#if you're on this blog i assume u know the him i am referring to

[kindahoping4forever]

Tour promo videos via dgmedios and dfallaccess

[intertexts]

since I can't talk about my favorite bits that made me go AUGH bc of things you dont know about yet. give me ur favorite bit. what was ur favorite bit in that fic. gimme the authors notes behind the scenes ramble

AUAUAUAUA.... u r so nice 2 meee godddd what the hell. exploding u💥💥💥!!!!!!!!!!! ANYWAY. OK. OK. AUTHORS NOTES.

things i included that i am VERY IFFY ON but nevertheless went for:

>i think there's like 70/30 odds that they (dakota) try to do the putting ashe's headphones with thank you scientist or smth blaring on him to try & bring him back thing. can't tell you if it'll work or not but it has to come up. nevertheless i think if u were stuck in yr head for a year with the fucking trickster u would appreciate some quiet!!!!!! & its just. idk man. that's what i'd spiral over. what if one day u wake up n u don't even like all the stuff u love anymore. etc.

>I'M ALSO TAKING. A REALLY FUCKING LONG SHOT by explicitly referring to wiwi as alive? honestly? like it's a 50/50, i think that all the stuff w/ the heart etc should continue to have thematic resonance, but also i don't know how that will work with the wisps when they..... return? (<- using this word in the loosest possible way i just don't know how else to say it. when theyre onscreen again??) i'm sure the wisp thing gets some resolution i have no doubt. and i don't know if "whisperer william" and "alive body traits" are mutually exclusive. idk. idk. we'll see!!

>i'm assuming tide will make another appearance b4 the season ends. idgaf if he shows in deadwood or not i fucking HOPE NOT but i just thought man. he Would come to bring them all back n take care of them. i think he and mark should get to have a really long slightly more. real? conversation on how much parenting fucking sucks and is stressful and terrifying and they feel bad at it.

MY FAVORITE BIT. goddd. iiii. ok. i have a lot of Thoughts on wingfics & idk. i guess i always think they're a bit too easy. u have wings that u Never Ever Let Anyone Touch Except Family And Lovers and u Let Someone Preen Them and what-- there isn't even any terrifying indecipherable swirl of emotions about it?? it isn't even scary?? (& also the whole Why Is It Good When People Touch Ur Wings. "because it is" okay??? and why then?? i also am guilty of this but at least theres like. two sentences about it.) & when there's hybrid shit & its like ok suddenly u woke up with Searing Pain in ur back and things writhing around in there breaking through yr skin and bone to get out and-- thats IT??? there isn't even gonna be any lasting trauma about it? you're not even gonna feel weird about being permanently Different now? it isn't even inconvenient and painful?? so ig that's like-- the core of this one, lmao. obviously i have. Thoughts and Feelings on the whole prime nonconsensually and irrevocably changing ur body defenders thing. like. of course. thesis statement of my blog. & i have thoughts about. being a vessel & not getting any say in it, ig. idk. i hate when people take my stuff without asking!! the idea of someone taking my ME without asking is like, viscerally terrifying 2 me. not unpacking that moving on etc.... my favorite bit is ig ashe having conflicting and messy emotions on liking the way it feels. freaking out and trying 2 stonewall it out & eventually just. letting himself have the good thing. oversharing 9pm time but idk... ashe is a little Like Me in that he was a fucking shut in & never had friends until he was a teenager and doesn't really. know much about it? didn't have much experience in it? so he's really satisfying to write not in a projection-y way but an ah! i KNOW what this is like i can write this correctly!! very scary!!!! very 24/7 butterflies in ur stomach!! OH. I LIED. ACTUALLY. my favorite bit is ashe unconsciously using words & such abt capacitors and voltage and electricity etc. bc of growing up with an electrician dad :] very very small and minor but i have a lot of fucking emotions abt it actually!!! anyway. yeag <333

other behind the scenes thing: in my head wiwi is freaking the FUCK out the entire time he is going shit SHIT SHIT i'm so fucking bad at this shittttttttttttt is this what it's like for dakota to deal with me. is this what i'm like. shit. what do vynce and dakota do. hes like. cartoon running putting down the tracks just in front of the train this entire time <33 this is important to me.

[evildoombringer]

hi nakamura (i'm. not entirely sure which name you prefer to go by,,)

i. don't really know, personally, the depths of hurt that came from min leaving can't claim either. to understand what your going through right now

you both seem really close. it was always funny, to  read ur asks that you'd send i remember reading the "happy morning" one you sent and it had like this image of a smiling kid for some reason, for like a solid 5 months i just thought "oh cool, so that's what they look like:0" before i looked back and thought, "huh wait. they always added (very funny,  mind you) meme/pics to their asks. was that pic a meme too-?" and only then did i realize lmao

looking back on his responses, i can almost hear the amused tone or, however min would react. lol it was nice to see him talking to people who cared about him

im. not really sure what to say, without coming off as like.. pretentious.? but. if i can just assume for one second, from the asks they'd answer of yours, to everything i hear about min from all the people who know him, i. i. assume he really cared for you, and. i assume you cared for him as much.,

i dont. know your situation, at all. min had. already made up his mind when i even found his blog. so, just. i hope you'll be able to make a decision, you'll be. happy with

the future could get better. it could get worse i can't really see which one it'll be. i don't understand how close you and min were, at all but know. you arent alone im not sure, if you need to. understand or know someone to be there for them,but from the looks of it, min was. never really alone if he had you. so,i hope you also know your not alone there'are people here for you

im sorry. this is probably, meaningless to you in hindsight i just. yeah. in the end, whatever you choose is your decision but. your not alone im sorry if this comes off as assuming.  please. feel free to ignore this ask, if it oversteps in anyway or is just uncomfortable. i know sometimes one might just want- to vent and let it all out and the to have that acknowledged or responsded to might be. uncomfortable i. hope i didnt come off that way

but .yeah,

nice to. meet you by thw way. O(∩w∩)O (im sorry the kaomoji is so out of place jhsjsh i just remembered that one ask u sent hh)

hi custard

it hurts that he's gone, obviously, and i just haven't been on Tumblr for a minute, so seeing everything again is having a terrible effect on my psyche (ill live though haha). im just super weird about him and i realize that uhh nobody really knows that. but I'm super . . weird about him and uhhh yeah and um i regret everything lol

im surprised you thought i was a young chinese boy :sob: but. i understand how you could make that.... mistake.....

