#if you’re like ‘we’re going to explore… our SEXUALITY’ that is a funny joke but I have already made it here.

[elodieunderglass]

Ok so you and I are meeting up. Maybe in your home territory, or maybe somewhere that you know well - don’t doxx yourself - but we are meeting up to explore something particularly. you are in charge of picking the museum, bog, weird antique store, bog, bookshop, bog, gallery, arboretum, botanical garden, show, or bog. Where are you showing me and why?

[ineedmojoe]

Six times Ryan described Eddie as straight

(Bolding is mine. I’ve highlighted where he’s said Eddie is straight as well as his point that he wants to “dispel” that just because Buck and Eddie are vulnerable with one another, it doesn’t mean Eddie is queer. I also bold where he says that it’s more important to show audiences that Eddie, a straight man and ally, can be friends with a queer man, and it doesn’t affect their friendship or "change the sexuality" of the straight man. I’ll also note that he answered almost every interview question that implied Eddie was queer this way during the end-of-s7 interviews. He seems to only not go into this spiel if the interview question is clearly about Buck and Eddie's platonic relationship. Edit: I want to add that I think the queer Eddie headcanon is totally valid, and I see how people see and write that from various moments in the show. It just seems like they have no plans to go there in canon.) 

9-1-1’ Star Ryan Guzman on Buck & Eddie: ‘It’s Baby Steps Towards Anything & If Anything’ — May 9, 2024 — Meredith Jacobs — Swooon (formerly on TVInsider)

Even before 9-1-1 Season 7, fans have wondered if the drama would eventually pair Buck (Oliver Stark) and Eddie (Ryan Guzman) together romantically. And now, with this season featuring Buck exploring his bisexuality—he’s with former 118 member Tommy (Lou Ferrigno Jr.)—the question does have to be asked if the show could go there with him and his best friend.

“We just got to the point where Buck is having this own personal growth of himself, so it’s like baby steps towards anything and if anything,” Guzman tells TV Insider.

Furthermore, he’s especially enjoying what this arc is “showcasing on national television: a bisexual man coming out to a heterosexual man and having the strength to do such, and then having the heterosexual man giving that man a safe space to be caught in and to be loved and nurtured. I think there’s still an air out there in the world that your sexuality preference determines if you’re weak or not, or determines if you’re capable or not, of being just a good human being, which is such a crazy thing to think about,” Guzman continues. “I love that we get to dispel that ideology and we get to showcase and reflect to the world that your sexual preference has no meaning in friendships and connection. Accept people for who they are, love people for who they are, and let’s keep it pushing. Let’s have fun. Let’s have a great time.”

9-1-1′s Ryan Guzman Reacts to [Spoiler]’s Return and Eddie’s Betrayal: ‘He’s Weaving a Dangerous Web’ — May 9, 2024 — Andy Swift — TVLine

TVLINE | I think I have more appreciation for Eddie this season after watching his friendship with Buck reach a new level. Buck is in such a vulnerable place, and it’s given Eddie a chance to step up and support him. A lot of guys come out and worry that things won’t be the same with their straight friends, but Eddie handled everything perfectly. He’s a true ally, that one.

I just access from my own personal life with friends that have come out to me. I think we were all raised in a generation where men were expected to be hardened and not access our feelings. … You can still be that type of man and be friends with a person who has a completely different sexuality than you. It has nothing to do with you. It doesn’t make his jokes less funny, the time you hang out with him isn’t any weirder or more awkward. If it does, the person who’s feeling that way has something they’re going through that they maybe need to come out to, too.

I would love to reflect onto the world that you should be there for your brother, you know, be there for your sister. If someone comes out to you, handle it with a net of safety and love and just keep it pushing after that. Like, “That must have been hard for you. Now that we’re past that, let’s go enjoy your lives.”

9-1-1’s Ryan Guzman on Eddie’s Shocking New Love Interest and the Consequences He’ll Face — May 10, 2024 — Ashley Bissette Sumerel — Tell-Tale TV

Guzman also discussed Eddie’s reaction to Buck coming out as bisexual earlier this season. 

“[Buck] coming out as a bisexual man to a person who is, not necessarily machismo, but a typical heterosexual individual with all these accolades behind him, that could be very scary for a man like Buck to come out to,” he noted.

However, when Buck reveals to Eddie that he and Tommy had been on a date, Eddie’s reaction is one of acceptance and love.

“Partly why I love that specific scene so much is because it was an opportunity to showcase to the world [that] this is how you handle that situation — that sexual preference doesn’t dictate how we should interact with each other and how I should treat you as a human being. And that doesn’t make me love you any less or think of you any less,” Guzman said.

“It just shows me what you like. I’ve already shown you what I like… and clearly, it’s my dead wife,” he laughed.

“Oliver [Stark] and I are aware that everybody has their own renditions of what Buck and Eddie are to be,” Guzman continued, referring to the hope many fans have that Buck and Eddie will eventually develop a romance.

“We love the love. We love that they’re invested so much into these characters,” Guzman said.

“Everything has to fall in its own truth, and at this moment, I think the beauty and the truth is that a man saw another man in need and was seeing another man be so vulnerable in front of him. And what he did was say, ‘Hey, I got you, brother. Don’t worry.'”

Speaking of the possibility of a Buddie romance, Guzman said that while he didn’t want to speculate, his feeling is that audiences are drawn to the vulnerability between the two characters.

“I can’t read the audience’s mind, and I don’t want to speculate on anything that I don’t know, but I think that people tend to lean on the vulnerability side. That’s something that I’ve always tried to explore in this character specifically because I can relate to it,” he said. “A lot of people feel that just because you’re vulnerable, it means that you’re a certain thing or not. And I’ve always wanted to dispel that a little bit.”

“You can be a very macho man and be vulnerable at the same time, but it’s who you’re vulnerable to. Because vulnerability is a gift. You just don’t share it out to the world. And if you do, you better have strength in that vulnerability and confidence in that vulnerability. It’s gotta be tried and true.”

“So, I think that this is another great opportunity to showcase that men can be vulnerable with each other and allow for that space of growth. And we might’ve met each other at one time in our lives, but it doesn’t mean that we have to hold each other to that point,” Guzman said.

‘9-1-1’ Star Ryan Guzman Breaks Down That Emotional Finale Goodbye — May 30, 2024 — Max Gao — The Hollywood Reporter

Eddie was raised with the toxic masculine ideal that he had to suppress his emotions, and it’s only been through his relationships at the 118 that he has begun to feel more comfortable with expressing his feelings. How do you think Eddie’s upbringing has influenced the kind of person he is in the present day? And as someone who has drawn plenty of parallels between yourself and Eddie, what parts of your own lived experiences have you drawn from?

I pull from a lot of my own personal history. I always had emotions when I was younger. Growing up in Sacramento, it was always frowned upon to have these emotions and even trying to understand them. Actually, I was told that it was homosexual to feel these feelings, and I’m like, “Wait, so having feelings makes me be this kind of person? I don’t understand this.” So it was always something that I never could understand in the setting that I was growing up in.

Now I use that as a conduit to Eddie, because the setting he was growing up in was similar. Coming into this new family of seeing Hen and now Buck being versions of themselves who are living in their truth, it now allows Eddie to live in his truth and see there is new life and new opportunity. He’s allowing himself to be vulnerable and realize, “No, [being vulnerable] doesn’t make me less of a man, and it’s not an indication that my sexuality has to completely change because I feel these emotions. I’m still the same man. I just now have a greater awareness and greater depth of who I am because of these emotions.” This has always been something that I’ve wanted to portray on camera, and having Eddie be the conduit for that has been an incredible opportunity for myself as an actor and as a person. I love the fact that I’m able to show to the world, through Eddie, that having this vulnerability with your brothers or your sisters doesn’t make you anything that the world might throw at you as a title. It just makes you more aware of who you are and gives you an opportunity for some emotional intelligence. 

Ryan Guzman of 9-1-1 — May 20, 2024 — Tommy DiDario — I've Never Said This Before With Tommy DiDario (Podcast)

Tommy (12:46): You can't predict the future. Nobody can on this show. But if the opportunity one day happened to come your way where they were like, "This storyline might be explored between Buck and Eddie," would you be open to that storyline in the future? I see you smiling. Oliver had the same reaction, a big grin on his face when I asked this.

Ryan (13:06): Yeah, you know, like I said, it's got to live in the truth. And I think right now we live at a moment, or me, I live moment to moment. So I love the fact that the biggest plot point between these two characters is one happens to be bi, one happens to be hetero, and they have this vulnerability towards each other. And that is the truth to me. It's the fact that you have such a safe space, and it doesn't matter your sexuality, that you have a safe space to talk to this individual, and he can fully accept you. If we can stay with that, then whatever happens happens. But I don't necessarily want to push the fact that because you're vulnerable, you have to be one way or the other in your sexuality. I would hate to, you know, have a lot of other men who are struggling mentally and not sure about, "Oh, do I even open up? Will that make me something that I'm not?" I would hate to push that narrative. So if we live in the truth, whatever happens happens. And again, I'm here for it all.

9-1-1’s Ryan Guzman Breaks Down Eddie’s Biggest Season 7 Moments: Bachelor Party Hijinks and More — June 10, 2024 — Kat Pettibone — Us Weekly

Whether it be through his military duty, being Latino, his religion or his relationship with Buck — which some fans perceive as romantic — Eddie Diaz is someone who makes viewers feel seen. Playing a character who can connect to so many, Guzman shared, is something he takes seriously.

[Note: Kat Pettibone shared that this is the specific question she asked here: “There are a lot of queer fans who see themselves in Eddie Diaz despite him not being canonically queer himself. How does it feel to play someone who makes people feel seen and represented — in a multitude of ways, but for queer people as well?”]

“I love the ambiguity of Eddie and that there’s connective tissue there �� for queer people or not — to relate and to fall in love and to find themselves in who Eddie is,” he said. “I mean, there’s a vulnerability in Eddie, there’s also a chaos in Eddie. There’s so much realness in Eddie. And I love that there’s so many fans out there of all demographics that find themselves in Eddie.”

Guzman said that he hopes to show “the more humane side” of Eddie, highlighting that “within community, we can all heal.”

“That’s what I see the 118 being for Eddie,” he continued. “It’s this therapy, this family, whether you’re lesbian like Hen or you’re bisexual like Buck, it does not matter your sexual orientation. We can all share the same dinner plate and we can all love each other and feel safe enough to say whatever it is we want to say. That’s the kind of world I want to live in. And that’s what I love about Eddie. And the fact that he gets to portray to all these other individuals who are militant and raised Catholic and very hard-edged, to let those boundaries go.”

[lightns881]

DTeam Tumblr Demographics Survey Results (Part 1):

The Gifted Child Syndrome is Real with this One...

*Rubs hands together in preparation for some juicy data and in-depth analysis of the typical member of the DTeam Tumblr community*

Ooooooooh boy! Here we go!

I want to start of by thanking you guys for over 400 responses to the demographics survey! Y’all have no idea how much I appreciate it! We have so much to cover, so I’m going to divide up different sections of the survey into several posts to make it more digestable and do justice to each topic explored in the form! We’re going to start of with, you guessed it, personality types!

Strap yourself in because we’re about to thoroughly dissect your sub-conscious innerworkings and find out how the typical DTeam Tumblr Fan thinks! (And judging by the majority personality types, you guys will probably enjoy it)

The Delicious Data

From the 449 responses we received, this is a pie chart displaying the personality types of all respondents.

Image Description: INFP (40.5%), INTP (15.1%), INFJ (8.9%), INTJ (8.9%), ISFP (6.9%), ENFP (4.2%), ISTP (4.0%), ENTP (3.8%), ESFP (1.6%), ISFJ (1.6%), ENTJ (1.3%), ENFJ (1.3%), ISTJ (1.1%), ESTP (0.4%), ESFJ (0.2%), ESTJ (0%)

In comparison, this is a pie chart displaying the personality type percentages of the population as a whole according to the MBTI website.

Image Description: ISTP (14%), ESFJ (12%), ISTJ (12%), ISFP (9%), ESTJ (9%), ESFP (8%) ENFP (8%), ISTP (5%), INFP (4%), ESTP (4%), INTP (3%), ENTP (3%), ENFJ (2%), INTJ (2%), ENTJ (2%), INFJ (1%)

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m sensing a tiny difference here... Oh, right!

INxx’s on the Loose!

It’s funny. When I first found one of the 18+ DTeam fan servers through Tumblr, I asked everyone what their personality type was. I was pleasantly surprised when a lot of them told me they were INFPs like me!

It actually reminded me of MatPat’s (Game Theory) survey for one of his Life Is Strange theories that found the majority personality there was also INFP...

Funny enough, can you guess what the second leading personality on that survey was? The third? The fourth?

You probably guessed it right. MatPat found that out of the fans who responded, the leading majority was INFP while INTPs came in second, INFJs came in third, and INTJs came in fourth. The exact order for the personality types in DTeam Tumblr.

But why is it that some of the rarer personalities of the world are dominating DTeam Tumblr or Game Theory’s fanbase? What is it about these communities that attract the rare introverted Intuitive Perceivers (INxP) and Intuitive Judgers (INxJ) of the world like magnets?

The Gifted Kid Syndrome

To answer this question, first we have to examine our leading personalities. As we can see from the data, INFPs and INTPs make up 55.6% and INFJs and INTJs make up 17.8% of the total respondents. That’s nearly 3/4′s of the DTeam Tumblr population made up of INxx types!

Now, here’s me calling y’all out.

A lot of you probably relate to the quiet kid sitting at the back of the classroom who’s put into some type of TAG, gifted program, or some authority figure has probably called you smart and/or “gifted” at some point in your life. Academics probably came easy to you at one point, maybe they still do.

You’ve probably felt your chest swell up at the shower of compliments about your intelligence and at another... you’ve probably felt like people put you in a pedestal and overrate you so you’re stuck with this inherent fear of failure, and it causes you to completely shut down when the things that came easy to you at one point no longer do so. 

It’s gifted kid syndrome hitting you like a brick to the face. And if it hasn’t yet, oh you’re in for a surprise, honey.

And I’m sure many of you have come across funny, relatable posts like this:

And you want to know why most of you relate?

Image Description: INTP, INTJ, INFP, anf INFJ’s rate the highest in a giftedness per MBTI Type chart

No. You’re not hallucinating. It’s not even a joke at this point. It feels true because it probably is true.

(Granted, the study that captured similar results to this graph is long lost to the internet, but the best source I found with it was a reddit post I will be citing in the reblog.)

Now, my next point is where we find a split.

INFPs and INTPs and their Need to Question Everything (even if it’s about one sentence [insert creator here] said that one time during a 4-hour long stream)

The strongest connection I found between the two leading personalities of DTeam Tumblr is they share Extraverted Intuiting (Ne) as their auxiliary cognitive function.

I’ll use a quote that explains Ne better than I could ever explain it in my own words:

“Extraverted intuition or Ne is very much focused on patterns and making connections from information they gather... Ne dominant users enjoy being able to explore things in a much more open manner, not wanting to feel closed off to the possibilities around them... They are also highly imaginative people, who enjoy being able to come up with unique hobbies and experiences... They are not afraid of imagining things which seem almost impossible to others... [For INFPs,] Ne is what creates this detailed and incredible thoughts process which keeps them busy for long periods of time.”

And another:

“Auxiliary Ne manifests in people constantly questioning the world around them, but unlike ENxPs, they can be more pick and choose about this. But generally, they don’t take people, things and events at face value.“

Now, think about the community you’re in right now. Think about the post you’re reading at the moment.

DTeam Tumblr is full of over-analysis posts, whether about Dream and George’s secret love for each other or about the inherent problems with Dream’s shipbait and gay jokes or theories about what’s going to happen next in the dream SMP lore and the dramatic betrayals and creator’s descend into madness and more theories about sexuality and charts depicting creator’s personalities and what they’d be likely to do in different scenarios and... ooof, I’m out of breath here. You get my point.

DTeam Tumblr is literally a group of ex-gifted or gifted introverted people who love to read or write analysis, theory, and discussion posts about sweaty Minecraft Youtubers because they’re probably too overwhelmed by real life and find joy in obsessing over “dumb” things.

That’s it. That’s literally the post. I might as well end there.

But I won’t. 

Because obsessions is exactly what I want to focus on next.

The Inherent Nature of the INFP and their “Micro-Obsessions”

This is me having a one-to-one conversation with all my INFPs reading this.

Do you sometimes just set your mind on a goal--like, let’s say, writing a book--and you spend so much time obsessing over it to the point where you burn out and suddenly it never sees the light of day because you move onto your next goal or obsession because now you’re getting ready to launch your freelance website so you can start a business on [insert new hobby here]?

Or do you just suddenly find a fandom or a show or a channel you really enjoy and you spend the next few months doing nothing but engaging with it and reading fanfiction and drawing fan art or making dumb analysis posts on your main Tumblr account where suddenly you get an influx of followers from that community and now people are expecting you to just post about MCYT!?

Oh, sorry, I got a little carried away at the end there...

Anyhow, my point is, do you ever develop an obsession over something all the sudden only for it to just disappear when you find something new or just fall into the deep crevices of your mind only for it to maybe reemerge a few years later after you get a deep sense of nostalgia remembering it?

I call them micro-obsessions. And I recently found out, I’m not the only one who does this!

Here’s another quote for you: 

“According to Carl Jung’s theory of cognitive functions, when an INFP makes a decision, Ne comes in second to another process known as Introverted Feeling (Fi). Fi does not use logic to make a decision. It uses how we feel about the decision according to our values. In other words, it asks, “Which choice feels right for me?”

Ne, on the other hand, craves new ideas and experiences to explore, which causes INFPs to always be on the lookout for something novel.

Unfortunately, INFPs can get stuck in a loop, going back and forth between their Ne and Fi. They search to understand their values by constantly trying new things. They ask themselves, “Does this feel right?” then throw it over their shoulder as they move on to something else.”

So, you’re probably asking right about now, Light, how the heck does any of this have anything to do with the Dream Team and MCYT!?

Well, my friend, it has EVERYTHING to do with the Dream Team and MCYT and DTeam Tumblr as a whole.

Because INxx’s are predisposed to end up in places like this--fandoms on Tumblr, channels that speculate whether Mario is evil, watching dramatic Minecraft smp wars and elections as opposed to looking at the news that depicts Murphy’s Law as 2020′s new favorite epigram. 

The introvert in them causes them to prefer socializing in small communities online where they’re not forced to engage in conversations if they don’t want to or put into uncomfortable situations where they have to talk to that one friend of their friend who wants to make meaningless small chat.

Their Intuition causes them to wonder into places like Tumblr where they can engage in deep discussions about their newest obsessions, and they won’t be judged for writing a 500+ word post about why Dream’s shipbait tactics are a genius algorithm strat or simping over sweaty Minecraft boys.

DTeam Tumblr is a safe haven for INFPs and INTPs who might be placed in the “other” category or marked as weird for being interested in “childish” entertainment or being different from the general population overall, whether that’d be sexuality, point of view, age, gender, etc. A place where you can fully be yourself and not have to worry about disappointing people.

INFPs are predisposed for drowning themselves in their micro-obsessions to avoid all of the madness in the world--even if that means giggling like a little girl while reading memes about your favorite Minecraft YouTube creators.

That is a deep-dive into the mind of a typical DTeam Tumblr user. What do you think? Is it accurate at all? Is it completely off? Let me know in the comments!

And with that, I digress. I’m not sure whether I’ll be covering general demographics next week or diving into the topic of ships (could be a mix of both), but I will be posting about it eventually, so make sure to hit the follow if you got to the end of this post and enjoyed it or learned something new from it!

Friendly reminder that this survey and post is in no way supposed to be taken 100% seriously. These are just the ramblings of a math major INFP with too much time on her hands and way too big of an obsession for MCYT. My asks are always open for literally anything, whether if you want to ask me about this or any DNF related subject, my own opinions, or just criticize the whole of this post and tell me it’s complete trash! I’ll answer as long as it’s appropriate!

