#ig im just being lazy or smthn

[fuzart]

FUZ !!!!!!!!!!!!!! what’s the worst thing you’ve ever eaten

for me it’s spoiled milk…….*gags*

IM SO SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY 😔😭

Hmm worst thing? I ate a lot of worst thing tbh. Uh maybe Raw egg yolks but it's not really that bad. Spoiled milk,blegh. It's worse.but you know what,imma go with spoiled chocolate milk. I drank half of a cup of that cuz I lose a game . Ugh,it's terrible.

It's a group game,dw though,we kinda drank some of it and threw the rest away 😗

[angeisherexoxo]

EVERYONE HEAR ME OUT (I think I was so close to entering the void)

From what I noticed, void is literally just as simple as sleeping, but because we suddenly heared about it we thought it's something way too complicated and "impossible" and that's what made us take a little processing the whole thing and practicing it ig, but the last week I was sick, and tbh I had no energy to overthink the attempt like I always did, so I layed down in my bed, wrapped up myself in a blanket and since I always fall asleep when I'm laying, I sat a LITTLE and supported my back with pillows so My position can be both comfortable and a mix between sitting+ laying, and literally I was just there, took breathes, said I'm in void (affirming), and I had a void subliminal playing out on my sister's phone (mine is broken), as I said I had no energy to do extra work which is (overthinking it/overcomplicate it) and as I'm sick I was low-key between being aware and unaware, I took like 10 or 20 minutes idk but it was the most successful attempt so far, I suddenly realized that I can't hear the subliminal on my sister's phone? I LITERALLY CANT HEAR ITT, I was like bitch where is it? It's just gone even tho it was right next to my pillow, but what confused me is I could first feel my body and second feel my room, I wasn't in void completely or idk really, I still affirmed anyways, and once I was done (let me tell you how I was done, once i stopped hearing the subliminal.. my dumbass started wondering why it stopped and where did it go lmao, so i focused on it again and thats where i started hearing it which means if i was close now im not☠️😭 ) I realized it wasn't void but I guess it was close enough? I have no clue but guys! This gave me so much hope and knowledge, I knew it's just by letting the whole thing go and literally just exist!!! (Even while im laying down i had soooo many thoughts i cant even remember them, i was just randomly overthinking while breathing and being there) Yk when you're down and you have ZERO energy to go throughout the day? Yes, do this with the void, act so chill and be like meeh and you'll be in, plus I read a post here that's still stuck in my head idk the acc but it said : "void is just like sleeping, when ur going to sleep do you complicate it and say I'm going to sleep I'm going to sleep? Like you're going to war or smthn?"

The point is to not complicate it and remember that BITCH YOU'RE DOING IT FOR THE SAKE OF YOU!!!!!!! DONT BE LAZY, DONT COMPLICATE IT BECAUSE YOU DESERVE HAVING IT SO EASY SINCE U STRUGGLED FOR THIS LONG, IT ALL FOUND YOUUUU FOR A REASON, YOU GO GET THAT REASON DONEE!!!!!

Note:

1. I'm consistently affirming for void whenever I can despite what I feel or see.

2. It exists

3. It's easy af.. It's like- idk for example its as easy as walking but I can't explain walking so you gotta do it yourself type of thing

I hope I helped <3

[star-crossed-mid]

Leon becoming the king rambles

I haven't finished the entirety of everyone's stories (I just did the mainstory for all 12) but I've been thinking about Leon's final story where he ascends to the king status.

more info dumping theories below. Also I could be wrong like again I have not finished anyone's story completely pls correct me if im wrong

From what I've seen he becomes king of the heavens and is given a new set of stars (the king star).

It makes me wonder who's taking over as minister of wishes/ruler of leo. He did give MC the Leo constellation for her to become a god iirc. It's funny bcuz its almost like his name correlates to a lion and itd probably get confusing from there. Also MC has aquarius in one of her eyes so I wonder if it just went back to hue after this.

Would Vega or Karno become minister? Would it be MC? Would the departments even be a thing when he's king or would he fundamentally just change everything.

If leon becomes the new king/becomes omnipotent, wouldn't he just be forced to live like the king, always hidden away and alone because he literally sees and knows all. Only left a victim of watching things happen until ppl come up to you for more. Letting curiosity roam free as you have infinite power to do anything. A move of his hand and things are gone. Is he even himself at this point or does the curse of infinite knowledge and power catch up.