did you know the :smile: :sob: thing is a discord reference? :sob: is 😭 and :grimace: is 😬. if you're on a phone and u type the emoji out it should probably pop up, and the same thing happened on discord so he. um would do that when posting on Tumblr too out of habit, and i guess it eventually became a Min-Pal staple haha

and yeah he definitely cares about me, and im mad at him because he cares about me and left me his emails and shit to take care of and he did that because he knew im. weird and needed more than old messages and tumblr posts and i . m glad he did do all that and i love having some stuff to hold onto like his Spotify but. it's just upsetting i guess, since you know, id rather have him.

its really funny seeing how other people view him, to me, at least, i guess since i got to see not just him being bad-pathetic but him bad-bad in general (and I'm not going to explain further than this, as i, despite claiming to find it funny, am happier than not that he died with a t least a somewhat positive. Uh. Perception.)

idk I'm not like, a great persoj, and i did Just let him die instead of going to unimaginable lengths. and I regret that everyday, but he was so steadfast. he just didn't care anymore , and he had me to talk to but it was like he didn't care about trying (because once he decided he'd died, what really mattered past that?) Ssorry this is all so congested and contradictory and I make no sense

and, id love to believe you when you say stuff like "you're not alone" but it's terrible because I really am. like it's out of personal fault, but even the people I feel as though I could go to for help, I coukdnt bring myself to,, not when it's anything Too serious,, not to mention the fact I just got dumped because he said I was 'unhealthy' (after 10 months of reassuring me that its ok if I am cuz he'll help... but that's. A whole different thing and has nothing to do with min and I'm just bitter and bringing him up out of.... bitterness.)

and im glad u left the ask mikey i really am

idk it's just kinda sweet. now I feel more like angel and saki..... Auuuhhuhhh

i don't know what to do in any regard currently though so I think I'm just gonna continue mourning something that's been gone for a year now. Someone. and being bitter and upset, and reminiscing and trying his memory into music I like (and emailing my bf. [not considering him an ex] [email cuz he blocked my number] obsessively until he decides to take me back)

[shinycollarboneapologist]

omg I can't believe people are interacting with me... maybe I need to actually make my blog public lol! honestly being a non-binary matty girlie is a difficult one but I see it as "girlie (genderless)" like when you say "go piss girl" you can say that to anyone regardless of gender (please tell me you get that reference and I don't sound insane)

I'm so so glad people are actually excited about this fic... I haven't even started writing it yet but I'm getting a chaper plan sorted!!! sorry mother shinycollorboneapologist for getting bothered ab me but ngl it's so cool to see people interacting with my silly little concept :)))

not my lottiecrabie ask being mentioned omg, I wrote it at 3am in a line cook matty delusion!!

also, I forgot to ask HOW DO YOU HATE BARTENDER GEORGE?!? we need to discuss this bc I am a stan (you are my no.1 fav, but bartender george is up there)

thanks for being so nice y'all I'm actually so happy to talk to human beings eeee (I'm assuming you're humans but with the number of porn bots on tumblr who knows)

lots of love bestie!!!

-ace

the people love u! and i for one am one of those people!!!

idk why but girlie (genderless) made me GIGGLE. go piss girl is gender neutral and is in my daily verbiage at all times. it’s a bad day if i don’t say it at least once.

never apologize! i think it’s so sweet that everyone wants to hear more from you, i love being the vessel that brings you adoration LOL. (also i rly rly rly want u to expand on ur concept ok)

line cook matty has me … feral.

I DO NOT HATE HIM. ok it was a moment of weakness and so what, what if my type in men is the “where my hug at” men. i meant it as a term of endearment 🥲 nobody thinks what i think.

WE LOVE U HERE ON TUMBLR.COM

i wanted to say maybe i am a porn b*t but i didn’t want to get deleted by tumblr.com

LOVE UUUU

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Anon Asks ! (+one NSFW one below)

1. Awe, you're not selfish. I completely understand why you feel left out. Unfortunately, people already read my SFW stuff at such a lower rate that I'm afraid a SFW Series would totally bomb. Unless I was extremely motivated, I don't see myself being able to do it.

Do me a favor and send me another Anon about SFW Series recommendations. I just asked my Discord, but I want to give them some time to respond!

2. You are so wonderful. Thank you for sending me such a lovely message not once, but twice. I appreciate you taking your time to read my work and then go even further and tell me about it.

I hope you have the best day ever 😭

3. They've been friends since they were teenagers! Las Vegas is a surprisingly small place, all things considered. They promised him back then they would let him direct a music video if they ever made it big. It's very cute.

