#if you were wondering yes this is the post I accidentally translated into arabic

[mayasaura]

I'm feeling some kind of a way about Gideon the First again. There should be a dramatic story there. He must have been somebody, for Pyrrha to have loved him as she did. That man was a groundbreaking engineer. Quite literally a rocket scientist. He designed the ships intended to take humanity into the future, and he helped design the ships that eventually did launch; the very first faster than light vessels. He must have been a genius.

And it's so goddamn easy to forget that about him, because he's so quiet. Because his body wasn't his half the time we knew him. Because there was a boy on his block who used to buy him hand pies, and he followed that boy to the end of the Earth without even moderate complaining.

Why? Why did he do that? When he volunteered to take that nuke to Melbourne, holding the world hostage, who did he do it for? Did he do it for the love of his best friend, the man he'd known from childhood? Or ... his grandparents brought him up religious. Did he do it for his prophet, the voice of God? Was G— one of the first to worship John, even before the first bomb fell?

[nihil-nan]

hello \[^.^]> Nihil here

Welcome to this random blog where all my interests-will, or already did- converge into weird soup... hopefully tasty soup still.

Skip to the end if you just want updates about this blog.

Anyway, introductions and info due:

I'm:

20

Egyptian

they/he/it. Gender is.. like.. like I have like one foot in the binary, and one foot and the rest of my body out in another dimension. I just refer to myself as a transmasc enby.

I'm asexual, alloromantic though, don't be fooled by the aro posting i just really like aro and aroace tumblr.

Am I nonhuman? not 100% sure. Do I believe in God? Does God even believe in me. Am I neurodivergent? I'm undiagnosed and have no idea what even starts to classify as divergent rather than typical.

Creating an interest list is overwhelming rn so I'll get to that point when I feel like it.

DNI IF

-You discriminate against a group of people in any way shape or form, I won't bother listing the discrimination types.

-You actively either encourage or cause any forms of harm on purpose. Bonus threat-to-society points if you think you're righteous.

-You're strictly and only NSFW porn related. I don't care.

-And if you're going to pester me about me needing to believe in your religion. I extra don't care.

-You think you'll dislike being around me or my blog... In that case why are you even here.

Blog Properties:

I'm inconsistent and my activity could vary from permenantly online to weekly check and silly reblog. I'm very much a lurker mainly so please @ or ask me it's totally chill and helps me stop lurking and start interacting with you more.

I cuss oftentimes without censorship, mostly as my favourite form of exclaimation or show of anger at something. You have been warned

I post about my current interests + relating to my identity and reblog cool stuff I find. I'll always tag any one interest in particular consistently, so just use the tag and you'll get all my specific stuff.

I've only posted about worldless so far. "worldless" is the tag, "worldless game" does NOT show all my posts.

Language: default English, I can still write and translate Arabic if needed.

Current Projects Status:

If you were wondering "wuh? Nihil weren't you really into Worldless and you wanted to do projects and stuff?" Currently I've struggled with 2 Worldless projects because I ran into both personal and technical issues at the same time, idk when I'll have any proper progress. I went a bit quiet on Worldless Tumblr because everytime I remember Worldless I rush to the projects I'm dealing with instead of the community.

-Basically I did a 100% run of both Edda and Aven only (excluding perfect trial and LUCA- LUCA for obvious reasons but perfect trial is totally possible) but the recording is way too long and chunky and I need to process it first (the processing part is so much more difficult than even doing the damned perfect trial with one of the duo at a time what the hell).

-And yes I announced long ago that I would create a set of save files to help kickstart the game from any point as a sort of live reference material or for whichever other need. I called it the sum total of all projects because what it meant for me is that I could review any situation, detail, animation, in game more conveniently and base future projects off of it. HOWEVER, creating multiple saves is a super buggy process in which I accidentally started a new world in which I had all the skill points and character progression despite all the enemies still being there (how). So with my laptop storage cussing me out and my cloud storage in absolute disarray I'm literally the "this is fine" meme rn and am scared to death I'll lose like my actual save files.

-With all that gibberish I forgot some of the memes and artworks I wanted to make for the game but another IMPORTANT thing I have in mind is my contribution to the fanzine. I have not started this but fingers crossed I create at least one thing for the fanzine by the end of August.

[sage-nebula]

Mystic Messenger - Entry Five

Hello once again, and welcome back to Mystic Messenger, a visual novel / dating sim which is actually getting pretty real right now, tbh, and which I am also paranoid about messing up completely due to reasons that will be explained later in this post. If you’ll remember, Entry Four ended with Unknown (a.k.a. Weirdo) hacking into the chat and leaving me shook for real. That was at the end of Day Four. Day Five then opened up, and from then on the screen looked like this:

Which I’m pretty sure means I’m on Seven’s path / means that I’ve secured him as my bf. I could be wrong on that, since I’ve heard that his story is like the “main story” of the game (hence why some recommend not playing it first, but I know what I’m about, son), but I feel like this is a pretty good indicator that even though I was nice to Jumin a lot as well, I’ve secured Seven like I wanted to. Success.

