediately shoots up from his sitting position, clinging onto my hand as we make our way back up the yard to the sliding glass doors of the lake house. Just as I predicted earlier, Cale and Grace were totally snooping. Actually, the entire house was snooping. Everyone was gathered in the kitchen trying to act casual as we walked in, but as soon as they noticed our conjoined hands, all hell broke loose.
“I fucking knew it!”
“Aw you guys look so cute.”
“Bout time.”
“Ha! Nate, you owe me fifty bucks.”
I looked over at Bowen with an unimpressed look, “Told you they probably had a bet going on.” Meanwhile Bowen has an incredulous look coating his face watching his friends freak out over his newfound relationship. Instead of questioning our oddball friends, Bowen just simply shakes his head, letting out a little chuckle.
“Alright I’m heading up, I can’t deal with these idiots right now.” Bowen gives me a quick peck on the lips before announcing his departure for the night. Most of the others also start making their way up to their respective rooms for bed, the guys putting on a show of making kissy noises and making a few chirps as they follow Bowen up the stairs.
Grace joins me by the counter, making a show of wiggling her eyebrows at me. I’m smiling like an idiot as Cale also joins us, chuckling at my lovesick expression.
“You’re welcome.” Cale smirked.
I scrunch my face up in confusion as I question him back, “For what?”
“For introducing you two, duh.” Cale teased. Grace smacks him on the arm with a tut, making a show of rolling her eyes at her boyfriend. “Alright, seriously I am happy for you guys though.” He eventually relents.
My cheeks heat up from the attention but also from the thought of Bowen and I’s new relationship. Grace grabs me by the shoulders and starts pushing me in the direction of the staircase.
“Obviously I’m happy for you too. All I’ve wanted is the best for you and I think Bowen is just that. And with that being said, go get your mans!” She sends me off with a quick smack on my ass. I giggle the whole way up the stairs on the way into Bowen’s [now our] room feeling extremely giddy and content.
When I enter the room, all the lights except for the bathroom are already off, and it looks like Bowen is already settled into bed. So, I quickly do my night time routine and change into my pajamas before making my way over to the bed I will now be sharing for the week.
Bowen is awaiting me with his arms wide open, which I happily cuddle into the second I am under the covers. He buries his head into my neck, leaving featherlight kisses here and there.
“I love you.” Bowen mumbles into my neck. I card my fingers through his hair and kiss the top of his head as I mumble back those same words, in complete awe over how fast my life has changed in one night. We both knew that we would eventually be together, it just took a little time and a trip to Tyson Jost’s lakehouse for us to figure it out. This week will definitely be one for the books.
Taglist: @barzysandmarnersbitch @handwrittenheroes @hockeyplayerstories @barzy-xoxo @gnemgn @joelsfarabees
Tagging some mutuals as well so this doesnt flop,,,
@2manytabsopen @bb-nhlqueen7 @frederikanderson @simon-edvinsson @coltonndach @carepriceisgoodathockey @lovereadinghockeyy @pettypeteys @kentjohnsons @joekellys @mattybenierss
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jekde04 · 4 years ago
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Hide and Seek
For Gruvia Week 2021: Day 3 - Discovery
Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 4
Pairing: Gruvia (Gray Fullbuster & Juvia Lockser) Fandom: Fairy Tail Genre: Romance/Humor Word Count: 4,424 words Summary: It was safe to say that this wasn't the way Gray envisioned revealing their relationship to anyone. You may also read it on FanFiction.net and AO3! Check out my master list for other Gruvia fics.
The smell of curry wafted through his bedroom before he heard her call his name.
"Gray-sama! Lunch is ready!"
Really, he would have been happy with a couple of caramade franks delivered to his doorstep. But Juvia would hear none of it, saying he ought to eat healthier homecooked meals whenever he could—an indirect way of telling him that she would cook for him every chance she got. And even though Gray protested that Juvia was unnecessarily tiring herself out, she was the type of person who would go through all the trouble to make him happy. Even if that meant cooking a full meal of his favorite food the day after she just got back from a week-long mission.
Clad only in his boxers, Gray got up from his bed and made his way to his apartment's dining area. It wasn't much, just a square wooden table large enough to seat two people (or four, if you cramp them in). He watched as Juvia—wearing only his shirt that looked too large on her delicate frame—prepared the table, making sure to put extra curry sauce over his rice like she knew he loved.
Juvia moved her chair to the corner of the table so that she was sitting next to him, their arms and knees touching.
"Tsk! Why are you sitting so far from me?" Gray grumbled, pretending to be annoyed.
Juvia glanced at him, confusion evident on her face. "What is Gray-sama talking about? Juvia is almost on your lap." Even so, she moved closer to him so that they were almost squished together.
"But you're not."
With a mischievous smile playing on his lips, Gray picked Juvia up like a plushie and sat her on his lap. She shrieked and instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Now that's better," he grinned, one arm around her waist and another across her lap, his fingers palming her exposed guild mark.
"Gray-sama!" Juvia scolded him, a healthy shade of pink blooming on her pale cheeks. "Juvia and Gray-sama should be eating. We already skipped breakfast!"
"So?" He ignored her weak protests as he tightened his hold on her waist and buried his head at the crook of her neck, leaving a wet kiss just below her ear. He could feel her fingers gripping the hair on his nape as he trailed kisses down her neck.
"Gray-sama..."
It was supposed to be a plea to let her go, but it came out huskier than Juvia intended, causing a tightness in Gray's boxers. With all the energy she could muster, Juvia pushed him away and cradled his head between her hands so that she could look him in the eyes.
"Gray-sama needs to eat so he can have more energy—" she kissed him on the lips—"to satisfy Juvia." She sported a sweet, innocent smile, but there was an unmistakably playful glint in her eyes.
Gray smirked. "Am I not satisfying you, huh?" He kissed her hard before she could even answer, and Juvia tried her best not to melt into a puddle right then and there.
"You are," Juvia said between kisses. "But Gray-sama and Juvia need to eat. Our last meal was last night."
"But I only want to eat you," Gray whispered as he nibbled at her ear, his hand sliding dangerously between her legs. Juvia tried to protest, but her voice came out so weak as Gray trailed kisses on her cheek and covered her mouth with his.
A couple of knocks made both of them jump.
"Are you expecting someone, Gray-sama?" Juvia asked, finally getting a chance to pull away, but not enough to completely escape.
"No," Gray mumbled. He couldn't care less as he continued planting wet kisses on Juvia's cheeks, down to her jaws and neck. If he ignored whoever was at the door, that person would surely go away.
A louder set of knocks pounded on his door.
Collecting as much willpower as she could possibly get (given that Gray was practically lapping her up like a cold popsicle on a blazing hot day), Juvia hopped off Gray's lap and straightened herself.
"Gray-sama should answer that."
"C'mon, Juvs," Gray whined, hating how she was suddenly out of his reach. He tried grabbing her wrist, but she quickly pulled her hands to her chest and pointed towards the door. He felt the urge to punch whoever was on the other side.
That bastard won't even know what's coming.
Sighing, Gray started to make his way towards the door when a barrage of knocks once again threatened to take his door off the hinges. It was followed by a voice that sent a chill down his spine.
"Open up, Fullbuster!"
It only took a second for Juvia to recognize the familiar voice and cover her mouth with her hands.
"Erza-san? What's she doing here?"
"How would I know? I told her I was sick!" Gray said, careful not to raise his voice. Not only did he lie to Erza and his whole team so that he could skip their mission—he did it so he could spend time with Juvia, his secret girlfriend for about a month now. After all, she just got back from a mission herself, and they had barely spent three full days with each other since they got together as they were whisked away to mission after mission—he with Team Natsu and she with Gajeel and Lily.
For goodness' sake, they deserved their 'alone time' together. And by that, he meant getting away from the prying eyes of his guildmates.
It wasn't like anyone would be disappointed to learn that he and Juvia were going out. In fact, he was quite sure he would have to endure merciless teasing from pretty much everyone in the guild for at least a couple of weeks when they found out about them.
It was just that with Juvia right here—in his home, wearing only his shirt and her skimpy lacy panties that barely covered her bum—it was safe to say that this wasn't the way he envisioned revealing their relationship to anyone.
"Gray! We brought food." It was Lucy this time.
He took a deep breath. Okay, you just have to show them you're fine and they'll leave you alone. Turning to Juvia, he said, "Hide. In my room. Now."
