#if you try to tell me they aren’t endgame I will slap you | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jaehyunnie77 · 2 years ago

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Exile

summary: you and jaehyun are endgame, or rather were supposed to be endgame. the short story of your relationship and the ending.

pairing: jaehyun x f. reader

genre: lovers to ex's | break up au | holy trinity

word count: 5.8k

warnings: cuss words, pet names (baby/babe), mentions of food, ass slapping, oral (female recieving), unprotected sex (please wrap it up), orgasm denial, a bit of dom jaehyun, creampie.

a/n: happy holidays everyone! i've been working on this on and off for i dont know how many months, but it's here now lol. thank you to this lovely anon for requesting this scenario. i swear i didn't mean for this to be so long hehe. also, exile by taylor swift ft bon iver has been stuck in my head so that's where the title came from lol. happy sad reading and any feedback is greatly appreciated.

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the meeting

“Order for Y/N.” The barista calls out. You quickly throw your phone into your bag and hurriedly walk to the counter to grab your coffee. Today, out of all days, you just had to sleep through your alarm and now you’re running late. You should have been in class ten minutes ago to prepare for the lecture to begin.

Too deep in your thoughts, you didn’t see or hear the person behind you. When you turned around, you bumped into something hard as your hot coffee spilled on the man’s shirt. Not only that, but whatever you bumped into, made you lose your balance making you land on your ass.

“Ow. Shit.” You say quietly before looking up and seeing the stain on a white crisp shirt. Petrified, you grab the napkins from a nearby table and begin patting the coffee stain hoping it would go away. “I am so sorry!” You’re not really thinking or using your brain at the moment as you keep repeating sorry.

“It’s okay.” The man chuckles deeply. He wasn’t even mad about it. When it seemed like you didn’t hear him, or stop patting his shirt, he softly held onto your wrist to halt your movements. It then registers in your brain that you are invading someone’s personal space. You slowly look up at him and he has the most beautiful brown eyes you’ve ever seen.

You quickly look away and stare at his shirt, trying to hide the smile creeping on your face. This just had to be your luck today didn’t it.

“I’m Jaehyun.” He says softly looking down at you.

Damn even his name is beautiful.

You’re still staring at his shirt to gather your nerves to calm down when you look up and tell him your name. You give him a soft smile in return before saying one last time, “I’m really sorry about your shirt. I can pay for your coffee or dry cleaning.”

All the cute man does is chuckle at your cuteness. “It’s okay. Honestly, I’ve been trying to get rid of this shirt for the longest time and now I have a reason to.” That made you laugh. At least he wasn’t yelling at you. “You can make it up to me though.”

Your eyes go wide as you violently nod your head. “Oh my god yes please. Name it. I really do feel bad even if you want to throw it away. It is the least I can do.”

He laughs at your comment, “Go on a date with me. Tonight?” He says confidently. Now that took you by surprise.

“You’re very straightforward aren’t you?” you smirk.

Jaehyun gives you a lopsided smile making his dimples pop out. “Yeah, I can be, but you did say it’s the least you can do to make it up to me.” He had you at that and you didn’t even need to second guess your answer when you said yes.

After that first interaction and date, you went on multiple dates to get to know each other. He was easy to get along with and he made you laugh uncontrollably. Something people have a very hard time doing. In all, he just made you the happiest you’ve ever been. By the third week of dating, you two were officially together.

You did everything together from dates, him picking you up from class, going grocery shopping, hanging out and not doing anything special, cooking together, singing karaoke together, and everything in between.

By the sixth month, you both met each other’s families. You’ve been in several relationships in the past, but the relationship with Jaehyun felt different. Solely because he was different. Some may say you both moved a little too quickly for their liking, but hey, once you know, you just know and you roll with it. There wasn’t anything or anyone that would make you doubt him or the love you two share.

He understood you and listened to you whenever you needed to vent and he was always there whenever you needed him. You were each other’s biggest supporters and motivators to chase after what you wanted. On top of that, he made you feel like a princess with the way he showers you with love. There are days where you can’t believe you are living out your very own fairytale of finding your true love. Of finding your prince charming and falling head over heels in love with him and living happily ever after.

Jeong Jaehyun is perfect and he is all yours.

the fourth year

A lot has happened in the last four years. After a year of dating, you two moved into a small apartment together that was only ten minutes away from your college. You both graduated college with your degrees and are currently working for your dream companies. You’ve both been on endless vacations from New York, Chicago, Canada, Milan, and London to name a few. Four years later and you still couldn’t believe the life you’ve built with Jaehyun so far.

It's a Friday night and you couldn’t wait to walk into your apartment and change into more comfortable clothes and snuggle with your boyfriend. What you didn’t expect is to be met with almost an empty apartment.

“Baby are you home?” you yell out as you take off your shoes by the door. The lights are on, his shoes are by the door, but there was no one in sight. Usually, you could hear your boyfriend anywhere in the apartment due to him having a heavy hand and being the clumsy dork he is.

“Babe?” you yell out once more as you walk further into the living room. That is when you see a note on the couch. You pick it up and read it as a smile forms on your face and the butterflies swarm in your tummy again.

Follow the rose pedals cutie.

You look down and sure enough, there are roses on the ground leading you out of the living room. You follow exactly what your boyfriend said until you reach your kitchen island with another note.

Remember this last minute trip to New York and we were in such a rush we forgot to bring jackets and we almost froze to death?

You laugh out loud because that specific trip was one of your most treasured ones with him. You both were so excited to be doing this last minute that you were not prepared whatsoever and forgot it was winter. You look up and there is a photo of you both snuggling close together in front of the Winter Garden Theatre.

You look around hoping to see him, but there was more roses to follow. At each random stop in your apartment, there was a note or a favorite memory and pictures. The roses end their trail on the balcony and as you step on that’s when you see him.

Soft music is playing in the background, lit candles are everywhere, and there is a table in the middle of your small patio. Your eyes find Jaehyun’s loving eyes and you take in his outfit – black and white suit. You look past him and see a wall full of pictures of your time together, balloons hanging from the ceiling, along with dangling lights.

“Jae, what is all of this?” you chuckle with tears forming in your eyes.

Jaehyun walks over to you and gives you a tender kiss. “Hi.” He gives you his dimple smile and turns around to give you a glass of champagne.

“Is there a special occasion I forgot about?” you softly giggle trying to mentally picture your full packed schedule.

“Y/N LY/N. You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” Jaehyun tells you. “You are always there whenever I need guiding and always know how to make me smile. If I’m having a horrible day, you know just what to say to make it better. Your laugh is contagious and music to my ears and I swear you give me serotonin every single time. You are my best friend, my rock, and the person I am madly, deeply in love with. There is no other person I’d rather spend the rest of my life with, so that is why I have to ask,” He gets down on one knee and takes out a black box and opens it, “Y/N, would you do me this honor and be my wife for forever?” In the black box laid the most beautiful diamond ring you’ve ever seen.

You look away from the ring and into his glistening eyes. God you love this man so much. You wipe your tears as you nod fiercely. “Yes! Yes and yes! A million times yes!” Jaehyun smiles widely taking the ring out with shaking hands and placing it on your fourth finger. He gets up and kisses you passionately as he holds you tight in his embrace.

“I love you Mrs. Jeong.” He says.

“And I love you Mr. Jeong.” You laugh before going in for another kiss.

That night you two made endless love that you swear you heard your neighbor banging on the wall for you both to shut up.

The following week, you both announced the news to your family and friends and as expected, everyone is happy for you both. You couldn’t stop smiling and you couldn’t wait to start planning your dream wedding to the love of your life. You couldn’t wait for your future.

the drunk night

It has been eight months since you got engaged and an exhausting but exciting eight months. The wedding date was set to hold in fourth months. As much as you were excited in the process of planning your wedding and building your forever with Jaehyun, he didn’t seem too excited in the last month or so. You would try to get his input about the cake, the venue, the guest list, the location, down to the color schemes and all you’ve got in return was a “choose whichever makes you happy.”

Sure, if this was any other person, you’d look the other way and just be glad to plan it, except, this is Jaehyun. The one who makes it obvious and known when he’s excited, tired, angry, frustrated, annoyed, disappointed, and all other emotions in between. You’ve noticed him becoming less excited and more exhausted whenever the topic of the wedding comes up.

You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was making him feel anxious or brushing it off like it was nothing. You’ve tried multiple times to coax it out of him and yet all you got in return was a snappy attitude and him repeatedly saying, “it’s nothing.”

It is 10:30 on a Saturday night and Jaehyun still hasn’t come home. You’ve called and texted him multiple times only for his phone go straight to voicemail and no text back. You were starting to get worried since he always made sure to check in with you if he was going to be out late.

Four hours passed and still the same outcome. You scroll through your contacts to find his best friend’s phone number. Just as you are about to dial Johnny, you hear the door unlock and there walks in your fiancé. Your very drunk fiancé.

Jaehyun is notoriously known to have a high alcohol intolerance since college, so the fact that he is bat shit drunk in front of you tells you he was clearly drinking something away.

“Ow. Shit.” He mumbles as he stumbles to the floor. You jump from the couch and ran straight to him. “Oh hi honey. You’re still up?” He gives you a lopsided smile.

“How much did you drink Jae?” you ask worriedly. You’ve never seen this side of him before.

“Just enough.” He sighs deeply and attempts to get up only for his movements to be sluggish.

You get up and attempt to get him off the floor. After the tenth time, you succeeded and stumble to your shared room. “Come on babe, let’s get you to bed.”

“You are so pretty. You’ve always been so pretty Y/N.” he mumbles and begins to poke your cheeks.

“And so are you handsome.” You try to return the same enthusiasm, but to no avail. Inside, your brain kept asking a million different questions of why he drank so much.

“I miss you.” he pouts at you once he laid on the bed.

“I miss you too silly.”

“No, I know. I mean, I just really miss you.”

“I’m always here, what are you talking about bubs.” You chuckle.

“No you’re not. It’s different. It all feels different.”

Just before you’re about to ask him what he meant, he closes his eyes and falls fast asleep. You sigh deeply and do your best to get him out of his jeans and shirt so he could sleep more comfortably.

As you lay next to him, his words kept replaying in your brain and along with that, you begin to think back on how things been between you both lately. Before anxiety could overwhelm you, you force your mind to shut up and try getting some sleep.

The next morning, you woke up to Jaehyun cooking breakfast and for a minute you forgot what happened the night before. You get out of bed and head over to see your fiancé focusing on the egg omelet. For a very drunk person the night before, he seems to be doing okay without a hangover.

“Good morning handsome. It smells good in here.” You warmly smile as you hug him from behind.

“Good morning babe.”

“How are you feeling?” you cautiously ask.

“Doing okay. No hangover it that’s what you’re asking.” He chuckles.

“I wish I had your superpowers. You came home super drunk.”

“Yeah I’m sorry about that. Had too much to drink with Johnny and the boys and just lost count.”

Was it just that? Have you been overthinking about the situation over nothing?

“It’s okay. We all need to get drunk once in a while, though, you’re hard to get off of the floor when you’re that wasted.” You both laugh at that comment and continue on the day with each other.

In the back of your mind, you felt this particular moment was what started it all for what was to come. You wish you had seen the signs sooner.

the blowup

It’s been two months since the night Jaehyun came home drunk and since then, you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him. You were scared of what was coming or what he had to say if you asked him about what he said. So instead, you pretend that everything was fine in your relationship, when in reality it was the total opposite.

You both felt different and couldn’t come to terms with it.

“I’m not saying that we can’t have both entrees Jaehyun. You’re missing the point.” You say trying to control your temper from boiling over.

“Then who gives a fuck if we have steak or chicken? Or mashed potatoes and carrots? No one is going to give a flying fuck as long as you have the damn wedding Y/N!” Jaehyun exclaims.

It wasn’t that you were afraid of him, its just you’ve never seen him this upset before. You sit there in shock written all over your face.

“Jae-“

“Seriously Y/N, do you really think people are going to judge you for the food you serve them? No. All they care about it having free booze, free meal, and the wedding. That’s all people care about.”

“Well maybe if you have given me your input from the start then we wouldn’t be sitting here talking about entrees!” you finally said as you hit your tipping point. There was no way you were going to get yelled at when you were the only one planning this alone.

“Oh, so now it’s my fault we can’t choose what the hell to eat.” Jaehyun scoffs.

Taking a deep breath as you try to calm yourself down, you try to understand where he is coming from. “Look I get you’re stressed out from the new promotion at work –“

“This has nothing to do with work!”

You frowned at his response, confusion taking over. “Then where is this coming from?”

He deeply sighs annoyingly, “Nowhere.”

You get up from the couch when you start to feel angry, “No, clearly something is bothering you just like it has been for the last couple of months. Spill out Jae, what is going on?”

“It’s nothing, forget about it.”

You were growing more frustrated and couldn’t help the next words to slip out of your mouth, “Are you seeing someone else? Is that it? Is that why you’re so miserable all the time!?”

His eyes widen as he also gets up from the couch. “Of course not! I am not a cheater and you know it!”

“Pft, then what is it because all you’ve been doing lately is give me the same repetitive answers with an attitude for the past several months. So whatever you have to say, just –“

“Fine! I don’t want to get married! There I said it! Are you happy now?”

You both stand there in shock at the words he said. You from hearing it and him for finally saying it out loud.

“What?” you ask in almost a whisper in disbelief.

Jaehyun sighs deeply before letting it out, “I don’t want to get married.”

You are so confused on how this turned an ugly left. “I don’t – I don’t understand. You don’t want to get married anymore?”

“No.” he says sadly.

“Did you ever wanted to get married in the first place?”

He takes a deep breath once again and shakes his head.

Now your entire world is flip upside down.

“Then why would you ask in the first place Jaehyun?” you cried.

“Because you’re you. You’ve always wanted to get married and we kept talking about it, and I thought at the time it was what I wanted as well at the time. I just wanted to make you happy.”

You stand there, your heart breaking into pieces as your mind and heart went to war with each other.

“So you only asked because I wanted to get married?”

“I’m so sorry Y/N. I never meant for this to happen.”

Just like that, the dam in your eyes begin to fall as you try to catch your breath. You didn’t realize you’re crying so hard.

“It’s been four years and you didn’t have it in you to be honest with me? Ab-about our relationship. Do you even still love m-me?”

Silence.

It was getting harder for the words to form and come out of your mouth. All Jaehyun could do in that moment is hold you close and let both of you cry throughout the night.

the hide and seek

Four years. That’s how long you spent your life with someone you thought would be your forever, only for it to go down the drain.

Everyone thought you and Jaehyun would be endgame – your family, friends, co-workers, and strangers alike have told you that both are endgame. Jaehyun has said it. You’ve said it. So, why is it, as you sit on the couch two weeks later, wonder where, when, and how did it all go wrong. How did one precious timeframe of tender loving turn into a disaster nightmare?

“I guess we should talk.” Jaehyun says carefully when he sees you staring into nothing on the couch. He knows it is his fault for why you are in this position and for hurting you.

You didn’t reply to him and felt the other end of the couch dip as he sits down.

It is quiet for a moment before you ask the question that’s been on your mind for the past two weeks “Where do we go from here?”

Jaehyun stares at the wall ahead of him, “I think we both know what needs to happen.” He looks to you and he truly regrets hurting you.

“When did you know?” you ask turning to face him.

“Know what?”

“That you didn’t love me anymore?”

He knew this question was coming, but didn’t expect it to be so hard to tell you the truth. “I still love you Y/N, but it’s not the same as when we first started dating.”

“So, when?”

“Four months ago.”

You nodded your head. That was the time he started coming home late and that one drunken night he came stumbling into your apartment. You think back to last year and try to analyze where you went wrong, though the only thing you can think of was you both were committed to your jobs. Which resulted in not having enough time for each other and as far as sex goes it happened at least twice a month.

Damn, even the sex was lacking when you both used to have crazy sex.

“Why didn’t you just come and talk to me? We could have worked something out you know.” You say sadly.

“Yeah, but what would be the point? You finally got that promotion you’ve been wanting right after New Years and I ended up covering more hours at work. We didn’t have time for each other and if we did, it was mostly sleeping in from how exhausted we were.”

“But you’re my fiancé, boyfriend, whatever. We should have still communicated Jaehyun.”

“I know and that is my fault. I will admit and own up to that. I thought if I proposed to you, it would bring back the love I felt for you, but it never did. So, instead of manning up, I was a coward and held in my true feelings in order to save you the heartbreak, but I see now I was wrong.”

“If we had never fought two weeks ago, would you have said something? Would you have called off the wedding when it was time?”

At that Jaehyun became quiet. “I don’t know.”

You couldn’t handle sitting on the couch any longer with the man you still love and hear his honesty. You wanted to scream, throw his things out the door, break something, but instead, you just left the living room in defeat.

That night he slept in the guest room, while you slept by yourself in your once shared mastered bedroom. That arrangement continued for another two weeks. It shouldn’t be like this. None of this should even be happening. Maybe it was due to the upcoming embarrassment of you two breaking up and telling your friends and family about it. As much as you try to find ways to still be in a relationship with Jaehyun, you knew deep down that if he no longer loved you, there isn’t much of a relationship.

You knew what the next step is and as much as you don’t want to face it, it’s best if you both start to move forward with your own lives.

You walk into the living room where he is slouched on the couch mindlessly watching the TV. You take a deep breath to gather all your courage. “I think we should officially break up.”

Jaehyun’s eyes find yours in an instant and straightens up. He just gives you a small nod.

“I found some apartment listings so I’ll move out in a few weeks or so.” you gave him a nod and turn back to your room.

The look on his face is either from the surprise break up or shock that you’re the one moving out. To be honest, he shouldn’t be feeling either emotions because this would have been the outcome one way or another and he knew that.

He just didn’t think it would hurt him this much.

the end

Few weeks or so turned into a month because holy shit apartment searching is hell. There was no way you’re moving back with your parents or crashing at your friends places. Living with your ex was new. Sure, the first few days were awkward as you try to not bump into each other or walk into bathrooms when being used. Later, you both somehow managed to make it work – by coming home late and leaving early.

After finally finding an apartment near your work, you start packing your things. As you pack the last remaining items, you never realized you had so many things. You decided to take a break and have a nice long hot shower since Jaehyun was still at work. While you’re in the shower, Jaehyun comes home early from work. He hears the soft R&B music coming from your once shared room.

To him, he was grateful that it wasn’t a toxic breakup or any 24/7 bitterness between you both. He kept replaying the night you told him you were moving out and he couldn’t put into words how he felt. Too deep in his thoughts and unaware of your presence, you walk out of your room naked.

It’s something you always do when you’re home alone. Jaehyun’s eyes goes wide from seeing all of you as you try to cover up your body with a towel. It’s a sight he truly missed seeing.

“Oh my god! Jaehyun! You’re home. I’m so sorry.” You say catching your breath and slowing down your heart rate.

All Jaehyun can do is stare at you before nodding, “Yeah, I decided to call it a day.” He quickly turns around as your nipple peaks out of your rushed towel. “I’m going to make some dinner.” He quickly rushes into the kitchen to calm himself down.

Something comes over you the moment you see his back enter the kitchen. You do something, something you haven’t done in a hot second and let your towel fall to the ground. You follow after him naked. Jaehyun has his back to you as he looks at the pantry trying to rid thoughts of you.

“Jae.” You say softly gaining his attention.

Jaehyun turns around and once again gets fluster at you being naked in front of him. He takes in your perfect body and he can’t even remember the last time you had sex. Neither of you can. You guess it has been a while.

You slowly walk up to him as he stands there frozen watching your every move. His eyes meets yours filled with lust and longing. You softly touch his arm and caress it before wrapping them around your waist.

“Y/N-“

“If you don’t want to, I’ll stop.” You interject. You’re super horny and from the way he’s eyeing you, you know he is too, but when he doesn’t make a move or say anything, you figured he wasn’t in the mood. Embarrassment begins to take over as you stop touching him and backing away from his form.

“I’m sorry –“ you begin, but your sentence is cut short when he grabs your waist and clashes your lips together.

The kiss is hungry as if you two are both starved. In a sense, you’re both starving for each other. You take off his shirt revealing his perfect abs and begin to undo his belt. Jaehyun’s lips travel to your jaw, neck, down to your clavicle. Once he’s free of his jeans, he kicks them off and kisses you once more.

His hands goes all over your bare back before giving your ass a squeeze and slapping it earning a gasp from you. He then surprises you by picking you up and sitting you on the counter where he kisses you all over your chest. He kisses both breasts before diving to your right nipple and sucking it as his hand pinches and stimulates the left and repeats the motions.

You gasp as he continues to arouse you and you unconsciously begin moving your hips and wrapping your legs around him.

“Jae.” You whine. He looks up at you, your tit still in his mouth and his hooded eyes are dark. “I need you.” you finally manage to say.

He nods and leaves a trail of kisses up to your lips. With your legs still wrap around him, he picks you up smoothly and walks back to your shared room. He lays you down gently and begin giving the rest of your body kisses down to your core.

“Jaehyun.” You say out of breath because you know he’s teasing you right now.

“Just a little taste first baby.”

He kisses your inner thighs before kissing your clit. His tongue licks your wet folds and you couldn’t help the moan that comes out of your mouth.

“It has been too long.” He says more to himself, but you still heard him.

He dives his tongue into your hole as his nose brushes against your clit. He knows what you want and he gives it to you. He sucks and licks as his digits enters you. You are so horny from all the foreplay, it didn’t take long for you to come.

“That’s my good girl.” He says breathlessly. You look down at him to see your essence on his chin. He holds his hard cock, giving it a few pumps before getting off his knees to crawl over you. Jaehyun doesn’t give you time to recover when he gathers your wetness and slides between your folds. Jaehyun positions the head directly in front of your soaking hole and slowly pushes himself inside.

No matter how many times you two do this, you never get used to how much he beautifully stretches you out. Inch by inch, you feel every rigid of his perfect cock in you. You gasp when he’s fully seated inside of you and he gives you a minute to catch your breath before you tell him to move.

He doesn’t need to be told twice, but instead of going slow, he surprises you by pulling out to the tip and slamming back into you. He repeats the motion until he’s fucking you hard and fast. Just the way you both like it.

“Fuck you are so beautiful. I love the way you take my cock.”

You moan in between gasps, “Always for you.”

Jaehyun changes positions as he sits on his heels, pulling you closer to him and holding up your legs in the air. The position lets him watch your soaked pussy swallow him whole whenever he fucks deeper into you. You hold onto your boobs when he goes faster and fuck you have missed this.

“Jae I’m close.”

“Already going to cum? Hold it in just a bit longer.” His voice is deep.

You do as you’re told and try to hold it in as long as you can until it was too much. “Jaehyun!”

“Come on my dick baby.” You let go as soon as he tells you. The pure bliss takes over every single nerve as you cum hard. Your mouth goes slack, eyes closed, and all Jaehyun can do in that one moment is be mesmerize by your perfection.

He slows his pace down enough to let you catch your breath, but Jaehyun being Jaehyun, that didn’t last long. He hovers over you once more with your legs now by your face. This position makes it so much more intimate and deeper.

“You are so beautiful.”

“I want you to cum in me. Please baby.” How could he not resist you when you begged so cutely and so fucked out. He kisses you hard as his pace returns to animalistic and thrusts harder into you.

“Please daddy. I want it all. I want you to fill me up.” You knew just what to say to get him going. His hips begin to falter as his cock twitches and cums in you.

His moans and groans is so sexy, you almost come again from the sound of it.

“Fuck.” Jaehyun says when he finally catches his breath. You stay in that blissful moment before he pulls out. You feel your mix liquids drip down while he goes into the bathroom to get you a warm towel to clean you up. He discards the towel onto the floor as he lies down next to you pulling the blanket over your naked bodies.

“So that just happened.” You say not knowing exactly what to do next.

“Yeah.” He says staring at the ceiling. Neither of you have ever been in this position before, let alone have random one night stands before you two met all those years ago.

“I’m sorry for what I did and for hurting you.” he breaks the silence.

“I know. As much as I want to hate you for it, I can’t and I don’t. I somehow get it. We just grew apart I guess.” You say quietly. In reality, it was true. You both are two completely different people than you were a year ago or four years ago.

“Can we just stay like this for one night? One last time?” he turns to look at you with pleading eyes. He wants you to say yes. He wants to hold you in his arms and watch Disney movies. He wants to be next to you throughout the night.

You look back at him and give him a sad smile, “One last time.” You whisper. You kiss him as you pull yourself on top to straddle him.

One last time. One last night. You both used it wrap in each other and bring each other to ecstasy and to the heavens above, all for it to repeat until the early morning.

Your by the door not really wanting to leave, but you have to take the first step in moving forward with your life.

“So this is really it isn’t it?” he asks softly.

“Yeah I guess it is.” You whisper.

Somehow seeing the last box by the door and you getting ready to leave, hurt him. It’s strange to see the person you’ve spent four long years with suddenly walking out the door to never return again.

“Thank you Jaehyun for everything.” You look up at him and give him one last kiss on his soft lips. The lips that will for sure take a while to forget. You linger there for a moment taking it all in, before forcing yourself to pick up the box in your arms and walking away. Away from the man you loved – still love – and walk straight into the unknown future.

Jaehyun watches you get into your car and drive off away from him and the home you once shared. For the first time in a long time he wanted to cry. The memories the two of you shared comes rushing back and overwhelms him.

He knows he needed to let you go. He knew he couldn’t go through with the wedding and he knew you deserved someone better than him.

When he couldn’t see your car anymore, he looks around the empty apartment. For the first time in years, Jeong Jaehyun finally lets out all of his pent up emotions. The apartment feeling cold and lonely without you there. Without you in his life.

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checkingoutforheroes · 3 years ago

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B.A.B.Y PROTOCOL.

Part 1.

Avengers x fem!reader

Pt. 2

Genre: Minor angst, more fluff.

Warning: Language! (cursing here & there)

Words: 1746

Synopsis: This takes place in Avengers: Age of Ultron. When The Avengers were at the rock bottom, Nick Fury and advised by Maria Hill, to initiate the B.A.B.Y Protocol.

Main MASTERLIST

The Avengers gather in the lab after one of an ugly half made robot command a few of the Legionaries to attack them. Currently they are finding out about what or who attacked them. Some of them cleaning their wounds and Thor going out to track the Legionaries. Bruce the only one who starts first. “All of our work is gone. Ultron cleared out every research that we do. He uses internet as an escape route.” Natasha turns and lean her body to a table to say what she’s found. “He’s been in everything. Fails, surveillances. Probably know about us more than we know about each other.”

Holding his right wounded arm, Rhody said “He’s in the internet, he’s in your files. What if he decides to access to something a little more exciting?” By that, Maria has thought something. “Nuclear code.” Natasha looking at them “Nukes? He said he wanted us dead.” Steve interrupt her “He didn’t say dead. He said extinct.” “He said he killed somebody.” Clint said but Maria ask back. “But no one else in the building.” Their conversations cut by Tony. “Yes there was.” He displays JARVIS damaged simulator form and all went silent except Bruce, he checks on JARVIS.

Thor come in angry and straight to choke Tony. Being choke, Tony try talk to Thor “Come one. Use your words buddy.” Thor lift him up a few inch above the floor. “I have more than enough words with you Stark.” Steve walks closer, breaking them. “Thor. The Legionaries?” Thor update them about the Legionaries have the scepter and they have to retrieve it again. For the first time after the attack, Dr. Chow speaks. “You build this program. Why he’s trying to kill us?” Tony just laugh at that question and Bruce disagree. “Tony, this might not be the time to-“ Tony cut his sentences. “Really?! Bruce. We didn’t create a murder bot. Remember New York?” Everyone move their head down facing the floor remembering that event and Tony continue. “A hostile army of aliens charging through a hole in space. We’re standing 300 feet below it. We’re The Avengers. We can bust arms dealer all day but that up there, that’s, that’s the endgame. How do you guys planning on beating that?” Steve looking at him “Together.” “We’ll lose.” Tony say and Steve still with his answer “And we’ll do that together too.” He looks at everyone and gives the order. “Thor’s right. Ultron trying to draw us out. We start tonight. Do whatever you can to find him. The world is a big place, make it smaller.” Maria stand from her chair. “I’ll escort Dr. Chow to airport. I’ll see you guys in the afternoon.” They all nods and both of them walks out of the lab.

Next morning.

A young girl wearing her café’s uniform walking with a headphone on her head. While walking, she notices a guy snatches a bag from a lady. That lady screaming asking for help while her baby crying to see her mother in terror from across the street. You bring down your headphone and chase that guy. Thanks for your training, you almost keep up that guy until he stuck in an ally, nowhere to go.

“You wanna give me the bag or I’ll take it from you?” You said. Looks like he’s stuck.

“Fast legs.” He said.

“I had trained before.”

“I’m not a bad guy.”

“Well, good guys don’t snatch a bag from people especially in front of their baby! You gave me the wrong impression though. Now, give me the bag and go.”

“I’d like to see you take it.” “You asked for it dude.” You move forward and fight him hand to hand combat. Actually, you are a bit surprise by his technique. He’s not so bad but you have been train by a professional back in the academy.

You’ve been caught one day and some guy wear uniform took you somewhere. You thought it was a juvenile school because you are just 15 that time. Turns out it was S.H.I.E.L.D. They gave you test by test and found out that you good at combat and a little bit good at common sense. After you graduated, work job by job. Gang to gang. Mob to mob. You can’t do that kind of job anymore. You want to be good and yes, you did stop working with the dark. You washed your hands and works at Donut Do It. It’s not your vibe but it is fine for your fresh start. After you slap that guy, you hear a woman voice call your name that has been long unspoken by anyone including you.

“Baby.” A woman called.

“Normal people doesn’t know that name.” You said while choking that guy.

She said “Maybe because you’re not a normal girl.”

“What do you want Maria?” You ask that woman.

You immediately know who he is. Fury. “Oh God, not you too. Okay, for the record, honestly, I haven’t commit any crime that violated the laws.”

“You.” A deep voice man said.

You can hear Maria smirk when she asks you “Are you sure about that?” “…today. You didn’t let me finish. I didn’t commit any crime, today.” You said. Fury tell you to let that guy go and you look at that guy “You’re with them?” He tries to answer even you’re still choking him. “Y.. YE.. Yes!” You release him and slap him real hard right across his face. “That’s for wasting my time. Fuck off.”

Fury look disbelievingly at you. “Was that necessary?” You look back at him “What? Caressing lightly on his soft cheek?” Maria interject “That’s the opposite of what you did.” You try again just to tease her. “Okay. I, tap his soft cheek?” Maria raise an eyebrow at you “Try again.” You surrender. “Fine. I just 180-degree angle slapped him. He’s a trained agent for God sake. He’ll be fine.” You turn around about to walk back to your work place and Fury stop you.

“And where do you think you’re going young lady?” He asks you.

You turning back. “ Work. Turns out I have a job now papa bear. Thanks for the recommendation letter though. Now, will you excuse me, I have go to work. Hope to never see you two again. Babai.” Again, Fury stops you. “You are not going to that Donut Do It.” You tilt your head to him. “I told you I work there and I’m going. If you two want donut, you know where to find it. Mention my name and you’ll get 30% discounts.” Maria’s face changes when she talks this time. “This is serious and urgent, Baby.”

“We are gathering as many as best agents that we have, and you are one of the best, Baby. Come with us and we’ll brief you.” Fury said and you stop him from saying any further. “Look, I’m gonna stop you right here papa Bear. That is where you are wrong. Aren’t you guys seen my record? I know what good is but I’m far away from good. There is still red blood stain painted on my hands that I could never leave. Even if I wash it thousands time, it won’t come off. What makes you think I’ll do it?” You feel your left chest aching but you ignore it.

Maria answers you. “Because everyone deserves a chance to be and do good. To start over. Yes, you can’t wash that much blood on our hands but this is the chance for you to do something good in your life. A do-over. You actually do something good after the academy. Take out those mobsters down, those gangs. You went inside to get the intel and you burn them to the ground and made those cities safe. Then, you just proof us again just now by caught that robber.”

You huff and look down on your feet. “You set that up.”

Maria look at you. “But you didn’t know that. Yes, Baby. We’ve seen your record. Detail. You are far away from where you are before the academy. Or after. I mean you did killed people.” You crunch your eyebrows at her “Hey!” Fury turn to talk. “Help us this time. After that, it’s all up to you. We are no longer bugging you. You are no longer in our record. I’m not wasting my time coming here if we don’t need you.” “I thought you miss me.” Fury huff and talk to Maria “I’ll wait in the car.”

“He never begging. That kind of begging, what he did. Is it that bad?” I ask Maria and she nod with worry face. “Earth level threat. That’s all I can say right now. Come with us to tower and we tell you more.” You let out a long sigh. “Me? Out of all agents, me?” Maria walk closer to you. “Please Baby.” You’re now messing with her. “It Earth level threat and you want a baby to involve? What kind of adult are you? Put a cute baby in danger like that. Unbelievable.” She smiles more than earlier. “The kind of person that will make sure there will be chicken drumets and spaghetti carbonara every day for your meal.” You silently look at her and playfully sigh and she knows you better. “Caramel pudding and fluffy pillow too.” The ache in your chest getting hard to ignore now. You ask Maria some time and turn back from her. You bending, breathing like your doctor teach you and massage your chest a little. Must be from running earlier.

“Hey, are you okay?” Maria ask, worry if you are sick, but yes you are sick.

“Yeah. Just shock. Did you say fluffy pillow? You ask her, not wanting to let her know first. They need your help, that’s what you are going to do. Help as much as you can. She let out a giggles and wrap her arm around your neck. “Yeah, you are coming with us, like it or not.” You both walk toward their car where Fury is waiting. “How many pillow though?”

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Thank you for spending your time reading this. Feel free to reblog or ask me anything, thank you in advance!

Part 2 is coming!!

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just-dreaming-marvel · 4 years ago

Text

Out Of Time ~ 131

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 3,805ish

Summary: The fight continues.

“Y/N? Did you do it?” Steve asked, still fighting off the creatures attacking them. No answer though. “Y/N?” Still nothing. “I need eyes on Y/N!”

“I’m heading to the lab now!” Bucky responded.

“She seems to be in a trance,” Shuri finally answered, coming up to Y/N. “Her eyes are glowing the same color as the Stone, but it’s clear she’s not really here.”

“And the Stone?” Steve wondered.

“Floating in between her hands. But I can already tell there’s a protective barrier around it. We won’t be able to get to it.”

“I’m here! I’me here!” Bucky exclaimed, running to Y/N’s side. “Shit.” He knelt in front of her, knowing not to touch her. “Steve, we’re going to have to wait this out. Waking her isn’t going to be a smart option.”

“Stay by her side then! She’s one of the few things stopping Thanos from succeeding.”

“On it.”

“I’m going to secure the lab,” Shuri stated, rushing off with the guards.

“Oh, doll,” Bucky sighed. “Where’ve you gone now?”

~~~

Y/N was kneeling in the common room of the SHIELD base she had once called home. Everything had an orange tint to it, so she knew she was in the Soul Dimension. Standing up, she observed the room. No one was there and it looked like it had those many years ago when they first had found the base. Untouched, undamaged, ready and waiting for adventure.

Confused as to why she was there, Y/N stood up and began to make her way around the base. Memories of all the good times and bad she had shared with the team crossed her mind. She had completely forgotten about the troubles in reality as she wondered, eventually finding her way to Coulson’s office. With a shaky breath, she opened the door. Looking around, she froze when her eyes saw it. Saw him.

“Hey, Y/N,” Coulson smiled. He was in a black suit, sitting against his desk. “Told you I’d always be there.”

“Phil?” Y/N gasped. “What… how… this means… you died.”

“About a week ago.” Coulson stood up straight, unbuttoning his jacket. “May should have sent you a letter. Though, I understand why you haven’t gotten in yet.”

“Why are you here?”

“Don’t know,” he shrugged. “The Stone brought me here. I immediately knew it was because of you though. What’s going on?”

“I… Thanos is coming for the Stones. I was in Wakanda, trying to destroy the Soul Stone and now I’m here.” Y/N looked around. “They told me… they warned me.”

“Who warned you? About what?”

“The Stones warned me that if I tried to stop them, they would stop me. This is them doing that.”

“Why would they do that though? Aren’t you suppose to save the universe or something?”

“I am… just not yet… people are going to die. And I won’t be able to stop it…”

“People die every day, not everyone’s deaths is your fault.”

Y/N shook her head. “This is different though, Phil. So very different.”

Coulson sighed and walked over so that he was standing in front of Y/N. “Always been so stubborn and full of heart. But instead of staying here feeling guilty about it all, before it even happens, you need to focus and beat this Stone out.” He set his hands on her shoulders, looking at her square on. “You need to get out there and help everyone else.”

“I don’t—“

“No excuses. Focus. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and focus.”

