#if you were wondering where I get my Ted from this should give you a good idea

[its-time-to-write]

how about a Jamie x reader fic when they go away to Amsterdam they sit together on bus and they wake up cuddling and then there’s an issue w hotel booking and there’s a one bed trope and they end up waking up cuddled together and then they admit feelings and reader goes to game with a tartt jersey on <3

I’ve been thinking about this forever, and I’m terribly sorry it took so long!! I do enjoy being an adult, but I’m at a point in life where I don’t have much free time and if I do, I use it to sleep😂

I really miss the days when Ted Lasso was still airing and the x reader tags had new content every day. I feel like that one meme of Thanos when he’s like “Fine. I’ll do it myself.” Shoutout to all y’all who are still here and reading my stuff! Love you!!

smile at me

It’s straight-up fucked. It really, really is. But also maybe it’s good, as Keeley pointed out, because not having a boyfriend anymore means you can focus on yourself?

Or something. 

Of course he had to break up with you right before leaving for Amsterdam. Hell, he broke up with you because you were leaving for Amsterdam. 

“I don’t want you going to another country with a bunch of other guys,” he had said. “It’s them or me.”

“It’s literally my job,” you told him. 

Apparently, that didn’t matter. 

But what-fucking-ever, you’re at Keeley’s waiting for a car to take you to the airport, and she’s promised to make sure you don’t think about your stupid ex even once. 

It’s times like these you wish Ted were still here with a spot-on pun and some dad-type advice. All you ever get from Beard is a weird anecdote and a vaguely threatening look. 

Keeley chatters on for the entirety of the ride to the airport, through customs, and all the way to the lounge. 

“You’re gonna get loads of great content for the socials, babe. Candids, action shots, behind-the-scenes. Friendlies are fucking amazing!”

Last time Richmond were in Amsterdam, they had lost horribly. They’re hoping to make up for it this time around. 

The plane is full of Greyhounds, both footballers and coaches alike, with Rebecca at the very front. Keeley plops done in the seat next to her as Dani waves at you from the middle. 

“I saved you a seat!” he calls. You smile as Sam takes your bag to put it in the overhead. “Thanks, Dani. You excited?”

Dani grins. “I think this time I am ready to see a whole field of tulips!”

You laugh as the lads roll their eyes. Jamie leans across the aisle toward you and says, “Oi, what’s the twat doing while you’re away?” 

You press your lips into a thin line. “Not a clue.”

He raises an eyebrow and says, “You break up with him?”

“He broke up with me.”

Jamie twists his face into a scoff. “And you wonder why I call him the fucking twat. Prick. Bet it was so he could finally fuck his coworker.”

You shrug. Jamie’s never liked your boyfriend. It’s not like you were together long, only a few months. And sure, he was a little bit of a twat, but sue you. You had a special place in your heart for pricks with a heart of gold, only he didn’t even have a heart at all. 

“You should date someone better,” Jamie continues. 

You glare at him and retort, “Oh yeah, because it’s just that easy. You got some one in mind?”

Jamie gives you his most angelic look and says, “What about me?” which makes half the plane dissolve into laughter, yourself included. 

“Cheers, Jamie,” you say as you wipe your eyes. “I needed that.”

A strange look crosses his face, but it’s quickly replaced by his usual cocky expression. “Anytime, love,” he replies as you turn to start a conversation with Dani. 

As much as you’d like that, Jamie would never date you. His joke stings a little but you brush it off. Maybe you’ll find another twat in Amsterdam to distract yourself from the fact that you’re half in love with Jamie Tartt.

—

“I’m sorry, we don’t have a booking under you name,” the hotel concierge says.

You tap your nails to your wrist. “Are you positive? I’m with AFC Richmond, they should’ve had one.”

The concierge taps on his computer for a moment before shaking his head. “No, I’m afraid we don’t have anything. And all of our rooms are booked this weekend. Might I recommend the hotel down the road?”

Damn it. There’s no way this is happening. Everyone else has gotten to their rooms without a hitch and here you are, alone in the lobby as you pull out your phone to call Keeley. There’s no way this is fucking happening. 

“Everything alright?” asks a voice behind you, and you jump. 

“They don’t have a room for me, and they’re fully booked,” you explain. 

Jamie looks at the concierge, who shrugs apologetically, then back to you. He asks, “Why don’t you share with me?” and you frown. 

“I thought you were rooming with Declan,” you say. 

Jamie lifts a shoulder. “Yeah, but he switched with Richard because O’Brien fucking snores and he don’t give a shit.”

You say, “So you’re with Richard, then,” and he shakes his head. 

“Nah, Richard’s with Jan.”

“I thought Dani was with Jan,” you say. These fucking footballers. What’s the point in having set rooms if they’re just going to switch it all up.

“Dani is with Jan,” Jamie says patiently, as if this all the most obvious thing in the world. “But Dani’s a cuddler, so he’s probably going to fucking end up with, I don’t know, Isaac or someone. Which means I get a room all to meself.”

“Right,” you say slowly. “Alright, I can do that. As long as you don’t mind.”

Jamie winks. “Sharing a room with a pretty girl for four days? Ain’t a problem, love.”

You laugh and follow him to the elevator.

—

It feels a bit like playing with fire, agreeing to room with Jamie. Especially since you’re freshly single and definitely open to a rebound. But there will be two beds and a lot of space and anyway, you’ll be busy with the match and social media, respectively. 

Except as soon as you walk through the door, you realize there’s a tiny little hitch.

“There’s one bed,” you blurt out, so surprised you’re unable to filter your words. Jamie blushes a little bit as he says, “Yeah, um, Cockburn and I hate sleeping alone, so we asked for one. He grew up sharing a bed with his brothers and I just fucking hate being alone. I can sleep on the couch if you want.”

“No,” you say firmly, “you need good rest. It’s not a problem.”

It’s not a problem. 

Or at least it wouldn’t have been if Isaac had been a shittier captain. 

But as it is he’s great, so he’s got the whole team going out to dinner at a pre-determined location complete with a dress code of no t-shirts and apparently you count as part of the team, so you have to go too. You’re in your massive bathroom trying to curl your disgusting travel hair when Jamie walks in wearing one of those white hotel bathrobes.

He asks, “You mind if I’m in here?” so you shake your head, struck temporarily mute by his bare clavicle. Fucking hell, you feel like a repressed Victorian woman. 

Jamie says, “Mint,” and goes about his alarmingly detailed skincare routine. You’re pretty sure you’re done with your hair so you crane your neck in an attempt to check the back. 

“Missed a spot,” Jamie says. “Want me to get it for you?”

You shoot him a dubious look but hand him the curler. He runs a hand through your hair, picking up the offending strand and it’s all you can do not to shiver. 

“Mum taught me,” he explains and you nod ever so slightly, not wanting him to accidentally burn your neck. Jamie says, “All good,” and runs his whole hand through your hair this time, making the curls bounce. 

You choke out, “Thanks,” and hurriedly put away your things, desperate to leave before Jamie can pick up on the fact that you can barely handle being in the same room as him, and that you have great concerns about what the night will bring. 

—

“You look fucking hot,” is the first thing Rebecca says when you meet her in the lobby. Keeley looks mildly offended that Rebecca took the words out of her mouth, but she just laughs and taps your arm. 

“Gonna break a few hearts tonight, yeah?” she grins.

You’re not sure about that, especially since dinner turns out to be a very domestic affair. It’s loud, sure, but it’s definitely toned down since it’s a pre-match celebration instead of a post-match one. You’re with Sam, Keeley, and Roy with Jamie far, far away. You push all thoughts of him from your brain only for memories of your ex to surface. You frown. 

“The fuck’s wrong with you?” Roy says and for a moment, you think he’s talking to you. But he’s actually talking to Jamie who has moved from his place across the restaurant to right behind your chair. 

“Fuck off grandad,” Jamie says good-naturedly. “Wanted to tell this one that some of the lads are going out dancing after this. Not too late,” he hastily adds at Roy’s burning scowl, “just for two hours and we’re only allowed one drink.”

You’re pretty sure that’s a bit more liberal than Roy likes, but he nods his head slightly so he must be in a good mood.

“So, you coming?” Jamie asks and before you can reply Sam and Keeley chorus, “Yes she is.”

You give Keeley a Look before turning back to Jamie. “Guess I am,” you reply.

The smile Jamie gives you does more to make your head spin than any amount of alcohol you’ve had in your lifetime.

—

Jamie has taken it upon himself to wipe that frown off your face. He might have been watching you over dinner and that might have been why he chose that exact moment to invite you out, but he’ll never fucking admit it to anyone except Sam. And Keeley. And maybe Cockburn when it was the off-season and they were a little tipsy. (But not drunk, never drunk.) 

So yeah, sue him if he’s spinning you around on the crowded dance floor just because it makes you laugh. It’s not his fault that he’s been wildly in love with you since the day Higgins hired you. It’s not his fault that you’re easy to be around and have the most beautiful smile he’s seen in his life. 

And fuck, it certainly isn’t his fault you can’t see in yourself what others do. Why you settled for a piece of shit like your ex, he’ll never know. But he’ll be damned if he doesn’t do his best to show you how special you are. He knows you’ll never feel the same about him, but maybe he can help you level up your standards. Maybe if you’re with someone good, it’ll hurt less that it’s not him. 

So he lets you hold his hand for the entirety of the two hours that the team is out and doesn’t say a word when you don’t let go in the cab back to the hotel. 

You’ve gotten that closed-off look in your eyes again, the one that means you’re thinking about your ex, so Jamie knocks his shoulder into yours and asks why he can’t have the password to the team’s Instagram account, which is a sure fire way to get you to lecture him on irresponsibility and aesthetics and the best way to get your eyes to come back to life.

—

Honestly, it’s easier to fall asleep than you might have expected. It’s a big bed and you’re fucking tired. 

You just didn’t expect to wake up in the middle of the night crying, but it’s always fucking like this when you go through a breakup. You go to sleep fine and wake up sad, so you do your best not to wake up Jamie except you’ve both ended up entangled in each other’s arms, so he can feel you shaking. 

“Hey,” Jamie says in a soft voice, “You’re okay, love.”

You half expect him to push you away once he realizes you’re so close, but he only pulls you closer and presses a kiss to your forehead. Maybe it’s because you’re both half-asleep, but it feels like the most natural thing in the world. 

You sigh and settle into him, drifting off in a matter of moments. 

—

You wake up to a pair of blue eyes watching you. 

“How you feeling?” Jamie asks, voice gravelly with sleep. 

You just blink at him. It’s hard to form coherent sentences within the first ten seconds of waking up, and even harder with the memory of Jamie’s arms around you last night. 

Wait. Not just the memory. The present reality because neither of you have moved. 

Jamie misinterprets your silence and begins to extricate his arms.

“Sorry,” he says, “I’m not to trying to like, cross and fucking boundary or something. Should’ve left you alone.”

You’re still not awake enough to talk so you grab him to stop him from moving away. He gives you a questioning look so you say, “I wouldn’t have agreed to share a bed if I thought you were a creep.”

Jamie grins. “So like, if Jan had offered to share a room you’d’ve said no.”

You wrinkle your nose as you say, “Jan’s not a creep.”

“He’s the fucking worst,” Jamie grumbles, “And anyway, can we not talk about Jan fucking Maas this early in the morning?”

“Sure,” you say, “let’s talk about something else.”

Despite your comment, you both lapse into silence. You’re enraptured by Jamie’s blue eyes. You’ve never been able to study them this close before, and you want to take this opportunity to memorize every fleck of green. 

Jamie seems to have a similar thought, except his gaze flicks to your lips. 

“I have morning breath,” you tell him and he says, “Real men don’t give a shit, babe,” before leaning forward.

It’s softer than you’d expected, sweeter. 

It’s also strange to think that you’re making out with Jamie in bed, and that he’s the one who initiated it.

The thought is so absurd that you giggle, mid-kiss. Jamie breaks away and says, “Oi, there’s no way that was a shit kiss.”

“No,” you say between giggles, “it’s just weird that we’re doing this. Like, how are we supposed to look each other in the eye after?”

Jamie moves so he can look at you better, and you roll from your side to your back. “What do you mean?” he asks.

“Oh come on, we share a room and a bed, we kiss because I have all these sad feelings and you’re feeling a lot of emotions about the match, and then we have to work together after. It’s silly.”

Jamie cocks his head. “That’s what you think is happening?”

“Yes?” you say. None of this is going how it’s supposed to. “What do you think is happening?”

“I like you,” he says, and there is absolutely no mistaking his meaning. 

“Oh,” you reply in a small voice. “Since when?”

“Since before you started dating the twat. When Higgins introduced ya to the team.”

“That’s a fucking long time ago!” you exclaim. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

Jamie rubs his face. “Yeah, ‘cept you showed up to work tellin’ everyone how you started dating the twat. And I ain’t a home wrecker.”

You groan. “Fuuuck. I literally only dated him to try to get over you.”

Jamie shoots up. “What?!”

“Yeah,” you say, “I’ve been like a little bit in love with you ever since you winked at me during that first promo I did.”

Jamie blows out a breath. “Okay. Think that’s enough talking. C’mere. We’re making out proper, like, then we’re going to breakfast.”

You grin as you climb onto his lap. 

[phie04]

Inconvenience | g. clarke

Chapter 3 - Ikea Trip

Summary: four boys and noa in ikea, what could go wrong?

Word Count: 1.1k+

Warnings: swearing, George being a dick

noamurphy

liked by chrismd10, arthurtv and 13,473 others

noamurphy literally got halfway to Ikea before they demanded to stop for food

comments open

chrismd10 well we were hungry what did you expect?

⮑ noamurphy wait??? to get Ikea meatballs???

⮑ gkbarry_ noa speaking facts as usual

⮑ noamurphy love you babe x

arthurtv but we wanted hot dogs

⮑ noamurphy yeah and I wanted a successful football career but we don’t always get what we want

⮑ arthurhill just saw chris choke on his hot dog after he read this

⮑ fan new Noa lore?????

fan1 she’s so real for giving us this

⮑ fan2 mother really fed us today

⮑ noamurphy I worry for you guys sometimes

fan3 Ikea vlog 👉👈🥺 pls

⮑ noamurphy arthurtv ?

⮑ arthurtv 🫡

“Thank fuck.” Noa muttered, as the car finally pulled into the Ikea store parking lot. Somehow, their half an hour journey had doubled in length when Arthur TV declared that he was hungry and wanted to get hot dogs. “Honestly, all you guys do is think about your stomachs.”

“But I was hungry-“

“Well aware of the Television, maybe you should have had breakfast.”

“I had two Costco cookies!”

“Is that really what constitutes as a healthy breakfast these days.” Noa replied, rubbing her temples. “C’mon, let’s get this show off the road and into Swedish Heaven.”

Noa managed to herd the boys into the showroom area without much fuss, but once they were inside was where the real trouble began.

