#if you wouldn't make different age siblings look exactly the same then don't do it with fraternal twins

[rainbowfucker]

Trans Dipper/Mabel 🤝 Trans Alphinaud/Alisae

[twoidiotwriters1]

Chapter 1. Fun Times & Potty Rooms

Summary: Dearest Gentle reader, as another season starts so do the surprises. Masterlist // Next Chapter Words: 1,517 Listen to: What's Up? -by Non 4 Blondes A/N: Don't forget to leave feedback, please! -Danny

Dear Diary,

Mother insists I write even though she knows this isn't what I meant when I said I wanted to write. I'm not a self-referential lady who enjoys talking to herself; in fact, I believe it is quite silly and embarrassing. But alas, I am writing. To myself. 

Why, you ask? Well, for the first time in my five-and-twenty years of living, I'll spend some time away from home. Mother thinks it's time I do so, otherwise I'll be a perfect stranger to other royals and no one will know of me once I become Queen. When I said in jest that it was my intention, Mother didn't laugh. Which hurt plenty, because she usually laughs at the nonsense I spit. Which means she must want me to mingle and socialize. Lord have mercy on all of us.

Mother used to be just like me when she was my age, but she is so regal nowadays that you wouldn't believe she used to trip over armour and set fire to gentlemen's suits. My father fell in love with Mother because she was fire, he often jests.

Are these the things one writes in a diary? I must admit I'm doing this with half a mind since I'm also watching over my twin brothers, Richard and Rowan, and my younger sister Marie, so they do not fall off of the moving carriage. I wish I were more like Marie, graceful and charming, she's all dad. 

I'm boisterous when careless, with my head in the clouds and unable to land swiftly... How is this journey to England going to change that? A bunch of mummies live in that palace. My maid said they are the most rigid crowd I'll ever meet.

The fun awaits.

Benedict rises from his slumber tangled in two different bodies, with the sun streaming down on his face and immediately heightening the dormant headache. When he props himself up, the man on his right rolls over groaning and covering his head with a pillow, then the woman on his left curls away from him, pulling the covers closer to her bare body, baring Benedict and showing the marks all over his body. He used to find satisfaction in them, but lately, the day after his love affairs has been causing him a most unpleasant irk.

Maybe it's time to... settle down?

Benedict shrugs off the thought with a grimace. A boring aristocratic life accompanied by some sensible woman sends him reeling, it's all a bit too serious, and deep within his heart, he's always felt that he could not possibly abandon this type of life. Such a wide variety of companions to love... Why would he quit it?

No fun at all.

You step out of the carriage and your foot slips. Helped by the footman, you give him a soft thank you and offer him a kind smile, but he doesn't look up at you at any moment. You sigh, realizing this trip is bound to be exactly what you imagined.

Your siblings hurry after you and you chastise them. Even though you're around the same age, the twins are just entering their twenties, therefore it's hard to make them understand being loud and bold isn't cute anymore. Your sister holds your arm as she looks up at the castle with curiosity.

"Ample..." Marie says bemusedly.

"All that wasted space," you sigh. "They don't have toilets here, so you'll have to go in your room in a pissy bowl—"

"Y/N," your mother, Queen Amelia, stops beside you giving you a look. "Don't even think about complaining in the Queen's presence... but call it a potty if you are to be funny. Pissy bowl makes you sound five."

You and your sister giggle, which makes your mother send a conspiratory wink your way. A lovely woman. Your father, King Nicholas, comes up the steps and presses his hands to your backs, urging the two of you to enter the castle. 

"In girls, it looks like rain..."

"Are we to spend all of our time indoors, then?" Your sister pouts. 

"That is less than ideal, considering Y/N is here to be outdoors for a change, but I suppose it depends on the weather," your father glares at the sky. "England wishes to give us a proper welcome."

"No, thank you!" Marie picks up her pace.

"I spend time outdoors," you argue under your breath.

The man smiles. "Let me rephrase, then. To meet new people and spend time with them outdoors."

As you enter the wide hall you're welcomed by the Queen of England and her many children. A few are closer to your age, but you do not like the way the male part of the bunch eyes you and your sister. Or the way the Princesses look at your brothers, for that matter.

"Your Majesty, Queen Amelia of Genovia. King Consort, Nicholas Devereaux, and their children— Princess Y/N Devereaux, Princess Marie Devereaux, and the Princes Richard and Rowan Devereaux."

While the girls curtsy and the boys bow, the queens greet each other. Queen Charlotte spares a brief glance toward your father and a little 'hmph' escapes her lips with no further comment. King Nicholas, a man with a sense of humour, glances your way and pretends to loosen his cravat anxiously while gulping, which makes you giggle.

"Ah, Benedict, there you are," Violet surveys her son over the teacup she's holding. "Took you long enough to join us. Where have you been?"

"Morning, Mother, I apologize," he smiles and sits next to Gregory. "I woke up early and walked around Hyde Park hoping for inspiration to strike."

"Seems to me you were the one striking," Colin mutters across the table, eyeing his brother's neck with a grin. Benedict pulls his cravat higher up and glares at his brother to keep quiet.

"Benedict, did you hear the news?" Hyacinth speaks, almost shaking with excitement. "A royal family is attending the first ball of the season!"

"There is always some royal family at balls, isn't it?" He retorts without interest.

"The Queen and King of Genovia are staying in London for the whole season," Anthony says carefully. "Along with their two daughters and sons. I expect you to keep the family name as pristine as ever."

"Is this why you're here and not at home with your wife?" Benedict asks. "You came to scold us ahead in case we were planning to make a fool of ourselves?" Anthony doesn't dignify the question with an answer, he looks at his brother with a steely glare for a few extra seconds before he goes back to his food. Like I care about flimsy princesses, Benedict thinks with disdain.

"Whistledown says this will be the first public appearance of Princess Y/N!" Hyacinth continues, unbothered by her brothers's lack of excitement. "I wish I were old enough to attend the ball..." She turns to Francesca and Eloise. "Will you try to befriend her for me? She must be your age."

Eloise scoffs. "Befriend a princess? If she's anything like ours, she'll be all night fanning herself looking down at every poor mortal that dares walk within her breathing distance."

"They're not quite like us," Colin points out, just as fond of gossip as his sister. "Ever since Queen Amelia ascended to the throne, Genovia has been known for their... er... forward thinking."

Benedict snorts. Whatever royalty considers "forward thinking" is not even halfway there. Eloise, however, leans on the table wanting to hear more of it. "What do you mean, brother?"

"Women are encouraged to get higher education. They participate in sports, hunts, arts— and can wear male's clothing—"

That pulls a gasp from their mother and Eloise, although they're both different sounds in nature. Violet blushes and replies in a shy voice. "Oh, well... if it works for them..."

"They're well on their way to becoming a leading nation," Colin continues excitedly. "Which is why the Queen has invited them. Whistledown made a joke last month... something about England living in the Dark Ages and being the reason why people branch out and leave the country, claimed that Genovia would double in size thanks to us... it was quite merciless."

Anthony shakes his head. "You let women do stuff they're already doing in the privacy of their homes and call it revolutionary. Please."

What would the Queen of Genovia think of people like Benedict? Maybe he should visit the country, perhaps this very season, he would try anything just to escape the usual horde of debutants and dull social events...

"Well, there is a great deal of difference between having to be private and choosing to be," Francesca argues. Benedict smiles at her, a silent compliment he gives every time she outwits Anthony.

"There are other things happening in Genovia, it's not all about women," Colin shrugs it off. "I was just giving an example I knew would interest Eloise the most."

"And which ones were left out of your consideration?" Eloise grins.

"The potty rooms," he states, making Gregory choke on his tea.

Next Chapter –>

Taglist.

@babypink224221 @Booknerdlife @djsporks @lght-roastcoffee @marii-ren @mythical-goth @omgsuperstarg @creepytoes88 @sarahskywalker-amidala

[psychemochanight]

Hii, tbh I do not know if you have been asked about this before me, but what are you thinking about the relationship between Damian and Dick? In your opinion, is this more of a father-son relationship? Or very close brothers ? Or just "I have to put up with him." What do you think??

Plus I adore your posts, they are really cool, I'm in love with ur hc💓💓💓💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

Hiiii :D

Honestly, I don't think I ever thought about it, at least not in a more "analytical" way.

I think it genuinely depends on what point in their relationship you're looking at.

Like Nightwing and Robin, they are brothers. I can see it like a mentor-apprentice relationship and a bit of a father-son relationship, but they seem more like brothers to me.

I'm not going to lie, this may be a little influenced by my own relationship with my brother, we have practically the same age difference as Dick and Damian. I am the older one, and I am adopted and he is a biological son.

And I always notice similarities between our dynamics (leaving aside the whole being heroes thing, lmaoooo), but the way Dick knows how to advise his younger brother (and his father to be able to understand his youngest son), more from experience... Well, it's something common among siblings, even more so if there is a significant age difference between the two.

Now, like Batman and Robin, they're definitely going more towards a father-son dynamic.

Even when they want to project Bruce and Dick as brothers, for me within the Batman and Robin dynamic there is always more of a father-son relationship. Same thing goes for Dick and Damian.

As Batman, Dick takes on a more mentor-oriented role for Damian, also, perhaps unconsciously, he seemed to mimic certain behaviors Bruce had towards him when they were the original dynamic duo. Not hero dynamics, but when they were out of the mask.

Also, we know that Dick wanted to adopt Damian, but he was afraid he wouldn't be a good father to him.

Now, like Dick and Damian, I personally do see them as brothers again, differently than they are when they're in costume tho.

There are many older siblings who raise their younger siblings, this is unfortunately all too common. In some ways, they resemble parents more than siblings, but still, they maintain a line that distinguishes these roles from each other.

I feel like this is the relationship between Dick Grayson and Damian Wayne.

Dick is definitely his older brother, but he treats Damian like his own son.

Damian is definitely his younger brother, but he sees Dick as a father figure.

There is a father-son relationship in the form of care and protection, but a trust that only exists between siblings to tell them secrets that the parents cannot know.

Basically, they bring out the best in every type of relationship.

I don't know if this makes much sense, as I said, I've never really looked into the dynamics of it exactly, but I think it's something like this as far as I can see.

And thank u so so much 💖💖💖 It makes me very happy to know that you like them!!!

