#if you're wondering that just my tag for nyc

[blizzardfluffykpop]

alrighty!! Now here's your free time to also talk about everything you wanna about the trip!!

Also no rush, lovely 💜 I understand real life happens so if it takes a bit or a while that is totally okay!! Just pretty please know

(Also also if it's okay to share a little bit: before I had visited my brother and his wife out in Seattle, the only bigger city I had been to was Kansas City. And before I went out there my brother explained that the suburbs of Seattle are the size of Kansas City. Once I got out there I definitely found that to be true. One thing that I thought was super interesting that also has to do with the pigeons, is not only the number that there were but the fact that they were just so freaking chill around people. Like there was a time in walking around downtown Seattle to get to where Pike's Place Market is - and I'm in the one time where just my brother and I were waiting for the crosswalk, a pigeon just walked up and stood next to us waiting too. Once the light changed and my brother and I started to cross, the pigeon walked with us for quite a few hobbles then decided to finally fly away lolol!! I was laughing so hard thankfully my brother made sure we got to the other side with plenty of time and gave me a second to catch my breath. He was chuckling and ended up saying "Big city pigeons are pretty funny to be honest. They're around so many people I think it starts to rub off on them. So yeah, that's my experience with big city pigeons lolol)

I'll warn you this gonna be long and I'm gonna ramble and there's sm I have to say. And I'll add little photos to go along with it!

So- it took 14 hrs to drive out there (which was one stop at Denny's *which was actually vv good* and quite a few gas station stops). I drove for a small portion there. But omg- it was crazy there was this bridge that reminded me of this bridge in Cleveland- and all of the sudden you could see the three cities- you could see New Jersey and all island of Nyc- and it was just breathtaking. We drove through the Lincoln Tunnel and that was interesting- but when we came out of it... my god we were in Times Square. (Tbh before this I didn't know shit about nyc- I thought it all happened on one island... Turns out it's got like 4-5 islands!?) Anyways that was beautiful- (it looks so grainy... but Tbz Nectar joke "So sweet like nectar-" "A taste worth more")

Then we made it to our hotel in Queensboro (at 11:11 pm) and I don't know if you've ever watched Taxi- but the bridge (Queensboro Bridge) that is like synonymous to the tv show- we got to drive over it- and we were staying right beside it on Long Island. In The Ravel- it might be by the same hotel that produced Days Inn but it was sososo nice- (maybe not as nice as a Hampton Inn or a Marriot but vv nice -if I wasn't paying for it we would have slept in the car/in a motel...). And maybe it's my inner carat but- we stayed on Vernon Blvd. Literally right on our balcony when you went out- you'd see it and I laughed so hard "Vernon?! Chwe!? Hansol?! You're so handsome!"

The next morning we went over the said bridge, over Roosevelt Island, and onto Manhattan island. Where we went to see central park- specifically the Strawberry Fields part. (Which is across from The Dakodas where Lennon... yeah...) Anyways- the fields itself is completely gone since John's passing it's been in disrepair. But there was an "Imagine" circle dedication and people were singing and it was really sweet. Then we looked for Radio City Music Hall (where the boyz would be performing) and found it! Then like a street or two over? We ate at Bill's Bar & Burger- My mom follows this Buffalo youtuber and she had went there with her 12+ kids and mom wanted to go to- so we did! It was expensive for what we got... But the water? Omg it was delicious... Knowing I had to go back to my water back home while it comes from the lake it still tastes like gravel... yeah was unpleasant so I drank it to death ebhbhhea-

--*this is inserted later cause I just thought of it*--

But I nearly forgot about you don't know you're next to rockfeller center only know it because of F.A.O Scwartz (the center looks like a prison & bank tbh)- and we got to see the skating rink (well where it would be) but the fountain was beautiful- we went past fox news and nbc- and the tonight show (crazy how it's all packed in there) and threw a wish (a penny) into a huge fountain. before getting water at a food truck and then see below

---

Then before we saw the boyz my dad and I had to walk to the atm- it was like 43rd street I think- it was in hotel... and when I tell you this reeked money I would never be able to spend... Oh my god- it was black marble everywhere you looked- but the hotel people were so nice! But on the way is where I would see all these pigeons come down and there were so many and I loved them each- but the brown and white ones were my favorites... Anyways- we came back and got ice cream from a frostee's truck- sth my mom grew up doing. Cause I guess in NY that's their icecream people? Idk... It was okay. But then I got to go over and get merch with mom and then we both had went and seen the boyz~ (Again it was unforgettable I still am having a hard time understanding that it was over a week ago...). Anyways we went back home on the Queensboro bridge. And I was so tired but I wanted to share with my one friend of what I saw (my phone fucking sucked so bad- and the car not having the right usbs meant that I couldn't charge it and talk to people & take photos... It was the worst but-). falling asleep after that was crazy.

My mom got me up the next morning and was like "Let's sit on the balcony." And I never really knew that I was missing that in my life? It was always my dream to have one. And another thing was knowing I was missing the city life. My mom's family is from major cities. I've never really felt like I've fit in anywhere? I've always felt vv ?? in my small town. And finally enjoying all of that finally made it click. Like I was finally where I was meant to be. Having to leave made me a mess. Anyways....

I bought tickets to the Brooklyn Museum for one reason- and I had known about this before the exhibit even opened. It was Paul McCartney 1934-1964 Eyes of the Storm photos exhibit. What was sweet was you could get in through general admission. Instead of paying another 10 on top to go to a ticketed exhibit. There was this sweet little girl who asked the people in front of when we were waiting for the elevator (that had no rails I have a slight fear of elevators this made it so scary). She asked, "Wher'u going?" "The 5th floor" and it was so cute- I love how adults talk to kids so sweetly... It heals my inner child sm. And she had a little conversation with us all while her dad watched before he grabbed her hand and led her away so everyone could get on and whatnot. Georgie & his many hats

Now if you know I am a big lover of George... that's my man 😌🤭 and he had such cute photos. It was so cool how it went from black and white to when they made it in Miami it turned colorful cause he had a kodak? (idk a color camera) finally- and it was so cool. But one of my favorite photos is the police officer with a gun. Because you and I prolly wouldn't have thought of that being odd. But when you put into perspective that it is only our officers that have em... And these four british boys were just "??!?!?!" seeing an officer with a gun for the first time and idk it puts such a cool perspective on it for me. I had been looking forward to seeing that photo the most tbh. But seriously it was such a beautiful exhibit and we had walked through two other exhibits the asian print maker one (oh my god it was so colorful and beautiful... I loved that sm) there was the painting of george washington that his wife had saved in the white house. It was okay. The american art didn't feel nearly as cool as Paul's or the Utagawa *I just found out since someone made me rush thru it... 😒* which is actually Japanese art come to find out- sorry I'd correct it- but this is literally when I found out. Anyways my mom's man is Paul- so seeing these photos for her was so much fun she loved it sm! (look how pretty my goodness)

Then I didn't realize it was the day for the 1964 things until I went to journal about it- because the next place we went to was in Queens (specifically Corona park). Both of my parents had gone to the 1964 world's fair when they were kids- and it's sth I kind of wanted to see to cause it fascinated me. But seriously almost all of it's gone... They're saying they're going to reconstruct the Pavillion and the Sky (thingies) but I sadly doubt they'll do it... It's mainly been the people- Nyc just doesn't care sadly. But "The Rocket Thrower" statue was the coolest imo- But "The Unisphere" was vv cool too- the water wasn't on and I didn't expect it to be- But there was granite pavement in front of it that was just vv cool it told the history of the place with picture inscriptions. And we saw the two buildings in disrepair- which were just beautiful if they would ever be rebuilt, I think it would be amazing. And then we saw the time capsule and the old water fountains. Along with "Freedom of Human Spirit" statue there is one statute we did end up missing. But honestly idc- but then we ran into retired central park animal statues that kids used to play on- (imo if they really don't want kids on them- they shouldn't put them in a park btw).

Then we got home and mom and I enjoyed the balcony talking about the boyz and all of nyc and how we would both miss it. Sadly the other person we went on the trip on was soooo excited to go back. (ofc 😒). And then there was a kpop channel and I was able to watch Youngji before the show ended! And then I turned on Men In Black III (My personal favorite). Mom got up again and we had gone out on the balcony until she was tired. She missed the city life... And imo she should be back at least in Cleveland. I've always wanted to live there but after that trip ik where I dream of living.

Oh- I forgot to mention in between we did eat at a place called Tom's Dinner- and I don't like chicken- but I gave it a try... and when I say that chicken died for a good reason it was delicious- I had a hot chocolate with chicken caesar salad it was divine. Mom had a cherry lemonade- and it was delicious too and she made me try her bagel and god... I'm so going to Wegman's near me someday to get their bagels... It's the closest I'll get to nyc bagels for a while...

Then we went past Grand Central Station and that looked vv bank like building it was crazy. I'm a big Ramones fan so I did have to see 53rd & 3rd knowing this where the song was from. And seeing it was so cool to me!

And then we were on the road home... It cost toll wise altogether 18.25 which imo to go there and back isn't bad. And we had stopped in Jersey to get dinner- Cutest name ever "Time to eat diner" I loved it- both diners were so classy. (We have nothing like that back home even tho it's a small town you'd think we would- we don't). And it was so fun the hustle and bustle and it was delicious- I got a caramel iced coffee- sth I hadn't had since I was a high schooler- And it was delicious! I had a bagel with cream cheese, whipped butter, one side grape & one side strawberry jelly. It was so delightful. It only took 12 hrs to go back but I was a mess.

Changmin had posted his post of missing New York (with Vienna) broke my heart to pieces why? Because I had finally found my Vienna. And leaving it- and him pairing that song with it- had me in pieces. I just wanted to curl up and bawl.

I really could talk about those emotions but that's something I'll see my journal for. I hope to visit my "Vienna" lots of times, and if not stay there for the rest of my life. Ik it's expensive but it's where I finally felt comfortable.

It's also crazy to watch tiktoks/videos from nyc and go "I know where that is" now- but it makes me so happy. I can't wait for the day I'll get to go back.

Anyways special mention to these photos: Green Taxi & Yellow Taxi

Then ofc Younghoon pc with the Queensboro bridge & the buildings on long island (I have so many more photos tbh but I choose some of my faves)

(I didn't get to say this before- but this part really comforted me- and it seems silly- but it did... I didn't want to reply to it until I was better. But thank you. Anyways let me get into what you said! It was wonderful that you shared a little bit- it made me feel better about me missing pigeons tbh. Seatle sounds so cool and so does Kanas City even tho it's not huge in comparison to Seatle it does sound fun to visit! Like the Canadian Geese have absolute fits you get close or the Seagulls- and the pigeons you're so right- they're so chill- and I loved that sm- ik it's part of their domestication but like it was just so interesting to see!! OOOOOOHHH THAT SOUNDS SO CUTE!!! That was your little buddy!! I'm so glad you got to laugh and have fun with the little guy- that sounds so fun! That's so cute about your big city pigeons- god I love big city pigeons!! They're so funny- I'm glad you got to experience them too! To more pigeon experiences!! 🤭🥰💖)

[howlettloki]

Less smut, more meaningful words with such eloquence, well executed plot, characterizations and world building.

A Loki (Marvel)/Reader Fic Recommendation

If you’re like me, who loves to read longer fics then this blog post is for you. This list features beautiful books I have read featuring Loki and the reader for the past 5 years. This is long overdue I have been planning to do this for a while now. I’ll do my best to share all of them in one post (might probably edit this once I remember more). One thing, I really love when an author finds a way to not use Y/N. Enjoy the list!

Completed Fics

Frostbite by Maiden_of_Asgard

Synopsis:

Iceland is nice - sure, you probably should’ve picked a time of year when the weather was a little warmer, but it isn’t too bad, and at least you’re away from your desk job, right? It’s a pretty big adventure.

You’ve always said that you wanted more adventure in your life.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This one you’ve probably read, if not go check it out. It’s one of the best out there. I mean, need I say more?

The Proposal by BirdsofHermes

Synopsis:

An AU gender-reversal of the 2009 romantic comedy The Proposal. You work for Loki Laufeyson at Asgard International Publishing. He accidentally lets his work Visa expire and is about to be deported back to England, so he blurts out that he's marrying you. Now you have to convince an immigration inspector as well as your own family that you're in love with Loki or he gets deported for life and you face five years jail time.

Review:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have read this more than one can count fingers in their hands.

Broken Crown by Michelleleahhh

Synopsis:

Your betrothal to Thor was convenient - brokered as an alliance between two powerful families.

Your marriage to Loki... is unimaginable.

Review:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Please proceed with caution and read the tags. When I read this the first time, I was new to this world but I remembered enjoying reading this piece. I just recently re-read this, and I just found some minor stuff I didn’t really enjoy. Overall the story and the plot got me hooked however, there’s just few chapters that I feel could’ve been explored more and executed better. Still, I enjoyed reading this the second time around.

Fǫruneyti by Evaldrynn

Synopsis:

A story in which a herbalist makes a decision that will drastically change her life, and in which a prince begins to realise that there might still be hope for him yet. A tale of danger, adventure, friendship - and, ultimately, love. 

Review:

⭐️⭐️⭐️✨

This one I stopped reading at 70%, I have certain icks when it comes to reading and once I reach that ick jar I’m done. It was still beautifully written, got me hooked and all, loved the progress. What can I say, I love slow burns.

The Devil Inside by Ursus_minor

Synopsis:

You're a free lance artist and just running short of rent money for the month, so when your good buddy Thor offers you a one-off job at his sister's company, you take it - even though helping his little brother out with some paperwork sounds awfully tedious

I always wondered what Loki, Hela and Thor would do if they were 'mere mortals'

Review:

⭐️⭐️⭐️✨

It’s deleted but I was lucky enough to have read this way back 2020. It was one of my favorite back then, because it was hard to find a long fic where Loki is not the God of Mischief but just a mere mortal living amongst us. I honestly forgot most about this story, I only remember bits and pieces, you’re Thor’s best friend and he helped you gain money by working under Loki, like the synopsis said.

A Study In Suit by lowkeyorloki

Synopsis:

You've worked too damn hard to get into Professor Laufeyson's course, and you're not about to let your pesky attraction to him get in the way. Your Professor, however, has other plans.

Review:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Professor Loki. That’s it.

From the Void, With Love by pilotisms

Synopsis:

Torn from time, you have to navigate the TVA with the one person who singlehandedly tried to conquer NYC. Turns out you & him have a future-past. Time is weird.

Review:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This is one of the best I’ve read, this is my second to The Proposal. I fucking love this you have no idea. Wished there was a longer sequel though.

Litklœði by GoldTrimmedSpectacles

Synopsis:

“And the sire promised that he would spend the rest of his days searching for the cure of the flower disease which took his friend. And he did find this cure, but not without a cost,” Frigga explained and stroked Loki’s head as the illusions vanished. “But now, when one is fraught with flowers in their chest, a völva can remove these flowers with seiðr – saving the victim’s life and removing the vines from their lungs.”

The Allmother paused and looked at your small, childish face. Her smile was kind and full, but her eyes lay empty and sad. The knowledge of yet to come lay heavy on her features.

