#if you told me like 4 years ago i’d be shipping those two id be like what the fuck are you talking about whos that

[wawataka]

i fell in love with a rare pare bc i was stupid and thought my hopeless romantic ass wouldn’t get too attached. now look whos laughing

[sergeantsporks]

Swapped

Ch 3/5

Ch 1, Ch 2

Ao3

Or read under the cut

It was a small patch on his knee, like a scrape, but it wasn’t a scrape. It was stone. Blue stone.

And suddenly, worries and anxieties he hadn’t felt for CENTURIES came flooding back in a rush.

What if they saw?

What if they found out?

What if they realized that he wasn’t the real Hisirdoux?!

And now, now there were new anxieties, things he hadn’t worried about centuries ago.

What if they hated him?

What if they turned him away?

What if they never wanted to see him again?

What if Zoe’s face curled up in disgust as she realized she’d been kissing a troll mouth. Worse, a changeling mouth?

What was going on?! Why, why now, after centuries of no problems, was he turning to stone? He hadn’t once transformed back to his troll form—what if he was supposed to do that every so often, or it would start to leak through?

There had to be someone he could contact to find out. The Janus order—they’d know. Right?

So he snuck out.

When Archie’s snoring started, and Zoe’s breathing slowed down to the little puffs he knew meant she was deep in dreamland.

Douxie felt a weird ache in his chest at the thought of not hearing those little sounds again. He needed to fix this problem. Now. Before it spread.

So he crept through the streets, almost certain that he’d seen a bar with a sign that had two faces on it. Two faces. The Janus order. It was worth a shot, right?

So he went inside. There was only one solitary bar girl, and she gave him an odd glance. “Sorry. We’re closed tonight, kiddo. Reserved.”

“Gunmar,” he blurted. He didn’t know any changeling code, because that wasn’t one of the things Dictatious—Dictatious, he hadn’t thought about the many-eyed troll for so long—had told him. So he just blurted out the first thing that popped into his head.

The bar girl’s eyes widened. “Oh! Sorry. What’s the problem?”

“I’m turning to stone,” Douxie babbled, “I’m turning into stone, but I’m not trying to transform, it just happened, and I don’t know what’s going on!”

“Ooookay, you’re obviously new to this. Slow down. Show me.”

Douxie rolled up his pant leg to show her the blue stone spot on his knee. “Why’s it doing that?!”

She peered closely at it. “If I had to guess? I’d say your familiar scraped a knee. Weird. Normally the goblins take such good care of them.”

Douxie grabbed her sleeve as she turned to go. “How do I find out?”

She blinked at him. “Wow. You really don’t know anything about being a changeling, huh? Okay. Look. You can check in on your familiar any time you like. You just gotta.” She screwed her face up, made a retching noise, and spat at a mirror. Douxie jumped back.

“That’s disgusting!”

“Nah, look!”

Douxie steeled himself to look at the glob of spit on the mirror, and saw that it had transformed into an image of a little baby girl, asleep in a crib. “That’s…”

“My familiar. Cute little thing, isn’t she?” The image faded away. “You try.”

Douxie’s spitting wasn’t nearly as impressive as hers, but the image appeared. Hisirdoux was in a stasis trap, a bloody scrape on his knee. “That’s him!”

“An adult? Wow. You are a weird little changeling, aren’t you?”

“I wonder what happened…”

“Well, usually the familiars are babies. They don’t go anywhere. Yours probably just got loose, and fell before they got control of him again. If it’s really bothering you…” The changeling looked around. “Go to America. Arcadia Oaks. The leader of the Order lives there, Waltholomew Stricklander. He might be able to figure out what’s going on. Watch out, though, there’s a troll colony living there, and it is the homeplace of the trollhunter. Good luck.”

Douxie nodded and slipped away, creeping back inside the house he shared with Archie and Zoe before they woke up. It was just one scraped knee—like the changeling bar girl had said, it was probably just a problem with doing the sleeping spell on someone a little older. Nothing to worry about.

Until he woke up with thick lines of stone lashed across his chest.

No. No, no, no, no!

Douxie touched the stone lines delicately. They were just the right distance apart for a set of Gum-Gum claws. He yanked a shirt over his head, fast before Zoe or Archie saw. This was getting out of hand. He needed to get in contact with Stricklander.

Xxx

“America?” Archie asked, sounding slightly-disgusted, “Why America?”

Zoe grabbed his hand. “New York?! I’ve heard things about New York—we could be vigilantes! Do you know the crime rates there, Douxie? And we have to go to at least one rock concert, promise me!”

“We’re already vigilantes,” Douxie laughed, “Just the magical kind. What, you want to add muggers to our resume? No, not New York. I’ve got somewhere else in mind. Arcadia Oaks. Supposedly, it has a troll colony. And where there’s a colony of trolls, there’s bound to be… pest problems.” He gave Zoe’s hand a squeeze, some of her excitement leeching into him. And it was exciting! Leaving Europe for a totally new continent? Once he got this whole familiar thing sorted out, there wasn’t any reason not to have fun. “But I promise that we will go to New York and see a rock concert first.”

“Yessssss!”

Xxx

“Okay. Our first order of business ought to be looking for stable employment and—”

Douxie and Zoe both ignored Archie, hopping off of the bus and tearing around the city. “It’s so sunny here,” Zoe complained, “It’s like Italy all over again!”

“Oh, you liked Italy,” Douxie replied, “It is a bit bright, but—”

“Hey! What are you two kids doing out of school?!”

Douxie jumped as a police officer approached them. “Oh—we’re… new in town?”

The officer snorted. “I can tell.”

“I’m an adult. Actually.” Zoe offered, “I don’t have to be in school.” She pulled out an ID—when had she gotten a driver’s license?!

The officer squinted at it, then shrugged. “Alright, Miss Zoe, you’re off the hook. What about Skippy here?” He jabbed a thumb at Douxie.

“Wha—Skippy?!”

“Him?” Zoe said with a grin. “Oh, no. He’s a minor. Tiny little baby. Ship him off to school.”

The officer nodded, turning to Douxie. “And which school are you enrolled in?”

“Uhhhhh Aaarcaaadia Oaaaksss…. Academy?” Douxie tried, shooting Zoe a dirty look.

“Haven’t gotten your uniform yet? Alright, come on, in the squad car, I’ll take you to school. And you, Miss Zoe, try to be a better influence on him, will you?”

The officer dragged Douxie into the car, and Douxie mouthed “I’ll kill you” at a snickering Zoe. Actually, though, this was a good opportunity, while he was separated. “Hey, do you know anyone named Waltholomew Stricklander?” he asked the cop as he drove through the streets.

“No. Odd name. Closest we’ve got is a Walter Strickler. Teaches at the other school. Why?”

“Uhm. Just… looking for an old family friend. Thanks anyway.” Just his luck that there really was an Arcadia Oaks Academy, he thought gloomily as the car pulled into a school. He got marched to the principal’s office.

“Are you missing a new student? Possibly an exchange student?”

Right. The principal would say no, he’d make a getaway, and then he’d hunt Zoe down and throw her into the nearest body of water.

“As a matter of fact, we are! We didn’t have time to get his uniform, but…” A schedule, a map, and a stack of books was thrust into Douxie’s hands. “You should be in Calculus right now, young man.”

No way! Seriously? Douxie gave him his best apologetic grin. “Yes sir!”

Great. Now he just had to figure out what calculus was.

Douxie would have bolted, but the cop was watching him all the way to the classroom, so he edged inside. The door creaked far more than he thought was necessary, and the teacher turned to face him.

“May I help you?”

Douxie brushed his bangs back behind his ears nervously. “Um. Hello? I’m… new here?”

“Ahhhh, the transfer student! We weren’t expecting you until tomorrow.”

“Heh. Well, try telling the cops that.”

“Hm, yes. Set your things down, and then why don’t you come up to the board and fill in the radian coordinates on this unit circle!”

Douxie could speak elvish, orcish, trollish, a number of human languages, and decipher wizard code, but he didn’t have any idea what she’d just said. He scooted ever-so-slowly to the back of the classroom and set his books down, then shuffled to the front of the classroom, taking the marker from the teacher like it was a poisonous snake. The giant circle covered in indecipherable markings loomed up at him. He hesitantly wrote a 2 on one of the blank spaces, earning a snort from someone in the front row. He ignored them and kept writing random numbers in the blanks. More snickers made his ears burn, and finally he capped the marker and set it down.

“Alright, class, hands up if you think he’s right.”

No hands went up.

“Sit back down, please.”

Douxie trudged back to his seat in what was possibly the most shameful walk of his entire life while the teacher spouted more calculus nonsense that went over his head. He tried to pay attention for a bit—he really did—but it became pretty obvious pretty fast that he was missing about 4 years worth of previous math that he should know in order to understand this, so he put his head down on the desk, praying for it all to end.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you that punk’s dead?” someone else in the back hissed to him with a snicker, “Where’s your uniform?”

“Hank, shut up!” someone else responded, “I’m pretty sure he’s one of the public school kids sneaking in! His accent is so obviously faked!”