This also dives into Leon as a character. He's portrayed as lazy and uninterested (on mondays or smthn) at first. He's also shown as a hard worker and genuinely tries to be just and fair. Whenever a god is in trouble he always makes a stand towards Zyg and the King. Most of his character arc is Leon trying to understand that he can trust MC/other people and that they care for him as a person, not a mighty powerful being. Despite his attitude towards everything, Leon is just a character who has to learn to undo his past ways of thinking that were hurting him and the people around him (and he does healthily learn). Leon's behavior is also very cat-like.

Would he be able to keep all the progress he made in a position similar to where he was most hurt.

He also marries mc and has a kid in that route so ig there's that. From what I've seen he changes a few things to allow everything to go smoothly.

Also to note Star-crossed myth has generally happy endings and is on positive notes most of the time compared to other god media being nitty gritty. I may be reading too deep into this to cope with the bad ending of a new video game. For some reason I really love fics/concepts with the scm gods that are tragic like actual mythology/fairytales

I just consumed a bunch of different media that dealt with characters becoming omnipotent gods and it never ends well.

Most of the times characters who ascend to higher status are just left as watchers, in new forms, only watching what once was and what they once had. No one knows if the previous versions of themselves are still there, or just apart of something bigger now.

There was one fan excerpt where the chars of the show were just yelling at the sky/showing the sky items they bought. They did this hoping to show their old friend who had became an omnipotent god said items, and having no idea if they saw it or not. The ex-partner of the person who ascended also spent a majority of the show trying to speak to them again. Even if they weren't together it was the act of love that stayed.

In a new video game that just came out, theres a character who has a really traumatic backstory and has the option to stop their abuser and 'ascend' to a position like their captor. The entire arc of this specific character relies on them making their own choices for once and not being apart of someones plan, and you as the player have the option to watch them make their choice to ascend or try to change their mind. When this character ascends it literally cursed them into continuing their cycle of abuse and losing themselves in the process. Spent the entire game going through character development only for a ritual to just undo everything hahaha imissthemsomuch one thing ascending did was take away their sense of humor and ability to be nice.

anyways wishing leon the best in the messy story of star-crossed myth xoxo dont let the power get to ur head babes hope he does better than the mf king fuck that dude

also random hc ill probably draw later is I like to believe that both Zyg and Leon were in line for the throne as kids/young gods. Leon a little more favored bcuz his powers r stated to be strongest, Zyg being older and more responsible at the time.

tldr Leon probably pissed off Zyglavis somehow and Zyg gave leon the 'ultimate punishment' and took himself out of the competition. The punishment being the weight of the crown.

[frostbite-the-bat]

goofy ass ms paint werewolf eating a mango as a divider between the rant under this bc i do not wish to be precieved rn but i still wanna rant some thoughts out

random lovely guzma urge to delyeet everythin on myne site bc not only did i make it for petz things back when i was active between petz folks and got some encouragement there and ended up never finishing petz things for it, but i also feel horrible and uncommited for it being hosted and made on weebly and for bein too lazy to yeet my shit over to neocities just cause that shit gives me a headache and instead of getting inspired by people i feel jealous and unwelcome

also been working on my sleep schedule its a bit better now and im like. better in general now..? idk how long i can keep this up but getting up early makes me just. so tired like all day urgh i do not understand how i used to keep myself up when this tired. tired tired. brain empty. hard to do shit for long. defo needs more breaks but i swear to god everything feels like its frying my brain but i got nothin to do indoors. guess i can go draw traditionall but i end up putting such high expectations on myself i just yeah. fuck it up. get stressed. not fun. i need to stop thinking about others bc i keep thinking i put effort into smthn i need to show it off.like if i wasted time here i might as well. no this isnt showable it sucks damn it

even stuff i do draw purely for myself as self indulgent shit i go urhh this aint right

oh and then i try doin a lil excercise so im not like. physically diyng but my god that tires me out like instantly. but its okay, baby steps.

