#if you want to read it on ao3 i will post it there too

[bananayuyu]

all tied up {part 1}

Pairing: Yunho x f reader

Genre: angst, eventual smut

Word count: 10.5k

Summary: You never thought you'd have such an awful rivalry with a coworker. How is he so mean, so petty, so under your skin...?

Warnings: smut, MDNI, mentions of reader wanting to die and past traumas, dub con/non con, reader is physically bound against her will, mean yunho, nipple play, fingering, unprotected penetration, after care of sorts (all the smut happens in part 2)

A/n: Well I had the goal of making this maybe 2k words initially, and now it's 22.4k so I decided to split it into two parts. Let me know if you'd like to be tagged for part 2, I will be posting it very soon! (and please read the warnings and don't read this if you aren't in the right headspace <3)

Read it on ao3

"Morning."

Your coworker's tone is cold as ice, as if he swallowed the winter air on his way to the building and was now spitting it at you. 

"Hi," you grunt, not bothering to look up from your desk. 

It was a biting, harsh morning, and the headache you were nursing wasn't doing any favors to your mood. Only minutes into your work day you already felt bleary, your legs still shivering from the short walk between the subway station and the twenty-story building your office rested in. In the mornings you woke it from its slumber; the lights in the lobby blinking on, even the heater rumbling awake as you walked through the door, as if it took a break from its job all night, too. It certainly felt that frosty in here, especially at 7am sharp, when you stumbled in before everyone else. You preferred this early shift and were thankful to be walking out the door so early each day, early enough that even in the dead of winter the sun hadn't yet set. The early mornings never bothered you; the solitude was tender and warm with you, even if the air was cruel on these freezing winter mornings. 

The intrusion of your steely coworker was unwelcome, to say the least.

"Why are you here so early?" you ask, a sharp edge to your tone. You're bitter that you won't have your usual hour to yourself, especially given the meeting you are set to have with your boss in just a few hours. You'd needed this time to mentally prepare, and here he was ruining your plans, yet again.

"I figured I'd come in early to get work done before our little meeting with the boss," he replies, a slow sigh leaving his lips and betraying just how tense he is. Well, at least it wasn't just you. You had been dreading this morning since last Friday, when the two of you had your worst argument yet, prompting your boss to demand a meeting with you both. You had no idea what would happen; you'd never had your boss demand a scheduled meeting with you in the six years you'd worked here. Things were different now, now that you worked as a grant writer and not at the front desk, but still it was concerning. He always just met with people spontaneously, and the scheduled bi-weekly meetings for the entire administrative staff were the time where conflicts and confusion were dealt with. He'd never called just two people into his office like this; then again, no one at your company had ever butted heads like you two, so badly that it left the whole office simmering with frustration, everyone dreading the sour expression that permanently settled on your features by the end of each day. You were so different now, so changed from the calm and happy woman they all knew.

You stood to make your way to the kitchen, passing by his desk as you went to turn on the kettle, boiling water for your first tea of the day. This morning called for multiple cups, your throat scratchy and dry from nerves, your body depleted from your lack of sleep. You'd stayed up far too late with your best friend last night, rambling about the meeting, begging her to help you come up with an excuse to stay home. She'd laughed with you, throwing out a few random ideas, but she knew as well as you did that you'd be here today. As much as you dreaded it, you would only miss this meeting if you were on your literal death bed, your job meaning too much to you to lose it.

From this angle he had a perfect view of you, your face scrunched up in concentration as you set the kettle to temperature, placing other employee's dirty dishes from the sink into the dishwasher. You were too obsessed with organization, in a way that made him irrationally angry, but he couldn't stop watching you every day, watching the way you adhered so severely to your little routines, watching the way his interruptions cast your face in worry and made you snap at him. Today, like every Monday, you wore your favorite shoes, the black platform Mary Janes. Up your legs stretched your thigh-high wool socks, also black, held up by a ruffled stretch of gray lace at the top. Over your hips lay a gray tartan skirt, reaching almost down to your socks, leaving an inch of bare thigh exposed in a way he thought wasn't really work appropriate. And then there was your black turtleneck, tight and accentuating your obviously braless chest, the curves and shapes of your body not hidden in the slightest. He was watching you intently, waiting for you to finally notice, and boy was he not disappointed when you finally did.

"You've hid my mug, haven't you," you spit, slamming the dishwasher harder than you needed to. You hadn't seen it in the cabinet, so you'd gingerly searched through the dishwasher too, desperately hoping someone else hadn't used it the previous week and neglected to wash it. Not finding it in there was a relief in some ways, but immediately you knew who was at fault for its disappearance, and his dark chuckle in response to you confirmed your suspicions ten fold. "You're such a dick," you grumble under your breath, reaching for any other random mug in the cabinet, needing something to house the tea you desperately need.

"What was that?" he asks, his tone mocking you, knowing exactly the sentiment of what you'd said even if he hadn't heard you clearly. You sigh and roll your eyes, ripping open your tea bag and plopping it in the mug, gently pouring the steaming liquid over it. "You just love to blame me for everything, don't you, even if you have no proof." His voice is low, dark, and it makes a shiver run through you even as the steam of the water warms your face. "You're cruel y/n, so cruel." His tone of voice makes you feel trapped, even all these feet away, and you just freeze for a bit, your tea steeping a bit longer than it should have. A creak of the building snaps you out of it, and you fling the tea bag into the trash, gently blowing over the mug and taking a tiny sip, testing the temperature.

Finally you turn, catching a glimpse of him. Jeong Yunho, the newest addition to your little office, hired about six months ago now, you realized. The date hit you in the gut this morning; the year had flown by, especially the last half, and in days it would no longer be this year anymore, no longer be the ending of an adventure but rather the start, when you'd have to plan again, think again. His suit today is stone gray, the color only barely darker than his wool overcoat, his tie a dark navy that really just looked black. His shoes were dark navy too; which you only knew because of the difference in the toe box from his other black shoes, the ones he normally wore. It must be a special day, he must be heading to something important after work. Some sort of meeting? No, that wouldn't really make sense, you all didn't work in a field where meetings were held outside of work hours, in restaurants or bars. Unless the meeting was about getting out of here, finding another placement. Maybe a date? Who'd want to date such an asshole, though?

He was rich and good-looking. Even you could recognize that. And boy did it irk you, that he looked so good in his suits, that he wasn't too masculine or too feminine, that his nose sloped in just the perfect way, that his smile was soft and bright and so endearing. You hadn't met many people in your life who were so captivating at first glance, and sure, when he'd first started here a part of you hoped something might happen between the two of you. You'd eat lunch at each other's desks, excitedly discussing your newest grants or talking about your favorite shows, which of course, were the same. It was a blissful few weeks, a beautiful honeymoon of sorts. Of course it couldn't last forever; you landed your dream job, everything you'd been working towards finally coming true last year, a new perfect apartment with your best friend being the cherry on top. Of course this year a man appeared and tried to ruin everything.

The two of you work in silence until 7:45, when everyone else starts arriving for the day, led of course by Dr. Acharya, the supervising psychotherapist. Next is Tally, who gives you a short wave as she heads to reception, her horn-rimmed glasses peeking over the window to blow you a kiss when she finds the mug of tea you'd made waiting for her. Soon many others scramble in together; Marnie, Amir, Rua, and Keisha, each making their way to their individual offices to ready themselves for their first clients. Soon Jongho, in charge of billing and accounting, walks in too, sitting down at his desk next to Yunho. And finally Eliana stumbles in just before eight, her giant coffee in hand, her eyes slightly dark with panic like they always are as she rushes into her office. Your boss, Mr. Kangsoo, won't be in for another hour at least and the day lurches forward as the first clients of the day are brought back for their counseling sessions, the office breaking into a low hum that will stay with you until you leave.

Your digitizing task today is boring but necessary, and that headache isn't leaving you, even with the tea warming your throat and your favorite piano concerto comforting you through the morning. You always loved Rachmaninov in the winter. But even so, your mood was sour, too sour. Yunho and Jongho's comfortable chatter was making your blood boil, making it hard for you to focus on your stupid, tedious task. In a huff you stand, heading straight for the reception office, papers in hand.

"Hi hi," Tally greets you as you open her door, gently closing it behind you.

"Dude, I'm dreading this meeting," you say immediately, sighing.

"Why? I'm sure nothing bad will come of it, Mr. Kangsoo loves you," she says, canceling an appointment on her screen and typing out a note.

"I know, I'm just already pissy today, not exactly the best mood to be bringing to the boss's office," you chuckle, setting your papers on the corner of her desk. "I kept neglecting digitizing this pile and now I can't stop obsessing over it. And Yunho came in early today, and hid my fucking mug. Again."

"Did you see this?" she asks, grabbing a sticky note from the corner of her computer and holding it out to you.

Can you please let the pretty one know she's never driving me from this job, no matter how hard she tries?

"God he's such an ass," you whisper, making Tally giggle. "Thank god for you girl, I don't know what I'd do without you here."

"You're 100% sure it's Yunho?" she asks, eyeing you.

"Who else would it be?" you reply, rolling your eyes, making her laugh again. 

"Well, I guess now 'the pretty one' has been told," she giggles, rolling her eyes too as she crumples up the note and tosses it in the trash.

"Like I said, he's an ass," you reply, not as quietly this time. A parent obviously waiting for their child snaps their head up, looking in your direction. They're maybe twenty feet away, and the window between the lobby and the reception desk is small, so you doubt they really heard you. But you balk in embarrassment anyway, silencing yourself.

"I should get back to my desk, I guess," you say, sighing as you pick up your stack of papers once again.

"Just ignore him," Tally says, smiling kindly.

"I'll try," you sigh, earning a disapproving look from Tally. "I will, I promise. You're right, I know, I should just ignore him," you answer, looking over to see the back of his head, his large hands crossed over each other and resting there on his jet black hair.  Fuck him, you can't help but think. Everything had been going so well, and you'd never been someone who got into drama at work, ever. It was a point of pride for you for a long time, a huge reason why your boss gave you the position he did and trusted you to be a part of his team. Now it had all been ruined, by this fucking asshole, in his perfectly tailored suits.

The day dragged on, your mind spinning with anxiety. It wouldn't leave you until that dreaded meeting, you knew that, so you busied yourself with scanning and organizing the files, not bothering to try to get any writing done. There was no way you would, not in this state.

Finally your boss arrived, his heavy footsteps sending waves of dread through you, your stomach a fluttering mess. You hadn't been able to eat this morning, which was very unlike you; you could feel how weak you were from the lack of sustenance, the adrenaline making you shakier than it normally did. You stumbled on wobbly legs towards his office once he called for you, Yunho's presence dark and foreboding behind you, and you swore you heard him whisper 'behave yourself' as the two of you passed into the office. Your blood was boiling as you sat down, the two chairs facing the front of your boss's desk, your face a permanent scowl as you stared Yunho down, watching him settle himself down in the chair and spread his legs farther than he needed to, looking all too comfortable.

"Ok, to start, this is not to scare you, or fire you," your boss begins, already zeroing in on the dynamic between you; the cool and collected look of Yunho, and the angry, stricken look of you, your eyes deep with worry when you meet your boss's gaze. "You both know me, I don't really do this sort of thing. I don't need to control you all, to be a good leader." He sighs deeply, looking almost as pained as you do, like he's mulled this over for too long himself. "I just can't let this go on any longer. The conflict between you two is affecting everyone, and it's clearly affecting your own work, too. I can see it in the quality of your writing. You are both very smart, very good grant writers, and even so you've been doing a good job, but I know you both can do better. And this fighting, it really needs to stop." He sighs deeply again, shaking his head subtly, like his subconscious is trying to rid itself of the stress you two have caused him. It makes so many feelings bloom in your guts, but the overwhelming one is guilt, the feeling so entirely consuming that you have the urge to jump to the floor now and start babbling out apologies. But you stop yourself, stop the tears from coming, and taking a deep breath you regain some composure. You know your boss, and you know his cadence, so you know he has more to say.

"So, we're figuring this out today. I don't care what it takes, we're settling this. So tell me, why do you two fight so much?" His eyes sweep back and forth, eyeing each of you for any sign, any subtle movement that could give him some idea of what was going on. He had his own theories, but he really couldn't be sure, and due to his laid back nature with his staff, he hadn't been monitoring you two enough to really know. With a sigh he leans back in his chair, letting the silence hang in the room until one of you is willing to break it.

"Sir, I don't think she's liked me from the moment I started here," Yunho finally speaks up, leaning forward in his chair and setting his elbows on his knees, the casual and confident gesture making your skin crawl. "I think she's been trying to make me miserable, so I'll leave-"

"That is not tru-"

"I think she feels some sort of ownership here, cause she's worked here so much longer than m-"

"That is absolutely not true!" you cry, your shot nerves leaving you unable to control your volume. "I would never try to run someone out of the office that way, that's completely unprofessional! He's the one who started all of this, he's the one who leaves nasty notes for me and hides my things and puts me down constantly in every admin meeting, trying to make me look like an idiot in front of everyone! If we're really gonna go there, I think he feels intimidated by my experience here, by the fact that I have a clearly established relationship with everyone, that you and all the therapists like me, and that even though he has more experience than me I'm still writing better grants!"

"Y/n, please keep yo-" your boss starts.

"I'm sorry, sir, but he left a note for me on Tally's computer this morning! How unprofessional is that! Now he's dragging her into our drama too, which I promise you I've never done! I-"

"Oh sure, you've never complained about me to anyone in the office," Yunho juts in, rolling his eyes. "It's not like everyone here sides with you on everything, always. If it weren't for Jongho I think you would have made everyone in this office hate me by now."

"Everyone loves you here, what do you mean?" you shoot back, your eyebrows furrowed in frustration. "I never talk about you to any of them, not even Tally. Because I know it would be wrong. Maybe everyone sides with me on certain issues because I'm right, have you ever considered that?! And by the way, Tally thinks poorly of you because of her own observations, because she doesn't like the things you say to me. So that has everything to do with you and your shitty behavior-" you cut yourself off, slapping a hand over your mouth. Because as comfortable as you are with your boss, you never, ever curse in front of him. It's an unspoken rule in the office, and one you'd never struggled to follow before. Shame washes over you like a wave of boiling water, making your whole body begin to shake.

"I'm so sorry, sir," you bow your head to him, your eyes closed as you fight to keep yourself from bursting into tears.

"She's obviously quite emotionally unstable, sir," Yunho pipes up from beside you, and of all the things he's said recently it's definitely the most hurtful. Your head shoots up, a single tear racing down your cheek despite your attempts to keep it at bay, and you just stare at him, your face betraying everything you're feeling.

"There's no need for that sort of insult right now, Yunho," your boss scolds him. "I need you two to resolve this, not fight even more. So tell me about this note, what did it say? Why did you leave a note for y/n on Tally's desk?"

"I'm sorry sir, I understand," Yunho responds, his perfectly respectful tone and gestures looking so put on. "And honestly sir, I have no idea what y/n is talking about. I didn't leave any notes for anyone this morning."

"Oh, so you're going to lie right to our boss's face?" you ask him, your volume lower but your anger still evident. "Do I need to go grab Tally? Seriously?"

"Did this note have my name on it anywhere?" he chuckles, fixing you with a strong gaze. And if you aren't mistaken, there's some sort of twinkle in his eye, almost like he's enjoying this. Is it seeing you suffer, seeing the anger and sadness in your eyes that makes him feel joy? Or maybe it's just messing with you in front of your boss, forcing you to over-explain yourself to the point of looking hysterical. Whatever it is it makes you uneasy, your stomach feeling like it might fall out of your ass at any moment.

"Sir, it said, 'Can you please let the pretty one know she's never driving me from this job, no matter how hard she tries?" you say, exasperated. "He just said he thinks I've been trying to drive him out. It was obviously him who left that note." You turn your body to face your boss again, not wanting to catch even a glimpse of Yunho anymore, your eyes pleading with Mr. Kangsoo to believe you.

"Sir, I did not write that. I would never say something so inappropriate about a coworker," Yunho adds, and though you don't see it, he's staring right at you. Your boss sighs heavily, your eyes fixed to the way he's staring at Yunho, the lines in his forehead deep with frustration. He looks like he's about to start speaking but then stops himself, another deep breath moving through his lungs, before running his hands through his hair and leaning back in his chair again.

"God, I wish you two would just sleep with each other already and get it out of your systems," he groans under his breath, but you hear it loud and clear, your whole body on high alert.

"What?!" you snap, your response involuntary. You had respected this man for years, admired the way he ran this office with calm confidence and respect for everyone, and you couldn't believe something so inappropriate had just come out of his mouth.

"Y/n, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be gross. I just can't help but wonder if part of the issue between the two of you is, well, the obvious attraction," Mr. Kangsoo responds, sighing deeply. "I do sincerely apologize if I'm reading things incorrectly, or if that last comment made you uncomfortable. I don't in any way want to encourage my employees to sleep with each other, obviously, and that just slipped out of my mouth. It was inappropriate, I know. I just feel like I'm at my wit's end with you two, and I feel desperate to find some sort of solution. Because you both are incredible employees and I don't want to have to get rid of either of you."

"I'm so sorry sir, that this whole situation with us two has caused you stress, but I can assure you there's no attraction here. Only dislike," you reply, letting out a shaky breath.

"No attraction at all, sir," Yunho adds, making you feel disgusted at actually agreeing with him for once.

"Then why the constant arguing?" your boss asks.

"Like I said sir, he's been tormenting me-"

"She clearly has something against me sir, and I don't know what I could do to change tha-"

"You don't know what you could do?? Maybe stop being so mean to me!" you cry out again.

"Y/n, keep your voice down, this is my last warning," your boss cuts in, his face stern. "You know I see you as almost a daughter to me, you started working here when you were what, 17? And now you've finished your degree, made so many strides in the last few years. I'm proud of you and everything you've accomplished, but I'm struggling to feel proud right now, with how you've been acting recently in the office. It isn't like you. I know Yunho is at fault for this too, and I want you to know I've already talked to him about his comments made during our admin meetings. What he said a few weeks ago, insinuating that you didn't understand the "actual point" of your role in this company because you have less experience than him, was uncalled for. So was his comment earlier. But I see too that you are quick to jump on everything he says, to assume that everything he does has ill intent towards you, and I don't think that that's fair either. I know you're more mature than this," he finishes, his eyes soft as he looks at you.

"I don't think I am, sir," you squeak out, your voice breaking as more tears well in your eyes.

"Y/n, I won't have this. I need you to approach this like you've approached everything else in your life, with the goal of actually understanding it. Don't give up on this now," he says, his voice stern but encouraging in that special way only he can be.

"Sir, how am I supposed to feel watching you accept her hysterics?" Yunho asks, his face tense with annoyance.

"God, you're cruel," you whisper, curling into a ball on your chair, not caring that you're wearing a short skirt and you probably shouldn't be holding your legs this way.

"Yunho, you're getting on my last fucking nerve today," your boss snaps, and both of you have wide eyes of shock, Mr. Kangsoo not one to curse in the office, either. "This entire conversation went worse than I expected, and your uncalled for comments show me that maybe you're not as mature as I originally thought you were. You came in with great references, son, and you clearly are very smart, but you must realize you're up against someone who's been working for me for six years, and who has proven time and time again to be basically the perfect employee. This conflict is a blip on the radar for her, but for you it's been happening almost the entire time I've known you. I want to believe the best in you, but you must understand how this looks from my perspective."

You both just sit frozen, like two kids in time-out, your faces different versions of disappointment. Your eyes are slightly red from crying, and your knees are still pulled up to your chin, your arms squeezing so tightly around them that it hurts.

"I've had it with this conversation, I don't think this is going to work. Which I should have known, it's clear that conversation between the two of you always leads to conflict," your boss continues. "I'm sending you both home, right now, and I'm demanding that you figure out this thing between you, or I'm firing you both. You have a week. Do not return to this office until the two of you have sorted out your issues, and can promise me you will not fight ever again going forward," he states, his arms crossed over his chest.

You both gawk at him, your faces looking almost identical, as you try to take in what he's just told you.

"Sir, I-" Yunho starts, but even he's stumbling over his words with just how shocked he is. "I don't think this is fair, sir. You should- you can't force us to make up, that isn't going to happen. This- we- we'll both be fired by next week," he stumbles out, his collected demeanor finally shattering.

"With all due respect, son, this is my company. I can do what I want. And this is what I feel is best. So both of you go, now, I won't hear another word. Out," he demands, standing and nodding towards his door.

You rise without a word, your body shaking dramatically from the heaps of adrenaline still coursing through you. Silently you grab your coat and scarf, packing up your bag and slinging it over your shoulder, walking to the kitchen to grab your lunch out of the fridge. You make your way towards the front door, stopping briefly at reception to look at Tally, her curly hair hanging down as she furiously types away at a document. Finally she looks up and sees your face, her own twisting into concern and confusion.

"What happened?" she whispers.

"I- I don't know," you respond, shaking your head. "Ask boss about it, I'm sure he'll tell you," you sigh, wiping another tear from your eyes. "I can't stay, I have to go," you squeak, giving her a quick hug, before turning and walking towards the front door again, nearly bumping into Yunho. You don't give him the courtesy of an apology, instead storming past him, walking angrily towards the elevator.