4. Who, me? Naaah, I'm just a worm 😉 (does anyone recognize this reference? or do I just look silly?)

5. I'm assuming this is about Quid Pro Quo (although it could also be about Fuzzy Pants, lol), and I'm so happy you think so! I was worried it'd be a bit too niche, but it's great to see people enjoying it 🤗

6. I don't think I'll be able to swing a whole series of that, but I do have a couple Virgin Post-Prison Spencer WIPs. I also plan on writing a Virgin Spencer mini-series after TB&TB (called Centerfold), but it takes place when he's in graduate school/ten years later.

7. Ah, you are so sweet. And yes, I have been writing quite a lot of that lanky fucker, huh... The truth is, my answer is very simple and can be summed up in a very funny way. How do I keep writing him?

✨ a u t i s m ✨

I can honestly say I have never, ever bored myself out of anything. Other things just became more interesting for a little while. Matthew was one of my first ever special interests as a young teen. I cycle through mine for periods of a couple years at a time (I popped in here hot off my Naruto re-emergence).

Whereas a lot of people go through interests in much shorter bursts (especially those with ADHD), autistic people have a tendency to fixate for much, much longer periods. There is nothing wrong with you, we are just different ☺️

I use the "Other" MGG characters to grant myself the freedom to do other things. I honestly really wanted this to be a multi-fandom blog, but I was immediately inundated with Spencer requests that never stopped.

Maybe one day I'll introduce another obsession, but I don't see it in my immediate future. I usually have a pretty good warning that I'm slipping out of the fandom. Right now I'm mostly just sad people are leaving. I'm still going strong though, lmao!

8. I'm a firm believer in the idea that Laziness Does Not Exist, but I totally understand. You're actually describing something experienced by ALL writers, although having ADHD will no doubt exacerbate the problems. I do not have ADHD, but the good news is that ADHD has a large number of treatment options (both pharmaceutical and otherwise).

I think you can talk to a trusted adult about it if you'd like. I know very little about the diagnostic process of ADHD, but I do know that it's significantly more straightforward than most autistic testing. A number of my friends got a diagnosis in less than a month (granted, they are all adults, and their parents were willing to cooperate).

A diagnosis won't make your parents (or anyone else) believe you, though. It's just one of those things you have to learn to deal with. But with the case of ADHD specifically, because there are pharmaceutical treatments, it might be worth it. I personally absolutely abhor stimulants (and am also medically contraindicated). But I'm autistic, so they don't help me, lol!

As for being more motivated generally, I think a lot of it is literally just forcing yourself to do it. You have to get over this idea of writing it perfect and just start writing SOMETHING, even if it's garbage. You can always edit it.

Fanfiction is so much easier with this because it doesn't have to be perfect, or even good (lol). It's just for fun! It's not an easy thing to do, but it is so rewarding. I know a lot of people in my Discord like utilizing our Writer Bot to have writing "sprints" where you are timed and see how many words you can write in short bursts.

Not how I function, but it works for some people! We are all different, and that's what makes us wonderful 🥰

9. Awwwe, I have so many Hozier songs on their playlist! I listen to him whenever I need general inspiration. Like most basic white bitches, I do love me some Hozier. Also, I am honored.

NSFW WARNING, MINORS DNI

Hahah, good news is I have a number of fics about that premise! H2M, Different Kind of Daddy, Big Bad Wolf, Protege, sections of the NSFW Alphabet, Thimble of Honey, aaand... Spoiled. I think that's most of them.

It will come up VERY briefly in TB&TB. I'm positive I have other Spencer WIPs that include it, but I couldn't tell you which ones. It's requested of me very often 😅 which is fine, it is a kink I have IRL!

I agree, though. It makes me feel things.

[bqstqnbruin]

Idk why u would be actively trying to alienate your reader base when you're writing a nolan patrick fic, like sorry flyers fans get on your nerves so bad but who do u think is reading f is for friends? Certainly not all, but a good chunk must be flyers fans, so i dont understand why you would be publishing content for people that you dont like; i must admit that i've come and gushed over it in your askbox about it before so i guess im just as guilty by consuming content made by someone who doesnt like me/someone who doesnt like flyers fans. Idk i'm obviously getting in my feelings about all this because it is hurtful

If I in any way made you or other Flyers fans feel alienated I am sorry but I don’t think I was “actively trying to alienate [my] reader base”? (is the ? supposed to go before or after the quotation mark I never know)

This turned long so there’s a read more ah also I’m sorry if this sounds mean or aggressive but I am tired and am having a hard time conveying a tone that is not that aodifjoisdf

I just looked back at what I’ve posted since the game and this is what I saw, and I 100% can easily be missing something or interpreting things differently because that’s how people are: a post about the penalties from tonight in which I never said anything about disliking the Flyers or their fans but it’s calling out what happens any time a Bruin does something on the ice at this point which is that people get up in arms about the Bruins doing one thing but then when their team does the same thing they praise it, a post about Miller fighting Konecny saying that I wish I didn’t miss it, because who doesn’t love a good hockey fight, and a post where I had a tag that said ‘carter hart wishes he had what the bruins ahl goalies have’ which is a joke that I can clarify because looking back at it that I can see how that isn’t clear. I never said I didn’t like Flyers fans and anything I have said about what I don’t like in terms of hockey with other teams and their fanbases has been done privately or not at all (barring one post about the Isles that comes to mind).  The only other thing is the blocking tags and filtering content post after tonight's game, which I reblogged without mentioning any team, but was in reference to the Celtics losing tonight (that was just bad timing on my part rip to me)

I’m sorry if my posting about the Bruins winning made you upset in any way but other than what I mentioned, everything hockey related has been about the Bruins and the Bruins only, and I try to post about the Bruins and the Bruins only when I’m not posting fics. It’s the same if you posted about the Flyers winning last night on your blog, or any time the Flyers win in general. 