dont know what sort of place i am in mentally. the type id prolly spiral a bit over if it werent nice and 2 pm. wacky stuff. i wanna maybe do some stuff but ugh my brain just. isnt big thoughts when im tired. but honestly when am i not tired. and i am getting art done but i cant get myself to draw all day again ill end up in pain again my hand rn already is being a bit of a bitch

uhhh played pokemon in the morning but i need better pokemon already. i fuck up every raid (raids i need so i can get better mons easier) (and my shiny ralts i want easier)

hmm maybe i need a break from stuff but what kinda break what even is relaxing in my case? and "break from people" is a slippery slope of self isolation i always slip into. bit difficult to figure myself out

also, different thing, but ive been considering this for a good few months now and kinda ignoring it but i read one (1) thing and i m intrigued to do more n more research now but man do not like how moral ocd clicks perfectly with a lot of my most common issues . so i guess thats a thing to consider going into (like research) . if it helps .bc dear god i am Sensitive

but uhmmm yea sleeping better now ig like i went to sleep around ONE. my usual sleep time was 5-6 am a while ago !!!!!!! 1 am has always been my kinda usual time. man and i used to do that even when i had school and i *functioned* with less sleep. how did i do that. uhm. not well i guess

but yeah. things.. arent feeling right and i kinda wanna wipe my brain. also the neocities thing seems to be a part of my issue of (ppl who dont care abt me) r gonna thingk i suck bc i dont do (this that i find difficult) (coding) i will be exploded forever and shunned andhated

uhmmm what else yea last thought i forgot as i was gonna type it and the last thing i am deciding not to share anyway bc Shame so hooray

guy who is eeypy tired

i am just realizing how like tired i am but if i go nap ill make it worse so uhmm cope i guess lmfao at least it keeps me going to sleep at a more regular hour but like srsly brain we got around 8 hours of sleep why are you tired we used to get less and function fine. maybe not as good but we functioned

[battiegutz]

ok theve all been de-felted except for their belt buckles bc i wanna remake those b4 first before i take em off but holy shit the accessories are so poorly designed. like ok obviously im super excited fr mutant mayhem nd i love that theres already merch out but also i have a special interest in plushies. so. the hard felt is common for smaller accessories and more complicated shapes (unfortunately) but wht really irks me with these in particular is how theyre advertised as like "pillow buddies" or somthing like that. pillows. stop putting hard felt on fucking!!!!pillows!!!!!! not to mention the lazy execution of the props, they look like they were drawn in mspaint and directly transported into the real world. for fucks sake, donnies bo is literally just a brown line like. no wrappjngs, no stickers, nothing. brown stick. nd like they all look so so bad in comparison to leos tiny detail of the embroidered throwing stars on leos belt which look! fucking excellent! and then you look on his back and theres these swords made of fucking cardboard with the handle printed on like. what. and donnies headphones being flat felt is?? so out of place?? like please just make them plush it looks SO weird omg. i also dont know wht they left so much room between where the plastron ends and where its sewn onto their body?? like a turtles plastron is attached to them you can. you can attach it a bit more. the masks are honestly pretty good, the eyes look a bit dopey nd i had to remove some stitching to lower them on their faces bc they were wayyy too high up but otherwise ok. for some reason raphs mask is a different material frm the others tho?? his mask is noticeably softer material and is also just part of his face "mold" so no mask adjustments for him ig. hol up jus thought of smthn imma test it. ok untyin raphs mask tails went fine just had to remove a stitch nd now i can style them :3 unfortunately with the others (donnie was my test subject sorry lil guy) it removes the last stitch holdin it to their head but also it was super loose so got to make his mask fit his face better👍 ok infodump over everyone go home

i love th mm plushies theyre so sillay but on god im abt th rip off the stupid fucking stiff felt attachments like their weapons and shit the texture is like fucking sandpaper to me what the FUCK

[whaleofatjme1920]

hello, my lovely !! i was hoping to get a matchup with one of the creepypastas. I’m hoping this is all okay for you. Thank you, you are the light of my life.

soo,,,i’m around 5’2 from when i last checked. My figure is hourglass and curvy, I often do that thing where you just kind of hold your tiddies for no reason. I’m one of those people who tans really well and never burns but goes quite pale when I’ve stayed hibernating in my room for only a couple days. This results in me always having pretty dark circles like a beaten up raccoon due to both my lack of sleep and when i oversleep. This always leads to me being ‘relaxed’ which is actually me being lazy and tired. I have naturally waved hair, that straightens and feels all soft/fluffy when i hair dry it, just touching my shoulders since i cut it recently. It’s currently my normal hair colour which is sort of chestnut brown and sometimes dyed different colours, ooh i have green hazel eyes too (my eyes happen to be my favourite features). Uhh, I hate showing my teeth when smiling so you’ll usually get a soft closed mouth smile or my grins where i struggle to keep my mouth shut.