“My accent is not—” Douxie shook his head. What did it matter? He was a centuries old magician who knew arcane secrets of the universe that the Calculus teacher could never hope to understand. The opinion of a few regular human teenagers shouldn’t have mattered.

It shouldn’t have.

At lunch, he hopped the fence and ran for it, beelining for the public school. The academy kids whooped and cheered as he ran away. Excited that something interesting was happening? Or glad that he in particular was leaving? Not that it mattered to him.

He had to check in on this Walter Strickler, just in case. And sure enough, when he peered in the office windows, he could spot magical items lying about with regular things. Douxie cracked open the window and slipped inside. Wow. This guy really did have quite the collection of magic books. It wouldn’t hurt to read a few while he was waiting, would it?

He was halfway through his third book and the last school bell had rung for the day when he heard footsteps echoing down the hallway. He hastily shoved the books back in their spots and waited, suddenly realizing that if Walter Strickler wasn’t a changeling, he was going to have to talk his way out of a nasty breaking and entering situation.

But when the door did open, Douxie could recognize the changeling in him—it was something about the way he carried himself, like he had centuries of experience.

“Hey there,” Douxie said casually, “Got a little changeling question for you.”

Strickler didn’t seem too concerned by his presence, fiddling with a pen. “You are drawing far too much attention to yourself. Getting dragged off by the police? Skipping school? And that accent-! What kind of a sad excuse for a changeling are you?”

“No one exactly gave me a crash course in being a changeling!” Douxie protested, “And besides, I’m a changeling masquerading as a wizard masquerading as a human. I think I’m doing pretty well, all things considered!”

“The special assignment. Hisirdoux. I thought you were a myth. What with having no way of contacting you and all.”

“Uh—well—yeah. Not the point. I’ve got a bit of a situation. My familiar seems to keep injuring himself somehow? I want to contact Dictatious. Make sure everything is alright.”

Strickler snapped the pen shut. “Contact the darklands?!”

“Uh… yeah?”

“No one can do that! Do you think I’d be searching tirelessly for the eyestone if I could simply ring for Gunmar on the telephone?!”

“How come? Changelings seem to get in and out pretty easily.”

“It’s not the same. I’m afraid I cannot help you—it may be frustrating, but you will simply have to operate on less than ideal information. And, ah, Hisirdoux? Do try not to draw any more attention to yourself.”

Xxx

“You are not funny,” Douxie grumbled as he pushed open the door to some kind of tech shop.

Zoe grinned, hopping off of her place on a bench and going on tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Awww, did someone not have a good day at school?

“No kisses. According to you, I’m a minor and you’re an adult.”

“Don’t be irritated at Zoe,” Archie piped up, “I’m the one who enrolled you in school.”

“You did what?!”

“There are things I cannot teach you, Douxie!”

“Like calculus?! Get real, Arch, I’m never going to need calculus! Besides, when am I going to have the time?! I’ll need a job, and—wait a second, why are you talking in here?”

“Oh, this place?” Zoe said affectionately, “This is run by hedge wizards. Aaaaand there’s no customers at the moment, so we’re good. I have a job here now, actually. They’ll be able to use more money for their magical projects now that they won’t be paying an electric bill anymore.”

“Okay. Fantastic. School, Archie?!”

“Just stick it out for a year, alright? You’re listed as a senior, so you’ll graduate, and you can do whatever you want after that.”

“Assuming I can graduate! I don’t know any of this stuff, Arch! I’m going to fail everything!”

“You’re a quick learner. I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You’ve spent centuries doing nothing but bouncing around the world hunting monsters. I’m sure one year of schooling will pass in a flash.

[diningpageantry]

tag game(s)

anï (i’m too exhausted to do three separate posts but i was tagged in three tag games over the past few days and i’d forgotten to do the last few games i was tagged in and i feel super guilty so here they are in one go)

i don’t know who to tag to do these rn because my brain is dead i am emotionally exhausted and i’m writing a fic that’s about halfway done so i’m gonna say tag anyone who wants to be tagged for any of these. i’m so sorry that i’m dead, i will be back alive again after may 10th, which is my AP exam day

six questions challenge

tagged by @simon--speaks

rules: answer the questions, then tag 9 people you want to get to know better!

Q1: Relationship status?

single bby

Q2: Favorite color?

maroon !

Q3: Top 3 ships?

snowbaz (wow) and uh. wow. idk who else. i wanna say my own ocs matchstick and summer (is that allowed? i’m making it allowed)

Q4: Lipstick or chapstick?

whenever i get to this question in any ask i freeze up because i use a tinted chapstick so i don’t look dead but like. it can also be seen as a lipstick because it has pigment. but. chapstick.

Q5: Last song I listened to?

Run by Hozier

Q6: Last movie I watched?

uhhh i watched like. 5 minutes of the emperor’s new groove a few days ago, and watched a documentary about obscure houses like 10 minutes before that. so. i’m gonna say the house documentary.

21 questions

i was tagged by @simon--speaks, @angelsfalling16, @wo2ash, @alixanderthequeer, @sharkmartini and @bazypitchandsimonsnow

rules: answer 21 questions then tag 21 people

nickname: anï, munchkin, menina, and my hebrew name is elisheva

height: the doctor says i’m 5′3.5″, but they can’t put fractions on IDs so according to the state i’m 5′4″ and i cling to that

last movie i saw: see above (so like. funky houses)

last thing i googled: (next town over) movie tavern. i’m not saying where it is exactly bc hah i don’t wanna be stalked but. i was looking at movie times because they have $5 movies every tuesday

favorite musician: frank iero. love that funky rat man and his funky music too (i’m gonna see him for the second time next month because i made the executive adult decision to say fuck it to my seizures and go see him anyway)

song stuck in my head: i don’t have one rn but usually it’s a song by the killers (when you were young is a usual one)

other blogs: none, actually! i didn’t delete my old tumblr purely bc i’m a nostalgic dumbass, but it’s a completely different login and it’s inactive so i don’t count it.

followers: 1,666 (originally i wasn’t gonna share the number but it hit this last night and i was like heh. nice)

following: 231

amount of sleep: 8ish hours! (spring break bby)

lucky numbers: 7, multiples of 3 (only in cases of knocking), and multiples of 2 (only in cases like volume)

dream job: writing and illustrating books! i have a variety of dream jobs within art, and even within the subcategory of books, but my top dream job is creating inclusive/diverse children’s books that represent a variety different ethnicities/races, religions, abilities, and identities so that children can see themselves represented in media

what i’m wearing: a black turtleneck, a bra, and marvel boxers. that’s it.

favorite food: soup in general. i make a kick ass matzo ball soup

language: english, conversational portuguese, i know a small small bit of japanese (i should know more given i was raised being taught it but i always struggled with it), and i know some spanish. i also plan on teaching myself ASL.

can i play an instrument: yes! i’ve been playing violin since i was 2. i wanna play guitar and i know some chords but i have small hands so it’s hard to find one that’s the right size that isn’t a shitty children’s guitar, and i sing! i’m an alto

favorite song: hnnghg please don’t make me pick................ i’d have to say choke on one another by death spells

random fact: so like. if you didn’t know already, i’m an LGBTQ+ youth activist on a national scale. i disappear on occasion because i’m doing something or another, and sometimes i post about it on my blog (speaking of i have exciting news that i heard, but at the same time, i’m pretty much booked every weekend from middle of next month until middle of july), but........ i hate networking. i loathe it. if i never had to network again, i’d be thrilled. networking is my absolute least favorite thing because i struggle at everyday conversation, much less networking with people at least 10-20 years my senior. sure it’s usually free publicity and i get great connections, but god. at what cost? and like.... it’s always after a really emotionally taxing event, so i’m already drained and then wow here’s a room full of adults who want my 18 year old input. please. just let me steal a cupcake then leave.

describe yourself in aesthetic things: dye stained fingernails and necks. cranked open windows during a spring shower. dried tears and breaking laughs. coffee stains and milky tea splashes. trembling fingers, writing instead of speaking because you’re too afraid, and finally breaking free--running through the rain. scabbing blood, fresh piercings. knowing you’re loved and not saying it because it doesn’t need to be spoken. the smell of a new canvas, paint splattered jeans, and art school sweaters. black skirts with docs, then fairy lights and soft blankets hidden behind sharp profanities and harsh disgust. the unexpected. the unknown. the ever-changing, unstoppable force of the shifting tides. 

carry on questions

tagged by @goodbyedandelion, @isthisisagoodkiss @wo2ash, 

1- favorite type of scone? 

cranberry orange! one of the farms a county over has a market and they sell them there and they’re to die for (altho, i found a sour cherry scone recipe that i’ve perfected and my family loves them so they’re a close second now)

2- london or la?

i’ve never been to london, but i’m gonna have to go with london. i went to la last october to present in an awards show for my organization and i lowkey was underwhelmed. i’m very much a gloom and rain kinda person, and it was too dry and sunny there. although, i did think the huge succulents were sick as fuck. but yeah definitely london. i’m planning to spend a semester abroad there in a few years for an illustration program

3- kissing in a forest or holding hands under the stars?

i’m afraid of forests because we have a lot of wildlife and i don’t want to get mauled by a bear don’t mind me holding hands under the stars :)

4- jeans or suit?

suit suit suIT SUIT suit. i love wearing suits. my chest doesn’t cooperate and my hips always hate them but god i do love suits.