I’m not exactly sure what you mean but “publishing content for people that you don’t like,” though. Do you mean me publishing stuff with Nolan, saying that I don’t like him? Because I like Nolan. I never said I didn’t. Calling out a player for doing something that warrants a penalty is not disliking them, I call out the Bruins on their shit all the time (that sounds so holier than thou but I’m tired and don’t know how else to say that rip). I’ve liked Nolan since he played for the Wheat Kings. I have a Snapstory saved in my memories from the night he was drafted saying that he was the only reason I would wear something Flyers related and that I wanted him to go number two that year so that I could see him play while I was at school in Philly. If you mean that I'm writing for the fic for Flyers fans, I'm not. Other than when I take requests, I write for me and share with you. F is for Friends is something that I'm writing because I want to, not to please other people.

I appreciate you coming into my ask box about f is for friends, but I never said I didn’t like you (especially since I don’t know you and therefore cannot make any judgment whatsoever but I’m sure you’re a great person who I would like) or flyers fans as a whole. The flyers fans I don’t like are the ones who have: thrown beer and food at me, sworn at me, charged me after games, pushed and shoved me, and tried to tackle, all of which happened while I was just walking (if I did something that warranted any of that then fine but even my friends who I was with who like the Flyers didn’t know why that was happening ah). I’m assuming you do not fall into that category.

I don’t like when people talk shit about the Bruins and Bruins fans for no reason, so I don’t do it when to comes to other teams, especially since (obviously) not everyone likes the same team I do. If you want to talk one on one about this I’m open to it if you are (or just explaining over anon is fine if that’s what you’re more comfortable with)! If I am alienating my readers without realizing it, then I want to know how I’m doing it, especially since what I might think isn’t alienating might be alienating to you, which I guess it is, but that’s never my intention. 

[qforqazaq]

Ninety One – Men Emes

Okaaaay, people, here comes a long-awaited comeback from Ninety One that screamed, no, shouted so much culturally significant meta at me I could barely handle it. Ironically, when I was watching reactions to this MV, most people were so bloody oblivious to anything that was happening on the screen that I was painfully restraining myself not to slam my head on the table, but then remembered "oh, right, that's why I'm running this blog in the first place."

Okay, let's start with the video, shall we?

The opening scene is obviously with Alem because if 91's song doesn't start with Alem there's something definitely wrong with it.

Anyway, we have Alem looking like a mo-fo mafia boss, a Kazakh Don, if you like, in an office that's practically littered with KZ references. First, your eyes might catch those weird looking symbols on the desk, which are actually Orkhon-Yenisei runes - a script of Old Turkic tribes aka one of the direct ancestors of Kazakhs - that I was going to talk about for ages, but didn't have a good excuse to. So thank you Ninety One for bringing that up, I can unleash my inner linguistics nerd upon people regarding the subject in a separate post. The runes are actually read from right-to-left (because that's how it works) as "l" and "r", although I'm not sure of their implied meaning here. My theory that means just that: "left" and "right", for whatever deep reason.

So, while you're admiring Alem's outfit and hairstyle as he's showing off his results of perfecting The Stare™ (I had a theory his stares are so intent because his contact lenses keep drying up and it's his attempts not to blink much when cameras are on), you notice not only that Samsung is the main sponsor of this production (is it surprising?), but also that there's a picture of random people on the background, and a funny-looking statue next to the window. Except for that is not a picture of random people, that is actually a photo of the leaders of the Kazakh national movement/autonomy against Communists in the 1910s - Alash Orda, which I'm probably going to elaborate on in another post. For now, I'll just say that these were the writers, poets, social and political activists, the Kazakh Intelligentsia™, who were later prosecuted and repressed by the Soviet regime. Very important addition to the set if you ask me, and very deliberately chosen.

As for the funny-looking statue, that is a miniature "Balbal" of Kültegin or Kül Tigin, who was the General of the Second Turkic Khanate of the same Old Turkic people who used to write in the aforementioned Orkhon-Yenisei runic script. We can talk about it later on, for now, I can only say that 10 seconds into the video and my inner history nerd was screaming very much delightedly at these references. Didn't expect that much meta in such a short amount of time, eh? And we didn't even mention how cigars are allowed now, along with the whiskey-looking tea in a tumbler.

Anyway, then we are abruptly cut to AZ and, shortly after, ZAQ with an eagle. And no, it's not just a "lol, look, a bird", that's the Golden Eagle, a species that was trained and used for eagle hunting by the Kazakh nomads for centuries. Which is why we have it on our flag too. Btw, extra kudos to ZAQ for delivering his lines while having an eagle on his arm without its hood. I would have been more than slightly concerned if I were him.

If you don't know much about that aspect of nomadic life in Central Asia, I recommend watching the critically acclaimed documentary film The Eagle Huntress about Aisholpan - a 13 y.o. Kazakh girl from Mongolia being the first female mastering the art. FYI, it is narrated by Daisey Ridley aka Rey from Star Wars. Watch it.

The scene is black and white, and AZ and ZAQ are wearing suits which look very agreeable.

Then, we have the bridge that is delivered by very blond Bala, which isn't the best look on him in my opinion, but he's wearing a suit too, which is always a good idea. Bala, you must know, has perfected his camera acting and now successfully flirting with it without so much as breaking a sweat. Good job Juz, you know what you're doing.

Now, when we're done sharing niceties, can we, please, focus on the background - which is, of course, all lofty and fiery - specifically, on those symbols carved on the wall? And what are they? Yes, you guessed right: the Orkhon-Yenisei runes, yay. FYI, it says "QAZAQ", in its very palindromic fashion - the meaning here, I assume, is quite self-explanatory.