However, be warned my child, that with the removal of lung flowers the feelings of unrequited love will be removed too. As will any remaining trace of friendship. So be careful how you give your heart, my dear. You may never know what you could lose.

Review:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Hanahaki Disease AU? Anyone? This one is from my previous blog post. Pure feelings. Loved young loki and young reader.

In Progress or Abandoned Gems

Mea Culpa by OlympianWine

Synopsis:

Six years ago yours and Loki's relationship came to an abrupt and messy end, leaving resentment and hurt in its wake. Now you haven't heard a whisper of him in years, until he turns up at his brother's wedding, seemingly changed for the better, and you're thrust into facing both him and the memories you had buried. But a dangerous figure from Loki's past looms overhead, and Thanos is determined to hunt Loki down and make him pay for betraying him.

Review:

💔💔💔💔💔

I mean based on the synopsis who wouldn’t want to read that? Last update was last year, here’s to hoping it’ll update more or I’m gonna have to kms.

Anagapesis by OlympianWine

Synopsis:

You have a perfect life; a loving husband, a beautiful baby. But when it all comes crashing down, you must put survival ahead of sentiment and turn to a darker prince - your husband's brother. Loki is cruel and cold, and he hates you with a burning passion. Or so you think.

Review:

💔💔💔💔

Just when you think you’re falling, he makes you remember what type of person he is. I feel for Loki, but he’s just cruel man. I wish there was more so I could understand him a bit more.

Seiðmaðr by GoldTrimmedSpectacles

Synopsis:

Amidst the fallen brethren of the Vanaheimr war against Muspelheim, the dark prince of Asgard finds himself lost and riddled with amnesia. His words are barbed, his tongue is gilded and his eyes are sharp. He has no recollection of his name or family, but he soon comes to realise that perhaps it is best for the past to be shadowed by the future, and that life as a beloved commoner is better than life as a miserable prince.

Review:

💔💔💔💔💔

I’m a sucker for fantasy and a well executed world building. I love how I’m instantly transported into the world created by the author and I feel alive inside. I wish there was a way to find out what happens next. I just love this so much I wish there was more.

[ghosttalksalot]

Spidery!Peter Spideypool Fics

Let's do this! I have not read all of these. The ones I have not read have been recommended by those mentioned below + anonymous others. Anything that is explicit will be below the line, otherwise in no particular order. These will be from ao3. Assume completed unless otherwise stated. No dead dove or similar, content warnings prior to each summary. I will continue to add if anyone sends more! List below the break, and this is a long one.

You're gonna wanna be my bestfriend, baby by Firefly_ika

Teen&up. 11,843 words. "Peter’s given up caring about his identity around Wade. They're friends, proper friends, not just the kind of we-trade-banter-and-you've-saved-my-ass-a-few-times allies you tend to make in the vigilante gig. He hasn't exactly taken the mask off yet, but he's given more than enough information for Deadpool to track him down. The way he's going, it's like he'll reveal his whole life before, you know, actually revealing." (or) "Five things Peter exposes about himself, and the one that Wade figures out on his own."

Hunger Pains by X_Gon_Give_It

Teen&up. 931 words. Warning for graphic depictions of violence. "Why does he do this to himself? An angry thought hisses in Wade’s brain. Why does he have to make it so damn hard every time? But the anger is quick. Like a snap, there and then gone. Of course, this is hard on him. It’s easy to see the self hatred when he eats. The disgust at his own desperation. Now that he’s gotten to know Peter, and his sensibilities, it makes sense that this would be so difficult."

My Boyfriend's a Murder Bot by Fredegund

Mature. 55,912 words. Content warning, see tags. "Wade Winston Wilson is ugly. His skin's inside out. It ripples and moves every second of every day, at constant war with the cancer. Vanessa put on a brave face for him when she first saw the changes, but it turns out even she can't stomach the sight for long. He's ugly and alone and nothing will ever be good in life again - If only that were his only problem. But Weapon X is at it again, under crisp new management, turning orphans into super slaves and bringing out the big guns to make sure nobody interferes this go around (namely one Pool comma Dead). So now, not only is Wade alone and ugly forever, but he's got a bit of a pest problem in the form of a black-clad murder-happy man spider with a collar around his neck and an unhealthy obsession with tying Deadpool up. So maybe it's not all bad…"

because i have been lonely by QQI25

Teen&up. 8,591 words. See tag: basically Pete's a spider turned human. "As an immortal person, Wade has never really tried to make friends, save for a giant spider. But when an amulet turns the spider into a person, he has to learn how to live with another person in his life again."

When Instincts Take Over by TheStrange_One

Not rated, but no explicit content. 4,577 words. Not explicitly spideypool, but Peter & Wade nonetheless. "Wade had always had a—fascination, for lack of a better term, with NYC’s wall crawling web-themed hero. Just a little bit. Not a lot. He didn’t collect information of every Spider-Man sighting, or anything (He totally did.) So when Spider-Man started acting strangely, it was really no wonder that Wade noticed first. Of course, it didn’t hurt when he saw the behavior firsthand. Spidey webbing muggers, would-be rapists, and those who thought a little B&E was the best way to begin a day in a thick cocoon wasn’t unusual. However, then whirling and hissing—honest-to-God hissing—was."

Dark Horizons by beforethemoon

Teen&up. 11,215 words. Warning for graphic depictions of violence. Content warning, see tags. "“You—you’re the Spider-Man.” From beneath the mask, a slow smile crept across Peter’s face. Gregory Smith—an ordinary name for a man who wasn’t so ordinary—writhed in his grip. It was so easy to subdue the man; with his superstrength, Peter just had to apply the slightest pressure on good ol’ Greg’s neck and the man was blissfully silent. He liked hearing that line, though: you’re the Spider-Man. The Webslinger. Or, if you were J. Jonah Jameson, the Wall-Crawling Menace. So many names, but all were said with the tinge of fear that Peter was addicted to. They always managed to choke out the words, and he always made sure those were their last."

Better than Beyond Beef by BunsofHoney

Teen&up. 16,313 words. **See tag: Riding the literal bleeding edge of smut. Has a sequel. "Wade took in Spidey’s inhuman appearance. "You look about ready to go hunting." "I… get like this sometimes, when I'm in a lot of pain, or fear, or angry I think. Right now I…I just need a really rare steak, that's all." - When a sudden explosion leaves them both badly injured, Wade discovers that Spider-Man's mutation can make him a little...feral. Wade makes an offer to help Spidey heal faster and satiate his craving. What's a little cannibalism between friends?"

----- fics below this line contain explicit content -----

Songs for the Zombie Apocalypse, a 5-part series by zerospoons_onlyknives (oprime)

First work is Teen&up. Second third, and fourth works are Mature, with sexual content. Fifth work is explicit. 50,000 total words. Zombie apocalypse au, they're not superheroes. Warning for graphic depictions of violence. "Peter Parker and Wade Wilson navigate zombies, religious extremists, and each other as they try to survive the apocalypse. What started as a kidnapping morphs into a weird bond between the two but sometimes it feels like only one of them can survive."

I'm Something of a Scientist Myself by fancastical

Explicit. 11,422 words. Content warning, read tags. "Wade decides to start dousing himself in various synthetic spider sex pheromones before meeting up with Spidey, because why wouldn't he? They have some… interesting results. Wade feels downright scientific."

Upside Down by TheOrangeWritingRanger

Explicit. 56,271 words. Warning for graphic depictions of violence. Content warning for an especially spidery Peter. "Wade Wilson is as happy as a chipmunk in a peanut factory, Avenging by day as Deadpool, playing videogames and eating countless tacos by night. But something is missing from his life, or so say the ever present voices in his head. In the course of investigating several gruesome deaths with his teammates Hawkeye and Black Widow, they discover that something large and arachnoidian is terrorising New York. 'Pool follows some clues, and that cute brunet guy who keeps turning up, and finds himself at the spinneret ends of the elusive spider monster. But is he actually a monster, or is there more to his story?"

Babe Wake Up, It's Pumpkin Spice Season by X_Gon_Give_It

Explicit. 7,460 words. "He glances over the thick black lettering above the picture (SPIDER-MAN AND DEADPOOL: PARTNERS?) and focuses solely on Deadpool. The merc has two guns out in an exchange of bullets with a robber inside a bank. This wasn’t long ago. A week at most. Each shot had been calculated, the bullets never missing their mark, as the smell of smoke and gunpowder drifted  in the air, heavy enough to choke on. Peter roamed over the display of muscles covered by a body suit of spandex and leather. For someone who rarely exposed their skin, Deadpool’s suit had a way of accenting every inch of his body. His steady posture didn’t help. Or those rolling shoulders. His large hands. Again, the feeling stirs in Peter’s gut, more insistently. Urging."

Wade Wilson's Guide to Studying Your Spider by X_Gon_Give_It

Explicit. 114,210 words. Warning for graphic depictions of violence. Content warning, read tags. "After months of working with Spider-Man, Wade Wilson realizes there are a lot more to his hero's powers than meets the eye..." (AKA) "The one where Wade notices that Spider-Man has been acting weirder and weirder, and the more he looks into it, the more he realizes that his not-so-normal partner in crime(fighting) is a lot stranger than he thought."

Hurting, Loving by bubblebeezey

Explicit. 12,454 words. Warning for graphic depictions of violence. Incomplete, last updated in June 2024. "Peter Parker finds himself deathly injured alone in his apartment, and in a panic, calls Wade Wilson. Peter's identity gets revealed under some not-so-nice circumstances, but everything is worth it in the end. Hurt and comfort ensues. (And romance, of course)."

you're goodness; i'm what's in between by strawberxi (Tupipsie)

Explicit. 7,416 words. "“I love you, Wade,” Peter stated, said so casually that one might have assumed they were dating. He said them like they were fact– and Peter supposed they were, if he was making proper sense of his feelings. Wade just stilled. Peter didn't move, and his heart sunk deep into his stomach. Even then he couldn't take the words back, and he didn't want to. - a spideypool getting together fic"

Soup and steam - an earthquake waiting to happen by pandafish

Explicit. 9,219 words. "The worst thing about having the flu when you were essentially half spider was that the fever became like ten times worse. No, scratch that. The worst thing was looking out your window and seeing Deadpool sitting there like an oversized cat, eagerly asking if Peter could come out and play, and wanting nothing but to beg him to come inside and care for his sick friend-lover-vigilante partner. But how could Peter do that when they were supposed to be simply fucking for stress relief, not actually stick around for the truly intimate parts?"

Good Enough (To Be Good To Yourself) by jackmischief

Explicit. 221,082 words. Content warning, read tags and chapter notes. "Peter meets Deadpool when he’s in his civvies, and has the good fortune of remaining unrecognized. But with a friend like Deadpool — and his interesting habit of trying to feed his good buddy Spider-Man — he finds it hard to be too worried. When Deadpool winds up coincidentally finding Peter a second and third time, the merc gets attached to the cute brunet. Meanwhile, Spider-Man and Deadpool are a crime fighting duo tackling strange activity on the docks with suspicious ties to an all too familiar organization. A fluffy, angsty, eventually smutty Spideypool romp with an identity reveal endgame and regular updates on Mondays and Fridays. Rating and tags reflect entire fic. Smut starts at chapter 9."

Spider2703 by kingdomclouds

Explicit. 31,166 words. Warning for graphic depictions of violence. Content warning for brainwashed/tortured Peter. There is a sequel. ""When did they get you?" "I was- Peter Parker was 16 when he went missing. Spider turned 24 when he was born." The words come out robotic, practice making the sentence flow quickly and easily. Wade's hand tightens on his neck before it loosens and let's go completely. "So your name is Peter?" Spider shakes his head harshly and pretends his eyes aren't watering- soldiers don't cry. Wade keeps his grip tight on his jaw, ignoring the mess of venom getting all over his palms. "My name is Spider, serial number 2703." "They've really got you brainwashed, haven't they?" "I'm not brainwashed. Spider is my name. Peter Parker doesn't exist." Spider looks away from Wade's gaze- he can't help it. Those eyes can see right through him. --- Or; Peter was apart of the Weapon X program, like Wade- except he never left."

Medium Rare by MargaretKire

Explicit. 24,562 words. Vampire au. Content warning for everything (spidery) vampirism entails. "Peter just can't get full lately. He eats and eats, but he's constantly exhausted and hungry. Wade realizes what's going on before Peter does. And becomes obsessed with getting Peter what he needs- living cells in the form of blood and...other things."

So No One Told You Life Was Gonna Be This Way by Jenetica

Explicit. 32,894 words. Content warning, see tags and chapter descriptions. "Peter Parker's life doesn't need an influx of new, distinctly spidery Spider-Man powers. He would gladly spend the rest of his days not creating tiny spiders from nowhere, for example. Like, in a, "yes please, I'll take two orders of the 'no spider-parenthood lifestyle,' hold the whip" kind of way. And that's only the start of how certifiably nuts his life has gotten lately. But... okay, the spiders are pretty cute. And the other powers, well, aren't horrible. He supposes. And if Deadpool seems to think his new spidery skills are great and interesting and hot (which is weird, but not as objectionable as Peter would expect), that's... that's not so horrible, either. Alternatively: Peter's powers are a joke, he's broke, and his love life... isn't all that DOA."

Tiny Entanglements by MargaretKire

Explicit. 6,875 words. Content warning, see tags. More Spiders-Man then Spider-Man. "Spider-Man has some hidden desires. So does Deadpool. Things get complicated when Morbius claims to have a cure for Peter’s ‘impure’ DNA. Or: Three thousand spiders in a suit fall in love with Wade Wilson. Featuring: Spider interludes"

Weaver of Silk and Dreams by a_stands_for

Mature with explicit chapter. 73,831 words. More ships with Peter than spideypool, see tags. "Some alternate realities are unrecognizable, and some are indistinguishable. This one lies somewhere in between. Peter Parker's life was derailed when he mutated into a strange human/spider hybrid, and he knows that's not the way things went down for him in other realities. Still, he's determined to forge a new path and make the best of it. Sometimes "the friends we made along the way" really is the greatest treasure anyone could ask for."

Strange by smellslikecitrus

Mature with explicit chapter. 34,900 words. Fairy au. "Peter was just trying his best, as a spider fairy would do. Wade stole Ant-Man's suit during a week-long mission in Massachusetts, deciding to see just how big the forest looks at ground height. Wade accidentally discovers fae creatures in said forest. Cue the title."

He is Soundless From Afar. by elastic honey (infernoconcealed)

Explicit. 15,961 words. Content warning, see tags. "Three part story. 100% based on teamup comics. Every time Deadpools wants to kiss him, Peter's spideysense starts going off. He should hate Wade for killing him. He should swing away and never see him again after what he did. Instead, he starts getting drunk off the feeling."

atlas by a_cry_in_the_wilderness

Explicit. 3,143 words. Warning for graphic depictions of violence. Content warning, see tags. "The first time that Wade tells Spider-man that he’s beautiful, the hero laughs in a way that makes Wade realize that there’s a wound that he’s accidentally brushed against. It’s too late to stop the bleeding, but he tries to compress it anyway. Peter Parker alludes to not looking how Wade expects underneath the mask leading Wade down a spiral reflecting on his own insecurities and expectations."

