#if you were wondering why i haven't been very active lately

[reddstardust]

Living my best t4t life fr

[explosionkatsu]

Fulfilling Desires

Human!Alastor x Killer!F!Reader

Warnings: Gores, mention of killing and blood 🩸

Early 1929 - 1930

You were one of the people who were entertained by the Black Tuesday, known as the Stock Market Crash in 1929. You were one of the pessimistic bearish investors who betted against the market making you instantly rich in no time. But after this occurrence, you were somewhat delighted that it didn't cause the ‘Great Depression’ is what they named it. You can still catch a glimpse of how everything went to an ordinary state as if nothing major happened, but the trash and debris around you say otherwise.

As the year 1930 came close, a sudden number of murder cases ascended. You were unbothered by this though.

As the sun began to set, an eerie silence fell over the city streets. The once-bustling roads now lay almost deserted, devoid of the usual hustle and bustle, as if the very air was thick with a sense of fear. Shops and stores, usually open till late, are now closing their shutters and locking up their doors much earlier than usual, as people seek the safety of their homes. The only sounds that could be heard were the rustling of leaves in the wind and the distant hum of the city, almost as if it was holding its breath, waiting for the danger to pass.

You find this odd since you haven't slaughtered anyone for a few months, so it seems like there's another murderer in town. You couldn't help but grin inwardly as you observed the group of people scurry towards the shelter of their homes, seeking refuge from whatever threat or danger loomed in the distance. The sight of their hurried movements and anxious expressions was both amusing and intriguing, and you found yourself quietly contemplating the amount of emotions that must be coursing through their minds at that moment. But it made you question, who is the murderer and what is their purpose.

Well, you know why you slaughter, and you wouldn't even deny the sense of rapture whenever you listen to the cry of your prey who was pleading for mercy. Just thinking back to this made you chuckle.

‘Oh, those poor souls’ You pondered to yourself as you now gazed upon the deserted street of New Orleans, Louisiana.

It's been months since you slaughtered, and you took it upon yourself to take a break after seeing how people do the same measures when you were still active.

Feeling sufficient at glimpsing out of your window, you fixed yourself a hot coffee before resting on one of your cozy settees and shifting on the radio, tuning to your favorite radio host.

Alastor, with a wicked smile on his face, finds it amusing knowing the sudden transformation of a bustling street into a lifeless ghost town. The fear and terror that radiate from every corner of the abandoned street only fuel his twisted sense of pleasure, driving him to keep moving forward with confidence. Nothing and no one can stand in his way as he relishes the power he holds over the once-bustling town.

But it is not yet the time to strike.

"Good evening, wonderful people of New Orleans! As you settle into the comfort of your homes tonight, I do hope that you are all secure and cozy. I cannot wait to share the latest news with you, but before we proceed, I would like to take a moment to express my gratitude to the hardworking authorities. These amazing individuals have been working overtime on some important cases these past few days, and their dedication to keeping us all safe is truly commendable! So, let's give them a big round of applause!" Cue the sound effect. "Now, let's dive into the evening news!" Alastor leaned in closely to the microphone as he spoke. He carefully flipped through the pages of his script, making sure to stay on track with the prepared content. As he read, his rich voice filled his home studio with a sense of confidence. Despite being live on air, Alastor remained calm and composed, delivering each line with precision and clarity.

"Another civilian was found in a gruesome situation in an alleyway near a club. The authorities recognized the body to be Daniel Thompson who's a worker in a men's boutique." Alastor smiled wickedly as he performed his unnatural serious yet saddened voice. "Authorities said they found him with a few of his organs missing, including his heart. Up until now, the perpetrator responsible for the incident is yet to be identified due to insufficient evidence."

Alastor's grin was so wickedly mischievous. As he scrutinized his script, he was transported back in time, reliving every moment with vivid clarity. The words on the page had the power to evoke memories and emotions he felt, almost as if he were living the scenes all over again. Oh, what a pleasure!

Alastor leaned into his microphone, his resonant. "It's truly astounding the thoughts that run through people's minds these days, isn't it?" he mused. "But let's not forget about the safety of those working the night shift. Take extra care on your way home tonight. We don't want any more victims to fall prey to the dangers that lurk in the dark. With that being said, please enjoy this music while I'm off-air! Have a lovely evening everyone."

As soon as Alastor finished his performance, he switched off his microphone and decided to treat his audience with some smooth jazz. After that, he stood up, leaving his script behind in the studio. He walked towards his basement to retrieve a few items that he needed for his later agenda. He carefully checked if everything was secured before speaking, "I'm pretty sure you must be feeling famished by now."

Suddenly, his shadow appeared beside him, grinning playfully. "You know me too well," his shadow replied.

Alastor chuckled at his shadow's response. "Don't worry, we'll be out in a while after I present my final script to the audience," he said confidently, feeling proud of himself.

With that being said after the final music played, Alastor went back to his studio for his final script before bidding goodbye.

Alastor's voice echoed through the microphone, "I'm afraid it is now time for me to leave. Let's give my colleague, the next host, a round of applause. Thank you for listening, and once again, this is your host, Alastor, signing off." With a click, he turned off his on-air light and proceeded to unplug all the devices he had used in his studio.

He then reached for his velvet trench coat, which was hanging on the back of his chair, and put it on. He tipped his black trilby hat and walked towards the door with a small bag on his back. The sound of his footsteps echoed in the empty hallway as he made his way out of the studio, leaving behind the dimly lit room, and proceeded to the front door for his next agenda.

It was now 10 pm as he left his home with all the lights switched off. Every step he takes is hushed as he makes his way to the deserted street. He knew that he'd find every drunkard going home at this hour, especially since almost every club was still active at this hour which he was grateful for.

"I'm craving for a woman.." Says his shadow in his head.

Alastor arrived at a well-known club, his heart pounding with excitement. He made his way to a dark corner, where he could observe the establishment without being noticed.

Suddenly, his attention was drawn to a group of friends who were leaving the club. Among them was an intoxicated blonde woman who caught his eye. Despite her friends' attempts to convince her to ride with them, she declined and instead began walking away, waving goodbye.

Alastor's heart raced in excitement as he saw his opportunity. He followed the woman from a distance, his footsteps silent as he moved closer. He could hear her soft laughter and the gentle sound of her footsteps on the pavement.

'What an idiot,' Alastor thought to himself as he kept an eye on her.

As he trails her in the shadow, he watches a fleet of police vehicles zoom past without offering any assistance to the vulnerable woman. The sound of their sirens fades away in the distance, leaving her alone and helpless. It's as if they deemed her unworthy of their time and resources. When he finally noticed the coast was clear, he watched her vomit in a nearby alley.

He then began his approach.

"My, my. A pretty woman like you shouldn't be alone at this hour!" Alastor approached the woman with a friendly ambiance. "May I offer you assistance, my dear?" He smiled offering her his hand to hold.

Too drunk, the woman looked at him, captivated by how handsome the man who was willing to help her. Without thinking, she nodded and grabbed his hand. "You look so handsome~"

Alastor chuckled at this, "So I've been told, darling." He responded, ushering her to walk. "May I ask, why a lovely woman like you alone at this hour? Didn't you hear about the murderer on the loose?"

"Nah! I know I'll be fine~" The woman giggled. "Now that you're here. I know you'll protect me~"

"Oh, don't worry darling. I will keep you safe." Alastor smiled.

Guiding her to the unlit alleyway was too easy, especially when the woman suddenly passed out on him. 'This is too easy.' Alastor thought as he smiled viciously.

"Keep an eye on the area. Make sure no one sees." Alastor commanded his shadow who immediately nodded and left.

Of course, without letting any more seconds go by, he put a gag on the woman, as well as blindfolded her eyes.

As he lifted the weight of the woman in his arms, he turned his head and his eyes met yours. A smile played on your lips, and for a moment, the world around him faded away as he felt a small dread over him.

Alastor's smile twitched. 'Fuck' He thought to himself.

You noticed him staring at you with a tense expression. Without a word, you raised your index finger to your lips in a shushing gesture, indicating that he should remain silent. The suddenness of the gesture seemed to surprise him, and he watched as you walked away with a sense of bewilderment, wondering what had just happened.

He now knows who's his next target.

The morning sun shone brightly as you stepped out, breathing in the fresh air. The street was slowly coming to life, with stores opening up and people bustling about. You walked with purpose, your steps confident and elegant.

As you walked, people couldn't help but notice you. Women scanned your outfit as you passed by, admiring your choice of clothing and the way you carried yourself. You were a sight to behold, a true embodiment of grace and poise.

Suddenly, a gloved hand grasped your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. You turned to see the same man from last night, Alastor, standing before you with a smile on his face.

"What a stunning elegant woman you are," he said, his voice smooth and confident. You giggled in response, knowing exactly where this was going.

"Why, I appreciate the compliment, Sir," you said, slightly bowing your head in acknowledgment.

Alastor watched you with half-lidded eyes, admiring your beauty. "A polite one as well!" he beamed. "What do you say I treat you to breakfast? I couldn't help but admire you from afar as soon as I saw you."

"Aren't you a charmer," you giggled, your hand covering your lips in amusement. "I don't mind the offer."

"Shall we?" Alastor gestured towards the door of the nearby cafe, his eyes never leaving you.

"Why, thank you," you smiled as you entered the establishment with him following close behind.

The sound of smooth jazz filled the cozy and inviting cafe, creating a relaxed atmosphere that put everyone at ease. As you walked in, the patrons briefly looked up from their coffee and newspaper, taking in both you and Alastor's presence before returning to their affairs. The chimes hanging near the door suddenly made a delicate sound, adding to the already pleasant ambiance.

Alastor courteously escorted you to a cozy corner seat in the bustling cafe, carefully selecting a spot where there were fewer people having their breakfast. He pulled out a chair for you and patiently observed as you comfortably settled into it.

"Thank you." You smiled and watched him sit across from you.

As you settled into your seats, a courteous waiter appeared at your table, menus in hand. You both took your time reading the extensive selection of dishes, taking note of the appetizers, entrees, and desserts. After a few minutes, you both decided on your meals and handed the menus back to the waiter, who gracefully took them and jotted down your order. He then returned to you with a small card bearing your table number, ensuring your meals would find their way to the right place.

Alastor's gaze fell upon the withdrawing waiter, his eyes half-lidded as he commented, "Hm. Such a nice young lady." His voice carried a sense of intrigue thinking what would her flesh would taste like before turning to face you. You could feel his presence looming over you as he continued, "I'm quite sure you know why I invited you." The tone in his voice made it clear that there was something important he wanted to discuss with you.

You smiled at him knowingly and replied, "Oh, believe me, I already know why." As you looked at him, you couldn't help but notice his striking eyes and his calm demeanor. "It is an absolute pleasure to have this unexpected encounter with you. My name is Y/n L/n." You extended your hand towards him, hoping that he would reciprocate the gesture and shake it.

Alastor's lips curved upwards into a charming smile as he reached out to take your hand. He didn't shake it, but instead, he pulled it towards his face and planted a delicate kiss on your skin. "I must say, the pleasure is all mine, Y/n. I am Alastor," he said, introducing himself with a suave tone. "Quite a pleasure."

Once Alastor let go of your hand, he spoke with a hint of closeness, "I'm quite positive you know me from my broadcast."

‘I see.’ A realization dawned on you, and you couldn't help but smile, "I am a big fan of your evening stories, Mister Alastor. They're my absolute favorite. Although, I was quite baffled when you didn't share any tales last night." You pouted your lips playfully, trying to taunt him. "I was truly saddened," you added with a tinge of disappointment.

Alastor couldn't help but stare at you as you made that face. He knew that you were trying to pull his leg. "I truly apologize, Y/n. But something suddenly came up, and I just couldn't make it," he responded while taking your hand in his and gently caressing it to comfort you.

You flashed a smile, trying to mask the growing emotions that were brewing inside you. "Do not worry, Mister Alastor. I quite understand your reasoning." A glint in your eyes almost showed your true as your smile slowly morphed into a knowing grin. The corners of your natural pink lips curled up, revealing the hint of a sinister plan that was about to unfold.

Alastor's eyes narrowed as he caught sight of the familiar smile. He knew right away that this person was not as naive as he had previously thought. "If it would interest you," he said with a smooth and charming tone, "I would be delighted to invite you to my humble abode where I perform my nightly broadcast." His smile was inviting. "You can watch me live tonight if you so choose."

You flashed a smile at Alastor, conveying you're accepting his offer. "That would be lovely, my dear sir," you said politely.

Alastor's eyes lit up with excitement as he exclaimed, "Wonderful! I will have you taste my mother's secret jambalaya recipe!"

You couldn't help but giggle at Alastor's enthusiasm. "I'm sure it will be a delight," you replied, eagerly anticipating the dish.

For a brief moment, you both stared at each other, as if silently communicating through your eyes. However, the arrival of the waiter carrying your food broke the spell, causing both of you to avert your gaze.

Alastor hummed, his eyes glinting as he watched the waiter approach their table carrying their orders and placing them on the table. You thanked the waiter and gestured to Alastor to tuck into your much-awaited breakfast.

As you finished, Alastor pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled his address on it. "Make sure you arrive before dusk," he said, his voice low and intense.

You took the paper from him, tucking it safely into your bosom. "Thank you for the delightful breakfast and your company, Mister Alastor," you said, bowing your head in respect.

"Please, call me Alastor," he insisted, placing a finger under your chin and tilting your face up to meet his gaze. "You're not some peasant beneath me."

Your lips graced a smile reaching your eyes as you locked eyes with Alastor, feeling a sudden and intense connection with him. "I'll see you this evening," he added, his voice dropping even lower.

The smile never left your lips as he kissed your hand and turned to leave, his back straight and his head held high. You watched him go, his figure disappearing into the crowd.

'This evening will be unforgettable,' you thought to yourself, turning to walk the other way your smile dropping.

Arriving at his home, Alastor quietly entered. Not a small squeak was heard from any of his movements. His eyes are still half-lidded while he makes his way to his cellar.

The cellar is dark, the only source of light is coming from the small window located at the end of the room. But it wasn't enough to illuminate the entire place.

Alastor took a few steps into the dark room. The scent of rotting flesh was all around the room, the floor was stained with dried blood, and the walls were full of scrapes, claw marks, and even a few splatters of blood. There sat the now awake blonde woman who was gagged and blindfolded. Her arms are tied behind her back and her feet are tied together. Next to her was a stainless bowl with a spoon and a water bottle which Alastor used to feed her before he left.

"It seems like you won't be alone any longer in here, hmm." A wicked smile appeared on his lips as he gazed down at the woman who was crying in the corner. "Don't cry now, darling. I don't want my meat to taste bad."

You had a fast-paced day and were now making your way towards Alastor's house. The house was located in the middle of the woods, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of calmness as you approached it. However, you were ready for anything, with a rapier in its sheath strapped to your thighs. As you walked closer to the entrance, you noticed the house was much like a cabin in the woods, but much bigger and tidier, almost like a mansion.