At least this way my rambling about my current hyperfixation seems to make sense HAHA ✨

[probablydinosaurs]

five joking about his life or throwing it in their faces makes the siblings uneasy. they cant FATHOM it and it hurts. tbh i feel once they aren't all in such danger and ignoring his warnings and ring leader like behavior , they would slowly start spoiling him a bit. he wouldn't notice at all at first but over time, he gets a deep sense that everyone pities him but he cant place it. he'd start denying any hand outs or good will bc he doesn't want to be seen as a headcase that needs coddling. and i think different siblings are in different camps if u put "baby" and "old man" on a sliding scale. none of these are like extreme stances, more just the vibes they feel from five.

Luther: old man 80% bc hes the only one that see's five's "older" self and can 100% say. same guy no changes. mentally unsound…. but like five stated in that whole fiasco, Luther has daddy issues and cant like. see that old man in such a young man. Luther has 1 half a brain cell. his need to nod and agree to every old man he listens to illnesses wont allow it. so he weirdly flip flops. he also develops the habit of trying to pick five up to calm him down, witch ends very poorly each time.

Diego: protective brother energy. cant fathom his brother got THAT much trauma in him. and is older then him. 13 years of being all the same age. 13 years of sharing the same birthday. and now well everyone ages up together, five is in his own corner being like 67 well the rest are like mm idk math 40 something. Diego just cant…think that far. denial. every time he thinks he's used to this old man or starts seeing him as the same age as everyone, five info dumps about the inner workings of a specific gun or the how good the wine in the celler will be 37 years exactly from now and to wait…Diego just mentally reboots.

Allison: baby camp. didn't take him very seriously back in the day either bc his ego is the size of a watermelon. and oh look the lil guy thinks bc he has more life behind him then us, he thinks he's the smartest one here. yeah right. she makes him his coffee when he wakes up or folds his Landry bc she needs to do hers and he forgot to take his out. five just thinks shes being passive aggressive but its more "if i don't then he might hurt himself or mumbling to himself about how forgetful he has become and i do NOT want to here that right how. il just do it. " tough love babying. five sometimes lets her brush his hair when he's in a bad state of mind.

klaus: depends on the day. he is the one who tease him about his height the most. i think Klaus tries to pinch his cheeks at least once a day and nearly got a blade through his hand at attempt # 23. but he also is second one that weirdly respects him the most. complementing how happy he looks DUE to his retirement and not just in general. likes buying him the stuffiest old man clothes ever from off the road and down an alley thrift shops, thinking everyone would find them silly but five like. genuinely adores them and borderlines on feeling the want to hug him but neh. too stubborn. almost though. witch is rare. five will never admit that he thinks Klaus has a good fashion sense.

ben: the brother that ruffles his hair the most. the two that severed the family. they have a unspoken energy about them. you don't mention my death, i wont bring up your past deal. Ben doesn't really care anyway. on the "i got my brother back, that's all that matters." camp with viktor. fuels five's need to bicker on topics. their hard ass but still playful energy balances each other out. is the one that tells klaus that the clothes he picks out for five is too much and he will hate them but gets surprised every time five likes them. riiight right. he wouldn't have the tastes as the 13 year old i remember him as. he downs scotch like a mad lad. gotta remember that.

viktor: leader of the "he could have come back to us as an acorn like dad warned and id still keep him in my pocket." camp. just happy to have his favorite sibling back. though they admit five also being the most open with him makes him uneasy. he wants to listen about the past 45 years but it can be very existential for viktor. five understands and lets him breath if its too much. (stealing this from this post) i feel like five owns and somehow still has on him a very worn and well loved copy of viktor's book. with notes and highlights scribbled in them. the cover fell off and five sewn it back on then poorly laminated it with the commission's laminating machine . viktor would cry if he saw it. full blown meltdown together.

[sincapjelly]

Uhm so... I got a little insane over Pooh lore and... I have a whole long post about why I think Christopher and Darby are supposed to be siblings 🧍‍♀️...

SO! Starting from the obvious.

Look at them... just.... just look at them. Same bangs, blue eyes, same expressions, like heck! In the 2011 reboot, Christopher's hair was a lot darker than the og light brown, tell me it is not to match her better!

Not only that, but the way Christopher often checks her with his eyes throughout the episode like a big brother would to make sure his little sister is doing all fine.

Also the age gap. Christopher is canonically older in this show, so it makes me think the reason they'd be best friends is them being siblings. Because you know, especially as kids, age gaps play a huge role in friendships. Darby is canonically 6, so I assume Christopher is at least like 10. So not exactly the same age group.

But you know when age gaps don't matter? When you are siblings. Best friends and siblings makes so much sense to me. They'd most likely be besties with people their age and not with each other if they weren't siblings.

Another thing is the fact that Darby was the only other human to ever visit Hundred Acre Wood and befriend Christopher's toys. (Other than his literal wife and daughter in the live action movie, which again, his family.) Because like, this is all Christopher's world, his toys, his imagination. The fact that she was so naturally blended in makes me think they have to be siblings.

In the pilots of the show, there is a scene of the crew being scared of someone being in the Wood, then when Darby shows up they all relax and say "oh it's just her". Meaning they knew her prior to the show, potentially ever since she was born.

Because Christopher got Winnie when he was 1 year old, and the rest probably followed shortly after, this mean if they're siblings, the crew all knew Darby from the moment she was born, and she knew them too.

I know not all siblings are the same, but I have a little brother who is 7 years younger than me. The moment he was born, I wanted to include him in my own imagination and the friendship I had with my favourite toys. I believe this is what happened with Christopher too.

Another thing is, Christopher's mother. I know, I know, this sounded so weird but. Just look at her in the 1988 show...

Like that's so grown up Darby isn't it? Also, her name's apparantly "Dorothy/Daphne" so, we can also say lore wise this could have been where Darby got her name.

There is also something my wife mentioned. Remember that Darby has that monkey toy?

So yeah. There was this episode in the 1988 show where Christopher has a gift for a friend of his, which is a robot gorilla. Episode info down below!

So her point is that, Darby's monkey toy could be a callback to this episode, meaning that we can expect that in the cgi show, "Bruno" of this canon was meant for Darby.

And I briefly mentioned this before but... Do we seriously think, that Christopher would let just any kid play with Winnie?? He wouldn't give Winnie to Darby if they were just unrelated friends that see each other from time to time.

It just doesn't make sense for them to not be siblings honestly. Because the whole thing is Christopher's own, some random kid can not access his dream world and his friends in the Hundred Acre Wood, come on!

You don't just, tell your friend what you play and what worlds you imagine with your toys and suddenly make them a part of it. Friendships between unrelated people and siblings are different. The fact that Christopher shares that with Darby is enough to make the believe they are siblings.

Darby not only becomes a part of Christopher's imaginary world, she adds to it. Together they make new rules and status quo, expand the Hundred Acre Wood together. He not just lets her in, but gives her full power over their world. You don't just let anybody into your dream world like that.

Christopher only shows up twice in My Friends Tigger and Pooh. One being the Many Thanks to Christopher Robin one, and the other being the frog one.

In Many Thanks to Christopher Robin, Darby seems sad that everyone's there except Christopher. And then he shows up immediately. That whole scene is so little sister wanting her brother and best friend there with her. The same thing happens when he follows them on their mission to help.

Just watch her and tell me this is not a little sister being happy that her brother finally has time to play with her again:

Also in this episode, Christopher makes it clear that he knows about the whole Super Sleuth thing which is something Darby adds to their imaginary world.

Since Christopher is older here than he is in the movies, it explains why Darby wouldn't be in other Pooh media. She is simply just too little to play or she isn't even born yet. It also explains why he was absent in the CG show. Just like the movies, he is off to school, only being able to play with her in these two days.

The other episode is when Darby thinks she turned Christopher into a frog, which of course, couldn't be further from the truth. He meets them in the end of the episode, and she hugs him and they're glad he isn't a frog, etc.

Here I want to point out their body language around each other. The hug, the hand holding, it's so a little sister and a big brother I can not explain it. A sister who thought she turned her brother and best friend into a frog forever and then realises it's not true at all. She sees him and runs to him immediately. Like those are siblings look at them :(

I can probably add more, but I think this is enough for now?

[i-willstealyourtoes]

Huh can I get uhhhh

Get uhh

Bain legally adopts a teenage reader for tax reasons and drops them off at the safehouse and Dallas essentially becomes their dad?

Also a side of them hanging out with the younger heisters (Joy Sydney Sokol) and I guess I'll be having it platonic family fluff style. Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask though.

You got it right! Hope you enjoy :) I decided not to use the colours, because I'm not sure if people actually like them haha- If you guys want them back lmk!

Adopted!Teen!Reader + the PDG

- Now, Bain did adopt you for tax reasons (I don't know how that works but we roll)

- But that doesn't mean he doesn't care about you or anything, he'll make sure you're alright

- But he's not exactly in the position to look after a kid, considering he's always busy and needs to be as private as possible

- So he usually leaves you at the safehouse, where there's always someone there

- Dallas interacts with you first, as well as some of the younger heisters

- He's always been the one to greet new members of the team, as he is kind of the leader

- So it isn't much different with you, although of course you're much younger than the people he's interacted with recently

- Forgive him if he's a little awkward

- With the younger heisters, at least he could talk about their occupation and skills, but with you? Nothing

- But he's friendly enough, letting you know he's there if you have any problems

- Every heister has a different first opinion of you

- For example, Joy and Sydney are quite nice to you immediantly

- They're closest to you in age, and therefore a bit more relatable

- Sydney will get you to do some pranks or something

- Joy will record it, occasionally helping out

- They're definitely one of the quickest to warm up to you

- If you like art or gaming, they're more than happy to talk about it with you!

- You can all play Mario Kart or something :)

- Joy will beat you guys for sure, but it's okay (you and Sydney will get her back later)

- I think at the start, Sokol would be kind of dismissive of you

- I mean, why do they have to deal with Bain's kid? The safe-house is a place for skilled heisters to plan out their next move, not some daycare

- Or at least, that's how it starts for him

- But when you ask for some pointers on how to shoot, play hockey, or maybe ask for some lessons in Russian, he'll start to warm up

- After that? He treats you like his beloved little sibling :)

- 'If anything happens to them I will kill everyone in this room and then myself' type beat

- May occasionally try to get you into the heisting career at some point. Maybe.