And of course you take the elevator down together, the silence awkward and tense and indescribable. You know he'll probably be walking down to the subway station with you, and it doesn't even surprise you when he gets on the same line as you, heading the same direction. But when he gets off at the same exact stop and you feel him walking up the stairs behind you, you can't just accept it any longer.

"Are you fucking following me?" you spit over your shoulder, your eyes dark with anger.

"No, y/n, I live up this way," he retorts, pointing ahead of you two in the exact direction of your neighborhood.

"God, don't tell me we're neighbors," you groan, trudging down the street, the remnants of last week's snow still stuck in the gutters.

"You live in Arbol Village?" he asks, almost sounding impressed.

"On Maple street," you sigh, with a nod.

"Me too," he chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief.

"This isn't funny, you fucking psychopath," you retort, angry that he's still here in your proximity, and angrier that there's only one path up into your neighborhood from this side, and the hill that leads up is making you out of breath in a way that's nothing but embarrassing.

"And you say I'm the mean one," he responds, smiling as he shakes his head.

"I really don't get how you can be so blasé about this," you huff out, your footsteps heavy as you nearly crest the hill and enter your neighborhood.

"Workplaces are shit, this is how it goes. If I have to find another job, I will. But don't think I won't go down without a fight. Mr. Kangsoo is by far the best boss I've ever worked for, so I'm going to do whatever I can to keep my position," he says, his breathing annoyingly stable even after walking the entirety of the hill. Slowly you two start into the neighborhood, but suddenly he's turning down a path towards the second house on Maple Street, the large dark one with an almost Victorian structure. 

"Of course the fancy one is your house," you sigh, seeing the ornate curtains covering only part of the front window.

"Come in, we need to talk more," Yunho says, beckoning you with his hands, but you can't be bothered. 

"Fuck no, are you crazy?" you respond, already stomping down the sidewalk past his house, not bothering to look back. The last thing you could bear is his presence right now, and for some reason you feel like you're not totally in control of yourself anyway, your legs moving so firmly they'd probably still be going even if you protested. Yunho just sighs, himself drained from the meeting you'd just left, and not having the energy to fight more. Later today, or tomorrow morning, he promised himself, he'd call you and start sorting this out for good. But for now he just watched you grow smaller and smaller, your hair blowing gently behind you in the winter breeze, your legs looking weak.

Once you were home, two and a half blocks from your asshole of a coworker, you collapsed on your bed, passing out in moments. In the late afternoon you woke to the sound of the front door slamming shut, your roommate, Yunji, calling, "shit, sorry! The wind is crazy out there!"

"You're good!" you called back, but your voice made it apparent to her that it was one of those days where you needed to be left alone, so she didn't come into your room. You picked yourself up and stripped off your work clothes, finally freeing your thighs of the tight elastics that held up your socks, two red rings now visible on your skin. Automatically you brushed your teeth, grabbing your comfiest hoodie and sweatpants, and passed out in your bed again, not even eating dinner, not checking your phone. The sun had already begun to set, the sky outside rearing for another stormy night, and your body was lulled to sleep within minutes, your head buried deep into your pillows as you pulled your comforter over your head.

You woke in what felt like minutes, your room eerily quiet. The light looked bright outside, very bright; it was disorienting, both the quiet and the light, and you lifted yourself up, squinting around in search of your phone. You'd forgotten to plug it in last night, so it surely would be almost dead. You found it still in your work bag, hanging on for dear life with the battery at five percent. The time astonished you, 9am, and you gawked at yourself. No wonder you felt so disoriented; you'd been sleeping for nearly sixteen hours.

And as you finally sorted through your notifications, your shock over the time left your brain entirely. Because the shock of having a missed call from Yunho, having two missed calls from him, floored you, literally. You sank down to the ground, furiously clicking to see the times. One was last night, at about 7pm, and the other was this morning about an hour ago. This morning he'd left a voicemail too, presumably right after you hadn't answered. With shaky hands you clicked on it, holding the phone tight to your ear so you wouldn't miss a word.

"Y/n, I know you don't like talking to me, but we really should try to sort this out earlier rather than later. Please call me back as soon as you get this."

Well, fuck.

He sounded disappointed, and frustrated, and perturbed to even be leaving the message. But god was that voice convincing, even to you, the way he worded things so eloquently and politely, like he's genuinely a good and thoughtful person. It hit you hard while listening that maybe your anger wasn't justified, maybe you'd been unfair to him like your boss had said. The sneaking feeling had graced you many times over your months of conflict, but now it felt too strong to ignore. Did he really want to sort this out? It sounded like it. Why, why, why was this so damn confusing for you?

Your mind raced as your stomach growled, as you tried to get ahold of yourself. Still sprawled out on your carpet you felt exhausted, your body somehow still feeling pulled towards sleep despite the hoards of it you'd just been allotted. You peeled yourself up, standing carefully, moving towards your window to get a view of the backyard. Looking at the garden always calmed you, even in the winter when most of the flowers were gone. And as you opened your blinds you realized why things seemed so bright this morning, and why you were barely hearing a sound.

A thick blanket of snow covered everything, flakes still falling gently from the sky which was dotted with clouds. The sun shone through a gap in them, reflected bright off the entirely white ground. You breathed out a sigh of relief, knowing that everyone had been forced to stay home today, so your missing work wasn't really a disruption to the office. Whoever was miffed about having to take your early shift wouldn't have to, after all. It was like the world was granting you a favor, as you often felt that she did, and you were so thankful. Because this, too, was a great excuse to avoid Yunho longer. There was no way you could leave the house with so much snow outside; it wasn't safe. You breathed in a sigh of relief, shaking it out as you finally connected your phone to charge, slipping on some thick socks and gliding your way out to the kitchen.

After breakfast you popped back into your room, shooting off a quick text.

Y/n: I just saw the snow, I don't think I can come over. Let's see tomorrow.

Almost immediately a call comes through from him, but you let it ring out. There was no way you were going to waste this beautiful snow day talking to him, and you had a whole week to resolve this anyway. It gnawed at you, in the back of your mind somewhere, but presently you just couldn't find it in yourself to voluntarily speak to him.

Yunho: We can still talk on the phone. And we really should. Y/n: We should take a break from talking and cool off. For today.

That was how you were justifying it to yourself. You needed a break, deserved a break from him. You wouldn't be able to really resolve anything if you were still pissed, and with the shock of the morning's weather and your body's obvious need for even more rest, you just couldn't take it today. Plus, everyone else was getting a day off, why couldn't you?

Yunho: I disagree

You flip your phone over, setting it on your bedside table, and you walk away. You'd had it with him arguing with you over text too, and the idea of curling up on the couch with Yunji, sipping hot cocoa and watching your favorite movies, sounded too enticing. You were not going to think about him anymore today. It was decided.

And surprisingly you were mostly able to keep your promise to yourself, the day passing in all its wintery glory, your favorite tradition with your roommate leaving you just as content as it always did. With a gentle sigh you both finally stood up, moving to the kitchen to wash the dishes you'd made all day, finally putting away the snacks you'd covered the coffee table with. As you both walked past the window in the hall you stopped short, eyes fixed on the scene unfolding before you.

"Holy shit," Yunji said, grabbing onto your arm. You both were used to the snow here, having grown up in the next town over. But this snow, that now seemed to be three feet deep, was something you hadn't seen since the one glorious winter more than a decade ago. You were eight that year, and the day after Christmas it snowed furiously, continuing all the way until New Year's Day when the ground was so covered that everywhere you looked outside all you saw was white.

You hadn't realized it was snowing all day, that the sky had turned dark in the early afternoon with all of the cloud cover. You were both too engrossed in your fun to notice.

"Well, I guess we're not going back to work for another few days," she laughed, sighing at how lovely it looked.

"Thank god," you replied, sighing in relief.

"Has Yunho been giving you trouble again?" she asked, and you turned to her with a downturned smile.

"When is he not," you sighed, laughing.

"Hey, how did your meeting go, yesterday?" she asked.

"Fucking terrible," you reply, a frustrated hand running through your hair.

"What happened?"

"Boss said that if the two of us can't resolve our differences, he's letting us both go," you answer, sighing harshly.

"Oh my god, that's crazy! How could he do that to you??" she replied, eyes wide.

"Girl, I know. I don't even know how it got to this point."

She moved to hug you, knowing just how much this situation had weighed on you, and just how much your job meant. She'd seen it in your eyes, even if you hadn't always told her exactly what was going on. She knew how sensitive you were, and she couldn't believe your boss would say such a thing. Especially given the years of dedication you'd given to that office, that you so genuinely cared about.

"What are you gonna do?" she asks, pulling back. 

"Well I guess, try to resolve it. I don't know how, though, every time we talk he just pisses me off and we fight. He's not reasonable about anything. He's always joking, nothing is ever totally serious. I saw him stutter for the first time yesterday, when Mr. Kangsoo gave us that ultimatum, but earlier in the meeting he was way too casual about everything. He was calling me hysterical and unstable, and, just, how the fuck does my boss think I'm going to solve this? That man is fucking impossible," you say, shaking your head.

"He sounds like a sociopath," she replies. "If I ever see him I will wring his neck, I swear to god."

"Well, you might. He lives in this neighborhood." Yunji's eyes go wide at your comment, her mouth hanging open. "Yeah, I know. He lives on our street, too, you know the fancy looking house that's second in from the road? Like if you're walking from the station this direction, the second house on the right? Yeah, that's his. I found out yesterday when I was walking home."

"How the fuck does a single guy in his twenties afford that?" she asks, baffled.

"He clearly has family money, he must. I'm sure he's made decent money for the past few years, but not enough to afford that. And all of his stuff, his suits and his briefcase and everything, looks expensive. And it's not like, shit that just looks expensive or name brand stuff. It's subtler than that, it just seems like everything he owns is so high quality."

"Fucking rich boys. I guess it isn't surprising, given how he's behaved. Like he's always gotten his way and never been told no."

"It really seems like it. Everyone always loves him, it's so annoying," you roll your eyes, thinking of every other staff member's reaction to meeting their shiny new coworker, and his easy demeanor, always saying what people want to hear. Except to you, it seemed.

"Well you can't really meet up and talk right now," Yunji says.

"No, but he said we should talk on the phone. I missed two calls from him, and he left me a message. But I can't bear to speak with him on the phone. I don't ever talk to my coworkers outside of work, no matter how close we are," you reply, shaking your head. "It just feels weird. I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I'm ignoring him for the rest of today."

"Understandable," she responds, squeezing your arm for a moment. "I should try to get some work done on my thesis, I guess, but you rest this evening. You deserve it."

As you both retire to your rooms, you sigh into your pillow. Despite the lazy day, despite the sixteen hours of sleep last night, you still feel tired. It must be mental, it's the only explanation at this point. And you know that means you should probably avoid your phone. But you reflexively check it; the anticipation brewing in your head isn't letting up.

You find two more missed calls from Yunho, and another text.

Yunho: How are we going to solve this if you keep ignoring me?

You suppose it makes you feel a little bad, a little guilty. Still, you can't be bothered to respond. You don't know why; you can't explain it. That feeling like you're not totally in control of your actions, like someone else is calling the shots, is back, and it really doesn't feel like something you can fight, or should fight. There's an eeriness about it, but it's so far in the back of your mind that you don't give it a second thought. After turning over your phone you climb into your covers, the light barely there outside as the evening approaches, the sky still covered in dark clouds and the snow still falling.

And just like that, two days pass. The snow has stayed heavy, making it unsafe to leave, the whole city quiet as few feel brave enough to venture outside. A desperate run to the grocery store calls a few, but thankfully you and Yunji have plenty of food in the pantry to last you a few days. She's taken the opportunity to really focus on her work, and you thought maybe you should, too. You never worked on grants at home, but you could bet Yunho was also taking advantage of the quiet time. You didn't really have anything better to do, yet you couldn't bring yourself to work at all, not when your head and gut were rolling with anxiety and fear and a crushing hatred of yourself. That first day avoiding Yunho had felt, well, not good, but justified. But the past two days, more missed calls and texts unanswered, you felt straight up guilty, and stupid. Not really for ignoring Yunho, as much as letting down your boss, which you knew you would. This couldn't be resolved; no matter what the two of you did you'd never get along, and it was clear that there was something in Yunho that made him unable to leave you alone. You hadn't particularly liked the last guy in his position, either, but the two of you had basically ignored each other, easily. But since his entrance to your office, Yunho seemed unable to not bother you, not leave notes, not piss you off every chance he got. And now you couldn't help but ignore him, even though you knew that doing so was fucking you both over, making it certain that you'd never return to that beloved office and your dream job.

You felt stuck. The literal fact of not being able to leave your apartment was eating you alive, making you feel scared and paranoid and vulnerable in ways you knew were illogical. Every little sound started to make you jump; you were losing it, slowly but surely coming apart at the seams. You swore you started hearing your mom's cat meowing for you, and once in the kitchen it sounded so real you spent minutes furiously searching the hall and your bedroom for her. You collapsed on the floor, waves of anxiety rolling over you as you held yourself in the fetal position, not even crying, just hyperventilating.

Yunho: You're being really immature and unfair by not responding to me. Not even giving this a chance of maybe working itself out

You hadn't responded to him in days, but something in you finally broke. It was in the way his words reflected how you felt about yourself, and the severe guilt that it brought you alighted in flames and suddenly felt like nothing but red, hot anger.

Y/n: Fuck you Yunho: Oh, so you are alive

Breathing heavy you stared at the screen, a sudden realization washed over you. You knew it was over; you'd maintained at least some level of professionalism up to this point, albeit not much, with him. Even when you fought in the office you didn't say anything personal or unnecessarily nasty. You only cursed at him under your breath, never loud enough that anyone could hear. But now you had said something nasty, in writing no less. Even if you both somehow made it back to work on Monday, he'd no doubt show your boss what you had said. And even with your long standing relationship with Mr. Kangsoo, you doubted he'd be willing to keep you on after seeing that.

So that was it. It was over. Logically you knew that you could find a new job, that this wasn't the end of your life. The new year was right around the corner, which was always a good time to find new placements. But you had studied communications and psychology specifically for this job, had dedicated years to learning everything you could about funding and mental health care and the ways your boss ran the office. Though it'd never been said directly, you had a feeling that one day you'd become his second-in-command, and maybe even take over running the place once he was ready to take a step back and retire. You loved this part of the city, loved living with your best friend here, and the commute was easy. You'd planned everything so well, yet it still was about to crumble in your hands. And with every passing minute, it felt like you were waiting for your life to implode, which made not being able to leave all the worse.

The next morning you woke to a call from your mom.

"Good morning," she answered, after your muffled and confused, hello? "Happy New Year sweetie."

"Hi mom, Happy New Year," you responded, rolling over to tuck yourself into the covers again. It had gotten bone-chillingly cold with the perpetual precipitation, and pulling the covers off in the morning felt torturous.

"Since you can't come down to see me today I thought I'd call. Are you two doing okay? Do you have enough food?"

"Yeah, we're doing fine," you say through a yawn. "We've got plenty of food, as long as this lets up in a few days."

"God, it better. I'm glad I got to see you on Christmas Eve."

"Me too."

"Are you doing okay? You sound off," she asks you, making your heart sink. She has no idea what's been going on; you've done an expert job of keeping it a secret from her, as you often do with your struggles, because you know she can't really handle it. You know she has too much to deal with on her own, and you never really feel like she gives you good advice, anyway. But with how you've been feeling mentally, hearing someone ask that has you panicking internally.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine, I just woke up is all," you lie, yawning again to punctuate your point. "I'm not really enjoying being stuck inside, I guess."

"That's not like you," your mom laughs, and you know she's shaking her head side to side the way she always does. "You used to always love when you were stuck inside, or stranded somewhere. Do you remember when you got lost at that theme park in Ocean City? When we found you at the ticket booth you were happy as can be. We thought we'd find you crying. The teenage boy who was watching you said you were quiet as can be, just sat in that little nook in total silence. You were such a funny kid." There's a mystical air to her tone telling the story, because she loves to reminisce in that way, and unfortunately you really, really don't. Because that was the time of your life when your dad was still around, and despite the years of therapy you still can't move past it all. 

"Yeah, I remember," you placate her, sighing. You wish you could travel to see her today, just to calm her nerves and make her not worry, because her worrying is the absolute last thing you want. As you stare out the window you see the sky is a bit clearer, and there don't appear to be many flakes still falling. But the snow is still thick and there's surely ice everywhere. You're not even sure if the three separate subway lines you have to take to reach her house are still running.

"Well, sweetie, the weather report said the snow's finally supposed to let up today, so maybe you can get some fresh air soon."

"That sounds good," you mutter, rolling over in bed. "I should go make some breakfast, I'm feeling really hungry. Thanks for calling, love you," you finish the call.

"Okay, love you too sweetie. Talk to you soon," she replies, before you hang up the call.

New Year's Day. You'd forgotten yesterday what day it was, and had been sort of avoiding your phone because of Yunho's texts and calls. You hadn't stayed up till midnight, hadn't welcomed the New Year in any way. You were surprised Yunji hadn't said anything, but then again neither of you really were the types to party or celebrate holidays much. You both had bad memories of them from growing up, or good memories that had turned bad once you'd matured and looked back without your naiveté. And your face and posture were probably screaming 'leave me alone,' Yunji always able to tell if you were upset. You were thankful for that, thankful that she knew how to leave you alone when you needed the space. Really, what did it matter what day it was? New Year's was like any other day of the year, it just had the honor of being first in the lineup. So why was your head spinning so much? Why couldn't you stop thinking about what your resolutions should be?

The morning was strange, even with a delicious bagel and a warm cup of Jasmine tea. It felt strange seeing the sky after it had been covered for days; it even felt strange looking out your living room window to the front yard, the snow on the street gray and muddy and pounded down by the tracks of the few brave souls who'd trekked out or driven in this weather. You saw one neighbor diligently shoveling snow off her driveway, bundled up head to toe in a giant puffy jacket and boots that looked too big for her. Her head snaps up, and you walk towards the window to see what she's seeing; a snow plow was making its way down your street, the drivers finally able to start their work today now that the worst of the storm was behind you. Even the sidewalks looked not so bad, as the clear day had allowed the sun to begin melting the thick snow, the air hot enough that it might not be too icy out there. Something in you called at you to go outside, but the second you thought about it a wave of dread hit you, and you knew you'd be too scared. It would be another day stuck in here, another day avoiding Yunho's texts and feeling so guilty, and you weren't sure if you could take it.

It had gotten to that point now. It had been so long since you felt like this, like you'd rather die than live another moment. Now, just like the first time, you felt so ridiculous and shameful for feeling that way, looking around to see the physical evidence of your privileged life. Your safe and cozy apartment, the food filling the fridge, the brand new washing machine you'd both bought yourselves as a Christmas gift. How could this be so awful? You had all sorts of entertainment, anything you could need to keep you busy while you waited for these snow days to end. You could be updating your resume, starting the search for a new job. You could be calling Yunho back, and trying to find a way through your conflict. You could be doing yoga, meditating, making soup from scratch, reading, writing, learning a new language...

It all sounded horrible. Your mind was collapsing on you, but this time you're not a kid, this time you don't have a great excuse. You'd let some petty drama taint your every waking moment, and you didn't have anyone to blame but yourself. You were too scared to do the right thing, you could see that now, that back when this conflict had started you'd assumed your boss and everyone else would side with you, just because they already knew you. You'd let Yunho get under your skin, to the point that every word he uttered made you angry, letting him in so deep that there was no way out. Not now. You knew this wouldn't be resolved, because you couldn't do it; you could never admit these things to him that you'd just admitted to yourself. You could never apologize, never acknowledge that you played a part. You'd sat yourself staunchly in a position, the innocent one who'd been wronged time and time again by the aggressor, and stepping down from that pedestal would hurt you more than you thought you could bear.

It was the shame of fucking up. Of not being perfect. A conversation from therapy, from almost ten years ago, ricocheted to the front of your mind. 'You're quite a perfectionist, y/n. Do you realize that? It makes you avoid doing certain things, even if you know they're the right thing to do.' You can still see your old therapist's face, her glasses near the tip of her nose as she eyed you. How could you still be right where your fourteen year old self was? You looked like her too, your skin burning with embarrassment at how you hadn't realized that yourself. It felt humiliating to have to be told, because that in and of itself proved you were imperfect. That you weren't totally and completely self aware. The biggest shame you carried was knowing that despite how hard you tried, you never were very good at knowing yourself. 

You laid face down on your bedroom floor. You didn't have the energy or motivation for anything else. You knew clinically speaking, this looked like the start of a depressive episode. But you hadn't had one in years now and were out of practice. What were you supposed to do now? All that felt okay was sinking more into your head, letting the darkness envelop your mind and take you on a ride through your worst memories, your heart racing despite your complete lack of physical exertion.

By early afternoon you'd had enough of that horrifying roller coaster. When you sat up your neck ached, your body screaming at you to never collapse in that position again. You felt jittery, restless, but nothing at home sounded appealing still, not in the slightest. Your eyes catch on your winter boots in the corner of your room, too big to fit on the shoe rack by the front door. And suddenly your mind is made up in less than a second. It was time to go for a walk, to get out of the house. Maybe the cold air would clear your mind.

"Hey, I'm gonna go grab some snacks at Smith's, do you need anything?" you call through Yunji's bedroom door.

"You're going out in this weather?" she asks, opening it.

"The snow let up a lot today, and I'm running low. And I'm feeling too cooped up. It's only five blocks, I'm sure I'll be fine."

