#if you're gonna blackmail the blackmailer you gotta make sure that it's working | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

our-neighbours-cat-is-a-menace · 3 years ago

Note

Can I request brothers reacting to MC who always call them by nickname and one day they call them their full name. For example one day their say like "fullname can u pass me my jacket?" because someone convinced them to try this

I really hope u understand what I mean...

I like how your mind works love, also i didn't know their last names so i searched on Google but nothing came up, so i only used their names, and thank you for requesting, this piece is dedicated to you

Obey me: MC calling them by their full name

No warnings just fluff

Lucifer

Is Solomon a good influence to you? Probably not

cause he actually blackmailed you to do a prank on your demon boyfriend as payment for the last time he saved you from being turned into a cat which was also his fault

That damn shady sorcerer

So now you have to prank your boyfriend by calling his full name instead of your usual nickname for him which ranges from luci, love and on occasions, baby

Now lucifer was never a fan of you calling him by many names at the start of your relationship, he feels like he's soft but as your relationship grew, he also learned to accept it and even find it endearing

Now lucifer was at the living room currently hanging mammon on the ceiling

You wanted to laugh at mammon's state but for now you need to focus

You went to your boyfriend and tap him on the shoulder and gaining his attention

"have you seen my phone, i think i left it somewhere?" you asked eventhough you already know it's in lucifer's room

"yeah, it's in my room, i put it on the bedside table, feel free to go get it" he answered

"oh, ok thanks lucifer" you said turning around and walking away

When he heard his name coming out of your mouth, he was quick to grab your wrist, stopping you from leaving

"what's wrong?" you asked, acting innocent

"ah..well...it's nothing....it's just, what did you call me again?" he said making sure it wasn't just his imagination

"i said thanks?" you innocently said

"no, after that"

"lucifer?"

"yeah that, why are you calling me that"

"but that's your name, isn't it?

"but you always call me love or luci or even baby, are you mad at me or something" he asked gently trying not to go completely soft on you

Seeing him go all soft on you made you smile and giggle

The demon took your reaction as a good sign that you're not mad or anything

"sorry love, it's just a prank solomon made me do" you said hugging him tightly by the waist and nuzzling your head on his chest

Lucifer quickly reciprocated your hug

"Hey, get a room, some of us are single you know" mammon stated, still hanging from the ceiling

Mammon

Please, mammon will be all pouty about it but act like it's not bothering him

Solomon blackmailed you into doing this (for the same reason as lucifer's part)

(let's blame it all on the shady sorcerer)

You and mammon were currently just in his room cuddling and looking at videos together on his phone

You decided this was the best time to do the prank

"I'll head down for a bit to get something to eat, do you want me to bring you something" you asked your boyfriend slowly getting up and getting ready to head to the door

"just water babe" he said still not looking away from the phone

"Ok mammon I'll be right back" you said closing the door and making your way to the kitchen

Mammon processed your words 10 seconds before he realized you called him by his name

He quickly got up and followed you to the kitchen

Grabbing some food from the fridge, you were surprised to see mammon when you closed the fridge door

He was just there staring at you

"Geez mammon, if you were gonna come down, you should have said so"

He's not replying just giving you hmph

"what?" you asked completely forcing not to smile at his pouty state

You decided to let him be and just do your thing, after eating you went to the living room and eventually your room

Mammon followed you everywhere like a lost puppy

"ok mammon you gotta stop following me"

"that's not my name" he said, annoyed hearing his name come out of your mouth for the third time

"what are you talking about"

"stop calling me mammon, mammon, mammon, my name's babe, come on" he whined

He is now hugging you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck

You chuckled and decided to stop

"ok ok sorry babe, it was just a prank" you said laughing

Mammon just grumbled against your neck still not letting go

Leviathan

"Leviathan, let's go home" you said grumbling while holding a lot of anime merchandises

You guys are currently at an anime convention at the human world and levi was not holding back in buying merchs

Your exhausted and just wanna lie in your bed

While you were busy thinking of your bed, levi was currently looking for hints of anger on your face cause why the hell would you say he's name

You always call him levi, leviachan or even cutiepie

You felt his gaze on you so you faced the demon

"What?" you asked

"are you angry?" he asked gently

"uhm no, I'm exhausted not angry leviathan"

"then do you not love me anymore? Why are you calling me that" he asked, eyes turning glossy

"what, leviathan?"

"stop repeating it"

"but that's your name"

"i know but you never call me that"

"so can't i call you by your name?"

"no, you can't I'm leviachan or cutiepie"

You laughed at how he was saying his nicknames, you quickly explained how it's just a prank orchestrated by Solomon

"but were still going home now though, I'm exhausted cutiepie" you teased making the weeb blush

Satan

You were at the royal library with your boyfriend finding a spell that could cure mammon

The tsundere demon of the family was cursed by one of the witches and as the intellect of the family, Satan was the ome looking for a spell that could break the curse

Of course you on the other hand just went along and see of there are any romantic novels in the library

Satan was busy flipping through a certain book and you wanted to grab a book from the top shelf, there were no ladders since obviously demons don't even need them but you currently do

The only way you can get that book is by asking your boyfriend

"Satan, could you grab me that book" you said pointing to the said book

"sure" satan quickly used magic to get it to fly down unto his hands

You thought he didn't realize how you said his name but you were proven wrong

When you were about to take the book from his hand, he quickly raised it above his head, making it out of reach for you

"what the heck" you said making grabby hands towards the book while tip toeng

"if you call me correctly, i might just give it to you"

"but i did, i called you by your name"

" i meant the name only you can call me sweetie"

"dadd-"

"not that one"

"oh fine, can you please give me the book......sweetie"

He smirked and handed the book to you giving you a quick peck on the lips before going back to the book he was flippin through

"maybe later we could use that other name" he added, eyes completely on the book

Asmodeus

You two were playing dress up at his room

It was him who were changing his clothes while you judge them

But let's be honest he looks good and everything

"how about this mc, the back is cut in a v shaped, it looks sexy" he squeled, obviously liking the outfit

You also think it looks gorgeous on him but the prank Solomon blackmailed you into suddenly flooded your mind

Seeing the situation as the opportunity, you started your prank

"it really does suit you Asmodeus" you also squeled matching his enthusiasm

Though the moment you said his name, his enthusiasm went down

Humming in thought he quickly went to you and hoist you up, your legs wrapped around his waistline and both of your hands in his neck to steady yourself

"what the, what's this all of a sudden" you asked

"MC dear, i think you called me by the wrong name"

"what do you mean, i called you Asmodeus"

"that's exactly the problem dear, you see that's not my name" he quickly teases your body, his lips leaving marks on your neck, his hands squeezing your ass

"w-wait Asmodeus"

"hmmm, I'm not stopping till you say my correct name dear"

"fine, pls stop..honey" you stammered completely red

"good girl" he said contentedly, but still not stopping at his ministrations

"wait, you said you'll stop"

"hehe changed my mind" he chirped making his way to his bed

Beelzebub

Beel invited you to go with him to the gym and you said yes

You also wanted to exercise a bit, getting rid of some fats you got there

Beel was working on the weights while you are already exhausted from only running for 30 mins on the treadmill

So now you are just watching your boyfriend lift weights

When he was done, you gave him water and a praise

"Good work beelzebub" you beamed slightly slapping his shoulder

Beel was halfway through drinking his water when he stopped and looked at you

"what.?what is it?" you asked feigning ignorance

"are you tired?" he asked in concern

"no I'm good"

"then why aren't you calling me baby anymore, are you hungry, that's why your not calling me baby anymore"

Oh god you wanna melt under those doe and gentle tone he was giving you

"ahh no no, i was just joking around of course I'll still call you baby, and no I'm not hungry yet" you reassured him with a smile

"that's great, cause i still love to be your baby"

Your mouth was making that squiggly lines you see in anime, completely swooning over your boyfriend

Belphegor

Now the brothers may have let solomon go but belphie's different

Gosh I'm currently abusing Solomon aren't i

Belphie was on the living room couch lying on beel's lap and sleeping away

You wanna di the prank so you're looking for him

"Belphegor, Belphegor where are you" you shamelessly repeated throughout the house of lamentation

When you came into view in the living room, you were still shouting his name but he had no plans on acknowledging you

You saw him on beel's lap and was wide awake staring at you

"if you heard me, why aren't you answering me?" you said to the demon

.....

"hello are you not gonna answer me, Belphegor"

This made his brows to frown, who the fuck is belphegor woman, I'm bubs

"so you're really not gonna answer me huh"

"i will if you stop calling me that" he grumbled sitting up and facing you

"that's your name tho"

"no it's not"

"it is"

"no"

"ok fine you win bubs, so wanna cuddle" you chirped opening your arms for him

"yeah" he quickly went to your embrace and nuzzled his face in your neck making you giggle a bit since his floofy hair was tickling you

When you told him it was Solomon's idea, he was already thinking of sharpening the knife he has and play darts with Solomon as the target

A/N: i hope you like this❤️

Masterlist🌻

2K notes · View notes

nikkisixxsgirlfriend · 2 years ago

Text

this must be the place

being one of the byers/hoppers (headcannons)

jonathon

you aways gotta fight him for the bathroom cause he wants to spend twenty minutes on his hair to impress nancy

typical sibling fights including light punching and dramatic fake injuries

will always have your back no matter what

will punch ppl for you

when youre feeling down he'll sit with you and talk

you always catch nancy escaping out of his window and use it as blackmail against him

would give you the shirt off his back

always lends you his music and plays songs he knows you like in the car

will drive you anywhere in that old car,any time of day

will save up his money to get you and will good gifts

not one for hugs or saying i love you on the regular but he'll still accept if you do that

s4 jonathon would tell you to stay away from drugs and then go get high w argyle

argyle is also like a second older brother to you

jonathon makes sure everyone looks after and protects you even if you dont need it

nearly beat steve to a pulp in s1 cause he said something mean about you

teams up with you to glare at mike

isnt the best at school but still tries to help you with your work

will watch obscure artsy movies with you

cooks for your family every day

does not get into sibling fights,like he physically cant get mad at you

threatens each person you go on a date with

will make sure you get enough sleep every night even though he hasnt slept in years

takes photos of you and the rest of the byers

you give him the worst nicknames and that mfer will just sit there and say nothing

will mock any school related parties or activities unless you join them in which case he will be incredibley supportive

joyce

will have jonathon spy on you 24/7

she trusts your judgement in your friends and your dates but is still weary

never lets you come home alone

always supportive

is always there for you

her hugs are like hugging a cloud

always has a huge smile when she sees you

would die for you and your siblings

whispers that youre her favourite and then does that to will and jonathon

the type to take a million photos before your prom

when youre off to like save the world she'll hold your face and hug you and squeeze your cheeks so much its suffocating

is always scared shes gonna lose you guys so she gets terrified when something happens

would beat up a 4yo if they were mean to you

gives you your space when you need it

will let you borrow her clothes

always wants to make sure you're okay

sometimes she'll be up in the middle of the night at the kitchen table and when she sees you she'll make you something hot to drink as you guys talk

works incredibley long hours so she can provide for you guys

would give you the shirt off her back and pants

if you had a cold she would lose her mind tryna take care of you

she isnt the best cook ngl but she'll always try to make you something you guys like

does those excited little mom screams when something good happens

will tell hopper every little detail about you when he comes over

hopper

isnt exactly your dad but also is definitely your dad

will straight up arrest anyone who bothers you

calls every person you date a punk and tries to threaten them

trusts your judgement but it still an overprotective dad

confused about everything but always has the spirit

will let you and your siblings eat absolute trash when joyce is out

will sit with you and tell you stories to calm your nerves

"can i borrow this?" "keep it"

says you cant date till youre 50

if youre going through an emo phase or smth he'll ask you a million questions and still be confused

makes little jokes about everyone with you

will warn you about 'guys like eddie' then when he gets to know them he'll secretly like them

quit alot of his bad habits when he started living with you guys

stops himself in the middle of angry rants and reminds himself to be calm for you guys

will jump in harms way to protect you guys

if youre sick he'll still send you to school with no hesitation

stops before he does anything risky to remind himself of you guys and make sure hes doing this for the right reasons

him and joyce cant go a day without being around you guys

murray ends up being your weird conspiracy theory uncle,and enzo ends up being a 'weirdly hot friend of your dads' according to nancy

teams up with Jonathon to threaten the people you date so you cant leave them alone with your dad or brother,ever

"when i was your age-"

will

will try to stick up for you only to end up getting himself bullied

you always stick up for him

youre always talking to him tryna comfort him

you are there 24/7 for this boi

hes always drawing stuff for you

and will annoy you to no end about his dorky fantasy stuff

tries to teach you dnd

cannot cook.like absolutely has no skill in the kitchen

is painfully uncoordinated and you try to stifle your laughs when he trips for the fifth time that day

you try to help him understand his feelings because quite frankly he doesnt understand them himself

loves you more than everyone else because you treat him normally

you call him a nerd and he calls you a whale,the daily routine.

you give him your own music reccomendations

you always make fun of his haircut and he proceeds to violate you with insults

he'll wear your clothes and then once hes already got them on he'll ask if he can borrow them

you both always make eachother laugh

when hes done being ominous you make fun of his scribble drawings and imitate his posessed moments which earns a scolding from joyce

he will lip sync to every song you play

jonathon will be in the drivers seat looking serious ash and you and Will will be jamming in the backseat

you always listen to his nerdy ramblings and roll your eyes but when christmas or his birthday rolls around you always get him something hes been ranting about

on his birthday you make sure everyone knows.you throw a massive party and invite practically everyone.