Anyway, after starting the fifth day---I didn’t take any screencaps of it, but the first chat was one with Yoosung about the “strange alarm” he heard on his phone. Yoosung didn’t see any of Weirdo’s messages in the chat, but he heard a weird alarm on his phone and that’s what made him log into the chat room. The thing is, this theme was playing the entire time, which made me feel just as shook as I did previously, let me tell you. Usually, the theme of the main character that the chat is about plays while you chat with them. So ordinarily, in a chat with just Yoosung (or in a chat that Yoosung is “leading”, so to speak), Yoosung’s theme would be playing. But in the first chat on Day Five, Weirdo’s theme was playing instead . . . and considering how keyed up I already was from the unexpected intrusion, I was real shook about it.

But either way, Yoosung had no idea what happened, and a decision was made to tell Seven as soon as possible, since he’s the hacker in charge of security operations for the RFA. And at that point, a new Visual Novel segment opened . . .

MY BOY’S HOUSE. Looking . . . quite a bit messier than the last picture he showed . . . (But that’s okay, and tbh, I love the decor, omg.) I wonder where he---

. . . Um, excuse me? Just what in the hell is---

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK. I’M---I’M---! I already experienced this last night, but just looking at this is making me feel upset all over again, I just---YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY BOY, OR SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL LEGIT FUCK YOU UP.

Of course, unfortunately, Vanderwood (and I’m not entirely sure their gender, because Vanderwood tells Seven not to call them “madam”, at which point Seven says “sir”, but Vanderwood didn’t like that either---so I’m just going to use gender neutral pronouns for now) doesn’t stay away from him and is just---awful, the worst, the most awful---

Like honestly, seriously, how dare they. This came about because of the madam / sir conversation mentioned before. They go back and forth like this for a while; Vanderwood is pissed because Seven hasn’t finished his work (showing also, by the way, that Vanderwood isn’t actually Seven’s maid, but rather someone else from the intelligence agency---one of his supervisors, by the look of it), but Seven makes a comment about how he’s “the servant” and Vanderwood is the boss, all that. Vanderwood also questions whether Seven’s output is so low and nonexistent because he’s upset about being paid in Honey Buddha Chips last time (showing that that story was true! Or at least that there was some truth to it), at which point Seven said no, he’s not upset, because he likes those chips, although . . . next time he’d like a new car . . . (At which point Vanderwood pointed out that a car would allow the intelligence agency to trace him, and Seven rescinded his request.) Another important thing to note is that Seven was shocked Vanderwood even got inside, given that Seven had changed the security codes, and Vanderwood said that they were carrying an Arabic dictionary because of him. Seven is trying to use Arabic to keep Vanderwood out, I just. ;A;

LOOK AT HIM. AN ANGEL. 

(Seven had complained a lot about the state of his house---said it was too dirty for him to concentrate on work, which got Vanderwood to agree to clean up. So in that sense, Seven is getting Vanderwood to do the work of a maid, at least . . .)

What was really interesting about this---though I don’t have screencaps now---is that Seven actually had this on his screen a while ago. He had posted pictures in a chat (I think it was a chat---maybe text message?) about how he had this skull on his screen that wouldn’t go away. So that made me wonder if perhaps this conversation took place earlier in the story, but I don’t think it did considering that the RFA server being hacked was only brought up twice: Once when Weirdo sent me to Rika’s apartment, and then the second time when Weirdo jumped into the chat right after V and Seven both left.

Speaking of that, though . . .

Well, kind of speaking of that, haha. Seven hadn’t actually said that the previous night, but he did say it a while ago:

And really, Jaehee should remember that since she was there. =P Anyway, I chose it because I figured it was the right choice to making sure Seven would be my bf, on top of him actually saying it a while ago, so. #noregrets

Never.

OH YEAH. Okay, so in all honesty, I had forgotten what it was Seven actually said, but for context: Jumin said that he wanted to develop a wine that was safe for cats to drink so that he could drink wine safely with Elizabeth the 3rd. Seven encouraged him to do this because he, too, wants to drink wine with “Elly”. Unfortunately, Jumin’s cat-related business ventures always pile more work on Jaehee’s plate, so as you can imagine, she was Not Pleased™ by this turn of events.

SERIOUSLY NOT PLEASED, GODDAMN.

I took this screenshot to inform you all that it was at this point that this theme started playing again. S H O O K.