"Ok, well, I don't think I need anything. I stocked up on Pocky last time we were there. Are we almost out of toilet paper or paper towels?" she asks.

"No, I just checked," you respond.

"Okay. Be careful," she says, smiling.

"I will, I promise," you say before walking toward the front closet, grabbing your big winter coat and zipping it up.

The outside air is a shock as it greets your face, making your cheeks turn pink almost instantly. The world is still bright, the sun shining the warmest it will all day, but you can see darker clouds off in the distance. You hope they aren't moving too fast; there is only a slight breeze in the air, and mostly it's just so quiet, even with a second snow plow heading down your street. It does feel relieving, a least a little, to finally be outside, and a part of you feels proud for actually going out, given how scared you were this morning. You feel like you're maybe proving to yourself that you aren't such a wuss, that you aren't so prone to avoiding things that one day it'll ruin your life. You walk briskly, your nerves buzzing as your heart rate rises to keep you warm.

It feels nice to be buying your favorite snacks, and you're able to get lost in the normalcy of it for a few minutes. The store is almost empty, so you try making light conversation with the one cashier working, his long hair covered in a beanie. Strolling back outside you're met with the chilly air again, a gust of wind nearly knocking you off your feet as you make your way through the small, empty parking lot. You could have sworn you were only in there for maybe ten or fifteen minutes, but the sky looks almost completely different now, those dark clouds having descended on your area. You start your way back up the hill, bracing yourself against the growing winds, when the sky lets out a low rumble that shakes you to your bones. Suddenly it's raining, the air warm enough to turn the snow into sleet, and it's soaking your face and your hat and your gloves faster than you can believe. The paper bag holding your snacks is disintegrating in your hand, and you shove it under your coat to try to protect it, the cold bag on your stomach making you shiver.

"Fuck, this was a bad idea," you mutter to yourself, shakily making your way finally into your neighborhood, crossing the street that separates the houses from the row of commercial buildings. Your whole body is shaking, your head turned to the ground as you try to avoid getting sleet in your eyes and try to avoid falling. You're moving much slower than you were on your way to the store, carefully planting your feet one in front of the other as you hold your snacks against your stomach. Your brain feels fuzzy, the wind whipping past your ears, and all you can manage to think is, 'just make it home, just make it home.' It's only about three more blocks, you should be able to make it just fine, if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, if you just keep going, keep goin-

Suddenly someone has grabbed you, your body thrown up like a rag doll, your upper half thrown over their shoulder. You let out a guttural scream, the sound hoarse and weak and getting lost in the storm. You're furiously flailing your legs, wiping the water from your eyes to try to get a look at anything, your lungs heaving as you scream again, this time, "Let me go!!"

The grip on your legs only tightens after your outburst, and then you're hearing a door whooshing open, warmer air greeting you as you enter some house, your eyes able to make out hardwood floors and the large boots of whoever's holding you hostage. You're breathing ragged, trying to get ahold of yourself and figure out where the hell you are, and when you catch a glimpse into the front closet of this house you see those navy blue shoes, with that very unique toe box...

[caplanbuckybarnes]

Tension Logs (Steve Rogers, Tony Stark)

gif sen to me by @krirebr back in october, just now going through my inbox full of gifs, sorry my love <3

Summary: overhearing an argument from Steve & Tony, you grow worried and with awe at the pure strength Steve possesses.

Warnings: none?

WC: 1K

A/N: there's no pairing in this and i honestly debated on posting this as is, or rewrite it a million more times lol.

Read On Ao3!

--

The farm was a welcome sight after everything that had happened. After the chaos, the battles, and the tension of saving the world yet again, Clint Barton’s peaceful farmhouse felt like a sanctuary—a place to breathe and maybe, for once, pretend things were normal.

You sat on the porch, your legs curled beneath you, watching the others as they scattered around the property. Natasha was keeping an eye on the kids while Clint and Thor discussed something about farming techniques—likely for a laugh, given Thor's complete lack of experience with Earth crops. Bruce was in the barn, tinkering with gadgets, and Vision was seated nearby, reading.

But your attention was drawn to the tension rising between two men who seemed to clash constantly: Steve Rogers and Tony Stark.

You could hear them before you saw them—loud, angry voices. Steve, usually so calm, was pacing, hands running through his short blonde hair in frustration. Tony was standing a few feet away, arms crossed, his expression tight with annoyance. The words were muffled from the porch, but the intensity between them was unmistakable.

"He's just not listening," Tony grumbled, rubbing his temple. “I’m trying to save everyone, Steve! But you keep acting like I’m the enemy here.”

Steve’s jaw was tight as he shook his head. “You think I don’t want to protect people? You’re not seeing the bigger picture here, Tony. If we keep going down this road, we’ll have no choice but to fight against ourselves.”

“Yeah, and how long until we’re fighting for our lives, huh?” Tony shot back, clearly exasperated. "You’re just blind to the fact that the rest of the world isn’t always going to play nice.”

You could feel the tension rising from where you sat. The last few days had been a whirlwind of emotions, battles with no real winners, and personal grievances that were still being worked out. But watching Tony and Steve argue like this... it was different. The anger was raw, not just from the situation, but from something deeper, something that neither of them was willing to admit.

You sighed, turning your gaze back to them, uncertain whether you should intervene. But before you could make a move, something unexpected happened.

Steve had stopped pacing, his face flushed with frustration, and Tony was busy running his hands through his hair, his back turned. That’s when Steve walked over to a large, thick log lying near the edge of the property, one that looked almost too heavy to move. Without saying a word, Steve dropped to one knee, grabbed hold of the log, and—without any visible hesitation—ripped it in half with his bare hands.

You blinked, certain you had imagined it, but when you saw Steve’s arms straining, his muscles tensing with the force of the action, you realized it was real. He wasn’t using any tools or anything to help him. No tech. No super-soldier serum enhancement. Just pure, raw strength. The snap of the log cracking in half was deafening in the stillness of the farm, and for a moment, you were sure even Tony had frozen in place.

For a long second, there was only the sound of Steve breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling as he stood over the splintered wood, his eyes unwavering. His gaze locked with Tony’s, and the tension between them suddenly felt different—more grounded, more purposeful.

Tony’s jaw dropped, his usual sarcastic wit faltering for a moment. “Jesus, Cap. You trying to kill me or just make me feel inadequate?”

Steve didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he straightened up, wiping his hands on his pants as though the task had been as simple as pulling a thread from his sleeve. His face was set, but there was a softness behind his eyes, something you recognized as tiredness—not from age, but from the weight of the responsibility that he carried.

“You can’t fix everything, Tony,” Steve said, his voice quieter now, though it still held that unshakeable determination. “But you can try to do the right thing. I need you to understand that.”

Tony didn’t say anything at first, still staring at the broken log, clearly in shock at what he had just witnessed. Slowly, his expression softened, and he nodded, though you could see the struggle in his eyes.

“I know,” Tony replied after a moment, his voice rough. “I just… I don’t know how to stop screwing up.”

The vulnerability in his voice was something you rarely heard from Tony Stark, and it made your heart ache for him. But then, to your surprise, Steve stepped closer, clapping Tony lightly on the shoulder.

“You don’t have to be perfect, Tony,” Steve said, the warmth in his voice unmistakable now. “None of us do. Just don’t give up on trying.”

You couldn’t help but smile softly, watching the interaction unfold. In that moment, you realized just how strong Steve Rogers truly was—not just in his physical strength, but in his unwavering belief in people, in their ability to change, to do better.

You knew that strength now extended beyond just his shield. It was in his words, in the way he carried the weight of responsibility on his shoulders, and in how, no matter how many times Tony fell short of his own expectations, Steve would always be there to pull him up again.

You stood up quietly, unsure if they even realized you were there. The argument had defused, and now, Tony and Steve were standing side by side, silently processing everything that had just happened. The tension between them was still there, but you could see the cracks beginning to heal, just a little.

With a quiet breath, you stepped back inside the house, letting the door swing closed behind you. There was still a lot of work to be done before the world would feel right again, but for now, you felt a flicker of hope. Steve Rogers, in all his strength, had proven once again that the world wasn’t just saved by punches or tech. It was saved by the quiet power of believing in each other.

And maybe, just maybe, that was the kind of strength that would carry them all through the rest of the storm.

[fandoms-in-law]

A Demon's Safehouse

Summary: Steve isn't 'neglected' or 'abandoned', He's a child who got sold to a demon before ever being born. He knows why the demon isn't around just like he knows xir roar as he fights demobats off after being yanked into the upside down.

Everyone else involved in his life and the Upside Down do not know who/what this is or why they're getting deposited in a safehouse all together.

Author's note: If you want to read this in separate chapters, it's done like that on AO3, but honestly, I'm not making 11 posts and messing about linking them all today, so tumblr can have it all in one post. This is based on/ an expansion of an idea I shared august 2023 but as that scene is included in the fic, I don't think it needs linking either. Please enjoy.

/\/\

It wasn’t something Steve spoke about, finding it too complicated to explain for nobody to believe him. Then it felt too personal, or too much like Nancy’s gun would be trained back on him never moving, to share at all.

Then again, his friends finding out like this wasn’t much more preferable either.

Perhaps the Upside Down actually was connected to Hell for his owner’s roar to be echoing through the trees. Perhaps he wasn’t about to die at the hands of these bat-like creatures.

Steve had been trying to fight, had managed to get the bat choking him off once Nancy, Robin and Eddie appeared to help fight with him, but now he dropped, the roar ringing through him as he realised he demonic owner was aware he’d been, was being, attacked. The command to stay out of it didn’t need stating beyond that noise.

“Steve, get the fuck back up! Nancy demanded in a scream. “We have to keep-” Her words cut off as his owner threw her and Robin to the ground beside him, and Steve could see Eddie dropping similarly to how he had at the sight.

“Xe enforces orders if they aren’t immediately followed.” He explained, fairly sure that only gave his ex more questions.

“Xe?” Robin asks, wriggling to grab his hand. “Xe is a name for the thing eviscerating the bats? Xe gave no orders?”

Steve laughs, “Xir pronoun. You’ll get used to it and you wouldn’t have understood it.”

A low snarl had him laughing more as he sat up, “This is what sends you on the rampage? A few bat creatures? Forget Jonathan, the demogorgan, demodogs, mindflayer, Hargrove or the Russians, this is what makes you all possessive?”

“Are you making a joke? Why are two of those beginning demon?” There’s venom in xir voice and Steve huffs, dialling back his amusement before he got in trouble. It might not have happened before but if being made to follow orders was unpleasant he didn’t want to know what a punishment would mean.

“Nancy’s brother and his friends used their game to name things. Dorks and dragons.” He explained. “And should I mention thinking this place is a hive mind? Everything but us possibly connected and wanting us dead?”

Xe growled again, but snapped xir claw moving all of them out of the Upside Down, Steve hoped.

/\/\

Steve and the demon were the only ones to remain standing when they appeared in the safehouse and he looked around half curiously. He’d only been a few times in his life and knew the rooms changed by themselves so wanted to figure out if he’d been in their current room before.

“Stay here. I’ll get the rest then sort out whatever went on there.” Xe ordered, already turning to leave.

Steve chuckled, calling back “How would you expect us to leave?”

“How did you get there!” The exasperated call hadn’t finished when xe vanished.

Nancy had stood in the exchange and glared at him. “Who and what was that? Where are we, Steve?” She demanded.

“A safehouse.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, still a bit amused. “That was a demon, specifically xir my owner, something about a deal before I was born.”

“So the Upside Down is hell?” Robin asked, chipper as if that would distract Nancy from her annoyance.

Steve shrugged, “Maybe, don’t know. Wouldn’t have said so if xe hadn’t shown up.” Thinking about it made him snicker at the thought demons had been coming after him for years and xe hadn’t known until now.

Nancy’s eyes glinted as she started to ask something else but broke off at the sound of Erica Sinclair yelling in the next room.

“You don’t abduct kids! Put us back! This is – Steve?” Erica stopped at the sight of them, hurrying over to Steve and Robin to check they were okay.

Steve grinned, waving to Dustin, Lucas and Max too. “Hey, Xe isn’t much for introductions but in better news, I think xir going to sort this mess out for us.” Staying in the safehouse seemed like a lot more fun with his kids and Robin around. Eddie wasn’t a bad addition either and Nancy would have to calm down sooner or later, right?

“You got yanked into the lake and now we’ve been dragged here by god knows what. What’s going on?” Max asked, nearly demanding and looking around in concern but not fear after realising he was mostly relaxed.

“Demon got possessive over Steve.” Robin teased, leaning over his shoulder, “And has put us all in time out because of it.” Having the pressure on his back reminded Steve that he probably did still need some first aid, but he didn’t feel like bringing that to anyone’s attention. If it was anything like his first stay here then he’d soon be healed regardless.

Dustin’s eyes had lit up at the comment, staring at him with as many questions but at least a slightly less demanding expression than Nancy had. “Demons are real? What are they like? Do they really make deals? Why is one involved now? Is Vecna a demon?” He rattled off the questions all at once and Steve laughed.

“Yes, varied, yes, me and probably not. Does this have to be a constant interrogation?” He answered them all in order still laughing.

“Yes. You’ve hid a lot from us we definitely need to know now. Xe’s you’re parent?” Steve was surprised nobody was checking him for concussions simply because he’s laughing more at the repeated question. Nancy kept glaring as she waited for an answer though, and the kids seemed torn between looking around the house they’d all been deposited in and asking more of their own.

“Xir my owner. You know, demon deals, fairytale deals with witches, that kind of thing?” He stated.

Lucas frowned at him for a moment, “Owned like a pet or like a slave?”

“Same difference. I still have little choice over what I-” He broke off as more yelling broke out. He’d assumed only the kids in Hawkins were getting dragged to this safe house but given that was definitely Mike and Jonathan’s voices apparently he was wrong.

Steve led the others through rooms to the new arrivals just in time for Joyce, Murray, some guy yelling in Russian and Hopper? Somehow Hopper was also appearing.

Robin looked over them and back to Steve. “I know you said xe owns you but xir doing the impossible and raising the dead. Joyce, what deal did you make?”

A look of added confusion at the question told Steve enough. “Hey Hopper, by any chance were you captured by the Russians at Starcourt and tortured over the last year?”

“Yes but getting kidnapped while escaping was not my expectation.” Hopper agreed, scowling and looking around. “Especially not since it seems everyone else involved in the Upside Down has been too. What does that thing want from us?”

“Xir property to be safe and looked after. Pretty sure xe isn’t bothered beyond that.” Steve flippantly answered. “Honestly xir going further than I expected, so Jonathan, I’m very sorry for mentioning you when xe first turned up.”

Hopper leant back, glaring at him now, rather than around the room. “We’ve been kidnapped by what? Because of you how?”

“A demon I was sold to before I was born. We haven’t been kidnapped, just stored at a safehouse, I think while xe gets rid of the Upside Down entirely? Attacking a demons property isn’t a good idea if xe finds out.”

“Can I kill the Harrington’s? Is that actually the surname of your parents?” Steve had to laugh at Robin’s words, knowing that everyone’s focus was likely to stay on him for a while.

That was also when he properly registered the group around Mike and Jonathan had someone he didn’t know but also had a girl far quieter than he’d have expected. “El? You’re glaring at the wall, not reuniting with Hopper or anyone. Are you okay?” He asked, stepping over to her.

“No.” The reply was succinct but not helpful, and Hopper was moving towards her just as Steve was. “Your demon only put us all in the safehouse but other people helped me too.”

Steve frowned, “I think xe has only gathered people I view as family or who were with and helping people when xe located you all.”

“I was getting my powers back.” She said bluntly. “I need them.”

“Pretty sure you don’t.” Eddie called, waving with a grin when Hopper frowned over at him. “Guessing you’re the supergirl these guys kept mentioning and after seeing Steve’s demon in action, I don’t think you need to worry about fighting anything Upside Down any more.”

“But Jonathan hurt Steve once. I need to protect him.” El retorted.

Steve huffed a laugh out again. He knew his owner wouldn’t hurt him, or share xir name until xe decided he was old enough, but to most of the group xe was an unknown threat that had them captured before they’d got a chance to fight back. Then here was their group’s superhero being the only one to listen and connect what he’d said together. “You’re right. I can’t guarantee I can calm xim down if xe decides Jonathan needs punishing for a fight we had 3 years ago, but I will try to talk to xim first. I will do what I can to protect him, just as much as you will.” He reassured her, before blinking and glancing over to Eddie. “Also, yes Eddie, this is El or Jane as I think she’s legally called now. El, this is Eddie. He’s the DM of the boys club and witnessed the first death of this go around. We’ve been keeping him hidden as the town’s gone full witch hunt after him.”

“This go around?” Jonathan asked, trepidation breaking into his voice as everyone who hadn’t been in Hawkins froze, turning to whomever they were closest to that had stayed in Hawkins.

Robin snickered now, coming to lean over Steve’s shoulder. “Did you think this boy’s owner kidnapped us all for normal shit? Steve was trying to find out if there was a gate where the kid’s compasses pointed and got dragged through. Me, Wheeler and Munson dived in after just in time for xim to show up.”

/\/\

Steve had to get away from being the centre of attention for a while. He got it. Everyone had apparently been dealing with shit and being put in one place together wasn’t really a solution to any of it, but that didn’t mean he had any answers or knowledge beyond having been brought here once before.

After trying and failing to slip away a few times he just ignored the people calling him back, cutting through doors he remembered thinking were cupboards when he was twelve and trying to explore everywhere. He could only hope they’d believe the same now, or be too uncertain over exploring a demon’s home to try going through them.

“You doing okay?” Robin asked, coming through a different door a few minutes later. From the direction he bet she’d watched him leave and gone in the opposite direction out of the room most of the group was trying to stay gathered in. Xe must like her though, because finding him now meant the house had helped her pick the directions to try and find him in.

“Fine.” He muttered, slouching into the chair between bookshelves.

She didn’t reply, just came over to sit on the armrest, leaning over him.

“Slaves are owned by other humans and aren’t free. Children are effectively owned by their parents or guardians and have a time limit on when they should become free. I am owned by a demon and will never be free even in death. It hangs over me and I don’t know what xe wants, or expects from me other than that I’ll have to give it when asked.” He ranted, tugging at his hair in frustration. “When xe explained how to be popular I thought that was xir orders for me, but xe didn’t care when I stopped. Xe suggested I support myself. It wasn’t an order but I took it as one, and now we’re here?”

Robin’s hand brushed his back comfortingly. “You’re still worried about missing xir orders, aren’t you?”

“That growl was the clearest I’ve had in years. It was simple.” He looked at her, showing his fear and confusion. “I’m not free but xir not – I don’t know if I’m trapped either, beyond everyone temporarily being stuck here.”

“So we’re all expecting you to know what’s going on when you’re probably the most lost out of all of us.”

He sighed heavily. “The kids shouldn’t know what I’m going through. They’ve got good parents.”

Robin nodded, sliding into the chair so they were squished together. “Dustin’s trying to get Lucas and Mike to scheme with him over how to buy you from the demon even without knowing much.” She commented. “Will and Eddie meanwhile dodged out of the conversation claiming that they should try to find you after you left. I think they’re actually trying to figure each other out. Will’s upset with the other boys and on edge with Eddie while Eddie is so interested in Will. Apparently the kids apparently talk him up during Hellfire.”

“Ten bucks says one of the next campaigns covers breaking into a demon house.” Steve snorted. “This place treats people differently based on how much xe likes you.”

/\/\

“That boy cares for you and her and immeasurably for those kids. And you? You’re forever two steps from taking one of his kids away cause you never bothered getting to know him.” Xe was quiet, firm and Jonathan didn’t know what was going on.

The demon had come back to the safehouse, spoken to El, nodded through a door at Robin and tugged him through to a separate room. Xe was undeniably dangerous but the mind reading, if that’s what was happening, had him on edge more than any risk of harm.

Still he disagreed. “I know Harrington well enough.”

“Then tell me when he and Nancy broke up.” Xe stated. Something showed xe were annoyed but controlling xirself carefully and part of Jonathan wished he could identify what.

“Tina’s Halloween party in ‘84.”

“When Wheeler was black out drunk and went to seek him out the next day? Nope, they didn’t.”

“Well then that’s when.” It seemed like the logical assumption, but Jonathan stepped back as he realised he only had assumptions now, that Nancy had never said and he hadn’t thought to ask, even through Murray’s matchmaking conversation and that night.

“Still wrong. They were arguing but not breaking up. My boy got her flowers and was going to try talking it through later.” Xe stated and now what xe was saying grew clearer.

Arguably Jonathan was one of the first people involved with the Upside Down and one of the first to take steps to fight back against it, but in that moment he wondered just how much of the story he’d missed. It definitely showed that some of the interpersonal relationships had gone unnoticed or ignored because they focused on Steve Harrington and he hadn’t cared to know.

“I don’t read minds. I see the past and intentions or desires of people. You know nothing of my human. You are blinded by rumours and assumptions plus a bad day which your actions made worse. Lose them and get to know Steve.” Xe ordered. “Or I will ensure it’s him all the kids go to first for brotherly help and advice.”

With that the demon left and Jonathan froze, wanting to ask who Steve’s kids were despite already knowing. Xe could estrange Will to him if he didn’t listen and that terrified him more than any attack or threat of physical harm could.