Arthur, who had decided to vlog the entire trip was running round the bedrooms with Chris, deciding to tumble out of a wardrobe every five minutes to declare that ‘they weren’t in Narnia any more’, which not only drew the attention of all the other shoppers, but some of the workers as well.

“Dixie! Please hold yourself together for five minutes, please? Just five minutes so that I can choose a bed frame and wardrobe…preferably one that you and Arthur haven’t tried to jump out of.” Noa pleaded, examining a black wooden bed.

“What colour do you want everything in? Because that will narrow the search down.” Chris said, before gazing at a set of bunk beds. “You know, if you ever wanted to have more than one person stay-“

“I’m not getting bunk beds Chris.” She sighed. “I’m not seven years old. Or making a nerf war sequel with my cousins.”

Starting to turn red, as the others snicked, Chris shook his head. “I was a kid okay? And at the time it looked good and we had fun!”

“Is anyone feeling thirsty?” Arthur TV asked, a slow grin starting to form. “I could go for a can of quick revive.”

Chris groaned in frustration, throwing his hands in the air. “Children, I’m friends with actual children.”

The four looked at each other, processing what he had just said, before dissolving into fits of giggles. Realising what they had interpreted, Chris shook his head and began to walk off. “Great, now they’re going to joke that I’m a nonce. Wonderful, just what I needed today, really, really it is.”

“Oh come on Chris, we know you don’t like kids. George, on the other hand-“

“Nope not even starting that conversation.” George grumbled, beginning to play with the drawers of one of the bed. “Why would someone want drawers on their bed?”

“If they don’t have enough room for a wardrobe I’m guessing. Not everyone has YouTuber money you see.” Noa replied, raising her eyebrows at him to reinforce her point. George just rolled at her and walked away, causing Noa to turn to the two Arthurs.

“Okay, what is his problem? Was it something I said? Or did?” She asked, moving to go inspect the next set of beds.

“Uh, we don’t actually know, we’re trying to figure it out too.”

“So he hasn’t even told you guys? Don’t you have like, guy time where you air all your grievances about stuff, and then bark like dogs at the end of it?”

Arthur (Hill) snorted. “No, you’re thinking of the Diamond Dogs, from Ted Lasso.”

“Shit yeah I am. Point still stands, he hasn’t said anything?”

“Not to us at least. And then I’d guess nothing to Chris either, because Chris then would have told us.”

Noa sighed as she ran her hand over a wooden bed frame. “Great, so one of your closest friends is pissed at me and I don’t even know why.”

“I’m sure he’ll come round, don’t even worry about it.”

“Thanks.” She muttered. “You know what, I think I’m gonna get this one. It’s cute, it’ll fit in my room, and I’m pretty sure there’s a matching desk and wardrobe.”

Grinning wickedly, Arthur (Frederick) beckoned Chris and George back over to join them. “You know, I reckon you need to test it, just to make sure that you like it.”

Noa smiled and flopped onto the bed. “Happy now?”

“Nah, I reckon you need someone to test it with you know? Just in case you ever find someone, or get lucky on a night out.” Arthur said, turning his head slowly to look at George.

“Why are you looking at me?” He asked, a small undertone of disgust in his voice, causing Noa’s eyebrows to raise gently.

“Well my shoes are muddy, so that’s a no. And Arthur and Chris are like her brothers, so I wouldn’t ask that of them.”

“But you’d ask that of me.” He grumbled quietly, moving to stand next to the bed. George sighed. “Move over then.”

Noa did so, smiling apologetically at George, before shooting a glare at the other three, who had all whipped out their phones.

George bit his lip as he laid down next to Noa, and began glaring daggers at the back of her head. He was hating every second, especially the fact that no matter where he looked, all he could see was Noa. From the top of her head all the way to where her hair fell on her back, obscuring the graphic print on the back of her hoodie. For a second, he wasn’t sure if he was in Ikea or his own personal hell, crafted for him by Arthur Hill.

“Wait, Noa you gotta make sure you’ve got enough room to roll over.” Chris added, throwing the couple an enthusiastic double thumbs up.

“I’m gonna kill you.” Noa said, only loud enough for George to hear, as she narrowed her eyes at Chris, who was too busy grinning from ear to ear, along with the two Arthurs.

George saw this and averted his gaze, doing everything he possibly could to avoid meeting Noa’s eyes as she faced him. He resisted for as long as he could, but eventually caved.

Luckily, he didn’t meet Noa’s eyes, as she had presumably fazed out, gazing at the geometric pattern on the pillow. George’s stare softened slightly has he studied her features, noticing the faint freckles that dotted over her nose, as well as the small circle of amber that added contrast to her icy blue eyes.

George wasn’t sure how he had been staring at her, but he was saved from any further embarrassment by Chris clearing his throat. “Glad that’s over.” He said, immediately sitting up and fixing his hair, leaving Noa behind.

She coughed, rubbing her face as if it would absolve her of any feelings of uneasiness and embarrassment. “Thanks for that.” She muttered to the two Arthurs. “I’m sure that really helped the situation.”

“I reckon so yeah.” Arthur Television agreed happily.

“Being sarcastic Artie, being sarcastic.” She sighed, patting his shoulder.

chrismd10

liked by noamurphy, arthurhill and 386,820 others

chrismd10 can’t buy an ikea bed without testing it first

comments open

fan1 noa??? and George???? what is going on right now???

⮑ fan2 I was there and I don’t think they’re a thing bc Arthur asked them to do it

⮑ fan1 but why would he do that if not for…?

noamurphy hate you arthurhill

⮑ arthurhill love you too

maxbalegde can’t believe my mans in bed with someone else

⮑ noamurphy not my fault I promise he’s all yours x

fan4 I know they say that there’s nothing going on but look how close they are!!!! really confused rn

⮑ arthurtv Watch my vlog and then you’ll be fine

gkbarry_ omg who’s that fittie in bed

⮑ georgeclarke yours truly

⮑ gkbarry_ ew no not you

⮑ chrismd get roasted George

⮑ georgeclarke shut up hobbit

[calciumdeficientt]

i created the template for NPC quotes and i never posted lenora’s… whoops. anyway here they are now. i have also learned that there are SO MANY different kinds of quotes so i am going to try and make this post as accessible as humanly possible but it is going to be LOOOOOOOOOOOONG

LENORA HARKER QUOTES

ALLY QUOTES

** AGREE TO ASSIST**

Sure, I can keep an eye on you Jim

Don’t worry, Lenora’s got you for sure

**ALLY- ABOUT TO LEAVE**

I can’t take any more of this, I’m audi!

Fight your own battles J-dog, I’m done

**ALLY- HELP ME!**

Hey, give me a hand!

I need some help! Fight hard!

BIKE QUOTES

**BIKE CRASH**

Aw… dang it I really thought I was getting the hang of this

Man… I hope the ladies turned away

**BIKE TRICK- SUCCESSFUL**

Hm, not terrible… now try doing that in the ocean

Radical trick! Just… not in front of the girls. I’m really getting somewhere with them

**BIKE STOLEN**

Hey what gives! That nerd I stole it from might’ve wanted it back!

Aw crap, too high to drive, bike got stolen… this is the pits

**BIKE TRICK- FAILED**

HAHAHAHAAH WIPEOUT

You should go get some training wheels or something, I’m worried about you

BOISTEROUS

HAHAAHHAA WOOOOHOOO

The Bolt from Bullworth strikes like lightning, yeah!

BUMPED QUOTES

**BUMPED- PREP**

Hey, watch it trust fund!

**BUMPED- GREASER**

Usually I’d be mad, but you just slid right off me!

**BUMPED- NERD**

Ewwwuh watch where you put those freaky little rat claws, you can get jail time for stuff like that

**BUMPED- BULLY**

The folks you meet in prison won’t be this kind to you, freak

**BUMPED- TOWNIE**

Can you even be out here? What’s the radius on that ankle monitor

**BUMPED- JIMMY- FRIENDLY**

Ope- I was lookin’ but I wasn’t seein’ my bad!

Sorry little man, I’ll be more careful next time

You go first, all my fault

**BUMPED- JIMMY- ENEMIES**

Ugh! Watch it, dork

Next time, I pound you

Open your eyes when you walk, Jimmy

Listen here, pipsqueak. Munchinland is back the way you came

Stay outta my way Hopkins.

Stay the HELL in your lane, don’t cross me.

SAYING BYE

Got track practice… gotta run

This was fun, see ya!

Hmm yeah i’m leaving now… no dumb excuse, just the vibe I’m getting

CARNIVAL

**FREAKSHOW**

If I’d stayed in California I’d probably be in one of those tents

I wonder if either of those girls are single… hell, I’m not above trying both!

**RIDE**

That ride was pretty okay… I guess

Aw man that ride was so rickety! It would’ve been so awesome if it crashed

CHATTER

How much booze is too much to bring to a party? They never have enough!

I kissed Gord at a party a few weeks ago… Its totally not my fault.. He smells like a lady

Man that fall off the gym roof really hurt.. I wish I knew when enough was enough… I’ll get there

If you think about it sound is like… waves. So when you’re listening to something it’s like you’re surfing!

I let a townie pierce my bellybutton… I think it might be infected

Everyone’s so agitated all the time. It can’t be good for us

My Polish teacher is all up in my grill about my assignments… like I dont have enough homework already.. I mean I already speak it! Who cares if I can’t write it down

Those prefects are always coming at me about my uniform! I didn’t like, ask to be tall!

CHASE QUOTES

**CHASING**

Get back here pipsqueak!

I’ll turn you inside you you little twerp!

**OUT OF BREATH**

Man… need to… focus on long distance

Maybe… I overestimated how fast I can run

**ESCAPED FROM**

Yeah and keep running!

Enjoy your head start, pipsqueak

CALLING FOR HELP

Hey, come check this out!

Dudes, come look at this!

CONVERSING

I don’t know why everyone’s so bothered about global warming… I’d kill for it to be summer forever

Aw man I remember my first wedgie, I never did see that kid again

Dan and Thad look so similar… I hope I don’t slip up again

I am so sure… yknow he threatened to make me run in my underwear the other day because my shorts were too long.. It was soo totally bogus

I saw Ted and that weird rich kid Justin making out under the bleachers yesterday… Mandy is going to be sooo crushed… Someone better go tell her

COMPLAINING

I like, don’t know how much more I can take! I mean he’s totally messing with my vibe

CONGRATULATING

Yeah right on man, you rule!”l

Total masterclass baby, woo!

CONFUSED

Oh yeah totally I- wait wha?

CONVERSING

**CONV- CONTINUING**

Uh huh- go on..

Yeah, so?

**CONV GOSSIP**

Did you hear all the stuff that Gary kid was saying about Jimmy? It’s total nonsense but… I could be persuaded

I heard that Hopkins put Russell in the hospital!

There’s some crazy stuff going around that Jimmy is actually a spy. I don’t buy it

Apparently his mom isn’t actually his mom

Did you hear that Hopkins has been to jail like three times?

Well I heard that he never buys his own clothes, he just takes them off of people he fights!

I heard Derby Harrington is secretly a vampire! Maybe that’s why he’s so pale and ugly

Did you know that Ricky’s been to see nurse McRae three times this week? If he wants pills he should just come to me

Apparently Earnest never drinks water, maybe that’s why his skin is like that

Dan thinks he’s gonna get to actually be on the team next year, I think Burton only told him that so he didn’t run back to the nerds

That Constantinos kid has been avoiding me. Apparently he doesn’t even work for the yearbook, he just likes taking creep shots of everyone

I hooked up with this really dope chick last week… but Kirby told me her boobs are totally fake! Like, I think I know more about boobs than you do, buddy

**CONV/ GOSSIP RESPONSE**

Seriously?! No way dude

That’s, like, next level bonkers!

Holy macaroni!

Damn!!!! There’s NO universe that’s true

**CONV/NEGATIVE PREMISE**

Miss Peabody’s doing random spot checks of the dorms… I’m so totally screwed

Sometimes I wonder if I even wanna run anymore

I’m starting to think maybe girls don’t actually dig me!

The guys don’t really care about me… I’ll never live up to their expectations

The whole clique’s gonna fall apart when Ted leaves for college… man I need to make new friends

**CONV/NEGATIVE RESPONSE**

Yeah right, like that’s anything to cry over

Try being me for a day and see if that still bothers you

Too bad, that’s Bullworth, kiddo

Cmon man that’s nothin’ get over yourself

**CONV/ NEGATIVE STATEMENT**

It’s like… no one cares about what’s going on at home!

I was never meant to be a jock. I’m just a nerd in denial!

Girls hate me, guys see me as a joke. Real sweet life

Times have really changed, we are SO the bottom of the food chain now

**CONVERSING/PARTING**

Catch you later dude

Hang loose bro

See you ‘round man

**CONVERSING/ POSITIVE PREMISE**

You coming to the meet on Friday? I’m set to get another medal

Having inter-clique friendships is pretty cool

I like to think the guys have accepted me as one of them

People always invite me to parties, it’s pretty rad

**CONVERSING/POSITIVE RESPONSE**

Oh yeah? that’s dope

Right on! Totally awesome!

I’m pickin’ up what you’re puttin’ down

**CONVERSING/QUESTIONS**

Hey, ever parked and not paid?

You ever wonder if concrete has feelings?

Have you ever caught a big wave?

Ever put your arms up on a ride even when they tell you not to? You have haven’t you!

**CONVERSING/QUESTION RESPONSE**

That’s a rad way of putting it.. man I feel stupid

Totally, I should do that more

Yeah… well I mean, I’ve thought about it, like… a LOT

Whaat? Nooo. You need to open your mind more man.

Do you think before you speak or do you just say it. of course not

No,that’s for losers

DEFEAT

**DEFEAT- INDIVIDUAL**

So this is what losing feels like… gross

How but- I- but..

Oh man… I should go pawn my medals

**DEFEAT - TEAM**

Who even ARE we?!

Okay seriously, what gives you guys?

They so totally cheated!

DISGUSTED

Oh my god…. I think I’m gonna hurl

DONT HIT

Ouch! I’m not the person you’re supposed to hit

Hey I’m your buddy, don’t hit me dude!

EGGED

Aw man, and this shirt was SO CLEAN!

FIGHTING

**FIGHTING**

Oh it’s SO over!

I’m gonna knock your ass over to the West coast!

Come here and take it!

Oh the gloves are OFF

**KO**

Hhhhgh… nuuuuurse

Hey… I liked those teeth

I just hope… there were ladies watching

I’ll… be back for you later

Dude… everything’s spinning

**FIGHTING TOWNIE**

I’m going to KEEP you on welfare!

**FIGHTING GREASER**

Come on and try it Ponyboy

**INITIATING FIGHT**

Which hospital do you wanna get sent to?

No one steps to Harker

Consider this karma, jackass

GET OVER HERE

**FIGHTING NERD**

The force can’t save you now!

**FIGHTING PREP**

Get your surgeon on the phone!