- Once you learn how to shoot and so on, Dallas might help you out too, but he probably won't let you do anything further

- You're still a kid, he doesn't like the idea of putting you in danger

- Although the younger heisters seem to think it as a potentially good idea

- As for the other heisters?

- Wolf would probably not talk to you in general, but the more time you spend in his presence, the more discreetly protective of you he is

- Chains is probably more like a mix of Dallas and Sokol in that he'd like having you train, but is unsure about you starting off a career in heisting

- Hoxton is originally a bit stand-offish for the same reason as Sokol, but eventually matches a bit with Sydney in that he'd encourage you to bring a little chaos in the safe-house

- Houston would be like Wolf; he wouldn't really speak to you or interact since he thinks it's weird for Bain to adopt you in the first place. Will encourage some pranks though-

- John Wick would also be in disagreement with you being adopted by Bain in the first place, but will warm up and help with training (he's definitely quite strict tho beware!!)

- Clover for sure acts as an older sister, teasing you but overall being kind and protective over you (will cheer you on during training)

- Dragan would try not interact with you really..but he might give some tips if you're training/working out. Eventually, like Wolf, he will become secretly protective of you :)

- Jacket would probably not interact very often with you, but eventually, he'll let you listen to his music or play games (kinda like Houston, he will low-key enjoy the pranks too)

- Bonnie would treat you like a little sibling and maybe try to teach you poker to scam the others with false innocence (high-fives if you do so) + if you have (romantic) relationship issues, she will encourage you to end/ruin their lives

- Jiro would definitely judge Bain for adopting you for tax reasons, and for a little bit he might be a quite distant, but as time progress, he sort of views you as a kid to look after too, maybe not like his child, but still a child for him to protect and look after

- Bodhi would for sure try get you into surfing or just sports, the others will pull you away (unless you actually enjoy it then they'll just roll their eyes or something)

- Jimmy is maybe not the greatest role model, but he's actually quite fun around you, just be aware he might pass out in the middle of a conversation with you

- Rust would probably keep his distance from you at first, thinking that it's better not to interact since he's, well, old and a criminal. But after a little while, especially once you start training and so on, he'll warm up to you! You might find yourself a new (o l d) uncle :)

- Sangres for sure will try to teach you some blade skills or Spanish words (a lot of them might be profanity). He's a lot of fun, just not the most responsible-

- Duke might not come up to talk to you much, but he doesn't mind talking to you if you come up to him, especially if it's about history and so on :)

[pierrotdelalune]

DID ramblings with a sprinkle of OCD and BPD on the side.

CW: talking about the death of multiple alters.

My system (the alters I know of at least) and I did the quiz post yesterday and not only was it a really fun experience but it was also incredibly enlightening in certain aspects. I didn't think our opinions could differ so greatly that we could hold such long debates. Anywhere ranging from our core values to the silliest of matters. It was amusing to imagine from an outsider's point of view: I was just sitting there silently dissociating as we were all co-fronting. I'm glad we're able to come to an understanding at the end, especially if it's to agree to disagree since I hadn't felt this freedom of choice in a long time. Maybe this shows I'm healing from the abuse! That would make me happy. This very insignificant exercise made me realize a lot of things I wasn't aware were buried deep in me somewhere. Quite a few of my alters died in the past years, and I don't know how many but some died not even a few months ago, maybe a few weeks. I don't think I could manage to properly convey the feeling, it's something you have to experience for yourself to truly understand, I think. It's a lot lighter, and lonelier. A lot of "my" past memories feel like they were disconnected, if that makes sense. If you're an older sibling, this is kind of the same feeling you get when your younger sibling does something and you feel responsible for them, even though you have no active part in their actions or words. It's heightened by the fact I feel others' feelings as my own. It makes it so much more challenging to differentiate between me and them.

It's also helped me realize a lot of things regarding the people I know. Good and bad. Not going into details 'cause I'm tired, maybe for another day, but I hope I will one day be able to recognize when people are hurting and manipulating me when it's happening rather than after it's happened. It would save me a lot of trouble and useless pain.

A friend of a friend came to me for help regarding their BPD, since they told them I have BPD as well. I've known I was borderline since my second year of middle school (I was very aware of things despite my age and circumstances, while also being completely oblivious of a lot of other things, because of my age and circumstances) but I never really bothered to do anything about it because I was convinced I couldn't self-diagnose properly at that time. I've been researching BPD on and off in order to be able to help them and that was actually eye-opening for some of the things I've personally experienced. It's hard to find relevant resources with how cluster-b individuals are demonized, unfortunately. I might look into my OCD one day, but since I don't have the motivation to help someone else I don't think that's happening anytime soon. Although it would be for the best if I did, and I wouldn't lose anything from it either way.

I'm getting better these days. I've lost a core part of myself. My memories are coming back bit by bit, a lot of people were shittier than I remembered but I'm starting to set healthy boundaries. This one's for me.

I'm proud of you.

<3

-

CW: self harm mention.

Not a very long post since I will be posting the Q&A series afterwards, but I've come to realize another thing regarding my system: that is, the fact a few of my (now gone) alters used to be incredibly cruel towards the rest of us, particularly me since I'm fronting most of the time. To this day I'm not exactly certain as to why, but they used to put me in various situations that would trigger my traumas, excuse the behavior of abusive people in my circle, or just flat out push me to hurt myself. Out of all of the things I've opened my eyes to in the past few weeks, I think this one might be the most painful to come to terms with. It also explains so much. The night terrors, the self-harm, the intense fear and anxiety...To be honest, when the realization dawned on me I physically felt my heart drop. It was nauseating. How should I explain this, when I don't know a single soul who shares the same experience as me, when it's so difficult to find proper sources that don't bias against people like you? And following the pattern of my posts (I've noticed) on a more positive note, it also partly explains why I'm doing so much better. No one's making me look at or read things that trigger my traumas, no one's harming our body anymore and while my mind still feels chaotic and my OCD doesn't help, it's still a lot more peaceful there. "The main quartet" feels a lot more happy. I'm gonna be honest, the fact that we're the main quartet like the moon has four primary phases makes me incredibly giddy. I'm smiling like a fool as I'm writing.

Oh, right! 🌙 - Full moon. 🍓 - New moon. 🚬 ❄️ - First quarter moon. 🪷 - Last quarter moon.

Originally posted on August 10th and 12th.

[freshairforrabbits]

Taking your word for it re fanfiction asks, so: 1, 7, 9 (for your Hostel fic that deserves more love), 10 (again Hostel), 17, 21, 25, 27, 28, 36, 41, 44, 45, 47, 48, 49. Your made up title to write a summary for is "i need no introduction (welcome to the greatest show)" from skins by the Haunting, which I have been listening to on repeat over the past few days.

Thank you for asking all of these ❤️ and also for making me discover that song because it is so fucking good!!!

1)Since I can remember! At toddler age and maybe even a bit before, my mom would let me and the siblings draw all over these little blank picture books she would staple together. She would then ask what the story was about so she could write it down on each page, and I was already making up new endings to whatever media I could understand like Bug's Life, Jurassic Park, PBS kids shows. If that doesn't count as fanfic though– then I seriously buckled down to write my first one when I was 10, with pencil and paper, and then 22 for actually finishing one and posting it on AO3

7) anytime after 9pm 

9) oh fuck that's a tough one, I'd say in Jagten it's the parts with Paxton stumbling around the Elite Hunting Clubs killing floor, because in the movie that's one of my favorite scenes where Paxton calls Natalya a bitch and then she's like, 'they paid me a lot of money for you. That makes you my bitch.' Just getting to write her seeing his shock and disgust and fear was fun as hell. 

10) I was going to actually go all the way up to some plotline where she does kill him (since Paxton is killed in the Hostel universe I figured Natalya becoming a hunter to do the honors instead would've been so badass of her, despite Paxton being a favorite in his own right he's just very killable), but then I figured it'd be far better to start things off sort of where they began with the fic. Natalya and Paxton facing each other down except this time the resolution is up in the air, and Paxton has no idea that she's coming for him. 

17) The girl, she made a deal, he remembers it now, to save the ghosts she'd come to see as friends, as more parents than her own, sacrificing herself to a crude entity of booze, sex, and filth;

beetlejuicebeetlejuicebeetlejuice.

21) If we are talking about outside of AO3 then that would be god, this would be a lot of people both within AO3 and outside of AO3, hm, I really admire this one author who wouldn't you know shares the same name as you! All jokes aside, so much of the fics I've been writing and making lately have been directly inspired by your writing and so I can't help but admire the fuck out of the absolute range of your writing and the ability you have to tackle so many different styles and characters!

25) Yes! Although I can't give any specific examples, I just know I have, and it's usually when writing super hopeful bits after writing a bunch of incredibly harrowing sequences.

27) I make outlines! They're typically very long too and constantly get changed around and shifted and even deleted and rewritten many times. The outline for pretty boy is 40k on any given day and most of that will not actually be what's finally written it's just excerpts and scenes that don't quite work but pieces of them could be stitched together for something better 

28) There isn't exactly anything I'm doing super different now then when I first started! But I wish I'd known to never touch general fandom Tumblr or Twitter or social media (and especially Discord Servers) with a ten foot pole when I started posting, that'll destroy your motivation to write faster than anything, not to mention it gets in your head about characterization and whatever else; like just write!! Just write and don't look at what other people are saying because it is not worth it unless they're fellow authors you have a rapport with 

36) Selfcest-Daddy-Son Carnival Ride of Grooming and Sexual Battery from Fucking Hell; Oh and don't forget the maybe-baby! (not sure if that's the spoiler that questions asking for but dfghhjjj)

41) Probably Natalya from Hostel and Natália from 3% in an unfinished wip but she's not exactly a minor character imo, just under appreciated 

44) (You fight, you rip into him, you eat him alive, fangs sunk through the muscle of lips, colonel's cum, corporal's blood swapped between you, ouroboros, you—)

45) Sheer mental illness, literally nothing else makes me write 30k in two weeks more than a sudden burst of energy and nigh delusional thinking which inevitably leads to a cycle of crashing and burning but fuck it we ball nothing else gets me clearing out those wips faster. That and one of the core elements of experiential therapy emphasizes learning to express through writing so that definitely keeps me going too since the more I write the more I can take with me to a session even if the content isn't relevant, it's all about processing a vast array of situations and emotions and intrusive thoughts through playing with little figures in the sandbox of a word document.