/\/\

Nancy had watched the door since the demon took Jonathan through it and was already standing when xe walked straight past her. “Aren’t you going to drag me off too?”

She’d thought over what Steve had said more due to El’s worries and had reasoned xir mentioned protectiveness would mean xe had judgement for her too.

Xe looked at her like she was an irritating bug. “No. You’ve already realised how little you know of Steve and already seen how easily Michael can estrange or replace you. There’s nothing to say that wouldn’t waste breath.”

The dismissal almost hurt more than whatever she’d expected. It only made her feel smaller when xe went to kneel at Erica’s side, “Young Miss, you made a deal with my human we need to discuss.”

/\/\

Erica didn’t fear this demon. Xe might own Steve and use pronouns she’d never heard of but she had xir number: If xe expected them to believe Steve was just xir property xe shouldn’t have gathered everyone for him.

“So are you looking to renegotiate for Steve or tell me to let it go?” She asked, following xim in the direction Will and Eddie had gone exploring in.

Xe looked over xir shoulder at her, amused as xe reached into a cabinet of the kitchen they’d entered, “Neither. I’m giving you your due.”

“A bowl and a spoon?” She eyed the items sceptically. “We have plenty of those at home.”

“But can you state an ice cream flavour and have it appear in those?” There was a challenge in xir eyes that she met easily, deciding what to test the bowl with.

“One scoop lemon dream, 2 scoops chocolate brownie, topped with caramel sauce.” She glanced down after saying to see the ice cream she’d requested there. “This is staying with Steve for now. I don’t need my parents getting suspicious of it, but why?”

Xe watched her, assessing but not judgemental. “Steve misunderstood something I said. This is how I’ll help my boy for now.”

She narrowed her eyes for a moment, tempted to wait it out and try for more information but shrugged it off, realising that she shouldn’t push a demon too much. “Okay then. Are we safe now?”

Xe only said yes before xe was gone back towards the room everyone else was in.

/\/\

While xe had been with Erica, Nancy had vanished from the visitors room. Xe was certain she was trying to find Jonathan, and xe knew that some of the kids had gone into a neighbouring room when xe arrived to discuss freeing xir boy; a sweet sentiment.

The teens and kids remaining looked uncomfortable so xe offered, “If you want to explore, go ahead, kids. Steve will find you when you get lost.” Getting lost was assured for most of them and xe wasn’t going to lie about it.

The powerful girl hesitated, looking from xim to the adults. “He’s learning. Be nice.” She cautioned but corralled the other kids with her, claiming Jonathan would be nearby when the final older teen tried to remain.

“Smart kid, knows which battles to pick and yours is already lost.” Xe commented, turning to the emancipated man who’d jumped up. “Although your latest months have been punishment enough for that.”

“What’s lost?” Hopper demanded, glaring and moving closer. Xe found it daring but stupid, as if simply sending the kids to explore had been a threat xe needed attacking over.

Xe smiled coldly, the temperature of the room matching xir expression. “Any chance you or her can claim to care for my boy.”

“We do!” Joyce protested. “He’s a good-”

“Shield.” Xe interrupted. “That’s what you use him as. A body shield for the kids you leave in danger.”

Both humans bolstered and Hopper snapped, “That is not how we see him. He’s brilliant.”

“It is pretty much how he gets treated.” Murray said nonchalantly, still sitting and looking around at the exits to the room. “I mean, Joyce’s eldest and his girlfriend have already had their talking to, sorry for my part in that, I guess, but we’re the grown ups here. No kid should be left to protect others but that’s exactly what we’ve done twice and unknowingly a third time I’m gathering.”

Xe laughed. “This man, he argued against kids being involved at all the one time he was active in the fighting. Makes him the best parent of the lot of you after my boy. Steve accepts that they’re involved and will not stay out of it through any restriction less air tight than literally spiriting them away to a safe house they can’t leave.”

“My kids are my world.” Joyce protested.

“Who you abandoned with lies instead of an explanation when you decided to try saving him.” Xe countered, gaze darkening. “And who weren’t willing to share the bullying they’ve gone through or the fact one of them was apprehended for an assault before you left that she’s since been arrested for. The entire mess I’ve cleared up is the only reason she’s not in a cell still. Good parents don’t forget to look after their kids because of a ransom note.”

Neither Hopper or Joyce knew how to respond to that and even Murray was shifting uncomfortably

“I am involved and I will do what you failed to do.” Xe stated. “El believes you are learning but you had better learn quickly, because currently I will support my boy adopting any of those kids he thinks needs a safer or better home and support system. He’s proved himself in doing that already. You have not.”

/\/\

The demon was still there. Dustin had checked and kept listening on the conversation through the archway. Xe had been harsh on Hopper and Joyce from the bits he’d been able to make out clearly enough, but hadn’t left.

Actually Hopper and Joyce had been the ones to leave, storming out through the room Dustin had pulled Mike and Lucas through to and further into the house. Given how many people had gone through the 3 doors into these rooms, Dustin was beginning to suspect it shifted around them.

Either way, it gave them the chance to make their case. Murray wouldn’t stop them and whoever the new man was didn’t seem to understand English so couldn’t.

The demon looked amused as he pulled his friends through, leaning back in a chair, showing xir control of the situation better than any executive ever could. “You have a question?” Xe drawled meeting each of their eyes.

“We want Steve.” Dustin began but fell silent at xir dismissive laugh.

Xe waved a hand to one exit of the room, “He’s through there. I’m not keeping him trapped here. Once I know that area is completely gone, you’re all going back to Hawkins, my boy included.”

He stuttered for a moment, but hearing Mike’s argumentative noise tried again, “You can’t own people! We want Steve.”

“And you can?” Xe stood, looming over him for a moment, “That’s what you’re asking for, ownership transfer and frankly humans treat people they claim to own worse than any demon has treated anyone they’ve owned.”

“As if we believe that!” Mike snapped, coming to stand beside Dustin and cutting off any attempt to focus on what they’d give to have Steve. “You’re a demon. You lie.”

The demon scoffed now, gesturing vaguely around the exits to the two rooms, “Look at your girlfriend and best friend. Steve is my boy. That’s not changing.”

Both boys huffed, glancing back to Lucas who remained slightly behind them silently. Dustin only took a moment to think over the demon’s words before arguing, “He shouldn’t be owned by anyone. Let him go.” He was proud for a moment, thinking that changing the phrasing would explain what they wanted better.

“No. He won’t see it as giving him ownership of himself. He’ll see it as ownership transferral and you brats already push his boundaries and take advantage of everything he does for you. I will keep my boy and ensure he knows refusing you is okay, encouraged even when he needs a break.” Xe explained calmly now, but firm.

“We do not-” Mike began to argue.

Xe stepped to lean close to him, “Wheeler, you treat him the worst of your friends. Don’t test a demon of the treatment of their human. It won’t end well for you.” Xe stated quietly, straightening after. “Now, this attempt of yours has been sweet. Go explore now.”

Dustin’s shoulders drooped as he turned to try and plan some more arguments, but Lucas stepped forwards now. “Nobody should be a slave.”

“Entirely agree.” Xe smiled at him, “But is Steve a slave? Would you have thought that before learning of me?”

Lucas shook his head slowly, but still watched xim with narrowed eyes. “No, he seems to think so though.”

Xe was grinning now, turning to sit back down and nodding. “My boy has many thoughts of me and my ownership but they’re complex. Nothing as simple as slavery implies though. Your sister is more astute.”

“I’ll start paying closer attention then.” He confirmed, turning and tugging Mike with them away from the demon.

Dustin just heard a satisfied “Good” as they went to sit back in their plotting room.

/\/\

Steve didn’t know whether to be concerned or amused when he led Robin back to the room they’d been brought to originally only to find everyone except Murray, the Russian and the demon gone. “So we’re not going back to Hawkins soon then?”

“Give it a day or two. Removing offshoots is difficult, even more so with this much mortal influence in the creation of it.” Xe replied, “But I think it’s time you tell me just what those quips when I arrived meant.”

That was an order. It resonated in Steve and he tightened his grip on Robin’s hand at the unfamiliar sensation. “You mean the times I’ve fought over the last four years?”

“Yes.” Xir eyes narrowed, scanning over his form. “As well as why no-one has checked your injuries since I brought you here. That’s only healing because of the safehouse.”

“They had questions and I didn’t feel like combining an interrogation with getting first aid.” He replied, tugging Robin with him to sit down. “Let’s start with the Russians so I can explain why.”

Murray looked over at that, “Starcourt, right? Never got told why the kid could give directions. Can I listen in?”

“Sure.” Agreeing was easy, but even with Robin there beside him Steve didn’t know how to start.

The demon didn’t let him hesitate for long. “Do you have specific names for the people who hurt you in this Starcourt?”

“No, just Russians. If names were said between them it was after I was too concussed to remember them or said in Russian.” He answered, sighing. “I kept their attention, kept yelling before that, wasn’t going to let Robin get hurt if I could do anything to stop it. She might-” He drifted off, meeting Robin’s concerned gaze and knowing she didn’t know any names either.

She let out a small noise, squeezing his hand. “They had a base under the mall, trying to get through to the Upside Down, where you found us,” She paused, gesturing to xim. “Dustin intercepted their radio message so we investigated, managed to get in, even got Erica and Dustin out but we got captured. Steve tortured. I never knew why I wasn’t also. Thought they’d killed him when I was dragged into the same room as him after hours.”

Xe looked between them, reaching over to rest a claw softly on Steve’s knee. “How long did they have you for?”

The pair shared a glance, saying guesses at each other until Murray cleared his throat to get their attention. “Too long and let’s leave it there instead of guessing.”

“That wasn’t all they did.” The words, condemning missing information, made Steve’s shoulders slump in, almost curling protectively into Robin.

“Once we were together they left us alone for a bit, tied back to back. Long enough I woke up and Robin tried planning a beginning of an escape. Then they drugged us and were going to torture us again, removing finger nails or something. Said we were hurt but the doctor would help us when that was starting. Dustin and Erica came back then, used some overpowered taser rod thing to attack the doctor when the others had left. I think it killed him but Dustin can’t know that. He can’t have the trauma of knowing he might’ve killed someone when he was just trying to save me, save Robin.” Steve finished, words growing quieter as he ended that story.

Robin rested her head on top of his, arms coming around him too. “From there it was getting out, hiding in a movie, hiding again when we saw Russian guards checking the people leaving to try and find us, the other kids arriving in time for El to save us from those guards, adults coming in, crashing the car into Billy’s to save the kids, fighting the mindflayer, same old chaos everyone else could tell you about.”

The claw on his knee dug in for a moment, not enough to hurt, but enough he knew how tense xe was before xe shot up and stormed from the room. “Wait, I’ll do your first aid now. You two comfort each other we can talk about the other things you’ve mentioned later.”

It was an easy instruction for Steve to hear, already wrapped in Robin, but xir departure was paused by Murray. “Dmitri says he might know some of the names of people involved, or know where the records for that infiltration would be.”

“Write them down and I’ll review them later. My boy needs looking after first.” Xe grunted still leaving the room.

/\/\

It didn’t make sense to Robin.

Steve spoke of being owned and worrying over it but still talked back and seemed relaxed by the demon’s presence and the demon? Xe wasn’t parenting her friend but xe were close to it.

Xe was gentle with Steve, letting him hide and warning him of any actions xe did. When xe finished checking one side for injuries, Robin thought xe would just move him, and went to speak but instead xir grounded Steve with soft words and a hand heavy on his knee, waiting until he looked up to request, not order, the position change.

She couldn’t help wondering more and more why Steve worried in the way he’d just confided to her. This didn’t seem like an owner treating xir possession. If anything she thought xe was acting a little like a cat owner.

“Well I can see why Nancy asked me to set you two up.” Murray commented, watching them swap places around Steve. “Don’t think she’s right, though.”

Steve snorted and Robin pulled a face at him, “No thanks. We’re platonic and happy that way.”

“Soulmates actually. It’s almost as strong as mine over his soul.” The Demon remarked, glancing up before nudging Steve’s arm to reach a wound more easily.

“Platonic.” Steve used moving his arm as a chance to swat at xim.

Xe chuckled, catching his wrist and gently guiding it to Robin’s shoulder. “Didn’t argue with that. You two took never leaving each other more seriously than most marriages though. Was that because of the story you just shared, or something else?”

She glanced sharply at xim, ready to scold for asking questions when they’d all agreed to leave it while Steve’s injuries were treated, but xe was looking at her, same as Steve was.

“Yes.” She replied bluntly, set on not going into more detail until Steve was fully bandaged up.

“I’m glad my boy had you there then.” Xe stated, nodding genially.

/\/\

“This house is moving around us.” Will observed.

They’d turned back from their exploration a while ago, but neither he or Eddie could figure out how to return to the original rooms. Eddie laughed at the statement. “I’m sure we’ll be found if something’s going on, right now I’m just wondering how we could use this in a campaign. Give them an unmapped place, maybe offer the players the option to draw a map as they go and see how long it takes them to realise the rooms are changing.”

“Then it would be a case of how to provide them an escape.” Will mused. “Getting in would be easy, and finding conflicts or challenges in different rooms fun, hell if we worked together as joint DM’s we could swap for each room and pull an enemy or type of room out of the hat each time but there’d need to be a reason.”

“Or an ally outside of the area that could bring them back out of it if signalled.” Eddie suggested. “Maybe someone wanting a specific treasure.”

Will huffed a little, “As long as it isn’t a rescue the village mission. Never managed to make them focus on campaigns like that.”

“Hey Will, Eddie, You want to find my old room with me?” Steve appeared in the door they’d been approaching, tugging Robin along behind him.

“We were actually just-” Will began to say but paused when Eddie held his hand up.

Looking over the paid, Eddie was sure Steve was avoiding some emotional moment while Robin thought whatever had happened was incredibly awkward. “Sure Harrington, if you know the way cause this safehouse says we don’t.”

“His demon decides who finds each other. Xe isn’t going to let Steve get lost.” Robin chimed up, nudging Steve teasingly, “Just everyone else.”

“Useful. Also his demon? The ownership thing goes both ways?” The remark was laughed after, Will snickering a little too.

Steve just rolled his eyes. “No. But apparently just talking about someone using pronouns is too boring for Robin. Xe hasn’t told me xir name so I doubt anyone else is going to learn it. What’ve you two been up to?”

“Exploring and getting lost trying to get back to you all.” Will said, gesturing around, “Then figuring out how we can make this part of a campaign.”

“Great, another time getting put into your game.” Steve sarcastically cheered. “So you pair decided to be friends then?”

Will shook his head then, “Nope, I just decided not to blame Eddie for Mike’s lies or Dustin’s hero worship. Still trying to figure out why Lucas barely mentioned him though.”

“Did you blame me when Dustin and me started hanging out?” Steve blinked, wondering how often the kids had stayed in touch since that definitely suggested the closest friends of the group had shifted while the Byers were in California.

“Nope. You didn’t separate him from us. Mike’s the one who claimed to have a grudge over that, but we all think he’s just looking for reasons to be annoyed at you.” The answer was easily given, but with an expression that said an insult was either disguised in it or a word away.

All the older teens laughed anyway, before Steve narrowed his eyes on Eddie, “This is why you need to let the kids enjoy their own hobbies. Lucas not mentioning you to Will says just as much as your reaction to the Championship Game did. Sort that out.”

“Get me to Lucas and I’ll start the apologies now.” Eddie agreed, hand on his heart and exaggerating his sincerity by kneeling. “But I’d already pledged to welcome Sir Will the Wise into Hellfire from my sheepies reports of his skill. Mayhap even declaring him heir to the DM title, although I think Jeff will be annoyed to graduate with me and miss that chance.”

Robin huffs at him, gesturing in the direction Steve had started leading them, “Then let Jeff have a go while you still lead the club. Come on, I need to know if Steve’s room is as bad here as it is in that house of his.”

“What’s wrong with my room at home?” Steve protested. “It’s clean and spacious.”

“Devoid of personality and a plaid overload.” She countered, “Tell me, was that your choice, or xir choice?”

He pouted at her, moving to sit down as they entered a living room. “Not letting you see my room now. I like the pattern. I can graph things on it and they always vanish before I’m next in there.”

“Not sure what’s worse, that you draw on your walls, or that you want guide lines to help you draw on them. Did xe start that when you were a kid?” Robin retorted.

“To make graphs a bigger size, if you must know.” Steve snarked back.

/\/\

Will hadn’t expected this when he decided to introduce himself to Eddie. He’d meant to make a sarcastic comment about the other having magic to get Mike playing DnD again and explore on his own, but the other had insisted on knowing him.

Steve was on a rant about struggling with maths but learning as much as he could of geometry after a teacher explained how it impacts basketball. Honestly it bewildered Will a little to hear the generally accepted dumbest of the party going off about angles and throw heights and just how having plaid walls helped him understand it all. A glance at Eddie and Robin suggested they were having similar thoughts before Will had to exclaim, “You can do all this but refuse to play DnD because adding a small amount to the roll of a die is too difficult?”

“Nah, I’m just bitching at Dustin when I say that. He knows I’ve played when Erica needed cheering up.” He waved the words away, “Besides, He, Mike and Lucas all got into Hellfire and aside from the entire club having great reasons to hate ‘King Steve’, I’m not giving up work shifts or dates to join a high school club.”

“I didn’t hate you.” Eddie mumbles, getting the group looking at him curiously. It was the quietest that Will had heard him.

He scoffed, “Jonathan hated him for a while and I know he wasn’t really on Steve or Tommy’s radar before I went missing. Rumour has it you’re usually making yourself the target of bullies so who did you actually hate?”

“Billy.” Simple word, but Eddie laughed a little when Steve waved a hand to tell him to continue. “Steve didn’t pay attention. He was popular because he was good as sports and everyone wanted to figure out what actually went on in his head. Tommy was a jerk and a bully, but the King? He barely looked at us all in judgement. It did my head in but wasn’t enough to be hated for, especially when Billy joined the school just wanting to fight anyone. The amount of kids that learnt they could be great at track because that boy terrified them in his first months at Hawkins High could’ve tripled the size of the club.”

“Is that why Max says she only tolerates you?” Will asked. El had mentioned it after one of the few calls they’d managed to get since the move and he’d assumed it was something to do with Lucas earlier.

Eddie fell back, hand to his chest, “The insult so harshly given. I thought we were sisters in arms, bound by the good fight, and here I am betrayed?”

“No, it’s cause of Lucas being pushed out a little from dragons club for playing Basketball, don’t tell him, only a few poorly timed insults about Billy were heard and she’s heard them from most of the party now unfortunately. The tolerating is because Eddie and Wayne help out in the trailer sometimes, have done since they moved in.” Steve explained, swatting at him.

“Steve. I forgot to mention, tell your kids to be more careful when talking to demons.” The demon was suddenly in the room with them, and Will had to push himself further onto the couch to avoid falling off when he startled. “Three of them literally just tried to demand you off me.”

Steve stared at xim for a moment, blinking and looking over to Robin, “Mike got talked into that?”

“Emotionally he was only slightly less fervent in the appeal than Dustin. Lucas at least was somewhat cautious over it.” Xe replied.

“You told them no, right? Those shitheads are not getting into some mess with you in my place.” Will blinked at the confrontational tone in Steve’s voice. When they’d been talking about how he’s owned earlier Steve had seemed resigned, almost fearful of what he could be made to do on the demon’s will but now he was ready to fight xim.

Xe laughed, shaking xir head, “Of course I rejected the idea. Humans do not treat each other correctly if ownership is mentioned and I will not have you subjected to that no matter how good their original intentions.”

/\/\

Steve hesitated, turned to the door having declared he’d get the other kids together to sort out dinner and bedrooms. It felt wrong to walk away from his owner and friends, especially after hearing what some of his kids had tried.

“Perhaps we should talk first.” Xe offered, getting a warning glare from Robin as xe moved to follow him. “You’re more anxious than normal.”

He nodded, “And you’re acting oddly.” With that he led them into the next room, not worrying over his friends listening in as xe wouldn’t allow that.

“I’m looking after you as you’re allowing, the same as I always have.” Xe stated, sitting on the floor as Steve curled into a corner of the sofa there.

He shook his head at the words. “That’s not – Don’t lie. You’re my owner. I do what you want, not this, the reverse.”

“Yes, I do own you, but what does that mean to me?” Xe asked and he folded, arms trying to hug and protect him from the question.

“I can’t know your thoughts.” He mumbled, sure that even if he’d argued and bitched at the demon before this was a dangerous time to do so.

Xe still pushed xir question, “What do you think it means to me?”

There was the feeling of an order again and Steve hated realising it hadn’t been directed at him before. “I don’t know!” He repeated, springing up. “I thought you wanted someone popular, to get deals from my friends or something, but you didn’t care about that. I thought it might be to show off, like Tommy’s parents did over expensive things, but you never do that. I’m not a slave cause you never make me do anything and it’s not company cause I barely see you for months at a time. You own me and want nothing somehow. Everyone wants something and they say demons trick and are evil but you just don’t care.” The words felt like they exploded out of him and Steve grabbed a cushion as he fell back onto the sofa to hide.

“Demons aren’t humans.” Xe replied, moving to sit next to him, resting a paw on his back. “These are all very human views of ownership. Do you want me to tell you how I view owning anything?”