Juvia nodded and noiselessly scurried off to Gray's room. Though hiding their relationship for the meantime was more of Gray's idea than hers, she definitely didn't want to reveal it by getting caught half-naked in his apartment.
Another series of pounding brought Gray's attention back to his front door. "Gray, I swear if you don't open this right now, I will—"
Gray opened the door and came face to face with a worried Lucy and a frowning Erza, both carrying huge brown paper bags brimming with snacks and fruits.
"Thanks for visiting, but I'm fine. You can go," Gray said in a flat tone. Well, if he wanted to continue his make-out session with his girlfriend, he better get down to business right away and cut his friends' visit as short as possible.
"Hello to you, too," Erza answered the cranky ice mage. Without being invited in, she sidestepped Gray and walked straight to the kitchen, setting down the paper bag she was carrying. Lucy followed, muttering, "Geez, thanks for the warm welcome," and started taking out the food they brought with them.
"Seriously, what are you two doing here?" he asked as he followed them into the kitchen.
"We're being good friends, dummy," Lucy answered him. "You're sick, so we thought we'd make sure you're okay."
"Well, I'm okay. You didn't have to go out of your way for this."
"And just let you starve to death?" Erza asked. Everyone knew Gray couldn't cook an egg to save his life. She found a box of medicines in the grocery bag and tossed it to Gray.
"That doesn't seem to be the case, though," Lucy quipped, her hand holding a barely eaten bowl of curry. "Someone must have already stopped over to cook for Gray."
Gray gulped and tried his best to keep a straight face.
"You know, this tastes like the curry Juvia cooks for us in Fairy Hills," Erza remarked after tasting the dish, a crease forming on her brows.
Oh no, Gray thought. How did Juvia's name come up all of a sudden? And how the hell would he steer the conversation around? His mind drew up a blank, fixated on the fact that Juvia was just a few feet away from being found and he couldn't do a single thing about it.
"Did Juvia drop by this morning to bring you food, Gray?" Lucy asked in a teasing tone, a naughty glint in her eyes.
"Y-yes! Yes, that's what she did!" Gray answered, a little too eagerly. "And then she left right away. For a mission. For three days. Yeah, that's it. She won't be back for three days." Mentally, he thanked Lucy for giving him that perfectly plausible scenario.
"Really? I'm surprised she didn't insist on taking care of you," Erza said. Gray smirked as he remembered all the ways Juvia took care of him since last night.
"Yeah, that's so unlike Juvia, isn't it?" Lucy said, her hand cradling her chin like she was deep in thought. Her eyes shot up to Gray, making beads of sweat form on his forehead. "Are you sure you're not hiding her in your apartment?"
"W-what?!" A furious blush adorned Gray's cheeks. "Why would you think that?!"
He must have looked so exasperated as both girls broke into a fit of laughs.
"I'm just kidding, Gray. You're so fun to tease," Lucy said, while Erza placed her hand on his forehead and said, "I think your fever shot up again."
"Sh-shut up," Gray said, swatting Erza's hand and reverting to his usual poker face. He took a seat and grabbed one of the plates, taking a mouthful of rice in his mouth. Now that Juvia wasn't within arm's reach, he was starting to feel hungry. After all, it had been more than 12 hours since he last ate.
And Juvia, too.
"Look, I'm grateful for all your help, but I'd really like to be alone and rest," he said, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "I can totally handle myself."
"Aww, don't be like that! We were just teasing you," Lucy said as she sat next to him. She took the other plate of curry and started eating. "This is really good! I haven't tasted Juvia's curry before."
Noticing that Lucy was eating Juvia's share, Gray blurted, "Don't eat that!"
Lucy just rolled her eyes. "Chill lover boy, there's more than enough here for everyone."
"Can't believe you're not just overprotective of Juvia. You're also super protective of her food," Erza taunted as she got her own plate and started putting food on it.
Gray sighed. What should I do to make these two leave?
"Yeah, you're all protective but you're not doing anything about it. Juvia is a patient girl, but you never know when she'd get tired of waiting for you."
"Might be soon." Gray glowered at Erza, but she ignored him and added, "Mira saw her giggling and blushing at her lacrima several times while we were on a mission."
"Come to think of it, you're sick, yet she left on a three-day mission?" Lucy surmised and Erza nodded. "Perhaps she already found someone who would actually appreciate her."
Gray balled his fists under the table. Even though his friends had no idea that he was actually the one Juvia was talking to via lacrima during their mission, he couldn't help but feel a bit mad that they would think Juvia's affections would sway that easily.
"Juvia would never betray me," he snapped before he could even think.
"Betray you?" Lucy raised her eyebrows.
"Why would you call it betrayal? Is she your girlfriend?" Erza narrowed her eyes at him.
"Juvia's not my girlfriend! I don't care about her!" Gray blurted.
It was really more out of impulse than anything else, but he immediately regretted his words when he heard a loud crash from his bedroom.
"What was that?" Erza asked, a sword suddenly materializing in her hand. Lucy grabbed her keys, and both girls stood up and went to the direction of Gray's bedroom.
Oh, fuck.
Gray jumped in front of the two girls with outstretched arms, blocking their way. "Calm down! I'll go check it."
"No, you stay here," Erza said in that no-nonsense tone that would have normally made Gray freeze on the spot, if Juvia's life (and their secret relationship) weren't on the line. He grabbed her arm.
"That's my bedroom, okay? I'll check and you'll both stay here."
It all happened so fast. One moment he was holding onto Erza's arm, and the next thing he knew, she had escaped from his grasp and was heading towards his bedroom just as Lucy turned the knob...
"Stop!"
"Gotcha!" Lucy yelled as she barged into Gray's bedroom, the requip mage right behind her. Erza's eyes darted from the bed to the closet to the tightly shut windows, like a predator looking for its prey. Lucy pulled back his messy sheets and opened his cabinet with a vigor that he seldom saw in the woman. Why does she look so excited?
There was no trace of any living creature anywhere.
A wave of relief washed over Gray when the two women stopped rummaging around his room. Still, he couldn't shake off his worry as he thought of his girlfriend. Did she just manage to hide so well? Or was she attacked? Just the thought of someone laying a hand on Juvia made his stomach turn to knots.
"How could this fall for no reason?" Lucy wondered aloud as she picked up the intact plastic lamp on the floor right beside the bed. She also sneaked a peek under the bed, making Gray's heart thump loudly. But the frown on her face as she got up made it clear that she didn't find anyone there, either.
Sighing loudly, Gray said, "Alright, show's over. No one's here, so get out of my room and let me fix some stuff here." Erza and Lucy exchanged quick glances but didn't resist when Gray pushed them out of his room and slammed the door.
Alone at last, his eyes swept across his disheveled room. "Juvia, where are you?"
"In here, Gray-sama."
A small puddle leaked from under his bed, materializing into Juvia's body. She's safe. He pulled her up towards him.
"Great thinking. I really thought they're gonna catch us. Are you hurt?" Gray asked as he inspected her body. She didn't seem hurt or anything.
"Juvia's okay. She was just caught off guard so she accidentally toppled your bedside lamp." She smiled, but one look at her despondent eyes showed that it wasn't as simple as that. Something was bothering her.
"Was it... because of what I said?"
Honestly, Gray didn't mean anything by it. Saying that Juvia wasn't his girlfriend and that he didn't care for her that way had always been his default defense whenever he was being teased about her. And now it became a habit that wasn't easy to shake off.
When she didn't answer, he sighed. "Come on, you know what I said wasn't true. I just said those things to get them off my back." He captured her hands in his. "I'm sorry."
Smiling at him, she replied, "Juvia understands. Gray-sama should go outside, or Erza-san and Lucy-san would get suspicious."
She still had that forlorn look on her face, which reminded him of how much convincing he had to do when he first bared his feelings for her.
"Juvia's sorry for doubting you, Gray-sama. It's just that he has denied Juvia's love for so long that she finds this all hard to believe. What if she wakes up one day and realizes this isn't real?"
That was when he realized that even though Juvia took his rejections in stride, his words still cut her. He then promised himself to treat her better, not just in actions but also in words.
Even if she was the only one who heard it. She was the only one that mattered, anyway.
Gray moved his hands to her cheeks, cradling her face as they locked eyes. "Hey, you know me, right? You know how I really feel about you?"
Juvia nodded, but he knew the doubts still lingered.
"I love you, Juvia."
And even though he had lost count of how many times he already told her that, her eyes still shone with the same sparkle they had back when she heard those words for the first time.