In one of the cuts we see that Bala is actually there with a dog. And, guess what, it's not just a dog, it's actually a Tazy - the Kazakh national hunting breed, of which, quite frankly, I did not know anything before researching for this MV. See, even I'm being educated here, I feel so enlightened.

After that, we have the chorus, and all five of them are first standing and then walking like a bloody band of gangsters, all suited and effortlessly cool, as if towards an important tét-a-tét with a competing band. My immediate association was Crows: Zero (I'm sure, my fellow Japanese weeboos get what I mean) - lots of shonen swag and badassery. I approve.

In the meanwhile, Bala is showing off his moves, again, very at ease, chill and relaxed.

Chorus moves to the second part of the song with another rap verse from ZAQ. Do you remember that set in the previous black-and-white scene with the rappers? This one is that same set i.e. a carcass and insides of a Yurt - a traditional nomadic portable house used by Kazakhs for centuries. We see ZAQ sitting in what looks like a Khan's throne with battle spears and fur skins of wild animals. And no, nobody is trying to offend animal rights activists and humanists, just trying to showcase the culture here, alright? As you've noticed hunting has always had cultural significance for Kazakhs, and, well, it's survival in the bloody Eurasian steppes we're talking about here, with windy -50°C in the winters you've got to wear something to protect from freezing over, you know.

ZAQ delivers his lines in his usual very efficient fashion, and we cut to Ace walking over to the race track, very stylishly so that it might as well be a car commercial, to a parked Ford Mustang (and, yay, we've got a budget for a nice car now!) that's drifting its tires out in the shots in-between. Did I mention Ace's wearing a suit? I'm telling you, a car commercial.

I have a feeling that a Mustang was chosen deliberately, a subtle shoutout to horses as another culturally significant symbol and animal for Kazakhs. They could've gone for a Ferrari for the sheer visual effect of it, but I suppose Samsung is generous, but not that much.

And then, we have a chorus with a dance break. Interestingly, despite the numerous cuts and camera angles, and even blinding background lights that obscure the view, I did not mind how the dance was shot. The choreography itself is nothing short of cool: very laid-back, effortless, with easy open moves and a masterfully feigned nonchalance. I know I'm using cool and effortless a lot, but what can I do, they are the keywords for this MV. I like those claps btw, remind me of hilarious dances in Kazakh weddings lol. Very ironic. In either case, my compliments to Asiya for her work, bravo.

While you're still getting over the choreography, you're introduced to AZ casually lying among many ladies in night gowns, and yes, we now are allowing this too along with cigars and whiskey-looking teas in tumblers. Don't get me wrong, AZ is wearing a modest pair of black silk shirt with black trousers (can't say the same about his wild tricoloured mess of hair), and evidently still can't take his hands off his nose (he does keep rubbing it), but the whole scene, the wide shot of it, looks so unapologetically hedonistic that it might as well be a Gucci Guilty commercial. Well, Ninety One definitely went all Gucci in this MV, so associations are unsurprising. Scrumptious.

The only cultural reference we've got here is the neon rune "r" on the background when AZ is sitting up.

Then, it goes back to the chorus with the guys standing with more fire in the background. There are other cuts from previous scene including the one with Alem throwing off 10000 Tenge bills with that photo on the back while staring into the camera.

Conclusion? A+ to the production team, especially set designers, Bibotta for the styling, and Yerbolat for knowing what looks good and what doesn't.

All and all, it was a good MV, a good break from artificially colourful secluded studio sets.

Now let's move to the music.

The song starts with, what I thought, those weird sounds from some Japanese instruments, but upon hearing the chorus my immediate reaction was "wait, is it a hip-hop beat from the early 2000s?"

Honestly, it isn't a very pop song. It screams hip-hop, and I dare say, this song was meant to be performed by the rappers only, which was somewhat proven true given that AZ and ZAQ were both writers and composers of Men Emes. Its hip-hop nature shows even in the structure: there are no vocal verses, only a bridge and a chorus performed by the vocalists, and everything else is just rap. And oh my, that's some rap, indeed.

First, can we just address, that once again the rappers of 91 managed to sneak up another controversial line bordering with vulgarity? I am talking about the first two lines of AZ's rap here, those who don't know what I am talking about, ask me about it later. The audacity though, huh. In either case, that got an incredulous chuckle out of me upon realisation. Congratulations, boys, mischief's managed.

AZ was his extravagant self in general, wouldn't say he brought a lot of literary value in this track, to be honest. Well, especially compared to ZAQ (and it is always difficult to compete with ZAQ's lyrics), who's just unleashed the study of "how many words and rhymes with "u" and "ü" sounds I can shove into one rap verse while making it sound intelligible and meaningful." And did so successfully, I must say. Personally was always astonished how masterfully he manages to use the vowel harmony - one of the linguistic traits of the Kazakh language - weaving syllables to the whole other level of wordplay. Lyrically, all cultural references in the MV seem justified, given how ZAQ is lamenting over how "his nation is moving with a snail speed" and such. With this, he is brushing the socio-political problems in the country, it seems. And it is very promising, as in this country high profile artists don't risk doing that.

(Btw, a mention of Surtur was another delightful nod to my inner nerd who loves Norse Mythology, and a reference to Cthulhu was rather amusing. Lovecraft wouldn't've minded.)

I had many problems with voices in this track. For some reason, I couldn't recognise half of them. I only clearly heard Bala, Ace's voice became obvious only when he moved to an octave higher, and I didn't even realise it was Alem singing in the beginning. Was very shocked to know that it was ZAQ, not AZ, rapping with that higher voice in the second part before switching to his usual old school style. We're trying different things, I see, though I wouldn't mind them toning down their tuner game a bit. I know who's singing what now only thanks to the MV.