A sniffle and small nod was all the response he could give. It felt odd but natural to fear his owner a little after the day he’d had and the years where his religion classes and history lessons all taught him how dangerous it could be to be owned.

“I’d describe it as being the emergency contact.” Xe began. “At least if I’m putting it in human concepts. I own you because someone else values other things over a precious life so I need to take what was a flicker and let it grow. If that’s into a flame or a forest fire that transforms the world isn’t my choice. I’m just here to enable it to happen.”

Steve watched xim warily. “You said values. My genetic donors still don’t care, do they?”

“No and I could see this when I accepted the deal.” Xe agreed. “It used to be that demons would accept deals like yours to save families. That’s where the myths came from of magical beings taking first born children in deals and how evil demons are. Some people made the opposite deals, asking for children and putting them through horrible lives and still pay for it now in torture and pain from the demons they hurt the children of. We can see intentions but they can be hidden and we can’t take the living out of the human world. For you I tried another way.”

“Have any parents wanted the sold children back?” He asked.

“Sometimes, and I do, just like most demons, check in, have the chance to amend deals if that’s the case. Usually it’s for visitation rather than parents having their kids back.” Xe shifted, form adjusting to be more jelly. “Yours never have. They’re vain and barely remember Hawkins or the pregnancy. I know they’d intended to offer you to the lab if no demon appeared for them.”

Steve didn’t reply for a moment, letting everything xe shared settle into his brain as his eyes flickered over the room. “Robin’s my emergency contact.” He eventually said, “The hospital said your information was out of date and I didn’t know what to put instead.”

“Her claim on your soul is nearly as strong as mine.” Xir voice stayed calm, trying to soothe him. “But I will add details to be a secondary emergency contact again.”

/\/\

Recognising his safehouse ceiling made Steve breathe easier after a week jerking awake, wondering if Vecna had taken anyone else. The night before he’d insisted on all the rooms for Robin, Eddie and the kids to be on the same hallway as his, getting the demon to promise it would stay that way until he woke at a minimum.

Nancy and Jonathan hadn’t re-emerged from wherever in the house they’d gone to, and Argyle had been given directions to find them when Steve levelled a glare at his owner. He would have tried keeping them near him as well, but being fairly sure xe had spoken to them about their pasts he didn’t. It might’ve ended up in an emotional confrontation when he needed to talk with his kids about how serious demonic deals were.

The adults had also been shuffled away from him, although Hopper did manage to stay long enough to call a wellbeing check in over at him. Steve had found it odd, but went along with it easily enough.

“Steve? Please say your room hasn’t moved.” Robin called, knocking on his door.

“It’s not. Xe did promise it wouldn’t. Come in.” He replied, comfortable lounging in bed for now.

She didn’t, just opening the door enough to lean around it, “Just me, or are all of us allowed in?”

“Might as well have all of you. Come make it a slumber party.”

/\/\

Steve noticed he was being watched during breakfast. It wasn’t a new feeling when everyone was together but the expressions on Hopper and Joyce’s faces were unsettling for how difficult Steve found them to read.

In the past they’d scrutinise him, waiting for him to mess up or something, and occasionally try to move their kids away from him, but none of that was happening now. If anything they seemed to be getting frustrated at each other the longer the meal went on. He kept glancing over while making sure everyone had their choice of breakfast and answering a few more questions along the way.

“Nope.” He got utterly distracted from trying to figure their expressions out as he saw Erica’s choice of breakfast was ice cream. “Actual food first, ice cream after 9:30.” He stated, barely surprised when the bowl emptied itself to show the current time. “Of course xe gave you this.” He sighed, meeting the glare now levelled at him. “I said at least halfway healthy breakfasts, Erica.”

She huffed, glancing around the table. “So if I had cereal on my ice cream?”

“I’d want there to be more cereal than ice cream in the bowl. How about pancakes and bacon instead?” He suggested.

For a moment she glared some more, but eventually nodded. “I suppose that’s acceptable.”

“Can I have pancakes too?” Dustin called out, too loud for being a seat away from them and getting the other kids, except El, to start agreeing.

Steve just laughed, nodding at them and turning to the adults. “Murray, do you and Dimitri want including in the pancake orders? Joyce? Hopper?”

“Oh I can do that Steve.” Joyce offered, standing as Murray translated the question and seemingly a lot more for the Russian.

“No! Mum, no need. If Steve needs a hand cooking, we’ve got this, right?” Jonathan interceded before steve could react, tapping Will’s shoulder and getting an agreement from him too.

For a moment, Steve looked between the family, grinning at the out of place reactions. “Thanks for the offer, Joyce, but you’re our guests. I’m not making you cook and am happy to do it.”

‘And we want edible pancakes.’ Will mouthed, not visible to the adults further along the table.

“Looks like the kid has this, Joyce. I’ll have pancakes if that’s okay.” Hopper said, tugging Joyce’s arm to get her to sit down again. “If this is a shifting labyrinth of rooms, where’s the food coming from?”

Steve shrugged, already pulling ingredients out of the cupboards, “Xe buys it whenever we stay here. I usually get taken with xim, but I think xe went as we slept.” He explained. He hadn’t seen the demon yet that morning but knew xe had been around while he gathered the party together.

/\/\

After everyone separating to explore or talk the day before Xe was surprised that they were staying together through the morning. Xe was less surprised to see Steve surrounded by his kids, with Eddie and Robin pulled into the group as well.

“No one trying to escape today?” Xe asked, joining the group and looking around at everyone more spread through the room.

“We’re planning how to clear Eddie’s name from the accusations.” Dustin said, barely glancing up from a notebook they were using to plan.

Xe laughed, shaking xir head, “Not needed. He spent that night teaching Steve guitar and stayed over. Since then you brats have kept him busy stopping you from trying to do the police’s job. Given that bunch of monkey’s can’t prevent an angry mob from forming, it was for the best.”

Steve groaned, holding a hand out for the guitar he knew would appear, while the rest had to scramble out of the way of other instruments appearing. “I think I’d prefer orders over this.”

“You wouldn’t and I won’t use them.” Xe reaffirmed. “They aren’t going to expect you to play to prove his alibi.”

“Wish they weren’t idiotic enough that I can’t believe that.” He grumbled, but looked at Eddie curiously. “Are you alright doing this?”

Eddie had leant back, blinking, barely even adjusting how he sat when his own guitar appeared in his lap. Slowly he picked it up, looking Steve over. “Sure Big boy. I’ll have you shredding in no time.”

/\/\

With the guitar in his lap, Steve thought about taking off, insisting on learning without an audience but decided against it. When he’d led Robin, Will and Eddie back to the group the night before Mike and Dustin had complained about being replaced again and he wasn’t going to let feelings like that grow if learning around everyone could stop it.

He was just looking from Eddie to the guitar, wondering if he should ask something to start when Mike came to sit closer to him.

“Can I learn too?” Mike demanded more than asked. “I want to play good music though.”

Eddie and Steve exchanged a glance before Eddie turned to him, “What’s with the emphasis on good music, Little Wheeler? You’re not getting far enough to play any songs today, anyway.” He leant forwards, eyes focused and promising offence would be easily taken.

“Like you play, not Steve.” He stated, matching the look. “No whining singers, either.” Max scoffed from her seat a little ways off, but didn’t say anything.

Steve huffed, “Judgemental shit, glad you weren’t the one trying to save Hawkins. How about Eddie shows us how to hold the guitar, first?”

He got a nod in return, and immediately Eddie started instructing them, barely acknowledging when another guitar, acoustic this time, appeared beside Mike for him to use. There were still other instruments around the room, but nobody moved to use them, and only claimed one if they knew how to play it, like Robin claiming hers.

/\/\

Lucas sighed after a while of everyone watching the guitar lesson, “So how do you decide which hobbies are cool and which aren’t?”

“Go with the chillest and you’re on the right track.” Argyle called, leaning back with Jonathan nodding beside him.

Max shook her head. “It’s the rebellion, the energy about it.” She countered.

Steve rolled his eyes, moving the guitar to one side as the conversation distracted him. “You shouldn’t. All hobbies are both cool and nerdy depending on how interested we are. In high school, the ones most people are interested in, or pushed to be, become cool, like basketball. In this group, a lot of you mostly the weird kids at school, DnD becomes cool. It’s just a popularity contest for activities.”

“How much of that was Robin and how much your way to delude yourself you’re still cool?” Mike sneered, getting a sharp glance.

“Some of it was things I wanted to yell at half of you shitheads when I saw nobody but me there supporting Lucas in the championship game.” He snapped back. “What happened to not splitting the party and supporting each other, huh, Mike?”

Mike blustered and so did Dustin, “We tried to reschedule! To postpone or something. Eddie wouldn’t let us.”

“And I was wrong not to. I’d spent too many years in that melting pot taking on the bullies to shield others that I did the same thing the jocks do and tried to make Lucas give up something for our club.” Eddie spoke up before more of an argument could start. “Steve’s right, we should have supported him, “He turned to Lucas now, “And I’m sorry for my part in stopping that, as well as how I’ve treated you over the laundry baskets game.”

Lucas took the offered hand then, a cautiousness in his eyes, “In full apology you need to try shooting some hoops with me when we get back.”

Eddie laughed outright, “Damn it Sinclair, making me exercise, but your condition is agreed too.”

The exchange reminded Steve of a room he’d asked for on his last visit so he slipped off, waiting in the doorway when he saw Dustin had spotted and was trying to follow.

/\/\

“So where are we going?” Dustin asked after the third room they went through.

Steve smirked over his shoulder, “Basketball court. I asked for one the last time I was here.”

“Really? Actually how can basketball be nerdy? That makes no sense. It’s for the jocks.” Dustin was excited though Steve knew he had no enthusiasm for exercise.

“Ask Will. Apparently I complain over the math of DnD too much to have tried so hard to learn geometry for basketball.” He snickered

Dustin hesitated then, “You’re not mad at me over how I reacted when we got here, right?”

The question confused Steve for a moment, before he realised that he hadn’t actually had one on one time with Dustin since they’d arrived so of course he friend would be worrying. “Not at all. I knew you’d have questions. It was just a lot for me when everyone expected me to know the most and I really don’t.”

“Okay,” He nodded, “Now teach me this basketball math you somehow do.”

They laughed together when the next door did bring them to the court.

/\/\

They’d been in the safehouse for only two days when the Demon said xe could return them to Hawkins. The days had been filled with catching up, comforting each other over new and old traumas as well as everyone trying to learn more about Steve.

Steve had found himself having in depth conversations with everyone, which he’d expected for the kids. He hadn’t expected it so much with the adults and other teens near his age and assumed that his owner was the cause or inspiration for them all trying to actually know him. The oddest of the conversations had been Murray giving him advice over how little was noticed about relationships by people both outside and inside them, but it was a nice change compared to most of the group dismissing comments about that as useless gossip.

The relief of hearing they could return to Hawkins was cut through by Hopper asking, “Do you mean all of us are going back to Hawkins?” He’d looked from the Demon, to El, the Byers and Argyle.

Xe looked at him in amusement, “Would you prefer to be returned to where I took you from?”

“No.” A deep frown etched itself across Hoppers face, “But California to officially move back with the Byers would be more reasonable.”

“I want to go home again!” El protested, “It’s too hot there!”

A cacophony of requests and protests broke out then, everyone having some view of where they’d either be needed, wanted or expected to be, until Steve clapped twice, getting everyone’s attention.

“The kids coming back to Hawkins, I’ll look after, whether that’s telling frantic parents where you’ve been or having you stay with me, I’ll sort it out. Murray is best at sorting out the press from what I hear, so I want him to come back to Hawkins too. The rest of you are old enough to sort this out quietly! Without arguing. Discuss and decide.”

“Or I will drop Steve and the youngest at home and everyone else close to where I found them.” Xe agreed, serious in tone but Steve could see xe was teasing them all.

At those words, Joyce and Hopper moved to talk in a corner while Nancy left her argument with Mike to talk with Jonathan and Argyle.

“That invite to stay include me, Sunshine?” Eddie asked, nudging Steve with his elbow.

“Not sure I was planning to let you leave if you tried.” Steve replied. “Staying in murder houses isn’t fun.”

It looked like Eddie would ask more but Nancy called him over then, “Steve! How well can you sweet talk my parents.”

“Depends, are you about to make me explain your disappearance to Cali and Mike’s appearance back in Hawkins?” He asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

The trio gave him sheepish looks and he muttered under his breath while walking over. The stories he’d have to share would either get more complicated than a spiders web or need to basically just be reading parents into what they’d been dealing with for years.

/\/\

In the end, Murray and Dimitri joined Steve, Eddie, Robin and all the kids in going back to Hawkins, while Argyle, Jonathan, Nancy, Joyce and Hopper went to California. It made sense to ensure the California house was sorted and any issues there cleared up but Steve was now worried over how Dustin’s mum and the Sinclair’s parents were reacting since the kids had all been missing so far as they knew for days, right after murders had happened.

Erica was also thinking about that and tried to demand a lift home as soon as they were dropped back into Steve’s home.

“No. I’m calling everyone’s parents, and Eddie’s uncle to come here. One explanation for all of them.” He decided. “Get drinks, snacks, and Erica, find somewhere to stash that bowl of yours too.”

He did call the Sinclair’s first, knowing better than to argue with Erica’s glare too much.

Something in him withered when Mrs Sinclair answered the phone with “Lucas? Please say that’s you.” She sounded frantic.

“It’s Steve Harrington actually, but-” He hurried to continue hearing a sob, “Lucas and Erica are with me. I’ll explain everything if you come over. A couple of Lucas’s friends also need their parents calling so-”

“We’ll be right there!” She promised, cutting him off and hanging up, already yelling “Honey! Steve-”

The call to Claudia went similarly, but Steve was sure the last two would be odd. That was why he easily let Robin take the phone. Her call was quick and basically left her parents even more convinced they were dating than they had been. Steve shook his head when Dustin heard it and was clearly about to ask if they were together now. The Buckley’s were the only ones that belief was allowed for at Robin’s request.

Then he was being given the phone back and dialling the number Eddie had given him to put off talking to either Wheeler parent a little longer.

“Who’s this?” A gruff voice answered, “And why are you calling the factory?”

“This is Steve Harrington and I’m trying to get in touch with Mr Wayne Munson.” He put on the overly polite tone his mother used for staff in shops.

He got huffed at before hearing a yell away from the phone for Wayne. There was a thud as if the phone had been walked away from and Steve could only wait, hoping Wayne was where Eddie expected him to be.

“Hello, why was I told a Harrington is calling for me?” The question made him wince, knowing nothing good was likely said about him before.

Eddie shoved a note under his nose. “What?” Steve asked aloud before shaking his head and just reading it; “Letting you know the Garfield Mug will get repaired.”

“Eddie only just told you to say that, didn’t he?” Wayne sounded thoughtful, “Insisted on a code to say someone is safe but always forgets it.”

“Shoved the note in front of me without saying anything.” Steve grumbled. “But we’ve been helping him since, well since Spring break started. He’s gonna stay with me for a bit but I’ve got to explain everything to a few others soon if you want to come see him and learn what’s been going on.”

Wayne let out a noise, enough to know he’d been heard, and, Steve guessed, thought for a moment, “He’s got info about Eddie beyond the pigs backtracking. I’m taking off.” Wayne called, the volume of it startling Steve as the phone clearly wasn’t moved when he yelled. “You’re in the fancy district. Which car should I look for?”

“BMW.” Steve replied, amused that that was how Wayne planned to find his home.

“I’ll be there soon.”

Steve took a deep breath as he hung up, closing his eyes for a moment only to meet Mike’s expectant glare when he reopened them.

“Are you going to call my parents or not?”

He narrowed his eyes, “I could just make you call them, see how well you explain anything to Karen.”

“Like that’d be hard.” Mike huffed, getting Steve to turn back to the phone with a roll of his eyes.

Half dreading the call, Steve dialled and soon had the call answered, “Hello Wheeler household. This is Karen.”

“Hi Karen, how are you?” He began, trying to delay explaining the mess, given neither Wheeler kid wanted their family to know what was going on.

“Steve, I’m wondering where Nancy is. I know she was dating Jonathan Byers the last I was told but have you gotten back together and stolen her away?” Karen asked, half teasing as she clearly tried to bury her concern.

Steve laughed a little, “No, but she is with Jonathan, and that’s her location too. There’s been some drama with her relationship and Mike’s friend group so Mike has come back to Hawkins early, while Nancy has gone to talk with Jonathan something about college I think but I’m not sure.”

“She’s driven there? Are you sure she’s fine.” Karen sounded alarmed now, “And how did Mike get back?”

“One of my relatives helped them sort out travel and they’re both fine. I checked in with Nancy just over an hour ago and have Mike glaring at me currently. I’m returning him as soon as I’ve got some other stuff sorted, okay?”

Karen laughed lightly, “That’s fine, I know you’ll keep him safe, but tell him no more changing travel plans without telling me beforehand.”

“I will. See you later.” Steve hung up, leaning against the wall, amazed that had been so easy to do.

/\/\

In the end, nobodies parents were fully told about the Upside Down. Steve did start to, but the conversation got side tracked so the most Claudia and the Sinclairs knew was that the Lab had caused everything and the government was involved in them not being told. He almost felt guilty but Lucas and Dustin seemed happier with that happening.

Robin was still getting judgemental looks from Lucas after admitting she was the one to get Erica involved but let Steve shoulder the ice cream deal mostly. Both she and Steve were amused by that and definitely relaxed as those kids headed home.

Wayne had listened to the explanation but didn’t make any move to leave as the kids did, sharing a glance, Steve took Robin, El and Will with him to drop Mike off. “You tell him anything you want. Nobody has got involved here yet, so do it now.” Steve reassured, last one to leave the house deliberately so he could.

He only hoped Eddie did actually inform Wayne of it all, since they seemed really close.

/\/\

Since El had mentioned getting help to get her powers back, Steve had expected the government to get involved, even if he doubted Hawkins had really had enough happen to get that attention. What he didn’t expect was his owner to walk into Family Video halfway through his and Robin’s shift, looking every bit the business man Hawkins assumed his parents were, and plant himself behind the counter with him.

After that he wasn’t surprised to see the black cars of government officials coming in, or Doctor Owens coming into the store with someone else wearing a doctors coat beside him.

“Excuse me, people who torture children are not welcome in Hawkins.” Xe spoke before either worker could give their normal greeting.

“I’m not sure what you mean,” Doctor Owens replied, “I’m just here to talk with Mr Harrington and Mrs Buckley about their absences over the last week.”

They both scoffed, “That would be Keith’s job and in his words, ‘Shutting the store for a mourning period was a great publicity move.’” Robin countered, “And Family Video has no need of Medical Doctor’s when we rent videos to people.”

“You’re not discussing anything with my son when I am here to represent and protect him.” Xe followed her words with an unmoving stare. “Now, Brennan, if you don’t wish to experience the tortures you’ve put others through yourself, you should leave Hawkins immediately. I’ve cleaned up the hell you tried bringing here and your favourite kid is dead. Henry Creel tried to steal part of hell and is paying for that forever more.”

Brennan tried to meet his glare and Steve could only assume this was El’s papa. After a moment of that he turned and left, waiting in the car as Doctor Owens was still there.

“I don’t know what your son has been telling you but-” Doctor Owens began to say, only to fall silent though his lips still moved.

Xe glanced back at Steve. “He told me nothing until I was charging through a land that definitely wasn’t Earth to save his life and that of his friends. What I’ve learned since then says you’ve been giving less than the bare minimum to everyone plagued by your failures and the governments inability to treat people humanely.”

“You want to negotiate?” Doctor Owens asked, clearly uncertain over what was happening.

The demon’s grin was like an alligator shining his teeth as xe nodded, “For everyone involved, from my boy, to the Munsons and even to the emancipated Chief soon moving back after being captured by Russians. You are going to compensate them all into wealth for the amount of trauma and pain you’ve heaped on them. Would you like the demands now, or after all of Hawkins knows what the abandoned lab used to do?”

He looked at xem in horror, never doubting the xe could manage that, then out through the doors. “Now, and I will do all I can to get them agreed to.”

“If you don’t, the world will know just how cruel America was before Russia even dreamt of it.” Xe vowed.

As the door closed behind Doctor Owens Steve and Robin started snickering, “Steve, your owner is brilliant.”

“Apparently!”

Xe smiled at them, shaking xir head, “Thank you. I’m keeping an eye on you for a while until I know this is as safe as it used to be again.” Xe informed them.

/\/\

“So, Demons! Can I ask more questions now?” Dustin had been holding a notebook even as he got into the car, watching Steve expectantly.

He shook his head, “Surprised it took you this long.” He admitted, before sharply looking over, “And if I ever hear of you trying to deal with demons even after I’ve answered whatever questions you’ve got, your ass is grass.” He pulled off, taking Dustin to the arcade where Eddie and Mike should be meeting them.

In the back of the car El and Will were sitting quietly, happy to just listen to them.

“Xe told you?” Dustin pouted for a moment before looking at his notebook, “So does xe only have that bipedal but with horns and claws form?”

“Xe changes and chooses xir form based on what’s happening and how xir feeling. No, I don’t know if all demons can do that.” Steve guessed the second question and decided to stop that possibly getting repeated a lot from the start. “I’ve not met any other demons so can’t say anything about them, just the one that owns me.”