if anyones mean to him you and jonathon are prepared for murder a good talking to

you make fun of his crush on mike and he proceeds to steal all of your favourite clothes,forcing you to wear a shirt from when you were nine years old with a cartoon on it to school

he tries to act all grown up when he gets to highschool so you have to act extra childish to make up for it on his part

will give you the food on his plate,but not the shirt off his back cause hes self conscious

always wants to go to amusement parks with your family and every fourth of july he forces you guys outside to watch the fireworks

eventually you and jonathon just bought will the fireworks and every year you guys sit on the porch as him and his dorky friends light em up

jane/eleven

always smiling,no matter what

will tell you all about her day or about a story she heard with this incredible excitement

refuses to eat much else besides eggos

will rummage through your things looking for clothes to wear and leave your room a mess not even knowing

has sleepovers with max every week

one time max left her lipstick and jane used it to draw

thus resulting in you teaching her makeup

you always lend her your music

you teach her new words and lend her your books all the time

she speaks through movies but you dont mind because frankly its adorable

when angela makes fun of her she thinks its some weird way of being friends so you chopped off all of angelas hair

you will and jonathon are always at her side

you compliment her every day

every time she sees you she has this huge smile and waves like crazy

you hug her 24/7 because shes just so precious well minus the murder

you brush and braid her hair every night and she'll tell you about something new she learned

does those word of a day things

she tried making breakfast once,it was bad,real bad but you still ate it all,egg shells and burntness, just because of how happy she looked

you absolutely hate mike because hes a dick to your little sister so hopper and you always try to keep her away from him

she always wants you to paint her nails in the wildest colours

her,will and eddie really get along

but when he played her metallica she had this huge look of confusion on her face "is that really music?"

fav ice cream is mint chocolate chip,shes insane

refuses to let a bad day get to her

cut her hair like that cause "i want to look like joyce"

if you ever swear or use 'slang' she'll repeat what you say with a smile and say it all day earning a laugh from hop and another lecture from joyce

#stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #fanfiction #headcanon #el stranger things #jopper #joyce byers #joyce stranger things #stranger things jonathan #jonathon byers #jane stranger things #jane hopper #will byers #will stranger things #stranger things 4 #el hopper #hopper stranger things

44 notes · View notes

giorno-plays-piano · 3 years ago

Text

Vicious

Part VII

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, mention of blackmail, all characters are adults.

Words: 1864.

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

________

You wanted to slap yourself. What the hell was wrong with you today? Why did you tell Peter that?!

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...” Completely baffled with you behavior, you were deeply ashamed, unable to look the guy in the eyes and wanting nothing but fall into the earth.

“Ah, I got it. It’s Steve, isn’t it?” All of a sudden, Peter let out an irritated sigh, rolling his eyes skywards and rubbing his neck. “Of course, who else would say such nonsense. Blackmail, really? Funny he didn’t call me a stalker or anything.”

“Listen, I didn’t mean it, I’m really-”

“It’s ok.” He closed the locker, slamming its door loudly and making you jump. “It’s not your fault. If I heard that from somebody, I’d be scared too.”

He spent a couple of seconds staring into the wall until he rubbed his neck again tiredly and huffed. It took him less than a minute to regain his composure, and you heard him murmuring, “What a freak.”

He didn't return to the corridor, heading to the sports hall for his PE class, instead moving to the bench in the locker room and motioning you to sit. Feeling terribly awkward, you hoped he wasn't going to do anything out of anger, even though he had every right to be upset at your stupid behavior.

"About what he said," Peter took a deep breath, "it's nothing like that. I don't dig up some nasty stuff in the web to blackmail people. I've never done it. The reason why Mr. I-am-better-than-you said that is because I've made him take me into his little bodyguard group when I heard him talking to Loki. You're nice, and I wanted to help. Of course, Steve started acting like I was some creep, so he refused, and I had to remind him that, technically, he had to report your issue to the administration, not play a hero. I said that if I go and tell the whole story to the dean, Steve's gonna be in trouble because he knew who thieves were and didn't report them."

It was a loud off your mind. Goodness. Rogers called this a blackmail? Really? Just because Peter pushed Steve into taking him into their group?

You were less and less sure Rogers was sane. You definitely had to be careful around him.

"I can't believe he called it a blackmail." You admitted quietly, and the guy sent you a tired smile. "Peter, I'm so, so sorry. It was so stupid of me."

"Nah, don't worry. I'd freak out too if I didn't know the whole story."

You knew your apologies weren't enough, but you hoped Peter didn't take it to heart - if you can take such an accusation easily, that is. Shit, shit, shit, why did you believe everything these guys were saying? You didn't even know them in the first place! Why on Earth did you go asking them their opinions on others if all of them were biased, and every guy could twist the truth the way he liked? You shouldn't have let their words affect you that much.

"Whatever. At least now you know what Rogers is like." Peter sent you a grim smile and got up, picking his bright yellow sackpack from the floor. "Shit, I gotta go if I don't wanna be late. Let's meet in a library later, alright?"

"O-of course." You hurriedly stood up and left the lockers room after him, turning to the library: your Lit class was cancelled, so you decided to go study right away. At this time, the library was usually full, and you felt safe there.

Your thoughts were all about the guys again even when you were staring at your laptop, trying to focus on Excel numbers. Why did you feel like the atmosphere between them was so dense? If they were at such terms with each other, why did they group together to help you? What, because all of them loved you so much? It was ridiculous. There was something else to it, and you didn't know. You had a feeling no one was going to tell you the truth until you figured it all out by yourself.

Weird. It was all so weird. Steve's plan, their behavior, the relationships between them, and your nagging feeling they all were hiding something. Was it them who were actually following you?

The thought scared you to the point you started shivering. Oh shit.

"Hi there," the guy appeared behind your back so suddenly you almost jumped, looking at him wide-eyed, "sorry, did I startle you?"

"H-hi Jake! No, it's ok, I was just... studying." Both of you were talking in hushed voices, knowing the librarian would kick you out immediately if she heard some noise. "How are you?"

"I'm great, how're you?" You could hear concern in his voice: he was one of Thor's friends you met yesterday, and although you spoke briefly, Thor definitely told him more about you. "You look a bit worried."

"Oh, it's Math, I didn't really understand the topic, and we're having an exam on Monday... guess I'll be studying the whole weekend." You gave him your best smile to reassure you were totally ok, and the guy relaxed a little, smiling at you, too.

"I'm sure you'll pass. Thor said you're very smart."

What, he said that to all of them? Was he simply boasting about his girlfriend to his friends or was there something more to it?

"You're too kind. Thank you."

His smile grew wider, and he landed on the next seat to yours, resting his hands on the table. Apparently, there was something he wanted to talk to you about, and you grew uneasy.

"Listen, about these incidents... Thor told us all about it, so if you see any freaks following you around, you can message any of us, and we'll come right away." Looking at his serious expression, his bushy brows furrowed, you hoped he eas being sincere with you: you had enough with people you could no longer trust. "And also... that kid, if he's giving you troubles or anything, just let me know, and I'll tell him to keep his hands to himself"

Oh, he was talking about Peter, wasn't he? He had probably seen that silly photo. Wow, you though, Peter was totally right about Instagram: it was the best news source in the academy.

Thanking him for his concern, you laughed a little, convincing him there was nothing serious except for the theft and promising to tell him if anything weird would be going on. While it should have made you feel safer, in fact, you only grew more frustrated with this situation. You wanted to forget about these freaks and just spend you day like any normal student would, but everywhere you went people were staring at you as if you had a horn; one boyfriend or the other was always close to protect you from some unknown danger, and although you believed they tried to help, you hated the feeling they were hiding something from you. Why did you have to be going through all this? Wasn't it really better to drop off school, spend a year working and then apply to a better place?

Thinking of the faces your parents would make once you returned home, you realized it wasn't. This school with all those creeps wasn't worse than home that never felt like a safe place you wanted to come back to. Besides, all money you saved up until now were only good for buying food and things like that: you'd never afford to rent a decent place unless you found a well-paid job. It meant staying with your parents, and it wouldn't be much better than here, just different. If you wanted to drop off, you had to find a good place to stay.

Well, you could at least try, right?

When Peter met you in the library, the two of you no longer talked about anything important, simply studying together to prepare for the exams next week. It didn't feel off: from time to time you met his gaze, and the both of you smiled. You were thankful he didn’t talk about Steve or other guys or that weirdo in the lockers room.

Once you returned home, you went straight to bed, completely exhausted. Luckily, you did much more than yesterday, so you could rest now, but then you thought of Thor kissing you and bit down the pillow, angry at yourself. Why did you keep thinking of him right now?

______________

When you woke up the next morning, you felt like something was off: your body ached, your throat hurt, and your headache was only making it worse. Dammit, you caught a cold, probably. And that’s when it was finally the day to meet Steve, the guy you thought was a mastermind behind all these manipulations that were making you sick to the core.

Anyway, it’s not like a mere cold would prevent you from doing everything you had planned. You left your bed and went to the bathroom, moving the dresser before again.

Honestly, it felt terrible. It was definitely because of that flimsy dress you wore to school yesterday when the weather was becoming chilly. Argh. Watching your puffy eyes and swollen nose, you sneezed. Today you had to apply way more makeup to look decently.

Steve showed up earlier than either Thor or Peter: you had to skip your breakfast, hoping to buy something cheap in the cafeteria.

“Good morning.” He said with his everyday polite expression that soon shifted into a concerned one. “Are you alright?”

What, was it that bad? You did your absolute best to apply enough makeup and do your hair. Did you still look so sick?

“Good morning. Yes, I’m ok, just feeling a little sleepy.” You yawned on purpose, covering your mouth with your hand, and Steve’s face softened.

“Did you study all night?”

“Yep, exams are driving me a little crazy.”

“I understand. I also stayed late last night.”

Of course, the student council president studying all days long to be number one student in the academy. If you didn’t know of his twisted nature, you’d think he was the most typical nerd.

You spent most of the time either in silence or talking about studies, the academy, and everything related to it. Steve acted like a gentleman and a scholar, albeit a little too demonstratively. Walking with you as if he were a king of the place, he constantly replied to greetings of others, waved to his acquaintances and smiled. You felt so off you wanted to find Loki and walk with him: unlike Steve, he was considered unpleasant by the prevailing majority of students.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” America golden boy asked you for the last time, and you forced yourself to smile.

“Of course. Thanks for coming, see you later, Steve.”

As he finally left you in peace, you almost fell down into your chair, your fever only getting worse despite the fact you took some painkillers. It was going to be a long day.

_________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki @helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @stupendouslovegardener @iheartsebandchris @lovelydarkdaydream @soleil-dor @illyrianprincess @vampirestrawberries @goodgodimaweirdperson @frontmanash @freya-heya @yandematic @mariatietacapitu @d3monslust @maybesandohnos @ibeatuptwinks @mangobangi @nectav @whatever-happened-to-the-ducks

#bucky barnes x reader #dark bucky barnes #steve rogers x reader #dark steve rogers #thor x reader #dark thor #loki x reader #dark loki #peter parker x reader #dark peter parker #yandere

354 notes · View notes

theunderneath · 3 years ago

Note

I want to say that you are indeed one of my favourite scps writer. I really enjoy your yandere alphabet so if you are still doing them could you do dr Kondraki?

Have I done him before? Well I don't know so we're doing him again (maybe)! Now again I'm just stealing the alphabet from my wattpad story. So if it seems familiar, there you go.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? - He's kinda in the middle, he not stuck at your side 24/7 like Bright but isn't as bad as Gears with not showing affection. He likes neck kisses both receiving and giving, he likes the marking his Darling but at the same time likes the small kisses he receives. (All I can see is Y/N kissing Kondraki's neck and having him chuckling saying it tickles)

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling? - He doesn't care much for it, he doesn't need to get dirty that much. He has the intimidation factor that can scare most people away. Some people can't be scared away (Clef, Bright, my version of Glass, Gears) that's when he'll either slaughter them or blackmail them.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them? - Once abducted he would be cruel, he wouldn't mock his darling but they will be staying in the basement until they accept they're his. He doesn't really do anything that bad except keep them in the basement and ignore all they're pleads.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling's will? - Pictures, he takes lots of pictures. If he tells you you have to pose in a certain way you're going to pose in that way. Naked, in a swimsuit, underwear, anything. You will wear what he wants and pose in any way he wants, no arguing. Even pictures of his darling do sexual acts, though those would probably be taken in a long term relationship where the Y/N is already gone (He's not a rapist but he is a photographer).

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? - If he doesn't have his darling heart he's not gonna be showing any kind of vulnerability. He needs to be strong for them and he'll make sure he is. Further in the relationship, he'll open up more but that would have to be a year or two in the relationship.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back? - Why... Just why. It's no use and it won't work, he does hate all of the screamings and crying, it's loud and obnoxious and it kind of makes him feel bad.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape? - He doesn't see it as a game and will be a very grumpy man when you try to escape. He's like "Gotta wake up at fucking 2 am and go get my future wife." he's not happy, not at all.

Hell: What would be their darling's worst experience with them? - When the darling is running away and suddenly gets pinned to the ground hearing a very dangerous "Why do you have to run?" and hearing the breaking of your legs "Now you can't run." then being dragged back with your legs broken.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling? - He wants to marry his darling and have at least one kid. He likes the idea of a perfect little family where he can escape all of the craziness of the foundation.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope? - Yes, he does get jealous and will kill someone. He does find ways to cope, he'll make it obvious your his and no one else. He'll kiss his darling and be all lovey-dovey making sure the person trying to take his darling away knows it's not happening.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling? - Less intimidating, he's definitely softer with his darling then others. He still pretty tough around the edges but less so with his darling, he tries to be a little more friendly. He doesn't curse as much, he talks more, he smiles a little, all that good.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling? - He would probably just be friendlier, showing that he likes them more than other people. He'll leave gifts on the desk of there workplace (Even if it's isn't the foundation) you'll probably just assume it's a normal admirer..... until it starts getting creepy. Pictures of you at home, going to work, showering, maybe some pictures of dead coworkers who hit on you, all that good stuff. Also he refuses to sign anything with his first name, he just rather not.