**LOW BLOW**

Ow! I’m not even a dude and that was still so… emasculating

**SPAT ON**

Euuugh… brush your teeth dude

**WATCHING FIGHT**

Grapple! GRAPPLE!

Cmon man do something illegal, we aren’t cops!

CURB-STOMP HIM! YEAH!

**WARNING TO FIGHT**

Violence makes violence

This is NOT something you wanna get into

FIRE ALARM

Every time I get my hopes up that it’s a real fire… and every time its just some loser messing with the alarm

FLUSTERED

I- eheheh

Totally! So like… what’s going on?

Hey, we can work this out right?

FOOD FIGHT

Dude! Stop throwing that! It’s all that I can eat!

I heard banana is good for your hair… I wonder if it’s good at high speeds

GIFT

**GIFT RECEIVED**

Sweet! The first of many, Hopkins

Same time tomorrow Jimmy?

**REQUESTING BRIBE**

My dealer wants cash… cough up

You’ve got something in there to keep me from swinging, don’t you?

You’re in with all those preps… you’ve got something to keep me away from you, surely

**REQUESTING PAYMENT FOR HELP**

Sure, I can back you up. But you gotta pay up front

I can be mean if you gimme some green, Jimmy!

**BRIBE RECEIVED**

I knew you had a good brain in that noggin, Hopkins

Right on, you’re a good dude

I’ll be back soon as this runs dry

GIFT

Here, I got you a little something

GREETING

**GREETING**

Dude, hey!

Good to see you man

Hey you

**GREET-MALE AUTHORITY**

Hey sir

**GREET- FEM AUTHORITY**

Sup uhh… ma’am

**GREETING- LIKES CLOTHING**

Fresh threads? You’re looking better than ever

**GREETING A GIRL**

Hey mama, you into arts and crafts? I’m real good with scissors

**GREETING- LIKES HAT**

Sweet hat… I need it get me one of those

**GREETING- LIKES SHOES**

Radical shoes, man. Lookin’ swish

**GREETING- LIKES SHIRT**

Rockin shirt dude!

**GREETING- LIKES PANTS**

Those are some kickass pants

**GREETING- LIKES HAIR**

Gnarly haircut

Sweet mane dude, radical

Now that’s hair that’ll get you a scholarship!

**GREETING-LIKES TATTOO**

Sweet ink, I was thinking of getting something like that

Hey I know that style, we get our tats at the same place!

GROOMING

Oh Lenora Lenora Lenora you are such a stud.. man if I were a pretty girl I’d TOTALLY date you myself

Man my hair’s gettin’ pretty long… makes me miss home

HELP

**EXPLAINING REQUEST**

It’s as simple as this

Listen dude, all you need to do is…

**REQUESTING HELP**

Heyyy, just the dude I’m lookin’ for

I’m totally getting the vibe you wanna help me right now

INDIGNANT

Enough! I’m minding my business!

Ow! Un-called for

‘Hey! What’s your damage man!

INTIMIDATED GREETING

“Heyyyyyyy… uhhh bro

JEERING

Lame-o!

Poser!

Wimp!

JIMMY IN GIRLS DORM

Nice, man. Get some. Oh wait- I mean noooo you cant be in here dude

LAUGHING

**LAUGHING- CRUEL**

hah hah hah… aaaah that was SOO LAAME

**LAUGHING - FRIENDLY**

hahahaha dude, no more seriously! I’m cryin’ hehe

PAYBACK

Uuuuugh the next time I see him I’m gonna make him swallow his own intestines!

RAT THROWN

Mr whiskers! I thought Dr Slawter dissected you!

RESPONSE TO GREETING

**RESPONSE TO GREETING- DISS**

I am NOT talking to you until you…. fix whatever’s going on with your energy

Hey back OFF, I am not your friend, and I’m friends with everyone so… you’re kinda a douche

**RESPONSE TO GREETING- FRIENDLY**

Jimbo! What’s goin on little dude

Hey Jim, how’s it hangin?

Hopkins is innnnnn the building! And lookin fly

SCARED

Come on you don’t wanna hit a girl, right? RIGHT?!?!

Jimmy come on man, we’re tight!

I- that was.. I didn’t know what I was sayin man I was fried!

Please dont hit me.. I have a meet this weekend

SEEING

**SEES ALLY ATTACKED**

Hang tight little bro I’m comin for ya

Hey! Keep your hands to yourself!

**SEES SOMETHING COOL**

YOOOOOO Wicked!

WOOOAAAAH BITCHIN’

**SEES SOMETHING CRAPPY**

Man what a hunk of junk, it so lame I don’t even wanna think about it

I really had high hopes for that…. such a shame it was a pile of bullcrap

**SEEING VANDALISM**

What?! No dont touch that it’s my favourite thing!

Damn it damn it! So bogus, I loved that

**SEEING WEAPON FIRED**

Oh man that looks dangerous…. do it again

Wooohoooo! HEADS!!!

STINKBOMB

Euuugh smells like the gym after wresting practice

Ewww it’s like the visiting room in jail

STORE- BROWSING CLOTHING

No girl could resist me in these, it’d be a crime not to get em

Oof… how many people thought this was okay to sell?

SUCKING UP

Listen… I know a LOT of cheerleaders, Jim

We’re buddies Jimmy, aren’t we? ARENT WE?!

You’re a cool guy Hopkins… you respect women. I’m down with that.

TAG DISCOVERED

If you’re gonna ruin the architecture… at least spell the insult right

TATTLING

I’m very anti authority but this is like… serious

A little birdie told me that you were looking for..

TAUNTING

**TAUNTING**

Come over and do something!

Yeah right, loser!

Come at me, bro

Go ahead, make my day

LEEEEEEEEWZER

Little bitch!

Jergoff!

**TAUNTING- AGGRESSIVE**

I’m gonna break you down!

Open wide, I wanna play dentist!

Get ready the beating of a lifetime!

You shoulda read up on caskets!

**TAUNTING- BACKING DOWN**

Bad trip, my b, my b

Lesson learned, It’s cool

Okay kiddo, okay, I get it

**TAUNTING- HUMILIATING**

This is kinda sad… at least fight back dude

Yeeeeah that’ll teach you

You’re my bitch now, ya dig?

Come onnnnnn you know you wanted this

**TAUNTING- NEW KID**

Hey young blood, lemme welcome you the Bullworth way

**TAUNTING- DISLIKES CLOTHING**

You smell like a prep…gross

**TAUNTING- DISLIKES HAIRCUT**

Hey who cut your hair? that hobo?

Oh my god, were you awake in the salon? I hope not

**TAUNTING- DISLIKES HAT**

That hat is… brave

**TAUNTING- JIMMY IS EXPELLED**

I always knew there was something crooked about you, Hopkins.

**TAUNTING- DISLIKES PANTS**

Did you pay for those pants or did you find them on a corpse?

**TAUNTING- DISLIKES SHIRT**

How much did you pay for that shirt? whatever it was it was too much

**TAUNTING- DISLIKES SHOES**

Those shoes are… wow okay

**TAUNTING- DISLIKES TATTOO**

You let a blind guy with parkinson’s tattoo you

All that time in the chair and you couldn’t ask for something a little cooler?

**TAUNTING- LIKES CLOTHES**

Those are some gnarly threads, shame they’re on a dork

**TAUNTING RESPONSE- CRYING**

I just- I (SOBBING) I have a lot of dreams… and most of them are about women (MORE SOBBING)

**TAUNTING RESPONSE- DOESNT CARE**

Oh… you were talking to me?

I wonder if that townie girl is busy right now

Is this supposed to be threatening?

Man, I need a toke

**TAUNTING RESPONSE- AGGRESSIVE**

You got something to say, huh? HUH?

Stand by it, loser, say that again!

I’ve been itching for a chance to fix that bogus attitude

Come over here and do something about it!

Step up man. STEP UP.

Your ass is grass, Hopkins and NOT the fun kind

**TAUNT RESPONSE- BACKING DOWN**

I buh- I-I was just playing around

Man cmon man knock it off

I can dish it but i can’t take it, okay! I’m a wimp!

THIS WAY

Jimbo! This way man!

Did you hit your head or something? It’s this way!

THANKS JIMMY

You’re a good dude, thanks J.

SWIRLY

**AFTER BEING SWIRLED**

Aw man… worst wave of my life

You could’ve done this in the girls bathroom…. they’re so much (SOB) CLEANER

Total party foul…. not cool

**BEGGING NOT TO BE SWIRLIED**

Noooo cmon cmon this isn’t good for either of us!

THIS PIERCING IS NEW PLEASE DONT

The guys’ll leave you alone! I swear! Please don’t do this!

TRASH TALKING

**TRASH TALKING-PERSONAL**

Heyyyy lighten up, it’s character building!

I’ll send some flowers over for your casket

Cmon loser, it’s like a workout!

**TRASH TALKING- TEAM**

We’re jocks for a reason! Go home now!

I feel kinda bad for you guys.. comin’ in knowin’ you’re gonna like, lose

It’s cool we’re giving a chance to a less fortunate team.

THANK YOU

Yooooo, thank you!

VICTORY

**VICTORY- INDIVIDUAL**

That’s how it’s DONE! Check it!

Another one bites the dust.

Ain’t nothin’ new here, ladies.

**VICTORY- TEAM**

Hell yeah, RAIN DOWN THE PAIN

THATS MY BOYS. RIGHT ON

I’ve yet to meet an underdog we couldn’t smash

VICTIMISING

**VICTIMISED**

Oh please no! I’m so scared of you… hahah yeah right

Ohh…Get a life dude… such a buzzkill

**VICTIMISING**

hahahaha right on… I love playing rough!

You’re so funny! Do that scream thing again

If you struggle enough I might feel sorry for you…. probably not

WAIT FOR ME

Hopkins, wait up!

Slow down a little, I’m stiff!

WHINE

This is like… literally like… like… like the worst day ever!

WHAT IS THAT

Heyyyy that looks like… hang on, what is that?

TV TURNED OFF

No it’s fine whatever. Not like I was, like watching it. or anything

[carrie-organa]

Here’s How I Would’ve Ended Ted Lasso

My version includes:

actually acknowledging Keeley’s importance and making Roy not a creep.

actually calling Ted out for his weird ass behavior. This guy is depressed and no one ever asks him about his horrible self esteem issues.

Here, take it before I go insane.

Ted’s Storyline

The team would talk about Ted’s decision and there would be a debate about it. Sam and Jamie agree that he should go home to his son (for different but obvious reasons). Colin and Isaac believe strongly in found family and don’t understand why Ted choosing his son has to mean him abandoning them. Jamie’s perspective is changed. They have a good point.

Rebecca’s storyline in general was odd this episode. Her constantly reaching out to Ted and him shutting her down is so stupid and at odds with their relationship.

I would’ve had Ted explain his decision when she’s giving him her “You go, I’ll go” speech. Talk about his dad and bring up the 9/13 connection. WHY WAS THIS NEVER ACKNOWLEDGED.

Ted saying that not only does Henry miss him, no one here needs him anymore. He’s given them every tool he can think of and there’s nothing left for him to do. There’s nothing else he can give them.

side note: I think this is really at the root of Ted’s issues and I’m flabbergasted that no one calls him on it. He only feels like he should stay in situations where he’s needed. He never stays somewhere because he wants to be there. He’s the traveling salesman of optimism.

Rebecca: You’re right Ted, maybe we don’t need you to remind us to have hope or to believe in ourselves. To reach for happiness. But just because we no longer need you does not mean you are not wanted. Are you happy here? Ted: It’s not that simple. Henry— Rebecca: Yes, I know about Henry, and I completely understand your concerns. I’m asking you if you’re happy here. You, Ted Lasso, the man, not the coach or the father. Are. You. Happy. Ted (bursting with it): Yes. Of course I am. I never thought I’d have an experience like this in my life. It doesn’t seem real. It feels like I fell asleep and I’m going to wake up in exactly the same place I started when I woke up. But I can’t leave Henry. I can’t abandon my son because I like my job. That’s not fair to him.

Ted’s weird detachment would’ve been addressed during the game. The team’s first half wasn’t effected by them crying over Beard’s video but rather by Ted’s refusal to coach them anymore.

Ted: I’m not gonna give y’all a pep talk. Jamie: why the FUCK not? why are you checking out? (puppy dog eyes) what did we do wrong? Ted: deer in the headlights. Turns to Beard and Roy for help. They don’t offer any. They’re wondering the same thing.

No one is disputing that there’s an issue with Ted’s situation. It hurts to be away from his son, it hurts Henry to be away from his dad. HOWEVER — the only solution isn’t to go home and leave everyone behind.

Ted makes some kind of analogy to ties in football games. Sometimes there are no-win scenarios and you just have to accept it. Roy: that’s bullshit.

The episode is about Ted losing sight of his own philosophy and the people who love him reminding him of it. Restoring his sense of belief and optimism. Telling him not to accept a no-win scenario.

The RoyKeeleyJamie of it all

Roy’s obsession with getting Keeley back when she keeps pushing him away is cringey. Someone needs to ask him why he’s being so insistent. I choose Rebecca.

Rebecca: if you don’t explain yourself right now I’m sending you to HR. I’ve never seen you act like this.

After Jamie/Keeley hug

Roy: what were you talking to Keeley about? Jamie: none of your business, mate. Roy (still an insecure bean): Are you guys…getting back together? Jamie (furrowed brows): No? I just asked if she would go on a business trip to New Zealand with me. Make sure I don’t get thrown out of the entire country hitting on the Prime Minister. Roy (unable to help himself): She’s not PM anymore. Jamie: Hm. Shame. Well, she’s still fit. Jamie makes it clear he’s not interested in starting anything with Keeley, after Mom City he knows he really needs to work on himself before he can date anybody. The perspective is very much side-eying Roy, who has decided to ignore all of his issues.

WHY HAS NO ONE ASKED KEELEY WHAT SHE WANTS.

Roy and Jamie still go to a bar. Still end up at Keeley’s door. But this time not because they were fighting over her (because cringe. even though both of them have feelings for her, they respect her autonomy). No, this time, Roy got fucking pissed and he’s being a sad sack and refuses to go home so Jamie followed him to Keeley’s to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.

Jamie: Roy, mate, let’s go home. We’ll get a kebab on the way. Roy: No, I just…I just need to know what I’m doing wrong. Please. Keeley: Roy… Roy: If you just tell me then I can fix it! Keeley: It isn’t you! (off Roy) It’s not. I promise. I just…I keep ending up in these intense, whirlwind relationships, and I can’t jump into another one again. Not yet. Not until I know it’s going to end up differently. Because I swear to god, Roy, if I lose you again (tearing up) I will not survive it. I barely survived it the first time. Roy: me too… Jamie (cannot handle uncomfortable situations): Yeah me neither, if I’m honest. (off looks from them both) WHAT? You were both so sad and quiet. Well, this one’s always quiet (gesture to Roy) but it was different. It was weird. I saw him crying in his car once. Roy: I was not crying in the car… Jamie: Yes you were! I saw you wipe a tear! Keeley: BOYS! (they’re exhausting. it’s late. she wants to stop being ambushed into these emotional conversations). something about how her type is clearly smoking hot, intense brunettes (check the math — Jamie, Roy, Jack). Preferably by a cheeky Jamie as he leads a quiet Roy to an uber.