Once you knocked on the door, it was instantly pulled open by Alastor "Ah! Y/n. Please, come in," He said, welcoming you inside and locked the door behind you, which you couldn't help but notice.

You could see a bunch of deer antlers hanging on his wall, and the seemingly decomposed head of a deer hanging in the middle of the room where his chimney was located caught your attention, "I see that you hunt. Mostly stag." You slightly smirk turning your head to look at him. You could see that Alastor was a skilled hunter, with his collection of deer antlers and other hunting trophies on display.

"Ah, yes. I hunt for fun. But I sometimes crave venison meat, my dear." He chuckled and admitted. "They are quite softer than any ordinary meat."

"How curious." You giggled. "Now you made me wonder what they taste like, Alastor," you said, expressing your curiosity about the taste.

"I don't mind giving you one, my dear." Alastor chuckled. "But it might take a while for me to get my hands on it."

"Is that so." You mumbled looking at him. "But I know one type of meat that was indeed soft and scrumptious."

"I'm not quite sure what you are talking about, my dear." Alastor smiled walking toward his studio with you following behind.

"Alastor, dear. I am not foolish." You chuckled. "I am fully aware of your intentions after what I saw last night." Once you mentioned this, Alastor halted and turned to look at you. You can see his smile thinned. "And I do know this is the reason why you invited me here." You giggled covering your lips with your hand. "I know your game." You said as you confidently walked into his studio without asking for his permission, ready to take on whatever was waiting for you.

"Then I believe I don't need to hide anything from you, Y/n," spoke Alastor, his voice like velvet. As he gradually made his way towards you, he wrapped his arm around your waist in a slow, almost dancing motion.

You didn't feel uncomfortable with his touch though. You simply let out a carefree laugh, which delighted Alastor. You took your time gazing into his half-lidded eyes, which were staring back at you, before slowly pulling away from him. You dusted off your skirt, a small action that didn't go unnoticed by Alastor. "It's for you to decide, Mister Alastor," you said, your voice laced with a hint of playful mystery.

Alastor arched an eyebrow inquisitively, his piercing gaze fixed on the object of his affection. 'Is she teasing me?' he wondered out loud. Without missing a beat, he reached out and placed a strong, reassuring hand on her lower back. "Perhaps you'll find this a lovely present, my darling," he said with a hint of mischief in his voice.

As you both stepped out of his studio, you looked around and asked with curiosity, "Hm? Where are we headed now?" You couldn't help but feel intrigued by the unknown destination as you walked alongside him.

"You'll see."

You decided to go along with his plan, despite feeling uncertain. You wanted to be prepared for whatever might happen next. However, your suspicion began to grow when you realized that he was taking you down to the basement. This sudden change in direction made you feel slightly uneasy.

The scent of rotting flesh was the first thing you noticed once you both reached the cellar. Despite the utter darkness that engulfed the room, you cautiously trailed behind Alastor, trusting his lead. As you neared the threshold, a faint glimmer of light illuminated the scene just enough to reveal the silhouette of a blonde woman. She appeared to be the same person he had carried on the night you apprehended him.

Alastor anticipated that you would be frightened upon witnessing the sight of the weeping woman who was captured. But instead, you displayed a devious gaze and a vicious smile. He became more interested in you.

With measured steps, you closed the distance between yourself and the mysterious woman. The soft click of your heels beneath your feet echoed in the stillness. As you drew nearer, you could see the delicate features of her face and the strands of hair that had fallen across her sweaty forehead. Finally, you knelt beside her, feeling the coldness of the ground beneath your knees before taking the blindfold off of her. The woman looked at both of you, terrified. Tears kept streaming down her cheeks as she whined through the gag as if begging for freedom.

"You poor thing.." You mumbled looking at her eye to eye. "This is why you should never walk in the dark." As you uttered words, your hand stretched out, delicately brushing away a solitary tear that trickled down her cheek.

Alastor stood there, his eyes fixed on you, as you went about your task. He couldn't help but wonder if the way you were doing things was your usual method.

"Such beautiful face, my dear." You whispered. "Too bad it will go to waste.." With utmost care, you slid the gleaming rapier out of its scabbard, the metal glinting in the light. You held it up for the woman to see, her fearful gaze fixed on the sharp edge that seemed to shimmer in the air.

"Nothing is as beautiful as you are, my darling," Alastor spoke behind you, brushing your h/c locks to the side. He then sensually leaned down, placing an alluring kiss on your nape just as he wrapped his arm around your waist and leisurely held your hand where your rapier was.

Your eyes narrow as you watch the woman closely, who is frantically attempting to flee from the both of you using her abilities. You can see the fear in her eyes and the desperation in her movements. As she tries to escape, you notice the subtle quiver in her hands and the beads of sweat forming on her forehead. Despite her efforts, she seems to be struggling to try and escape, making her attempts all the more frantic. "Oh, I would assure you. Nothing is as beautiful as her bathing in her own blood.." You spoke.

The woman's final screech was heard through the night followed by your rapier's blade slithering against her neck bringing her blood to splatter on the pair of you.

But as he witnesses the death of the woman by your hands, Alastor can't help himself but bring fingers to your face, clutching you by your jaw and wringing your face to him before he aggressively places his lips against yours. His actions caused you to drop the rapier and wrap your arms around his neck, returning the kiss almost too desperately.

Your lips danced against his as you felt him fighting for dominance. You felt his arm unbuttoning your blouse, drenched in blood. This causes you to do a similar action, unbuttoning his clothes and sliding both your arms in, feeling his bare skin brushing against your palm.

You felt him pushing you gently, bringing you to lie on the blood-soaked floor while he pulled your maxi skirt.

[restinslices]

Everything pt4 (FINALE)

PJO Show Ares x Child!Reader (no gender specified)

Word count: 6772

Summary: It’s been years since you’ve spoken with your father, but with Kronos’ armies marching and the final battle approaching, you have one question on your mind. If you survived this, would it be too late to mend what was broken? Unbeknownst to you, Ares is wondering the same thing. Warnings: Spoilers for The Last Olympian (not too big though), giving Hestia a power idk if she has for the plot, angst, OOC Ares but y’all know this already

You know what sucks more than daddy issues?

The world ending. 

Both are seriously draining but the world ending? It was a real bummer. Not only was it a bummer, but it was incredibly confusing. You expected to be actively in battle right now, not being made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich by Luke's mom. 

As shady as it sounded, you couldn't understand for the life of you how Hermes had fallen in love with her. She looked as if she had been electrocuted multiple times and the smile she wore reminded you of something you'd see in a horror movie. Looks aside, sandwiches and cookies were rotting in her house and it smelled like something had died. You couldn't see Hermes being here. 

“Ms. Castellan” you began as nicely as possible. “I'm not Luke. My friends aren't either. This is Percy, Nico and I'm Y/N. We're…” the people that want Luke dead. No. You couldn't say that. “We're friends of Luke. That's all”. She seemed to understand what you said, even if her eyes told a different story. 

“Friends… Friends? Friends with my precious boy…” you almost scoffed. “I'm so glad he has friends. I've always wanted to meet his friends”. She spoke like she was in a dream state and her eyes stayed on you, not blinking once. “You've come for a sleepover? I'd have to talk to your parents first. I need to know if you have allergies! Then your parents and I can also be friends and spend time together! I'm sure I'd like them”. 

You forced yourself to keep smiling at her, even if she unknowingly brought up something you were trying desperately not to think about. In 2007 you and your father Ares came to an agreement that it'd be best if you never saw each other again. The year was 2009 and you were still keeping up your side of the deal. You didn't burn offerings for him, you didn't go see him for that field trip, you haven't even uttered his name since then. When you heard about the gods fighting Typhon, you tried not to think about him getting hurt. 

You were the one that proposed the deal, yet you immediately regretted it. A part of you thought “good job! You're keeping your peace! Your relationship would've never gotten better anyway!”. The largest part of you kept thinking “but what if you were wrong? What if he changed?”. 

You shook your head. Curse your stupid loyalty. You could've turned Nico and Percy down, but Percy pleaded with you to come with him. The last time you become someone's adoptive older sibling… 

“Nah, you wouldn't like my dad Ms. Castellan. He's a real hardhead”. She chuckled, which looked insanely creepy because she still hadn't blinked. 

“Men tend to be. I'm sure he's still very lovely”. Yeah, if you enjoyed headaches. 

Nico took over the conversation and thankfully your familial issues were no longer a topic. Thankfully should be in quotations though, because the conversation quickly turned depressing. May Castellan spoke like she was floating and talked about her son and Hermes as if the last couple of years hadn't happened at all. In your heart, you knew that she either didn't know, or she forgot. You didn't know what happened to her and why she looked like she took a tumble in Wonderland and never escaped, but whatever happened caused her to never see reality the same. You pitied her. Poor woman. Forever making sandwiches for a boy that had grown into a man. An angel that snipped his own wings. 

Suddenly she stopped and screamed. You all jumped up and you pushed the two boys behind you. You doubted May Castellan would try to fight any of you, but you wouldn't take that chance. 

A glowing green filled her vision and she rasped “My child! Must protect him! Hermes! Help! Not my child! Not his fate! No!”. She grabbed at your shoulders and continued screaming about fates and you pushed her off. 

“Guys! Let's get out of here!” You yelled to the boys behind you. 

You were prepared to run out of there, but May collapsed and Percy ran to catch her before she could hit the floor. 

As quickly as she was screaming about fate and her eyes were glowing, it all stopped. She went back to her version of normal. 

“Normal” was a word that really sucked as a demigod because your version of normal would never be what you wanted. What you wished was normal for you was going to school, complaining about teachers, listening to music and playing video games. Your normal was fighting monsters, training, keeping the world from ending and nightmares. When other people's lives diverged from the norm, it was probably something small, like dyeing their hair a neon color. Your version of “well this doesn't always happen” was sitting across from Hestia and listening to her do that thing gods do, where they give you advice in riddles. 

The conversation was mainly on Percy, until it wasn’t anymore. Hestia looked over at you and you couldn’t help but feel small under her gaze (which was comical considering she looked like an 8 year old girl), like she was peering deep into your soul in search of something. 

In any other circumstance, you would’ve stayed silent. You didn’t have time for more mysteries right now, so you cleared your throat and said “my lady, is there something you want to say?”. 

“I just wonder…”

”Wonder? About what? Please, I wanna hear it” 

“I wonder whose side you’re on”. 

What?

Your brows furrowed. “The gods obviously”.

”Is it obvious though?”. You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes. Making an enemy out of Hestia wasn’t on your to do list.

”My lady, may I speak bluntly?”. She nodded. You really wished she didn’t choose the form of a child so you wouldn’t feel so silly. “The world is ending and there’s still so much I haven’t done. I’m stressed out, wondering if I’ll survive the battle-” if your father would care if you didn’t, “-if our efforts will be enough, how many mortals will die, if the gods survive their battle with Typhon. Please don’t add ‘not understanding a riddle’ to my stress. Whatever you’re thinking, just say it”. You could feel Nico shooting you a ‘are you crazy?’ look. How else were you supposed to say it? You thought you were being extremely kind and respectful. The alternative was “English please”.

Hestia looked you over as she thought. “I’ve heard about your conversations with your father”. Yeah sure, let’s bring that up again. Perfect!

You shifted uneasily, not wanting to talk about this anymore. Hestia either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “I wonder why you didn’t side with Kronos”.

You couldn’t stop yourself from rolling your eyes this time. Did she truly think so little of you? “Why would I side with him?”.

”Many of the demigods on his side feel neglected. No doubt you do as well. I wonder what’s the difference between you and them” 

“Brains” you answered. “We all have parental issues. You don’t side with a guy like Kronos”

”You think little of those demigods? Think yourself above them?” 

“You know what I did when I was angry with Ares?” His name felt strange on your tongue. It’d been so long since you said his name. “I gave myself terrible bangs and wore all black. I stared outside car windows, listened to sad music and imagined myself in a music video. I wrote in a diary that said ‘do not touch or I’ll kill you!’, all in uppercase letters. I didn’t side with a crazy Titan that wants to destroy the world as we know it. Seems a bit extreme, don’t you think?”. She nodded.

“My lady I mean this with respect and love in my heart; what is the point of this conversation?”.

She poked at the fire a bit before answering. “This battle will be a hard one. Perhaps I am buying time and trying to memorize your face in case something goes wrong”. Gee, thanks for all the hope lady.

”If something goes wrong for me, I at least hope everyone else gets a happy ending”

”Your death does not frighten you?” She asked with a raised brow.

”Of course it does” you answered truthfully. “But I can’t let fear stop me from doing what I know is right. You’re the goddess of the home, so you should understand when I say I fight for my home. I don’t think home is just a place though. Home can be people. Percy, Annabeth, 

Grover, Nico…” you swallowed, “… my dad. They’re my home. I won’t let my home be hurt without a fight. I’m willing to fight, kill, and die for my home. That’s how much home means to me”.

She smiled. “Spoken like a true child of Ares”. You wish she’d just tell you why she was hassling you in simple words. “But homes can be hectic-“

”My relationship with Ares is hectic but it doesn’t matter”

”You have hope”

”Sounds more like a statement than a question” you mumbled.

You looked at the fire, not wanting to look at (what appeared to be) the child on your ass.

When looking at the flames, for whatever reason you thought of home.

Images flashed in your mind. Images of camp, of laughing campers, of you and Percy giving Sally multiple heart attacks.

Of you and Annabeth debating, you and Grover planting flowers, you and Clarisse training together.

Images of your life flashed quickly, yet it all made sense. You could see everything as if you were there again.

Then the images slowed.

You felt Ares arms as he caught you when you fell from multiple floors up in the mall.

You could smell burgers and fries in the diner and saw him sitting across from you.

You could hear the two of you arguing and your ears started to burn with rage when you suddenly felt his warm embrace. You leaned into him and sighed, feeling his beard against the top of your head. You probably looked ridiculous to everyone else in the diner, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt his warmth and you knew you never would again. 

“I love you dad” you said.

You couldn’t believe what you heard next. He said “I love you too” and he genuinely sounded like he meant it. At the time, you thought there was no possible way he could’ve been being genuine.

“He’s gotten good at lying” you thought. “That’s all. He doesn’t care. You’re making things up”.

But what if you were wrong? What if there was a chance?

”I have to have hope” you said out loud. You were too busy looking at memories in the fire and missed Hestia’s satisfied smile. 

Hope.

Home.

If you were still alive by the end of the war, you knew you’d have to break your end of the agreement.

You knew you had to go home.

***

Everyone knew war was coming.

The hope for everyone else was that Kronos would never get strong enough to challenge the gods. Hope wasn’t something you could depend on though. You had to actually work, and apparently the gods hadn't done enough. 