My style, a lot like yours truly, can change. The most frequent styles i go for are dark academia and gothic, these just show my interests off a bit. Like, I’m all for libraries, my earrings in my lobe and around my helix because i have a small obsession for jewellery like rings, also genuinely living for my playlists that i have for every situation out there. Oh, you need music because your now ex boyfriend just ate your dog ? You don’t already have one?? Well, you’re in luck, i do.

My zodiac (some say sun) sign is a Capricorn, my moon is Sagittarius and my rising is also Capricorn. How far i agree with them? I’m not too sure about half of it tbh.

In short, my personality tends to vary quite a bit, depending on my surroundings or who I’m with. It takes quite a long time for me to even become comfortable with people, but that doesn’t stop me from being considerate to most people or being an absolute mum friend when necessary (not overbearing though, because ik people dont always react well with that). Ig that makes me pretty careful/gentle with both people and objects.

I’m afraid I can’t go too into detail, my lovely, but i can say that my humour is extremely dry and filled with innuendos- some unintentional.

relationship wise~

okay, so, um, I’m an omnisexual with she/they pronouns (afab).

I’m a switch. So, yk when i’m in a dom mood because i will have my suit or shirt on. I quite enjoy seeing my partner whining for me, all needy and praise is just- yes. yes please. this is prolly because i’ve always been raised to be well-mannered. Same goes for when I’m being topped, i like having a soft dom and occasionally rough when im feeling particularly spicy.

I’m fairly open to experimenting as long as i know what we’re doing. I do draw a line at being degraded or humiliated since I hate feeling embarrassed and helpless. This is why im not too keen on hate/angry sex. The only harming i’ll allow is biting and a bit of scratching. It’s an intimate moment, let’s keep it that way please.

Outside of that, I’ve always been awkward. Whenever someone holds their hand out for a hug or hand hold, i high-five them :| call me touch-starved i dare you. I’ll manage eventually though.

I’ve got a list of things i’d die for (giving and receiving) <3

leaning into s/o for cuddles or headpats, playing with hands/hair, being dragged by the hand to do smthn, reading to s/o, playing games, ive always been one for giving nicknames and the usual shenanigans we could get up to. like, baby, we could go out into the woods for an adventure dressed as trees to steal juice and collect cool rocks or stay in do karaoke and make fun of bad films. I’d just love having that one person to be my everything and them feeling comfortable to talk about stupid random stuff with me or open up, i pride myself in being open and good with listening. i will take care of them as usual and perhaps roll them into a burrito if necessary.

Your matchup is… Toby!

Read more because of NSFW :}

In general:

So, I read over this and had a few people come to mind for this. It honestly took me a hot minute or so to finally come to a conclusion on who I wanted to pair you with and a few things bounced around in my head before I finally came to the conclusion yes: this is Toby territory.

What he likes about you:

So, physically, just to begin with, Toby really likes your figure! I get the vibe that Toby actually really likes full figured people, who like, this matches up pretty well imo. He thinks your hair is absolutely beautiful and will spend his time running his fingers through it and talking about how beautiful he thinks it is. He also really, really loves the color! And come on this man finds your smile absolutely adorable, regardless if you show teeth or not. All of your smiles are good ones, especially if they’re genuine. Furthermore, he’s gonna hype up your teeth. Whether you accept that or not, take it up with him lmfao Toby is really good for making people feel like gold. He really likes your changing senses of style too because he’ll just,,,, fall into them entirely. Thinks you can pull off everything so well. He LOVES your piercings too!! Also finds it really cute that you have playlists for everything lmfao. I also think he likes your sun sign (I have a small bias towards Capricorns lmfao, I’m sorry, it’s the Virgo in me). Toby really isn’t concerned with zodiac/natal chart stuff so like, but I do think he’d get along with you very well. He thinks you being 5’2 is cute too-. He thinks you being a mom friend is also super sweet too. Also likes that you’re gentle with both people and objects. Furthermore, your sense of humor just,,,,, like it just lines up with him y’know,,,, While I don’t think Toby’s humor is childish, it’s definitely try and full of innuendos as well.