The season has not set up Roy and Keeley to get back together. It just hasn’t. But I think it has set up Keeley to acknowledge how much Roy means to her and to explain why she’s skittish about getting back together with him right now. I think she wants to give him a chance, it’s just going to take some time.

I’d like to see a scene with just the two of them where Keeley asks him not to give up, please. Because that’s Roy’s issue, he quits while he’s ahead and he gives up because it’s easier than getting really hurt. He’s putting himself out there, and I love that because growth, but I think there needs to be an acknowledgment that he’s gone about it wrong.

Roy: I know that I’ve been a right fucking twat with all this badgering and I apologize. I know it’s all too little, too late and you’ve moved on. I do want to be friends, if you’ll let me. I just can’t handle another year where you’re not a part of my life. It’s unbearable. Keeley: It really was. Roy: If you want to get coffee sometime, or something (call back to when he asked her out in S1), just let me know. It won’t be a date. Just as friends. Keeley (nodding, equal parts relieved and disappointed): Okay. Roy walks away, they’re in the car park. Keeley calls his name and runs up to him. Kisses his cheek. Obviously there’s still something there, but they’re just gonna have a different start this time. A slow build, rather than an intense start.

Miscellaneous Complaints:

I would’ve added at least another 20 minutes to the finale. How the team reacts to Ted leaving. And I think he should leave, I think he should go back to Kansas and there should be a little time jump. Michelle tells him she knows he’s unfulfilled, Henry saying he misses visiting him in Richmond. This decision is good for literally no one when you actually see it through. It’s a nice gesture but ultimately it’s meaningless.

The way Nate is just there is so unsatisfying to me. He’s such an important character in the show and the finale paid him dust.

What happened with Bex and the other girl when they spoke to Rebecca? There was no resolution there.

BEARD AND JANE ARE NOT COUPLE GOALS. Why does the narrative simultaneously acknowledge that she straight up sucks but never give Beard the push to leave her???? I just straight up do not get it.

In conclusion, I see the vision but the execution was horrible and I don't understand how this is supposed to stick the landing. I genuinely believe they'll announce a Richmond spinoff, especially given Ted's note on Trent's manuscript. Although I do not think that the team's future is anything like the one Ted dreamt about on the plane. Those were the wishes he had for them. I look forward to reading the fics where he's dead wrong and Rebecca drags him back by his moustache hair

[ambeauty]

I have some many thots and feelings on the season opener of Titans Part 2. I’ve literally had all day to process these thoughts and I hope they come off well intended. Well DCTK was something… I’ll make this a compliment sandwich. In the caul’s folly ep I loved how hands on Dick and Kory were. Dick constantly checking on her meant everything to me. 🥹🥹🥹 That was when I really floated to the ceiling. It is something so wonderful and so beautiful about seeing Dick be a literally shoulder for Kory to lean on, even with how strong she is. That’s how their relationship has always been but not seeing them shy away from each other physically meant a lot to me.

Now Kory not knowing how to read ancient tamaranean was a choice.. and the fact that the vision was not discussed was also a choice… How does the heir to the throne not know their ancient language. I can see if she forgot like when she had amnesia and maybe it would’ve curled over better if she said I can’t translate this right now, it must have gotten loss when I landed. IDK something to prove she hadn’t studied her own race’s native language as the next in line monarch, even if she didn’t want it.

However the Diner scene, when Dick sat next to Kory I have to say I was very pleased. Like that’s really her man without being her man.I can’t deal with them. I love how Kory went ahead of Dick to talk to the cops too. She was gonna use that charm by any means necessary and then Dick stepped in like “Baby, I got this.” 🤭🤭

Now here’s where things get shakey for me. When Kory starts to feel sick and Dick takes her back to the RV, where the hell does he leave her while going to meet with the sheriff? Was he not afraid someone wouldn’t find her after? Idk him going to visit the sheriff alone just didn’t sit right with me. And constantly leaving her “alone” throughout DCTK gave me some friction. Just didn’t seem like the smartest of ideas. But likely she didn’t wander off or get taken.

Ok so here’s my ultimate gripe with the episode. This episode was supposed to be about Dick & Carol & Ted & Kory… and I feel like they only got about a fourth of the episode. I feel like this was an episode full of very flavorful tastings of something reallly really special. I feel like if Tom could’ve written the episode of just Dick & Kory he would’ve went so crazy and I wanna see that version without all of the extra plot points like TimBer and Brother Blood. I wanted Dick & Kory actually communicating about why they put them together as a marry couple since it seemed so outlandish that they could be in bed together 🙄 (y’all have fucked multiple times.. be fucking for real) I would’ve liked you to remember it but yeah idk it was weird. Like funny but weird.

At this late stage of the series the tiptoeing and longing and pining of this ship is tortorous and TIRED. We should not fucking be here. I am sorry. We shouldn’t. Dick should’ve tried to snap Kory out of her spell by telling her some of her memories that intertwined with his. A conversation about the Mar’i vision should’ve been discussed there. I feel like it won’t ever be fully discussed because when do they have the time???

I am just forever upset that so much of s3 could’ve been giving us this but they had to throw Barbara in there for some sick reason. We should’ve gotten all of this pining last season so we weren’t spending majority of our final season there. I feel like the moment we see Dick and Kory happy and in love it’ll be over. Like 5 minutes of it. And what was the point of spending 11 episodes pining. IDK. I know Dick and Kory would have such a beautiful relationship once it’s finally said and done and I am perturbed that I am going to have to spend time exploring it in fic alone.

I just don’t wanna have to write fix it fics because that means that I was unfulfilled by the media and that was fine last season they had time to fix it on their own but the way they went about it here leave so much to be desired.

In conclusion. Dick telling Kory he would never leave her was sooooooooooo sweet. A perfect moments in the midst of a lot of shit and although he didn’t tell Kory directly. She knows how he feels. Idk when they will actually have the talk if they actually have the talk but I am sooo ready to see it. For my little DickKorian heart there’s so much riding on this conclusion. And I hope I can feel satisfied in the end. Right now I feel edged to the end of oblivion not gon hold you.

[pikapeppa]

re: your post about quen glyphs... it's possible that the old focuses they found in the delta were formatted to work w/ simplified chinese characters... after all, the focuses are pre-zero dawn and would have been formatted to whatever the local ppl used, right? its even possible that being able to write and speak simplified chinese in addition to any other languages that a focus could be formatted to might be something on the diviners examinations alva talks about... (also the fascinating implications that the quen might have had the only record of other languages existing pre-apollo)

I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY TO THIS. But I wanted to do it when I had time and brainpower to fully think it through 😂

So this ask is in relation to my tags on this gorgeous photo, where I remarked that it's weird for this beautiful Quen person to be carrying a tablet with what look like nonsense glyphs, when we know canonically that the Quen read and write English in the Roman alphabet. This is in contrast with the Oseram, for instance, who read and write English in their own original glyph system (as evidenced by Erend having trouble learning to read the Old Ones' glyphs).

For the purposes of this reply, I'm going to focus on Mandarin and Cantonese as the spoken forms of "Chinese" since they're the most familiar Chinese languages, and since Mandarin is considered the "standard" Chinese language. Before I start, I should also point out that there is no such thing as spoken simplified Chinese; "simplified Chinese" refers to a variation of written Chinese that's usually used to transcribe the spoken language of Mandarin, whereas "traditional Chinese" refers to the written variation of Chinese that's usually used to transcribe Cantonese.

ALSO, STRAP IN, BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO GET A LITTLE NERDY HERE. I'm a speech-language pathologist by day (smut writer by night! 👹) and my favourite class in undergrad was a course about writing systems of the world, so I'm just giving advance warning that YOU ASKED FOR THIS. 😂😂😂

Okay, diving in now! That's a really good point re: the Focuses in the Great Delta -- it would make sense for many of the Focuses there to be set to display in Mandarin and/or Cantonese, and thus for the "glyph system" to be simplified or traditional Chinese characters, respectively. But if we're sticking to canon lore, the Quen don't speak other languages. There is a datapoint from Alva about this where she expresses some (VERY ACCURATE AND ADORABLE) disgust at Ted Faro for the loss of all languages except the Zero Dawn "default" language of English. If we're taking this at face value (and I see no reason why Alva would lie about this in her notes), then even if the Focuses were formatted to display Chinese characters, the Quen wouldn't be able to read them. This would also explain why being a Diviner is a rare and highly-prized role: it would probably be rare for the Focuses they found to be set in English, and those English Focuses would be even more prized and revered since they're interpretable.

Now, we might wonder why the Quen wouldn't be able to learn to speak Mandarin or Cantonese by deciphering the glyphs on a Chinese-formatted Focus. The problem is that the Quen have no spoken language to map the Chinese characters onto. Chinese characters are not an alphabet, and thus there's no one-to-one correspondence between a character and a sound or a sequence of sounds; instead, Chinese characters are largely morphographic, meaning they represent a unit of meaning rather than a sound or a sequence of sounds. The Quen might be able to figure out what some Chinese characters represent by comparing a single piece of text that's written both in Chinese and English, but they would not be able to figure out what the Chinese characters sound like.

Ah, but you might be wondering if the Quen could have figured out how to speak Mandarin/Cantonese by listening to audiorecordings or holovids in Mandarin/Cantonese and mapping them to transcripts written in Chinese, then comparing those Chinese transcripts to English transcripts of the same text? (Wait, YOU'RE NOT WONDERING THAT? SERIOUSLY?? I'm teasing. I'm clearly overthinking this.) I mean, yes, they could, but that would require you to have a piece of text in both English and Chinese that also has a corresponding holovid/audiorecording in Mandarin/Cantonese for that text, which... I mean, maybe I'm wrong, but that seems like a pretty big ask. Then again, if the Focuses have like a library of C-dramas with subtitles, then that could work???

But this brings me back to Alva's datapoint again. If all of the Diviners learned Mandarin/Cantonese for their exams, either Alva is being secretive about this in her own notes (seems implausible to me, she is not a disingenuous person), OR there is a faction of Quen Diviners above Alva's proverbial "pay grade" who are working on that. So that could be an interesting avenue for someone to explore in fic! Actually, the more I think about it, the more plausible it seems that there is some "upper class" of Diviners who are secretly working on restoring old languages and who get extra perks from the Imperial family for interpreting the most valuable texts. Okay, you got me, you talked me into it LOL.

But let's return now to my original cheeky remark re: the Quen glyphs as pictured in the game. This is a more detailed image of some Quen glyphs in Burning Shores:

Now, we can't say whether this piece of text is meant to be read top to bottom or whether it was pinned to the post sideways, but it looks to me from the brackets and the red lines (likely underlines) that it's posted sideways and is meant to be read either right-to-left or left-to-right. This does not look like Chinese characters, either simplified or traditional. On a superficial inspection, it looks to me more like the Tibetan syllabary, or maybe the Hebrew abjad, without actually being either of those. In the image I referred to at the beginning of this post, the glyphs look more like the Arabic abjad as it would be used to transcribe Farsi. In other words, the Quen glyphs as pictured in the DLC alone are inconsistent.

To be perfectly honest, I think that these Quen glyphs are a "game-ism": one of those things that's a visual element in the game that actually doesn't match up with the lore, similar to how Grudda is canonically from the Desert Clan but has Lowland tattoos. (If you've never noticed this, I implore you to use tearblast arrows to blow off all his armour until he's naked down to his underoos the next time you play LOL. Drakka would greatly approve.)

In short, I still adhere to the idea that the general Quen population read and write in English using the Roman alphabet, and that the Quen glyphs pictured in these images are visual nonsense (NO OFFENSE). If there are any Quen who speak and read in other languages, it would most likely be a secret faction of Diviners that Alva doesn't know about.

I hope this answer was satisfying and not fucking boring as hell BAHAHAH. Thank you for making me think about this, though! It also reminds of a mini-rant I have about Hekarro wanting the Tenakth to learn Carja glyphs that I should find some time to write out!

If anyone has further thoughts about this, feel free to comment/reblob/send me an ask or a message or whatever! ❤ Also, forgive any typos, it's past 1AM when I'm writing this LMAO.

-- much love from your friendly neighbourhood Pika xoxo

[louiisaa]

HELLO I HAVE TRAVELLED FROM MY BLOG TO BOTHER YOU :)

BECAUSE YOU SEEM COOL

okay: you do not have to answer all of these however some you should (or you can do none whatever tickles your fancy lol)

describe your eye colour in 6 words

something entirely random that you learnt recently

the best thing you see when you look out the nearest window

A description of your hometown (this would be appreciated considering I REALLY WANT TO GO TO THE UK - one of my best friends has promised me she'll take me at some point)

if you were a mystical animal or creature what would you be

a song thats on repeat currently

favourite flowers/plants

your categories (mbti, hogwarts house (fuck jkr though), star sign) and something that makes you think you fit those categories

thats enough for now but hiiiii

your blog looks really freaking cool :)

hoping you have a wonderful rest of your day :))))

HELLO

if you think i'm cool then you must be pretty cool yourself

this is perfect for me lmao i'm on a longgg car journey atm so this is great

1. kinda green kinda brown, hazel/olive

2. there are these things called weever fish and the stay under the sand in shallow water on beaches and if you happen to stand on them they have loads of little spiny stingers in their back and they sting the bottom of your foot

3. a cute little yellow car

4. my hometowns very small and crap but i will give recommendations! most of the coasts are really nice, brighton is very good for tourists i'd say, ive been there a couple times and it has loads of places to eat and shop. there's also a bunch of vintage places and thrift shops!! ive just been to the isle of wight for about a week which is a little island of the south coast. it's basically a retirement island ngl but some young people move there just to get away from all the business of the mainland. it has nice beaches and a few cute towns and since everyone's old there's loads of vintage/retro places! i would say if you haven't got a car when your there you'd struggle since there's pretty much one road connecting the whole island and no matter where you are the place you want to go to is a 20 min drive away. london's good aswell but only in certain parts. camden, covent garden and central london (big ben, london eye) is quite nice but apart from that i wouldn't recommend unless you want your phone wallet watch and bike stolen. cornwall is also very nice and the southernmost point of the uk mainland, it looks incredible but the people aren't very welcoming to tourists even though it's a very popular tourist destination. i've never really been up north so i have no clue about that area but there is the lake district! a national park (that taylor swift has written a song about) but it's basically where loads of poets from a very very long time ago went to live and it's very cute.

hope you enjoyed my ted talk

5. i have no clue maybe a unicorn

6. hot and heavy - lucy dacus

7. roses (i'm basic. if a guy ever gets me roses im his)

8. intp-t, hufflepuff (i took the official potter more test when i was like 10 and have not gotten a different result since lol), capricorn. i don't know what the characteristics of a capricorn are but im a very logical and methodical person, making me intp-t and im so loyal to my friends and i have a very strong moral compass which i think makes me a hufflepuff :)

[damelucyjo]

Let’s spend some time with Little Lasso!