And, again, thank you everyone who filled out the survey. Without y’all, this post wouldn’t be possible. I really enjoyed writing it! Adios!

[life-rewritten]

Gifts of BL! Aka Christmas Goodies For BL Fans Who Want Important Discussions About   Representation.

Oh wow, we're closer to Christmas. Where has the time gone?. So here's a gift for you all—another list of great BLS that will make you have a great time. If you find it fun rewatching and feeling all the emotions from these love stories, then I hope you enjoy these. Today I bring you guys a list of recommendations for our sometimes serious, sometimes heartfelt, sometimes innovative educators in BL that are very much needed.

Ah, The educators, the teachers, the serious topics, the displays, the emotional moments. Some of these shows decided to surprise me when I came in expecting something odd and not realistic; only for them to break my heart but also humble me and teach me and others some of the crucial conversations we need to have about LGBTQ+ representation in BL. We have couples discussing about their sexuality accepting they are gay or bi(Yes not just in love with only one person but they actually embrace their sexuality), we have essential coming out scenes and looks into the mindsets of people who struggle with coming out and being in the closet, we have supportive families that have to learn and show our characters warmth because of their own experiences, and we have metaphorical outlooks of what it feels to have to please society with the result of losing ourselves. These are the great BLs, they break our hearts, but they make it hopeful to see people who go through their issues and come out in love, strong and protected and supported. Their journey is worth it, so if you want to find some shows that give you these feelings, then join me and let's look at these great representations in the BL genre. 

BL has a bad rep. How could it not when the reason BLs were created was for straight girls who fangirled about two boys kissing. Not that I even hate fujoshi's, you're allowed to be whatever you want, like whatever you want as long as you don't cross the line and make people uncomfortable with outrageous demands or actions (like the fujoshi's in some BL shows). But BLS has become something more, though some people refuse to take them still seriously and doubt their authenticity, some people refuse to accept some shows as BL, they instead just call it a queer film or tv. But why? BL has become a place for people to run away into a fantasy of stories where there's drama, romance, comedy, mystery, passion and more. BL can be anything, and in 2020 BL showed it could be anything, it could be serious and well produced and not filled with its past problematic enquiries, it could be funny and still tug at the heartstrings, it could be deep and painful and full of lessons but still have a happy, hopeful ending, it could be any genre it wanted, from supernatural, action, thriller and more. BLs improved and also became a source for the representation of LGBTQ+. And I think that's beautiful. It might have a taken a while for people to learn, for own voices to find a way to write new shows, for risks to be made. But 2020 saw the influx of BLS that weren't just fan service but actually art or just good stories with a great message. Here are some of them. 

Thai 

Dark Blue Kiss

It's weird to say that Dark Blue Kiss is an excellent representation for the qualities needed in this list. But what can I say apart from the overbearing, jealous plotline and some irrational over reactiveness with some of our characters. Dark Blue Kiss and Kiss me again has always been a show that has been worth it. Dark Blue Kiss is one of the first Thai BLs, where we saw a supportive parent, and that's Pete's father. He's incredible; he's everything that's healthy, understanding and helpful. He makes jokes with Pete about his relationship but also supports and gives him advice. He's protective and sweet when it comes to Kao and Pete, and they are themselves when they're with him even daring to speak about things like intercourse etc. It's incredible; he was a breath of fresh air for parents we usually encountered in this genre. He had discussions with his son, and in doing so, we saw his son also have more conversations and discussions with his partner about what their sexuality was, why they should come out as a couple, why they were scared to do so, what was holding them back etc. Pete's dad isn't the only supportive parent with advice and warmth, we later also add Kao's mum to the list, she's always known about Pete and Kao and was waiting patiently for Kao to come on his own and tell her. It's incredible. Dark Blue Kiss brought out conversations that didn't seem meaningless, there was an actual exploration of the fears some people have with coming out, and it was brilliant and wonderful to see on screen. Honestly are we shocked? It's Backaof as the director; all his shows should be on this list, every single show of his explores these topics with care and heart. And it's incredible.

Why it's a gift

Deep conversations and moments where you see two people learn and wonder about their sexuality and how the world may react to it. Supportive parents that are understanding, helpful and sweet. A relationship that's incredible despite its flaw, shown wonderfully and thoughtfully. Even the hurtful moments like when Kao gets outed and also has to struggle with claims of being a predator is done well and leads to Kao finally accepting his fears and coming out to the people he loves. By the end of it, all Pete and Kao are back together, happy, finally healthy and mature. Dark blue kiss also explores these two ambitions, their dreams, their ideas for the future and more. And it also has a great friendship group worth stanning. Pete and Kao aren't the only couple in this show worth praising and noticing you also have Mork who goes through his own acceptance of his sexuality once he falls for Sun, they're also great and also have their own plot revolving around dreams, jobs and character and angst. A great side couple in BL.  It's amazing. 

Special mention:

My Dear loser: Another Backoaf directing, no words this is incredible, I think everyone knows how great this is despite the BL coupe being a side couple, that may have an ending that feels unfinished. You can watch both this and My sky for a full experience. This deals with everything so well and also has a great support system from friends. Chimon is such an amazing actor in this.

As always I leave a gift: 

LINK HERE FOR MY DEAR LOSER IN/SUN CUT

DARK BLUE KISS EDIT FOR PETE KAO THEIR STORY

I told Sunset about You

I mention this show on every list; it's like not even a surprise anymore to see it. There's a reason why this show is incredible why people prefer to see it as a queer film instead of BL. Why people think calling it a BL is an insult (which I think why? A BL should be allowed to be seen as a good form of representation). This show has it all. Honestly, a great production company behind it, acting that's phenomenal, and a story that will blow your minds each time you watch it and try to piece it together. What's even more respectful about ITSAY is that it's a coming of age done well, it showcases feelings of the youth and how feelings are seen as a storm that can't be stopped. 

Especially when you are struggling to understand your sexuality, we have two characters, Teh who learns as he grows that he has uncontrollable, addictive and crazy feelings for his best friend, they're drawn to each other, but Teh can't understand what he feels, he doesn't know what this means. He struggles to comprehend it as well with his struggles with ego, pride and selfishness because of his young age. Then we have his best friend Oh Aew he knows what he is, he also is torn apart by feelings when Teh reenters into his life, he also struggles through losing his self, individuality and his confidence because of his feelings for Teh. It's brutal, but one thing stands for sure, these two are meant to be together, these two love each other. Why is this so great? Because the directing and production of this show is serious, every single scene counts, every single action has a meaning, but also this show has incredible moments that show you the struggles of internalized homophobia. 

It's something that's always mentioned in BLS as a struggle. Still, this show used scenes to show it, like for example, OH wearing his mother bra because he wished he was born a girl to be with Teh. Still, then he breaks down in self-loathing only to later stand up and embrace who he is, and Teh who finally comes out to his brother in a heart-wrenching scene; another supportive and healthy relationship who understands him and tells him it's okay to be who he is, to be with Oh, to be brave and take a leap to what he wants. His brother's conversation is everything someone who struggles with the same issues wants to hear; it's a healing effect, a hopeful and painful realization that some people don't have someone like Oh and Teh's family who help them and let them accept who they are. 

It's a journey of discovering the truth about how so many people have to go through this fear because of what society put in our heads, it's a wake-up call, but the fact that ITSAY has a happy ending despite all the realistic representation and angst is a hopeful meaning for everyone who saw themselves in Oh and Teh. It's incredible. 

Why it's a gift:

It's unbelievable; it's not told to you but shown to you the amount of struggle some people can have when they're coming of age and realizing their sexuality. It's a beautiful representation of what it's like to fall in love: the angst, pain, healing but also sabotage, and the growth. It's produced with so much effort and hard-work and research on what would be an excellent story for LGTBQ to see. One of the best made BLs; this is not us being dramatic. 

.A Gift for You

GREAT OST PLAYLIST OF ITSAY

An Edit For Teh/OH 

He's coming to me

Another Backoaf, directing masterpiece. This show is incredible. Like words can't explain how good this show is. Words can't describe what a gift this show still is. How much a BL like this was needed. First, this show is already unique; it deals with supernatural world-building, with ghosts and mysteries of death/murder, it deals with also coming of age, and falling in love and accepting your sexuality. It has two confirmed gay characters who we see explore and finally reveal who they are, they've both known and as they fall in love, they have to go through the angst of what it means that they love each other. 

It's incredible, not just because of the fact that Thun's ability to see ghosts and his need to hide that also mirrors his need to hide his sexuality, the way he breaks down later after realizing that people won't let him just be him or the way people made him feel bad for being who he is. The way that Mes also went through the same thing before he died, and the person who connected them was Thun's mom. She's incredible, and I still believe the coming-out scene of Thun to his mum is one of the best as incredible as his confession on the rooftop to Mes as he breaks down in the rain because he's afraid he's been left. 

The amount of repressed feelings these two hides is insane, and when they later confront it,  it's like OMG really they knew about their feelings all along? It's incredible, with a show that already has an incredibly well thought out plot about ghosts and supernatural, but it also has two characters that are fleshed out, who both have discussions with everyone around them about what they are and the way they have a happy ending after all the angst and tears. It's worth it thousand times over and over again. This show is just great. And no one else can do it like Backaof he just has the most excellent formulas: supportive family members, supportive friend unit, serious conversations about sexuality and feelings, important relationships and no censorship, unique plotlines and risks. He's incredible. No words.

Why this is a gift?

The actors are also one of Thailand BLs veterans. Both of them are incredible and nuanced in their scenes; they make you cry, scream, sigh, and swoon. They make you learn, and it's fantastic, they're amazing people. They're worth it both Ohm Pawat and Singto, their performances are incredible. Every character in this show is fleshed out and necessary, the plot makes sense and isn't written haphazardly, and the directing is phenomenal. Watch it. 

A gift for You

He’s coming to me the whole show

PINOY

Gaya Sa Pelikula 

This time we have the Philippines if Thai isn't your cup of tea I guess. This show is just, so great? It was made with the intention for representation, a love story to the LGBTQ community, actors devoted to researching and learning about the topics presented in the show. This show is outstanding, no words, it's not preachy, but it's still educative. Not one episode goes back when you don't see the effort and brilliance of this show; each message of each episode is so important and needed. The story isn't afraid to explore topics which haven't been shown correctly in this genre, and it's so good they did. 

We have two characters, one a gay out guy (Vlad) who is very bitter about everyone and how they treated him, he's dying to be loved for who he is, and he's desperate to find a safe space where he can be himself loud and proud, he falls in love with another (Karl) who is more in the closet, with secrets that you discover later about his circumstance he's not sure of who he is and as the show progresses he and us get educated about everything. He learns to accept that he is gay. 

This show is about self-acceptance, love and healing. By falling in love; our characters are forced to question everything about who they are, what they've gone through and how that shaped them, and we realize that both perspectives is right in their own way. The show is for people who feel like the guy who's out, who wants to be proud and tell the world he's in love but also it's for people like his partner who feel guilty for struggling and having anxiety about accepting who they are, but this show doesn't force him out, it doesn't force them to be together, it just becomes a realistic story full of hope about the future of these two. It's a healing show; it makes you question your self, it makes you go through your own journey of how you feel you're perceived in the world, it takes you on a trip of your own self-learning, exploration and discovery. And it ends making you feel grateful for the experience of it all.

Why it's a gift:

 I think the best thing about this show is the other extra gifts it brings. It's music playlist, it's like your own gift bundle of new artists to explore and listen to every song is beautiful and needed, with different messages and feelings, you will find one music you love in this playlist, and you'll end up spending hours weeping about them. But it's beautiful, it's euphoric, and the show is worth it. The show has amazing actors and a great team of people behind the scenes. The writer is brilliant, poetic and serious; he knows how to make a plot. He knows how to teach you without you feeling patronized, he knows how to humble you if you didn't know anything before. He's just great. 

A gift for You

GSP OST PLAYLIST- THE BEST

Gameboys 

I haven't mentioned this show on here before, which is sad because it really should be praised. It's an outstanding show that showed up during a time where the world was on pause. Gameboys provided a gift for everyone who looked for something during the lockdown in the pandemic. The fact it revolves around events in the pandemic, it uses it as a great plot device and has important moments that touch your heart and make you reflect on the situation without being too heavy. 

Gameboys is incredible; it also has a unique storyline, a Gameboy and his fanboy who falls in love with him and is confident he can win over his heart. Except, our Gameboy Cairo has to go through some self-exploration first, some self-healing and acceptance, some coming to terms with guilt and self-hatred he feels for things that happened to his past. This show makes you cry, so bring the tissues, I mean every show on this list probably does, but this show has so many moments, we have supportive parents, but even in a more heartbreaking way, we have warnings of what happens when people selfishly out people, the consequences of that, how much anxiety and fear you can have as you deal with internalized homophobia and being in the closet, how it affects family members, and what it means to finally accept who you are and stand up for who you are. It's brilliant, painful, but it also makes you grin from so many heartfelt moments we needed during a dark time. The actors are also amazing, and they make you feel everything they feel so naturally, they're also three dimensional and have exciting character arcs. There's a great support system as well in this show, with the best friend, who makes you smile whenever you see her. This show is worth it. 

Why is it a gift? 

I feel like without knowing it Gameboys was an actual gift for everyone who was struggling during the pandemic, it showed the reality of what was going on, but it also showed healing and hope and happiness derived from being in quarantine and lockdown. It showed that even in lockdown nothing had to stop, we could still fall in love, grow and learn about our selves if we wanted to. It also had a great love story to follow that was both funny, romantic and heartfelt. The directing was genius also, and it touched many people. It was outstanding. 

A gift for You

ALT GAMEBOYS: A SIDE STORY FOR ONE OF THE CHARACTERS

JAPANESE

Cherry Magic 

Finally, we come to this gem of a show. What else can we say about Cherry Magic? Oh I know, no one expected this Japanese BL to be so full of heart, joy, magic but also depth. This show is just ridiculously good, it's not as painful as the other shows, it's slower and more softer than the other angst in the other shows, but this show still tugs at your heartstrings and makes you laugh and cry. It deals with everything that has already been mentioned: self-acceptance, questioning of sexuality, trying to please society that you lose your self, being brave and finding your self, loving your self, etc. 

It's just so great, it's also unique a story about magic and reading minds that our main character has. As he realizes his person (Kurosawa) loves him, we watch Adachi struggle through self-hate, self-deprecation and anxiety to finally come out of his shell and become who he wants to be. This show has an incredible love interest who's just wonderful, he's the ideal man, but that doesn't mean he's one dimensional or stale. 

He's also deep, and has his own flaws and hurts, and the way he loves Adachi is just breathtaking and frankly makes you so jealous. Why is this show for representation? Because it's a slice of life of an office romance, it deals with what people go through in life, the gruels and requirements from work whilst also watching both our characters choose to be brave and come out to each other and pick each other despite their fears about what their environment thinks. 

These two are each other's healing, comfort, support system and they both have incredible personalities. This show is also quite deep, you wouldn't think so, but when you listen to the dialogues and watch some of the scenes, you'll see how deep this show can be for its characters whilst still being fluffy. It perfectly represents the fear of coming out and coming to terms of having feelings for someone you weren't expecting. Its message is more hidden, but it's still great for conversations about representation, in my opinion. 

Why it's a gift?

It was made as one; the last episode is coming on Christmas haha. This show takes some tropes of BL and chooses a healthier option, it also just fleshes out its characters incredibly, you watch how Adachi and Kurosawa changed each other's life without knowing and how their love keeps being needed by each other in many ways. It also is called Cherry Magic, because this show is magical, it makes you grin, be happy and excited from seeing one episode, it tugs at your heartstrings whilst making you blush and squeal from happiness. Its softness is something to look forward to after a hard day of whatever real life looks like to you, it has a healing effect, a warm effect and it makes you smile and forget your troubles in those few minutes. It's wonderful. 

A gift for You

Adachi and Kurosawa EDIT

I hope you enjoy these shows they’re all incredible, they’ll surely make you smile and be happy. They’re all important in their own way, if you haven’t seen any have a go and see which you love. Let me know if I’ve missed some, to be honest I chose the ones that had scenes with important discussions that make you think or scenes that bring out emotions and feelings but also make you learn and realise something. Hope you enjoy the recommendations or if you’ve watched them before hope you enjoy the reviews and commentary. Merry Christmas guys :)

Other recommendations

GIFTS OF BL FOR FANS WHO LOVE ANGST, DRAMA AND PASSION

[glitta]

Okay, so I need to just.. get some things off of my chest here. Because at some point soon I’m probably going to stop coming to the tag because I need to vent but I also don’t want to keep wallowing. It’ll make it harder to move on when I keep reminding myself of it and getting angry and sad about it.

First I’ll say that I am 100% convinced that they’re done with romantic barchie. I become more convinced each day. And I know some people are hanging on, which is fine.. you do you. But I also hope you see it soon, because I don’t want them to use you. I don’t think it’s fair, and we barchies have been through so much.

What convinces me that they’re done? First.. this was the perfect opportunity to go for it. If they didn’t explore it now, when the road was clear, then they’re not going to. Next..they made some callbacks to the first season, and they were in vrchies favour. The callback to the s1 party? Ended the same way. Archie going after Veronica. You would reverse it if you wanted barchie. And they even used the “if you love me” pilot song back in 5x06, which showcased Archie looking off - because he was feeling things for Veronica, as it turned out. So no, the answer to the question if he loves her is no. (now, I call bullshit and retcon, but this is the canon they’re going with now) Then you have Archie not showing indecision or being caught between the two and not showing feelings for Betty. I hate it, but didn’t. He said he was perfectly fine with booty calls, but I guess when it started mixing with Betty being upset after a nightmare, it started to feel wrong when his feelings for V were growing and he didn’t want to lead Betty on. Archie didn’t look happy when Jackson said he was juggling two girls.

Then you have Archie’s wildly different reactions to Veronica picking his key, and Betty getting his key. Like, honestly.. even if they wanted to go in a direction of him having to deal with lingering feelings for Veronica and then feelings for Betty getting deeper.. we would have seen him having feelings for Betty. Like now. And that’s not how it played. He just showed zero feelings. Which is a retcon from practically the whole series, but this is their new take. To erase barchie from the equation and guarantee the fans of those other ships their endgames.

Then you have “the break up scene”. Following on from the retcon, I’m just so frustrated with this because of the lack of effort. They didn’t explore barchie and let them really navigate their feelings and figure if they worked or not. They just had them had meaningless sex (apparently, at least on Archie’s end) and throw some reason out there why they ~don’t work~. That was full fanservice and closing the door by declaring that they.. don’t work. Even though it was full TELL and not SHOW. I still don’t even understand?

Take it back to Betty’s conversation with Kevin - where she was so happy and didn’t want it to end, btw. Like lets lay it out:

 “I don’t want to get too deep with him.”

“Why?!”

“He’s this lit window in the darkness. And I don’t ever want that light to go out.”

Okay.. so my take away from that is that she would like it to be more, but it’s a fear of losing him if things don’t work out and she’ll lose the light that he brings. Fair enough, I kind of get it.

But then when it’s a conversation with Archie, she just say’s they’re completely different people in their cores. ?? Being different people is not a reason to not be together if you get on. If you’ve been best friends your whole lives. If you have amazing sexual chemistry. And then with him being her light - damn, utilise that. Does it really make a difference if he’s helping her as a friend or romantic partner? Will that make a difference in not dragging him down if he’s there for her anyway through what she’s going through? It just doesn’t make any sense to me. And it’s not like Archie doesn’t have his own issues and trauma. But it’s again all in favour of the antis/other shippers who just want to know that BA are over and insist from their biased perspectives that they can’t ever work. The writers are full on catering to that, and I can’t for the life of me understand that obsession when you’re running the show to it’s end with those kinds of decisions. I just feel like they went.. right, we need to find an excuse why they wont work, and insert some word vomit and use the words “we should work because (cliche) but we’re different.” and think that just.. explains it all, even though it’s all tell and no show.