5- loose hair or pulled back hair?

mine looks better loose, and my sides/back are shaved but the top reaches my ears, so it gets annoying sometimes and i pull it up to keep it out of my face

6- vampires or dragons?

i wanna say both. i used to say “yknow a dragon but in human form would be hot” then i got called dragon fucker for like two years so out of pure spite i’m going with vampires.

7- what saying do you wish could be a spell?

(this one’s a very specific reference so hear me out) “i’ve got to go pee on her”  used to disorient and confuse the speech of the person casted upon. it’s one of my favorite quotes from scott pilgrim vs. the world (my favorite movie ngl) when scott’s brain can’t figure out two different sentences and he just says that. it’s so good and just fuckin weird that i love it.

8- which carry on character would you go on a coffee date with if you could?

depends tbh! if we’re talking date date, then penny because i would wife penny in 0.5 seconds, but if we’re talking friends getting coffee then 10000000% baz because i’d talk activism and identities with him

9- favorite carry on quote?

“he told me we would be stars” (i don’t have my book on me so i could be getting the line wrong), but it hit so hard for me. like it’s clear how davy manipulated lucy so much that she fell into it and couldn’t crawl out. it’s such a powerful message of control from those who are charismatic enough to hold it, and how sometimes we aren’t weak enough to let go.

10- how excited are you for wayward son?

lemme paint this picture: i started hyperventilating in the hallway when i found out, and then cried an hour or two later when my friend texted me that he preordered me a signed copy. like. i’ve been pre-planning how to get home from college to come and pick it up (okok the 24th is also my dad’s birthday so i’m. um. “coming home to visit him”, of course) because i’m just SO EXCITED to read them again in a canon way :’)

[codylabs]

Shifting Sands Chapter 4: Council of Nightmares

Chapters: One Two Three Four

Long ago, before they imprisoned ███████, before these creatures had ever arrived on her world, while she was still with him, something had happened. She never had a way to know before, but now she realized:

She was pregnant.

The scientists hadn’t noticed it yet, but it was only a matter of time. They’d been watching her closely ever since she’d killed Dr. &R/\BJ, and there was no chance the child could escape their scrutiny for long. She could feel the egg growing inside her, taking up space, taking up nutrients, and more of both with every passing day. Soon they would notice. And when she gave birth, then they would do something about it… Take it, kill it, clone it…

She couldn’t let that happen. She had to do something…

Perhaps if she could get out of the tube, she could pass the egg early, and somehow get it inside one of the scientists; then the child could complete the rest of its development away from their testing, then eat him from the inside, and then… No, no, that wouldn’t work. Soon as it burst out, they would just quarantine and take it…

She could begin shapeshifting so rapidly and so frequently that they couldn’t track or detect its growth… No, she’d still have to give birth eventually, and then they’d take it…

No.

No, this is no place to have a child.

So she morphed and slimmed the umbilical link she shared with the child, to limit its nutrients and oxygen. With its growth stunted, her child’s only method of survival was to instinctively form a hardened shell, and go into a state of deep dormancy.

One day, she would break down the shell and allow it to grow again. But not now. Not soon.

For now, her baby would fight for its life, just as she was.

They would survive.

   “███████ wake up!” She awoke in the middle of the night to see Dr. cl;**4 rushing into the lab, his breath coming fast and ragged, and a wild smile on his young face. “It’s time, ███████! It’s really time!”

“What? What’s happening?” She sat up.

“A mutiny!” He explained. “A mutiny! It’s finally happening, we’re finally doing it!”

“Really?!?”

“Yes! The metalheads organized it; they’re going to saw through the bulkheads to the bridge, the mice are going to disable the power systems, and it looks like we’ll actually be able to get control from the Captain! ███████, you’re gonna be going home!”

“T-that’s great! What do you need me to do?”

“Uh… Okay.” Dr. cl;**4 reached into his coat and produced an ID card. “Do you think you can mimic Dr. Zlfo]n’s voice and tentacleprints well enough to fool a computer?”

She took on the head scientist’s form, and showed him the patterns on the limbs.

“Wow… Okay, great! Awesome!” Now cl;**4 fished around his lab coat for the key to her containment tube. “There’s a chance that the command crew could improvise the life support systems into a defensive weapon; increasing or decreasing the air temperature and pressure, pumping in toxic gases, forming violent vortices, that sort of thing. But Dr. Zlfo]n has authorization to access the life support controls in sector 18. So it would really help us if you went in there and locked down all the air-handling systems on the ship. Would you do that? I’ll be there to walk you through it…”

“I can do that!”

“Thanks so much, ███████!” He opened the tube.

She killed him.

Then she drug the body with her out of the lab. When she found a quiet place, she cut open his body to examine the muscles and bones and nerves, see how the tentacles were structured and how the ligaments lay with the bones. In short order, she memorized and mimicked these same designs in her own body, so that any future attempts at mimicry would have flawless accuracy. Now that cl;**4’s body had exhausted its usefulness, she sealed it in an airtight storage locker, so that nobody would ever discover what happened to him.

And then, while the mutiny filled the ship with chaos and confusion around her, she began to explore. She traveled the length, breadth, and circumference of the ship, learning the way the engines were laid out, the location of crucial components, the positions of passenger dorms, testing sectors, cargo bays, the routes through and hiding spaces within the network of life support tubes that linked everything… She learned many things.

However, after an hour or so, the sounds of fighting died down and security drones returned to their normal patrols, indicating that the mutiny had been successfully quelled. She returned to her tube as well, locked it shut and destroyed the key, so that there was no evidence that anything ever happened.

In the morning, the tired and weary scientists continued about their ordinary work in a defeated way. Nobody mentioned the mutiny, nobody brought up new plans, nobody stepped out of line once. And nobody asked where cl;**4 was. They must all think that he’d been killed in the fighting, which was just as well, really.

As for her, she’d learned everything her plans required.

Now all she had to do was wait for the prophet’s vision to come true. Once the ship crashed, her designs would come to fruition.

And until then, she and her child would survive.

   The months stretched on into years.

Elsewhere in the ship, she sensed tensions rising even further. The mutiny had been broken, but its causes had not. She heard the men speak more and more often of strange nightmares and visions. She watched the scientists lose their tempers and yell at each other over small matters. And sometimes, away down the halls, she heard voices crying out in insane, mad rants. Prophecies they sounded like, prophecies of warning and doom and damnation, like they’d all become prophets themselves in these dark days.

The people around her were getting crazy. And as she paced her tube for the thousandth time, she felt herself joining them, ever so slowly. She played little games with herself now, where she fought imaginary enemies, and sought to outwit them and kill them and devour them. The enemies she imagined for herself were always terrible and deadly, yet she always found a way to win…

This madness– She was imprisoned, even within her cage, imprisoned by the walls of her own mind and sanity, the walls that kept her imagination inside her head, kept insisting on the impossibility of her thoughts and dreams and ideas, limiting her mind and stealing her hope… Late one night, her last thought before sleep was a powerful, burning desire to be free of this prison.

And then, in her dreams, something else entirely appeared.

“WELL HEY THERE, HOURGLASS! WHAT’S NEW WITH YOU? ROUGH LIFE, AM I RIGHT?”

She frowned up at her new visitor. She’d seen many strange creatures before, but nothing at all like this… This was a level beyond and contrary to anything she’d ever imagined. Something different, something illogical, something far, far worse. Something from beyond. “…Who are you?” She asked the visitor.

“WHO, ME? WHY I’M A TALENT SCOUT!”

“…For who?” She frowned.

“FOR ME!”

She thought about that for a moment. “…And what do you want?”

“AHH HAHAHAHAHA I’LL GET RIGHT TO THE POINT THEN! THING IS LADY, I’VE BEEN PUTTING TOGETHER A GANG OF FREAKS AND KILLERS, OUTCASTS FROM ALL THE LANDS OF REALITY, AND WE’RE FIXING TO SET UP A UNIVERSE OF OUR OWN! UNLIMITED POWER, GODLIKE STATUS, THE SHATTERING OF MORTAL SHACKLES, THAT SORT OF THING! IT’S A PARTY TO END ALL PARTIES, ALMOST A BILLION YEARS PROPHECIED! I SAW YOU IN HERE, AND THOUGHT I’D MOSEY ON OVER AND ASK IF YOU’D LIKE TO GET IN ON THE ACTION? YOU’D FIT RIGHT IN, I SWEAR!”

“I see.” She nodded slowly. “…Why me?”