Dustin nodded, crossing out a few questions and writing a note, presumably of that lack of knowledge. “Have you been to hell? Other than the Upside Down?”

Steve shrugged, glancing over as the road was quiet. “Again, I don’t know. Xe moved us to the safehouse so do you know where that is? But I don’t think so. Xe is pretty closed off about things that might risk me or just some information about xem.”

“Did xe know about everything else we’ve been through?” El asked, looking calm when Steve glanced in the rear-view mirror at her. He was just pulling up to the arcade now and wasn’t going to leave Max waiting for a ton more questions to get asked.

“No. Xe hasn’t shown up for the others and hadn’t realised what I’d gotten into. Apparently other humans xe owned had some bad injuries over their lives too.” He answered, “No more questions when you could be attempting to beat Max’s scores again.”

/\/\

They’d been back in Hawkins a day when they heard the roar again but Steve didn’t drop, ignoring the clear order and everything in him wanting to.

Jason and the rest of the current basketball team did stumble back however, staring in fear over his shoulder.

Lucas hadn’t faltered either, solidifying his stance and bringing his slingshot out of his pocket to aim at his teammates. “Eddie is innocent. No devil worship is done in a game. It’s done by hate-filled bastards like you, thinking you’re owed more than you’ve earnt.” He spat.

“Tell that to the demon you summoned.” Jason stuttered back, a shaking hand raising to point over their shoulders.

“Oh no, Xe’re here because you attacked me and xe’re keeping a closer watch currently.” Steve straightened from his defensive stance, rolling his eyes, even while sidestepping so the demon could pass. “It’s really dumb to attack a demon’s property, you know.”

Jason looked angrier for a moment, seeming to judge if he’d get past Steve, Lucas and the demon to Eddie again. “They already sold you! You call that innocent Sinclair?”

“My boy has been mine since the 60’s and you are already due for hell.” Xe growled out, startling Lucas as he moved past them with many limbs and spikes on xir current form. “I’ll escort you there.”

Steve couldn’t tell if it was xir words or xir lunge towards the boys that had them sprinting away, and didn’t care much, the fact he’d ignored the order weighing on him the further they went. “Sorry I didn’t drop out of the way but I wasn’t letting them past me.”

Xe huffed. “My roar doesn’t mean get down or drop. It means don’t block me.” Xe grumbled. “Go get your injuries checked.”

“Are you doing this so I can learn when something’s an order? ‘Cause I’ve got that figured out now.” Steve muttered, going to his car where the door was still open from him jumping out to help Lucas fighting the club back from Eddie.

Xe nodded, “Yes, you’ve torn yourself apart looking for them too much and I’m not getting Robin on my case again.”

“Why would Robin do that?” Lucas asked, giving Steve a chance to actually make the call on his walkie. He’d moved to help Eddie up who had dropped upon hearing the roar, though since he’d been the target Steve wasn’t sure if an injury from before he and Lucas had gotten the attention from him influenced that reaction.

“Very protective friend.” Xe answered, eyes narrowed as xe checked the area one more time. “Very protective and too ready to fight me.” As soon as Xe finished speaking Xe was gone.

Steve shook his car keys to get Eddie and Lucas’s attention from the now empty space. “Come on, Robs has the Family Video first aid kit waiting for us.”

/\/\

A month after their return had everyone back in Hawkins, even Steve’s owner hadn’t fully left yet. Most of Hawkins had accepted Eddie’s innocence now, although some of the basketball team still tried to start fights occasionally.

Steve was worried still, since he had expected the Demon to leave after dealing with the government, but xe hadn’t. “So are you just staying in Hawkins now?” He had to ask eventually.

Eddie and Wayne were in the kitchen but he’d wandered out to the pool, knowing xe would be there too. Xe knew when conversations were needed and Steve never bothered to ask how, perhaps one of the more curious or confrontational of the party had done, but that wasn’t his concern.

“No, I’m not staying for much longer.” Xe replied, but tugged him to sit beside xim.

“So what happens then? Do I just carry on with Robin as my emergency contact?” Steve had to ask. He’d learnt enough about his owner now that he doubted xir detachment; he just didn’t know how xe could remain updated with what happened around him now.

Xe looked through him for a moment. “Now you live. Carry on doing your best to look after this family you made and be happy.”

“And never seeing you unless you decide to visit?” He challenged. It had been nice letting someone else be in charge of his wellbeing even in the small ways xe did.

“That is an option, but there are others you might prefer.” Xir lap suddenly held a variety of objects, including a crystal ball, a plain notebook and a phone handset.

Steve looked over the items, brow furrowed for a moment, “Are you saying these are ways I could call you?”

“The notebook I’d need to refine and then anyone who wrote in it would be contacting me. The other two I can ensure are set up for you to contact me, the phone already is really since I am your secondary emergency contact once more.” Xe explained, handing the notebook over when Steve reached for it.

“Is that only for important stuff? Not just letting you know things happening.” He checked.

Xe shook xir head, “It’s for anything you want to tell me, but definitely if off shoots of hell are formed again.”

“Oh.” Steve blinked, stunnd that it was this easy to get a way to contact his demon. “Thank you. Um, Did I disappoint you? Doing all that stuff I thought you were telling me to?” The thought had grown since he’d heard how xe viewed this ownership situation, and if xe was talking candidly with him it seemed like a good time to ask.

“No, I understood it. This isn’t a situation humans can explain, even in their stories, so I knew there’d be some confusion as you grew up. I just didn’t think it would upset you so much otherwise I’d have spoken about it with you sooner.” Xe spoke gently, patting Steve’s shoulder. “Now you can go on living your life just getting in touch when you want to without worrying over orders it’s unlikely I’ll ever give you again.”

“Unless I’m in another life or death situation.” Steve finished wryly.

Xe laughed, “Unless that happens, yes.”

/\/\

After xe left, Steve found it easier to return to daily life than he had so far following Upside Down instances, easily accepting the Munson’s into his home while the investigation of Chrissy’s death was finished and their payouts sorted. Xe had told Steve xir demands of compensation so he would report back how much ended up being offered since that hadn’t yet been finalised.

“You really saved me, you know.” Eddie commented slouched on Steve’s sofa while Steve and Robin messed around in the kitchen supposedly sorting out dinner and drinks for their hang out. “This town would’ve killed me if it wasn’t for you and your demon.”

“Xe isn’t mine, just my owner.” Steve laughed, “And of course we were gonna help. Dustin alone would have been insufferable if we hadn’t.”

Robin laughed too, “Yeah, that boy can get Steve to do anything he wants, I swear. Have you seen their secret handshake yet?”

Steve rolled his eyes, “Dustin put a stop to that before he started high school, apparently it’s too childish to keep doing.”

“Damn, sounds like it would’ve been revolutionary to see. King Steve doing a dorky handshake.” Eddie teased.

“As if the pats and slaps the basketball team does are any different. Dustin’s was just more fun.” Steve huffed, “Are we gossiping over how we got each other through that shit or going to watch a film?”

Eddie grinned at him, shaking his head, “I’ve got stuff to say first.”

Steve gestured around the room, “Then the floor is yours, what do you want to share.”

“My gratitude, yes to Robin as well, but mostly to you. You might not have been the most willing to help from the start but you did anyway, and you did everything you could to keep me feeling okay. You’re worlds better than I ever imagined you could be and then when you could have just dropped me off home you not only let me stay but got Wayne to as well. And it’s wonderful.” Eddie had stood and faced Steve as if he was actually making a speech or a toast at a wedding. “If I was better at cooking I’d offer to make you dinner every night, but instead, let me take you out to dinner soon, Enzo’s maybe, to thank you for all you’ve done.”

Robin gasped at the offer, hands shooting up to cover her mouth and Steve raised an eyebrow at that, before running Eddie’s words through his mind again.

“I’ll agree either way, but is that just a thank you dinner or is it a date, Munson?” He asked, watching Eddie’s expression carefully.

He flushed a little, hand going to tug his hair in front of his face, “So it’s okay for it to be a date? Really?”

“I’m saying now, I’ve never dated a guy before, but you are hot.” Steve cautioned, knowing from some of Robin’s rants that it was better to be honest about that, “So long as you don’t mind that I’ve got that shit to figure out still, then we can try a date.”

Eddie didn’t react for a moment, but Robin did, launching herself at him for a hug. “I’m not alone, Steve! Dingus! I’m not alone here!” She exclaimed excitedly.

“Guess not,” He laughed, “And I still say you should do exactly what Eddie just did and ask Vickie out!”

“You said yes!” Eddie blinked back into the room, latching onto Steve’s other side. “I get to date you! I’ll make it a great evening!”

With that promise made, Steve grinned but nodded at their seats. “You do that, we can sort out when tomorrow, now, I need to get food out of the oven and you can get the movie put in.”

/\/\

Three months after Steve’s Demon had closed the Upside Down and got the government to given them far more than they’d need to live comfortably for the rest of their lives, the Party decided to have a celebratory dinner. Steve offered to host it since even with the payouts he had the biggest home still.

Hopper and Joyce had insisted on being the actual hosts despite the location and with Jonathan and Murray’s help managed to get the dinner made and dining room set for everyone to be able to fit in.

Before they began to eat, Hopper stood, “Yep, this is fake formal but seriously, lets toast to Steve’s Demon. Xe has better morals than too much of humanity and all of the government. Here’s to xem!”

Everyone laughed as they reached up and down the table trying to clink all their glasses together. “To Steve’s demon.”

[yaseraphine]

short-medium mercury observations bcuz I am feeling silly

A little silly astro obs until I am finished with the capricorn rising one. This post is just leo mercury non sense please don't mind me

I feel like a lot of water mercuries, especially scorpio mercuries, don’t talk much. They tend to observe, analyze and stay kind of out of the conversation. They only speak when it’s necessary. The opposite of a yapper basically

They also tend to have deep voices, both for men and women.

Capricorn mercuries can be a bit like this too. Really dry texters (as a leo mercury it gives me anxiety i feel like they hate me when they talk to me.. like if you hate me just tell me ☹️💔😭)

I genuinely don’t understand capricorns, and capricorn energy. Except when it’s in the ascendant or Venus, their energy is unreadable to me. Whenever I interact with a Capricorn, I feel like they hate me and don’t want to be there because they are not really expressive when they speak and are really direct and realists in their talking style. As a Leo mercury, I feel so judged 🫠😟Like if you hate me just say that💔😭😫

I am super expressive when I speak, kind of like a theater kid. Kind of like the voices in cartoons. Overtly excited when saying worldly stuff, like talking about the weather in the most dramatic way. When I speak, my tone goes up and down, it feels like you’re on a roller coaster when you interact with me. I have had people coming to me many times in the streets or the library telling me that I am too loud and that I should lower my voice to be respectful lol💀🤡💩 sorry😀

Aries and Leo mercuries, sometimes sag mercuries : we can’t shut the f up to save our lives lol the number of times i have been kicked out of class with my friends at school for being too loud, and laughing too much i can’t even count help-💀🤪🤠

Mercury in Sagittarius are so funny but at the same time so cringe my mom has it and she always makes corny dad jokes and she’s always the only one laughing at the diner table lmaoo

Mercuries in Gemini are so fucking smart, not in a genius way, but they can pick up on stuff so easily. Like understanding a text, or seeing the main points of a text without reading it in its entirety. They are really good at making connections between things, and connections that make sense. They are generally as logical as virgo mercuries, but they lack the meticulous side. They are pretty much to me a virgo mercury with ADHD on crack lol I'd say instead of being smart, they are more so perceptive, insightful or astute.

Some Mercury in Pisces sometimes speak so cryptically that it gets hard to understand, once they open their mouths, where they are going with what they’re trying to say. Their talking style is kind of surreal and romantic. They tend to create new words, and change up the grammar and verb conjugations. Their sensitivity and capacity to perceive things that cannot be seen by the naked eye is what makes them invent those words, because the already existing vocabulary isn’t enough to express this hyper specific thing or feeling they have.

Mercury in Pisces and Mercury in Virgo were placements that I found in the biggest readers I know. Both love reading and writing, and they have a thing for romance novels or fantasy books from what I've seen. Really delulu people in their own respective ways 🫡 but at the same time really talented 😁😍

the type of fiction virgo and pisces mercuries be writing on AO3 and Quotev instead of being productive members of society :

i just know a pisces mercury was behind this soul crushing poem 😞😔😿🫂

[neysaadept]

Prometheus Chapter 9

Emily Prentiss x Female CIA Reader

Chapter 9 - Why Do You Keep Saying No?

Tags: Limited use of y/n but established last name. Swearing, mentions of the pandemic and human and sex trafficking. Canon typical violence. Sexual innuendos. Drinking. Smoking. Slow Burn. Murder. Depictions of Flaying. Implied Rape. Mentions of Date Rape Drugs. Strangulation. Restraints. Mental Institutions. PTSD. Childhood trauma. Psychological Trauma. Implied references to child abuse. Minors DNI.

Word Count: 6.6k (and I thought the last one was long)

AO3

Chapter 8

Two weeks have gone by since Indio and you turn inward, boxing up your feelings with a neat bow to return to status quo but you’re sure Prentiss wasn’t buying it. Thankfully, she was too busy with section chief duties to really bother you. Instead, you branch out and integrate further with the team at work. JJ found out you liked to run and meets you at Quantico a couple of days during the week once the kids were off to school to do it together. She took you around different parts of the campus to better familiarize the area. You and Rossi spend a lot of time talking about the history of profiling and the integration of its use into modern investigation techniques in his office as the two of you knock out paperwork. You also have a spirited conversation on why the Bears suck and where you were when the Cubs won the World Series. You, Tara, and Rebecca finally have a night together which you felt comfortable doing. You went to a nice Italian restaurant, knocked back a bottle of wine, and shared the basics on how you and Rebecca met, played pretend girlfriends as vengeance, and all about the HSC she was curious about.

You almost felt normal. But since you didn’t know what that was, perhaps you were just being human.

You and Brian kept in touch by phone and text since you weren’t needed face to face yet. He reminds you of your upcoming psych check in tomorrow which you send back an eyeroll emoji to express your disinterest but of course you would go. It was mandatory for as long as you said yes to joining the CIA.

Your side project with Penelope was also set up as FlamePit23 came up empty with any identifiable information. She ran an algorithm for most used words, phrases, and idiosyncrasies to assist the team pretend to be this woman. You, on the other hand, convinced Prentiss that it should be you posting as this user when the three of you talked about this in Garcia’s lair.

“It should be me,” you urged. “If this some how works and there’s a meeting, it needs to be a non-BAU related agent since Bailey outed you all at that fucking press conference. You know he’s looking into you if not already since the news of the shipping container broke.”

“Have you done this sorta thing before?” Penelope asks with that curious need that went beyond knowing a skillset. She wanted to know you!

You shake your head back and forth in debate before nodding. “Yeah.”

Her eyes widen and she squeals reading between the lines. “Are you a spy like Emily?!”

You lean back with a huff. “I can neither confirm nor deny this.”

“Oh my god! You’re a spy!” She points at you with excitement and then claps.

“I’m not not saying I’m a spy …”

Emily holds her hands up to stop the back and forth. “Regardless of how Whitlock came to possess these abilities, I’m authorizing her to make contact. But,” she looks sternly at the two of you, “you do this together and inform me the minute Sicarius takes the bait. Understood?”

“Yes Ma-!” Garcia was starting to say but the glare from Prentiss forced her to clamp her mouth shut.

You didn’t care. “Yes, Ma’am.”

And you so loved how Prentiss’ glare turned into a flustered eyeroll. Penelope noticed too.

There was also the case of Penelope blabbing out about your military training that piqued Luke’s interest since he was a former Army Ranger. Since there is downtime, he offers a chance to cut loose with you and spar instead of just beating on the heavy bag. With how you’re feeling, this was exactly what you needed. Not the psychiatrist. Good old fashion physical exertion with an opponent.

What you didn’t realize as you were getting ready in the locker room, is that the entire team, sans Prentiss, are going to be spectators … and there were bets. They knew Luke’s background and since yours was up in the air with how much military training you had coupled with what you learned from the CIA as a special agent, there was debate on who had the edge. Odds were 3/2 in Luke’s favor, but the team was split. JJ and Rossi bet on Luke and Penelope and Tara on you.

The four of them put out folding chairs at a safe distance from the blue sparring mat in a semi-circle, though JJ has her turned around to sit backwards on it for her own awkward comfort. There were other agents using the bags and practicing maneuvers scattered about the rest of the room, uncaring what the BAU was up to. Luke was first to arrive from the locker room with the appropriate red headgear and MMA boxing gloves, a black tank and shorts. You both decided on bare feet. He pats his chest and looks to JJ as she starts whooping. Rossi was amused.

Penelope was animatedly giving the double thumbs down as Tara booed. “You’re going down, Alvez! Whitlock’s gonna kick your ass!”

“Bullshit! My boy’s gonna drop her in five!” jeers JJ.

“Booooooo! A pox upon Alvez!” Penelope fires back.

“What in the hell’s going on here?” Prentiss’s voice carries over the trash talk. “I go looking for my team to check on deadlines and you’re all nowhere to be found. I only had this clue.”

She holds up a hot pink stinky note with the elegant scrawl of Penelope’s that said:

GYM AT 1200 MY LOVELIES

It was signed with a heart.

“Well,” she stood there with no answer and thrusts the note further, curling her other arm around her stomach. “Would someone like to explain why you’re all not at your desks working and Luke’s dressed like that?”

“Ah, just having some fun, Prentiss,” says Luke, knocking his gloves together. “Blowing off some steam.”

“And to be fair, you weren’t around to give a heads up,” explains Tara.

“You weren’t in your office,” says Rossi with a shrug. “We did look.”

“You all have access to my calendar to know where I’m at,” she shoots back while crumpling the sticky note, making Penelope pout. “Seriously. You all have better things to do-“

“Better things like what?” you ask, having joined the group after silently watching Prentiss berate the team. You watch as she turns around, her disappointing eyes switch immediately to surprise.

Like Luke, you wore the same red headgear and gloves but had your hair tied back in a ponytail. You also play with the mouthguard dangling from between your teeth as brown eyes look you up and down. You wore a blue sports bra and matching cross training shorts that showed off your lean, muscular build. The section chief never had a chance to see what was under all that clothing, unlike JJ who you ran with.

Rossi smirks and makes an educated announcement. “I think Emily’s in.”

“I, uh …” She has to tear her eyes away and looks at the expectant group. “Fine.”

You wonder why she gave in so quickly but shrug it off. “Hold on.”

Realizing Prentiss didn’t have a seat, you jog over to get another chair and set it up for her. Tara and Penelope raise a brow towards one another with interest. JJ commends the chivalry. “How nice of her to treat the boss right.”

“Oh, just shut it, Jareau.” But there wasn’t any bite in the words as she sat down and crossed her arms.

She ends up by Penelope who rocks side to side on her chair in thought before leaning towards Emily. “So, are you in on the betting since you’re all interested in the fight now?”

Penelope’s way of saying she was well aware of how quickly Emily’s tune changed after seeing Whitlock in different clothes without actually saying it. At least she wasn’t poking fun of her for it … yet.

Oh, what the hell, she thinks and nods. “What’re the odds?”

“3 to 2 favoring Luke. Me and Tara are on team cutie. Rossi and JJ are with Luke.”

Prentiss watches you and Luke discuss the terms of the fight. He had a height advantage and Ranger training, but you had similar training too. She had her suspicions that special forces were in charge of your training considering your secretive background. You clearly put forth effort into keeping in shape due to the demands of being a CIA operative, much to her wandering eyes delight. And since you were not not a spy, she was certain you had more in your bag of tricks than even those betting in your favor knew.

“Put me down for Whitlock,” she says without tearing her eyes away from you.

Penelope has to fight so hard that it wasn’t the only thing that Emily wants to go down on with Whitlock, but she behaves! She deserves a medal for that even though she should say it because Emily crumpled the cute note she wrote the team!

You and Luke tap gloves and both take three feet backwards to provide enough room to start. He put himself in a standard krav maga stance, relaxing his posture with a foot forward and his hands before him with his fingers spread out.

You just stood there, studying him, with your chin tucked down and standing similar to Luke. You were defensive without him easily reading you, which is what you want. You had been strenuously trained how to take down men like him in the field, and not just by military means alone. This would not be a flashy fight, but a fight to end quickly and decisively.

When you lock eyes you both nod as the agreed upon way to start the fight, and it begins.

Luke opens up offensively with straight punches that you anticipated. You duck down and back sweep Luke off his feet.

Rossi blinks in disbelief at what just happened in a few seconds. JJ looks the same but was able to verbalize what they both saw. “Holy crap!”

“She went all Karate Kid on him!” cheers Penelope but then has to admonish you playfully in the next breath. “But do not put him in a body bag! You are not Johnny Lawrence!”

Your brain was aware of the audience but as they were not a threat, it was background noise. The focus was Luke rolling off his back to stand up, which you allow. Now he knows you’re quick and would adjust his strategy, as would you. He lunges forward with an arm as a feint, but the true attack comes when he raises his dominant leg to kick into your side. You strike your forearm down for the block and with a focused yell, you thrust your palm forward and connect against Luke’s chest. You hear him wheeze at the sudden loss of air you force out of him as he goes down.

“What sort of training did you say she had again, Pen?” asks Tara. “Not that I’m upset that we’re winning so far, but this is pretty intense.”