Cicatrices by WaterMe

Explicit. 9,036 words. Warning for graphic depictions of violence. Content warning, see tags. "Spider-Man is falling apart. Deadpool knows how to put a broken thing back together. (also they fuck a lot)"

hit me with your kill shot, baby by Anonymous

Explicit. 6,613 words. Summary is a mature excerpt. See notes: "Peter going feral with spidey traits during sex."

-----

That's the list... for now. Give me a good ol' bonk if I missed info or cws on any of em, and feel free to give me more to add! Enjoy. Thank you to @disconnected-penguin and @enby-spite for your help!

[tmntxthings]

Ok so, hi! I hope you're doing well! I really really like your blog and was wondering if you're still taking requests? If your not thats completely fine.

but If you are could you please please do a the rise boys with a reader who's like their little sister? i cannot for the lofe of me find very many of these, and I adore them.

Your writting is AMAZING btw! Make sure to eat food, drink water, and get some sleep! <3

Big Brothers

author’s notes: :D am i doing requests still? …yes?! it may not seem like it but I look over them all… just lacking in the motivation department rn, esp with this semester, but booyakasha we ball xD thanks for requesting <3 author's note 2.0: I wrote Raph's part in JANUARY and i finally finally finally had the will power to finish Mikey's tonight, the semester is over yayyyyyyy!! Hopefully my motivation will rejuvenate and I'll be writing way more consistently... hopefully lollll hope you enjoy~~

warnings: none to note, unedited, mayhaps a curse word ?

—————————————————————————

Raph

Where do I begin? He’s always the type to protect those around him. It doesn’t matter whether you’re just a regular citizen or someone he knows and loves, this turtle will protect all! He’s got a big heart.

Much like April you stumbled into the boys life at an early age. Yet unlike her, you were younger than the entire group. As a tot, Raph made sure you were never left behind, hiking you up on his shoulders along with Mikey.

Both of you giggling about the height and saying “look look I’m flyingggg!!” making superhero poses, just the works. Standard oldest brother material. He was still a kid too so there were some accidents, of course you fell off once or twice.

But he was quick to distract you from any boo-boo’s, swooping you back into his arms and snuggling his head close profusely apologizing for getting a little too rowdy. “Don’t cry!! Look Raph’s gotcha! All safe and sound!”

“Does it hurt bad? Let’s go get patched up by Lee hmmm? Raph bet’s he has the prettiest bandaids for you!”

If the group is playing a competitive game, like tag or hide & seek, Raph’s making sure you’re having a fun time. Not feeling left out or being picked on too much. In tag he may run a little slower so you are able to catch him, he would happily be ‘it’ a thousand times if it meant you beamed that mischievous smile. “Tag Raphie!!! Hehehe”

In hide & seek he’ll hide with you or better yet find you the best spots to hide. “Okay Raph’s going hide now too, goodluck and don’t make any noise!!”

As the group grows from tots to teens and the world isn’t as sparkly, and dangers lurk every corner Raph becomes more concerned with your safety. Though there’s not much he can do while your at school, any time you hang out with the bros other than the lab he’s always got a watchful eye.

“Ohhhhh guys look at this!!” Window shopping being one of your favorite past times as they walk the streets of NYC. Raph can’t help but call out for you to “Wait!” or “Watch out!” Something about those sidewalks cracks that always trip you up. And don’t even get Raph started on how many times you’ve bounded ahead of the group only to get lost.

“C’mere you!” Raph’s pulling you close and giving you a noogie. Definitely not caring as you screech about your hair. “What’d I tell ya about running off??” He continues messing with you until you either slip out of his grip or call out mercy. “You had me worried!” He breathed out with a stern look. “Awww Raphie I’m not little anymore!” You teased, but to him you’d always be his little sister. Just like Mikey would never escape being the little brother.

Leo

Oh my lord the trouble you two get into. Pranks? Yeah. Lots of them. The two of you are menaces together, and unlike Leo, you get off the hook with batting your sweet innocent eyelashes. “Whaaaaa Leo told me to!!” And he’d scoff, yelling out traitor as you stuck your tongue when Raph’s back was turned.

Despite always slipping away from punishment, Leo didn’t mind you throwing him under the bus. In fact he was quite impressed with your tactics. One of these days he’d catch you on video being a brat behind Raph’s back! So count your days because they were numbered.

While Leo is down for throwing caution and safety in the wind, if things get serious.. let’s say someone threatening you? Whoever’s spouting such nonsense better run for the hills. He doesn’t deal kindly with those who hurt his family. Especially his little prankster of a sister. “Run that by me again? You said what about my sister??” Fun, silly, charismatic Leo is gone! He’d have a glint in his eyes that scream ‘you’ll pay for that.’

What else?! Though he claims he’s nothing like Raph in regards to being wrapped around your pinky finger, he totally is. “Hey Lee can you portal me to school?? I don’t feel like walking!” He’d complain saying how you’re using his rad powers for such a lazy reason (even though he’s guilty of such a thing) but after he gives you an earful of complaints he’s opening up a portal.

Don’t think he won’t waltz in right after you. Much like those older siblings who love to embarrass their little siblings. Calling after you to “Have a greaaaaaaat day!! Big brother wuvs youuuuuuu!!” And it’s similar if he’s picking you up from school. He’ll portal in with a speaker and blare music, mostly Nicki Minaj.

Donnie

Those little puppy dog eyes you can pull off with Raph have no influence when it comes to Donnie, he has footage of your two-faced nature, having big crocodile tears at one moment and an evil grin at the next, unlike Leo who has never been able to successfully capture you in the act, Donnie has and he lords it over you as blackmail for most things, like a big brother usually does

He only brings it out when absolutely necessary, mainly whenever the two of you are in a back and forth banter that has gone too far, "Oh yeah? I seem to recall a certain purple turtle reading some very interesting fanfiction with Atomic Lass last night!" You puff up satisfied when Donnie gasps at such a true accusation, the utter betrayal! "C'mon guys don't start fighting" Raph will speak up as Donnie whips out his phone going for his passcoded camera roll.

"Oh Raphala I have something to show you!" Donnie will sing as he turns the phone over to reveal the beginning of a video of you and its one that has you immediately screeching. Jumping up from your spot to run and try and tackle Donnie to the floor, but he expects this as his battleshell takes off into the air, putting himself and his phone out of reach. "Turn it off!!! Stop it Dee!!! I never said what exactly you were reading!!" You plead as he swoops and dodges the pillows and really anything you can get your hands on to throw.

So yes, he has the dirt that you would hate Leo to get his hands on so Donnie and you have a bit of an understanding of one another. Other than that though you can find solace in his lab anytime. He doesn't mind your entry because unlike his brothers you don't start touching or breaking things. You treat his inventions carefully and he has fun explaining to you their potentials.

As tots Donnie was definitely quizzing and spitting out random facts to your malleable brain, a lot of it ended up sticking so you understood him to some degree on an academic level, but most of all he had prepared you for school to which you were forever grateful

Now you may not say so in words but with each passing grade you would go down to the lair and find Donnie specifically to show off your assignments, beaming proudly as he would smile and singing his praises about how well he had taught you. He realized that maybe he had taught you too well since you were a master manipulator when it came to tear ducts but he couldn't help but smile at that, proud to have another evil genius in their midst

Mikey

He knew what it was like to be treated like a baby despite being only a few years younger, so it came as no surprise that he would agree with you whenever you wanted to do something adventurous, something on your own, "Guys, she's old enough to go out to the movies with her friends!" Even if he sort of knew your crush would be going as well, Mikey was not going to be the brother to hold you back from falling in love!

Now heaven forbid that little heart of yours gets stomped on. The person who did so will obviously be on some sort of shit-list by all the turtles, but I think Mikey would be the one who has to be watched out for the most, he destroys people who hurts what he loves, that pizza place episode with the rock band is a prime example! He'll turn savage, lunging for violence, striking to enact karma on those who deserve it the most

Of course he will be the best brother to go to if you want to have some deep emotional talks, Dr. Feelings to the rescue, and though it hurts him to know you've been stabbed in the heart, he will be there through the whole break-up process! Cry session with tubs of ice cream or whatever sweets you desire, Mikey's a great cook so baking isn't that hard for him. He will listen to all the rants and raging that you need to get off your chest, adding in quips when necessary. Then when its time to detox fully, delete pictures, unfollow on all social medias, block their number, get rid of the gifts and physical reminders, he's there with a box, repeating how strong you are and that you don't need them nor these things!

Unlike Leo, if you and Mikey wanted something, a pair of puppy-dog eyes was better than one, even Donnie could not hold out for long if the begging was done by both of you at once, "Donnie c'mon pleaseeee set up the switch! We wanna play Mario Party!" "I thought we were gonna be playing Minecraft-" "You guys its easy you don't need me to set it up." "PLEASEEEEE"

And no doubt Mikey is whipping up your favorites in the kitchen. He loves to hear your heartfelt "thank yous!!!" and "Angieeee it's so tasty! 10 out of 10!!" You know exactly how to curry his favor when you go topside and grab him new ingredients to use. That and shooting compliment after compliment his way. Sometimes he will trust you to stir or cut up veggies when he has too many things going on at once in the kitchen. The vibes are immaculate when you get the aux cord to the speaker in the kitchen, the both of you singing out all kinds of music and going into little dance breaks when a song is just too good to not groove to!

[rxqueenotd]

The Verdict- Chapter Seven

Pairing: Vincent Renzi x OFC

Warnings: mentions of vomiting, mentions of pregnancy, divorce. see prev. tags.

A/N: I am a woman of the people and with the reaction from last chapter, you guys can have this one early. I’ll be in NYC all week, so I’m not sure I’ll have the next chapter written until late next week. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy and I look forward to your reactions! (Someone make new Swann gifs, please, with Vincent’s hair)

Leah's arrival at JFK at noon left her feeling disheveled. Boarding the flight from Paris at around eight PM, she landed at JFK at two PM, with jet lag immediately taking its toll due to the time change. Craving a quick dinner, a speedy shower, and the comfort of a warm bed, Leah knew she had no time to waste as duty called. She promptly arranged for a car to take her to Brooklyn Heights.

Living just a few blocks away, Brooke's apartment was a convenient stop for Leah. With two toddlers and a six-year-old, she understood that asking Brooke to meet her for coffee was out of the question.

“Mommy, Auntie Leah is here!” The front door swung open, hitting the wall with a thud as a snaggle-toothed girl rushed into Leah’s arms. “Hi, sweet girl.” Balancing the girl as she entered, Leah closed the door behind her. Once the girl wriggled free, she beamed up at Leah.

“Aria, don’t wake your brother and sister,” Brooke scolded as she appeared from around the corner. Opening her arms, she warmly embraced Leah, her old friend.

“France suits you,” Brooke remarked, eyeing Leah playfully.

“I brewed the strongest coffee I had, knowing you must be exhausted,” Brooke said, leading Leah into the kitchen and seating her at the bar. “Not just from the time change, but from the hot lawyer you've been hanging around with.”

Leah rolled her eyes. “Kate and her big mouth strike again.”

Accepting the coffee Brooke handed her, Leah leaned back, her chin resting on her hands.

“Tell me all about him. Distract me from this ridiculous divorce,” Brooke said, a twinkle in her eye.

Leah decided to cut to the chase. She briefly recounted the details of the case to Brooke, who seemed disinterested, before delving into her move-in with Vincent and the ensuing events. Speaking about it out loud felt surreal, as if she was observing herself from a distance, noting the absurdity of it all.

"It's... crazy," Leah confessed, taking a sip of her coffee.

"It's real," Brooke reassured her. "The way you light up when you talk about it says it all. You're practically glowing."

Leah buried her face in her hands, letting out an embarrassed groan.

"Are you going back to France?" Brooke inquired.

"Yeah," Leah confirmed. "I only came back to assist you with the custody agreement. I intend to see the case in France through to its conclusion."

"Ever the resilient one," Brooke chuckled. "Stepping out of your comfort zone at last."

"Took you long enough," Brooke teased.

They spent the following hour poring over Brooke's divorce settlement and custody arrangements, discussing her entitlements following the dissolution of her marriage and what she would be left with.

"So, you'll be there tomorrow, right?" Brooke asked anxiously.

"Yes, of course. It's normal for lawyers to attend mediation sessions. I just need to catch a flight at noon," Leah replied.

"My little jet setter," Brooke teased, eliciting a playful response from Leah in the form of her raised middle finger.

________________________________________

After ordering enough takeout for a family of five, Leah indulged in a quick shower, trying to reacclimate to life in her apartment. She felt like a ghost, haunting the familiar spaces she once occupied. The bed felt foreign, lacking the softness and comfort she had grown accustomed to in Vincent's bed. Thoughts of him consumed her, wondering if he was thinking of her too. Memories of their time together played on a loop in her mind, only to bring her back to reality, picturing him peacefully asleep. She questioned her longing for his arms and wondered why she had been denying the truth of her feelings for so long. She welcomed the embrace of sleep gratefully as it finally enveloped her.

At five in the morning, Leah found herself facing the day with weariness in both body and mind as she rose from her bed. Swiftly preparing for the day, she reached for the pre-selected outfit hanging in her closet. Satisfied with how she looked in the high-waisted slacks and neatly-pressed silk shirt, she effortlessly slipped into her red bottoms. Fashion had taken a backseat during the intense involvement in Sandra's case in France, but then, as she admired her reflection, she felt a sense of familiarity wash over her, reconnecting with her old self after a long time.

Stopping at a midtown coffee shop just before seven, Leah placed her usual order and waited patiently as the barista worked their magic. Suddenly, a wave of nausea swept over her, causing her to break out in a cold sweat. Her palms turned clammy, and she felt the color drain from her face as a tingling sensation spread. Pushing through the crowd of waiting patrons, she hurried to the bathroom, slamming the door shut just in time to drop to her knees and empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet. After the ordeal passed, she rose unsteadily to her feet, wiping a cold paper towel across her neck to soothe herself. Her complexion was devoid of any color, while the tips of her ears blazed a scarlet red, a stark contrast to her drained face. Shaking off the episode, she emerged from the bathroom with a facade of composure, determined to carry on as if nothing had occurred. "Out of sight, out of mind," she reminded herself as she grabbed her order and briskly made her way towards the meeting place a few blocks away.

"You don’t look so good," Brooke observed as Leah joined her in the lobby.

"I had bad takeout last night," Leah explained, falling into step with Brooke as they entered the elevator.

"Was it Ming’s?" Brooke inquired, sharing her own unfortunate experience, "They nearly killed me with the worst food poisoning last year."

Leah shook her head in response, and Brooke fell silent. As the elevator doors slid open, they were greeted by an army of lawyers and Brooke's soon-to-be ex-husband, the epitome of an asshole. Leah couldn't help but wish she had managed to hold in the urge to vomit a little longer, just so she could unleash it on the whole group.

_______________________________________

As Leah swiftly tidied her apartment, preparing it for her return, she called for a car to take her to the airport. During the journey, her thoughts raced. Brooke's shattered marriage, torn apart by an unfaithful spouse, and the collateral damage inflicted upon her children, weighed heavily on Leah's mind. She pondered the cruel twist of fate where love, once a beacon of hope and joy, could spiral into darkness.