All the gods, besides one, was nervous. Of course Ares was more excited than nervous, like a child in a candy store. If he had the power to control time, he’d speed this whole thing up so he could be in battle already. The anticipation was killing him.

It was so grim and depressing in Olympus. Everyone was on edge and acting as if this would be their last time seeing each other. Complete and utter bullshit. They were the 12 Olympians for fucks sake! Anyone else there was there for a reason. They’d beat Kronos and his army, then drink to their victory and hug their children.

Hug their children? 

“Stop”, he thought. “Not that shit again”.

He didn’t wanna think about children.

He pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance and made his way to a nearby fireplace.

”Ares” Hestia greeted without having to look at him.

“Hestia” he greeted back and sat down next to her on the ground. “Poking at the fire again?”

“What else is there to do?”

“You could be preparing for the battle”. She made a noise of disapproval, 

“You know I'm not one for fighting. I am where home is”. He couldn't say he understood it, but whatever kept her happy. Ares wasn't fond of all the gods, but he liked Hestia. She stayed to herself and overall was friendly with everyone. She didn't blab her mouth or make jokes about him and Aphrodite being caught by Hephaestus. She was a breath of fresh air honestly. 

Hestia looked over at him and cocked her head to the side. “No” he said before she could get anything out, “don't start asking me questions about feelings and try to dissect me”. Hestia was nice and all, but she always noticed when someone was off, and even if they weren't she'd find a way to make a conversation more deep than it needed to be. 

“Ares, the battle ahead will be a difficult one. There's a possibility that you could be destroyed or that your children-”

“Don't”. His voice came out harsh and he shot her a warning look. Unfortunately for him, Hestia was never intimidated by that. 

“They can die. Do you think they're keeping their feelings bottled? I doubt it. I hear them whisper their fears around the campfire at camp. They're terrified Ares.”

“How many are terrified?”

“All of them”. 

He wished he didn't ask. He should've stayed curious. 

Hestia was right. Any of his children could die. Maybe all of them. They all probably whispered to each other in their cabin, trying to comfort each other, and what was he doing? Sitting in Olympus. 

He hated that he cared. Ever since his last talk with a particular child, he had been trying to build those walls back up and go back to being his “normal” self. Unfortunately, those cracks seemed to remain and refused to go away. He tried to seal them, but even something as small as a talk with Hestia revealed those cracks again. “They'll be ok” he said although he knew the truth. The truth was that he had no idea what would happen. 

“I could deliver a message to them if you'd like”

“There's nothing I can think to say to them”

“Then perhaps you could say something to me. Whatever is on your mind, you can speak and I will listen”. 

Ares didn't wanna look at her so instead he looked at the fire in an attempt to ignore her. That proved to be an error when his nose filled with the familiar smell of rain and his ears filled his child's voice. 

“To me… to me you were everything. You are everything. “. Your tears mixed in with the rain and you wore a deep frown full of a child's repeated crushed dreams. His heart squeezed tightly for the first time in a while and he hated it. That's when it all started. 

Other memories flashed. Memories of him and the other Olympians fighting wars, sometimes with each other. 

He saw a time before strict rules and before he vowed to keep himself distant from his children. A time when he mourned them fully and intensely when their final breath passed their lips and their bodies became limp. 

He saw the time now and while it was full of distance and misery, he saw his other children. He saw them visiting him and talking about things he didn't care about but listened to anyway. Saw their sad faces and hung heads when they had to leave. 

It all went back to you though. 

“You want more from the child of Ares?!” You had puffed your chest when you said his name and held your sword tighter. “I have plenty to give!”. 

He heard your back and forth snarky comments to each other before the smell of food filled his nose and the conversation went from humorous to angry then sad. 

“I don't matter to you. Just admit it so we can move on”. You were so wrong but you said the words with such conviction. You genuinely thought you were right. Was that truly how neglectful he had become? All his children had become strangers and he couldn't blame anyone but himself. 

“Seeing you at all, it gives me hope” Was hope so bad to have though?

“You want this?”

“No” you said immediately. He remembers how he was surprised you had been that honest with him. He thought you'd make up a lie and pretend to be extremely confident, but your voice cracked and this time there was no rain to hide your tears. If earlier you wore a frown of repeated crushed dreams, that day your eyes filled with a child's final dream crushed. 

But then he felt the both of you hug and he couldn't help but think to himself “Does the dream have to be crushed? Does hope have to be lost?”. 

The fire continued to show him more memories of his children before it went back to you purposefully ignoring him. He had to admit that seeing you spend time with Hermes instead of him made his brows lower in frustration. But he agreed to a deal. 

“Ares?” Hestia questioned. Ares kept staring at the fire and hoped the images would return, but they slowly faded away. She said his name again. She had saw what he saw and felt the way his heart cried. It was a feeling she never wanted to experience again. 

He agreed to that deal… but what would happen to him if he broke it? Nothing that hasn't happened before. How could he see all of that and still want to keep his side of the deal?

“I think…” he whispered “I think I miss my children…”. 

His children. His family. His home. He had to believe that hope was possible. 

Hope.

Home.

He'd fight with his all while keeping everyone in the back of his mind. He knew he'd have to break his end of the deal. 

He knew he had to go home.

***

If someone were to ask how you felt in this exact moment, it'd be irritation. Because of some stupid disagreement between the Ares kids and the Apollo kids, Clarisse ordered that none of Ares' children were to attend the battle. When you reminded Clarisse that this battle was bigger than some stupid argument over a chariot and that campers have already died and more will, she simply puffed her chest and went on about how she's tired of Ares getting disrespected. Sure, ok. Maybe you got a point Clarisse. Couldn't this wait until after though?

You shared some harsh words, half of them being curse words, and joined the battle with everyone else. 

Manhattan as a whole was trapped in a deep sleep, yet somehow they seemed like the lucky ones. Sure, maybe a monster would step on them but at least they'd die in their sleep. If you died you'd be fully conscious and you knew it'd hurt. 

Only a fool feels no fear. A bigger fool lets fear paralyze them. You did your best to let your fear move you through your enemies and you cut and hacked at them, leaving a trail of dust in your wake. You tried at first to ignore how many old campers you were killing, but it was hard to when your sword was soaked and you stared in the eyes of people you used to call friends before you took their life. It didn't feel good but it was either you or them. None of them held their punches and those same kids came in camp and killed campers, so you wouldn't hold your punches either. 

A squeal filled your ears and you winced as you looked up. The fighting stopped and you understood why when you saw a huge flying pig heading straight towards everyone. You scoffed and wanted to make some sort of joke, but figured now wasn't the time. 

“As far as I know, no hero has ever beaten it” you heard Annabeth say when you got closer to her and Percy. Your heart beat in a skittish panic but you forced yourself to hold your sword firmly and say the words “we will” as serious and brave as you could muster. 

Percy had some idea and while you were told to keep the enemies back, your eyes landed on a white Pegasus and you knew you couldn't. 

“Hey Annabeth” you grabbed her arm, making sure not to grab too tight because of her previous wound. 

“Yeah?” she asked. Annabeth looked terrible. She was covered in dirt, dust, blood, and her hair was so out of place that you thought May Castellan would take kindly to her. You didn't know how you looked but you knew that all of you would need showers if you survived. 

“I love you too”

No. When you survived. 

“I'm gonna try and help Percy. Stay here. I'll come back. I promise”. Before she could ask you what you meant or remind you that you couldn't promise such a thing, you ran off to the Pegasus. 

“Hey buddy” you waved and forced a smile. You knew Percy could understand them and vice versa, but you couldn't understand them and you didn't know if that could understand you. “Me” you pointed at yourself, “friendly” you raised a thumbs up. You pet its head and it didn't bite you, so you assumed it understood. 

“Me” you pointed at yourself. “You” you pointed at the Pegasus. “Follow Percy and pig” you pointed at Percy and the pig, who were quickly vanishing from view. It nodded its head and after a sigh of relief, you got on its back. 

If it wasn't for the war and death, you'd say you were really enjoying this. How many people could say they had done something like this? Not many, that's for sure. 

“Hey Sharkboy!” You yelled when you were within shouting distance. Percy thankfully was no longer hanging by a rope, but was on Blackjack. You didn't know if Blackjack recognized you as the one always giving him donuts, but he made a pleased sound when he saw you. “Uh, is this a part of your plan?” You motioned to the statue that took his place attached to the rope. “It's a pretty shit one”. 

The boy rolled his eyes and huffed at you. Whether it was because of the nickname or insulting his plan, you didn't know. It made you smile either way. “I gotta get close to it! I can activate the statue to fight the pig!”. 

Flying pigs, fighting statues, just another day as a demigod. You rubbed in between your brows to stop the migraine that was forming. How hadn't you gone insane yet?

“It sounds crazy but-” Percy kept talking but you stopped listening. You looked behind you at the battle and like a fool, you froze. 

Manhattan was a war zone. This you knew. Seeing it up high like you were a god though made it all seem so much worse. You could see family being forced to fight each other. You could hear screams and pleads and crying. You could see kids trying to dodge being stepped on. You saw so many people not being allowed to mourn. You saw death. You saw it everywhere. 

Then your shock and fear turned to anger. These were your friends and family killing each other! Sure, they were still responsible for their actions, but there wouldn't be any actions for them to take if Kronos hadn't got in the way. He used these people and he didn't care how many died. He just wanted his throne. Annabeth could die. Grover could die. Percy could die. 

Your father could be destroyed. 

You didn't know how you looked, but you must've looked terrifying because Percy “talks back to everyone” Jackson looked at you the way you expected him to look at the gods; with edge. 

“Hey-”

You pet the animal under you neck and pointed at the pig “closer!” You ordered. It obeyed. It beat its wings harder and you passed Blackjack and Percy with ease. The closer you got, the more you could smell its stench. Under normal circumstances you'd pinch your nose and walk the opposite way, but this time you kept going straight towards it. 

The animal under you whined and you assumed that meant it was having a hard time keeping up. Your eyes fell to the rope and you knew what you had to do. 

Your sword morphed back into a necklace when you brought it close to you and after so much practice, clasping it wasn't a problem for you anymore. 

“Good boy or girl. I'll get you some snacks when this is all over. You like donuts?” it made a pleased sound and you pet its neck. 

You moved so that instead of straddling the animal, your legs were hanging over one side. 

“Don't let me die” you whispered to no one in particular then you pushed yourself off. 

A mixture of luck and skill prevented you from becoming a mark on the concrete. 

The rope burned your bare hands but you held on anyway. You managed to grab on above the statue and started climbing upwards, using the beating in your chest to motivate you not to fall and die. The white Pegasus stayed beside you as you forced yourself up the rope and you gripped the pig's fur to pull yourself all the way up. Now, pigs don't have tons of fur, but a giant pig had plenty enough to grab onto. 

The wind blew through your hair so harshly that you were surprised it didn't snatch it all off. The pig was flying at an intense speed with its only goal being to destroy everything you loved. 

You pulled your necklace off and it turned back into the double edged sword your father gifted you so many years ago. 

It was only now that you realized something. 

When you killed this thing, it'd disintegrate. You wouldn't. In the mall you were high up but you were only up a couple floors. Now you were definitely above the mall and many other buildings. The white Pegasus was no longer keeping up with you and when you looked behind you, Percy and Blackjack were still a while away. 

Percy connected the dots a lot faster than you did and you saw his lips move and Blackjack's wings flap faster. 

What do you say when you know you're gonna die? Damn. You didn't have time to prepare and you didn't have time for a speech. 

You felt like you were looking back at the flames. At home. At hope. You were supposed to return home after the battle and things would be okay again. But in the same breath, this is why you were fighting. You were fighting for your home and so the people you love could live as peacefully as they could. 

The sword felt heavier in your hand. You smiled to yourself. You still had a piece of home with you and you'd use it to better the lives of the other people you call home. 

You screamed as loud as you could in hopes Percy would hear you. “IF EVERYTHING GOES OKAY, TELL MY DAD THAT…” tell him what? You had so much to say. What could wrap everything you wanted to say together?

“... TELL HIM I MISS HIM! AND THAT I LOVE HIM!”. 

Blackjack's wings beat harder, yet he was still far. Percy wore a look of determination and you laughed. You couldn't believe he was still the young scared boy that arrived at camp when he was 12. 

“I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO!”. You smiled at him to leave him with something nice to remember. “THIS WAS FUN!”. 

You turned away from him and with as much strength as you could muster you plunged the sword through the pig’s skin. 

You felt its body crumble away and then you felt yourself slipping through the air. 

***

As one could assume, war was Ares' element and where he felt the most comfortable. There wasn't much to say about the battle. Sure, it was a battle for humanity but honestly? Ares wasn't that worried. Call it an inflated sense of self. Was it really that though when you could back up how high you thought of yourself?

As corny as it sounded, the war in his mind was much more intense. As he fought, his mind kept slipping back to what he saw in the flames. His family. His children. His home. His hope. The reason he fought. Sure he liked a good fight but he fought this giant monster with the other Olympians for his family. 

Ares is a proud man, so naturally he had faith that his children would survive the battle, but an ego could only get you so far. He knew the truth. He knew that any of his children could be crushed at any second, or squeezed to death, or stabbed, or eaten, or whatever Kronos and his army had planned. He knew that he could return to whatever was left of Olympus and he could mourn children that he had forced to become strangers. He wanted to be better. He had to be. He just needed time and that meant he needed his children alive. Especially the one that started this. 

Besides the diner, Ares had only held you once. He didn't think he'd remember it well yet somehow he could smell the cookies your mother had baked and he could remember exactly how the furniture was. He could see blinds covering the windows and the white walls lined with family photos and art pieces. He could see the black couch that sat across from the TV which sat on a table. 

And he could feel your mother place you in his arms. 

���This is your child” she had said. He looked over at her and she smiled down at you with a sense of joy and pride, which was much different to how he saw her look at you recently, with hate and contempt. 

You were so small then. Only months old, still exploring the world and having no idea how life would beat you down. You cooed as you looked up at him and shifted in his arms. He wondered if somehow you knew he was your father and that he was no threat to you. 

So small. So curious. So innocent. Now you were a warrior seasoned by the battles you had been fighting since you were a small child. 

He kept thinking about what would happen next the entire time. He knew he'd have to break his end of the agreement, but it was up to you and any of his other children to accept him turning a new page. It absolutely did NOT frighten him more than the Titan he was battling. Absolutely not. 

As Ares suspected, the Olympians and their children won the war. Kronos was gone and his armies were slaughtered. That was the best part. He didn't get the chance to have a good look at the battle, but seeing the damage the demigods caused made him proud. He hadn't seen you though, which was something he noted. 

The worst part was looking at Percy Jackson's face. Sure, he started the fight but that didn't matter! When Ares said “enemy for life” he meant it! The fact that he had to listen to Percy be praised and he couldn't beat on him right then and there made him tap his finger against the arm of his chair in discontent. 