~~~

Back on Titan, the small team there was trying to recover from a moon being thrown at them. Iron Man took the biggest hit. Moon-chunks were still flying everyone, with random debris as well. Mantis, Drax, and Star-Lord were all unconscious, flying through the air. Luckily, Spider-Man was still conscious. He swung through the air, catching the unconscious Guardians.

“I got you!” Spider-Man exclaimed, webbing Mantis. “I got you!” He snagged Drax next, securing both of them to something not moving. “I’m sorry I can’t remember anybody’s names!” He then reeled in Star-Lord.

Dr. Strange and Thanos began battling each other. Both using their available powers to counter the other. After Strange duplicated himself, Thanos used the Reality and Power Stones to discover the real one. He then used the Reality and Space Stones to pull Strange forward, letting Thanos grasp him by the throat.

“You’re full of tricks, wizard,” Thanos said, reaching for the necklace holding the Time Stone.

“No!” Strange yelled as Thanos snapped the necklace from his neck.

“Yet you never once used your greatest weapon.” Thanos crushed the necklace with his bare hand. “A fake.”

Angry, Thanos threw Dr. Strange and his head hit a rock, causing him to pass out. Almost simultaneously, a red and gold device slapped into the palm of the Infinity Gauntlet, bracing the fingers open. Iron Man then made a fast and hard entrance.

“You throw another moon at me, and I’m gonna to lose it,” Tony said, clearly done with Thanos.

“Stark,” Thanos greeted.

“You know me?”

“I do. You and the girl aren’t the only one cursed with knowledge.”

“My only curse is you.”

Small rockets popped out of Iron Man’s back and launched at Thanos. The rockets all exploded on target, momentarily shrouding Thanos in smoke. Before it cleared, Iron Man pile drove into Thanos horizontally, using his single super jet boot. As he bounced off, Tony flipped and stuck the landing, immediately re-configuring his boots into ground clamps and his gloves into rocket-driven battering rams, punching Thanos into the ruined wall behind him.

Thanos shook it off quickly. He reached forward and tore Iron Man’s helmet off, revealing Tony's surprised expression before the suit recovered automatically and re-formed his head protection. Thanos made use of the delay and punched back hard, sending Tony sliding meters away and giving Thanos time to rip the brace device off the gauntlet. He immediately used the Power Stone to stream energy at Tony, who formed a shield to kneel behind just as instantly, getting pushed back even further by the incredible force.

Iron Man slid out from behind the shield, letting the angled energy push him away for a faster start, and whipped back to Thanos. Tony kicked at the Titan with his left foot, turning the boot into a ground clamp at the same time to pin the gauntlet. He kept twisting while his left glove became a ran again, slamming into Thanos’ face and cutting his cheek.

“All that for a drop of blood,” Thanos panted.

Thanos smiled before punching Iron Man, sending him pinwheeling. He then started beating him with his fists. Iron Man attempted to block the blows with his forearms, but Thanos was relentless, picking him up by the helmet and blasting his midsection with the Power Stone. The gaps in the nano tech suit were gaping, as the armor lost the ability to recover from the intensity and extent of the damage.

Iron Man landed hard from the Power blast, struggled to one knee and fired his right hand repulsor at the inexorable Thanos; the beam was easily deflected by the gauntlet. Tony got to both feet as the suit tried to complete repairs, adding the beam from his left hand as well. Thanos walked right up to him, and backhanded the incomplete helmet completely off Tony's head. He crossed his arms to block a blow from Thanos' gauntlet, and had his left hand caught over his head.

In desperation, Tony formed what's left of his right glove into a short-sword, which was also easily caught by Thanos, snapping it off clean and driving it through Tony's left side. Thanos then walked Tony back until he was sitting, and placed the gauntlet almost comfortingly on Tony’s head.

“You have my respect, Stark,” Thanos said. “When I’m done, half of humanity will still be alive.” He let go, straightened and stepped back. “I hope they remember you.”

Tony was a little distracted with the pain, blood drooling out of his mouth and compromised breathing. Thanos raised the gauntlet, closing his fist, all three of the Stones glowing.

“Wait,” Thanos said, noticing the problem. He unlisted his hand and looked at the side of the gauntlet where the Stones sat. “The Soul Stone,” he growled. He looked around, realizing that someone had been missing from he whole fight. “The girl.” He glared at Tony. “Where is she?”

“Away… from here,” Tony panted.

“AHH!” Thanos screamed, powering up the gauntlet.

“STOP!” Strange shouted. “Spare his life… and I will give you the Stone.”

“No tricks.” Strange shook his head and Thanos pointed the gauntlet at him instead.

“Don’t!” Tony pled.

Dr. Strange reached up and plucked the Time Stone out of its hiding place. His opened his tremoring hand and the Stone floated to Thanos. Strange and Tony watched as Thanos took the Stone and dropped it into the thumb setting, the energy pulse making him wince.

“Two to go,” Thanos stated.

An energy blast hit the gauntlet and Thanos grimaced in surprise. Screaming in incoherent rage, with his helmet up and firing from both hands, Quill came flying straight for Thanos. Thanos didn’t bother responding to the assault, simply using the Space Stone to disappear. Star-Lord flew through where Thanos had been and crashed, rolling several times.

“Where is he?!” Quill exclaimed, standing and de-helmeting. Tony was stitching up his stab wound with his suit. “Did we just lose?”

Tony looked at Dr. Strange, clearly saddened. “Why would you do that?” He asked.

“We’re in the Endgame now,” Strange responded.

~~~

“Focus harder, Y/N!” Coulson ordered. “The Stone is trying to keep you in here. You need to get out there and help your team.”

“I know, Phil!” Y/N responded, frustrated. She ran her hands down her face. “I know…”

“Momma!” She heard a boy’s distance cries. “Momma!”

Y/N looked up, standing front he seat she was in. “Is that… no. Impossible. He’d be just a year.”

“Age doesn’t work the same in the Soul Stone,” Coulson replied.

“Momma!” The cry was frantic, clearly something was wrong.

“AJ?” Y/N responded.

“Momma!”

“AJ!”

A little boy, probably no more than six, came barreling into the room. He quickly latched onto Y/N and she bent down to hold onto him.

“AJ,” she whispered, a tear slipping down her cheek. She pulled back and knelt down, cupping his cheeks. “You’re so big.” He was the perfect mix of Y/N and Tony.

“There’s a problem, momma,” the little boy told her, trying to catch his breath.

“A problem? What’s the problem?”

“With daddy! He’s in trouble.”

“Dad? What’s wrong with Tony?”

“Thanos hurt him and now Thanos is headed for Earth. You have to do something.”

“I will, sweetheart,” she pressed a kiss to his head. “I will. Can you do something for me, AJ?”

“Of course, momma.”

Y/N couldn’t help but smile at her son. “Stay with Uncle Phil, okay? He’ll take care of you while I can’t. And don’t worry about me or your dad. I’m going to fix this.”

“Okay, momma.”

“Your momma and daddy love and miss you so much, you know that right?”

“I do,” the little boy nodded. “I love you too.”

Y/N gave a teary eyes, tight lipped smile. “That’s a good boy. You go stand back with Uncle Phil, alright?”

“Alright momma.”

She stood up as her son hurried over to Coulson. Her and Coulson made eye-contact. “Take care of him.”

“Are you kidding?” Coulson smiled, picking up AJ. “I’ve always wanted to be Uncle Phil. Now, focus.”

Y/N nodded, taking a deep breath. She held her hands in front of her, palms up, as she closed her eyes. She could feel the Stone pushing against her, wanting to keep her there. But she wouldn’t let it, she had to be stronger. Focusing on the need to leave and the power surrounding her, Y/N began to channel it. Quickly, she could feel the power building inside her, begging to be let free.

“Keep going momma!” She could hear AJ cheer.

Y/N took in as much power as she could, before she felt like she would explode. Opening her eyes, she looked at Phil and AJ. They were both taken back my the incredibly amber shade Y/N’s eyes had taken, but they knew it was the Stones.

“Don’t let him forget me,” she told Phil.

“Never,” he responded.

With one last look at her son, Y/N closed her eyes and turned away. Letting out a painfully scream, the power inside her blasted out, cracking the inner walls of the Soul Stone.

~~~

“Bucky!” Steve called. “How’s it going up there?”

“She hasn’t moved, Steve,” Bucky responded with a shake of his head. “She’s— wait.” Bucky looked closer at the Stone floating between her palms. “The Stones cracking. She’s doing it!”

“Let me know when she’s done.”

“Come on, Y/N,” Bucky muttered. “You can do it, doll.”

As the Stone shattered into pieces, falling onto the ground, Y/N shouted out in pain. Her hands found the floor, stabilizing her from falling on her face.

“Oh my— Steve, she did it,” Bucky told the others, pulling Y/N into his chest. “She destroyed the Stone.”

“Good,” Steve replied. “Now you two need to get down here and help us hold them from getting Vision.”

Bucky held Y/N close, pressing a kiss to her hair. “You did it, doll.” He rocked them. “You did it.”

“Bucky…” she whispered, pushing away to see his face. “I—“

“Everyone, on my position,” Steve directed over the comms. “We have incoming.”

“What the hell?” Nat wondered.

“Cap,” Bruce said, “that’s him.”

“Eyes up,” Steve ordered. “Stay sharp.”

“Get us down there, Y/N,” Bucky said. “We have to help them.”

Arriving through a portal, ready to fight, Y/N and Bucky watched as Steve didn’t even get to strike before he was set back by purple energy from the Power Stone. T’Challa tried next. His armor was fully charged, kinetically, and he leaped high, claws extended. He was easily grabbed by the throat and punched to the ground, his armor discharging violently. Falcon was next, swooping in, but was stopped when his wings became rubbery and unable to sustain flight.

As Rhodey tried to stop Thanos next, Y/N noticed Vision and Wanda off to the side. Vision was kneeling before Wanda as she was channeling her energy towards the Mind Stone. Bucky rushed up to Thanos next, only to be punched away by the Power Stone. With a shaky breath, Y/N stood in front of Thanos.

“There you are, my little one,” Thanos smirked. “You took something from me.”

“It wasn’t yours to keep,” you responded.

“You know, the Stones warned me about a person able to channel them and use them to destroy me. I just didn’t imagine them like… this.”

“And I didn’t imagine you purple, but I guess we all have our disappointments.”

“I know what you did with the Soul Stone. You're foolish to think that could possibly stop me.”

“You’re foolish to think I can’t.”

Channeling the Stones, Y/N began to fling debris and rocks at the Titan. Only for him to block and destroy them before he was hit, also by using the Stones. Okoye flung a spear at Thanos as Y/N tried to keep him distracted. Unfortunately, Thanos was still able to throw both Okoye and the spear to the side, all while fighting Y/N and wrapping Natasha in bands of Earth. Groot tried to use the roots to stop the Titan, but Thanos easily broke them as he blocked Y/N’s assaults.

Finding a lucky moment of weakness, Thanos was able to fling Y/N across the clearing. He marched over there, ready to punch her, but Steve slid under his fist. The Captain screamed as he tried to hold Thanos off. Thanos, though, slammed his other fist into Steve’s head, rendering him insensible.

“Steve,” Y/N muttered, crawling over to her brother. She gently shook him. “Steve, come on.” Nothing.

Panting and aching, Y/N looked up just in time to see Wanda holding back Thanos while finishing off the Mind Stone. Y/N gasped sharply as a pain rolled over her whole body. Thanos walked closer to Wanda as their energies subsided and Vision fell over, lifeless.

“I understand, my child,” Thanos said. “Better than anyone.”

“You could never,” she snarled.

He reached down, stroking her hair. “Today, I lost more than you can know. But now is no time to mourn. Now… is no time at all.”

He reached forward, clenching the gauntlet. The Time Stone glowed and flowed green energy around his fist. In response, time began to reverse. Y/N could feel the Soul Stone and Mind Stone repairing themselves.

“No,” she gasped. Trying to stand up, she watched as the Mind Stone and Vision became intact and conscious once again.

“No!” Wanda screamed, lunging for Vision before she was swatted away.

Thanos picked up Vision by the throat, lifting him to eye level before digging his hand into Vision’s forehead and yanking out the Mind Stone. He pulled it loose and Vision immediately went limp and colorless. Y/N tried to run over there, only to be knocked down by Thanos tossing Vision at her.

Setting the Mind Stone in place, Y/N noticed the Soul Stone appearing in front of Thanos. Angrily, Y/N portaled in front of him.

“There’s nothing you can do to stop me now, my child,” Thanos smirked.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t try,” Y/N responded.

She opened a small portal, using it to grab the Soul Stone before Thanos could. Thanos growled as his hand swiped over where hers just disappeared. Before Y/N could do anything, suddenly she was wrapped up in roots and slammed against a large tree. She groaned at the impact she took, especially where her head was concerned. Thanos marched over, chuckling darkly.

“You can’t over power me, even with the Stones on your side,” Thanos said.

Taking a shaky breath, Y/N tried to channel the Stones to get free. Her breath hitched as she could feel the Stones but they wouldn’t let her use them.

“We told you this had to happen,” the Stones taunted her thoughts. “We told you that we would stop you.”

Y/N breathed shakily as Thanos used the power of the gauntlet on her. She screamed out in pain as her had was forced open and the Soul Stone was freed. Thanos smirked as he took the Stone and put it back in place. The energy surge from the gauntlet caused Thanos to bellow and Y/N to cry out in pain again. She could feel it all, but not access the power. Tears built up in her eyes as she met Thanos’.

“I’m so sorry, my child,” he said, not sounding sincere at all. “I wish there was another way.”

He lifted the gauntlet at Y/N, powering it up. Bracing herself, she clenched her eyes shut and turned away. But before Thanos could blast her, a bolt of lightning strikes him, digging him into the ground and grinding him back. Thor arrived, eyes glowing with power. He raised his new ax above his head and hurled it at the Titan. Thanos fired with the whole might of the gauntlet against it, but it didn’t slow the ax. The ax slammed right into Thanos’ chest. Thor landed in front of Thanos.

“I told you,” he growled. “You’d die for that!”

Thor took hold of the back of Thanos’ head and forced his ax in deeper. He stared at Thanos angrily as the Titan cried out in pain.

“You should have…” Thanos said weakly. “You… You should have gone for the head.” He lifted up the gauntlet and snapped his fingers.

“NO!” Thor screamed.

Y/N let out a scream that sounded that she was dying, cause she sure felt like it. She could feel the Stones working together to complete Thanos’ plan.

“What’d you do?” Thor asked. “WHAT’D YOU DO?!”

Y/N cried as Thanos used the Space Stone and disappeared. She was still suck on the tree. Steve stumbled into the clearing, holding his left side.

“Where’d he go?” Steve asked. “Thor… where’d he go?”

“Steve?” Bucky called, coming into the clearing. “Y/N?”

Bucky and Y/N made eye contact as he suddenly stumbled over and collapsed into ashes. Steve, in shock, walked over and touched the ground where Bucky’s ashes were.

“BUCKY!” Y/N screamed. “NO!”

Letting out a loud, sorrowful cry, the roots holding Y/N to the tree burned off her and she fell to her knees. She could feel the Stones letting her access them again, almost in a taunting way. With heaving breaths, Y/N lifted her head up and watched Wanda, Sam, Groot, and T’Challa all disappear, turning into ash like Bucky.

“NO!” She screamed again, unleashing a wave of power from her that rippled across the battlefield. “No….” She whispered.

~~~

On Titan, the team was collecting themselves. Mantis propped up Star-Lord, Spider-Man helped Tony to his feet, while Drax and Nebula managed to limp over on their own.

“Something’s happening,” Mantis said before disintegrating into ashes.

Quill looked behind him to see Drax disintegrate.

“Quill?” Drax said as he dissolved.

Quill stared in horror as he turned back to Tony, who was starting to panic.

“Steady, Quill,” Tony told him.

“Aw, man,” Quill said, also disintegrating.

“Tony,” Strange called calmly, “there was no other way.” Then he disappeared as well.

“Mr. Stark?” Peter said, realizing he was fading away. Tony stared, horrified. “I don’t feel so good…”

“You’re alright,” Tony said, trying to be calm but his voice was shaking and he was looking at Peter in terror.

Peter was stumbling towards Tony, terrified. “I don’t know what’s— I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t—“ He fell into Tony’s arms, clutching him tight while beginning to cry. “I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go, Mr. Stark, please. Please, I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go… I’m sorry.”

And then Peter turned to ash in Tony’s arms. Tony fell forward from the lack of weight in his arms, staring at his hands in disbelief.

“He did it,” Nebula stated.

~~~

Steve, Thor, Rhodey, Nat, Bruce, and Rocket were all mourning near Vision’s dead body. Y/N was still on her knees beneath the tree, holding and rocking herself as she cried.

“What is this?” Rhodey asked. “What the hell is happening?”

“… oh, God.”

next chapter >

NOTES: from now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

#tony stark x reader #bucky barnes x reader #the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #marvel x reader #Phil Coulson x Reader #iron man x reader #tony stark imagine #bucky barnes imagine #steve rogers x reader #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #winter soldier x reader #Avengers infinity war #infinity war #the infinity stones

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captainsimagines · 4 years ago

Text

To Topple A Giant || Chapter Two

Summary: You had made it your mission to destroy even the smallest evils. When the opportunity arises to finally take down your own family after years of gaining their trust, you reach for it. And so does Steve, the man who represents a symbol of everything you hate.

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader || Avengers x Reader

Part 2 of 10 ~ Mini-Series

Warnings: This story contains mature themes and discussions such as extreme canon violence, strong language, emotional angst, mentions of Endgame deaths and recoveries, sexual situations, and emotional/physical abuse. All trigger warnings will be listed before the chapter. This is purely fanfiction.

Warnings in this chapter: brief reference/hint to past sexual assault.

Word Count: 7,500+

A/N: Thank you so much for your excitement about this series! I always smile when I read your comments. Sorry for such a long chapter, but it’s only ten parts and I gotta fit all somewhere lol

Unknown Location, 2015, 10:46pm

The tightness of the rope wrapped around your wrists was excruciating, each movement causing it to rub against the already damaged skin, leaving more angry, red marks. You whipped your head back and forth, anger and fear coursing through your veins as you stared your father down. You watched as he carefully maneuvered his way around the room, every back straightening as he walked past them, every gun cocked and pointed right at you. Your nose twitched up as he walked closer, inspecting the ropes tying your feet to the chair and so on. You accumulated all the spit you could and aimed it for his face, pride washing over you as it hit him perfectly. But as quickly as that pride built, it shattered, a stinging sensation on your cheek now overpowering any other sense.

“You cost me ten million.”

You bit back a laugh, careful not to let it slip as you did not want another beating. “I did what I had to do. You would have done the same!”

“Don’t tell me what I would have done!”

You flinched inwardly, your face still blushing with growing madness. If only you could loosen these bonds…

“You will know to not mess up again.”

And as your father left the room, the men lined up against the wall finally let their shoulders fall forward, their once blank faces now donning sadistic smiles.

The Compound, 2018, 2:07am

You sat up from your mound of pillows, kicking them to the side as well as the heavy blanket. Your ears rang impossibly loud, and it wasn’t until your feet touched your bedroom floor that you could hear yourself screaming. Your body was drenched in sweat, sliding easily on your wood floor as you kicked to escape the blanket.

Sharp knocks against your door startled you, sudden ‘please, don’t!’’s escaping your mouth. Hyperventilating was always tiring, you thought, and the air was now super cold as you sucked it into your lungs.

“Doll, please? I’m coming in.”

The light from the hallway blinded you so you lifted your arm up as a temporary shield.

“No, no! I’m good… I didn’t lose it. Please, trust me!”

“Y/N…”

You lowered your arm and stared at your nighttime intruder, instincts kicking in upon settling your teary eyes on him and causing you to groan in displeasure.

“Don’t look at me.”

“Y/N.”

“I said don’t look at me.”

Steve sighed in defeat and walked back to your door. You thought he was going to simply leave you be, letting you ride out this panic attack alone like all the others. But he shut the door and made his way over to your couch on the other side of the room, plopping himself down and leaning his sleepy head in his right hand. It had been six months since the world literally fell apart, an unknown feeling of terror that simply sat at the pit of stomachs eating away at whatever sanity its host still had, plaguing the world. Tiredness was second nature, never actually reducing its power no matter how much sleep one got. But leaving you here to suffer each individual thread being pulled from your remaining sanity, alone, wasn’t an option.

“Why are you staying?”

“I have nightmares, too. You aren’t that special.”

You rolled your eyes, hands now massaging your aching chest. “It wasn’t anything.”

“Y/N, you were screaming for help.”

“I scream for a lot of things.”

You figured Steve would succumb to his growing annoyance, but he stayed patient.

“Was it about…?”

You sighed and pulled yourself up to your feet, knees wobbly and thighs alerting you of the droplets of sweat that beaded down your legs. “No. I don’t dream about the snap.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You let out a rather angry sigh. You were now rubbing your eyes, cleaning them of the accumulation of hard mucus. “I seriously don’t want to talk about this particular incident.”

Steve huffed through his nose and you were ready to pounce on him to tear that beard from his face, but stopped when you saw his small smile and genuine empathy in his eyes. “Okay, I won’t push you.”

You just stared at him, eyes wide and confused. But you nodded slowly, eyes now diverting to the blanket below you.

“I’m just so fucking happy the snap took my father.”

Steve’s lifted his head quickly by your abrupt confession, eyebrows furrowed and lips frozen, as if wrapped around a lost word he couldn’t verbally address. He understood, but it shocked him nonetheless.

He ignored it, or at least chose to avoid an immediate discussion about it, and stood from your couch.

“Are you going to be okay?”

You wanted to throw him out. Him being across the room and near the wall was starting to trigger more flashbacks.

It’s Steve. It’s just Steve.

“Can you stay?”

Steve stumbled slightly in his step, clearly uncomfortable with your request. But he was a good man and when one of his teammates needed help, he would do whatever he could. And you were one of the only teammates he had left.

“Okay,” he said. But as he made his way back to the couch and away from you, sudden racks of itchiness stretched from your wrists to the middle of your chest. You stumbled from the bed, arms extended outward as if you were still shielding yourself from some incoming attack.

“No, no! Just…”

Steve watched your movements carefully, trying to discern between fear or awkwardness. He sighed and let you see his hands, turning them over in the air.

“It’s me. Tell me where you want me.”

You were in control. Just tell him where you want him.

“I’ll lay here,” you started, getting back into the right side of the bed and pulling the covers up to your hips. “You there, but upside down.”

Steve chuckled and followed your commands. You watched him walk, feeling the dip of your mattress as his heavy body lay down. You were grateful when his sock-covered feet touched your left side pillow, his chuckles gaining volume as he tried to get comfortable.

“Do I at least get a blanket?”

“Oh!” you leapt from the bed and to the closet. He listened to your soft pitter-patter as you shuffled across the cold floor, shutting his eyes to relish in the childish melody. You passed Steve two heavy blankets, mindful of the cold weather outside. Then you climbed back into bed, passing Steve a few pillows, and snuggling back into your own.

A few shifts of the blankets made you open your eyes again. Steve was not as stiff as you expected him to be - almost like he wanted to help you - and you mentally slapped yourself remembering that he would do this for Bucky.

“Steve?”

“Hmm?”

You took solace in the fact that he couldn’t see the tiny grin on your face. “Thank you.”

Steve smiled up at the ceiling, thankful that he could still help others even when he himself was falling apart. “You’re welcome.”

Present Day, 2025, 9:45am

If anyone were to truly study Steve, they would see he was starting to act his age. He enjoyed fluffy socks, tea instead of coffee, sketching in the secluded garden of the new compound - anything a man pushing a hundred would truly enjoy. And he found himself shaving less, watching every new movie released regardless of genre, and eating much more oatmeal than usual. He remembers how whenever Bucky had saved up just enough for them to splurge on items they never usually indulged in, oatmeal would always be his go to. It was still a common ‘peasant’ meal for the two young bachelors, but Bucky would heat it up with fresh milk he had bought that morning, added the fresh strawberries and dates that were in season, and sprinkled brown sugar - damn, Steve loved brown sugar - on top. Bucky would place the bowl in front of Steve, ignoring Steve’s constant blabbering about ‘Buck, we can’t afford this’, or ‘you don’t need to spend your hard-earned money on me, you jerk’. But he would quickly shut up once Bucky’s perfected oatmeal recipe landed on his eager tongue and filled his happy stomach. Regardless of those past memories of young roommates searching for loose change in their couch and more recent ones of two reunited best friends sharing looks of awe whenever they saw how much milk and brown sugar now costs, Steve was certain the old man in him was just barely emerging.

He definitely didn’t skip the irritated attitude phase every old man seemed to develop as the years passed, his resting facial expressions and movements starting to match those of his best friend. Grumpy, tired all the time regardless of the serum, and asking each other instead of the modern people around them how to work their phones. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed, or go on a jog, or watch a movie - anything - rather than having to give a briefing about something he hadn’t had to think about for seven years. And although he had the chance to use the stones before and didn’t, Steve couldn’t quite help wishing that he was transported back to his and Bucky’s old and crumbling apartment, fighting over that one knitted blanket Bucky had bought for the both of them with his last dime.

You seemed happier with your whole family situation after the snap, but he never wanted to ask. Whether you were putting on a brave face for him, he was rid of it momentarily only to be pushed into the chaos all over again. But this time was different because you were finally going to end it all. Finish what you had started all those years ago - then maybe Steve could take that afternoon nap he wanted.

“Talk to me. How are we doing this?”

Fury pulled up a screen with all the photos and biographies, essentially a powerpoint prepared by both you and Steve.

“I’ll do whatever you ask of me, sir. But I know my family and their schemes better than anyone,” you said. Fury knew this was true and the plan would ultimately be mapped out by you. His input was always welcome, but you knew the small details - their personalities, their weaknesses, their strengths, even the way they took their coffee. You even knew which of them sampled their product before sending it off on a cross-country road trip.

Steve stood beside the monitor, using this finger to change the screen. “So, we’re looking for our physical proof. A paper trail detailing land and their product, contacts, storage units, aliases - the works.”

You nodded at Fury and your teammates. “Exactly. The hardest things to obtain will most definitely be evidence about my father’s involvement. Proof he gave the orders and profited from them.”

“Your word isn’t enough?” Sam asked.

“No, not unless I throw myself under the bus as well. It’s his word against mine unless I can prove these things were all his doing,” you responded, taking a sip from your water.

The only other people in the briefing room besides Steve and Fury were Sam, Bucky and Scott. Everyone else would get a brief overview later on this week, but these three were specifically chosen by Fury to help aid you in the actual physical fight.

“The wedding is the perfect distraction,” Scott spoke. “Almost like this was made for a heist.”

Steve released a heavy sigh, his patience already wearing thin. “Not a heist.”

“Close enough,” Scott shrugged, gaining a grin from you across the table. He smiled at your reaction and sent you a wink.

“Agent, we have to go over the basics and any new information you can provide,” Fury encouraged.

You motioned toward Steve to bring up the photos on the monitor, “Let’s start with the basics.”

Steve took over for the first portion of your presentation. You didn’t mind - in fact, the more control he had in this would certainly help ease his mind and you definitely did not want a stressed out Steve Rogers accompanying you on a twelve hour road trip.

“Ernesto Vega, father of Y/N Y/L/N, born 1950 in Guadalajara, Mexico, but because of the snap, the 80 year old is still only 75.”

“Damn, your father is old!”

You laughed at Sam’s outburst, “Yup, and I got like ten half-siblings.”

Sam sat up straighter, “No way?”

“Way.”

“Daniel Seda,” Steve continued, his voice louder. “Vega’s second in command, born 1970, currently 55 years old. Took over as top commander after the snap, and according to Y/N he didn’t take it well when everyone was brought back.”

“Hmm, threatened to put another bullet in me,” you teased, pointing at your stomach where the scar underneath your shirt had already long healed. You could have sworn you heard Steve’s breath hitch, but even if it did, he had quickly covered it by swiping the monitor.

“But her father saw this as proof of loyalty. Because no matter how much he knows Y/N hates him, she still brought him back.”

You lifted your shoulders, arms in the air as if imitating the nonverbal form of ‘oh, well!’, and your thin smile caused your cheeks to pop out comically.

“So, Seda hates you?” Bucky asked, chuckles still vibrating in his chest from your previous childish movements.

You brushed your hand through the air, “Not the first man to hate me and not the last.”

Steve snickered. You could say that again.

“The wedding will be held at Vega’s personal and private ten-acre ranch in Northern California-”

“A lovely fall wedding!”

Steve bit his tongue, eyes never leaving the monitor. “Sure… and it’s perfect. He’s wanted and he’s going to be on U.S soil.”

You stood from your chair and grabbed the electronic marker from the desk. You circled the main points of entry plus the directions of secret exits hoping to emphasize the ‘private’ part of Steve’s statement. “And since it’s his most private getaway and no one would suspect he would hide important shit on said U.S soil, I’m about ninety-eight percent sure our proof is there.”

You pulled up the blueprints and marked a giant ‘X’ on the farthest corner room in the west end. It was your father’s office.

“Ninety-eight?” Sam asked, reviewing the printed blueprints himself.

You twirled the marker between your fingers, “My dad is clever. My other two percent is telling me there’s no evidence at all.”

Scott clutched his chest in relief, “Okay, at least one outweighs the other.”

You shared another laugh with the ‘regular-sized man’.

Steve continued listing the basics, all while Fury sat toward the edge of the long table reviewing the screen. “The other two big names in the drug game are Omar Ramirez and Marcus White. Ramirez runs most things from Mexico City to San Antonio, Texas and he’s probably the least evil of them all. White runs Europe, specifically Germany and England.”

You interjected, “Ramirez focuses on the product. He orders his men to focus on the business instead of the outside world - meaning, no unnecessary kills, no violence toward women and children, no killing cops or citizens. Just producing and transporting.”

Almost forgetting he was there, Fury’s voice somewhat startled you. “Vega has lost men to Ramirez, men who wanted a change in scenery.”

You nodded in confirmation, “They aren’t necessarily enemies but they’re no besties either.”

Sam rolled the blueprints back up and handed them to Bucky. “So, we’re taking them all down?”

“The big three. Plus Seda,” Steve declared, finally taking his first sip of water in what felt like forever. If he didn’t want anyone to know he was nervous about this mission, he was for sure failing.

You hummed, “Vega and Seda are also the only ones who know of Steve’s involvement.”

“How’d that happen?” Bucky asked.

“Because Steve only ‘transports’ my father’s product. Not the others. Steve’s role is essentially to green light the passages and is my main pull,” you clarified.

It was true - Steve didn’t do or touch anything. And you thought this best considering he was America’s golden boy - you couldn’t possibly bear real involvement from him. This wasn’t his world and never should have been but it was yours.

You dealt with people directly. You took out the snitches. You handled the product during inspections. You did it all - and not because you thought Steve was some fragile soul who couldn’t achieve the same results - but because you brought him into that mess during a time in his life when he definitely didn’t need it.

“But how did it happen?”

You shrugged, hoping your answer would suffice for the rest of the group as it never does for Steve. “When I first started out as a field agent, my father didn’t trust I was doing it for him. The more I promoted, the more suspicious he got. It wasn’t until we exposed SHIELD as half-HYDRA that he was done with me.”

Fury interjected once again, “So, Y/L/N here had to pull rank out of her ass.”

You snorted, “Thanks, Fury. That sounded nice.”

“I told them that I had the literal symbol of America by my side. That defeating HYDRA was only to get his friend back, not to save the world. Plus, I told them that HYDRA was targeting all of them. And once I could get proof - a forged recording made by Fury before he went into hiding - well, it was like the greatest example of submission.”

“Why didn’t you say Tony?”

That certainly was a question Steve always had and wanted answered. God, he really hoped you had said Tony.

“Because I got the literal symbol of America as a partner-in-crime. My father almost told me he loved me... almost.”

You sat back down in your chair, a tiny puff of air escaping your lips. “And that made Seda furious. I may hate my father, but Seda is the main threat to blowing this whole operation.”

If anything, you wanted your father deader than dirt, silenced by the one child he always regretted bringing into the world. He had tortured you in more ways than you thought possible.

“Now, I thought my dad was bad.”

You fell back onto the couch before retrieving your cup of coffee you had placed on the table. Nebula gave you a tiny chuckle in return.

“Yes, mine has eradicated half the universe. I win ‘worst father’.”

You sipped your coffee, trying and failing to block out the banter between Rocket and Tony as they discussed the location of the space stone. “You know, I wouldn’t have put it past him.”

Nebula chewed her dinner slowly, listening to you ramble on about anything that popped into your mind. She knew this was your coping mechanism - to just keep talking until someone shut you up. But she enjoyed it, really, because you spoke of topics that she didn’t quite understand or know about. She learned something new everyday simply by listening to you.

“I should have thanked Thanos for dusting his ass, though.”

Nebula stopped mid-chew, blank expression but the hint of a twitch in her lip visible.

“I’m joking.”

You had asked her once why Thanos had spared her and Tony when he snapped his fingers. But Nebula had no rational answer, only responding that he must have spared her out of last minute pity and Tony to live through the consequences. And the tiny voice inside your head knocked again, reminding you that ‘maybe this snap was overall a good thing - your father can’t hurt you anymore!’, but you shut it up as quickly as it came.

“So, how many planets are there in the universe, really?”

Fury began piling files in one folder, making sure to hand out the sheet with names and contact numbers of agents stationed close to the venue and your chosen hotel.

“We’ll get into mission specifics at a later date once Rogers and Y/L/N are settled and scope out the place. For now, study up on your targets and perfect your acting skills.”

You assumed you would only need one big suitcase for the trip, only packing essentials and extra shirts just in case. You rolled your clothes tightly, securing your signature perfume and some jewelry inside some sweaters. You hid identifiable items in the small compartments - your passport, journal, old SHIELD tag, driver’s license, etc. It was the paranoid side of you taking over, the possibility of having your cover blown likely and frightening. The amount of times you had ventured into the general vicinity of your father and his crew always proved safer than you expected. But there could always be that day he simply didn’t want you around anymore.

So, you prepared in the smallest and even cringiest ways possible - resorting to drafting letters for those you wanted to remember you after you had been taken out. You paused your packing to grab your spare journal. You spent a good hour writing. A letter to Wanda, to Bucky, to Peter, to Rhodey, to Sam. Some were shorter than others - others extending to over two pages. But your mind was racing with things you hoped they would never have to read, scattered thoughts and only hints of identifiable wit penned on paper.

You tucked the letters behind the fabric you had recently ripped open. You planned on duct-taping the rip, your eyes drifting back over to your journal. You tapped your foot rapidly for a few seconds, fingers twisting in anticipation, mind still clear enough to draft one more. You quickly picked the pen right back up, sitting on the edge of your bed and starting the letter you might regret later. But at that moment, with the horrible prospect of dying on this mission, you wrote.

‘Steve,

Believe when I say that I was so sure I would put a bullet in my father before he could. Whoops…’

You wrote and wrote until your handwriting grew sloppy at the edge of the paper, and signed it. You tucked the final letter into the hole and taped it shut. You really hoped you would be able to survive and burn those written words later.

A soft knock sounded from across the room and your bedroom door opened to reveal Steve, light blue dress shirt tucked into his jeans like the old man he truly was. You couldn’t help but grin at that, cursing your involuntary actions for this man.