Vincent also occupied her thoughts, a figure of quiet strength and unwavering kindness. His gentle demeanor nurtured the connection between them with each touch, each embrace, each glance.

She mulled over what she knew of Vincent, what remained a mystery, and the things that seemed to divide them. Yet, in the midst of this contemplation, a spark of hope flickered within her, a tiny flame fueled by the warmth of his presence and the thought of being back in France with him.

Leah hurried towards the designated gate, her mind racing with thoughts. Despite her intelligence, she often found comfort in the saying "ignorance is bliss" and lived by the mantra of "out of sight, out of mind." As she deftly entered the corresponding number/letter combination into the CVS vending machine, she swiftly grabbed her selection and made a beeline for her gate.

Leah suddenly felt a wave of regret wash over her. She regretted moving in with him, getting involved romantically, and losing focus on her original purpose for being in France. The weight of her failures weighed heavily on her as she navigated through the airport and boarded the plane, almost like a zombie in a daze.

In the tiniest lavatory imaginable, Leah's hands shook as she ripped open the box, a sudden turbulence tossing her around like a forewarning as she gazed at the stick in her grasp. Completing her task, a sense of humility washing over her, she hurriedly washed her hands and concealed the evidence within her bag. Back at her seat, she drew a deep breath, preparing herself for what lay ahead. Nestled within her bag was her destiny—a small, blue plus sign, a souvenir from her time in France.

________________________________________

It was nearly seven PM when Leah landed in Paris and headed to Vincent's apartment. She expected him to be alone, so she was surprised when Joan answered the door.

"Bonsoir," Joan greeted Leah, opening the door wider for her to enter with her bag.

"Salut," Leah replied, glancing around the empty kitchen and living room.

"Where's Vincent?" she inquired.

"He's gone with Tim to the country house," Joan explained. "They're clearing trees from the main drive due to bad weather."

"Ah, I see," Leah nodded, walking into the space and heading towards the bedroom to drop off her carry-on and slip out of her shoes.

"You look nice," Joan complimented. "Did you win your case?"

"It was just a mediation," Leah clarified. "Divorce arrangements, custody agreements... all the unpleasant stuff."

"I'm glad I never got married," Joan admitted, motioning for Leah to join her at the table.

Leah poured herself a cup of tea and sat across from Joan.

"I understand," Leah acknowledged.

"My Vincent was always a stoic child. I don't think he ever truly needed a father," Joan reflected. "Maybe he did, but that ship has long sailed."

Leah listened attentively, chiming in, "I witnessed quite a battle during that mediation.”

"And you're scared, aren't you?" Joan asked, smiling knowingly at Leah.

"Of what's happening between you and Vincent," Joan elaborated.

"I'm not sure if it's fear or logic guiding me right now," Leah confessed. "Nothing seems to make sense."

"When I got pregnant with Vincent, by a worthless man, I had nowhere to turn. I was deported from Ireland and returned here. I had my parents, well, my mother briefly, but that's another tale. Despite being conceived in such dire circumstances and raised with all my quirks, he turned out to be a good man. I couldn't be prouder of him," Joan proudly stated.

Leah smiled at Joan's openness, slightly taken aback until Joan added, "But you're not pregnant by a worthless man, are you, Leah?"

Before Leah could respond, Vincent arrived, greeting her warmly as he removed his jacket and boots.

Joan hugged Vincent, giving Leah a knowing look before seeing herself out.

"What was that about?" Vincent asked, brushing Leah's cheek.

"Nothing," Leah replied. "Did you know your mother is psychic?"

Vincent chuckled, "Don't tell her that, or her ego will inflate even more."

_______________________________________

Taglist:

@weakling-grace

@bibistatic

[octuscle]

I need to take a work trip to Germany, Leipzig to be precise. Should be a nice change from my NYC life.

I guess, your suitcase won't make it to Frankfurt... Then I guess I have to organize a replacement. Damn Airlines!

The only thing I can offer you so spontaneously is an old army backpack from GDR stocks, covered with graffiti tags, stickers and patches. Pretty heavy... And maybe not necessarily suitable for your classic suit… So, take your rucksckand head to the airport train station. Your train to Leipzig will depart in 20 minutes.

Shit, Frankfurt airport is bigger then expected. When you arrive, you thaught, that you missed your train. But luckily, the train is delayed by 15 minutes. Enough time, to relaxe. And for a smoke. You search the side pockets of the backpack. No cigarettes. But tobacco, cigarette paper. And weed. Shit, that could have ended badly at customs...

Ahh, smoking this feels great. I really needed to decompress a bit after this whole travel shitshow. Don't take offense, but a middelaged man in a conservative suit and a classic haircut smoking weed with an army backpack on the platform of the airport station looks a bit special... You have to admit that, too, when you see your reflection in the window panes of the high-speed train rushing in.

No one had told you that you had better have made a seat reservation. The train is packed. Getting a seat is out of the question. With a little luck, you will still get a seat in the dining car. You order a beer (what else in Germany) and check the contents of your backpack. On top of it lies a hat. It looks funny, you put it on. Otherwise, the backpack is not necessarily neatly packed. Everything is stuffed in more like this. There's a MacBook... You open it. And of course you know the password. Feels perfectly normal to open it. As normal as your pierced earlobes feel.

It is a low-coding platform open to any Big Data AI application. You scroll through the application. Sure, the prototype of an app for digitizing queues in doctors' offices. You open the library of useer stories and start developing the app further. A few hours ago, you had no idea about software development.

It's 9:00 p.m. when you look out the window. Gotha train station. Wherever that may be. You are looking at your reflection. Let's see what the others think of the fact that you have let the beard grow out...

The train is half empty by now. You have not even noticed how it has emptied. It's still a good hour to Leipzig. You close the computer. That's it for today. You order another beer and the vegan curry. Actually, you're also in desperate need of a joint. But of course you can't smoke anywhere on this train.

But you take tobacco, weed, cigarette paper and your cigarette case, which you inherited from your grandfather. And while you're waiting for the food, you roll a few joints on reserve. It will be after 11:00 p.m. by the time you arrive at your shared apartment. But you assume that you will sit together until 01:00 or 02:00. Your roommates are all rather night owls....

You don't notice that you're wearing high-laced DocMarten's boots instead of welted penny loafers as you step off the train. You also don't notice that your hair has grown considerably longer and falls tousled under your hat into your forehead... You pause for a moment as you see the tattoos on the back of your hand as you light up a joint to tide you over until the bus leaves. And after asking the bus driver for a ticket to Connewitz, you wonder if you actually just spoke German with quite an American accent.

The elevator in your house is of course defective again. Old building from 1873, last renovated in 1980 or so. That was long before the fall of the Wall in the GDR. But the rent is cheap. And the atmosphere is energetic and creative. When you met Kevin, Lukas and Emma at university five years ago, you were immediately on the same wavelength. Even though you didn't speak a word of German back then. You would never have thought that a semester as an exchange student would turn into a lasting collaboration. The fact that you found an apartment together where you could work on your startup at the same time was a real stroke of luck.

Upstairs in the apartment, Kevin already opens the door for you. As if he had been waiting for you.

„Sieht heute gut aus”, you say with your strange American accent.

Kevin hugs you and answers „Dude, it's good to have you back! We have missed you! Tell me, do you have new tattoos? Looks hot! And did you bring weed from Amsterdam? Our dealer is on vacation... Shitty situation!“

“Of course, i’d never leave you without”, I say, opening up the cigarette case and offering you one of the hand-rolled contents.

Kevin grins. „What do you say we smoke the first one not at the kitchen table but on your bed? I missed you, stud!“

“I’m so tired after this trip, so the bed sounds just right.”

There is nothing left of your suit right now. Yes, you are still from NYC. But you weren't a lawyer then. You studied computer science. And that was a long time ago. Now you are a Leipziger by heart

You both lie on the bed. You take a deep drag. And blow the smoke into Kevin’s mouth with a deep French kiss. The bulge in your skinny jeans looks painful. “Oh man, Kevin, I need some relief!” you growl.

It doesn't take long and we both have the tank tops off. You discover Kevins new nipple piercings. And can't stop playing with them. And Kevins bulge starts to hurt too.

“Man, let me provide some relief”, he says. And open your jeans. Your boner jumps out of your boxers like a jack-in-the-box.

Those new piercings… You just can’t help yourself… You’ve gotta feel them in my mouth! “Are they sensitive? Does it still hurt?” Kevin starts breathing more heavily. “What are you waiting for you prude Yank! They've been waiting for you for two weeks now!” You take a deep drag and blow the smoke over Kevins chest, which you caress with your tongue. Kevin moans “Fuck! You're doing so well! Sure it hurts. It's supposed to. You make me so fucking horny with your tongue! I love your tunnels on the earlobes!. I can not stop playing with them with my tongue.”

Dude, your dick is producing precum like a broken faucet. Kevin starts to massage it into your dick! You take one last drag from the joint, push the butt into the ashtray and blow the smoke over Kevins boner.

While Kevin rubs your hard dick, You begin licking his uncut cock. Damn man, these uncut European cocks will never not surprise you! Oh man, you love how it feels on your tongue.

Kevin doesn't stop breathing heavily, but still has to grin. “Fuck, admit it, you certainly didn't just talk about user interfaces with Milan and Sem in Amsterdam. You did practice your tongue game. Fuck, you know how to bring someone to ecstasy with the tip of your tongue!”

Oh man, Kevins precum just takes so good. You can’t get enough of it. Kevin reads your thoughts. “I want to lick your precum too. Let's make a 69! I need to suck your powerful circumcised cock.”

Yes, please!, you think in ecstasy. You just love how his balls feel in my mouth. And Kevin has fun to. You must have been sweating like a dog on the trip. Your balls are salty, your cock is deliciously cheesy. “Fuck, I can not tell you how I missed you.” Kevin moans.

He always feels so good, just keep going please, you think. His cock is so hard. His precum is spectacular. It’s like you’re in sync — in and out, in and out, in and out. “Fuck, your balls are so huge”, Kevin grunts. “I didn't jerk off all the time you ve been away. My balls are bursting”.

You both are perfectly synchron. Like one organism. “Please cum at the exact moment that I also cum. I want to make this old house shake.”, you think.You can’t wait to make you explode. Kevins moans “I can't take it much longer. Fuck, you are a master with your tongue. Fuck... Oh yeah... Yes! Fuuuuuuuck!”

Oh god! That was heavy. You both really try. But that was too much. Boy, what a load you both shot! Kevins cum is so thick! So potent! You ’ve got my whole mouth full, not able to swallow everything at once. You both exchange a deep French kiss. The cum runs from the corners of your mouths down our cheeks and necks. Kevin licks the cum traces from your skin. And you his. One last kiss, you pull up our pants again. And go to the kitchen with a joint. Lukas and Emma grin. The whole house could listen to you having sex.

“Incredible, as always, Kevin” You tell him, as you pass him the joint. And as if nothing had happened, you ask Emma if she has any new user stories for your app.

[guardian-angle22]

Nine ten books

thank you to @rmd-writes who tagged me (ages ago) in this... not sure you knew what you were going to unleash when you did that but here we are. 😅

I think the prompt for this is just list nine favorite books, but because I can't be normal about books and my taurus energy is strong today... I'm breaking up these book recs into categories, adding visuals, and also adding a tenth book to make it an even number. Cheers!

Books #1 & #2 (Nonfiction)

Ace by Angela Chen - Hello! Your friendly neighborhood asexual over here recommending that everybody read this book! It's such a good exploration of what it's like to navigate the world as an ace person and also the vast spectrum involved within asexuality.

Yoke by Jessamyn Stanley - Even if you've never done a single yoga pose in your life, I think you can gain something from this book. It's not a how-to yoga guide, but instead essays about her relationship to yoga, cultural appropriation within the community, fatness, colonization, capitalism, etc. It's fantastic and funny!

Books #3 & #4 (Excellent on Audio)

Six Stories by Matt Wesolowski - This fiction book (and the following books in the series) follows an investigative journalist who has a true crime podcast. The audiobook is full cast and it feels like you're following along to an actual podcast, but one you know you'll get a conclusion to. Highly recommend all of the books in this series on audio if you enjoy mystery/thrillers.

Where to Begin by Cleo Wade - The author narrates the audio version of this and her voice is like a balm to the soul. It feels a little bit like she’s a counselor guiding you through a thoughtful meditation. It’s short but it packs a punch.

Books #5 & #6 (Seasonally Appropriate)

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas - This is a YA book following a young trans boy, Yadiel, who wants to prove to his family that he's truly a brujo and attempts to summon the ghost of a murdered family member. Except he accidentally summons a classmate who has no idea how he died. Adventure and mystery ensues!

The Changeling by Victor Lavalle - I've always loved the folklore surrounding changelings, but Lavalle's writing just takes this to another level. This is set in NYC and he somehow managed to make the city feel like a character in itself. Super chilling, creepy read.

Books #7 & 8 (Graphic Novels)

I Hate Fairyland by Skottie Young - This is a 4 volume series about a little girl named Gertrude who is whisked away to Fairyland, where she's told she must go on a quest to find the key to unlock the door back to her world. Turns out she sucks at quests and 30 years pass and she still hasn't found the key. Now she's stuck in the body of a six year old and just murders everything she comes across. The contrast of bright, happy colors vs. the murderous, jaded Gertrude is hilarious and wonderful.

The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen - This is a standalone graphic novel following Tien, the son of Vietnamese immigrants, as he navigates how to come out to his parents. The art in this is wonderful and the use of color to define when we're in the past, the present, or a fairy tale was done so beautifully. A gorgeous read!

Books #9 & #10 (Books from Favorite Authors I Will Read Anything From)

A Psalm for the Wild Built by Becky Chambers - This book/series follows a tea monk who encounters a robot looking for the answer to the question, "what do people need?" It's cozy and comforting. I've read every Becky Chambers book published and will continue to do so. The way she weaves hope into everything she writes is phenomenal.

The Raven Boys by Maggie Steifvater - This series owns my soul. I don't even know how to pitch this other than it has a magical forest, a found family, the slowest of slow burn queer love, and Maggie Steifvater's atmospheric writing. Maggie is another author that I will read pretty much anything from (the werewolves weren't my cup of tea so I can't claim to have read all her books).

OPEN TAG to anyone who wants to list off some book recs/fave books. Tag me so I can get some new recs!! also no pressure tagging: @lemonlyman-dotcom @mikibwrites @alrightbuckaroo @reasonandfaithinharmony

[icanbeyourjedi-writes]

Dear Frankie, Chapter Six

Summary: It’s Tom and Molly’s wedding. For the first time you are a plus one…a plus one to the perfect man.  The wedding was going great, everything falling into place for it to be a night to remember.  Only it’s a nice that you would rather forget.  Words: 5587 Rating: 18+ SMUT please don’t read if you are under 18 Warnings/Triggers for series: Frankie is active duty military, deployment, death, Adult language, themes, and SMUT A/N: So I don’t really know anything…ok I know nothing about Fayetteville, North Carolina.  I am taking my own liberties on what it’s like there.  Names of places may exist, but I have no idea if they are real or not as well as some of the events I have.  But it's fan fiction and there are no rules.  While the reader may have some descriptions, I am doing my best to leave out physical characteristics. Just try to have a little imagination while you're reading this.  This story had come to be from that photo of Pedro in the white suit for the NYC premiere of Massive Talent. It made me think of an Angel, then talking with @tauralmie  kinda came up with this idea of a story where what if one deployment Frankie didn’t come home, and you had been dreaming of him so much, you see him wearing that white suit. That is how this little series was developed. 

**Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. **

-July 2012-

It was the first time you were a plus one at a wedding, and it was the first time in a long time you were excited for a wedding. You had promised Frankie that morning after that you were done with tequila. You and José Cuervo were over, it was a tough break up but you know he’ll make it through. 

You watch as Frankie fidgets with his tie again trying to make it perfect. He hated wearing his dress uniform, but you have to admit he looked beyond handsome and already earned many ribbon bars despite not being in the service for very long. His expert pilot skills have done him well. 

You just finished tying the strap of your gold butterfly heels and walked over to him standing in front of the mirror of your shared hotel room. A hand on his shoulder “here baby let me help you” you say softly and he turns to face you 

“I hate this fucking tie…if it wasn’t Tom’s wedding I could wear a normal suit” he huffs 

Because it was his officers wedding, and since Tom was active duty military the dress uniform was a must. The dark green suit, paired with matching dress pants. A lighter green shirt and a black tie. Black shoes, Frankie was able to convince Tom to forego the hat. Morales was written on a black bar name tag placed on the left of his broad chest, your eyes roam over those broad shoulders wondering what he might look like on your wedding day. Would he still be active duty, would he be retired…does he even want the marriage thing?

“Don’t get me wrong, you look good in your normal suit” you smile as your fingers work their magic, tying his tie “but this suit…it’s doing something for me” 

“Shut up” he rolls his eyes, his hands hold your hips “but let’s talk about this…the dress, is it new?” 

It was indeed new, shades of purple pansies midi dress. The dress stops just below your knees showing off your toned calves. The thin straps of fabric criss-crossing in the back, the knot rests on your lower back. The dress showed off just enough in the front to be respectful, where the back showed much more skin.

“It is, wanted something special for a special day…but really this suit. You look really handsome” you kiss his cheek 

“Thank you,” he wraps his arms around you pulling you into a hug “oh oh before I forget, I have something for you” 

He lets go of you quickly and you watch him move to his duffle bag. Opening it up and pulling out a small red bag he turns back towards you. The bag looks so small in his large hands, he stops in front of you holding the bag out for you. You take the bag by the little black strings and carefully remove the white tissue paper, finding a velvet box inside 

“Frankie,” you gasp in shock, “what is this?” 

When I looked inside that little bag the last thing I expected to see was a little black velvet box. My heart nearly stopped when I saw that.  I don’t think I could stop my hands from shaking when I took that little box out.  Frankie Morales, you always find a new way to take my breath away.  I will never understand how or why I deserve someone like you.  But I am so happy that you ran into me that day.

You were shaking when you pulled out the box and set the bag on the dresser next to you. Frankie’s hand covers yours holding the box. “Breathe Estrella…breath” he helps calm you down. You open your eyes and look down at the box that the two of you open together.  Inside the box, a silver helicopter charm. A silver chain with it, your hands start to shake even more the longer you look at it and take in all the details.  One of the large blades of the helicopter has his name, F. Morales written in elegant cursive. Another one of the blades has the date you two met.  The next blade is your nickname for him, Tu Pescado and the last blade is the name he has been calling you…Mi Estrella. The thought behind each blade had tears forming in your eyes. His hands quickly cup your face and his thumbs wiping away the tears before they have a chance to fall. 

“I didn’t mean to make you cry” he smiles

“And you claim you don’t do the romance thing” you stare at the necklace a little longer before looking up at him “Frankie, this is…I don’t even have the words for it” 

“I was hoping it would be ready for your birthday, but the engraving took a little longer then expected” his hands still hold your face 

“Frankie, it's perfect.  Thank you, will you…” before you can even finish the question he is nodding his head yes picking up the delicate piece of jewelry from your shaking hands. You turn and lift your hair off your shoulders as he puts the necklace on you. Your fingers hold the charm. You don’t know what you did to have this man be a part of your life but you were happy he was.

Tom’s actual brothers were his two grooms men. It was a smaller wedding, you sat towards the back with Frankie and the guys. Will brought Chole while Santi and Benny were planning on finding a nice girl at the wedding. Your hands resting in your lap when Frankie reaches over taking one of yours with his. He brings the back of your hands to his lips. He laces his fingers with yours and sits them on his thigh as the wedding begins. 

Hearing Molly talk about missing Tom while he was away, but making the most of the time they had together. How she promised to love him through it all. Despite the distance and the worry they were stronger now than ever before. How she is honored to carry his last name. It got you thinking even more if this exact moment would be in your future with Frankie. When you turn to look at him, he’s already looking at you. Eyes taking in all of your features, as if he is trying to take a picture in his mind of this moment and you can’t help but wonder if he is thinking the same thing as you. 

The Best Man speech and Maid of Honors speeches had been done, the dinner finished and the dancing had begun. You and Frankie found your own little area on the dance floor, away from most of the dancing couples, your own slice of Heaven on a corner in the dance floor.  Frankie keeps looking over towards the DJ every few moments as if he was expecting a song to play. “So, I normally don’t take requests during my wedding playlist but this was a special request and something that I had a hard time saying no to.  So everyone grab your partner and make your way for a doe-see-doe on the dance floor” Frankie’s smile’s widens and pulls you in close.

“Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots…” he sang into your ear his arms wrap around your waist, spinning the two of you “I was the last one you thought you’d see there” his lips brushing over your ear with each word sending shivers down your spine

‘Frankie…” you pull your head back to look at him

“Honey…we may be through but you’ll never hear my complaaaaain” he smiles as everyone around the two of you start to chime in with the first chorus. “You said you wanted to hear me sing” he tells you before quickly kissing your forehead. His lips linger just a bit longer, his hands sliding up your body and along your arms reaching for your hands. 

You can’t help but smile, Frankie always found a new way to make you fall in love with him. He takes a step back still holding on to your hands, raising them up and spinning you he brings your back to him. Arms crossed in front of your body, hands still linked together, the two of you sway to the music. You seemed to be in your own little Heaven not caring about the line dancing going on around you, 

Frankie wrapped around you his chin resting on your shoulder, kissing just below your ear “Well I guess I was wrong, I just don’t belong” he sighs and you lean your head against him, his  arms tightening just a bit around you. 

You pull a hand away from his, and cup his face. Thumb rubbing along his jaw as your fingers find his hair “Well, I’ll be as high as that ivory tower…” you sing with him 

“I’ve got friends in low places…” the two of you sing together and you bring your lips closer to his waiting for him to close the distance, which he happily does. His grip loosens and you turn your body to face him. Fingers threading through his hair. You smile against his lips, pulling away he runs his nose along the side of yours 

“I love you” no matter how many times he utters those words. Three simple words that make your heart flutter like it’s the first time you're hearing him say them. 

Your arms wrap around his neck, “I love you too” you say before kissing him again. His arms wrapping around you and picking you up spinning you around on the dance floor. No matter the situation Frankie was always finding a way to make you feel like you're the only two in the world. 

“All right, all right…it’s that time of the night I would like to invite all the ladies to the dance floor, and Mrs. Davis to the front of the room. It’s about time we find out who the next lucky lady is” the DJ comes over the speakers 

Benny pats Frankie on the back as your fingers slowly slip from his. You can hear him mutter something to him as you make your way to the center of the dance floor, Molly making direct eye contact with you. She winks before turning around, “one…two…three…”

I used to think this part of the wedding was stupid. I never believed that catching the bouquet meant that you were next in line. I don’t even know if this is something that you want. Do you want marriage? Do you want the family life…speaking of family, do you want babies?

Molly was standing directly in front of you, when the bouquet was tossed all the other ladies stepped to the side, it was almost as if you were Moses and the seas had parted. The flowers landing directly in your outreached arms. You had been too focused on the flying flowers to notice that no one was even around you. You can hear a few men holler with excitement, turning to Frankie to see his checks start to flush and his friends clap with giddyness. You smile and wave the flowers at him shrugging your shoulders. 

Soon the men had swapped places with the women. Molly is sitting on a chair as Tom’s head is under her dress, the two of them having fun while he ‘searches’ for her garter belt wrapped around her thigh. Tom finally emerges with the black lace in his teeth. Every clapping when he stands up. You see him look at you. With a devilish smirk on his face he lines up his hands like a slingshot aiming directly at Frankie. The thin piece of fabric flies towards his face, Frankie snatching it out of the air. An awkward smile falls upon his face

“Looks like someone is gonna have to buy a ring…” Pope chuckles patting him on the back 

Frankie glances over at you, and you can’t help the small smile on your face. It’s the same smile that always appears when he looks at you, “shut up, man” Frankie grumbles 

“You know it’s a must. She has the bouquet you have the garter…it’s like a done deal” Benny chimes in punching his shoulder 

“I said shut up, it’s not like she’s gonna wanna marry me anyways” he groans looking at the massive weight in his hands “she’s gonna realize she can do better” he shoves the thing in his pocket and shakes off Popes hands 

“Fish, she’s cra…..” Pope starts 

“I said, leave it” 

You make your way over to the group who falls silent as you arrive. Tom and Molly are already there, all in on a little secret you wish you knew. You can tell Frankie is having an inner battle with himself. His eyes darting around the room, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. Yay nervous tick you’ve picked up on. You give Molly a hug and tell them both congratulations on a beautiful wedding. Wrapping your arm around Frankie. His body tense. You place a hand on his stomach, and look up at him “hey…” you say softly

He doesn’t respond, you move your hand up. He finally looks at you. “Hey…you wanna…”

“Yes” he says before you can even finish your sentence. 

He takes your hand and all but drags you out of the dance hall. Bobbing and weaving through the people, before he finally comes to a stop at the elevator. He pushes the call button over and over as if the more he pushes it the faster it will come. His fingers still locked with yours, groaning with the elevator takes its sweet time arriving. “Come on…come on” you can hear him mutter under his breath. The ding to signify the arrival, “fuck finally” he says as the doors slide open. 

A mother and her two children exit the elevator, you smile at the little girl in pigtails when your arm is pulled and you stumble into the elevator. Frankie punches floor 7 and the little arrows that close the door. The doors slide close and before you can say something Frankie’s lips are on yours. A frantic kiss, the total opposite of the way he usually kisses you. The normal precision and calculated moves are all teeth and tongue. You have to pull away to try and catch your breath. As you do his mouth moves to your neck. 

“Frrraaaaaank,” you moan as he nips at your pulse point “mmmmm. Frankie” the elevator comes to a stop and the doors open. Frankie pulls away quickly. Moving to stand next to you and a couple steps on to the elevator. 

He laces his fingers with yours. You can feel his foot tapping impatiently. The elevator moving at a snail's pace for him. The light for floor 7 illuminates and the doors slide open. Frankie moves out of the elevator pulling you with him. The moment you exit and the doors close behind you, his hand moves to wrap around you. Pushing you up against the wall, a hand on your waist as the other pushed up against the wall trapping you there. Your hands hold onto the lapels of his jacket. The kiss is less frantic, this kiss more like the practiced dance the two of you have perfected. Pulling away, and quickly pecking your lips before resting his forehead against yours. 

“I…I love…you” he pulls away just enough to look at you. 

If you didn’t believe his words, you could see it in his eyes. His eyes looking at you like you put the stars in the night sky, that you are the key for any locked door, and the light in his darkness. You close the distance, lips finding his. The hand he placed on the wall releases, fingertips ghosting over your arm as he searches for your wrist. Wrapping his long fingers around it, he moves your hand around his neck before he places his hand on your waist. Doing the same motion with the other arm. He leans back just enough to lift your feet slightly off the ground. You pull back just enough to feel him nod against your head. His hands move just a little lower, you lift your legs to wrap around his waist. 

He walks you a short distance down the hall to your room. A hand letting go of you as he reaches into his pocket for the room key, his fingers brush over the garter belt that he shoved in his pocket earlier. Pulling out the card the garter belt falls to the ground and you can feel him fumble with the key trying to slide it into the card slot. You release one leg from his waist, tiptoes finding the ground before you place your foot down. Removing the other leg, you pull away. Your hand reaching behind you to find his and gently remove the card from his shaking hands. 

Turning around in his arms you slide the key into the reader and the little light turns green. You turn the handle of the door and push it open. Steeping inside, you hold the door open for Frankie who follows you in. You look down and notice the garter belt and bend down to pick it up. Frankie’s already at the closet hanging up his jacket and ripping his tie off, turning to face you with the garter belt twirling around your fingers. 

“You wanna talk?” you ask having a small idea that this is what was bothering him 

“No” he says, closing the distance between you quickly. Taking the thin lace fabric from your fingers and dropping it to the ground. His lips on yours and guiding you back towards the bed 

I don’t know what happened Frankie, I don’t know if it was the bouquet toss, or the garter belt. But I’ve been to enough weddings to know that it doesn’t always play out that way. Of course I’d be lying to you if I said my heart didn’t skip a beat when you were the one to get the garter belt, but there’s also something that tells me that this was all part of some elaborate plan.  Frankie, I love you, and of course I’d want to spend the rest of our lives together.

His lips on yours and his fingers find the thin string pulling it gently and unting the back of your dress. His fingers move to the thin fabric holding your dress up, sliding the fabric down. His lips move to your neck and you gasp as he sucks on your pulse point. Threading your fingers into his hair you sigh his name. Causing him to smile against your skin. 

“Are…you…are you…” you breathe out “sure?” 

He lifts his head, eyes dark brown and full of lust. He licks his lips and he nods. “You know I love you…” he says and you nod “…and you love me right?” 

“I do…” you respond, those words holding more meaning then you knew 

His nose trails along your neck, then along the curve of your jaw. Lips placing a kiss near your ear, “then let me take you to bed” he whispers “mi Amor” those words send a shiver down your spine and you nod your head 

“Ooo…” your heart races “ok” you voice is shaky 

He pulls back, his hands moving to slide off your dress. You both continue to look into each other's eyes as your dress falls to the ground. You take a deep breath, suddenly realizing just how exposed you were. He could see your body language change as his eyes roam down your naked body back up to you. You cross your arms over your stomach trying to hand as much of yourself as you could. He shakes his head and takes your hands, pulling them forward slightly for you to step out of the dress “you are so beautiful” 

You smile shyly at his comment, your eyes looking down. His places his fingers under your jaw tilting it back up so you are forced to look at him, “beautiful” he says again. Leaning in to kiss you. 

Slowly, every touch of his fingers, brush of his tongue over your lips sets your body on fire.  Your hands move to his chest, carefully trying to unbutton his shirt. With each button you move closer to the bed, when you slide the fabric off his broad shoulders, and down his large muscular biceps he gingerly lays you down onto the mattress. He tugs on your bottom lip as he pulls away. “Mmmmm” you sigh. He pushes himself off the bed reaching for his belt buckle. Unhooking the dark belt, and pulling it through the loops. You watch every movement he makes. As the belt hits the ground he reaches for your right foot, uniting the strappy butterfly on your heels and dropping it to the ground, kissing the top of your foot and then your ankle before moving to the left. Repeating the same steps as before, you can feel the goosebumps grow over your skin when his lips ghost over your skin

“Move up the bed,” he nods towards the pillows, he undoes the button holding his pants together and slowly unzips them, his pants fall to the ground leaving him in his tight black boxer briefs, the bulge beginning for him to release him. 