47) "i need no introduction (welcome to the greatest show)" this is going to be such a boring answer but for a title like this nothing better comes to mind then that idea you mentioned about Recom Jake being captured by the Na'vi. Just something about how he'd be putting on his best performance for them, all Loki stuck in a glass cage style or something, knowing oJake is freaked the hell out by him and then everything to do with Spider would be such a fucking mess. And good God that song is a banger!! (I am now listening to it on repeat as well while writing haha) I'm notoriously shit with creating summaries on the spot so apologies for not being able to make one up :'') 

48) Imprisonment. Bottom line, I don't know if that's a trope per se? But a character, specifically the protagonist or the biggest baddie of the fandom getting mind-breaked in a cell I pretty much write for every fandom I have ever been in and probably will continue to do so. 

49) Warrior Cats Truth or Dare on FFnet, it was a crackfic that had me dying laughing as a kid I remember reading it every night before bed in elementary school. Very fun, and it is why I love a good crackfic to this day

[anghraine]

This is unnecessarily long, but: I was just thinking about Wickham's predation on fifteen-year-old Georgiana Darcy and then, almost exactly a year later, Wickham's predation on sixteen-year-old Lydia Bennet.

There are obvious parallels between the two incidents. In fact, they're so obvious that I think the incidents are sometimes treated as equivalent, with the consequences only differing by happenstance. I don't think that's true, personally.

There are some mechanistic sort of differences—Wickham put a lot more effort and planning into the Georgiana situation. He wanted to marry her for her money and to make her brother suffer. She had to be isolated from people who would look out for her interests, he had Mrs Younge in place, he had known Georgiana as a child and was able to exploit his own previous kindness to her as her father's godson, etc.

And Georgiana, despite all of this, and despite being swept away by a teenage infatuation with an extremely attractive man, was still uncomfortable with it. She was worried about disappointing a brother who raised her and whom she deeply loves and admires. When her brother actually showed up by surprise, she decided to tell him everything; Darcy takes pains to give her credit for this. Adaptations generally downplay Georgiana's active decision-making here, but the only element of chance is Darcy deciding to go to Ramsgate at all. He insists that he was only able to act because Georgiana chose to tell him what was going on.

This isn't meant to be an indictment of Lydia, though. Does she admire the parents who raised her? No. But why would she? Especially why would she admire a father who treats her mother and sisters and herself with profound contempt and no sense of responsibility? Why would she ever confide in him?

It's not like Lydia doesn't confide in anyone. In fact, she too confides in an older sibling, her sister Kitty. And in one sense, her trust in Kitty is not undeserved. Kitty does keep the secret. Presumably, she does this because, despite her occasional annoyance with Lydia, she is very much under her influence and goes along with whatever Lydia does. Regardless, she is trustworthy in that sense. Moreover, we see at the end of the book that Kitty is easily improved by being placed in better environments and taught how to behave. She just didn't know better.

How was she going to judge Lydia's situation correctly? Who was teaching her to judge anything correctly? Certainly not their parents.

If Mr Bennet had bothered to interest himself in his younger daughters and try and influence them for the better, impressionable Kitty is probably the one who would have benefited the most. The whole Lydia/Wickham thing would have fallen apart before it went anywhere if all the girls had been been properly raised, even if Lydia did exactly the same things.

And Lydia likely wouldn't do the same things if she'd been brought up properly and, you know, treated with a baseline of respect rather than being openly mocked by her father, the person most able to affect her development. Instead, at barely sixteen, she's been continually rejected by her father, over-indulged by her mother, and flattered by adult men (28-y-o Darcy says he and Wickham are nearly the same age). And she still tells someone what's going on, even though she doesn't care about her parents' opinions or the consequences of her actions. And she was under the protection of a colonel and his wife at the time, who also could have told someone or acted, and didn't.

It's not that nobody could have done anything about the Lydia/Wickham situation. It's that nobody did until Darcy found out and tried to extract her. But it was, in one sense, too late. To Lydia, he's just some unfun acquaintance who says boring things like "go home to your family and I'll do what I can to cover for you." That is, he tries to do what he did for Georgiana.

But Lydia is not Georgiana—she did not choose to tell him about any of this. She did not want to be extracted because she didn't know and couldn't be quickly made to understand what marriage to Wickham would mean in the long term. And she didn't care what her family thought because she had no reason to, pragmatically or psychologically.

Georgiana, otoh, did care about her family's welfare and the good opinion and affection of the head of her family. But despite their radical differences in personality, the most fundamental difference between the girls IMO is that Georgiana had every reason to believe that disappointing Darcy and losing his respect would be a change from the norm.

Normally he is affectionate and attentive towards her. They write each other long letters, he defends her to other family members, and praises her frequently. Georgiana, quiet and intimidated though she may be, talks more when he's around. Disappointing him had actual stakes for her.

Put another way, the potential loss of his good opinion mattered to her because he's gone to the trouble of raising her as well as he can and forming a good relationship with her. She chose to tell Darcy the whole thing because he had earned her affection and trust in a way that Mr Bennet has utterly failed to do. Even Darcy happening to visit Georgiana at Ramsgate comes from his affection and attention to Georgiana's welfare, even if he couldn't have known what would follow from checking on his sister at that particular moment.

Chance is always part of life, and it's part of the novel and these situations. But a lot of how these scenarios wound out was not determined by chance but by long-existing patterns in these girls' educations and relationships.

[cozymoko]

Welcome back I was wonder if you could do a platonic yandere mukami's/sakamaki x like 13 y/o human sib that's yuis sibling and they're just like this is mine now

STEALING YUI'S SIBLING — PLATONIC YANDERE SAKAMAKIS

Note: Thank you.

Pairing: Platonic! Sakamaki brothers (separate) x gn! reader

Format: Headcanons

WARNING(S): Yandere themes, unhealthy, not proofread

Want more Diabolik lovers? → Masterlist! ★

SHU SAKAMAKI

Shu could not remember when he had grown so fond of you. A mortal sibling of hers, nonetheless. Shu his ponder his tenderness toward you, as there was nothing truly riveting about you on the surface. In his mind, you were a child and nothing more. An annoying, human child who can't help but stick close to its twice as annoying sister. But somehow your childishness weaseled its way into his cold heart.

He found his actions quite humorous, much like right now. Long, slender fingers glided along the pianos' smooth keys in fluid motions as though it was second nature. You rocked back and forth to the music, silently cheering for the vampire. A cold hand was placed on your head after the last keys were brushed, and instinctively you look to the culprit. Shu snorted, gazing back into your round eyes. It's decided, he will watch over your forever.

“Another one? Haah, just how needy can you be? Sit back down, I didn't say I wouldn't do it. Now, listen closely and try to keep up.”

REIJI SAKAMAKI

As a companion of the sacrificial bride, Reiji believes it's only fair that he treats you with the same respect he gives your sister. Which may or not be good or bad, it's a mere matter of opinion. Reji makes sure you are well-fed and up to date on all your homework and other responsibilities as asked of him. He initially had no desire to do anything more. But when proposed such innocent curiosity about his "work" how could he deny you?

Reiji often tasks you with lengthy assignments to ensure you don’t grow too close to others in the manor. It’s truly a shame that you happen to be the sibling of Yui, he’d much rather take her place if the opportunity presented itself. To say he’s a little envious of how reliant you are on the mortal woman is an understatement. Seething with envy would be a better description. Just put all your trust in him and perhaps he'll become more lenient with you!

“Have you completed all your duties for today? Not yet...I see. Do not deter from your responsibilities like that frivolous sister of yours, you have far more potential than you think."

AYATO SAKAMAKI

Unlike the others, Ayato is very easy to please. A few shots to his ego will do just the trick. Even as a juvenile, the vampire was very weak to praise; but when it comes from a kid it makes him swell with pride because ultimately, kids don't lie. Don't be surprised if he looks to you for validation at times, not even you are safe from his evolving ego.

When was the last time you hung out with Yui? Geez, you could not recall. Most of your days were spent with Ayato, busying yourself with whatever caught your attention. However, everything had its ups and downs. Every time you didn't acknowledge him, he'd throw a fit, demanding to know who could possibly replace him. Or even pestering you about the time you spent with his brothers instead of him. But who were you to complain? Free Takoyaki for you.

“The hell’re you talkin’ about him for? You’re in the presence of ‘yours truly’ so start actin’ like it. Tch, I’m better than all of them anyways!”

KANATO SAKAMAKI

Loud, whiny humans do not interest him in the slightest; and that's exactly what kids are. But you were different. You were somewhat whiny, like any young teenager, but not to an overwhelming extent. With your age you had the potential to be the perfect doll, and Kanato wasn't going to let such a perfect opportunity slip through his fingers.

You glared daggers at the back of Kanato's head in hopes of evoking a reaction. Your body was tightly constrained by these horrid fabrics many called clothes. Kanato, of course, paid you no mind, ruffling through the array of clothing he had designed just for you. You scowled at his blatant ignorance, tempted to strip the intricate fabrics that hindered you, but you refrained from doing so. After all, Kanato wasn't being too insufferable at the moment.

“Don’t move or you’ll rip it! You wouldn't want all my hard work to go to waste, would you? Fufu, good, now stand still and wait for me to finish.”

LAITO SAKAMAKI

Since the beginning, Laito had always been kind to you, though it wasn't always genuine. He only had an interest in your sister thus a middle schooler had hardly captured his attention. But you were different, somehow. Before he knew it, Laito was listening to you ramble about your day. Even sharing some meaningless advice, that you could've honestly gone without, solely to get a reaction out of you.

The sun had just barely met the horizon, signaling morning was upon you. Your cheek was pressed flat against the vampire's lean back, dazed and hardly awake. His hands were gently hooked under your legs as he busied himself with a heedless tune. Your snores brought him comfort, though they were loud. He should honestly thank you for your existence because for once, Laito finally felt like an older brother.

“My, what a heavy sleeper. Dragging me all the way out here just to be carried home. How cute~! I hope you don't rely on the others like this.”

SUBARU SAKAMAKI

It's likely that you somehow took interest in this ill-tempered vampire so you decided to tag along with him. Subaru was charged as your guardian and he was anything but pleased. Nonetheless, he did his job, from picking you up from school to treating you to your favorite cafes. Even growing rather protective along the way. At this point, he's more of your brother than Yui is your sister! One could even say he's arguably calmer than before you arrived.