Okay, so the game addict is definitely Yoosung. I’m guessing the sensitive one is Jumin, considering the fact that Seven compared him to a “super sensitive cat” before. But who is the cute one? I mean, I’d like to say “me lol” but let’s be honest, I’m not cute at all. Judging from things Seven has said before, I’m guessing the cute one is probably Elizabeth the 3rd . . . but I guess we’ll see.

RUDE, JAEHEE. DON’T BLAME MY BOY FOR THIS.

mfw:

Thank you for saying that first bit, Jaehee, but STOP BEING MEAN TO MY BOY. >:(

Okay, but honestly? I felt that this could be the case as well, because of the music playing. Almost like the music was a sign, a signal that Weirdo was watching everything as it unfolded . . . but in all sincerity, I do trust Seven. Like, I know saying that goes hand-in-hand with getting the ending / bf you want, since that’s how dating sims work, but I do think he would know (from a Watsonian perspective), so I feel like this information is genuine / sincere. That music still makes me feel so unbelievably uneasy, though.

I took this screenshot because of the typo in the second choice. Really? Blaze? Guys, you mean blasé. Honestly, considering the fact that this is a game that employs typos as actual parts of the narrative, I really wish that the translation team had taken more care when doing things like this. They make a lot of mistakes like this (e.g. they’ve used the wrong form of effect / affect before, and they’ll also often add apostrophe-s when trying to say “[name] is”, only half the time it’s wrong because they’re accidentally making something possessive instead of properly using a contraction, and as such they should have just written it out), and it always pulls me from the story for a moment. I really wish they had been more careful.

I honestly love this dork to pieces.

“Oh . . .” is right, oh my god. I’m pretty sure I had to cover my face for a minute when reading this. God, I’m way too invested, there’s no hope for me now.

The discussion continued on a bit with Jaehee mentioning that it would be possible since Seven knows the location of Rika’s apartment, but of course it’s not actually possible since he has all of that work for the intelligence agency that he has to do. So it was decided that while Jumin would send bodyguards for everyone else in the RFA (since the hacker is pretty obviously targeting the group), Seven would keep an on me through the CCTV cameras posted around the apartment. 24/7 surveillance between himself and Vanderwood, and like . . . irl that would feel creepy, since it would be like being under house arrest (though tbh this entire scenario is kind of like house arrest, since I wasn’t allowed to leave once I got here), but at the same time Seven is so desperate to protect me and . . . awww.

AWWWW.

And on a completely different, non-cute note---

SERIOUSLY, ZEN, JUST FUCK OFF AND LEAVE. GO AWAY.

JUMIN GETS IT.

JUMIN REALLY GETS IT, OH MY GOD.

Okay, so obviously I really, really wanted to pick that middle option, because it is so unbelievably true . . . but at the same time, I know what I have to do. I know how this works. I have Priorities™ and I’m not about to mess them up by calling Zen a douche (even though he is). So I---

Yes, because he’s better than you in literally every single way.

This actually gave me pause, because I thought this was because Jumin might still have developing feelings for me despite the fact that the game seemed to be pretty solidly on Seven’s path. However---

FUCKING DRAG HIM, JUMIN, DAMN. 

Jumin and Elizabeth the 3rd are platonic soulmates confirmed. ♥ (Also, the “you two” Zen was referring to are me and Seven, ahhh. ♥)

And actually, speaking of my love, Seven---

(He was apologizing for not finding any information about the hacker yet.) 

SWEET BOY, YOU’RE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT.

HOW CUTE IS THAT, THOUGH? HE MADE ME A FIRE-BREATHING ROBOT PUPPY, I’M---! Like, I know that would happen regardless, but I love dogs and so it’s honestly perfect that, instead of making me a cat like he might like, he made me a dog. And it breathes fire! Like a little growlithe!! I’m!!!! WE’RE MEANT TO BE, HE REALLY IS THE PERFECT ONE FOR ME AS FAR AS THIS GAME GOES.

Okay, it’s fake news that I’m cute, but I just. I’m love him.

Look how awkward we made Jaehee feel, lolololol. (Well, actually, she went on about how she’s jealous that Seven’s the only one who knows what I look like now, but still.)

YOU DON’T SAY . . . 

I had to pick that answer choice, but the truth is that I want it even if it does spit fire. I mean, maybe even because. Gimme the fire-breathing robot puppy, please and thank you.

What do I think? I think

Anyway, that was the end of that chat (as far as my screenshots go, anyway). I ended up getting into another one, though, and this time my boy was present, and just

He channeled the Tenth Doctor a bit:

After that, though . . . things started to get a bit . . . complicated.

He’s not weak, don’t call him weak.