You do as Frankie asks, biting your lip in anticipation.  His fingers sliding into the waistband of his boxers, he bends over as he slides the fabric down his legs, standing back up. His cock at full attention, you didn’t have much to go on but Frankie was thick and long.  It’s not like you haven’t seen a penis before.  You’ve watched porn before, and there was that one time you accidentally walked in on Tyler, Heather’s Fiance…now husband, taking a shower.  Your heart starts to race and you begin to panic on how it is even going to fit, if he was going to fit and how painful this was going to be. 

He crawls back up the bed, like a lion hunting his prey.  His eyes locked onto you, spreading your legs to make room for him as he makes his way up the bed. His lips are on yours before you can say anything. 

To say I was panicked, was a bit of an understatement. Frankie, you knew exactly what you were doing.  I wondered if you knew just how big you were.  I am sure women have told you that before, and I was scared if I was even going to be able to take you, to make you happy.

You can feel the tip of his cock pressed up against you, and he breaks the kiss. Moving to his forearm to hold his weight off you, the other hand stroking himself and sliding the tip between your folds, “you have to tell me if I’m hurting your, if you want to stop…anything” his voice so much deeper than you’ve ever heard him speak before. You nod your head, fingers finding the chain of his dog tags that dangle above you, “Estrella, I need you to hear you say you understand, use your words ok. You say stop, we stop” 

“Ok, Frankie…” you reply nodding your head again, and pulling the chain around his neck back towards you, leaning up just enough to meet his lips 

His lips don’t leave yours as he begins to push in, you turn your head and cry out in pain. He slips and his hips meet yours as his cock slides up your mound. “Sorry” you choke out “try…try again?” 

He stares at you for a moment, leaning down to kiss the tears from your eyes. Asking are you sure without ever saying the words. You nod your head and he realigns himself again. You try to relax your body, try to hide the fear you know he can sense while he teases you ever so gently. Beginning to push in again, he pushes into you, biting your lip. He watches as you close your eyes, eyebrows scrunched together. You want to tell him to stop, but you also want to try again. He gets the tip in before pulling out, shaking his head. The feeling of pathetic, and sad washover you as you cover your face and start to sob. 

Frankie doesn’t know what to do, he hasn’t had this happen since he was 15 and his first time. He groans as he rolls away from you. It wasn’t you, he didn’t mean to make it sound like it but, his dick was painfully hard and he needs to find a release, he rushes into the bathroom and closes the door behind him. You hear the water turn on, hands covering your face is disappointment and embarrassment. How was this possible, what were you doing wrong. You swing your legs over the edge of the bed and move to your suitcase finding a pair of clean underwear and a shirt you throw both of them on, you slip into the sleep shorts you had sitting on the dresser. There was a knock on the door, and you look through the little hole to see who was standing there.  It was Molly with the bouquet of flowers you had forgotten downstairs.  You wipe your face and try to put on a fake smile, you didn’t want to have her see you crying.  

“Hi” you try to sound happy as you open the door

“Hey,” her cheerful voice suddenly changes when she sees you “hey…what’s wrong?” she asks 

“Nothing…nothing. Everything is fine…I’m fine.  Frankie’s in the shower” you avoid eye contact trying to focus on the flowers.  Hoping she will just drop them off and leave 

“You sure?” she questions, pushing it just a bit further 

You shake your head and take the flowers in her hand, “I’m fine, he’s fine…everythings fine. Thank you” and you close the door behind you. Walking to where Frankie had dropped the garter belt you picked up and wrapped it around the flower stems.  Tossing the both of them in the trash.  You move over to the window and open the curtain, crossing your arms and staring out at the night sky. The scene that just unfolded or didn’t unfold plays over in your head. 

I don’t know why you were with me Frankie, I don’t know why you stayed after I told you I was a virgin.  I knew this wasn’t going to work, you were always telling me that I could do better than you Francisco, and honestly deep down, I knew you could do better than me although you’d never believe me.  

The bathroom door opens and a cloud of steam follows Frankie out.  A towel wrapped around his waist, little water droplets cling to the ends of his hair.  His footsteps stealth like as he glides to you, a hand placed on your shoulder and rubbing down your back as you wipe away the tears from your eyes, “mi Estrella…amor,” he says softly before kissing your cheek

“Frankie, I’m sorry.  I…I understand,” you hands move to your necklace as you look at him.  “I get it if you want to break up, you know, find someone you can help you in ways I clearly can’t.  Find someone who isn’t a pathetic loser” your fingers find the clasp. His hands fly to your wrists and stop them before they move any further

“What are you talking about, why are you sorry? I should be the one saying sorry” he shakes his head, and brings your hands to his lips and places a soft kiss to your knuckles “I wanted you, I had a million things running in my mind about the night, I just…I forgot to prep you first” he starts

“Prep me?” you raise an eyebrow at him “Frankie I’m not a meal you can just prepare to eat” you shake your head giving him a small smile when you see his grin

“A man has to eat, and you look the perfect meal” his hand holds your waist, biting his bottom lip “we can try again” 

“Maybe later, Frankie. I just, I don’t feel…I don’t feel…” your voice trails off trying to think of the right words

“In the mood?” He finishes 

You weren’t sure if that was even the word for it. You try to tell him how you feel inadequate, how you aren’t going to be good, how you still feel like a loser. You pull your arms tighter around your body, a tear streaming down your cheek. Frankie places his hand around your neck, his thumb brushing along your cheek. You look at him, his eyes full of love and understanding “we’ll figure it out and it’s going to be great. At least I hope it’s great and I can only hope I live up to the expectations you have. I love you, more than I think I knew was possible. I will wait for you always, as long as it takes” 

“I love you,” your breath catches in your throat he always said he was the lucky one. But in this moment you knew you were the lucky one 

“I love you too” he gives you a sweet kiss, the kind that make you feel like your floating on air “let’s go to bed” 

Your forehead pressed up against the middle of his back, your arm wrapped around him. His hand a firm grip over yours, you slowly blink awake. His snores letting you know that he is still asleep, you place a kiss to his shoulder blade and try to slide your hand away from his chest. But in the attempt to move he only holds onto it tighter sliding his fingers in between yours. You smile and kiss his shoulder again “Frankie I have to pee…” you whisper smiling against his bare shoulder blade. He doesn’t move but the grip loosens just enough for you to slip your hand away from him. Kissing his shoulder one more time before rolling out of bed, your feet find the floor and you move as quiet as you can to the small bathroom. 

You stand in front of the sink, eyes still slightly puffy from crying last night.  However you discover a new little love bit, sitting just below your neck where the collar of your shirt meets your skin. You smile as the memory of Frankie kissing you plays in your mind, how did you get a guy like that.

A guy who not only is willing to wait for me to be ready, but is willing to be the first no matter how bad our first attempt went. Frankie, I can’t believe you are still a part of my life and I don’t know if there is ever going to be a way to tell you just how much I love you, but Frankie I do.  Thank you for proving that good guys still exist in the world. 

Opening the door you find he had rolled over, his hand placed on the bed where you had been laying. Eyes closed, and mouth open slightly letting soft snores escape.  He looks incredibly peaceful, the boyish features make your heart swoon and fall even more in love.  Glancing at the clock on the bedside table you realize you have a few hours before check out, not wanting to disturb Frankie you close the door to the bathroom once more and turn on the warm water, and step into the shower, preparing yourself for the day that lay ahead.  

Stepping out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around your head, and in your shorts and bra you freeze when you hear Frankie whistle at you. You whip around to see him packing up his duffle bag he brought with him. You quickly find his shirt that had been thrown on the ground from the night before and hold it in front of you. He crawls over the bed in his jeans and dark gray shirt, he reaches you in two strides and puts his hands on your hips. He leans into you, giving you a quick kiss on the lips before placing a kiss on your forehead.  His lips staying there a few moments longer, “...you know as much as I want to see you in this shirt, it looked better on the ground” he smiles kissing you again and you can feel your cheeks get warm. 

His hands move to the shirt, and you hand it over to him, “really?” you question him.  He nods, tossing the shirt over to his side of the bed where he was almost finished packing. Bringing his hands back to your waist and pulling you closer to him. Your chest pressed up against his, and his hands run up and down the length of your body. His face inches from yours, his hair still smells like the cheap shampoo from the hotel. “Frankie…” you start to stay when there was a knock at the door.

“Hold that thought, yeah?” He smiles and quickly kisses you.  Getting off the bed he runs to the door “This better be important” he says unlocking the door and opening it to find Benny 

“Oh it's very important…” you hear Benny chuckle “Pancakes or doughnuts?” 

[sophie-i-guess13]

I posted 5,587 times in 2022

That's 5,587 more posts than 2021!

2,767 posts created (50%)

2,820 posts reblogged (50%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@outsiders-lesbian-xvi

@rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me

@collieflower215

@the-kneesbees

@cleverclove

I tagged 3,376 of my posts in 2022

Only 40% of my posts had no tags

#soapie’s stuff - 2,782 posts

#asks! - 1,881 posts

#lee! - 936 posts

#lee this is a blessing - 765 posts

#the outsiders - 384 posts

#the outsiders fanfiction - 183 posts

#james! - 130 posts

#dillo’s replies - 110 posts

#sophie i guess13 - 109 posts

#tim shepard - 102 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i actually have a walkman from ‘92 but it broke (and i don’t have the materials to fix it just yet so i might as well keep an eye out for

I sent 1 gift in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Haha.

Nice.

45 notes - Posted November 18, 2022

#4

Buck : this is the fourth time I’ve had to bail you out this month. Keep this up, and I’ll have to start stripping to keep the lights on.

46 notes - Posted October 17, 2022

#3

Hello hope you doing well :) #8 With Steve? Sorry it's late

8. hugging while walking

Hi! Hope you’re doing well too! I’m gonna assume you wanted an x reader for this one :)

Elongated shadows paint the sidewalk as they move down the street, hand in hand. It’s a warm afternoon in October, the perfect time to slip away during the lunch hour and walk the six blocks over to the DX. Now that lunch was almost over, Steve was walking Y/N back.

“Y’know what, Steve?” Y/N asks suddenly, “I think I’m gonna try and get a job this month.”

They freeze in the middle of the sidewalk, Steve’s large hand still fully incapsulating Y/N’s. “You don’t want a job,” he chuckles. “They’re so much work-“

“That’s the point, Steve. I don’t see what the big deal is, you have a job-“

“I have a job because I have nothing else goin’ for me, Y/N. If my old man wasn’t all over me, I woulda dropped out by now.” His voice is much lower now; quieter as his arm slides around Y/N’s waist and holds them close, willing their steps to synchronize as they walk. “Just focus on school, yeah? You’re plenty smart. I’m saving up to take care of you already.”

53 notes - Posted July 30, 2022

#2

Curly Shepard loves photography. Specifically, candid shots of his siblings. He keeps a secret album beneath his bed, all with a little blurb on the back.

He kind of uses them as a diary - things he’ll never say to them out loud.

There's one of Tim asleep on the couch, it's obvious he fell asleep waiting for Curly to get home. So, on the back, Curly’s written “I know you worry about us. I'm sorry.”

There's one of Angela doing her makeup, getting ready for a date. “Bryon Douglas is a douchebag who doesn't deserve you- I dunno why you're getting all dressed up for him. You look pretty without all that make up anyway.”

His favourite ones are when they're both smiling, he has a specific page dedicated to those ones.

74 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

12 year old Dallas, fresh outta NYC: you’re a hillbilly. I don’t have to listen to you.

A 17 year old Buck, wondering why he just let this kid in his car: I prefer the term redneck, you fucking orphan.

285 notes - Posted August 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sharkneto]

12, 17, 39!!!

12. what’s some good advice you want to share?

I think the two things that have really shaped me for the better is to Ask and to remember The Time Will Pass Anyway. If you don't know how to do something, if you need a clarification or direction, if you need an accommodation - Ask! I know it's scary, I know they might say no ---- but most of the time people say /yes/ or meet you with a compromise, and many people's jobs is explicitly to help you and answer your questions. Save yourself the time and stress of trying to figure things out on your own and Ask. I'm not always good at remembering this myself, but open communication makes everything in life so, so much easier.

The phrase The Time Will Pass Anyway changed my brain chemistry the first time I read it. I'd been questioning my gender and if I should transition for months, was avoiding doing things in life because I Didn't Know, and then I saw that and looked back at how I'd done nothing but stress and hem and haw for the past months, anxious that I'd be ugly and awkward during the early stages of transition and regret doing it. I started the process to go on hormones the next week. Haven't looked back since. This is not just for transitioning if you're on a gender journey, but anything in life if you've been on the fence and dancing around doing it because it's going to take a long time to get to your goal - learning an instrument, language, art, writing, whatever - The Time Is Going To Pass Anyway. You can be bad at it now and be better in a few months, closer to your goal, or you can be bad at it now and still be in the same spot in a few months because you didn't try for fear of being bad or ugly or whatever. The Time Will Pass Anyway. Try it out - if you like it, you're that much closer to your goal with it, if you didn't like it, now you know and don't have to keep spending time wondering about it.

17. name 3 things that make you happy

1. My siblings <3 Just got to see them again for some fun in NYC, I love them so much.

2. My Bastard Boy, best little kitty guy in the world

3. Orville Peck. His music is everything and he puts on a show like no one else.

39. youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

This feels like it's targeted for Jet Lag propaganda and I willingly indulge it. Jet Lag the Game!! You'd be hard pressed to find a better travel game and the personalities of Sam, Adam, and Ben are delightful. Really well thought-out games, fun challenges, and excellent editing makes the Jet Lag team my current fav YouTubers. I rec starting with one of their Tag Through Europe seasons, and then go through the rest as you want.

[winderlylandchime]

Hi! I'm nearing the end of my qaf re-watch (this time i might actually finish the show in it's entirety, i always stop somewhere during season 5 and haven't seen the finale in over a decade). I'm trying to prepare for the inevitable disappointment of the ending, so i was wondering if you had any fix-it fics you could recommend? Preferably longer ones but any length will be fine 🩷

Hello dear sweet anon! The finale (especially that last shot) is so heart-breaking. I always try to hold in mind that CowLip always meant the ending to be hopeful, that they intended Justin and Brian to remain together, that they had research the plane flight between Pittsburgh and NYC.... still. 513 stings doesn't it? And it's so bittersweet because the "only time" speech is everything, it is, dare I say, ridiculously romantic.

That said, nothing like a fix-it fic! (Some of these are shorter than you're looking for but they're so good I couldn't not include them) (under the cut so my mutuals don't hate me)

I wouldn't marry me either by orphan account, ~8k words, Everyone, including Brian and Justin themselves, assume it will be the sex.

The Love Song of Brian A. Kinney by ipoiledi, ~12k words, It all started because the phone sex was just making things worse.