-I'm putting a little sample of what I think he would write in a love letter-

I don't really do letters, I don't like them. So I'm keeping this short and simple. I'm going to confess to you per se, I'll come to get you behind the west building. Be there or else - Kon (Butterfly drawing)

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else? - A little, he's not as cold as he usually would be. He also not as much as a dick he could be. He would be much more loving in later into the relationship, in the beginning, he'll be cold. Yeah, but what do you expect. He's an SCP doctor.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling? - Embarrassment. All those bad pictures he has taken, he would hang them up all over the room his darling is staying in. Every naked picture, all of the clothes he forces his darling to wear, all of those embarrassing poses. They would all be hung in the room for all to see, he would comment on the picture "Look at that one, so disgusting right. Man can't believe you wore that." he'd say something of the short until he thinks you had enough.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling? - He's take everything away from his darling (Food, clothing, entertainment, etc...) then he'll slowly give them back. If his darling good they might be able to go outside one day, who knows.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling? - Kinda patient depends on how much work he had that day. He can go from completely calm one day to yelling the next, somehow though. His darling always calms him down a little he just feels like seeing there face brightens his day, even if they're screaming and crying.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on? - No, he wouldn't, he would probably kill himself. That is only if his darling dead. If his darling is leaving or successfully escapes, he'll give chase. He knows a lot of people/can intimidate people very easily so he can find his darling by asking for help.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go? - He would feel a little bad about abducting his darling and putting her through all of his crazy shit. He won't let her go through, he can't bring himself to, he won't let you go no matter how much you weep.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)? - All of his psychological damage, he fines his Darling like a crutch. His darling is like an escape from the real world for him. All of the shit that is the foundation isn't there with his darling. His darling is soft and warm, unlike the hard and cold foundation.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves? - He thinks it loud and doesn't like it much. He can always just soundproof the basement and ignore the cries and screams. He doesn't like it much when his Darling isolates themself, he will just wait until his darling wants his affection.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere? - He doesn't need to kill, he can just intimidate or use blackmail to get his way. I can't physically say anymore because there's not really any more does out of the ordinary......... He takes a lot of pictures though, so there's that.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape? - There's not really any except just waiting until he lets his guard then hoping you are faster than him. Even then he probably already has a lot of bad photos he can use to threaten them to come back peacefully. If not then he'll reluctantly release all of the photos which will probably make everyone see you as some sort of whore or a person who likes taking photos in very weird position.

Wit's end: Would they ever hurt their darling? - That's a reluctant yes from him. He hates seeing his darling in pain but at the same time thinks it's a necessary precaution for your guys' happy life. He won't kill his darling and he won't cut off any limbs because he wants his darling in one piece.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over? - He likes his darling a lot but he isn't yelling it from the rooftops and screaming at everyone like Dr. Bright. He kinda just likes them than most people and treats them better then he treats.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap? - A year or two at the most, he can hold out a long time but he does have a breaking point. Something that pushes the breaking point closer is haveing his Draliing getting closer to any other man/woman in a romantic way.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling? - Probably there's a chance of him not breaking his darling but there's a high chance of him breaking his darling. He's a man of much determined, he will try his absolute best of breaking his darling.

#male yandere #scp #scp foundation #yandere scp #yandere scp foundation #Yandere dr kondraki #Yandere Dr. Benjamin Kondraki

77 notes · View notes

merakiui · 3 years ago

Note

welcome to the day a duck ruins your perception of items in genshin impact. i uh. made some items in genshin impact as yandere boys and what they're like sort of?? you could try and burn your eyes now. ;) adepti seekers stove- he's going to be a tsundere no buts or uhts. he's the type of yandere that's trying to be protective and failing miserably everytime. so being impatient and angsty. so, he resorts in kidnapping you instead. but hey look on the bright side! even when you're kidnapped you can have delicious meals and snacks! secretly likes to cook for you a lot, but he won't admit it even in death. just don't question why there's a lingering scent of sleeping potions in your meal and you'll be good as jolly jee! probably wants you to help him in the kitchen, since he once heard that couples do that. would probably give you self esteem issues down the line. "didn't i tell you to not get hurt? are you that much of an idiot?? here. have this it'll lessen the pain just a bit so we can walk back home. just drink it already." windsong lyre- smug bastard, smug shit. he's probably a player or just overly dramatic with everything. maybe he's righteous or something.. likes to show off his music skills a lot. he sucks at it tho. gaslights you probably in public places to add more pressure, because people are staring like you're having a performance or something. calls you love even if he's pissed at you for not listening to him, or accusing him of being toxic or suspecting him of being your stalker that always watches you from your window at 2am! would make you paranoid a lot. loves kissing your cheek and tickling you. he's a closeted pervert. you're gonna have to move in an isolated place too, he will spread rumours of you being his lover. "love, I'm sure that you're just overreacting. plus even if i was the stalker that you're talking about I wouldn't be oh so casually talking to you in public when I could've been hiding! jeez it's like your going crazy." wind-blessed harpastrum- such sweety! just so wholesome bakes you a pie in tuesday sweet. seems patient too but beware he will break your legs when you get a little bit too bratty for his tastes. touch starved too and it shows, that's why he loves to cuddle you lots! really obsessed with what you think of him. if you say you hate him he'll tear up and try to convince you that he's good, but if you pretend that you like him he'll shower you with uncomfortable affection and confessions. really great at making bombs and torture weapons too. probably sewed in a bomb inside your body threatened that he will kill you with it if you leave. bad at darts and archery. if you say that to him he'll laugh and take out his diploma saying that he's too smart for those childish games. he's impulsive in decision making. "haha. you know. you almost escaped from me back there. but hey! now you won't do anything stupid like that ever again if you can't walk." windblume balloon: listen man. im going to be killed but he's an airhead, pun intended right there. probably lowkey manipulative and doesn't even know it yet or chooses to ignore it. protective of you a lot. really delusional to the point that he rationalizes your escape as someone kidnapping you. so say goodbye to whoever poor stranger who was trying to help you escape they'll be greeted by an arrow through their head once he finds you. has a habit of holding your hand because he's afraid you might disappear from his line of sight and leave him all alone. if you let go tho he'll gorilla grip your hand, might crush it too. just very overprotective. he also doesn't know that he's an airhead. yeah."hm? why do i like holding you hand..? i just like it.. your hand makes me feel... uh. safe..? is that the word for it? ah. it was the word loved." wind catcher- he's a full on sadist. throw all of your escape plans out the window, this guy will climb a mountain and ride any wind current available to catch and torture you. persistently trying to make you like him atleast a bit. yeah, he's that kind of delusional. would teasingly push you

of a cliff as a 'light' punishment. dark humour and likes to joke about killing you from time to time. note: he can kill you. and he would also do it by ripping you in half with the wind current so just stay in his house and be a good lover that'll shower him in kisses, okay? okay. he mostly sees you as a tool of interest, but not just any tool- you're his favourite tool. "pfft! hey stop crying now! you're making me feel bad! hm? oh? why am i doing this? well i mean maybe I'm angry that someone was trying to escape. again." warming bottle- he will absolutely leave you in the cold if you were being a brat towards him. lives in dragonspine to spite you, also because he can just turn take away your blankets and anything that can give warmth so you gotta ask him to cuddle you to survive. he usually does this when he's feeling a little petty. which is so frequent. that you can almost give it a schedule. but don't tell him that. kind of a tsundere but only when it comes to physical affection since he's shy. that's why he has to take away your blankets so it looks like he's just mocking you but not because he's touch starved. he's not at home that much too but don't worry, he will make it up to you by uh.. physical activities.. "what? you're freezing? no shit we're in dragonspine. oh? you want me to hug you..? hm. fine. I'll indulge you for a bit. I am quite merciful." parametric transformer- businessman that scams you a lot lol. he's going to be a masochist because i said so, yeah i know the electric stone thing gag that's why i made him a masochist. really likes to collect useless stuff and spoiling you, so expect your room to be filled with a lot of random things from jewelry to mushrooms and crabs. has a you should be grateful i even give stuff mindset. thinks that giving someone something of vaue would make them fall in love with him instantly. also probably loves it when you fight back especially when you successfully land a hit on him, he will enjoy it. but be careful he has different responses whenever you hit him. pick your poison. spends a ton of resources on everything to keep you in line. that rope costed him 700 pinecones. "why do you even wanna escape? i give you a ton of stuff so you won't get bored! hah. maybe if i had picked up someone else they would've been grateful." portable waypoint- throw out your escape plans the season sequel. he's very quiet but has a small temper that won't last that much. maybe he's like that since he tries so hard to repress it. listen he's trying okay? escape always fails so quickly. one minute you're in springvale shouting, crying, begging for anyone to help you and then back to his house to see him sipping some tea. his punishments are cruel too- he makes sure to leave you in a den of monsters and ruin guards, waits until your in the brink of death and teleports you back to him. has a superiority complex over everyone too. probably likes to make you feel weak when you have to rely on him. loves to crush your self esteem. wants to be affectionate but thinks that you, as an inferior being, should be affectionate with him instead. so tsun. "see? this is what i was trying to tell you. you're too weak to actually survive out there. you even had to rely on me to save you. pathetic." memento lens- mysterious and elegant. he's quite cryptic to say the least. likes to watch you from a far if he's feeling a bit angsty. you try to make sense of what he says and it just leads to you being confused even more. and he likes that about you. you actually try to understand him, even if what you guess is wrong. you're going to have a tough time with this guy if you wanna escape. just avoid any fox statues and you'll be good. the problem is the shrine maidens. they basically want the two of you to end up together so they don't have to deal with him. he's actually very gentle with you punishments still suck but atleast he doesn't do it physically, he just makes you write that you're sorry over and over until your wrist are tired. loves poetry and solving puzzles, riddles, scriptures. he's

smart but soft. "spring blossoms even in the darkest depths of uncertainty, is that why you have the courage to try and escape me..?" kamera- perfectionist stalker. wants to make sure that the photos he takes of you are perfect to every extent. colour, lighting, and expressions. even if it means going inside your room and having the possibility of waking you up from your sleep. likes to take pictures of everything too. kind of like this; both of you are walking somewhere and he stops to take a picture of a sunset. he takes twenty minutes trying to find the correct angle. but the sun is already gone so he sulks. maybe- you can cheer him up by volunteering to be his model? you'll do that? right? also worships you like a god so if someone dared to even say something breath near you or celestia forbid insult you, best to say they'll be quickly disposed of by blackmail and fake shit. would not steal any of your belongings, he would just take pictures of it. so he's not that bad. "i consider everything in this world is beautiful, but you have surpassed that. so that is why im keeping you here. no one deserves even a glimpse of you!" waverider toolbox- he's such a gentlemen and a sweetheart. always there to help you with repairs, sometimes he'd add some updates to it too. just ignore the stuff going missing inside your boat thing. he probably guilt-gaslight you into staying with him in his waverider then bam your in an island stranded. ahaha, now both of you just have to survive by working together ya know? like a loving couple likes hugs and physical affection a lot! bonus points if it's given when he's tired from doing his job. as i said tired guy so appreciates all the things you do for him whether it's paying for his meal or giving him a gift. next time, he'll make sure that you won't leave the island permanently. thinks that stranded island equals date smh. " ahh? oh! is this for me? really? thank you.. i don't usually receive gifts but that just makes this even more special! say, do you wanna go on a trip? i just fixed the waverider from last time." red feather fan- mischievous little shit. likes to scare you a lot by appearing on trees and just jumping on you. knows that you're trying to escape but pretends not to since he likes to try and guess which direction you would run to. hugs you a lot even before he kidnaps you really touchy even if you say no he'll use the good ol puppy eyes! doesn't work? okay he'll just smell your clothes when you're sleeping as compensation. he likes to flirt with you a lot. some pickup are cheesy.. but others are a little- personal? acts cool by making a dramatic entrance everytime even. you know those radical superhero landing stuff? that's him. he would build a nest as your house even being a dick and placing it on top of a mountain, goodluck on trying to get down. "caught you! going to the shore was so predictable by the way. maybe you should try a different place next time, dear? hm? maybe a restaurant so we can have date? sounds great right?" serenitea pot- unhinged malewife that wants to make a the perfect living space for you- ehem. probably a perfectionist if you squint hard enough. he's delusional but just a little lucid about the stuff he does to you. likes to make a ton of furniture too! personalized the room you're trapped in with a ton of valuable and expensive materials. just don't try to escape he'll cut your limbs off just like a damn tree shawtie. owns a shit ton of pets ranging from boars to cats. all of them are like bodyguards to you during your stay. dreams about having a peaceful life with you in the realm someday, sigh. he sometimes has burnouts where he just places a bunch of furniture on a single room and call it a day. "and here is your room! do.. do you like it? i made it just for you! i didn't know what wood you would prefer so i just settled on whatever i can find! ahaha. we're kind of like a married couple living together now... right?" nre menu- he's probably going to be from the adventurers guild. really awkward and shy. takes for him a long time to