"Juvia loves you too, Gray-sama."
He gave her a gentle kiss, which would have been perfect and magical were it not for a low grumble coming from Juvia's stomach. She giggled. "Sorry. Juvia's starving."
Gray opened his drawer and handed her a couple of candies. "It's the only edible thing I have here now, but I promise I'll make them leave right away so we can eat together, alright? Just stay quiet." He stole another quick kiss from his girl before he left, careful not to open the door too much.
He found Erza and Lucy huddled together on his couch, keeping their voices low as they talked. When the celestial mage noticed him approaching, she cleared her throat and said, "Hey Gray, are you feeling better already?" She walked towards him and caught his face between her hands, turning his head whichever way and inspecting his body as if looking for some wound or scratch or something.
That was weird alright, but he decided to shrug it off and just focus on the task at hand: kick his annoying friends out of his house.
"I'm good. Get off me," he answered, swatting her hands away. Moving right between the two girls, he draped his arms over their shoulders. "You know, I really appreciate your concern over me, but I can handle myself." He started pushing them towards the door. "I really, really, really want to rest a bit more though—" just a few more steps and he could already reach his front door—"so please leave."
Just when he was about to open the door, the redhead spun around and glared at him. "Hold it. Why are you so anxious to kick us out of your house?"
He froze. "W-well, I told you I'm okay already..."
"Are you sure?" Lucy said, facing him as well. She placed her hand on his forehead and pulled back immediately. "You're burning up!"
"No, I'm not."
He couldn't understand why they kept walking closer and closer to him with an excited look in their eyes. Taking huge steps back until he was almost right outside his bedroom door, he felt like a small kitty getting cornered by two hyenas.
Two crazy, vicious hyenas.
"Perhaps we could give you a sponge bath?" Lucy purred.
"Oh yes, just like when we were kids. I'm sure it'll make you feel all better," Erza added.
"What the hell is wrong with you two?!"
Before Gray could make a run for it, his bedroom door slammed open and a furious Juvia swooshed past him, pinning the two women to the opposite wall.
"LOVE RIVALS!"
But instead of getting scared by the dark aura coming from the water mage, Lucy clapped her hands and let out a delighted squeal. Erza, on the other hand, looked like she had saucers for eyes as she stared right back at the girl glaring daggers at them.
"I knew it!" Lucy yelled. She pointed to Juvia, then Gray. "You two..."
"So, the rumors are true..." Erza muttered to herself, still not believing what she was seeing.
Gray sighed. There was no use hiding things now. And he better do something before his girlfriend water slices two of his best friends.
"Alright, fine." He walked towards them and pried Juvia away from the two girls. "Juvia and I, we're together. Happy?"
That seemed to snap Juvia out of her jealous rage as her head whipped towards Gray. "Gray-sama?"
Lucy let out another squeal, cheeks pink with giddiness. "It's about time! But—" She punched Gray's bare arm.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"You didn't ask! It's not like I can just blurt it out in the middle of a conversation!"
"Of course you can!" Another punch. "How can you hide this huge thing from us? If Natsu hadn't told us, we wouldn't even know!"
"Natsu-san?" Juvia asked. "Did Gray-sama tell Natsu-san about us? Gray-sama told Juvia not to tell Gajeel-kun," she pouted.
"I didn't tell him, I swear! Why the hell would I tell that idiot about us?"
"Natsu overheard you talking to Juvia on your lacrima," Erza explained as she straightened her blouse and skirt. "Believe it or not, he was able to put two and two together and figure out that you two were dating."
She then narrowed her eyes at Gray. "And of course, it helped that he heard everything, Gray."
Juvia turned a bright tomato red, her hands flying to cover her mouth. Gray blushed, remembering the nights he spent during their last mission sneaking out of his and Natsu's tent, calling Juvia in secret just to ask her how she was doing. His flush deepened as he also remembered the not-so-innocent conversations he shared with Juvia when he thought everyone was asleep.
Damn that dragon slayer's hearing!
"There's just one thing I want to know," Erza said in her serious tone, which made both Gray and Juvia straighten. She cleared her throat. "Juvia... Gray didn't... forcefully take your flower, right?"
Gray, Juvia, and Lucy all turned as red as Erza's hair. Even Erza looked like she wanted to withdraw her very suggestive question as she couldn't stop the blood rushing to her face.
"Do you really have to ask, Erza?" Lucy whispered, her eyes fixed intently on the floor, finding it interesting all of a sudden. "I mean, just look at them..."
Gray gave out an indignant "Hey!" while Juvia literally had steam come out of her ears as she tried to cover her burning face with her hands. Thankfully, she had the presence of mind to wear Gray's boxers before storming out of his room, although Gray wasn't sure that the sight of them—him wearing only his boxers and Juvia wearing his clothes and not hers—could salvage their situation.
"W-well, o-of course I had to ask!" Erza reasoned amid her embarrassment. "I know I taught Gray how to respect women, but if he took advantage of Juvia in any way, I would—"
"Calm down, Erza-san," Juvia said, regaining her composure as she touched the requip mage's arm to try to diffuse the sinister aura starting to emanate from her. "Juvia swears that Gray-sama has been nothing but a gentleman to Juvia."
"Yeah, how could you even think I would take advantage of Juvia?" Gray asked, slightly offended. "We're both consenting adults and we know what we're doing!"
"And I am glad to know that." Erza firmly patted Gray's back, and he thought he was going to cough up blood from the impact.
"So..." Lucy teased, poking Juvia's cheek and smirking. "You two are doing it, huh? You owe us details on our next sleepover, Juvia!"
"Lucy-san!" an embarrassed Juvia exclaimed, once again burying her scarlet face in her hands. Lucy laughed, mumbling something about finally not being falsely accused of being a love rival anymore.
Now that everything was out in the open, Gray cleared his throat and hollered, "Okay, now that we're all good, can you leave us alone now?" He escorted the two girls towards the door once again, and this time, they complied without any protests, finally leaving the couple to their much-awaited alone time.
Gray slumped on his couch. "I'm sorry about all that, Juvia."
"It's not your fault, Gray-sama," Juvia said as she sat beside him and rested her head on his outstretched arms, Gray instinctively pulling her closer. "The whole guild would most likely know about Gray-sama and Juvia before this day ends."
"Yeah."
Juvia sneaked a peek at Gray. "Is Gray-sama okay with that?"
"Well, it's bound to come out sooner or later, right?" Gray answered nonchalantly.
"Juvia is sorry."
Gray looked at his girlfriend, surprised to see her looking a bit down, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "Why?"
He barely caught what she whispered. "Juvia knows Gray-sama doesn't want anyone to know."
And then, it hit him.
Taking her hand in his, he lifted her chin with his other hand so that she could look at him. "Did you seriously think I'd keep you a secret forever?"
When she didn't reply, he continued. "It's not that I didn't want anyone to know. I just didn't want to make a big deal out of it, announcing it and everything. I thought it would come out naturally, like people would just notice. And I certainly didn't want them to find out this way," he said as he gestured towards their half-naked forms.
Juvia giggled. "Gray-sama probably should not have called Juvia during his mission."
"As if you won't call me," he smirked.
"Juvia just didn't want Gray-sama to miss her too much," Juvia said as she nuzzled closer to him.
"Is that so? But I clearly remember a certain someone jumping into my arms the moment she saw me and telling me how much she missed me."
"And she definitely heard a certain someone say that he missed her, too," Juvia retorted, eyes gleaming at him. "He couldn't even get his hands off Juvia..."
"Hey—"
Juvia shut him up by pressing her lips on his for a long, loving kiss. When they finally went up for air, Gray whispered, "How about we continue where we left off earlier?"
"You mean our late lunch?" Juvia asked innocently.
"Not hungry." But just as Gray said that, his stomach grumbled.
"Oh, really?" Juvia cocked her eyebrows. "Come on, Juvia's hungry, too." With that, she dragged him towards the kitchen, leaving no room for complaints.
Gray let Juvia lead the way, watching her hair flowing down her back like soft ocean waves, all the way down to her long, flawless legs. He smiled.
"Alright. But I'm having you for dessert."
A/N: This came out WAY later than I expected. It was one of those stories that started out really good in my head, but the actual writing process turned out to be a pain in the neck. Now I'm just embarrassed to tag this as Gruvia Week 2021 because I'm more than a month late, lol. But I still would because I'm shameless like that, haha.