You stood outside the school doors, waiting patiently for someone, anyone's arrival. The weather was especially chilly that day, nipping at the tips of your fingers. As if someone read your mind, a familiar man with ashen-colored hair was coming your way. His arms snaked protectively around your shoulders as he lightly tugged you to his chest. His heart was pounding at an alarming rate as he quietly sighed in relief. And despite the coolness of his touch, you were warm. Happy and oh so very warm.

“Oi, where's the kid? Ha, what do you mean 'at school' who dropped 'em off? That's my job damnit—! Tch, forget it; dont even think about pickin' 'em up either, I'll do it. ”

[milkywaydrinker]

Day 22. Time travel

I hate time travel as a plot device. It makes no sense half of the time. The other half of the time it just makes everything needlessly convoluted. I haven't seen a time travel plot done well outside of very niche, high-concept sci-fi. Anyways, have two people who are the same person but are almost nothing alike anymore yell at each other.

The graves were symbolic. Of course, she knew where all of their bodies were; she had that chronicled. When you're the one to outlive them all you get a choice: forget or carry a piece of each and every one of them with you at all times.

“Another year, you aren’t missing much Barney, nothing ever changes.” "Oh man, so that's how it goes huh? Immortality really is a bummer." A familiar voice came out of nowhere, startling her. Her magic ignited in one palm while the other reached for the grip of her rapier. "How did I get jumpier with age? Are you somehow more stressed now than in high school?" The person behind her was herself. The other Norma looked at her with a critical eye. "So it's true you don't grow much after puberty." She sounded disappointed. "Hey." Looking at herself, or rather, at a version of herself she'd considered dead and gone, was a bit shocking. "What the fuck?" "Long story, I think we're currently destroying multiple timelines actually." She seemed pretty cool with that. Okay, so that wasn't exactly "her". It should've been obvious from the start. They wouldn't have been able to interact in this way unless… "You're doing something very stupid and very dangerous." "I know." "Do you now? You can't jump forward without derailing your original timeline, you can't just hop over to the next fork and pretend it's fine!" Even in her own reckless youth, she'd never reached this level of unhinged. Starting a multiplanar war was nothing in comparison to whatever this brat was doing. "I never said it was fine." The kid huffed. "We're combing through the splits to find the one where the world doesn't end. We want to see how the other versions of us prevented it and copy their solution." "That's the most creative way of admitting you ran out of ideas I've ever heard." She was beginning to lose patience. "Sometimes everything goes to shit and there's no way of fixing it. Burying hundreds of other timelines under your misery is beyond selfish." "You don't get to talk to me about selfishness." She almost spat that sentence out. "You're a vampire, there's no way you haven't done stuff you regret." What a cheap gotcha, they really were from completely different worlds. "Go back home, Norma. Exactly a second after you left. Every moment you aren't in the stream of your timeline you create a split. Go back and figure your problems out." She turned away to face the graves again.

Time is unforgiving, and while its nature isn't exactly linear, the cause-and-effect chains bind everyone and everything in the moment. Pulling one element out inevitably unravels the whole structure, breaks it down, and creates paradoxes. Nothing good ever came from time travel. "This timeline isn't a total mess." "I told you to go home." "No. I need to ask you something first." The gravel crunched under her combat boots as she approached. "How did you do it?" "I'm not letting you copy my homework." This was what having a younger sibling must have been like. Poor Ana. "Just tell me how to save the world and you'll never see me again." "No, but if I tell you how I've done it, you'll be seeing me sooner than you'd like."

[poguestvff]

LIKE A BIG SISTER SHOULD — WHEEZIE CAMERON

in which wheezie cameron finds that blood doesn’t make you family, love and affection does.

taglist | masterlist | 2.5k words | @pogueslandia ,

warning(s): food, she/her pronouns, ward slander, a little sarah slander but that’d include reading between the lines. why’d this make me want to make a series of reader and Wheezie being best friends.

There's always been a heavy feeling of loneliness that rested upon the youngest cameron's shoulders, weighing her down as it seemed to pile over the years. Her siblings were always older, an age gap between them that even if it was shortened by a few years, their worlds would still be two different things. All three of them were in three different stages of life yet somehow it felt like Wheezie wasn't even there at times.

Throughout the entirety of her schooling career so far, everything had somehow been about Rafe and Sarah. Sarah was the perfect one; the paragon who could do no wrong. Even if Sarah tried to disobey, it'd be turned around to be made out as a minute mistake. She'd probably be able to get away with it a second time if she did it a different way. Maybe the same way.

Rafe was quite the opposite. The bastard child who needed a plentiful amount of attention in hopes he can be more like the paragon. With all this attention, his head only grew. It never gave him the space for growth. It minimized the space to stay exactly where he was for years on end.

This left Wheezie to be the ostracized sibling. She wasn't a social butterfly or a poster child like Sarah and she definitely wasn't a loner or the 'damaged goods' child like Rafe. She was just... average. With average grades and an average personality. Just average old Wheezie. She told herself this consistently, watching her father balance his attention between making sure Rafe stayed between the lines he'd drawn for him in a radius such as a dart board and allowing Sarah step out of them, even erasing some of the lines so she could walk on by them without a second thought.

But Wheezie was stuck in that tiny little circle in the middle, the bullseye as if scared to move out of those lines. The one place that was the hardest to pinpoint specifically by her father. But there was one thing Ward Cameron always said correct about his younger daughter. That he wouldn't be able to pin point his little dart of control into the middle of the board because she was misunderstood and misunderstood she was.

Though one person had been able to pick up on every single one of Wheezie's emotions.

Y/n Y/L/N was a pogue who had done tutoring on the side for a little extra money and when John B had recommended Y/n for help with Wheezie's homework, Ward was quick to say okay. He hardly even asked a thing about Y/n, just telling her to help Wheezie pass eighth grade and that was all. It was made very apparent to Y/n that was Wheezie was not as much of a priority to Ward as other things were.

Their first tutoring session, Wheezie was awfully dismissive. She didn't care for any of Y/n's efforts as they sat within the comfort of Wheezie's bedroom. She just wanted the entire hour to be over with the second she'd entered her room but Y/n was insistent, knowing that by the end of the school year she would have something instilled in Wheezie's brain. She just didn't know what that something was yet.

The second time they met, Y/n was more passive aggressive in hopes of breaking down the brick walls Wheezie had stored between her and everyone else in hopes of not disappointing them like the way she thought she'd disappointed her father. Y/n sat her down in her desk chair, swiveling her chair to her as she rested her hands on the younger girls shoulders. "You are going to have a really awkward couple of weeks if you and i don't become friends so no work today. We're playing 20 questions."

That night, Y/n learned a lot about Wheezie Cameron that she never thought she'd learned. Wheezie hated the color purple, she just painted her room that color because Sarah liked that color. Wheezie loved to paint and to draw, it was her favorite activity, she just rarely showed it bevause she hadn't believed in herself. Though, when she showed Y/n the canvas' that were shoved at the back of the closet, Y/n marveled at them. But Y/n's favorite fact, and the same one that almost made her hug Wheezie on the spot, was that she was never taught to swim and Y/n made her a promise that she would teach her.

As the weeks went by, Wheezie waiting anticipatingly for Y/n's beaten down, green ford bronco to pull up on the driveway and she'd leave the house with a giant smile on her face. It’d be early in the morning, a little less than an hour until school started, just like how Wheezie liked. She'd jump in the driver seat, embracing the smell of vanilla from the scented item hanging from the rear view mirror. She’d toss her bag to the back as Y/n would ruffle her hair, just like she had every morning. "And beloved was set in... late 1856!" Wheezie answered excitedly as Y/n drove down the final street towards her school after the two had gotten breakfast together.

"Perfect! You're gonna do so good on your test, Wheeze, I promise." Y/n told her ecstatically as she pulled into a parking space. Just before Wheezie could get out, Y/n held her upper arm just to gain her attention before she got out. "Tell Rose she doesn't have to get you after school. I'll leave school early and you and I are having a girls day. No studying, just me, you and a shit ton of sweets."

Wheezie smiled, she could feel the muscles in her jaw begin to hurt from how wide she had. She tilted her head to the side out of curiosity, eyeing the look of excitement on Y/n's face. "But why?"

Y/n shrugged, adjusting in her seat and fixing her rear view mirror. "Cause, you deserve it. I'm so proud of you, Little W." She told her, looking back towards the girl and seeing her smile slightly drop. "You okay?"

Wheezie couldn't remember a time where she was genuinely told that. Yeah, sure, Ward said it a few times but it'd be in a lousy tone before he'd wave her off, saying he was busy with whatever office work he had to attend to. Sarah may have said it a few times but it was rushed before she'd run after her friends with a quick goodbye to Wheeze, leaving her alone in the sand. It was never sincere. Not in the way Y/n had said it.

She rubbed her hands against her jean clad thighs with a sharp breath before nodding. “Yeah. I've just never really been told that before. Like—Like genuinely." She said, lowly, in hopes Y/n would understand and wouldn't push it.

Y/n had known Wheezie long enough to know her tells and avoiding eye contact was one of the biggest ones. So she didn't indulge further in the conversation, brushing it under the rug but knowing she'd have to go diving back in for that little tidbit later on. Instead she wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a tight hug from over the console. "I'll tell you i'm proud of you everyday if i have to." Y/n muttered before kissing the top of her head. "Now go, if you're late to first period, your dad will kill me." And Wheezie was able to leave the car with a smile on her face, already looking forward to the day planned later on.

Y/n was overall consistent, it was one thing Wheezie enjoyed knowing that when she made promises she tried to keep them as best as she could. Sometimes things slipped her mind but Wheezie could recognize that Y/n didn't forget a thing when it came to Wheezie. Like she made sure to engrave bits and pieces of her into her mind like a data chart. But it showed she cared and that was enough for Wheezie.

Y/n cared enough that when she entered her car after school, the smell of her favorite cinnabon's filled the car that made her look in the backseat, seeing a picnic basket. There wasn't a chance, right? You could only get them on the mainland. She turned her body swiftly towards the elder girl who sat with a smirk on her face. "You didn't?"

"I did. Second I left fourth period, got on a ferry just for you to have those overly sweet treats." Y/n said, tapping her nose with a 'boop'! "And I almost got stuck on the mainland because of it so you better enjoy the hell out of them."