open up to you. when going on quests he's the one in charge of carrying the food and healing shit you need. really patient and nice! slightly uh mean with other people trying to talk to you but other than that everything is normal. everything is normal the long loving gaze he gives you every now and then and some food being left on your doorstep. yeah let's not question it i mean he's just so shy! he would never do anything wrong? right?? he's a closeted pervert, cliche i know but he's a pervert with a line to not cross. he just checks you out. good for him. would cry if given any ounce of affection. sweet baby. "t-that was a tough commission.. oh u-uh.. do you need some food to replenish your energy? we need to do the other commissions you know.. hm? why aren't you eating it.. something wrong with the food..?" seelies- spoiled. that's the word to describe him. really straight forward with his courting kind of dumb? but he's so damn lucky for some unknown reason that your plans to avoid him always fail. yeah the high quality rope you just bought for 1000 mora? it broke and you fell into his arms. he's probably rich by sheer dumb luck too. finds a ton treasure chests even in the places you didn't expect. people pressure you into spending time with him. since he's just so cute! how could say no to such a face? it really feels like the gods are on his side ya know? he throws a lot of very very aggressive tantrums if you're not with him. thinks he's doing a good job at courting you, with rationalize rejection as a playing hard to get. "tada! look i got you this crystal i found while i was walking! it looks like a diamond and it has a ton of colours too?? is it valuable?? would you kiss me if i give it to you??" endora- majestic, regal, and likes to explore a lot. he uh. probably trapped you in a bubble once or twice too. really curious about his surroundings, also has no personal space since it's first time going out. he would cuddle you when he feels like it homie. kidnapped you and made you his tour guide. don't try to fool him he learns quickly about stuff. fast swimmer, so no joining any expeditions in water if you don't want their ship to be wrecked by a mysterious being of the teyvat seas. he likes to see you cry. it's not a kink he just feels connected to you when you cry. doesn't have a house so you just live in a run down boat. he's doesn't know when you're lying to him sometimes. god complex bastard. "this world. at first i wasn't sure if i was going to like it or not, but ever since I've met you... I've grown to tolerate some parts.. so you should be thankful, you've convinced me. mortal." intertwined fate/older twin- listen. he's just so smug about everything he does. and he knows you love him. probably invites you out on dinner only for him to not show up. so basically he's an asshole without a doubt. toxic boyfriend that gives you false hope and has a ton of admirers. you probably think he won't settle for you right? ah, he's not that cruel. so picks you as his lover out of all the billions of people. you should be grateful! he even kidnapped you! do you know how hard it was for him to go all the way from his home to yours? anyways yeah. asshole. he likes to do the open the door for darling trick where he just gives you a small crack on the door and watch you make a decision. it's an act of your loyalty. if you escape he'll make you feel pain. if you don't then he'll reward your patience. god complex bastard 2."sigh. did you try to escape? again? patience is the key to everything you know. maybe you should learn that. i expected more smart from you." acquaint fate/younger twin- cinnamonroll he's such a sweet guy. he's always there for you when you need him. okay- he has a nice guy complex, fucking damn it. probably uses the but I've been there for you since the start trick unintentionally a lot. he just doesn't know he wants some action, so be thankful that he didn't just jump on you like a barbarian. he's kind of contradicting himself too. one hand he wants you to love him, on the other hand he doesn't

believe he deserves you. loves to give you the same things, remember that one painting you liked from two years ago? he got you that. quantity beats quality. surprisingly, he's really patient but would have bursts of anger every now and then. has a self value issues?? yeah, but did i tell you he's a touch starved guy. punshments are just him softly lecturing you about what's good and what's wrong."i always viewed myself as inferior, that i didn't deserve anything.. but this time. i want to be greedy just once." that's it- :'D i haven't proofread this but here you go mer! ill probably continue with more humanisations of items in genshin later.. if you ask why i ruined your day with this crazy idea i was watching that one video of a person humanising social media and got this idea. also i discovered how to bold out texts... i have power..ejwjdhshaj

so yeah have a great day! -🦆anon

I AM IN AWE?!?! WHOA OMG!!!!! 🦆, THIS IS FANTASTIC!! AAAAAA (≧∀≦)

All of the various characterizations… *chef’s kiss* It’s literally so good! With each one I read I kept thinking okay this guy is my favorite and then I would read the next description and my heart was stolen again. I can’t pick a favorite now. T_T

#chit chat #yandere #🦆 anon #meraki faves #YOU HOLD SO MUCH POWER #AND YOUR BRAIN IS IMMENSELY GALAXY #BECAUSE WOW OMG I AM IN LOVE WITH THE CHARACTERIZATIONS

71 notes · View notes

fanartfunart · 3 years ago

Text

Fly Away

Episode 4: Bibliotech

Ao3 - First - 2 - 3

(Féline Sombre & Paon Lilas designs)

Summery: An AU where Adrien never went to in-person school, not getting the cat miraculous, and found the peacock miraculous. -Adrien sets out to find the Grimoire, and Alya volunteers her investigative skills, interviewing her classmates. Until a librarian gets akumatized and traps them all in a maze of books.

(tw for sickness. very vauge. Much like canon)

Alya hummed along to her CD of Nino’s music, ignoring the sounds of siblingly chaos outside her room. Her phone buzzed and she looked down at the text.

Double A: “Hi, you’re the local superhero expert, right?”

She chuckled at Adrien’s question and texted back, “The one and only! Why? Whatcha wondering about?”

“I’m looking for a specific book, actually? An older one about superheros, with lots of different kinds. Seen it anywhere?”

She tilted her head “Just the one you said Chloé took from your dad’s???”

Adrien spent a long time typing only for his reply to read “Oh. Of course, thank you.”

Alya frowned and called him. Adrien picked up with a delay, piano music playing in the background. His voice was hushed “Hi, uh, why are you calling me?”

“What’s going on? Did you not know what kind of book Chloé, or I guess your dad, had?”

“Oh...oh um. No, no I did. Of course I knew what kind of book it was, that’s why I was asking about it. Because it’s lost and I wanted to find it, for my dad,” Adrien chuckled awkwardly.

“Why are you whispering? Are you at a concert?”

“Oh... no I’m supposed to be practicing piano right now...”

“Oh so you’re playing a recording? Huh. Smart.” Alya got up and grabbed her shoes. “Want me to ask around for your book then? It’s kinda my thing. Plus, Chloé never let me get close enough to look at it.”

“You’d do that?” Adrien whispered softly.

“Yeah boy! Don’t worry about it. If Chloé lost it during or before the Collector situation then it’s probably not too far from the school’s social circle.”

“Wow great! Oh whoops- I gotta get back to my practice, Natalie’s coming- so uh... goodbye!”

Alya chuckled “Bye Adrien.” They hung up and Alya got ready for her interrogations.

The majority of the students Alya could easily get a hold of knew nothing about where it went. So her only leads were Chloé and Sabrina. They had the same story: Marinette and Lila were the last two people they saw besides each other when the book disappeared.

She met with Lila at the library, Marinette scheduled to meet her not too long after.

Lila was looking at the mystery section when Alya waved her over. "Thank you for meeting with me."

She nodded with a smile, putting down her murder mystery novel, "Of course, what did you need?"

Alya got out her notepad, pen at the ready. "Are you aware that the book Chloé brought to class is missing?"

"It is? Oh no, I didn't. Are you looking for it for her?"

"Not exactly," Alya scribbled down a note. "For its original owner, not Chloé. But! Do you mind describing where you saw it last?"

Lila hummed and shook her head, "I'm sorry, I just remember Chloé showing it to me before she fell and ran off. I thought she had it. Sabrina seemed to really want to leave though."

"I already got Sabrina and Chloé's statements… Marinette was with you, right?"

"Oh! Yes, she was. If you want I can talk to her for you?"

"That's okay," Alya said, "I've already arranged for her to give me her story next. I'm just covering my bases."

Lila hummed and nodded, "If you don't mind my curiosity, who's the original owner?"

"Oh, the Aggrestes," Alya said, "Adrien asked me to help."

Lila raised a brow, "Adrien? He's the one whose face is plastered practically all across Paris, yes?"

Alya chuckled and nodded, "Yeah, I guess he's a little famous. He's pretty cool. He almost was gonna be in our class, actually. He would've transferred in just before you," she shrugged, "Guess his dad changed his mind."

Lila tapped her fingers across the mystery novel's cover and smiled, "Well, I don't have much else for you. Hope you find it for him. It seemed like a special book." Lila stood up, and they waved goodbye.

Adrien quietly walked up to the librarian. He smiled, “Hi.”

The librarian looked up with a barely suppressed annoyance, “Hello. How can I help you?”

"I was looking for books related to superheroes?"

He sighed, "Right there. Very popular lately." He pointed lazily and returned his gaze to his computer.

“Oh, thank you!” Adrien followed his direction towards a section that seemed to be dedicated to Féline Sombre and Ladybug. Decorated with red and black spots and green cat paw paper crafts. It was small, secluded. Creating a comfortable nook.

"Come on out, Duusu," Adrien whispered. The kwami zipped out and fluffed his feathers, tilting his head. "Any books you recognize?" Duusu hummed and flitted between the shelves of books. Adrien skimmed through the titles. (How did people get the rights to publish fiction works about the heroes? …Do Ladybug and Féline Sombre get royalties?) He tilted his head at a title "A History of Heroics: the Lesser Known Origins of Paris’s Superheroes"

Duusu came back and hovered in front of him, "Nope, nothing.”

Adrien huffed a sigh, "Well this is the last library nearby I can think of. It's got to be in somebody's private collection then, Duusu."

Duusu's head drooped, overcome with a quiet sadness. He glanced up, seeing something behind Adrien. He gasped and hid. Adrien spun on his heel. Natalie stood there, hands behind her back.

"You abandoned your piano practice and missed a photoshoot," she said, "I'm glad you're…" she looked around at the shelves, raising a brow, "taking initiative... in your learning, but you can't just abandon your responsibilities."

He nodded, hanging his head. "I- you're right, sorry..."

She glanced down at him and sighed. Her tone softened, "Go finish up and check out your books, we will wait for you outside in the car."

He looked back up with a smile, "Oh, thanks, I'll uh-" He glanced down at the book he was caught holding. Apparently he was into history today... "I'll go check this out…"

Lila waited at the doorway, much to the annoyance of the terse librarian. She ignored him.

Marinette stumbled through the doors, carrying a box of pastries. Clearly buttering up Alya to make her believe whatever lie she came up with. Lila rolled her eyes at such amateur tactics.

She sashayed towards Marinette, "Hi Marinette, how are you today?"

"Lila! Good, good, how are you?" She smiled brightly and opened the box of macaroons, "Want some? I mentioned I was visiting a friend and we had some leftovers, so my dad kinda pushed them on me."

"No, thank you. I'm just fine. But Alya was asking about that book you borrowed from Chloé. ...I'd be careful if I were you, I wouldn't want it all pinned on you. Who knows what Chloé's reaction would be."

Marinette tilted her head “She was? Why should I-”

”Well you had it last... But I know, you're so sweet, you could never steal, could you?" she smiled, grin sharp and fox-like. "Although… you’ve had ample time to return it... actually, I just remembered something... I should go tell Alya-"

"Wha- no no, I didn't steal it! It's fine, I can explain everything to Alya!" Marinette waved her hands frantically.

"Hm. You still have it right?"

"Er… No...I uh, returned it.... To the… library."

"Well should be easy to find again then," She waved a hand to the library's bookshelves, "I'd love to see it again. I'll make sure Chloé never hears who had it, if you give it to me."

"What? Why do you want it?"

"I want to return it to its original owner, that's all," she said, pressing a hand gingerly against her chest, "and do you really trust Alya to be quiet about it? She's all about truth and justice..."

Marinette frowned, folding her arms, "Alya’s more trustworthy than you, that's for sure… Whatever plan you have, I'm not going to be part of it."

The librarian abandoned his post, frowning, "Excuse me, what's going on here?"

Lila gave a pitifully sad look to the librarian, "She stole a book from one of my friends and won't return it! She loved that book and-"

Marinette sputtered. "What, I didn't steal-" The librarian raised a hand to stop them both.

"You'd make a very good actor. But, you're a tad over dramatic, young lady. I overheard your conversation. Your earlier tone clearly indicated elements of blackmail."

"Wh- well...well," Lila looked around, at a loss for how to lie her way out of this. Her hands balled into fists, "Well, you're just a dumb book scanner. You don't know what you're talking about," she said, "Stay out of it!"

He balked and his expression hardened, "Out."

She gasped, "What? This is a public library-"

"Yet, this dumb book scanner is telling you to get. Out. You blackmailed another patron and then tried to lie to me," he pointed to the doors, pen in hand. "So, I'd rather not repeat myself a third time."

Lila stomped out. Adrien tilted his head as he walked towards the counter, seeing Marinette watching the sceene. “Marinette?” She turned to look at him, raising a brow.

“Wha- Adrien? What are you doing here?”

A purple butterfly landed on the librarian's pen.

"Bibliotech, I am Hawkmoth. One too many people have dismissed and belittled you. I can give you the power to make sure everyone listens to you. You'll be the smartest person in the room at all times. In return, all I ask is for Ladybug, Féline Sombre, and Paon Lilas' Miraculous."

The librarian narrowed his eyes, adjusted his glasses, and grinned, "They'll all regret underestimating me." His glasses were now a glowing visor, his pen had seemed to have morphed into a staff. He twirled the staff in a motion that made a red “P” in the air.

“Marinette!” Adrien pointed, and ran towards her. Marinette turned and gasped as the window crashed as the pen-staff was thrown towards Lila’s receding figure. Lila disappeared as the pen touched her. Bibliotech summoned the staff back to himself, a meter on the pen filling slightly. He turned towards Marinette and Adrien.