“Lord Ares” Percy said and he could tell he hated saying the “Lord” part. It made him grin. 

“Boy?”

Percy's fist balled and Ares continued smirking. 

“I have a message from your child”. 

His smirk fell when he heard your name. A message? Did that mean… 

“They said that they missed you and loved you. They were… They…” he paused and Ares leaned forward. “They were in trouble and out of everything they could've said, they said that. They’re-” 

Ares didn't let him finish. He jumped out his chair and his feet thundered against the ground as he sped walked to the elevator. 

This couldn't be. That boy was wrong. His child was fine! He wanted to be better for them and now…?

No. No no no no! This couldn't be! He pressed the floor button repeatedly hoping that the elevator would move faster, even if he knew that's not how elevators worked. 

He lied to you once and said that gods didn't feel fear. How wrong he was. His whole body felt warm and if he wasn't pressing the button then he was tapping his fingers against his legs and if he wasn't doing that then he was pacing and if he wasn't doing that then he was imagining your limp body covered in blood. Was it at least quick?

“I love you dad”

No… 

Not his baby… 

After what felt like hours the elevator dinged and the doors opened. 

He stepped into the hall of the building. 

***

Turns out you should give Blackjack a lot more credit. 

You closed your eyes and hoped that the fall wouldn't hurt as much as you suspected it would and then suddenly your crotch hit something hard. 

“Fuck!” You exclaimed. Your eyes flew open and that's when you realized Blackjack actually managed to catch you. Percy let out a breath you suspected he was holding the whole time. 

“You don't ever do that again!” he scolded. Ironic coming from the guy who always did stupid things. 

“I hope I won't have to”. He rolled his eyes and looked back ahead of him. 

“I just knew you were gonna do something stupid. I just couldn't tell what it was at first. And don't you ever look at me like that again”

“Like what?”

“Like you want to kill something”. Once again, ironic. Percy had that same look on his face more times than you could count, but instead of arguing you kept a hand on his shoulder and said “sure Sharkboy”. 

You tried to tune out the rest of the battle to keep yourself sane. One moment you and Percy joined everyone else, then Percy and Annabeth went to Olympus and now you were sitting in the Empire State building completely exhausted. You were slumped in a chair, covered in dirt and grime when the Stoll brothers came over. 

“Guess what we have” Connor said in a sing song voice and raised his brows.

“An Advil?”. The two laughed like what you said was funny. It wasn't funny to you. Your head was killing you. 

“Even better” Travis said. “Boom!”. You hadn't noticed the bag he had on him somehow, and when he opened it your eyes were filled with candy. You looked back up at their faces, both with an ear to ear smile. 

“I thought Percy said not to snatch anything when everyone was asleep”. 

“We didn't! How could you say something like that?” The two looked at each other with faux innocence but their devious smiles betrayed them. Whatever. You were too tired to scold them and it wasn't your business that got ransacked. 

“Listen, we'd typically charge for these but since you killed that pig, you can get something for free”

You raised a brow at them and looked at them disinterested. “Or I could report you and make you take all that back”

“You won't” Travis challenged. 

Little shit was right. 

You looked in the bag for what you wanted and chuckled when you saw it. 

When you and Ares talked in the rain that night, you debated on burning a fruit roll up as an offering. You decided that was a shit offering and didn't do it, but your father saw you in the rain and came over anyway. 

Now that same flavor of fruit roll up was sitting at the top of all of that candy. 

You took it and thanked the two. They were on their way after, probably about to scam some poor kid by overcharging it. They never tried that with you or any of the other older kids. 

You pocketed the candy and used your sword to help you stand. You were exhausted. Your shoulders sagged, your back ached and you smelled like everything unfortunate in the world. You needed a shower and new clothes desperately. 

You began walking then a ding filled your ears and out of curiosity you turned from the door and looked over. 

It was him. 

By the way his eyes softened you could tell he saw you. You were done lying to yourself and convincing yourself he didn't care. You knew you saw relief in his eyes. 

Maybe Ares should've listened to what else Percy was gonna say. Maybe he was gonna say “they're fine but you should really talk to them”. Something like that. 

Ares had seen you tear up multiple times. In sadness, in anger, in betrayal. This time though? You didn't look hurt. You looked relieved. You looked like how he felt. You looked like a huge pain had been lifted off your shoulders. If before you looked like a child whose dreams were crushed, now you looked like an adult who realized there was nothing crushed that couldn't be fixed. 

You had grown up more since he last saw you. He didn't wanna miss any more years. 

“And I hope the idea of me calling you Ares instead of dad terrifies you” 

The words rang in his ears. You were right. It terrified him. It paralyzed him. He had one question on his mind. 

What would you call him?

The two of you stood facing each other for seconds but it felt longer. Both your minds were racing. You were both thinking of the past, the fact that both of you were okay, and wondering what the future would be.

You felt like a kid again. You just stared at him with so many emotions coursing through you. The main ones being joy and relief. 

Without thinking, you threw your sword to the side and ran at him. “Daddy!” You shouted with the inner voice of a child who was finally getting everything they wanted. You jumped into his arms and he caught you. His grasp was firm and he kept you close. 

You both closed your eyes and focused on each other's warm embrace. You were both okay. You were both home. Neither of you held your tears and vulnerabilities from each other. 

“I heard you were missing me” he said. You knew it was a joke but you couldn't laugh. You nodded into his shoulder. 

“I did”. 

“I missed you too” he admitted. It felt so good to finally admit. 

It felt so good to finally hear. He missed you. He cared for you. He loved you. He was holding you. 

“I don't like our agreement anymore” you mumbled. “You gonna rearrange my fingers or-”

“No” he answered firmly. He set you down and his hands held your face. “No” he said again. 

“Not gonna turn me into an ant either?” You joked. He smiled at you and pulled you into another hug.

“I love you dad”

“I love you too”. 

Ares did something he hadn't done in a while and he kissed the top of your head like he saw other fathers do. It surprised him how much happiness it filled him with. You on the other hand thought this would only happen in dreams. You were so glad you were wrong. 

Then he did something else he hadn't done in a while. 

He apologized. 

“I'm sorry”

“I know” you answered simply.

“I'm gonna be better”. 

You smiled and closed your eyes, allowing yourself to melt in his embrace. 

“I believe you”. 

Hope. 

Home. 

You two managed to hold onto hope. What others would call delusional or stupid, you called a dream. You both managed to make that dream a reality. 

After years and years of complications, heartache and frustration, you two made it. 

You two made it home. 

If y’all sexualize the reader calling Ares “daddy” I swear I will rewrite this and have the reader die a terrible death. Do NOT-

Anyway y’all IT’S HERE! We finally made it to the end! Y’all feeling as proud and emotional as I do? Originally Everything wasn’t gonna be a series. I made pt1 and was like “yeah. A simple one shot” but people wanted more and it became a series. I got 2 abandoned series for different fandoms so it’s an accomplishment I finished this one. I don’t have any new series planned right now but I wanted to say thank you for the support Everything has gotten and the nice comments I’ve received. This was really fun. Until next time! (Also I told y’all they’d get a happy ending. I know some of y’all didn’t believe me)

Taglist: @kyuupidwrites @chadmeeksmartinswifey @lebguardians @beansficreblogs @itzjustj-1000 @white-wolf-buckaroo @elsisenta @leathesimp @marshymallo @stickyfictioninwriting @asexualaromosafezone @arialikestea @1mawh0re @samoanroyalty @wolfgirl294 @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @ohlookitsasinglepoeceofpopcorn

[tainbocuailnge]

fgo is backpedalling on a feature for the first time lmao they'd expanded the append skill system to add one that increases crit damage and one that lowers the cooldown of the first use of each skill(!) but they all still cost the same amount of super rare servant exclusive currency so if you want to unlock them all you need to roll 8 copies of your bond 15 5* servant AND also not have used their excess coins on the feature they'd already introduced to turn spare coins (that now retroactively are not spare) into grails

compensation is 120 quartz (lol) and promising they're going to refund all the coins you put into grails (which they tracked apparently?) (why not retroactively hand out coins for amount of storylocked 3* then) and make it possible to swap levels from one append skill to another (bandaid solution to the real problem being that this coin system is bogus gacha bait to begin with) (they'd promised servant-independent coins ages ago)

i do think it's interesting that this is evidently where fgo players are collectively drawing the line and making enough noise that lasengle actually has to backpedal on it. I don't have any hard statistics on player activity but my anecdotal experience is that fgo is bleeding players at this point so I wonder if they'd still have backpedalled (and with such a sizeable sum of quartz) if player retention wasn't as much at risk lately. pulling out so many collaboration characters in an unusually short timespan and an incredibly long anticipated unit like summer ereshkigal with a literal affection meter mechanic and anti-ntr features that make it so you can never use her optimally if you don't roll her yourself feels like a real desperate move on their part to get people to come back. hey you left fgo to play real games like samrem and mahoyo and tsukire right look we have water saber and aoko and ciel please come back!!

fgo has been running into the limits of its fairly basic gameplay engine for years and rolling out various bandaid systems to pretend to add more depth for as many years without addressing the real issues but since there's so many other fate games getting (re)releases lately people have less reason to care about fgo specifically, because they can just pay for one of those other games once and have a complete story experience without having to do time-limited chores about it. I joked about oberon killing fgo earlier but I think realistically it's the combination of lb6 being a story high they haven't been able to reach again + samrem releasing and mahoyosweep picking up around when people were realizing fgo wasn't gonna reach that same high again. there's less and less reason to stick with fgo because there's real complete games coming out that will give you a very similar story experience and won't make you do various time-limited chores about it

ideally this will scare lasengle into making more intensive changes but they've been so stubbornly blind to the actual problems with the game for so long I'm not counting on them actually fixing those

[f1-stuff]

You mentioned omegaverse in the surreal DC reblog where he’s commenting far too much on Charles’s smell lol and it made me wonder if you’ve ever considered writing omegaverse Charlos? Do you have any interest or not so much your thing?

Love your work <33333

Hello! ❤️ I didn't used to be into omegaverse very much tbh, but something clicked in the last couple years and I started to vibe with it a lot more. I actually did start to write an abo charlos fic, that's also a Victorian-era royalty arranged marriage situation (woo that's a mouthful 😂), but I haven't added much to it in a while...

The funny thing is that I find myself forgetting it's abo while writing bc there's so much else going on, and then I have to throw in a line about someone's scent asghfjlslsdk. But anyway, I'm gonna share a little more of it now just because I feel like it's been a while since I posted a fic or a snippet...

“Charles.”

Impatience has crept into his mother’s voice by the second utterance of his name, and yet Charles still takes the time to finish the page he’s reading before clapping the (dreadfully boring) book shut and looking up at her expectantly. As usual, she doesn’t look particularly amused by his stubbornness.

“Charles, I was thinking that perhaps you and I should stay away from the palace for an additional month or so.”

“What?” he frowns. “Why?”

“To rest,” she suggests. “It’s been a very tough week, and you still don’t look well-”

“Maman,” he sighs, rubbing his temple where a headache is starting to form. Of course, he won’t tell her that. “I feel fine. And I’m ready to go home. We already missed Uncle’s birthday. We are not missing Papa’s.”

His mother doesn’t reply. It’s not the first time she’s brought it up, and it won’t be the last, but Charles isn’t losing this particular argument. Not even if he has to escape back to the palace himself. A week away from his father in his poor condition is already too much to bear, let alone the prospect of more time apart.

Charles and his mother’s retreat to their country residence had been unavoidable. The ‘very tough week’ in question is Charles’ heat, which had been brought on early due to the stress he's been under, caused by his numerous advisors' renewed efforts as of late to convince him to sign the regency order. No doubt they’ll be hoping that now, weakened by five days of fever and delirium, he’ll feel further compelled to relinquish his power to a regent in the event of his father’s death before he’s come of age.

It’s never going to happen, and his mother doesn’t need to try to protect him by hiding him away for a month either. She, along with everyone in that damned palace, treats him delicately enough as it is. Ever since he’d presented around eleven years old, he’s been wrapped in cotton wool. But just because he’s an omega doesn’t mean he isn’t perfectly capable of standing up for himself. In fact, he can’t wait to be free of the silly protective measures that were put in place almost seven years ago. The moment he’s crowned, he’s doing away with all of it.

“Really, Charles. I hope you’re not upset we had to come here. You know that it’s for your own safety-”

“Yes, maman, I know,” he interrupts, then sighs and aims a small smile her way to soften his exasperated tone. “I’m not arguing that. But I don’t need any more time to recover. It isn’t as though I do much more than this in the palace, anyway.”

Reading books, painting, playing piano and chess - there isn’t much more that he’s allowed to do. The other activities that his brothers partake in, like horse riding and archery, aren’t permitted for him, nevermind that he performed them just fine before he’d presented. That argument has never worked to convince anyone to grant him allowances because it’s not really about whether he’s capable.

“Well...if you’re certain.”

“I am,” he says, firmly. His mother nods.

Good. That’s settled, then. She speaks again before he has a chance to reopen his book.

“The other thing I’ve been meaning to discuss with you - your uncle has invited the Sainz siblings to come and stay at the palace. You met their two eldest when you were very young, but I’m sure you don’t remember.”

“No,” Charles confirms, intrigued. “Who are they?”

“Their father is a Spanish duke, and his son, Prince Carlos, is just a few years older than you. Unlikely that he will ever inherit the throne, but it is a distant possibility.”

Ah. So a marriage prospect, then. Charles bites back a sigh. From one prison to another.

“You should get to know him better,” his mother says, reading his expression.

“Why?” he asks, just to be difficult. He knows very well why.

“Because. Your Uncle Thierry thinks it’s a good idea.”

Well, if his uncle thinks it, then so it shall be.

Charles sinks further into his chair, grabbing the book he’d set aside and reopening it pointedly. His mother takes the hint. (The book may be a dull one, but at least it serves its purpose as a conversation ender superbly.)

****

“Monaco could be a very important chess piece in future conflicts,” Caco explains, leaning against the table to address his young cousin. “It is under the military protection of France, and having the force of France at our disposal could be instrumental in quelling potential unrest.”

Carlos Junior looks up at him from his seat at the desk, notes of skepticism in his expression. He doesn’t make an objection just yet - his cousin would not be telling him this unless it had come from his father directly.

Caco sets down a piece of paper in front of him. It’s a drawing of a young man who can’t be more than eighteen, his boyish features evident even in sketch form. The other thing that is undeniable is his beauty, a sense of mischief and innocence dancing in his eyes that has Carlos wondering if it’s a faithful representation.

“Is he this pretty in person?”

Caco simply gives him a look, not dignifying that with a response. “That is Prince Charles, heir apparent to the Monegasco throne, seventeen years old. In the next few weeks, you will study everything there is to know about him - his favorite novels, plays, composers. You will brush up on your French-”

“Wait, wait, cousin,” Carlos interjects, blinking in confusion. “What does a prince have to do with me?”