"I will, I promise." Wheezie said dramatically as Y/n smiled, pulling out of the parking space to head down to the beach. Wheezie had said she didn't have a bathing suit, not prepared for the outing, though Y/n already said she had ransacked her room for clothes for after. Y/n was the only person allowed in Wheezie Cameron's room without Wheezie being there and the elder girl took pride in it.

As Y/n set up their small area for the few hours, she noticed Wheezie standing just where the water and the sand met. She kicked around the water with clear disinterest causing Y/n to huff, hands on her hips, before tossing off her hoodie to get in. The splash she'd made by pushing herself into the water made Wheezie jump, a laugh falling from the two's lips. "Come on." Y/n said, standing and holding her hands out to Wheezie.

"Y/n/n, I can't swim."

"Y/n/n I can't swim, well, obvi, i know that, little W. But, you have your amazing best friend to keep you afloat. I won't let you go, i swear." Y/n said, holding up her pinky.

"Swear?"

"On my life." She reassured with a trusting smile before Wheezie walked further in. When the water had gotten to her above her waist, it'd freaked her out a bit though Y/n talked her through it, coaxing her further in slowly. Wheezie was kept above the water as Y/n held her hands as the buoyancy was used to their advantage. "See, not as bad as you thought?"

Wheezie shook her head though still nervous. "Not as bad, not my thing though."

"Why don't we try actually swimming? I won't force you if you don't want to and we can get back to shore right now but maybe just try?" She asked as Wheezie had to think about it for a moment. She almost felt guilty, remembing just a few months ago when Sarah had asked her if she could teach her but she refused. Though maybe, just maybe, it was because of Y/n being a bit more trust worthy that Wheezie said yes this time.

It took a while, Wheezie was frightened by letting go even as Y/n would say she was okay. Wheezie would tighten her grip on her shoulders before trying again and again until she eventually got it. She finally was able to keep herself above the water without flailing, recognizing that she was okay. Y/n cheered as she watched, not caring for the stares of others around them. "See, dude? You just have to start applying yourself! You did it!"

"I did it!" Wheezie said as Y/n hugged her, the two laughing before Wheezie screamed making Y/n's laughter die fast. "Something touched me!"

"Wheeze, it was seaweed." Y/n said softly before turning and letting her place her hands on her shoulders. "Yeah let's get you out of here before a jellyfish gets you."

Wheezie widened her eyes. "Jellyfish?"

As the sun had began to set and people had packed up their things and left, Y/n and Wheezie stayed. Wheezie was on her fourth doughy treat, even though Y/n told her to slow down two treats ago. Towels were wrapped around each of their shoulders as they watched the pretty colors fade in to one another, a mixture of pink, blue and orange array of colors combining to make a cotton candy sky. Wheezie watched as Y/n got up, accepting a phone call from Ward, the only phone call she hadn't silenced since they'd left the car.

In the time she'd left, Wheezie took advantage of it to recognize how appreciative she was of all that Y/n was doing for her. She came in as a tutor and, to Wheezie, was to stay as a friend. As family. Wheezie was more then ecstatic to have someone who would be there to rant and rave about the other Cameron's, someone she could trust with her secrets and the contents of her always running brain. Someone who was just there.

"Hey, your father would like us back in thirty so we should leave in ten." She said coming back and sitting beside Wheezie as she caught sight of her face, the lack of the smile that was there previously concerning her. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing, really. Just... I really enjoyed today, Y/n. It really lets me know you're not just here for like... like the money or something."

Y/n let out a scoff. "Are you kidding? I enjoy nothing more than watching you freak out over the existence of jellyfish." She joked as Wheezie pushed her to the side with a laugh. Y/n recovered, letting out a content sigh as she tossed an arm over Wheezie's shoulders. "You're stuck with me now, Wheezes. Can't wait to record you falling at your next soccer game."

Wheezie couldn't help the laugh that slipped past her lips, leaning into Y/n's embrace as her head rested against her clavicle. "And I'll be looking for you in the stands, Y/n/n."

Y/n and Wheezie had both found out something about the other that night. Wheezie found that she didn't want to be like Sarah and she was glad she wasn't like Rafe. She was content with her own little circle on the dart board but maybe she could take a bit after her newest role model. And Y/n found that she was able to instill several things into the youngers mind including To Kill a Mockingbird, Inca Civilizations, and that she now had a true and present big sister to look up to.

[charterandbarter]

End/Start of the year! Means it’s time for an end of year self rec list! If you want.

A top 3-5 list OR rank all the fics you have done this year in a full, completely arbitrary, ranked list of all the ones from this year! Would love to hear your thoughts on your own work :)

!!! BUDDY!!!!!

I didn't do much writing this year (grad apps,,,,why) but I can put some things in a list to kick off a brand new writing season!! So here: top three list of most fun i've had working on a fic this year! 1. Sunset Bridge, part 2 of the mirrors of god series (Persona 5/Death Note crossover, where Akechi was adopted by the Yagamis)

What a series. What an idea. 'Haha Goro Akechi and Light Yagami look the same' we said. 'They could be brothers', we said. 'Wouldn't it be funny if that were a thing', we said. And now we're 10 pages deep in an outline for the ages, both screaming and shaking and sliding down walls as we accidentally write the most Sibling relationship to ever sibling. A hug and a bow to Writeous for your wit, cleverness, and sheer brass balls to smush the Death Note timeline, which is a swiss watch of a thing, with Persona 5, a fucking 100+ hour free choice JRPG, but it has been so much fun writing these guys!! "Why do you resent the fact that you love your family?" and we keep getting different answers every time,,,,man. Man!! i legit cant say too much because godDAMN did we go crazy, but MAN!!!! 2. The Hippocratic Oath (Revised) (the premed!kaneki ken au)

I can't exactly say it was 'fun' to write this so much as it was meaningful to write this fic lol. Tokyo Ghoul was one of my first fandoms (back in...middle school holy shit), and I was chomping at the bit to play off of the anti-martyrdom themes rooting around in the og series for a while. Is it my best work? Debatable. Is it my most well-plotted? Depends on your version of plot. Did I go fucking batshit insane, black out, awaken to a 20pg outline, and subsequently drag Misery Man Kaneki Ken kicking and screaming towards some semblance of a recovery arc by (among other things) making him a STEM major? yes. and i regret none of it, because i tbh needed to write this fucker anyway (changed my major, gender AND sexuality!!! the fuck!!!). aaaaaa the paradox of 'do no harm',,,,,the problem never ends because martyrdom was never the solution from the start,,,,,,,the asymptotic condition we're all saddled with where yeah we're burdens on eachother but that's like cool and shit because it's not about deservin it's about living aaaaa anyway yeah only time i wrote a fic and got knocked flat on my ass into a different career track so yep it goes on here! i also decided to make every chapter 10k like a fool, so pray for me. oh vocaloid-stan kaneki we're really in it now,,,, 3. Flock Together (Persona 5/BNHA, an Akechi-in-BNHA au)

I have nothing big about this fic. It's fun to write a dumbass getting jumpscared by a child. Man makes One (1) good decision and is now a Babysitter. The child being Babysat is also ready and willing to throat-punch people. i cannot stress enough that I am writing this fic to make Eri go fucking insane, and for every chapter I post there are three scenes of eri just going fucking bonkers hitting kneecaps, swearing, and doing normal girl things like reminding people to wash their money because 'money laundering' is v important. stress ball fic thank GOD. don't worry about the plot shhhhhh i dont have plot dont worrrry about it-- but yeah!!! That’s my top three most fun fics this year!!!!!!! i’d like to @yellowocaballero, @ragnarokascendant and @bitemeilovewaffles to reply to this ask, if willing and able! lets celebrate what  we’ve made and make room for more to come!!

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW ..dysfunctional family relations? not sure how else to describe it lol

I guess I'm looking for reassurance? someone to listen? answers? im not exactly sure

so i have PTSD from. a lot of different things so i know what flashbacks are and i know what triggers are. i recognize them ok? but i don't understand why i keep getting triggered by my brother. for clarity, we don't talk: we live in the same house but he's very transphobic and an asshole, so i stopped speaking to him. but he's still around all the time.

and it triggers me! even when he's not saying transphobic things, hearing his voice triggers me sometimes. i don't understand why, like, it's not even like that's targeted towards ME, he's just generally a bigoted ass. but what's really bothering me is that there was a thing that happened:

he was being really mean to my little sibling. and he does shit like that sometimes, he targets me, or one of my little siblings and he generally treats them like shit. and i knew if i spoke up in the midst of it, he'd be mad. but i did anyone. and he was. really mean so i told my mom. she said she'd speak to him about it.

anyways, long story short, there was a family emergency and my mom left. my sibling was distraught over the emergency and my brother decided that was a great evening to totally tear into her. i mean-telling her HORRIBLE shit. she just wanted one of our dogs to sit with her but he started yelling at her about how she always wanted everything, how she was such a pest and all this shit and i couldn't BREATHE. he'd done shit like that to me before but never this bad with my little sibling.

so i did the first thing i knew would snap him out of it so i could get my sibling away: i told him to fuck the hell off. which of course shocked everyone but then i could get my sibling away. i was so fucking scared-my dad was home, my older sisters too and none of them did ANYTHING. they could hear him yelling but just ignored it. he was so mad, he started saying all this shit about me and i left the room but then ii had a panic attack for like, literal HOURS, i couldn't sleep because i couldn't BREATHE and he kept talking really loudly near my room so i could hear how mad he was and then, to top it all off, i got in trouble for using a curseword and he didn't even get told off.

but i keep getting flashbacks to it. even though he wasn't even targeting me in the first place and yknow its over now and its done and like, ok he's an ass but that's how siblings ARE sometimes right? i mean. i'd never do that obviously bc that's horrible!! he's like 26 and my sibling is 12. i wouldn't do it even without the age gap in mind but fdshajklfhdajkl i'm just trying to ask 1. why tf am i getting flashbacks and 2. am i just? being crazy over this??? is this just some totally normal thing i just. dont understand or is this something actually fucked up that my parents just dont give a fuck over? tnx

(-luci)

Hi luci,

I'm so sorry you went through this.

Please know that what happened is not okay. It sounds like your family normalizes and enables his behavior.