Queer As Folk Season 6 by qaffangyrl, ~96k words, Timeline: Six Months after 513 (note the tag for minor character death)

All Kinds of Time (series) by @xoxoemynn , ~69k words, Justin may be thriving in New York, but Brian's life is spiraling out of control. When he stands in danger of losing it all -- Justin, his career, and his friends -- will his personal guardian angels, Vic and Judy, be able to reach him in time? Or will time, and his old hang ups, get the best of him?

Only Time (series) by Xie, ~250k words, After moving to New York, Justin makes a plan. Brian hasn't got a chance.

devil_on_your_shoulder27384 has a number of post-canon PWP fics

...and my own fic

beautiful like the darkness between the fireflies by @winderlylandchime , ~20k words, “Please, have a seat.” Brian gestures to the chairs surrounding the large, oval table. He watches Justin give him a tight-lipped grin as he shrugs his arms out of his coat and lays it on a chair and slides into the one next to it. Jerking himself back to attention, Brian walks around to the head of the table, wakes the projector up, and begins his presentation. This is where he shines and he’s pleased, relieved, that his first contact with Justin after all these years is on his turf. That it’s in a setting where he can be masterful, where he can be in control.

[theyluvkarolina]

౨ৎ PUPPY LOVE ౨ৎ

masterlist / rules / requests & talks with me!

SUMMARY౨ৎ Sometimes love makes you act stupid. luckily, the f1 community has Logan’s back to help him with his crush.

PAIRING ౨ৎ Logan Sargent x Model!Reader (it doesn’t play much of a part tbh haha)

FACE CLAIM ౨ৎ some photos are of the beautiful madison beer!

WARNINGS ౨ৎ none!

A/N ౨ৎ first post ✔️ thank you sm for reading! Definitely not my best, but not bad for my first post! always hoping to improve :) also, sorry about all the spelling mistakes! i really need to improve on them 😅

have a wonderful day lovelies 🩶

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

therealyn_ln

therealyn_ln I’m so honored to be a part of Williams this race! Looking forward to more in the future! 🫶🩵

1,234 comments

username1 wtf bro she's stunning 😭

username2 they could have picked someone actually important but noooo they chose some model 🙄

username3 I can’t be the only one that saw how mesmerized Logan was looking at her...

williamsracing So happy to have you! You're welcoming anytime!

*liked by therealyn_ln!*

logansargeant happy to have you join us! come back anytime, I'll be happy to show you around Miami! 🙂

→ username4 LOGAN SHOOTING HIS SHOT??? → username5 bro sounds too proper 💀 → username6 I know he was shaking while typing that → therealyn_ln is that an offer or a promise? → logansargeant why not both?

IMESSAGES

**correction: “IT’S HARD ENOUGH WITH HER BEING SO PRETTY, BUT HER BEING SWEET TOO? I WAS SO NERVOUS

TWITTER

IMESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

therealyn_ln has added a new story!

therealyn_ln

📍 miami, florida, usa

therealyn_ln It’s fun having your personal tour guide :)

2,143 comments

username7 WHO IS THAT MAN???

username8 we lost her guys 😔😔

username9 logan and y/n collaboration????

logansargeant should have used sunscreen

→ therealy/n_ln hey, it’s not my fault the nyc weather got to me :((

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

therealyn_ln

therealyn_ln back to the paddock! 🏁 as logan promised, I was in fact shown around the miami track! (ps. I took his sunscreen advice!)

tagged ; logansargeant

1,783 comments

username10 they are so sweet :((

username11 pls tell me they will date

logansargeant glad you learned from the original florida man

→ therealyn_ln correction, florida BOY → logansargeant rude 🤕

logansargeant

logansargeant Not the result we wanted.. but we will bounce back! 👊 Thank you to all the fans for the constant support!

tagged ; therealyn_ln

1,694 comments

username12 “fans” it’s just y/n lol

therealyn_ln i thought we talked about using these kinds of photos bestie logan…

→ logansargeant never call me that again… → therealyn_ln can’t make any guarentees 🙃

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

therealyn_ln

therealyn_ln pasta night was a flop… so we got chick-fil-a!

tagged ; logansargeant

1,853 comments

landonorris @therealyn_ln logan let Max win the season, trust 🙏🙏

→ logansargeant i did??

username13 @therealyn_ln he saved my goldfish from a burning house. trust. 🙏

username14 @therealyn_ln logan saved my family from an airplane crash, trust me fr 🙏

oscarpiastri @therealyn_ln logan gave america it’s first f1 points in 30 years, he’s that good 🙏

→ logansargeant not you too oscar pastry 😞 → oscarpiastri i take that back, you killed my koala 👎 → username15 HELLO????

therealyn_ln

therealyn_ln guys, logan stole my heart and still hasn’t given it back 😞

tagged ; logansargeant

1,990 comments

username15 OML FINALLY A FIRST DATE

username16 OUR PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED 🙏

oscarpiastri thank god, i had enough of logan’s fan girling every day

[3liza]

update on this: the event was canceled when the venue found out the promoter is a terf. I have no idea why the promoter was even trying to (secretly? or maybe just sneakily?) book a radfem show at Purgatory in Brooklyn, which is explicitly a queer/trans venue judging by their events and the trans and queer icons and flags on the attendees and event photos and Instagram bio, surely there are hundreds of venues in NYC that are unfriendly to trans people anyway and would have booked the show. very puzzling to try to book THIS venue specifically, tag it and advertise it as gender critical and radfem on Tumblr, but then also say "this is not a radfem event". I'm not being sarcastic here, I really can't follow the promoter's logic. this post from a few days ago is pretty odd:

you have "a system in mind"? what does that mean? you're going to alter hand stamps or wristband colors based on the biometrics of the attendees? she didn't say that was the "system", im just pulling it out of my ass. i wonder what she had in mind

likewise, f1ghtsoftly erased a few posts from the frontpage of their blog since yesterday, the usual terf posts about how lonely she is because her friends either don't want to be around her because of the transphobia, or have actually transitioned. the show flyer and post is also gone. I'm guessing this was a last ditch effort to obscure the promotion of the event using radfem/terf tags but idk

the Buttress thing is sort of a larger issue but is incredibly depressing. people on the buttress reddit pointed out that they sort of didn't think Ethel Cain et al would be friends with Buttress if Buttress was a capital-T TERF, and when I was mutuals with Buttress on twitter years ago we used to talk all the time and I didn't hear any terf bullshit from her then either, but it was a long time ago. I don't know her IRL. I want to cope and say she's just fence-sitting and doesn't actually understand what's at stake here but she's well into her 30s or 40s and is a big girl. she went on f1ghtsoftly's zero-listener "radical Marxist feminism" podcast a few days ago. haven't listened to it so idk what the contents were.

I like to imagine that Buttress, who has an enormously queer and trans fan base, has a greater than Zardoz-level analysis of gender and sex, but who knows. if there was a yellow designation on Shinigami Eyes that's what I would be using for Buttress rn.

she was asked to comment on these posts (which are from a decade ago iirc) and appeared to disavow them, but also didn't specifically say "that was nasty shit i said and i dont agree with it anymore" so this appears to be a subject of debate currently

edit2:

sure, by all means reach out

uh oh. is the Buttress a terf now. if so this is catastrophic news, shes one of the greats

[nancydrewwouldnever]

I am the anon who mentioned this isn't PR, wouldn't be good PR , Backgrid, how the fandom wondered why Chris doesn't have the same career as his peers, and wasted potential. I'm going to get into observations I've made since coming to the fandom in 2020 after watching Snowpiercer.

I feel further validated by the latest events.

What we're seeing is the Chris before Marvel PR cleaned him up. He was always a fuckboi pre Marvel. He hasn't changed or evolved. He surrounds himself with yes people who never challenge him or encourage him to level up because they know if he did they would get left behind and lose the freebies he gives them. The saying "You're the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with" applies here. His friend group appears to be immature, thirsty, and too overly involved in his life. Just because they knew him before fame doesn't mean anything. I think there have been quality women he dated who were turned off by his clique of friends always in their business and face. Not to mention the same vacations, the same restaurants, the same everything. Groundhog Day. Who wants to date someone like that?

I didn't realize Jim Toth use to be his agent. Look at what he did for his wife Reese Witherspoon. Reese gave an interview explaining that she had aged out and was unhappy with her career. She said Jim pushed her to create her production company which she did. She also used Jim's connections to launch Draper James, her book club, podcast, and other ventures. Jim also helped rebrand Matthew McConaughey. He had the Golden Year for Dallas Buyer's Club and True Detective. He turned down the Wolf of Wall Street that got Jonah Hill an Academy Award nomination because of money. I'm sure Jim tried to get him to the next level.

Chris directed one movie. It didn't get the response he wanted yet he didn't seek directing gigs on television to hone his skills. Denzel Washington directed episodes of Grey's Anatomy. Other actors and actresses have done the same. Defending Jacob didn't get awards recognition so he returns to comfort zone of romantic comedies and action films instead of trying again with the drama genre. Look at his ex Jessica. She created her production company when she didn't get the roles she wanted. The Sinner and Candy changed her career for the better. Chris is capable of so much more with his career. He gives up after one try.

The latest mess is just his immaturity and wanting to be a rebel. He'll retreat when he becomes a punchline while being compared to Dane Cook and John Mayer. That's where this train is headed if this goes public. He has coasted off his reputation for being kind to fans, crew members, and staff. That gets celebrities a lot of leeway with fans when we have other celebrities who make staff and fans miserable.

His messiness is more on display due to social media and not having Marvel backing him. Studios heavily invested in certain actors and actresses always keep their PR image intact.

He will either become a cliched joke or find his own version of Amal Clooney.

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes, Anon. (BTW, would you like to pick an emoji for future use as an ask tag?)

I do think people don't understand how much benefit he got from having two PR teams, Disney and Megan, cleaning up behind him from 2011-2019. We've already seen the "oopsies" that have started happening once Disney/Marvel dipped out. And now that he's full-blown in the messiness of a mid-life crisis, who knows what else we'll see.

But, I'm not seeing anything over the last couple of days that changed my mind from "situationship" that has PR angles unfortunately attached. I don't think it makes it somehow more special that he coasted up in NYC for some Broadway shows when he's got some filming downtime. If nothing else, to me it just makes it look even more like an arranged meet-up.

[quiteriana]

thank you so much @vampyr3wife for tagging me<33💌💌

relationship status: single

favorite color: pink!

favorite food: I've never had a favorite food tbh. I have favorite ingredients though: spinach, yellow squash, mushroom, and pine nuts

song stuck in my head: "daydreamer" by aurora

last thing i googled: is fatalism bad

time: 9:33 pm

dream trip: I’m always dreaming of visiting a beautiful and busy city, where all the lights shine at night and there's boutiques for window-shopping and wonderful restaurants and theaters. NYC comes to mind. I just want to go to a place that feels very alive, and also kind of chic. That, or a meditation retreat in Thailand

always nervous to tag people but I'll do it ♡♡ @and-you-found-me @heartsafekeeping @nepxthe @carebearpear @sugrrcookie @icemaidneva @cherryjoon @dreamyeyesandfoggyminds @mycrystalvenus

(you're more than free to ignore this)

[navalcriminalimagines]

Missed shot - Part 2

i'm so surprised about how the first part was received!!! thank you so much! <3 i'm not sure where i'm going with this, but i am going and i'm having fun writing this story!! i really hope you're going to love the part! part 3 coming soon!! much love

warnings : smut, oral, p in v

words: 4,048

tags: @being-worthy @impossibleblizzardstudentposts @wanniiieeee @naniky @word-scribbless @martinaciceri @inlovewith3 @stars-in-the-skies-world @mylovelyreblogs

A lot can happen in a year.

Two days before you left NYC, Rafael showed up at your place, late at night. Tom was sleeping, while you were still preparing everything to leave. Luckily, you had an arrangement with your landlord and your apartment will be yours again when you’ll come back from Sweden. When you heard knocks at your door around midnight, you wondered who it might be.

You opened the door to find Rafael. You could tell from his body language that something was off. “Hola hermosa,” he mumbled. “Did I wake you up?” he asked.

“Nah, don’t worry. Are you drunk, Raf?”

He hummed in answer. He didn’t mean to get drunk. At first, he just needed a drink to calm his nerves. Then he made the mental decision to come talk to you, but he needed the liquid courage for that. You extended your hand to him, and he softly slid his into it. You made him sit on the couch, before grabbing some water in the kitchen.

He didn’t drink it though. When you sat very close to him, Rafael just buried his face in your neck, “Please, don’t go,” he whispered. “Por favor, stay here. Quédate conmigo,” he added. You didn’t have to speak Spanish to understand what he meant. You stayed silent, just gently stroking his hair. “I’ll take care of you, and Tom. I’ll learn how to be a stepdad. I’ll never push you away like I did. Lo prometo. I’ll be the best man you could ask for,”

You tried to fight the tears that were threatening to fall. A part of you really wants that. You really want him, and everything he can give you. “I made a promise to my dad and my son, Raf. And to be honest, I really want to spend this year in Sweden,”

He nodded to that, before finally looking at you. His eyes were full of hope. “I’ll come with you then,” he said. You sadly chuckled.

“You’re Cuban, you’re hardly surviving here. You won’t survive Swedish weather,”

“With you, I’ll survive anywhere in the world,”

There was a silence. A long one. Rafael just wanted you to agree. He’ll drop everything to follow, he didn’t have much anyway, except for his job and his mother. And all Lucia wants is for her son to be happy and finally settle, even if it’s thousands of miles away from her. You gently squeezed his hand and took a deep breath.

“It’s a lot to process in a few days, Rafael. To be honest, I’m scared. I spent years thinking that you didn’t like me, that—we’d never be an item. I got lost and thought I had feelings for Sonny. So did he,” you saw a bit of anger on Rafael’s face when you pronounced Sonny’s name. “But that’s not it. Sonny and I had a long talk yesterday, we’re better friends. He’s still in love with his ex-boyfriend and I’m hopelessly in love with you,” now it was questions in his eyes. “Yeah, Sonny’s bisexual, but don’t tell him I told you. He’s not out—obviously. Which is why Sam broke up with him. Poor man was tired to be a secret,”

“Not I don’t care about Carisi—I’m actually relieved to know that. But I’m more interested in the you being hopelessly in love with me. Why can’t I come with you, then?”

“I need to be sure it wasn’t a spur the moment thing for you. And this trip is a very personal thing. It’s a family thing. Tom and I need to do that, for my dad, and for my mum,” the tears that had been threatening for minutes finally got out. “For years, my father wanted to go back to Sweden. He actually spent most of his life longing for this moment. But my mum always refused—for me, and Tom. She didn’t want to be thousands of miles away from us. So, before she died, she asked me to promise her to do that. To realize my father’s dream and live over there as a family. Even if it’s just for a year,”

You softly cried and it was Rafael’s turn to comfort you. He wrapped his arms around you and let you cry in his chest. He gently kissed your hair. “I’ll wait for you to come back, then,” he just said. Nothing more needed to be said.

When you were calm, Rafael took his chance. He softly grabbed your chin between his fingers and lift your head so his lips could meet yours. You let it go, you wanted this. You don’t know how things will be in a year. The kiss was soft and gentle at first, almost chaste. Until Rafael asked access with his tongue, which you happily granted. His hand got in your back, sliding under your top to feel your burning slin. Rafael brought you closer to him. Quickly, you were sitting on his lap, kissing him all teeth and tongue. He was about to take your top off, but you stopped him, “Let’s move this to the bedroom,” He happily obliged.