“WHY NOT? HAVE YOU SEEN THE REST OF THE CREW? THOSE SECULAR DULLARDS COULDN’T FIND THEIR CLOACA WITH BOTH TENTILLUM! THEIR LITTLE MINDS COULDN’T HANDLE THREE MINUTES OF THE PARTY I HAVE PLANNED! BUT YOU… YOU’RE A SPECIAL CASE, AIN’T YA, HOURGLASS? IN THE TIME I’VE WATCHED YOU, YOU’VE KILLED EIGHT PEOPLE, HALF-STRANGLED YOUR OWN UNBORN BABY, AND NEVER ONCE TOLD THE TRUTH TO ANYONE! THAT’S THE KINDA BAGGAGE I’M LOOKING FOR IN A BUSINESS PARTNER!”

“Oh…?” He seemed to know quite a lot about her; more than she’d like. So she went along. “And what would a ‘partnership’ involve…?”

“OH, NOT MUCH, AT LEAST FOR NOW! THE QUESTION YOU SHOULD BE ASKING IS WHAT I CAN DO FOR YOU!”

“…And what can you do for me?”

“GIVE YOU FREEDOM!”

“I’ll get out of this tube regardless. I have plans.”

“AND HOW LONG WILL YOURS TAKE? SOONER OR LATER THEY’RE GONNA NOTICE YOUR LITTLE ‘SURPRISE’, AND WHAT’S TO STOP THEM FROM EUTHANIZING ONE OR BOTH OF YOU AT THE FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE? BUT ME? I’M THE ONE PULLING STRINGS AROUND HERE, GORGEOUS. I COULD KEEP YOU SAFE.”

“What do you want from me in return?”

“HEYHEYHEY I WASN’T THROUGH WITH MY HALF YET! FREEDOM FROM THIS TUBE IS ONLY THE FIRST STEP! THE REST INVOLVES FREEDOM FROM YOUR OWN LINEAR DESTINY! FREEDOM FROM FINITY! FREEDOM FROM SANITY AND LOGIC ITSELF! IMAGINE SINGULAR POWER TO SHAPE AND FOLD A FACTORIAL NUMBER OF DIMENSIONS! INFLUENCE OVER TIME, AND THE POWER TO MAKE ANYONE WHO EVER WRONGED YOU SUFFER FOR ETERNITY! ALL AT THE SNAP OF A FINGER!”

“That’s what you want to do for me?”

“I DON’T THINK I STUTTERED PRINCESS! I’M OFFERING YOU GODDESSHOOD ON A PLATTER, AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PROMISE ME ONE ITTY-BITTY FAVOR! HOW’S IT SOUND?”

The being extended his hand. It sparkled with cold flame.

“…Are you hitting on me?”

“THAT WOULD BE A HOOT, WOULDN’T IT!”

She considered this for a moment, then extended her own hand. “Very well.” She agreed. “Ensure the safety of me and my child, and then give me the power of a god. In return, I promise to be your ally for eternity, and do anything you ask.”

“IT’S A DEAL!!!”

But just before the deal was sealed, the being snatched his hand away. The cold fire extinguished, and he floated off, as his eye probed her carefully and slowly.

“YOU KNOW WHAT LADY? DEAL’S OFF! I CAN TELL WHEN I’M BEING LIED TO.”

“Hmm?”

“TIME GETS AWAY FROM YOU, HOURGLASS! ENJOY THE CRASH!”

And she woke up.

What an odd dream.

Later that day, it finally happened: they discovered her child. They didn’t kill it, or take it, or harm it, but they ran their tests, and they gave into paranoid ramblings as they spent the rest of the day yelling at each other.

And she realized that sanity wasn’t a prison. Sanity was a fortress. Sanity was the strength she needed to stand on her own, and their madness was a wallowing pit of weakness which she regarded from a higher ground. Sanity was another step on the road she took to goddesshood in her own insidious way. She didn’t need to hoodwink some eldritch horror. She was indestructible. She was strong. She was ███████. She needed no one else.

Life goes on. Survival goes on. And they would do it alone.

   “███████, you asked for me?”

“Oracle, there is a being here. A being in my dreams. Do you know of what I speak?”

The oracle’s eyes darkened. “I do.”

“What do you know of it?”

The oracle hesitated. And when she spoke, it was with a haunting, slow tone of voice. “Sixty degrees that come in threes. Watches from within birch trees. Saw his own dimension burn, misses home and can’t return. Says he’s happy, he’s a liar; blame the arson for the fire. If he wants to shirk the blame, he’ll have to invoke its name. One way to absolve his crime, a different form, a different time…”

The lyric hung in the air, when for a moment it seemed as if all the crazy echoing sounds in the ship grew still and quiet to listen. ███████ considered the words, then smiled and asked rhetorically. “Is there anything more charming than an inscrutable mystery?”

To which the oracle answered with a gentle smile, her voice once again casual. “There is not.”

She chuckled, and crossed her arms. “…Will this… Being… Be the cause of the ship’s destruction?”

“Not the cause, but I do not doubt he plays a part in its instigation…” The oracle shrugged. “We have entered his territory. He has been given a certain power over us.”

“A power which can be broken by sanity.” ███████ pointed out.

“A power which feeds on insanity.” The oracle corrected her. “But may only be broken by prayer. You are more defenseless than you know…” The oracle turned to exit the lab, but turned and spoke over her shoulder before she crossed the threshold. “It is not too late for the Captain to turn back. And it is not too late for you.”

“…Why should I believe you?” She blurted. “God would surely not be stupid enough to trust me with something as dangerous as truth.”

“He loves you too much to offer you less. You have only to bow and be healed.”

“I shall never bow.”

“And I am stupid enough to hope.”

And the oracle left.

“I shall not bow.” She solemnly promised herself again, in the silence that followed her absence. “I shall survive.”

[thevagabondlog]

Ive been staring at this blank page for an hour now. I haven’t written a shred of anything in close to a year, but I feel like the current set of circumstances right now dictate it. Hermes guides me. I haven’t even written a draft by hand like I normally do, Im just letting this come out and it feels great.

The last two, maybe even three years of my strange trip on this planet have been such a surreal high paced blur. Ive come to realize that I do too much in too short a time, too many places visited, people met, things done in the dead of night and the overwhelming heat of the day. A few strings busted, a few hearts broken. Nothing out of the ordinary except the fact that my address is still changing every month and I’m still getting lost daily, both in reality and in my mind. Not that I’d change it for the world. I don’t even know who exactly reads this garbage but if you still are, know this is going to be a long one. Ive got a lot on my mind, time is on my side and there’s nowhere I need to be.

Everyday in the Caribbean is incredibly hot and sticky. Every night is mysterious and romantic.

Writing this is simultaneously difficult and surprisingly easy. Its difficult to explain whats been shredding through my head the last few months or however bloody long. Since I last attempted to write, if you can call it that, Ive since been through a serious and drama filled breakup with my long term girlfriend back home, been to seven countries including South Africa ( more on that later ), morphed back into the older Joshua Palmer and basically been running a permanent anarchic riot around the world. As I write now, its once again a hot day in the Bahamas and my head is still swirling with Ricardo Black Rum from the previous night. Special Edition, of course.

Church of the Open Sky.

April 5 - April 26, three weeks back in the motherland after more than a year and a half overseas. A lot of expectations held, almost none of them met. Im not quite sure why, but looking back now in June I realize i didn’t enjoy my stay there at all. Highlights include seeing my parents again (they wept) and one or two close friends who I’m not even sure are still friends at this stage. I came to realize I hate most of the people that fill up my tiny coastal hometown, largely due to the fact that they’re all hypocritical judgmental small minded people who have never been anywhere farther than the gas station in the next town. Keep in mind that these are the same people that said I’d never amount to anything and Id be back home after a month of failed traveling searching for a job running a yacht. Choke on your words. Anyhow, I also got told numerous times that I’d changed completely, becoming much more ‘arrogant’, ‘rude’, ‘insensitive’ etc to the people around me. I suppose in a way I was, but then everyone back in that place is easily offended and so narrow minded it makes me want to shoot myself. I suppose Im much happier over here, on my own and fending for myself, in foreign countries where I don’t know anyone, and all I know is where North-East is. The entire time I was back there, I couldn’t wait to come back to the West Indies. It feels good getting these thoughts down, they’ve been bouncing around my head for too long now.

I was dancing with some girl in a club a month or two ago and in-between reggaetron and soca she asked me a question no one has ever asked before: “Where do you consider home?” I really don’t know. Definitely not back in my hometown, I don’t plan on setting foot in that place for another twenty years at least. Its not on the boat either, nor on any of the islands. Id have to say home is wherever I feel alive the most. Which just so happens to be fifteen feet underwater looking up.

May 4 - Twentieth birthday in Georgetown, Exumas, Bahamas. Largely uneventful, frankly boring and unsatisfying. Mind you I was working at the time so of course the celebrations were minimal to non existent.

January 2017 - Current.

Adopted really strange sleeping patterns similar to a Russian insomniac writer fighting his bouts of suicidal depression with vodka and pharmaceuticals. I don’t know what this stems from other than my erratic lifestyle of mainly working onboard the entire day and still getting drunk at local bars into the early hours of every new day.

Right now its summer and every heat wave day is longer than the last.