To sum up, it's a very different 91 song. Not that it's very astounding in its originality with blending different genres in one as you'd expect, but it's probably refreshing to hear something bold, audacious, yet simple, very hip-hopesque circa 2001 from them. It seems they're deliberately trying to diversify their audience throwing a track like that. Which isn't bad at all, I rather enjoyed it. (By the way, those drums in the bridge section sounded almost tribal. Just saying.)

Despite the MV and song screaming "WEALTH", "SWAG", "COOL" and "SUAVE", I do not actually think it was only about showing off. Well, of course, a part of the message was a la "look what I've got in the end, despite all your judgement" with "you're not me" and all that. However, I think it was also targeting and mocking the spoiled kids of corrupt government officials or just corrupt rich "bosses" in general who always act as if rules and law are not made for them. "Yeah, you're cool, but not the coolest, might be rich, but not the richest, and even good-looking but not really. Don't be so full of yourself, you're not the centre of the universe" kind of message. And that imagery of Alem as a mafia boss in his office is juxtaposed with all those cultural artifacts hinting on what is actually more important and valuable, especially with the Kazakh cultural leaders of the 20th century watching from the picture on the wall. And Alem throws those bills as if saying "yes, I'm doing that, but it's just money, so what." Even AZ looks somewhat lost and empty-eyed lying there among girls when he's not trying to convince you how envious you should be right now.

Probably it's me reading too much into this, I don't know, but the MV only amplified the feeling that you've got to read between the lines, it isn't all about bragging.

For now I'll give the MV 9 out of 10, and the song is a solid 7.

Peace out ✌️

[cios-correct-opinions]

oh dear bast this is long im so sorry

i agree w this 100% btw, what im adding isnt contradicting this but i suppose rather supporting? i btw am a gay asexual nonbinary trans man, so. im 100% mlm/nblm/nblnb/mlnb myself, i just dont experience sexual attraction.

but tbh smth interesting ive noticed abt me n my friends esp those who r adults n thus able to talk to each other openly n freely abt our kinks / sex stuff and/or lack thereof is that like. typically what puts us off is like... the same kinda stuff that puts off a lot of queer allos, or even cishet allos, both irl and in fiction.

like. degredation/subjugation of women and/or ppl perceived to be women and/or the person who has been designated the "woman" in the relationship for whatever reason.

the obsession w the "right" kind of sex to have n how that "right" kind of sex to have is typically the kind where u wait till after ur married, and its an allo cishet white man w his allo cishet white wife who is 100% submissive to him and focused on his desire whereas he has no interest in pleasing her at all, and the focus is on how the "man" of the relationship feels (using "man" here bc this can also apply in situations where there isnt really a "man" but rather referring to the person who typically allo cishets perceive as the dominant one) n the "woman" is just kinda There and could just as easily be replaced w a sex doll.

the relationship dynamics which make it clear that either one or both parties dont respect each other.

so on n so forth. a lot of what we hate is actually not necessarily like. the sex/romance itself. its the like... expectations placed either on the relationship as a whole OR the overt expectation/message that "you MUST have a romantic relationship and/or sex in your life or you are unfulfilled and something is wrong w you. but also the romance and sex has to be what we deem correct or else it doesn't count."

bc a lot of us actually uh. not only do we enjoy reading about kink/kinks in fanfic/media when they're done well and not meant to pander to societal expectations/what ppl say is popular(*). we also enjoy writing those kinks. and some of us even enjoy engaging in those kinks consensually in real life with irl partners! i know a lot of a-spec ppl with nsfw blogs here on tumblr. i bet if i went n looked right now i could find at least 5 of them within an hour or so assuming i didnt get sidetracked or body checked by ADHD or hypersomnia or both lmfao.

a lot of us REALLY enjoy engaging in and with like. explicitly queer relationships in media and irl, OR not even necessarily like. "explicitly/intrinsically" queer relationships but relationships which in some way challenge the allo cisheteronormative patriarchal view of what sex/relationships/love/etc "should" look like. which, you can actually argue, is a queer representation. because it challenges those norms and actively goes AGAINST them. which, yknow, is the thing the ppl who do work to keep it active and in power, dont like to see above all else lmfao, even if the ppl involved are otherwise "acceptable" allo cishet ppl.

like. the "girlboss/malewife" dynamic in my opinion is probably so popular among mainly queer ppl bc its like. it subverts the typical, oppressive, allo cisheteropatriarchal standard "norm" for a relationship. even tho it is technically (usually) a mlw relationship. conservatives still get upset abt that kind of thing bc they view it as "the man is ALWAYS the dominant moneymaker/provider and the woman is ALWAYS the submissive homemaker/mother and ANY relationship which dares to defy these roles is BAD and WRONG and you're GOING TO HELL FOREVER because I- uh i mean- because JESUS totally said so in the BIBLE!"

for those of us who challenge those norms simply by existing? we tend to enjoy this media bc it also challenges the norm by existing.

queer allos are 100% just as affected by amatonormativity/hypersexualization of queerness as queer aces/aros/a-spec folk are. and i think thats why for a lot of aces/aros/a-spec folk who are kinda like. i guess more aware/educated on how intersectionality works and more in-tune with it, might already be aware of? on some level? and this is why we typically engage w queer focused fandom content. cause it is usually mostly free of the shit that makes us go "eugh" at 90% of popular relationship/sex/love/etc tropes and dynamics and depictions in media at large.