On the edge of the bed, you stood on your knees, extended your arms to Rafael. He fondly smiled at you, firmly grabbed your waist so you could lay you on the bed. He covered your body with his, kissing you passionately. Your hands were traveling in his hair and all over his body. He let you undress him and so did you. Rafael desperately wanted to be inside you like two weeks before, but he also wanted to take his time. He didn’t want this night to end. “We’ll have to be quiet,” you warned him between two kisses.

“I’m not the one that cry of pleasure last time,” he teased, while his and were dangerously traveling south.

“I’ve been louder,” you said, with malice in your eyes. Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not, but Rafael doesn’t want to know anything about your past lovers. He shot you a glare and you softly laughed. The lawyer can’t remember the last time he shared a laugh during sex, or even if it ever happened. He realized now that it makes things way more intimate than kinks.

Your laugh turned into a moan, as Rafael started to play with your clit. “That’s not fair to challenge me right now, kitten,” he growled and kissed you one more time before moving his mouth where his hand was. He licked your center a few times, teasing you. “So wet, already,” he hummed. His hot breath on your pussy brought you shivers.

“Don’t be such a tease, Raf,” you said. He did so a few more times, chuckling at your body’s reaction, but he was loving it. He loves how your body arch, desperately needing his mouth.

He didn’t make you wait much more; Rafael went to work. The way you taste is intoxicating. Rafael ate you like a starving man. He knew you were close when your legs had him trapped, and you bit so hard the back of your hand to prevent yourself from making any noise. He wishes he could hear you cry his name, as you came on his face.

Rafael prepped your face with soft kisses as you came down from your orgasm. “One day, it’ll be just us and you’re going to cry so loud, all New York will hear it,” he whispered in your ear. It wasn’t a wish; it was a promise. You kissed him, tasting yourself on his tongue.

“So, your ego does extend to the bedroom,” you smiled and hopped on him. You kissed your way down to his hard cock. He didn’t have the strength to answer your sarcastic comment. When your tongue met his length, he was a goner.

When you two had sex two weeks before, there was no foreplay, no teasing. Both of you were so desperate to be intimate, you quickly told him where the condoms were and in a short moment, he was buried inside you.

How many times had Rafael imagine you suck his cock… he lost the count a while ago. But the reality was much better than anything he ever imagined. Your mouth fits perfectly around his cock, like it was made for it. He watched you bobbing his head in and out, his hand holding your hair in a ponytail. If he thinks about it, it hasn’t been long since he had a blowjob, but it feels like it was new. You knew what to do, when to do it.

You played with his balls for a moment, looking at him with so much desire. When you took him again in your mouth, Rafael had to pull on your hair. “I’m so close, hermosa,” he breathed out. “I want to your pussy around my cock,” he added and you obliged.

You grabbed a condom from the nightstand, put it on his length. Then you aligned yourself and sat on him so slowly, it was overwhelming. Rafael fought his urge to bury himself deep inside, he let you take the lead. You pressed your body against his, kissed him, as you slowly rode his cock.

At some point, the way you moved your hips drove him crazy. “Oh, baby,” he uncontrollably moaned. “Fuck!” He grabbed your hips hard to make you stop. Then he used his strength to pin you on the bed. He was taking the lead. He thrust into you hard and deep. The noises you were trying to hold but fail, was the permission he needed. Rafael quickened his thrusts, shoved your hand away when you try to rub your clit, “That’s my job,” he said and furiously – but expertly – rubbed your clit for you.

It wasn’t long before you came hard on his cock, and Rafael followed your lead.

Neither of you thought about the morning. You and Rafael fell asleep, naked bodies against one another.

Knocks woke you up. “Mum! Are you awake?”

You didn’t move, it was Rafael who jumped from the bed. You saw the panic in his eyes, and you laughed. “I’ll be up in a minute, baby,” you answered to Tom and focused on Rafael who was trying to find his clothes.

“You do realize that there’s no way for you to get out of here without my son seeing you?” Rafael was about to say something, but Tom was faster, “What does Rafael take for breakfast?”

You laughed even more at Rafael’s face, “Coffee is fine, thanks love,” you answered.

“How does he know? Did he—hear—?”

“We were quiet. But you left your jacket in the living room, and honey—you snore,”

Rafael sat back on the bed, relaxing. He understood that Tom knew anyway.

“You have one very smart and observant kid,” he said, softly kissing you, “Morning amor,” the kiss was too chaste to your liking, so you grabbed his face and kissed him deeply.

“Hey you,” you smiled.

Once fully clothed, you and Rafael got out of the bedroom. You hugged your son, and Rafael stood there, not knowing what he should do. Shake his hand? Kiss his forehead? How do you greet your girl’s teenage kid?

Tom gave Rafael a coffee mug, “Thanks Tomas. I hope I didn’t wake you up when I showed up last night,”

“I heard the knocks but went back to sleep right after. No worries,”

Definitely, Tom is your younger version. Just as sweet, nice and welcoming. He imagined himself at Tom’s place, and he doesn’t know if he would have had the same reaction. But Rafael is glad this is how Tom reacted.

You had a lot to do during that day. The reality hit Rafael hard when he remembered that you were leaving the next day. “I don’t really like goodbyes,” you said, while Tom was the bathroom. “You’re gonna go to work like any other day, and we’ll meet again next year, okay?” you stroked his cheek. Rafael’s hands were softly resting on your hips.

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

“If it meant to be, it will be,”

Rafael knew this year would be hard, but not this hard. It was killing him to be away from you. You two kept contact, you texted through WhatsApp almost daily, you facetimed as much as possible. But still, you were on the other side of the world. And anything could happen. He had a list of fears: - you staying there forever

- You meeting someone else

- You not wanting to be with him anymore

- You saying it was all a mistake

It was driving him so crazy that he made mistakes. Mistakes in his job, and in his life. There was a hole in his chest that he tried to fill one night, with some woman he met at a bar. He felt horrible in the morning, like he cheated on you. But you told him multiple times he didn’t have to wait for you, you didn’t want any promises. Would you be mad if you knew?

Rafael knew that your friendship with Sonny got even stronger after you left. And Sonny is like a hero for Tom. It was months after you left that Rafael finally took an opportunity to talk with the detective. “Carisi, can you stay for a minute?” he asked. Sonny was just dropping some file at first.

“Sure. What’s up, Barba?” he asked, sitting across Rafael’s desk.

“Y/N. I know you know,”

“Yeah…” Sonny gave a look full of questions to the ADA.

“I—I don’t know where to stand. What to expect,”

“Barba, she’s the one you should talk with,”

“I’m afraid of her answers,” Rafael sternly said. “Just—does she tell you about me? If so, what does she say?”

Sonny sighed. “She loves you, Barba. Really loves you. Shouldn’t this be enough? Just be patient,” the detective was about to leave again, thinking he told Rafael what he needed to hear.

“I screwed up,” Sonny heard. He turned around, seeing Rafael holding his face in his hands.

“How so?”

Rafael told him about spending the night with a stranger. Sonny didn’t appreciate hearing that, knowing it may hurt you, but he didn’t blame Rafael either. You two weren’t in the long-distance relationship. No promises. Just “wait and see”. “Should I tell her?” Rafael asked.

“I believe in honesty and communication, so yes,”

Rafael hummed in answer. He was afraid of your reaction. “Thanks, Carisi. I won’t hold you any longer,”

“For what it’s worth, Y/N misses you as much as you miss her. She’s just not showing it,”

It took several days for Rafael to find the braveness to tell you about what he did. But if he’s doing it, it’s over facetime. Not a text. He listened as you told him about the latest news from Sweden, watching how amazed you are by your time there. As you talked, he imagined what it would have been like if you agreed to take him with you. He would be freezing to death, but at least, he would be with you.

“What about you, Raf? What’s new?” you asked, bringing him back to reality.

“I—nothing much. Work as always,”

“Hmm, are you okay? You seem off? Tired maybe?” so attentive, it makes his heart arch.

“I need to tell you something, Y/N,”

“Sure. I’m listening,”

Rafael took a few deep breaths and you patiently waited. No pressuring him. You never did and that’s not who you are; that’s one thing he loves about you. “I—I spent the night—with someone,” he was nervously moving his hands. You could get angry, you could hang up, you could cry. “I’m so sorry. I mean, I have no excuses, except that I feel so alone without you, but—“

“Raf—” you stopped him. It was only then that he realized his eyes were watering. “It’s okay,” you said.

Rafael thought he misheard, “It’s okay?” he repeated.

“Yeah. I mean—I’m not happy you did, obviously. But I won’t blame you either. We aren’t dating. I told you not to wait for me,”

“That’s the thing, Y/N. When I woke up in the morning, I was more convinced that I only wanted to be with you. It’s you, amor,” a single tear escape from his left eye. He didn’t bother to hide it.

“Love, if you cry, I’m gonna cry too,” you warned him, “I didn’t expect to miss you as much as I am right now. I miss you so much, it hurts, Rafael,” you were crying too now. “Tell me you won’t see that someone again,”

“Oh god no! Never. Not her, not anyone else,”

“Only five months left, okay?” you tried to smile through your tears. “Unless…” you started to say.

“Unless?”

“Do you have plans for Christmas?”

The following month, Rafael was flying to Sweden for Christmas. It was the longest fly he ever took. The plane landed around 4:30pm in Stockholm, it was already night dark outside. He traveled the airport, looking for you everywhere. He was dying to see you again.

“Rafael!” it wasn’t the voice he expected. He turned around, only to see Tomas. Rafael took a few quick steps to him and to his own surprise, he hugged the teenager. It was awkward, but he did. And Tom returned the hug. “Mum tried to wait but she needed to go to the bathroom, she’ll be here a minute,”

Indeed, while Tom was asking Rafael how the flight was, you arrived. Rafael had his back to you, you quietly walked to him and put your hands to cover his eyes. Rafael’s smiles widen, he turned around to pick you up. He kissed you like you haven’t seen each other in years. From Tom’s eyes, it almost looked like a movie scene. “Sorry to interrupt you guys, but pop is waiting for us,”

As he was preparing his trip, Rafael only focused about seeing you again. There are a few times he didn’t consider. One of them is meeting all your family from your dad’s side and the second… none of them talked English. Months ago, he surprised you by learning about to say “I miss you,” in Swedish, (and “I love you”, but he didn’t tell you that one) but that’s it. This should be fun.

The weather was difficult. His Cuban blood was suffering. But he quickly understood why you’re always so amazed to talk about this country. It’s beautiful, and somehow, refreshing. Your family was from Uppsala, an hour away from Stockholm. It was an opposite world from New York. The only noises you hear at night are the wild animals. Everything was wood and fire.

“Y/N told me you love scotch,” your father said, offering a glass of scotch to Rafael, as he was enjoying the fireplace.

“Oh, thank you. You didn’t have to buy some just for me,” Rafael smiled. “It may be too late now that I’m here, but I really hope you don’t mind me spending Christmas with you,”

“Let’s make a few things clear; if I had said no to my daughter, she would have rented a house for you three to stay in. And I’ve been hearing about you for years now, I almost feel like I know you,”

“Seriously?” Rafael smiled wider. He loves to know that kind of information.

“Yeah. You’ve been her obsession from day one. She used to say that it was because you didn’t like her and she didn’t know why, but my wife and I were no fools,”

“I liked her, that’s why I kept my distance,”

“I’m glad you finally came to your senses, son. You won’t find a better girl than her,” the word “son” resonated in Rafael. When his own father put this word or “hijo” at the end of a sentence, it was always a threat, it meant that young Rafael was in trouble. But it didn’t sound like this coming from your father. It was warming.

“I know that. Thank you for trusting me,” he said before taking a sip.

“I trust you because Y/N trust you. And also, I have no doubt that you’re better than Tom’s shitty genitor,”

Rafael realized how crazy all of this is. He doesn’t know much about you. He can easily list the things he does know because it’s not much at all. He knows you were a teen mom, but what happened exactly back then? He has no idea.

“He really was that bad?”

“Well—at 20, would you have disappeared when your sixteen-year-old girlfriend told you she was pregnant?”

“Wouldn’t have been easy, but no. I’d have stayed,”

“That bastard didn’t. But somehow, I’m glad he didn’t. Last we heard, he was in prison,”

Rafael almost choked on his drink. He didn’t see that one coming. He wanted your father to keep talking but you chose that moment to reappear from the kitchen, where you and Tom had been making dinner. You stood in front of Rafael, grab his drink from his hand to take a sip. “Dinner’s ready,” you said, giving him back the glass. You gently kissed his forehead and then high five with your dad, “Enough talking about me behind my back,” you said with a chuckle, looking over your shoulder, as you walked away. Rafael is crazy about you. How a young, smart, beautiful, amazing woman like you can be in love with him? It doesn’t make sense.

After dinner, the jetlag hit Rafael. It was early but you went to bed with him anyway, leaving your father and your son playing board games downstairs. Your bedroom was small but cozy. Rafael took a shower before dinner, so he simply striped in his briefs and faxed himself under the covers, “I may need some PJs for the rest of this trip,” he said, laying in a fetal position, so he could warm up.

“I told you,” you chuckled, striping in just your panties. “You’re staring,”

“That’s my right, now. God, you’re so beautiful,” he said, almost whispering.

Even with the dim light, he could see you blushing. You got under the covers, and Rafael didn’t waste any time to use your body heat to warm up. Your lips found their way to his, he quickly understood where you wanted this to go, “Baby,” he said between two kisses. “I’m scared I may sound old but—”

“Jetlag?” you finished for him.

“Yeah. You don’t mind, do you?”

He thought a lot about the age difference. But those little things make him feel so old. You may get tired of this, eventually.

“Of course not, love. You’re here, that’s all that matters,” you held him close to you.

Rafael was exhausted, but he knew he wouldn’t fall asleep unless he spoke his mind. “Tell me one thing about you, that I don’t know,” he said.

“What?”

“I realized that—we actually don’t know much about each other. How about we say one thing about each other every night?”

“I like that idea,” you said, kissing his hair. “So, I’m starting?” Rafael hummed in answer, and you took a moment to think, “any particular request?” you asked, not knowing what first information you should give him.

“Hmm… what your pregnancy? Tom’s father?”

“Is that what it is about? You wanting to know about him?” you didn’t sound angry; you didn’t even move away from him. But Rafael didn’t know what to make of your reaction.

“No—I mean, it’s an important part of your life. And I don’t know anything except that you were 17 when you had Tom,”

“Cause there’s nothing more to say. I got pregnant at 16 and my boyfriend ran away. And I won’t say more about him,”

“Because he’s in prison?” Rafael thought. “Okay, I understand. I’m sorry if I upset you,”

“That’s fine, Raf,”

A heavy silence filled the air.

“I used to play violin,” you said, out of nowhere. Rafael smiled at that.

“I need to hear that,” he said, softly caressing your stomach.

“Nah, I haven’t touch it in years,”

He got on his elbow, locking his eyes into yours. “If you play, I’ll sing,”