“Hey.”

“You doing okay?” you asked, continuing to fold clothing into your suitcase. He leaned against your door, hesitant. Steve often wondered why and how he could go days, weeks - one time even a whole month - without speaking to or seeing you. He was an expert at one word answers by now, opting to always have someone else around whenever he seriously had to carry a conversation with you. But what struck him the most was that you didn’t seem to care anymore. He witnessed the change - hell, he was the one that caused it - but it was a change that he both wanted and didn’t. How was it so easy for you?

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” he responded and walked over to your couch to sit.

You cleared your throat, hoping to make this conversation the least awkward you could. “Because this was literally sprung on both of us after almost ten years of waiting.”

“I’m okay.”

You accepted his answer. He looked comfortable enough, shoulders relaxed and genuinely interested. There was a part of you that wanted to rush over and shake him, yell at him for being so clueless and fake at the same time. There was no possible way he was fully okay with everything - he hadn’t been himself since the snap, and when Natasha and Tony died, he was someone else entirely. You had brought it up with Bucky several times, but he assured you that Steve was just dealing with things his own way. That he was still a man out of time, they both were, and battle after battle could take its toll. And Bucky would hype their therapist up, that they were the reason he and Steve are able to walk in public without that constant voice warning of danger in the back of their heads, and that you should schedule a visit sometime. You always declined, asking him to call you if he truly needed another person to talk to. He would smile, taking you up on your offer whenever a day was particularly triggering.

“I’ve been waiting for this day since I was sixteen. Ten years really just flew by… considering.”

Steve nodded, “Is there anything I should know?”

You hummed, “If you mean things about my family, then I’ll just tell you on the way there or at the hotel.”

He chuckled and stood to lean against your bedpost. “No, I mean like, what should I pack just in case?”

You rolled your eyes and laughed at such an innocent question, “Um, comfy socks. It’s pretty cold in California in the winter. Gas money, it’s pretty fucking expensive, too.”

He smiled, “Good to know.”

The two of you packed in silence for several minutes. Steve helped you roll your clothes and gather your toiletries, even asking you if you wanted to bring your current toothbrush or the new one in your bottom drawer.

You knew you shouldn’t have spoken about the topic burning in your throat, but you felt like you had to say something. If you mentioned it during the mission, you risked a larger argument than the one you would get now. So you formulated your next sentence carefully, already bracing for impact as it slipped.

“Look, the elephant in the room should be addressed. Once my father’s dealt with, I have no reason to stay here.”

Steve clipped the belt over the top of your clothes, securing the items tightly. He seemed disoriented, your sudden proclamation startling him. “What do you mean? You did the work, you trained, you helped us literally save the world.”

You shrugged and kept your voice light, “Yeah, but I started this gig when I was sixteen. I didn’t join the Avengers until I was freshly in my twenties. I’ve literally known nothing else but fighting.”

Steve sat at the edge of your bed, furrowed eyebrows and all as he chose his next words. He felt both angry and sad, a mixture of feelings that he never quite grew accustomed to whenever he was around you. They ate away at him slowly, creeping into his brain to wrap around his common sense, his sense of self, the man he was before the snap.

“Are you saying you just need a break?”

“I think,” you shrugged, zipping the suitcase and tugging its weight off your bed and onto the floor.

“What about Wanda and Bucky?”

You scrunched your face in amused confusion, a playful smile resting on your lips, “I’m not falling off the face of the Earth, Steve. I’ll visit or something.”

“Or something.”

He stood and walked back to your couch, restless and even more stressed than he was before he entered your room.

“Steve, we lost so much. It’s been two years since we brought everyone back, but… it took its toll.”

He snapped his head up, “You don’t need to tell me about shit taking its toll.”

You felt like you stared at him for several minutes, anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach and traveling up your throat. That familiar lump constricting your airway as you forced yourself to swallow it and the forming tears. And once again, your mouth spoke before your mind could approve.

“Why didn’t you use the stones for yourself?”

Steve sat, shocked into silence temporarily. “What?”

“When you and Carol put the stones back - why didn’t you stay somewhere you really wanted to be?”

You remember watching him step onto the platform holding the briefcase of infinity stones and holding Mjollnir, - because of fucking course he could wield Mjollnir, he was a good man even if you were on his bad side - simply minding his own business and waiting for Carol to join him. You remember thinking he would return with a different story, only after he got some of that life Tony had always encouraged him to find, that he would go back to Peggy and live the life he always wanted. But as quickly as they disappeared into thousands of timelines did they reappear, Carol joyful and content while Steve trailed behind her. Your heart had pounded erratically, Bucky looking at you with wide eyes because yes, I thought he would do exactly what you were thinking, too.

“None of your business.”

“I’m not trying to pry-” you reasoned, but Steve stepped toward you with flushed cheeks and a cracked voice.

“But all you do is pry, pry, pry. God, do you ever just shut up?”

All you could hear behind the ringing of your ears were Steve’s quick breaths, slowing as each second passed and he realized what he had said. A moment of weakness, in his opinion, but still uncalled for.

“Pack some snacks for the road and get out of my room.”

Steve straightened his back, eyes practically yelling for you to look at him again, pleading for you to see the remorse swimming in them. But you just tugged your suitcase to the corner of your room, ignoring him completely. “Gladly.”

You and Steve were mature enough to keep your arguments at least a hundred miles away from any mission you were conducting or when around your friends. A quick quarrel in the morning was basically nonexistent a few hours later when the whole group suggested a board game or movie night. Although this impromptu road trip would be the slightest bit awkward, you two were smart enough to not compromise the mission.

And you had to drive as flying and airport security was too risky, especially with the amount of weapons attached to your body and in the trunk of that rented car.

“Call us when you hit the first checkpoint. After that, we’ll be monitoring your hotel check-in and any new ones, police reports filed throughout that week, anything that directly involves your stay,” Bucky said, handing you a burner phone.

You stepped forward to hug him. “Thank you, Bucky.”

He gave you a tight squeeze, releasing you slightly to whisper in your ear. “Try not to kill him for the next twelve hours, will ya?”

You pulled away and gave him your best grin, bumping your bracelet with his. “You know I can’t promise that, Bucky.”

He rolled his eyes, “You kill him, I kill you.”

“Ugh, don’t tease me.” Bucky almost burst out laughing from the fake, pornographic moan you let out because of his threat.

“No, but seriously - just… lay low, trust each other, and we’ll be there in the next few days.”

You slid the burner into your sweater pocket and patted it, checking if it was secure. You waved goodbye to Bucky and pulled the passenger door open. You blew him a kiss, red lipstick now on your fingers. “Can’t wait to see you!”

Bucky stood with his hands shoved into his pockets, an embarrassed but happy smile on his face. He caught the floating kiss mid-air. “Already miss you!”

“Stop, I’m blushing!” you teased, your left hand resting palm up on your forehead in an exaggerated manner.

“Go!”

You obliged, falling into the passenger seat and clicking your seatbelt.

Twenty minutes into the drive and Steve finally decided to speak.

“So, you and Bucky?”

You giggled, thumbs currently flying over your phone screen as you tried to beat your high score in some awful video game you discovered last week. “Yup, I got him wrapped around my finger.”

Steve’s hand fidgeted on the steering wheel, “Seriously?”

You closed out your video game, “No, Steve. It’s mindless flirting. He’s one of my best friends.”

“Ahh…” he nodded in understanding, a lazy smile resting on his face. He focused on both the road and you, your head leaning against the foggy window. “About earlier-”

“Don’t mention it,” you interrupted. The second you peaked through your heavy eyelids did you lock eyes with Steve, regret visible in them.

He continued, “I blew up at you and you didn’t deserve it.”

“Cool, you’re forgiven.”

“Y/N-”

You groaned quietly, but you weren’t getting angry. You were just tired from the day already and having to sit for twelve hours straight wasn’t going to help. So, you took the high road. “Look, it’s a twelve hour drive until our first stop. Let’s forget about it or else I promise you, I will jump out of this car when you push eighty.”

Steve couldn’t help the laugh that rumbled in his chest due to your absurd promise, but he accepted your answer.

“...Okay.”

By hour two, there was a restlessness between the both of you. No matter how much you extended your leg, the cramping wouldn’t go away. No matter how many times Steve would twist his neck to the side to get it to crack, it would just tighten again. So, against protocol but still on your best behavior, you and Steve made a couple stops along the way.

The first was a burger joint in the middle of buttfuck Ohio, you had commented, earning a choking sound from Steve as he tried to contain his laughter. It was a hole in the wall type of place, perfect for lying low and out of sight, and you had enjoyed your meal in the car. You listened to Steve’s playlist on low volume, stealing each other’s fries to simply piss the other off, and hit the road after your meal.

The second stop was around hour eight, and the sun was already starting to set. You desperately needed to use the bathroom and once you saw a tiny town that ‘looks so much like the town in Gilmore Girls!’, Steve pulled over and parked in a diner parking lot. Donning caps and ordering a coffee and a tea to go to seem less suspicious, you hurried from the diner and back to your car. You stopped dead in your tracks, eyeing a gazebo with a black miniature fence around it. You begged Steve to snap a photo, promising that this would be the only favor you ask of him for the next few hours, and went to hitch one leg over the metal fence. You settled yourself on top, hands gripping the railing and trying not to fall. You started to laugh uncontrollably as the fence started hurting your bottom, begging Steve to snap the photo quicker.

‘Take the damn picture, you big oaf!’

‘Well, then hold still!’

‘It’s hurting my ass!’

‘Smile!’

The third stop was the final one, somewhere in Iowa and deep in the forest. You complained about how Fury warned you of motels, that you would have to seek shelter elsewhere to avoid being recognized. You could easily blend in, but the mountain of muscle beside you would blow your cover. And you wanted to arrive in California undetected by the media.

Steve drove the car into a dark and secluded part of the forest, ground that seemed used by campers often and had an emergency phone and landline nearby. It was secret enough, so you parked the car and retrieved the blankets from the trunk.

“You taking the back?” Steve asked, jumping back into the car and rubbing his hands together because of the chilly weather. His face was flushed from just a few seconds out in the cool breeze, nose frozen and the tip red. He looked younger, you thought, somewhat resembling those renditions of Greeks in renaissance art.

“You’ve been driving all day. You should stretch your legs,” you answered, already wrapping the blanket up to your shoulders and securing it around your neck.

“You sure? We can alternate.”

You smiled, already feeling the effects of the warmth on your tired body, “I’m sure, Steve. Get some rest and I’ll drive in the morning.”

Steve exited the car after turning it off - sucks that you had to save the gas - and hopped into the backseat. He kicked off his shoes and lay across the connected seat, facing you. He could see the outline of your nose as you tilted your head slightly to the side, the blanket wrapped around your neck and hiding the real length of your hair. It resembled a bob cut by how half of it was hidden, and Steve thought that hairstyle would suit you.

Your personal phone rang, cutting through the comfortable silence and startling the both of you. You fumbled it in your hand and looked back at Steve, face falling as you showed him the name.

Seda.

“Answer it on the third ring.”

You did as Steve told you, answering the phone on the third ring and preparing your voice. He scrambled for the tape recorder, pressing ‘play’ as soon as he could.

“You rarely call me. To what do I owe the pleasure?” you answered.

His voice sounded hoarse over the phone, almost like he had just finished smoking a pack of cigarettes. “Are you attending?”

“My dear sister is getting married, Seda. Of course I’m going to embarrass her.”

He paused for a few moments, sounding like he was directing the people around him to finish something. But he responded to your answer in a serious tone. “I hope you’re being your usual sarcastic self and aren’t serious.”

You rolled your eyes and pointed at the phone, and Steve’s lips spread into a smile. “You’ve known me long enough to know, I hope.”

“Sadly.”

“I’m hurt,” you joked, voice still light and cheerful. Seda paused on the line again, the sound of papers rustling letting you know the line was still active.

“I need to know if the Captain is attending too.”

“He was invited,” you responded, laughing a little at the fact that Seda hadn’t known this information you were sure the rest of your family knew.

He chuckled, a slight whistle sound letting you know he was smoking another cigarette. “Mm, guess your family is finally meeting your lover, huh?”

The air in your mouth didn’t make it down to your lungs and you looked at Steve with equally wide eyes. But you didn’t stay fazed for long, responding to such an accusation with ease. “My lover, yes. I’m so damn giddy about that.”

Seda hummed in satisfaction, “Your father always told you to not get involved with the product. Scrambles your brains from thinking straight. But he applauds you on this one.”

You put a finger in your mouth and mimicked gagging, causing Steve to cover his mouth to muffle his laugh. “I’ve never mentioned the Captain as my lover before. Why is my father always right?”

You knew exactly what to say. The more backhanded praise you gave your father only fed into the truth and lies everyone knew - truth being you hated your father because of his power and the lie being that you were just as power hungry as him. As long everyone assumed you wanted this power, the more you had to act like you hated your father’s.

“He knows more than he lets on. You know that.”

“I know a lot of things.”

Seda continued, “No friends allowed, anyway. So, if the Captain isn’t your lover then… we may have problems. Is there a problem?”

You kept your voice at a steady volume, “I said I was with him, didn’t I? Have you seen the man?”

“Seen him, heard him speak. So righteous and dull. Not really your type.” Seda was growing impatient with the conversation, clearly angry that he hadn’t caught a slip or lie from you.

You scrunched your face in disgust, “Ew, don’t think you know my type.”

“Buck, ‘my type’ is back home with a warm chicken noodle soup in my lap and a couple of loose papers at my disposal,” Steve whined, trying to keep the same pace as his overly enthusiastic friend as he hurried down the sidewalk.

“She’s such a knockout, Steve! I’m sure she’ll love you.”

Steve couldn’t help but blush at Bucky’s kind words, the hype always repairing some parts of Steve’s broken self-esteem and reminding him of his worth. But it was his third date this month and rejection was starting to seem like his favorite sport. No matter what he did - offering a girl some peanuts, accidentally stepping on her (once!) feet while dancing, or simply not living up to Bucky’s gracious advertising - women just weren’t interested.

“You know that’s not true, Buck. Can’t we just have a quiet night in?”

Bucky stopped and guided them into the nearby alley, both to knock some sense into his friend and to give Steve a break from the tiny jog.

“Listen here, Steve. Any girl would be lucky to be with you-”

“Buck, we’ve been through this-”

“Let me finish,” Bucky shushed him, hands on Steve’s shoulders to steady both him and himself. “Any girl would be lucky to be with you. If this one doesn’t see you how I see you, then she’s just insane.”

Steve smirked, “Don’t insult the girl before I’ve even met her, jerk.”

Bucky smiled, his high cheeks pushing up to create crinkles by his eyes. “Trust me, pal. You just need to find a woman with as big of a mouth as you.”

Steve swatted his friend across his chest, laughs rumbling in both their chests and down the once quiet alleyway.

“What hotel are you staying at?” Seda quickly asked, ignoring your quip. You were done with this conversation as it was leading nowhere.

“Staying at one where no one can hear the Captain scramble my brains. Goodbye,” you replied, an annoyance in your tone that even Seda would believe as natural.

“See you soon.”

You let Seda end the call, a little power play you allowed him to have. God, it was gonna feel good to take him down.

Steve shifted in his seat, stopping the recorder in time for his question. He cleared his throat awkwardly, “Why did your dad assume we were a couple?”

You gave him a tiny chuckle, pulling the blanket back over your shoulders and settling back into your seat. “I don’t know why that man says anything anymore. I guess they just expected it.”

“Why?”

No matter how many years passed, both awake or frozen, Steve never did quite understand the sexual appeal that lingered around his name. No matter how many times Bucky joked about it, no matter the amount of social media posts, no matter anything - he just didn’t seem to understand why people thought he was a ladies man.

You snuggled deeper into your blanket, scanning the outside woods one last time just in case. “You wouldn’t risk your reputation and status for me unless you were fucking me, I guess.”

“Crude.”

You turned your head to him and sighed, “They think I’m the whore of the family. It’s just too funny sometimes.”

Steve’s face fell, “I’m sorry about that.”

You shuffled in your blanket to pull your arm out and wave it in the air. “Used to it.”

Steve didn’t press further, deciding to lay back finally to find a cozier position. It was quiet for a few minutes, just breathing and slight motion disturbing the silence. You opened your eyes and stared at the moonlight hitting the steering wheel. By the sound of Steve’s breathing, you knew he wasn’t fully asleep yet. So you allowed yourself the smallest confession, a crack in the door Steve was figuratively standing outside of.

“My sister is his prized possession, though.”

Steve didn’t respond, but from the sound of the blanket moving you could tell he had turned to face you.

“Never knew why.”

Steve pondered your words for a long time, long after your breathing became slower and tiny snores left your mouth. He didn’t exactly know what to say or what to do. It wasn’t like you dropped top secret information on him or anything, but it made him wonder just why in the world your father hated you so much.

You had done everything asked of you. You were controlled, tortured mentally everyday, having to endure and make decisions that Steve knew you didn’t want any part of. Your father should be thanking you for keeping his business afloat, for expanding it, for roping Steve’s own name into that life. As he contemplated any rational reason for such hate, he heard your soft snore turn into an innocent purr, and he felt himself leaning more into a mutual understanding. It frightened him, gripping his reality by the throat, because Steve actually knew why. That innocence he saw with you, no doubt had presented itself to your father involuntarily and your father knew.

He knew you were good at heart.

Taglist: @dumb-ass-writer @justab-eautifulmess @supraveng @mycosmicparadise

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egyptian-sun-god · 3 years ago

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Never Have I ever S2

SPOILERS.....Turn back now I’m serious.

I’m waiting....

Okay cool your fault at this point

I was fairly critical of NHIE S1, I won’t lie. And I’ll be real I still stand by the fact that NHIE S1 was fairly meh overall.

But holy shit, they knocked this season outta the world man. The show really really found its proper footing this season. They were smart to keep the cheating for only two episodes and explore the repercussion for the other 8.

1.Devi Vishwakumar.

Let’s start with the main character. Devi still does immensely fucked up shit this season. Dating two boys and have them find out in the MOST humiliating way possible. Yikes. Being a really sucky friend to Aneesa and starting that rumour about her (inadvertently) and pretending to her. Stalking her mother and being possessive of her. The really awful apology that was pretty self centred, a bit not good.

But she really does do her best to improve and I am SO proud of that. She uses her father’s advice and apologizes better to Aneesa, she actually handled the Ben and Aneesa dating WAAAAY better than I’ve seen some people handle things like that. I might’ve blown a fuse if two of my friends had 4 tickle fights and had major PDA sessions when we were trying to do a group project. Like she handled that shit fairly well all things considered. Devi actually gets into the beginnings of delving into her trauma and her temporary paralysis and healing from it. I

really see how the label ‘crazy’ weighs on her and how she blew up with it and the message of destigmatizing mental illness. (Crazy Aneesa and Crazy Devi) Her properly bonding with her mother and watching videos of her father and remembering/honouring his memory hit REALLY HARD (since I lost many people in my family recently and that fear of forgetting them has been real). Devi is actually beginning to heal from the loss of her father by strengthening the relationship with her Amma. And the slap from Paati was so so needed, it really gave her a better respect of her mother and fixed the problem I had with Devi mouthing off so much to her Amma. I live to see good maamiyar marumagal relationships. Her relationship with Paxton is really good and it gets developed very logically and having her be scared of being pathetic but in the end she accepted her own self worth and stopped chasing after them which was good.

Overall Devi really blossomed into her own developing person and I actually like her so much more this season.

2. Paxton Hall Yoshida

I was honestly, like genuinely sad last season he was like 80% eye candy with not much else going for him. Paxton had so much faith as a character and Ms Kaling has really pulled him into such a better person this season.

Paxton got hit by a car before swim season, lost his ticket to college and wow, got two timed by a girl he liked all in two episodes. If he was salty about that for more than one season I would’ve completely accepted it. Cause that’s a bad public humiliation.

Paxton episode really really made me love him as a character (honestly more so than Ben) I think because I heard Paxton’s entire worry and irritation that he was being underestimated and no one really expected him to go to college from a friend of mine not more than a month ago. That shit is real, and it hurted my friends a lot that people were really underestimating them and just seeing them as a dumb athlete who has no hope of college. It’s really nice to see Paxton actually want to go to college and learn Japanese American side with his Oji-chan giving him advice and supporting him. And him bringing his grandfather to speak about the internment camps, that seriously do not get spoken about enough.

Also him putting effort and making a genuine effort to work hard and bring up his grades with Devi and therefore bonding with her was really nice to see. I wouldn’t mind them being endgame but Devi does really work a lot better as his pushy Indian mom/best friend/tutor. And Devi getting mad at him for him expecting him to hold his hand throughout really hit well. Was it deserved yeah. But Devi also did blow him off after promising him to study so his anger is justified there. I’m just kinda vibing with Paxton like coming up and taking a better interest in school and being a full 3D character. And that one scene where he gives the extra credit presentation and Trent high fives the man. Classic.

Can I also just say, it’s kinda valid that Paxton didn’t want to date her in public. Is it a dick move...yeah? But he’s within his rights to ask and she’s within her rights to deny. And he didn’t press her once she said no, he went along with it. And what Devi pulled on him is awful, and speaking as someone who’s seen popular kid cliques. Reputation really is important. Like what Devi did made Paxton lose face, if he gets back with Devi he ain’t gonna have any respect left in him. And Paxton was pretty right in deciding to not date her publicly, like even in the end he knows that his reputation is shot for what he did. Do we even know if Paxton has friends that aren’t fixated on his social status? Because becoming a social pariah without having any support of friends is gonna hurt like a bitch. Lord knows how Paxton gonna deal with it. I think Trent might be his only homie after the social downfall he will inevitably face.

I’m just gonna say, Paxton is my favourite now and I’m really rooting for him. Something I decidedly did not do last season. I’m happy Ms Kaling developed him so much and got me interested.

3. Ben Gross

Ah. Ben. Ben’s not my faaavouriteee.......like he’s fine. But I don’t love him. I can definitely see him and Devi becoming an almost endgame couple though. Especially with S2 ending.

Ben is fine and he’s pretty developed, especially with his episode in S1 and it was good he took a backseat this season and let everyone else star. I feel like he’ll come back strong next season though.

Personally do I ship him with Devi? No. I’ve been in a friendship with the similar competitive dynamic as Ben and Devi. And it was terrible. We loved to argue and we got each other’s super brainy side as Devi puts it. But we pushed each other faar too much and even the small things became arguments and each pthers achievements became jealousy. So yeah....I don’t have too much faith in the dynamic due to personal bias, but I’d love to see how it gets handled.

Also my brother Ben, PDA is a thing and it is common courtesy to refrain from it. Man’s really going at it with Aneesa half the time. But also the moment where Aneesa sort of choked on the presentation and Ben’s irritation at it gave me BAAAD vibes. It feels like while Devi can match him, they might push each other too far,

4. Kamala

I LOVE KAMALA. Girl is an ENTIRE vibe. My sweetheart, love of my life. I could go on. I really like her development as well and the banter between her and Nalini. The part where Nalini practically said she looked like a call girl and she was like ippadi potathaan velaila mariyaatha kidaikum. I legit had to pause, scream in laughter for a good few seconds.

They had such a good story with her and wanting to fight against the fact that they took her work and didn’t credit her and everyone was telling her to like take it bowing. Prasanth’s advice unfortunately checked out to me, because I’ve been told that all my life. My dad says it a lot and I know he doesn’t say it cause’ he doesn’t believe in me, but he loves me and wants my life to be easier and for me to succeed and his experience is that he’s had to deal with things like this and fighting won’t help. So yeah, what Prasanth said did not rub me the wrong way at all and I agreed with it and I’m fairly disappointed about that. I get that she got nervous and had cold feet about marriage but I do hope she and Prasanth can work this out through communication. Because I really don’t feel like Prasanth is the bad guy here. It’s just a miscommunication.

So yeah, a LOT of Kamala’s storyline continues to really hit me hard.

5. Nalini Vishwakumar

Nalini really had so much more screentime to blossom. I love that she has a good relationship with Mohan’s amma. It’s wonderful and I love it. Also I was shocked to see the house in Chennai. Like this house...in Chennai. The Chennai I’m used to and the Chennai they are used to are different Chennai’s. Basically wealth gap is crazy as hell and I was lowkey highkey confused if the actually shot this shit in Chennai. But props to the directors for putting some proper Tamil vibes in there. Like the scene where they kaala thottu kumbudurathu (touch the elder’s feet) before they leave for the US is so real and so vibes. I like that they decided to bring paati back. I was like hoping for it.

Also they really went at developing Nalini’s character as a workaholic mom who doesn’t get her daughter. That’s also a really common thing in Indian households with one working parent so I’m happy they portrayed that. I’m happy Nalini actually has a life outside her family portrayed and is still such a typical mother that it hits HARD. I love Nalini and she really developed as a character dealing with grief from Mohan’s death, the wish to move on with Dr.Jackson but knowing that she isn’t ready yet.

They gave her character a life and proper working outside Devi and it really has shown to develop her character and impact her relationship with Devi. The advice to “just say yes” works with cousins and younger siblings as well, I’ve heard it before and used it..and it saves so much time. Especially with small children.

(A memory I have is of my younger cousin going on and on about a princess and a castle and fighting a dragon and the witches and so much fantasy shit and ended with do you wanna come? I just clocked off my CCA’s and I had no energy left to question it so I just went yeah sure. Easiest decision, and 10/10 advice. )

6. Aneesa

I’m not gonna lie. I was skeptical of Aneesa and I didn’t like how Devi saw her in the trailer. But Aneesa reminds me so much of me....and its killing me.

Also the scene where she charms the hell out of Nalini and paati ma has literally happened to me before. Most of my Indian friends hate it..because I was raised with a lot more traditional manners with my grandparents so me and my siblings all are old fashioned which parents LOVE. And I really saw that Aneesa charming them and Devi also realizing, Damn none of my friends actually treat my family the way they should be treated, perks of having an Indian friend.

Also the scene where she gets Devi out of trouble is so so real. Because if you have one responsible friend that you parents trust, you could lie the hell to them, get you homie to back you up and it will work. Personal experience. So yeah, Aneesa character resonated with me a lot.

I also like that she wasn’t just a popular 1D Indian girl but she was genuinely cool and actually had proper issues and development where she gets more open to Sherman Oaks and actually kinda properly rebels against Noor, with having Ben as a boyfriend.

I feel like Aneesa has a lot more potential for growth, especially with the relationship with Ms Noor and Aneesa acting as a foil to Nalini and Devi’s. Also, I feel like Aneesa can grow within her social status at school as well and have Devi maturely handle it. Aneesa I feel will really really challenge Devi’s ability to be mature.

7. Eleanor and Fabiola’s plotlines

Okay like actually, major props to Ms Kaling man. This show touches so so many teen issues in one goddamn show. Emotionally manipulative relationships. So SO good. A lot of newer age relationships have a much more subtle and dangerous line of abuse that’s hard to find out. Like honestly it took me a while to see it as well and I realized oh fuck. oh fuck...I see it it’s bad. They really got the essence of Eleanor’s flamboyance matching with Malcom? (is it Malcolm..fuck it it’s Malcolm now) his “suaveness” and traditionally charming tendency. It made sense and it’s very realistic how Eleanor got played like a damn fiddle. I also again feel that the make up was faar to quick but I really appreciate that Eleanor got her own storyline with her step-mom and understanding of relationships instead of the show hyperfocusing on just Devi. I respect that a lot. Petition to get a Eleanor narration episode.

Fabiola’s storyline also was well taken. It’s an interesting added layer to the queer experience and how queerness can be expected to be performative and but really its all about being more of yourself. The idea that queer people don’t owe nobody anything or have to perform an ideal version of queerness and Fabiola struggling with that kinda hit. The part where they talked about her mother learning to support them and being Cricket? Queen/King. Like being trailblazers for the POC community and the LGBTQ+ community having overlapping struggles. Again, I liked that Fabiola was getting more personal screentime and less of her story revolving around Devi’s.

8. Everything else

I liked that there was more Tamil being casually thrown around. Like the Kamala vaadi to hold the suitcase down as they zipped it together was funny and relatable. The accents were really interesting because I promise you, I had no clue what they were saying sometimes. Nalini’s dialogues in Tamil were like immensely difficult to understand, and my Tamil is fluent. This isn’t a criticism... I’m fairly certain the difference is to do with the regional difference. American Tamil and Malaysian + rural Tamil slang are going to have huge accent differences so there’s no surprise that I found Nalini’s Tamil hard to understand.

I’m really really really meh about the Kamala and Manish/Mr Kulkarni thing. I still think she should sort it out with Prasanth maybe but I’m open to seeing where it goes. I might change my mind with it.

This show like any other show had its highs and lows. But I really really do feel that NHIE season 2 managed to truly figure out what the hell it wants to do and developed into a very strong and very entertaining show in terms of representation and diversity. I’m looking forward to season 3.

#nhie netflix #nhie season 2 #nhie s2 #nhie spoilers #nhie review #never have i ever #never have i ever season 2 #never have i ever spoilers #i have a lot of thoughts #bear with me here

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pa-panda-heroes · 4 years ago

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May i have headcanons for Shinsou, Shigaraki and Dabi x female reader and they are doing the Kabe-don thing to seduce them?🖤

yo if someone kabedon’ed me i would either drop me panties or tHROW HANDS I-

also, “seducing” - i’m assuming it’s okay if this gets a bit n.s.f.w? please tell me if i’m wrong!!

Shinsou, Shigaraki, and Dabi seducing a female!reader with kabedon!

Hitoshi:

Hitoshi can be quiet and stoic at times, but he’s also gutsy and knows how to intimidate people. He’d never use his quirk on you - and he certainly wouldn’t have to.

Obviously his end goal isn’t to intimidate or scare you, but doing so makes it easier for him to corner you against a wall to give it that big ole don! slap as he smirks at you devilishly while you jump in your skin.

He’ll prattle on about something completely unrelated to your situation as his other fingers reach up to play with your hair or follow the contours of your face, the gentle interaction a contrast to his slamming the wall that will catch your breath in your throat.

What has your heart actually pounding is the way his eyes roam your form, his simper still aimed directly at you as he talks about anything but.

But then he’ll finally move on to you as a topic of conversation - maybe he’ll tell you how lovely your hair look today, maybe he’ll compliment the skirt you’re wearing, maybe he’ll tell you “it’d look better on the floor, y/n, so let’s make that happen”-

Hitoshi’s brazen enough to tell you exactly what his endgame is, and the shier you are about it, the better. He loves teasing you and flustering you while you’re essentially pinned to the wall like this, he has control and that’s exaclty what he wants.

He knows where you want to be touched and where you don’t, it’s just natural to him - and he’s going to take advantage of that instinct. He’ll have you trembling and whimpering before his lips are even on you.

If he gets impatient enough, he’ll outright grab your hips and pull them towards him, telling you what a good pro hero he was today and that you should reward him-

Tomura:

If this boy kabedon’s you it’s because you won’t take his fucking hints dammit! He’s damn frustrated with you, and he’s going to take it out on that wall you just so happen to be leaning on.

He’ll literally just saunter over to you and whack the wall with not just one but both hands on each side of your head. bonus points if you’re much shorter than he is

At first you honestly have to think he’s flat out pissed and frustrated at you, because he really isn’t the smoothest shell in the sand and his hints aren’t as obvious as he thinks, not to mention the look in his eyes that’s almost downright feral.

Tomura will firstly call you out for “taunting” him by wearing such a low-cut, tight shirt that shows off your features so well, which finally tells you what he’s on about. You’ll realize that frustration you saw before was something entirely different than you thought as soon as his hand leaves the wall in favor of the hem of your shirt as he tugs on it.

Tomura will get more up-close and personal than Hitoshi, resting his knee against the wall between your knees and essentially caging you.

And then he’ll go on about your missing his hints. “Are you fucking teasing me, y/n?” he’ll ask, voice low and breathy. “Are you trying to get me all hot and bothered so you can ignore me?”

“Maybe as your leader I should order you to take that shirt off and get on your knees, right?” He’s verbal, but that’s not ever going to stop him from touching you.

First Tomura will graze his fingertips along your abdomen, triggering a muscle reflex and giving you goosebumps(/chickenskin?), then he’ll lean in to your ear to tickle it with his breath or tongue while his other hand finds your ass.

Dabi:

Voted the most likely to kabedon someone in high scho- Kabedon is his preferred way of seducing someone, honestly, when it’s not a drunk, meaningless fuck. He loves having you at his mercy, essentially, and being in control is not something he will give up easily.

When he decides, after clearly eyeing you for some time, to push you against the wall and slap it beside your head with his left hand, you’re going to immediately get overwhelmed by the scent of smoke, metal, and whiskey.

On their own, the three scents might make you turn your nose, but when they’re mixed together and emanating off Dabi’s hot breath on your neck? Not that bad.

You can act confused if you want, all you want, but you’ll get the same response regardless - a toothy smirk and a chuckle that will tell you what he’s after before he decides to. If anything, confusion or blind obedience will turn him on more, so good luck! Of course, he won’t turn his nose if you decide to get feisty.

It’s pretty well-known that Dabi doesn’t beat around the bush, so instantly his free hand is tangled in your hair at the base of your neck, his thumb under your jaw to usher it upward as his nose trails up your neck, drinking in the scent that is yours alone while he verbally teases you.

If he gets impatient and you seem to be enjoying yourself, his hand at your neck will move upward and tug at your hair, giving him all the more room to plant an open-mouthed, not-so-chaste kiss to your neck.

“Such a tease you are, doll,” he’ll mutter into your skin, voice breathy and husky, “do you even realise you’ve got me riled up, just standin’ there all innocent-like? Why don’t you prove to me you’re not so innocent.”

Just after he taunts you like that, he’ll stick his knee between your legs almost as if giving you an opportunity to do what he just told you to do. No, there’s not “almost” to it.

#mha #mha headcanons #mha x reader #shinsou x reader #shigaraki x reader #dabi x reader #shinsou hitoshi #shigaraki tomura #dabi #are you the same person as the last to use the black heart? would you like to be 🖤 anoni/anon? :>#also.#the ‘voted most likely’ thing was a meme right? im pretty sure it is

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stardust-walker · 4 years ago

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The (Victorious) Princess Bride: Chapter 2

Summary: Scott Lang is tasked with one of his hardest missions ever. Keep a trio of kids occupied as their parents decide to go on date nights. Never one to turn down a challenge or miss the chance to impress one of his superhero idols, Scott accepts. After his usual tricks for amusing kids fall through, he falls back on one of the classics: a story. If princesses, sword fighting, pirates, Valkyries, and magic are what it takes to keep these kids from tearing the house down, then he accepts.

Infinity War/ Endgame never happens. Mentions of chaotic dad Tony Stark. Loki x Sigyn.

CHAPTER SUMMARY: After Loki gets 'killed' by the Dread Pirate Fury, Sigyn vows to never love again. Fast forward 5 years and she's being forced to marry the Grandmaster and is suddenly in the hands of a familiar cast of characters. One of them happens to look a little too familiar.

MASTERLIST

Scott had never been more grateful for Thor loving his own stories as he tried to continue with his own. He would really have to thank him for it later, honestly.

Loki had more than enough money for marriage, but more importantly he would need approval from his father. The time came when he had to pack the few belongings he had and left the farm to seek his fortune in the war with Svart...awhata.

“You said it wrong,” The dark haired boy piped up. His brother nodded in agreement.

“Who’s telling the story here, buckaroo?” Scott furrowed his brow as he continued.

Fine. The war with...Sakaar. Still, it was a very emotional time for Sigyn.

“I fear I’ll never see you again,” Sigyn sniffled as she clung to Loki like she truly meant her words. She wanted to never leave the spot where they stood. She knew that the war was dangerous and there was more of a chance that she would never see him again than either of them would truly like to believe.

“Of course you will,” Loki reassured her.

“But what if something happens to you?” Sigyn wiped at her eyes as the tears began to fall in spite of herself.

A small smile crossed Loki’s face as he wiped one of her tears away. “Hear this now. I will return for you no matter what.” Sigyn opened her mouth to interrupt him, but Loki continued. His face was more stern now, a determined look in his eye. “This is true love. You think this happens every day?”