“That omega...” Carlos’ gaze shoots up to his cousin, brows raising. “...has everything to do with you.”

Ah. That changes things, indeed.

“As I was saying,” Caco continues, sighing. “In order to keep the prince safe, he’s been kept sheltered from his father’s court for years, ever since he was a boy. Thus, when he does make a rare public appearance, such as at the opera or ballet, his mere presence causes quite a stir.”

Carlos’ eyes return to the paper in front of him, his gaze tracing a path over the prince’s nose and settling at the elegant curve of his lips.

“You must win his favor before anyone else has the chance,” his cousin says. “The first visit in a few weeks’ time will be vital. We can afford no mistakes. But always remember, you are first and foremost a Sainz. Do not forget the reason behind all of this, no matter how ‘pretty’ his face.”

Carlos tries to bite back his smirk, but likely fails from the look his cousin sends him.

“Charm him, Carlos. Make him smile. God knows you are good at that. The rest will be up to fate.”

[eyesanddragons]

Albatross, Animus Dragons and Preventable Tragedies

(Also Known as: This tragedy was not inevitable, let's talk about responsibility)

(CWs: Murder, Abuse)

So, Legends Darkstalker as a book has a lot of thoughts about fate and inevitability. Clearsight and Darkstalker try and fail to create an ideal future for the both of them, Fathom is scared that he can't prevent his animus magic from destroying is soul, and the readers know how all of this is going to end since Legends Darkstalker is a prequel to Arc 2.

In the midst of all this talk about inevitability and fate we have...Albatross. Someone who we've known about since Arc 1 and know how his story ends. He causes the Royal Seawing Massacre, his magic allegedly "driving him insane." What's interesting about Albatross is that when you really look at his life, this historical version of it falls short in many ways. The retelling of his life leave out important context, and notably, scrub any idea that someone or multiple someones might have caused him to act like this.

It's Albatross' fault in the end, it's his fault for losing control, his fault for being "insane."

But if we take an actual look at the story in Legends Darkstalker you find that this really isn't the case.

Albatross found out he was an animus in a very...unpleasant way. He enchanted a shell to bite the claws off his sister, Sapphire. This event was deeply traumatic and would stick with Albatross for his entire life. You might be wondering why Albatross didn't fix Sapphire's claws considering his powers and I'll get to one of the reasons in a bit since it's very important to what I'm trying to say, but @/kinkajouwof breaks it down over here.

In short, most likely the reason why Albatross didn't fix it at the start is due to uncertainty if he really Could do it and because Albatross and Sapphire were terrified.

The reason more important to my point though is that Lagoon Actively Benefited from this fear. When Lagoon became Queen she would hold this action over Albatross whenever he was unwilling to do things to guilt him into following what she wanted him to do.

"This is a waste of time, Lagoon," he said. "Nobody ever tested me, but we figured out quickly enough what I could do. If any of them have a shred of power, surely they would of known by now. Or it will become obvious, sooner or later." "I'd prefer sooner," the queen said silkily. "If we find another animus in the tribe, that would make us twice as powerful, which would be quite useful given how the Mudwings and Rainwings have been behaving lately. And the earlier we find her, the sooner you can start to train her, and the sooner I can start to use her." "Besides," she added in a lower voice, so Fathom had to strain to hear her, "I think we would all prefer to discover our next animus in a less...dramatic fashion than you were discovered. Don't you?" Albatross flinched, just slightly. He cast a skeptical eye across the young. "My power is more than enough for whatever you need. I've given you everything you've asked for, haven't I? And I don't want an apprentice."

Afterwards Lagoon commands Albatross to start the test but you can see what I mean. Lagoon actively threatens Albatross and Exploits Him, and wants to find Other Animus Dragons to Exploit. He is not just a Subject to Lagoon, he is an Object to Lagoon. Non-sexual objectification.

She plans to do the same thing to another animus, Lagoon's rule was built on Exploiting the powers of the people she could Control. She wants to find them young so she could mold them into the tools she wanted them to be earlier. She wants to condition them to treat themselves as objects Now.

This treatment comes to a head during the banquet. Where Lagoon once again holds what happened to Sapphire over his head, while also threatening to Replace Him.

"Here is our first animus," Queen Lagoon said to the Skywings, who seemed to have figured that out themselves, judging by the looks of terror on their faces. "My brother, Albatross. We were just talking this morning about what his next project should be. I'm thinking big this time. Something that makes me invulnerable, perhaps. Or something that kills any dragon who might be a threat to me." Beyond Albatross, over the couches, Splash stiffened, and Fathom saw her crush one of the hibiscus blossoms between her claws. He glanced around and saw his father put a wing around Manta, who had gone pale. "Yes," Albatross said. "Although you recall I wasn't exactly enthused about any of those ideas." "Then it's lucky you're not my only animus dragon," Queen Lagoon said coldly. Fathom felt a shiver all the way down to the tip of his tail. If she asked him to do a spell like that, would he? Would he obey his queen and put his own mother in danger? Or disobey her, and perhaps put everyone he cared about in even worse danger? What would she do to Indigo If I ever said no to her? Albatross stopped right in front of the queen, snout-to-snout with her. Fathom couldn't read his face. He looked as though he'd been carved from stone, any emotions chipped away. "Do you think you're done?" Queen Lagoon said to him softly. "Do you think you'll ever be done atoning for what you did to Sapphire? It's not going to end Albatross. You'll always be mine."

This is a bit of a blunder on Lagoon's part since Albatross Kills her! She's revealed that she is Never going to let him go, that no matter how hard he works he's never going to escape. No matter what he does he will be an Object to her. Fight, Flight or Freeze, stay here and be worked to death killing hundreds of people or Escape Now.

And Albatross...chose Fight.

Note that Albatross literally says right here that he doesn't Want to make Lagoon Invulnerable, he doesn't Want to give her the power to kill people.

When he starts killing other people it's not because he became ax-crazy. He killed the Queen, no matter how horrible and cruel she was their all going to defend her...and they've never thought about him. They've never cared for him. To them he was also an Object.

So...he kills them too.

Now I'm not saying He should of killed all those people, murder is bad actually. But this is a Consequence of Lagoon and the rest of Seawing society's actions. This is the direct, real, bloody consequence of treating a person like an object designed to serve their every whim.

This wasn't something he was doomed to be, this is something that has a tangible cause and effect. The system and the way it treated him is What Caused This.

Except, none of the Seawings who survived Want to face that. They don't Want to accept responsibility for that. Why should they accept the responsibility and guilt of having lead one of their own to believe that murder was the only way to escape a truly horrific and abusive situation...when they have a perfectly convenient scapegoat. Remember...Albatross is an object. Lagoon died, not because she perpetuating a horrible abusive situation that her society allowed her to do due to the absolute power she was given, but because she handled Albatross Improperly. Animus magic is just a dangerous thing, and the people who can use it are dangerous tools. This isn't Their Fault for treating a person like an object, it's the fault of improper usage of a tool.

It's a more convenient story for everyone...except for Fathom who proceeds to be treated horribly and drown himself in guilt and shame for being Dangerous.

Seawing Society caused something horrible and instead of trying to fix it, turned their backs and pretended they did nothing wrong. When we see Anemone their doing the Exact Same Thing to her. She is an object, a weapon of war, and she will be treated as such. Anemone believes she's doomed to become evil and almost Kills her family out of the belief that she is doomed to become a mass murderer.

Albatross' Massacre was preventable, and that's what makes it tragic.

[magenta-embers]

Fetus Jimin's Blatant Crush on Jungkook

Today I wanted to travel back in time and put a spotlight on a period of utmost importance when it comes to understanding the full picture of Jikook and part of what makes it such a legitimate possibility.

Believing that they could truly be a couple now is made as easy as breathing when you observe their history. You need the whole context to take Jikook from just another ship to something potentially very real. It's a context that the other pairings in the group just don't have.

The Jimin and Jungkook we know now are settled and comfortable with themselves and with each other. You could call them domestic. But back in the day, say 2013-2015, it was a different story.

To put it simply: Jimin and Jungkook had a massive mutual crush on each other and it wasn't even remotely subtle.

Most Jikookers know what I'm talking about, but if you haven't had a chance to look deeper into the context of these two together, here's a teensy intro.

I'm gonna share a select few of my personal highlight moments exhibiting Jimin's crush + his confusion/acceptance regarding it. There are hours of moments to choose from and an image/gif limit, so we'll keep it to a minimum.

We're going to focus on the Jimin side of things today. Jungkook will probably get his own post as these two expressed their feelings quite differently.

Present-day Jimin is very good at compartmentalizing what thoughts or parts of thoughts he shares with us. He's vague in all the right areas, chooses his words carefully, omits certain details, and is overall pretty masterful at the parasocial aspect of being an idol. Back then though?

Holy sweet mother of pearl, he just said and did anything.

He was honest (embarrassingly so) and he wore his heart on his sleeve. Because of this fumbling period with no brain-to-mouth filter, there exists some incredible retrospective insight into how Jimin feels about Jungkook at his core, without all the masking and nonchalance we get nowadays.

(Let's be real though, he still slips up)

"JK is coming."

Boy 💀

Let's get into it.

~

Exhibit A

This first section is going to look at a very young Jimin's struggle with these new, unfamiliar feelings he's been having lately (not necessarily in exact chronological order but some highlights within the "budding crush" stage).

A.1

While affectionately petting the maknae's hair and nape, Jimin wonders aloud why he likes Jungkook so much, as if he likes him an abnormal amount or differently than the five other friends he has in the group. If anything, Jimin should have liked Tae the most at this point since they were friends from school. Yet, Jimin openly questions what makes Jungkook different.

It's an introspective question disguised as a rhetorical one. Obviously, Jimin doesn't want JK to answer and JK, shy as he is, doesn't know how to answer a loaded question like that so he tries to redirect Jimin's attention to actual matters. It doesn't quite work.

Jimin then says, "These days, Jungkook..." and trails off while scratching his head with lighthearted frustration as if to say, "These days, Jungkook... plagues my mind," or something to that sentiment. JK's on his mind a lot and it confuses him. He doesn't finish the sentence but instead brushes it off with a laugh.

He holds back because it'll look weird to people if he gets into how much he thinks about JK or unpacks why. Still, he can't help but start to talk about it, because it's something that's actively bothering him.

A.2

Like I said, not only does Jimin think about JK too much, but he's also thinking about how people will judge him for how he perceives Jungkook. People might think he's strange.

Why?

JK's the timid maknae with big, curious eyes. Of course, he's cute. Everyone will agree. Everyone does agree. So why is Jimin concerned with what he can say about Jungkook that's okay to others? He even pouts sadly for a moment at the end. The maknae's cute and he's kind of glum over it? He's definitely been overthinking it.

Also, the way Jimin cartoonishly moves his head and eyes while talking about how bewildered JK always is and how adorable he is for it is a hilarious attempt at being nonchalant, but to me, it just looks like a schoolboy trying not to seem gushy about his secret crush.

A.3

Jungkook's so cute and so charming that Jimin can't function like he wants to. Can't live properly because Jungkook's on his mind constantly. He's super distracting. Is this a normal friendship thing? No. You don't see Hobi or Joon saying this about him. It's a problem exclusive to Jimin. And exclusive for Jungkook.

Jimin knows it's weird too. He's acting lighthearted about it, but to randomly say, "I can't live because of you" and keep bumping into JK is his frustration bleeding through. All the while he can't take his eyes off him as if he's trying to solve his dilemma right then and there.

Overall, It seems like Jimin doesn't understand what it is he's feeling, just that it's a lot, which makes me think that up until the Jungkook point, he hadn't really considered his sexuality on a meaningful level. We know that Jimin was the least experienced romantically, so it wouldn't surprise me if that's the case.

It's okay, Jiminie. You'll figure out a lot of things about yourself sooner rather than later.

Exhibit B

This section is about a period of time when Jimin accepted his crush and became unbelievably annoying vocal about it. You could also do an essay on why he was so in everyone's face about it.

B.1

Man, he just outright said it, huh?

Jimin wants to be with Jungkook and go on a date with him and hold hands.

Okay, pack it up everyone, we're done here. He like likes him, oooooooh!

Look at him clinging to JK's clothes and merrily skipping forward holding his wrist. Bless his heart. As Jimin once mentioned, "My heart that thinks of Jungkook is quite big."

Peep everyone else's reactions. JK has no objections and is just basically making his "Yeeeeeaaaah" face. Namjoon and Yoongi are a mix of confused and exasperated, both going, "What?" at the inappropriate(?) answer. Hobi attempts a poker face.

They shove Jimin away and attempt to move on...

And Jimin comes right back, practically leaps on Jungkook to plead with him to "live happily together." Okay.

When I tell you he's embarrassing.

Now Namjoon is straight-up irritated because Jimin didn't get the hint and is ruining the interview. He rolls his eyes and shoves them both back this time like he knows he's gotta get rid of the whole equation.

Hobi's glare poker face fails and he attempts to redirect focus to the topic with his own answer, complete with a pointed hand gesture.

Yoongi has a genuine scrunch of judgy confusion as if he just doesn't get wtf Jimin is trying to do because he should know better or why he's acting so clingy right now.

Jungkook quietly preens under Jimin's attention, but it's also awkward because he can read the room, so he doesn't quite know how to react other than remain pliable. He does reach for Jimin's hand subconsciously though.

I don't think it's even necessary to keep going, but oh ho ho, we're gonna keep going.

B.2

Tae: "I think he kind of likes men."

Now, I don't love the way Tae blurts this out, putting Jimin on the spot and nearly outing him. But also, it's meant to be a joke and he likely doesn't know yet just how on the nose he really is. Tae has grown and matured a lot over the years, so forgive him for this blip.

I imagine Tae has had to sit through a lot of sus rants from Jimin about Jungkook at this point. Because it's interesting that the statement came out of him so readily as if he's considered this about Jimin more than once. He's one of the closest people to Jimin, so if he's been pondering this about his friend then it's a pretty significant observation.

Now how does Jimin react to this out-of-pocket accusation? Is it:

a) "Haha, noooo!"

b) "What are you saying?"

c) "Not like that!"

d) "Come on now."

e) He doesn't deny it whatsoever.

If you answered e, you get a sun and moon sticker. It would've been so easy and expected for Jimin to deny this claim, but he doesn't. Because he can't. Because he'd be lying. Because he does kind of like men. Especially one in particular. And Jimin is just too honest.

He does very gracefully tiptoe around a confirmation (and a shutdown of the topic) by telling Tae he doesn't like him specifically. His reflex was to be defensive of himself and how much he likes Jungkook. It also further confirms that how Jimin likes Tae (his best friend) is different from how he likes Jungkook. It's all truly very telling.

(JK's reactions are very cute, but we won't get into that here.)

B.3

Host: "You're free to go anywhere in the world with anyone you want to do anything you wish. Where are you, what are you doing, and who are you with?"