Anyway, I think that covered the biggest red flags I saw for the end of the ship. So now let me start on the thing that pisses me off even more even more than them fucking ruining my ship to serve the antis everything they want.

The engagement of the writers on social media leading up to this. You want to tell a story and do whatever you want? Fine. But I cannot grasp what kind of people take a ship that it’s fans have been waiting for.. for four years while they dropped hints and had them kiss and teased them.. and hypes them up and makes them promises of a romance coming up.. and then fucks them over in about 3 episodes by ending the ship for good. And rushing back to the other ship.

Who does that? How do they think it’s okay to fuck with people like that? And then they victimize themselves because people are calling them out. (note: not condoning any death threats or extreme things)

And it’s not even shippers that have a right to be angry, just as a side note. A fresh start and new things were promised. And they’re right back to the stale things? Make it make sense. You can’t.

You know, not that long ago I was still laughing at myself for loving a ship on Riverdale. Like no offense, but past the first few episodes I thought this show was a joke, and became more so. But I loved barchie. They were this little thing that made so much sense and seemed to have a set up for a beautiful story in the end. So I got invested in that. Jokes on me?

And I will never understand how they think it’s the best story to keep the same two couples together for the duration of the show with little to nothing else. They couldn’t keep them apart for 5 episodes through cheating and a time jump? It is SO insane and odd? It is so boring and complete fan service and actually ruins the show and makes it a joke?

And I’m happy that Betty and Jughead were “allowed” to have sexual relationships outside of each other, but at least 3/4 of these characters never got to experience another loving relationship outside of their high school loves..? (and I’m only excluding Veronica because I think at some point she loved Chad at the start..?) Now, I’m not dissing all high school relationships that go to marriage. But to just pair up two couples neatly with these core 4.. and have them break up for 7 years and still not give them these experiences and relationships is stupid and really fucking sad. You can love more than one person in your life, and it doesn’t discount anything.

And if they wanted them brought back together eventually, they could have actually had a much better build up back to it? Yet they’re just incapable of taking any time and wont keep them apart for more than a handful of episodes? I’ve never encountered a show like this, and that is not a good thing. At all.

And the fanbases they’re catering for are so entitled. And I guess that goes hand in hand with the constant fanservice, but it’s just such a toxic thing. I don’t think any fanbase are innocent angels, but as someone who has dealt with their shit and entitlement from season 1.. it’s just unbelievable and funny any time that they try to say that we.. I don’t know, deserved this? What does that mean your toxic fanbase deserves?

But let me clear about something: I’d never want your content and ships. More screentime, maybe. But even then the screentime and focus on two ships took over and at least the barchie fandom never wanted that with our ship. We were happy to share screentime with other characters. And if my ship had one cheating on the other with someone the other character had always worried about.. and they never apologised for the cheating? I think I’d be done. As it is there’s a lot of barchies that don’t excuse or forgive things that went down and unsure if they could forgive it and like the ship again.

And hey, I will take Archie being Betty’s light and never wanting to lose that vs I don’t know.. sharing darkness with someone else?

And barchie’s chemistry was unmatched. (and drew people back in that they will now lose.)

Anyway.. I think I’ve covered at least most of what I wanted to. Didn’t mean to get so anti-other ships at the end, but I’m just venting on everything.

[bewitching-elizabeth-olsen]

Press: Streaming, With Only a Little Trepidation

“I’ve never had more fun on a job before,” says the WandaVision lead who spoke with the Ted Lasso star about their shows, the Scarlett Johansson lawsuit, and what happens to the theatrical moviegoing experience now.

In Reunited, Awards Insider hosts a conversation between two Emmy nominees who have collaborated on a previous project. Here, we speak with WandaVision star Elizabeth Olsen and Ted Lasso co-creator and star Jason Sudeikis, who previously starred in the 2017 film Kodachrome.

VANITY FAIR: Elizabeth Olsen and Jason Sudeikis met for the first time just before filming their 2017 indie Kodachrome, but they already had at least one thing in common: a “big old crush” on Ed Harris, as Olsen describes it. “He did not disappoint at all,” adds Sudeikis. “He stuck up for us. He cared about us. He cared about the movie.”

A guide to Hollywood’s biggest races

Now, the two have much more in common, as first-time Emmy nominees. Olsen is nominated for lead actress for her work as Wanda Maximoff in WandaVision, a Disney+ limited series that explores grief and loss, through a superhero story wrapped in a parody of TV sitcoms. Sudeikis earned four Emmy nominations for Apple TV+’s darling Ted Lasso, which he cocreated, cowrote, and stars in as Ted, a cheery American football coach who attempts to coach an English Premier League soccer team.

In early August, Olsen and Sudeikis reunited over Zoom to chat with Vanity Fair about transitioning these characters to TV, their views on the new streaming empires, and what they think of the lawsuit Scarlett Johansson recently brought against Disney regarding the strategy to stream Black Widow simultaneously with its theatrical release.

Vanity Fair: It’s been quite a few years since you shot Kodachrome. What do you remember about where you were on your trajectories at that time?

Elizabeth Olsen: Of life? It was when I was at a down trajectory.

Jason Sudeikis: Personally or professionally? I feel like from the outside, it only seems like you operate in one direction [motions upward].

Olsen: From a personal standpoint. So, I was excited to get to do a small movie, an intimate job that had some levity. And that was really nice. And I have a big old crush on Ed Harris and I still do.

Sudeikis: Yeah. To know that the director was like, “hey, we’re thinking about Jason Sudeikis for this role” and then Ed Harris stayed on, It was like, “all right, pleasant surprise. Pleasant surprise.”

Your current projects, WandaVision and Ted Lasso, may seem very different but do have one thing in common: they both feature characters that originated elsewhere. Wanda is obviously from the Marvel films and Jason you played Ted Lasso in commercials. Why did you feel these characters would work on a TV series?

Olsen: I got really comfortable in the Marvel movies, taking up my piece of the story and my piece of, how does my little arc work in this much larger arc with 30 other characters? And so the idea of all the focus being on me and Paul [Bettany] totally freaked me out. And that it was on television felt weird because these characters are superheroes and maybe they should be seen on big screens and not televisions. But the entire DNA of the show was meant for television. It was written for television. The arc has to be told through television. And from an actor’s point of view, it was something I’d never done. I’ve never done sitcom acting, let alone go through the decades with it.

And I’ve never had more fun on a job before. We got to go to work and just feel like an idiot all the time. And all of us, we’d be like hamming, hamming, hamming, and use each other as these barometers of “are we doing this too much? Is this now just a parody? Is this a joke? At what point are we supposed to dial it back?” And at one point I did, I think, a quadruple take, and that was the first time the director asked me to pull it back and just do a double take. So it was pretty incredible to get to expand on the character and this world, but do it from a totally different perspective. I’m so grateful for that job.

Sudeikis: Have you hosted SNL yet?

Olsen: God no!

Sudeikis: No? Well, I’m not going to agent you and be like, “if they ask, would you ever want to?” But, look, I know you’re funny. It was really fun to watch you do multi-cam sitcom acting. And then the genre thing, it made me be like, “oh, she would crush on SNL”. You’re always going to internalize stuff because you’re, in my opinion, very, very talented and very, very smart. So then even when you externalize things, like a quadruple take, it would be joyful to watch even in the attempt. Watching the show, it didn’t seem at all like an aberration or like you were putting it on. It felt well conceived and well thought out. And it almost made me wonder if the creator was aware of that or was it all just an act of faith on their part.

Olsen: It was a total act of faith. What they did is they took comedy actors who are really funny and gave them the more dramatic stuff. Because they thought that would balance out when we failed. And we’re like, “You guys are very smart for doing this.”

Sudeikis: Now, are you putting that on them or was that articulated to you day one?

Olsen: We talked about it. We were so open about it. We’re like, “this is very clever that you guys put some of the funniest actors in MCU in these dramatic parts.” But SNL, I watch it every Saturday when it’s live. I’m obsessed with SNL and that’s why I would never! It’s like the ocean. I respect the ocean so much and that’s why I don’t need to go in it.

Sudeikis: I don’t know. I think we’ll see. This is going to be like Charles Foster Kane’s declaration of principles. “I would never host SNL.” And then, “And your host, Elizabeth Olsen.”

Olsen: So tell me about Lasso: small to big.

Sudeikis: Me and my buddies, Joe [Kelly] and Brendan [Hunt], did those commercials in 2013, 2014, and we then sat down to talk about it in 2015. And it was kind of like, “okay, is it another set of commercials? Is it a movie?” I knew what the character was and we all grew up with great sports films, by Ron Shelton and Rudy and Hoosiers and things like that. But then also liked Nora Ephron, you know? We wanted to make something that had a little bit of romance. And romance may not be sexual, it’s also a platonic version of romance. And the story just sort of spooled out of us in a way that garnered a pilot episode and then a well-beat-out outline for a season. Because we were kind of modeling it after the British Office where it’d be like six episodes, six episodes, and then maybe an hour and a half special, like a movie type thing. Not wanting to take up too much space and not knowing how long it would go. And so it only could be a TV show, was the way it felt.

And so then it went away for a while because that was in 2015. And then lo and behold, it comes back around when I met Bill Lawrence for this other project. That one didn’t work out, but he was like, “Do you have anything?” I said, “Well, we have this.” And I remember having a whole bunch of stuff in this office, more work than I think he realized. He’s like, “Oh yeah, this is definitely, this is a whole thing. Okay. Wow. You guys have really thought this through.”

Olsen: Did you have a [writers] room or did you already write most of it?

Sudeikis: No, we definitely had a room. It was like I knew the chords, I knew the structure of things. We had a great room of 11 people for the first season. With hiring people, we just had good fortune. I didn’t know it was interesting at the time, but asking people during the interview process who their mentors were, who were the people that encouraged them, who made you think you could do this for a living—you can learn a lot about a person by listening to them talk about their mentors, their heroes.

Olsen: With the jokes, I feel like they’re so quick, but they’re so specific to people who watch sports and who knows sports. Well, not all of them, but a lot of the jokes are. Do you have a list of ones that you want to get in there or are these coming up in the room? Because it gets me as a big sports person.

Sudeikis: It really depends on it. There’s some ideas that I’d had for years and years that are just from old notebooks that I used to carry around when I worked on SNL before you would type things into a phone. And storylines and themes and characters that have just been ruminating in my head based on other ideas for either movies or sketches that didn’t make it. And then a big part of the room is that we have this collective consciousness that isn’t all sports.

And then with specific soccer jokes, we do try to include jokes that we call “two percenters” that only football fans would like. Just as our little tip of the cap because we wouldn’t be here without that group of people digging our shit back in the commercial days.

Your shows were on Disney+ and Apple TV+. Did you have any concerns about them being on streaming services, which were relatively new at the time, and finding an audience?

Sudeikis: It’d probably be more so if it was like Goodyear TV+, if it was some brand that didn’t already rule the world of entertainment and technology.

Olsen: I did a version of that with Facebook. And I didn’t like that experience. I loved my show [Sorry for Your Loss] and I loved everyone that I worked with. But the Facebook relationship was frustrating because of the lack of television experience and how the platform is organized. When we went to season two, we had a meeting that our show called for Facebook to have with us, so that we can give them our notes about their platform and why we think it’s really hard to find our show on their platform and how it’s congested. So I was anxious going into Disney+. But I knew it was Disney. And I think I was more anxious with the Marvel characters being on television than I was about the Disney+ element.

Sudeikis: Golly, I didn’t even consider that. And you’re absolutely right, because Facebook would be closer to Apple. Truth is we didn’t have a choice. We pitched it to a bunch of different places. They were the only ones that would open the door and say, “yeah, come in out of the rain, you can hang out in here. You can do your little show in here.” And so, the trepidation was alleviated by the fact that there was nowhere else open to us.

Olsen: Facebook and Apple I feel like aren’t that similar.

Sudeikis: No, but they hadn’t created content before.

Olsen: Well, Facebook now is [scaling back] scripted content.

Speaking of streaming, both of you have starred in big theatrical movies. Are either of you worried about the theatrical experience, in the way that COVID has changed how movies are being released at this point? We saw how that’s playing out with Scarlett Johansson’s recent lawsuit.

Olsen: I’m worried about a bunch of things. Not worried on Scarlett’s behalf. But I’m worried about small movies getting the opportunity to be seen in theaters. That was already a thing pre-COVID. I like going to the movies and I don’t necessarily want to see only an Oscar contender or a blockbuster. I would like to see art films and art house theaters. And so I do worry about that, and people having to keep these theaters alive. And I don’t know how financially that works for these theaters. I do hope that there’s some sort of solution that the larger companies are coming together to keep, at least in L.A. this is going to happen. But I do think it’s going to be how it kind of used to be when studios owned theaters. And I have a feeling that we might go back to that being the only way to keep them alive with such expensive real estate. But when it comes to actors and their earnings, I mean, that’s just, that’s just all contracts. So it’s either in the contract or it’s not. What about you? Are you worried about Scarlett?

Sudeikis: Of course. How could I not? She’s married to my comedy brother [SNL’s Colin Jost].

Olsen: I think she’s so tough and literally when I read that I was like, “good for you Scarlett.”

Sudeikis: Well, I mean, it is appropriately bad-ass and on brand. I think it’s also married to yes, the COVID of it all and success of the streaming sites. But also just technology. I mean this thing [points at his TV] is as good as any movie theater, and all that stuff is getting cheaper and cheaper. If you’re a family of five and you’re going out there and it’s a whole thing. And yet the communal experience, towards Lizzie’s point is, is one that you can’t replicate in home. You can’t replicate through social media. I think both of our shows have succeeded greatly on their own merit, but it’s certainly written further through people’s love of them socially. Which would have happened back in the day around a water cooler. And while that’s nice, it’s still not the same as sitting next to everybody and getting scared at the same time or cheering at the same time and laughing at the same time.

I do think though, if we just use anecdotally, Kodachrome as an example, more people probably have seen it because it got on Netflix than they would have in the theater. And the more that happens, the better. So it’s like there is that reach that as long as those streaming sites are still paying to make those little movies, they have the opportunity to be seen. And so it is this balance. I just hope that with that still comes creative autonomy, and we don’t lose sight of that.

What about the experience of making these shows will you take on to your next project and the one after that?

Olsen: Well, I definitely had a shake-up to use my full body as an actor. I had to create a character and voices. And just all the technical stuff that I have loved doing my whole life was just shook up a bit. And so I’m now really excited to do more of that and to feel a bit freer in building characters. And so that has really informed the next thing I’m working on now and preparing for. It’s just kind of put me back in my actory body in a really good way.

And hosting SNL.

Olsen: Of course, now I’ll host SNL because stage fright has nothing to do with that. I can do a monologue in front of people and make them laugh.

Sudeikis: Not a prerequisite. Having worked there for 10 years, not a prerequisite. Well, the tacky answer is it’d be tough not being the boss again. And I’m fucking flabbergasted that people have picked up so much what we set down for them. You know what I mean? From colleagues on the writing and acting side to just regular folks back home, people I’ve never even met. It’s thrilling. I have to try to make sense of that for myself. And I think a lot of it has to do with it being something so personal. And so that might be the thing to lean into.

Olsen: It’s interesting you say that because immediately three days after wrapping, I had to go into a film where we’re not in WandaVision land, obviously. I mean, they kind of are a muscle, these Marvel movies. Instead of going back to that routine of it, I tried to do what you’re saying. I was like, “okay, so what can I play with that I haven’t gotten to that’ll at least satisfy something inside me that I want to play with right now?”

Sudeikis: I don’t know when I’ll get to do that again, when I’ll do that next. Because yeah, it’s Lasso—

Olsen: Lasso forever.

Sudeikis: At least for a little bit longer.

Olsen: Is it what you said, three seasons and then a special?

Sudeikis: I mean, the special would have been the third season with the initial thing. Now you sound like you’re my agent or manager.

Olsen: Oh good, that’s what I came here for. That’s what I wanted to do.

Sudeikis: Who sent you? I know the end of this story. I mean, the fact that we have a third season could fucking blow it all and ruin what would people like so much of the first season. We might be in the middle of doing it now in the second season. I don’t know. We’re just doing it the same way we did it last time. So we’ll see. But yeah, that’s a big old, long winded question mark.

Olsen: Or an ellipsis.

Press: Streaming, With Only a Little Trepidation was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

[stomp-that-ho-regard]

Needed to get this campaign wrap-up rant off my chest...

This is the specific part that irked me:

MATT: "While he never voiced this in game, Caleb's feelings for Jester have been an important part of his journey. Did he ever come close to confessing? How was playing such a long lasting, one-sided love after our last campaign's bittersweet ending for a Vax and Kiki?"

LIAM: I was never going to do romance of any kind, one-sided or otherwise in this campaign, because I felt like we really explored that pretty heavily campaign one. I think you'll remember Jester drove Caleb nuts at the beginning of the campaign, and so it was nothing that I ever expected at all. And then when they were in, was it Rexxentrum wherever the dance hall was. And I alluded to this earlier, dancing was never anything that I imagined for Caleb, but it was just like, and you were asking him to dance, Jester was asking him to dance. I was like, "Oh, this could be an interesting way to like sort of seed my story, that we're not really around yet." And there was something about, not the dancing, but the way that Jester treated him kindly after the fact like his response was to be like, "I'm going to go fucking vomit in a street, and just be by myself," and she wouldn't let it happen. And that was just like this first little moment where someone was like-- Everyone in the Nein-- I want to answer another question while I'm answering this. I wonder if we had gone that different direction that we talked about earlier where we didn't go crime, and we had gone into Rexxentrum earlier, and if Caleb had started interfacing with his past earlier, I think he would have had a gnarlier, more severe trajectory in this campaign. If he had touched his past sooner, it would have changed what he was, but he spent way too much with the Nein, for when we finally did catch up to them, it was too late, that he'd already been healed enough by the Nein, it didn't matter. And everyone in the Nein had an effect on Caleb, they all had their love like in different ways; Yasha, he could relate to. Caduceus was like a guru that confused but inspired. Fjord, who Caleb thought was real hot at the beginning of the campaign, was a great leader and, like, just I don't know, I feel like he was his closest friend, outside of Nott, early in the campaign. Beau brought tough love. Veth was this ultimate support no matter what happened. But what started to happen with Jester was that she was treating Caleb like the person-- She was treating him as if he was the person he should have been. Like none of it had happened. And he became like-- It just got in him, but he would have never wanted to saddle her with all his shit. And the difference, like-- There was also a point in the campaign where I could see, in Yasha's absence, Beauregard warming up to her, and I already quietly been thinking and going like, "Well, I'll just have this little thing that maybe fans will see," and some did early on, like it was silent. It was all silent. And then I was like, "Well, Travis is never going to do it." Oh, Travis just came online, so the entire side of the table quietly like, "Oh," at Jester for a while. But Caleb knew that Beau and Fjord would've been far better for her, because they would have put aside anything for Jester and made her their number one. And Caleb knew that, as much as she like changed him and helped him in a very specific way, and and he quietly fell in love with her and like a Jane Austen, I'm never going to say it. That he would never have set aside the things that he was trying to do. He would never have set aside trying to either get back to his parents and fix that. He would never set aside trying to undo the Cerberus Assembly if he were strong enough, so, like, that was too all-consuming, and so he would never wanted to saddle her with it, so it was always going to stay inside. And there were multiple times in the campaign where Jester teasingly needled Caleb, and I was terrified that you would say the word "Insight check," multiple times.

LAURA: I think I did it once.

LIAM: Well, you must have rolled really low when you did because I did my best to like pull faces at you, and poo poo it, and do something silly to dodge out of those situations.

LAURA: Are you secretly in love with me?

LIAM: And yeah, you said that, and I went like (blows raspberries) that's fucking ridiculous with my face, and we moved on. (laughter)

LAURA: It's so funny when you joke about the whole table being in love with Jester because Jester had, like, no concept of it at all. Her whole upbringing was everybody being in love with her mother, and her whole, and she knew she's so different from Marion, in her appearance, and the way she presents herself that-- To her, that is what people want, that's what everybody would be in love with. And so there was never-- She would never have thought in a million years that Beau would have been interested, or that Caleb would have been interested, or that Fjord would have been interested. She tried to be Marion and when she was coming on to him in the early campaign, and obviously, it did not work. So she was like, "Okay, then-- Nobody's-- That's not going to happen for me." So it just like turned off in her brain, like nobody will.