*(which honestly in my experience 99% of the time? is not even that popular. not by demand anyway. if it is popular, it's bc that's the only thing ppl are getting ads to buy, its the only thing ppl are seeing or being recommended, not necessarily bc ppl r asking for more allo white abled neurotypical cishet m/f missionary in the dark type shit that ends w a nuclear family in a quiet white upper middle class suburban neighborhood. genuinely i have seen very few ppl, including allo cishets, in my life, who actually desire this content. it's just kinda uh. the majority of what they have and it's difficult for a lot of them to hear/learn abt other stuff unless they are like, avid book readers n searchers who have a lotta time to go thru reviews n such of books which yknow. not all of us do)

I have thoughts about allosexuality but I'm worried I would get hashtag cancelled for voicing them.

[halvatir]

Hello mizu! Its okay if you're too busy/don't want to do it but could you do the more detailed character ask for flanel and randel? Curious anon here, have a good day!

hey there anon, hoping you’re having a good day too ( ᐛ )و - are you talking about this ask??? i’m not sure what you’re talking about but bless these kinds of tumblr blogs, here u go

btw the likes/dislikes are in reference to my interpretations for them, the fav/least fav moment are in reference in-game since y’know… these guys don’t exactly have ‘moments’ minus… idk, whoever the devs decide to feature in the updates (゜▽゜;)

flamel (… flanel lol i thought u were referring to another chara)

what i like about them: perfectly self-aware of himself: knows what his strengths + capabilities are and also his weaknesses + flaws, along with his morals + ideals + character. nope, any form of psychological bullshit won’t work on him. he’s absolutely aware of what he’s capable of doing and he’s not in denial about his shortcomings at all… what he does with that knowledge and what he plans to do about it is more of the question.

what i dislike about them: while flamel has a condescending air about him, he actually does not look down on people and he acknowledges others’ capabilities + character, even if they’re better than his own. that’s the problem: he knows or at least he has a general idea of a person’s capabilities + character, and what he dislikes the most is if it is not put to good use. without mercy, he can really say stinging observations about one’s failures and fears straight to their faces - the worst part is? it hurts, bc it’s true. he’s insensitive, but you can’t exactly deny his words either.

favorite moment: when i get his card lol bc i really like his card art??? not the mvp + biochemist one, the regular one - like… daMN??? i dig, he probably has the best regular card among the bio mobs imo

least favorite moment: ??? have u fought this fucker in-game??? no??? lucky u then, cecil’s still the queen bitch but mAN is flamel also a pain to fight, the last time i played ended up with my party dying partially bc of him and his clones

a situation with this character that i want to see explored more: not exactly a situation but his backstory??? or okay, something with his family - i know he’s nicholas flamel’s son but what about his mom? or what if: his parents announce that he’s about to have a sibling like??? what, i’m like around my 20s already then u tell me i’m gonna be an older bro i am questioning ur nightly activities??? cue a much needed slap from his mom lol

an interesting au for this character: lol i’d probably like to see flamel in a soulmate au where he feels the same emotions his partner does like wow he’s really irritated at it at first bc really why is this person so damned emotional / feel so much but eventually he’s able to compartmentalize his partner’s emotions from his own and he also takes note of the emotions his partner experiences in a journal daily, complete with time frames/lines??? that’s sort of sweet??? it also becomes a habit for him to look at the journal at the end of the day and think of reasons why his partner may have felt this way at each of the recorded times??? what’s funny tho is that despite the fact that he’s been taking note of his partner’s emotions for so long (probably middle school up to college?), he’s never gotten the urge to discover who his soulmate is, or to try find said person. sorry soulmate, you’re the one who’s gonna take initiative.

a crossover: top of my head, probably a fullmetal alchemist one lol - he’s probably some big shot alchemist then surprise surprise, one of his transmutation attempts fucked up him up pretty badly leading him to the gate of truth. he wakes up feeling ‘empty’ only to figure out that somehow his parts of him have taken the form of homonculi… and not just any kind of homonculi - they introduce themselves as a part of him, the sins in him that has made him the man he was today. they even call him father and take different human forms (lol, aka they take the form of his floormates, take a pick who represents each sin) - the revelation is in his travels tho while he’s trying to get to the homonculi, is that flamel himself embodies a sin, the seventh sin that completes all of them (try guessing what, lol). ooooh, this could probably be good if i actually fix this but yeah, there u go, it goes somewhere along those lines.

otp: none, actually. 

other ships: kathryne // trentini

brotp: randel // alphoccio

notp: lady tanee hahAHAHA jk no seriously idk just ignore my first entry pls it was supposed to be a joke… maybe…

assortment of headcanons

surprise bitch, he’s the best chef in the biolabs but he ain’t gonna cook for anybody but himself - the only time he isn’t hung up on precise measurements + time is when he’s cooking

has a pair of reading glasses, uses them often and keeps them stored away neatly in his desk complete with a wipe - he always makes sure there’s adequate lighting + his reading glasses are present when he reads stuff, he sure cares for his eyes a lot

he… surprisingly follows a lot of good health practices - he always takes 15 - 20 min break if he’s been doing something for a straight hour (patrol + battles are exempted), drinks 8 glasses of water daily, sleeps early, etc.

his hands are always gloved - takes ‘em off only when he’s about to sleep. his right hand is pristine but his left hand has a strangely shaped burn mark that runs diagonally across his palm - it looks old.