I have lost interest in a lot of people who I once thought important. I do not know if this is selfish on my part or all just part of moving around constantly, or just one of those things you deal with as you get older. I have been told numerous times that I’m not going to make it past thirty, and for some reason or other I’m embracing the thought. Go out in a strange and mysterious accident of sorts somewhere out at sea, that place that once gave birth to me. Ill let you know.

For the past few weeks I have also had these increasingly frequent urges to just pack up, delete my Facebook and go completely off the grid, getting lost in strange and exotic foreign places. Lawrence of Arabia in Morocco. Not knowing the unknown is turning me on more and more everyday, as well as the idea of just giving the finger to all the people back home who are getting married young, stuck in nine-to-fives that they hate, and coming home to deal with the mortgage and car insurance people. I left the country the first time with no actual plan, one bag and sixty dollars in my pocket and I don’t regret a single moment. And I don't mean all those cliche travel pictures and utter bullshit you see on social media telling you to just ‘pack up and go’, I mean actually deserting myself. Exile on Main St. Highway Child. Midnight Rambler.

The lust for this has never been greater. I keep asking myself just what is holding me back?

My biggest fear is living a life just like everyone else, a life that no one remembers. Why should I listen to any authority or second guess myself? Time will tell and hopefully sooner or later. And if I’m not mistaken, and I surely hope not, I may have found someone to do it with. A woman unlike anyone else Ive met or ever known before. A woman who, somehow exceeds everything I think about her constantly and is basically the exact fibre of my dream girl since I was fifteen. Physically outrageous, a beautiful figure. Mentally, she keeps me on my toes only because I hope to somehow match her standards. Well travelled and with such an eerily alike mind to my own its more than possible we were once together in an earlier life. My best efforts of a description is a glorious hybrid of a gypsy, voodoo witch, mermaid, and the Goddess Aphrodite all in one. With a sprinkling of a rebellious 1960’s mindset which only turns me on further. Making love to her only broke my mind in two and made me question everything. She’s everything I ever wanted from every rock and roll song Ive listened to, and she’s in all of them. And believe it or not I only knew her for three days before she flew off again, once more traveling. While Im starting to feel a little stuck in this place. Most would say Im crazy, but I already knew that.

I do wonder what, and how exactly she’s had such an effect on me. It makes me look back at every other girl I’ve ever been with and realize that they do not even come close to her or the psycho-electric effect she has on me. And if you know me, you’d know I dont feel like this to anyone, ever. She’s touched me deep down, and the next few months or years or whatever only promise to be very exciting.

Im trying, and not succeeding very well, to look back at everything over the past few months and years, if you couldn’t tell by now. How many people did I meet for five minutes and never see again? Friends or lovers for one night and then gone the next day never to be seen? I look at what all my ‘friends’ are doing back home, studying in their first or second year. My best friend living with his fiancee and hating every second, constant fighting and the such but too scared to leave because he believes he loves her and well, believes he cant do any better. In love with the security and constant hard work I suppose. A friend through the grapevine told me recently that he has lost respect for me and hates the lifestyle I live. I wont lie and tell you I wasn’t hurt or taken aback. We’ve spent four years together, done much, and always confided in one another. Is he jealous of the knowledge that Im traveling the world, free and easy, able to go to the bar every night and dance with exotic girls while he is forced to come home after work to a nagging unloving bitch that makes his life hell? He would never admit that. Im not scared to tell it exactly how it is though. Another trait passed on to me from my father, whom I miss so.

If I had never made the decision to leave all those months ago would I be in the same position as my friend right now? Maybe. More than likely, I was in a long term relationship with someone I thought I loved, about to get sucked into that domesticated world before I jumped ship. Haven’t seen her since actually. Thanks for the memories girl, but you weren’t for me.

Life would be very different and it would bore me to death. I prefer dying in other ways in places where no one understands English.

Now my thoughts go back to my unbiological sister, we once were very close. Always looking after one another, often mistaken to be a couple but not. I thought I was in love with her too, but she’s changed so dramatically in the time I was away I hardly recognized her anymore during my homecoming visit. She lied to me many times in those three weeks, thinking I wouldn’t find out, and probably still thinking Im ignorant. Makes me wonder why we are like we are. She told me I changed a lot too and I’m no longer the Josh she knew, that I’ve grown cold and distant. Well look at yourself babe, can you really blame me? Its only further cemented my belief that you need to keep moving forward in such a way that they will never trap you or hold you down, until finally you find someone that you want to be trapped with. You know who you are.

“I thought you needed my lovin’, But it’s my heart that you stole. I thought you wanted my money, But you plundered my soul.”

[filladaluz-archive]

ABOUT THE MUN :

IN GENERAL:

Real name: Not comfortable telling!! Nicknames: Zelda Sexuality: I don’t fuckin know, I just like what I like Preferred pronouns: she/her yo Are you a morning person ?: tbh I am a bit. I usually wake up pretty early no matter what When swimming, do you prefer to do it in the ocean, or in a lake ?: I’m not near either of these things, but an ocean would be way more fun

ON TUMBLR:

Anyone you would like to meet in real life?: @muubird. I’ll meet you one day, bitch Anyone you have met in real life?: nope When did you first join? How old is your current account?: I started roleplaying like... 4 years ago, and this blog was an old self insert that I abandoned, then remadeinto Opal’s blog. Since then I’ve added two more ladies!! Any peeves?: When people don’t use proper capitalization or punctuation!! I also hate the whole ‘penned by’ fad, only because it just sounds so needlessly arrogant. I’m not saying those who use it ARE, I’m friends with some who do. BUT IT’S JUST A DUMB PEEVE AND IT AIN’T LEAVIN Unpopular opinion: Id share them, but I’d probably be publicly shamed and tumblr brats would start a witch hunt for my ass. No thanks.

FEELINGS:

Do you easily get jealous ?: Not really? Not much anymore. I occasionally do, but that’s only if I’m already in a pretty shitty mood. I do sometimes get jealous of people’s ships tho! Like hot damn I wish my characters had a relationship like that Do you easily get angry ?: I’m usually pretty chill, I get irritated sometimes yeah. And I don’t like to censor myself anymore so if I do have an issue with something, I try to address instead of letting it sit and fester like I used to. Are you easy to cheer up ?: IT DEPENDS. People don’t tend to try to cheer me up, mostly because I don’t express to people when I’m feeling down. Except Chris, I bitch to her about everything. But nah, sometimes someone will say something really nice out of nowhere and it will brighten my whole mood!! It’s always nice when that happens What’s the most hurtful thing someone could do to you ?: Abandon me over stupid shit. We had a little fight and you want to ‘cut me off’ because I’m ‘toxic’ to you now? Fuck no. Friends fight and disagree, it just happens. But if you’re gonna pull that shit, not only will it hurt me forever but it will make me straight up hate for a long ass fucking time.  What’s the most hurtful thing someone has done to you ?: The above. I have a fucking long ass list of people who have done this shit. Then again, most of them were weak ass tumblr bitches. You know the kind, triggered by fucking everything and wallowing in their safe spaces. It’s like they’ve never lived in real life. Are you good at hiding your emotions ?: Eeehh, I have no idea. Either I am, or people just ignore it when I’m feeling shitty and don’t bother trying to help. What’s the very best way to cheer you up ?: I??? have no idea on this, either. I guess just saying nice things maybe? Or being told I’m appreciated.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Are you currently in a relationship?: No Do you currently have a crush on someone?: Nope If yes, might that someone be reading this?: Haaaa  Do you kiss on the first date?: Never been on a date, but I doubt it Do you prefer going out, or staying home, when it comes to dates ?: I think I’d like to go out more imo

THINGS:

Favorite drink: Milk, soda, and orange juice Favorite food: It changes too often Most calming place ?: My bed Most stressful place ?: Work Most prized possession ?: My lil teddy bear that I’ve had since I was an infant. Cute tiny swedish bear

TAGGED BY : stole it from @awadatsu TAGGING : i’m p sure everyone but me has done this by now

[kindofsharethat]

so last night people were sharing stories of how they became larries and i thought i’d make a big (emphasis on big) ol list of them because i found them really fun to read

I've been a 1D fan since 2013 and my sister and i always thought that l&h looked so good together but only the bromance and we're like "omg larries destroyed their friendship poor eleanor 1!1!1!", then in 2015 the "i'm gay pretty unfortunate isn't eleanor ?" happened and i was like WHAAT???? and i ended up searching more and more about larry (bc it was the only thing that came to my mind) and i found the videos and then i told my sister and then here we are.