TRAVIS: There was a moment where that stopped, too, because like you doing the thing that you thought your mom did and that worked, you know, Fjord's like, "I've never been flirted with before, I don't know what this is. Stop doing it." All that behavior stopped, and you like let the happy Jester fall away. Like, I think it was on the sea, right, like with the jellyfish scene. And then it all happened.

MARISHA: That's when you started crying. There was a few times where there was these moments of Jester smiling, but tears were streaming down her face.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Trying to be the happiest person in the room. And then, yeah. I don't know. Jester always had this, but I think why Jester is so enigmatic, and so easy fall in love with is because she is the purest person in the room, so that it invites this kind of--

LIAM: Which doesn't even mean innocent, it just means the purest person--

MARISHA: Pure, yeah. It's just very endearing and it got in the way-- and this is almost going to sound condescending-- but almost in the way that a child is where if a little girl runs up to you, and they're like, "Look at this card, I think I want to cover the whole thing in glitter." You kind of have no choice, but to be like, "Yeah, that's a great idea."

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Cover the whole thing, and like, even if it's bad. She felt like almost like the perfect exercise for "Yes, and-ing." Like, the concept of "Yes, and-ing," because half of them were terrible ideas, but you were like, "Yeah, brilliant."

LAURA: Also, I feel that people are drawn to somebody who sees the best in them, right? You're drawn to somebody that loves you, and she just has an unconditional love for like everybody--

LIAM: She changes everyone she meets, including a hag in a hut.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yes.

Laura’s answer here is, for the most part, true. Jester was always pretty oblivious to people being into her. That was a pretty clear character trait. However, that still doesn't explain her roleplaying choices after Beau’s confession. And I wish someone was able to ask her about that and get a direct answer. Why was there a behavior shift? Was it just Laura trolling and teasing Marisha about it, or was Laura actually trying to force Beau to confess directly?

There was a pretty condescending post about this that I found in the discourse tag that said: I know it won't happen cause people never cared about what she says anyway, but Laura confirming again that Jester never knew about Caleb and Beau's feelings for her should be enough to stop the dumb takes like "bj was happening before the hiatus but then they decided to change it" or "Jester was falling in love with Caleb and she changed it" or whatever.

‘Laura confirming again’ Again? What other time has she said this?

‘Jester never knew about Caleb and Beau’s feelings’ Laura said that ‘She would never have thought in a million years that they would be interested’ and included Fjord in that section too, so whatever point this person’s trying to make is moot.

Countering that, I want to say, that nothing in Laura’s answer seemed to give the impression that Jester would have turned down Beau (or, hate to say it, even Caleb) had they actually confessed to her. There’s nothing in her answer to imply that Jester could not have reciprocated those feelings had she known. Nowhere did I get the implication that Jester was only ever interested in men and that Fjord was the only viable choice. (Laura still has not addressed Jester’s sexuality. FJ shippers love to ignore that, and still swear up and down that she’s straight.)

Now when Marisha piped in, she didn’t even focus on Beau’s feelings, and the depth of what she was feeling at the time. Instead, she’s wrote them off. Again. Intentionally minimizing and essentially doubling down on what was said in ep108. That it’s just so easy for anyone to fall for Jester, even going as far as calling her ‘pure’. Basically infantilizing her, by comparing her behavior to that of a child which yes, Marisha, does sound condescending. (You can add that to the list of ‘sparkles’ ‘confetti’ and ‘shiny’.) And that’s it. That’s the extent to which she talks about it.

Also, the fact that the Beaujester stuff was only brought up (very briefly and casually), as a sort of ‘b’ topic to WJ. Liam got to go off on this whole extremely long-winded reminiscing answer because he got a direct question about it. It’s like, “And none for Beaujester!” Once again, Caleb’s feelings being given more weight than Beau’s ever were. 

So, another kick in the teeth. Not so much from Laura. But from Marisha. The person who MADE THE CHOICE to inject Beau developing feelings for Jester into the canon narrative. The way Marisha talks about it now, it’s just a complete mind fuck as to why she made the decision to have Beau confess at all. Why even open that door? Even if she felt, at the time, that Beau would feel this way, she could’ve just kept it to herself. And not made waves about it. And not doubled down on it the following week. And not had continued for at least THREE MONTHS after that to roleplay Beau STILL having obvious feelings for Jester. I mean, come the fuck on.

Look at ep93 with the Hag. When Jester was telling the group that she gave the Hag something she had never given anyone before. Beau frowned and said, “Did you kiss her?” Beau had it so bad she got jealous of the Hag. Jealous of a fucking monster. Then ep94. Beau wanted to climb a tree to get a better look at their surroundings. Out of the blue, Jester smacked Beau’s ass to give her Guidance. She shot up the tree like a rocket and Jester was impressed. Marisha had to make it a point to say, “She thinks it’s the Traveler. It’s just ‘cause Jester smacked my ass though. I’m just very invigorated by THAT.” And of course ep99, with the sunburn compliment.

Marisha was definitely keeping this thing going, all the way up until the hiatus.

So why the weird answers? Why the vagueness? Why does she seem so insistent on driving home to the viewers that Beau’s feelings were/are no big deal. Does she think that talking about Beau’s feelings to the fullest and reminiscing (like Liam did) on a few of their moments would be some sort of insult to BY?

I will never stop being baffled.

[hiddles-evans-hallucinations]

How Did We Get Here? - 4

Summary: After being in a secret relationship, (Y/N) and Chris are faced with sneaky fans taking pictures of them spending time together and the press went crazy. Chris had enough of hiding. 

Pairing: Chris Evans x Famous Reader

Genre: Fluff, smut

Warnings: AGE GAP and seeeexxxyyy timeeeee. 

Note: I am so excited to write, writing has been my passion for so long and writing with my boo bear in it makes me more happy!! Thanks to the beautiful @joannaliceevans-fanficblog​ for reblogging and helping others to check my writings!!! love her already. Hope you like this one hehehe. Oh and a lil comedy :p just for fun 

*gifs are not mine* 

PART 5

After so many interviews before the Premiere in Chicago, me and Chris has been staying at the same hotel, we were informed that some fans asked the receptionist if we stay together in the same room or separate rooms, but the hotel know what answers to give. 

Before I was known, I already loved my life, I’m a normal girl, I enjoy life fully and I never ask for anything in return when doing things for others. I’m thankful in where I am, but I have always been known as a private person and even my family couldn’t get anything out of me. 

‘(Y/N/L/N) and Chris Evans having breakfast together at the Ritz Carlton’ 

I scroll down to the comments on Instagram, smiling of how red my cheeks are looking at Chris who talks about taking me to his date with Dodger. 

- ‘the fact that she’s bareface and her cheeks is all red looking at him kills me. They are so cute’ 

- ‘OMGGGG LOOK AT HOW HE’S SMILING AND SHE’S ALSO SMILING BACK AT HIM IM DEADD!’ 

- ‘I can’t believe they’re hiding all of they’re cuteness.’ 

- ‘she got taste, i love her, she’s one of us now.’ 

I laughed as Pammy surprised me by looking at what I’m reading behind my shoulder, startling me. “Oh my god,” I said, placing my hand over my chest, 

“Oh, so you’re creeping on Instagram for your so secret relationship?” 

“Stop it, I’m just, you know, trying to- actually I don’t know, it just came up on my explore so, don’t judge me.” 

“Judge you for what?” 

Chris came out of the room, looking rough, his hair is uh... everywhere, messy, shirtless. Pammy’s jaw dropped open, “Oh...” I lightly elbow her, shooting her a look. She put her hands up, “Chris, I got you spinach-apple smoothie.” Pammy hands him as he scratches the back of his head. 

“Thanks,” 

Chris looks at me, “Are you going somewhere?” my eyes widens at him. 

“We have a press interview today, remember?” 

“Oh... no.”

I laughed as I walk towards him and wrap my arms around him, he lifts me up and kisses me, I peck him over and over with my legs wrapped around him then squish my face with him like a little baby. “Get ready, bebe, we have work to do.” I said to him making him smile. 

“You’re so cute, I might just take you to bed for a bit.” 

I flushed. 

“Stop, I would, but... we don’t really have much time.” 

He smirks. “I can make it quick,” he leans as he said it so only I can hear him, my cheeks heats up more as I can picture myself with my cheeks way too red. 

“I get to you this much huh?”

I roll my eyes. “Oh no, it’s just hot in here all of the sudden.” 

He laughed. 

“Come, on, we gotta gooooo.” I whine. 

“Okay, but come shower with me?” 

“I already have my makeup on.” 

This time he’s the one that rolls his eyes at me. “Then, accompany me.” before I can say anything, Pammy said, “The interviewer’s here, I’m going to help them set everything up.” 

Chris said nothing but, “Perfect! Thank you, Pammy!” he shuts the door with his foot. 

“You’re coming with me, bebe.” 

I bury my face on his shoulders as he carries me to the bathroom. He sits me down on the sink counter as he look deep into my eyes. “You’re so beautiful,” the smile appears immediately as I look away shyly. 

“You’re so easy to love, (Y/N).” 

“Am I really?” 

He nodded as he tucks a hair behind my ear and smile. “Now.. where were we?” 

I arches my brow. “You, shower.” I pointed at the shower with my head. 

“No, that’s not where we left things,” 

“Oh yeah, you might take me to bed but we can’t so you’re gonna shower and we’re going to work-” 

Chris shuts me up by kissing me deeply, passionately that my hands find their way around his neck as he pulls me closer as if we’re not close enough. He moans against my lips and when he was about to went down, I stop him causing him look up to me, confused. 

I jump off the counter, moving him to lean against the counter and pulls his pants down. 

I can hear him take a breathe but I ignore him as I put him in my mouth and suck my cheeks in. “Baby..” 

I smiled, knowing that I’m the one that gets to him this much now. 

I work my tongue around him inside my mouth as he grips the counter and continuously moan. 

I tease him by slowly taking him out and lick every inch of him. I stood up just to kiss him and slowly trail my lips down to continue on sucking him and feeling his body trembles. 

“(Y/N)..” 

I fasten my speed as he grips my shoulder. 

“Baby.. I’m.. Com-” 

The same warmth enters my mouth as he looks down at me, waiting for what I’m gonna do. 

The taste of him slides down to my throat as I stood up looking at him, he’s in shock. 

“What? You’ve never seen a girl do this to you?” I joked as he wipes my mouth and pulls me close to him.

I can see my lipstick are gone but I could care less. “I have, but it’s you, I’m with you, I don’t need to remember if other women have done this to me or for me before. You’re mine, baby.” 

I smiled. 

I find it really sexy that he’s wiping my mouth after and holding me close, I love that about him. 

“Hmm..” I give him a slight kiss as he slaps my butt causing me to look at him with my mouth open jokingly. 

“Okay, shower, now, we need to go.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

I grab my pouch and walk back to the bathroom to do touch ups as he showers behind me. Chris never take his eyes off me, making me blush every now and then. 

For the past few months we’ve been together, I love that at the end of the day we’re normal people, we’re just fortunate enough to live a life like this and we never forget where we came from, maybe that’s why I’d like to keep our relationship on the down low where it’s just us and our closest people.

. . . . 

We walk into the meeting room of the hotel that was set up for the interview, Pammy looked at me with a oh-okay-glowing-what’s-up-now look, I shot her a look with my wide eyes, she respond with okay-I’ll-zip-it look with her hands slightly up in defeat. 

I changed my outfit, I was wearing a black midi casual dress, since it’s looking not so appropriate anymore, I have to iron it again but since I don’t have the time, I put on a black and white stripes long sleeved shirt and a black fitted trousers that stops in my ankle with a flat shoes. 

I redid my hair, curl it a little bit and I was done, I don’t want people to take the note, oh yeah they just did it. 

Professional on both, (Y/N)! I said to myself. 

My inner self seems to laugh at me. 

Both on what? Sexually and in career wise? She said. 

I want to roll my eyes, but Chris’ hand lands on my back as we said hi to everyone. “I thought you’re gonna be late.” the interviewer said to us laughing. 

I huffed. “Oh no, almost though, I just had to eat first.” Chris immediately turns his head to me. 

I added, “I thought you’re already here, seems like we’re soulmates.” I smiled at him, his eyes wide, his mouth slightly open. 

“Well, I hope you enjoyed your meal.” the interviewer smiled at me.

“Thank you, I did, big meal to boost my endorphins just right.” 

We sat down with Seth, the interviewer talking about the movie a little bit but other than that he said he just wants to get to know us, he wants to make the interview a little bit different than others. 

Chris was thrilled when he brings up Disney movies. 

“Okay, I have questions, you two have to say your name or the other person to answer.” 

“Oh.. Okay.” I said. 

Seth asks, “Who is most likely to get a complaint because they laugh too loud?” 

“Chris.” 

“Me” 

Seth gasps, “Really?” I nodded making a face where I scrunch my nose. “I have to go to his trailer cause he was on the phone with Anthony Mackie, he laughed so hard I couldn’t sleep.” 

“So, you’re the one who complained?” 

“Oh yeah, would do it again.” 

They all laughed. 

“Who is most likely to be on a comedy tv show?” 

“Me.” 

“Me.” I look at Chris, raising my brow. “You?” I said, rolling my eyes after. 

“What is he not funny?” Seth laughs as he ask me that. “I mean,” I gesture my palm left to right, giving him the he’s-so-so response. 

Chris added (gif), “She thinks I’m funny, she just thinks she’s funnier.”

“You did admit I am funnier.” 

Seth squints his eyes suspicious. “Did you Chris?” 

“No.” 

I laughed, placing my hand on his shoulder as I bury my face on my arm. 

“Who is most likely to take the job as a stripper?” 

“CHRIS!” 

Chris stood up, arms wide open and tries to give me a lap dance. I squealed in laughter trying to get his butt out of my face. 

He hugs me after as I was still laughing with tears started to build up in my eyes from laughing too hard. “Oh my god.” I said. The whole room was filled with nothing but laughter and cameras clicking from their phones. 

“Gotta love this guy.” I said before Seth ended the interview. 

“Love this gal.” Chris added. 

[thejustmaiden]

Fiction and Real Life Go Hand In Hand

This blog goes out to all those pro-Sessrin fans out there who refuse to acknowledge the very real effects fiction can have on our world and vice versa. I highly encourage other Inuyasha fans who defend/enable these shippers to read this, as well. I assure you, by no means are my intentions here to stir up trouble. Honestly, I just want some good healthy discourse for once if that’s not too much to ask. If you do decide to engage, please be mindful of that and treat others with respect and I will do the same in return. All in all, the goal of this blog is to exercise my right to speak out and be critical about content I believe to have very potentially detrimental repercussions. I ask that you not attack me or insult me simply for stating an opinion. Thank you! 

It’s like the title says, meaning fiction does matter. Where do you think we get ideas for all the stories we tell? Where do we draw inspiration from in the first place?

Real life, that's where! And yes, always with a touch of imagination! Long story short: fiction matters because real life does.

Allow me to elaborate.

Shippers of the Sesshomaru x Rin (Sessrin) pairing say it's not fair of us to throw around serious accusations or use certain deragatory terms that suggest such awful acts like child grooming or pedophilia because of the harmful implications. One of their reasonings being that some people IRL have actually lived through these traumas, so we shouldn't dare to assume they're comparable since one is just fiction and the other is not. But this isn’t about which is worse than the other, because they’re both super problematic. All we’re literally doing is making a link between grooming in real life and grooming in fiction. They mirror each other. Same issue; different mediums. We’re not undermining any one’s past experiences with grooming or the like, nor are we prioritizing fiction to diminish real life abuse. They’re both awful in numerous ways and that’s all we’re trying to say. In fact, if anything we’re attempting to demonstrate just how crucial this correlation is between them. In order to protect past victims and prevent future ones, we must remain vigiliant of the content we consume, and yes, sometimes that means we have to challenge it too. Just because it’s widely-viewed does not make it widely-accepted or well-received. It is paramount that we educate ourselves on how to be more critical of some of the harmful tropes and images that are still way too prevalent in mainstream media. Sexualizing young and pre-pubescent girls is way more normalized than some of us even realize. It’s sad but true that Sessrin is just one of many examples. I know it feels like society has failed us in a lot of ways, but it’s never too late to re-evaluate and re-learn better and more improved ways of viewing and processing information presented to us.

Our mission: Let’s not show our kids that grooming or any other form of abuse are acceptable if they may ever come to experience or encounter it themselves. Be it the real world or on screen. Deal? 

There have been a number of occasions where real life victims do speak up against the Sessrin ship and express how extremely uncomfortable it makes them feel by what it represents. The problem is that it’s becoming more evident now that many of their fans will dismiss anything purely on the basis that we pose a threat to their ship and nothing more. What it comes down to is they have no real leg to stand on and cannot possibly top any of what we have to say so instead they simply disregard it. Our inconvenient truths don't fit into their ideal *cough* OOC *cough* narrative so they just choose to be willfully ignorant. It conflicts with their fantasy, so rather than present a sound argument of their own, they flat-out reject it and offer no plausible back-up behind their reasoning besides "I don't interpret it that way." GUYS, CHILD GROOMING IS NOT UP FOR INTERPRETATION.

Just because you so desperately want your ship to come true does not mean you can up and decide to redefine a word so that it caters to your stance. Remind yourself that these are complex AND objective terms that we have no right to fiddle with to serve our own selfish purposes. This is why we can conclude that there's no debate about Sesshomaru's actions towards Rin embodying child grooming.

I apologize if any of my words are triggering by the way, so please feel free to take a break and return later if that’s more suitable for you. it's just really important that everyone in this fandom comprehends the extent in which Sessrin going canon is catastrophic. And no, I'm not exaggerating; I'm simply speaking the truth. Shippers justifying these horrible acts- yes, even in fiction- is usually due to the stubborn refusal to hear us out. No offense to anyone (just stating facts), but more times than not antis like myself feel as if we’re talking to a brick wall when we interact with Sessrin peeps. They go in circles and never expand on their perspectives. 

Just a head’s up: THIS GETS LONG. Stick with me. :p

Just look at their take on the Inukag vs. Sessrin relationships for example. This isn't a question of age gaps, this is a question of physical/emotional compatibility. Inukag are the same age mentally wise regardless of one being demon and the other not, whereas Sessrin is not and never will be, and yes, even once she's an adult. The thing is we have debunked this time and time again, because they’re not the same and therefore not comparable, but for some reason these fans won’t drop it. Nothing has changed in their argument, yet they’re persistent in bringing it up. I choose to not go into more detail, since like I said, you can find it around everywhere. I just wanted to touch upon it briefly to prove a point. Maybe it will come up again later in my blog though! 

Where was I earlier? Right, child grooming! Haven't you guys realized that what you’re doing is precisely what child groomers do to make excuses or deny any grooming took place at all? (FYI: I’m not accusing you of being child groomers yourselves.) “They reciprocated so the feelings are mutual" is a typical groomer response, but of course it varies. More often than not, victims of grooming aren't even aware they've been groomed until much later. That's how manipulative groomers are that they can legitmately convince you that maybe you're wrong in questioning their motives. Perhaps in the victim’s mind that because one huge indicator of grooming never actually took place it technically cannot constitute as grooming. They start to doubt themselves even though their intuition is telling them something’s off. They should just ignore it then since it can’t possibly be grooming if that one particular thing never happened, right? Wrong, grooming isn’t strictly this or strictly that. It's much more complicated and multi-faceted. This is why the “but Sesshomaru left Rin in the village” point upsets me greatly. HE WAS STILL INVOLVED IN HER LIFE, Y’ALL.  