Jimin:

Really? He had this romantic-ass answer ready to go. The other members gave normal answers about family and such. Jimin could've easily. But no. He then smiles sweetly over at Jungkook. The host is actually flustered by his answer and translates what he says, but conveniently leaves out the holding hands part.

But this is a fluke, right? He just said Jungkook as a silly answer, right?

Oh, look! Another instance when he can answer with anything and still ends up being honest.

"I think Jungkook is very cute." It's his go-to answer when people ask him why he likes JK so much. People keep mentioning it because his liking for Jungkook is noticeably and abnormally loud. Yet, Jimin's usual answer isn't really a complete answer, is it? "Cute" can be part of a reason, but not the whole reason. Cute is the safe detail he can share.

Lmao at Tae's side-eye at Jimin fawning over Jungkook shamelessly. You can tell he's thinking, "...this mf likes men" again. He hasn't perfected that Tae poker face just yet.

So Jimin really wants that private trip with Jungkook, hey? Why not with Tae, his bestie? His soulmate? Tae's also very cute, no?

Because he doesn't mean a friend trip.

(Don't fret, Jiminie. You'll get your private trip with Jungkook and it'll be beyond your expectations.)

B.4

A couple of examples of Jungkook being aggressively on Jimin's mind even when he's just answering basic questions.

No one: So, what do-

Jimin: Jungkookie <3

Literally, who asked? No one's twisting his arm here to make him answer "Jungkook" with romantic implications under these totally general questions. He could've answered with literally anything else.

Some thoughts:

If he was being speedy and just writing/saying the first things that popped into his head, it still means Jungkook is at the forefront of his mind. Plagues his mind, if you will.

If he was carefully considering the questions and answering honestly, it still means Jungkook is heavily weighing in his mind at a vulnerable level.

Jungkook still came before performing and receiving attention. The first thing. Not the last thing as a joke because Jimin couldn't think of anything else.

He makes sure to stake his claim over Jungkook in his description of him. "Mine." How fanfic.

His weakness is Jungkook. He can't resist him. Point blank. Why would he say that? How else am I supposed to interpret that?

Jungkook reaches every corner of Jimin's mind. Even if Jimin manages to convince himself he's just being playful and jokey, it's the repetitive nature and exclusivity of Jungkook being involved in his answers that are eyebrow-raising and give him away. He might as well doodle hearts around "JK" all over the page. It's a textbook crush. He's infatuated with this person he thinks is unattainable.

B.5

"Happy Birthday Jeon Jungkook! Please accept my love!" followed by blowing a kiss, an awkward giggle, and a glance at Jungkook.

What love? He's already accepted your platonic love; you guys are good friends, attached at the hip, and Jungkook's made it explicitly clear he likes you a lot and appreciates how well you treat him/take care of him. What more do you want him to accept, exactly, Jimin?

Again, unnecessary. No one's making him say this. No one's expecting him to say this. No one wants him to say this. And yet.

B.6

Manifest your dreams, Jiminie.

I don't even have to explain to you how common the "We look like a couple! Haha, just kidding... Unless?" thing is. We've all been there. You want to plant the seed in your crush's head. You want them to think about it, to consider the image of you two together. Jimin's planted a whole grove in JK's head with the way he's been all over him these couple of years.

Exhibit C

The kisses.

The amount of times Jimin either asks to kiss Jungkook, asks Jungkook to kiss him, or tries to kiss Jungkook is quite frankly absurd. These are just some examples. Some!

Imagine this was your friend who keeps trying to kiss you. For years. Jokes get really old really fast. You'd laugh and play along the first time. Laugh it off the second time. Force a laugh the third time.

At what point would you start wondering if your friend has legitimate feelings for you?

At what point do you think Jungkook did?

Especially considering Jimin's general behavior toward him.

(The other members don't laugh when it happens in front of them. It's always either wtf are you saying or they change the subject with visible discomfort.)

What Jimin is doing here (via "jokes") is testing Jungkook's boundaries, gauging his reactions, because he's interested in him beyond platonic limits. He really, really wants to kiss Jungkook and fantasizes about it, but he will not make a serious first move out of fear of being rejected.

Food for thought: Post-2015, Jimin doesn't ask Jungkook for kisses anymore or beg him to love him back, while coincidentally also becoming intimately touchier than ever with each other.

Perhaps Jimin finally got what he wanted? Hmm...

~

We can stop here. I think you get the point.

Everyone, say it with me now: Jimin wants Jungkook romantically.

He wants to go on dates with Jungkook.

He wants to hold hands with Jungkook.

He wants to kiss Jungkook.

He's expressed these things in every way he can:

He's acted them out.

He's said them aloud.

He's written them down.

Over and over and over again. What more do you want? I am not assuming anything. To say that he doesn't is just blatantly ignoring poor Jimin screaming it from the rooftops to fit whatever agenda you have. It's a you problem.

If you want to see more examples of everything (because there are still plenty), just watch this. In fact, watch every video on this channel. Treat yourself.

Also thanks to this heaven-sent channel for the captions on almost everything in this post (all gifs by me).

If I see a single one of you say with your whole chest that Jimin thinks of Jungkook in a brotherly way after this, I will hunt you down and beat your ass and your brother's ass.

Open your damn eyes.

I hope you enjoyed my spiel. Till next time!

E.

[babybluebex]

kicker | joseph quinn blurb

just a little blurb about pregnant!reader and dad!joe feeling your baby kick for the first time :) i know i haven't been very active recently and i apologize about that, work and school are killing me. hopefully i can crunch out some more blurbs and just be able to post something more frequently lol

“Joe,” you called, craning your neck to direct your voice down the hall. Joe had been in his office for most of the day, in various meetings and studying scripts, and, even though you wanted him to focus on his work, this demanded his attention. “Joe!”

“Yes, lover?” your boyfriend called from down the hall, and you pressed your hand to your swollen belly, excitement bubbling in your chest. 

“Come here!” you told him. “The baby’s kicking!” 

You heard Joe quickly scoot his chair out from his desk and pad down the hallway in his socks, and you grinned when you saw him, curls spilling messily onto his forehead, his glasses perched on his nose. “C’mere,” you directed him, ushering him close to you. Your movie was all but forgotten as Joe crouched on the floor next to you, and he slowly reached his hand out for your tummy. 

“M’nervous,” Joe said softly. 

“What?” you asked. “Why?” You rubbed your belly, feeling the fluttering kicks again, and you smiled down at yourself. “It’s just your baby kicking, don’t you wanna feel it?” 

“I do,” Joe said. “But… What if something’s wrong? Does it hurt?” 

“Not really,” you told him. “It just sorta tickles, really, feels like the butterflies. If something was wrong, I think I would be able to tell. He’s just moving around, baby, that’s all.”

Joe’s dark eyes were big and wide as he swallowed thickly, and he settled his warm palm on your belly, the same stretched skin that he dutifully massaged cocoa butter into every night after your bath. Joe was already an amazing father, attentive and sweet and understanding— if you wanted something, he would get it; if you wanted cuddles, he would give them; if you gave him a list of chores to do, things you could no longer do yourself, he would do them. And he never complained. He did everything you asked him to without a single word otherwise, and it made your love for him grow more and more every day. 

The moment Joe’s hand touched your skin, that ticklish butterfly feeling came back, and you watched Joe’s face fall into one of glee, his eyes bright and a grin on his lips. “Oh, wow,” he said softly. “Hi there, Baby. It’s me, it’s your daddy. Can you tell?” Another kick landed on his palm, this one firmer, making you jump a little bit, and you tittered out a laugh as Joe let out his signature gremlin chortle. “You’re a kicker, huh? Leave your poor Mummy’s ribs be.” 

“Too late,” you grimaced in jest, and you settled your hand on top of Joe’s, lightly taking his fingers into your grasp. “Oh, Joe. That’s your baby in there.” 

“Our baby,” Joe told you, his eyes falling onto yours with a gentle gaze. “We made him together.” 

“I know,” you said softly. Another kick hit his palm, and Joe leaned forward and kissed your belly, taking in your sweet perfume before he parted. “I love you so, so much. My darling boy.” 

“Aw, hell,” Joe said, his cheeks turning pink with the praise. “Thank you, lover. I love you too. And you too, Little Man.” He kissed your skin again, and you ruffled up his hair as your son kicked again. “I wonder if he can tell it’s me.”

“Probably,” you answered. “It sure seems like he knows. He wasn’t kicking too much before you came, just once or twice. But now he’s kicking up a storm.”

Joe’s cheeks went even darker, now with the tips of his ears, and he said, “I can’t wait to properly meet you.” 

[sugarskies]

The Deca S1E3: Scandalous Scendeles || Recorded Changes

Minor word changes.

Grammar corrections.

Corrected Scendeles verbage.

Adjusted a Scendeles’s dialogue to reference Only Dead Fish.

Modified dialogue between Ushas and Millennia.

Replaced flashback with dialogue.

Let Theta say “fuck.”

Swapped passive voice to active.

Corrected typos.

Removed Epsilon from the second to last scene.

Final Word Count: -67

Barnable's Behind-the-Scenes Babbles

vansell's line about the scendeles's robe being on backwards is one of the few i've written that actually cracks me up.

i can tell from how i wrote the first scene with mortimus that i was initially hesitant to lean into his sluttiness. in the chapter i made some adjustments to be more confident in it. i am now wondering what else i might have hesitated with so far, though. i was always (and still am) very terrified to share some of my headcanons. whenever i've posted a chapter with a more significant concept i've always anxiously awaited the hate comments. 5.5 years and i haven't gotten any. thanks for accepting my goofy ideas.

to elaborate on the dialogue i modified between ushas and millennia: since writing this chapter i read doctor who and the krikkitmen and i could not stop laughing at "the potato solution for world peace." given that a potato is central to a plot in this chapter, i couldn't resist tying it in.

at one point i wrote basically "4/10 of the deca were there so the table was less than half empty" and nobody has pointed that out to me in over five years. it correctly says "MORE than half empty" now.

i was trying to figure out why jelpax&vansell have 2 plots back-to-back then i remembered that their plot in the new magnus was completely improvised as i needed a 3rd plot and they happened to be unoccupied characters as opposed to this chapter where they were always intended to be together. coincidences are a funny thing.

(i also tried to figure out why epsilon is there twice in a row and genuinely i have no idea. my best guess is that i was making some sort of jokes with my friend, his creator, at the time and it amused me to add him in. it annoys me now. i think it's overdone. get him out of here he's not a member of the deca!!! oh well. too late to remove him now.)

“Who cares?” Theta groaned. “All I see is a bad grade and a failed class.” “That’s all you ever see.” this is my favorite. petition for more of this rallon.

“Why did you stop being friends?” “Because he stopped taking showers.” this is my other favorite. no further comment.

dumb typo of the week: "ment" instead of "meant." congratulations to this typo for surviving almost 5.5 years on ao3 without correction!

especially towards the end, some of this dialogue is so clunky it's making me cringe. ouch. can't believe i got away with this.

what other rules did ushas write down? more importantly... how many of them have been broken? questions to ponder.

overall, i did not take away very much from this chapter. no open plot threads or unanswered questions that i can see.

bonus note: THERE WAS A FUCKING TYPO IN THE SUMMARY

[balanceoflightanddark]

Prompt: Fluff

Kaguya glid through her palace, making a beeline for the common room. It wasn't often her sons had summoned her with as much urgency. Already so many scenarios were running through her mind. A rebellion. Her clan having arrived. Some form of abomination crawling from the depths of the cosmos. Whatever it was, she'd be ready. Already her Rinne-sharingan was activated. Her power pulsing through her veins. Whoever that decided to threaten her nursery would feel the weight of her wrath-

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!"

Almost instantly, her ocean of chakra was cut off when she saw the smiling faces of her sons. Her hair and robes collapsed as she stared in confusion. Hagoromo and Hamura were currently NOT in panic to face some kind of new threat. Instead, they had a small parcel and some food set out on a table before her. That being said, her mind hadn't exactly caught up with the fact that there was no apparent threat.

"What?" she managed to force out.

"Uh...it's your birthday? We wanted to do something nice?" Hamura said, a bit puzzled at her mother's reaction.

Kaguya tilted her head, a bit puzzled by the festivities. Birthday. Yes, that was something some races celebrated to honor the birth of a loved one. Some of her clan did the same, though usually they were the higher-ranking members. Basically, it was an excuse to see who was most loyal and who wasn't.

All the more reason to question why her sons had decided to spring this one on her. She didn't exactly ask anyone to give her sacrifices (outside of...best not to get into that now). Mainly just some fealty and loyalty.

Which made her suspicious. "What did you two do? Blow up the mountainside again?"

"...mother, we haven't done that for months," Hagoromo answer.

"Trying to butter me up for some bad news?"

"No!"

"Break it to me easily that you screwed up somehow?"

"Mom! We're just trying to say happy birthday!"

Kaguya glared. "Explain. Now."

Both of her sons sighed in exasperation. "Mom. This-this is something humans do sometimes," Hagoromo explained. "We just wanted to do something nice. That's it."

He didn't seem like he was lying. A quick check with her Byakugan detected no lies. Or at least nothing she could see as a lie. Hagoromo, bless his soul, was pretty bad when it came to lying. And it was her birthday. They were asking about it pretty frequently as of late.

A soft sigh left her lips, realizing she had gotten worked up over nothing. "Very well. You can...do what it was you wanted to do."

She let them go through the motions. Ate the food they prepared (which admittedly was delicious). Listened to their bantering. A warm chuckle left her from time to time, sometimes out of a formality. Others were more genuine. Most of the time though, her face fell into that neutral mask she had perfected over the millennia. Should she be celebrating her birthday of all things? It had been so long, and ever since she was assigned to be Isshiki's "partner", she assumed they simply didn't have a place anymore for her.

Granted, she always made sure to celebrate her sons' birthdays. She just didn't imagine it would be turned around on her.

"So, we were wondering, and don't take this the wrong way or anything: how old are you now?" Hagoromo asked.

Kaguya leaned back, feeling the weight of her kimono on her shoulders along with the years. Quite honestly, she stopped counting a long time ago. She did remember that she was born on a cold world somewhere in the distant past. She remembered her parents. There was a lot she did remember. And yet, she never was able to put a number of years behind it. When one was immortal, it seemed like time didn't much have much meaning other than knowing you'd be in your prime forever while your loved ones got old.

"I can't remember", she answered. It was an innocent question, but she knew it was long enough that birthdays didn't account for much anymore.

Course, Hamura with his loving smile didn't see through the mask and just pushed forward a gift and a card. "It's something we found together. Figured you might appreciate it."

Her delicate fingers tore open the wrapping, beholding a pearl attached to a necklace that shined in the candlelight. It was enough to take her breath away. "It's...beautiful. Where did you get it?" she asked.

"Found it amongst an ancient skeleton. Locals said it was a dragon," Hagoromo answered.