Episode 8 - We'll Never Have Paris

Oooh this is a cool montage

Haha angry Rupert 🖕🏼

Yeah, that’s not a happy Ted 😕

How are neither Jake nor Michelle incredibly awkward over this?? I feel awkward just watching them!

It’s nice that Ted & Michelle can joke and pretend he’s not there ✌🏼😂

Uh oh, awkward. Again.

Okay, so the red & blue magnets are gonna mean something, right? Because we’re sure the matchbook does

Prince Henry 🫡 Nice one, Mae

(They are some sad English Breakfasts, I’m sorry)

He doesn’t need to know, nor care, what you are, Jake!

Big piece of cereal making a come back! Does Ted know there are 100s of other cereals available or…?

Ted, why would they bring Henry to you for the weekend if they were just going to fly back to America?? Come on, dude

Oh poor Ted 🥺

YYEEEAAAHHH!!!!

Of course Keeley thought she’d have to play 😂

Show off your ‘girlfriend’. Sure, Jan 🫠

‘Does he need another fake niece’ 😂 Keeley, please never change!

Nate, keeping tabs on Richmond 🥺

Okay, I’ll say it again and again but JADE & NATE ARE CUTE!!

Of course he shaved and showered 😂

Fiona Apple 😍

Oh poor Keeley 🥺🥺 Juno making me want to climb into the TV and give her a big hug

Will making a game out of getting Henry to do his work for him 😂 well done, king!

The guys at the window 😂

I like how none of them ask him why he’s asking where they’d propose. They just answer 😂

Also Beard’s answer made me audibly say ‘aww’ 🥹

ROY KENT ASKING IF HE WANTS TO TALK?! My baby’s come so far 🥰

Or maybe not 😂

Jeremy’s run 😂😂 oh that got me!

Welcome new pup, Trent 🫡

“I’m her ex-husband, not her current father. So, no” 😂

Roy wanting nothing to do with these meetings but always listening from his desk and getting involved anyway 😂 love to see it!

Beard is done with your bullshit, Ted. So is Higgins! The guy ran down and up stairs for you! HE’S GONNA HAVE LEG CRAMPS IN HIS SLEEP, TED! DO YOU NOT CARE?!

The pointing 👉🏻👈🏻 😂

‘You should find out before you flip out’ sound advice there from Higgybottom! 👍🏼

‘Woof’ PROTECT TRENT CRIM WITH EVERYTHING YOU HAVE!!!!

Nate trying to have his own diamond dogs meeting 🫣 The poor boy really thought Rupert would show up 🫣

‘Love Hounds’ 🫠

‘Never let them know how you feel. It’s very expensive’ Disco, you’re fun 😂

‘Are we in trouble now’ poor Roger 😂 he must get ‘told off’ a lot 😂

BISCUITS!! BISCUITS!! This is not a drill 🚨 🚨🚨

Rebecca, channeling her inner Hannah 👀😂

The boys playing with Henry is too adorable! (I wish she’d gone to the window to see it, though)

Look at these two, talking like a married couple🫠

‘The Eiffel Tower is just a lamppost with a publicist’ 😂😂

Oh, he pulled out a ‘Rebecca’. That means he’s serious. And she knows it with how quick she agreed to help 🥹🥰

There’s a whole discussion to be has here over whether she really did call a PI like he asked, or she just said she would because she knew it’d calm him down enough that he wouldn’t continue to spiral so bad 🤔

That smile at the Oscar Wilde line was totally Hannah trying not to laugh 😂

His sad little high-five to the tree 🥺 (you can’t convince me Jason didn’t do that because he knew how much Hannah loved his ‘high-five tree!’ from season 1)

I want to believe Barbra wishes she could say more to Keeley but feels like she can’t. I think they’d have a great friendship if they allowed themselves.

Juno is absolutely breaking my heart with all this. Just give her the awards now 🥺🥰

Jamie’s Lynx collection 😂

The fucking Sun 🖕🏼

Colin with another ‘joke’. In reality he’d be called out and accused of being gay for how much he makes these jokes

Rebecca deleted Candy Crush from his phone, for sure 😂

‘Fuck yeah, 24601’ 😂 I love how varied these boys are! Of course they’re fans of Les Mis

All these guys questions are brilliant, but O’Brien’s got me 😂 that’s gross, mate!!

It’s absolutely wonderful how they all completely switch as soon as they find out Keeley was one of them 🥰 Like it didn’t seem like a real thing until they found out how close to home it hits (but Issac only wants them to protect themselves, even though we all know it wouldn’t even be a thing the other way around because they’re guys and Keeley is a girl 🫠)

Will, what kind of picture you got to get a reaction like that from Jamie?! 😂

(I know story wise it had to happen like this, but why did Issac follow Colin out of the room? As close friends he surely should have trusted that he’d do what he asked??)

Listen here 📢📢📢THAT IS NOT A MAN WHO IS ANGRY HIS FRIEND IS GAY. THAT IS A MAN WHO IS ANGRY HIS FRIEND DIDN’T FEEL LIKE HE COULD TELL HIM 📢 📢📢

Keeley, baby, why were you taking topless photos for your teacher at 15?? 🤔 Rebecca’s reaction is exactly right

This whole plot point for Keeley is coming directly from Keeley Hazell and the line about choice solidifies that for me.

If anyone could change society it’d be Rebecca Welton ✌🏼

Just the fact she has to ask if she should be ashamed or embarrassed is heartbreaking 🥺

Alright Nanna, put your glasses on 😂

‘Just think of how many young women you are going to teach how to masterbate properly’ 😂😂😂 Oh, Rebecca. We all need someone who praises us instead of making us feel like we should be ashamed 🥰

Queen Rebecca humping her parents furniture to the point it had to be reupholstered 😂 I’d expect nothing different! Then blaming a non-existent dog is just *chef’s kiss*

‘I’ve got you’ 🥹🥹🥹 this woman is so maternal it actually hurts my heart she does t have a child

Poor Richard 🫡 😂

It was going so well Roy! Why did you have to ask her that?? 🫣 I’m disappointed in you, grandad 😕

Jack is all over the place. Having already watched the episode I know what is coming up, which makes this scene very important. I like her less and less every time I see her now 🫤

Of course Barbra is a party animal! Now I need a girls night between Barbra, Keeley & Rebecca 👍🏼😂

A Marcus Rashford book 😍

Totally unrelated but TED’S FLAT HAS AN UPSTAIRS?! I’m so confused 😂😂

Another cute call back to the kid Henry was bullying with them now being friends and starting a band 👍🏼 And a lovely little nod to Jason with the drums. Well done

Ted delicately trying to ask Henry questions about Michelle & Jake only for him to be asleep. Happens every time! 😂

Aww, they text each other goodnight and good morning 🥰 ADORABLE!

(I wonder who else does that 👀)

Fair enough for cancelling it, but why do these people never communicate?! Drives me crazy

So Jack doesn’t really care about Keeley. Am I the only one getting those vibes??

Fuck yes, uncle Beard! Love to see his & Henry’s relationship.

Okay but why do I want to see Beard, Ted & Henry at a rave now 😂

It’s actually incredibly sweet that he wants to go watch football. That’s his dads life that he doesn’t really get to see properly for himself. Of course he wants to actually witness it 🥹 Henry, you’re a good egg

Angry Beard having to stop at home first because of course there’s no question that they’re not going to that match. I LOVE THIS LITTLE FAMILY 🥰🥰🥰

Beard being at a West Ham match is full Richmond gear. YOU, SIR, ARE AMAZING!

So is this showing that Henry probably spent a fair amount of time with Nate when he was there the first time?? Or is he just a sneaky little shit who wants to mess with him!! 😂

These two would be incredibly cute if I weren’t so suspicious of Jack 🫣

Yes, be all over her until someone you know is around. Then refer to her as your ‘friend’ 🖕🏼 RUN KEELEY!

(I also recognise this Alyssa girl and a quick search shows she was in Downton, so maybe it’s from that 😂)

That’s a little strange for Rupert to text that to Nate 🤔 Surely he wouldn’t actually care???

I love Mae’s commitment to hating West Ham 🫡

‘You think I wanted to fucking be there’ 😂 of course not, but you’d do anything for your nephew and we love you for it, sir 🫡😂

Sidebar: Rebecca’s kitchen is gorgeous. Just like it’s owner 🥵

At home, comfy Rebecca is delicious, too

Unconsciously correcting his mispronunciation is terribly wifey behaviour, Rebecca 👀 You two aren’t fooling anyone anymore

IT’S NOISY!! TISH CALLBACK 🤔

‘You think I’m nuts’ as she’s munching on nuts, I mean…

He likes The Beatles because Ted does 🥹🥹

Uncle Beard is amazing 🥰🥰

I challenge anyone to listen to this song and not ‘ na na na na Hey Jude’ along 😂

It’s important that Ted has this conversation with someone, but I think it’s incredibly important that it’s with Rebecca. Yea, it is my Tedbecca loving heart saying this but whatever

‘You need to stop letting yesterday get in the way of today, Ted’ just like I’ve learnt to do! Yes, we’ll done, Rebecca 😂

She told you she couldn’t do it so why are you still going on about the statement, Jack. Put your listening ears on, woman!!

I’m so proud of Keeley for sticking up for herself! She shouldn’t feel ashamed for it and it’s disgusting that another woman is telling her that she should! And she’s telling her to her face that she cares more about what people think than her ‘girlfriend’s feeling. Bitch, bye! 🖕🏼

You don’t need her Keeley! You need to spend some time alone for a change!!

Subtlety showing Nathan doesn’t care about winning anymore. Nicely done 👍🏼

He’s evolving, guys! I’m excited!! I need him to rip into Rupert before he leaves, though

‘I love your smile. I like to see my boyfriend happy’ THEY’RE SO BLOODY CUTE!!

Baby boy Jamie’s grown up so much. I’m so proud of him!!

Of course he thought password only had 1 ‘s’ 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 so wise yet so dumb

He didn’t need to hold onto the bag that long 😂 that was weird

No fist bump 😂 FUCK YOU, JAKE!

He’s got the army guys in his window 🥹

Well that was another wonderful episode! A great one for Juno, especially. Fingers crossed for more Rebecca & Keeley besties moving forward 🤞🏼

I think Keeley Hazell did a great job on this one. Seems like a lot of her personal experience, and being the blueprint for Miss Jones especially, worked really well here.

[notherefortheanonhate]

I, an uneducated idiot, am going to give my opinion in cetacean captivity, specifically regarding orcas. Specifically specifically regarding SeaWorld.

It's bad that it happened. It's bad that it ever happened in the first place, and when I get to hell I am going to hunt Ted Griffiths for sport for getting the whole thing off the ground.

(more under the cut because this is getting long)

I don't like the commercialisation of SeaWorld. Surely they can study the orcas without making them do tricks for large audiences.

"But Lauren, they stopped doing that!"

Yes, because the public outcry made them stop. They are a for profit company. They did not stop any of this on their own. They did not stop capturing orcas because they felt bad or realized it was wrong. They did not stop breeding orcas because they felt bad or realized it was wrong. I am not anti-zoo, or anti-conservstion. I am strongly anti-capitalist though, and I think SeaWorld as an amusement park needs a whole lot of side eye.

"So Lauren, you think the orcas should go back in the ocean, right?"

Honestly, I don't know. I am just an uneducated idiot, and I wouldn't presume to tell people what to do about it when they might know more than me. Also, historically, I'm going to be honest that it doesn't work well. We did Keiko dirty.

In a perfect world, I would call for wildlife rehabilitation facilities; huge, enormous ones, where all the whales that are family (really, truly family, so mothers would be reunited with their children first and foremost and then we go from there) in captivity could be reunited in sea pools, near enough where wild orcas (of their specific grouping/language) can call to them and they can call back while humans teach them the skills they need to survive in the wild, then release them. This scenario also relies on thriving fish/mammal stocks, which uh. Hmm. An issue for another time, but like I said, this is my idea for a Perfect World. In a perfect world, the other pods would snap up their old and new members easily. We know from Keiko that it is not entirely likely to happen. I also wonder if the captive orcas have their own kind of language borne from different pods being forced together, or at the very least if the younger ones do. The pods of their grandparents might be confused by them, at the very least!

"Lauren, that's not a solution. That's a pipe dream."

Yeah. Kind of. Honestly, it doesn't seem like there's any way to right a lot of these wrongs. It seems that it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't kind of thing; we don't want the whales left in stagnant pools of glass and concrete; if nothing else, they don't have the room they're used to as migratory animals, and they don't have the ecosystem to interact with. We can't release them, they don't know how to be a wild animal anymore. And we aren't kind enough to the natural world to let them figure it out as they go along because they have lost the time they would have otherwise spent learning those skills.

"But Lauren, we know so much more about them now!"

I mean, I guess? Like I said, I am suspicious of the conservation efforts of teaching them tricks for our amusement, and how the captive breeding program that SeaWorld was running seemed to be more for SeaWorld's benefit than for bringing more orcas into our seas. I also don't know how much we can learn if the variable of captivity is there. Does this orca prefer fish because it was from a resident pod, or because they were primarily fed fish by their humans? If they were originally from a transient pod, was the transition to a fish-based diet difficult for them? Would it be difficult to go back? It seems so individual that we cannot possibly know.

BUT I acknowledge your point. Would we have cared to learn as much about them if we didn't have this experience? This capitalist push behind them? I don't think we actually would have. Look at sharks. They have less than 150 marine biologists dedicated to them right now, counting post grad students if I remember that YouTube video essay correctly. We wouldn't know to love orcas if we hadn't done this; hell, they might have been treated like the Great White Shark! It's good that we love orcas and we care about them! It means that we might make better efforts regarding the Chinook Salmon that the Southern Pacific Resident pod thrives on, or reducing pollution, or any number of things. I can't say what knowledge we have lost or gained because of specific actions. Again, it seems so variable that I cannot say. How many marine biologists today were taken to SeaWorld as a child? That seems quantifiable, but how many people didn't go into marine biology as adults because their experience wasn't as good; the weather was bad, their parents fought, the whales weren't performing as well as they did some other day? That the experience was coloured in some way in their perception, pushing them from the field? That's less quantifiable.

So that's my opinion on it. It's not good, and quite honestly it shouldn't have come this far in the first place. But there's really not much we can do about it now, except maybe letting them die with their loved ones.