On top of that, are you aware that this is the exact same kind of predatory mindset pedophiles use to describe their infatuation with children? They'll say things like, "I don't see them as an adult and a child. I see them as two people with a soul connection." Okay no joke, I wish I was lying, but that is literally a point one pro-sessrin fan on here recently used to defend this ship. It both astounds me and terrifies me that they don't see the glaring similarities they share in common with actual pedos.

Alright, I want to quickly return to what I was saying earlier about fiction's impact on real life. (Sorry, I’m a bit of a scatterbrain!)

The characters and their worlds in our stories that we dream up and bring to life are nothing short of awe-inspiring and magnificent if we so choose them to be. If it wasn't for our imaginations, stories like Inuyasha would have never come to exist. Fiction provides us an amazing outlet where we are given the opportunity to express ourselves and explore its infinite creative possibilities.

But strip away all the demons and magical components of this show we all love so dearly and what are we left with?

At the very core, Inuyasha is a story that's very reminiscent of the human experience: love, camaraderie, a sense of purpose, and much more!

So perhaps we got a full-fledged dog demon like Sesshomaru, but does that necessarily mean we can't relate to him or understand him simply because dog demons don't exist in the real world? Well, I hope that's not how you view it or else you're missing the whole point of why humans create stories to begin with. We create them to make better sense of and thus connect with the world we live in. And when you really think about it, our stories are just a celebration of life- both our struggles and our triumphs. Now I'm no philosophy professor, but I'm pretty sure they'd say I hit that nail right smack on the head. ;)

All shitty jokes aside, the whole reason I’m mentioning this specific example in the first place is because this recently came up with another Sessrin supporter. That supporter tried to defend the ship by stating that we aren't allowed to use Sesshomaru as an example to judge by since his kind don't exist in the real world.

Now if it isn't evident already, this "it's just fiction" argument is a popular go-to stance many Sessrin fans will resort to once they've run out of ideas and are metaphorically backed into a corner. The funny/sad thing is that they seem to sincerely believe this is strong enough evidence to defend their ship with, but per usual, they fail to see how hypocritical that would be. I’ll clarify soon down below. 

Seriously, since when did we decide that fantasy- or any story genre for that matter- stopped reflecting the real world we live in? I mean, we humans are the ones writing these stories. Our human influence is bound to make an impact in some capacity. In fact, we want it to!

Obviously none of us have ever met a dog demon like Sesshomaru, because how could we? Let me tell ya, this is gaslighting at its finest! This is a fictional story with fantasy elements, so of course there will be beings and creatures in their world that don't exist in our own. Does that somehow translate to the fact that nothing from the story of Inuyasha can be applied to our own personal stories or that there aren't meaningful messages to be taught and learned?

So on the flipside, if they're not screaming at us "it's just fiction" for the hundred billionth time, then they are, believe it or not, doing the reverse and comparing it to real world history. One instance of this is how they tell us we're making a big deal about something that isn't real, but go right ahead and use the history of feudal Japan to support Sesshomaru's decision to court (aka GROOM) a young girl because that's how it was done back then. And so, your point being?? It wasn't right then just because it was legal, and it's most certainly not right now. This is how all of their arguments go by the way, where you'll constantly witness a cherry-picking approach. It's agonizing to endure contradiction after contradiction in their arguments filled with nothing but holes in their logic.

I'd just like to add that if we're overreacting to this fictional ship like they love to say we are then technically so are they. They tell us things like "grow up" or "nobody is telling you to keep watching," yet fail to realize they're reacting just as fervently as we are but just on the opposing side of the same damn argument. I find it interesting how they're as invested in this show but pretend they aren't then STILL have the audacity to say it's only us who care this much!? So thank you Sessrin shippers for further proving our point that fiction is more than capable of affecting reality and the people- YES, US- who reside in it.

It's insane that people act like pedophiles and other creeps don't enjoy entertainment too like the rest of us. Believe it or not, they look just like you and me most of the time. Yes, that means they can easily pass as a “regular guy” if they so wished to. My question to you is how do you think pedophiles will take it when they discover others- underage fans more specifically- who dig the same kinda media they get off to? Maybe not in the exact same way, mind you, but there's a thin line between them when you really think about it. I mean, what other explanation is there for why literal pedos on the internet have been known to sneak into pro-sessrin group chats here on Tumblr before? (Thankfully, they were later kicked.) I know that for a fact! It's almost as if the universe is trying to tell them something they refuse to listen to elsewhere. Hhmmm I wonder what that may be. 

I imagine it’s possibly one of the hardest things to admit out loud and to themselves, but I can almost guarantee you that most of these Sessrin shippers who are victims of CSA and who still see no issue with Sessrin must be living with some sort of unresolved trauma caused by the very abuse they claimed to have undergone. It's been proven that victims who do not seek or properly receive the help and treatment they need in order to address and live with a traumatic experience such as this are more likely to perpetuate that very same abuse themselves in some way, shape or form. What if in this case fiction is enough for them, but who's to say it won’t eventually manifest itself in other more dire and far-reaching ways? It's not like we haven't seen this vicious cycle before, and I can promise you that Sessrin won't be the last. LET'S STOP NORMALIZING & GLORIFYING THE ROMANTIZATION & SEXUALIZATION OF CHILDREN. Fictional example: Usagi Drop. Need I say more? Real world example: Woody Allen. Again, need I say more?

Bottom line is that Sessrin shippers don't want us to think too critically about this ship of theirs, because if we dig too deep then they're forced to face the very troubling implications this pairing really stands for. Of course they'll never admit to them, because instead they rather double down and grasp at the same old straws as long as it means their precious ship is protected at all costs. Screw everyone else if that's what it takes, because they'll threaten to burn down legit buildings in real life if that ensures Sessrin goes canon! (True story, this happened on Twitter.) They’ll taunt and bully anyone who disagrees. Even if all you literally say is that you don’t like the ship, they’ll gang up on you. Tell them about your past experience with being groomed? They’ll laugh in your face. I wish I was kidding, but I assure you I am not.  And they say we're ridiculous and taking this way too seriously? Yeah...

The typical behavior of a Sessrin shipper demonstrates an overly aggressive front since they're usually on defense mode anyway. They only want to ship their sick ship in peace in other words. But just because neo-nazis have a right to spew their bigoted ideology, doesn't mean we don't got the right to punch them! Freedom of speech doesn't equate to freedom from consequences. And Sessrin shippers wonder why they got so many haters. Just sayin'.

Their presence on other platforms like Twitter and Reddit are some examples of how delusional and unstable some Sessrin fans are capable of becoming. Even recently, an anon here on Tumblr sent Richard Ian Cox (English VA for Inuyasha) a totally uncalled for ask telling him that "sessrin is love and there's nothing he can do about it." (That's not verbatim, but if you're interested I'll link you to it.) It appears they discovered that he didn't like Sessrin based on how he had been replying to asks, and just for that reason alone they thought they had the right to harass him. For simply stating his opinion, y'all. They didn't even have the decency to show their face either. Talk about immature and cowardly! 

Just yesterday (or was it the day before?) a fanatic Sessrin user on Tumblr- who’s also been known for hateful remarks on Twitter but those tweets have of course been deleted since then- went out of their way to not only lurk in a group chat they don’t belong to on here but to then proceed to harass a few of us in there. They had the guts to take screenshots from that group chat, tag us in posts on their page regarding what they read in there, and without our knowledge or permission went ahead and actually blogged them?? I mean, who calls out people behind their backs while they're just minding their own business?? It worries me how unhinged and out of touch with reality some Sessriners are. Not all of them, but a whole lot of them. 

It seems all they are doing is looking for trouble, as they just can't stand how much we hate this ship. So it's more than okay if they love on their ship but it's not okay if we don't and we should just keep our mouths shut. But since when do Sessrin fans have authority over our opinions? Even if they were officially canon, nothing is ever gonna change our opinion. Now when they actually do decide to participate in discourse with antis, you'll see them fishing for excuses to bow out. How they normally go about this is by fabricating a way to blame us antis for their exiting a conversation as if we're being the irrational ones here.

There’s no denying that some antis can also be overly blunt or aggressive (nobody is saying we’re perfect here), but speaking for myself, I know I would never make such nasty comments about other fans and their personal lives. And honestly? It would make me feel like shit talking bad about someone I don't actually know. Nah, I won't stoop to that level or give haters that satisfaction. I may not attack them as people, but that doesn't mean I can't attack some of their messed up ideas that threaten to distort how we should or shouldn’t perceive certain dangerous situations and events. Seeing as how for me this is more than just a matter of opinion- it's a moral responsibility and even an obligation.

I know it's difficult to remain civil when things get heated and people start taking things personally- yet more proof that fiction impacts our lives- but that's the only way any of us will ever have constructive discussions about serious topics like this. Unfortunately, Sessrin shippers, from what I can tell, are incapable of engaging in real discourse for the most part. They may be vocal but that doesn't mean they can pack a punch. I’d really love to be proven wrong someday.

Okay, moving on! If they're not involved in some big-time gaslighting then they're using their infamous strawman argument approach.

Sessrin fans’ sole purpose isn't really to defend their ship, per se, but rather to deflect and antagonize. They like to mislead in order to shift the focus/blame onto their opponent or something else that's not related so that they can stray from the main point. 

Take the drama CD for example. It's officially NOT considered canon, right? But that hasn't stopped many fans from referencing it anyway so let’s too consider it for a moment. The point is that they use its "existence" whenever convenient then deny it or downplay it whenever it’s not. So on one hand, it's plain as day that they celebrate it as proof of a romantic future for Sessrin. But then later once we point out to them that Sesshomaru is essentially confessing to Rin that he will wait for her until she's of age, they'll brush it off and quickly add that they didn't interpret the scene that way and leave it at that. I mean how else would you interpret it? And if it's not a proposal of sorts then why exactly are you bouncing off the walls about it to begin with?? If that's all it means is nothing then why are we even talking about this?! You see what I mean here??! And somehow we're the crazy ones? 

Let me to be frank with you. If you haven’t listened to it already, this proposal he offered her sounded like a declaration of love in a multitude of ways, which is wildly inappropriate since Rin was only 12 at the time. Signifying that Sesshomaru was/is indeed grooming her. Well, that is if you choose to recognize the drama CD. Nevertheless, whether you do or not, I personally hate that this non-canon satire is even associated with the Inuyasha name to begin with. Ugh. 

Intentional or not, Sesshomaru made a deliberate decision in that moment to tell a little girl- and not just any little girl mind you but a girl he's taken in under his care for a good year- that he would wait for her if she so chooses once she's old enough. 

The issue is that it isn’t only age of consent we’re concerned about regarding this pairing. What Sessriners fail to see is that this grown male authority- her vassal, her guardian, her adoptive father, or whatever you wanna refer to him as- is basically making a move on this girl he had in his company for quite some time. There's no sugarcoating that. Us antis call it how it is, and I'm sure as fucking day other people who don't watch the show would most certainly agree that the Sesshomaru/Rin bond is filial. Set aside those rose-tinted glasses of yours, and going by everything we’ve been delivered in the manga and parts of the anime (and NOT the drama cd), there are literally no hints that indicate a blossoming romance between this adult male demon and this small human girl he’s taken under his wing. You can imagine them all you want if it pleases you, but that doesn’t mean they’re there. Adult!Rin is a figment of your imagination, nothing more. The idolization of this pairing is pretty disturbing seeing as all we have to go off of in canon is Child!Rin. There have only ever been sweet and innocent moments passed between the two, which is why I’m positive that an unbiased viewer or an outsider would state their dynamic resembled something akin to a father-daugther relationship. I would bet a shit ton of money on that, believe you me!

Rin's inhibitions are low because children are naturally naive and don't know any better. Remember, she adores and trust this man with all her heart, so why would she think any of this so-called grooming is not normal behavior. (I only say “so-called grooming” because I don’t think Sesshomaru bringing her gifts in the village has to be a romantic thing.) Or how would she ever be able to understand that she’s being taken advantage of if she has no previous experience with it? Maybe if she was present for that time Inuyasha and the gang scolded Miroku when they had learned that years previous he had supposedly proposed to this young girl in the village they were visiting, then Rin would. And he didn’t even assist in helping raise her but look at how they reacted! How is this any different than Sesshomaru hooking up with Rin later? It’s actually worse in Sessrin's case. Do you honestly believe that Inuyasha and the others would take kindly to this?

It's not uncommon and considered harmless for young children to have crushes on adults, after all, but the adults in these scenarios should never resort to using and abusing the position of power they held or continue to hold over this child for any reason whatsoever.

What I'm trying to get across here is that no matter how you spin it, Sessrin can NEVER be deemed a morally acceptable pairing. Like ship what you want, we're not saying you can't ship Sessrin. What we're saying is this:

STOP referring to their bond as "pure" and not expect backlash for your grossly inaccurate statements. Just admit it's toxic, because it's extremely harmful to many viewers- and not just victims- to pretend and suggest otherwise.

Please remind yourself of the very real canon fact that Rin traveled with Sesshomaru and they established a bond all while she was just a girl. Oh, and he saved her life too many times to count, not to mention brought her back from the dead TWICE. This is why I don't care much for your counter argument "that dynamics can change over time," because although that's true, like with everything in life there must be standards we adhere to. Exceptions to rules, if you will. Our own basic morals demand it.

For instance, it’s normal that some childhood friends begin to like each other as more than friends years down the road. Nothing wrong with that, because that's a natural and healthy occurrence. Now you cannot apply this to an adult and a child for obvious reasons, but what you also cannot do is apply this to an adult who met and knew another adult while they were still just a child. Why? Well, because it'd be like betraying and perverting that former child's view of you. They were never your equal because your established dynamic resembles that of one an adult posesses with a child even once they've grown up. Think about it this way: it's in the same bracket of family members or family friends who've watched you grow up and mature into an adult. Then later just because they're all grown up, does that mean that those children "are not off bounds" - that's quoting a Sessrin shipper by the way- to these certain family members and family friends? 

If you're still struggling to grasp this, I urge you to take a moment (or all the time you need!) to really put yourself in that child's shoes and self-reflect. Would you truly be alright with a family friend you haven't seen in years (but sorely missed because they used to occasionally babysit you) just someday coming back into your life and then very inappropriately flirting with you or even making sexual advances on you? (Sorry for the run-on!) Or even worse, can you picture this happening to one of your own children??! Seriously, ask yourself that and sit with that for a while and really take it all in. It’s not fun, I know, but if that’s what it takes to help you finally understand then please try and practice more ways to utilize your self-awareness in the future. It’s for everyone’s benefit, not only yours, I promise! You'll also find it makes it tremendously easier to empathize with others.

I got news for those fans who don’t view Sesshomaru as a father figure to Rin. The title we give him doesn’t hold as much weight as a lot of us are making it out to be. Let’s try to be neutral here and stick to the hard facts, shall we?

*Sesshomaru is an adult male authority whose protection Rin is under*

*It’s safe to assume that Rin has grown attached to him and maybe even looks up to him*

*They care about each other and the other's well-being*

*He has has played a crucial part in her supervision and care for a significant period of time (yes, even if it’s just passing a message along to Jaken)*

Not so random anecdote: In an Inuyasha episode I recently revisited, Sesshomaru had just rescued Rin from Kohaku who had been possessed by Naraku and was ordered to kill Rin. Anyway, at the end of their scene you can hear Jaken ask out loud, “what should we do for dinner, Lord Sesshomaru?” And that’s about the most domestic thing I’ve ever heard come out of his mouth. They’re such a family dammit and nothing will ever change that!! <3

This is precisely why I could never in a million years view those past students of mine in a romantic light. I don't care how many years have passed, it's just not possible for me. Just the idea of pursuing a romantic and/or sexual relationship absolutely repels me.

Speaking as a former teacher, you don't need to be a parental figure who's around all the time in order to have great love and affection for a child. I would've done absolutely anything in my power to protect them even though they weren't my own. Then again, I did consider them my children in a way even if wasn't in a familial sense. Does that make my love for them any less unique? No, it's just different but not inferior. When you stop to think about, it really doesn't take as long as you may think to establish rapport with a person, particularly children. Connecting with a child is almost instant (but of course some are more receptive than others), and once you do make that special connection one can only make with a child, a strong and overwhelming need to guide and protect them kicks in almost automatically. The unconditional love an adult feels for a child is powerful and constant, and nothing should ever change that. As much as some of you really want to believe otherwise, that feeling doesn’t just go away because they turned 18. In your eyes, they’ll always be that kid.

I get it, sometimes when we escape into these fictional worlds of ours, it's difficult not to project our own wishes and desires onto certain characters. I don't blame fans for picturing themselves with Sesshomaru- I know I did haha- but never once did I self-insert myself as Rin. I know she's one of the biggest catalysts for his character growth- if not THE biggest- but how and why does that need to turn romantic? There are other antis who I have spoken with on this. They informed me that they used to live vicariously through Rin and ship them together, as well. As they got older, they later learned how weird and twisted this ship actually was. That's what's supposed to happen, y'all, you're supposed to grow out of that fixation. 

Now take your mind out of the Inuyasha universe for a second and hypothetically (or not hypothetically if you have kids) answer me this: if and/or when you ever have a child, would you genuinely be comfortable with the idea of them dating and eventually marrying their father’s best friend who was also there to witness them grow up? Be honest please. 

I highly doubt you would want that- or at least I hope not. You see, that's another MAJOR point I've made a few times already and yet you Sessrin shippers continue to avoid the question. It's pretty obvious it hasn't been rhetorical either. Ignorance is bliss?

Finally, I’d like to address one more point. It seems there is a HUGE misconception and I'd like to clear it up real quick. That is Sessrin shippers misinterpret one of the issues we have with this ship. They chalk up our complaints of Sessrin being canon (which is a LIE, nothing has been confirmed yet) to us just being salty because that somehow means our ships aren't or won’t be. I assure you, readers, other antis and I will attest that this ain't about dumb shipping wars, this is so much bigger than that!!!

I noticed recently that some Sessrin fans have even begun calling us Karens lolol like if anybody is a Karen it's them! This ain't about some mere difference in taste, this is very likely to have LONG-LASTING NEGATIVE EFFECTS. Sessrin going canon is a very harmful message to send viewers and children/teens especially. So if anything, it’s these shippers who are being the entitled ones here thinking that the fact we don’t support their ship is the worst thing in the world. NO, THE REAL PROBLEM IS CHILD GROOMING. GET OVER YOURSELF.

Out of nowhere, some of them even started assuming all us antis were white, which in their books is also equivalent to Karens or even white supremacists somehow?? Those aren't one in the same, but it's easy to make it appear that way when the US is currently tackling major systems of oppression and racial injustice. Because to them, all antis must be from over here. (Yes, I'm American. But no, I'm not white.) How else can anyone explain not shipping Sessrin, right?! Somehow they have it in their heads that ALL of Japan and surrounding places are super approving of this ship, and that everyone else isn’t because of their upbringing and “Western way of thinking.”  

To give you an idea of what I mean, look back at what I talked about earlier with their incessant mention of Sessrin vs. Inukag. Because THIS is another popular example of how these shippers present their side and then ignore all the facts. Many fans have already proven how fucked up and inaccurate it is to label whole countries and cultures. It’s like they simply think mentioning it makes it count even though we’ve discredited their points over and over. Nah, you got to back it up with good reasons that support your side of the argument. That’s How To Have An Argument: 101. So at the end of the day, all they're actually achieving in doing is making dumb and entirely unrelated accusations based on nothing just to lead to deductions that are equally unfounded. Nothing at all is accomplished but more gaslighting and hurling of insults on their part = a complete waste of time for antis = an excuse for them to peace out early from the conversation & that’s what they wanted all along

We’ve reached the end (finally! sorry for all the rambling!), and I hope those of you who stayed till the end or read enough can take something positive out of this. As many Inuyasha fans are aware, there will be a livestream with the VAs for Sesshomaru and Rin coming out within the next few hours. We don’t have all the details yet, and afterwards we probably still won’t. I’m not just talking about Sessrin here but about the sequel in general. Whatever happens, please just remember to be kind to one another. If you don’t think you’re capable of doing that, then it’s best you vent and fume elsewhere. Easier said than done, I know, but just try. Throughout this blog, I admit there were moments where I got frustrated and took some jabs at Sessrin shippers. Please believe me when I say that I do not and would not ever wish any of you ill will. 