“Just military.” She shrugs. “Nothing specific.”

“Looks like a bit of Marine training, maybe,” Rossi says offhandedly, but he wasn’t entirely convinced. Having served himself, he could see traces of the training he had but he could also tell you were drawing off other techniques in those few moves.

Prentiss wasn’t so sure that the military training you shared was what you were relying on either. You were anticipating Luke far too easily which indicated a more stringent martial arts training like Muay Thai or Jeet Kune Do. You were extraordinary to watch in these few moments with how you took command of the fight. You were stunning.

“Luke!” JJ shouts. “Stop falling on your ass and do something!”

His answer is a cough as you put more distance between him, allowing him a chance to get up. This is not how you would normally be out in the field, but this was a friendly fight and would give him one more chance. You watch as he puts an elbow to the mat to swing his body around and get to his feet. He sees you standing at attention, studying him.

“Okay …” he starts to say before taking several deep breaths while rubbing his chest. “That hurt.”

You remain impassive as you visualize dozens of scenarios that Luke could take. As he starts to come at you again, you block his punches with forearms, moving him around the mat with quick feet. You set him up how you want and fire back with two punches and a hook that he blocks but he misses how your heel turns at him, setting Luke up for a spin kick that connects right in his gut. Your feint works.

“Luke get up!” Which JJ does herself. She hopes that her voice will give him some strength to turn this fight around. Rossi is left shaking his head in amazement.

“Holy shit, girl!” Tara howls while clapping.

“She hasn’t won yet!” reminds Penelope.

“Eh, she will.” Emily points to you as you rush to the ground to hook one of Luke’s arms under yours and his head under the other. “Luke fell into her trap. She was playing him the whole time.”

With a firm grip of his tank, you tuck your head against his shoulder and plant your legs wide to counter any leverage he may have.

Luke struggles to find any give to overpower you. He tries to push up with his legs but is unable to flip over. Next, he tries moving his shoulders but with how you are able to control his upper torso, there was no momentum to even start. He grunts and pants, trying in vain to get off his back or get his legs around you, but your head was safely tucked in against his shoulder from any advantage he could find. As a last resort, he flails his arms to try and get a grip on anything, but your head was just out of reach as intended.

Rossi sighs, throwing his hands up. “I think we’re gonna have to call it.”

JJ sits down with a strangling groan as Penelope rises to her feet and applauds, cheering your name. “I knew you’d win!”

With controlling breaths, you confirm the victory with Luke. “You yield?”

He strains against your hold one last time before going limp. “Yes!”

And just like that, you untangle your arms free from him and hop up to stand. He looks up at you while catching his breath, arms flopping over his body to work out the tension your hold causes. “What the fuck, Whitlock...” His chuckle betrays his amusement despite his words sounding vicious. “I never had a chance, did I?”

“Kinda the idea to be underestimated.” You grin, offering a hand to help him to his feet. “Maybe you’ll have better luck next time.”

“Oh, you know it! Now I know what to expect.” He laughs, patting you on the back before you half hug each other with respect.

As Rossi and JJ were taking out money to settle the bet with Garcia, Tara and Emily were heading over to you. Tara playfully pushes your shoulder with a big smile. “That was impressive.”

You shrug and start feeling self-conscious. Prior to the CIA you would have bragged about your win and talked trash at Luke at how easily you won, but you have learned humility. “Thank you.”

Prentiss is surprised by the lack of bravado and found it quite interesting. This was a perfect time for playfully belittling Alvez losing after a commanding victory. But no. You were displaying genuine gratitude for showcasing your abilities.

You blush and bring up a gloved hand, bringing your index finger and thumb together. “Maybe a wee bit.”

One thing’s for sure, you can handle yourself in the field far better than I initially thought, she muses. “You had a lot more than military training.”

“Luke’s on to something, though,” she says, and you quirk a brow in question. “Think you can find time and pass some of this knowledge down to the team?”

“Uh …” you start rubbing the back of your neck at the unspoken compliment from Prentiss. It took you off guard and have to force your eyes to tear away from the intensely expecting brown ones that were fixed on you. You look around at the team and gently nod. “Sure. I, uh, I can do that.”

“Ladies!” Everyone’s attention was on Garcia now. “We have enough money to cover girls’ night tomorrow thanks to our CIA cutie de-mol-li-shing Lukey there!”

JJ comes up and punches her partner in the arm which makes him yelp. “Lucky I get drinks outta this but you!” She points at you. “You, me and darts.”

Prentiss smiles at the challenge. “My money’s on JJ then.”

You look quickly at Prentiss as you need to clarify something since the section chief hasn’t been acting like a sore loser. “Does that mean you bet on me?”

“I did,” she confirms with a nod. She knew who was going to win the moment you stepped into view, and it wasn’t just because she was caught off guard by how attractive you were. “I know a winner when I see one.”

“And this winner is finally going to go out with us!” Penelope joins the group flashing the wad of bills in the air in front of your face. “You flaked out last time.” Your eyes start to widen with apology, and she juts her lower jaw out petulantly. “No! You can’t bail on us again!”

“I’m sorry. I got CIA shit I need to deal with again,” The lie easily rolls off your tongue and the team accepts it. The only difference is that Prentiss was here this time when you said it and she was not convinced. She kept her poker face as you continue. “Full time consultant for the FBI still needs to go home and take care of things.”

“You’ve got to be kidding! You won us mad money to blow at the bar! You deserve to partake.” Tara says, trying to stroke your ego and win you over.

You half grin and shake your head no. “I’m really sorry. But hey! Think about it this way, there’s more food and drinks for all of you.” It was difficult for the BAU ladies to be upset with you for too long with that point. “I’ll even throw in another fifty as compensation for my absence.”

“Deal!” JJ swoops in to answer so fast to seal the deal.

“Good, now, I’m off to shower.” You look cheekily at Prentiss. “Think our boss might want us back working soon.”

“Astute observation, Whitlock. Fun’s over. Back to work. Except for you, Alvez.” She waves him off with a cringe. “You smell.”

The group laughs and he looks hurt. “What? And she doesn’t?”

Prentiss takes a hard look at you, and you fight a tremble that wants to erupt under her examination. Your skin was barely flushed with exertion, hair unkempt and loosened from the fight. There was just a small perceptible sheen of perspiration on your body or clothing, unlike Luke who had to work hard at trying to get at you or escape your hold. “Not that I can tell.”

Rossi whistles. “Take a hint, Luke, and go before you put the other foot in your mouth.”

Back at Langley, Brian was in his office between meetings working on getting his five recruits together for the holidays that were quickly approaching. It was going to be tricky as the other four were on various assignments around the world for the CIA just like you before Wilson roped you onto the BAU. He had to start pulling strings now and organize the right moves to get everyone stateside that would not compromise mission integrity. The other four recruits were not deep into a long-term op as you were so it would be easier, but not guaranteed. If he could pull it off, he knew it would make everyone happy, especially you and his wife. He started to think about this since mentioning it last month with you and instead of waiting until after your BAU assignment, he was trying to make it an earlier surprise.

Barton: Hey, I know you said not to bother you but there’s an Emily Prentiss from the FBI on the phone that wants to talk to you.

Eliza Barton was his executive assistant, and she knew that if Whitlock’s new boss wanted to talk, that she could inform Brian as she did just now over chat. Of course, he had to wonder what you did to prompt this call.

Korogoth: Go ahead and transfer the call.

His phone immediately rings and picks up. “I’m actually surprised it took you this long to call me. So … “ he leans back in his chair, “what did she do?”

“I’m sorry?” He heard Prentiss’ confusion.

“Whitlock. What did she do to prompt this phone call?” he clarifies.

“Oh. Nothing. She’s been a great addition to the BAU.”

That caught him by surprise, He wasn’t able to formulate a response because when people called him about you, it was due to your rough around the edge’s smartass remarks or skirting around orders that were still within bounds but questionable. Hearing a compliment was unexpected. Nice, but unexpected.

“That’s wonderful to hear. I’m pleased she’s acclimating herself to your team. Which makes me wonder what I can do for you.” The only other potential issue he could surmise was the stipend, but the money was easily allocated to the BAU budget. There were no issues with finance that he was aware of.

“The team and I want to know if you can reschedule her CIA commitments this weekend so she can join us for some socialization. Obviously matters of national security we understand.”

He had to think really hard what CIA commitments you had which ended up being none. “I’m sorry. I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

There was a pause before Prentiss spoke up again. “She said last weekend and this she couldn’t come out to girls’ night because she’s unable to take care of all of her CIA duties being a full-time consultant.”

He rolls his head back in understanding. You were lying to the BAU because you didn’t want to hurt their feelings and used your non-existent CIA duties as a cover because no one would be able to verify it. You just didn’t know how tenacious Prentiss was when she put her mind to a task and clearly the section chief wanted you there with the team. It actually warmed his heart that the team took to you in this way and were disappointed you couldn’t be with them like this. And here he was worried that your gruff, humorous demeanor would rub your teammates the wrong way and cause friction as it had done with teams in the past. Which it did in the beginning, but Brian wasn’t aware of your fight with Prentiss yet.

“I think there’s been some mistake. She doesn’t have anything going on that requires her attention.” Yes, he was going to throw you under the bus and force you to be social. And yes, he warned you to be careful since you hadn’t been integrated into these situations in a long time, but this might do you some good as long as you kept the majority of your history quiet.

“None?” Prentiss sounded confused.

“Yeah, none. Her only obligation is to the BAU.”

“Huh. Interesting.”

He smiles against the receiver knowing that her mind was already working out a solution to your behavior. “Yeah. That’s one way of putting it.”

“Well, I won’t take up anymore of your time.”

“Nonsense. You can call me anytime regarding Whitlock if need be.”

“I appreciate that. Though that doesn’t surprise me.”

He furrows his brow. “Why’s that?”

“Oh, she let me know you recruited her.”

His chest tightened with surprise. You barely tell anyone that unless it was with good reason. What reason did you have to tell Prentiss this? “She did?”

“Yeah. She couldn’t go into the details, but it came up during an off the clock meeting.”

Since when did you have off-the-clock meetings? Brian was baffled by this odd course of events. “Well, she must trust you to offer that up. And considering we worked together once upon a time, Whitlock’s on target with that.”

“Isn’t that nice of you to say. But I do need to be going now. Too much work and not enough time to do it.”

He chuckles. “Same here. Oh, but before you go?”

“Yes?”

“It was complete bullshit that Bailey got the job, and you didn’t.” When he learned that Douglas Bailey was tapped to take the deputy director’s role instead of Prentiss who made the short list, he was furious. He had to do his own reorganization of the CIA executive roles, but he put qualified candidates in place when the org chart was settled and not some bureaucratic tools of upper management that cared only for budget cuts, dissolving departments, and a whole lot of ass kicking. Yeah, there was a new normal after the pandemic but there were ways to be efficient without favoritism.

There was a lengthy pause on the other end, but Brian was patient enough to wait it out.

“Thanks, Brian. That means a lot.” Another pause. “Actually, before we hang up, can I ask a favor?”

Friday night came and you are curled up on the couch reading Nona the Ninth with Metallica blasting through the surround sound at the safehouse. The condo was located in the Penn Quarter, one of many units in the seven-story complex. The unit you are occupying is available on loan to CIA agents that were displaced and needed short-term lodgings. This was never used for CIs* or anyone under arrest due to the high foot traffic in the area. Operatives had ample places to eat whether they were allowed to roam about or ordered delivery only. Public transportation was easily accessible to go anywhere in the DC area.

The condo was modern in design with white walls, hardwood floors and track lighting shaped in a V overhead. There were white chairs and a glass table close to the kitchen but left enough area open to walk through. The couch matched the design of the chairs with comfortable throw pillows, one that was cradling your head against the couch arm. A large screen TV was mounted on the wall to the left of the patio doors that led to a cramped balcony, but the view of the gardens below was spectacular. Generic pictures and fake plants rounded out the area to attempt hominess.

Living here for the last month has been nice but you didn’t commit to making it your own yet as you were still trying to come to terms with being in one place for an extended period of time in the states. As you are winding down from the day at Quantico, you treat yourself to a tumbler of Moscato. There are wine glasses, but you are not picky about what glass you use, just what is in easy reach. It is the perfect evening that you’re comfortable with … until there was a knock at the door.

You put the book down against your stomach with a concerning face. There was nothing on your agenda tonight so no one from the CIA should be here. Everything had to go through Brian for approval to set up a meeting here and if it was him stopping by, he would have texted you.

So, what the fuck?

You swing your legs off the couch to sit up, setting the book on the oval glass coffee table. You pad over barefoot to the open kitchen and grab your Glock that is holstered on the brown speckled quartz countertop. You pull it free and remove the safety, leaving the holster behind as you approach the foyer when another knock occurs. With your gun pointed parallel to the door, you lean forward to look through the peephole and see … Emily Prentiss?

What is she doing here and how the fuck did she find you?

You unlock the door and slowly open it unable to smooth your features away to look any less confused. Emily was dressed casually in two-inch flat-heeled boots, jeans, a red blouse that you couldn’t help noticing it accentuated her chest and had the usual long coat on. Your brain was finding this hard to comprehend right now that Emily Prentiss was standing at your door.

She returns the favor and studies you as the music shuffles to the next song - Training Season by Dua Lipa. You had positioned yourself in a defensive stance by the door, ready to bring your gun arm around if needed. Brown eyes enjoy the view as you had pajama shorts on and a black CIA tee which spoke of all the work you were supposedly doing with the agency – which was none.  She locks eyes with yours with a self-satisfied smile.

I need someone to hold me close, deeper than I've ever known

Whose love feels like a rodeo, knows just how to take control

When I'm vulnerable, he's straight-talking to my soul

Conversation overload, got me feeling vertigo*

She breaks the silence. “Busy working, huh?”

You scramble for an excuse, totally out of your element and comfort to be your cocky sure self. “I …Hey!” But that didn’t stop Prentiss from inviting herself in. “The hell, Prentiss!”

She strides through the foyer with hands in her coat pocket as you put the safety on your gun on the way to the kitchen. “Please, come on in!” you say venomously and place your gun back on the counter. You did not appreciate her behavior at all.

You could tell she was taking it all in to figure you out, but there was nothing of note to process as you still hadn’t brought your items in from storage. Everything was all chosen by the CIA as Emily soon surmised.

“Why did you lie?” she asks, eyes going to the tumbler and book on the coffee table. The only signs of you.

“Oh, no. You, first. How the fuck did you find me?” How dare she, how dare the BAU, break into parts of the CIA to find out where the hell she was. Penelope wasn’t doing that anymore!

She turns around and with one word shatters your anger into anxiety. “Korogoth.”

Why would Brian give up your location without your knowledge? That wasn’t the protocol you put in place. Unless … unless he fucking knew you’d run off and avoid a confrontation with Prentiss and come straight to him asking to be moved. Which really would only delay the inevitable conversation that you were going to have right now. You were well aware of the irony that you wanted to be included with the team at work but socially was fucking scaring you shitless. It always scared you shitless, which is why you’ve kept any personal involvement at work. Meeting Tara for dinner with Rebecca was different. It was a small intimate gathering and you would have done that with anyone that she was dating.

You once again stand before Prentiss with no retort because clearly your father figure wanted this to happen. As that shut you down, Emily continues. “So, why did you lie?”

You work your jaw and cross your arms, refusing to answer.

With a small tilt of her head, Emily nods. “Alright, you don’t have to tell me, but you’re going out with us.”

Your heart clenches as your eyes widen. “What? No!”

“You’re disappointing everyone,” she says, and you realize that meant her too. Because if she wanted to separate her feelings, she would have said the team.

“Won’t be the first time,” you point out petulantly.

Emily’s brown eyes squint. “And it won’t be now. You’re part of the team and the team’s going out.” With that declaration, she’s off to your bedroom.

“Hey!” You call out and stalk after her, but she already turned the corner.

By the time you made it into the main bedroom, Prentiss already opened the doors to your closet and was rifling through your minimal ensembles. “Geesh, Whitlock. You’re not giving me much to work with.”

“That’s fine because I think I made it clear I wasn’t going out,” you affirm before sitting on the queen size bed.

The bedroom was white and had hardwood floors like the rest of the condo, filled with basic modern furniture and pictures. Your personal duffel was stuffed under the bed that contained pieces of you and remained hidden. Nothing of importance was in the closet or in plain sight.

“And I think I made it clear you’re coming,” she says pulling out a pair of jeans to toss at you.

You set it aside with a huff. “This is ridiculous.”

“So’s hiding. Oh, this works.” Prentiss had to reach far inside to the back of the rack and finds a dark grey long-sleeved V-neck crisscrossed ribbed fitted top. She turns while taking it off the hanger and tosses it at you. “Get dressed.”

You look up at her with a scowl as you set aside the blouse. “Whatever you think’s gonna happen, regardless if Brian approves, it’s not.”

“Then tell me why not,” she presses and when you don’t respond, Emily comes to sit next to you on the bed. “I can’t help if you don’t tell me what it is you’re scared of. And I swear to god if you cite it’s classified, I’m going to bury you in so much paperwork that you’ll think your first three days with me was a vacation.”

Fuck, you couldn’t help laughing at that. “Well shit. Can’t have that.”

You look to Prentiss and realize that the two of you are almost brushing shoulders with how close you are, but what really caught your attention was the sincerity in her eyes. She was pushing this because she cared. Emily said it herself; you are part of the team, and she cares deeply for the team. This was quite the shift since those tenuous first days when you were seen as a threat.

She saw you as a member of the team. It was a bit of a mind fuck to wrap your head around that truth.

You think back to the last time someone took this much interest in your well-being and you had one answer. Brian Korogoth saving your ass at twelve years old and that was a long fucking time ago for someone to give a shit about you that wasn’t just in the best interest of your country or as a CIA asset. Your three brothers and sister were thrusted together under similar circumstances and became a found family because you needed each other to succeed with Brian being the strong, caring hand that guided you all to be better people.

Prentiss didn’t have to do shit and went above and beyond to track your ass down just for a social night with the team. There was nothing in it for her except for your well-being.

You lower your head and stare blankly at your lap because your eyes threatened to tear up with a surge of affection that came over you. “You may find this shocking, but I really suck at being part of a group.”

She leans forward a little to try and catch your gaze, but you wouldn’t look up. “I don’t find that surprising at all.”

Your brow furrows and in one blink, are side eyeing her. “Why?”

Prentiss fans her hands out as she speaks. “Well, you being a not not spy comes with a lot of loneliness and awkwardness. You get wrapped up in everything that you’re supposed to be and forget what it means to be you.”

Oh, if Emily only knew it went far deeper than that, though she wasn’t entirely wrong. She understood the pressure of undercover assignments where you never knew if a subtle fuck up would mean your death. “Not completely untrue, but not the entire picture either.”

“Fill it in for me. What am I missing?” she urges gently.

You blow out a strong breath between your lips while rubbing the palms of your hands along your bare thighs. You are displaying how vulnerable you are, but you blame Brian for putting you in this position. “What did he tell you. Brian.”

“Where you live an-.”

Your only focus is what she said first. “No one is supposed to know where I am. So, why’d he tell you?”

She purses her lips and shrugs. “Because I presented an important case.”

“Which was?” you ask warily.

“That you needed to take better care of yourself.”

Fuck it all, that’s what Brian wants too.

Great.

“Helps that I can flex my section chief credentials to get clearance,” she adds casually which made you blanch.

You look at her in a panic and had to stop from grabbing her shoulders to shake the truth from her. “What does that mean exactly?”

Prentiss straightens her posture and was about to intercept your hands but settles back onto the bed, seeing the unbridled panic in your eyes. “Hey,” she says your name soothingly, “just on the list to know where you live. Nothing more. I wouldn’t go behind your back like that. Neither would Korogoth.”

Your shaky breathing slowly calms, and your hands find a place in your lap and behind where Prentiss was sitting. “Oh, okay. Yeah.”

She looks at you curiously. “Is this about what happened with the AWOL situation?”

You laugh humorlessly. “If only.”

That made her brows raise with some concern. “There’s more?”

You shake your head. “No, nothing like that.” Then wince. “Not exactly. It’s… fuck …” You bring your hands up to rub your face and grumble. “Uhrr!”

“Okay, I get it,” Prentiss backs off knowing that the burgeoning trust that is going on between you was about to snap. “Don’t need to answer, but please let me tell you that Korogoth also confirmed what you told me a few weeks ago.”

You managed to peek through your fingers with one eye.

“He confirmed everything you said without my asking for it. And that your stipend isn’t from the AWOL mess. That you earned it as a long standing, and decorated, agent of the CIA.” she assures. “Since he cleared me enough to get your address, he wanted to make sure I knew how incredible of an agent you are despite the whole ….” She brings her hands up and gestures wildly, “… mystery surrounding you. But to be fair? I’m well aware of it now too.”

You bring your hands down. “He said that, huh?”

“Mhm.”

“And you really think that of me?”

“Wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

“Huh. Okay.” You nod, making a decision.

“Okay?” she slowly rests her arms on her legs, waiting for clarification.

“Yeah,” you give her a timid smile. “I’ll go.”

Emily’s grin spreads brightly across her face as she reaches for your arm. “Great. I’ll let the girls know.”

“No, don’t,” you say, stopping her from reaching for her phone. The accidental brush of your fingers sends a rush of heat through you, and you drop your hand.