he looks prim and proper but honestly his room is nuts - what’s more confusing is that he isn’t bothered by his room’s state at all + he knows exactly where his stuff is when he needs it, like… dude… how do u even know where to find ur shit in a warzone called ur room, teach me ur ways master

randel (oooh this is new)

what i like about them: he’s a very resolute yet flexible person: definitely not the type of person who’d go second-guessing on his decisions or would waver in times of crisis, but he’s not also the person who’d insist on pushing on with the initial goal/objective when difficulties or contradictions arise - he takes in the present situation + other factors & encountered facts and weighs them against the supposed goal/objective. from there he determines what he thinks would be the best course of action to take, and it takes him only a short time to do so even under pressure.

what i dislike about them: true to his class, he’s too self-sacrificing??? which is like… dude c’mon it’s probably an honor for the crusader line to die in the act of protecting others but still if u die, who’s going to protect those who can’t protect themselves? like yeah, he understands that too but he’s more inclined to believe that it’s better for him to be left behind/sacrificed/die in exchange for the lives of the majority. well - it’s either he’s that self-sacrificing or sadly, when weighed against the lives of the people he must protect, he doesn’t place that much value on his own life.

favorite moment: the feel when u don’t get his attention, seriously. pls let me sneak about ur floor in peace - i swear i went to church so pls stop with the grand + holy crosses

least favorite moment: fighting him is torture bc if rms data is right, 478,745 hp, man - he has the longest hp out of his floormates… and that’s just a regular randel… the paladin one has 3,870,000 and the mvp one a whopping 6,870,000… since his life is that fucking long, say goodbye to trying not to be mobbed by the other ghosts bc ur still busy trying to kill him, damn

a situation with this character that i want to see explored more: same like flamel, knowing his backstory would be A+ but… hmm, maybe something way back like his origins story or something, the story of why and what made him decide to be a swordsman/crusader. y’know, that’s if we’re assuming that he’s not from a family line of swordsmen/crusaders or something. idk, sometimes the thing is with characters who are in line with a faith/ideal is that i’m interested in what made them devote their lives to that certain faith/ideal in the first place.

an interesting au for this character: oooh, just… idk, a modern au where he suddenly ends up taking care of the bio2 kids who are orphans. he’s never mentioned it to anyone, not even to the people of his workplace who happen to be his friends/co-workers like for 4 years already. therein lies the problem: his friends on separate occasions have seen him with at least 2 or 1 of the kids. they all know randel isn’t married. the hair colors (cenia and laurell) + other features don’t match up. some distinctly heard a kid call him dad/daddy/father (see: wickebine, armaia, the rest respectively). conclusion: it’s either a) he’s babysitting as a part time job bc goddamn rekenber’s a cheap son of a bitch that won’t give him a raise, b) those kids are his cousins or something and are probably so fond of him that they see him as a father figure, or c) illegitimate chiLDREN FROM SOME ONE NIGHT STANDS ALRIIIGHT SCANDAL IN THE OFFICE. chaos ensues even before poor randel has a chance to explain himself.

a crossover: lol, idk… a shingeki one maybe where randel’s probably the head of the survey corps, watching over our fated trio (probably flamel/celia/chen for his floor, bio2&3′s are a mix&match). for some time, the trio don’t see him but strangely enough when the trio get old enough to join the corps, they discover that randel is considered a scum and a traitor to humanity by all three army regiments (survey, garrison, & military) which is strange bc randel is very well known and respected by humanity within the walls, wow. when the trio get deeper into his case, it turns out that randel vehemently fought against a group of scientists that were looking for human subjects for the ‘sake of saving humanity by using present resources’ - the three of them were seen as part of those potential resources and were eyed upon by the scientists were they were already young, along with other people from different parts of the walls (the other bio mobs). what happened to randel, however, is left in the air… was he even still alive, or had something important happened leading him to be branded as the traitor of humanity? politics, religion, science, drama, and titans (removers maybe lol) ensue.

otp: again, no solid one.

other ships: ????? surprising revelation is that i don’t exactly ship randel romantically, wow even i just discovered that now

brotp: his floormates - although honestly i think that one way or another, randel could be on everyone’s good side once they just get around to talking, probably

notp: zealotus oKAAAAY no seriously pls make me stop placing random mobs in this section

assortment of headcanons:

very, very religiously open + tolerant. he shows a lot of interest on other faiths and is knowledgeable even of various religious practices asides from his own. of course, he’s still steadfastly loyal to what he believes in first and foremost, but he feels no need to impart his beliefs to those who don’t / are reluctant to believe. he isn’t the type you’d see to be preaching about his faith either, that is unless you ask.

in line with the hc above, his tolerance also extends to people and their character + personalities, but he isn’t too tolerant to the point that he’d rationalize questionable actions + motives. he may have the patience of a saint, but no one’s so sure if they want to see him snap / test his patience to see what makes him tick. throwing bullshit about his faith doesn’t work on him, actually.

he’s pretty crafty - he pretty much taught himself other ways to help people, from practical stuff like sewing to more complicated stuff like woodwork + metal works, wow. he’s basically the ideal useful guy in survival crises… minus the fact that he can’t cook that well lol

he has the worst drinking tolerance among the bio3 + bio4 residents - the sign that he’s drunk is when his face shows more expression than usual + his posture breaks (the paladin randel card art lol). nobody knows bc damn son, he has a pretty good poker face and he can hold it for a really long time

... the only reason he grew his hair long is bc of a promise to his mother. he vowed that if ever he was to fall in love (and it was reciprocated) / find the person he would devote his life to, that would be the only time he would cut his hair, and his mother would do the honors... but... yeah... wow, i made myself feel sad

this was a lot of fun - thanks a lot for the ask anon, and i welcome your curiosity anytime! (　＾∇＾) i’m always in for a distraction from work lol