Inuyasha was such a huge part of my childhood, and I’m not gonna lie, I’m anxious as hell that Sunrise will ruin one of the best things I loved about this show. So pardon me if my reactions are too visceral for your liking. haha Also, like the movies and the drama cd, this sequel is not in fact canon. Therefore, for those of you who disagree or who still plan to enjoy this new series, respect the fact that some of us fans will definitely “cancel” it if we feel that’s what we have to do to come to terms with it and move on. Fans have that right, after all. Why should we get on board with something if it’s so uncharacteristic of and unrecognizable from the original source material? If all this is some sort of cash grab of Sunrise’s doing, then count me out. I truly hope that this sequel turn outs being a lot more promising than a lot of us are expecting. I’m begging you, Sunrise, I wanna believe you’re better than this. Please and thank you!   

By the way, if you’re interested, feel free to check out my two other blogs on this same subject. Click here and here. The last two screenshots do not come from something I’ve written myself. If you’d like to read more from where those came from, let me know and I’d be more than happy to send you the links. Okay, bye for now. Peace out and stay safe, everyone! 

[annabethbeafiguresitout]

Rollercoaster!

So the past three weeks of my life have just been this parade of people which is really disorienting after almost a year of no contact outside of my family and one or two friends. But my grandparents got vaccinated and my family is into second doses at this point, so we said fuck it and had both sets over to our house in the span of three weeks. The time with both was stressful and weird, but also really fun at times: either way it was very tiring. But then I had a single day break before I flew to Chicago to hang with some friends from high school. During that one day I had my first meeting with a therapist, which I liked more than I thought I would? Not sure how to go about the rest of my meetings with her, or what to bring up and what to keep quiet. Totally having a bit of that “is this a weird anxiety symptom or are you just making things up to justify having a therapist?” Very odd, not the issue we’re unpacking here tho. My Chicago trip is something I’d been looking forward to, but I didn’t realize how strange it would be to be totally separate from my normal environment with no adults. I was explaining the issue I was having to a friend: in the past year my internal sense of self has really progressed. I’ve spent so much time alone that I’ve thought much more about my sexuality and general life plan. It’s so easy to forget that all of those thoughts and the subsequent growth is not visible, especially to people I haven’t seen in many months. And all of these high school friends know me as high school me, which is very far off from my perception of myself. And being with them pulls me out of that comfortable place where I am in fact out to myself. I was struggling to explain to one friend why I love Casey McQuiston’s book Red, White, and Royal Blue so much. She does an excellent job of exploring Alex’s need to come out to himself before he talks to Nora. The thought process of “ah ha! Queerness?” Is a really important one, something I’ve honestly been doing for years, and this was the first book I really saw it represented in. But the problem is here- I can’t just say that because I have not told my friend I like women! Fun! This friend, whom I love dearly, was the only out queer person of the four of us on this trip. And she loves making jokes about her and her three straight besties, which is already disorienting enough because I no longer think of myself as straight (except for when compulsive heterosexuality brain visits). But then she also makes comments about how we’re constantly dressed as gay friends out to brunch or that I really should have been queer because of X reason but ha ha nope! You’re straight isn’t that funny? It was just a long weekend of that and I came home feeling really cloudy and bad. I logically know it’s so not her fault- how would she know the comments make me feel weird unless I tell her? But either way, ugh. Then another (vaccinated) friend came over tonight and big moment!!! I actually told her I liked girls!! We’re definitely working to just saying “I’m bisexual”, still got some fun shit to work on there, but overall a super sick start. I felt really great about it, even though there’s this nagging idea of “now you can’t take it back.” But every time I really think about it, I always end up with “why would I want to take it back?” So that’s what the kids call progress. Also lol this friend, who has been out for like as long as I can remember definitely did the “sis you’ve never told me about a crush ever and all you watch is children’s cartoons” after we got good and serious. I just love her so much and she’s such a wonderful friend. But I felt the need to get it all out to the world so I can get motivated and feel better tomorrow. It feels good. I’m satisfied with where I got this time and yay!! I kinda actually came out to someone!!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #424

“got no superspeed, but i’m running this town”

What is the first line in the song you are currently listening to/last listened to? "I’m running out of time; I hope that I can save you somehow.” Are you an easy lay? Not in the slightest. What was the last reason you cried? Life and how inexplicably I'm failing at it. What’s hurting you right now? More like what isn't. Do you remember important dates? Only some. I'm awful with numbers. Do you own anything with the Playboy Bunny on it? No. Do you own a bean bag chair? No. Have you ever played Gamecube? At a friend's house. Have you ever played with toy cars before? Yeah, with my nephew. He LOVES monster trucks. Have you ever touched a caterpillar? Oh, definitely. I loved picking them up as a kid. What is your favorite kind of salad? Just plain 'ole iceberg lettuce with ranch, really. Are you any good at Ping-Pong? Holy hell no, I SUCK. What was/is your high school mascot? A firebird. Can you make cute little animals by folding paper? God no, I'm awful at origami. Like, I have zero concept of how to do it. What kind of music do you like? Various types of metal and rock. Do you like apple juice? Yeah. Do you like to draw? It's funny, like I do love it, but I barely ever do it because I get frustrated when I can't get what's in my head onto paper. What do you put on your french fries? Generally ketchup. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed? Two. Do you want to have a big family in the future? I don't want kids, just pets. Probably a lot of pets. Is Vegas one of your must-see places? No. Pet rat: yay or nay? I've had multiple pet rats and I adore them. I've come to find I'm not the best at keeping rodents because changing the bedding so much sucks ass, but nevertheless they are fantastic pets for people who don't mind the maintenance. Would you call yourself a writer? Written any stories lately? Yes. I haven't written in a while, though. I just have absolutely zero motivation to RP. Are you good at reading people's body language? I probably overanalyze it, really. Ever threatened somebody and actually went through with it? I don’t threaten people. Does holding newborn babies scare you? Extremely. I feel like they're made of thin glass. Piercings: yay or nay? I LOVE piercings. They add an interesting touch to your appearance and to me just (usually) look super cool. There are very few piercings I don't like. Do you have a collage of pictures in your bedroom? No, but I want to make a motivation board very badly. Favorite Nicholas Cage movie? Ghost Rider. Were video games better in the 1980s, 1990s, or the 2000s? Why? '80s games bore me honestly, but I love some '90s and many 2000s games. I've got to say ultimately newer games win, because of graphics increasing immersion (no, I do not whatsoever believe graphics are everything or always make a better experience), voice acting improving immensely, etc. Have you ever watched The Beverly Hillbillies? Yes! Mom loves it so I used to watch it a lot with her as a kid. I'd still watch it. Did your mother ever sing lullabies to you when you were younger? Yes. Are you ready to get out of this town? I HATE THIS TOOOWN, IT'S SO WASHED UUU-UP, AND ALL MY FRIENDS DON'T GIVE A FUUU-UUUUUCK god hell yes get me the fuck out. Do you know anybody that is pregnant right now? Quite a few. What are you listening to? "Superluv” by Shane Dawson. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? No. Does your father have any facial hair? Yes. Did your grandparents teach you anything? My maternal grandmother, the only one I really ever knew, taught me I'm a disappointment, pretty much. And a bitch. Do you want/have a Bachelor’s degree? It'd be nice to have one, but I don't, and I'm not pursuing it again. I've wasted enough of my parents' money. Are you into superheroes? Who’s your favourite? Not seriously, but I enjoy them well enough. I like Spider-Man. What did you have for dinner last night? Mom ordered Mexican. I had two shrimp and cheese quesadillas and rice with cheese. Do you think you look similar to your siblings? No. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? Yeah, it's fun. Do you know your best friend’s middle name? Yes. Are you close to your father? I am. Have you ever had a serious conversation with your dad? Yeah. Would you rather have long or short hair? I enjoy having short hair way more. Who did you go/plan on going with to prom? I went with Jason twice. Have you ever been to a debate and speech tournament? Hell no, and I never would. Arguing makes me cry lmao. Are you someone who enjoys stand-up comedy? Yep. What’s one thing that scares you about living alone and being independent? A lot of things do, but one thing in specific that I fear is that I let the house become cluttered and messy. I'm so shit at cleaning, especially when I'm depressed. It's why my own bedroom isn't even fully decorated, and we've lived here since I wanna say last November. If someone offered you an all-expenses paid trip to one European country, where would you go and why? Germany, 'cuz I enjoy the culture and would love to try some foods and visit places. Have you ever won anything on the lottery? No. Are you interested in the World Cup? I couldn't possibly care less. What’s the longest time you’ve ever been on a plane for? Idk. Do you let your hair dry naturally or do you towel-dry it or blow dry it? I use a towel to dry it some, then let it really get the job done naturally. How many of the Harry Potter books have you read? None. Who last gave you their number? When I posted on Facebook about going on a mental health hiatus, my good friend Alon messaged me her number if I ever needed to talk. I was really thankful. Are you often the last one to understand a joke? Honestly yeah. I'm slow to grasp a lot of things. Your first black eye: Did you give it or get it? Never gotten or given one. Have you ever slept in a tent, indoors or out? Yes to both. Are you mad right now? I'm annoyed, but not mad. Are you allergic to nuts or dairy products? No. Has anyone ever called the cops on you? No. Do you ever actually drink milk alone? Yeah, I love milk. Do you have a sensitive gag reflex? It is EXTREMELY sensitive. What was the last situation to upset you? I'd rather not talk about it. Have you ever had an online argument? I have been heavily active on the Internet since I was like, 11. Maybe younger. I have been in plenty. Are you at risk for any medical issues? A lot of heart problems run in my family. I'm also suspicious I may develop diabetes, which also runs very heavily in my family. What were you doing at 7:00 a.m.? Surprisingly, I was asleep. Do you own a robe? No. What would you consider your life to be? A wreck. What is your favorite mark of punctuation? I like question marks. Who knows your biggest secret? Nobody. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Probably not. How do you know? I just doubt it. I'm so unlikable right now. Could you go a day without eating? I don't think I could. I do not react to stomach pain well, and that includes when I'm hungry. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None. What’s your favorite drink? Strawberry Sunkist, but I don't allow myself to have it. I will DESTROY a can or five of it. Who was the last person that texted you? My mom. What are you craving? Nothing really right now. What was the first thing you ate today? An everything bagel. What was the last type of meat you ate? Pork. Have you taken any medication today? Yeah, I take some prescription meds in the morning and at night. Have you ever been to Hawaii? No, but that'd be cool. Do you know anyone who has diabetes? My mom, for one. Have you ever made a boy cry? Sadly. Who are you talking to? Nobody. Do you think you’ve ruined your chances with someone? Absolutely. Your parents split; would you want to live with your mom or dad? My parents are divorced, and I stayed with Mom. Would you strongly prefer to go out with someone of your own skin color/racial background? I couldn't care less. For you personally, is abortion an option in case of an accidental pregnancy? For others, absolutely. It's your right. For me myself, it's possible, idk. If I was God forbid raped, I probably would have an abortion. If I accidentally got pregnant in a healthy relationship, I'd probably have a "too bad, so sad" outlook where I'd suck it up and go through with the gestation because having sex and risking pregnancy was my own decision. Even if I'm pro-choice, I think I'd feel too guilty aborting, especially with the child being someone's I love. Is it a requirement that you communicate every day with your significant other (via phone, text, in person, whatever)? IF I had an s/o, no. I like to, but sometimes you just want space. Are you fetish-friendly? I'm not gonna lie, some fetishes are just too fucking weird for me. I TRY not to judge, because I doubt you can actually help fetishes, but I inevitably do sometimes. If you're asking would I engage in fetishes because my s/o liked them, possibly, but it would really depend on what it is. Have you ever cosplayed? No. I think cosplay is really cool, though. Do you support the exploration of outer space? If yes, would you consider taking a trip into space, or even to another planet? As creatures who crave knowledge and understanding of our universe, I do support space exploration, but I do NOT believe we should be spending as much money as we do on it. Taking care of the planet we're actually on is far more important imo. I wouldn't personally go to outer space. Is it okay for men to wear makeup? What’s your opinion of male crossdressers? It's totally okay! Guys with makeup can be super attractive. Crossdressers, too. Go for it. You’re in a new relationship and your partner admits that they have had 14 sexual partners. Does that sound like a lot to you? For me personally, yes. I don't even know if I'd date someone with 14 past sexual partners, honestly. I would admittedly question their loyalty. Would you let your children under 13 watch movies with full nudity? No. If someone asked you, “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?” would you know the answer right away? I would. What is your opinion concerning strip clubs? Not my scene at all, but so long as you respect the dancers, whatever. You do you.

[naptoons]

Cravin - Lunay

Warnings: sexual content and mild language

Theme: smut duh

A/N: this was requested by the beautiful @cncogirl18 hope it’s great and I hope you enjoy it!! I did not proofread and its google translated Spanish sorry.

Lunay and i were just chilling at his studio, he was recording some songs he had an idea for and wanted me to tag along. For his excuse he said “mami, you’re a great manager you know? So help me pick out some songs” but my hunch is lunay has something else in stores. Laying on the couch my back against his chest as we’re devouring on pizza. At least I was I haven’t eaten anything since this morning. And the scarlet bold font read “6:45” grabbing my cup of Pepsi I try to drink and watch the movie. Lunay said I had too watch insidious. At first I wasn’t into but now I am and I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen.

Placing the cup down I lay my back on his chest as he wraps one arm around my chest laying his hand on my shoulder. Fifteen minutes have past and I feel his hands traveling down from my shoulder to the center of my breast caressing it through the fabric. I didn’t think anything if it because Lunay is very handsy. Specially in public. He begins to slide his fingertips on my exposed skin sliding the shirt up as he goes, exposing my chest to the air, stealing all the heat from me. I decided not to question it because like I stated he is very handsy. And he wouldn’t do anything while we’re watching a movie.

Let alone in his damn studio.

Lunay slips his hand into my bra, playing with my nipples pinching them in his cold fingers. His teeth nibbling on the outer corners of my earlobe. “Bebe...” I let out quite desperately. “Qué pasa mami?” His smirk spreads upon my flesh, feeling the bubbles of ecstasy in my throat I stay quiet hoping he gets the message. I feel him sliding his hands up my chest to my neck wrapping the cold jewelry around my neck, him in jewelry is what turned me own even more. The fact that it is on my neck now sends pools between my legs. His other hand slipping between the fabric feeling the heat of despair between my thighs. Teasing he rubs circles on the out frame of my thighs close to the spot that needs to be touched.

“Bebe...” I let out again bucking my hips up to his fingers. With one hand in my pants he pushes me down sticking my body to the bed. “Tell me what you want I can’t hear you mami” his voice stings with dominance. “Tell me and I’ll do it” he continues

“I want your fingers inside me” I plead, without any hesitation his fingers are coated in my essences, my lip being pulled in between my teeth. It was just a simple touch but I’m thrown into euphoria. His fingers drawing circles on my bud in a painful but slow motion. My fingers digging into the fabric of his jacket, while his hand is busy wrapped around my neck. “Carajo you’re so beautiful, let me hear those sweet precious moans” adding a third finger he presses against my bud my moans escaping through my pierced lips as my body begins to heat up and squirm. My legs begin to tremble the faster his tempo goes. By now my eyes have rolled to back of my head and my sounds are muffled by the feeling.

“Oh Babygirl you’re coming?” He asks with his lips on my earlobe “yeah come for me princess” he rasps in my ear, my legs start twitching , attempting to close my legs but Lunay holds them open by taking his hand off my throat “give me another one beautiful let me see you come again” Lunay asks quiet teasingly the knot begins to filling up in my stomach again along with strangled moans, my body lifts up off his shoulders digging my nails into the sheets as my knuckles turn white.

“I’m coming I’m coming” the adrenaline in me speaks, just as I’m about to come Lunay pulls his fingers away squeezing my clit in between two of his fingers, i gasp in elate just melting into his arms. Slowly sliding his hands away from my heated area I squirm slowly, Lunay lifts his fingers up to his mouth, raising my head up I watch him taste my juices smiling sheepishly at his face of delight. “ taste good babygirl, I see you’ve been eating right huh?” Lunay pushes me forward a little to get up from the couch. Thinking we were done I lay down on the couch to watch what was left of the movie, Lunay grabs my ankles pulling me towards him I giggle softly as my fingernails caress his hair.

Lunay pulls my pants down staring at the mess he created. “Fuck baby” he groans, his tongue lapping my folds slowly, Lunay throws one of my legs over his shoulder diving in between my legs again. Sucking on my swollen clit I flinch biting my lip again. My hands fumbling through his hair. Trying to focus on the movie I feel a finger insert into my slowly. Causing my back to levitate of the couch. Whimpering in pleasure, Lunay looks up at me as his other hand caresses my boob. Lapping up my juices as the filled the air drowning out the terror screams from the movie to me screaming of pleasure. Replacing his fingers with his tongue he locates my weak spot.

My hands tugging at the roots of his hair, almost squishing him in between my legs. I scream his name and stutter some curse words the faster he goes. Gasping at the sudden touch of his fingers back on my clit acquiring the same tempo as his tongue. “I’m coming baby I’m coming” I choke up him, Lunay looks up at me as he’s devouring me. My legs spasm out of control from the flick of his tongue. Lunay removes himself from my legs his face glistening in my fluids. My eyes look at the print on his pants he slowly pulls his shirt off exposing his tanned body to me. Following the outlines of his carved body with my eyes I didn’t notice he was taking his pants off and ripping a condom.

Lunay pulls me closer, his hands on my waist as he thrusts himself into me slowly, my eyes filling to brim with water. The agony of pain scratching on his forearm. “Hey hey babygirl what’s the matter?” His face furrows up I push him off me “stop stop” I shake in pain. Lunay caresses my back grabbing the covers to wrap my body in, sliding his boxers back on he holds me in his arms. Sighing softly I wrap my arms around myself. “Que pasa princess?” His thumb caresses my arm “did I hurt you? Or did I trigger a bad memory? Who hurt you?”

Getting my composure together I wipe my face, but Lunay cleans it for me with a napkin “my beautiful babygirl, who hurt you, I’ll beat their ass if I got too”

“No nobody hurt me, I hurt myself” I mumble

“Tell me princess, I’m here for you”

Sniffing I find his eyes are already on me “I didn’t tell you, but I’m a virgin baby, so I kinda hurt you know just then” Lunay pulls me in for a passionate kiss his hands caressing my back. The mixture of salt and peaches. I slowly pull away to catch my breath out foreheads connecting like glue. “It’s not your fault you didn’t mean too” I sensed his emotions from his kiss.

“No baby, I am sorry if I would’ve known I wouldn’t have so aggressive, I hurt you” his voice sounding so crisp, like the New York winds in the wintertime

“I wanted it” I answer truthfully and honestly. My hands cupping his face as the covers drop from my bare body. My legs straddling him. Now he was the one with the air caught in his throat. “There is no one else in this world I’d rather have be my first other than you” I mumble

“I don’t know about that you was giving Becky g them flirty eyes mami” Lunay jokes

“She would be my first for girls” I smile, but he doesn’t find he funny smacking my ass hard, making me gasp and moan at the same time. I grab onto his shoulder blades. “You’re so nasty babygirl” he threats me.

“Of course when a man like you is my boyfriend, so why don’t we pick up where we left off” I bite my lip grinding on his clothed member, feeling his muscles twitch with every stroke. “You are walking a thin line babygirl” Lunay’s eyes glow in lust. “I’m glad I am” I smile. Flipping me over he hovers over my fingernails caressing his shoulder blades.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want” he advises me

“And what if I want too?”

“You might wanna recall how easy I made you come, I may not be able to hold back” Lunay smirks

“I want this, so give it to me” I whimper, Lunay tears off a new condom sliding it on himself “you sure you’re ready?”