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satendou · 4 years ago
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⟌ some kind of disaster
⍣ all time low series | previous | next | 2/4
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⇱ pairing: tendo/reader
⇱ au: atl!au, college!au
⇱ summary:  tendo knows he is, he was just waiting for you to figure it out  
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⇄ masterlist
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⇱ warnings: angst, breakups, akaashi being a good friend, semi being (maybeb too much of) an asshole
⇱ word count: 3496
ăƒ»â€„â€Šâ”â”â”â”â”â”â”â˜†â˜†â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â€Šâ€„ăƒ»
⇱ a/n: 1) this is unedited. 2) i have a serious complex about this whole series now due to how well monster did, so i’m sorry if anyone is disappointed by this chapter.
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i’m a liar i’m a cynic i’m a sinner, i’m a saint i’m a loser i’m a critic i’m the ghost of my mistakes and it’s all my fault that i’m still the one you want what are you after, some kind of disaster
They say falling in love is easy, it’s falling out of love that’s hard. What they fail to mention is how hard it is to still be in love even when you know it isn’t what’s best for you.
And right then, Tendo wasn’t good for you.
It had been several months since that first night and, though you had known it wouldn’t be easy, you had never expected it to be like it was. He had more issues than you could have imagined and a staunch refusal to talk about them. You had your guesses about why which you tried to understand, but the way he handled any small argument or misunderstanding in your relationship was unbearable and unhealthy.
Even now, he wasn’t speaking to you and it was tearing you apart. You weren’t even aware of what you had done because he wouldn’t tell you and you couldn’t for the life of you recall having done anything specific.
“Are you gonna do it today?” Akaashi asked, his words soft, full of understanding. The classical literature class you shared with him was over, and he hovered beside your chair waiting for you to gather your thoughts and your items up. He knew most of what had been happening with Tendo and sympathized because he also knew how enamored you had become with him. It was understandable-- you had been dating for a while, but he had seen a slow decline in your mood over the last few months. After the honeymoon period was over, he would guess, and the little issues that always crop up in relationships started to manifest. 
He recalled the night two weeks ago when you had come to him asking for advice, and it all poured out over takeout and wine. Even Bokuto, who always saw the bright side of things, remained in silent shock at everything happening behind the scenes.
You said he was never violent or angry or irrational. He would just...ignore you for hours or days on end, sometimes for things you couldn’t even determine, then come back like nothing had happened. If you did have an argument, no matter how small, he would just walk away without even trying to come to an agreement, then refuse to speak to you like normal until he decided he was done with that.
Akaashi’s heart broke for you as you sobbed into first your hands and then Bokuto’s shoulder, though he couldn’t refrain from smiling at Bokuto’s sympathy tears. His partner really was too cute for words.
Then you had spoken the dreaded words he was sure had been sitting in your throat for a lot longer than it had taken you to come to him.
“I think I’m going to break up with him.”
The relief that drew across your face as you said that was evident that you weren’t thinking about it, that you just needed support to go through with it. Of course, he and Bokuto were more than willing to give you that.
“I think so,” you murmured, taking your time packing up your stuff. The text you had sent at the beginning of class went unanswered, but marked that it was read two minutes after you sent it.
We need to talk.
It was too obvious what that meant and you were dreading the confrontation to come. You weren’t worried about him getting aggressive. In fact, you were pretty sure you knew how this was going to go down. Like every other argument, he was going to pretend it wasn’t happening and walk away.
The door was too loud when it opened, the students out in the hall too happy when Akaashi opened it. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw Tendo standing across from the door staring out the window with a pensive expression. Then it clenched with all the emotions you were feeling, good and bad and your head spun with anxiety. He looked so sad, his usually vibrant red eyes dull and blank as he watched whatever was going on in the quad.
“I’ll wait for you, okay?” Akaashi asked. You nodded absently, eyes still locked on Tendo. For most people, he would be afraid they were going to renege on their resolve and give into the false promises of change. But the change he had witnessed in you over the last few months and the quiet sadness in your softly spoken words a couple of weeks back had given him a different feeling. You would go through with it, and it was going to shatter you.
Tendo still didn’t look at you when you called his name and, if you had been wavering at all, that shut it down. But he followed you anyway, until you found a secluded spot down an empty hallway. 
You took a deep, stuttery breath. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” he asked, and his voice was icy. He didn’t even seem to care about the tears starting to fall or the way you swiped them away. But it pierced his heart, knowing it was him that caused them, and he knew what was coming. He had known it would end this way the moment he fell for you. He had ended up hurting you just as he’d said he would, and yet he’d let it get this far anyway.
“I’m sorry for whatever it is I did this time. And I’m sorry, but-- I don’t think I can do this anymore,” you whispered, drawing him back to the present.
Silence followed those words. You still weren’t looking at him, so you missed the widening of those sleepy vermillion eyes you’d so come to love and the hands that caressed you so gently curling into fists at his sides.
He knew it, but couldn’t stop the surprise, even as the first crack appeared in his heart. “I-- What?”
It was so hard. Without meaning to, you had fallen in love with him, flaws and baggage and all. You should’ve known better. You had known it wouldn’t be easy to love him but it...it was so much harder than you had been expecting. Too much of your time was spent wondering what you had done to upset him this time and why he was ignoring you, because Tendo didn’t talk about his feelings with you. He left them on a back burner on high until they were so burnt they were unrecognizable, and when he was done being pouty he would seek you out and act like nothing was wrong.
There was no communication in your relationship-- if you could even call it that at this point. You couldn’t find a point to being together if every other day you had done something new to drive him away. It was taxing on you, your mental health plummeting because you were constantly worried about if something was wrong with you. It wasn’t until one of your other friends pointed out how different you were that you turned inward and discovered that particular truth.
You were struggling to keep it together by then, the pain in your heart and the tightness in your throat threatening to overwhelm you. You still hadn’t looked at Tendo. It was too hard-- you would never be able to get the words out if he was staring at you with hurt and confusion. 
Taking a steadying breath, you said, “I can’t fix you, Tendo. This-- This thing we have isn’t healthy, it’s-- we spend more time f-fighting than we do-- or you spend more time ignoring* me for things I-- I don’t even know why half the time and I’m constantly wondering what I’ve done--”
You stopped.
Your thoughts were racing in time with the throbbing pain in your chest and your voice had risen into a high-pitched, breathless mess and you couldn’t think. Breathing in deep, you closed your eyes, letting the tears fall as they may just to give you some relief from the pressure in your throat and once again you missed the look of fear on Tendo’s face.
He’d seen it coming. He had been expecting it for weeks, but didn’t know he would still be blindsided by it. It was his own fault, expecting you to chase after him and deal with his bullshit on your own. He knew it wasn’t fair, but every time he considered the alternative, he clammed up. Still, he wanted to reach out, to comfort you and tell you he would change, but he knew it wasn’t true.
His problems were deep rooted and it wasn’t his partner’s job to put him back together-- even he knew that.
So his nails continued to bite into his palms at his side as he let you spill every pent up emotion, just waiting for the final door to slam in his face.
“But it isn’t me,” you whispered, so quiet he almost missed it. At long last, you lifted your head up and met his eyes. Those beautiful red eyes that you often found yourself lost in were bright and clear and dead, not a trace of emotion anywhere in them. Like he didn't care, and that only made you cry harder. “I know it’s you and I can’t do it anymore. Everything you do makes me-- I’m not the problem, Tendo.” He flinched at the use of his surname and you ignored it. “I love you, you know that? I don’t know when or how, but I do know why. But I also know we aren’t healthy and this relationship is-- it isn’t a relationship. It just isn’t. I don’t know what it is but I--”
He swallowed as your shoulders fell. The words he wanted to say bubbled on his tongue and he bit them back. Hearing you say them now was a cruelty he knew he deserved after the way he’d been treating you, but he still wanted to lash out and break you like you had broken him. But as a last kindness for what you had given him, he only turned and walked away.
The silence that remained spoke volumes like the space that had developed between you, and you left as well, leaving everything behind.
Akaashi was waiting for you just around the corner from the hall, watching Tendo shove through the crowd and out of sight. His hand was warm against your cheek as he wiped away the lingering tears. For now, they had stopped, but he knew more would come.
It felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, in some regards. The weight of your feelings for him still remained, and you knew they would take some time to slide off as well. Akaashi was watching you with kind sympathy, his quiet company a relief as you looped your arm with his, letting him lead you out into the warm spring air. It seemed almost cruel that the weather was so nice when you were so miserable, and a few more tears spilled. 