"You seem like smart kids," he said, which didn't sound especially good to be in this context, "I hope you're ready for the test. Unfortunately, I don't have a number 2 pencil for you to borrow!"

He twirled his staff-pen and was about to hit Marinette with it, but Adrien shoved her to the floor. He stared at her for a moment. “You okay?”

She nodded and scrambled up. “Run!” She directed, pointing somewhere for Adrien to go while she ran into another opposite direction.

Adrien took the opportunity to dive behind the library counter. “Duusu, spread my feathers!”

"Akuma! Evacuate the Library!" Marinette yelled. She glanced down each row of books for a hiding spot to transform.... Come on, why does every row of books have at least one person in it?!

Alya stood up as Marinette ran toward her, "Marinette?! Akuma? Where!?" She started getting out her phone.

"Do not go toward the angry supervillain, please!" Marinette exclaimed, pushing Alya in the opposite direction.

Paon Lilas crashed into a bookshelf nearby, chuckling awkwardly. “Hi girls. Don’t mind me.” He stood back up, wobbily, as Bibliotech and a pair of people with a red “F” on their chests walked forward, expressions frighteningly vacant.

“You deserve a bad grade for your attitude!” Bibliotech called.

“My attitude? Who are you, my father?” Paon Lilas snarked back, running back towards him.

“No, I’m Bibliotech,” he said, matter of factually. He side stepped Paon Lilas’s attack and the minions grabbed the superhero.

He hummed, "I don't want to make it easy for you," Bibliotech drew the shorthand for “revise” and tapped a book shelf. The shelves bended and twisted into a maze-like structure. Blocking off Marinette and Alya together, and Paon Lilas with the villains.

"Nonono nooo," Marinette cried.

"If you can escape this I'll let you pass automatically!" Bibliotech's voice echoed. "Trust me, you'll need to pass this test."

"Ugh, we're not gonna be able to see the fight from here…" Alya turned towards Marinette, "Come on, we gotta stick together if we wanna get out of here. Two minds are better than one, girl. I'm sure the superheroes will have it handled in no time!"

Marinette sighed. "Let's just hope they can find their way through this…"

Féline Sombre called Ladybug again, and huffed as it continued to not go through. She really hoped she hadn't been caught by Bibliotech. They landed outside the library and looked around. It was eerily quiet. She cautiously walked in.

"Hello Féline Sombre. I'll give you one chance to do this easily." Bibliotech sat on the top of one of the book shelves, legs crossed, "Hand me that ring, please."

"I appreciate the please, not so much the everything else," Féline Sombre said, and extended her staff to knock him down towards her.

He blocked it with his own staff, and dropped to the ground, twirling it. "I hope you're ready to pay your late fees then."

Féline Sombre narrowly avoided being tapped with his staff and giggled nervously. "Do cats get late fee exemptions?"

"No," he said bluntly, twirling his staff and using the back half of it to throw her off balance. They grabbed onto their staff and extended it, twirling on the bar and leaping down to kick him back.

She tumbled and turned around, only for the man to have disappeared. They sighed, “Ladybug better get here fast.”

Paon Lilas threw off the other mindless drone and kicked the bookshelf. He stumbled backwards, barely avoiding the avalanche of books, vision blooming with spots. The akuma’s minions didn’t move after he was out of their grip. “Wow, is that what a failing grade does to you? He made them real dunces.... Oo, Dunce caps. That’s what I’m calling them now.”

He frowned at the rows of books and braced a hand against the wall to keep his balance. Someone nearby was very frustrated. He turned to follow it. It was probably Bibliotech.

Marinette anxiously tried to find somewhere to lose Alya. She took unexpected turns and ran ahead, but no. Alya just turned right with her, despite the fact that she was also recording everything.

"It seems Bibliotech basically gave the building a revision, like a teacher might to a student's essay." Alya narrated, "He's also making this maze really hard… Marinette no, we went that way before!"

Marinette groaned in exasperation, "Shouldn't we… split up to cover more ground?"

"I'd suggest against it," A calm, overly gentle, masculine voice said, "Besides, I’m here to help now."

Marinette froze. Please no, please no not him. Couldn’t Féline Sombre have come to save them before him? She turned around and frowned at Paon Lilas. He smiled (annoyingly) at her.

"How did you find us?" Marinette cried, throwing up her hands.

"I followed the feelings of frustration,” he said with an awkward laugh. “Anyway, we should get you out of here-”

“You’re not going to help Ladybug and Féline Sombre with Bibliotech?” Marinette said, folding her arms.

He shrugged, “Can’t be much help if I can’t find any of them, can I?” he offered a hand, "Paon Lilas, if you haven't heard of me yet."

"Alya, creator of the Ladyblog. I’ve definitely heard of you," Alya accepted the hand and instead of shaking it, he leaned down to kiss her hand. Marinette pointedly did not give him her hand or a name.

"So, you mentioned you followed our feelings- Can you tell who the emotions are connected to?" Alya aimed her phone camera at Paon Lilas, obviously preparing to interview him. Paon Lilas waved for them to follow him and started walking. Alya followed.

"Er, stronger emotions are easier to find, and akuma victims are usually really really strong… So, I can make a good guess? Uh... a few people are… loud? Emotionally. Right now, though." He seemed to wince, minutely. It was covered with a smile. He shrugged, "It's making it a little hard to isolate Bibliotech."

Marinette frowned and turned down a random turn the rest of the group had walked past. Paon Lilas turned around, "Mar- er, Miss, where are you going?"

Marinette groaned in frustration and smiled sharply at him, "Sorry, got excited."

He giggled, a strange (condescending?? No… fond?!?) smile on his lips. "I noticed. Do you need me to hold your hand? ...To keep you from running down every turn out of excitement?"

"Nope! Nope. I'm good." She stuffed her hands in her pockets and glared forward. Alya mercifully was too distracted by Paon Lilas to comment.

Féline Sombre ran past, then skidded to a halt and returned to the group. “Birdy! Seen Ladybug?”

“Nope, no Buggaboo yet. Nice of you to join us though, Kitten.”

Marinette wrinkled her nose at the nickname. Buggaboo? Really?

Féline Sombre frowned, “Okay.... We need a way to work through this maze to get to the Akuma and make sure Ladybug can find us...”

"We could help!” Alya said, “Marinette and I could make a book trail.”

“If you do that, I could probably more easily use my powers to track down Bibliotech’s emotions.”

"What?" Marinette squeaked, "Surely they can do that themselves. How about we… find a good place to hide while they do that!?"

Paon Lilas frowned and glanced at the group. He gently pulled Marinette off to the side.

"You're nervous and frustrated... Do you really want to stay here? Wait until Ladybug captures the akuma?"

Marinette glanced around. Easy out. She nodded. "Sure, you go ahead and I'll stay right here!"

"I could give you a sentimonster to protect you, and your friend Alya, if she wants to stay too. Then Féline and I can just go find Bibliotech."

"Oh you uh, you don't need to do that. I'm fine staying here alone!"

"I want to," he smiled, "I want to help. Trust me."

Marinette frowned and nodded, "Fine…"

He fumbled forward without warning, eyes widening. He quickly straightened himself out and took a deep breath. He smiled again, like the moment never happened. He plucked a feather from his fan and imbued it with power, blowing it towards Marinette in away absurdly close to blowing a kiss. The feather fluttered into Marinette's purse and the twin masks of light appeared on their faces.

"If you need anything just tell me," he said, "I can hear it, no matter how far." He winked and the light faded.

A fluffy, black and white dog with a pink floral pattern on its forehead and paws, sat next to Marinette.

Paon Lilas turned towards Alya and Féline Sombre. "Marinette's staying here with senti-pup. Alya, what do you want to do?"

"I'm going with you, I wanna record this!"

Féline humed, "Okay but you need to keep out of the way… I still have no idea what the Akuma is in so-"

"The pen" Paon Lilas said, “The akuma’s in the pen.”

Marinette blinked, “How did you know that?”

He chuckled awkwardly, “I- er, call it intuition.”

“Huh. Great. Cool, go save the day!” Marinette pushed Paon Lilas away, as senti dog barked at the rest of them, herding them like a sheepdog.

With the group finally gone, she ran down the corner a little farther and sighed as Tiki zipped out.

"I love Alya but seriously, I could've been helping Féline Sombre already."

Tiki giggled, "What are we doing with your new buddy?"

"Oh. Right. Uh…" She took off her purse so it wouldn't disappear in her transformation. "There, let's go. Tiki! Spots on!"

She picked up her purse and made a hush motion to the dog, who wagged its tail.

They followed Paon Lilas's lead Alya trailing behind putting down books to keep them on track. The strongest emotions led them into what must be the center of the library maze. Surrounded by Dunce Caps.

Ladybug ran in behind them, Marinette's Sentidog at her heels.

"Ladybug?" Paon Lilas frowned at her, "Why do you have Marinette's purse?"

"She, uh, gave it to me, I led her out of the building and she didn't want your amok to go to waste."

He sighed, "So brave," under his breath. He shook his head. “Let's get this over with...”

Ladybug caught his arm before he could jump into fray. "We've gotta be smart about this, this whole thing is a test, right?"

He glared at her hand on his arm and pulled away. "Fine, what is your plan, M’lady?"

She huffed and then glanced at Sentidog and Alya’s phone. "Okay, Alya, I need your phone for a second. Mind pulling up a recording?"

Alya nodded and handed her the phone. Ladybug handed it to Sentidog who bounded off, as the audio began playing. The Dunce Caps turned and followed the noise, leaving the entry unprotected.

The group walked up to it. Paon Lilas tried the door and frowned. "Locked."

"It's a puzzle," Féline Sombre said, pointing to the books above the doorway. She extended her staff to allow her to reach, and began rearranging the books.

"They're all classics, but," they clicked them into place, "They were out of order.”

The door opened. Paon Lilas raised a brow, "How… do you know the library’s organization system?"

Féline Sombre looked confused, "You don't?"

The group walked in, and Sentidog returned, no longer holding the phone, clearly having dropped it somewhere. (Alya meanwhile got out her tablet to record instead.)

Bibliotech sat on a floating platform of books. “Took you less time than I thought it would... Are you cheating?” He shook his head, “Doesn’t matter, once I deal with you, I won’t have anything else in my way.”

Bibliotech flourished his pen in an P motion and moved to tap Ladybug with it. Paon Lilas jumped in front of her, taking the hit. He disappeared. The staff returned to Bibliotech’s hands.

Ladybug gasped. "Why did he do that? Ugh! Stupid bird- Lucky Charm!" A box fell into her hands.

Bibliotech focused on Ladybug. She used her yoyo as a shield on each hit, searching for how to use the cardboard box.

Féline Sombre extended her staff to meet Bibliotech, landing a solid kick. Bibliotech wrote another Revise note and created another platform for him to jump onto, away from Féline. The red meter went down.

"It's an ink pen." Ladybug whispered, "Féline, destroy the platform!"

"No problem, Bug! Cataclysm!" Féline Sombre touched Bibliotech’s platform, and he grabbed their hand. They yelped and stumbled to remain precariously on the platform. Ladybug whistled and Sentidog ran up and grabbed Féline Sombre’s leg. She shifted to a less unsteady part of the platform, trying to shake off Bibliotech’s grasp on her arm. He readied his pen.

"You forgot the lid!" Ladybug said, and threw the cardboard box up. Féline Sombre grabbed it with their free hand, and caught the tip of the pen from Bibliotech’s attack.

Bibliotech tried to pull back, but the Sentidog grabbed Bibliotech's staff, growling. Ladybug tied Bibliotech's arms in her yoyo and sentidog pulled the staff away and raced down the platforms. Féline shifted to keep a hold of Bibliotech.

Ladybug caught the dog as it jumped into her arms, giggling, "Good puppy."

It dropped the pen and she snapped it in half.

The butterfly fluttered out and the book platforms began to crumble. Féline grabbed Bibliotech and extended their staff to catch their fall, sliding down.

Ladybug caught the Akuma and threw the cardboard box in the air. "Miraculous Ladybug!"

Paon Lilas and the rest of the people reappeared. Paon instantly doubled over and coughed. His miraculous beeping.

Féline Sombre ran over to him, "Are you okay?"

He groaned, but nodded anyway. "Fine…Ya know, I was going for knocking the pen off-course but, taking the hit works too, I guess." He stumbled to a wobbling stand. Ladybug walked up to him, the sentidog on her heels. He ran.

"Wait!" Ladybug called. He turned a corner. She tried to follow him, but the aisle of books was empty. He was gone.

A mask of light appeared on her face. “Hey, Marinette. Hope you’re okay. They purified the akuma. I’m uh, pulling the amok, make sure to get your purse back from Ladybug. Sorry-” The mask disappeared, presumably because he had detransformed.

Sentidog was gone when Ladybug returned. She sighed. She was kinda going to miss that dog. Ladybug went to go help the librarian before her transformation dropped.

Adrien barely caught Duusu as the kwami tumbled out of the brooch, exhausted. He pressed himself flat against the bookshelf, taking deep breaths between bouts of coughing. Pulling out the mango chips for the kwami, he groaned and slid to the floor.

He didn't know how long he sat there. Next thing he knew, Marinette was crouched next to him. Her hand on his shoulder, gentle. "Hey, hey, are you okay?"

He looked up, "Uh… No." He glanced back at the ground, his mind going back to his mother. Her illness. Her unsteadiness and coughs. He felt tears well up in his eyes. "I don't think so."