[daydreamgoddess14]

Home Time

MASTERLIST

11 hours on a bus back from Amsterdam is a long time.

~~~~~~~~~

They'd cycled through a number of crowd favourites - Three Little Birds, followed by Sweet Caroline, Livin on a Prayer and a stellar duet of Starman by Rebecca and Piggy Stardust... Once they'd left the city, Ted stood to address the bus.

"First rule on my bus, same as the outbound journey - only number ones on the bus. No number twos, no negotiation. If anyone toots on the bus, they find their own way home." Nods and murmurs sounded throughout. "We have a journey time of about 11 hours ahead of us, first stop is Ghent after lunch, then we plow on to Calais for the boat at 4.30 this afternoon. We should be back in Richmond by 8pm. Where I expect you all to go straight to bed. We have lunch on board, kindly picked up by Will and Higgyboy. What's my snack rule fellas?"

"Share snacks, Coach"

"That's right, you will share those fizzy sour haribos I like so much - especially with me. You wanna sleep? Fine by me, I'll stick a DNR on you-"

"DND" Beard interrupted 

"Oh right, yeah, course. No need for DNRs, I'd happily resuscitate any one of you guys, no fear there! You don't wanna sleep, we've got card decks, Uno, and some other games. Also - book swap! I finished a very exciting cozy murder mystery involving a baking club this morning, if anyone wants to give it a whirl. Lookin' at you Royster. Other than that, relax, rest and I'll catch up with y'all in a bit."

"Thanks Coach" various voices spoke up. Once Ted was seated again, Higgins made his way down the coach aisle with a takeaway cup which he popped down in front of Rebecca. 

"Leslie you wonderful man. How did you know?"

"Didn’t see you at the hotel breakfast, and I was picking up lunch for everyone anyway. It is coffee though, I'm afraid."

"I'll survive, thank you. So much." Rebecca smiled warmly. "How was your evening of jazz?"

"Oh it was excellent, young Will enjoyed it too. Isn't it a lovely city?"

"I saw less of it than I expected to be honest." Rebecca gave a small shrug. Try as he might, Ted was struggling to avoid eavesdropping, fortunately Rebecca didn't offer any further information. "Could you order me a new phone please? Do you think we could have one at the club for tomorrow morning?" Higgins pulled his phone out of his pocket and started an online basket,

"Of course, shouldn't be a problem. Did you want the new model, and in pink?"

"Yes please, that would be perfect. I'm afraid mine is in the bottom of the canal. Can we access my account remotely to forward any calls?"

"Yes, yes, calls only though - messages don't get retrieved until you get your new phone?"

Rebecca caught Ted's eye and smirked. 

"That's not a problem, I'm sure I can get caught up on those tomorrow. Ted, would you mind putting a message on the group chat to let everyone know I'm incommunicado please?"

"Sure thing boss, betcha those little fishes wish they had thumbs for textin!"

After a couple of hours on some team admin, Ted checking ferry tickets, Rebecca checking passports and passing the takeout coffee across the table for him to share until the dregs were too cold to drink. Ted moved towards the front of the bus where he leaned down to speak with Will. Between them, they reached into the overhead lockers and started pulling out boxes and bags of sandwiches with cured deli meats, cheese and salad. Bags of salty crisps came next, and then a selection of bottled soft drinks. Far from the heavily curated super healthy menus they were used to, their comfort lunch was well received. Ted stayed down the front of the bus, taking Will's seat so he could talk with Trent.

"Good night, Trent?"

"Most enjoyable thanks Ted. A very welcoming city."

"That's great to hear, good to have you with us."

"I've said it before, the team is on a remarkable journey. It's a privilege to be alongside." Ted gripped Trent's shoulder in gratitude before taking an open rubbish bag up the aisle to collect the lunch wrappers. 

He paused between Isaac and Dani,

"You boys doing OK? It was a pleasant surprise to see you all at breakfast this morning."

"We stayed in, Coach. Did something you'd be proud of, I think." Isaac's smile grew.

"Coach, we had a pillow fight. It was the most glorious and wholesome experience for me, I felt like I was in a sorority girls movie" Dani beamed.

"Well that sounds pretty dang great! I am proud of you! And it was probably a darn sight less seedy than those sorority movies, Dani."

"For sure Coach, we all kept our clothes on!"

"Hey, that's fantastic! But y'all get naked with whoever you want to, as long as you're in agreement then who the heck cares! I would not stand in the way of true love or male bonding rituals. And I've heard how English folks love a bit of bonding." Ted patted both players on the shoulder before leaning closer to Isaac's ear. "Great job, Captain. Really great job." Isaac nodded solemnly at the praise and sniffed a little at the suddenly dusty bus. 

Further on making his way to the back of the bus, Ted stopped again between Roy and Jamie.

"Coach! I taught Roy howta ride a bike! We saw the whole city!"

"Alright Jamie, put it there!" Ted put a hand up for a high five. "Glad you fellas got some time together." Roy growled,

"We're together every fucking day." He looked at Ted, who discreetly nodded towards Jamie, who's eyes had dropped to the floor. "But..." He added, "it's not every day you learn to ride a bike. Or see a windmill. Or see a city like this." Jamie's head snapped up. "Cheers Tartt, you fucking tart. It was a pretty great fucking night in the end" Jamie's smirked, Ted nodded happily at Roy and moved on. 

He dropped the rubbish bag into the stairwell of the coach loo and sat in Rebecca's previous seat at the table. She'd moved round to talk to Beard, who was busy showing her Ted's epiphanious notebook. 

"Coach Beard has been explaining your method to me."

"Not his method" Beard interrupted, Rebecca slapped his hand.

"I don't care when it was invented and who by, I care that Ted believes in it." Beard rolled his eyes.

"Happy to tell you about it boss. Time for our first stop though so let's get us a coffee and some sugar first. Need to get you some caffeine so my explaining doesn't send you to sleep." Ted smiled at Rebecca as the bus pulled to a halt at a service station. They were about to start getting off the bus when the sound of Dani weeping travelled through the bus. 

The field next to the service station was awash with pale pink tulips.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Rebecca marveled at the calibre and quantity of sweet treats being passed up and down the bus, the team never missed her out of the distribution loop - randomly shouting recommendations. She contributed a tray of caramel cookies which had been so well received, they'd earned her a huge cheer. 

"Ms W, try these bad boys from Moe - they're so good!" Jamie put a bag of fizzy jelly sweets in front of her and she took a couple. Jamie's face contorted as he took a bite, "Uuugggh they're so sour!" The grimace turned to a grin, "Sooo good!"

"I love the sour ones!" Rebecca took a bit and felt the sour notes hit her tastebuds "Oooh, that's amazing!" Across the table, Ted watched as the team embraced having the boss on the bus with them, Beard was napping across the very back seats so he and Rebecca had a card game in front of them - he was trying to teach her poker. "Ted likes the sour ones too," she passed the bag along to him, "try these."

"That's cos they start out sour and prickly but they suddenly go sweet without you noticing." He grinned at Rebecca, Jamie had turned back to his teammates who were playing some sort of 20 questions game in teams of 3 or 4. "So it's time boss, I'm mentally, spiritually and cosmically prepared for the story of how you lost your phone." Rebecca smiled, the last 5 bus hours with her team had been just as soothing to her soul as the previous night had been. 

"I was on the phone to Sassy who was trying to persuade me to take drugs and visit prostitutes-"

"Standard Sassy"

"Standard Sassy. I was stood in a bike lane, stupidly. I just got pushed and prodded right over the barrier on the bridge, straight into the water." Ted's eyes widened, 

"Holy smokes boss, why the heck didn't you say sooner? Are you hurt?" she brushed his concern away with a hand wave, 

"Just my pride. Anyway, a gentleman on a houseboat rescued me, I was drenched-" She stopped suddenly and shivered. Ted was quick to remove his sweater and pass it over the table. 

"and?" He prompted.

"He plied me with wine and food, I slept on his sofa and with no phone and no one I could contact, I just... relaxed. I learned to just... be, I think. Nothing at all against you, or Keeley or Sass, but you've all seen the very worst of me. This stranger hadn't, it felt like a total reset of my brain. I don't need to worry about what Rupert thinks anymore, or how he'd control my every mouthful and movement," she gestured to the sweets, chocolate and coffee cups next to them, "I don't need to care about what my mother thinks. I can just be myself. I just need to relearn who that is." She shrugged. Ted had fallen completely still and silent,

"I'm proud of you, boss. You're finally on the same page as the rest of us. These boys adore you, they'd go to war for you. We all would. Believe me, if you could see you the way we see you, you'd know how loved you are around here." He looked down the aisle at the team laughing and joking together, Rebecca's eyes filled with tears, she let them fall for the first time in a long time - no longer needing to hold the facade of total control, elegance and fortitude. She nodded, unable to speak for a few moments. Something was creeping around the edges of her mind, she looked at Ted with a small smile. His t-shirt was dark for a change, he usually wore white. There was some sort of band name, slogan, album cover. She couldn't see with the way his arms were crossed and leaning on the table. 

"Could I borrow a page of your notebook please?" she asked, he passed her the whole thing and a pen. Quietly, she flipped to a blank page and tapped the pen against her lips, thinking with a frown.

"Something on your mind?"

"Just trying to work something out." 

"I'm gonna do a check on the boys, I'll leave you to it for a bit." 

"Green matchbook," she mumbled before writing it down, followed by the initials S.O. "Shite," she wrote, with J.W alongside, her mind beginning to flow more freely, "drenched," she didn't have initials to add, but wrote 'boat guy'. "What was next?" she muttered. "Thunder and lightning..." Beard snorted in his sleep, she looked across and took in the full Piggy Stardust experience with a grin. There was a lightning bolt on his outfit. She froze immediately and looked down at the book and then around the bus frantically. Ted was coming back from his tour, she could see the t-shirt clearly now. It was an old Springsteen tour shirt with Thunder Road scrawled across the front. Rebecca’s jaw dropped,

"Don't know about you boss, but I was not built to spend eleven hours on a bus." He stretched his arms up to touch the roof of the coach. The t-shirt lifted slightly, exposing a neat line of his stomach. Rebecca’s brain was going into overload, the jumbled, rambling thoughts making no sense and in no particular order. 

"Fuck me." She muttered, Ted looked down at her with a raised eyebrow. 

"Well, ordinarily I'd offer to buy dinner first. I don't like to be too presumptuous." Rebecca saw the glint in his eye and felt the heat pool in her stomach. "Our very own Van Damme would like to know if we'll join the guys for a game of poker? I said you were still in training so he suggested we team up." He dropped to her ear level and whispered, "They're playing for M 'n' Ms, the peanut ones." 

"I don't like peanuts."

"That's a shame, I'll have to keep yours and I'll trade you for something else." He winked and offered his hand. As she took it, she felt something bolt in her heart. Thunder and lightning. That crazy old bint might have been onto something after all.

~~~~~~~~~

Ted had often wondered about couples or friends who could hold entire conversations with their eyes. He and Beard could do it. He and Michelle could not. He was starting to regret his over tired flirtatious behaviour a little while ago because he was now sitting in very close proximity to Rebecca and having a full conversation via eye contact. His eyes which had spent all morning quietly looking at Rebecca. Her legs in those jeans, wearing his sweater, sharing his coffee and snacks, her tired but content smile... He might have been slightly bitten by the love bug, but he thinks they might be better at this than he and Beard. And that's saying something. She sought his approval on her hand of cards, sure, but she was also regarding him with some weird combination of awe, lust, love... and trepidation. And shock. Not shock horror, fortunately. More like revelatory shock. Also a bit of relief. He nearly laughed aloud, that sure was a lot of feelings for one person to be feeling. In reply, she saw humour, confusion and something else she couldn't quite understand.

They were in the coach queue at the ferry port, once boarded, they'd be let off to get food and wander around the boat for an hour. They were all dying to stretch their legs and get some fresh air, the bus was starting to get stuffy and with over a dozen grown men in the bus, there was a distinctly locker room smell going on. They were all starting to flag, curling in on themselves and each other for somewhere to rest their heads. The poker game was over, Rebecca had played well for a novice, but Van Damme dominated the game. He wouldn't take her last 'all in' effort though, and told her to keep her handful of M 'n' Ms which she immediately handed over to Ted. Once the coach was settled in the belly of the ferry, Higgins hopped off to provide tickets and passports. He returned after a while with a weary "We're OK to get off for a bit. We need to be back on the coach twenty minutes before we dock at Dover so let's call it 5.30pm. An hour or freedom before our final furlong."

"I suggest you guys eat? Saves you the job later when we get home, we don't all have a Julie Higgins at home with a hot dinner." Beard offered. 

"Buy you a bourbon, Ted?" Rebecca offered. She wasn't sure the bank card that had been in her pocket would still work, but she had others in her unscathed bag. 

"As tired as I am, I cannot refuse that offer." He'd made it to the coach door before her and held out a hand to help her on the steep steps, which she gratefully took. She didn't let it go once she was on solid ground. They ordered chips to share, and coffees spiked with bourbon and took them onto the upper deck of the ferry where the sea breeze was fierce but welcomed. Most of the team had had the same idea and were enjoying the cool air of the English Channel. Even when they had the opportunity to be apart, they all wanted to be together, Rebecca marvelled. She nudged Ted and nodded her head towards the group a few rows down from them.

"Looks like Isaac has had his John Keating moment." She smiled, knowing with certainty that he'd get the Dead Poet's Society reference. He put a hand over his heart,

"Oh Captain! My Captain! Are you kiddin' me boss?!" She rolled her eyes,

"Ted! I'm not completely pop culturally illiterate you know." He laughed, handing her the last of the chips. "But something has definitely clicked with them."

"They had a pillowfight last night."

"In a sex club?"

"Nope."

"In a pot bar?"

"Nope. At the hotel. They had a couple of drinks, had a pillowfight, and went to bed. Sam was telling me. They spent so long trying to decide what to do - because they only wanted to do something together - that they ran out of time to actually go out and do something."

"It's sweet that they wanted to be together."

"It is, it bodes well for what Beard and I have planned for next week. Freedom, to move around the pitch fully supporting each other. True and meaningful teamwork."

"Oi fuckers! Back to the bus!" Roy bellowed from the front of the deck.

"Looks like the boss has spoken." Rebecca said with a wry smile.

"Oh you just wait til I tell you what he got up to last night, boss. It's such a doozy, I'm saving it for biscuits with the boss." Ted wiggled his eyebrows and took the empty tray and coffee cup from Rebecca, taking them to the nearest bin and then waiting for her to join him.

Back on the bus, silence had descended. Most were listening to music, waiting TV on their phones, or sleeping. Beard had moved to the front to sit with Trent, leaving plenty of space for Rebecca and Ted to lay across the seats. They lay either side of the table, their heads meeting at the top. They'd been unconsciously connected since she'd gotten on the bus that morning, hardly leaving each others side and sharing everything. 

"I'm sorry if I worried you last night." She whispered, turning to lay on her stomach so she could see him better, he did the same making them practically nose to nose.

"Freedom to move around boss. Sounded like you needed it. I'm sorry about the overload of messages. When you actually do see them, I'd just like to remind you that Beard gave me drugged tea. I was probably 'too much Ted'." Rebecca searched his face, she felt like she was truly seeing him.

"I think there might be no such thing as 'too much Ted'." 