“Couldn’t be more sure about this” I smile proudly, Lunay dips into my soaked folds, my back raising off the couch, he stops to check on my facial expressions. My eyes knitting in the pain I felt before. But not as bad, because this time it wasn’t forced. “More” I whimper feeling the pain disappear into thin air. My walls engulfing him, the weak groans falling from his lips. “You okay?” He whispers, nodding my head he grabs my hands intertwining then together. As his hips bucks against my pelvis bone, the pain converting to pleasure instantly. Through my hooded eyelashes I gaze upon the man whom I’ve fallen in love with.

You were once a celebrity crush, and now here you are on top of me, my eyelashes hitting my eyelids, gasping at every thrust. Lunay’s hips slam into me picking up his paxe the sound of our bodies sticking together fills the room while his member explores me. Lunay takes his hands and places it around my neck,repeatedly hitting my g-spot as I let out sporadic moans. My walls clench around him as I’m coming to another climax. “Fuck look at you taking this dick” Lunay grunts. My hands wrapping around his wrist. Twitching my legs I scream his name sinking my head further into the pillow.

“Come for me baby that’s right” Lunay groans and growls; “you’re so beautiful baby” Lunay groans in my ear. Letting go on him my body sticks to his chest shaking from his slow steady strokes. “Mmh you’re so beautiful” Lunay nibbles on my neck leaving soft kisses traveling down to my chest. The sound of his lips smacking against my soused skin. My fingertips fiddling with the chains around his neck. Lunay lifts me up flipping then roles .

“You look beautiful as a top and bottom” Lunay whispers painting a thin layer of pink on my face, staring at his jewelry on his neck I fiddle with it, he starts to take them off and place them upon my neck “shit you’re fucking hot”

“Did I discover a new kink?” I smile; Lunay doesn’t say anything but slowly inserts his way inside of me; “ride me babygirl” his voice coming out so soft and smooth; I take on his request as I bounce upon him with my hands flat on his chest; the sound of my ass sticking to his legs, while my legs struggling to be still; Lunay knew he was big, but that didn’t stop him from making me climax four times in one day. Gripping onto his shoulder blades; hearing the groans escape his mouth makes me change the tempo as I rock back and forth on him; his hands firmly on my waist digging into my silky flesh; my toes curling up as they lift off the floor. Lunay’s Gand collides with my ass; his lips sticking to the hollow depth between my collar bones.

The burning sensation making me wrap my arms around his neck while my moans ring in his ears; one of his hands fiddling with my clit matching our speeds in unison. “Fuck baby I’m coming” I cry out; Lunay is a over-stimulator. My fingernails making cat prints on his back with the rasped growls leaving his lips onto my chest. My legs shake in milliseconds as my cream drips down on him. Slowly I slide up and down on him letting him feel how tight my walls are. Lunay thrusts into me as I gasp for air; he takes one thrust at a time smirking at the tremors my body is doing. Lunay raises his hips at me bouncing my whole body against him. Scattered moans try to be known while his hand is on my neck choking me ever so slightly; my eyelashes touching the roof of my eyelids, his thumb pressed on my bud again in a circular motion.

I was so clouded in euphoria I didn’t notice the door opening; frowning I ask quite out of breath “why’d you stop?” A blanket covers the both of us mainly me, my back is towards the door.

“ ¡¿qué te pasa?! “ (what is wrong with you) Lunay yells; my head whips over at the site of his managers; blushing I sink my head into Lunay’s shoulder, softly whining in embarrassment.

“Lunay, se supone que debes grabar hoy, ¿recuerdas?” (lunay, you are supposed to record today remember?) His manager speaks;Lunay rubs my back up and down.

“si bien, así que vete !!!” Lunay leaves; they all hurriedly scatter out of the room; leaving this awkward tension between us. How could I ever see them the same again? Lunay kisses my neck softly making me smile again. “Babygirl you’re so beautiful” Lunay nibbles my earlobe squeezing my boobs with both hands. He drops the blanket off my shoulders onto the ground with out clothes.

“After that and you still want more?” I ask curiously,

“Who said I was done with you?” Lunay smirks. Lunay flips me over on my stomach holding my wrists with one hand behind my back “we’re going to finish what we started” he groans before slamming himself inside of me, repeatedly hitting my gspot. Stunned by his dominance. Pushing himself deep into my walls and pausing there my juices drip down to my knees and painting the couch, repeatedly he does this making my toes curl, I’m completely soaked. Lunay rocks his hips against my ass smacking it occasionally; Lunay was so electrifying. Groggy moans leave my mouth and sinking into the pillow with every thrust. Letting go of my hands he grabs my neck placing my head on his shoulder still pounding me. His lips connect with my ears whispering sweet nothings to me.

“Look how pretty you are taking my dick, yeah take it all” Lunay growls in my ear; the speed of his hips making it harder and harder to be audible. His groans become louder and louder by every thrust. His one to my millions. “Come with me princess come” thrusting one last time inside of me pausing we both come at the same time; finally the bubble in my throat pops letting out a loud whimper gasping for air. Slowly my head falls in the pillow. Lunay kisses down my neck to my back. Feeling drained out I let him. I can barely move my body. His tongue cleaning my up while I flinch at the sudden Ecstasy.

“If that’s your first time, you got me cravin babygirl” Lunay whispers; finally regaining my strength I sit up and kiss him softly. “So what were they bagging you about?” I ask grabbing my discarded clothes trying to stand with my jello legs.

“I was supposed to record a song today; but I couldn’t resist you” his voice making me feel even weaker; god he is literally sweet poison. Putting my shirt on Lunay’s smile blades bigger at me. “What?” I ask confused.

“You just have this glow now, it’s beautiful, feels like the snow poking through after it snows” I smile at his compliment. Lunay grabs me by the waist crashing our lips together; getting a little carried away I bite his lip softly as the groan resonates softly in our mouths. Pulling away I give his swollen lips one last peck. “Keep it up, I’ll give you round two and it won’t be nice”

Lunay went to his mangers to hear whatever they had to say “ I’m here now what’s the song I gotta do?” Lunay asks quiet pissed off they interrupted him, “so we thought you should record a sex song” his manger tells him,

“Okay yeah let’s do it” his cheeky smile. After recording the song it took approximately three hours, because believe it or not Lunay is a perfectionist. Lunay places the headphones down, grabbing his keys. “So how was sex with bre?” One of his managers asks. Debating if he should pop off or play it cool.

“I loved fucking her brains out, did I forget the mention that part I was her first? Sorry seems like you can’t have her now, if you’ll excuse me, my girlfriend is waiting for me”

I went back home to get changed and take a shower Lunay said to meet him at his house, and wear something nice. This boy is full of tricks, never know what he has up his sleeves. I decided to wear a nude long sleeve bodycon dress with a pair of wet heels. My hair was silk back showing off the necklace and earrings Lunay bought me. I don’t like to dress up often but when I do. It’s great. My uber stops in front of my house. Getting in it and driving to Lunay’s house, I knock on the door. Waiting for Lunay to open the door, the weather was quite chilly today.

The man of my dreams finally appears at the door, smiling I peck his lips, “what are you up too?” I ask smiling sheepishly “oh nothing” he replies sarcastically, everyone pops up telling “happy birthday!” Throwing confetti on us both along with strings. My hand covering my mouth at the amount of people in his house.

“For me?” I smile

“All for you babygirl, you thought I’d forget your birthday?” Lunay wraps a arm around my shoulder kissing my forehead, I grab his face pressing a soft kiss upon his lips. “Thank you”

The night consistent drinking and dancing along with opening presents every now and then Lunay stealing me away from boys he deemed to be too touchy with me, I honestly never cared for my birthday that much. I forgot what today’s date was. But Lunay showed me he cares and will continue to care about me and what makes me happy.

After five whole hours it was midnight and Lunay and I were in bed cuddling, both tipsy while watching a tv show. “Hey baby” his voices echos tilting my head up to him I smile. “How about you move in with me?” He asks nonchalantly “you really would like that?” I ask

“Why wouldn’t I? Baby I love you and I can’t stand to be far away from you, I would love to see you in my hoodies around the house, or coming back from a show and you’re wrapped up in my sheets, making breakfast together” Lunay’s êtes glow with admiration. “I want all the husband and wife shit, but I don’t have the ring yet” Lunay laughs off

“So what you say?” Lunay smiles

“Hm, that doesn’t sound to bad” I say seductively, straddling his lap my hands rub his forearm “I’ll say yes if you show me; how you act when you aren’t nice” Lunay wastes no time flipping me over with hunger in his eyes.

We were craving each other; and I don’t think I could ever get tired of you yet.

[juju-on-that-yeet]

Behind Closed Doors

Whumptober Day 22: Do These Tacos Taste Funny To You? Prompt: Drugged

Summary: Eric goes clubbing with the Jims, but doesn't enjoy it as much as they do. When a good-looking woman approaches him to talk, Eric thinks the night might end up fun after all.

It doesn't.

Warnings: Drugging, sexual assault, non-con touching/kissing, attempted rape

Read on AO3 (Full Whumptober 2020 series)

Enjoy...?

~

Eric has never been to a club before, and already doubts he’ll ever go back.

RJ and CJ invited him here. Eric would’ve been worried about the two of them in a setting like this. After all, the twins can hold their liquor as well as Eric can, which is to say not at all. But apparently the upbeat music and frenetic dancing are just their style. Barely an hour into the night and the two are practically covered in glowstick bracelets and flailing like madmen on the dancefloor.

Eric, meanwhile, is sitting at their table, watching the Jims dance and eating pretzels like it’s the thing to do.

He’s too nervous to dance, and besides, the music is way too loud for him. The Jims already tried to get him dancing, but he went back to their table before long, using the excuse that someone should watch their sodas. Eric sighs to himself. He’s a little bored and uncomfortable, if he’s being honest. He doesn’t blame the Jims for not noticing; they have a lot of energy to burn and they’ve been fully swept up in the fast pace of the club. Eric is sure that the three of them will be back home in a couple hours, once the Jims have exhausted themselves. A couple hours of being a little bored is no problem, and Eric has to admit it’s fun to watch the Jims having such a good time. Their dancing is entertaining, too, though Eric feels a little bad for laughing at their moves. They’re nothing he could replicate, that’s for sure.

Out of the corner of his eye, Eric catches someone looking at him. When he turns to see, a pretty, orange-haired woman averts her gaze. Her cheeks are a little pink, and though her face is turned away, she sends Eric a sideways glance, smiling just a little.

Oh geez, she’s flirting with him.

Eric turns bright red and looks away again. Even through the din of the club, he hears a giggle that he’s sure belongs to the woman. When he looks over again, she’s walked up to his table.

“Can I join you?” she asks, still smiling softly, still blushing a little.

“Um, uh, um,” Eric stammers, brain short-circuiting. His face gets redder, were it possible.

“Oh, did you come with friends?” the woman asks, noticing the glasses in front of the other two chairs at the table.

“Uh, y-yeah,” Eric says, “Um, but you can sit, uh, here too, for a bit, I m-mean, if you want–”

“I was kinda hoping you’d say that,” the woman admits, before pulling out RJ’s chair and sitting in it beside Eric. “My name’s Tessa, by the way. What’s yours?”

“E-Eric,” Eric says. He wonders for a moment if he should shake her hand, before immediately revoking that thought.

He doesn’t know why he’s so flustered. It must be because no one’s flirted with him in ages. It probably doesn’t help that Tessa’s even prettier up close, with a vibrant orange bob of hair, winged eyeliner, and dark purple lipstick. The colors clash, but somehow don’t. Eric may still have a serious crush on the Jims, but he’s also powerless against beautiful women. Especially beautiful women who give Eric the time of day.

They talk, but Eric hardly remembers what they talk about from one moment to the next. He’s too busy trying to pay attention to Tessa’s words and not how cute her laugh sounds or how the lights of the club illuminate her hair. He hardly knows what he says to her, but she seems to like it, judging by how much she smiles. Tessa eventually orders a drink from a passing server – something alcoholic that Eric doesn’t catch the name of – and Eric continues sipping his soda. He has to be careful not to spit or snort it out when Tessa tells a funny joke or touches his arm.

After a while, Eric starts to wonder if something’s actually going on with him. He still can’t remember much of his conversation with Tessa, but not even focusing helps. The lights seem brighter, the pounding music pounds straight into his head. He checks his watch, thinking it must be late, but the numbers swim when he tries to read them.

“You doin’ alright, Eric?” Tessa asks with good-natured concern, “Have enough to drink?”

“I didn’t…didn’t drink?” Eric mumbles, trying to meet her eyes. He’s swaying too much, he can’t sit up straight. “I’m gonna…gonna go to th’ bathroom…”

Maybe he just needs to splash some water on his face, and he’ll feel better, more like himself. As he gets up, he almost slips, but Tessa grabs his arm and holds him up.

“Let me at least help you walk there,” Tessa insists, “You look like you’re gonna pass out.”

Tessa starts leading Eric to the restrooms without waiting for his reply. A thought that he should find the Jims floats through Eric’s mind, but it soon floats right back out. He can’t think straight for anything. He doesn’t even notice right away when Tessa helps him into the bathroom instead of waiting outside. He doesn’t notice until Tessa moves him into a stall, closes and locks the door.

“Issn this th’ men’s room?” Eric asks, voice quiet and weak.

“It’s fine,” Tessa says, shutting the lid of the toilet in front of them, “People do this here all the time. No one minds.” She sits Eric on the toilet, and he has no strength to get back up.

“Tessa?” he asks, voice small. Even through the fog in his mind, he can sense that something is deeply wrong. His heart kicks up as Tessa straddles his lap.

“I thought you could use some help to loosen up, is all,” Tessa says, putting her hands on Eric’s shoulders, “You were so nervous you didn’t even notice me putting the powder in your drink!”

“Stop,” Eric gasps, tears pricking his eyes. He should’ve paid more attention, he shouldn’t have let her sit with him –

“Don’t worry,” Tessa says, smiling again, eyes dark with lust, “I’ll make this good for both of us, I promise.”

Eric doesn’t have enough time to speak before Tessa’s dark purple lips are on his.

~~~

When the Jims return to their table to drink their sodas, they’re momentarily surprised that Eric isn’t there.

“Where’d Anxious Jim go?” CJ asks, looking around.

“Probably the bathroom,” RJ shrugs, “His glass is empty.” He blinks. “Hey, there’s a drink here! That’s not AJ’s, is it?”

“He must’ve been talking to someone,” CJ replies. He pauses. “I hope he’s having fun. We haven’t spent much time with him since we got here.”

“Good point, Jim,” RJ replies, thinking for a moment.

They both pick up their glasses to drink, but CJ is first. There wasn’t much left in his glass to begin with, which is why he notices the slightest grainy texture to his soda as he takes a sip. He spits it out across the table, making RJ jump and take his own glass away from his mouth.

“What the heck, CJ!?” RJ asks, “I almost spilled this on myself!”

CJ puts his glass down in a hurry and signs furiously.

“Don’t drink it! Someone put something in it!!”

“What!?” RJ practically drops his glass, as though it would burn him if he held onto it longer. “Who–” He catches sight of the alcoholic drink next to Eric’s empty glass. His heart falls into his stomach. “Oh no, CJ, if our drinks are drugged–”

“–so was AJ’s,” CJ finishes, face paling.

“We have to find him,” RJ says, fearful but resolute. “CJ, did you bring your whistle?”

CJ nods, pulling out a lanyard with a whistle on the end from his pocket and putting it around his neck. It’s a safety measure he takes with him whenever he and RJ go reporting or exploring. If anything happens to CJ or he gets separated from RJ, he can blow the whistle and get RJ’s attention. If he finds Eric, he can quickly lead RJ to him.

“Alright,” RJ says, “I’ll go that way–” He points. “–and you go that way.” He points in the opposite direction.

CJ nods.

They split up and search for Eric, stomachs turning at the thought of what might be happening to him at this very moment.

~~~

Eric can’t move. Even if he wasn’t drugged he would’ve frozen up by now.

Tessa won’t get off him.

She kisses him, his lips, his jaw, his neck. Eric can feel the stains her lipstick leaves, sticky and uncomfortable on his skin. Tessa’s hands run over his chest, through his hair. She tugs his hair and finds out it makes him whimper, so she does it again, and again. When Eric musters the dregs of his strength to push her away, she grabs his hand and puts it over her breast, making Eric sob. He’s been crying since this started, he can hardly even see through tears. Maybe that’s a good thing, because he can’t see Tessa that well when she pulls off her shirt and throws it to the floor. She humps against him, moaning against Eric’s skin, into his mouth.

Eric hears sounds in the bathroom, hears other people enter, use the toilet, wash their hands and leave. No one notices a problem, no one knocks on the stall’s door. If they hear Eric crying, they don’t do anything about it. Eric’s body is jelly from whatever Tessa gave him, but adrenaline courses through him, making his heart race. He can hardly breathe. He’s too afraid to close his eyes. He just wants this to be over.

He sobs when Tessa palms his groin, tries in vain to make himself move when she grabs at his belt to undo the buckle. But all he can do is tremble and wait for Tessa to be done with him.

Someone knocks on the door.

“We’re busy,” Tessa giggles, breathless from kissing Eric. She sounds so convincing, and though Eric’s heart soars with hope, he can’t help but fear that whoever it is will move on.

But whoever it is knocks on the door again, louder this time.

“Ugh, leave us be!” Tessa yells. “Are you staff, or something? Did someone report us?”

Another loud, insistent bout of knocking.

“Alright, alright!” Tessa gripes, quickly grabbing her shirt off the floor and pulling it back on. She gets off Eric’s lap, and he whimpers with relief.

Tessa opens the door, and there’s a familiar figure standing there. Eric is too blinded from tears to see their face well, but the silence means it must be CJ.

“Cee…” Eric gasps. It’s all he can manage.

“You don’t look like club staff,” Tessa mutters, looking CJ up and down.

Eric blinks enough tears out of his eyes in time to see CJ, wide-eyed with horror, bring his trusty whistle to his mouth.

“What the–” Tessa says.

CJ blows the whistle, loud and shrill. Tessa yelps and covers her ears. Eric would too if he could, but even though the sound makes his head hurt, it’s music to his ears.

“What on earth was that!?” Tessa yells, “Who even are you??”

CJ just crosses his arms and glares at her with more hate than Eric thought he was capable of. Several long moments pass. Then the door to the bathroom swings open, and RJ bursts in.

“CJ, did you find–” RJ shouts, then gasps, locking eyes with Eric. “AJ!!”

“His name’s Eric,” Tessa scoffs, “Look, you must have the wrong guy. Leave us alone already!”

“Get away from him,” RJ growls, eyes narrowing. He walks up beside CJ, joining him in glaring at Tessa. “We know you drugged him, and we can prove it. There’s powder in all our drinks but yours, and this club has cameras everywhere.”

“You wouldn’t–” Tessa gasps, paling, “No one’s even gonna believe you anyway! It’s not like guys can get raped!”

“So when the drug wears off, Eric’s gonna tell us it was all a big misunderstanding?” RJ asks condescendingly, “He’s gonna tell us he was having a great time until we barged in and ruined it for him? Somehow I doubt it.”

Tessa turns red with anger, but it seems she knows she’s been cornered. She storms out of the bathroom without another word, muttering unintelligibly to herself. She’s barely left the room before RJ and CJ are rushing to Eric, hateful glares melting into worried, horrified expressions.

“AJ,” RJ murmurs, putting an arm around Eric’s shoulders to help him up, “AJ, we’re so sorry this happened!”

“We shouldn’t have left you alone,” CJ adds, tears in his eyes. “We’re sorry, AJ.”

“CJ, help me with him, I don’t think he can move,” RJ says, trying to pull Eric up.

“O’er,” Eric mumbles, eyelids fluttering, tears leaking. “Juss wan’ it o’er…”

The last of his consciousness leaves him, and he sinks into RJ’s hold. RJ yelps and nearly drops him, but CJ comes to Eric’s other side and helps RJ keep him from falling. The twins glance at each other over Eric’s drooping head, deeply worried and a little frightened.