Sigyn’s heart fluttered as she studied his face. There was no hint of trickery in his eyes or anything to make her think the words he spoke were false.

The blonde let out a weak laugh as she threw her arms around Loki’s neck. She pressed a kiss to his cheek and nuzzled her face into his neck. He might be speaking the truth, but there was no telling what the Norns had in store for them.

“Loki never reached his destination,” Scott stated solemnly. “His crew was attacked by the Dread Pirate Fury. Now the Dread Pirate Fury never kept captives alive. When Sigyn got the news that Loki had been killed…”

“Murdered by pirates?” The blond haired boy sounded shocked despite trying to come off as disinterested.

A small noise behind him made Scott turn quickly in his seat. “Wait who got murdered by pirates?”

“Jesus,” Scott yelped as he placed a hand over his heart.

The young girl on the couch threw her arms in the air. “Peter! Come sit! Uncle Scott is telling us a story and Loki just got killed by pirates!”

The confused look on Peter’s face seemed to grow even more quizzical as he practically tiptoed over to take a seat on the couch. “Wait as in Loki Loki?”

“Of course not,” the dark-haired boy scoffed. “He would never let himself get killed by something as easy to beat as a mortal pirate.”

“Wait Dread Pirate Fury? Is that because of the eye-”

“How did you even get inside? Aren’t I the only one on baby-sitting duty tonight?”

“Oh!” Peter grinned. “Mr. Stark gave me a key!” He produced a house key from seemingly out of nowhere. “I was in the neighborhood and I was hungry but if you’re telling a story, I’m down.”

“Where was I?” Scott frowned as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Killed by pirates,” the two young boys answered together.

Peter eyed the two of them nervously before he turned and nodded at Scott.

Anyway . When Sigyn found out that Loki had been killed, she went into her room and shut the door. For days, she didn’t eat or sleep. She swore she would never love again. After the death of his youngest son, Odin grew weaker. The war with Sakaar was eventually lost with the Grandmaster naming himself ruler over Asgard and his own country. The other prince had disappeared shortly after the war was lost. There was almost nothing left to remind her of how life was before anymore.

Five years passed, the main square of Asgard was filled as it hadn’t been in years to hear the announcement of the great Grandmaster’s bride to be.

The extravagant Grandmaster stepped out onto the balcony of the castle and raised a hand as the crowd grew silent. “Hey there, Sakaarans. I have a fantastic announcement! A month from now, our wonderful country will have its 5th anniversary of joining with the slightly less incredible country of Asgard. But look how much you’ve improved in only 5 years!” From where she stood, Sigyn rolled her eyes. “On that sundown, I shall marry a lady who was once a commoner like yourselves.”

While that may have been true, at least Loki had never called her a commoner. At least not to her face anyway. Everything about the Grandmaster made her stomach turn and her blood boil. Most of all, she hated the fact that she had been sold off like a high prized goat to the man that was the reason her true love was dead.

“But perhaps, you will not find her common now. My people! The Queen Sigyn!”

The blonde woman took a deep breath as she allowed herself to be led out into the blinding sunlight. She had no doubt that the fanfare would have been just as grand if Odin was still king, but still. It might have been the way that her name sounded when the Grandmaster spoke, but it felt like the world was spinning. People were bowing to her and it took everything in her not to beg them to just stand up.

She didn’t want this. She missed the farm and her horses. More importantly, she missed the way the kingdom was before. She missed Loki.

Sigyn’s emptiness consumed her. Although the law of the land gave the Grandmaster the right to choose his bride, she did not love him. Despite his reassurance that she would grow to love him, the only joy that Sigyn found was on her daily ride.

Sigyn couldn’t stop herself from smiling as the horse galloped along through the orchard. As the wind blew her hair back and she felt the fresh air in her lungs, the woman felt at peace. Her hazel eyes narrowed as she spotted figures in the distance. She grew close enough to see them clearly and pulled on the reins to slow her horse to a stop.

“My lady!” A bald man spoke from the center of the small group. “A word.” She didn’t like this man, but still she didn’t make a move to get going. A smaller woman stood beside him with a taller blond man alongside her. Something about the blond man looked familiar. “We are but poor lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?”

The hair on the back of Sigyn’s neck raised as her eyes darted around quickly. “There is nothing nearby, good sir,” she replied briskly, “not for miles.”

The blond man’s relaxed expression seemed to crumble slightly as she heard something move behind her.

“Then there will be no one around to hear you scream,” the bald man grinned at her.

Sigyn turned and her eyes widened as a bright green hand moved towards her. A startled yelp stopped halfway through as his fingers pinched her neck. She fainted. The blond man stepped forward quick enough to catch her as she swayed forward and began to fall from the back of her horse.

“Well done, Hulk!” Skurge made a move like he was about to clap the green giant on the arm but some common sense got into him as he lowered his hand.

The dark-haired woman furrowed her brow as the blond walked over with the fainted woman in his arms. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Don’t you lot want to get back at the Grandmaster for stealing your home? And more importantly, my stuff. ”

Hulk grunted as he stomped over to rejoin the group.

“Easy there, buddy. I think you’re a bit too big for the boat, yeah?” Valkyrie raised a hand in the air.

The green monster let out a low growl of annoyance as his hands began to quiver. Before their eyes, he transformed back into a man. A much smaller, more nervous looking man than the fainted woman could probably guess. He exchanged a worried look with the blond man as Skurge went to work on a piece of cloth.

“Are you sure that this is the best way to get back at him? I mean isn’t this a little...extreme?” The nervous looking man asked.

“The best way to piss this git off is to take his stuff. Blondie here is his future bride, therefore,” he slapped the horse on its backside, “one of the most important parts of his stuff.”

Valkyrie’s eyes narrowed as he continued.

“I just placed a piece of fabric with Jotunheim’s crest on it on the lass’s horse. Everyone will think that the Jotun’s took her. Bang, boom, Bob’s your uncle. He’s got a war on his hands and we all get paid. And Val here can go back to drinking her sorrows away.”

The woman moved her hand dangerously close to her sword as Banner stepped forward. The man raised a hand slightly and she seemed to freeze.

Her sword remained in its sheath, but her eyes narrowed a little more dangerously as he continued.

“When he finds her body dead on the shores of Jotunheim, his suspicions about them will be totally confirmed! It’s genius!”

“It’s murder,” Thor frowned as he glanced nervously at the warrior woman beside him. “You never said anything about killing anyone.”

“I hired you to help me start a war, your highness . Unless you and Hulky would rather go back to fighting in the pits,” Skurge shot them a poisonous smile.

Banner let out a sigh as he turned to board the small ship with the others following behind him. “I don’t think it’s right to kill an innocent girl!”

“Oi!” Skurge shouted. Valkyrie stopped halfway through her check of the ropes on the sail. “Am I going nuts or did the word think escape your lips? No offense doctor, but I didn’t hire you . I hired the big man. You’re only here because he’s too big for the ship!”

Skurge didn’t give a damn about the other three in his crew, that much was evident.

“The sun’s getting low,” Thor said calmly as he laid Sigyn down and began to tie up her wrists.

“I agree with them, unfortunately,” Valkyrie shrugged as Banner began to pace the small deck of the ship.

“What happens to her is none of your concern, ya got it?” Skurge rounded on her. Valkyrie stared right back. “When I found you, you were so slobbering drunk that ya couldn’t buy brandy.”

Sigyn was beginning to stir now even as Thor continued to tie check the knots on her wrists.

“You were friendless! Wrecking havoc wherever you went,” the bald man continued his rampage as Sigyn regained consciousness.

Thor tapped her on the hand gently as he rose to his feet to join the others. She couldn’t help but feel perplexed about the whole thing. First of all, she’d been stupid enough to let herself get kidnapped. Second of all, one of the kidnappers had been gentle with her as if she were a baby. Now what were they doing?

“That Skurge,” the woman whispered. “He can fuss.” She grunted as she pulled on one of the ropes.

“I think he likes to scream,” Thor smirked as he climbed the small ladder towards the helm, “at us.”

“Probably he means no harm,” Valkyrie snickered even as she watched their boss’s shoulders tense in frustration.

Banner chimed in. “He’s really very short on charm!”

“Enough of that! The lot of ya,” Skurge shouted.

“Bruce, are those rocks ahead?” Valkyrie called out in a sickly sweet voice.

“If there are, we’ll all be dead,” Banner deadpanned.

Thor let out a roar of laughter as Skurge fumed even more.

What the hell had Sigyn gotten herself into.

“I bet his face was really...red,” the little girl grinned.

Peter let out a small laugh, “Nice one.”

“This rhyming game sure seems like it would be a lot of fun,” the blond boy raised an eyebrow.

Realization dawned on Scott’s face. Then his expression turned to one of amused horror. “Wait a minute, guys…”

“To play this game one would have to be very wise!” The black haired boy’s eyes sparkled with mischief.

“I wonder if we would win some sort of prize”

“Parker!”

“Aw,” Peter grinned. “Cmon Scott don’t be such a….a…”

“Barker?” The girl offered.

“Martyr,” the blond boy leaned forward in his seat.

“Oh that’s a good one!” His brother nodded in agreement.

“Alright I guess you guys don’t want to hear about the screaming eels and the,” Scott let out a sigh as he paused for dramatic effect, “cliffs of Insanity.”

The two boys cheered even as Peter inched a little further away from them on the couch. At least the kids weren’t trying to burn the house down like they did with their last babysitter.

#loki x oc #loki x sigyn #loki x reader #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #loki friggason #loki #my writing #scott lang #peter parker #we love and respect our angel son peter parker in this house #princess bride au #kind of?#scott lang is the chaotic uncle all these kids deserve

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watchtower-feed · 4 years ago

Text

All in Your Head (Part 4)

SSA Main Story ✧ Batman ✧ 1 ✧ 2 ✧ 3 ✧ 4 ✧ 5

“Master Bruce,” Alfred says gently, “It appears to be an alteration of Scarecrow’s fear toxin.”

Bruce groans as he drops down from the table, “What kind of alteration?”

Alfred doesn’t answer him right away. Instead, he stares at Bruce and from the way he looks, he might already know, “It’s a lot milder. Mild enough to not affect your consciousness…” he let his words hang as he watches the slow recognition dawn on Bruce’s face. “And only affect you while you’re unconscious.”

Bruce clenches his fists and suddenly finds it hard to swallow.

“They know.”

Bruce tried his best to avoid sleeping for the next two weeks until the fear toxin was completely out of his system. Even then, he doesn’t see you in his dreams for almost a month. He doesn’t think it’s because you’re not sleeping. His best guess is that you bought link blockers from the black market and took them.

Incredibly irresponsible but a smart move. If you had been in the dreamscape with Bruce’s subconscious, you would have died a thousand different ways in the hands of a different villain every night. Just like he did.

Bruce Wayne can handle his own death. He’s prepared himself for it before he first took up the mantle. He visualizes it every night and he always dies alone.

He doesn’t want the people he cares about to get hurt. Not just physically. He doesn’t want anyone to see him die and have to carry that image throughout their lives. He loves his parents but sometimes he wishes he would stop seeing their faces in the darkness. He wishes he didn’t have to live through it over and over again, every single night.

The alley light flickers over their dead bodies and Bruce looks up at the sight of a shadow walking into the light. He knows it’s not you. He knows the you in front of him was made by his own subconscious. A perversion.

You kneel down, your bare knees crunching the gravel that pokes at your skin, but you’re smiling as if it doesn’t hurt. As if his parents aren’t dead behind you.

You touch him, your palms pressing against his cheeks and lifting his face to look at you. To turn away from the bodies and only look into your eyes. Gentle and warm unlike the cold and stench of Crime Alley.

Your thumb brushes his cheekbones and it makes him weak. Bruce wishes this made him sick to his stomach but he misses you so much he lets this poor copy of you pull him into an embrace.

Its arms cling around his neck. It snuggles its nose just below his ear. One of its hands cup the back of his head and tangle its fingers in his hair. Mimicking everything you do, exactly as you do it when you embrace him. A perfect replica of everything Bruce remembers about your touch.

It’s only when Bruce wakes up that he feels the repulsion of what he’s done.

One night, after a difficult mission with the League that brought them no closer to uncovering more of Luthor’s plans, Bruce enters the dreamscape and finds himself in the main hall of the Watchtower.

He wonders if he accidentally went through the zeta tube instead of his bedroom door. But then he sees you staring out the window. He tries to make you go away and you feel the push of his subconscious.

You turn around and stare at him. Bruce is startled, one foot raised in midstep like a burglar caught red-handed. You narrow your eyes at him.

“You’ve been spending your nights with a fake me.”

You didn’t need to hear the answer because the guilt already made its way around the creases of Bruce’s face.

“We promised.”

Bruce walks toward you slowly. He takes your hand in his and kisses the back of it. “Forgive me.”

You watch Bruce hide his face from you, bowing down before you. You gently retrieve your hand and hold his cheeks in your palms. As you lift his head, you look at him with your brows furrowed.

“Have you been lonely?” you ask. Bruce closes his eyes and presses against your touch. You pull him closer until you can hide your face in his chest, hiding the creases of your own brows. “I’m sorry, too.”

Your soulmate lifts your head from his chest and kisses you.

You have always expected the things in the dreamscape to be surreal, after all, they only resemble what could be. But whenever you kiss, it feels so warm and all-consuming that you know in your heart this is what Bruce’s kiss tastes like in the waking world.

He pulls away and gives himself just enough space to look at you. To memorize every contour, every bump, every sunken skin on your face. Bruce knows his subconscious could never replicate your perfection.

You smile at Bruce and then suddenly grab hold of his cheeks too quickly, making a slapping sound in the dreamscape.

“Bruce! I have good news. Great news!”

While Bruce mimics your wide eyes, yours from excitement, his from your pseudo-slap, you alter the Watchtower lobby into what looks like a cramped temple with small Greek columns.

“You went to the Fates,” Bruce assumes immediately. He’s frowning.

Despite his growing fondness for you and your link, Bruce detests the whole soulmate business and the Fate sisters. He believes anyone who’s not willing to cooperate with the Justice League has something sinister to hide.

“I didn’t plan on going to them,” you turn to your soulmate with a sheepish look and playful smile, knowing what you’re about to say is much worse. “I was at the black market--” Bruce knows but just hearing your confession made him narrow his eyes. “But you wouldn’t believe who I met there--”

An apparition of you enters the small temple, following another figure who places an offering at the atrium and calls out to the Fates.

“That’s Lex Luthor’s soulmate.”

Bruce almost can’t believe what you’re saying. He doesn’t understand why you’re smiling. “Y/N--”

“It’s not what you think,” because you already know exactly what he’s suggesting. Being in each other’s subconscious has made both of you more sensitive to each other’s tells. “His soulmate wants to helps us, Bruce.”

“How do you know she’s Luthor’s soulmate.”

“Because she knows who I am,” Bruce narrows his eyes, trying to think deeply while listening to you. “They have a memory link, one of the rarest. It plants the soulmate into someone’s memories so it feels like they’ve been together their whole lives. One of the memories she was in was when Luthor found out about our link and hired Scarecrow to make your fear toxin.”

Silence suddenly filled the dreamscape and all figures have stopped. Even you and Bruce. You haven’t talked about your last night together. Everything that transpired. Haunting memories relived. You dying.

You’re startled by the hand that holds you. Bruce squeezes your hand until you look him in the eyes. His gaze is gentle. His eyes are almost glistening.

“Luthor could have put her up to this,” he says softly.

“He didn’t.”

“What makes you so sure, Y/N?”

Bruce only ever calls you by your first name when he’s being his most affectionate. When you’re hiding in your whispers, under the sheets, or crying to wakefulness. He says it now because Bruce Wayne is genuinely fearful of what might happen to you.

“Because I met her, Bruce.” Before he could say another word, you hold up your hand, a gentle tell to let you continue. “I could tell that she loves Luthor. That’s why she wants to help us stop him.”

Bruce is shaking his head, “I don’t understand, Y/N.”

You smile at Bruce and turn back to the apparitions in the temple. Two more figures enter the room. Two old women in grey loose tunics that flowed down to the cobbled floor. Luthor’s soulmate bows down to pick up her offering and hands it to them.

The scene continues silently and you lean in to whisper to Bruce, “She’s asking for their forgiveness because Luthor kidnapped one of their sisters a few years ago.”

Bruce’s brows furrow, connecting the dots in his head, realizing how Luthor has been able to do the unthinkable with the links. “He’s been planning this for years?”

“According to his soulmate, since he was 17. Ever since he found out about their link.” You suddenly had the urge to wrap your arms around Bruce as you continue to look into the temple.

Bruce rubs the small of your back. “I take it that he wasn’t very happy about the arrangement.”

“Ever the detective,” you tease but without heart.

You watch the scene continue. Luthor’s soulmate straightens up and addresses each of the sisters.

“I just want to know if Lex’s plan will work. If it’s possible that he can use the links’ power to alter destiny itself.”

Bruce grits his teeth. “So that’s his endgame.”

The Fate sisters turn to each other. The tallest and wisest one answers her, “Child, there is no such thing as destiny. Not the one you think of. The only real destiny is death. Even for those who think themselves immortal.”

You chuckle a little despite the atmosphere. It’s one of the things Bruce has loved about you. “Makes you grateful you don’t have to talk to them for League business.”

Bruce smirks.

“But I need your help! We have to stop him or more people are going to lose their links and get hurt. Don’t you want your sister back?”

The smaller sister, the compassionate one, touches her arm, “Our sister will survive. We’re not the ones to help you. You know this.” The sisters said their goodbyes and left the atrium. Luthor’s soulmate turns to you before the dream vanishes and returns you and Bruce to the Watchtower lobby.

You turn to Bruce and he’s already glaring at you. He’s already put two and two together and summed up the rest of your story.

You gulp before telling him, “She wants to help the Justice League stop Luthor but... in exchange for a big favor.”

SSA Main Story ✧ Batman ✧ 1 ✧ 2 ✧ 3 ✧ 4 ✧ 5

#bruce wayne #batman #DC imagines #bruce wayne x reader #DC x reader #ssa #superhero soulmate au #soulmate au #DC fanfiction #DC reader insert #bruce wayne fanfiction #bruce wayne imagine #Batman imagine #Batman fanfiction #Batman x reader #watchtower-feed #atbucud

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golden-redhead · 4 years ago

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My experience with spop was this - I knew nothing beforehand. saw how the Internet exploded over their kiss and thought "cute LGBTQ couple endgame? I'm in." started binging and I just kept waiting for them to grow closer but all I got was more abusive behavior? Then I finished s5 and just couldn't believe that that was it? That's how they ended up together? That's what got the Internet celebrating? I think knowing the endgame and how people raved over it made the experience worse for me tbh.

Oof, I honestly can’t imagine watching the show knowing how it ends, excited about getting some wlw rep we crave so much and then... that. I think some of the shows issues must get glaringly obvious if you actually watch it all as opposed to those of us who had to wait months before a new batch of episodes and had time to hype themselves out and just enjoyed the contents of s5 in this slight disconnect from the previous seasons. I am not entirely opposed against catradora (although I do not like it and do not ship it, I just dislike this kind of dynamic, it’s very clearly not my thing even if you completely erase the element of abuse and ignore the fact that they don’t hold the same beliefs or values like, at all), but the dedication with which the show did everything to avoid addressing all the shit that they should have addressed in order for the ending and Catra’s redemption to work is just... astounding, really.

Like, imagine going SO OUT OF YOUR WAY and still not getting it right.

For one, Catra never apologizes, not really, because I can hardly count her saying “I’m sorry for everything” as an apology. One of the rules of sincere apologies is that you actually acknowledge what you did wrong, apologizing for unspecified ‘everything’ is lazy and disrespectful and makes it look like some way to just take it off the list and be done with that part of Catra’s redemption.

Two, talking with other fans really made me wonder how the supposed target audience, so kids aged 7 and older, perceive that ending, because I have an impression that they might have a hard time wrapping their head around it. I’ve heard that some kids are actually scared of Catra? And, honestly, I can see that, yeah. Not to mention just the message that all your abuser needs is for you to prioritize them and stay... Yeah. Um, nope.

Three, my biggest issue as someone who genuinely loved the shows and the characters, my biggest complain is how everything had to be tossed aside in order to make catradora happen. Everything. Quite literally.

Scorpia getting over Catra, getting friends and appreciation she deserved? Accepting her role of a princess? Forming meaningful and healthy friendships and finding her place in the world? Fuck it, let’s chip her for like, half the season and ignore her conflict with Catra entirely. THE FUCKING DISRESPECT OF THAT.

Adora and Glimmer’s argument? You know, the driving force and main conflict of the entire 4th season? Yeah, yeah, let’s have Adora dismiss Glimmer’s apologies and never address that ever again, shall we?

Angella? Pff, who? Never heard of her!

Micah interacting with Glimmer for like, all of 2 minutes. 95% of that time fighting her while chipped by the bad guy. Um... okay. So much for the reunion with a daughter you didn’t see since she was, um, 5 at most?

Glimmer’s powers? The ones she’s been mastering and being insecure about episode one? Which were a huge part of why she even trusted Shadow Weaver in the first place? Yeah, they’re useless 3/4 of the season and then given to Melog. You know, that new character who is ridiculously overpowered and is basically Catra’s glorified moral support cat, despite being a sentient, intelligent being, the sole survivor of its planet. Of-fucking-course.

Oh, speaking of Shadow Weaver! The fucking HYPOCRISY of having a full season of Glimmer and Adora arguing over Glimmer choosing to work with her only to... Have Adora work with her. The entire season. And never mentioning it again. SURE. BECAUSE THAT MAKES SENSE.

(btw, I love how the show framed their conflict as something where Adora is basically 100% in the right... but when you think about it, Glimmer actually made much more solid points that actually turned to be true. the more you know!)

Mermista lost her entire kingdom because of Catra? Yeah, better let’s get her chipped too, before she has a chance to question why they’re working with the kitty lady who was about to murder them only 2 minutes ago.

Adora spent 4 seasons trying to learn more about her past? Let’s drop it. Just because. Don’t question it, folks. Seriously, don’t.

Adora was about to die? Well, now she doesn’t! Why? Uh, um, what do you mean why, don’t you know that magical gay kisses fix everything? Smh.

I just... This is bad writing, okay?

And it feels like such an insult, because up until the last season I think the writing was really solid, the themes of abuse were handled very well, with respect and realistically, Adora’s conflicted feelings about She-ra, her destiny and her choice in all of this were interesting and believable, Glimmer was a great female character allowed to be (and do) things that female characters aren’t usually allowed to be, the supporting cast was strong and loveable and Prime... God, the way Horde Prime was set up as this intimidating, scary, bigger than the universe villain was genius. Hell, even at the beginning of s5 I had chills every time he was on screen. I was so excited about him, but every episode he was getting worse and worse until he became so meh I felt like crying.

And don’t even get me started on Catra saying that she saved Glimmer for Adora. This? This is when I knew there’s no saving this season. This was a slap to the face and the clearest sign that it was never about properly redeeming Catra at all, just getting her what she wanted.

And it’s a shame, too, because in a lot of ways Catra is a very interesting and compelling character who, despite what it looks like, in a lot of ways got the short end of the stick, because instead of telling a realistic, mature story about personal growth, they chose what was basically a instant forgiveness route and never showed Catra actually dealing with both what she’s gone through and what she’s done. Which is a shame and a huge disservice to Catra’s character.

So... yeah. Sorry about that rant, you are so valid, Anon, and I’m sorry.

#spop critical #catradora critical #complaining

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dweetwise · 5 years ago

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Jeff ADOPTING THE LEGION! Like the glitch of 4 killers spawning and 1 survivor. The legion gets to have races and be stupid(er) for a match. Frank shows off how to totally do a gen!

[anon gets it. this was super fun to write, hope you enjoy!]

just legion being brats and jeff being a dad. some references to this ask!

Jeff babysits the Legion: ficlet

Jeff is in the middle of rolling up some bandages for his med-kit, waiting for the others to arrive at the pre-trial campfire. When the familiar smoky tendrils start creeping up his legs, he looks around with a frown on his face; nope, still just him. He’s reminded of the last time the Entity decided to start a trial with less than four survivors, and he groans in annoyance, hoping he doesn’t have to put up with three grizzlys this time.

When Jeff opens his eyes, he’s in the middle of Mt. Ormond's snowy grounds and predictably, he’s alone; not the most promising start. He reluctantly makes his way to the lodge, keeping a lookout for angry bears. With no heartbeat in earshot, Jeff crouches by the generator and gets to work, but as soon as the first piston starts moving, he realizes he has company.

“Well, well, well, look what we have here!” one of the Legion, he thinks Julie, sneers at him from the second floor, leaning cockily against the railing. “Man oh man, you came to the wrooong place,” a man in a skull mask comes up beside her, spinning his knife in a threatening manner. That must be Joey. “We’re gonna gut you like a pig,” Julie says, spitting out the word as she starts making her way down the stairs, sliding down the banister like an unruly child.

Jeff sighs and gets up on his feet. One of the Legion brats he can deal with, but two? Better to just get this over with.

“How are you both here?” Jeff asks, undisturbed by Julie getting right up in his face. “Not a very fair match, if you ask me.” “'Both’? You don’t know the half of it,” Joey snickers, probably sharing a knowing look with Julie; it’s hard to tell with the masks. Jeff is about to ask him to elaborate, when a sharp pain flares up his shoulder. “Oops, sorry!” a third member of the Legion--Susie, the one with braces, says from behind him, retracting the knife from his shoulder. “What’s a little stabby-stab between old friends, huh?” “I preferred when you paid me with beer, not stabs,” Jeff grits out through the pain, glancing at the faded mural he made for the group’s hangout what feels like a lifetime ago. “Ooh, he’s funny!” Julie mocks, gripping her knife better. “Don’t worry, you’ll scream soon enough,” she says, raising her hand. “That’s enough,” a familiar voice interrupts them and Julie lowers her hand without hesitation. Jeff sees Frank walk down the stairs with an annoying cocky swagger, Joey not far behind him. “How nice of you to intervene,” Jeff says to the group’s leader, trying to tone down his sarcasm.

He’s always thought the Legion kids were nice enough on their own, becoming sort of an annoying hive mind when together, but Frank is by far the worst offender, turning into an insufferable asshole when he is with his little gang.

“Fatty,” Frank acknowledges him, making Julie snort. Jeff rolls his eyes at the juvenile humor. “Dude, what are you doing?” Joey questions. “Just kill him.” “One,” Frank begins, lifting his index finger. “This one’s the least dipshit survivor--not that that’s saying much. Two, as long as he’s alive, we can keep hanging out in the trial. And three--” Frank surges towards Joey, slamming him against a pillar and holding his knife against the other’s throat. “Don’t you dare fucking question me again or I’ll throw you on a hook and leave you to rot.”

Joey holds up his arms in surrender and Frank eventually lowers the knife, still leaning over the other teen menacingly. The air is tense with the threat of violence, and even Julie shifts awkwardly on her feet.

“Oooh!” Susie suddenly exclaims. “Was he the one who helped you when you were a baby survivor?” she asks cheerily, pointing at Jeff and innocently cocking her head.

As Frank sputters something unintelligible, clearly embarrassed, and Julie and Joey snicker to themselves, Jeff feels the tension fade and he can’t help but let out an amused huff of his own.

“I saved him! From a--from a fucking bear!” Frank eventually manages to stammer out. Jeff just smiles knowingly, and feels Frank’s stare digging holes into him as if daring him to bring up the events of their last trial together.

As it turns out, the Legion aren’t too bothered by keeping Jeff around so they can stay in the trial to fuck around. At first, they have a race along the long wall of the cabin, with Joey winning each one, until Jeff comes up with an idea.

“Why don’t I throw down some pallets and mark a couple windows, make an obstacle course for you guys?” “That sounds like fun!” Susie beams, bouncing on her feet and clapping her hands in excitement. “Whatever, I’ll still kick all your asses!” Joey boasts.

Jeff throws together a makeshift obstacle track around the shack side of the map, before giving a countdown to the bunch of unusually focused teens standing in a neat row. On his command, they take off in a frenzy, sprinting to the first window. It takes approximately five seconds for the fighting to start.

“You’re blocking me, asshole!” “Frank broke the pallet!” “Cheater!” “JUUDGE!!” Julie’s annoyed whine has Jeff make his way over to the commotion. He sees Frank on the ground, laughing hysterically while Susie is on top of him and is slapping him with his own mask, with Joey standing next to them, sulking. Julie turns to Jeff and angrily points at the remains of a pallet and Frank’s iridescent button on his jacket. “Frank, you’re disqualified,” Jeff says. “It was just a prank, bro!” Frank laughs while shielding himself from Susie’s wrath.

The three remaining Legion members redo the race, with Julie winning by a landslide. She’s in the middle of boasting to an annoyed Joey, when Frank’s face, now maskless, lights up.

“Bet you guys don’t know how to repair a gen!” “Uhh, yeah, ‘cause we’re not a bunch of pussy survivors?” Joey says, not eager at the idea. “I think someone’s scared of losing. Again,” Frank eggs on. “Oh you’re on.”

Jeff ends up teaching the other three how to repair the machine while Frank just shows off and gives obnoxious comments at the others’ failures. Surprisingly, Susie eventually comes out on top, seeming to be the best mechanic out of the four.

“How are you so good at this?” Julie asks, zapping herself on the wires again. “It’s like a puzzle! Super easy!” Susie beams. “Yeah?? Well try to do it when a bear is on its way to eat you!” Frank argues, clearly annoyed at having been bested.

When the group leaves the generator, the four teens stop dead in their tracks and turn to look at something between two rocks. Jeff hears the familiar sound of echoing winds before he sees the hatch. Huh, he hadn’t even considered the fact it would have been open from the very start of the trial, seeing as he’s the only survivor. He could jump in right now and leave, or one of the killers could kick it shut, starting the two-minute endgame timer. Either way, the Legion’s time together (and his time with them, he reluctantly admits) would be cut short.

“You guys want to make a bonfire?” Jeff suggests, pretending not to notice the collective relief in the kids’ postures at his suggestion. “I doubt the hatch is going anywhere for a while.” “I saw some marshmallows in the lodge!” Susie exclaims.

Frank gathers some rubble for the fire, while Joey helps Jeff carry two couches up on a small hill and Susie and Julie find some marshmallows and blankets in the lodge.

“This is nice,” Susie says later, huddled up in a blanket, sitting between Joey and Jeff and looking up dreamily at the starry sky, fire crackling in front of her with four discarded masks next to it. “These taste like shit and the stars are fake as fuck,” Frank says, spitting out the roasted marshmallow and leaning back on the couch in annoyance. “Well, it’s the nicest we’ve had since we got here,” Susie says quietly, nibbling on her own marshmallow and pulling the blanket tighter around herself. “Susie’s right, lighten up,” Julie says, seemingly elbowing Frank under their shared blanket. “It’s been a fun day.” “Yeah, uh. Thanks, man,” Joey mumbles, and it takes Jeff a second to realize the man is addressing him. “Yess! Thanks for this awesome day Jeff!” Susie says, smile back on her face and actually leaning over to give Jeff a cute half-hug. “And, uh... sorry for stabbing you.” “Nothing a few bandages couldn’t fix,” Jeff says and gives the girl an encouraging pat on her back. “Feel free to come hang out whenever,” Julie says. “Yeah, Frank was right. You’re pretty cool,” Joey says. “I never said that!” Frank, predictably, denies. “But. You know. What she said. About hanging out,” he mutters, awkwardly looking away and gesturing at Julie. “Sure. This has been a nice change of pace. Maybe next time we can spray paint more of the lodge,” Jeff suggests with a small smile. “That would be so cool!” Susie beams. “You do realize we’re still gonna kill you in trials though?” Joey points out. “I wouldn’t expect any less.”

When Jeff finally, and a little reluctantly, makes his way out through the hatch, he finds an obscene amount of bloodpoints waiting for him outside of the trial. There’s also a note, with messy symbols scrawled in an unintelligible language that he can inexplicably read--ah, a note from the Entity. He barks out a hearty laugh as he makes out the contents of the note: “Babysitting bonus: +100 000 BP”.

#jeff johansen #dbd legion #frank morrison #julie kostenko #dbd susie #dbd joey #dbd #dead by daylight #dbd fanfic #request #dweetwrites

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thebrotherssalvatore321 · 4 years ago

Text

Keeping Secrets Ch. 6

Keeping Secrets Masterlist

Pairing: DamonxOc, TylerxOc, ElijahxOc, KlausxOc Endgame. Warnings: Physical and mental abuse.

Katie sat in Damon’s car staring at the boarding house with flared nostrils and a heart that was beating a mile a minute. She knew she needed to go inside and talk this out with Stefan, but at the moment if she went inside she would fly off the handle like she had with Caroline and she couldn’t do that. It wasn’t the way to handle this and even though he didn’t seem the type, Stefan was still a vampire and could easily kill her if he wanted to.

So she leaned back in the comfortable seat and focused on taking deep, calming breaths until her heart slowed down and her hands stopped shaking. “Okay, Katie, you can do this…keep it together.” With a steady hand she opened the door and got out.

Her hand stopped half way up to knock on the door and started shaking, but she forced it to stop and knocked three times. A man she remembered seeing when she took a tour of the boarding house when she was little, answered the door. “Hi, you must be Katie. Stefan told me you might be stopping by. Come on in.” he jerked his head as he stepped aside.

Katie walked in and looked around. The house looked pretty much the same as she remembered. It had too many rugs, old lavish furnishings and a certain amount of old school elegance. “Where is Stefan?” while she was calm for now she really wasn’t in the mood for pleasantries.

“He is taking care of Damon.” He said as she followed him into a living room where two couches sat on each side of a big fireplace.

“And what exactly does ‘taking care of Damon’ mean?” she asked, trying not to get impatient with the guy.

“Look, I really don’t want to get in the middle of this any more than I already have. Have a seat and Stefan will come talk to you when he’s done.” He motioned her to the couch then walked away.

After sitting on the couch for fifteen minutes, she grabbed her cell phone out of her clutch, flipped it open to use the keyboard and texted Damon. “Please tell me you have your cell phone on you.”

“Nope. I have it.” Katie looked up to see Stefan walking into the room holding up Damon’s phone. “He won’t be talking to anyone for a very long time.”

“Where is he?” she asked standing up, no longer able to just sit there.

“He’s locked up, downstairs.” Stefan answered coming to a stop in front of the fireplace.

“Well, will you let him out?” she asked, letting some attitude slip.

“I think you know why I can’t do that, Katie.” He answered with tight lips and a shake of his head. “You know that he’s the one that killed Coach Tanner, right?” Katie tossed her clutch and Damon’s keys on the couch then crossed her arms over her chest as she nodded. “Then you know it’s only a matter of time before he kills again.” Katie’s anger faded and slowly started turning into guilt. She drew her foot back and started tapping the closed toe of her shoe on the floor, attempting to keep it together. Stefan was making it really hard to keep overlooking Damon’s wrong doings. “He hurt Caroline, he was hurting you and Coach Tanner isn’t the only person he’s killed since he’s shown up here.”

“He wasn’t hurting me.” She argued. “I know what he is and I know what he’s done to me. I wanted it.”

“You only think you wanted it because he’s messed with your head and made you think so.” Stefan argued back.

“He hasn’t compelled me, Stefan.” She was getting angry again. “I know more than you think I do. Like I know about compulsion and I know that if you two aren’t wearing your rings you will burn in the sun. I know that vervain is basically vampire repellant and I hate that you spiked my drink with it.”

“He threatened to hurt Elena, Katie.” Stefan told her knowing it would get her attention.

“You’re lying.” She accused as her foot stopped tapping and her eyes started watering.

“I wish I was, but I’m not.”

“Why would he do that?” she asked.

“Because he is a bad person, Katie, he is manipulative and every move he makes has an ulterior motive. He didn’t show up here just to make my life a living hell. He has a bigger plan and I don’t know what it is, but I know if he goes through with it more people will die.” Not being able to stop it, a tear slipped down her cheek. “Don’t cry over him, he’s a monster, he doesn’t deserve your tears.”