Guilt accompanied every breath that you felt so light following your breakup, but you knew it was for the best. Nothing good would come of remaining with Tendo when he was so mixed up-- you couldn’t make him happy if he couldn’t make himself happy, and vice versa.
Bokuto’s voice rang loud over the sound of the rest of the crowd, waving his hand above his head at the pair of you. 
“Shall we go get something to eat? And it’s Friday, you can stay with us, if you’d like,” Akaashi said, his voice soothing and melodic to your ringing ears. Suddenly you were more than grateful to have him and Bokuto in your life-- even if the latter was a bit obnoxious.
Like now, he was literally tugging you and Akaashi along behind him, talking nonstop about food, not listening to a word Akaashi was saying. But when you looked over to your friend, he didn’t look aggravated. He looked content and amused, staring at his partner with a soft fondness that made you almost jealous as you thought about when Tendou would look at you that same way.
There was a sharp pang in your heart as you realized he probably wouldn’t look twice at you again. Because that’s just how Tendou was. He ignored his problems and waited until they just went away. And you needed more than that.
i crashed down from a high that felt so real i never knew how much it would hurt to feel you gotta hurt sometimes to learn to heal you gotta get back up and learn to deal, yeah and it’s all my fault that i’m still the one you want
“You’re a fool, you know that?” Semi said. Though it was posed as a question, Tendo knew perfectly well that Semi was telling him what he already knew. As soon as Tendo had shown up in front of him, Semi had snapped that and he could only nod in agreement. “I always knew you’d do this. _____ was perfect for you but you--”
“I know, alright,” Tendou snapped, curling his fists into hands. It was almost impossible for him to hold back the tears that had been threatening to fall since he’d first gotten your text an hour and a half ago. Like the coward he was, he had ignored it and met you outside your class instead, a part of him hoping it would just go away if you saw him. But the hopelessness in your eyes when you had looked at him told him he wouldn’t get his wish this time. “I know I’m a fucking idiot, and _____ was always too good for me.”
A flash of your face and the echo of your words replayed in his addled brain.
“I don’t know what I’ve done this time.”
You hadn’t done anything. You had never done anything. He was a coward when it came to arguments but when he was ignoring you it wasn’t because of you.
It was him, all his fears bubbling to the surface and an attempt to push you away, to make you realize you were worth more than whatever he had to offer.
“Whatever we have is unhealthy.”
“It isn’t even a relationship.”
He was unhealthy, he knew he was, and it had driven you away from him. He only had himself to blame.
Semi huffed, watching Tendo closely. He was doing that blank thing he did to mask his feelings when he couldn’t handle them, turning into himself instead of applying the burden to someone else. He was sure he was doing it to you in your relationship too, and you probably didn’t understand because Tendo wasn’t being open. It was a vicious cycle, one Semi had seen too often. “I’m glad you realize, you idiot.” Then, more softly, he said, “I’m sorry, for what it’s worth. I know you love her.”
Tendo flinched, his eyes closing.
*“I love you, you know that?”*
He would have said them back in a heartbeat, given the opportunity. He wanted so desperately to say them but the words had stuck in his throat, and the less selfish part of him knew it was for the best. The situation was already fucked up enough without him stirring it up more. Saying those words back would have hurt more than helped, especially because, deep down, he knew he wouldn’t change.
At least he could say he had done something right, in letting you go. 
You would flourish without him holding you back and weighing you down with all his problems and baggage.
“I know what you’re thinking.”
Semi’s voice cut through Tendo’s derogatory thoughts, and he flinched again. He hated that smug, all knowing tone even though he was usually spot on.
“Alright then, oh great oracle. What am I thinking?” he asked, shuffling along down the sidewalk towards their apartment. Trying to think of anything besides you, he tried to remember what was in their fridge to eat. Old pizza is all he could think of, from when you had come over and--
Nope.
Semi snorted at Tendo’s sad attempt at humor. Not that all of his attempts weren’t sad but his heart really wasn’t in it this time. “You’re telling yourself it was for the best and how you aren’t good enough and blah blah blah. You’re still an idiot.”
“Would you stop saying that?” Tendo asked, looking up to the sky. It was still early afternoon, the sky cloudless, the air pleasantly warm. If circumstances were different he would be spending it with you by his side-- then again, probably not. He hadn’t properly spoken to you or seen you in a few days and it wasn’t going to change today either. “My ears hurt.”
And his heart. He could feel a slow throbbing building up between his ears. A migraine was the final nail he deserved in his coffin and the sadistic part of him wanted to exacerbate it as much as he could. Just to give himself something else to focus on.
“Fine, fine. Just one more time. You’re a goddamn idiot,” Semi said, glaring at him. He knew he should feel worse for his friend than he was, but he also deserved it. There was only so much sympathy he could give when Tendo refused to help himself. He had never been happier than when he started dating you and Semi couldn’t go ten minutes without hearing your name. Now Tendo was slumped over as they walked, feet shuffling against the sidewalk as he stared blankly ahead, and Semi sighed. “Can I give you some advice? You know, friend to idiot?”
Tendo groaned, rolling his eyes, but nodded nonetheless. Semi meant well-- mostly-- and usually gave good advice. Now, if only he would stop trying to make Tendo feel worse. “Sure, I guess. We both know I won’t listen though.”
Semi nodded, snickering behind his hand. The signal for the crosswalk changed, throngs of people instantly flooding the street. They flowed through and around each other, becoming separated for a few moments, until they met on the sidewalk on the other side.
“When you two are together, were together, I’ve never seen you happier. And Akaashi says that _____ is-- was-- too. Do you not trust her?” Semi asked, and watched the way Tendo froze up and paled, inhaling sharply. But he didn’t immediately say no, and that was telling. “If you don’t trust her, you’ll never maintain a relationship, with her or anyone else. Do you really want that, ‘Tori?”
He hadn’t considered that. Not trusting you wasn’t the exact issue. He felt he could tell you anything-- so long as anything didn’t entail things that might annoy you or make him a burden on you. His biggest fear was putting too much of himself into you only to overwhelm you, driving you away. That had backfired pretty spectacularly though, if he had to say so, and now he was left to wonder what would have happened if he had gone that route.
“No, I guess not,” he answered. To anyone else it would have sounded callous and uncaring, but Semi had known him a lot longer and recognized the sound of a Tendo who was in serious thought.
“Then you need to change. I get that you’re afraid, but those bullies from elementary and highschool shouldn’t keep holding you back. And who knows, maybe it isn’t too late with _____,” Semi said with a shrug, and smirked at the way Tendo perked up at that. He deflated just as rapidly a split second later, but it was to be expected. 
The smirk fell as Semi considered. The way things stood, you were better off because Tendo was unhealthy, and probably not in a good place to be in a relationship. He didn’t fault you for breaking it off-- not when he would have done the same. Still, he’d like to see him happy again, especially with you. But he couldn’t guess if Tendo would take it to heart and try, or whether or not you would wait around for him to decide and figure himself out.
Shrugging, he glanced at the barbecue place they were passing by and reached out, tugging Tendo to a stop. When he nodded towards it, Tendou sighed.
“Sure, I’m down. Shouldn’t be sad on an empty stomach.”
Semi groaned. “You are such an idiot.”
i’m a liar i’m a cynic i’m a sinner, i’m a saint i’m a loser i’m a critic i’m the ghost of my mistakes and it’s all my fault that i’m still the one you want what are you after, some kind of disaster
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⇄ masterlist 
⇄ taglist: @sluttony​, @visaintes​, @yunhosblackgf​, @super-noya​, @byebyes-world​, @newfriendjen​, @atsunakaashi​
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queenoftheworldisdead · 4 years ago
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Homecoming
Chapter 3
Summery: Slow burn. You are forced to move back to your home town due to the pandemic. When your high school tormentors return to remind you why you never wanted to come back. This gets darker as it goes. I’m not a good writer folks sorry.
Warning: assault, Kissing,  flash back warning: under age drink, mentions of sexual assault. tried to be very vague and not graphic.
Dark Steve x Black Reader, Dark Bucky x Black Reader Cop AU
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5
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The drive back home was mostly silent and you were thankful for it. The off duty officer blew through lights and stops signs with ease. Laughing at you whenever you gasped at the yellow light as he mashed the gas to beat the red. With Steve behind the wheel time seemed to drag, with Bucky you were more concerned with making it home in one piece. When you saw your uncle's house finally approach in the distance you started to breathe easier.