#miraculous ladybug #ml #ml ladybug #adrien agreste #peacock!adrien #black cat!sabrina #sabrina raincomprix #marinette dupain cheng #alya cesaire #Peon Lilas AU #lila rossi #fly away fic #fanart's fanfic #fanfic #miraculous swap #the reason I'm writing this so fast is 100% Broadway's fault #sickness tw

23 notes · View notes

nagdabbit · 5 years ago

Note

66. "I said I liked PEANUTS, not penis." + 64. "You're so dumb I bet your mom used cactuses as dildos." 💜🖤🤍👽

💜💜💜💜 HELLO, I HAVE DONE YOU A FUNNY AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT A WHOLE LOT.

~~~

“You’re so dumb,” Billy sniggered, shoving Steve’s shoulder, just to watch the other man stumble and list dangerously. He loved Drunk Steve. Drunk Steve was the best. Drunk Steve yelled dumb shit at the top of his lungs at two-ay-em in a residential district known for calling the cops on wayward youths.

Billy fuckin’ loved Drunk Steve. He loved Sober Steve, too, of course, but Drunk Steve was always a good time.

Billy liked his designated position as Drunk Steve Wrangler, it was fun. He could get Steve to do all kinds of dumb things–safely, he wasn’t a monster. Got some of the best stories, the best blackmail material, and could lead a two-hour walking tour of Steve’s favourite places to puke on their walk back to campus.

The only issue was that Billy hadn’t been aware that his wrangling services had been required that evening. Because he thought it was a date. Because Steve said, out loud, to Billy’s face, directly, the words, ’It’s a date,’ when Billy agreed to meet him at Joe’s.

So he didn’t get the long stumble back to campus he had expected–one with significantly more making out against whatever storefronts and picket fences they passed–but it was a fun stumble, nonetheless.

“The hell’d you just say t'me?”

“I said,” Billy teased, “that you are so dumb. Just the dumbest.”

“I am not!” Steve flailed at him, laughing and loud and having the time of his damn life.

“You’re so dumb I bet your mom used cactuses as dildos,” Billy said, just to see what other dumb shit he could goad Steve into saying.

Steve instantly shot back with, “Don’t talk about my dad like that!” And then he frowned, eyes going unfocused and fuzzy. “Did that even make sense? I don’t think that makes sense. You don’t make sense.”

“I make sense, how dare you.”

“And third,” Steve slurred, waving a hand in Billy’s face, “why am I dumb this time?”

“Did you hear what you yelled at Old Man Wilson’s mailbox?“

Steve shook his head, looking at Billy like he was the chaotic dumbass. “It was lookin’ at me funny.”

“Steve, princess, you took one look at that innocent windmill and yelled, I’d suck a dick for some penis right about now,” Billy said, lifting an eyebrow at him. “Followed closely by a, Man, I fucking love penis.”

Steve blinked a few times then threw his head back with a dramatic groan. “I said I liked peanuts, not penis! D'you even listen when I talk? I don’t even like penises! This is a dick-free zone!” he howled, motioning at his general being.

“We shared gym class,” Billy reminded him, biting down a laugh. “There’s at least one bone in that zone.”

Steve leveled an unimpressed look at the space over Billy’s left shoulder. “And, furthermore, why would I suck a dick for penis? That does-doesn’t make any sense, Billy-buddy. Gotta get that hearing checked out.”

“My hearing is fine, you gotta speak clearly, soaky,” he laughed and bodily spun Steve back around. “Come on, princess, still got a few more blocks to go.”

He flailed ineffectually, “Un-unhand me, you brute!”

“Walk and talk, pretty boy, you got class in the morning,” he chuckled, shoving Steve along. “For a guy that doesn’t like dick, you sure like chasin’ mine a lot.”

“I’m chasin’ you, not–no dicks. No clits, either. No nothin’ but, like, cuddlin’ and back rubs and cute shit,” Steve said, reluctantly marching along.

“So what happened to our date tonight?”

“I panicked.”

“You don’t usually close down Joe’s on Tuesday night when you panic,” Billy reasoned.

“My hand slipped.”

“Steve.”

“I just panicked!” he screeched, throwing his hands in the air. “D'you know how hard it is to, like, fall in love with your best friend?”

“Yes, Steve, I do,” he said, patiently.

“See?! It’s wild and shit and, like.” He sputtered in place of saying anything useful, grunted a few times, and then sighed. And then, “Butts.”

Billy bit his lip for a long few seconds, biting down on the laugh threatening to bust out. “Butts?” he prompted, voice a little pitched and strangled to his own ears.

“Butts,” Steve confirmed, “are great, right? You ever just grabbed a good butt? Fuckin’ heaven. But, like, that’s all I want. Get it?”

His chest hurt, jesus, from just trying not to laugh. “No, Steve, I don’t get it.”

“It’s a whole thing, Billsy, baby. Ask Robin,” he said with a nod. “She said m'not broken or anything, so don’ think none'a that. M’just a-ase–asexy, or whatever. I just like your butt and your face and your hugs and shit. And your butt. And your dumb, little laugh and the way you crinkle your nose–”

“My nose?”

“Like a bunny,” Steve confirmed. “An’ I like your hair and the stupid, little Clark Kent mother fucker curl that always hangs over your forehead and how you know my pancake order at the diner and your butt.”

“In that order?”

Another decisive nod that nearly knocked Steve off balance. “That order.”

“Okay. Were you gonna try and tell me all that tonight?”

“Yep, but I panicked and dec-desh–chose to not do that.”

“Wanna know a secret?”

“Oh my god, always!”

“You just told me.”

Steve froze, then spun around in horror, grasping for Billy’s jacket, “Oh no, Billy m’not doin’ a good job!”

“No, no, you did a great job,” Billy chuckled, patting his shoulder. “You like me for my butt and my stunning personality and, also, my butt. No fuckin’ and just cuddlin’ and you’re just as in love with me as I am with you. Did I forget anything?”

Steve blinked at him, owlishly. His eyes weren’t focusing all that well, and Billy got the feeling he was doing most of the work in keeping Steve standing, but at least the statement made it through the haze of PBR. “No, that all checks out.”

“Good, so it is was a success?”

“Huh. I guess so.”

“Good. Now, you are too drunk to work out the details of this arrangement,” Billy said, and pressed a kiss to Steve’s cheek and then spun him back around. Held him steady so he didn’t fall on his face. “So, what we’re gonna do, hot stuff, is get back to your dorm, get you tucked in, and we’re not gonna let you fall on your face on the way. Sound good?”

“But kisses,” Steve whined, trying to spin back around.

“Kisses later. Walking first,” Billy said, lovingly frogmarching him forward. “Tell me how much you like peanuts again.”

Steve gasped. “Billy, I didn’t eat, we need t’go back t’Joe’s an’ get some of the peanuts.”

#asexual fic #ace fic #asexual fic collection #harringrove #stranger things fic #my fic

87 notes · View notes

lovlieziam · 5 years ago

Note

If you're still doing those cute little prompts, 165. and 191. ;)))

It’s cute that you think I wouldn’t do anything for you. (Even months later I’m so sorry I’m the worst y’all)

Also, apparently all ya gotta do to get me to write something (slightly) porny is get me tipsy. Who knew 🤷🏻‍♀️ That being said, please forgive me if this makes zeros sense I’m almost finished with my second bottle of wine ahakshjk.

165. “Do you like it when I touch you like that?”

191. “Behave.”

The problem wasn’t the way Liam was touching him. No, that wasn’t the problem at all.

The problem was they were in public. The problem was that Liam knew exactly what got Zayn going, and he was absolutely shameless about it. The problem was that Liam took his knowledge and used it to his advantage, no matter where they were.

The problem was Liam liked to touch Zayn—excessively, intimately—in public. Because he was an absolute tease. And, as much as Zayn hated to admit it, he enjoyed the thrill that ran through him, the adrenaline that rushed through his veins at Liam’s more intimate touches while they were in a crowded room—while they were surrounded by people with prying eyes and nosy mindsets, people who were dying to get any kind of gossip, any kind of blackmail on them.

It was surprisingly erotic, and Zayn wasn’t sure how he felt about knowing this about himself.

“Liam,” Zayn scolded, taking a slight step away as Liam’s hand made a path down his side, fingers slipping into the back of his slacks, underneath his jacket so it went unnoticed by prying eyes.

“Yes, dear?” Liam murmured, his lips brushing against The shell of Zayn’s ear. A shiver racked its way down Zayn’s spine at the whisper, at the ways Liam’s determined fingers weren’t detered by Zayn’s slight step away.

If Zayn was being honest with himself, he didn’t really want to escape. Liams fingers were as talented as ever, tracing along his pant-line, skirting around to the front before dipping below, his talented fingers skimming, skimming, skimming until—

“Liam, behave,” Zayn bit out, his voice more breathless than he would’ve liked. Liam, in response, stepped in front of Zayn, effectively blocking his teasing fingers from the view of prying eyes.

“Hmm?” Liam hummed, nosing his way along Zayn’s throat as his hand finally reached its intended destination, the fingers curling around Zayn’s half hard cock and causing an abortive moan to slip out of Zayn’s throat. “Don’t you like the way I touch you, Zayn?” Liam husked.

Zayn didn’t answer, just closed his eyes and fisted his hands into the lapels of Liams jacket as another shiver ran through his body.

“Answer me,” Liam demanded, his tone all command, and Zayn couldn’t stop his moan if he tried. “Do you like it when I touch you like that? Like it when my touch has you breaking apart in front of this room full of people?” His grip tightened, causing a gasp to fight its way up Zayns throat. He bit into his bottom lip, desperate to keep any noises swallowed down.

It was only kind of working.

“Liam, please,” Zayn gasped out, more than a little desperate at the teasing strokes Liam was giving him. He couldn’t lose his composure, not in this room full of people, but the grip he had on the last of his dignity was slowly slipping away.

If Liam didn’t give give him what he so desperately needed soon, Zayn was more than ready to start making a fool of himself—room full of crowded people be damned.

“Shhh,” Liam murmured, his hand slipping free of Zayn’s pants, much to his disappointment. “I’ve got you, baby. Gonna take real good care of you.”

Zayn let out a plantative whine, his fists only tightening their grip. “Liam,” he gasped, the only word he was capable of at this point, too worked up and overwhelmed to even try and think of another word.

“I’ve got you,” Liam murmured, tucking Zayn into his side and quickly ushering them to the door without saying their goodbyes. “I know what you need, sweetheart. You’ve been so good, don’t worry, I’m gonna take care of you, love.”

#whew we’re really going through it y’all #i cannot feel my face at this point #ANYWAY #enjoy!#mara i love #you a lot please forgive me for taking 100000 years #ziam #ziam fic #fics #ask prompt #my writing

20 notes · View notes

raindrop-on-a-spiderweb · 6 years ago

Text

On The Street Where You Live, Part 3

Last part guys. After this I will try and work on the main story. Hope you enjoyed this crazy AU!

***

Patience stared at the bathroom wall, tears welling in her eyes.

Her period always came like clockwork, every second of the month. It was the fourteenth, and she was late. This morning she had woken up nausea so severe she vomited in the toilet. And the nausea had struck again in gym class.

Someone rapped irritably on the bathroom door. "Are you done in there?"

"NO!" She burst out.

She heaved silent sobs, burying her face in her hands. There was graffiti on the bottom of the door. EVAN AND BETH FOREVER surrounded by a heart.

She wondered who Evan and Beth were. They were probably a happy couple, waiting to graduate and marry. He would probably have a good job, and her parents would like him, not like Patience and Salvatore.

She pressed the heels of her wrists into her eyes and let her sobs overwhelm her.

***

It was a bright afternoom at the butcher shop, and for once, the only thing that was being chopped there was meat. A black-haired young man was taking inventory when the front door jangled and he looked up.

As soon as Salvatore saw who it was, he appeared frustrated. "What the hell are you doing here, Leo Angelino?"

The boy looked about as out-of-place in the butcher shop as a lion would on a Kansas farm, with his uniform and carefully coiffed hair. "I am not frequenting your lovely establishment for the charming array of services you offer. I am here to speak to a certain person, that person being you."

"You coulda just said 'I'm here to talk to you.'"

"Yes, but then I wouldn't be able to see the charming look on your face as you attempted to the decipher the big words in my speech."

"What the fuck do you want?"

He put his elbows on the counter and leaned forward until his nose nearly touched Salvatore's. "I hear you're dating Richard Winslow's daughter."

Salvatore looked disgrunted. "Well, I was for a while. Don't know where she's gotten to as of late."

Leonardo toyed with the edge of the frayed paper menu. "I think, for the good of you both, you should stop seeing her."

"That ain't none of business, you god damn faggot. What do you care?"

"Just look at you. You already have a criminal record, you work a dead-end job, you have no prospects. You're just a hooligan from the wrong side of the tracks."

He leaned closer, and Salvatore stood his ground, but his fists were clenched and trembling.

"She deserves so much better than you and you know it. That's probably why she's not seeing you anymore. She realized that you're no good, Salvatore. It would be best if you simply... moved on."

"SHUT UP!"

He pushed Leonardo backwards. "If you ain't buying, you got no reason to be here. If you don't get out right now I'm gonna throw you out."

Leonardo held up his hands, backing away, but kept that irritating smile on his face. When the door swung shut, Salvatore turned and punched the wall, his fist crumpling the cheap wood.

His father barked at him to get back to work, and he did so slowly.

***

Leo was there. He was always there. She wanted to punch him as soon as he looked over at her and smiled.

"Patience honey, welcome home. There's a sandwich in the fridge for your lunch. I'm making pot roast tonight." Marilyn crossed one leg over the other, and Patience noted she wasn't wearing pantyhose. "Can you take the clothes out of the drier?" She flipped her hair ostentatiously, eyes on the young blond man beside her.

Tormented by her thoughts, she trudged down the basement. Her mind was whirring, caught in a circle like a broken toy, and she didn't notice someone enter in after her until the door clicked shut.

She whirled around. "What are you doing here?" Her blood pressure spiked as she recognized the golden-haired menace that had ruined her life.

"Just here to help with laundry. I'm always around the house, so it's just natural that I help with chores."

The basement was really more of closet. There was enough room for a washer and dryer and that was about it. So he and Patience were stuck very close, so close they could not help but touch as they unloaded the drier. His hand skimmed her breasts, bottom and back, all under the pretense of accidence.