Katie wanted to slap him, but she knew it wouldn’t hurt him so she restrained the urge. “I know that he killed Mr. Tanner to prove to you that he has no humanity left inside him. I don’t know why he wants you to think that,.I didn’t feel like asking and opening that can of worms, but I obviously see a different person when I look at him. Call it manipulation, I don’t care, but I refuse to believe that he is completely heartless.”

“You can’t tell me you don’t see why I’m doing this.” He was getting aggravated with her.

She sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear. “No…I get it…I just don’t like it.”

“The best thing you can do is forget about him and move on with your life.” Stefan told her sternly.

Katie squeezed her eyes shut, attempting to hold back tears as she nodded and opened them back up. “Can I at least tell him goodbye?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, he’s weak, but he’s also angry which means he’s unpredictable. I wouldn’t put it past him to kill you just to get back at me.” He informed her with a sympathetic look.

“He won’t hurt me, please… let me see him and I’ll act like nothing ever happened.” She begged and Stefan nodded.

“Follow me.” He waved a hand over his shoulder. She followed him down a flight of stairs into a really old unfinished part of the basement and stopped when they got to a big metal door with a barred window. “He’s in there.”

“Katie.” she heard Damon groan as Stefan grabbed the latch and pulled the door open revealing Damon where he leaned against the wall, dirty from lying on the floor of the cell.

“I’m here.” She said as she rushed in and fell to her knees beside him. He tried to look at her, but couldn’t keep his eyes open. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know he spiked my drink.”

“It’s not your fault.” He whispered then coughed.

Katie looked behind her to see Stefan still standing at the door. She ignored him and turned back to Damon. “I’m still sorry.”

“You came to say goodbye?” he asked, blinking slowly at her as she moved a leg over his lap and cupped his face in her hands.

“I don’t want to.” She pressed her forehead to his and closed her eyes.

She felt his hands move to hold her for a second before he got too weak and they slipped to rest on his lap against her butt. “But Stefan’s making you.” she nodded and tears slipped from her eyes, lading on his face. He mustered enough strength to cup her cheek in his hand and wipe a tear. She grabbed his hand and held it there. “Kiss me.” She placed her shaking lips on his for a slow, sad kiss that he returned. When it broke she placed her face in the bend of his neck and wrapped her arms around him. “You should go… move on with your life… forget about me like Stefan told you too.”

“I’ll move on because I have no other choice, but have you met you?” she asked with a sad smile in her voice that made Damon crack a smile. “You’re not a forgettable person.”

“Come on, times up.” Stefan spoke up reminding her that he was there. Katie pulled her face from Damon’s neck and pressed her lips to his, kissing him until he had to pull away. “Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.”

“I’ll walk.” She commented coldly as she pulled herself up off of Damon and walked out of the cell.

“Don’t…you dare… let her walk.” She heard Damon tell his brother then start coughing.

TVDTVDTVD

“I don’t get it.” Stefan said from where he sat in the driver’s seat of Damon’s car.

“You’ve got to be a little more specific.” She said not taking her eyes off of the side window where she watched the trees pass by.

“Why he hasn’t compelled you, why you were okay with what he is and what he’s done.” He said, really just thinking out loud at this point.

“No, you wouldn’t, would you?” she said, still not looking at him. “Do you have any intentions at all of telling Elena what you are?” she asked to change the subject.

“No, I moved here to have a normal life. Damon wouldn’t let me, but now that he’s out of the picture I can.”

“She’s going to figure it out, you know.” She said, finally picking her head up off the window. “She’s already suspicious. So unless you start telling her about yourself she’s going to keep prodding until she figures out what you’re not telling her.” she looked over to see him looking at her with a creased brow. “Damon was eavesdropping on the two of you earlier at the party.” She said with a shrug and an eye roll. He didn’t say anything back and Katie got lost in thought, replaying the night with Damon in her head a few times as she got angry again.

“We’re here.” Stefan informed her and she realized that she didn’t even know when he had stopped in front of her house. Seeing her grandpa’s car in the driveway she looked at the house to see him sitting on the porch, waiting for her, so she stayed in the car.

“If Damon is weakened, does that mean any compulsion that he’s worked on someone will be weakened too?” she asked looking away from her grandpa to finally look at Stefan.

“No, that will stay until he dies, or unless whoever he compelled becomes a vampire.” He answered.

“And do you intend on killing him?” she asked, blinking back more tears.

“No. During the dark ages when a vampire’s actions threatened to expose or bring harm upon the entire race, they would face judgment.” Stefan started explaining. “They sought to reeducate them rather than to punish them. Not feeding will make him weaker and weaker and eventually he won’t be able to move or speak. He’ll essentially become a living corpse, unable to ever hurt anyone ever again. I’ll move him someplace safe and after fifty years we’ll reevaluate.”

Katie bit her lip and nodded, trying not to cry. “Good to know.” She shoved the door open and got out.

Stefan got out and stopped her from walking away. “I am so…sorry.”

Katie looked at her grandpa to see that he had moved to the porch steps, watching them. She gritted her teeth then turned her glaring eyes back to Stefan. “You ruined the most perfect night of my life. Sorry doesn’t cut it.” she walked around him and over to her grandfather who was blocking her way up the steps.

“Where were you?” Grandpa asked his voice hard and hateful like always.

“I went to the founder’s party.” She answered tiredly. “Can I go inside now please?”

“The party was over hours ago.” He replied not answering her question.

“So?” she asked, getting aggravated.

“So where have you been?” he asked, taking a step closer, towering over her.

Knowing he couldn’t hurt her she glared up at him challengingly. “I’ve been hooking up with my boyfriend in the back of his car.” She lied just to piss him off.

“You-” he started with a sneer that she knew would lead to a beating if he hadn’t been compelled not to touch her.

“Skanky, tacky, slut, piece of shit, motherless whore?” she finished for him, making him stare at her slack jawed. “Come up with some new insults because I am sick of hearing you call me the same untrue things over and over and over again just because you hate me and have anger issues.” He just kept staring at her like he couldn’t believe she was talking back to him for the first time in her life. “Are we done here? Because I have had a really bad night and I do not need you making it worse.”

Her grandpa just nodded, still dumbstruck. So she walked around him and into the house.

TVDTVDTVD

She worked at the grill for the rest of the weekend then when Monday rolled around she put on a good face and pretended that she was fine. That day during lunch, Bonnie noticed she wasn’t smiling as much as she had been before and asked her what was up. Katie lied and told her that Damon dumped her, left town and wasn’t coming back. Bonnie knew her well enough to know she wasn’t okay, but she believed the rest. Katie noticed that Stefan wasn’t at school and when she asked Elena about him she said she hadn’t seen him or spoken to him since the party. He left her a voicemail telling her that he had something that he needed to do and that he would explain in a few days.

Thursday morning Katie stood at Elena’s locker talking to her and Bonnie about how over the top Caroline was being with the carwash fundraiser tomorrow when Stefan walked up. “Hey, uh, you know I gotta go…be somewhere right now.” Bonnie quickly dismissed herself knowing that Elena and Stefan needed to talk.

“See you later, Elena.” Katie gave Elena a small smile and ignored Stefan all together.

Later that day she was working at the bar when Elena walked in and sat down at one of the tables in Katie’s section. So she grabbed her order pad and a pen and walked over. “What’s up?”

“Just waiting on Stefan.” Elena answered with a small smile. “If he shows.”

“Want anything while you wait?” Katie asked, refusing to talk about Stefan.

“No, I’m fine, thanks.” Katie started to walk away when Elena stopped her. “Hey, you never said what he did at the party that made you so mad.”

Katie sighed and looked around to see if anyone else was sitting in her section that needed to be served. It was empty so she walked back over and sat down. “I never said, because it wasn’t my business to tell. It’s still not.”

“Why do I get the feeling he had something to do with you and Damon breaking up?” she asked looking at her friend for answers she couldn’t give.

“All I can say is ask Stefan.” Katie saw someone sit in her section. “I have to get back to work.” She stood and headed over to the couple at the table, feeling like shit for not being able to tell her friend everything she needed to know.

Almost an hour later Stefan finally showed up and he and Elena argued. After she walked out on him Stefan spotted Katie handing someone at the bar a basket of curly fries and walked over. “You have a minute?” Katie nodded and walked down to the end of the bar where no one was sitting. “What did you say to her?”

“You mean other than, ask Stefan?” she asked, seeing a water spot on the bar so she grabbed a rag and cleaned it to look busy. “Nothing. I gave you the opportunity to tell her whatever lie you want to.” She tossed the rag under the bar, “Now if you don’t mind I have a paycheck to earn.”

TVDTVDTVD

Friday

The next day after school she once again put on a good face and went to the car wash fundraiser that thankfully she was able to get off work for. Katie was helping Bonnie and Matt dry a car when a new car drove up and Bonnie told Tiki, one of their fellow cheerleaders, that it was hers to wash. “Why do I get the homely ones?” she asked as she set down her bucket and sponge and turned to the driver of the car. “Just to be clear your car’s a p.o.s. I mean, we can wash it but it’ll still be a p.o.s.”

“You don’t have to be rude.” Bonnie spoke up.

“No, rude is uglying up the road with that junker.” Tiki argued.

Bonnie looked at Katie who was drying the car and looking at Bonnie over her shoulder, then back to glare at Tiki. Katie was turning back to finish drying the car when she saw the bucket of water explode in Tiki’s face soaking her from head to toe as she freaked and started spraying water everywhere. Matt being the sweet guy he is, grabbed the water hose from her and kinked it as he handed her a towel.

“Was that you?” Katie asked Bonnie quietly and she nodded. “Not that it wasn’t hilarious and completely deserved, but did you mean to?”

“No, I kind of zoned out.” Bonnie admitted. “I hate this.”

“I know you do.” Katie sighed as the two of them got back to drying the car that was now wet again thanks to Tiki spraying it during her freak out. Looking around Katie noticed Stefan washing a car by himself while Elena sat at the money table. “Hey, I need to go talk to Stefan about something, you and Matt got this?” Katie asked and Bonnie nodded at her.

Stefan gave Katie a polite smile when she walked over and grabbed a soapy rag out of one of the buckets. “You still hate me?” he asked quietly.

“I’m trying not to because you’re with my best friend, but it’s not going so well.” She answered honestly. “But that’s not why I came over here.”

“Then why did you?” he asked while running a rag over the hood of a car.

“You got back in Elena’s good graces.” She started as she washed the windshield. “I just wanted to know what lie you fed her, that way our stories don’t get crossed because I know she will eventually cross examine us.”

“I told her that Damon has a substance abuse problem and I was missing for four days talking him into going into rehab. You’re mad at me for exposing that fact to you at the party and forcing him to go away.”

“Okay, so Damon’s in rehab, got it.” Katie threw her rag into the nearby bucket and walked away.

She went back to helping Bonnie on a new car that had driven up. They had just finished when Tiki walked up with two push brooms in her hands. “Sweeper duty.”

“Come again?” Katie asked, in no mood to be bullied by Tiki.

“You two have to clean the pavement.” Tiki forced the broom into Katie’s hand.

“It’s a car wash. By definition the pavement’s clean.” Bonnie argued.

“But not dry.” Tiki argued.

“And we have to listen to you since when?” Katie asked, stepping up to Tiki.

“Caroline bailed. I’m a senior. That puts me in charge.” Tiki handed Bonnie the other broom and started to walk around her, but Katie tripped her with the end of the broom, making her stumble. “What the hell, Katie?” Tiki snapped getting ready to hit her, but she stopped and looked over Katie’s shoulder with wide eyes.

Katie turned around to see a trail of water leading from Bonnie to a car that was engulfed in flames. “Tiki, call the fire department.” Katie urged throwing the broom to the ground and Tiki took off running. “Bonnie.” Katie yelled and grabbed her shoulders shaking her. “Bonnie, snap out of it.”

Stefan ran over, “What’s wrong?”

“Bonnie’s doing this.” Katie whispered to him. “Bonnie!” Katie snapped and Bonnie finally blinked.

She looked back and forth between the two of them with wide eyes. “Did I do this?”

“We think so, yeah.” Katie said with a nod.

“Nobody else saw, did they?” She asked, still freaked.

“No, I don’t think so.” Stefan told her and Bonnie nodded then walked off. Stefan was about to ask her a question when Katie’s phone started ringing.

Looking at the number she saw that it was her boss. “Hello?” she answered with an aggravated sigh. “Vicki flaked again?” she asked as she headed over to the building where she had left her bag of stuff and grabbed it. “Yeah, I’m on my way.” Since she was already close she walked to work instead of driving and clocked in.

Her shift was almost over when her phone started ringing, she was just going to ignore it, since it was an unknown number, but something told her to answer it. So she pressed talk and put it to her ear as she headed to the back. “Hello?”

“Katie, hey, it’s Stefan. I got your number from Damon’s phone. He got out, have you seen him?” he asked frantically.

“No, how did he get out?” she asked, taking off her apron not bothering to put it on the hook before she grabbed her bag and tossed it over her shoulder.

“I don’t know, he got to Zach somehow and killed him.” He answered and Katie froze. “I need you to get to your house and stay there. If he comes to you, call me, don't try to talk to him. You hear me?”

“Yeah, Stefan, I hear you.” she said as she started moving again and headed to her car. “There’s something else.”

“What?” she asked as she pulled open her car door and slid inside.

“Elena knows about what we are. I’m going to tell her everything including the truth about Damon. Do you want me to tell her that you know?”

“No.” she answered quickly. “She needs to hear that from me.”

“Okay.” He told her as she started her car. “And Katie,”

“Yeah?”

“Be careful.” He told her and she hung up on him.

Her grandfather was home when she got home, but unlike usual he didn’t confront her about anything. Her converse thudded against the wood stairs as she ran up to her room, hoping to find Damon sitting on her bed waiting for her when she opened the door. But her shoulders slumped when she slung her door open and found nothing.

As the night drug on Katie's eyes grew heavy and the book she had been reading to keep herself awake fell to the floor with a thud as sleep overcame her.

As she slept, Damon quietly let himself into her open window. It was easy to tell as he took in Katie, passed out still in her black t-shirt and Jean shorts that she had been waiting for him. The sight caused a pain to shoot through his chest. He'd just killed three random people and Zack. He knew that once Stefan told her she would have nothing else to do with him. Out of the need to touch her he leaned down, swept her hair to the side and placed a kiss to her temple before he whooshed out of her window. Katie stirred, but didn't wake.

TVDTVDTVD

Saturday

As the morning sun beamed through her open window her alarm sounded, waking her to get ready for work. So she groggily turned the alarm off, pulled up Stefan’s number and texted him. "He didn't come to my place. Any signs of him?"

She was getting out of the shower when her phone chimed. She dried off her hands and picked it up to see that it was Stefan. "No. He didn't go to Elena's either. Just go about your day as usual. He doesn't have his ring. I'll call you if I find out anything." So she did as Stefan said. If Damon wanted to see her he would've come last night.

She had just gotten off work and was getting into her car when her phone started ringing. "Stefan, please tell me you found him."

"Yeah, he’s at the boarding house." Katie sighed in relief. "But I need you at Elena's. Damon turned Vicki. She's new, hungry and on the loose. I had to leave Elena and Jeremy alone and she could really use a friend who knows about all this.'

"Okay I'm on my way." She cranked the car and held her phone to her ear with her shoulder as she started to Elena's.

"Katie, you need to tell her everything." Hs tone was serious.

"I will tell her that I know about you and Damon and let her take it from there." She answered. “She’s going to hate me enough just for not telling her that I knew.”

"She won't hate you forever."

"You just find Vicki." She hung up and tossed her phone into the passenger seat.

When she got to Elena's she let herself in. "Katie?" Elena asked with Jeremy right behind her as they met her at the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Stefan called. Said you could use a friend." She answered then turned her eyes to Jeremy. "Would you mind giving us a minute?" He just headed upstairs.

Katie followed Elena to the kitchen and started helping her clean up. "I don't even know where to start so I'm just going to come out and say it. I know what Damon and Stefan are." Katie set a stack of plates in the sink then turned to her shocked friend. "I've known since the night the comet passed."

"You've known all this time and you didn't tell me?" Elena asked in disbelief and hurt clear in her eyes.

"There are so many reasons I didn't tell you. It wasn't my secret to tell. On top of that Damon swore me to secrecy and said that you were completely safe because Stefan only feeds on animals." Katie started and the words would have kept on flowing out of her mouth but Elena held up her hand stopping her.

"Did Damon blackmail you into dating him?" She asked realizing that Damon might have messed with her mind. "Did he hurt you? Is that why you were mad at the party?"

"No to all of those questions." Katie answered, trying to simplify the complicated.

"Are you sure? Because Stefan said that vampires can mess with your memories and if he did then-" Elena was asking but Katie cut her off.

"He never messed with my head, Elena." Katie's eyes slipped to the countertop no longer able to look her friend in the eyes. "Can I see your necklace?” she asked, holding out her hand. Elena grabbed the pendant in her fist and shook her head no. “Let me guess, it has vervain in it because Stefan didn’t want anyone getting into your head including him.” Elena gave Katie a tilted head, questioning look. “So does mine.” She said holding up her moon and star pendant. “Damon gave it to me at the party to prove to me that he wouldn’t mess with my head.”

“But Stefan said that he found him feeding on you. That he was hurting you.” Elena said, blinking back her confusion.

“Damon was feeding on me at the party.” Katie answered. “He’s been feeding on me since he broke up with Caroline. I knew he had been messing with her head and feeding on her so to protect her and anyone else from him I asked him to feed on me and he agreed.”

"How could you do that?" Elena blinked back tears.

"It gets worse." Katie didn't answer her question.

"How could it get any worse than you letting him feed on you Katie?" Elena asked, placing her hands on the bar that separated them.

"I fell for him." Katie answered as a tear slipped down her cheek as she drew back her foot and started tapping the toe of her converse into the floor. "I know Stefan thinks Damon is a heartless monster, and I know he’s done bad things, but he's not heartless."

"How can you defend him? He killed Vicki. He turned her into a blood craving monster. He's killed people." Elena practically yelled.

Katie wanted to tell Elena that her grandfather had treated her like a human punching bag for the past seven years of her life and that Damon swooped in and changed all of that. However, she decided that tonight wasn’t the best time to drop that bomb on her. So she simply said, "I made a mistake." Katie blinked back her tears. "All I can do is say that I never wanted anyone to get hurt and ask for your forgiveness."

"You need to leave." Elena told her sternly.

Katie bit her lips closed and nodded. "Okay." She headed for the door and when she pulled it open Damon was on the other side. "Damon." Katie gasped and stumbled backwards.

"Leave, both of you." Katie looked behind her to see that Elena had followed her out of the kitchen.

"No need to be rude, I'm just looking for my brother." He told Elena with a sarcastic smile. "Huh, you're scared of me. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say Stefan finally fessed up." He looked down at Katie taking in her tears. “And you told her you know too.”

"Stay away from me." Elena warned.

"No problem. Tell me where my brother went and I'll leave." Damon said still standing in the doorway, blocked by Katie.

"He’s out looking for Vicki." Katie answered quietly.

"Thank you." He said then turned around and walked off. When he saw Katie come out after him he stopped and grabbed her hand as she tried to walk by him.

"Don’t touch me." She practically hissed and pulled her hand back as if she had been burned.

He watched her get into her car before whooshed into the passenger seat. "They've turned you against me haven't they?" He asked quietly.

"To be honest, I don’t know." Katie answered exasperatedly. "You killed four people and turned Vicki, I don’t know what to think."

"I killed four people because Stefan starved me. If he hadn't locked me up in the first place I wouldn't have needed to." He argued, turning sideways in the seat to look at her.

"And what about Vicki? Hmm? You going to blame that on Stefan too?" She asked with an attitude induced sway of her head.

"I have no excuse for that." He answered letting his eyes fall to the floorboard of her car.

"After Stefan told me that you got out I waited for you...all night. Why didn't you just come to me, Damon?" She asked, holding back tears.

"I was afraid I would hurt you." He answered in a partial truth.

"Nope try again." She told him folding her arms over her chest.

"I knew after you found out I'd killed people that you wouldn't want me back." He answered honestly this time.

"That's the bad thing about all of this, Damon. I would have." Her words made him look at her like she was crazy. "If someone starved me for a week then plopped a fresh cheeseburger into my lap there’s no way in hell I wouldn't eat it. I wouldn't have been happy by any means about you sucking people dry, but I would've understood it. But instead of just coming to me you turned an innocent girl. That is what hurt me. That is what I can’t forgive." Damon opened the door and put a foot out on the pavement then whooshed out of sight.

TVDTVDTVD

Monday

The next day Katie got a text from Elena asking her to meet her at her house after school. Katie agreed, afraid that Elena was going to tell her that she couldn’t be friends with her anymore. When she got to Elena’s instead of letting herself in like she used to she knocked on the door. Jeremy answered, “Hey, since when do you knock?” he asked with a confused smile.

“Since your sister and I got into a fight.” She answered.

“Like you two haven’t fought before.” He said with a small laugh as he opened the door further and stepped aside, letting her in. “She’s in her room.” he jerked his head up the stairs and Katie gave him a small smile in thanks.

“Hey.” Katie said as she knocked on Elena’s door and opened it.

“Hey.” Elena sighed as she grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest.

“Are you still mad at me?” she asked as she walked over and stood at the foot of the bed.

“A little.” Elena sighed and Katie sat down on the foot of the bed. “So let’s start with what all Damon has told you about…what they are.” Elena started as she motioned for Katie to start talking.

“Okay.” Katie drawled as she kicked her shoes off and moved to sit Indian style. “I know that a wooden stake to the heart will kill them. They can mess with your memories and basically control your mind if they want to. They can jump high. I’ve seen Damon jump from the ground to my roof. Their blood can heal wounds. They will burn in the sun if they don't have on their rings. Vervain weakens them and if they don’t feed they will basically mummify. That’s what Stefan was planning on doing when he locked Damon in the basement.” She laid it all out on the table and the longer so spoke the higher Elena’s eyebrows got. “Why, what do you know about them?”

Elena shook her head, “Not even half of that.” She answered as she turned her eyes to the bed. “What all do you know about their past with Katherine?”

“Just that she dated both of them and wanted all three of them to be together. They both loved her.” she answered honestly. “Damon hasn’t told me much about her other than he liked her laugh and she was apparently really pretty. Oh and she was a vampire”

“That’s about all I know too. They aren’t very open about her are they?” Elena asked curiously.

“Well, if you were in their shoes would you be open about it?” Katie asked with a head tilt.

“No I guess not.” Elena said with a shake of her head.

“So how are you and Stefan after everything that happened with Vicki?” Katie asked hesitantly not knowing if that was a subject that they could discuss.

“We broke up.” She said as she blinked back tears. “I just can’t do it. I can’t put up with the lies and the secrets and people getting hurt.” She ran her fingers through her hair pushing it out of her face and shrugged not knowing what else she could say. “What about you and Damon? Are you two still…whatever you were?”

“Yeah…”Katie drawled as she tucked a lock of red hair behind her ear. “I never really knew what we were, but I can’t forgive him for turning Vicki. So whatever it was is over now.”

“I still don’t see how you could like him in the first place.” Elena commented. “He’s not a good person. How could you see anything but bad in him?”

Katie took in a shaky breath, getting ready for what she was about to tell one of her best friends. “I was going to tell you and Bonnie and Caroline at the same time, but…” Katie stopped when a tear slipped down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away. “Didn’t you guys ever notice how often I had bruises…how often I got hurt?”

“Yeah, but you’re clumsy and you play sports…it happens.” Katie started shaking her head wondering if her friends were blind or if she was just that good at hiding it. “What are you trying to say?”

“My grandpa…” Katie said her hands shaking from trying to hold back her tears.

“No.” Elena said tears forming in her brown eyes as she realized what Katie was trying to tell her. “Tell me you’re not saying what I think you’re saying.” Katie just turned her eyes to the white comforter on the bed and let the tears fall. “All these years…all this time…the broken wrist from softball…the broken ankle from track that was all…Your grandpa’s doing?”

Katie finally looked up and nodded, tears slipping down her lightly freckled cheeks. She took her glasses off and Elena handed her some tissues off of the night stand. “Yeah.” She nodded as she wiped her face.

“I don’t get it. Why did you keep it a secret so long?” she asked, confused.

“I knew that if I told them, I would get taken away from the only home I’ve ever known. Not to mention my friends.” she said with a shrug.

“So why are you telling me now? What does this have to do with Damon?” Elena asked.

“Damon figured out what Grandpa was doing. After the football game, Grandpa was…upset, that Coach Tanner died and he decided to take it out on me. Damon heard what was going on, barged in and threatened to kill him.”

Elena’s brows raised and her mouth fell open. “He didn’t…did he?”

“I’m not gonna lie, a part of me wanted him to, but no. Instead he compelled him to never touch me again.” She answered, getting a headache from crying so much. “After that he helped me to my room, made sure none of my ribs were broken then stayed with me.” Katie said with a shrug.

“Yeah, but on that same night he murdered our teacher.” Elena argued.

“I’m aware.” Katie nodded. “He also didn’t have to help me. He could’ve carried on his merry way and let grandpa beat me to a pulp, but he didn’t. He made my life easier. I’m no longer afraid to open my front door, wondering if I’m going to get a black eye when I walk through it. For the first time in seven years I was truly happy. I’m not making excuses for him. I just want you to understand why you and I see him so differently.” Elena nodded as things fell quiet between them for a bit. “So are we good?” Katie asked, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, we’re good.” Elena sighed as she fell back to lay on the bed. “This is all just such a big mess.”

“Yep.” Katie said popping the p at the end of the word then laid down next to Elena and hugged a pillow to her chest. “At least I don’t have to keep secrets from you anymore.” Katie admitted.

“So we’re keeping Bonnie and Caroline out of this?” Elena asked.

“I think it would be safer if they don’t know.” Katie answered.

“Agreed.” Elena said before things fell silent again.

“So is Stefan a good kisser?” Katie asked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“Katie!” Elena laughed and hit Katie on her shoulder.

“What?” Katie laughed. “You know if Caroline was here she would ask.”

“Yeah she’d probably pry the answer out of me.” Elena said as she sat up. “Truth is I don’t have much to compare it to.”

“At least you have Matt to compare it to.” Katie said as she sat up. “I’ve got nothing.”

“Wait I thought you and Tyler…seven minutes in heaven, junior high?” Elena asked and Katie shook her head. “What? Even Tyler said that you guys made out.”

“Nope.” Katie said with a small smile. “We both lied to keep everyone from knowing that we were chickens.”

“So Damon was your first kiss?” Elena asked in awe. “How was it?”

“Not bad considering I had no earthly idea what I was doing, but he kind of took the wheel and crashed my train of thought into a brick wall so…pretty damn good.” She laughed and shrugged.

“Yeah Stefan’s pretty good too.” Elena finally admitted with a raised brow and a smirk. “It’s too bad things are so complicated with them.”

“Yep.” Katie answered then hopped up off of the bed. “I’m gonna head home. I’ve got a crap ton of homework to do and work after school tomorrow.”

“Alright, see you later.” Elena waved.

Katie waved over her shoulder and headed home.

#the vampire diaries #the vampire diaries damon salvatore #the vampire diaries damon #the vampire diaries fan #The Vampire Diaries fic #TVD #tvd damon #TVD damon salvatore #TVD Elijah #tvd fan fiction #tvd damonxoc #tvd damon salvatore oc #tvd damon salvatore x oc #tvd multi pairing

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heyyyharry · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter 9: Forever Childhood

(from the My Girl Trilogy: Stay Mine)

…in which childhood is not forever, but it doesn’t have to end.

Word count: 8k

AU: actor!Harry, childhood best friends, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).

Wattpad link (Thea as Y/N)

What to expect from this chapter: Many flashback scenes and LOTS LOTS LOTS of fluff.

“Knock knock.”

“Dad, you don’t have to say knock knock while actually knocking,” Y/N said without taking her eyes off the laptop screen. The door closed behind her as her dad walked in, squeezed her shoulders and kissed the top of her head twice.

“Why aren’t you with your friends in the backyard?”

“The treehouse’s gone; there’s nothing to do in the backyard,” she said, typing away. “And I’m sorry beforehand if Alice and Niall do something to Marcy’s flowers. Niall probably has never seen a garden as small as ours, and Alice is unpredictably crazy.”

“They’d make a good couple."

“Don’t tell Alice. She’d lose her mind,” Y/N said.

Feeling her dad peering at the screen, she tilted her head back to see his face. “What do you think?”

He leaned forward with both hands on the back of her chair, shaking his head. “A masterpiece. Shakespeare wished he’d come up with this.”

She snorted, leering at him. “From now on, all yours and Harry’s comments about my work are invalid.”

“We’re your biggest fans, Y/N.”

“That’s the problem. Love cancels honesty in this case.”

“Oh, God.”

Her dad spun her swivel chair around so they were face to face as he sat on the edge of her bed, his legs spread wide, elbows resting on his knees. He clasped his hands together in front and cocked his head. “Take a short break and talk to me, will you?”

She drummed her fingers on the armrests. “About my book?”

“Yeah, your book. And, well...boys.”

“Daaaad." She tossed her head back, groaning into her palms like an embarrassed teenager. “If this is about Blake and Harry–”

“Blake Roman,” her dad hissed as if the name was toxic. “I can’t believe you’re hanging out with him again. Is he still riding that stupid motorcycle from high school?”

“No. And Harry also owned a motorcycle, Dad.” He’d also crashed it and ended up in the hospital. There was no way she’d tell her dad about it.

“Well, I’m already biased, so Harry is good no matter what he does," her dad said. "I’m team Harry, by the way. That’s what you kids say, right? Team Edward. Team Jacob.”

Y/N dropped her face into her palms, shaking her head in defeat.

Her dad cleared his throat. “You and Harry are endgame, Y/N.”

“Oh my God, Dad!” She couldn’t help laughing as she looked up, smoothed her hair down and held it at her neck. “Marcy made you watch Riverdale again, didn’t she?”

“I kind of like it now,” he said thoughtfully. “It’s so dramatic. Everyone’s in love with everyone.”

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure the show writers are men your age.”

“That makes a lot more sense.”

“Anyway,” she giggled lightly. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m team Harry, too; I can’t believe you made me say that.” She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “Blake and I were a long time ago. I love Harry more than I can put into words.” She leaned back into her chair and puffed out her cheeks. “Though sometimes I feel like I can never be good enough. He’s just this wonderful person who does great things, and I’m just...I’m still trying to figure my life out.”

“And what’s wrong with that?”

She bit a nail. “People don’t think we’re compatible.”

“Do Marcy and I seem compatible to you?”

“You and Marcy are different.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. You just are.”

No couple was like her and Harry, which could be a good thing sometimes. Just not recently. Their conversation last night had made her feel more assured, but there was still this unsettling feeling she couldn’t seem to shake off. She’d told herself it only mattered what Harry thought of her; who cared about the others? As it turned out, she cared. More than she wanted to.

“Your feelings are normal, darling,” her dad said, rubbing the stubble on his chin. “To love is to set down your arrogance and allow yourself to be vulnerable. It proves that your love is worth it. Harry is worth it. And when something or someone is worth it, you have to hold onto them.”

“That’s beautiful, Dad," Y/N said, her eyebrows high. "Mind if I steal the quote for my book?”

“It’s not mine. It was your mother’s,” her dad answered.

A brief silence arose. The last time they’d talked about her mother had been a year ago. It wasn’t because they’d get awkward now that her dad had moved on; but because either one or both of them would get sad. She could deal with awkward. Sadness, however...

“I came to see her last night,” she said, pinching her lower lip.

“I know.”

“Harry told you?” When her dad nodded, a corner of her mouth turned up. “Are you like BFFs with my boyfriend now?”

Her dad let out a short breathy laugh as he rolled his shoulders. “I think I deserved to know when my adult daughter trespassed upon a cemetery.”

“I won’t do that again. Promise,” she said to her hands while picking at her nails. “I just...wanted to feel like a teenager again. Break the rules. Do crazy things without caring about the consequences. It’s dumb, I know. But being an adult has been hard lately.”

“Tell me about it,” he agreed with a growl, and they shared a laugh.

As silence sank in, her eyes darted to his face, considering his aging features. It wasn’t until today that she realised how much older he looked than he had when she moved to London; the wrinkles on his forehead and temples stood out much more; his eyes became wearier, his lips thinner. Those three years were evident on his kind face. It made her sad that he was growing old, and she hadn’t always been the best daughter to him since her mother had passed away.

She was getting older, too.

She pushed herself up, padded over to the bed, and sat down by his side. He folded her into his arms and pressed a kiss to her temple.

“It feels good to be home,” she whispered, cheek against his chest. “I wish I was still a little girl.”

“You are,” he said, stroking her hair. “You’re my little girl. Always.”

“Dad, where’s Mum?”

“She’s with Anne in the backyard.”

“Oh,” Y/N mumbled, frozen at the kitchen door like a Sim stuck in a glitch. It felt weird that her family still hung out with Harry’s now that she and Harry were no longer friends.

She shook her head to put aside the thoughts. “Well, I’m going out now.”

“With Celine and Amala?”

Her dad’s question stopped her before she turned. She leaned against the doorframe, one hand fumbling with the doorknob. “Why does it matter who I hang out with?”

“It matters if it’s that biker boy. What’s his name again?”

“Blake.”

“Yes.” Her dad crossed his arms, his eyes squinted. “The other parents aren’t very fond of him. I’ve heard stories about what he’s done to those girls.”

Blake had a bad reputation with the parents, mainly because he’d broken their daughters’ hearts.

“Well, he hasn’t done anything to me.”

“Yet,” her dad stated, his brows pinched together.

Y/N lifted her shoulder in a half-shrug. “Maybe I’ll break his heart this time.”

“Y/N…”

“Bye!”

She zipped out of the kitchen just in time Blake’s motorcycle roared in the drive. He opened the visor, smiled at her with his eyes, and she mounted his vehicle and put on her helmet.

“As slow as you can,” she said, looking back at the house.

Her dad was watching from the living room window as the motorcycle rumbled to life and drove away.

Y/N was helping Marcy in the kitchen when she looked out of the window and saw Blake’s car in front of their house. The doorbell rang. She cursed under her breath and told Marcy she’d be right back. As she scuttled out of the kitchen, her dad was heading to the front door. She slipped right past him and reached for the handle first.

"Hi, Y/N," Blake said as he greeted Y/N and her dad with a respectful smile. “Good morning, Mr Y/L/N.”

“It’s ‘sir’ to you.”

“Yes, sir.”

Y/N slapped her forehead as her dad gave Blake the firmest handshake she’d ever seen. If Blake had hands like Niall, he’d be in the hospital with broken fingers.

“What gave me the pleasure to finally see you on our doorsteps today?”

“Dad.”

Her dad ignored her when she nudged him with an elbow. “Funny how you’d dated my daughter for two years, and we’ve never had a proper conversation.”

“Forgive me, sir. I was a stupid teenager back then,” Blake said as he rubbed the back of his neck. It was only then that Y/N saw him holding a brown paper box in his left arm.

“Well, let’s put the past in the past,” her dad said, squeezing her shoulder as she shot him a glare.

Blake pointed to his car. “I’m going back to London now. I stopped by to see if Y/N needed a ride.”

Her dad pushed out his lower lip as he turned to her. “You’re going with Harry tonight, right?”

“Yes. But thank you for driving me home yesterday,” she said to Blake. “How’s your grandma?”

“Oh, she’s fine. Turned out she lied about being sick so I’d come home to see her,” he breathed out a laugh and cleared his throat as he held out the box. “She made cupcakes and asked me to bring some to you.”

Before Y/N could answer, her dad took the box and went back inside. She decided to ignore him.

“I can’t believe she remembers me,” she told Blake.

“You were the only girl I’ve brought to see her,” he said.

Not knowing how to reply, she shuffled from one foot to the other, hands clasped behind her back. Blake took it as a sign to end the conversation as he told her he’d see her in London, then returned to his car.