Bucky slowed to a crawl, parking in-front while you unbuckled and turn to face the door for a quick escape.
*Click
The locks on the door snapped down the instant you touched the handle.
"Hold up."
Your back stayed facing him as you waited for whatever was to come.
"I'm not going to touch you" his words did not calm you. "You know I haven't seen him this happy in a long time."
It felt like every hair stood up one by one along your arms. This tone was too calm, if you didn't know him maybe you would've thought nothing of it.
"Why did you run?"
You swallowed thickly as you try and think of ways as to not raise his ire.
"He was so crushed when you left"
Of course. He didn't care what they did to you or how you felt. As if he hadn't been there, been apart of it all. As if what he put you through was OK.
"Does it matter anymore?" You felt so drained and you wondered if he could see the defeat in your eyes when you turned to look at him.
And really did it matter? You already felt trapped. With no money there was no hope.
His eyes were wet, but nothing fell from them, it looked like he was holding back a hurt that laid just below the surface. When his hand lifted to cradle your face you stiffened, but didn't pull away. Bucky's callus hand gently felt along your cheek then settled on the back of your neck.
The scenery blurred when he brought your head crashing down on to the dashboard. Throbbing and ringing marinated with this new pain that radiated through your head.
"We had to pickup the pieces of his heart when you skipped town. You broke him Roast. Took him along time to deal with how you left." he growled as he ground your face into the dashboard.
"Bucky! Bucky! Please I'm sorry!" The taste of copper filled your mouth as you screamed. Your lip was busted open and the bridge of your nose felt bruised, you worried it was broken the way it hurt. Every effort to push of the dash was met with heavy resistance by Bucky.
"I'd hate to see him get hurt again Roast." He paused before raising you.
"I'm home... I.. I-I won't run again. Please" You trembled and shook in his grasp while tears streamed down your cheek.
Before you could focus he crashed into yours. The sting from the impact had you hissing on his mouth. With the opening his tongue invaded, swirling around the blood from your lip. Your hands froze in the air, stopping yourself from trying to push him away.
Bucky's other hand began roaming the front of your sweater. You felt your body grow hotter as he touched you. Squeezing and palming your breast through your clothes, if someone were to pass by they would've thought you two were nothing more than an over eager couple.
When he bit your lip you hissed at the pain as more blood trickled down your chin. He trailed bloody kisses down to your neck, his lips sending teasing jolts of electricity throughout your body. You felt his lips start to suck hard on the nape of your neck, the suction from which drew out a soft moan as he moved down further.
"Bucky please...He won't like this" your words stopping him from marking you with a love bite.
Steve loved Bucky like a brother, but he was not fond of his pal playing with his toys without him. Maybe it was due to the fact that Bucky had a tendency to play a little too rough from your experience. Pulling back you notice your blood smeared against his lips. Keeping his hold on you he assess the damage that he's done.
"Shit..." Tilting your head around as he examines you. "Put some ice on"
When he released you shook your head in reply. Unlocking the doors Bucky finally allowed you to leave.
When you walked up to the front door you thought of how to hide your very bruised face. Taking out your key you open the door and then rush to put your hand on your forehead. Looking down you greet your uncle then high tail it to your room.
You here him call out, but you ignore him. Once inside you crumbled against the closed wooden door.
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Past: Month before the incident
"Hey" Peggy calls out to you as she catches up in the hall.
"Hey stranger" you jab at your bestie. You were surprised to not see her hanging off Steve's arm.
"I know I've been super flaky lately."
"Might start calling you Kellogg...." You paused for comic relief. "Because of the cereal...like Kellogg Frosted Flakes.. they’re Great!"
"Bad joke" she deadpanned "...anyways. You, me, Steve, James movies tonight!" She was almost giddy at the idea.
"For one I don't even know James. I'm assuming its that guy that's always around Steve? And isn't he dating Wanda, that cheerleader?"
"They broke up like a while a go.... So he is single and super nice. Second it was Steve's idea, so how could he hate you if that was the case? Huh?"
"Why cant 'we' hang out together? Steve is so annoying. He is always fucking with me. I swear he hates me."
You didn't have a problem with Steve, but he seemed to have a problem with you. Anytime you made plans to hang with Peggy she came up with an excuse the last minute. At first you thought that he wanted you out of the picture so that he could have Peggy all to himself, so you bowed out. But it felt like the more space you gave the more annoying he got. So being around Steve willingly didn't seem appetizing.
🍿
You don't know how she convinced you to do this. No wait of course you do. You missed Peggy so much, but you half expected her to cancel and flake on you like she normally did.
When you two arrived the guys were waiting outside the building. As you both walk up the side walk to greet them Peggy formally introduces you.
His square jaw rivaled Steve's, when he smiled your heart fluttered a bit. You had to admit he was a handsome guy.
"Hi, I'm James, but everyone calls me Bucky. Nice to meet you." He introduced as you shyly smile back at him.
After the slightly awkward introductions everyone coupled up and headed into the theater. Finding seats the small group linking up boy, girl, boy, girl. You wanted to sit next to Peggy, but Steve pushed her down to the next seat over.
Through the upcoming trailers you noticed the odd kernel fly in your direction. That's when you knew Steve was up to his usual pranks. His massive arm taking up your arm rest, reaching in your eye-line to pass snacks between him and his buddy, ignoring you.
While Bucky was the perfect gentlemen, offering snacks, letting you take his arm rest. When you started to shiver from the cold he pulled you in, wrapping an arm around and stroking you. Even though you had a crush on someone else he was a welcome distraction.
🍿🍿
At the end of the movie Steve drove everyone home. You sat in the back with James while Peggy sat up front. James's arm outstretched on the back of the seat  as he chatted with you. If you didn't know any better, which you didn't, you would swear he was flirting with you.
You felt a weird sensation throughout the car ride. Looking up you saw Steve lock eyes with you on more than one occasion through the rear view. Shaking it off each time you try to focus on James, but he made it hard to concentrate. Dropping you home first you tell James to call you then wave bye to everyone as you walk up to your house.
🍿🍿🍿
The next day at school James sported a black eye and a bruised cheek. You tried to ask him what happened when you saw him in the hall, but he walked past ignoring you.
In class you asked Peggy if something happened when you left, but she too had no clue. Just explaining it away as some rough housing that must've happened after she got dropped home.
You noticed him a few more times throughout the day, but you stop completely when you saw him wrapped around Wanda. The beautiful cheerleader coddled his face examining the wounds. You weren't looking to start anything with James, but he made you want think otherwise. it was so odd that he would even go out with you if he was still with her and then completely ignore you. You also had the misfortune to see Steve watch you realize that fact. The smile on his face let you know this was all some sick prank he must've cooked up. Turning down the wrong hallway you rush away fuming and holding in tears of embarrassment.
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Present
Early the next day you sat in front of the Pawnshop until the 'Open' sign turned on . Thinking now that maybe you should've taken the bus here instead of your Uncle's truck. But then the other half of you didn't want to be spotted at the outside waiting a the bus stop. As the light came on you hurried out of the truck and over to the shop door. When you entered Moscow's Pawn the bell chimed alerting the redhead to your presence.
The shop was filled with pawned goods like bikes, lawn mowers and a glass case full of guns behind the register. You were the first one in the shop, but you weren't sure for how long.
Before you left home you went into the garage and stole your uncles old tool box. The weight of the box wasn't heavier than the guilt you held from your thievery.
"Hello, I'm Nat! Welcome how can I help you today?" She greeted you as you approached.
"Um.. what can I get for these?" you lift the box, plopping it down on the counter.
"Are these yours or stolen?"
"They're mine. I mean they are my Uncles. But he gave me permission." You stuttered a bit at the accusation.
She cocked a brow at you, but didn't press. Taking the box from you and examining the contents, lifting each up one by one. Letting out a big sigh before she spoke. When she started looking too hard at your face you looked down at the floor. The bruises Bucky left you with were covered a bit with concealer and your mask so you were confident enough to push through with your plan. "I can give you a hundred for it all." She said while closing the box.
"I'll take it" you could tell she was low-balling you, but you didn't care. Those tools were worth more than that, but you didn't have time to haggle. This would be more than enough for a bus ticket out. Your uncle would be pissed for sure, but you would pay him back when you got back on your feet.
"OK well I need your ID to process it."
You started to panic and you could tell she knew something was off.
"Look its policy. I know you said it's your uncle's, but just encase its not... my ass is covered if he files a police report for stolen goods." The word 'police' had you more nervous than before.