A dragon? Kaguya thought. There had been many rumors of ancient beings that died out long ago. Supposedly they were the ancestors of the great serpents she sometimes came across. No one quite knew why they died out, but they were supposed to be unbelievably powerful and wise.

She took the jewel and placed it around her neck. Even now, she could feel some kind of warmth within. As if the previous owner wasn't entirely dead...

"That looks beautiful on you," Hamura answered.

Kaguya suppressed a giggle. "Please. Don't tease your mother." She knew he was speaking the truth, but it did feel nice to mess with him every now and then like she used to. That was becoming increasingly rare these days.

Pushing that aside, Kaguya opened the card next to the gift. It was simple, with a sketch of the stars and heavens on the front. Opening it, she found the following message inside:

Dear Mother,

Thank you everything for what you've done for us. We know it's not easy bearing the world's burdens on your shoulders, and we understand we might not agree on all things. But we do know deep down that you do care for both us and the world. Even if you don't show it sometimes, we know you have a heart. Just know we're always here to lend a hand if things get too tough.

You're not a demon. You're our mother, and we couldn't be more grateful.

With Love,

Hagoromo and Hamura

She closed the card and looked at her sons. Her beautiful, kindhearted sons. Her heart panged. She didn't deserve this adoration. If they knew the truth...

Kaguya embraced both of her sons in a big hug, and they hugged her back. Tears ran down her eyes. She didn't want to let go. She didn't want the two best things in her very long existence to just slip away. So she hugged them tight, hoping beyond hope they'd always stay by her side.

"Thank you. Both of you," she whispered, hoping this moment could last forever.

Millennia of existence told her that it wouldn't last. Best to savor it now while she still had time.

[galaxyedging]

Marcus Pike x f!reader

Warnings: talk of anxiety, antidepressants, side effects, and worries.

Summary: A little ficlet/personal piece on antidepressant use with fluffy Marcus.

WC:616

Banana Pancakes

The canvas sat in front of her as blank as it had been the day she bought it. For a while, she pondered how it mirrored the void inside of her. The difference was that the canvas had clearly defined edges. The void within her was hazy.

It seemed to shift and blur and cloak her passions, sometimes consuming them completely. For a while, it stole her passion for Marcus. His late night visits never went further than cuddling on her sofa. At the time, he was caught up in a big case, so he often came to her bone tired and wary. If he noticed her lack of desire for him, he never mentioned it. Or the fact when it returned that her body didn't react to him the way it usually did.

Her latest passion to be consumed was for her art. There were fleeting moments of inspiration, an itch of an idea at the back of her mind, the tug of the lure of creation then…nothing. Days went by when she didn't even think about her art or anyone else's. Gallery shows came and went. Books and articles piled up unread. She missed the thrill of discovering a new artist. She missed the rush from creating. The little blue pill from her doctor was supposed to lift her mood. In some ways, it had. Her anxiety had lessened. Her days passed easier without the burden of a busy, over cautious mind. The pill was helping, yet she wondered if it was worth what she had lost. The power of creation. The connection she felt with others through their artist expression. The joy of seeing the world anew through the eyes of others. The shared interest with her love.

Marcus found her sitting in her workspace. She almost didn't hear him letting himself through the side door. His footsteps on the concrete floor of the converted space alerted her, and she fixed her posture. Instead of being slumped and staring into space, she sat up and looked purposefully, seemingly deep in thought. Marcus's arms wrapped around her waist, his lips touched her shoulder before he nuzzled into her neck. His hair is soft under her fingertips as she lean into his affection. The words tumble out before she really thinks about them. The confession that's been on the tip of her tongue this past month. Just after she and Marcus exchanged 'I love yous' for the first time as her brain couldn't fully enjoy the moment.

"...What if this is me now? What if that passion never returns? What if that part of my life is done and I lose those connections? To my friends…to you?" All those secret worries were out now.

Marcus was quiet for a moment before drawing her every further back into his arms. His heat and strength pressed reassuringly to her back. "Or what if this is another phase, albeit slightly longer, and on the other side, you gain so much more? Your passion coupled with a lighter heart and mind? For the record, our connection goes much deeper than a shared love of art."

"I would hope so." She managed a chuckle with tears in her eyes.

"Of course it does. We also have our love for banana pancakes." His smile bloomed against the skin of her neck. "Come on, I'll make you some."

Sat at the kitchen table with Marcus humming as he flipped another batch of pancakes, the first spark of inspiration flared under her skin. The fine hairs on the back of her hand stood up. When Marcus's hand came to cover them, she felt a renewed hope. For her art. For her life.

Author's note: This is a little drabble on why I haven't been relentlessly tagging you guys in the craziest of shit from my brain lately, or been very active here.

Tags: @kirsteng42 @prolix-yuy @thegreenkid2 @hquinzelle @fangirl-316 @gracie7209 @jedifarmerr @doommommy @scorpio-marionette @sturkillerbase @harriedandharassed @aynsleywalker @mswarriorbabe80 @rise-my-angel @adancedivasmom @kinda-nobody @movievillainess721 @munsonownsmyass @mandoloriancookie @faceache111 @elegantduckturtle @manazo @simpingcowboy @pedrit0-pascalit0 @yourcoolauntie @pedrostories @geekrenaissance @its-nebuleuse @sherala007

[neoninky]

Writer Thoughts (I used to keep count but who knows anymore)

Hey y'all~ how is everyone?? Normally I'd be working on the next chapter of 'Her Devoted Shield' today BUT....I'm doing something a lil different than my norm. First, the flagship fic of my Sacred Crown TWST Canon x OC series, 'Her Ivory Crown', was started and finished in 2021. On paper, not that long ago, but it feels like a lifetime ago. Plus three years in internet time is basically a hundred years lol. Why do I bring that up, you, (your name here), may be wondering? Welp I woke up today with the best AO3 notifications waiting for me in the email: the 'someone commented on yo fic, babyyy!' notifications. Ah, chef kiss. To my surprise - it was on Her Ivory Crown. So my first thought was "damn people still read this??" Surprise part 2: I checked the stats and Her Ivory Crown has 7100 hits???! DAYUM, people still read this!

So before I say anything else - to everyone who has read and still reads Her Ivory Crown (or any of my fics frankly), y'all are the REALEST thank you thank you thank you! ;u;

I have no idea what anime that gif is from if anyone knows tell me cuz it looks SO CUTE

SO with that said-*rewinds back to the part about doing something different*- I've been thinking of my other girls who were introduced in Her Ivory Crown but haven't been in the spotlight as much yet. My readers know Reine, Elise, the Cerith Sisters, and their whole crew. Reine keeps making cameos cuz she's the OG waifu who is a literal queen, but her story is pretty much complete as is the Mercrew's. So while I'm also working out details for Petra's far more complicated story, I think my other girls should have their turn(s).

Initially, I had planned for each girl to get their own full-blown stories like Reine, Elise, and now Petra. However, with that said, while the Princess Trio's stories are more grand in scale, and sometimes way darker and adventurous, my other girls' stories would be more slice of life, down to earth. Which may not call for a 16+ chapter story like the others. Granted I could prove myself wrong on that but even so, they would still have their own short(er) stories about how they and their canon bois got together. I have ideas in mind, some that are very K-Dramaesqe and I do love me a good K-Drama lol. Which honestly, I've been craving the latter lately. I'm still gonna work on Petra's story cuz I like finishing what I start. But today, I'm changing gears and writing for one of my other girls. Who up first? ..... ...........

Scarabia fans rejoice - your time is now. We goin to the country of Scalding Sands and Hot Bois, babyyyy lol

Normally I put shorter stories in my Sacred Crown Shorts entry on my AO3 page since it's supposed to be more like an anthology. But not this time, oh no, the Almascaber/Scarabia adjacent girls are getting their own posted story: 'Her Third Wish'

So be on the lookout for that and thank you again so much for your likes/kudos, comments, and general enjoyment of my fics. Hope y'all have a good day!

*jumps down the writing rabbit hole*

tagging peeps activated: @nuitthegoddess @wysteriadelights @thosebrookfieldgirls @iscarlettappel @foxwitchaine @victoria1676 @yunaemiya @feldya @ladyrosemoon @1ndigowitch @shironakuronatasa @sapphireblaster3000 @valy-gc

[reptileofdoom]

Public PSA and Callout Of Hawkshadow/Luna: A Continued Pattern of Hurt and Manipulation PART 2 of 2

If you haven't read part 1, it is linked HERE:

If you have, then where we last left off, I had been guilted into continuing a friendship that was actively detrimental to my mental health; eventually causing a very bad anxiety attack over a small issue, over which I was gaslit to hell and back with Luna's insistence to berate me, causing in me accepting all fault and blaming myself for the incident.

After this, there weren't any large fights until January. This was for 2 reasons:

a) I had received anxiety pills from my psychiatrist, which I started using anytime a conversation with Luna would make me very anxious again

b) During the period of late November - end of December, she became busy on working on her large holiday fic. Our conversations became more sparse as she was, apparently, completely consumed by it.

But we were brought back together as Luna, out of nowhere, suggested working on a fic together.

This was... weird to me. For context: Luna and I had attempted to work on fics before. We'd have an idea in DMs, talk about it, create a shared doc, and then... NOTHING from her. I am not joking when I say I would write up to 4 thousand words in a document without a single contribution from her. This was back at the beginning of our friendship. As a result, I had given up on ever writing anything with her. So for her to just suggest working on a fic together out of the blue was... really weird.

(Side note: Luna and I had a lot of fic ideas in our pinned messages. At the time it completely slipped my mind that the only reason I brought up a/b/o had been because I'd just read a fic and wanted to talk about something similar. So our discussion of the idea happened months ago - it was only after the whole fiasco was over that I remembered, oh shit, it had originally been inspired by something else. So I apologize for the unintended idea stealing.)

I am including the following screenshot as 1 - proof we really did talk a lot about so many ideas; and 2 - as the most likely theory for why she was suddenly up for writing a fic with me.

She wanted to write something, but didn't think she would have time to do it by herself. So she hit me up. This becomes ironic later on because she ended up completely destroying my ability to work on the fic.

Bonus: her changing things I myself had written in the fic and only asking me if it was okay afterward. I... didn't really feel like I could disagree and argue with her.

In the middle of everything, an event occurred which I can only refer to as The Like Drama. This event is going to have its own post because it spans 10 screenshots and is, even more than anything in this whole series of events, incredibly inane, hard to follow, and it's insane it was ever made a big deal in the first place. It is, however, a very fantastic example of Luna's casual manipulation and general obsessiveness with public image.

The Like Drama post HERE:

Back to the fic saga:

A short time after this, after editing my words and only asking permission afterwards, I was scrolling Twitter and an announcement Tweet from Luna popped up on my timeline. (I don't have the capacity to go make an alt and try to search through her account for it, but it was public and many people can certainly remember it.)

It read, in summary: that she was working on an omegaverse fic and to stay tuned. A couple of things to highlight, specifically:

a) there was no mention of me, or any co-author in the tweet

b) this tweet was made without any sort of discussion with me

c) I have an Actual Massive Trigger around pressure; something I would talk about extensively in her server. Both Raelle and Cass (vegaspetesupremacy / sketchyshit) are willing to back me up on this. It used to be so bad that I could not tell anyone what I was working on, otherwise I would be unable to finish it.

(if anyone is wondering about the legitimacy of such a trigger - I used to attend a massively abusive private school for almost 8 years. It fucking sucked.)

Luna knew about this trigger. And not only did she post a tweet like that, in what follows after, she proceeds to stomp all over my boundary.

On January 19th I woke up to the message that a friend had committed suicide.

At the same time, the fic had gone up during the night - but it wasn't what I focused on because I was emotionally broken up. I made a Twitter post about taking some time off to grieve.

After crying, I was left alone with my thoughts. And my email notifications were pinging with people commenting on the fic. So I thought: why not reply? Luna had previously mentioned finding comment replies draining; I felt like I could do something useful.

And this is where things went wrong. As mentioned, I was not in a good headspace. So when some comments featured the typical begging for more ie "please please write a chapter 2!!" I was very blunt with reinforcing my own boundary; telling them quite frankly that it's uncomfortable and if they keep going, I will block them.

Were my replies graceful? No. But I was grieving and did not have the capacity to care.

Here is my final conversation with Luna, after which we never spoke again.

That's it. That's the end of our conversation.

Luna did not reply to me for 2 entire days. During this time, she wrote and published a drabble for one of the commenters.

Formerly, this conversation also had a message or two from me along the lines of "Luna? Please respond, please." I deleted these after seeing that. (That entire conversation, I was waiting on a single "I'm sorry for your loss" from her; at one point I specifically tried to allude to my situation to see if she knew, but she did not acknowledge it.)

After 48 hours, I unfollowed Luna on Twitter and left her server; mostly to see if it would make her react.

In response, she hard-blocked me. She chose her followers and fame over our friendship for good.

During this 48-hour period, I had also thought to message Raelle regarding my general frustration, almost as a last call for help. Because to be clear: this interaction left me sobbing and wailing on the ground. In essence, I had lost two friends on a single day. I could not fathom why she was treating me this way, what horrible thing I may have done to deserve this.

Not to be sappy, but: I really, really want to be clear how much I owe to Rae. She allowed me to vent and show her what happened: I asked her multiple times if I was out of line, because I thought it must be something I had done. She was my first outside perspective on my interactions with Luna; she was the one to tell me "you don't deserve to be treated like this." Without her, I would have probably ended up crawling back and begging Luna to forgive me, possibly trapping myself in months more of miserable friendship.

And here is something incredibly scary: If Luna had just.. given a single reply. Just a single "Wait for me a few days, we'll talk later." I wouldn't be here right now.

Even months after everything happened, I was still wracked by guilt and felt like I would sacrifice anything just to have that friendship back. My friends had to talk me down, sometimes, from messaging her begging her to take me back. After the first few days, I unblocked her on Twitter and kept her unblocked for close to a month - just in case that maybe, possibly, she ever wanted to talk to me again.

I'm not under any illusion as to what this treatment is comparable to. Some people, when shown everything, have told me the word "abuse" could apply - but I hesitate to use it, and am actively choosing not to include it as an accusation; because it is heavy and loaded and I do not want anyone to misunderstand.

Unfortunately, the story doesn't end here.

After leaving the work, something happened: despite me leaving, Luna had not edited the Author's Note to include mentioning me. In fact, it almost seemed like she wanted to avoid mentioning me; since the fic has been deleted, I am including proof through old DMs with Raelle (me reacting to this situation). (I become quite angry in these screenshots. I apologize for the name-calling.)

Quick context for what I mention here: After I became unable to work on the fic, Luna would reassure me "it's fine, you already did so much" when I expressed guilt. So... yeah, seeing this comment was a betrayal. PLUS the fact she froze it.