General cute stuff:

I think Toby would be super sweet with you regardless, and wants to hold you but that’s just because he himself is super touch starved. He would… He would high five you lmfao. He understands what it means to be awkward and is one of those “let’s be awkward together” kind of guys. He’s also super into the leaning in for cuddles. When is he not cuddling with you? Always wants to curl up in bed or on the couch as the rain falls and just hold you, humming softly and whispering little secrets about the world and everything in it. Is ready to headpat you whenever, will compare hands with you and do all that kind of cute stuff. Toby loves to go out on little adventures so like, this man is ready to do it all with you. Grocery runs where you just push each other in the carts? Doing donuts in the parking lot at midnight? Wandering the city at high noon and just existing? Little chain restaurant dates, little car rides, traversing the woods and seeing cool mushrooms, watching movies, y’know all that wholesome stuff. Toby would give you just as many nicknames! You will never out nickname him. He’s also really bad at karaoke but he would have fun doing that with you. You could,,,,,, you could roll him into a burrito if you’d like,,,,,,,,

You two as a couple & NSFW:

Toby is really patient and understanding when it comes to his romantic partners. He understands that people are different and some take their time and he’d never rush you for anything. But I feel it would be super easy for you to warm up to Toby. He’s just a pretty mellow people person, y’know? He will also gift you jewelry!! I imagine your relationship is nothing but fun and good love. Just that really wholesome stuff where everyday feels like an adventure. Toby is admittedly kinda awful at taking care of himself so please,,,,, please help him out with that sometimes. Also will get lost looking into your eyes. Just nonstop, “they’re jewels.” He finds you so sweet and so adorable, just let him love you and absolutely adore you. Also he will show you off sometimes! He’s a bit cocky at times so like, if you’re looking fine as hell (which is ALL THE TIME) I swear he is ready to be like “look at my BABY.” Toby will collect cool stuff with you. I can honestly see thrifting dates being a thing between you two, taking time to just explore and stuff. Toby has a hard time opening up about stuff so like, please, help him with that. He will eventually feel so at peace with you and so safe that he’ll just let it all out. I can also see nap dates being a thing between the two of you as well.

This was a big part of how I matched you with someone. I think Toby is a switch! Which is great, because he actually liked being dominated once and a while. He is such a whiner lmfao. He sometimes wants someone to just take over and make him melt entirely. Do that for him. Make him beg for you. Make him writhe under your touch and make him cry out in ecstasy for you. He’ll just be a mess of “please, please please - tell me I’m a good boy” and that kind of stuff. Like YES. Luckily, Toby isn’t that dominant of a person? Like, he’s cocky and definitely likes stuff a certain way but he’s not too rough or too out there most of the time. He’ll always respect your boundaries and he’s just, y’know, a good soft dom. He can do praise really, really well. I also don’t think Toby liked being degraded or that he’s particularly good at degrading people either, so like, I don’t think you have to worry about that. Toby is kind of a scratcher? But nothing off the wall. He’s not too big into biting either. I think he’s big on intimacy as well. So, I really don’t think you need to worry about angry or hate sex. He’s a tad possessive?? But honestly just tell him what you will and won’t allow and he’ll follow through with that. He’s honestly so thrilled you’re letting him touch you.

Closing Thoughts/Other Things:

Hi love bug, you are really really sweet oh my goodness? I'd love to get to know you better just by what you wrote here omfg, flattering me silly. Though, I don’t think you actually gave me your age, I am trusting you immensely-- partly because you included kinks. And the other part just said,,,,, okay,,, I'm trusting you (and it didn't feel right to just make this one platonic.) That's all. Other than that, no, tell me about your humor! Tell me about it and your playlists, and whatever else you find fun and interesting with the world! This blog is just one giant “I will soak up everything bc ily.” You sound like such a sweet person, very sunshiney and just really - like my heart reading this stuff made me happy. I was happy reading this. Other than you being such a lovely person, as always, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed! <3

[jungxk]

// rant

i'm jus so heartbroken rn i've been crying for the past hour i jus need to put my feelings out there, i hope it's ok w you.