I became a larrie because someone in my dash who rarely post about 1D posted the first louis/fred pic and tagged it babygate. So I went looking into the tag and found everything. I had doubt but then i saw the moment where H touch L arm and i was in! I actually became a fan of the music after. I've done everything in reverse with this band! But when i entered the fandom in feb2016 and i was hopping to see it all end like a month later! But hey, still here! And loving it mostly! End it!

it was 2011 and my friend told me she had found a really good song and the singers were so cute, she showed me wmyb video and i spent the whole day listening to it and then in the evening i wanted to find out more about these 5 guys. i started watching video diaries ans i was looking for the next one but i accidentally clicked "best larry moments" video aaand the rest is history

I became a larrie after aimh tweet hits 2m and everyone on all of my social media started freaking out even though I didn't follow any 1D blogs so I started search about them and now I'm here also at that time I was kinda homophobic 'cause I live in russia and grown up in middle eastern family and now I'm proud lesbian who knows a lot about LGBTQ+ history so thank you to my larents and 1D for making me gay lol 🌈💕

i was a fan since 2011 but didnt know about larry bc i was young and didnt have any social media but around 2013-2014 my friend showed me the "are you and louis dating" vid and i was like the mr krabs meme bc i just couldnt understand why larry would have to be covered up so i went home and watched "why elounor is fake" videos and my eyes were open and ever since that day ive been a larrie and i regret not knowing sooner but im here now !!

i saw the daddy daddy cool tweet and was like dude that's the wrong type of daddywtf? & I hadn't heard about a pregnancy? then a week later I had read the treatise and had a side blog and watched all the freddieismyqueen videos & was in way too deeeep lol. I've never been around when they weren't on the break even, I'm so confused about how I got here but now I can't escape 😝I had never even listened to their music before but then I also did that and was like damn they're so good?!

I just remembered going out once and being quite tipsy when DMD video came on so I pointed to Louis and Harry and said 'they're in love, but shh nobody can know' and one of my friends looked at me with a WTF?? expression on her face and said 'but I thought that was common knowledge'. Mind you, she still doesn't even know their names, let alone anything else. That was around the time bg was still a fresh wound and I'll never forget it bc it was so nice to hear it and also my hangover was a bitch.

I got interested in 1D right after their last concert, like right on Halloween. I became a Larrie that very same day too, right after i read Dan Wattpad's infamous "Harry and Louis hate each other". I saw articles floating around saying how they were enemies, reason for Zayn leaving...blah blah. I was sceptical, then i came across the famous OTRA hug, and i was like, no fucking way they hate each other, not with how they are hugging. I then delved into YT and discovered freddieismyqueen. Bless.

I joined july 2014 (2 months after they 've passed my country ouch) and was instantly hooked because this shit is like crack. Today I'm the darkest larrie that exists preaching the word for everyone who'll listen. I can WAIT for their CO because I have a party prepared? I literally have a wine since 2014 in my cellar that I'm only going to open the day they're free, I have nauthical theme stocked for the party. My friends just know that they have to come and that I'll be crying the whole month!!

weirdly enough i became a larry cos of that stupid channel 4 documentary id never heard of larry or gay shipping or whatever before that and i saw that and i was very mr krabs meme and i looked into it saw that it wasn't evil and gross like they were portraying it and never turned back

I joined the fandom in late 2012 and I wasn't a larrie but I wasn't an anti either i just hadn't looked into it but then i remember during the confirmation of bg on gma i felt bad for harry and i didnt really know why and I was surprised by my own reaction. Then with bg going on I started to realise that none of that could be real I did my research and I've been a larrie ever since :)

I joined the fandom in 2012, used to think Elounor was real but just because I never looked into it and I knew some people thought Larry was real at the time so I checked this insta page that debunked Elounor and I have no regrets 💙💚

When I become a 1D fan, in 2012, I liked elounor and I liked Eleanor unfortunately. I was not that into fandom things so I wasn't paying attention to details. But my whole view changed in 2014 when they came to South America for the WWAT and all those rumors in Argentina with the hotel room and Brazil that was an experience and I was like "ok something is happening here between them" and here I am, 4 years later and going strong as a larrie. I'm on the winning team 😌💅🏼

I became a larrie when my friend first introduced me to fanfiction. I read a larry one and was totally amazed by it. After that, I switched between het ones and larry ones, but always came back to larry. After that, I simply became obsessed with the pair, something that made me fall in love with the band and all of them. I watched the dairies and everything, and just saw how clear their infatuation was. Tumblr and a lot of other sites just simply proved the theory even more. No regrets ❤

i became a larrie late novemeber after a month of being in the 1d fandom. i watched freddieismyqueen videos and other proofs for hours everyday (especially over thanksgiving break)

I wasn't even a fan of 1D, but while I was looking for pictures of them to do a collage for a friend, I found one in which Louis and Harry were looking at each other and, damn, I can't explain what I felt, I just knew it. So, I was trying to figure out if I was the only one thinking there was something between this two, and it turned out I wasn't! I discovered tumblr, and I spent 3 days reading post, watching videos and proofs and...here I am, 3 years after, being the larriest larrie

I became a 1d fan when uan tour had just started and like. I watched all the damn youtube videos in about a week and I noticed that in the video diaries on the stairs they were so ~cozy, and they were so Extra™ on stage and hl weren't like that with the other boys. They just emanated the feelings I suppressed: Ultra Gay. And yeah. That's how it Began for me

I became a larrie when I watched the behind the scenes of wmyb and Louis was saying "I've gotta say it" and Harry was all over him and hid his face in Louis' shoulder and said "no!"

Same like that previous anon i hadnt even considered two guys being more than friends bc of where i grew up. But just watching proof videos of them for a while i kind of realized how in love they were. Thats when i started thinking about how different and colorful the world actually is compared to what I've learned from the people i grew up around

I became a larrie when my friend and I would watch their video diaries together, and I would see the way h&l acted with each other. I mentioned it to my friend and she was like yeah, Larry, and she showed me one YouTube video so I spent weeks watching every single one I could find, all these years later and I've come to accept theres no way to crawl out of this 😂

are we sharing larrie stories? my friend became a fan early 2012 (and a larrie) and was adamant on making me on too, and I finally gave in summer 2013. I rmr the day after TCAs that year, niall tried to do a twitcam and idr how but some article got written abt the twitcam that included a link to those 'you just have to pay attention' videos. I marathoned them all, and it was that arm moment that zayn failed to hide that #sealed it. though my friend gave me the skinny on haylor back in 2012~

i was like a super casual fan since their first album. my friend introduced them to me cuz she was crushing on zayn. i just knew their music but not actually them. i became a larrie during weedgate. weird timing, i know. i saw it on the news and got curious about what was going on. saw the video then got to know about the boys individually through past vids. i started from the very start from the xf vid diaries. those two, not subtle AT ALL. and well, the rest was history.

i was in entirely different fandom back in 2014, but one of my follower turns into a liam stan and starts to post about 1d and there was a post about how harry and louis can't touch each other and i thought that was really weird weren't they bandmates?? then i started digging around and stumble into a treatise blog. here i am now hahaha

I got into this fandom because of my best friend. She showed me week 4 diary video... and I was like are those two in a relationship?? I pointed at louis and harry and she said no why? And I was like I don't know they seem cozy together and I pointed out that harry was staring at louis lips... she didn't believe me first but now she is a larrie😂 So basically I got into this fandom knowing larry is real

I became a fan of the boys 4 years ago. I read about Larry and that fans believed they were together so I went on YouTube and saw some videos and read some stories (I think it was here on tumblr??) and I immediately believed they were together. There wasn't a particular moment for me, it was a lot of things. Probably, above all, the way they looked at each other. They never looked at someone else so fondly. And 4 years later I keep saying the same thing 💖

for me, i always thought louis was gay from way back in 2011 but i didn't really think of harry's sexuality cause i wasn't like a stan i was just a casual fan [which is why it confuses me when people say that if larry isn't real, louis is straight and horrible, no...he still gay as hell babe]. anyway i became a larrie cause i used to really follow celeb gossip and when the news dropped, gossip sites/tabloids kept mentioning harry and larries everywhere so i decided to investigate and...here i am

[the-cryptographer]

FEBRUARY MARCH CHALLENGE!!!

Yay! I did the thing! Below the cut you can find some silly answers and silly ms paint artwork~ It’s been forever since I’ve drawn and even more forever since I’ve drawn anime, so everything sucks but be kind, okay~

1. Favourite Character

This guy!!! I remember liking him immediately when I first watched in gradeschool, so he’s a longtime fave. I wish I remembered the basis for my affinity all those years ago, but it’s been lost to the tides of time. Now I kind of think about how his character works on two levels for me:

(1) On a kind of surface level, he’s just really fun to watch. His voice and his dialogue. The comedic expressions. The stupid accent in the dub. He’s temperamental and hammy. And, unlike a lot of the other characters, when he’s upset or unhappy, he’s generally driven towards being more active rather than being more passive - so instead of introspective scenes where he’s retreating into himself, you get all these scenes where he goes out and starts doing really dumb shit. He’s one of the few characters I pretty much universally enjoy watching for the theatrical value.

(2) And on a kind of deeper level, I just find him really inspirational. He’s far from a flawless character - there are so many ways he acts recklessly and makes mistakes, so many ways he can be grating and even cruel, and so many things he’s really not that good at. But he’s just so resilient and determined and such an aggressively good friend to Yuugi. I think especially with all the darker subtext in the manga, you can see the really bad places he’s come from, and how he’s been met with so much failure along the way - but he’s made it so far~ I wish we could all fall and get back on our feet as easily as Jounouchi.