"Well, Michelle certainly thinks there is."

"She's wrong. Very wrong." Rebecca said firmly. "Rupert thinks women should be seen and not heard, shouldn't run football clubs and shouldn't speak their mind."

"He's wrong. Very wrong." Ted repeated her words softly.

Y'know someone left a bottle of bourbon in my kitchen after my summer barbecue. When I get home, I'm taking a glass to my bath."

"That sounds like the best idea I've heard all day. Save me a spot."

"Of the bourbon or in the bath?" Rebecca asked boldly, quietly.

"Both." He replied with a slight shrug and a knowing smile. 

"Do you ever feel like things happen that are purely happening so they can lead you, draw you to something else more important?" Rebecca leaned up on her elbows, angling her body closer toward Ted.

"I sure do boss. We have to go through the mess so we can make progress"

"A work in prog-mess."

"Exactly." He blushed and looked down to where their hands were nearly joined, "Becca... I would really like to kiss you?"

"I would love nothing more, but I do think we probably shouldn't do it on this bus?" Ted lifted his head right up above the table to look down the bus.

"They're all asleep or distracted. No one's gonna know but you and me." He whispered.

"Well in that case, it would be rude not to." She smiled and reached towards him. The terrible angle allowed for the briefest chaste kiss, but it was enough. "Struck by fucking lightning." Rebecca said in awe as the bus pulled into the AFC Richmond carpark, the sun lowering over the training pitch and covering her home in a golden light.

[its-time-to-write]

Hi!! I hope you’re doing well and that you had a wonderful weekend:) My request (if you can) is short and sweet: the first time meeting Jamie’s mum! Maybe a heart to heart between the two women (you loved him first and because of that it is my honor to love him for the rest of my life typa deal) IDK anyway have fun with it and thank you!!!

Done! I love Georgie so much. Like, she gives off total mom vibes in the way where she seems like she’d try to be the sunlight in everyone’s day, you know?

there is happiness

You’re not taking a bus to fucking Manchester. Shit, you’ll take the train or a cab or maybe even walk before you get on a bus for upward of four hours with the Richmond Greyhounds. 

So why are you packing things into a duffel bag to do just that? It probably has something to do with the man sitting on the floor, debating which pants to pack. 

“Do you think I should take the Calvins?” he asks, pretending not to notice the murderous glare you shoot at him. 

“Don’t know why it matters,” you reply carelessly. “No one’s going to be seeing them anyway.”

Jamie gets up and slides his arms around you from behind, pressing a kiss to the crook of your neck. 

“Aw, don’t be so hard yourself babe,” he says. “You’re not no one.”

“You know what I mean,” you say, hugging his arms closer. “I’ll have you know I am very, very upset at you.”

You can feel his smirk against your neck. “Right, yeah, if upset is a new aneurism.”

“Euphemism,” you correct. “Wait. Shit. Or is it aneurism? Hey Siri, what’s the difference between a euphemism and an aneurism?”

Siri responds from your phone. 

You say, “Ah yes, an aneurism is what I’m going to have on that fucking bus ride on the way to meet your mum for the first time.”

Jamie flops backward onto the pile of clothes on the bed. “Babe, I don’t know why you’re so stressed out. It’s just my mum. She don’t bite.”

“Ok, sure. Yeah. I’ll calm down if you tell me exactly how many people you’ve brought home to meet her since making it to the Premier League. Actually, you know what? I’ll make it easier for you. You can even include platonic relationships.”

Jamie’s silent. 

“E-fucking-xactly. It’s just been Roy and Keeley. I wasn’t even this stressed when I met Ted because he likes everyone, but this is your mum. What if she hates me? It’s scary.”

“It’s not scary,” Jamie laughs. “She’s gonna love you.” You’re standing in between his legs now and he pulls you on top of him. “You’ll be fine, love, I promise.”

—

The bus ride was as expected. Smelly, loud, and filled with laughter. The team is still getting in the swing of things without Ted, but they seem to be picking up where he left off. 

You’re not really tired, especially since it’s mid-morning, but you’re pressed against Jamie’s side and he’s warm as always, so you find yourself drifting off.

—

The boys check into their hotel. You’re not staying with Jamie because the boys have all sorts of team-building things going on and Jamie’s mum insisted that she needs girl time.

You squeeze Jamie’s hand the entire way over to his mum and Simon’s place and he doesn’t even make any jokes about it, just squeezes back. 

Your heart rate shoots up a million times when Jamie knocks, then slows down about 10% when Georgie swings open the door and grabs you in a hug, barely giving Jamie any notice. 

“What the fuck?” he asks, amused. “Hey Simon, how’re you doing?"

“Oh lord, I told myself I wasn’t going to cry,” says Georgie, wiping away a tear. “Never thought he’d come home with a real, actual girl.”

Jamie makes an offended noise. “The fuck do you call all the girls I’ve been with?”

Georgie swats his arm playfully. “You know what I mean, love. None of them were built to last. Only one I sort of liked was that Keeley Jones, but I was never quite convinced you were right for her. But this one- well, must be the first girl you’ve brought home since primary school.”

“Come inside, come inside,” says Simon. “No sense standing in the doorway with the food getting cold.”

He ushers everyone inside and to the couches, and Georgie is latched onto Jamie’s arm now. He’s chattering away about the upcoming match and Roy as the manager, leaving you to take in your surroundings. There are photo prints on the walls and soft lighting and a table with photos of Jamie at every age. 

You smile at him as a baby, same giggly face as ever. 

It’s a nice evening. Simon’s made dinner and Georgie can’t stop beaming or ruffling Jamie’s hair. You’re the only other person on the planet allowed to touch his hair without warning.

He has to leave all too soon (“It’s a pillow fight, babe, and Sam’s fucking asking to get decked in the face,”) so you kiss him goodbye then head inside. It’s just Jamie’s family minus Jamie, and you have no idea how it’s going to go. Is this the moment Georgie tells you she actually hates you and you need to leave her baby boy alone? 

No. What happens instead is she takes your arm and leads you up the stairs to Jamie’s old room.

“Hasn’t changed since he left,” she beams. “Now come on, let’s chat just us girls! I feel like I already know you, what with the way Jamie talks about you all the time. Hardly a word out of his mouth that isn’t about you or footie.”

You grin. “He’s a man of singular tastes, that’s for sure.”

Georgie laughs. “Oh, I bet you’re good for him! Don’t let his head get too big, that’s for sure. My wee sexy baby always did need someone to take him down a few pegs here and there. But don’t let him fool you. He’s fragile as the next person, that one.”

You smile and say, “You two are so similar. He calls himself a ‘sexy baby,’ or a ‘wee sexy lad,’ all the time. And he can’t fool me. I know exactly who he is.”

Georgie’s eyes twinkle as she squeezes your hand. Not quite as strong as Jamie, but still the same type of grip. “Oh I’m sure of that, darling. I’m glad he’s got you all the way out there in Richmond. He’s been alone for a good while.”

You’re well aware of Jamie’s history since leaving Manchester. 

“You know, Keeley’s actually the one who kind of kickstarted all of this,” you say. “We’ve been friends for ages, and she- well, she sort of helped Jamie become a better version of himself.”

Georgie laughs. “Oh, you don’t have to sugarcoat it for me, love. I raised that lad, remember.”

“Ok, fine,” you say smiling, “She broke up with him because he was a massive prick, which started this whole redemption arc and she kind of forced us together at this event and, well, you know the rest. I just feel really, really lucky to be with him. Like if I were anywhere else at any other time, we could have missed each other. I could have missed him so easily.”

You shake your head. It’s hard to imagine a life without Jamie, and you wonder where you’d be at this exact moment if things had gone differently. What would be happening if you’d fought Keeley just a little more?

It doesn’t matter because Georgie’s squeezing your arm and saying, “But you’re here, darling. And it’s so wonderful that you two found each other, because I haven’t seen my baby smile like that in ages. I’ve got no worries about either of you.”

She pulls you into a hug, and it’s all you can do to keep from tearing up. 

God, who knew Jamie’s family would be so quick to accept you?

—

It’s late now, but you’re positive Keeley is still awake so you open your phone to send her a message.

You could have warned me, you text.

Three bubbles appear, then: what do you mean babe?

You roll your eyes. Fucker. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Your crazy football knockers are staring at me while I’m trying to sleep.

Keeley instantly responds with three angel emojis. I’m watching over you like a fucking guardian angel!

There’s a pause, then she texts, don’t know what Roy is. maybe the devil.

You snort at that. Roy Kent? Grump with a heart of gold? You don’t think so.

You close your text thread with Keeley and open the one with Jamie.

Nice football sheets, you write. Maybe we should get some for our room.

Jamie responds way too fast with an Amazon link and and an x. You smile then flip your phone over on the nightstand so you can get some good sleep, with Jamie’s guardian angels staring down at you.

[fardell24b]

Spider Quinn 09: A Part of the Journey - Part 1

09 A Part of the Journey

Quinn Morgendorffer wasn’t sure why Ted Dewit-Cinton wanted her to accompany her on his interview of Norman Osborn.

“Like, wouldn’t Daria be a better idea? You know her better,” Quinn said.

“She’d be too cynical,” Ted answered.

“That’s a good point,” Quinn conceded.

“And I know you’re branching out your interests,” Ted said.

“Mentoring Anna, Ben and Gerald is not exactly ‘branching out,’ Quinn said.

“Broadening your horizons then.”

“That’s right.”

“So would this be,” Ted said.

“So, when?”

“This afternoon, after school.”

“That would be good.”

Quinn looked at the large house Osborn had moved into on the southern edge of Lawndale. “Are you sure?” she asked Ted again.

“I have arranged it with him,” Ted explained.

“So, Mr. Osborn. What do you have to say about the rumors regarding secret labs at Oscorp?” Ted asked.

“Please, call me Norman.”

“OK, Norman. Are you going to answer my question?” Ted asked.

There then an interruption as a servant came in. “Excuse me Mr. Osborn, your son is on the phone.”

“I need to get this. I'll take it in the conservatory.”

“Looks like you hit a nerve there,” Quinn said.

“Just getting to the truth,” Ted said.

Unknown to Quinn and Ted, three people in ski masks were approaching the outside of the Osborn mansion…

“All right boys, this is the big one. Let's go!”

“I wonder if he's really taking a call or if he's just trying to avoid me,” Ted wondered.

“It could be either,” Quinn said.

Ted looked at an urn on nearby shelf. “That looks interesting,” he said. “It looks medieval!”

Quinn looked it, but suddenly her Spider Sense blared… “Ted?” she asked. She quickly realised that Ted had gone. ‘What has he got into now?’ she wondered. She left the room.

After some webswinging she caught up to Ted. “Ted! You can’t just go snooping around someone’s house.”

“Quinn, one could say that a mansion is designed for snooping,” Ted said. “But we could go into the Library and wait for Mr. Osborn to give us the run around.”

They entered the study to find the safe pried open. “Uh oh!” Quinn said. “What’s going on! Run Ted!”

Ted ran as robbers emerged from the safe. But there was another in the hallway. After a brief tussle he was pitched through a stained glass window.

Ted found himself holding onto the outside ledge of the window. “Quinn! Mr. Osborn! Help!” But he then fell.

“I have called the ambulance and the police,” Osborn said to Quinn. “I’m sorry for your friend.”

“Are you reconsidering moving to Lawndale now?” Quinn asked.

“No. Break ins are par for the course when it comes to being like me.”

“Oh!”

“Besides, there are reasons I moved here. But I will bring in the best doctors from New York for your friend.”

Lawndale Sun-Herald

Saturday 9 January 2000

Break-in at Osborn’s New Mansion

Quinn was visiting the Hospital again. She didn’t want to be back so soon after Ben had been released after the snake bite. She found Doctor Phillips checking on Ted. “Is he going to be alright?��� she asked.

“My colleagues and I aren’t sure. The fall was pretty bad. He broke his left arm and has a concussion. We want to make sure there’s no brain swelling.”

“I should have got to him,” Quinn said.

“Mr. Osborn mentioned that. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I guess so.”

“He is still here,” Phillips said. “Threatening a malpractice suit as much as your mother would,” he added, referring to an incident the previous year when Daria was hospitalised due to a rash.

“I’ll be back.”

“Ms. Morgendorffer,” Norman Osborn said. “I’m sorry about what happened to your friend.”

“I just don't know what happened. One minute the room is empty and then they appear out of thin air. Do the police have any leads?” Quinn asked.

“They don't think I'm the first one that's been hit. There have been over a dozen of these robberies all over the county,”

“Right.”

Quinn returned to where Ted was still recuperating. “I will find out what happened,” she told him.

She stayed for half an hour and then left.

Elsewhere in Lawndale. Angie Zammit met her boyfriend Robert Allan.

“I thought you meeting me at the hospital,” Robert said.

“Sorry, I forgot,” Angie said. “How is Ted?”

“Better but not out of the woods yet.”

“That's the thing with this town. It'll always find a way to keep you down.”

“What’s wrong, Angie?” Robert asked. “Is it your Mom?”

“No, I have to do something.”

Daria saw her sister climb in through the window at the end of the hall. “We have a front door, you know,” she said.

“Yes. But I didn’t want to talk to Mom.”

“Oh!”

“You know Ted’s in the hospital, right?” Quinn asked.

“Mom told me.”

“But I was right there when he was attacked.”

“It isn’t your fault,” Daria said.

“That’s what Doctor Phillips and Mr. Osborn said.”

“And they’d be right.”

“But he could have died,” Quinn said.

“But he didn’t. It’s not like what happened with Dad.”

Quinn breathed deeply. “I know that. It’s just, grief, you know.”

Daria hugged her sister. “I know,” she said, thinking that maybe Quinn needed more, professional, help.

Elsewhere, Robert met Joey outside one of Lawndale’s small theaters. “You said it’s urgent?” Joey asked. “But Ted will get better soon right?”

“It’s not that,” Robert said.

“Then what?”

“Two things. First, something’s up with Angie.”

“Oh,” Joey said.

“And Uncle Nate is selling the theatre.”

“He is?”

“Yes,” Robert answered.

“Then let’s find him.”

The two cousins then entered the theatre.

“Uncle Nate!” Joey called.

“Joey!” Nathaniel Callahan said.

“Robert tells me you’re selling the theatre.”

“That’s right,” Nate said.

“But why?”

“Not sure why you’re interested.”

“I spent a lot of time here when I was younger,” Joey admitted, “And this is where Mom and Dad met.”

“I know, but Lawndale has many theatres and business was struggling before the new multiplex opened in the Mall.”

“But who’s buying it?”

“Norman Osborn,” Nate answered.

[that-was-tedious]

Bobby is my favorite character and I will not be taking any notes at this time.

I love every single other character/regular in this show. Buck is definitely a close second, also Chimney. I love them all tho. But Bobby is so human, and flawed, and he’s been so traumatized I’m unsure how he isn’t in a mental hospital (thank god for TV magic) but he still is everyone’s dad and he loves them all so much.