So, in my anger and frustration I decided to make a Twitter post; SOLELY because of the no-credit issue. At that point, I didn't want to expose Luna's treatment of me because I still had trouble accepting that it wasn't mostly my fault.

Here is the post I made, which turned into a thread as she made her own thread and misrepresented what I said: https://twitter.com/reptileofdoom/status/1616908647048613888?s=20

As a response to this, Luna created her own thread which she started sending to everyone. And not just everyone she knew, but asking those people to share it with everyone they know. (The thread has since been deleted, presumably after people pointed out inaccuracies and/or she realized she was just giving the issue more publicity.) The main piece of misinformation in the thread was her claiming I was credited in the Author's Note: this only became true after my post went public and she did it, presumably, as a way of covering her ass.

Proof, provided by kiwibin (thank you so much):

(shown through discord search because the chat was extremely active at the time and there are a million unrelated messages)

Additional proof of the thread being sent to Rae, her defending me to Luna, and Luna's response (screenshots provided by Raelle, thank you so much):

Bonus points: Misgendering lol. You only have my word on this, but her thread also featured a screenshot of a conversation with one of the "upset commenters" who misgendered me and Luna did not correct them, instead reassuring them she still loved them or whatever. She posted it as proof of how much I upset her followers.

These next images are of Rae crafting her response at the time, but it is what she ended up sending:

(As mentioned before, Rae is an angel.) (Cut off because stupid image limit, so I had to prioritize more important conversation.)

Finally, last of all:

There is a reason I have called all this a "continued pattern." In the time afterward, as I was dealing with my own emotional fallout and had trouble processing everything, I reached out to someone Luna had mentioned to me as a "former best friend (who abandoned her)." The conversation was... illuminating, and gives information about Luna's time in her previous fandom, MDZS.

Thank you so much, lunarwriter, for allowing me to add your voice to this.

As mentioned in these screenshots, there is a pattern:

Luna approaches someone, usually someone with some sort of "value" - either with many followers, or because of their writing/art. (in some ways, I was the exception: she messaged me because we wrote an impromptu threadfic in replies) (this would later be turned into her fanfiction Mortifying Ordeal, once again without credit to me, which I didn't think to question at the time. )

She pulls them into her circle. When we were friends, it was "invite them to the server" - which may be dead now because I was the one usually working very hard to keep it from going dead. But this part features a lot of compliments, asking to sprint together, gushing about how she loves their work, messaging a lot, etc.

Then comes the part where she gets value out of someone. Last I heard, she was doing it through collabs.

Here is where it gets... fuzzy because this part is usually in DMs. But people I have spoken to have mentioned experiencing some form of manipulation or another, usually to satisfy Luna's ego - constantly comparing followers, statistics, etc. Or in my case, becoming a sort of sounding board, someone to be a cheerleader for her and constantly comfort whenever she needs it - but heaven forbid I ask for some comfort back.

Just to be clear: the amount of manipulation used varies person to person.

Since I was vulnerable and easily taken advantage of, she used a heavy hand with me: which is why she was able to completely destroy me in such a relatively short amount of time.

If you are someone who is older, or has more "star power", maybe you haven't noticed these things! Or she hasn't felt the need to use it on you! Or you are special, or I am somehow mistaken about everything.

There is a very good reason why, in our final conversation, I pointed out she would not be acting the same way toward me if I was older and had "popularity."

At the end of the day, Luna is someone who, when allowed power over someone else, uses it to hurt people over and over again.

I expect her response to be something like this: Pick a point or two to focus on, ones where it was harder to find proof, or ones where I did not think to include some related conversation beforehand. Make her entire point around that. Claim I am trying to hurt her; paint herself as the victim. Vent to everyone around it, make very sad posts, share her inevitable "defense" with everyone. (If I'm wrong, I'm gonna donate $20 to charity. Not joking.)

As mentioned before, this isn't a call for "cancelling" or whatever. First and foremost, it is a PSA, a way to show these techniques and to help people guard against them more effectively. Second of all, it is a way for me to heal: the nature of everything made it hard to talk about these things openly without having proof lined up. By making this post, I am allowing myself to open up, to be clear about my boundaries, to be able to be honest with people and say "sorry, I can't follow you because you reblog her stuff sometimes and that makes me have panic attacks." Yes, there is some small amount of petty satisfaction to be made making this post; but that is only its very last purpose.

I want to end the post on some positive information:

I am doing alright now. I was able to move out in March and adopted a kitty in April. I am in therapy and have been able to discuss this whole issue extensively. I have a close friend group within the fandom now, who I have been able to rely on, again and again. Thank you so much, everyone - you know who you are <3

And I was going to end with an image of the kitty but :c hit image limit. So, have a good day, everyone.

[funbirdnest]

Atlantis - Below the surface chapter 1

(The first year of ES's establishment. Early February. The morning after Himemiya Tori had a nightmare—At the ES building; inside Starpro's office.)

Yuzuru: —Sanctuary is closing?

Well, it is what it is... I guess it can't be helped. Mankind wasn't quite ready for that strange amusement park.

Eichi: It's unlike you to rush to conclusions so quickly, Yuzuru.

No, I suppose you were simply speaking your mind. Still, it's unusual to hear you say something like this.

I really like Sanctuary, but it turned out to be quite unpopular in the industry... especially among active idols.

I'm well aware that a considerable amount of people out there would prefer to pretend it doesn't exist in the first place. It seems that you're one of them, Yuzuru.

Nevertheless, I still believe that it's a worthwhile enterprise that will increase the number of idol-related job opportunities and encourage newcomers to enter the industry.

Yuzuru: As I said earlier, Eichi-sama's ideas are too innovative; most people cannot grasp even their core concept.

And, of course, that includes the smug servant standing before you.

Saying this to you, Eichi-sama, may be akin to lecturing the Buddha himself, but people generally avoid the unknown and that which they cannot understand.

Eichi: I wonder whether that will actually be an issue. I'm used to responses like that—Besides, most people will probably keep their mouths shut if Sanctuary actually begins making money.

Profits—immeasurable amounts of money—have the power to dissolve all human reason.

That's why, even though many wise people preached in opposition to it, no one was able to prevent the Great Depression.

It's the same reason why gambling has never fallen out of fashion. Fufu, well, now it sounds like we're talking about Crazy:B instead of fine.

Anyway, there are no plans to close Sanctuary. It hasn't even officially opened yet, after all.

There's no sense in closing it before it has made a return on investment. And it's not as though I've experienced any major issues with it.

Yuzuru: If only you had said that from the beginning. You have been adding unnecessary embellishments to each of your responses.

Eichi: With Wataru absent today on theater business, I've been starved for a conversation partner.

Yuzuru: Did you really call us here simply because you wanted someone to talk to?

Eichi: No, by no means, I'm not that lonely. I have an actual reason.

Thanks to this bad habit of mine, I keep dancing in circles around the subject... But, to begin with, Sanctuary is—

Tori: —Yaaawn... Mm.

Eichi: Tori. You're not acting like yourself today. For you to yawn like that... Is something the matter?

It's quite improper. You've always been so well-behaved around me.

You've been silent this whole time and you seem quite sleepy... Perhaps you didn't sleep well last night?

Tori: Eh!? Aaah, I'm sorry, Eichi-sama! That was super embarrassing!

Eichi: It's alright, because Wataru Number 2—I mean, Yuzuru—was listening to what I had to say.

Yuzuru: I will pretend that I did not hear that unpleasant error.

Eichi: What an exemplary butler.

Tori: I-I'm sorry, Eichi-sama. I haven't gotten much sleep lately because I've been having nightmares.

Yuzuru: Yes. Bocchama awoke me quite late last night... And then he clung to my chest and cried like a little baby.

Tori: Hey, can you stop telling stupid lies? You know I'd never do something that embarrassing, right, Eichi-sama!?

Yuzuru: Forgive my impertinence. I was relaying the contents of my own dream.

Tori: Don't have dreams like that! Groooss! Super gross!

Yuzuru: Fufu. Even I am unable to control the contents of my own dreams.

Eichi: This all sounds very interesting. Are you familiar with the art of dream interpretation?

Tori: D-Don't fall for it, Eichi-sama! I feel like if you dig any deeper into Yuzuru's dream, something scary is gonna happen!

Eichi: It's not my intention to ignore your request by elaborating on the subject, but it's been said that a person's heart is laid bare in their dreams. Well, there's probably no real basis to those beliefs, though.

By projecting a favorable interpretation onto someone's dream, you can lighten their spirit, even if only slightly. That's one of the selling points of fortune telling.

Getting to feel better without medication—that's a good deal, isn't it? So, as long as it's alright with you, why not tell me about the dream you had?

Tori: I mean—no matter what, dreams are just dreams. You usually forget them as soon as you wake up.

Well... In my dream, I felt like I was sinking endlessly to the bottom of the sea.

It was just a dream, but it was so painful and cold—and way too dark to see anything. It was really scary.

Eichi: The sea? Hm, this is quite the strange coincidence.

Yuzuru: What do you mean?

Eichi: To be honest, it's probably hasty of me to tell you this now, but—There are plans in the works to build something akin to a second Sanctuary.

That's why I called the two of you here today—I wanted to talk to you about it.

Yuzuru: A second Sanctuary? Eichi-sama, is it your intention to create another bizarre amusement park?

Eichi: Yes. And I plan to build this amusement park under the sea.

[postalninja]

Fic Author Q&A

Tagged by @cicaklah - thanks babe! (sorry if my answers end up vague or unsatisfying, it's past midnight and i would be in bed if there wasn't a music festival currently happening outside my window - I"m not exactly at my best lol)

1. Why do you write fanfic?

It started from the desire to make fictional characters kiss, which is still a large part of why I do it, so let's go with that.

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is “finished”?

I don't really know - I tend to think about a lot of my stories pretty often after they're finished, I'm not sure that there is a specific one I fixate on. They all get a bit of time in my brain, and i tend to go and re-read stuff too.

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

S l o w d o w n. Don't be afraid of big word counts, it'll take as many words as it takes, and rushing toward the finish line will just make the pacing suffer. Make room for the moments in between, let the story breathe.

4. What’s your relationship to fic stats?

Lately I've found that not looking at them in too much detail is better. Over the summer I found myself looking at my stats for validation, and of course, not finding it there. But the problem is in my head, not on the stats page. So they are just numbers that are there, and if I need to check something specific, then that's a useful thing to have.

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

I've really fallen off of writing for Hitman over the past couple of years, with only one short ficlet as a recent offering. It's one of the fandoms were my muse has been fleeting, but the fandom is so wonderful that I miss being a more active participant in it.

6. What motivates you to write?

Lately I have a pretty hard time writing without having clear inspiration, so that's the most surefire motivation is just being struck by an idea that grabs me and won't let go until I get it down on the page. But that sort of inspiration is hard to come by, so I haven't been writing very much in its absence.

7. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

In most cases it's because I have a ship I'm obsessed with, and if not that than just general love for the game (it's almost always a game, let's not kid ourselves) and the characters. It's hard for me to write for a fandom unless I'm at least a little bit unhealthily obsessed with it.

8. If you’re stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

Normally I will take a break, and some of those breaks have turned out longer than others... I have a few unfinished wips that are an albatross around my neck, and I'm not sure how to go about finishing them.

9. What do you wish people knew about comments?

They are all an author wants! We want to hear about what you liked and why, and given the chance we would talk your ear off about our fics, so don't ever feel like you're bothering an author by commenting something nice on their fic, we are looking for that engagement and validation.

10. Maybe there’s a question you wish had been on here. What’s that question (and answer)?

What's something you've been excited about/feeling good about recently with your writing? One thing I will mention is that a few days ago I went back and read a bunch of free writing exercises I did for a class last semester that i hadn't looked at since - I had completely forgotten about most of them, but when I read them again the majority of them were so good! It kind of bolstered my confidence that I had that kind of quality output from 10-minute warmups where I wasn't thinking too hard. Like, even though I haven't written much lately, I still know how to write!!

Not tagging anyone specific, just whoever want to do it because I am too tired to think and decide :)

[colorlesschristmastree]

I was wondering who ran the justfeysand acc? it’s no longer active & i loved that account for us feyre girlies 😭 or queerincrisis too who i used to love. i’ll never forget when of the coolest people deactivated from fandom and their name was hotdiscodauce ..wherever you are hotdiscosauce feyre girls miss you. cant even blame people for saying “fuck this” lmao. i love feyre too much to crumble though so i suffer thru the toxicity of this fandom just to ride for my girl !!

the only thing that could make me inactive is if she doesn’t do shit in hofas while nesta’s mid self gets a pov while also being randomly paired with bryce when really that should be feyre. if the pregnancy ends up as a plot device to sideline her or the bargain i know ill be pissed and leave. especially if she has no cute scenes with bryce. just bc they aren’t that similar doesn’t mean i want to see bryce with nesta and bryce of all characters. and it better not just be rhys in the spotlight for hofas with amren sjm since only they know the language

Hiii! So sorry for responding late to this but I actually have the answers to your ails! Justfeysand was ran by my sweet sweet moot who has just become a little busy and less interested in SJM recently. Fear not though my dear anon for she is still here in the form of @moonfyre-s!! Aggressively defending our high lady Feyre and also giving us some darklina and miscellaneous content.

And the lovely aqueerincrisis is still here as well!! You can find them dishing out their hot takes on @acourtofcriticalthinking! Dw nonnie, our love for Feyre will always be there even as our interests and lives change :)

Honestly I'm very aware of the fact that I haven't been as active lately and I feel really bad about it, I still do reblogs and such but I just haven't been making as much original content recently. I've been trying to cut down on the anti content I post here and keep more of my criticisms in the Feyre server, I don't have a lot of energy to actually argue on here like I used to so I just talk my shit over there. Once cc3 comes out and I get Feyre crumbs though I swear I will be back to yapping, I just need more juice for my inspiration to come to me.

Some people in the Feyre server and I might be rereading the series after we've all wrapped up cc3 though so I'll def make some content during that. :) And I completely agree with everything you said, I don't really care that Nesta is going to be talking with Bryce as it is just a bonus chapter and I'm of the belief those genuinely aren't that important and only exist for marketing and to possibly build some excitement about certain things, I just hope that during their brief time in cc3 all of the acotar characters Feyre get treated well and we get some interesting scenes from them.

I'm not really a fan of cc3 theories that put one acotar character as objectively more important than others in the grander scheme of the SJM multiverse. I think they're all just cogs in one large machine and all these theories saying "X character is actually going to be the key player because of Y reasons!" is always silly to me. Tbh I'm not really a huge fan of the acotar characters becoming things outside of the context of their own universe/stories (if that makes sense)? Why can't they just be helping Bryce out? Why must one of them secretly be the key to everything? Or the Mother? Or the CC gods? Or a prince of Hel? BLAH!

anyways I got off track! It's so sweet that you noticed those two blogs were missing and they were both very touched when I told them I had an anon reach out to inquire about their wellbeing. You're a sweetheart!