2. Runner Up Character

Put-upon Egyptian Cult Leader!! Who I don’t believe I talk about enough.

He’s an exciting villain, imo!! He puts Yuugi & co in a lot of tight spots, and in a lot of ways didn’t seem to leave the story on the same page as them, but he comes through his arc just devastatingly sympathetic in my mind. I think it’s easy to sympathise with the way he’s at war with himself and his lot in life.

There’s kind of a lot of exciting attributes collected around him too - mind control and alternate personalities, Tomb Keeper politics and Rare Hunter politics, an uneasy partnership with the big bad of the series, and a really poorly established relationship with his brother Rishid that switches between master-subordinate, patient-caretaker, and older-and-younger siblings.

On a personal level though, I appreciate the way he’s willful and clever and lazy and manipulative and NEVER STOPS LYING. I appreciate how much he fights and loses hope and is renewed in his fight against his more insane tendencies. I appreciate that he doesn’t seem to develop genuine fondness for the protags so much as come to realise they’re his way out of this mess and pragmatically follow through on it. And I appreciate how he’s revealed to be fiercely caring towards his siblings in spite of all faults. And it feels so real and tender and angry and human, I even temporarily forget how awful he’s been mere hours before.

Admittedly, I don’t exactly have a clear picture of his fanon existence and what I’d like from it. Especially since I’m not super into the thiefship scene. I’d kind of like to read more about him though. Especially about him and his siblings, or him and Ryou, or him and Yuugi.

3. Favourite Protagonist

Cutie baby~

I guess... Yuugi and I... are maybe... kind of... alike? I’m like a tall, shitty version of him, lmao.

He is a passive pacifist sweetheart with too much self-doubt in his heart and too much porn under his mattress. I like how he grows into himself in the series and learns to be more assertive - but remains the calm, friendly, and trusting person he always was.

4. Favourite Villain

I guess this would be Malik again? Who even counts as a villain in ygo? All of them get redeemed.

I’m just gonna say Kaiba. Kaiba’s tried to kill enough of the protags to be a villain, lol. He’s weaseled his way into a central role in the series tho~ Mr. Popular~

I think I’ve talked quite a bit about why I like Kaiba - but he’s just so damaged and so weak and so strong. He builds death theme parks and shuts down weapons production. Compared to us average humans, he’s more capable of doing good and more capable of doing evil both. Also I project onto him like a mofo.

5. Favourite Yami

I guess this would also be Malik again - Malik’s disturbing split personality.

Naw, tho~ My new favourite Yami is Yami!Isis. All bow down to the cold, all-seeing Priestess.

6. Favourite Series

Season Zero. Or idk, I still have to watch Season Zero but I love manga Season Zero so I assume. Um, the manga? Or am I just supposed to say DM? I still haven’t gotten to watching GX at length but I will.

7. Favourite Arc

Season Zero

A different game every week. Mundane school life in Japan spiced up with pyromania. lots of character focus. Thug life. But I already kind of answered this for the last question.

Maybe Duellist Kingdom?

I like the duels in DK a lot - I know they didn’t follow the rules, but they’re kind of snappy and satisfying. And it has a lot of my favourite Seto moments and Mai moments. And I like the straightforwardness in the arc’s setup, the goals of the characters, and how it built up to the finals. I feel like there’s not a dull moment building up to the confrontation with Pegasus from the meeting with Seto before the castle - the way Atem lost to Seto, and then Seto getting his soul pilfered, and Tristan and the others climbing around the castle, and the Atem-Mai and Jou-Keith duels were some of the better ones in the series.

But my cracky id loves DOMA?

It’s stupid and I know it’s stupid. But the silly villains. REAL MONSTERS. Mai having PTSD complications. Roadtrip in the USA. All the polarshipping. stfu - I can like DOMA if I want to like DOMA.

8+9. Favourite Quote & Runner Up Quote

I am so bad at remembering quotes. I mean, you can’t beat the Yuujou pun, I guess.

I suppose I like the speech Anzu gave Kaiba during DK, about the chip of life, and how Yuugi saved him. I don’t like Anzu’s speech in the dub, but for some reason Kaiba snapping back at her What do you have? with ‘I have all that I need!’ has really stuck with me - I have no idea why(??) But I even used that line in a fic.

I also like when Jounouchi goes on the date with Fake-Virtual-World!Mai. “Anywhere’s fine, so long as it’s with you.” Aww~

I’m not sure any of these are my favourite favourite, but I liked them all.

10. Funniest Moment of the Series

When Kaiba dropped a key into the ocean and somehow Jounouchi didn’t die, lmao

Okay, for reals tho, I’m not sure. But it was funny when Jounouchi almost fell off the balcony in Duellist Kingdom. And the potato song. And when Jounouchi called Kaiba on the phone and Otogi did the Kaiba imitation during DOMA. And when Kaiba and Mai got into a street race - NEVER FORGET!

11. Scariest Moment of the Series

OMG. When Bakura as Honda confronted Yuugi about giving up his wish, and Yuugi tearfully admits his wish was to have friends. Raw. Terrifying. I died.

Okay, again for reals. I guess that’s my admission that the series never managed to make me really fear for the characters. There are times when I scare myself thinking about how empty Kaiba must feel at times though.

12. Favourite Moment Overall

*plays Mystical Refpanel* “Jounouchi-kun… Daisuki da.”

13. Runner Up Moment

Mai giving Jounouchi the entry card during DK.

Mai’s so elegant. But, geez, this must have taken a lot out of her. She just lost her own duel - was just crying herself - has never really had friends before by her own admission. She does this with such seeming ease but she’s really putting herself out on a line here - and Jounouchi probably even doesn’t understand that - but he does all the right things anyhow <3

Yes all my favourite moments are people being nice to Jounouchi - shut up!

Other runner up moments are Rishid’s speech to Malik at the end of Battle City. Kaiba sacrificing Obelisk to summon the Blue Eyes during his duel with Isis. And I also like the very end of Duellist Kindgom and how Mai gets last minute invited on the helicopter ride. Which leads nicely into the next question.

14. Favourite Romantic Ship

Mai/Jounouchi/Kaiba.

Mai and Jounouchi are my favourite proto-romance in the series. Jounouchi and Kaiba are my favourite duo in the series for interesting and revealing character moments. All together they make the greatest ship of bad decisions ever invented.

15. Favourite Platonic Ship

There aren’t many things I only ship platonically. And for things I ship romantically and platonically – there are a ton. But shout-out goes to MaiKai for being the platonic bros of my OTP. I told you - NEVER FORGET that time they got into a street race.

I feel like there’s a lot to work with here though. High society. Introversion and the desire for isolation. Rigidity vs flexibility. Maturity and competence vs pettiness and complete and utter stupidity. Mai beta testing Legendary Heroes. Mai giving Kaiba ‘grown-up’ advice. Learning to trust. They will be drinking buddies. They must become drinking buddies.

16. Runner Up Ship

Honda & Otogi & Serenity.

I like them taking the train together in the manga, but it’s mostly an anime ship. I enjoy watching Otogi and Honda fighting each other for Serenity’s attention and getting completely wrapped up in each other in the process, lol. There’s a level of transparency to it that I find amusing. And it’s sweet the way they all move in to cover each others’ backs during the duel with Oota. They have their missteps, but it makes things feel rewarding when they come through for each other in the end. And, lol, this moment-

In the context of a romantic ship, Honda’s so romantically idealistic and Serenity’s so naively unindulgent - they’re both very stubborn in their own way, but I feel like Otogi is capable of bringing in the realism to mediate that situation. I think my headcanons are heavily influenced by this writer’s work. Even outside of a romantic context though, I want them to be an adventurous trio of friends, lol. I hope they all grow up and manage it in the future~

17. Another Runner Up Ship

Second runner up could be so many things, but this stands out as something I want to see more of - and also have a drawing:

Mai & Vivian.

Okay. But seriously. I want Great Wall of China fataleshipping adventures. I want them to be super catty friends. Please give me more of Mai postcanon female friends and femslash.

18. Favourite Monster

Dark Necrofear!

I talked about most of the cards in this post, but I’ll refresh your memory. (I haven’t made it far in Reshef, but Duel Links has left me feeling more or less the same regarding favourite cards.)

19. Runner Up Monster

REMEMBER WHEN KISARA WAS A CARD~

AU where Kisara is the Happy Queen of the Duel Monsters parallel universe, and Kaibaman is her dimension hopping servant.

20. Favourite Spell

One of these two.

21. Favourite Trap

Hahaha. Fuck Kaiba >:(

22. Design Your Own Character

No. I drew Asuka from GX instead.

23. Design Your Own Monster

I’ll do it one of these days~ But not today~

24. Favourite DSoD Moment

Idk, when Yuugi told Kaiba off? When Otogi and his dad showed up? When Jounouchi wrote his initials on his Duel Disk? When Honda and Yuugi rode a motorcycle and went to save Jounouchi? When Jounouchi and Honda rode a bike to school?