"OK, OK." You dug in your purse and got out your ID. The redhead took it from you and entered in your information. You worried for a bit, but you knew your uncle would be the last person to call the cops for missing tools.
When she handed it back she also passed you the money. You bid her adieu and headed toward the door.
When your hand hit the handle your heart stopped. Through the bard glass door you saw a patrol car pass the shop. Holding your breath you watched it as it disappeared down the street.
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Past: Week before the incident
"He is such a prude or super religious. You know we haven't even done it yet." Peggy said frustrated as she sat across from you at the small coffee shop. Steve was at an away game and without a car she found time to finally hang out with you.
"That's surprising seeing as how much you two go at it whenever I see you" you remarked while drinking your iced tea. Anytime you were stuck with the love birds they were nauseatingly affectionate.
"I know right. Gawd he gets me so riled up and then nothing. So frustrating... Any who I want to have a party at my house this weekend for my birthday."
You cocked a suspicious brow at her. Peggy had never been into school dances let alone parties, before Steve she was a book worm that enjoyed small simple quite nights in.
"Isn't your birthday next month?"
"Yes, but my folks are going out of town soooo..." She looked at you so innocently. Your heart always fluttered a bit when she did that.
"I want to, but ever since that movie thing Bucky acts weird whenever I try and speak to him while Steve has just gotten worse." It was true it was one thing to annoy you at school, but he was bringing your Uncle into the mix. Police were called to the house on several occasions. Telling your uncle there was a report of women's screams coming from the house, it took half an hour to convince them otherwise without incident. Then the prank calls started. The calls were at the same time every night and wouldn't stop until you turned off the phones. Not to mention you were getting tired of having to clean the shattered eggs and toilet paper that decorated the lawn.
"I spoke to Steve when you told me about what's been happening and he promised me that it wasn't him. He is such a sweetheart once you get to know him...Come on please...for me?" Peggy pleaded. You wanted to believe her, but your gut knew better.
"Since its your birthday I will make this one exception" She squealed at your answer. "But if he start anything I'm gone."
🎂
The house was already a disaster. You weren't sure who, how or when kegs were brought in, but red cups could be seen within every corner of the room. Everyone was very drunk and rowdy except for you.
You kept stuck around Peg as she clung to Steve. "Oh oh oh theres James" Peggy shouted over the music. She caught the handsome boys attention, screaming his name repeatedly from across the room, he made his way over and you felt instantly awkward.
Not knowing were to look as he approached you turn away only to find Peggy locking lips with Steve again.
"Sickening isn't it" James voice brushed your ear. Giving him your full attention you were surprised he was even talking to you.
"You have no idea. The only time I see her now a days is when she is attached to him." You joke, you hear him chuckle and you wonder if maybe he had a twin. This guy's vibe was way different than the Bucky that walked the halls of your school.
"Can I get you a drink? Believe me it makes the sight of it a lot easier" James did have a point, you were only young once. It was getting boring just watching the show.
Breaking from Peggy Steve interrupts "Where's Wanda?"
Welp that confirmed he was indeed the same guy that ignores your existence at school. Looking up at the sly dog you wait for him to confirm. Bucky shouted something to Steve over the music, but you couldn't tell what.
"You know what? A drink sounds like a good idea." You break from the small group and find a keg yourself.
The silver barrel was a strange contraption to you. With the red cup in your hand you try and figure out how to use it. Steve snatched your cup and placed it on your head like a party hat. " Really Steve!"
"Here let me" James takes the cup from your head and pours beer into the cup. Handing it back to you, you take it and take a big gulp. That was a mistake as the taste was horrid, coughing uncontrollable as they laugh at you.
🎂🎂
The buzz hit almost instantly. You were dancing to your own beat despite the music. Peggy even grabbed your hands and danced with you. She looked so beautiful tonight, your heart wanted to explode in your chest when she hugged you tightly, whispering and giggling in your ear. It took a bit of self control not to kiss her in the moment.  
Who knew alcohol could be so much fun.
The room started to swirl at some point.
Hands held on to you, steadying you against them as the room spun on.
"Bucky take care of her for me" a voice broke through your cloud. The music of the party had died down, things weren't as loud as before and you wondered what the time was. When you tried to look it was as if everything was underwater, blurry and fuzzy, moving giving you motion sickness.
You couldn't hear his reply, but you were sure Steve walked off with Peggy so they could have some fun. With an arm around your waist you were led away too. Bucky whispered something in your ear, but it felt off, his voice didn't sound right.
When you blinked you were on your back. The fabric of a comforter rubbed against your palms.
Blinking again you felt something heavy on you, but it was a struggle to focus still. The lights were on in the room, but you couldn't register the features of the person on top of you. Your head was so clouded, your limps too heavy to lift as you try and create a distance between you too.
"Buoockkky.."You felt as if your mouth was filled with cement, your words were a jumble as you try and talk. A figure lowered down and kissed you. Turning your head to the side was the only movement you could manage. The unwanted kissing didn't stop, moving your head back their tongue deepened within your mouth as you try to cry out in protest.
Blinking this time you weren't sure how long it took to get your eyes open. The air was much colder than you remembered sending a shiver throughout your body. Something licked on your chest and you yelp pathetically at the sensation.
"Mmm" you moaned as it sucked and kissed so tenderly at parts of you. It felt so good, your body just wanted to give into it all. Looking down you were sure you were seeing things as Bucky's hair looked just as wrong as his voice. "No..." You managed to get out, but when you repeated it it didn't sound the same.
The next blink welcomed you to an unfamiliar pain between your thighs. It shot up through your core and you wanted desperately to escape it. You tried to lift your legs and arms but it felt like you forgot how to move them.
"Thats.. it .." His voice panted through your subconscious. You felt like you were a rag doll when someone moved your legs around, spreading them open as you blacked out again.
"Oww.." You hissed out waking up to shooting pains. "Hurt.." Words still failing to be put together. Every syllable taking more and more energy from you.
"Shh.. shhh" the voice hushed you as the pain permeated through you.
There was something stretching you so much so that you whimpered at the fullness.
You heard a familiar voice pant your name, praising you, but it was so floaty you weren't sure if it were real. Your eyes fell shut again before you could register it all.
The world around you felt so warm and fuzzy. You tried opening your eyes again, but they were just too heavy. It didn't matter now as the gentle rocking of the room lulled you to sleep.    
🎂🎂🎂
The light coming from the window seemed to amplify the pounding in your head. You weren't sure when you got in bed with Peggy, but you were sure that if this was what it felt like to drink you would never do it again. The last thing you remember was dancing with her then everything went black.
When you moved your legs there was a shooting pain and soreness between your thighs and it felt as if you peed yourself. Patting the mattress you felt the reminisce of wetness, lifting your hand to your face you saw blood. Your period must've started in the middle of the night. Peggy would never let you live down bleeding on her bed that was for sure.
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Present
When you leave this time you were going to stay gone, no matter what. Finding an apartment that didn't care about what name you put on the lease or sleep in a shelter if you had to. Just like before you would get a job that paid under the table maybe another waitress job somewhere along the way. It might take a while to get over the paranoia of him finding you and dragging you back. But eventually you could move on. Move to a better neighborhood find a better job and live free again.
The drive back from the Pawn shop had you a bit on edge by now you were sure that your uncle would be up and wondering about his truck. You had half a mind to go to the bus station now and just mail him his truck keys, but you didn't want to burn that bridge.
At every light, corner or stop sign you had an eye out for their patrol car as well. Pulling into your Uncle's driveway you park. It took a moment before you could move.  You didn’t want to find out if your uncle found his truck and tools gone just yet.
*Buzz Buzz
Grabbing your bag from the passenger seat you dig out your cell. Your fingers itched as you began unlocking your phone. Praying in your head that Steve had not been in the cop car you saw at the pawn shop. Praying that he wasn't going to punish you.
MSG Steve: Morning! MSG Steve:(...typing)
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Chapter 4>>>>
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arhvste · 4 years ago
Text
next stop iwa-chan!
“now i know we’re not dating, maybe soon by the way things go, we’ve been talking for ages, take it step by step slow it down we just need to be patient, if the love feels good and it’s real, it’ll all work out”
y/n panted as she ran up to iwaizumi and oikawa’s shared apartment. not bothering to want to wait any longer to see him, y/n opted to take the stairs not willing to wait for the elevator.