You even said yourself that you would never do these things because it would be a horrible thing to do. So it sounds like on some level you know that this isn't just "how siblings are sometimes". While you're definitely not alone, it doesn't mean that it's okay for your brother to behave this way. Accountability is still necessary to encourage growth, and this sounds like something your parents may not see.

The way you responded to the situation does not sound disproportionate to the situation, despite how your parents made it seem. The fact that your family simply ignored him implies that this may be a pattern for your brother and your family has developed a learned helplessness. I say this primarily because, even if reacting may exacerbate his anger, it seems more natural to react than ignoring it.

It makes sense if this was a traumatizing experience for you. It can be scary to be in a situation like that. You're not being crazy over this. This is something your parents aren't taking seriously enough.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[stopbeingrude]

Hi guys. Happy Gruvia/ Greige day. I wish all of you wonderful time.

That's gonna be the first one shot , i have ever published here, feedback is welcome. I hope It's not that bad and you'll somehow like it lmao.

,,I think I would rather have a plushie as a Christmas gift…., but I guess I shouldn't be too picky."

-Dad? - called 6-year-old Greige, on one December afternoon, when both him and his father were decorating a christmas-tree in the living room . December 24th was slowly approaching. It was Greige's favorite time of the year , because he was able to spend Christmas with all of his family, including all of his uncles , aunts and friends. Not forgetting about grandpa Makarov . Even Uncle Gildards would show up, bringing something for the kids. -I was wondering what would happen if Santa's reindeer suddenly wanted to pee while flying?- asked seriously little boy. No one wanted to tell him that. When he asked big bro Romeo , he just started laughing and then he called him silly. "How could he do that?" -thought heartbroken Greige after. -Heh , where did that come from? ... you know ... they'd have to stop somewhere by, right? Daddy doesn't know much about it- said Gray, trying to keep himself from laughing. He couldn't laugh, he knew it would offend his little angel. Their son hated when someone made fun of him . After all, he was already a big boy, and everyone knows that such must be taken seriously. - So maybe Mommy knows? I will go and ask her,- said the little boy, putting down Christmas decorations . Speaking of mom, he had recently noticed his mother's strange behavior. She had been getting tired very easily lately, she often took naps. He also noticed that she spent an enormous amount of time sewing ,mostly clothing. Well.. he was aware of his mom's hobby, but usually it was limited to sewing plushies, sometimes socks or fixing their clothes. - You know, I don't think mommy knows more than me - said Gray after hanging the last Christmas-ball. - Besides, you know that mommy is sleeping now, right? She hasn't been feeling well lately, so she mustn't be disturbed. Something was off, even Daddy acts differently- thought little Fullbuster Now, that got the boy worried. - Is something wrong with Mommy? - asked slowly Greige He loved Mommy and Daddy most in the world and the very thought of them suffering hurt him deeply. "No, I won't start crying…Boys my age don't do that..." He had often been told that he should stop being such a crybaby (mostly by Yajeh or Nasha . Shutora would never. She was always trying her best to cheer him up,while reminding her twin and little Dragneel that if they won't stop with this stupid teasing, she would make sure both of them would regret it later). Unfortunately Greige could not help it. Whenever someone was hurt or something went wrong, he would usually cry. Turns out he inherited his mom's sensitivity... "Mommy…..something was definitely wrong with her.." The thought of something happening to his dear Mom filled him with great terror once again. He started shaking What if she's ill, or even worse..she's gonna….. "No , no , that's not possible..." - he shook his little head full of dark , curly hair. - I'm overreacting, just like Yajeh told me - No, no.. don't worry, Greige, Mommy's fine, it's nothing serious,"-Gray said quickly, trying his best to calm his son down, giving him a hug and then kissing him on forehead He knew exactly what was going on with his beloved, in fact, when an excited Juvia came back home one evening and informed him of the pregnancy, he was overjoyed. Soon he will be holding his son or daughter in his arms. Then it hit him. The baby might turn out to be a girl, and Gray had no idea how to take care of girls...Dear God….Ok ,ok.. he still has plenty of time to learn. He can always ask Gajeel about it..yes Gajeel or Alzack...even Elfman ( he would never ask Natsu, even if he's life depended on it, that would be too humiliating for him). Wait...it wasn't his top priority right now. After all, he needs to inform his son about the news first. Neither of them was quite sure how to do it. They remembered very well the situation from a few months ago when the Redfox twins got into an argument. Horrified, Greige stated that being an only child is not that bad, since having siblings meant constant war. Although being honest , Greige never

directly told them that he hates the idea of having a sibling . Considering how much time he spent with Nasha and Elfman and Ever's daughter Ember, or year-old Reiki Fernandes, it would seem that he's perfect for the big brother role. Besides, they can't hide it forever, sooner or later he would notice Juvia's belly. However, the biggest concern for Fullbuster was the fact that such news could lead to a longer conversation, which again could lead to uncomfortable questions that Gray was not ready to answer. He is not going to tell his son about the birds and the bees. No, no, hell no… None of them are ready for this! "Come on Gray, what's wrong with you, you just have to tell him. You've been in worse situations….after all, you've fought with all sorts of criminals, weirdos and monsters ,compared to what you've been through, it's nothing''- thought the ice mage But how to start such a conversation? How about …. -Hey Greige, have you written a letter to Santa yet? "Yes, just ask him what he wants for Christmas and make a few innocent suggestions." -Oh no i didn't, thank you for reminding me Dad. - And tell Daddy, what would you like to ask Santa for? The boy was silent for a moment, most likely to think about the answer, but after a while he called out in a loud voice. -I'D LIKE TO ASK HIM FOR PEACE IN THE WORLD AND FOR EVERY POOR PERSON TO GET A BETTER LIFE AND FOR EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY!..... It would also be nice to get a new plushie……but it's not as important. Do you think Santa can do that?-he asked hopefully Gray stood there for a moment, stunned. His baby was truly an angel...wishing happiness upon the entire world, it nearly made him tear up…. but no... he needed to explain to his son that he should wish for something more....... attainable. -Ooh... really..that's....very nice of you, but...I think that such a wish...yym...takes a bit of time and Santa w-won't be able to do it…., why don't you ask him for….. for example a toy like a teddy bear, figurines....or new books or something else...I don't know.......sibling?... Greige looked at him, like he had just proposed to him to take a walk on the rooftop. Where did that come from? What is dad talking about? S-sibling...?? -Sibling? You mean like a little brother or sister? A baby?- asked the little boy loudly. -Yes, that's exactly what I meant, but well you'll need to wait for a while, because it takes time for a baby to….be ready.- mumbled out Gray - So that's not really a Christmas present- stated boy still visibly shocked -...Well y-yes , but... -But didn't you say mommy has been feeling unwell lately?...If we had a baby, wouldn't it be tiring for her?....Besides, do you think we need a new baby? - asked seriously Greige Why would they need a baby? They were living happily in this house , just three of them. It's not like he dislikes babies , they're cute and all…..but it's just simply weird.. -Well... I wouldn't say it's necessary , but it would be nice to have one at home.. don't you think?....- asked his dad Maybe? -And don't worry about mommy, I am sure that she will be so happy with the new baby , it will make her feel better.- stated Gray , this time with a smile -Hello my darlings- Juvia's voice said suddenly They both turned their heads toward the bedroom's door, finding Juvia's tired but smiling face there. Greige quickly got up and ran toward his mother. -Mommy, are you feeling better? Do you need anything?- said the little boy, hugging her legs. Juvia kissed her son's cheek. -Hi sweetheart, Mommy is fine- she answered while taking a seat next to her precious Gray, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. -Did I hear you talking about babies?- Juvia asked, pretending to be surprised, while giving Gray a tiny smirk. - Daddy said it would be nice to have a baby and that it would make you feel better... - he began. - I don't think a baby is necessary, because it would be a little strange that there will be more of us in the house, but if you really wish for one ,then that's fine with me. -Really? Mommy's glad to hear that.-

replied a happy Juvia , giving her husband a big smile. Gray gave her the same smile, but just when he thought everything had been taken care of, there came the soft voice of his baby boy. - Mommy....Daddy...but you won't love the baby more than me, will you? - asked Greige, with his head lowered and tears in his dark eyes. Both Gray and Juvia stood there very surprised, neither of them had even thought of such a scenario. -Greige, what makes you think that?- asked older Fullbuster. -Sunshine, no...- Juvia hugged her son quickly- You mustn't think like that, we would never stop loving you. Remember darling, parents love all their children equally. - You know, its true that we'll have to spend a lot of time taking care of your brother or sister, but you have to remember that they won't be able to do anything on their own. You were like that when you were born too.- said Gray - I'm sorry. I won't do that again- said Greige seriously. -Do you think I offended the baby? I don't want the baby to think I don't want him or her,- said the terrified boy .What if the baby will always remember this and he will never be forgiven. - Don't worry, honey, I'm sure she won't mind,- said the water mage, stroking her belly. -She?-Gray thought. Turns out his wife wasn't telling him everything... -Wait a minute! -said suddenly Greige after a moment of silence -The baby will be in the tummy, just like Reiki was in Auntie Erza's , right? - Well baby is already there, but your right - answered Gray -Daddy? - Yes buddy ? - How did it get there? Shit. -Yyyy… Horrified, Gray turned his gaze to his wife, silently pleading for help. -You know what, angel? It's almost 8pm, I think it's time for you to take a bath, okay?- proposed Juvia, saving her husband from very uncomfortable talk. - Ok Mommy. Will you read me a bedtime story after we finish? - Of course They were already moving towards the bathroom when Juvia quickly turned towards her husband, gave him a kiss on the cheek and whispered : -You're welcome. Has Gray already mentioned how much he loved his wife?

Bonus!:

( ok I swear it was funnier in my head...Once again Happy Gruvia day !!!)

[angrylizardjacket]

it's in the blood // this is tradition

Summary: Children inherit all sorts of traits from their parents. Not all these traits are good.

"My reputation preceded me before I was born."

[ charlotte & lola au ]

A/N: 2292 words. Halsey's new album killed me on the spot. i talk a lot about the next gen being mirrors of their parents, but i'd like to go into detail about that not necessarily being a positive. @misscharlottelee this made me feel things. i love these kids.

Warnings: overdose mention, addiction discussion, mentions of drug abuse.