He adores his wife, he loves her kids as his own, he’s bffs with her ex husband, he’s adopted everyone at his fire station as his children and he loves them so much. He pushes Buck to be better, but also gives him the support he so desperately craves. Buck is just as good for Bobby, as highlighted in the lightning episode. Hen is seemingly always so sure of herself, but Bobby helps give her the validation she needs and support! (Athena Grant, you are also a wonder and Hen couldn’t have better friends.) And he treats Hen like the important member of the team that she is, no questions asked. Chimney’s life would be so drastically different without Bobby (as would all of their lives tbh) but he’d probably be dead so like. This one is slightly different from the others I understand but it’s early please forgive me. And Eddie! It seems like the epitome of “hey you’re my father in law and my own dad is kind of iffy so could you adopt me?” (Look, even if Buddie never becomes canon they’re a little married, to quote Turk from Scrubs. Buck does help raise Christopher and is an integral part of Eddie’s life as his best friend). But Bobby gives Eddie the truth when he needs it and he just loves his kids so much. He gets to be a dad, even after what happened to him. After EVERYTHING that’s happened to him. He’s in a happy, stable relationship, has a bunch of kids that love him to death, and he’s so human.

It’s not every day that a television show has characters that are this complex and human. Sure, they’d all be dead ten times over in real life (or in jail, or in a hospital, mental or otherwise) but the way they react to things is so much more realistic than most tv shows.

Also Athena and Bobby? Dream team. Crime solving duo. If they ever do another spinoff, please just let it be Bobby and Athena being “retired” and solving the most ridiculous crimes and cold cases wherever they go.

I miss his dynamic with May (and Harry, but he and May were much closer cause of the season where she was home and not at college) and I hope we get to see it again.

I just have a lot of feelings about Bobby. All of them really. (He doesn’t really interact with Maddie. She actually doesn’t really interact with anyone but Chimney and Buck very often which is kind of weird but also not? Idk she and Eddie should get together to make fun of Buck more often. Just two people, drinking beer and talking about one of the most important people in their lives and how he’s an idiot.)

Anyway, this has been a long rant to say that Bobby is one of my favorite characters ever and if anything ever happens to him I will sob like a baby.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

PS: let that man treat Ji like his granddaughter. He MARRIED them, give him the baby to cuddle and spoil rotten. Her real grandparents kinda suck and live far away.

Okay NOW I’m done. 💜

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 4x05: He walked back in and clapped his hands together and went ‘okay, lets do this! I am calm, i am collected, i am sorry i told you to go fuck yourself but also not really because I am your big brother so fuck you, now give me some Brian Kinney!’ And the episode literally starts with Brian ‘FINALLY WE ARE BACK TO YOU LISTENING TO ME! Look at this pretty man. Ahh Ted and Brian together, i fucking love this. AWWW HE IS CALLING JUSTIN, yeah justin where are you? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? *starts doing breathing exercises or whatever* i hate this motherfucker. Justin, he had a gun as a kid and you’re just chill about it. For fucks sake MY Justin would never like this guy. You know what else is intense Justin? Brian. Now go home. Justin. I am begging you, stop this madness.‘ ‘so let me get this hetero, they are seeing Justin’s behavior changing, they are seeing his art for Rage becoming angrier and not one of them thinks that maybe they should sit him down and do something before he goes in too deep? BEN I WOULDVE EXPECTED BETTER FROM YOUR BORING ASS! Or you Debbie, i thought you were like Justins mom! Yall are disappointing and horrible..i forgot Ben is a writer.’ ‘This might be random but i wonder where the kid that plays gus is now?’ ‘JUSTIN YOU ARE NOT HANGING THAT UP AS SOME TYPE OF ART. This fucker has been at this place more than Bri- has brian even been here? I am getting annoyed already. (Cody rolls his eyes at Daphne) *takes a deep breath* oh roll them one more time you lil shit, maybe you finally find a brain somewhere in the back. (Justin does that gun thingy to Daph) i will literally end you. You are being annoying and cringey and weird. (Daphne says hobbs name and he pauses tv and gets up and walks outside and just stares at the fucking sky) ‘WHY ARE WE TELLING HIM ABOUT THE BAT FUCKER?! NO. Daphne, youre smarter than this, you wouldnt let him get away with this. Why are you doing this? Go to Brian and get him help for fucks sake, don’t encourage it! You of all people would hate Cody’ ‘aw Emmett is showing Brian and Mike his place. Wait. Brian actually willingly came to check it out. Cute. What did i say? Best friends. It does kind of look like Brian’s place. Brian is looking really good this season. Why are we lying over books? *pauses ep and starts laughing* NO WAY. ben’s book was boring? Really? WOW. SHOCKER. I cannot believe that. (Brian says “kinda like him?”) *stands up and starts pointing at the tv* I KNEW, I FUCKING KNEW I WASNT THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT HE WAS BORING! Of course Justin is a genius.But Brian you should take your own advice and sit him down and tell him to stop this cody bullshit OR better yet, go meet Cody and yell at him in your Brian Kinney energy. Please do, i deserve to see that’ and Britin scene is up ‘my sweet sweet idiot child, get out of this bullshit before it’s too late please! OH FUCK BRIAN FOUND A GUN! So now he has his own gun?! BRIAN WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST *throws his hands in the air and shakes them*, ohhhh Brian is angry. FINALLY. HE IS SCARED THAT JUSTIN WILL GET KILLED! FINALLY SOMEONE. Brian for fucks sake please stop this shit somehow’ ‘wait. So Lindsay called Brian for help with Mel? What the fuck is he? Red cross? They could be such good friends but somehow Brian is weirdly the nicer of the two which is weird. It does make sense Melly. Why is she so stubborn that she cant see that? You know what? Brian get out of bed and go to justi- OH FUCKING HELL, I WILL PAY MONEY TO GET RID OF CODY’ He then paused the episode and went to the fridge for another soda, walked up to the couch and went ‘remind me to get angry at the doctor for not letting me drink alcohol yet. Watching this shit sober is hard’

Brian calling Justin to only get his voicemail is something that can be so personal. And yes, your brother is 100% right to yell at Justin about this whole thing.

AND BRIAN GOING TO SEE EMMETT'S NEW PLACE IS SO SWEET

NO WAY. ben’s book was boring? Really? WOW. SHOCKER. I cannot believe that. (Brian says “kinda like him?”) *stands up and starts pointing at the tv* I KNEW, I FUCKING KNEW I WASNT THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT HE WAS BORING! <- no, he is not alone in this, he's in good company with me and Brian.

Brian being scared for Justin is sooooo ... like Justin do you not remember prom (well, he doesn't but exactly). Brian does! He doesn't want you to get nearly dead again. Or all the way dead.

Oh and we're nearly up to Lindsay cheating, huh? That is a tough storyline. The biphobia is real.

[joeycupcakerichter]

A letter he'll never read.

This is just going to be a incoherent mess of thoughts that I need to get out of my skull because otherwise they're going to drown me. so I'm gonna throw it under a read more and post it here so the thought can be out of my head and I can go back and reread whenever I start to feel like I'm losing control again.

Dear [him]

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know I've probably seemed obsessive and weird and I wish I could stop but I think writing this down, explaining it even though I know you'll never read it will help me process the feelings and move on.

I'm sorry it had to be you. I'm sorry that you were the one that caught me on a bad day and made me smile. I read too much into it. If I've ever made you uncomfortable in anyway, I'm so deeply sorry. There's some things that I think you need to understand about me that I think will help the two of us make sense of this and move forward.

My marriage was one built on trauma and distress. I was married to a man that loved the idea of me, not the person I truly was. He spent six years trying to shove me into a box that I didn't fit into, trying to make me into the girl he always wanted when he simply was not. It may sound ungrateful to say, but I was drowning in his attention but you have to understand that this was not the kind of attention anyone deserves. It was manipulative, it was guilt tripping, it was toxic in every sense of the word. He hated the things I loved and if he didn't start off initially hating them, he would quickly begin to hate them because they were associated with me. I know you're probably wondering what that has to with you and I promise I'm getting to it

The earliest date I have to tell you when this started was February 4, 2019. Yeah, you heard me right, two fucking years of this nightmare coping mechanism that you didn't ask to be a part of. February 4th was the day I created a playlist on Spotify because I was going to go to the gym. The first song on that playlist was Rev 22:20 by Puscifer because that's the song that every time I hear it, I think of you. The beginning of the song is enough to explain what I was feeling in that time.

Don't be aroused by my confession Unless you don't give a good goddamn about redemption I know Christ is comin', and so am I And you would too if this sexy devil caught your eye

I wanted you so badly. You represented everything that my current relationship lacked. You would give me attention, but only if I earned it. I was married at the time, so confessing my attraction to you would be something that you would have to not care if it sent you to hell. It was stupid, and I kept my mouth shut about it. I wasn't about to have an affair with you. I know I was already emotionally cheating on my husband, but I was not going to take the next step. I would just cling to this concoction of you I'd made in my head to cope with the misery that I was forcing myself to live with. It wasn't healthy and it DEFINITELY wasn't fair to you. You didn't ask to have someone develop an infatuation with you that you didn't want. I did my best to be cool and remember who the fuck I was but I know you knew. I deluded myself into thinking that you were interested, even if you couldn't pursue it. I think that made it worse.

Your trip and the jokes we made about it truly cemented this stupid ass infatuation into my brain. The thought of running away from my life with you haunted my dreams. In fact, there was one dream that I had that I still distinctly remember that plays in my head on repeat every now and then. We were at a party, you pulled me into the pantry and we were talking and you looked at me, confused, and said, "You know I like you, right?" I woke up immediately after, confused and with my heart pounding. This came shortly after you told me that your friend had backed out of the trip and you had an extra ticket, if I just got my passport. I didn't, of course, but I remember you telling me that I could sit next to you on the plane and rub your back as you puked into your airplane bag because you were afraid to fly.

I'm terrified that I sound insane and creepy and unsettling. I KNOW you were just kidding around but it was something I could cling to. It kept me alive when I was laying in bed staring out of my window wishing I had to courage to just jump. That was a lot to put on you but I comforted myself by reminding myself that you would never know. I would never ever cross the line of telling you how much that stupid little joke meant to me. You'll probably never know this, but you saved my life. And for that I can only thank you.

I'll never forget when you left, either.

I channeled the confusing feeling of loss and pain into a story that I'm still incredibly proud of. I won't bore you (or creep you out) with details, but you left two months after your trip and I did nothing but write. I wrote and I wrote and I wrote that pain away until I couldn't feel it anymore. It was gone. I fixed it all. I was fine. I barely thought about you. That initial hyperfixation was gone. You were gone.

Until you weren't.

A mutual friend told me that you were coming back and I thought my heart was going to erupt. That was when I stopped writing my story because I didn't need it anymore. You were coming back. I tried to remain casual, but that December when you were finally back, I could've wept with joy. It was sad, it was pathetic but you were back and everything was going to be fine. I had my coping mechanism back. We both know I can't help but look at you when you're near by. Even just a glimpse could make me smile. You were so soothing to me. You still are. It's illogical and it doesn't make sense, but whenever I talk to you, or even just see you I am simultaneously relieved and set on edge. I have to watch myself. I don't want you to know this creepy stalker narrative I'd unintentionally crafted. It wasn't even stalkery.

I didn't cross lines, I just wanted to talk to you, be around you somewhere that was an even playing field. I've only texted you when I absolutely had to. I couldn't bring myself to bother you. I put you up on a pedestal and didn't ask you for anything more. I wanted more, I craved that sweet validation but I wouldn't cross that line. We were work friends, if you could even call it that. We were coworkers that sat together on break all the time. Sometimes I would feel like maybe you could be interested but I would always reminded myself that just because I wanted you to be, didn't mean you were. I constantly kept myself in check. I barely even mentioned you to my friends and even when I did, you were the mediocre white guy at work. Hell, I still refer to you as that because I need to keep myself in check. You are not the end all be all of men. Believe me, I would let myself believe that if I didn't keep myself in check.

When the pandemic hit, you were gone again. I thought it was forever this time and I decided it would be okay. It had to be okay. I wasn't going back to work if you weren't going to be there and by all logic, you shouldn't have been. You were the reason I didn't hate my job. I liked talking to you for fifteen minutes at a time that much. It's silly, but it made everything better. I didn't need to date you. I didn't need to sleep with you. I just wanted you to be my friend and you had been. I thought that chapter was closed.

And then my husband left me. And I found out you were back again. Despite everything I'd figured, that you wouldn't go back for a third time, that you wouldn't even be able to, another mutual friend mentioned that you were back. And I was ready to run back into that hellhole's hateful arms to have you close and as my friend again. I couldn't talk to you outside of work, I didn't know what to say. I was scared it was going to come out wrong because things were different now. I was different now. I wasn't going to be married for much longer. I let myself stray into thinking maybe now could be different.

You gave my husband an instrument to fix and he left it and me here so I figured I could give it back to you, at the very least. I was gonna shoot my shot. "of course I remember you". Now I'm not sure if that was as flattering as I initially took it but you forgot and I cried. But I left you alone. If you had any of the same feelings I had, you wouldn't have. It was okay. You didn't have to match my energy. Mine was out of control and emotional, coming only a week after my husband left the state. I was a train wreck and I'm glad now that you didn't come pick it up. I would've embarrassed myself. I would've tried to tell you all of this to your face and it would've been a mess. It wasn't fair to you. It wasn't fair to me. I was in mourning, I was in shock. Just like most of the people I knew, you probably wouldn't have known what to say. What do you say to a woman who had been abandoned so easily and quickly? Awkward pity in my experience with people who weren't you. But I told you. You knew. That's all I wanted.

And now, I'm terrified that I'm becoming FAR too obvious. I wasn't subtle before, but I KNOW I'm not subtle now. I'm terrified of making you uncomfortable, or even worse, acting like Mandee. Becoming so overbearing and not picking up on vital social cues that would tell me that you didn't want me around. Every now and then, I'll forego sitting outside to sit with you but I won't do it every break. I don't want to seem like I won't leave you alone. I don't want to seem like a crazy woman who's obsessed with you. Maybe I still am, despite my best intentions, but I try so hard not to be. You don't owe me ANYTHING. And sometimes I get the vibes that I need to leave you alone so I do. And I resign myself to the fact that I ruined it because I couldn't keep my shit together.

My standards are so low right now, that you can talk to me first and I feel like maybe we could still be friends. Not a damn thing more than that. I can't stress that enough. Despite everything I've written here, it's not like I want you to sweep me off my feet and save me from everything. I just.... I want to be your friend. I want to actually know you other than anecdotal conversations.

I don't know how to finish this. It's pathetic, its cathartic and I just needed to get it out of me. I'm so tired of keeping it in and while I won't tell you, just writing it down helps. So thank you. Thank you for everything you don't know you've done for me. I'm sorry I let it go this far and get this... weird. Thank you again.