“I’m confused. Why not?” she asks, curling her hand away hiding the similar effect it had on her.

You grin. “Let’s surprise them.”

@unkonw00 @ara-a-bird @rayisaknight @sevyscoven @maybe-a-humanbean

Let me know if you would like to be tagged as well. Thank you for reading!

[puzzled-pegasus]

Attention Y'all

I updated my fic Too Close for Comfort on ao3. The fic is about some CSA trauma Leo has from one of his foster homes resurfacing, and most importantly how it affects his friendship/relationship with Jason. I just added a second chapter and wanted to make a post about it in case it's at all interesting to you guys.

There's nothing graphic in it and it is hurt/comfort but obviously it's a heavy topic so just read at your own discretion. I love u and if anything in this fic is relatable ur not alone 🫶🏻

@manygeese

@just-call-mefr1es

@poppitron360

@monarch-of-weird-girlboy-nation

[ppushable]

Fanfic writer interview

tysm for the tag eb! sorry i took so long getting to it. i swear it was screaming at me from the drafts the whole time

How many work do you have on AO3?

4! (but one of them doesn’t really count because it’s a test)

What's your total AO3 word count?

84,177

What are your top 5 stories by kudos/likes?

two ibuprofen - 92 notes

low tide - 44 notes

just us - 26 notes

ofcwbo - i’m not sure but she’s definitely at the bottom

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes i do! i love that people take the time and effort to do this and i want to show my gratitude always. they didnt have to comment but they did. fics are so personal as well imo, seeing what other people have to say about it is. i’m not sure how to describe it but it makes me want to yell into a pillow.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

ofcwbo will have the edgiest ending, but since i haven’t actually finished any of my (posted) fics other than just us, it has to take the title by default. (it does have a very angsty ending though. and an angsty beginning and middle)

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

using the above logic, just us by default….? (it would be anything in the rose tinted hours collection (that being two ibu or low tide (for now (👁️)) because that’s my happiness and i shall keep angst away from it with a 10 km pole)

Do you write crossovers?

nope

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

nope! if that happens i’ll wither and die

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

no

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

oh dear god. my origin story

back in my reddit phase (i was like 13? leave me alone) i made art for a fandom which mustn’t be named and met another person there. we became friends (stranger danger, i know, i’m smarter now) and somehow we started writing fic. it went pretty well, they would make most of the plot and the chapter outline and i would go in and edit it to make it make sense. we had a good run, all things considered. we then moved on to another fandom (read: they dragged me into another fandom) and we wrote for that one as well, except this time i got the opportunity to write my own chapters with my own ocs. that’s when i started realizing how nice and cool this was.

if youre seeing this, J, hi.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

jean and i. alternatively, me and jean (YEAH FOR SELFSHIP DELULU I LOVE BEING INSANE)

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

i don’t have such weaknesses. i WILL finish all my wips.

(ofcwbo. it’s going to drag on forever. deep inside a part of me wants to be realistic and say that it’s a little unrealistic for me to actually get down everything i wanted in a way that satisfies me. maybe i dont even WANT to finish it, because the fic has been such a comfort in the back of my mind for so long that the idea of it suddenly. terminating. is terrifying. maybe i’m overthinking it. i just dont want that world in my head to die, whether that be by fading away quietly or suddenly coming to an end.)

What are your writing strengths?

toughie. i think my descriptions are solid, as well as getting into the mc’s head (but that can just be attributed to the first person pov thing aha).

What are your writing weaknesses?

planning whatever i’m trying to write - i dont control it, it infects my brain and hands and forges its own way. i’m also not a huge fan of proofreading (this mostly applies to the earlier chapters of ofcwbo (i get embarrassed)). i also have a tendency to repeat a certain phrase or metaphor in a fic without realizing it. sequences of actions are hard to write too.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i try not to do it too much because it can be confusing and having to translate/provide a translation can break the flow. but i do like adding in little phrases sometimes based on my hcs for what languages the characters speak

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

i’m not sure i have one. i’m deep in the bowels of jean/reader purgatory and i don’t see a way out

What's your favorite fic you've written?

just us. <3

@firefly--bright no pressure (yes pressure)

Fanfic writer interview

Thank you @thelettersfromnoone for the tag!! 💖

How many work do u have on AO3?

3, not your local AO3 girlie lmao

What's your total AO3 word count?

8 534

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes

I'll go with Tumblr ones, cause from my 3 AO3 works the biggest number I got is 31 lmao

Anyone but you (Legolas x f!reader)

Night watch (Legolas x Reader)

Well-deserved rest (Haldir x f!Reader)

One messy night (Boromir x f!Reader)

Transition (Haldir x f!Reader)

Honorable mention (since it's not fics but headcanons)

Green Council receiving a hot pic from you (HotD)

TLK men's reaction on being pet named

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to respond to comments! These little things are brightening up my day, so I wanna let the people know that they are my heroes hahaha

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I really think it's Transition. All in all it's a pretty dark story, a bit depressing I think (I had these intentions while writing at least).

Otherwise, I don't think I have angsty endings fics?

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

New family members for sure!! Was thinking hard what to choose, cause I think all of my happy ending fics are on the pretty same level on a happy scale, but I remember that I have this gen, non romantic baby and I love it so much ❤️‍🩹 There's a little TLK OMC for y'all

Do you write crossovers?

I wanted to say I've never done this BUT THEN!!! My Assassin's Creed (Ezio) x LOTR little headcanon!!! My beloved child!!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, not that I remember getting any hate on my fics

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, tho not much and on rare occasions. I used to write a lot of smut when I was younger (a teen), then I stopped being comfortable with it for a wild few years (tho reading never made me uncomfortable lmao).

Now I started writing smut again, idk what kind? Don't really understand what does that mean lol F x M traditional sex? Pretty detailed? If so, then yes lmao

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't know 😂 Maybe, maybe not. I think rather not.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge, I don't think so.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

We tried with my friend a long long time ago. Didn't go well lmao It's hard and kinda stressing, cause you never know what the other person is gonna write (at least we had this SURPRISE system), so... You kinda have zero plot cause everything you want to write plot-wise can be ruined by the second person's plot lmao

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Athelnar?? Athelstan and Ragnar were my first ever OTP (quickly followed by Alfred and Uhtred). You could never beat that Athelnar shit out of my body lmao I've never written for them, but oh I do love them boys!

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Now, that's the HARSH one lmao

I think I have at least 3 OC stories that I really wanna write (2 for TLK and one for LOTR), but I'm scared that I will never actually do it. I never was good with multi chaptered stories, and these are indeed not a one shots 🥲

What are your writing strengths?

Ugh... I don't know? I think I was pretty good with dialogues and descriptions of the surroundings to build the atmosphere. But... I guess it's not for me to decide but for the readers?

What are your writing weaknesses?

I rarely finish what I've started lmao I should write everything in one go or else I'll never finish it... Or will finish it in two months even if it's a 2k words one shot

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love them! I've only done it with my LOTR fics (with Sindarin) but I really love it. But I really love it when the language is different from the language of the settings? Like, if the story is happening in England and everyone is English, but you have two characters who can speak idk Dutch, let them have a Dutch language in their dialogue. I had a rant post about it not that long ago actually lmao You have to think about your in-universe language

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Ahhh Bungou Stray Dogs! I love them, and I'd gladly try to write something for them. Not a character/character but reader my beloved.

And maybe Stephane Narcisse (reign) my beloved and a reader

What's your favorite fic you've written?

The blood on my hands (Eomer) and Peace (Finan) are definitely my fave ones I think. They are dark and both explore some trauma

No pressure tags: @whitedarkmoonflower @lord-aldhelm @holy3cake @gemini-mama @emilyhufflepufftlk @persephones-journey @solinarimoon @mrsalwayswrite @emmanuellececchi @bilbotargaryen @levithestripper @mrsarnasdelicious @paula-in-dreamland

[youchangedmedestiel]

Friend: What are you doing right now?

Me: I have a lot of projects.

Friend: Oh so cool, what are those? New job, new business, new home, new relationship?

Me: Ok, I have a lot of SPN/Destiel projects.

[corviiids]

woke up this morning and my immediate first half-asleep thought was "could i post an academic paper on ao3"

[septimusmoonlight]

You doing ok?

hi

[m0e-ru]

employee of the month streak

[teleport-warning]

Day 2: Rebirth

[discount-kirishima]

Satosugu hanahaki AU — this is my first time posting a fic!!!

Pairing: Getou Suguru/Gojo Satoru Rating: Teen and Up Words: 10.5k Summary: He's been aching for so long he doesn't know how he's still standing. All he wants is to turn around and press his forehead to Satoru’s and say the words he won't even allow himself to think. He wants to reach out and ask Satoru to climb under his skin and live there so they never have to be apart.

[wrencatte]

mini fic 8 ! Fallen Order - Bogano First Visit - Cal & Greez & Cere Cal likes to sleep in...interesting places. Greez POV - 1.6k words

ao3 minific link - chapter 7 (beard)

Cal comes back from exploring more of Bogano limping, but in good spirits. Giddy, even!

Greez would almost be suspicious of it, not quite trusting the kid still, if it weren’t for how…young he looks with his cheeks flushed and his hair wild, holding an animated conversation with that droid that’s apparently sticking around. It takes years off him. Makes him look his age and like he wasn’t – like he wasn’t part of what was a genocide of his people.

Oh…great. Now Greez is sad just from looking at him.

He goes back to focusing on sprucing up the Mantis, determined to ignore his growing fondness for a kid who could scrap his ship for credits in a heartbeat. Scrappy describes the kid in more ways than one and Greez is not getting attached, stop. But he is. Because Cal is serious and jaded, but he also listens to Greez when he talks about the upgrades he’s done to the Mantis, asking intelligent questions and actually interested in the answer. He loves all food, never picky even when Cere’s nose wrinkles just a bit. When he laughs, it sounds like he means it despite all the terrible things he’s gone through. And – he’s just a kid. How could Greez dislike a kid who’s gone through such hardships and yet is still trying to do some good in galaxy?

He wonders vaguely if that’s a Jedi thing or a Cal Kestis thing – and decides maybe it’s a little bit of both. Cere’s a good person too. He can see the similarities in the two of them, raised on the same values and lessons, just trying their best in a galaxy that hates them.

Greez is so good at ignoring his own feelings and everything around him that an hour passes before he realizes…Cal isn’t hanging around anymore. The latero briefly considers being worried, but then dismisses the thought. He’s probably back out exploring Bogano. Sometimes the kid disappears for the entire day, gone before the sun rises and not back until it’s well below the horizon. How he can find so much to explore in this backwater swamp, he has no idea, but he’s not about to go out investigating himself.

Satisfied with that logic, it’s back to buffing out the blaster marks off the Mantis’ exterior. Hm, maybe a new paint job? Cal found something out in one of the workshops, didn’t he? Presented it with a grin and a twinkle in his eyes, laughing when Greez opened it and found an eye-watering pink inside. Pink is a little too distinctive, but Cal handed over another tin of an understated swamp green Greez actually likes. Maybe he’ll tag the kid to help.

He’s distracted by his thoughts by a flash of red-white out of the corner of his eye – BD-1, wandering around and scanning insects that he’s probably scanned a dozen times before.

….with no ginger-haired Jedi in tow.

Great.

Where BD is, Cal should also be. It’s a new rule of the galaxy. Never one without the other. The last time that happened, turns out Cal got tangled up in some rope and was hanging over a drop so high Greez couldn’t see the ground.

“Where is he?” he asks the little droid. He gets a simple beep in response which Greez totally understands. Completely. Yeah.

 – Greez stares blankly, not understanding at all. BD does a little head waggle, making a noise that sounds suspiciously like a droid’s version of laughter. That little shit.

“Hey! We can’t all be fluent in fifty billion languages. Give me a break.”

He may be over-estimating that number by a tad, but it’s definitely a high number. The translation matrix in the Mantis isn’t exactly top notch, but it has a pretty decent database and it still glitches when Cal gets worked up and switches to a new language he hadn’t used before.

The question is how does he know so many and the answer gives Greez a headache every time.

He will never understand the Force.

“Just…where is he? If he fell in a hole and broke is leg somewhere Cere’s gonna to kill me.”

Or ran into another, what did he call it? An oggdo? According to Cal, he barely escaped with his life. Still injured from their escape from Bracca and caught by surprise, the kid lost a good chunk of his poncho and had to be hosed down before being let back onto the ship, covered in toad gunk and mud. Now that he’s healed, he’s supposed to be figuring out their next move concerning the Vault, but maybe he’s decided to throw himself into a fight with an oggdo again – and lost, and that’s why BD’s here, looking for help.

BD-1 would be more frantic if that was the case, right?

“Where’s Cal?”

Ah, speak and she shall appear. The galaxy really is just out to get him.

Greez face-palms as he turns to see Cere standing on the Mantis’ ramp, looking a little sleep ruffled but getting more and more awake as her gaze bounces from Greez to BD-1 and never to Cal because Call isn’t here. The fact that she’s stopped long enough to fall asleep, let alone actually slept, is a kriffin’ miracle. She’s been non-stop ever since they picked up Imperial communications of a Jedi on Bracca and said Jedi turned out to be a teenager who decided to immediately pass out from his injuries once they entered hyperspace.

And that was nearly three weeks ago.

“Heeyy, Cere. Have a nice nap?”

She raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “I did, actually. Now, where’s Cal?”

Greez waves a hand. “Oh, you know him. He’s probably getting distracted by some new thing to explore.”

Cere crosses his arms, eyes flickering down to where BD-1 is watching them. “And I’m sure he made a conscious decision to do that without BD-1, didn’t he?”

“Maybe. You never know.” Greez feels oddly defensive, and he wonders if that’s a Jedi Master ability, making him feel like a kid who stole from the sweets jar when it reality it was his brother.

BD bwoops, it almost sounds like he’s laughing, hopping from foot to foot before he takes off, disappearing behind the ship’s ramp quick as a blink. Greez and Cere exchange bewildered looks. All they can do is follow. Where BD is, Cal will also be. And in turn, where Cal is, BD will be there. This they’ve learned – Cere when she nearly tripped over the droid sitting patiently as Cal meditated. Greez when he went to the second level of the Mantis for storage and found BD standing guard as Cal quietly had some sort of panic attack.

Kindred spirits, Cere had called them with a sad sort of smile on her face.

When they make their way under the Mantis – Cere having to duck – what greets them is, quite frankly, an adorable sight.

Cal is curled up in the shadows, poncho pulled tight around him, head cradled on his arm.

Deeply asleep. He’s not even talking like he sometimes does. His expression is relaxed, content even. A few of the brown, bouncing critters that dig burrow – boglings? – are piled up around him like a lump of dozing akk dogs. Ears twitch. Legs kick out as they dream. They’re snoring. These little sounds that Greez will never admit out loud he finds cute. If he listens closely enough, he can hear a deeper snore from beneath the pile – Cal.

BD beeps quietly, a job well done in letting them know where Cal is, then skitters over to the kid, picking carefully around various limbs until he can tuck himself under Cal’s arm and snuggle against his chest like he’s a bogling himself. Cal makes a soft sound and curls around the droid, holding him close.

“Would you look at that,” Cere says softly, expression aching.

Cal sleeping -- actually sleeping without nightmares or pain – is something neither of them are familiar with at all. And who can blame him? Greez can’t imagine that the kid’s been through. He’ll be having nightmares himself for a long while thanks to Bracca.

“Do we leave him here?” Greez asks, torn between wanting him to sleep and cringing at the amount of mud that’s gotta be soaking into his clothes.

BD whirls in quiet warning, daring them to try and wake Cal. Cere laughs, shaking her head.

“Do you want to be the one who wakes him up?” she asks, her tone amused. Greez grimaces. No thank you. “I thought so. It’s better if we let him sleep, especially if he’s sleeping so well. It’ll be easier to connect to the Force if he’s well rested.”

“So, we just…walk away? Leave him alone?” Sleeping outside isn’t exactly his idea of a good time.

“Are you planning on going any further from the ship?”

“Well, no.”

Cere gestures to the boglings that have, surprisingly, not run away yet. A couple are looking at the two of them with wide, wary eyes, but they seem too comfortable to move. “He has plenty of guards. We’re not going anywhere. You’re more than welcomed to hose him down before he boards.”

“Oh. Yeah. Good point.” Greez is absolutely hosing him down. Bogano mud stinks.

They leave him there, sleeping soundly with BD on guard, but they don’t go far. Cere disappears for only a couple minutes before she comes back out with a holonovel, a drink, and a chair, setting up right where she can juusstt see a peek of Cal under the ramp. Greez picks up the buffer again, pauses in thought, then hurries to grab the swamp green paint tin – after a nanosecond of hesitation, he scoops up the pink paint as well.

He’s sure there’s a non-obtrusive thing he can paint pink. Maybe it’ll get that one bright, looks-his-age smile from Cal again.

[moonyspetwolf]

Okay so I’ve seen like 20 videos on tiktok of people saying they have no idea how exy is played so I’m gonna make a post about how I understand the rules. I’m not really an athlete but I know a bit about sports and I also coincidentally went to the same school that PSU is based on

(I haven’t read the books in like 5 years so if I’m wrong about something feel free to correct me)

First thing, exy is played inside, not outside. The game can’t work in an outdoor stadium and I’ll explain why in a minute. The stadium is like a combination basketball court and hockey rink. Wood flooring and plexiglass walls surrounding the court. There are two goals on each end.

Okay so the lineup. From what I remember there’s 4 positions you can play on an exy team: dealer, backliner, striker, and goalie.

Backliner is pretty straightforward just classic defense. They protect the goal and focus on the other team’s strikers. I think it’s similar to basketball where they’re assigned a mark (opposing striker) who they have to cover during the game. That doesn’t mean they’re not free to move or check other strikers either, but basically they try to stop the other team from scoring any goals. I’m not sure if it’s against the rules for them to make an attempt on a goal or not.

Strikers are similarly straightforward. They’re straight offense. Their job is to get as many goals as possible. They work against the opposing team’s backliner and shoot at the goal

The dealer is the most confusing position but I think they basically control possession of the ball, so I think their job is to get the ball from the other team and make sure it gets to their strikers. At the start of the game or after any breaks they’re the ones who deal the ball and try to pass to their teammates. Idk if they operate similar to backliners or not, like checking, tackling, etc.

The goalie is the same as any other sport- their job is to protect the goal. Goalies have special racket that are bigger and heavier than other players. They also wear special padding to protect them since they’re constantly getting exy balls chucked at them and often have to use parts of their body to block them.

(Side note: if exy balls are anything like lacrosse balls they seriously hurt to get hit with. They’re dense and heavy, when they work up enough speed it feels like getting hit by a slightly bouncy cannon ball)

From what I can remember, at any given time there are two backliners, two strikers, one dealer, and one goalie on the court for each team. Players are subbed in and out as needed (I might be remembering the numbers wrong, maybe they have 3 backliners at a time idk)

Exy is a high contact sport similar to lacrosse, so players are free to use physical force against each other. They can check, tackle, and basically do whatever it takes to get the ball. Just like in hockey, players often get into fights. Excessive use of violence can get them flagged by referees, but it’s by no means a gentle sport. Players go into it with the expectation of getting thrown around and bruised.

Players wear padding and helmets to protect themselves, but bruises, sprains, concussions, and broken bones aren’t uncommon within the sport.

There are some basic rules for how the game is played. Exy is kinda like lacrosse in that players pass the ball back and forth with their raquets. I don’t know a lot about all the rules of lacrosse but I know exy has a rule about possession that’s similar to basketball. In basketball a player has to dribble the ball while they’re moving, if they hold it in their hands without dribbling for too many steps it’s called traveling and it’s a foul. Exy is the same, a player can only be in possession of the ball for 10 (?) steps before they have to pass it. If they carry it farther than that it’s traveling (idk if there’s a special term for it in exy speak). There are ways for players to get around this. They can either pass the ball to a teammate after they’ve taken their 10 steps OR they can rebound it off a wall, catch it in their racquet, and keep moving. This is the reason exy has to be played inside and not outside, so that the players can use the walls. If it’s played outside they can’t rebound the ball and they have to rely strictly on passing back and forth, which isn’t always possible especially if a player is being heavily guarded. I’m not positive if this possession rule applies to all players or only strikers, but it would make sense for it to be all players.

I can’t remember if the books say anything about who is allowed to shoot at the goal. Obviously strikers can but I can’t remember if there are any rules saying backliners, dealers, and goalies can’t score points

The game is played in 2 halves, a total of 4 quarters. I’m not sure if the book ever says how long each quarter is but it’s probably safe to assume each is 15 minutes, so a total of 1 hour playing time. However with timeouts, breaks, penalty time and other interruptions games usually last far longer.

The foxes are a unique team because they’re much smaller than pretty much any other team in the league. They only have 9 players by the end of the year, so they can’t sub players in and out as easily. Most teams have upwards of 18 people so the players are usually on court for a much shorter time and have more time to rest between playing time. In the foxes vs. Trojans game, USC decided to play with the same size roster as the foxes meaning they rarely got to sub out players, which is why they were so exhausted by the end. Throwing yourself around a huge court at top speed for an hour is tiring.

That’s all I can think of at the moment, I’m not an expert and it’s been a while since I’ve read the books but I think exy is a pretty cool sport :)

[vaaaaaiolet]

crazy crazy CRAZY

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!