Penelope Dingley-Lee

Tommy can count the amount of times he'd seen Razzle truly angry on one hand, and here and now he can see it again, written all over his neice's face. He'd thought she would look like Charlie when she's angry, and occasionally she does, the way her lip curls derisively, dismissively, that's very reminiscent of his cousin, but here and now, her blue eyes are hazy, cloudy, and her lips twist with an irate arrogance that is worryingly familiar.

Angry and high and wearing clothes that don't quite match, in this moment she's exactly her father's daughter.

She's been in the papers again. Her tits have been in magazines again. Tommy bites down on his instinctual desire to repremand her; she'd call him a hypocrite, call him an old man, tell him to keep his opinions to himself while she could still buy his sex tape out of a shady car boot down the street.

Charlie was like that too, on occasion, wit too quick for him to keep up with. When she got into a mood like this, Tommy didn't have to worry so much; usually Razzle would egg her on, but knew when to pull her back.

"It's my god given, motherfucking right to go feral -" he'd heard Charlie back in the eighties holler at three in the morning, high on amphetamines and waving a gossip rag above her head. Razzle would be on the sofa, equally fucked up, but gazing at her like she hung the stars in the sky.

"Lola gets photographed at least once a month stark naked along the strip like it's a sport, why is my Playboy shoot a national crisis?! My tits are fantastic!"

"They are, my love," Razzle nods seriously, and Tommy pulls his pillow from beneath his head, trying to either block out their voices through the thin walls, or maybe smother himself. The girl beside him, the groupie whose name he doesn't know, asks blearily why there's so much yelling. Tommy doesn't answer.

A week later, Tommy is the one to bail out Charlie and Razzle for public indecency, and they're both beaming from ear to ear.

Here in the present, Penny is draped out on the sofa, laughing low and pleased as she watches TV.

"TMZ blurred out my tits," she snorts, "cowards."

"Penny..." he can't help the faintly disappointed notes in his voice when he says her name.

"Thomas, I've read The Dirt," Penny fires back venemously. Hypocrite he hears in her tone, you have no power over me.

There's something hollow in her eyes in the photos he sees of her in the papers. She wears her father's inflluence and her heart on her crushed velvet sleeve, on the arm of a shallow, pretty, band boy who plays badly and loudly. But she laughs louder, though tthe sound is low and unconvincing if anyone bothered to listen hard enough, and Tommy wonders if he has enough dark hair dye left for when that boy breaks her heart.

Jupiter Lee

Tommy is proud to watch Jupiter on stage, but he is afraid.

Their anger is something he remembers from Lola, the way they cling to the past with vitriol echoes their mother, but on stage, they drink up the attention, get high off the love the audience gives, and he sees himself in those moments.

A child of addicts, Jupiter had drawn lines in the sand for themselves that they refused to cross; no alcohol, no drugs, and they'd stayed loyal to that. But highs come in all forms; they simply picked a different kind of poison without realising.

On stage, halfway between the gutter and a god complex, Tommy knows the smile they wear all too well.

Rebellion from Jupiter didn't shock the world like it did when it was Penny's name in the papers. Jupiter's trajectory was spot on in the eyes of the public, but rebellion wouldn't be the thing that broke them.

Once, so long ago that it's a miracle the memory survived, Tommy remembers asking Lola what she would be doing if she wasn't with the band. Lola gave him an easy, bleary smile, laughing sweetly when she told him that one way or another, she'd be here. In the moment it overwhelms him with love. In hindsight it breaks his heart.

"Come on, I think this is inevitable," Jupiter smiles on television as an interviewer asks them the same question; if they weren't making music what they'd be doing, "as if I'd do anything other than this."

'Don't you know where I come from?' is left unspoken, but Tommy still hears it.

He tries to picture himself in a life without the world at his feet the way he has now. No image comes to mind. Nothing else makes sense. Even if he wanted to do something else, wanted to grow up to be something else, he couldn't even begin to picture it for himself, tragedy and all.

They play their parts. They let history repeat itself. Jupiter makes mistakes Tommy and Lola had already learned from. Penny plays Jupiter's conciousness until the role grates on her nerves, diving head first into chaos, taking Jupiter with her with little convincing.

Tommy remembers this too.

When the world looks at Penny and Jupiter, they like to remember how Lola was seen as a bad influence on Charlotte, but forget that Tommy would have followed Charlotte in to Hell without hesitation.

Leo "Seo" Sixx

Lola has google alerts set up for her son, Seo, because he disappears for months without warning. Tommy asks how he is, and Lola looks to her phone with a tight smile, telling him that he's competeing in a skateboarding competition in Prague. She learned that from Twitter.

Seo comes and goes without warning, and talks to his siblings more than his parents. He loves them, but he hasn't allowed himself to stop for years. He doesn't know how. Then again, neither did Lola or Nikki.

"Jupiter thinks a lot about legacy, don't they?" He's in Tommy's kitchen, eating a poptart, when Tommy returns home one friday evening. He's waiting for Penny and Jupiter to finish getting ready, the three of them going out.

"Do your parents know you're in town?" Tommy asks with faint amusement, though there's a twinge of guilt in his gut when Leo considers that he should probably let them know. Says he forgot. Tommy's not sure if he believes him; like his parents before him, he tends to leave a lot unsaid. It's part of his charm, the world seems to think, but Tommy knows all to well how deliberate of an act it can be.

"Jup's got all this stuff in their head about legacy and who they should be," he continues his earlier thought, "which I guess makes sense, they tie a lot of themselves up in their identity," he shrugs, then, "I don't know Leo."

Tommy's not sure if he's talking about the grandfather he's named after, or himself.

"You've given this a lot of thought," Tommy says quietly, humouring him.

"I think a lot," Seo responds, "I've been thinking about going back on my meds, its weird being off of them." Of course this concerns Tommy, who knows objectively that Seo isn't his kid, but he's close enough that Tommy feels like he's allowed to be concerned. "I'm worried a doctor's note isn't going to be enough to let me compete at the Olympics on speed," falls too casually from Seo's lips, alarming Tommy in an instant. Though it must clearly show on his face, as Seo breaks out into an apologetic grin, "dextroamphetamine, for my ADHD. I've been trying to wean off it for the Olympics, it's been hard -" but his next words, said so blithe, so casual, have Tommy's heart stopping in his chest as he's thrown back thirty years, "I've been on them since I was like eleven years old; it was great, I could think, like the right amount, but now I... I think everything. I feel everything. Its a lot." He shrugs, like he didn't just become an echo of his father.

Seo's parents both died twice from overdoses, and now their son feels like he can't function without amphetamines.

Objectively Tommy knows that they work for Seo, that he's not abusing them he simply uses them to help him function, but the irony is not lost on him. It's a lot to unpack. He doesn't think to ask about the Olympics; it slips his mind until he sees Seo and a silver medal on his Twitter feed.

Lola calls Tommy in tears. She's proud, but she wishes she'd known, wishes she'd been able to watch it live, or go over and support him in person.

No-one in Seo's life seems to fully know or understand his intentions or actions, no-one can predict his next move. He puts up a bright facade, but like his parents before him, he does not trust the world to know him.

They don't know where he goes in the few months after the Olympics, all they know is that he doesn't come home.

Cerie "CerieThree" Sixx

Since she'd turned sixteen, Tommy has never seen Cerie Sixx without a smile. That is a very deliberate choice that she's made.

She's made a choice to rise above the percieved grime of her origins. She's halfway across the country, smiling for a camera she can control, editing her image before she lets it out into the world. Cerie Three - even the name the world knows reflects this; she's picked apart the context she was born into, disecting it, deciding which was useful to show the world, disposing of the rest.

She speaks warmly to her family, from what Tommy can gather, but the people on the peripheries of their life seem more like associates in the coldest sense of the world. Her smile doesn't reach her eyes half the time when she sees Tommy, and she shakes his hand when her brothers will hug him. The internet is closer to her than he is.

Cerie looks the most like her mother of all her siblings; she's 21, the exact same age Lola was when she met Tommy, but half the time he can barely see the resemblence. Lola had let the world see a villain at that age; Cerie had learned from that, had rejected that, rejected the cold, hard humanity of her mother's fronting. Cerie wanted to be perfect. Cerie had to be perfect, hyper aware of her own image, like her siblings seem to be, but the way she'd so effectively shaped her public identity was kind of terrifying.

Perhaps this was what it was like for people who didn't know Lola, only allowed to know the image she put out into the world, or people who only knew Nikki for his stage presence.

But the more Tommy thinks about it, the more he remembers just how effectively Lola had wrapped the band around her little finger when she set her mind to it, how she talked her way around exectives despite being dressed like she'd woken up in the gutter and fucked up on any number of drugs. Lola understood people, and it seemed Cerie did too.

Cerie Sixx, twenty one, doesn't stop creating content, doesn't stop studying, and doesn't stop smiling. Two of those three things are inhereted traits, inhereted determination, and the third is a choice.

Cyrus Sixx

Though Cyrus had inhereted much of his parent's musical talent, the same way Jupiter had, Cyrus had also inhereted a love of the high life. Even so, he's so full of love, kissing his mother on both cheeks before he goes out to get shitfaced in the bars she was decades before he was even born.

He works hard, at his job, on his music, but his partying matches it just as well. He knows exactly how far he has to fall before he meets the depths his parents' had sunk to, and though he doesn't voice this, his arrogance comes across in his actions.

There'd always be someone to pull him away from swan diving to rock bottom. He takes that for granted, and keeps getting closer and closer.

The only one of Nikki and Lola's children who still lives at home, he's the only one like them in the way they'd feared.

"He's going to have more success than he will ever be able to comprehend," Nikki had told Tommy, the day after Cyrus had been admitted to hospital after staying up for four days while high and obsessing over a song he had been working on. Nikki had found him having a fit after having fallen from his desk chair. Now, sitting on Tommy's patio in the sunset, he looks tired, he looks afraid, "if he doesn't end up killing himself first."

A month ago, the fire department and the police had to pull him, kicking and screaming and bareass naked from a tree in the middle of town. His parents had bailed him out, had felt a familiar sting of guilt as they find themselves reminded of their own youthful exploits. They repremand him, of course, but they both know the only reason they stopped climbing trees was because there had been no-one to pick them up after.

Nikki sees himself in his sons mistakes, but he'd had to learn concequences the hard way.

Tommy loves his family and all it's strange branches, as well as their raucous youth, but his closest friends were some of the most volatile people he'd known, and somehow he'd forgotten that as time as taken people and memories from him.

But these children were made in their image.