"Stop it!" She snapped. "Just--just hold the basket!"

After she was done loading the clothes, she turned to the door, he held it shut with his arm. He stood there, face an inch from her own, staring intently. He cocked it. "Patience."

For some reason she was afraid, even though he had no way of telling, that he had found out about her pregnancy. He's going to blackmail me. Just another way he has power over me.

"Why don't you like me?"

She started. It sounded like an honest question. Maybe it was. "Because you're sleeping with my mom and making her run around on my dad."

"Hmm. Well, maybe that can change." Leonardo hoped on top of the washing machine, staring down at her. "You really want me to stop fooling with your mother?"

"Yes, I do! Just leave her alone! Leave my whole family alone!"

"Well. Maybe we can come to an agreement." He smiled, showing perfect white teeth. "How about this. I stop with your mother... and you take her place."

She stood frozen, teeth gritted and body made of stone. "I--" and for a moment she thought, then Mom and Dad will stay together. I'm pregnant, he can't do anything to me like he was threatening to. Maybe just--just to keep him away from Mommy--

He took her by the arm and pulled her forward. "My father is very rich. I'm going to Yale next year. I'm an even an Altar Boy at The Church of the Holy Virgin

That boyfriend of yours is no-good and you know. I can buy you anything you want, get you a house, take you to Europe."

He sounded like he was giving her more of a sales pitch than asking her to be his lover. She studied him closely, at his fine, delicate features, his high cheekbones and arched nose and long eyelashes. Could she wake up beside him?

She just focused on his features, trying to ignore everything else about the boy, all her memories of the way he had slammed her against the wall and forced his way into her, about how her mommy looked at him with adoring eyes, on the disgusting words he had whispered in her ears that fateful night, and just focused on those blue, blue eyes.

He leaned down slowly, giving her time to pull away, and cupped her face. When his mouth was a fraction away from hers, and his breath was spilling over her lips, she yanked away, her gorge rising.

"Get lost, Borghese. I'm never going to be your girl," she snarled resentfully, her bitterness taking over as she carried the basket of laundry out of the basement.

***

"Well, hey there, Pat. Haven't seen you around lately."

Jack Salandra was sitting outside the butcher shop in a folding chair, smoking a cigarette.

"Do you know where Salvatore is?"

"He's in the back talking to someone."

"I need to speak with him."

"He's busy. You should come back in an hour, I think he'll be closing up."

"No. You don't understand. I REALLY need to speak with him."

Something in her trembling voice gave him pause, and he put out his cigarette and stood up. "Give me a minute."

Soon after, Sal emerged, looking livid. His butcher's apron was stained with blood. "What the fuck is your problem? First we go to the prom together. Then you ghost me for a whole month, leaving me wondering what the hell happened to you. And now you're showing up at my door begging to talk to me?"

She swallowed hard and looked down the street. "It's... it's really, really important. Is there somewhere where we can be alone?"

He led her to an alleyway behind the butcher shop, occupied only by a dumpster where she assumed spoiled meat was dumped because of the smell.

She took a deep breath, skin prickling, and when she spoke the words, the shocked silence was so loud it buzzed in her ears.

"I'm pregnant."

Salvatore's face settled into a blank look of shock. His eyes were so wide around his black iris that it was ringed by white.

"A-are you sure?"

"Yeah. My mom had the same symptoms when she was pregnant with me. And it's--the timeline adds up. I know... it's yours, Salvatore."

Salva slowly sank to the ground, shaking. "Oh fuck. Oh fuck. This isn't happening. This can't be happening. Vaffanculo..." and he began to sob.

Him crying make her start to cry too, but she lashed back. "What are you crying for? You're not the one who's pregnant!"

He wiped his tears off with his bloody apron.

Patience felt the weight of despair crush her, a woman barely into her teens and saddled with the child of the last person she'd want to be pregnant by. How could she finish high school now? What would her parents say? Did she have to get married? She didn't want to marry Salvatore. She wanted to go to college and be a police officer like her father. How could she do that with a child, and married to someone she'd more likely arrest than not? He smoked. He skipped school. He hit her. That 'bad boy' image he gave off that had so charmed her at first now alienated her, disgusted her. How could she marry someone like that?

Life was going too fast for her. She wanted this to be a nightmare she would wake up from.

"What are we gonna do, Salvatore?"

"I gotta tell my mom. Fuck, she's gonna kill me. It's all over. You better tell your parents too."

The thought of introducing Sal as the father of her child made her feel sick. She often hated how long the walk back to her house from the butcher shop was, but this time, she wished it were longer. Every step she took was weighted down by concrete blocks.

When her two-story green townhome came in sight, her heart began to pound. When she pulled the door open, she saw her father in a sweater, reading the news, and her mom watching television.

When her father saw her, he got up to hug her. She hugged her father, inhaling his familiar smell. She never wanted to let go.

"I'm sorry I've been away for so long, baby. Work's been rough. But the Chief is giving me some time off this week. What do you say you, your mom and I do something this weekend? Go to an amusement park? See a movie?"

Oh, daddy. If only you knew.

"That sounds good, Daddy." She kept the sob out of her voice, but it welled up again as she sat down beside her dad to watch TV. Harry Truman was giving a speech. Every single word out of his mouth might as well have been gibberish.

"Honey, have you been crying?" Mommy looked up. She was in her favorite dress, the red gingham one. Patience remembered her wearing it a lot as a child. Her apron was smeared, like she had just been cooking.

"Are you all right? Did Mr. Oleson yell at you again? Tell your mommy."

"No." She wiped her eyes. "I--I--I need to, talk, to you. About something?"

"What is it, junebug?" Daddy looked down at her, worry knitting his brow. His green eyes, just like hers, were filled with concern as more tears streaked down her face.

"I'm--" her voice caught in her throat like a stone. "I'm pregnant."

For a moment, all she heard was Harry Truman's voice crackling through the speakers.

Then two things happened.

Her father leaped up and started shouting, and her mother began to sob.

"You're fifteen years old! You are fifteen years old! How did you let this happen?"

"No, no, oh god, please no, Patience--"

"How could you ruin your life like this? You were going to college! You're on the honor roll! How, how could you be so--" Richard was shouting, red in the face, and he took her by her shoulders and shook her.

"How did it happen? Who did it? How old is he? Was he your teacher?" Mommy was still crying, but she got her questions rapid-fire.

"No," she managed to get out between sobs. "I-It wasn't. He--was--he's in my high school. He works at the butcher shop around the corner, the one on Franklin Lane. He--his name is S-Salvatore Mallozzi."

The room went silent again, the calm before a storm, and then the storm crashed down.

"SALVATORE MALLOZZI? I arrested that boy for assault and theft! He spat in my face! You're telling me that you let him--" Richard was shaking hard, and Patience wondered whether he would collapse. He was gripping her shoulders so hard they erupted in pain.

Mommy had lapsed into crying again, except this time, more desperately. When she spoke again, her voice was a scream. She slapped her errant daughter so hard her face exploded with pain. "Why are you acting the whore? Where's your common sense? I thought you would have learned from your Aunt Minnie! A dago? Why did you let some FUCKING Italian--"

"You're one to talk!" She shouted back, holding her aching cheek. Her fury and agony was bursting, making her lash out. "What with you and Leonardo!"

The moment she let those words leave her lips, she regretted it more than anything in her life.

Her daddy loosened her arms, slowly, and turned to his wife. "Marilyn," he said, his voice sapped of emotion.

Mommy looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "I was going to tell you," she whispered.

He sat down, shaken and pale. "Why?" He asked simply. "Why Silvio's son?"

"You were never here," she said. "He was. He told me I was beautiful. He--" she stopped and looked away. "I know I can't explain it to you. I know nothing I can say would explain it. But it's so lonely without you."

Richard said nothing, but buried his face in his hands.

Patience sat, frozen, aware distantly of her life crumbling around her. She felt like she was floating above the room, looking down at a bunch of strangers.

"Richard," Mommy said, "I'm leaving you. And I'm taking Patience."

This isn't happening. This isn't happening.

Richard walked over to the liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of amber liquid. He chugged his first few swallows straight from the bottle. Then he took a crystal glass and poured a generous amount in it.

Harry Truman was talking about the Soviet Union.

The three sat in absolute silence, the only sound the clinks of Daddy's glass and the occasional sniff of Mommy's.

How much time had passed, she did not know, but Daddy finally drained his glass and sat up before making his way purposefully to the door.

Patience jumped. "Daddy, where are you going?"

He did not answer, but she had a forboding feeling she knew, so she followed him out of the door.

Richard took step after step, and although he was staggering drunk, his mind was laser-focused on one thing. He ignored his daughter's pleas as he headed for the one place Patience feared--the butcher shop.

As soon as it came within sight she seized his arm, but he shook her off like a fly. One hundred and fifty pounds of Massachusetts rage bulled his way into the butcher shop.

Salvatore was sitting at a table, holding an icepack to his cheek. Opposite him was Malone, and a smattering of other undesirables. Richard marched up to the table and decked Salvatore.

The crack was louder than anything in the room, and Salvatore was flung backwards onto the floor. Richard was shouting drunkenly, drowning out the pleas of Malone.

"Winslow! Calm yourself! The boy's mother is crying in the next room!"

"YOU FUCKING DIRTY CRIMINAL WOPS--"

"Winslow! Winslow! The boy has agreed to marry the girl, there nothing to be upset about!"

"As if I would let my daughter marry one of you people! Patience is fifteen! I have my handcuffs here and I am arresting him and taking him to jail! I'm putting him away on statutory rape charges!"

Salvatore had scrambled back on his hands and knees and had his back against the wall, trembling with blood pouring down his face. Malone was in front of him, blocking him from Richard's wrath.

"Daddy," Patience pleaded, hanging onto him. "Please stop this, let's talk, please stop yelling--"

He shook her off, knocking her a few steps back. "My daughter," he snarled. "Is not marrying that boy. She is going to an unwed mother's home, and when the baby is adopted, she is coming back and she is finishing her education. Put the god damn handcuffs on!"

He lunged forward, and Malone pulled a bat out from behind the counter. They clashed with the thud of wood on skin.

Patience sat there, sobbing quietly as her father fought fiercely, throwing punches and shouts against weapons.

And as the other people in the butcher shop closed in, she didn't want to see her daddy beaten within an inch of his life, so she backed out of the butcher shop, her shoulders against the glass.

She ran home, the sky waning on her and the sky beginning to warm with orange on the horizon. Each thudding step she took jolted her to her brain.

The home she saw looked alien now--it held no comfort for her. When she pushed in, heaving her breaths, her mommy was on the phone. She heard the word Leo.

When she came inside, her mommy put down the phone and looked up. She opened her mouth to say something, but said nothing.

Patience stood there silently.

Surveying the wreckage of her life and the ways it would go from now on, she made the wisest decision of her short life.

***

Patience shoved handfuls of her clothes into her suitcase, breaths trembling and frantic. She stopped by her parents' room and swept the emergency money in the bedside drawer into her suitcase.

She clicked the suitcase shut and ran downstairs, her shoes thudding on the steps. Her mother met her in the living roo, saw her suitcase, and she panicked. "Where are you going, Patience?"

"Away. I'm going away, mommy, I'm leaving, and I'm not coming back."

Marilyn seized her daughter's arm. "Don't do this, Patience! Don't do this! Please, come with me, don't leave me alone!"

"Why'd you do it, Mommy?" All Patience wanted to do was bury her face in her mother's skirt and cry. She wanted to be a little girl again, when her parents loved each other and her.

"You don't know what it's like. You know your daddy is never here. I had to raise you by myself. You think he's the hero? You know why he's gone so often? So he doesn't have to deal with the responsibility. I'm lonely, Patience. And I've been alone ever since I had you. I'm fed up with it."

"But why did it have to be him?"

Her mother said nothing, but there were tears in her eyes too, and an enormous unsaid weight between them.

Patience looked at the face that was so like hers, the tiny nose, the heart-shaped face, the pink lips.

"I love you, Mommy. But you made your choice. And I can't stay here. I will not live with that man. I'm not going to an unwed mother's home. And I'm not marrying Salvatore, either."

She pushed past her mother, into the road, and chose a direction and started running, away from a broken home she would never return to.

***

Patience walked down the highway, thumb sticking out. Car after car passed her until a rattling sedan with a loose license plate slowed down. "Are you looking for a lift?" Called the driver.

The car was in such bad shape she almost refused, but the sun was going down and she needed a ride before nightfall. "Sure."

She put her suitcase in the backseat and hopped in the front seat. As soon as she slamed the door, the sedan was rattling off down the highway.

The driver was a young man in an ill-fitting gray suit and tie. He had slicked-back blond hair that was graying along the temples, despite his youth. "Where are you headed?"

"Just outside of town. What about you?"

He laughed bitterly. "Garland City Courthouse. I'm divorcing my wife. You know what the real ironic thing is? I'm actually an attorney. A public defender. But because I don't know jack about divorce proceedings, I had to hire my own. And I really can't afford to spend the money."