my mum wakes up today and jus starts berating me bc i didnt put washed dishes into the cabinets & the kitchen looked messy for her. i'm supposed to do it bc there's nothing else i actually do but yesterday i had woken up in the evening nd they called me to pray straight away so i totally forgot about it (coupled w the fact that i dont like doing it either cuz there's always sm dishes nd it's such a hassle). she jus started scolding me senseless nd im someone who doesnt get mad easily, even if i do i tend to stay quiet bc i dont like conflict & angry emotions are ugly. but i couldnt stop it today? she kept calling me selfish nd she's been calling me that the past few days as well bc i never help out w chores or anything. she's always asking me "what do u do for this family" or "what do u do in this house" every single time nd ofc i cant say shit bc i dont. i'm doing uni online nd it's really not that easy but bc i dont talk to my family like at all, they think i'm all good. the other day i pissed them off nd my parents straight up said "why do we need to pay for ur uni ure not doing anything anyway" & i jus... i didnt even know if i even deserve to feel sad over it. they were asking me what i wanna do after uni as if im not just in my first year & when i said im not sure they got so mad and my mum purposely said "just marry her off" to push my buttons into giving them an answer. they keep saying i'm pushing them into being the worst and saying the worst to me but how is that fair? they're parents? adults? i'm jus 20 & i can control my emotions? but today really jus pushed me she got so mad at me for the littlest things nd i jus exploded. I asked her why she's mad and she's like cuz of the kitchen bla bla bla nd it got so frustrating i told her it's not my problem nd i jus wont ever eat again since all the unwashed dishes piling is my fault. nd then she got mad at me for that and scolded me. I hate being touched but mostly i hate being hit. imagine getting hit at 20 years old bc my mother is too emotionally unstable that she cant take a few seconds by herself to calm her anger down. I hate it. nd bc i said it's not my problem she came nd told me "yea it won't be ur problem when i die too! i'll make sure when i do, u never come see me." jus... what kind of parent says that? i'm so careful w what i say & i slip sometimes bc i'm human but how can a mother say that? she doesnt know anything about me. she doesn't know i dont like being hit, she doesnt know i dont like it when ppl act impulsively on emotions. sometimes i feel like i really am the problem nd that i'm really selfish. spending shit ton of money to get me to study, maybe i am selfish. i dont mind it. i know myself well enough to hate things about myself. but to have parents who barely know me as a person rather than a daughter, getting this much mad at me for smthn so simple jus makes me so sad. bc i was doing the task when she asked. she does things like this then wonders why i cant ever talk to her. entire family thinks i'm immature bc i behave exactly how they treat me. 20 years. I never ask for much. but it's starting to feel like asking to study in the uk was my greatest downfall. it feels like i dont deserve this. every day i'm itching to get away, to live alone bc they've made me feel like i can never work well in groups. it's always somehow my fault as if they havent been invalidating me nd my feelings since birth.

nd i can never tell them all these bc i'm never confident in them. i'm never confident in whether i would be accepted nd comforted without ridicule or scolding. my brother & father tell me it's like that, that jus bc i may get a scolding shouldn't stop me from being open. but what kind of stupidity is that? my mother who makes me feel like the world is ending when i accidentally break smthn, that it wasn't an accident but rather it's me nd that i jus cant do a good job— where is the comfort i can ever find coming to her w a problem?

nd bc of that we're not close. bc of that she's closer to my cousins & everyone else really. they've never concerned themselves to talking about family issues w me but when i dont know, they shame me, saying i never bother to ask— how would i know when to ask? should they be telling me when there's smthn going on?

this makes the concept of family so repelling for me. there is inherently no reason to ever have a child that isnt selfish or self fulfilling. what they do as parents is to make them feel as important nd respected as they expect from the child. but it's never like that w south asians. emotions dont exist if ure the child nd apparently getting mad is a norm nd shouldn't stop u from being emotional w someone.

at times i tell myself that i should pay back every penny my parents spent on me. bc sometimes it feels like it's being used to make me act or feel a certain way. i dont wanna feel this way. theyre my parents, i know theyre good people. but i'm so hurt by the things going on nd the things from the past. my mother invalidates me sm. she more or less kinda blamed me for feeling useless and depressed last year. my brother was telling her to go easy on me nd she got so mad & frustrated bc she didnt know what she was doing wrong. "if she feels so useless why doesnt she do anything about it?" like that was such a golden chance for her to have comforted me nd i couldve opened up? but she ruined it nd hurt me again.

last year i lived w her alone nd my dad was in our home country. I was having some troubles w him gone but i dont call or text bc... it always felt like a drag. it never felt like a conversation nd the only time it did was when i complained to him about my mum. so much shit happened between my mum and i & this person advised me to jus write some of my feelings to her. so i wrote her a long letter nd i included saying how not having my dad was hard on me too. flash forward im in my home country & w my dad. i know nobody here bc i didnt grow up here. i'm doing online uni & basically have to stay indoors cuz of covid. she brings that letter up when she was to berate me nd it jus feels so uncomfortable for me? like ok my actions dont line up but i wrote that cuz i was looking for comfort nd understanding. if i knew it was going to be held against me, i would not have done it? "u said it was so hard for u without him, so what do u even do for him here now?"— what can i do? i'm just 20 nd the situation im in is not normal? i'm grateful to be w my dad again but what can i do? &it always freaking comes down to house chores. i try my best. when our maid doesnt come i do my best w my tasks. i know it's not enough but i jus... i dont even know. ig that part of me is selfish nd lazy.