WHEN KAIBA WATCHED YUUGI PUT TOGETHER THE LAST PIECES OF THE PUZZLE AND HIS FAAAAACE D:

25. Favourite New Character in DSoD

MANI! SO CUTE! SO SWEET! SO CRAZY WHEN HE PUTS ON THE RING!

But Shadi also gets points here for being different enough that I can imagine him as a new character.

26. Least Favourite New Character

Sera.

27. DSoD Could Have Done _____ Better

Lots of stuff but I’m not in the mood rn. I liked the film overall.

28. Favourite New Card From DSoD

REMEMBER WHEN MAHAAD WAS A CARD~

OMG! That’s the end of the meme! It took forever, right? But thank you if you read all this way <3

[rosecolored-gay]

All them questions bitch

Okayyyyy

1. Are you a side, back, or front sleeper?

- Side or stomach, mainly stomach.

2. When you hum random music what song is it?

- Probably the jeopardy theme song.

3. Explain your username

- I am a gay, and rose colored because of the Paramore song.

4: Explain my username

- Anon?

5: How did you fall into the tumblr hellpit?

- Lol, my friend Tuna from high school marching band.

6: What fan interest of yours would you least prefer to explain in your workplace?

-My hidden love for Degrassi, and other shows from when I was kid.

7: What fan interest or yours would you most enjoy explaining in your workplace?

- Definitely my love for Grey’s Anatomy

8: Last song you listened to?

- High Hopes - Panic! At the Disco

9: Weirdest thing on your dash today?

- Not weird, but saw a lot of porn

10: In a perfect world, what animal would you most like to adopt?

- A polar bear!

11: What animal would you most like someone else to adopt?

- This question doesn’t make sense to me

12: What’s something trivial you have strong opinions about?

- OOH man, if you want to get me fired up, I have a strong opinion on LGBTQ rights, gender inequality, a woman’s right to choose, and race inequality. I’m a sociologist, so.

13: What would your super-villain finishing move be?

- Spiderweb like Tom Holland did in Homecoming.

14: Explain your icon.

- It’s me, looking hella gay.

15: You meet your true love(s) today. Possibly again. Describe your ideal hilarious romcom meetcute. (can be aromantic)

- Ummm, I always love the idea of two people picking up each others coffee order by accident and then they go to switch it and the one person is like “why’d you order this like this?”, idk and it leads to conversation, lol. I have a wild imagination when it comes to writing.

16: Your comfort food, and why.

- I really really really love Matzo Brei made by my dad. 

17: What type of mad science will you Show Them All with? (ex: mad chemical engineer, mad library scientist, mad linguist). Which of your creations will probably turn on you?

- I have no clue

18: Favorite cheesy trope?

-The having to share the bed trope

19: Favorite trope nobody writes enough of?

- Fake dating

20: Rec me a book, comic, or anime, or other piece of media you wish there were more like.

- Mmm, I could always go for more LGBTQ fiction.

21: Wierdest tumblr drama you’ve been a part of or stumbled across.

- Uh well, someone was harassing me on anon for a while. 

22: You know those things from a million years ago your brain suddenly reminds you to feel embarrased/guilty/bad about in full technicolor? Tell me one of them.

- L O L, how about the time I decided not to listen to my mom, and I was swinging my body back and forth on my grandmother’s walker, and it was on concrete, it moved, and I fell on my ass and bruised my tailbone so bad I couldn’t sit for a week.

23: What is something you collect?

- Notebooks

24: Pens. Do you know where the one closest to you came from? Would you be distressed if someone took it?

- Its a pilot precise pen, it belongs to my mother and if I took it she’d murder me.

25: The last game you played is crossed with the zombie apocalypse and now going down outside your window. How boned are you?

- Like video game? Uh, Super Mario Bros.

26: What was the last thing that made you cry?

- Getting a job that I really wanted.

27: Most embarrassing/weird/personal body thing you’re willing to talk about.

- Umm, I have a lot of freckles just randomly placed all over me.

28: Your icon is now the voice of your inner therapist. How is this gonna go?

- So, I’m my own therapist?

29: Name a kink you only like hypothetically.

- I’m so vanilla

30: Name a kink you find bewildering.

- Anything with animals is just fucking weird

31: You have acquired: a mouse, a lizard, a rabbit, a spider, a domestic fox. Name them! Who gets to sleep on the bed?

- Mouse is definitely now named Mickey, the Lizard is Godzilla, Rabbit is Dash, Spider - No way in hell am I keeping a spider.., Fox is named Zeus

32: What was your favorite childhood toy? Do you still have it?

- It was a barney plush, and he’s in a box in my closet

33: Hit “shuffle” on your media player and tell me your favorite lyric from the song that comes up.

- “Did you take him to the pier in Santa Monica? Forget to bring a jacket, wrap up in him cause you wanted to? I'm just curious, is it serious?”

34: What fan media (of yours or someone else’s) would you most like to see art/fic for?

- These Strange Steps, it’s a Faberry fic on AO3. 

35: What do you ship that you think would be hard to explain convincingly to other people? Attempt an explanation.

- Uhhhh, I kinda shipped Arizona and April from Grey’s Anatomy.

36: What meme gets on your nerves?

- The salt bae one I guess

37: Showers or baths?

- Showers

38: Who was your biggest childhood nemesis and why?

- This kid Talia, she lied to a kid that liked me and told him I hated him and almost ruined our friendship.

39: First writing prompt that comes to your head.

- AU on fake dating

40: Least favorite color.

- Purple

41: What was the last thing you got really obsessed with?

- Cutthroat Kitchen

42: What’s the weirdest experience you’ve ever had on a mind-altering substance? (prescription, recreational, otc, or food)

- Uh, got high and drunk at the same time and just felt hella fucked up

43: Shuffle up a random song on your media player. Now tell me what ship/story goes with it.

- Wowwww, its How To Save A Life by the fray, it just means someone on Grey’s is prob gonna die.

44: What’s making you happiest recently? :)

- Rach

45: What’s scaring you these days? :(

- Writing 60000 papers, will my brain turn to mush

46: Post a funny video for me.

- Too much work

47: Did you ever have a dream/nightmare that stuck with you for years?

- YES, ok make fun of me all you want, but one night I had a nightmare that a hippo chased me up a palm tree, been scared of hippos since. Absolutely the most irrational fear ever

48: What’s a movie you thought you’d hate but you turned out to love?

- Honestly, I thought I’d hate marvel movies, but I love them now that I’ve given them a try

49: Tell me a really obscure fact you know.

- There’s a spot in the brain where if someone smoke cigarettes and you injure this part of the brain, they’ll immediately quit cold turkey

50: Hot or cold?

- I hate hot weather, love the cold

51: How did your parent(s) punish you as a kid? What do you think of that?

- Taking away my phone or something I wanted to do. It was good incentive not to misbehave anymore

52: What’s something you thought was true about yourself that your feelings have changed on over the years?

- That I wasn’t smart

53: Write a story in seven words.

- uhhh

54: What is your favorite curse word?

- fuck

55: Favorite food for every color of the rainbow.

- pink - cotton candy, green - broccoli, yellow - pineapple, red -strawberry, blue - acai berry

56: If you were a poltergeist where would you haunt and what would be your preferred style of prank?

- I’d haunt my enemies, scare the shit out of them

57: What is an art style, craft, or skill that you can’t do, but you really admire in others?

- anything art like

58: What is a skill you have that people probably don’t know about?

- I can write poetry well

59: Name a pet peeve you have, and something you do that is probably a pet peeve for others.

- PEOPLE THAT CHEW WITH THEIR MOUTH OPEN, uhh i click pens constantly. Sorry lmao

60: Dragons, dinosaurs, or aliens?

- dinosaurs

61: What was the last big fight you had with someone about?

- About what show to watch at dinner, with my mom.

62: Insult the asker of this question creatively.

- too lazy

63: In an ideal world, what would you like done with your body after you die?

- do that thing where i become a tree

64: Find me a weird stock photo and post it.

- no

65: What was your bedtime ritual as a kid? Did you have one?

- my dad used to come in my room and open my closet and check under my bed for monsters and yell at them to leave

66: What are the three traits you value the most in others?

- humor, loyalty, honesty

67: What are the three most interesting wild animals you’ve encountered in your life?

- manatees, elephants, trump supporters

68: What is a word you really enjoy saying?

- shitballs

69: Answer number 60 like it was a “fuck, marry, kill” rhetorical.

- dude no thats nasty

70: Describe something that happened to you today as if you were a narrator in a film noir, nature documentary, or 50s teaching video

- ummm no

71: Create five new nicknames for yourself as quickly as you can.

- hey you, asshole, gaymo, flaming homo, queerer than a deer

72: Shorts, pants, skirts, or other?

- basketball shorts, or jeans

73: What’s a song you hate and why?

- Anything by Meghan trainor or taylor swift

74: If you were a superhero, what would be your one weakness?

- id stop on my way to save people if i saw a cute puppy that id want to pet

75: Describe a weird encounter you had with a bug.

- I killed a spider yesterday that had hitched a ride in my car