Working together, the pair get Eric out of the bathroom and out of the club. They sit on the sidewalk outside, keeping Eric between them as RJ calls Bim for someone to take them all home. CJ holds onto Eric while RJ waits for Bim to pick up, holding Eric’s head in his lap. Fortunately, it only takes a few rings for Bim to pick up.

As RJ explains what happened nearly too fast for Bim to understand, he glances over at CJ and Eric. CJ is wetting his thumb and wiping Eric’s face with it, trying to rub away the purple lipstick stains, crying silently as he works.

RJ bursts into tears. Bim cries out in alarm, asks what’s going on, but RJ can’t answer.

[prince-toffee]

A real major thing I myself was always trying to put into words was I- I don’t know how to say this lightly so I’ll be blunt...

What the fuck is up with the same body/incest kink????!!!

It’s very unsettling and uncomfortable to watch for me. Cause in that scene that everyone likes to use as joke, where Prime holds the chin of one of his clones as he’s talking to Adora, and the clone has a blush. That’s weird. And gross. Because, in my opinion, the way the clone side of the narrative is non-existent and the whole mind slave concept theme is nudged to the background and not explored - it kind of frames the situation as a jokey wink to the audience like the crew saying to the older viewers ‘Oh yeah look how hot this is *wink* *wink*’. It positions the audience to see the scene as ‘hot’ and I- I don’t know what other word to use ‘sexy’? I guess. And I know Prime talks about taking their life force or something, and it does create an uneasy atmosphere and frames it as gross and weird. But when this scene is set before use, Adora, our hero and morality compass doesn’t even acknowledge it, this horrible scene, there’s no “What have you done to them?” or “You make me sick.” or “You’re a monster.” Nothing. Not acknowledged.

Now, there is without a doubt in my mind the intent of portraying a sexual abuse theme in the clones and Prime, or at least I hope that is the case, but with this crew, you never know. I know without a doubt the crew wanted to create an uncomfortable and uneasy atmosphere in the show which represented sexual harassment and assault... but the show is just bad at conveying that. Cause there is no major arc for the clones which explores the concept and victimisation of the clones under Prime and his weird mind rape dick tentacles. That’s not explored. All we’re left with is that scene. And fans speculate that the allegory for the purification and all that is sexual abuse, but the show itself gives us nothing about it.

And so ultimately that uncomfortable and uneasy scene is as such for the wrong reasons. It just feels like we’re supposed to make a funny twitter post about it. It’s like the crew’s inner Adam Sandler is coming out - “Hey isn’t this hot? Hehe! Isn’t this sexy? You’re welcome.” Like no, the audience is supposed to be positioned to be against it, and yet fandom uses it for weird incest clone shipping.

And maybe I would’ve let this go if it was a one time thing, but unfortunately it isn’t. Remember that scene in season 4 where DT transforms into Catra infront of Catra and they have this strange erotic scene between them and then the fans and the crew was like, ‘Yeah, pretty hot right? You’re welcome.’ Like no! That’s weird! What is that??! Where did that come from? Why is that there???!

It’s obvious, at least to me in my opinion, that some of the she ra crew kind of interspliced the actual show with their own weird unsettling kinks. Like it’s weird, no? Is it just me?

I’m sorry for rambling. I- I just don’t like that.

[leafallsonelines]

Bizarre Love Triangle

I'm not sure what this could mean I don't think you're what you seem I do admit to myself, that if I hurt someone else Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be  -New Order

I didn't want to get into a relationship.

He wore me down and soon enough I was the one crazy about him. I always answer to the undefinably strong pull toward a certain person. I was soul weary and needed a break from emotional turmoil. When you meet somebody else, they're the main character of their own love story (just like I am in mine; as it should be). I'm privy to fact that we all have a history, especially when dating in your late 20's and 30's. I wasn't ready for our stories to collide.

I desperately wanted to avoid cluttering my life with someone else's relationship baggage when I haven't even taken care of mine. He campaigned hard for the relationship. I went for it.

Despite my better judgment I always cave—give in to that desire — anticipate and absorb the pain that inevitably follows.

I told you that story to tell you this one.

Back in 2014 the term Cool Girl ™ was coined to describe women who change their personality for male approval. (The shtick is contrived and annoying once you spot it.) She doesn't have a solid sense of self and basks in attention to fill. That void; hoards men like Thanksgiving hams and gets territorial when she's not The Girl. She gets kicks from seeing how uncomfortable she can make other girls by openly flirting with their boyfriends just to watch them squirm. This act is so played out most people have an eye roll ready for anyone flying the “I'm not like other girls” banner. (Gen Z now calls them Pick-Me-Girls ™.)

I crossed paths with one in 2018 — my boyfriend's best friend of sixteen years. A self-indulgent, selfish friendship. I wasn't initially jealous, didn't interrupt, and it came back to bite me; it was hideously unfair.

For storytelling purposes let's call her “Kate Luu.” Kate, an incestuous tigermom who gets jealous of any girl her son gets with, a petulant toddler that would rather break a toy than let someone else play with it. Probably has BPD. Definitely needs a good therapist.

Like a lot of dewy eyed girls newly in love I conveniently dismissed the red flags around my boyfriend and Kate. I had empathy for them because of my past platonic friendships with flirty undertones. Guys would respectfully fall back when they got into relationships or if I Was in one. I struggled with the slow withdrawal of warmth, missed the emotional intimacy, but recognized it as the right call and moved on. A lot of young adults exploring their sexuality go through this. As I got older I favored female friendships for being uncomplicated, preferring to avoid unwanted sexual tension.

Empathy without boundaries is self-destruction.

A couple weeks after celebrating our one year anniversary Kate texts me, “We need to talk.” Alarms immediately go off in my head. The last few months I had started bringing attention to the bad vibe I was getting and the inappropriate nature of the relationship. I got tired of biting my tongue. He didn't know how to process it or correct it. His lingering infatuation with her made it impossible for him to distance himself or enforce new boundaries. He started hiding it instead. I caught him being intentionally ambiguous about his plans when going to see her. He fumbled himself into an emotional affair.

Princess Diana famously described her marriage to Charles as “crowded.” It was an unmistakable reference to his affair with Camilla. Looking back the (justifiable) anxiety I had was from being crowded. Intuition is not insecurity.

I met Kate for coffee and she read aloud a pathetic five page letter telling me I'm a bad girlfriend and “full of shit.” She was intervening on his behalf as the person who knows what's best for my boyfriend.

“It's none of your business.”

But no, she has the authority to interfere as his best friend of  sixteen years  and I was a  one year  nothing. She brought up the fact he was attracted to her first, told me I'm spineless and ruining their friendship with my insecurity. (She _really _ran with the words spineless and insecure.)

Accusations are confessions when they come from a manipulative person. Textbook projection. She was mad her narcissistic supply was tapering off. (Gaslighting Pro-tip: Label rightful jealousy as insecurity.)

My boyfriend gave her personal, intimate details of my life during their oversharings and she used that information to bully me. Nothing was off the table, including my sexual history. I can see how she manipulated him, but it was inexcusable. People who enable They leave the door open for endless rows of inappropriate behavior. All of this was happening behind my back for a year. That kind of intimate toxicity are suckers for ego massages.

Don't you just love a story where the villain puts all the evidence of her misdeeds in one letter and unravels into epic, illogical rage all in one afternoon, in the space of two hours?

How did Kate have time to write five pages of false narratives designed to destroy a relationship she was jealous of? She doesn't have a job. She's a pampered dog mom living in her rich fiancé's house for free. A busybody performatively taking care of other people to avoid a mountain of personal issues. (An unevolved Virgo.)

Don't worry about what I'm doing. Worry about why you're worried about what I'm doing.

Kate has many noticeable traits as an obnoxious, self-important person — an absolute fake. She calls herself a _philanthropist _without having done anything philanthropic or even knowing how to use the word; she literally saw a big SAT word that means good person and attached Herself to it. (A word assigned to big charitable donors like Bill Gates, not bloggers). She has the same relationship with the word “unconventional” and thinks using a bigger word for unique or quirky makes her even more unique and quirky. Nope, still basic.) In place of possessing any actual humor she repeats memorized dad jokes and leans into corny, forced puns. If this isn't annoying enough she then insists she's funny. (Funny people just make you laugh. They never have to tell people they're funny. Barfs in, “I speak fluent sarcasm.”)

If I poked a finger through her shallow veneer I'd find loose dirt and dog shit.

And you know what? I'm not even against intense friend love. I get it. I groove to “One Love.” Emotional freedom is important. Expressions of love are multitudinous. It should transform to fit the situation. She didn't respect basic boundaries to make room for all of us to be comfortable. She was just mad she got demoted and tried to burn the whole thing down.

Kate wanted to be the main character in my boyfriend's love story without ever actually dating him. Oh yes, I know — the audacity, the toxic lack of boundaries, the mind numbing arrogance. She's not even protagonist material — a papier-mâché hipster who got her personality from an Urban Outfitters catalog and can't stop contradicting herself despite the fact she is working off a pre-written letter. I have never encountered someone who thought so highly of herself while having almost no substance. She calls herself a writer , but is just a pseudo-intellectual English major who posts aesthetic word salad on Instagram.

Later on I realized that if someone is mean to you unprovoked it's jealousy. One of the catalysts for the meetup was a heartfelt anniversary post I wrote on Instagram. It's not my usual style, but I felt gushy and really went full blown poetic and swoony She's jealous that her own, brought up love and Birth of Venus, blah blah blah. She mentioned my IG post and even admitted it was poetic and well written, but proceeded to use that as the jumping off point to invalidate the love in it. writing is try-hard drivel; a woman in her thirties mentally stuck in 2011 tumblr cringe.

If she truly wanted him she should have pursued him honestly and not wait to mess with another person. Hell, even just owning up to her feelings and saying, “I realize I may have lost my chance with you. Is there still anything in our sixteen year history that makes you want to give us a shot instead? ”à la My Best Friend's Wedding. Treading some moral gray area, but way more acceptable than actively sabotaging a relationship.

She didn't really want him though. She just wanted to continue their friendship in that inappropriate flirtationship space to feed her ego. After the coffee date she ended their friendship in an email. That really important sixteen year friendship became disposable to her once she wasn't able to control it.

Sometimes trash does the public service of loudly identifying itself as trash and takes itself out.

If you're a female best “friend” to a guy in a relationship and you need to flex on “I was here first” and “We did this before you were in the picture,” then you were never interested in seeing that friend thrive in a romantic relationship. You just get off on being his favorite unfulfilled option. If seeing him in love with someone new has you feeling that miserable you're just being selfish. Real love doesn't overstep in a new relationship so you can hog their spotlight. You're not even a friend; you're a skunk marking your territory and keeping him in the friendzone while not really wanting him to have a girlfriend.

You learn to love somebody in their love language and not just yours. Selfish love is not real love. That's just using someone to fill a place. Maybe a distraction. Seeking anything in return isn't real love because if you want that you actually don't have love to give; it's fake; it's toxic. If there's someone who isn't around anymore and you miss them consider the fact that you might just miss the place they held in your life. (You have the freedom to fill that space anyway you want.)

She realized she burned through all her goodwill thus the sudden ghosting and extracting herself. I never asked my partner to pick me or issued any ultimatums. Sometimes important questions stay unanswered. Sometimes you have to move on without the apology you deserve. There is grief in never receiving closure.

My partner finally saw my concerns validated in the aftermath. I bubbled with rage remembering excuses he made for her. Day in and day out I was drinking from an overflowing cup of righteous anger. So what was his role in this? Stupid or co- conspirator?

He was oblivious.

“I can't believe you could've left me for a wannabe influencer.”

I switched my phone wallpaper from his picture to a solid color. Looking at his face filled me with disgust. There's only so much letting go you can ask someone to do. I knew I still loved him, but anytime a woman is hurt she becomes less interested.

How do you recover from unknowingly letting a toxic bitch walk all over and jeopardize your relationship?

Friends told me to move on, date other people. He campaigned for the relationship again. We did the work of picking up the pieces and starting over. 

I'm not pretending to be perfect. I was reeling from back to back traumas. My soft spots turned hard and cynical. It was my turn to be the toxic one. I drove to work sobbing everyday for a month. I complained constantly. My default became anxious and suspicious. I'm so out of touch with the person I was before; she's a stupidly innocent, free-spirited stranger to me. It took time for the poison leach out.

It's a lot of baggage.

The couples who make it aren't always the ones that never had a reason to break up. They're the ones that decide their commitment to each other is more important than their mistakes. Fast forward to the herculean effort he made to earn back my trust and we're still very happily together. (This is published with his permission.)

Our relationship is more grounded in reality now. It's not crowded anymore. Somethings more precious from having almost been lost. Somethings will never be the same. I'm the villain in her story, just as much as she's the villain in mine. We get to live out our own endings and there is peace in that.

Hurtful, painful, memories. Memories of deep regrets, memories of hurting and being hurt. Memories of being abandoned. Only those with such memories buried in their hearts can become stronger, more passionate, and emotionally flexible. Only those can obtain happiness. So Don't forget any of it. Remember it all and overcome it. If you don't overcome it, you'll always be a kid whose soul never grows.  -The Boy Who Fed On Nightmares

[ixnova]

Pathfinder x SO hcs

SINCE NO ONE ELSE IS REALLY DOING IT i GUESS i’LL HAVE TO PROVIDE IT MYSELF. GOTTDAMN AND Y’ALL CALL YOURSELVES A FANDOM. (I kid.)

He’s your friend first, boyfriend second.

Like he just genuinely cares about you romantic or not.

Literally info dumped everything on you the first day you two met, explained APEX, his goal to find his creator, etc.

Get’s a lot of dating advice from Mirage and the interwebs, is completely cheesy with it because of this.

Gives you flowers and gifts in excess amounts until he kinda learns for himself how to handle a relationship.

You’re his first and probably only.

Will take you on dinner dates and such even though he can’t eat. He just enjoys watching you eat and chatting to you while you eat.

Great for Netflix and chill, he loves watching new tv shows and such. He really wants to know what happens next but will wait for you.

Probably does too much “research” online and becomes paranoid about losing you sometimes.

Doesn’t get the concept of sleep but knows you need it and will keep you company while you sleep. Maybe move his charging station into the bedroom.

He can be cold or warm depending. Metal is naturally cooler to the touch but he’s warmer towards his core where his computer screen is. You can hear his fans going if you listen closely enough.

Not actually comfy to cuddle with, but you’d get used to it and find a position that works. Very chunky and bulky. Sometimes he puts pillows and such between himself so you can rest better.

He can actually wear certain clothing even tho he doesn’t need it. Got a few jackets from APEX and such, but they have to be oversized to fit him, so bonus for you when you steal them.

Honestly why steal them though just ask and he will give them to you, he doesn’t need them.

He’s not one to scare easily by normal means but he has his limits, will hide behind you and curl up with you when he does feel threatened. Lightning storms are one of the niche things that gets to him.

Always down to make you laugh, Will rehash jokes constantly, borderlines on telling dad jokes. Somehow he manages to get a chuckle out of you every goddamn time.

You love it though, you know you do.

He’s completely infatuated with you simply because you’re human. He likes seeing how you react to things, learning how you operate. He’s just interested in humans in general, but something’s special about you.

He’s not really sure what the emotions he feels really are, but he supposed based on research, “love” might be the closest thing to describe it.

Not many would expect it from his bubbly personality but he’s actually easily jealous when others flirt with you.

We’re talking rehashing some trash talk insults he learned online telling someone to leave you alone and go away when he’s had just about enough of them pestering you.

one of the few times hes actually mean, instantly feels bad about it later though... but not sorry.

You’re his. He doesn’t mean to be possessive and he doesn’t freak out when you’re out alone without him, but it’s just like, he’d like for you to be his.

He’d take you ziplining for fun sometimes, if you’re not afraid of heights.

Prepare for having to answer lots of questions, he’s curious about everything and if you’re spending time with him you’re gonna get the brunt of it.

Also expect to be told completely random facts, he loves learning about stuff!

“Turtles can breathe through their butts, how interesting!”

Would probably tell everyone that he’s dating you, even random strangers.

He’s called out to you live on APEX a few times making sure you’re watching or dedicating a win to you.

It’s a bit embarrassing but he means well.

“Everyone! This is my girlfriend!”

He’s just proud of you man.

He’d also be super supportive of you and whatever you’d want to do in life.

and when that doesn’t work out he’d be there to cheer you up.

Brings you all of your favorite things, including himself of course.

No more tears, let’s go watch our favorite Netflix show.

Takes pictures of you all the time without you even knowing, benefits of being a robot.

He just saves them for personal use, to look at when he misses you. Nothing weird though, its not like he watches you sleep or anything!

He thinks you’re beautiful all the time, even when you know you’re not at your best.

He just really, really likes you. He hopes you feel the same.

There that should fill the void for awhile. But while I’m here.... NSFW under cut.

As we all know, it’s canon that he can fuck. Of course he’d put that knowledge to use in a relationship if you were okay with it.

Probably learned about sexual intercourse while browsing the web and found porn or something.

Maybe picked it up from just learning about humans in general and with that comes information on mating patterns.

He’s extremely inexperienced though, so you’d have to personally show him how things are done.

He’d draw comparisons to videos and such he’d seen online, so at least he’d be aware if he was hurting you or not. Which he’d never do intentionally.

Your first time was probably extremely silly and awkward, but it was alright.

He doesn’t exactly have a dick or anything, naturally anyway, but he does have hands.

If you like being fingered you’re in for a real treat, he’s surprisingly good at that.

He’s always intrigued by your moans and like seeing how your body reacts to his touch. Sometimes he tries new things just to see how you’d react.

Even though he doesn’t really get much out of it, knowing you’re enjoying it is all he needs.

Extremely lame at dirty talk, he’s just too nice. He will read scripts and repeat quotes from online porno to try and get you going but it just falls flat because its rehearsed.

Probably would be best as a dom, no, he’s decided from watching videos and such that he wants to be the dom. Submissive just doesn’t suit him.

I can’t express how bad he is at dirty talk though, its funny. “I’ve been very bad.” “What? Who said that? I think you are doing wonderful, friend!”

Maybe later on you’d experiment with strap ons, or maybe someone in this wild universe can customize him a dick attachment. 

That’d get a bit more interesting, he’d again reference what he’d seen online and try to go down on you.

He gets to be closer to you this way, and its odd because he likes it though he can’t explain why.

Those handles around his screen and such are GREAT to hold onto while riding, FYI.

He’s a robot so he never runs out of energy so he can go for as long as you want to, and then some.

He might forget himself once or twice, perhaps get a bit too into it, but all you have to do is say stop and he will instantly drop everything.

He loves your body, he loves every inch of you, expect metal hands to explore and violate every part of your being.

Oddly enough, sexual intercourse really gets his motors going. Perhaps another one of his many emotions is possible arousal.

You’re often going at it above the sheets or in a colder room, he WILL overheat eventually.

You’ll have to pay attention sometimes, he won’t tell you he’s overheating for fear of ruining the mood, or interrupting your enjoyment.

Bondage? BDSM, yeah he’s heard of it. Maybe he’s itching to try a few things with you, if you wanted.

He’s not into the cuffs and whips though. Oh no he has a very special kind of kink.

Ropes are fantastic, you can zipline with them, grapple onto stuff... Tie people up.

You ever seen those very intricate rope art porno? Yeah.

Yes he uses the ziplines rope.

He’ll never tie it too tight though, just enough to keep you in place.

He makes cute patterns with it while he’s tying. small hearts, sometimes ties roses into the design.

You are a canvas and he is the artist, he’s quite proud of the tie when he’s done.

He’d much rather gaze at you and admire his work than fuck you sometimes when you play like this.

Extremely big on after care. He’ll cuddle you and tell you how well you did and that he enjoyed it too. He’d make sure you’re okay and tell you that he loves you!

Although he’d never hurt you purposely, sex is always a bit rough with him no matter how gentle he is. You’ll always have a few bruises here and there. Around the hips, thighs, wrists, it’s just the nature of the beast.

You kind of dig the markings though.