4 flights of stairs weren’t too unforgiving to the girl especially with the adrenaline running through her. nothing else mattered other than getting to iwaizumi.
after what felt like a whole expedition, y/n finally reached iwaizumi’s door and waited a moment to gather herself before knocking. 
swiftly, the door swung open revealing a freshly showered (fuucckkkk he's so hot i’m so jealous of you 😔) iwaizumi with his dark hair damp and a few water droplets hanging at the ends of the short strands. his lean figure complimented by a white tank and black sweats, and oh his arms. the arms that had gotten y/n into the mess way back when. y/n knew iwaizumi looked good but to look this good after a casual shower? that should be illegal.
“y/n.” he spoke softly as he stepped out the doorway to let her in. 
the girl smiled slightly and cautiously entered the sleek and modern apartment. the tension was thick but not in a overwhelming and heavy way. no negative feelings towards each other in the air, just anxiousness and concern for the conversation waiting to occur.
“let’s go sit yeah? your legs might give over by the time i’m done telling you everything i need to if i make us stand.” he joked slightly as they made their  way over to the inviting couch.
“i’d rather you make my legs give over in another way rather than making me stand for too long.” y/n joked back earning a snicker from him.
this was good.
the mood was being lifted ever so slightly. y/n didn't want iwaizumi to feel obliged to vent to her in a completely serious atmosphere.
the two sat and iwaizumi anxiously began to play with his hands.
“so obviously you know what i’m going to tell you. just tell me if im going on too much yeah? i don't want you to feel like i’m just dumping this all on you to make you feel bad or anything like th-”
y/n grabbed iwaizumi’s hands into her smaller ones and gave them a light squeeze as she held them.
“tell me anything and everything you want and need to.”
he smiled and took a small breath before continuing.
“so, you know shitty- i mean oikawa. you know oikawa the boy who gave you my number at the train station. he’s been my best friend for as long as i can remember. the piece of shit was always getting himself into all types of trouble, he can be so reckless sometimes... but that’s why we work well together. i call him out on his behaviour and help him fix it and he keeps me grounded. it’s always been like that.”
iwaizumi stopped for a brief moment to look into y/n’s eyes. her only twinkling and gleaming with pure genuine and care. 
“so when we got to highschool, he uh, started getting a lot of attention. from girls i mean. they flocked him everywhere we went, sometimes i even had to go out of my way to look for him when he was late to practices or lost out of our group. his fangirls were... irritating and shallow. none of them saw or wanted to get to know oikawa for who he was. believe it or not y/n, sometimes i hate to admit it but he's a good guy really. he just has a funny way of showing it sometimes so it’s not the clearest.”
the girl laughed slightly as she nodded for iwaizumi to continue.
“so the end of second year, oikawa had been dumped by his girlfriend because she said he was too absorbed with volleyball even though she knew what she was getting into from the second she asked to date him. oikawa was bothered by even more girls after they learned he was single again and that's when my uh... ex was introduced to me.”
the word “ex” didn't seem to sound nice coming from iwaizumi’s mouth. it was almost like he had to force himself to say it.
“she wasn’t a fan of oikawa’s, well a clear one anyway. i’d never seen her in the huge groups of screaming and shoving girls whenever we had matches or practice so i just assumed she wasn't interested in him. i met her in the halls one day and helped her carry some books from her locker to her class.”
y/n felt iwiazumi’s hands grip hers ever so slightly tighter. this relationship must've affected him more than y/n thought.
“after that we spoke more often and became good friends. she was different to oikawa i didn't have to babysit her or scold her. she was easy to be around.”
iwaizumi had to stop himself from ending that sentence with “like you”. y/n and his ex were not the same. y/n was easy to be with in a different way. a better way. it was unexplainable, but y/n really was something else and iwaizumi meant this when he said it.
“months later and she confessed. i accepted and things went from there. things were good for ages. i felt happy? yeah, i felt happy with her. things were great between us. for once in my life i didn't feel inferior. i know i don’t show it but sometimes it can get a little... much? being stood next to the school’s idol your whole life will give you the automatic label of second best.”
he laughed at this slightly. a choked out laugh.
fuck he was already having to hold himself back from allowing the flood of emotions to break through the mental dam he’d built up over the years.
“we dated for over a year. i loved her. i really did... it just- it just wasn't reciprocated apparently.”
y/n leaned forward to caress the struggling ex ace’s face as he scrunched his face slightly to stop himself from breaking down. iwaizumi wasn't a man of too much emotion. his manly persona had led others to believe he was incapable of feeling hurt and iwaizumi just fed into this expectation not expecting anyone to call him out on it.
“she- no, i came out of practice and she was pressed up against oikawa’s locker with another boy from her class. i-... i didn't hear much of their conversation just bits. she said something along the lines of ‘if i can’t have oikawa the next best thing is to be done against his locker.’ fuck, i didn't even feel like second place.”
tears were now gathering in his eyes as he turned to look away for y/n who only looked at him with sympathy. wasting no time, y/n pulled iwaizumi’s head into the crook of her neck as she let him vent out all the pent up emotions that had been building up for months on top of months. she ran her fingers through his dark hair not caring that it was still damp as she drew circles on his tense back muscles to calm him down.
“take your time. i have all the time in the world for you.”
iwaizumi sighed after a few more minutes of quietly crying.
“s-sorry i just- everything became too much. i’m being stupid aren't i? getting upset over not even being second best to oikawa but his locker instead.”
“haijime.”
the boy’s head snapped up to meet y/n’s challenging gaze.
“you are anything but stupid. you have every right to be upset. i can’t even begin to try and understand what you went through. don’t you dare hold back, let everything out i want you to feel okay after all this and even if you don't, i at least still want you to get it all out your system.”
iwaizumi nodded before continuing.
“after that i broke up with her. she said that she was only dating me to try and get close to oikawa but that had gotten her nowhere apparently. she had been seeing that other boy for t-three months before our relationship ended. i should've seen it coming i feel so idiotic for not noticing sooner.”
“what did oikawa say when he heard about this?”
“he was livid. even i didn't feel like i could stand against him, then again i never really could in some sort of sense anyway.” he laughed dryly as y/n frowned.
“stop that.”
“stop what?”
“calling yourself second best, putting yourself as second best. you’re not second best and you never will be. fuck haijime, you know you’re the only one who’s ever managed to occupy my mind so effortlessly. since you, there’s been nobody else on my mind so i’m hurting knowing that you think you’re anyones inferior because for what it’s worth you’re not and never will be mine. you are your own person and you’re the person i’m so so helplessly in love with. everything about you. absolutely everything. you’re my person so please stop thinking you’re second place because nobody with a sane mind thinks that.”
iwaizumi was left speechless. he looked into y/n’s eyes and as always, nothing but sincerity shone in them. oikawa had been the one to indirectly end his relationship but something in iwaizumi’s mind told him that the universe had also allowed oikawa to bless him with something better. a chance for a better relationship with a girl he could openly and genuinely allow himself to fall in love with. oikawa tooru had given him the chance to be with y/n and there was no way in hell he was going to pass up what the universe had offered him. 
“y/n. thank you.”
the girl smiled as she raked her fingers through his hair and laced one of her hands into one of his own.
“don't thank me. this isn't something you should need to be told.”
“no, thank you for not ignoring oikawa’s antics. thank you for giving in and texting me. thank you for not complaining when i dragged you all the way to miyagi at 12am. thank you for giving me a look into domestic life with you. thank you for letting me into your life. thank you for letting me fall in love with you. thank you for falling in love with me. just- thank you y/n. im stupidly in love with you and i want to make sure i do things right with you.”
now it was y/n who was rendered speechless as tears of her own pricked into the corners of her eyes.
“you idiot.” she huffed as she pulled herself into his chest.
“your idiot.”
“my idiot.”
the two stayed like that a little longer. relishing in the now lifted tension. iwaizumi felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulder and y/n felt nothing but relief that he’d finally managed to let go.
he was still healing, that much was obvious and both of them knew he wasn't ready for a title yet.
the two were ridiculously in love.
and for now that was enough.
‘just a little longer y/n i promise.’
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next stop iwa-chan!
iwaizumi haijime x reader
masterlist
an - after oikawa found out about what had happened with iwaizumi he tried to convince his older sister to cyber bully iwaizumi’s ex (she said no so he told his fangirls to give her dirty looks in the halls instead fuevdhs)
akaashi’s playgroup || two pretty setters and co
part 24 - im telling her
part 25 - my person
part 26 - labels
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