She waited until he started the engine to close the door and came back to the kitchen. Marcy was reorganising their fridge, while Y/N’s dad counted the cupcakes in the box.

“...ten, eleven, twelve.”

He picked one and looked at her. When she waved her hand for permission, he took a bite and released a satisfied hum. She knew Grandma Roman's cupcakes were good; she'd eaten them plenty of times before.

“Good morning!” Harry said like a game show host as he entered from their backdoor and grabbed her from behind. “Girlfriend.” He kissed her cheek before turning to her dad and Marcy. “Bradford. Marcy.”

“There’s my superstar!” Marcy said with a quick glance over her shoulder.

“Want one?” Y/N’s dad held the box toward Harry, who brightened like a kid in a candy store as he leaned forward to grab a cupcake.

“Blake just brought them here,” Y/N told him.

He froze for a second, then took a large bite and started chewing extravagantly. “I’ll eat all of these so you won’t get poisoned by another man's love," he said with his mouth full.

She looped an arm around his head from below and drew his face in so she could whisper in his ear, “Don’t be jealous. I swallow your love all the time.”

His hand instantly flew to her mouth to muffle her giggles when her dad stared at them questioningly. “What is it?”

“Y/N said a bad word," Harry said, his dimple growing.

Her dad jabbed at her with his finger, and she crossed her arms, scowling at Harry. “Teacher’s pet."

Once he finished the cupcake, she dragged him to the living room. Their mouths attached right as they were alone. She snogged him hungrily, back against the wall, fingers in his hair. His massive hands went under her velvet tennis skirt and caressed her arse, while his mouth trailed down her neck, sucking the sensitive spot below her ear. She loved when he paid attention to that spot; it made her toes tingle.

She could hear her dad talking to Marcy about building a birdhouse in their backyard. They’d spend at least an hour on any topic related to the garden, so Harry and Y/N could have sex right on the sofa in the middle of the living room without getting caught. She just didn’t want to risk it, even though that idea was pervertishly exciting.

“My room. Come on.”

“Can’t,” he groaned and held her back by the hips. Her fake shocked expression got him laughing as he kissed between her brows, the tip of her nose, her upper lip. “I miss you terribly, but I still need to talk to my mum.”

“You haven’t?”

“She’d gone out when I woke up,” he sighed and rubbed her pout with his thumb. “I’ll come back to play with you later. Promise.”

She stuck out her tongue, eyes rolled upward. As he kissed her neck and placed his hands on her bum, the sound of someone clearing their throat broke them apart. They saw Alice and Niall watching them judgingly from the kitchen door.

“I ate some of your Blake cupcakes. Hope you don’t mind,” Niall said with an apologetic grin.

“Told ya he was worse,” Y/N said to Harry, who arched his lips in a smirk and kissed her temple before he left. Niall raised his palm, expecting a high-five as Harry strutted by, but Harry high-fived Niall’s forehead instead and disappeared through the front door.

Harry’s mum was crying.

He didn’t know what had happened as he’d just woken up and gone to the kitchen. Gemma had spent the night at her best friend’s place, so there were just him and his mum.

His mum wiped her tears with the sleeve of her jumper and poured black coffee into the ‘No. 1 MUM’ mug – a gift from Gemma on Mother’s Day. Harry stood like a ghost in the doorway, picking at his nails while holding his breath. Like observing a squirrel from a distance, if he made a sound or came too close, it would run away and find a place to hide. His mum wouldn’t run and hide, but she'd fake a smile and act like nothing was wrong. There was nothing worse than wanting to cry but couldn’t.

“Why are you standing there, dork?”

Gemma’s voice made him jump, and his mum shot her head up, looking straight at him like a deer in headlights. Gemma stopped beside him, her mouth formed a silent ‘o’ as she finally caught on to what was happening.

Gemma wasn’t like him. She was straightforward.

“Mum, are you crying?”

Their mum sighed. She gracefully slid into a chair, lifted the mug to her chapped lips with both hands, and blew into her coffee. Harry and Gemma exchanged worrying looks as they walked in. Harry sat on their mum’s left, Gemma on her right. Their mum put down her coffee without having taken a sip and wrapped each arm around each of them.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” she said, her voice too brittle, like it would break if she spoke any louder.

“Was it something Gemma did?” Harry asked, and Gemma swatted him on the arm.

“It’s ‘He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’,” she said.

Harry’s heart jumped a little, then he saw the distress on his mum's and Gemma’s face, and his mouth clamped shut before he blurted out something stupid.

Gemma hated their dad. When she was in a good mood, she called him Winton. The other times, she’d refer to him as ‘that man’, ‘You-Know-Who’, or ‘He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’; she was obsessed with Harry Potter.

Harry felt wrong to still call their dad Dad inside his head. In front of Gemma and their mum, he wouldn’t mention Dad at all. The last time he’d done it, his mum had cried. She didn’t hate his dad; she loved him, which was much worse.

“You two don’t have to worry about me,” she said, looking out of the window by the sink. The sky was grey and turning dark. “This kind of weather makes me tired and moody.” Then she asked Harry, “what would you like for breakfast?”

As he opened his mouth to answer, Gemma interjected, “Is he coming back? Is that why you’re upset? Let me know and I won’t let him come near our house, I–”

“Gemma,” their mother cut her off. “He’s not coming back. He’s never coming back.” Then she paused for an indecisive moment. “A friend of mine saw him in Manchester last night; he was with someone else. His new wife. Maybe his girlfriend. But he’s never coming back.”

Harry didn’t know why she could say something in a matter-of-fact tone and still make it sound so sad. It must have taken her years of practice to act like she was fine when she wasn't.

Before he knew it, a tear had escaped the corner of his eye. He quickly wiped it off his cheek so his mum and sister couldn’t see him cry. He didn’t want to make this moment about him.

Gemma wrapped her arms around their mum’s waist, and he did it too, his arms over Gemma's. They both rested their head against their mother's chest. Being on her left, he could hear the beating of her heart so clearly as if it was his own. If hugs could heal all types of wounds, his mum's hugs could bring a dead person back to life. He would never tell her, though; stuff like this was too dark for her liking.

“We don’t need him; we’re fine the way we are. Just the three of us,” Gemma said. She sounded like she was going to cry, but Harry knew she’d never cry. At least not in front of him.

The last time he’d seen her cry had been a few weeks ago. This boy named Eli had just broken up with her. She’d been in her room. The door had been left unlocked (she must have forgotten to lock it). He’d burst in to prank her with a plastic snake when she shot her head up, mascara running down her face. He’d been frozen when she marched over and slammed the door in his face. They’d never talked about that.

“Just the three of us,” their mum repeated, sounding more cheerful than before as she squeezed them a little tighter. “Now I’m going to make you some eggs, and after breakfast, we’ll grow some new plants in our garden, yeah?”

“Can I use the shovel this time?” Gemma asked.

“She always gets to use the shovel!” Harry objected.

After breakfast, their mum went to the shop and brought home a new shovel.

When Harry returned to the house, he found Gemma sitting with their mum in the kitchen.

With a twitch of her lips, which was meant to be a smile, his mother motioned to the chair beside her and told him to take a seat. His heart was losing its rhythm as he padded around the table to sit on her left.

“I’ve told her,” Gemma said right as he opened his mouth. Mouth still open, he glanced at his mum, who brought a hand to his face and cupped his cheek.

“You might think I’m angry at you, but I’m not, Harry,” she said. “I can’t stop you from wanting to take him back. He’s still your father.”

“He’s not our father. He’s Winton,” Gemma said, eyes piercing at Harry. “Tell her.”

He couldn’t. And his mum knew it. She batted Gemma’s request away with an easy wave of her hand and said, “Your brother is entitled to his own feelings, Gem. Besides, Winton–” it was the first time he’d heard her say that name “–has paid for our losses with his own. I don’t think I can ever forgive him for what he’s done to us, but I do feel sorry for him. And I think Harry has done the right thing by treating him and his daughter with kindness. And Gemma, you have also done the right thing by being protective of your brother.”

“I was protecting all three of us.” Gemma pouted like a little girl as she snuggled into their mother’s arm.

“It’s always gonna be the three of us, Gem,” their mother said, stroking their hair tenderly. “No matter who comes and goes in and out of our lives. We’re together forever. You’re always gonna be my babies. Nothing is going to change that.”

When Harry heard a sniffle, he almost didn’t pay attention, until he saw Gemma covering her eyes, her shoulders rising and falling unsteadily.

She was crying. What had happened? Was it because of him? Oh no, what had he done?

“Ashton broke up with me,” she muttered in sobs.

“Son of a bitch!” Harry half-shouted. Their mum shot him a disapproving glare, which he ignored as his hands squeezed into fists, clenching so hard his knuckles turned white. He felt like he could punch a hole in the wall or kick a chair to release his anger.

The last time he’d seen Gemma cry, she’d cried over an asshole. Now she was crying over another asshole. This time must be worse because she didn’t lock herself in a room. Her tears just came falling, and they didn’t stop.

Harry didn’t know much about Asher because Gemma barely talked about her relationships. But he’d always sensed something douchey about that rich bloke.

“Was he cheating on you?” he asked.

“No.” Gemma shook her head. “It’s nothing like that.” She kept her face down and rubbed her eyes with the heel of her palm. “It’s not an official break up. He asked for a short break…”

“Fucking asshole.” Harry exhaled sharply, his lip drawn back in a snarl. “Do you want me to talk to him?”

“No, Harry, please. I don’t want you to do anything. Just–” she halted to suck in a rapid breath “–I just want you to know. Please don’t do anything.”

His stomach twisted as he got up and wrapped his arms around his mum and Gemma. When he was small, he’d wished to be older and bigger, so he could hold them both at once and protect them from all the bad things in the world. Now that they fit so perfectly in his embrace, the best he could do was simply be their shoulder to cry on.

Isaac should have knocked.

Three sets of eyes fell on him like he’d committed a crime in broad daylight. He was about to apologise and return to the living room when he caught a glimpse of Gemma, and noticed the faint black smudges below her bottom lashes.

She’d been crying. Harry looked like he needed a punching bag. And Anne was staring blankly at her coffee cup.

It wasn’t because of Isaac, was it? Had Gemma told them what had happened that day outside the coffee shop? And yesterday in the car. And last night, when she brought him an extra blanket before bed. All they’d done was kiss, and yet he felt like he’d ruined her life. He wouldn’t be surprised if Harry tackled him to the floor right this instant.

It was Gemma who got up first. She blinked rapidly as if to hold back her tears and brushed past him out of the kitchen.

“There you are, Isaac,” Anne said as she pushed away from the table. “Sit. I’ll make you breakfast.”

“Thanks, Anne. You’re the best,” Isaac said and pulled up a seat across from Harry.

Isaac could see his snowball of lies rolling straight downhill at full speed, and right before it crashed down on him, Harry broke the silence.

“Did Gem say anything to you on the drive here?”

“No, she didn’t,” Isaac said. “Did something happen? Was she crying?”

Harry furiously raked his fingers through his hair. “That son of a bitch broke up with her.”

“Asher?”

“Yeah.”

“When?”

“Before she came here with you, I think. She didn’t say anything at all?”

“No.” Isaac shook his head, his right fist tightened on his knee under the table. They’d kissed three times, and she hadn’t bothered to tell him about the breakup.

At least now he knew the killer look on Harry’s face had been for Asher, not him. And only his first kiss with Gemma had been wrong; even when it had felt everything but.

“Mum, I’m going to Y/N’s,” Harry announced, then came to give Anne a kiss before he left.

Gemma knocked on the door of Harry’s dorm room, fingers clutching the hem of her shirt.

Maybe she should have let him know she’d come to London. She’d been afraid he’d say he was busy. She had to see him. Not to talk about her recent breakup, of course. Harry didn’t know about the guy because she never told him.

Her friends had warned her beforehand that this relationship was going to go sour, and as always, she hadn’t listened. She didn’t want to come to them and whine about it now; they’d punish her with endless I told you so’s.

When the door swung open, it wasn’t Harry.

A tall blond-haired lad asked Gemma whom she was looking for. He looked like a human Ken doll and smelt like a Calvin Klein holiday pop-up. Her mind stuttered for a whole second.

“Sorry, I must have come to the wrong room.”

“Wait. Gemma, right?” he asked, pointing a finger at her. “You’re Harry’s sister.”

“Does Harry live here?”

“Yes, I’m his roommate. Isaac.” He opened the door wider and nodded his head inside. “Come in. Harry will be back soon.”

She reluctantly entered. The room was neat and had a mild floral scent, which made her doubt her brother actually lived here; his room at home was always a pigsty. When she saw his guitar in the corner of the room, her shoulders rounded with relief.

Isaac sat on the bottom bunk and beckoned her over. She did as she was bid and took a seat in the chair across from him.

“He didn’t know you were coming?” he asked.

“No. I wanted to surprise him.” It didn’t matter if it wasn’t the truth. She barely knew this lad anyway.

Isaac looked away, his lips pressed together as he drummed his fingers on the mattress. The conversation turned sour. Neither knew what to say. Gemma scanned her eyes around the room, desperately wanting to find a topic to discuss so they wouldn’t have to stay silent until Harry returned. Fuck, she hated small talks.

“You’re a photographer?” she asked as soon as she spotted the expensive cameras displayed on the shelf by the bunk bed.

“I major in Photography.”

“Wicked.”

He chuckled at her awkward comment. His eyes were even bluer and clearer than the ocean. Was that a dimple she saw? Shit, had she been staring?

“What do you study, Gemma? You’re a student, right?”

“I major in Economics,” her voice was so soft it sounded like she was embarrassed by the answer. She wasn’t. This guy was just really attractive, and attractive people intimidated her.

“So you’re really smart,” he said, a line appeared between his perfectly even brows.

“People who do arts are really smart, too.”

“I never said we aren’t.” He lifted his shoulders. “But in my opinion, economists are up here on the 'really smart' scale.” He raised his hand above his head, which got her beaming. “I can’t deal with numbers. They make my head hurt,” he added. “Harry, on the other hand, is excellent at those sorts of things. And somehow he wants to become an actor.”

“I know right? I hate how almost perfect he is,” Gemma groaned. “But he’s a very messy person. Has he been a terrible roommate?”

“He’s actually pleasant to live with. My last roommate always had sex while I was in the room,” Isaac said with a look of disgust. “I used to have the upper bunk. One night I thought there was an earthquake until I heard them moaning.”

“Oh my God,” she exclaimed, covering her mouth and giggling lightly.

Isaac pretended to shiver with his whole body. “I get goosebumps just thinking about it. When I moved to this room, I went straight to the bottom one,” he said, patting the empty spot beside him.

Another moment of awkward silence passed by.

“I’m just thankful that Harry doesn’t bring girls back here," Isaac said. "Some nights he doesn’t come back at all, so it’s like I’ve got this room all to myself.”

Gemma rolled her eyes. “When he was at home, he always snuck out in the middle of the night. He was such a ladies man.”

“Still is.”

“Oh no!” Harry’s voice made their heads shoot to the door. “How long have you two been talking about me?”

“Not long enough,” Isaac answered as he pushed himself up and grabbed his black camera bag on the desk beside the bed. To Gemma, he said, “When we meet again, I expect more of his embarrassing stories.”

“Hurry the fuck up, Isaac.” Harry aggressively clapped his hands like Gordon Ramsay on those cooking shows. “Lindsey is waiting downstairs. And she told me to tell you to hurry the fuck up.”

Of course Isaac had a girlfriend. Gemma didn't expect anything and still, she was disappointed. She bet his girlfriend looked like a Barbie doll.

“Coming, coming.” Isaac threw the bag over his shoulder and saluted Gemma as he walked backwards toward the door. “Hope to see you again soon, Gemma,” he said, his little dimple popping again.

There must be something wrong with her. Gemma was sure of it.

She sat on her childhood bed, back against the headboard, chewing on her nail. Despite having stopped crying a while ago, her eyes still felt too heavy as more tears threatened to spill at any moment.

She heard a knock on the door, and assumed it was her mum because Harry never knocked (when he did, never so gently). Too bad, it wasn't her mum.

Isaac lifted a hand awkwardly to say hi when she opened the door, a boyish grin stretching his rosy lips. He had what she liked to call (in her head) ‘a secret dimple’. Hers and Harry’s dimples would go all out with only a slight twitch of their mouths, while Isaac’s dimple was reserved for certain people – those he cared a bit more than the others to smile a bit wider so his dimple became visible. It always was when he saw her.

She decided not to think too much about it.

“Your mum told me to tell you to come downstairs for breakfast,” he said.

Had anyone told him he looked like a Ken doll?

“I’ve already eaten with Harry this morning.” She rubbed her forearms while avoiding eye contact. “Anything else?”

God, she sounded like a bitch. It’d sounded less rude in her head.

“Are you okay?” he asked, unbothered by her obnoxious attitude. As she took too long to answer (she wasn’t going to, anyway), he went straight to the point. “Why didn’t you tell me that you and your boyfriend broke up?”

“We didn’t actually break up, he–” broke up with me “We took a short break.”

“After you’d told him about us?”

“No. I haven’t got a chance to.”

She couldn’t believe she was lying to Isaac. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise as she hadn’t been truthful to anyone since Winton had returned, not even to herself. She’d said she didn’t want to see him; she’d lied. She’d said she couldn’t understand why Harry could forgive Winton; she’d lied. She’d said she’d been in a happy relationship; she’d lied. She’d said she didn’t like Isaac, not like that; she’d lied.

She’d been lying so much it got easier and easier each time. Now it was impossible to stop.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Isaac repeated the question she’d tried to avoid.

“Didn’t feel like it was important,” she said to her feet.

“Wow, okay.”

She looked at him through her lashes. His secret dimple was gone. His jawline turned sharper as he tried not to frown.

“You know what? Forget it,” he sounded out of breath as he dropped his head and rubbed the corner of his eye with a finger. She pulled on his sleeve, and he backed away, still gazing at the floor.

“I’m done with whatever this is, Gem,” he said. “I’m tired of being somebody’s temporary something. Second choice, an opportunity, a rebound, whatever you call it.”

She knew what he meant. Y/N had chosen Harry over him. Gemma didn’t know much about his relationship with Emilia, but that girl had exploited Isaac’s kindness. He was too nice for everyone, especially Gemma.

“It’s me, Isaac. I’m the problem,” she said before he turned away, closing her eyes as it felt like she was talking to herself and not to him. “I think something’s wrong with me.”

“What are you saying?”

She allowed herself to look at him. His doll-like lips curved into a frown. All she could think about was how pretty he looked.

“I’m messed up,” she mumbled, pointing to the left side of her chest. “In here…

“I’ve spent my whole life chasing after men who reminded me of my dad. I throw myself into relationships in which I have to fight for a man’s love and attention. And when there’s someone who genuinely cares about me, I push him away because I don’t feel like I deserve it. I hurt people who love me and cry over the ones who don’t. And you’re the last person I want to hurt because…

“Because you’re the best of them all.”

After this, Isaac might never look at her the same way again. The last guy she’d opened up to had told her she’d had daddy issues and needed therapy, which wasn’t entirely wrong though he could have been nicer about it. Isaac, however, would never say such things.

“I also feel that way,” he said after a moment’s silence.

She nodded, biting her lower lip. She thought she knew what he meant, until he added, “You’re the best of them all, Gem.”

Her eyes shot at him, and his secret dimple reappeared. Before she could restart her brain, he took one large step, his long arms draped around her.

“Want some help with that?”

Harry’s head snapped up, his eyes widened at the man in his drive. He recognised the man right away. That was his neighbour. Y/N’s dad.

Harry had only talked to Y/N's mum because Y/N's dad – with a squared stern face and angry brows – reminded Harry of his Biology teacher. Mr Johnson hated Harry because Harry barely passed most of his exams. But Bradford barely knew Harry beside the fact that Harry lived next door and was friends with Y/N.

Harry shifted his eyes between his bicycle lying defeatedly on the lawn and back at Bradford, who was still waiting for an answer. Harry wanted to say he got this. But his hands were covered with the ‘black stuff’ from having spent the last hour trying to tighten the chain on his bicycle.

Bradford broke into a toothy smile – which changed his entire face (in a good way) – and walked across the yard toward Harry.

Harry stepped aside, hands in his trousers pockets as Bradford got down on one knee and observed the crime scene. Harry felt like he should report what had happened though it was obvious. “The chain is too loose. It keeps coming undone while I ride.”

“I see.” Bradford slapped his hands on his thighs and pushed himself upright. He mimicked Harry’s posture with both hands in his pockets as he cocked his head toward his house. “Bring it to my garage. I’ll fix it.”

Harry stumbled over the bicycle, picked it up and rolled it after Bradford.

Y/N had always complained about her dad and described him as somewhat apathetic and narcissistic. Now that Harry had interacted with Bradford, he thought Bradford was pretty cool. Probably because Harry didn’t know what it was like to have a dad who didn’t only fix his bicycle, but also taught him how to maintain and clean it.

He wished Bradford would play football with him and take him fishing, too.

“I admire you, Harry,” Bradford said as he sat on a tool and wiped his greasy hands with a tattered rag. “It’s Harry, right?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Call me Bradford.” Bradford smiled again. He looked like the Joker when he smiled. Not in a creepy way; his smile was just really wide and his teeth were really neat and white. Maybe he hated smiling because those teeth could blind people.

“I can’t. My mum would scold me.”

“You’re a good kid, Harry,” Bradford said as he clasped Harry’s bony shoulder with his large hand. “And I admire you because Y/N is really fond of you. It’s hard to get close to her, but you’re different. She never listens to me but would do anything you say.”

Bradford made it sound like Y/N was a little monster while she was the total opposite. When Harry thought of her, he thought of candy floss and daisies, and vanilla; she smelt like vanilla, and he loved vanilla.

“I really like Y/N,” he said, and when Bradford’s bright smile began to dim, Harry quickly added, “As a friend, sir. She’s like my little sister.”

To be honest, Harry didn’t think of Y/N as his little sister. She talked like a kid his age (only more naive), and he’d already got a sister. He and Gemma didn’t get along as well as he and Y/N did. He wasn’t sure what Y/N was to him. Definitely not a sister.

Bradford didn’t comment on what Harry had said. He patted Harry on the arm, got up and pointed to the bicycle. “If there’s any more problem, bring it to me.”

“Yes, sir,” Harry said, nodding quickly.

“I think it’s so cute that yours and Y/N’s family decided to build a gate between your backyards,” Alice said as soon as she saw Harry. She and Niall had brought the wooden chairs from the veranda outside to sit beside the tiny tree, which had grown about thirty centimetres since Harry’s mum had planted it.

Harry towered over to Niall and Alice while they sat like The Thinker, contemplating the plant as if it would grow legs and dance for them if they waited long enough.

“You really have nothing to do, huh?” he asked, holding back a laugh.

“Is this where you first met Y/N?” Alice asked him.

“Yeah.”

“You two should get married here,” Niall said.

“How tall will this tree be when you two finally get married?” Alice asked.

“Don’t know.”

“Ha!” Alice stabbed a finger at him. “You have thought about marrying Y/N.”

“Please let me know when you propose.”

Harry whipped around. It was a male voice so he didn’t know why his heart nearly burst through his chest thinking Y/N had heard the conversation.

Bradford stopped beside Harry and clasped Harry’s shoulder. “Got time? I need some help with the birdhouse.”

“Oh, you’re building it today?” Harry asked.

“Yup. You’re leaving tonight and I need help.”

They crossed the fence to the wooden shed in Bradford's backyard, which he’d built after the storm that had knocked down the tree.

There wasn’t a lot of work to do with the birdhouse. Harry had built one for an art project back in middle school; it was pretty simple. Bradford had only asked for his help so they’d finish quicker.

Harry cut the large piece of wood into different parts, and drilled holes into each of them so Bradford could sand the edges of the newly drilled holes.

“I can’t believe I used to fix your bicycle. Now you’re doing all the heavy work, and you’re dating my daughter," Bradford said.

“Dating Y/N is hard work, too, sir.”

“What?”

Harry stopped abruptly, his face pallid. “No, that was a joke, I–”

“Just messing with you.” Bradford laughed and motioned him to continue. “Y/N is hard work. So headstrong, just like her mother. But I think you’ll be fine with her. She’s different with you.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Stop calling me sir. It’s Bradford.”

“Bradford,” Harry said.

“Good.” Bradford flashed his Joker smile, his teeth still as bright as they’d always been.

“So how’s the thing with your dad?” he asked while they were assembling the pieces together. Harry raised his brows, taken aback. “You don’t have to answer, by the way,” Bradford added. “Y/N didn’t tell me. Niall Horan did.”

Harry snorted. “You don’t have to call him Niall Horan. Just Niall.”

“Marcy kept calling him Niall Horan because she’s obsessed with him. I can’t just call him Niall.” Bradford stood straight and started stretching, his back made a pop. “Anyway, forget that I asked.” He stepped back, hands on his hips as he admired their finished work. “What do you think?”

“We should paint it,” Harry said.

Bradford stuck out his lower lip, rubbing his chin like an artist in a gallery. “Yeah. Maybe tomorrow. Y/N would kill me if I kept you here for too long.”

“Where is she?”

“Bedroom. Serious writer mode.”

Harry nodded understandingly as he wiped his dusty hands with a cloth. “I just told my mum about him. My dad."

“How did it go?”

“Better than I expected. She was fine with him coming back into our lives. I don’t know if she was just saying that or…”

“I think she meant it,” Bradford said. “It’s been twenty years, hasn’t it? And Anne is one of the most forgiving and loving people I know. You and Gemma are adults now; it’s fair that you get to make up your own mind.”

Harry pursed his lips. “You’re probably right."

“Anyway.” Bradford waved dismissively. “Thanks for your help. Now go check on Y/N.” Then he jabbed at Harry, his face stern again. “I trust you not to follow her into a cemetery again.”

“Never again, sir,” Harry said, straightened like a soldier.

Y/N stirred awake when she felt a warm body snuggling her from behind. She didn’t have to look to know it was Harry; his ‘Harry’ scent, which she was shamelessly addicted to, couldn’t be mistaken with anything else.

He held her waist tighter, pressed his face into her hair and said in a raspy voice, “Hi, baby. Sleep well?”

“I can’t believe I fell asleep,” she groaned and flipped over to face him, slipping her hands under the pillow. “How long have you been watching me sleep, Edward?”

A corner of his lips rose at the Twilight reference. He rubbed her stomach and trailed his hand under her shirt. His warmth against her cool skin made her shiver.

“Actually, your dad told me to go check on you.”

“Hmm. Did he give you shit for taking me to the cemetery last night?”

“Psst. He knew you forced me to go.”

“You’re trying to steal my dad. Not cool, Harry.” She scrunched up her nose which made him laugh. He brushed her hair out of her face and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“Been writing?”

“I pulled an allnighter.”

“I knew it,” he said, probably to himself. “Why do you keep working on the story, though? I thought it’d been finished and sent.”

“Sent to Laura, who sent it right back.”

“Why?”

“Because it wasn’t good enough.”

“She said it was good,” Harry said.

Y/N flipped onto her back and placed her arm over her forehead as he propped his head up in his hand. “Not good good. Not ready-to-publish good,” she said tiredly.

“It’s the story of us. It’s good good.”

She squinted her eyes at him. “If you’re suggesting that I use your name for PR–”

“What? No. Why do you always think the worst of me?”

“You tell me.”

He rolled his eyes and snorted at her pouty face. “What I meant was, it’s a story about us, so it's good the way you wrote it.”

She flipped onto her stomach, cheek in her hand as she blew out her cheeks. “After all the changes I've made, it’s not the story of us anymore.”

“Is it supposed to be a good thing.”

“If I get published. Yeah.”

“Why do you want to get published?”

“Because I want to become a real writer?” She looked at him funny. Did he really ask her that?

“You are a real writer, Bambi,” he said softly and tucked a strand behind her ear. “So when you get published, it should be your original story. Childhood doesn’t last forever, but in your world…” he poked at her chest “...it does…

“And our childhood was too beautiful to be contaminated by those commercialised inputs. I want our children to read it and see us. Not some fictional characters who are nothing like us.”

“Our children?” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“Our separate children because we’ll obviously marry other people,” he joked and she playfully shoved his head into the pillow.

She climbed on top of him to straddle his waist and brought his palm to her cheek. He stroked it with his thumb. “I love when you say things,” she said. “You should be a writer.”

“But I’m not.” He slipped his hand free to boop her nose. “You are. You’ve always been. And I’m your biggest fan.”

“You’ll have to compete with my dad for that position.”

“Oh?” He pretended to look worried. “Okay then, between you and me, I’m your biggest fan.”

Harry had fallen asleep with his head on Y/N's shoulder. He’d asked if he could stay and watch her write. “You look sexy when you momentarily forget I exist,” he’d joked. Fifteen minutes later, he was snoring.

She carefully propped his head on a pillow, put down her laptop, and slid out of bed, taking her phone with her. Once she was outside her room, she closed the door and called Laura.

“Yes, my favourite client of all time?” Laura said cheerfully. She always said that, but Y/N didn’t think she meant it.

“Hey, Laura. About my book, I...uhm...I was wondering if it’d be okay if we...you know...discuss the changes again? To be honest, I don’t feel comfortable with most of them.”

“Y/N,” Laura stressed the name like it was the hardest word in the dictionary. Y/N bit her lip as she braced herself for a long speech of ‘trust me, I’m your agent’. But then Laura said, “You’re the writer. I may have given you a bunch of notes, but they were just suggestions. You’re the decision-maker here. It’s your story, and it’s good. That’s why I wanted to work with you in the first place.”

Y/N’s heart leapt as she pressed a fist to her forehead.

“Send me an email of the changes you’d like to make. We’ll discuss when you get back to London, okay?”

“Thank you. Thank you so much!” Y/N brightened. She couldn’t wait to tell Harry and her dad. They would get so excited and smug and probably tell her, ‘I told you to believe in yourself’ or some cheesy shit like that.

She loved her goofy men.

“This is why you’re my favourite client, Y/N,” Laura said before they ended the call. “You always know what you want.”

#harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfics #harry styles fanfictions #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles series #my girl series

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dalgikiss · 5 years ago

Text

Catch-22 // h. iwaizumi

index

part 14

When you yell, you yell for plenty of reasons but never because you’re angry.

You yell at Oikawa for bothering you and messing up your notes, you yell at Hanamaki for taking your food, you yell at Iwaizumi when he flicks your forehead a little too hard after you lose a bet and it leaves an ugly red mark on your forehead for days to come and you yell at Matsukawa when he teases you about your height and holds your shoes up, just out of your reach.

You yell at a lot of things, but you never mean a word you say, reassuring your boys that it’s all a joke through the teasing lilt in your voice.

You cry a lot too

Matsukawa likes to call you the crybaby of Seijoh, a title you hate but you’ve given up on trying to make him shut up about it because he never lets you win.

(He may call you the crybaby of seijoh, but he always has a pack of tissues kept handy in his blazer and holds you tight against his chest while you soak the front of his shirt)

You once cried so hard while watching Endgame, you almost blacked out from the lack of oxygen and Iwaizumi was busy fanning your face in order to get you to come back to your senses while Oikawa ran around in circles panicking.

In the whole three years you’ve known your friends, you have never done both at the same time, a feat they have found extremely impressive because of how animated you are when you talk.

They know you like the back of your hand, immediately able to decipher your feelings within a moment of hearing the tone of your voice. Sometimes, you wonder if it's a curse or a blessing in disguise.

Hanamaki once said that if anyone ever witnessed you crying and yelling (like actually yelling, he has to emphasize this because you are a loud person) at the same time, it was going to be the end of the world.

If we follow Hanamaki’s theory, the world ends after you retrieve your keys

“If I were a pair of keys, where would I be?” You ask yourself, fully knowing the correct answer to your rhetorical question would be in your bag.

You check the teacher’s podium and the lost and found bin in the front of the room but to your dismay, you find nothing but the teacher’s attendance book on the podium and a few stray gloves and pencils in the bin.

Are you dumb? Iwaizumi’s voice rings in your head and you unconsciously stick your tongue out

Your desk, check by your desk, he chides you, a rough voice that struggles to keep it’s serious tone

Your eyes light up when you spot your key ring on the floor next to your desk, letting out a sigh of relief at the sight of it.

You crouch down to pick it up, pulling off pieces of dust that had gotten stuck on the ridges of your keys.

They say that a sound can travel 1125 feet in still air and while you’ve never thought to argue against it, you find that this does in fact ring true to its words and you still your movements when you hear Ryuoko and Iwaizumi arguing down the hallway.

You tell yourself this is not your conversation to hear but your curiosity is stronger than your common sense and you stay crouched on the floor, legs growing numb with every second you stay.

The argument dies down and you wonder when is the right time to get back up again so you could make your getaway without seeing anyone and once the sound of Ryuoko’s footsteps fades into the distance, you let out a huge sigh, dropping down onto the floor to try and get the feeling back into your legs.

You’re too busy shaking your legs to get the blood rushing back to notice Iwaizumi walk in.

“The floor’s dirty”

You look up, round eyes meeting his green ones. He stares down at you unamused and you hastily stand up, dusting yourself off. “Forgot my keys” You laugh, twirling it around your finger. He watches it make circles around your pointer finger, the volleyball keychain that had been gifted to you by Oikawa, a gift for Aoba Johsai Volleyball Club's biggest fan, swinging around wildly before grunting and turning around to collect his things.

The air between the two of you feels heavy, weighed down by the things unspoken. Within the friendship, Iwaizumi had always been the pillar of support, standing tall and strong behind the four of you to let you grow and you were unsure of what to do. All you know is the way your gut churns with every passing moment, your heart pounding in your ears and was your breathing always this loud?

An unknown force propels you to speak despite all your instincts telling you to run and when you look back at this moment, you reprimand yourself for not listening but you want to get rid of the elephant in the room.

“Is everything okay?” Your voice is so low, even you struggle to hear it.

He shoves his notebook into his bag with a little more strength than needed, refusing to spare you even a glance. “Absolutely perfect”

You bite your bottom lip, pocketing your keys. “Alright, I’ll see you later. Oh, I meant to ask you before class ended but can I please get your notes for the next few days-”

“Everything’s always about you, isn’t it?”

“What?” You stare up at him, wide and unblinking eyes. He slams his bag back down onto the table, the old desk letting out creaks of protest under his strength and for a moment, you get a vivid flashback of young Iwaizumi standing before you again.

“Everything is always about you. From the moment I wake up to the moment I sleep, it’s always about you”

You remember the yellow light that shines in Iwaizumi’s room from his hallway and his mother’s voice- concerned, tired, motherly.

“Every single moment of my life is dedicated towards you. Give me a fucking break for once”

You remember your stiff limbs and your shallow breaths

“Even with my girlfriend, it’s about you. Don’t you get tired of always having someone baby you?”

You remember your scratchy throat and dry mouth and the tears threatening to pool out your eyes.

“Aren’t you tired of being so fucking needy?”

You remember apologizing and it’s almost an exact repeat of the last time he was angry at you, the time he had sworn to you would never happen again but Iwaizumi is only human and humans break promises, no matter how hard they try.

This time, you swore to yourself as you attempted to hold back your tears, this time was going to be different.

“Aren’t you tired of blaming your fucking problems on me?” Your voice is shrill and grates against your throat and you tell yourself to be strong so your voice comes out evenly. “Whatever problems you have with your girlfriend is due to her insecurities, it has nothing to do with me and if you don’t see that then you’re just as blind as she is”

You angrily wipe away your tears with the base of your palm, letting out a wry laugh when you feel your heated cheeks and damp eyelashes. “Matsun was right, I really am the crybaby of Seijoh”

The hiccups force their way out of you and you wonder what you look like in Iwaizumi’s eyes with your sweaty, sticky skin, hair that’s beginning to plaster themselves onto the sides of your face and embarrassingly red cheeks. Pitiful, to say the least.