So basically, this entire conversation kind of focused around the fact that Seven clearly has a massive frigging crush on me (yasss) but doesn’t / can’t realize it because he has a ton of hang-ups. I have a lot of screenshots, but like, there was a part where Yoosung was trying to encourage him to give me the robot puppy (GIVE ME THE ROBOT PUPPY):

But also Seven just being . . . really very confused:

(I think I read in the guide that the “you don’t . . . ?!” was a bad end choice ajdsfdsafdsa I didn’t mean it like that, though!!!)

I didn’t get the next cap, but Yoosung talked about how he had read in books that giving gifts to people you like is a good signal that you like them, or something like that, at which point Seven brought up his Playboy book, and

“Pick up some proper books. I usually read shoujo manga” oh Yoosung.

But then . . . things went kind of . . . south.

Um.

mfw:

What’s really kind of difficult about this is like---although I’ve been very forward and like “date me omg!!!” in this game, I am not at all like this in real life. Like, the few times I’ve confessed romantic feelings for people, it’s been extremely difficult for me to get the words out. In fact, the last time, the person I was confessing to interrupted me with “I know” because I just could not spit it out. So like, it’s kind of embarrassing for me to say these things even in this game, actually (throughout this whole conversation I had to keep covering my face with my hands) because I’m just not at all like this IRL. I’m actually far more shy. So even though this is part of the game, and I know that the truth is that he does have a crush and is just in denial or whatever, it still almost kind of hurts like a rejection because like . . . I really put myself out there, I was really forward, and that didn’t work either and just . . . feels bad, man.

He went on to further deny it by talking about the Tripter bot he had made to spread Zen’s photos, comparing that to the robot puppy:

ONCE AGAIN:

FEELS BAD, MAN.

On the plus side, Yoosung does ship it:

I mean, that was already pretty clear from up above with the whole “I support it 100%” thing, but I’m really glad that this was put out there, since it means I no longer really have to walk Yoosung back the way I was doing before. I mean, I still kind of do, in that I really need to make sure that Seven’s affection stays at the tip top (I wish there was some way to look at that in-game, but I understand where there isn’t), but I no longer have to worry about Yoosung being interested, because he knows now that Scrawlers/Seven = OTP, and that’s just the law of the universe. So that’s good.

Anyway, for all that he denied having The Feelings™ for me in this chat, Seven called immediately once it was through and it was a very sweet conversation. I seem to remember there being a part about him wanting me to remember that I was never alone and . . . well. It was sweet. It made me smile. WHY CAN’T YOU JUST BE HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, SEVEN? Oh . . .

Okay, so obviously this immediately brings to mind the 404 “page not found” error, and seems to be that with a play on Seven’s handle. But actually, error code 707 is a thing. Error code 707 is a system memory allocation error pertaining to system memory. Essentially, servers maintain all sorts of data (as you know) and they save them to system memory (as you would expect). As part of processes which pertain to the saving, use, and deletion (i.e. allocation and deallocation) of memory, a system will often delete (deallocate) a page of memory once it is no longer being used by the system, thereby freeing up space for new memory to be saved and therefore allocated. However, sometimes systems encounter a glitch in which they are unable to delete those pages of memory, at which point a 707 error occurs.

Seven updated his profile to this after that last chat. HMM, I WONDER WHAT IT MEANS . . .

Anyway, there was a conversation with Zen and Jaehee about Seven’s true feelings for me which I didn’t take screenshots of, and then there was another chat with Jumin and Yoosung in which Jumin killed it once again:

Jumin is so great in Deep Story, istg.

YES. YOOSUNG GETS IT. Honestly, I will never, not ever live with my parents again if I can help it. Honest to god, even when I have to stay there for one night I feel uncomfortable and want to leave. Nothing personal, really, but I’m just so much happier when I’m in my own house. It’s so, so unbelievably good to be on my own, for real.

Joke’s on you, Jumin. We’re the same age. But that said, back to the boyfriend . . .

Baby, no. ;_; You’re not pathetic. You are the real angel here.

He talked a lot in this conversation about how he can’t get close to people, and how he needs people to stop trying to guess at his past, because if they get close to him, they’ll get hurt. This especially applies to me, he said. And then this happened:

Same, but . . . he’s hurting so much. There was a point in this conversation about how he’s always lighthearted and joking around because that is all he is supposed to be. He’s not supposed to be a real person that others care about, or something like that. The only thing he ever had was God, but even that’s slipping away from him . . . and then after the conversation, this happened:

BABY ;A;

The game won’t let me respond, and I’m not entirely sure why. It might be because I already viewed the Visual Novel segment to start the next day, but I doubt it. I had picked a couple Bad End choices by accident, but apparently that doesn’t completely damn me, so hopefully this isn’t a bad sign . . . I’m just going to keep being super nice to him from here on out, because he is a baby and he is hurting and he is my boy and I will protect him!!

. . . But more gameplay will have to come later. This is where we end for now. UNTIL NEXT TIME.