it's so suffocating here. all my feelings are bottled up nd im so scared what that would do to me in the future. but at least i know i'm too selfish to ever spend the rest of my life w someone.

sorry for the long rant. i hope this didnt ruin ur mood or anything i jus need an outlet nd ur blog jus feels so comforting nd welcoming. thank u for listening to me nd my feelings. God bless u really kssjdjsj

i’m rlly sorry this is happening to you bby. idk what race u are but this sounds so much like that asian mentality where emotions are black and white and comfort in any way is out of the question. ur still rlly young tho so ur relationship with ur parents has room to improve i promise. i think it’s rlly important for u to move out whenever u can tho bc that’s what rlly improves the relationship. having said this i do think the way your mum talks to u/treats u is emotionally and mentally abusive so whether you want to uphold that tie with her in the future is ur choice i just rlly hope u get somewhere safe and away from ur family soon x

[bushdivingbushranger]

i agree with the "theres no ethical consumption under capitalism" bs cause there absolutely is but youre not only lazy but lack any kind of moral to accept it and instead spread brainless quotes like a parrot anyway idk why im upset cause i an avid consumer that should shut up but at least i acknowledge that im a piece of trash and its all product of my choices

PS please tell us about the the time you though you were being tested yo be the next jesus or something <3

so long as youre not doing like $500 shein hauls every other week i dont think ur trash. but yeah it absolutely enrages me to see ppl say that and not try at all to be ethical w their consumption like its virtue signalling and it is such ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway the preface to me thinking that i was being tested to be god's prophet is that i was slightly mentally unstable i think so. under the cut bc its embarrassing. I will sound insane udner the cut but i promise i am sane i was just raised with like the most insane parts of religion

this happened probably around the age of 12-16/17 when i was trying to turn back 2 god due to my sexuality. like it was a bunch of coincidences after each other that lead me to the conclusion that god was giving me the power to predict the future. for example when i was 12 my dad called home and before my mum even picked up the phone i was like 'my grandpa died' and he did, and then like 3 months later i predicted another death bc i just got this feeling randomly in the middle of the school day that my adoptive 'grandpa' (not rlly a grandpa but like a grandpa figure since i grew up around a bunch of old ppl) was going to die and he died the next day. i had a nightmare that wasn't even specifically about anything it was just me in a dark room with this terrible sense of foreboding and a clock ticking and ticking and the next day i saw the news abt the paris attacks so i thought i predicted that. two yrs later just had this terrible feeling and i was begging my mum not to take me to school bc i was just convinced something terrible was going to happen and literally a few minutes later we heard abt the manchester bombing so. i didnt tell anyone bc i was so stressed bc i was like no one will believe me and i was like god give me a sign that this is real and im not insane and like 3/5 times id ask for a sign which would be like make the wind blow or something and obviously bc wind blows all the time and my timing is terrible the wind would blow and id be like. ok. fuck. that one doesnt count. anyway fast forward like a year i decided 2 try and be more normal abt my sexuality and then terrible shit just KEPT happening to me like punishment, this lgbt page i used to admin on ig when i was like 14 at the exact same time as i was messaging one of my friends and coming out to her via IG bc she moved schools, started messaging ME being like i know what you are (obvi just to scare me) but i was freaked the fuck out!!! and i just had the absolute worst 2018. anyway eventually late 2019 came around, i tried turning 2 god again and tried to practice selflessness and stuff bc honestly i was also motivated by the fact that i hadn't had any predictions. so i made a prediction (still got it on my phone) that '(friend) will have a boyfriend by the end of the year' and she got one like the next month even though they broke up like three weeks later. but i was still asking for signs so one day im in the car while my dad is driving and i have two lollies, one strawberry flavoured (our shared fav) and one like watermelon or smthn. so bc i am still on the 'i am going to try and be selfless for god' train i give my dad the strawberry one and then when i look down at my hand the one i thought was watermelon was also strawberry so i was CONVINCED as a reward god turned my watermelon lolly into strawberry. obviously that didnt happen and i mustve misread the wrapper i thought was watermelon or something. anyway december came around, i graduated, i decided 2 test my prediction skills again because i was beginning 2 get cocky about being god's chosen one and so i texted my friend that good news was coming to her tomorrow and i was right bc her parents told her the next day they were getting her a laptop for uni. so. anyway. this all happened whilst i was still identifying as an atheist (i am an athiest now properly BGBSAKDG) so. i did make another prediction also in september 2019 that a 'structure would crumble' and that didnt come true DASGSADG thankfully.