“But you know what I’m not?” You clench your hands around your keys, feeling pinpricks of pain shoot through your fingers, “I am not some desperate, whiny, attention needing bitch that you’ve made me out to be. I have never asked you to give me attention, never forced you to do things with me when you obviously would much rather be doing something else and never have I ever made you make the focus of your relationship about me”

In the past, you had learned to ride the waves, to be quiet and let them scream and yell because humans were humans and emotions were hard to control. Yelling back only made things worse, their anger taking the reins and leaving behind rationality. A survival tip about getting caught in a riptide off of reddit had been applied to different aspects of your life- after all, why fight against the waves and make it worse for yourself when you could swim with it and wait calmly for help?

You knew better than to fight fire with fire. You knew better than to stoop down to his level and hurl insults at him the same way he did with you, just because you were hurting but it didn’t matter. In that one moment you had decided to argue back, you had lost all logic.

The scowl on his face runs as deeper than it has ever been at your words. When you were younger, this was the face that had made you cry into your mother’s shirt and onto your pillow, the face that made you too nervous to go anywhere near him and had made you paralyzed with fear.

That face still scares you, terrifies you even but your pride refuses to back down.

“I didn’t do anything at all but be your friend. I respected her boundaries and your relationship. Matsun even told you I purposely kept away from you because I wanted your relationship to last. Don’t you dare blame any of your shit on me. I did the right thing, I did what I had to do, even if it meant losing you as a friend”

The way he looks at you reminds you of a documentary you had once seen with Oikawa about mermaids, their dead eyes that held a vicious glint in them never leaving your memory.

“Am I really just your friend?” He asks you and he finally stands up from where he was leaning on the desk. “Are you sure you’re not just lying to yourself?”

Iwaizumi may be leaning on the shorter side of the volleyball team but he is still taller than average and you are painfully aware of it when he stretches to his full height and towers over you but you refuse to submit, crossing your arms and staring straight into his eyes, even if you have to slightly crane your neck to do so.

“If you liked me, you should have said something instead of hiding it like a coward”

The words slap you in the face rendering you speechless. If it’s even more possible, your face seems to get even hotter.

‘“Who says I wasn’t going to?” You shoot back but you don’t sound as intimidating as you want to, voice tapering off and a fresh wave of tears spill out of your eyes and onto your cheeks. “For all you know, I was going to confess to you the same week Ryuoko did. I just never got the chance to”

The memory of Ryuoko holding Iwaizumi, your Iwaizumi’s hand is burned into the back of your eyelids, along with every hickey, every kiss and every hug and you abhor it.

Your voice hitches in your throat and you’re very aware of the ache in your legs from standing so stiffly. You can’t help the small sob that comes out your throat and like a dam breaking, it’s all coming out and you hastily cover your face with your arms and turn away.

Your voice is muffled as you cry into your jacket sleeves, “It already fucking sucks seeing you with her all the time and every moment I wasn’t talking to you or texting you, I had to remind myself that it was over and if I really liked you, I should be happy you’re happy”

You cough, feeling your snot beginning to run and inwardly you tell yourself how gross this all is.

“It already hurt seeing you do all the things that I wanted to do with you with somebody else but you telling me I’m the cause of your relationship going south when every single moment of the day, I was doing my best to respect your relationship is even worse”

Turning back to face him, even with your messed up hair and snotty nose, you pray to any deity in heavens to give you enough strength to say your last few words properly.

“suck my fucking dick, Iwaizumi Hajime”

The door to the classroom sounds much louder than you think, the sound bouncing off the empty hallway walls the same way it does in your head when you slam it close and leave him standing alone in the classroom.

You bite down into your hand, blindly making your way into the restroom and when you catch a glimpse of reflection, you draw out blood from pressing your teeth into your hand just a little too hard.

It takes a few minutes for you to calm down, small buzzes coming from your phone as Oikawa texted you, reminding you they were still waiting.

The eyes that stare back at you in the mirror are swollen and bloodshot and you already know there’s no way you’ll be able to hide it from the sharp eyes of your friends. You draw an x on your throat and two more on your eyelids, taking a deep breath to calm down your shaking body.

“Don’t” you tell yourself, gripping the porcelain countertop for stability, “Don’t”

When you finally find yourself at the landing of the stairs, standing before the exit after a few shaky moments. You can see Oikawa hugging your bag to his chest as he leans against a pillar, Hanamaki still lying on the step where you had left him and Matsukawa in your seat.

With a deep breath and a plastered smile on your face, you open the door and wave your keys in the air, the jangling of the keys adding on to your headache.

“I found it!”

Oikawa already sees your shaky hand that’s stuffed in your pocket and wet jacket sleeves, strong arms reaching out to hold you and when you feel the hot tears pricking the corner of your eyes, you screw them shut to ward them away.

He holds you tight against his chest where you can hear the steady thrum of his heartbeat while you fist his shirt in your hands.

Matsukawa silently hands you a tissue, shoving it into your clenched fist and Oikawa holds you impossibly closer to him when he feels your body shake with every hiccup and muffled sob from your throat.

You ask them if your golf ball sized tears that were somehow produced from your body were just as large as they felt and Hanamaki wipes them away with his thumb and nods in a sore attempt to make you laugh again.

Hanamaki says the day you cry and yell at the same time is the day the world ends and he’s right. The day you cried and yelled at Iwaizumi leaves a big tear in the fabric of your friendship, one that you wished didn’t happen the same day you had to wake up early to take your entrance exam

#iwaizumi scenarios #iwaizumi fanfic #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi hq #hq x reader #hq fanfic #hq #hq x y/n #hq x you #haikyuu imagines #iwaizumi haijime x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #iwaizumi hajime x you #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime imagine

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captainsimagines · 3 years ago

Text

To Topple A Giant || Chapter Seven

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader || Avengers x Reader

Part 7 of 10 ~ Mini-Series

Warnings in this Chapter: abusive parental relationship; strong language; canon-level violence (explosions); mentions of alcohol poisoning; mention of Infinity War/Endgame deaths; perceived domestic partner abuse (no such thing actually happens!); concussions and minor injuries; mentions of arranged marriages; mentions of drug smuggling and human smuggling; lying; ANGST!

Word Count: 14,100+

A/N: So close to the finish line...

Spain, 2024, 5:07 pm.

“Get the damn ice cream, Peter. I’m not holding you back.”

The kid sped down the sidewalk as fast as his feet would let him, skips in his steps and ignoring the chastising yells from Bucky.

“You’re letting him have sugar?” Bucky whines, sluggish in his own steps. The Spanish summer sun was blaring, burning your forehead and building the same cold craving in your throat. It was just the three of you, carefree but melting, happy but annoyed with the constant proximity of each other. The villa (if you could call it that, it was more of a cottage) was listed as having three rooms - not the two you were stuck with. Bucky was at the last inch of self-control, begging you to switch with him - if only for one night - because ‘the kid fuckin’ talks in his sleep, doll! One more night and I might smother him.’

It was Bucky’s idea to take a little vacation. A year after the blip and only a few months after Peter’s world was turned upside down, a vacation seemed like the best choice. Preferably somewhere that was quiet and somewhat rural - somewhere you guys won’t be easily recognized.

So the three of you packed and flew across the pond. In all honesty, you hadn’t even told the rest of the team where you were going besides Wanda. One day you were greeting them in the common room and preparing lunch, the other you were throwing your suitcase in one of the two vacant rooms in this little Spanish cottage. The three of you were truly off the map in terms of late notice.

“Let the kid live. He’s having a mid-life crisis at eighteen.”

“I’ve had more mid-life crisis’s than his age combined. He’s not special.” The pointed look on your face had Bucky sighing in small defeat. “Okay, okay.”

These past two weeks in shared solitude, even if this trip was supposed to be relaxing, was beginning to melt into a tiresome routine. Well, just nights. The days were mild at best. And to make matters worse, you and Bucky had been dodging the team’s calls, messages that you left for voicemail. Bucky had clicked ‘end call’ more times than he could count and his excuse was always, ‘ the kid doesn’t want to leave, doll.’ Even annoyed with Peter, Bucky wanted only the best.

It was only a matter of time until your phones were tracked and you were forced to come home. Everyone probably knew where you were anyway - you weren’t exactly hiding. But since you already got a good two weeks in, you figured they had taken some sympathy.

“Think we can get him to visit a museum today or something?”

Bucky shrugged, lining up at the coffee stand near the ice cream cart. “Saw him checking out banana bread recipes last night. Seems more like a baking day.”

You could go for some banana bread. Ordering two iced coffees and making more miscellaneous small talk while waiting for Peter to order, you studied the streets of Spain. The country had suffered greatly when, cruelly, more than half their population disappeared. Left in proper ruins, no one believed it would ever recover. But then there was an election, a change in the structural government, and it just… did. They rebuilt themselves better than any country had, in your opinion.

It was a rather calm day with minimal people out and about. It was exactly what you guys deserved after every mission - in your case, after a long month of PR recovery after that bar fight alongside Sam.

“You bake, Barnes?”

He smiled fully, “Any chance I get.”

“You guys want anything?” Peter yelled out, bouncing lightly on his heels as he waited. You waved him off. “You sure? It’s pretty cheap for summer prices!”

After rejecting Peter’s dozen ice cream questions and offers, the three of you decided the heat was a little too much to bear, even with sunscreen. Peter spoke most of the way. Something about that banana bread.

Bucky, being the baker, helped him choose the best recipe of the four Peter had bookmarked and soon the kitchen was only half dirty with eggs and mashed bananas.

“What do you mean a cup of baking soda, kid? Use your eyes,” Bucky yelled in second hand embarrassment. “I don’t think a cup of baking soda goes in anything.”

“Read right here, dude,” Peter poked at his tablet. “A cuuuu... okay. Okay, I see what I read wrong.”

“You two better be making me some good ass banana bread today. I don’t want to throw up!” You had opted to let the two men have their fun in the kitchen. You tried to bake, but you were more of a cook than anything else.

“You could be reading out the directions.”

“I could do a lot of things,” you respond with the emphasis on “could”.

The doorbell interrupted your no-so-real argument. Peter snickered, “You could get the door.”

With a displeased grunt and a straightened middle finger to the kid, you opened the door to find two people who were definitely not invited. Clint, with this magical and massive smile on his face and Steve, with his eyebrow cocked and arms crossed.

“Oh, would you look at that. Guests! Welcome to our humble abode!”

“Now, how and why?” Bucky groaned. But his actions contradict his words as he went to give Steve a hug, covered in flour and all.

“Hey, Clint,” you mumbled, purposely ignoring the super soldier side-eyeing you. “Care to tell us what you’re doing here?

Clint returned your warm smile, “See, Cap? They’re safe. Can we go now?”

Steve rolled his eyes, arms crossed over his chest in a rather demanding way. “We’re here to take them home, Clint.”

Bucky scoffs.

“Eh, you might be. But I’m here to soak up some of this Spanish sun.” A low grunt sounded in the back of Clint’s throat as he spoke. He was already making his way to pick at the mashed ingredients.

“You heard the man, pal,” Bucky slaps Steve’s shoulder, leaving him at the door as well. Awkwardly left alone, you blow a small raspberry and step aside to let Steve in. Bucky continues, “We’re here to soak up some sun. And I’m not done soakin’.”

With great protest, Steve maneuvers Bucky away from the kitchen and into the hallway beside the master bedroom. With both super soldiers out of the way, you finally go to help Peter with mixing. “Why did he come, really?”

Clint shrugs, arms deep inside your cabinets and collecting whatever desserts you had pre-packaged. “Honestly? I think he missed you guys.”

“All this drama because he misses Bucky? He could have just shown up declaring truce and had a nice little vacation,” you mumbled, glaring at Steve from behind.

“Think he felt like he needed an excuse to even show up. But they really are asking for you guys back home. Threatened to arrest your ass.”

“Lucky me.”

You could make out snippets of their tiny argument up ahead.

‘You could have called.’

‘You haven’t been answering the phone, Buck.’

‘I’ve been relaxing.’

A heavy sigh.

‘I just thought we told each other everything.’

‘Believe it or not, Steve… but I’ve got more friends now. Isn’t that what you wanted? I’m not trying to ignore you, I - I just needed to help another friend out this time.’

Peter, with great care, washes his hands and makes sure there aren't any random mashes of banana on his clothing before he side-steps you and Clint to interrupt the very ‘private’ conversation between the super soldiers. “Hey, Mr. Steve- Cap, hey.”

Steve immediately lets his hard gaze falter. “Hey, kid. You doin’ good?”

Peter nods in response.

“He’s doing great! Much needed vacation that still isn’t over.”

“Buck.”

Inserting yourself may not have been the best option. “Give it up, Rogers. We’re on vacation. And until the kid says he’s ready to go home, we go home.”

Peter fumbles, “Oh, please don’t put me on the spot like that. I’m not good with confrontation.”

Bucky quickly answers before Steve can, “It’s not confrontation, Peter. We love being out here and if it’s helping your mental health, we’re not going to take that away from you.”

Steve blinks and his expression looks like one of hurt. “You think I wanna do that? The literal president has been asking for your location. You’re not allowed to leave the country.”

You shrug, “Well, no one told me that.”

“Buck, you were just granted immunity three months ago. And you go and drop off the face of the earth?”

“I’m literally in Spain.”

Steve blinks again. He really can’t believe he’s got to deal with two people with similar personalities. “Your point?”

“On Earth…?”

Clint decides to make his presence known. He has even inserted the poured batter into the glass tray for you guys. “Why don’t we just stay with ‘em, Cap? God knows you need a vacation, too.”

“We have two rooms. You’d be bunking on the floor,” you say, pointing to random areas on the floor.

Clint waves his hand in the air, “Not the worst place I’ve slept in.”

“I’m being hounded day and night to bring you three home.” Steve looks about ready to burst into tears of frustration.

“Turn off your phone?”

Steve whips his head and stomps to close the few feet of distance between the two of you. “You really think it’s that easy? You really think I wasn’t worried when my two best friends just disappeared one night and didn’t tell me?”

Two.

Best.

Friends.

Before you could even comment, Bucky puts on the dramatics. “We ran away together, Stevie. We meant to tell you.”

Steve takes a moment, just staring at the ceiling and piecing together his thoughts. “Joke all you want, Buck. I’m bringing you home.”

“Ste-”

“No!” He’s stomping back to the front door now. “I’ve had enough! I can’t stand not knowing where you guys are all day when bad things keep happening in this world. Just… just come home.”

All is quiet besides the quiet munching of Clint and his rogue cookie. Steve’s face did this thing when he was at war with himself, anxiety crawling up his arms or panic weighing his empty stomach down. His face drained color and that perfect renaissance oil lost its blush, blended paint that turned a murky gray. A masterpiece lost in storage.

“I can take the couch,” you whisper, arms erupting in goosebumps. “You guys can stay the night and we’ll go home tomorrow, okay? Or somewhere pre-approved, I guess.”

Bucky didn’t argue. Neither did Peter.

Steve's imaginary painter adds the softest pink back to Steve’s cheeks as you compile a mess of blankets and pillows for him.

Present Day, 2025, 7:15 am

There’s a warmth near you as you begin to lazily shuffle against the sheets, heavy on your chest but comfortable all in all.

There are no worries, no sudden bursts of Avenger business, no fights needing to be fought. Simply Steve warm against you with sunlight draping over his bare and freckled shoulders.

The serum enhanced for the sole purpose of strength and survival. And sure, it healed the body quicker than the average human body could naturally, but the one thing it couldn’t do was strip personality.

Steve had freckles splattered along his broad shoulders and down to in between his shoulder blades, light in color and all similar in size. Something a lot of people hated about themselves and tried to cover up while others tried to mimic. The serum was supposed to heal damaged skin, sunburnt areas, birthmarks, and even moles - at least, that’s what the official 1943 report had claimed.

But over the years, Steve had continued to age and grow into his new body. And while he couldn’t get dangerously sick anymore, anything unknown could still occur. No one had the same serum as Steve and last Tony had heard, Peggy had spilled the last remnants of Steve’s original DNA (blood they took before the procedure) in the Hudson. Bucky seemed to be experiencing the same natural changes as well.

It had been proven that neither Steve nor Bucky could carry or transmit diseases, experience abnormal cell production, nor could they develop a lifelong ailment without severe reason.

So imagine everyone’s surprise when Clint called one morning while deep in a routine mission (somewhere in Africa, you really don’t remember) to relay the news that, ‘you guys aren’t gonna fucking believe this - yeah Rogers, I’m telling them the hilarious news right now - Steve’s appendix just up and exploded last night - hey! He just stole - hold on. Give me back my hearing aid, you abelist fuck!’.

Steve had stretch marks on his back from the procedure, his elbow still hurt from time to time after he had snapped it a year ago, and the white scar above his right hip reminded him that even super soldiers are not exempt from the wonders of the appendix.

His breathing was slow and his eyelids flickered. Seemed he was enjoying his first deep sleep in a while. You craned your neck to try and read the cable box across the room, slightly making out a seven in the front before you gave up. You were due for your annual eye appointment, anyway.

Steve did have perfect eyesight though, so damn him.

You shrugged the sheets from your arms. He was on his stomach, cheek planted on your chest and right foot dangling off the side of the bed. His left arm was draped over your middle and his right was tucked inside a pillowcase. His hair draped over his forehead and some of it was still tucked behind his ears.

Careful to not wake him, you gently traced the ridge of his nose with your index finger, resting it on the tip that always turned bright pink regardless of mood. Once at the end, you went back up to trace it again.

“Beak,” you whispered more to yourself, and you bit your lip to suppress the overwhelming urge to giggle.

Steve was here, next to and near you, and he was so warm.

You could have stayed in bed for hours, sleeping and cuddling and fucking, and you would bet your left kidney that Steve wanted that too. It was impossible to question it, it had to be, because Steve was too genuine. You had met hundreds of men in your life: some the literal devil, some cowards, some reserved, and rarely, some genuine at heart. Steve fit some category that didn’t even exist.

You wanted to love him and hate him. You wanted to make love and fuck him. You wanted to kiss him and annoy him. He checked a box that didn’t exist but that you would just have to reserve for him. The annoying little shit who could lift Thor’s hammer.

The door almost ripped off its hinges by the brute force of someone’s leg. You didn’t even fully register being crushed by Steve until his elbow stabbed you right in the gut.

“Rogers!” you groaned in pain and half trying to reach for your pistol on the bedside table.

There was a collective gasp of surprise (and maybe terror) from the people that just broke down your door. After yesterday’s unplanned run-in with Ramirez, no doubt this was called-for.

“Oh, hell…” Sam grumbled, lowering his gun the second he realized two of his friends were sharing one bed. “Lemme guess, the other bed’s mattress was too firm but this one’s just right.”

Bucky stood behind him, a knowing smirk plastered on his smug face. He looked between you and Steve, ignoring the way Scott was practically pulling his shoulder down in pure fits of laughter. Didn’t take much for Scott to tip himself over and almost drag Bucky down with him.

“Couldn’t you knock?” Steve nearly yelled, body still trying to shield yours even though you were fully dressed. You were struggling to push him away in pure embarrassment, but he seemed intent with this form of protection.

“You weren’t answering your phone! We changed our check-in times to seven instead of eight, remember?”

Steve, ever the gentleman, brought the sheets up higher for you and finally lifted himself out of bed.

And Bucky, ever the gentleman who has been spending way too much time with Clint, nodded his head toward you. “You two fuck?”

Mouth dropping in humiliation, you pulled the sheets up over your head and screamed into the temporary cover. Steve sputtered over whatever explanation he was thinking of pulling out of his ass.

“You two fucked,” Bucky smugly confirmed.

Steve pulled on the nearest shirt and went to kick Scott, who was ‘criss-cross apple-sauced’ on the floor and laughing way too loudly. “Is it really any of your business?”

“Man, that’s an answer!” Sam was about to fall into the same fit as Scott.

Annoyed, and fueled by that annoyance, you ripped the sheets off and marched for the bathroom. “You really want to know, you nosy little fucks? We did fuck and he made me come three times. Ask him how, I’m sure he’ll teach you a thing or two, no matter how embarrassed he may seem right now.”

You left him alone. You literally just exposed him and you left him alone with the wolves.

All was quiet until Sam blew a small raspberry. “Three times?”

Bucky didn’t need to speak to show he was about to tease the hell out of you. He simply sipped his coffee until he emptied it, and then refilled it. You couldn’t even finish a single mug yet because you were waiting to break the tension.

Looking around the hotel bar because he still valued your privacy, Bucky made sure to keep his voice low. “Three times?”

Half wanting to slap the smirk off his face and the other half wanting to announce Steve’s naughty accomplishment, you settled for pouring more coffee into your mug.

“Don’t you dare hold what I said against me, I literally had just woken up.”

“Mm, yeah. I remember how you literally moaned Thor’s name when you were startled awake from a nap in the living room.”

“Bucky!” you yelled, turning your shoulders inwards when you received a few odd looks from other early risers. Well, some were early risers. The person closest to the door was an agent, as was the other eating breakfast at the bar. “You promised you would never mention that again!”

He shook his head with amusement, “I can’t believe you swore me to secrecy when Loki basically told everyone.”

“He-!” Choking on your own spit, you slid lower into your booth. “That mischievous, conniving, son of a bitch.”

“In all honesty, I think that was his way of flirting with you.”

“Telling everyone I had a wet dream about his brother?”

“Oh, you wouldn’t be the first.”

You smirked, “Oh, trust me. I know.”

Bucky squinted, guilty in his spoken words. “All I’m saying is, it’s nice that you didn’t just write Steve off with us, as if nothing happened.”

It made your heart swell that even in a moment with you, Bucky would still always protect Steve.

“I would never. We actually talked last night and he really apologized.”

“Really?” His eyes were hopeful.

“He did. And as cliche as it sounds, one thing led to another.”

You realized your earlier words were contradictory when Bucky sighed sadly, “This better not have been a one time thing. I’ll strangle you both.”

You scoffed and finally took a piece of that blueberry muffin on your plate. “Screw you, Barnes. It’s Steve we’re talking about. I’d give him the world if I could.”

That made Bucky blush. “God, I’m stupidly happy for him. I always said he’d need to find a dame who had as big of a mouth as he does.”

Rolling your eyes, you offered him some of that muffin. He gladly broke off a piece. “Don’t go marrying us off just yet.”

“Doll, he almost imploded when we discovered you slept together. Teasing him about proposing might just kill him.”

You laughed at that. Although Steve had admitted he regretted the time you lost, there wasn’t any chance he would push you any further. He was probably comfortable with taking things slow, no matter the history. You had that in common.

“Seems we’re all just gonna have to make sure we don’t cause his demise.”

Smiling as he chewed, Bucky played with your feet under the table. Safe moments like these always occurred before a mission, no matter how simple or heavy they were. And like people love to say, you never fought with each other before. Just in case.

Going to bed angry was another thing entirely. That, the whole team was proficient in.

“You ready for tonight?”

Yesterday had definitely turned you against the very concept of family reunions, what with the small ache between your shoulders. You were angry with Seda, with Ernesto, disappointed with Ramirez, and neutral toward your sister.

God, your sister. This would be the first time since you left Mexico for school and SHIELD that you would be seeing her, as well as your other siblings. Jackeline was perhaps the only sibling you had some real memories with. Everyone else was already deep in the business or far away from the chaos. The team only knew of two other siblings who rsvp’d. The others: radio silence.

“Part of me just wants a normal family wedding. I’m kinda hoping we can just end it all tonight.”

“Be careful what you wish for,” Bucky chuckled, finishing off your muffin for you. “You’ll get some closure soon enough.”

There was no such thing as closure. Just less of a constant sting.

“Bucky,” you spoke seriously now. “My father made Steve sign something yesterday.”

“He told us at the debrief yesterday.”

“When did you have a debrief?”

Bucky scooted in his booth, quickly explaining. “Uh well, it wasn’t so much of a debrief as it was a simple overview. Just a heads up.”

You tilted your head, somewhat unconvinced. “Uh-huh… but we could void it, right? He had a fucking notary there and everything.”

“We can declare it void, yeah Y/N,” he grabbed your hand over the table. “He won’t get tangled in this.”

With a heavy sigh, you gripped Bucky’s hand tighter. “I’m really glad you guys are gonna help us.”

He returned your smile. “Anything for family.”

Family.

After all these years of self-hatred and despising your own blood, you blinded yourself of the simple truth that you already had a real family. Whether you were accepted after Sokovia, or after you helped Steve escape with Bucky, or after those long five years, you were accepted. And you accepted them right back.

The briefing goes as expected. Didn’t seem like anyone was going to live down the now obvious fact that you and Steve had slept together after years of unnoticed pining. You simply took the teasing in stride, better than Steve even, who stuffed his face full of chips in embarrassment.

The plan was simple but ever-evolving. The three of them will hang back: Bucky at the hotel, Scott and Sam at the nearby base with Torres. The base was fifteen minutes from the estate, hidden behind those same pine trees but the perfect cover - it was a nearby diner. Steve will still take the shield, FRIDAY was installed on your personal phones, and any weapons you attached to your person were specifically made to deter metal detectors. Once in, it was mingle, mingle, mingle.

There were going to be a thousand questions to answer: What in the world is Captain America doing here? Is he here to cause trouble? Are you two seriously dating? So, Captain America being one of us means holding Thor’s hammer was a myth, aye?

Then you would move on to the more important guests. Jackeline’s greeting would be more of a reunion. But flying under and over the radar had to walk the same line - you needed to mix in with the crowd and make sure they see you participating, but then escape for a little while to continue the mission.

Once in, the task was to electronically and physically retrieve everything Scott didn’t have time to yesterday, plus the new information Ernesto got for today and tomorrow. His latest emails, list of contacts, checks, birth certificates, video evidence.

“Do we all know our duties?”

You wanted to wrap up Steve’s commanding voice and keep it a special secret, a secret that was yours and the team’s to share.

“We got it, Cap. For the tenth time this week - you two okay?”

Sam was rewarded with a slanted smile. “Everytime you ask me that, I’ll lie.”

He nods, “At least you admit it. You’re not alone in this.”

“For years,” you continued, “It’s been that way. I guess I’m both ready for it to end and not. I want them behind bars. I don’t want the repercussions.”

“Makes sense,” Bucky agrees. “At least part of the fight will be over.”

Beside you, Steve clenches his jaw. “We’re always fighting.”

Bucky grins at him, “Yeah.” There’s a sparkle in his eye as he leans forward to squeeze Steve’s thigh. “At least it’s not with each other anymore.”

They weren’t lying when they said vibranium was lightweight. Felt different from nano-tech and was an obvious change from your regular body suit. You felt protected and stylish. Good, because even though you weren’t obligated to impress those vultures, there were still a few cousins and extended family members you wanted compliments from. And?

The black turtleneck was warmer than you expected and didn’t strangle you. You were a bundle of velvet bliss right now. The cuffs were a golden brown, completely made from vibranium. Modeling in the mirror, you whispered a few ‘pew-pew’s as you blocked pretend bullets. C’mon, golden bracelets? You were basically Wonder Woman.

The tights were your own, thin and black and you could still see there were faint bruises on your knees from training. Once all that was situated, you pulled on the long skirt and tucked in the bottom of your shirt, glad the way the high-waisted design sucked everything in. The skirt was the same golden brown as the cuffs, shorter in the front and wavy as it draped down the back, barely reaching your ankles. You tied the skirt’s belt in a tight bow and pulled on the black boots Shuri had also sent you. The heel was thick and short, and the boot was pretty tight around the top of your ankle.

Time was ticking on that well-deserved goody basket you were meaning to send to the royal siblings.

Hoop earrings, three rings dressing your left hand, a simple golden necklace - now you need to do your hair and make-up.

Steve was just patiently waiting for his turn in the bathroom, bless his heart.

“Scott said the files are in his personal belongings. We suspect he’s planning to smuggle over fifty people tomorrow. Their records should be hidden away in those belongings, too.”

Sam always kept a leveled head in dire situations like these. He was rational and helpful, always waited until the job was done and everyone was safe before he had a drink or a cry. It was safest, perhaps the most fair thing the Avengers could do for the public after destroying half the cities they fought in. The media didn’t need to know about the late-night fights, alcohol poisoning, or frequent therapy sessions. Your coping methods were all different - Steve has no doubt Sam will immediately pack an overnight bag and Bucky to visit his sister and nephews once the wedding concluded.

Steve? Well, Steve was surprisingly calm, all things considered.

“You get any hits yet? Anything from Ramirez that could help us find those people sooner?”

Sam sighs sadly, shaking his head. “It’s looking like we’re heading into a full-on fight.”

That’s not what Steve wanted to hear. A ‘full-on’ fight almost always had accidents, misfires, innocent casualties, and a few cuts and scrapes to add to his own personal collection.

“Sam,” Steve puts down the files in his hand and shuts off his monitor to signal he’s done researching for the night. “I really don’t know how to thank you.”

“You know,” Sam smiles at him, “I’m gettin’ real tired hearin’ you say that.”

Steve huffs out a laugh. Sam gently exhales - Steve can feel it.

“You two really are the same.” Sam points at Steve and to the bathroom door. “Always apologizing for shit you can’t control.”

Steve looks down to his feet, a blush in his pale cheeks. After failing to clip his cufflinks on his own, he holds his arms out to Sam who happily clips them for him.

“Is it real?”

Steve pauses. He doesn’t really need to think about it because he knows. He’s known for a while even if he was on autopilot. The pause only serves to help him catch his breath from the happy prickle that crawls up his spine. “As real as second chances go.”

Sam laughs and claps his shoulder, “I get it. We seem to get a hell of a lotta those.”

Now that the mission was truly kicking into gear, fucking full speed ahead, Steve had no other choice but to pull shreds of Captain America from that metaphorical attic of his. Took everything in him to revert back, never fully, and each time would be different from the last. Sometimes it was mentally draining being responsible for a whole team and creating the plans, other times he regretfully felt like a colonizer, an intruder who followed orders from the top and was forced to execute them. This time around, he was stepping into uncharted territory, but still familiar, and he had a million roles to mime.

“Steeeve.”

His smile was instant and he gravitated to your voice. “Hmm?”

“So, I have an idea for a hairstyle,” you reply, throwing open the bathroom door with a brush in one hand and the other holding the top layers of your hair up. “I got enough hair for it.”

“Tell me about it. It gets in the way of everything.”

“Haha.” You rolled your eyes, still trying to shovel more hair higher. “I curled it, so all I gotta do is tug this upper half up into a ponytail while the rest stays down. But can you help? My shoulders still hurt and I haven’t taken my advil yet.”

Steve shuffles back into the room to grab you two pills before he replaces his hands with yours. “So, just lift it up?”

You hum confirmation, watching Steve in the mirror as he pulled your thick curls higher, snapped the hair tie between his teeth, and tied it all. He pulled the strands outward so the high curls still fell around your face. The hairstyle would have been easier with extensions (for a much fuller look) but if you had to throw your body around these next two days, you’d rather save yourself the embarrassment of having them pulled off.

“Thank you,” you blush. These moments were so intimate, so sweet, just you and Steve. “You need any help?”

Steve looks down at himself. He had already tied his own tie. He could style his own hair and comb his beard. “I think I’m good. Forgot to pack cologne, though.”

“I’ve got some perfume in my suitcase. There should be one in there that isn’t too flowery.”

Steve rolls his eyes and turns to leave. “Not really a problem, doll.”

Pulling on his suit jacket and reaching for your suitcase to set it on the bed, he miscalculated the balance he was so obviously lacking. Instead of toppling head first himself, he fumbles your suitcase and spills its contents on your bed. He stills for a second, looking to the closed bathroom door to see if you popped your head through to ask what the hell that sound was. But it remained closed, and Steve silently groaned because of his clumsiness.

He tries his best to roll the clothing items back in, cursing whenever he would accidentally squeeze a perfume bottle you had hidden in there. He counted three. The one he picks smells like roses.

Amongst the ruins he finds your passport, multiple IDs, and two pairs of sunglasses. He chuckles to himself and thinks, we’ve been here for four days and she hasn’t worn these once.

A torn piece of paper stood out from the pile, folded neatly in its own envelope but still damaged.

CLINT

Curious, Steve opens the envelope, wholeheartedly expecting to find the written contents from the archer himself, but pauses when he reads the simple sentence, in your handwriting.

‘After careful deliberation, I have come to the conclusion that I want you to have all my video games.’

If Steve didn’t know any better, and judging by the multiple other letters peeking through the torn tape from the corner of your suitcase, it sounded like a goodbye letter.

“What’s taking so long?”

Startled, Steve shoves the letter under the pile of clothes. “Uh, my clumsy ass spilled your clothes everywhere so I’m being good and fixing everything.”

“...annoying.”

Still, you stayed inside the bathroom.

He glanced back just to make sure. And he knew he shouldn’t be snooping, the guilt was already eating away at him, but he now noticed the lump under the torn tape and another envelope poking through.

They were all signed for different people. Bucky, Wanda, Peter, Rhodey -

The devil on his shoulder drowned the cries of the angel.

Opening his, he prays for his quick reading skills to aid him before you realized what he was doing.

Steve,

Believe when I say that I thought I would put a bullet in my father before he could. Whoops…

I don’t really know why I’m writing these letters besides the thrill of morbidity for my untimely death or because I’m an amateur writer on the side. I never know what to say to you, anyway. Whether it’s in person or on paper. I’ve got a hundred drawn-up speeches in my head I almost say to you. But they don’t come out when I want them to and it seems a bit much to write out the words to several imaginary crumpled pieces of paper.

This will have to do.

Steve, I know for a fact, deep in whatever soul I have left, that you are a good man.

When the world fell apart, I held on to you. I don’t know why. Natasha bugged me about it, sent me those signature smirks of hers whenever we did anything remotely weird. She believed something was going on between us and I would get so angry with her because it was like she saw something I couldn’t. And I wanted to see it. Wrap it up for myself and live in the softness.

You slept by my side when I would ask, you let me look through your private sketchbook to help ease my mind, and you would jump at every chance to shield me from danger. Even when you know I can take care of myself. I don't know how many times I have to remind you.

I don’t understand why you shut me out after we brought our friends back. And at the time, it hurt like hell. I literally wanted to kill you and then myself. It made no sense, it still doesn’t. I won’t lie and say it still surprises me or that it no longer hurts. ‘Cause I’m numb to it now and the pain is more of a dull ache.

But I guess you had your reasons, no matter how hurtful, how ridiculous, no matter how stupid.

Fuck, why didn’t you get some of that life Tony had always wanted for you? The question eats me alive. Maybe you did move on, maybe you would miss us too much, I truly don’t know. When you confessed to wanting some form of that life when we rescued Wanda, it just confused me more.

Then my father basically declared war and you cut me out. I can’t help but think you stayed behind to help me finish this, what with that righteous streak of yours, but if it is the case, then I am so sorry.

You deserve to live, Steve.

Guess what I really want to close with is this: find that life you always wanted. Buy a boat, or a cabin in the secluded woods and become a lumberjack, travel, open your own art museum - hell, erase all traces of your identity and sell painted landscapes for a living.

In any form you find it, just try. You know I’m always rooting for you, and I’m always by your side. No matter how annoying and smart-mouthed you may be.

There’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be than here, there, and everywhere with you.

With as much love in me,

The swirl of your name leaves him disoriented, and slightly paralyzed. Steve licks the envelope closed.

Steve puts the very existence and contents of your letter to the back of his mind for the time being. He doesn’t have time to dwell on it, no time to dissect it word for word. He’ll focus on it later. He still doesn’t know what reaction he should be experiencing. The letter was unexpected, yes, but it’s the matter of you writing a goodbye letter - as if you weren’t going to make it out of here alive. And that about saws Steve in two.

Steve thinks the elevator comes too fast and wonders what he could do to stop time. The mics on your neck generate enough noise for you to hear the static on the other end. No one is currently online, and Steve cherishes the little moments he’s getting before having to transition into ‘Captain America’ mode.

There wasn’t much time today to truly bask in the afterglow. The moment the elevator opens Steve literally drags you inside and captures your lips in a rather chaste kiss. It surprises you momentarily but you’re responding, and it’s fluid and familiar. The kiss is brief, but it feels as if your years mold into this single act, and Steve’s smiling wider than he has today when the first thing you say as you part is that maybe you chose the wrong shade of lipstick because it looks too damn dark on his lips.