The car coughed, like it was agreeing with him. "I'm sorry to hear that. Why did you split up?"

"Because she's not satisfied with the money I make. She always wants new fur coats, new pearls, new nights on the town. Women are never satisfied. It's always something with them."

Patience had a distinct feeling that that was only half the story, but did not pursue it.

"I understand. My parents are leaving each other, too."

"Is that why you're out here all alone?"

She looked ahead as rain began to speckle the windshield. "Yeah. Well, that, and--" she thought of Salvatore, and the baby, and instinctively cupped her stomach. "Other reasons."

"You should go back. I bet they're worried stiff. If my son disappeared on me, I'd lose my mind. Of course, he's only two, so there's not a lot of places he could go."

Patience thought of her mother, lost, staying up nights worrying desperately about her daughter. About her father, coming back to an empty home without his wife and daughter. She rubbed her eyes. I'm sorry, Mommy. I'm sorry, Daddy.

I guess I was just too much of a coward to deal with this. So I ran away instead.

Then she thought of Salvatore, of what he would think, how he would wonder what happened to his child. Would he wonder? Or would he just be glad he didn't have deal with the trouble anymore?

The night was beginning to fall, turning the sky blue-black. Patience spotted a bus stop through the shield of rain, right besside the sign stating Robichaux National Forest. "Drop me off here. I'll catch a bus."

The man slowed down. She hopped out and took her briefcase.

The man propped up his elbow on the steering wheel. "Which way are you headed, kid?"

She shielded her eyes against the rain. The trees towered above her like black, watching sentinels.

"California," she said. "Yeah. California sounds good." Somewhere far, far away, as far as she could get. "Thanks a lot, mister. I never got your name."

"Charlie Sawyer." He shook her hand. "And you?"

On the spur of a moment, she chose a false name, one that, considering who she was talking to, spared her a lot of suffering. "Beth Evans."

"Well, Beth. Best of luck to you."

"Thanks. Best of luck to you too, Charlie."

Patience watched his blinking tail lights vanish into the darkness, and sat down in the sanctuary of the bus stop, waiting for the rain to stop.

She slid her hand underneath her shirt and held it there, as if she could feel the heartbeat of her unborn child.

It's just you and me now, baby. Just us, in this big bad world.

The rain poured down harder, as if it would never stop.

THE END

#bonus chapter

24 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Don't get excited or anything Janis: only talking to you to look busy Jimmy: steal my job an' all or just my lines? Jimmy: so proud me Janis: technically I got you fired from that one Janis: and not to get ahead in the java game myself so Jimmy: fucked my future as a recruiter that Jimmy: tah very much Janis: 💔 Janis: what can I say? Janis: your chat has left a lot to be desired from the start Janis: though I'd happily pick up a CG shift now, nothing to do with your skillz or lack thereof Jimmy: You could've started this one with 'oi Jim don't put persuasive on the CV' and have done, mate but here we still are pissing about Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: use your head and pick up a shift where Pete works now not where he burned his bridges if you want the good chat, girl Janis: Yeah 'cos you want me interrupting your bromance time more than I already do Janis: reverse psychology won't work on me either, boy Jimmy: Tell it to the lad who's rewriting a birthday classic in your honor 'cause that ain't me, babe Jimmy: Still got it bad after all this time he has 💘 Jimmy: #thejulieteffect Janis: God, Gracie didn't slip him an invite as a tip, did she Janis: will have to maim my face to avoid any further association with her, like Jimmy: Might've Jimmy: Much as we throw Shona on that Gracie sized bullet she's nowt but persistent Janis: Desperate is the word Janis: invite half the town, why not Janis: no girl needs that many 'idk you really so I got you a bath set' gifts Jimmy: Alright, alright I'll take yours back to the shop Jimmy: Calm down Janis: bung it her way Janis: still might get some 'gratitude' 🤞 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: cool so it's a plan Janis: you distract, I'll make myself scarce Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: it's not known to be challenging Janis: but we have just discussed your shortcomings too so yeah Janis: maybe baby Jimmy: having her about when I ain't being paid is proper challenging Jimmy: you wanna sweeten the deal, rich girl Janis: Hmm, what you got in mind? Jimmy: we both make ourselves scarce Jimmy: I reckon that's a better plan Janis: maybe ain't earned persuasive still but Janis: you can tick off problem solver Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: ain't gonna be a problem if have the dickheads in town have an invite to your gaff Jimmy: slip away easy through that #opendoor Jimmy: half* Janis: you forget I'm 1 outta 2 guests of honour Janis: sadly, you are the only one on that score Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: nobody but Pete's coming for you, babe and we can slip him a note ahead of time Janis: You really know how to make a girl feel special, huh 😏 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: is it worth me coming to you Janis: how long you got left on Jimmy: both feeling special now Jimmy: how #goals Janis: well you know Janis: hit up the CG already and the replacements aren't much Jimmy: 💔 for 'em and you Janis: don't look too 😢 for me when I show Janis: not #goals Jimmy: Drying my eyes on my apron as we speak, like Janis: need your 😎 Jimmy: that's alright til the fans wanna see my 😍 Janis: who are you kidding, Doris can't see in front of her face Janis: it's the accent Jimmy: she can see my 🍆 Jimmy: keeps her coming back Janis: please don't make me laugh Jimmy: sexual harassment is no laughing matter, dickhead Jimmy: she's a menace 👵🚫 Janis: you know you're asking for it, babe Janis: made your granny love no secret Jimmy: when I'm not 😢 over you I'm 🤤 over her Jimmy: busted Janis: can't fool me Janis: know what you're like far too well tbh Jimmy: see right through me you Jimmy: only gonna get more of a bighead the older you get, aren't you? Janis: don't plan on changing Janis: not that kind of birthday girl Jimmy: 👍 Janis: dunno why she's bothering Janis: 'less she can get Pete to fake marry her she ain't even competing Jimmy: shut up, he'd get a decent amount of song writing material outta that Jimmy: enough to consider it Jimmy: don't be giving ideas like that out for nowt Janis: so you're saying recruiters out for you but pimp/band manager is my calling Janis: cheers, keep it in mind Jimmy: can't be living off mummy and daddy forever, babe Jimmy: time's running out Janis: they're running out of kids who wanna be around them, more like Janis: you know they don't wanna be left just them and Gracie Jimmy: Give 'em the heads up and they'll have time to have a load more Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: 💸💸💸 Janis: if they do, not me Janis: and all the others Janis: splitting it 10 ways makes it less impressive Jimmy: actually 💔 Janis: I know Janis: babysitting is your primary gig Janis: soz, like Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: Poor, poor boy Janis: have to stick with your two Jimmy: You still ain't taken the 🐶 off me yet so it's 3 Janis: if you put 'dog dad' in your bio it's over Jimmy: saved that 💎 for the dating apps Janis: fairplay Janis: go over well with that crowd Jimmy: 🐶💕 Jimmy: gotta earn her keep somehow Janis: subtle Janis: what do you want, like Jimmy: other than 🐶💀 Janis: you love her, shut up Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: you love her Janis: I know what I've 👀 Janis: and I've got plenty of blackmail evidence for when this all goes tits Jimmy: I know how to fake it Jimmy: tah for all the practise Janis: mhmm, 'cos you did such a top job at that Jimmy: 🥇 me Janis: Sure thing babe Janis: best bae ever Janis: fake enough for you? Jimmy: might be if you didn't mean every word Janis: Idiot Jimmy: you love me Jimmy: and you're on your way here, deny it Janis: I can't deny I'm en-route Janis: but that's like 96% because I need to hide Janis: no funny business Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: only thirsty for a fruit juice Janis: I ain't a toddler Janis: and obviously, I ain't looking for you to serve me either 🤷 Jimmy: you ain't a coffee drinker and we don't serve booze, pisshead Janis: 1. I'm gonna subtly wait for Pete to be free 2. we'll think of something Jimmy: 1. enjoy helping him close 2. he won't be thinking of owt when he's this hungover so enjoy doing that yourself an' all Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: not entirely sure you barista boys are worth the hassle Jimmy: on you go then Jimmy: find a barman and solve all your problems Janis: no tah Janis: can't be going there Jimmy: 🎻💔🎻 Janis: it'd be like you cracking on with a miner Janis: assume your granddad was a miner Jimmy: be like me having a go on a 👻 Janis: can make that happen Janis: that kinda cool girlfriend, obvs Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: find out the equipment Janis: not talking 🍆🤖s Jimmy: so I'll meet you in the cemetery or what? Jimmy: #datenight Janis: Such an emo Janis: called it and you out from day one Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: You reckoned I wanted to suck Alex Turner's ballsack Jimmy: Indie and emo are different genres, mate Janis: It's all fringes and marding really, isn't it, mate Janis: point is, ghosts are everywhere Janis: have as much if not more luck in any house in this shithole of a town Jimmy: proper poetic you Jimmy: I smell a lyrical collab with your bf Janis: nah Janis: we both know muse is about as good as I got Jimmy: but there's no need to pass that along to Pete and have him 💔 Janis: Shut up Janis: he loves me just the way I am, and YOU'RE just jealous Jimmy: #duh Janis: if I wanted that kind of guilt-trip, I'd have stayed there Jimmy: The orchestra is raring to go here Jimmy: What more do you want? Janis: you Janis: dickhead Jimmy: I'm yours, dickhead Janis: Good Janis: I need you, like Jimmy: We don't need to be here, either of us Janis: I can't Janis: I can't be anywhere near that fucking party tomorrow Janis: it's not just because it's the usual bullshit family function either, like Janis: just Janis: nah Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: good thing I have a better idea Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: Nowt for you to do but come with me Janis: Alright Janis: obviously Janis: never gonna have better plans or better company 'round here so Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: come here and we'll go from there Janis: I am Janis: I'd almost forgot how long this bus took Janis: been that long, like Jimmy: you should be live tweeting Jimmy: fans love a throwback Janis: well, we both know what I should really be doing Janis: but ain't really feeling it and this bus driver is new Jimmy: 🤞 our top bloke ain't 💀💀💀 Jimmy: weren't meant to be part of the pact, like Janis: if he was on the outs, I'd have 💀 him at the wheel ages ago Janis: just that good Janis: call me the eternal optimist Jimmy: 🌹 by any other name Janis: peak romance always Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: you ain't seen nowt yet birthday girl Janis: Idiot Jimmy: 💕 Janis: do I need to bring anything Janis: not fishing for clues or nowt but could be relevant Jimmy: bring whatever you would to fuck off for a day Jimmy: we ain't coming back til its over Janis: okay Janis: just us? Jimmy: you can bring the dog if you want Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I draw the line at Pete's puppy dog eyes though Janis: 💔 Jimmy: You'll live and he's half 💀 so there ain't no challenge in smacking him down Janis: Hot Jimmy: 😏 Janis: is that my surprise? Jimmy: Do you want that to be your surprise? Janis: Yeah, I'm gonna be an accessory by admission Janis: think on, babe Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Your man of mystery bit is very unhelpful sometimes Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: soz you can't handle being kept on your toes Janis: oh please Jimmy: What? Janis: I could run circles around you in my sleep Jimmy: go on then Janis: maybe Janis: if the plans allow time Jimmy: maybe I'll make time if it's that important to you to prove yourself, Juliet Janis: I know I don't need to prove myself to you Jimmy: 👌 Janis: fuck off Janis: you love me Jimmy: You're alright, for a rich girl Janis: I'm the best Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt babe Janis: #duh Jimmy: #youknowthedrill Janis: town is finally in sight Janis: jesus Jimmy: the new driver ain't winning me over 💔 for him Jimmy: sort it out knobhead Jimmy: 🎅 will get there before his bus, like Janis: N'awh Janis: you missed me? Jimmy: for a sec or two Jimmy: not owt to get a big head over Janis: have to work on that then, won't I Jimmy: hate for you to be bored while you're waiting for Pete to make you a drink Jimmy: gotta give you something to do Jimmy: it'll take him ages longer than two secs Janis: weird brag, mate Janis: usually the other way 'round but admire the honesty 😂 Jimmy: been a bit since I've made shit weird Jimmy: nice to know you've missed it Janis: you know Janis: keeps things interesting, you do Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: part of the deal, like Janis: I'll renew your contract Janis: 👌 job Jimmy: tah Jimmy: might take you off the trial period for a bit Jimmy: see how you go Janis: 😏 Janis: might not hand in my notice Jimmy: won't have to get a replacement in then Janis: 💔 Janis: know how you love that Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: keep disappointing me, you Janis: psh Jimmy: It's alright, well used to it, me Jimmy: nowt I can't handle Janis: We'll put that theory to the test when I get there Janis: 5 mins Jimmy: good Janis: thanks Janis: by the way Jimmy: you ain't opened your bath shit yet Jimmy: leave it out Janis: I've got to work on my so real surprise/grattitude some time, babe Janis: want me to fake it when I'm there Janis: alright Jimmy: that top job you reckoned I did faking it goes double for you, girl Jimmy: I ain't helping Pete close so you've got more time to piss about having a go Janis: Not how I remember it, boy Jimmy: scroll back through all your feeds Jimmy: I'll hang on Janis: admitting you're more #basic Janis: cute Jimmy: surprise! 🎉 Jimmy: happy birthday Janis: 😍😋 Jimmy: 💘 Janis: love you Jimmy: I love you Janis: I really do Jimmy: Is it my turn to act surprised or what? Janis: You can Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: ages after I thought we'd run out Janis: just that good, baby Jimmy: I'll give you a few minutes Jimmy: deffo worth that Janis: and so generous Janis: 😩 Jimmy: too northern for that shit Janis: Nah Janis: this place has changed you Janis: 🍀💀 Jimmy: If owt's changed take your share of the blame Jimmy: 💕🔪💀 Janis: alright Janis: I ruined your life Janis: do something about it

2 notes · View notes