[morphogenetic]

oh yeah im gonna uhhh copy these from what I said on twitter bc i want people here to have a chance to read these but: very long dr2 thoughts incoming. these were originally disparate threads but im too lazy to combine them coherently so this is what you get. under a readmore bc its very long and annoying lol

1. im gonna talk about this more when im further in and also when its not 5 am, but theres Something about the way that dr does its plot twists that feels kind of insulting to the intelligence of its audience. like. yeah a good plot twist is well-foreshadowed but at a certain point if you have an amnesiac protag and a traitor that gets mentioned from the very beginning............ik that there Is a reveal about this at some point already but its like. Really. R.

(honestly this was more of an issue with dr1 telegraphing its twists miles ahead but like. when you add like 6 blatant red herrings to try to confuse the player its just. Not good)

2. anyway minor nitpick that has nothing to do with the actual game and is a localization thing: who the fuck decided that "theater bonus prize" had to be the right order for that in English. that is super fucking unclear. you could justify "bonus theater prize" just as well.

honestly I've noticed a bunch of typos in the localization that really make me question it. this clearly isn't an original game issue but its not just forgetting a word or smthn, its forgetting the first letter of a word in a minigame. forgetting punctuation quite often. its..idk. its baffling to me bc dr isn't even a super old game? the official loc is WAY recent and I didn't even notice it being this bad in dr1 so idk what the hell is up

actually wait im thinking abt this more and dr2 having SO MANY translation errors is annoying when like. its a popular as fuck franchise (for some reason) and yet the quality of your translation is worse than obscure shit like rloop? what is wrong with you. ive already heard some tales about how gonta and (the one girl in v3 idk her name) got localized and ???? what the actual fuck happened there

3. honestly half of my problems w dr are literally just Plot Structure Things and I dont think v3 is gonna change those much. wow there are 5 islands! and there's obviously going to be a conclusion chapter! i Wonder how many people are going to die if two people die (ish) per chapter! wuoh!!!!!

4. i would like to criticize the 3rd case in dr2 specifically bc of it doing a hangman, a logic dive, and then another fucking hangman. who on EARTH thought that was okay. you do the first hangman and then instantly figure out The Case's Major Twist like. you didn't need those other two

5. honestly i might be going harder on dr2 than I would be otherwise purely because my last two games were fucking rloop and 13s which have absolutely MAGNIFICENT mysteries that feel properly foreshadowed the whole time. if you play two absolutely wonderful games In A Row then a completely average game is gonna feel like a mess lol

6. oh this is a dr structure complaint and not exactly something I know how to fix but once you get past the halfway point the murder mystery aspect starts getting way more boring for me bc you just have fewer and fewer people who could actually commit the crime.

like at this point in dr2 im like

-hinata is the protag

-komaeda seems way too plot important

-chiaki wouldn't kill anyone

-akane is gonna die probably but she's not cunning enough to kill

-nidai . is a robot

which leaves literally three fucking people (excluding fuyuhiko bc i don't think they'd put him through more pain). Please

7. ig dr's structure (in general, i cant see this Not applying to v3 and it applied to 1) would work better for me if it did something like rloop or yt//td. i know that's basically turning it into a different game but if you make your entire cast Potential Willing Murderers...hm.

its really hard to do death games generally but they generally feel less interesting to me if its just like "heres a motive, now Kill" like. idk. the motives never really have felt strong enough for me to believe they'd actually kill people. except the second case of 2 bc yeah that one actually tracks for me, but otherwise I'm like. the locked room mystery of 1 actively makes me angry bc the motive is stupid as fuck. Things Like That

8. idk man obviously im gonna finish dr as a series bc a) I already own it b) it's too influential in the cosplay community for me to not, but it is genuinely kind of baffling to me how THIS is the spikechun game that got popular. its not bc of the M rating bc 999 is RIGHT there. at least the music slaps but it keeps feeling like a slog, and when I finished the last two games I played - both of which are 40+ hour games - in A WEEK because of how engaging they were...it feels a little more painful than it would otherwise