The elevator reaches the ground floor and he looks over at you one last time in the privacy you’re afforded. He’s got that good ache in his chest again and it’s both calming and a little bittersweet, because staring at you is like staring at the sun - it hurts to look at for a long time but oh, so tempting.

The lawn was separated into two halves with only one fully decorated and the other still under a tarp, hidden because it was mid-construction and to not spoil the surprise. Over to the side, just left of the large lake, there was an extra tarp the workers were manning in case the clouds in the sky decided to cry.

Jackeline had chosen violet as her main color scheme, with golden hues stitched alongside. The flowers, soft lights, marble floor, and desserts were all violet; the curtains and tarps, plates and glasses, flowers on the wall, and Jackeline’s rehearsal dress were all gold. Ernesto must have spent over a million dollars in the decorations alone.

Everyone donned their best designers and since only family was in attendance today, the little amount of people were easily outdone one right after the other. In total, there were fifteen guests, and that included you and Steve: Ernesto, Seda, the groom’s father, Jackeline’s mother, two of your half-brothers, three aunts (sister’s of Ernesto), two cousins, the maid of honor, and Marcus White.

They have already fawned over Steve, some with a major guard up as expected, but as Ernesto explains the specifics, everyone becomes more pleased than weary. ‘It was just too good to be true that the Avengers were all good’, someone announces. Steve grips your hand just a little tighter.

The mere absence of Ramirez was enough of an answer: he really was going to be eliminated.

Across from your private corner, cheers and claps sound as the happy couple finally emerges. Even your father leaves mid-conversation to go greet her.

She’s a fifties masterpiece. Her dark hair cascades in uneven but gentle layers, framing her face and she’s both glossy and matte. Her skin is darker and her eyebrows are fuller, widow’ peak and strong jaw, thin neck and perfectly rounded shoulders. She has a painted blush on her high cheekbones, dark eyeshadow and a faint cat eye, and the reddest, fullest lips that are already spitting wit as she greets her more serious guests. Her voice is high but steady and she’s so obviously the center of attention, she’s the literal bride, but you bet she could take over the room even if she wasn’t. Her fiancé, surprisingly enough, trails behind her as if he too is in a trance, greeting the same guests and attempting to match her enthusiasm. She’s making herself known, and she’s succeeding.

It isn’t until she locks her sight on you that Steve finally mumbles a quiet ‘woah’ underneath a shaky breath and you can’t blame him, dear god you can’t, because seeing her for the first time in six years is eating away at you. She’s nineteen, young and sweet, and still trapped in the world you were planning to destroy.

Her first reaction is to run into your arms and hold you tightly, the force swinging you from side to side. Her giggles are contagious and you find yourself reacting similarly, grip tightening as she begins to ramble about how much she missed you and how proud she is that you have saved the world ten times over. The statement is overwhelming, but you find yourself nodding along in place of anything verbal.

Steve is patient as he witnesses this family reunion, standing at your side with respect and a tint of scarlet staining his cheeks. Finally, Jackeline turns to greet him and for a scary second, Steve sees Peggy.

“No way!” She keeps her voice low. “I could have sworn my bit-... uh, my bunch of tias were lying about you really being here.”

Steve shakes the fifties image from his head. The resemblance, even if Jackeline has more slanted eyes and a larger forehead, is uncanny. “Thank you so much for inviting us. The ride up was a bitch but we made the most of it.”

Jackeline stutters over her own laugh. “Oh.” She looks to you with a wide grin. “Oh, he’s a keeper.”

“Thought so myself,” you grin back. “You should hear him swear during a football game.”

“All men turn into animals when their teams don’t live up to expectations.”

Her accent is thicker than yours. Living in New York for over 10 years definitely helped smooth over some dialect and create your own voice. But Jackeline’s, considering she had never lived outside of Mexico, was thick and silky and resembled a place you no longer called home.

She pulls the man behind her forward, effectively interrupting and ending the conversation he was having with one of your cousins. “This is Julian. Julian, this is my one and only sister and her boyfriend!”

Julian, bless his heart, holds out a slightly shaking hand for you to shake. You do so, and try to convey calmness through it. When you watch his glance fall to Steve and feel his hand start to shake yours more rapidly, you can’t help but stifle a laugh.

“It’s an honor!” Julian finally says, voice deep and wracked with some nerves. He shakes Steve’s hand when he gets the chance. “Captain.”

“Please,” Jackeline rolls her eyes. “He’s just like us! You should be swooning over my sister, who is probably going to be the one to kill you if you ever hurt me.”

Julian blinks. His eyes go from Steve to you, contemplating his next move without wanting to seem rude. He nods in your direction. “I don’t doubt you would. Excuse me if I came off as rude. I’m just starstruck by this one here, is all.”

His accent matches Jackeline’s.

Steve waves his hand through the air. “You are not the first tonight, son.”

Sometimes you forget that Steve is an old man. Biologically, he’s in his mid-thirties. Ever changing and growing old as normal, but his soul is old. From a different time and out of it. The mere nickname he just gave Julian, no doubt because of his young age, leaves you averting your eyes and turning away to smile up at one of the many golden chandeliers.

“I really hope you enjoy tonight. The party may seem small right now, but trust me, half of Mexico will be dancing with us tomorrow night.” Jackeline bounces in place, hand intertwining with Julian’s, and she leans in to speak more clearly with you. “Meet me later? We have so much to catch up on.”

Agreeing, you watch the happy couple leave to converse with the few other guests.

Steve turns toward you, eyes squinted in amusement. “Is she really cheating on him with a man of the cloth?”

You can’t help the involuntary snort that leaves your nose. “The photos were watermarked, right? Time stamped? Maybe they’re old.”

Steve huffs a laugh and grabs two champagne glasses as the tray flies by him. “She’s got a way about her. Reminds me of a dame from this book I read a while back.”

Sipping your drink, you ponder. “What book?”

“The one where the dude gets shot at the end.”

“Oh, you mean every book from the 20th century?”

Steve laughs, “That twenties one!”

Mouth dropping, you push at his chest and turn to walk away. “You did not just compare her to Daisy from The Great Gatsby!”

Steve follows. “That’s the one! Honest! She has this way about her!”

It’s not long after a few dances and photographs that you’re all seated for the actual dinner. There are three long tables, two parallel to each other and the main one perpendicular. You don’t know if it’s a power move or whatever, but your name cards are placed on one of the parallel tables. But it doesn’t bother you much since you have a front view of Seda and your father.

Dinner is a six-course meal. Not that you assumed any different - Ernesto really went all out for his youngest child (that you know of). Your mics are picking up conversations left and right so you’re actually able to enjoy the meal. Salad, soup, a weird looking appetizer that’s actually quite delicious, the main course of either chicken/fish/or steak, and two desserts. All throughout, Steve is actually having the time of his life being fed so well.

“Answer me this,” Steve leans in to whisper in your ear. “Are those hearts or paper airplanes hanging from the ceiling?”

You smiled against the ridge of your champagne glass, “You mean those clay flowers?”

“Is that what they are?” He pauses for a long second, squinting.

“Are your eyes going bad?”

“Eyes don’t go bad.”

Your mouth falls open. “Your eyes are going bad!”

“Again,” Steve holds up a finger. “My eyes are just fine, not bad.”

Something else to add to that list you had made in the morning.

“This is fucking fantastic.”

Steve, still trying to casually squint, huffs. “Annoying...”

You bump his shoulder and lean in to whisper quietly. “Turns you on.”

Steve just blushes.

It’s like he forgets where he is for a second, what with the great food and surprisingly good conversation with one of your brothers beside him. Steve’s already built a much stronger rapport with the thirty-something year old man than you have. There’s a stab of guilt for a second, a need to duck and drown in shame, when you realize you can’t even remember his name.

Ernesto stands to announce toasts. His is brief and not all that fatherly, but it’s the longest you’ve heard him string some nice words together. Seda follows, brief as well, and includes a childhood anecdote about her. Jackeline’s mother is a young woman, somewhere between forty and fifty, and her toast is only a sentence long - ‘Solo quiero que estas contenta, mi amor.’ For the first time tonight, Bucky voices his thoughts over the mic with a quiet and sad sounding hum.

Ernesto lifts himself from his chair, swatting away his men who go to help him. He has the microphone again and he’s walking toward you, face neutral. You know better than to refuse in front of this big of a crowd. Steve squeezes your hand before you stand and he remains beaming up at you from his seat.

You’ve seen it in the movies - raise the glass, say some words, end it nicely. It’s what you do. But it feels surreal, almost unnerving when you don’t recognize the faces looking back at you.

“Here’s to you,” you lift your champagne glass, looking around at the happy yet solemn faces at the small table.

“You deserve all the happiness available to you. You are so lucky to have each other,” you finish the toast and drink your whole glass. There is no applause, just sad smiles in response. You’re not asking for much, you never had.

Tony and Pepper share a quick kiss, thanking everyone around the table quickly as the two cakes are being cut. Their wedding was limited, with only a few people in attendance. Whoever was left. Tony’s cabin could obviously accommodate more people, but he had only requested the gathering of those he could stomach to see. But when that turned out to only be Pepper and Happy, he was forced to open the doors to more.

So, you accepted your chocolate cake from Rhodey as he handed it to you. Shared some quick chit-chat with Steve and Natasha; greeted Thor as he made his first appearance in a while, hair now longer and baggy clothes hanging from his body, a tortured smile on his aging face; and sat through Happy’s own speech, enjoying his refreshing and joyful attitude.

But now you stood in front of the kitchen sink, staring at the hidden picture frame behind the mugs - a reminder of what was really missing from this special day.

You studied Peter’s awkward smile and demeanor, his expression youthful and frozen in time. He became foggy, silver clouds blotting his cheeks and his hair went white, and soon the sink sounded with a tiny ‘clunk!’ as you wept silently.

You felt a hand slide into your own, squeezing with care and understanding. You looked up to see Steve, his eyes watching your face. He gave you one more gentle squeeze, the same tortured smile as Thor’s on his beautiful face, and walked to his room to retire for the night.

Glass raised in the air, you swallow in hopes of not choking over any word because of your nerves.

“Here’s to you,” you start, already deciding this was going to be like pulling a band-aid. “May this world treat you kind, and that you are kind to each other, and that it’s all that matters.”

Steve forgets to drink. He can’t seem to shake the feeling of wanting to cry.

Everyone watches as Steve leads you onto the dance floor which is intimidating with its glittering violet light and marble that resembles polished glass. If these were the decorations for the rehearsal dinner, Steve can’t even begin to bet on how tomorrow’s going to look.

Steve holds you close, one arm wrapped around your waist and the other framing your spine. It’s like a tight hug. “Do you enjoy dancing?”

You step on his foot once again. “Shut up, Steve. Tell me your real thoughts.”

“Who, me?”

“Steve.”

“You suck at dancing.”

“There it is.”

It isn’t hard to sneak away once everyone piles onto the dance floor. Steve shares a few dances with your aunts before excusing himself to use the bathroom.

The mission itself goes rather smoothly. Infiltrating and collecting information was childsplay. Amateur. You’ve done it a thousand times and your father isn’t exactly a tech wizard. Neither is Seda.

You find the electronic bank records Scott couldn’t yesterday, as well as a detailed spreadsheet (more like a hitlist) dating ten years back. In the same file, this actually only slightly encrypted (slightly), are the names of high-level players involved. It’s color-coded, some names familiar because of their involvement with Hydra, and it’s only a matter of seconds before you notice that red means eliminated, black means still at large, and blue means ally.

There’s a lump in your throat as you scroll through and find Steve’s name, thankfully in blue. It’s expected, so you simply move on, until you find yours. And it’s in black.

It should terrify you, have you running for the hills and tucking your tail between your legs but you’re won’t because Steve’s name is blue.

That’s all that matters.

There’s still no concrete information about the shipment, nothing online or on a loose post-it note. It’s non-existent and that’s suspicious and you don’t know why you don’t voice that to Steve. He’s listening at the door and responding to Sam’s questions. You and Scott are the hackers of the group after all.

You scan through drawers and cabinets, snapping photos of things you can’t take just yet and filing the papers you can. Papers detailing contracts and miscellaneous connections: lawyers, doctors, politicians, police. Once that’s done, you shrink the evidence to the size of a fingernail with the help of Scott’s tech and hide it in your bra.

Surprisingly enough, the two of you are able to slip out of the office and the first couple living rooms undetected. Until Jackeline herself appears, pulling down her dress as she exits the bathroom. Steve, stunned by the presence of anyone, pulls you toward his chest with unfocused strength. You hiss loudly and naturally go to cup your injured elbow. It takes a moment for Steve to realize what he’s done and who he’s done it to.

Jackeline nearly stumbles over her heels out of pure clumsiness but her mouth parts as she notices you and the harsh sound you make. If she truly saw or heard anything, she’s keeping it to herself it seems.

“Ernesto wanted to see me before we called it a night,” Steve says, letting go of your arm and taking a step back. He doesn’t outright say he’s sorry; he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to. So he braves a smile, sends you a look, and excuses himself.

No conversation ever comes naturally - or, rather they take at least minimal effort from either party. You say the first thing you can think of and that’s to congratulate her again.

Your rambling sort of sounds like the toast you gave earlier, but Jackeline either doesn’t want to embarrass you or simply doesn’t notice. She waits for the pause in your voice before she finally speaks.

“Before I start, don’t hate me for this.”

“That’s not a good way to start a sente-” Your face is smacked to the side absurdly hard and you can feel the sting at the base of your neck. You look back at your sister with wide eyes.

“You couldn’t leave the world dead? He was finally dead!”

Baffled, you rub at your sore cheek. “Why am I the one getting the most blame for that? I followed a fucking raccoon around and I didn’t even snap my fingers!”

“Sorry,” she blinks, eyebrows scrunching as she thinks of the next thing to say. “Sorry, I just… it was that easy to kill him and then he just… wasn’t.”

“I don’t know if you noticed, but you were also dead.”

“I was.”

“And we brought back trillions.”

“I know.”

Never once did you wonder what your siblings might have thought. More than half of them were separated from this life, while a few remained and conquered their allowed sectors. Ernesto had never discussed which of his children would take over his seat. But when he was dusted and Seda assumed power, it was clear not one sibling wanted anything to do with it. Or they were just too scared to outright disobey Seda and his tyranny.

Jackeline stands tall, shoulders straight and chin held high. She didn’t seem to worry about the repercussions of her actions - she knows who you are and what you are capable of. The smack seemed deliberate but restrained.

“So?” It’s the only word you can muster up.

“Please don’t judge me.” Her confidence falters and her eyebrows push down even further. “I know you know.”

“You gotta spell it out because I know a lot of things.”

Sighing deeply, she grabs the hand you’re using to rub at your cheek. She grips it tightly as she speaks. “I love him. But he’s impossible to love now and I can’t do anything about it.”

“Oh, Jackeline…”

You could have contacted her. You were on social media - you could have followed her, maybe messaged her annually - hell, called her once in a while to simply check in. The ticket you got was always a temporary one: go to school and find a way to make the trade routes easier to travel. School finished, you found Fury, and you created an alternate identity and background plan to trick your family into doing just what they ordered. And during all that time, Jackeline was barely in her pre-teens, probably scared and alone and missing her only sister. This was just you throwing that smack out of proportion but there was truth in it all. Wasn’t there?

“Julian’s okay. I agreed to this arranged marriage. I’m sure I can grow to love him,” she shrugs, biting her lip as it begins to quiver.

Her eyes are no longer happy - perhaps that was the wrong word to use after she had just confided in you about the reality of her upcoming union. But they definitely seem more dull in comparison to the joyfulness she presented earlier tonight.

“Jackeline, you don’t have to-”

“No, I was gone those five years. He had to move on.” You drop your shoulders and lean forward to give her a hug. No matter how badly you wanted to wrap your hands around Ernesto’s neck, they had more use tenderly wrapped around your sister.

Relishing the feeling for only a moment longer, Jackeline is ignited once again. “Besides, I should be telling you that! I saw the way that… that fascist pulled you. If he’s hurting you, I’ll kill him.”

Your eyes must be bulging out of your head. “Oh.”

She looks at you as if you’re going to admit abuse and confide in her like she did you. “No, it’s okay. Steve’s perfect, he’s… wonderful.”

Jackeline shakes her head rapidly, “Don’t you lie to me. I know what I saw.”

“I’m not lying. But you gotta trust me. I’ll explain later-”

“Explain what?”

Seda breaks the conversation and you forget to curse inwardly. Instead, a mumbled ‘fuck’ is heard. It only serves to fuel the flame. Jackeline flashes a rehearsed smile, and she truly is your sister because for a sad moment she looks exactly like you.

“Explain why she never returned my calls to be my maid of honor! I swear, this one is always so busy she forgets I exist!”

“She is,” Seda agrees, grinning like he already knows what the original conversation was about. “Always busy.”

Jackeline keeps the same smile and is about to continue fanning the flames when Seda interrupts again. “Jackie, your father wanted me to speak with your sister alone for a moment. It has to do with tomorrow’s shipment.”

“Yes, of course. Don’t keep her for too long, okay? Tomorrow’s a late start but we all need our beauty sleep.” Jackeline leaves and fails to look over her shoulder to double check on you.

Seda steps closer, arms swinging casually like he’s pondering the possibilities of what he could do without Steve present. But instead of focusing solely on him, you listen to the soft sound of Bucky’s voice through the mic as he tells you that he’s listening in and he’s here.

“What did she say to you?”

“Is it really any of your business?”

He snaps immediately, gripping your cheeks in one hand so you can’t move your head. “When will you learn to keep your goddamn mouth shut around me?”

“You asked.” Smacking his hand away would have been frowned upon before, but not anymore. Free reign if need be. “Besides, when will you learn that that will never happen?”

“You can’t believe anything she tells you. Ernesto’s only two daughters are mistakes, both threats to his reign. Never submissive, always asking questions-”

You grunt almost comically, “Men and their irrational fears of women… What did I ever do to you?”

He pauses and you notice how his angry eyes always seem to water from his frustration. “You brought him back.”

“I also brought back trillions.”

“You know,” his face does something unpleasant. “Before Jackeline was dusted, she had been seeing that priest.”

“How could you possibly know-”

“He was so devastated by her loss. Found God, became a changed man.”

“Seda, what are you playing at?”

“She came back.” He lifts one finger. “He couldn’t resist.” He raises another. “Didn’t take long for Ernesto to find out.” The third one is the last, and he mimics a small explosion as he concludes. “But don’t worry, we took care of him.”

You never once believed the Devil was this angry, red demon with horns atop his head and a sharp tail, voice booming as he ruled the underworld with the weapons of pain and suffering. He didn’t possess or haunt random places. If anything, the Devil himself was simply a metaphor, a representation of the evil in a living world. It only made people comfortable to create an image, no matter how ridiculous.

Once you even thought the Devil was Hades, and he wasn’t all that bad when it truly came down to the root of all problems. He oversaw the underworld but he didn’t take life, he didn’t cause the pain, he simply watched and ruled. That maybe Hades was real considering Thor was, and he was just chilling in the underworld bored out of his mind.

But the evil the Devil represented was a constant in this world already, in your life from start to finish, and Seda’s eyes held something unspeakable. Dark brown eyes almost black, left cheek twitching with the urge to smile grotesquely, the tense nature of his broad shoulders. He was no massive man, a few inches taller than you, but he was a giant in a world in which Hades lacked and the Devil persisted.

“But Julian-”

Seda scoffs, “Julian was her rebound. Got mixed up in the business, with Ernesto - but I don’t doubt he loves Jackeline.”

You’re this close to breaking the man’s fingers. He doesn’t stop counting his supposed triumphs. “When were the pictures taken?”

“Don’t do that,” he laughs as he finally steps away from you. “Ask your real question.”

Your smile was involuntary. So was Seda’s. It was the one thing you had in common: smiling at things that weren’t funny. “Did you threaten him? Torture him? Kill him yet?”

“... Jackeline will never know.”

Your mouth parts slowly like you’re still digesting his words. “You unimaginable bastard.”

If you had to bet, you would have placed all your money on Ernesto being the giant to fear. He had hurt you in countless ways, used you and discarded what he didn’t like, put you in the line of fire for his own gain. He had taken pleasure in knowing you hurt, in knowing what you had lost and suffered. He mocked your sacrifice time and time again. And there was a sentence you had never uttered out loud for fear of what you might do, or what anyone hearing you might do, that Ernesto had said one chilly November night only a year after the world returned. It was a thought so suppressed you almost always forgot it had been real. ‘A shame the Widow did what she did - what an unbelievable asset wasted over something pointless.’

No one outside your circle could possibly understand. They didn’t have to - but to dismiss the main reason he was retaking his tainted throne... insanity.

But something in Seda’s voice moved even the most dormant areas in your soul. The giant was a man with nothing and everything to lose but with the power to choose which. Staring at him for too long prompted an uncomfortable sting across your waterline like his glare burned. Such a normal looking man with short dark hair and an aging face. He stared at you with a set look, one that told you he knew something you didn’t. Like he controlled giants even bigger than him. He wasn’t Hades, who restrained himself and hid in the shadows of a world he was forced to rule - he was the Devil’s metaphor, with red strains licking his tan skin and eyes sharp enough to puncture.

With a small tilt of his head and a strangled grin, he finally turns to leave. “Have a safe drive home.”

After saying a quick goodbye to Jackeline and securing the estate, you hurried to get to your car and leave. Ernesto had just sent you a quick nod of the head and reminded Steve he needed to see him again before the wedding started. All your leftover energy literally went into pulling open the passenger door.

Out of instinct now, you wait until the car is past the gates and a good mile from the hidden entrance before speaking freely.

“We get everything?”

The night is dark and you can barely see the outline of the trees. The sky is covered with gray clouds and there are no lampposts to provide light. It’s really just your headlights. “I think so. I think.”

Steve can sense the hesitancy in your answer. “What’s wrong?”

You shake with an exaggerated shiver, “Seda was being creepy… just more than usual.”

“What do you mean?” Steve was probably communicating and online with Sam during his conversation with Ernesto and completely missed the one you had with Seda.

“Fuckin’ didn’t think it could get weirder, but Jackeline mentioned how this was basically an arranged marriage and then Seda,” you stop suddenly. The uneasiness was creeping back.

“An arranged marriage? Fuck, what else is this mission going to throw at us?”

‘Captain?’

Steve’s hands accidentally swerve the steering wheel as response to the small fright. “... Was that your phone or mine?”

You fumbled through your mini purse for your phone. “Me. Hey? Friday?”

‘The one and only. I hope that didn’t frighten you because I really need your attention right about now.’

Steve chuckles, eyes straight ahead as he drives. “That doesn’t sound ominous at all.”

‘My readings are picking up something strange. The vehicle, even if I’m not able to virtually connect, seems to be stalling.’ Torres did curse you two before you left for renting a car made before 2013.

“What do you mean? It’s working just fine.”

You set your phone down on the dash to start looking around the interior of the car.

‘The pedal, yes Captain. But I’m afraid my readings are focused on the brakes.’

You bite your tongue and scrunch up your nose. What else could possibly happen tonight? “That’s always fun to hear, great. Greaaaat.”

“Friday, what are you picking up?” Steve’s voice is more stern and even if he’s not doing it on purpose, he’s trying to ignore your coping mechanism of joking during dire situations.

‘It seems that when they took the vehicle for parking, they attached something to the brake lines. Sort of like a trigger sensor. Do not slow down.’

“We’re stuck? We can’t stop?”

‘Everytime the Captain de-accelerates, the sensor heats up. That’s what my readings are.’

“Fuck,” you unclipped your seatbelt and turned your body toward Steve. “Fuck!”

“Friday, what do we do?” The least Steve could do is be the level-headed one here.

‘Exactly what you’re thinking, Captain. The shield’s in the trunk.’

“We can’t exactly get to it!” You don’t mean to scream at Friday. You’re sure she’s used to adrenaline induced attacks guided toward her and never about her.

‘The burners were produced by Stark Industries for our very own spy unit. They are equipped with a taser, flashlight, and laser.’

Jumping so your feet were planted firmly on the passenger seat, you make sure everything is in place: the stolen files, your gun, your phone, and earpiece. “Keep your foot on that pedal, Rogers. I don’t feel like blowing up tonight.”

He releases a shaky breath, hands turning pale from the grip he has on the steering wheel. “You and me both.”

“Friday?” Your voice is only slightly timid, but you manage to move your body out from the front seats and to the back.

‘The laser, Agent Y/LN. Cut through the seats.’

Nodding along to her instructions, you search for the burner under your skirt and unstrap it from the holster. Pulling its ancient antenna outward, Friday verbally guides you through the very simple instruction. The laser blasts out unexpectedly at first making you squeal, which in turn causes Friday (a literal AI) to chuckle. You’re thankful the antenna was facing the back seats already.

“Doing good back there?”

You respond with a low grunt as you carefully carve out the largest rectangle you can create. “You better have shoved the thing close. Any stop signs up ahead?”

Steve’s getting worried now, but instead of putting you more on edge, he hides it pretty well. “Thank god this place is in the middle of nowhere.”

You don’t even give his response acknowledgement as you finally pull the leather, metal, and weird cushion filling away and spot the shield. “I got it, got it, got it.”

‘My sensors suggest you’ll have a good five seconds to escape the vehicle once the Captain releases the pedal.’

You make sure your hair is in the tightest ponytail known to man and that your skirt is bunched up in your free arm. You strap the shield onto the other. “Steve, you gonna be alright?”

His eyes are still focused on the road, but he braves a look in the mirror back at you. His voice is stern but not demanding. “I know you hate the damn shield but bend your legs, jump sideways, and tuck your head.”

“Yeah,” you nod along. Damn straight you’ll put your hate aside for one second if it’s here to save your life. “You better jump on time, you understand me?”

“Sam,” Steve keeps the speed steady and tries to ignore the way his heart is pounding from the sound of you kicking open the back door. “Sam, Widow. Widow.”

Before you jump, the asphalt a never ending, rapid glare of absolute darkness, you leave your phone on the seat in case Steve still needs her. “Friday, send Sam and Torres our location. They’re the only ones who can fly in undetected. Tell them what you told us.”

‘Will do, Agent Y/LN.’

“Be careful.”

You smirk at him, “Don’t be a hero and crash this one into the ice, yeah?”

You don’t wait for his reaction and instead take the plunge. The shield makes a hard impact with the asphalt down below, screeching for what seems like an eternity before slowing down. You did as instructed: knees tucked into your chest as far as you were able, head doing the same. By the time the ride finally ends and you’ve gone partially deaf, you can make out the sound of a loud explosion a close distance away. The heat from the sudden burst of wind nips at your face. You’ve also gone partially blind.

Your poor boots are definitely ruined and there’s a faint tell of a bruised ankle in the works. The arm attached to the shield will also need to be popped back into place - it shouldn’t feel this loose. Luckily, your head and torso were completely unscathed.

Lifting yourself up the best you could without straining anything too much, you noticed the car still in flames but driven off the road.

“He jumped, he jumped, he jumped,” you repeat, limping as quickly as you could, shield still attached to your arm. The closer you get the clearer everything becomes, regardless of the smoke. “Steve.”

You squint through the orange light and the dark of night. The fire wasn’t all that loud in its crackles and it doesn’t take you long to realize while tapping your ears that you lost your earpiece.

“Steve,” you try again, adrenaline still pumping but panic seeping in. As if on cue, you can make out his body laying far away from the car relatively unharmed. “Ah, shit.” You drop down on your knees and wince involuntarily. Slapping his cheeks doesn’t wake him up, neither does gently shaking him. You don’t want to do anything to hurt him more.

The sound of gravel popping kicks you back into spy mode. Hide. This was a hit, of course it was, and they were coming to see their job done.

“You so owe me,” you groan as you unstrap the shield to throw it into the woods, the faint tell of it hitting a tree enough to make you work faster. You hook your arms underneath Steve’s armpits and bend your knees, breathing in deeply and out a few times before pulling him with all your strength. There’s pain shooting up your arm but you try to ignore it. Small whimpers escape you as you pull harder and finally make it a good distance from the wreckage. You sit Steve, still unconscious, behind one of those massive pine trees and sit next to him after retrieving the shield.

It’s only two black SUV’s that come to check their hard work. They’re bending down and using their own fire extinguishers, snapping their own photos, the works. It isn’t until Seda walks over to admire the wreckage that you have to bite your bottom lip to keep from screaming.

You’re seated in front of Steve now with the shield in front of you when a sudden movement to your left startles you. Before you scream, however, a hand covers your mouth.

“Shh, shh.” Sam. Your eyes fill with tears.

“I’ve got him. Torres is coming for you, alright? I’m the only one who can carry him out.”

It doesn’t take much to convince you. You’re silently helping Sam strap Steve against his chest as Seda and his men are now investigating the woods. You can hear them close, cursing and yelling about finding you.

“Go a little further. Down there,” Sam points in front of you. “Torres is parked and waiting. Go.”

“Don’t drop him.” Sam stifles his laugh.

You follow his directions, limping as quickly as you can, and finally find Torres, your second knight in shining armor of the night.

After an all clear from the medical team, Steve is left alone in your hotel room to rest. He still hasn’t woken up but Helen isn’t worried since his scans show no major damage. Small talk with the rest of the team fills in the time but it’s like you’re not really there, merely a participant on a loop. There’s a bitter taste in your mouth and you’re covered in scratches and smoky ash and you can’t shake the feeling of wanting to kill something.

Your father wanted you dead. And showing up to the wedding was just going to anger him more but it had to be done. But you were tired, so fucking tired, tired to the point where you couldn’t sleep or rest.

You let your hair down but stay in your tattered clothing, making yourself useful as best you can. You answer questions, you review footage, you draft up some reports. Bucky tries to sit you down at one point, but he backs off when you simply shake your head and give him that famous broken smile.

You’re sitting at your desk trying to save some of your phone’s cloud through the connected email. Sam has already ordered you a new phone. On the computer to your left, you’re scanning and uploading the files you stole tonight. On the right, your little butterfly is transcribing conversations from yesterday.

The transcription is finished before the uploads. It prints.

SEDA: ‘Ernesto needs to know how many more women we can get from Jonathon. I thought you said your Italian contact was up to date?’

UNKNOWN: ‘He is. But the women are coming from here instead. Got a load of ten just now.’

SEDA: ‘The shipment goes out during the wedding. Not before, not after. We can’t fuck this up for Ernesto and we cannot have the stars and stripes finding out.’

UNKNOWN: ‘Ernesto plans to mention it to him tomorrow.’

SEDA: ‘Then make sure he keeps quiet about it.’

The bitter taste in your mouth returns and you have to run to the nearest bathroom.

Steve wakes just an hour after, disoriented but able to discern who he is. “What happened?”

You’re standing at the foot of his bed, having just got there a few minutes before, practically on the verge of tears. “... Did you know?”

There it was. Any hope of truly coming to terms with this new world order or his role in it, any hope of feeling like he did before he succumbed to the American war propaganda and became a science experiment, crumbling before him. The heavy weight that were your shoulders, crumbling like shaky mountains. His own, tense and straining and urging him to get out of bed.

He’s been in the trenches when the smell of gas and blood clogged his nostrils and made him dizzy. He’s experienced loss a thousand times over, just heinous instances of despair where he swore he was torn in two. He’s lost on his own accord and pretended like the world was still on its axis.

And he knew his time was up. He just thought he’d have more than a day to enjoy it. “I was going to tell you.”

It’s like the air is punched out of you. “You knew?”

“Please, listen, please,” he scrambles out of bed.

“What the fuck, Rogers?”

“Ramirez told us yesterday. I swear I only found out yesterday. Yesterday.”

“Yesterday?” You’re stepping away from him. He’s almost on his hands and knees and you’re stepping away from him. “Before?”

Steve makes a pained noise. “Yes, but please-”

“No! You kept this to yourself and you had the fucking audacity to share the same bed as me?”

“Please, let me explain-” He tries to reach out but you side-step him. He reacts like you’ve shot him.

“Don’t touch me, Steve!”

“Please, just let me explain. We all know - Bucky, Sam, Torres, we all know.”

Your face does something he’s never seen it do. “Fuck?”

He’s talking faster now, words just spilling on the floor and into the air and he doesn’t know what else to do. “We’re tracking it. We have a plan set. We were supposed to tell you tomorrow before the wedding.” He stops to take in a breath. “I was going to tell you.”

“You went behind my back.”

“If I would have told you, you would have done something horrible tonight! We need your father alive to find those people!”

Eyes wide in shock and anguish, you step further away from him. Each step was the equivalent of a dagger plunging deep into Steve’s heart, twisting and burning its way to the depths of his vulnerability. He wanted to succumb to the pain - after all, he deserved it.

“That would have been my choice to make!”

Now he pushed forward, shoulders hunched and palms turned upward as if he was pleading for a crumb of understanding. “I was gonna kill him.”

He drops to his knees, arms wrapping around your waist. You remained perfectly still, a tree stump with no cover. “I was gonna shoot him between the eyes when I first found out. But if I had done that, then we would never know the location of those people.”

His weight was pulling you down and you felt his wet cheek against your stomach. “I deserved to know.”

His grip tightened, “You did. But if you would have known-”

“I would have known. Period.”

He had to know how much he weighed. But Steve leaned his body onto yours harder, afraid you would vanish and god forbid turn to dust. It didn’t really register in his mind that, even though he was holding you in place, you weren’t exactly trying to escape his hold either.

He had let you go once and he’ll be goddamned if he let you go again.

“It ate me alive. I hated doing this-”

You pushed against his shoulders and sensed his reluctance to let go. Instead, you look down at him and tense your jaw. “Steve, you don’t hate me, do you?”

His face dropped and his grip loosened. You should just slap him across the face, Steve thinks, because how in the world were you thinking that at this moment? Never did he think you would find a way to twist this - to somehow blame yourself for his mistake. Took a long time to see it, but you were just as righteous as he was. It would get you both killed someday.

“Why do you think that? What in the world would make you think that after all this time? After everything?”

He lets you push him away so he could stand but he makes sure to keep his hands on you. A tangible promise that you are real.

“You agreed to help me catch a drug lord. You didn’t sign up for this extra mess.”

“We may not always know what we’re up against,” Steve began, sniffing and wiping at his wet face. God, he felt like such a mess. “But I could never fucking hate you. Don’t even think that.”

“You sure?” your voice cracks, hands slightly shaking from the need to touch him too. “Captain America didn’t sign up for this.”

He shakes his head almost violently, “No, no. Don’t go there. I am not him, I haven’t been him in a long time.”

“Steve-”

“No! I’ve hated the title for a while now. I’m done. I’ve hated my reflection for years and years.” The tiny whine in the middle of your throat gurgled and your hands moved instantly to cup his cheeks. “I represent no one but myself. I’m tired of others thinking I’m the same man from ten years ago, or the same man from the forties, or the same man from last week just because they’re enamored by that star on my chest.”

He tilts his head to lean into your touch, “I am helping you because it’s the honorable thing to do. I signed up for this work, I intend to finish it. Not Captain America, but me - Steve, me.”

“You’re still making me feel like it’s something you have to do.”

“I admit that I was never overly fond of the idea of being wrapped up in this,” Steve admits, hands now cupping yours over his cheeks. “But toppling this empire will keep you safe.”

As heartwarming as that sounded, you broke the fantasy. “The minute we take the giants out, they’ll elect someone new.”

“But we take the giants out. The giants that hurt you.”

He’s right, like always.

“Steve,” you say quietly, bringing his face closer to kiss away his tears. You’re struggling to keep the tippy-toes and your ankle is screaming for a break, but you persist. “You should have told me.”

“I know.”

“No more secrets.”

“None, I swear, I promise.”

Biting your lip to keep from crying, you make sure his eyes are locked on yours before you speak. “I’m not walking away this time. I’m not leaving you. Not again.”

Steve’s mouth releases a big burst of air like he was holding it in, and he wraps you in a hug that promises the same.

TAGLIST: @dumb-ass-writer @justab-eautifulmess @supraveng @mycosmicparadise @missnighttigress

A/N: Wooooo that took forever lol xxMoni

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